#fuck ingen

[sweet-potato-42]

Prison arc might be cool and fun but it means we likely wont get any creation lore for a while :(

[guccipussay]

I was gasping for AIR and choking on my tears

[ferociouslycreativemystery]

Jag hade sagt "fan ta dig Michael Sheen" men jag antar att han redan gjorde det...

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Love is a Many-Legged Thing

Yandere Squid Merman x Gender Neutral Reader CW: Noncon, tentacle noncon, light tentacle bondage, stalking, kidnapping, squid-based merman, big slimy prehensile merman dick, reader fucked senseless, merman fantasizes about receiving oral sex, general yandere behavior, delusional yandere, voyeurism, exhibitionism Word Count: 2k (Happy MerMay!!!! I really hope you all love the fic, would have been done weeks ago had the ac not died. But still 40min left of MerMay! I wrote this fast without a beta reader so please forgive any mistakes! The name Onyk is a reference to Onykia Ingens, a deap sea squid with an astoundingly long dick.)

Seaspark Aquarium was a very unique establishment. Not only did it contain the usual attractions that an aquarium housed, the tide pools, the sharks, a seemingly unending variety of colorful fish and corals and nudibranchs, but it also housed transient merfolk. The aquarium was situated on a flat outcrop of rocky land. Via submerged tubes it granted access to a huge tank to the ocean and merfolk below.

The tank was absolutely massive and had many different areas including a reef, a seaweed forest, a beach, and even a secluded sea cave. There were underwater cameras in most of the areas that live streamed what was happening on screens for the humans. Though the sea cave feed was restricted to adults only since the merfolk sometimes mated there.

The aquarium was just as much an exhibit for the merpeople as it was for the humans, they had underwater screens that allowed them to view the humans at play and at the food court. They enjoyed seeing and even communicating with their terrestrial cousins. There were several areas where humans and merpeople could talk face to face or via the cameras. Many of them visited quite frequently and made friendships with regular customers and their favorite staff members.

You had been blessed with landing a really good job at Seaspark Aquarium. Though it was entirely because you were the cousin of the curator of the establishment. You did janitorial tasks, including sometimes scraping the tanks, and occasionally you had to provide food for an exhibit. Even though interacting with animals or merfolk was not a common part of your job, there was one squid-man who had become quite friendly with you. Onyk.

Most of the squid type mermen shied away from human interaction, and really the aquarium as a whole, but not Onyk. He had always been a frequent visitor. A knowledgeable observer might even say it seemed that he had been hoping to find something there. The first few times he had gone had been out of pure curiosity about humans after hearing tales about them his entire life. But after his first couple of visits he was enthralled. Everything about the land walkers amazed him.

And then he met you and felt his heart flutter every single time he looked upon you. He frequently tried to engage you in conversation whenever he could and was always watching you, though often it was in secret. Onyk cherished your chats with him, he found you so interesting, even more so than he found other humans. He loved seeing you go about your tasks, it made him think of you cleaning his home as his mate while he went and got food for the two of you.

Of course if you had any say, that would never happen. Onyk, for some reason you couldn't quite place, creeped you out. No, it wasn't the head of tentacles he had in place of hair, nor the dark purple tentacles he had from the waist down, it wasn't his smile that showed off his dangerously sharp teeth, or his cyan blue eyes. No, it wasn't anything physical, just a weird energy he seemed to give off. Like a hungry animal hunting its prey.

You tried to be nice to Onyk, though you always tried to keep conversations brief and hurry on to other tasks that would take you out of his reach. Unfortunately he took your awkward stammers and clumsy rushing to zip away from him as you being extremely shy because you liked him. He sighed and stared at you longingly, head resting on his hands, as you rushed off once more. Clearly you were simply too embarrassed by your emotions to act rationally around him. Onyk had to find a way to get you to stop running off. As adorable as it was that you kept scampering off from your shyness you really needed to be closer to him.

Onyk had a brilliant, though simple, idea. It came to him right as you were in the middle of making another excuse to run away from him while the two of you were chatting in the beach area. He'd simply grab you. It wasn't the first thing he'd normally do, but you were just too prone to running off. It was more than obvious you needed him to make a firm and forceful first move.

"Well uh... it was nice seeing you again Onyk... but um... I gotta go check on the tide p-"

Onyk lunged at you suddenly with the speed and ferocity of lightning. He pulled you into the water and swiftly took you into the empty sea cave and sat you on the dry ground within. Yes, this would do perfectly for his purposes. It was a huge room that had an area for him to swim and enough space for you to run about and get exercise. This would make a lovely home for the two of you, he'd have to keep all the other merfolk out from now on but that wasn't an issue, they were respectful of claimed territory.

