#fuck im crying now
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fuckfuckfuck I love my mother but oh god do I hate her and more importantly myself thanks to her
#im trying so hard not to cry right now bc sheāll get annoyed at me for making a ābig dramatic reactionā#but she fucking told me that I looked like I gained weight#and that I really needed to start losing some#and I checked the scale and she told me that usually at the end of the day I weigh a pound or two less than what I told her I weighed#itās the end of the day and ive been eating all loads of junk food from a beach day#I work so fucking hard to actually accepting that I need food and canāt just fucking restrict it#but she makes it so impossible to tolerate my body and to actually eat food when im hungry/crave something#I want to be able to eat like my skinnier friends#fuck im crying now#fuck#blippity blap
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^ yoichi and the kamado's scene was leaked
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the narcissist fools himself
#IM GETTING A BAD GRADE IN POLYSHO WEEK WHICH IS NORMAL TO FEAR AND POSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE.#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#polysho#polysho week 2024#tsukasa tenma#emu otori#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#domt scroll dowm to when i pisted the sketch a year ago actually. should i delete that#Nah who give a fuck#They dont need to know that i drew this over a year ago and touched it up c all of my other drawings for this theme sre too ambitious#I cant draw a fucking merrygoround. Who am i kidding.#I posted this now so i can stop adding minute gradient maps to it for a 0.2 percent color difference. must sleep. farewell.#more polysho week to come. the day 5 prompt.. well. heh#also FUCK i want to do day 4 too bc i love the yokai theme but thats Today and i AAAAAHG ok stop itz GOONIGHT.#funny drawing for the guy that turned romeo and juliet into fortnite. stop crying and hop on duos
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continuing that "maya tries to contact claire" post, i present you the post-Spirit of Justice follow-up
#post that caters to ME specifically#let me first tag#ghost trick spoilers#lost future spoilers#now that that's out of the way. you know who's on that suitcase ;)#also claire is fucked up by time travel shenanigans so it's possible let's just say#also ghost powers grow and change with time sooooo. let's play with canon#layton āi have a dead girlfriendā and yomiel āi had a dead girlfriendā bisexuals#also yes the whole gang traveled to london they're just strolling around#maya had unfinished business and now that she's more powerful she's BACK#this would take place 7-or-so years after lost future/plvspw so layton is in his mid-forties here. i had to look it so correct me if im not#also yes this is a crossover AU i have rotating in my mind i love the source material and layton's and claire whole thing no shade to that#powerful narrative that made me cry#but with aa and gt magic fuckery we have the technology#also about the jail bit. that's a fic i am writing (one sentence every month)#ghost trick#professor layton#ace attorney#my art#ms paint#GOD. that wall of text is surely something
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i drew this like a month ago and i am TERRIFIED to post anything on here but ive been convinced
#joshua graham#edward sallow#sallowgraham#im so fucking scared to post man i think i might actually cry#fallout new vegas#fallout#fnv#caesar fnv#fucking wild this thing has become my magnum opus.#im miserable#everyday i rethink the actions ive taken that have lead me to the point i am in life now#i feel like this is to blame for most of the bad things that have happened to me in the past few months#my legacy is nikocado sallowgraham#and i dont think i can ever recover from that.#my life is ruined. i am an artist forever haunted by his past.#anyway i still let out a giggle everytime i see someone reblog this again#i take it back i NO LONGER giggle whenever i see someone reblog this.#i hate it. this thing is a MONSTER.
