#fuck im in mourning
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vspin · 8 months ago
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Never forget what they took from us
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inkskinned · 22 days ago
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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spitefullyjewish · 4 months ago
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Okay, this is my third time trying to put this into words. I am very upset, hurt, and honestly terrified. I’m about to share a lot about myself, my family, and a very scary situation happening right now, so for my own safety, I won’t provide too many details.
I live in a secondary city in a South American country. The Jewish community here is very small—around 5,000 people total out of over 50 million. In my city, which has over 3 million people, there are only about 300 Jews. We’re literally on the other side of the world from Israel.
We own a family business, a small clothing factory where we make knitted garments. It was founded by my grandmother 48 years ago. My father is the current manager, and both my sister and I work there. We employ around 80 people. We pay fair and legal wages (not the industry standard in my country), and although times are really hard, we’ve never missed a payment, not once in our 48 years in business. My father paused his own salary and hasn’t received a cent since January, and my sister and I both stopped getting paid for three months. But the people who work with us have always received their salaries as they should.
Now, today, September 30th, (just a couple of days before the start of our high holidays and exactly one week before the first anniversary of October 7th) the biggest and most important public university in my city, in conjunction with the syndicate council, invited the Palestinian ambassador to give a conference about the current situation and the war. Well, apparently, it derailed into open antisemitism and ended up as a conference about how Jews are all thieves and scammers. Because, I kid you not, back in the '90s, a huge group of my country’s biggest companies went bankrupt and couldn’t pay their employees what they owed. One out of about 30 of those companies was owned by Jewish people. So, of course, "we Jews are all liars, scammers, and thieves, just like the Israelis—always trying to take what doesn’t belong to us"
So, what conclusion did they reach at this conference about Palestine and the current war happening on the other side of the world? Well, naturally, they decided to target Jewish-owned businesses in my city (which means our factory and two other small businesses in our area) to protest and vandalize, because we’re all thieves and scammers, and Israel is bad and horrible, and everyone in my city needs to be made aware of that. When are they planning to come? October 7th, of course, when else?
The only reason I even know about this is that one of my Jewish friends decided to attend the conference to hear from the Palestinian ambassador and, risking their own safety, stayed to hear the names of the businesses that are going to be targeted.
I'm hurt and scared and I've been trying not to cry since I found out. These are the people on the left, these we were supposed to be my people, I've marched with them, I've worked and voted with them. I don't know what to do? Please, please tell me how are they different from actual Nazis? How is this situation different from any other jew living in Europe in the 1930's? I guess shannah fucking tovah to me, as if last year wasn't a wake up call. I am fucking awake.
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clouvu · 6 months ago
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Desiderium
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commander-revan · 6 months ago
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I just don't understand this ending... In both of Horikoshi's previous serialized series the villains lived and got to reform and atone at the end.
Why was this series, which focused way fucking more on making the villains sympathetic and pointed out the ways they could have been saved if society or their families were different (and how one literally never had a chance in the first place), the series where they die or are locked away forever.
What happened?
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isacksteban · 8 months ago
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"carlos might go to williams" "someone save carlos" "alex and carlos might be teammates"
WHERE IS LOGAN GOING
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maplemaplemaplemaplemaple · 2 months ago
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watching the world disintegrate in front of you
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mrmeepsmadmind · 2 months ago
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bee's protective nature over anyone persists even as a ghost & i think he sometimes forgets or doesn't care that only star can see him (sadly no touch tho) & will start shouting & angrily try standing between people who are mad at starscream even tho he can't be seen, he just wants to try & help anyways bcs STOP IT >:(!! BE NICE !!!! cried the ghost no one can hear or see except for the poor guy getting yelled at & trying to overhear the conversation over bee's frantic rebuttals while trying to discreetly let bee know it's ok while ALSO trying not to look Insane .
continued attempt at a 4am drawn doodle comic below
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i might draw detailed later but yeah i just wanted to give yall this headcanon bcs i love starbee so much... the nagging wives finally finding their true loves... another nagging wife.
' you .. do know only i can hear and see you, unfortunately, right? or are you starting to go loopy, because i don't need another insane figure haunting me. I have enough already, as you can try and fail to imagine, little bee . '
' trust me, im Well aware .. of everything you just said . .. but i just. i couldn't just Stand there and do Nothing while someone talked to you like You were Nothing . that's not the autobot way. that's not- my way . '
' . . . '
#starbee#transformers#maccadam#tf idw#transformers idw#bumblebee#starscream#bee posting paragraphs of opinions no one cares abt to his new twitter after his old one got sniped#for telling megatron to offline himself#except no one gets notifs when he follows them except for starscream for some reason so#starscream is bee's only follower but bee keeps posting paragraphs abt anything anyways#' atp just dm me bee.' ' OPTIMUS. CaN YOU BELiEVE HE SAID THIS TO ME????? I CANNOT BE- ' optimus has never touched twitter in his life#jazz made and controls his twitter for him but no one knows bcs jazz uses it to roleplay as optimus and mourns bee being dead#bee keeps commenting hes not dead but jazzOptimus never gets the notification & hes rlly popular so rip bee#i love starbee bcs starbee is when theyre both cringe but free#when the foils meet and have fun the world burns but i am at peace bcs i love them so fking much#anyways um hiii if u guys see this and wanna be moots hiiiiii id love to be moots pls just comment hi or smthing#i need tf friends sobad#sorry for drawing bee like hes princess peach but im not bcs he is indeed my princess#he is my beautiful princess disorder#starscream social distancing from ppl & making ppl think hes an even bigger awkward jerk (he is) but rlly it's to give bee#space to stand between the conversators with his hands on his hips to exchange glares between the two#or just so starscream can see his opinions on the guy hes talking to better#'i think' 😾 that's a'😾 ' it's a gorgeous' 😾 i dont Like that Guy starscre'PLAN'#( um.. why are you shouting..) ' ...... NO.REASON. ' bee in a corner whistling somewhere#starscream grinding his fucking teeth#hes so fking annoyed at his ego being hampered by this hauntful creature but also it's so worth it to see bee be brought out of that#smiley ' lets go autobots!! yes sir optimus sir! ' shell he always puts on for everyone else so it brings starscream away from his#egotistical shell as well and they just both encourage growth from each other by being silly and cute and WAGHH TOGETHER#WAGHHH WAGHHH I LOVE STARBEE WRAGHHH!!!!!!!