Once you caught your breath you were confused and angry at the sudden relocation.

"What the f-"

He interrupted you again, this time by pressing his hungry lips to yours in a passionate embrace. His long tongue slipped past your unsuspecting lips and explored every inch that it could reach. His saliva pooled in your mouth, claiming it. The offending muscle snaked down your throat before finally retreating as he broke the kiss, you struggled to find your breath once more.

"Heh, sorry for interrupting, I have just been waiting to kiss you for so long I couldn't hold back any longer!"

“What!? Why did you do that? Why did you bring me here!?”

“Well your shyness was making it hard for us to take things to the next step in our relationship, now you can’t let your nervousness get the better of you and make you run off!”

“Next step in our relationship? We have no relationship, you creep!”

“Don’t say that! Y-you just have the jitters because moving in is such a big step! Yeah, they’ll wear off soon I’m sure.”

“There won’t be a soon, I am going back to the beach!”

You started to head back to the water, but Onyk closed the distance between the two of you easily.

“But you can’t go! You’re just in denial and nervous, but you’ll love living with me, I promise. M-maybe I’m not moving too fast but too slow. That must be it, you must be all pent up and eager for my dick! So naughty~”

Onyk’s blush was evident even on his light blue skin. He swallowed your complaints in another deep kiss as he stood behind you and rubbed your crotch gently.

“We’ll do it in front of these cameras so everyone knows you’re mine now~”

And, indeed, the screens in the adults only section of the aquarium definitely picked up some viewers as the scene between you and Onyk unfolded.

Most mermen would have had trouble traversing land, but Onyk’s strong tentacles allowed him to maneuver easily enough. He peeled off your wet clothing and wrapped his arms tightly around your bare chest, rubbing and caressing you with greedy hands. His prehensile cock wrapped partially around your waist, held you close as it rubbed against you. At first you mistook the sensation for a tentacle before looking down and seeing it, the cock was tapered, icy blue and glowing at the tip, with the rest of it being dark purple.

Your shouts and screams were ignored as Onyk convinced himself they were just you being grumpy or maybe playing hard to get. The merman’s sharp teeth bit carefully at your tender neck as you squirmed. Most of his tentacles had wrapped around your legs, powerful suction cups firmly adhered them to you. They held you staunchly in place despite your best efforts to struggle.

The remaining two writhing appendages were busy with another task. They gently prodded and massaged your tight hole, slowly worming their way inside you. Your efforts to clench and keep them outside of you were rendered futile as they finally worked their way inside of you. They began thrusting in tandem back and forth within you, loosening you up well.

Your next attempt at protesting devolves into several lusty moans as he ministrations begin to elicit pleasure. It’s all the confirmation he needs that he has been right all along and definitely went about everything in the right way.

“Your mating sounds are so lovely,” he said as he nipped at your ear.

His tentacles suddenly withdrew from your lovingly stretched hole, leaving you involuntarily whimpering at the sudden removal.

“Awe, don’t worry, love. I have something far better to put into you~”

You snap out of it when you hear those words and feel his cock move itself from your waist and start wiggling against you in search of its target.

“What!? No, please do-oooh~ Aaah!”

When it found your entrance it deftly slithered right in. Much to your unwilling pleasure.

Onyk chuckled.

“I knew you just needed some good dick~ You feel soooo good. You were made for this!”

When you happened to look up at one of the cameras you blushed and looked down. The room that monitored the sea cave was now packed, everyone enjoying the sight. The aquarium was already at work recording with plans to put it on their website for sale.

You couldn’t help the lewd cacophony of noises that tumbled from your mouth as the thick slimy cock thrust back and forth inside of you.

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you!” Onyk chanted louder and louder until he slammed into you hard, filling you up with warm viscous semen at the same moment that you were shuddering from the strongest orgasm that you had ever experienced.

You were far too dazed and overstimulated to realize what was going on in that moment or what you were saying, but on autopilot you mumbled back what your brain thought it was supposed to when someone told you that they loved you.

“I l-love you too…”

Onyk was overjoyed to hear those words from his beloved human. He pulled out of you and laid down on the floor of the cave, pulling you close to him and resting your head on his chest. His webbed fingers gently caressed you as did both the tentacles that made up his "hair" and the ones below his waist. Cum slowly ebbed out of you and onto him but he didn't mind, the two of you would just get messy again the second you came to your senses. He nuzzled into your hair and gave you dozens of little kisses. Your mind was too blank and your body too exhausted to do anything but drool a bit on his chest while he cuddled you.