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i need help with vet bills (again).
hi. for those of you who remember, earlier this year i asked for donations to help me afford toos' vet bills, who we found out through your help had kidney failure, and again with your help we got her on medication for it. unfortunately it wasn't enough, and we lost her. and then shortly after, dexter began deteriorating, which we put down to his grief of losing toos - she kept him young, he followed her everywhere, he only played because of her, he only ate when she ate, etc. without her he just stopped. and then he started to have seizures and fits daily. we got him blood tests, but he was suffering so badly. we made the decision to put him down. i didn't ask for donations this time, because i was so deeply embarrassed to ask for help again. but we are still recovering financially from that, as well as the parts of toos bills that didn't get covered from donations. my mother hasn't worked for a very long time, she's disabled and very sick, and she receives PIP from the government that only covers her monthly medications that are not covered by the NHS. my father retired early to become her full time carer, and we are living off his pension. i am too disabled to work, but because my mother already receives PIP and i live with them, the government are resistent to giving me any help - so i have zero income, and rely entirely on my parents.
this is jenny. she's a 14 year old cairn terrier, who loves when we garden because she wants to help dig holes. she helped us bury dexter and toos, digging their graves for them with my dads help. she's an angel, and loves people so much she likes to escape under the fence and join other families for awhile. one time she got into someones back garden and asked to come in as they were eating lunch. she really hates flies, and will try to bite them out of the air (she has never succeeded but i believe she will one day). she will rub her face against you until you start stroking her, and will growl and even bark if you stop! we don't have the money to take jenny to the vets, for a checkup or for anything they may want to do. this has been an ongoing issue, but toos and dexter took priority, and it hasn't been a bother to her. she existed as normal for a long time, but that's since changed.
jenny has this lump in her mouth, it is larger than the picture shows, but she is a nightmare to force open her mouth since this got so big, i think it's uncomfortable or painful for her. she can't properly close her lips now, and it has pushed all her front teeth away, misshaping her mouth, and sometimes it bleeds profusely. eating has become difficult for her, she can't eat anything hard, and currently will only eat soft human foods like rice, scrambled egg chopped up so small she doesn't have to chew, and things like soups and gravy. she's lost a lot of weight, and i'm getting frightened. to add onto it, i've found lumps like this across her body. i've done as much research as i can, and i believe it to be an oral tumor, it fits, and it looks right, and it spreading across her body is called 'full staging'. and going by all i've read - they will want to remove them in surgery. according to my research, this will cost anywhere from Ā£585 - Ā£4,740 for just the lump in her mouth. that's not including any checkup/test costs, or the other lumps on her body.
she hasn't been to the vet yet, i don't have any secure goal or bills to share, just my assumptions and beliefs from researching myself online. my parents refuse to take her because we can't afford it. i want to save up money, have it in my bank, and show them that we can help her now, before it gets worse, or it's too late. as i said before, i don't have any income, so the only way i can do this is with help.
here's a link to my paypal.me
the icon is a little mouse, and the @ is rivellon
i struggled so badly posting the first post like this for toos. i felt so guilty and embarrassed and ashamed. but i have no choice again, i want to help jenny. i don't want her to suffer. and selfishly, i can't handle losing another dog so soon. this year has been waking nightmare, and i need your help to stop it getting even worse.
please reblog and share, even if you can't donate.
thank you for reading.
