#fuck markus söder

[gay-david-tennant]

every time someone uses the gendersternchen * an angel gets xyr wings

[scentedluminarysoul]

Lmao, Markus getting roasted

(Rundown: Markus here is a far right politician, moaning about drugs = bad. Context box saying he'd been to the Oktoberfest multiple times, and that the drug alcohol is the most common drug in Germany, 5% of all deaths are caused by it)

[darkacademiaarchivist]

Uh hey Caro

So I have bad news

Er hat auch einen weinachtspullover

ICH WEISSSSSS

(ich hasse, dass ich das weiß)

[tomtepixiedust]

I had this epiphany over breakfast. So Gellert Grindelwald is German, right?

But like what region? Is it the middle of nowhere Sachsen, maybe out of left field Saarland or from up north Schleswig Holstein?

My personal fave is Bayern.

Imagine him strutting up all important to Dumbledore and then breaks off for a cursing session in Bairisch, thick accent and all.

To the point where even his German followers have a problem keeping up with what the fuck he's talking about.

On another note for the German people: imagine Grindelwald but Markus Söder style

[lilacella]

FMK: Alice Weidel, Olaf Scholz, Markus Söder

Ewwww what are you doing to me, cat!!😖😖🤢

Okay so we both know who has to die here: Alice Weidel. Never turn down a chance to get rid of a nazi 😇

Then I suppose I would fuck Scholz, but only if he is wearing his eyepatch! (And I am really really drunk 🫠🫠)

And then I would marry Söder?? Helppppp....

Ask game

[cahirsmommy]

and i stand by that

i may be a bit early but here’s a warning in advance: if i see any of you vote for markus söder i will come through your screen and break every single one of your bones one by one

[zombie-modus]

Possible drag names

I will never do drag, but do I have a list with possible names? Of course! (disclaimer: pretty sure I may have subcontiously heard a name somewhere else and thought i made it up)

Mel Issues-Intent (get it? get it?)

Leia of Deceit (pretty sure i heard this one somewhere)

Tilly Jennifer (ok thats just fun to me because of my name and admiration for Jennifer Tilly)

Marlene Dicktricks (i think i must have heard this one somewhere for sure)

Lucy Loveless

Désirée Less (there is a deeper meaning here which i like, we all should desire less)

Mel Ann Colly (trend alert: depressing drag queen names)

Debbie Downer (obviously I did not make that name up, but I desperately need a drag queen to be named this even though it indicates not having a good time)

Ina Saboteur (basiiic, may work better in german because of the way "Ina" is pronounced here)

Vanity Project (I feel like someone should be and probably is named that)

Names that might speak more to a german audience:

Analena Bareback (ok this one, i'm proud of; german politician)

Karin Black (its giving Dragula / Karen Black's german drag name)

Steffi Grab (Steffi Graf's Dragula name)

Dörte Dancing (basiiic)

Christel (Krystall) Mett (basiiic / shoutout to Markus Söder you fucking POS)

Dieter von Tease (drag king anyone? Dieter is kind of a old people/funny'ish name in german)

[littlelemontarte]

markus söder when i catch you in the fucking streets 🔪

[steffen-dilfrael]

Immer wenn ich Videos von der Spendengala sehe... also imagine du rufst da an und spendest als junger Mensch 50€ von deinem ersparrten weil dir Kinder am Herz liegen und dann geht da fucking Markus Söder ran ☠️☠️ dirket wieder aufgelegt und lieber ans Tierheim gespendet

[pancakes-and-pansexuals]

fuck you Markus Söder

[mothmans-cumrag]

Ooooh boy, alright. So.

I will try and give you a summary of all the memed about things that happened since November 6th but I will probably miss a few things, so if any other Germans see this post please add on.

Basically:

For three years, the FDP, the corrupt libertarian party, with its head Christian Lindner, tried to block any good idea to help poor people, disabled people, homeless people, women, children,... Basically anyone who ever needed help ever. This of course made the government look like it never got anything done, and made Olaf Scholz look like he has never worked a day in his life. The only time I was aware of him being Kanzler was when he wore an eyepatch for three weeks after a jogging accident. This all changed on November 6th.

On November 6th, Bundeskanzler Olaf Scholz asked for Minister Christian Lindner to be fired

He concluded the speech in which he did so with "... doof." which is very much how you would talk to a 4yr old

He then went on live television to basically drag Lindner through the mud publicly (which he deserved)

Robert Habeck, Vice Chancellor and head of the green party apparently looked like he had cried or was about to cry??? Idk I've only seen memes about this and not the actual source

Lindner was trying his best to act as the victim, and since he is the head of the FDP, he asked his party to leave with him. Which they did. All except for Volker Wissing. There are quite a lot of memes about that as well

It was clear pretty that Olaf Scholz would lose the vote about whether the parliament still trusted him and the greens (and Volker!) to govern Germany, and that there would be a snap election

At first it was said that we don't have enough paper (what?) to have the election before March.

Now the date for said election was set to be at the end of February (don't ask me why we suddenly have enough paper) which caused outrage in Köln (cologne) because of fucking Karneval

Since the last few big elections held in Germany all had the right extremist (Nazi) party AfD in first or second place, all fans of democracy got real scared about this one being so soon. Also because it was pretty likely that the CDU might be getting a lot of votes now, since they act as if they wouldn't form a coalition with the AfD. But since they have been leaning further and further to the right, who knows. Also they are very much anti trans ppl and almost as racist and sexist as the AfD while also being as corrupt as the FDP. Truly great.