His head was swimming with all of the things the two of you would do together. Sharing meals, chatting, mating. He couldn’t wait to wrap his cock gently around your neck while at the same time plunging it down your throat and having that pretty mouth of yours suck it until he was feeding you his cum. Maybe the two of you could try it when you woke up.

Meanwhile onlookers on the viewing screens were putting away their cocks and slipping their fingers out of their pussies with the spectacle now over, but word soon spread and tourism was up over 300 percent! Scientists the world over were interested in documenting this rare species of merman having sexual relations with a human. Grants were given. A great raise and credit to your cousin, the curator.

It was even considered a diplomatic victory for merfolk and humans!

Everyone came to the consensus that on all fronts, but yours, it was far too beneficial and lucrative to make sure you had to permanently stay in the sea cave for the rest of your life with Onyk. At the very least they equipped the habitat with amenities like a proper bathroom, tv, video games, and human food. The sea cave area was also expanded, and you were afforded some privacy, except for most of the times that your “husband” Onyk was spilling his seed into you. That’s what people wanted to see.

[bamses-icke-korrekta-citat]

Gordon Ramsay: God fucking christ, what is wrong with these biscuits?

Bamse: Det är pepparkakor. Jag har bakat dem efter farmors recept.

Gordon knackar en papparkaksgubbe i Bamses köksvägg. Den solida stenen ger vika och lämnar ett litet hål.

Gordon Ramsay: Bloody hell, you could smash someone's skull in with this thing.

Bamse: Ingen blir snäll av stryk.

[who-dat-homeless]

If u think about it vulcan medicine is shit

Like. A real fucking horror, how did they even survived as a species, kind of medicine

I suspect (a fancy way of saying headcanon) that they have their medicine in a state it is because they never actually have a problem of

-Doc, I'm feeling bad

-What's wrong?

-Dunno tummy hurts

-Elaborate

-Ugh.. I dunno... Tummy... Hurts...

-What kind of pain???

-Ugh.......

-Okay, at least say where exactly it hurts

-Well.... U see... I... Dunno.....

Because they literally can mindmeld with you and just kind of find out on their own wtf is wrong with you + I feel like they're just culturally not prone to seek medical help, just kind of meditation their way out of the disease.

That way u have situations like

"yeah of course, just slap this motherfucker real bad to get him out of the coma, yeah. Inject adrenaline or adrenaline like substance to get the same reaction out of the body and keep the patient safe? Nonsense. Beat the shit out of him"

Or

"wow we're kind of transplanting the consciousness of this person back into their body, no we're not going to check his brain activity to see if its working, nor do we going to check him afterwards, it's just magic, get over it, nerd"

Or

"yeah this hormonal shit makes us go in heat that endangers everyone, but no, we won't study it and of course we won't try hormonal therapy, we'll just let them kill each other. No, we're fine, it's totally cool"

And other bullshit, meanwhile they're finest ingeneers, mathmeticans, phisicist etc etc in the galaxy

I love vulcans as a concept because the amount of bullshit they're pulling is cosmic

[delecttric]

🌍 everyplaces4free Follow

Diamantsholmen, near Where-No-Dragon-Goes-Hungry, Ice Kingdom

🟩 alchemical-sin Follow

greatest icewing architecture

🌫️ iceyspicey-deactivated49970701

this entire fucking site hates us so much. gå ad helvede til og spis lort din fanden intet liv ingen forældre PIKSUGENDE UVIDENDE SPILD AF LUFT

🟩 alchemical-sin Follow

whoa rødgrød med fløde cunt

[snowsays]

on my knees hands clasped together in front of me pleading for you to infodump about your fic in which vertina is jolie’s human wife

oh noo, I fear you're gonna be disappointed 😖😖 the fic is not about them 👉🏻👈🏻 im not even sure if they would have appeared

it's actually a sokeefe fic that consumed my brain for -checks notes- four whole days, in which I wrote 8.4k words. I got inspired by this AU. I have actually mentioned it a little before in this blog, I asked for headcanons on what each member of the gang would study/wear/like, because it's a human!college!au, and I actually made a pinterest board with fashion inspo for Biana, Sophie, Keefe and Fitz lmao (you can check it out here if you wanna) and a spotify playlist for Biana and Sophie like those you can make with a friend where spotify automatically fills it with music according to the tastes of each of you

so basically my general idea was that Sophie and Keefe meet at a party where they make out and then the next day they bump into each other at Everglen for spring break. I was writing it on the go bc I hadnt written fanfiction in 12 years (something got into my brain last year and I had an idea for an Eragon fanfic, wrote like a page then got busy, and now this one) so I only had a vague idea of what I wanted to happen which was: make out/have sex at party so its real awkward the next day at everglen (I basically got to this point before the brainrot stopped), couple nightly accidental meetups bc neither of them can sleep, talk about their trauma??, have sex again??, and that was it 😂

but me being me, I got really into making it make sense. So the ~Lore~ I came up with was:

The Reuwens adopted Sophie and Amy after the Fosters died in a fire (cuz we gotta keep it in theme right?)

Jolie lives, and is happily married with Vertina. Fuck Brady (didnt think too much about what happened to him, but maybe he couldve gone to jail?)

Jolie is an adult and out of the house ofc, she's still 15 years older than Sophie

The Reuwens have an animal sanctuary, I was thinking horse sanctuary also inspired by another fanfic I read (but that one was a Haikyuu one)

Sophie drives an old pick-up truck, and Biana has a Suzuki Vitara Live (which she got to spite Luzia Vacker, who is her great-aunt and very conservative. It was a compromise, Biana wanted a Ram pick-up bc Luzia was all "ladies should only drive small cars" but Della and Alden got her to accept the Suzuki) (< that was inspired by my own experience with a family friend who wanted me to sell him my Renault Sandero Stepway and he would give me a Chevrolet Spark bc it was "better for girls")

Foxfire is a college

Sophie, Biana and Stina are roommates. They rent an apartment together (they're in third year, Sophie transferred to Foxfire in second year and got placed as Biana's roommate, who wasnt happy bc she hadnt had one before, but they became friends after helping each other with classes stuff)

Likewise, Fitz, Keefe, Dex and (I was still deciding if) Tam live together in a house (it's Cassius')

Sophie and Biana dont like Stina and she doesnt like them either

Sophie ends up going with Biana to Fitz and Keefe's party bc Stina goaded her about being boring, and then also ends up in Keefe's room to spite Stina

Sophie and Stina are both studying to be veterinarians (the college situation is a mix of how I know american colleges work and how they work in my country)

Biana I was thinking fashion design and/or art. Keefe also art

Also I got an anon after I asked for hcs that mentioned poli-sci/law for Fitz but also culinary so I was thinking he started poli-sci/law at Alden's behest (like Alvar) but then changed majors to culinary. I was thinking to give him and Biana issues with parental expectations and all that (but probably not super detailed)

Dex's major was mechanical ingeneering, and also he and Biana are dating

Also the reason Sophie was spending spring break with Biana and not the Reuwens was that Jolie and Vertina were in their honeymoon, and Grady and Edaline got excited so Sophie and Amy convinced them to go on their own couples trip, and then Amy made plans with her roommate so Biana invited Sophie to Everglen

No one knew Keefe was gonna go too. I was thinking he had a fight with Cassius about the party the morning after so Fitz told him to just go to Everglen with him

and I think that was it. i'm sorry it wasnt more joliexvertina centric, I hope you enjoyed it anyway

[soelvfisk]

Jeg skal bruge en ægte plan

Ikke en naiv “det går nok” plan

Men en fucking radikal forandrings-plan

Jeg skal stoppe med at have kontakt med min far

Jeg skal ikke besøge dette hus fremadrettet

Mine oplevelser er mine. Hvis min mor tror mest på min far, så må jeg også give slip på hende. For hun kan ikke passe på os begge to og jeg er voksen selvom jeg stadig er hendes barn.

Jeg skal flytte - men jeg skal flytte endnu mere. Ny lejlighed er trin 1. Men skal også flytte igen - uden hjælp til skjult adresse - når jeg har skilt mig af med alle mine ting. Nødvendig hyperindependence. Fordi alternativet er at jeg er tvunget til underdanig taknemmelighed. At stå i evig gæld, som til hver en tid kan bruges imod mig.

Jeg er fanget i en ond loop af mistrivsel, som vedligeholdes af dem der passer på mig mens jeg ikke kan passe på mig selv. Jeg skal væk.