#animal illness#animal sickness#pet illness#pet sickness#vet bills#vet help#i don't really know what to tag this as. i don't remember what i did before#and i don't want to go look for my toos post because it will hurt so bad to see it i think#im on hiatus because i cant deal with this and be here right now. but im gonna queue/schedule this a bit i think#im sorry for asking for help again. but please consider helping jenny. she's so lovely#and she's keeping me alive right now#losing toos and dexter ripped me to shreds and shes the only reason i havent completely broken down#i am absolutely terrified of what will happen if we lose her too#god i feel so fucking guilty. i can't stop fucking crying. i hate this so much#im so sorry guys. please reblog and consider donating even a tiny amount#tiny amounts add up yknow#anyway . i should post this now instead of hiding in the tags
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so my book of bill copy arrived
#notandvmp#art#shitpost#book of bill#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#billford#the book of bill#this fucking book man#buy it#buy bills book NOW#i wouldve drawn the hat too but i genuinely could not get it to look right#also i forgot how much i hate drawing faces#i think it came out decent enough though#but yeah the gravity falls autism? back in full swing like it never left#i thought i was emotionally moved on but no alex dropped these fucking bombshells and now hinting about āsummer returns 2026ā????#im not ready to cry over these characters for like the fourth fucking time i didnt consent to that
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im rereading dunmeshi and this one page really made me stop and think. we know that he could just teleport directly to where her body is and bisect & explode her instantly, and he would be fine. we know he knows he can do that from the bonus comic where he does that. but he doesnt
i think this is a choice and not an oversight. we find out in chapter 94 that this whole time, hes been throwing himself back into dungeon after dungeon - not so much because hes on a true quest for revenge, but because the only thing he has left that he wants in the whole entire world is to finish being eaten by the demon. no wants no needs no desires other than the singular, unstoppable drive to kill the demon or be killed trying. and he really REALLY wants to be killed trying, to the point where at the end, hes disappointed he survived (in not quite so many words, as the chapter tries to maintain some levity, but.)
i think he picks this impractical move that's failed in this exact way before because the act of violence itself is more important to him than success. he doesnt actually want to save the world. he just wants to put himself in that things mouth again
consider this alongside the previous time he tried this maneuver. we never see him carrying any weapons, he always has to improvise a knife even though hes so clearly a knife fighter. i think the canaries dont let him carry sharp objects for a reason
#sorry im gonna lie down & cry now. what does it say about me that i have been projecting onto him so fucking hard for years#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dunmeshi meta#rambles
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i think that if kabru saw that ālaios meeting falin for the first timeā strip heād be sobbing uncontrollably
#feels like it is SO fundamental to understanding laios on a deep level#idk something about not expecting ācommon senseā from babies#something about how he is so deeply laios. maybe im just projecting#but that comic resonates with me SO hard#the lack of expression (taking her in) and the way he looks up for permission#and by that time his father already knows? that hes looking for permission to leave. he doesnt say it. he just looks.#and then! he runs to his kitty! and whispers like its a secret! hes a big brother now kitty!#and he whispers to the chickens! heās got a little sister chickens! shes called falin doggies!#to see laios as an adult and to know he cares for his sister is par for the course#to see that he was enamored with her the second he met her and told all of his friends is just. fuck#they tell you many times in the series that these siblings care for each other above ALL ELSE#like knowing that all people die is separate from knowing there is no reality for either of them that doesnt contain their sibling#im going insane over the touden siblings#but i think kabru would go through these same motions and cry idk#dunmeshi#labru#if you squint#kabru of utaya#laios touden#falin touden#dungeon meshi#bumblysdumbly
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OMG YALL D WAS CRYING DURING THE FINALE OF TFO!!!!
what the FUCK Josh?? Why would you do this to me???
#they had d crying#so now I'm crying#im not ok#hes just a BOY#do y'all remember#how he smiled at Orion in act one#fuck off#transformers#maccadam#megatron#d 16#orion pax#megop#tfo#tfone
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james is very fascinated by muggle cameras. lily and regulus notice this of course and lily pitches an idea: to get james a camera for his birthday. they save up the money they need for a higher quality camera and wrap it up in a fancy box and present it to him on his birthday. the smile james gives them is worth every penny they spent.
they expected the obsession that came after. james took his camera everywhere, always taking pictures, not just of the the scenery or himself, but of his friends and family and most importantly of lily and regulus. what they didn't expect was that james had all of their photos printed and compiled them into an album, decorated it and drew little hearts and stars and flowers on it and wrote down little notes of what had happened the day the photos were taken. he revealed this album to them on their anniversary as a shared gift.
some of the many pictures james has taken of his lovers:
#regulus paints his lovers#lily writes poems about their beauty and love#and james photographs them#in a world where all three of them die in the first war these pieces are all harry has left#fuck i made it sad#remember the album hagrid gives harry in the first movie? yeah thats the album james made for them#loving someone so much you want to immortalize their beauty and existence <\3#im gonna go cry now#jegulily#jegulus#jily#regulily#james potter#lily evans#regulus black#marauders#marauders era
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He brought home a heat lamp.