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rowenwolf · 2 months ago
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Brandon Sanderson is a brilliant writer when it comes to world building, overarching intricate plots, and battles.
The one place where he seems to fall short? Interpersonal relationships. The bonds these characters make with others often seem superficial to me and lacking weight despite the meaning given to them
The one interpersonal relationship where that wasn't the case? Navani and Raboniel. Somehow Brando Sando wrote the GAYEST most supportive and interpersonal character driven plot between these two, full of support, awe, and literal connection through music and rhythms, and then RIPPED IT AWAY!!
Like okay we've had enough of good character interactions back to superficial waves at intimacy between people while we focus on the morality of battle and city planning instead.
Navani, Raboniel I'll never forget the doomed enemies science yuri you created together you were too powerful for this series
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whirlybirbs · 3 months ago
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“i’ve always liked the name violet.”
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iheartgirlzn · 2 months ago
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‘no one mourns the wicked’ but its regulus dying to destroy a horcrux and sirius thinking his brother died as a death eater. thinking regulus was exactly like their parents.
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uncaffeinatedbirb · 3 months ago
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In the next Act, I wanna see Jayce Talis sobbing his heart out. I want to see him kneel infront of Viktor's cold body and go absolutely insane. I want him to mutter apologies between nonsensicals. I also may want to see him carry that man's body away from bloody chaos outside. I also kinda want it to be slowmo, background music, and all that dramatic sht. or maybe just them. solemn. but just them...I know that this sounds stupid but I want anything other than Jayce fucking out of that place without tears in his eyes. I want the real Jayce Talis peaking through the insanity. I want the Jayce Talis who loved his friend to bleed through the cracks of the arcane's hold.
I want to see a glimpse of his devestation. I don't care if it is like two seconds short I just want him to sink to the ground and mourn the friend that he lost. the friend that he shot wit the tool that they created together to help other people, the people of Zaun...Viktor's people. the friend that he fucking pulled away from Death's cold grip with the thing he promised to destroy only for him to shoot him in the chest and take his life.
This may be a result of the things Jayce has seen during the time that the arcane comsumed him and Viktor may be reanimated or whatever but I just want to see Jayce mourn first.
this isn't what we meant when we thought Jayce will break Viktor's heart :((
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inkskinned · 2 years ago
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we really didn't get violent enough about roe v wade being overturned. but and also - you're one person. you donated money. you went to the protest. you did what you could, which felt like doing basically nothing.
recently some big paper published an op ed (why did you even read it? you knew you'd get upset) about how it's gross that men can't find a partner because women don't want to suffer bad dates - they'd rather go to yoga class. you actually laughed - well, yeah! and it was funny until it wasn't, because something about it made your stomach churn. this is the thing, you want to say, but you don't have the words for what the thing is. just that men being bad at dating is your fault.
the thing is also on instagram. you don't know if it's a setting or algorithm thing, but these days, the most hurtful comments always seem to skim the top. simple reaction is don't read the comments but - you're human, so you're curious. you want to respond to every weird, sanctimonious one with replaying something a million times to find evidence they're lying about their gender is literally sexual harassment you shouldn't be proud of this or maybe get a fucking life you absolute dickhead but you've gotten into enough of these battles as a kid. nothing ever resolves. it just makes you upset.
your father was radicalized. the thing is - you go to therapy about it and yet never find the words for exactly the way that one hurts.
the other day your sister predicted that a commercial that aired during the superbowl was going to cause trouble. you wanted her to be wrong about that. this morning, while scrolling, you saw someone post exactly that - he got so angry i had to leave. it was terrifying. it reminds you, however bleakly: there are entire swathes of people who do not worry about domestic violence. who have no idea why you would put keys into your fist. who do not understand "it's better to be rude than dead." who have never googled am i being gaslit.
the other day you found out there's a bill that would make it so if you have a uterus and are braindead, you could fulfil your cattle purpose and carry a fetus to term. you think about the fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant people is murder. you think about ongoing and informed consent. you think about how, out of fear, if your ex boyfriend had pressured you, you absolutely would have said yes to it. in the comments, you write there is no way that these documents wouldn't be immediately forged. this is going to be misused. and then just delete it, sighing. get up and go to work.
the other day they overturned roe v wade. we weren't nearly violent enough about it. somewhere, a clock is ticking. it's been ticking a long time. you want to say it's time, but it's been time for a while, hasn't it.
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pigswithwings · 1 year ago
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idk like. jesus did know his time was limited, but for how long did he know it? do you think he watched the sky before he went to sleep and knew it would be one of his last sunsets? did he reach out to the orange wavering sun as if to hold it in his hand? frowning when it didn't burn? did he bite into a fig during supper and cry at its sweetness? kneel down next to a dog running in the road and marvel at the existence of life, whisper to it "tomorrow is my last, please keep me in your mind"? did he try and stay up long past everyone else to savor the night, the light of the stars, the sound of the wind? maybe he longed. yearned. i think he wanted a lot of things very badly before he had the time to say it
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bouquetstatue · 5 months ago
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just finished kcod for the 3rd time
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touchmypixels · 6 months ago
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goodbye, bear :(
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