Jeg vil ikke have et synligt job - ingen skal kunne opsøge mig nogen steder. Overvejer ærligt at ændre navn. Jeg vil være en anden. Som ikke findes. Jeg vil ikke være til at komme i kontakt med. Jeg vil ikke være min fars datter. Vil ikke have hans efternavn. Vil ikke have hans DNA i mig. Den del kan jeg ikke ændre. Det væmmes jeg ved. Man behandler ikke sit barn sådan. Lille mig der fik muggen mad med i skole og skældud uanset om jeg spiste det eller ej. Som en magtdemonstration. Hans løgne. Han burde FUCKING SKAMME SIG. Og jo længere tid der går før jeg fjerner mig, jo længere tid går der hvor jeg implicit fortæller mig selv, at den adfærd er tilgivelig. At sådan må man gerne behandle mig. At det er den fremtid jeg har i vente. At jeg ikke fortjener bedre. Jeg går endnu mere i stykker, for jeg kan ikke flygte og jeg kan ikke gemme mig. Jeg kan hverken run eller hide. Men jeg vil begge dele.

Ville ønske de ikke kendte min nye adresse. Jeg er ikke længere deres at passe på. De skal lade mig være. Jeg er mere min egen end jeg er deres barn. I hvert fald mere end jeg er min fars barn.

Jeg skal væk.

Og jeg skal tale med min psyk om det her på onsdag. Jeg håber hun kan hjælpe mig. Og forstå mig. Hun har allerede forestlået at jeg holder 5 års pause fra ham. Men skal høre det mange gange før det føles som en ægte mulighed.

Skal samle mod.

[christineforevigt]

savner 10-årige christine som var stille, og som, da hendes udadvendte kusine spurgte hvad hendes yndlingssang var, sagde girl on fire af alicia keys <333 og som fik topmodel malebøger i gave og tegnede outfits på topmodellerne med førnævnte kusine<33 tegne i stilhed åhhh. fandt de gamle malebøger frem i mine forældres kælder for nogle dage siden(eller ved ikke, har ingen tidsfornemmmelse), og turde ikke kigge i dem. var bange for at mine drifter som 10-årig havde fået mig til at tegne big boobs og sexy outfits hehe. which is FORBIDDEN! får mig til at tænke på dengang jeg spillede sims 3 på langeland i min friskolevenindes(blev først venner med hende i 7-8. klasse, selvom vi begge gik på skolen fra børnehaveklassen)mors kærestes(nu ægtefælles!) hus, og vi skulle designe simmeren. vi skiftedes til at vælge næse, mund, tøj, ændre på simmerens krop(kom til at skrive sOmmerens krop, hvilket er lidt poetisk, men ved ikke hvad det skal betyde)og så videre. mens hun sad på den kæmpe stationære MAC computer, skulle jeg ligge ned med lukkede øjne, og omvendt. det skulle være en overraskelse for os begge, vi skulle lave denne simmer, dette computermenneske, sammen. jeg lavede megastore bryster på simmeren fordi jeg selv havde små bryster, min veninde derimod, hun ville gerne ændre det, hun lavede brysterne små igen, hun havde selv store bryster, eller i hvert fald større end mine. vi var 14 år. i dag er vi begge 25 år og har ikke rigtig kontakt. hun er forlovet med en fra vores friskoleklasse tror jeg, og jeg er på spd, og øver mig i at elske, også når jeg er sober. elske sober, det må være livsmålet. dømme ingen, ikke dømme sig selv, ikke tro at andre dømmer, det må også være livsmålet. at lade alle fysiske og mentale steder være steder hvor man er uendeligt velkommen.

føler jeg lige har skabt en hel ny skrivestil. fuck naturalisme og minimalisme, det er tiden til at skrive kludret og med masser af tilfældige paranteser og engelske ord og associationer

hvilket får mig til at tænke på at både mig og min mor elsker at lave stavefejl med vilje. ingen skal sige til os at vi skal være rigtige. ikke mere. der gik noget tid før også jeg lærte det.

alt afføder noget nyt, men man skal gøre noget for at føde det, føde livet.

[slafkovskys]

https://www.tumblr.com/norrisjosh/739278384345022464/when-petey-is-really-tired-or-intoxicated-he

🥹🥹🥹🥹

now imagine this but with nils

and his is a mixture of swedish and english- however he forgets you understand a little swedish so when you respond he always lights up like a golden retriever being called a good boy

AH

and imagine it’s a team event and he’s got you sat in his lap, arms looped around your waist, while his head rests in your neck. he starts speaking a mixture of english and swedish teases to you, and petey, who’s nearby, is appalled and is like “nils??”meanwhile nilsy just continues peppering your neck in kisses while he teases you with his words

-🎪

“har jag berättat hur bra du ser ut ikväll?” his lips are warm against your skin, a product of the alcohol that was flowing through his system, “so fucking good.”