#flat fuck friday#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt donnie#hamato donatello#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt leo#hamato leonardo#rottmnt michelangelo#rottmnt mikey#hamato michelangelo#rottmnt raphael#rottmnt raph#hamato raphael#turtle tots#rottmnt splinter#hamato yoshi#young dad yoshi#with many baby mutant ninja turtles#naptime interrupted by shenanigans#turtle tot pancake stack#bellyflop gone wrong#poor donnie got so squished he's so much flatter now#and when one baby starts crying you know the others are gonna start#dad to the rescue!#mischievousspooksart#omgthis took so long to make ive literally been working on it for weeks but im so happy with how it turned out i really hope yall like it!!
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boo lightmode procreate (nerokiri are my fav nephew niece and they go SHOPPING!!q!!q! they have 3 kids to feed!!!!!1! (and also dante devil,aycry! (kyries soup would win masterchef
#been getting less into layers lately and more into fuck around and find out#i should paint more to be honest i painted three pears the other day but anyway#dmc#devil may cry#dmc nero#dmc kyrie#nerokiri#duradraws#i was gonna post this to twitter but im not bothered to glaze it right now
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i want to know everything that makes you happy! š«šŖš
#the caption is aioi lyrics but posting the same thing with the same caption on 3 different socmed is embarasisng. saki save me#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#saki tenma#leo/need#i have more chibis Soon just theyre for halloween so u have to wait a few days. sniles so wide#AIOI IS SUCH A GOOD SONG AND NOBODY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IT IDGAF. ITS SO GOOD. START CRYING WITH ME#like obviously the mv is gorgeous and stunning andni love the event and cards but im talking sbout the song. Its so good#So is purpose and nobody talks about it either wtf guys HAPPY PURPOSE TUESDAY!!!!!!#pjsk radio in 6 hours who else is about to#explode MEEE MEEEE I AMMMMM machico save me#nene focus ohantom of Theopera PLEASE PLEAS EPLEASEPLEASE HOW MUST I MANIFEST.#i always mean to draw the songs i want wxs to cover ever since i only did 2 of them Half a fucking year ago but i keep forgetting#and then other groups cover the songs and im like Wlel i cant draw it now .. (i can) (i will still draw emukasa cat food)#mmjs cover is SO GOOD i love mmj all of their covers r so good. wasnt crazy abt their early game ones but All of them for the last 2 years#have been Bonkers. amen. minoshizu duet come back to us please god.#soo glad wxs got reincarnation apple and got all the parts i envisioned for them EMU IMLOVE YOUUUU#ok i gotta go i need to hot glue more fabric onto my cosplay boots before work tomorrow. love and peaches
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catboy tony. yeah sure why not
#dndads#tony collette#the peachyville horror#im crying dude this episode made me laugh harder than i have in a while#fucking ridiculous /pos#anyway needed to draw this#shoutout to whoever in the tag said tony should have cat eyes now#i saw it then when i refreshed i couldn't find it again </3#also cannot believe that so far ive only made shitpost art for s3#this will change eventually i promise i adore this season im just Lazy#my art
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dam wut we do now..
i love.. this lil guyā¦ i wanna put him in a lil grub wrap like a lil napsacks.. hes jus.. so small i love him hes so tinyy gfuckjgbmfnv no one understands yhe pure love i have for this tiny little grub
(terezi got puked on by him.. hashtag not my problem)
#homestuck#terezi pyrope#gamzee makara#karkat vantas#im reading paradox space andā¦ mother and grub hit me in my pusher#now im all#grub fever#fuck theyre so tiny and cute im gunna cry actually
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