Also the CDUs Kanzlerkandidat will be a man who was against making it illegal to rape your married partner. As in. If you were married to someone who raped you, it doesn't count as rape. Who also called it immoral to have marriage equality, but the rape thing is even worse, I think.

Robert Habeck announced that he is running for Chancellor. In a video. Where he wore a swiftie style bracelet that said Kanzler era (Chancellor era).

Some prick from the CDU tweeted that, if Habeck wins, that will be the fault of women because they are emotional, and so we should think about inofficially taking women's right to vote away.

That got a lot of backlash (understandable) and he changed his header to the words "women's right to vote, 1919" (pathetic)

The press now discovered that Lindner had actually planned this downfall of the government for months, because the FDP has been doing miserable in the polls for... I can't say forever but for quite a while. Which is crazy, right? Throwing the country into chaos because you are unpopular? Potentially allowing Nazis to run Germany once again because people don't like you?? Who does that???

Now. Everyone is basically stumbling into election mode. There are countless interviews and press releases. And in an interview on a podcast, Robert Habeck said that he doesn't think of Markus Söder (CSU, which is like CDU but in Bavarian) of his enemy, but thinks that Söder has a crush on him. But he doesn't reciprocate said crush.

I probably forgot something, or a lot of somethings, or messed up the time line, but these are the things ghosting around my head rn.

Do you really want to know all the T on the German government (if you're not aware already)?

Absolutely. I get a bit from the news and the bit of German I understand, but it seems like there's a lot more!

[gay-david-tennant]

FUCK MARKUS SÖDER

[worstofchefkoch]

+++WANTED+++GESUCHT+++HALLO+++

Wir haben uns auf dem Soli-Konzert der Depeche Mode Coverband (Diebisch Maut) gesehen und es war gleich knister knister. Du warst circa 3,5 Meter groß und deine erstaunlich langen Beine waren unten aus Holz. Du warst mir schon als du dich mir vorstelztest sympathisch, und erst recht, als du mich, vielleicht erinnerst du dich, später bumstest. Leider habe ich deinen Namen, dein Aussehen und deine Telefonnummer vergessen, weil ich ca. 700 Mon Chéri gegessen und dementsprechend mächtig Seitenwind hatte. Du hast mir nachts noch einen deiner “schnellen Burger” zubereitet, und ich habe aus Versehen das Rezept mitgenommen. Jetzt habe ich es heute morgen in meiner Tasche gefunden und würde es dir gerne zurückgeben, denn jetzt, in einem wieder halbwegs nüchternen Zustand, wüsste ich ehrlich gesagt nicht, warum zur Hölle man sowas essen sollte, aber gut. Also, unbekannter Riese, stelz dich nicht so an und melde dich bei mir, gerne können wir dann auch nochmal unser Frühstücksfleisch gegeneinander klatschen lassen. Guten Hunger (Damke Carolin)!

[if-we-are-free-tell-me-why]

Sooo

the most fucked up thing about this election is that in the end nothing is going to change. You would think that 11% for an extremist party should be concerning but somehow it’s not? It’s actually low compared to trends somewhere else in the country. And honestly I’m saddest about the overall loss of votes on the left. The Greens won sure but over all if you compare the results with what the surveys said, it is a loss. Everybody feared a possible coalition against the CSU and that was far of. Now they won’t even have to govern with a progressive party but with a party which will just be happy to govern and which has a lot in common with the CSU. I was so hoping for something to change. ANYTHING. But now the crosses, the xenophopia and this hyperfixation on security in a contry with the lowest criminality rates in ages all that will stay. And worse than that: the CSU will not even question it I don’t know how much of is was pretend but when you watch the interviews of people like Söder or Seehofer they do not see the need to be critical as long as they can choose their junior partner. At the same time they had their second worst results ever. The only time they had a worse result the SPD governed. People resigned over better results and they won’t even admit how unpopular their policies were. But even sadder in my opinion is that a majority of people wasn’t like ‘hey let’s maybe vote a littele bit more progressive' but rather: ‘you know what we need? more old white men who are even more racist and backwards.’ If all of this didn’t lead to a political chance in Bavaria I don’t know what at this point

[fernsehn]

Dass Markus Söder ein Kreuz aufhängt und gleichzeitig meint, es sei kein religiöses Symbol sagt einfach schon alles. So wie alle Taten und Äußerungen, Söders der vergangenen Jahre keinen Zweifel an seinem Ego- und Machtstreben und Ignoranz komplexer Politik, Gesten, Äußerungen, lassen. Söder missbraucht als Politiker die Religion und Spiritualität anderer Menschen, wiederholt für seine Zwecke und sein eigenes Machtstreben. Sei es das Kreuz und das Christentum oder den Islam. Es gibt ein facebook Video, das glaube ich irgendwann vor der Bundestagswahl im letzten Jahr auf Söders Kanal erschien, in dem er vor einer Kirche in Nürnberg steht (die Kirche in der er getauft wurde oder sich seine Eltern getraut haben, sowas in der Art) und traurig warnend erzählt, dass früher hauptsächlich Christen in diesem Viertel wohnten, nun aber zu großen Anteilen Muslime... WTF?! Markus Söder ist ein Arschloch. Was sagt es über die Struktur und Kultur einer Partei aus, die Demagogen, wie ihn und Horst Seehofer an ihrer Spitze stehen lässt? 

[alexalblondo]

Bitches be like “fuck the patriarchy” then seriously think: Daddy <333 while looking at Markus Söder

It’s me. I am bitches.