“several times, nils. here, drink some water. we need to leave soon,” his hands squeeze your hips as you lean forward to grab the cup of water, “vad är det?”

“you understand me,” his face glows under the dim table lamp and you roll your eyes. his two beers and single cocktail seemed to have managed to eradicate his memory of the fact that you’ve been together for almost four years and yes, you’ve picked up some of his native language along the way. “jag kan inte vänta med att få hem dig.”

“nils,” you warn letting your eyes drift towards elias who was standing close by, “behave.”

“how can i? dress is short, jag slår vad om att jag kunde få dig att lösas upp på mina fingrar och ingen skulle veta,” you close your eyes as his fingers hook under the hem of your dress (which totally an appropriate length for a charity event, thank you) and you whimper as his finger traces the inside of your thigh, so close to where you knew you were starting to grow wet. he smirks, “min duktiga tjej. skulle du-”

“you two! not at the table,” elias whisper shouts and your cheeks burn at the realization that you had been caught. the older man turns his attention towards your boyfriend who was unrelenting, “nils, skaffa en bil och ta henne hem.”

“okay.”

very rough translations under the cut:

“har jag berättat hur bra du ser ut ikväll?” - “have I told you how good you look tonight?”

“vad är det?” - “what is it?”

“jag kan inte vänta med att få hem dig.” - “i can't wait to bring you home.”

“jag slår vad om att jag kunde få dig att lösas upp på mina fingrar och ingen skulle veta.” - “i bet that i could make you come undone on my fingers and no one would know.”

“min duktiga tjej. skulle du-” - “my good girl. would you-”

“skaffa en bil och ta henne hem.” - “get a car and take her home.”

[etfortabtsind]

JEG ER EN FUCKING TABER OG JEG ER SÅ FUCKING TRÆT AF DET

jeg er en mand i mine 20’ere, som opfører sig som et barn. jeg er en voksen mand, som knapt kan rejse mig fra sengen, og som skal tage tilløb til at redde den når jeg endeligt får rejst mig. hvor sølle er jeg ikke lige, når jeg kan ikke rengøre min egen lejlighed. mine altaner har lignet lort siden nytår, men jeg lukker mine øjne når jeg går forbi. jeg kan ikke vælge den sunde løsning over den nemme løsning. jeg er syg i flere uger af gangen, minimum en gang om måneden, og det er så pinligt. jeg går 300 skridt om dagen i gennemsnit, og ikke i længere ruter end ud til min bruser. jeg vasker først mit tøj, når kurven er overfyldt, og jeg bruger det forkerte vaskemiddel hvis jeg ikke har mere af det rigtige tilbage. jeg bestiller wolt fra meny, på trods af det vitterligt tager 30 sekunder at gå derned. jeg spiser kun en gang om dagen, hvis det overhovedet sker - og ikke hvis jeg skal løfte en finger. jeg drikker for lidt vand, og jeg sover for dårligt. jeg svarer for langsomt, og jeg ignorerer alle indtil jeg er nødsaget til at afvise - også dem jeg elsker. jeg skjuler mine hemmeligheder, især de største. jeg er alt for clingy, og jeg er pisse irriterende. jeg kommer for sent til de enkelte aftaler, som jeg ikke kan aflyse, fordi jeg er tvunget til at komme. jeg sover over mit vækkeur, og jeg ignorerer dine opkald. jeg finder på dårlige undskyldninger, som egentligt slet ikke er sande. jeg glemmer at hilse, og jeg dræber stemningen. jeg glemmer at købe hvad du bad mig om, og jeg har ikke fået hentet dine pakker, selvom jeg kørte lige forbi. jeg køber din fødselsdagsgave på dagen, eller bruger undskyldningen at den ikke nåede frem hvis jeg har glemt det.

jeg tjener en fandens masse penge, som jeg på ingen måde har fortjent, og jeg udnytter andre folks motivation - for så at bruge dem på dumme ting. jeg tanker først min bil, når nødlampen blinker, for jeg orker simpelthen ikke at holde ind i 3 minutter. jeg vejer alt for meget, og jeg dyrker ikke motion. jeg har ingen muskler, og jeg bilder mig selv ind at min krop bare er anderledes og ikke er i stand til at have dem. jeg ryger for mange cigaretter, og bruger det som undskyldning for at være træt. jeg stirrer ud i luften og tænker om natten, men bilder folk ind at jeg knokler når de spørger hvorfor jeg ser så træt ud. jeg lyver for alt og alle, og jeg er ikke til at stole på. jeg lader mit vasketøj ligge lidt for længe i vaskemaskinen, fordi jeg er for fucking doven til at hænge det op. jeg udskyder min frisør-tid, jeg plukker ikke mine øjenbryn og jeg møder op til tandlægen på den forkerte dato. jeg betaler mig ud af de mindste problemer, og bestikker dig til at gøre dumme ting. jeg lover guld og grønne skove, og leverer ikke andet end skuffelser. jeg er altid forkert på den, og jeg tager altid fejl. jeg gemmer mig bag forskellige brugernavne, og bruger min skærm som et skjold. jeg spiller alt for smart, og jeg har intet at have det i. jeg udskyder vores middag, fordi jeg ikke kunne orke at støvsuge i dag. jeg er bange for at snakke, og jeg fejer alle spørgsmål væk med et kort og simpelt svar. jeg tør ikke møde dine venner, og jeg tør ikke at ringe til lægen. jeg ryster når jeg møder op, og du vil altid føle at jeg ikke bryder mig om dig. jeg skriver mine tanker og følelser ned, fordi jeg ikke tør snakke om dem. jeg ødelægger mit liv, og jeg lader det gå ud over dig.

nok er nok. jeg er træt af at være en taber. jeg er fucking færdig.

[scaryscarecrows]

Antoine waits for Muldoon’s footsteps to die away before flinging the door to his room open, marching down the hall to Jimmy’s, and flinging himself onto the bed.

“I cannot believe,” he says dryly, “that you’re still using that one.”

“Nobody’s called me on it yet.” Jimmy pops his back. “God, this is the nicest weather we’ve seen in months.”

It really is. It’s humid, sure, but it’s warm and compared to Gotham especially, it’s gorgeous. Lush and green. That was probably the real reason Jimmy brought this to the boss’s attention, and likely a good chunk of the reason said boss agreed to it. On paper, this is some kind of zoo. A very hush-hush zoo, and one that leapt at their sterling security track record.

So that track record was fabricated. Shut up. They’re in, and they got in fast enough that nobody’s gotten much of a briefing apart from ‘we’re now zoo security’. Antoine has no idea why Jimmy and the boss deemed this place interesting, and he was happy enough to see the sun again that he really didn’t give a shit.

“So?” he goes. “We’re here to fuck up somebody’s day. What do they have? Illegal tigers, kidnapped baby elephants, what’s the deal?”

“I don’t know.”

The world comes to a screeching halt.

“You don’t know,” he says stupidly. “You’re shitting me.”

“Uh-uh. Ingen’s secretive as hell, man. Everything is referred to in code, and there’s a few encrypted files that refer to lawsuits and settlements for deaths, y’know? No idea what happened or anything. Nothing specified. Big payouts, that’s all I know, to keep everything hush-hush.”

Well, that explains why this place was deemed interesting. Jimmy hates not knowing things. So does the boss, for that matter.

“What the hell?”

“I told you guys this place was freaky.” He pulls a bag of Skittles out of his backpack, tears it open, and pours five of them into his mouth. “And Ingen’s got money for this place, big backers from Japan.”

Weird. But, honestly, so’s the building. The rooms are identical, which isn’t weird–very hotel, or cheap accommodations–but there’s bars hastily welded onto the windows and the doors are awfully sturdy, with heavy-duty electric locks. The windows themselves are made of thick glass, more like the kind you find in a security room than in living quarters, and Antoine will bet it’s bulletproof.

“What do you think they’re trying to keep out?”

Jimmy just grins.

“Don’t know.” He pours more Skittles into his mouth, chews them into one big, gross, rainbow-y gob, and swallows. “Let’s go see if the boss found something neat.”

The hallway is charmingly generic, with heavy use of beige and burgundy, but the carpet’s got…snags, in several areas. Couple of small holes here and there.

Huh.

Jason’s crawled half-under his bed with a blacklight. Riley squeezes between them, finger to his lips, and jumps, landing squarely on the squeaky mattress.

“Motherfuck!” Thud. “What the hell was that for?”

Riley just cackles and splays out, bouncing a few times while Jason crawls back out.

Mind your surroundings, he mocks. 

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

“Anything interesting?”

“Mm-hm. This room has new carpet.”

“And?”

“Look at this.” He leans out into the hallway and shines the blacklight on the carpet there. There’s spots. Not big ones, and not a lot, maybe five, leading into the room. “Blood. Something got in here, must’ve made a mess.”

“Something?”

“It’s a zoo. I’m guessing something.”

“Watch, this place is gonna be some serial killer’s private playground,” Jimmy cracks. Jason shrugs.

“Quiet weekend, then.” He rubs the back of his head and shoots Riley an annoyed glare. “Rogers, I want you to–” He freezes, head swiveling towards the hall. “Someone just walked in, be normal.”

“My love!” Jimmy sweeps Antoine quite literally off his feet. “I had no idea you felt the same way!”

“Get off!”

“We must marry at once.”

Antoine tries to squirm loose without snapping Jimmy’s fingers and promptly gets dropped on the carpet. Ugh. Cheap, scratchy carpet–what’s that up there?

The skylight’s got bars on it too, hastily welded on like on the windows.

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Both Ingwe and Finwe’s imploded marital problems

Finwe: *hears knocking on the door*

Finwe: *looks through the peephole* sigh *opens door* here to bitch about your marital problems, ingwe?

Ingwe, sweeping inside like he owns the place: finwe, i’ve been having marital problems since the day i got married. That ship has sailed at the point.

Ingwe: no, i’m here to finally yell at you for all the fuckups you caused throughout your life. *unrolls an extremely long scroll that goes out the door*

Ingwe: it would have only been the Miriel/indis debacle, but you’ve been avoiding me like a coward ever since you announced your courting, so now even more things have accumulated.

Finwe:

Finwe: your wife’s fucking your dad(ingen).

Ingwe, looking at finwe dryly: old news, finwe. If she willingly goes for that, then she has horrible taste.

[ghastlyfilters]

i decided to reread the jurassic park novel AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A FUCKIN LITTLE RAT JOHN HAMMOND IS

spare no expense my ass mf

(reminder that we’re not talking about the film, we’re talking about where this all began. and i have different views on both versions of hammond. i don’t particularly mind hammond in the movie though he was still at fault for quite a lot that happened. although he had a difference about him compared to the darkness of john hammond in the original novel.)

1. this man does not give a shit about the animals. no. EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ONLINE SOME WEBSITE OUT THERE ALWAYS DESCRIBES HIM AS “the greedy businessman” like yeah bro knew he was bound to earn that cash after you made the first official park for fucking dinosaurs (bad idea duh) but man.. what a cheapskate.. if you had the money to make the park look “presentable” you’d think he would pay his workers their fair amount. well.

2. WAS BLACKMAILING NEDRY REALLY THAT NECESSARY?? the man had set up national telephone lines, was quick with what he did, made a name for himself with how good he was, and hammond practically took the piss out of him.

dodgson was his last option in that situation, and yes even though it wasn’t the best of schemes, nedry went ahead with it.

hammond literally sees nedry as this fat slob but in reality, nedry had extreme potential with his job. the majority of hammond’s workers were payed utter peanuts. but seeing as nedry was the one in charge of creating the park’s systems, hell.. he really should have had his fair share.

and again, he was in CONTROL of designing security systems for the first park that contained living, breathing dinosaurs..

THAT’S A BIG DEAL.

but because he knew the lack of effort that was put into giving him his reward for literally doing what he was agreed to be paid for, there was no point in giving a shit anymore. he became sloppy for a reason.

hammond threatened to take this man to court if he didn’t get what he wanted 💀

and at the end of the day, nedry got his karma. but damn even that was brutal for someone such as nedry. to say he deserved that would be incredibly cruel.

but again, michael crichton’s novel showed no mercy for certain characters, which was actually a good touch to the storyline.

i don’t even think the intention for anyone to die when nedry continued out his plan was there? then again you let the dinos run loose.. what did you expect.. and of course he ended up getting himself killed..

novel nedry wasn’t the typical, greedy fat bastard everyone made him out to be. there WAS in fact a reason behind his actions. but if he were a handsome skinny man, the audience would be rooting for him, wouldn’t they? then they’d actually feel sorry. which is a bit shitty.

those like muldoon, arnold and the rest of them probably thought the same about nedry. but that’s because perhaps they unfortunately did not know the actual behaviour that went on between john hammond, ingen, and dennis nedry.

3. hammond in the novel had no filter like this man was cocky asf in front of anyone and everyone. whereas in the movie, you only saw hammond act unfairly to some behind closed doors.

BUT, the man went weeee rolling down the hill like a fucking easter egg, so as muldoon said and although this wasn’t about hammond..

“maybe there’s justice in the world after all.”