#fuck i just. ive got too much to think about. it's always the fucking holidays.

[god-of-tyow-ken]

the first concepts i had too. the siggy is so funny looking

ok this is going at the bottom since i cant figure out how ot put it at the top

ok so um a while back when i was super into mo4 i made a little undertale au with kei.

i actually love the au even though its honestly not the most fleshed out and completed thing (mostly because theres alot thats hard to create equivilents with for both games) it made me wanna replay undertale again and im so glad i did because i hadnt fully played since i was much younger. it was honestly like playing for the first time because there was so much that i didnt quite understand when i was younger.

if u cant tell who i have solidly pinned down as who.. (or it just isnt in any of the art)

jack is frisk

sigkin is flowey/asriel (thats why i call his au counterpart siggy!)

jeraldy is chara

bachikin is asgore and adukin is toriel. #toxicdivorcedyuri

marikin and fusakin are sans and papyrus. if you know me you know i ship marifusa but for obvious reasons i dont ship them in this au lol. the dynamics just fit them perfectly

syumitaro is gaster

ive always thought of jungle as monster kid

kashikin as undyne

zakuro as temmie

kirimi as mettaton

koritora as grillby

taiyo as mad dummy

now. the one im most conflicted about is for alphys. i thought about having morikaze in the place of alphys, (in fact i did draw him there) because of the association with kirimi. but i honestly am not sure! i do not really like him !! really the only thing id be comfortable with doing for him is a complete rewrite of his character if i do put him in that spot because he is a creep lol. maybe kouhai would fit better? i think that would be kinda cute actually. ive also thought about otsukin because he doesnt have a role.

id love to use every character (that i like) but its hard assigning everyone a role. and also this au . fucks up established lore/relationships for undertale and mo4 alike. which really isnt an issue ? most of the time? except with the undyne and alphys thing because i dont want to erase their relationship from the au 😢😢

i actually just got an idea from that . arakawa as alphys . i might actually do that lol bc i ship arakashi.

but on the messing up established relationships thing . it also makes me have to completley make up some ? such as axez and kirimi having an association in this au .

also if you cant tell . i realy love jerady and sigkin in this au. theyre so sweet. (i do not ship them in this au. or in general. bc that ship grosses me out.) most of the au art ive done is of them 😭😭😭 i just love them so much .

ok! i think thats all. i hope you enjoy!!! i may actually draw more for this au after i make this post . have a good day and happy holidays!

(and if i find any more art ive made for this au ill add it on in a reblog later)

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

fuck my life

[watarfallar]

Does anyone here like this weird thing called "Desert Duo Incorrect Quotes?" No? Oh well. I'm running out so I'm giving as many as I can to you all. Enjoy it!

Scar: My hands are cold. Grian: Here, let me hold them. Scar: My lips are cold too. Grian: *covers Scar's mouth with their hand*

Grian: I want to kiss you. Scar, not paying attention: What? Grian: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Grian: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Scar: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Scar, to Grian: We had a date! Scar: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book*

Scar: I warned you. Scar: I'm perfect.

Grian: Please, Scar, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Grian: I’m sorry Scar. Grian: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Scar: It has to be done. Grian: Scar: Grian: Scar: *Places +4* Uno.

Scar: Are you packed for the trip? Grian: Yup. Scar: Then where are your bags? Grian: All I’m bringing is a good attitude and a sense of adventure. Scar: A change of underwear might be nice.

Grian: Just be careful, Scar! Scar: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Grian! Scar: It's everything around me that's careless.

Grian: *Gives a bouquet to Scar* Scar: You know I'm allergic. Grian: That's the point.

Scar: Your future self is talking shit about you right now. Grian: Jokes on them. I'll ruin their fucking life.

Scar: Who the fuck- Grian: Language! Scar: Whom the fuck- Grian: No.

Scar: Ha! What are you gonna do? Stab me? *Five minutes later* Scar, calling 911: HELP, IVE BEEN STABBED.

Grian, looking at the squad: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

Scar, handing a balloon to Grian: I have no soul. Have a good day! Grian, walking off: I don't have one either.

Scar: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Grian and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Grian.

Grian: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Scar. Grian: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for. Grian: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it. Scar: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either. Grian: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though. Scar: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it. Grian: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

Grian: Oh, fiddlesticks. Scar: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Grian: Heh, Scar sneezes like a girl. Scar: How about I pound you like boy? Scar: That didn’t come out right.

Grian: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived! Scar: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Grian? Grian: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market- *police sirens start to wail in the background* Scar: DID YOU ROB A BANK?! Grian: Oh, come on, Scar, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face* Scar: Grian: …it was a credit union.

Scar, turning to Grian: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.

Grian: *trying to get five seconds of sleep* Scar, poking Grian’s arm: Grian Grian. Grian. Grian. Grian: WHAT? Scar: …We’re out of Capri Suns—

Grian: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? Scar: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

Scar: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Grian? Grian: …Not really. Scar: Nothing? Grian: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.

Scar: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Grian: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Scar: Th-that's not how that works-

Scar: Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it. Grian: Go to church. Grian: WAIT—

Scar: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked? Grian: It’s just you.

[tomwaterbabies]

hi friend! how do you feel about treasure planet (and jim hawkins by association)

HELLOOO I LOVEEE TREASURE PLANET IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIES (<- PREDICTABLE)

it's got it all really..... parental issues. 2d animation. steampunk. the deep canvas system. seamless 3d hybrid techniques. steampunk. my favorite film composer. one of my favorite villains. one of my favorite animators. captain amelia. jim hawkins.

jim was a blueprint for me i think he really resonated with me more than any other disney character LOL. i was obsessed with jack sparrow for a while but that was more "omg i wanna be like him" (minus the alcoholism. and womanizing). jim though... jim was there and i was like... thats ME

ive wanted to get that queer ass haircut for years now but ive always chickened out for a multitude of reasons. i have it now though! kind of. my ponytail is higher up as opposed to his rat tail bc i wasnt doing that (i cut my own hair now anyways... i dont want to maintain something like that)

anyways

james newton howard is a Legend to me. he also did the music for atlantis which is, predictably, another favorite. but all his work i think is phenomenal. ive mentioned before but im kind of insane about instrumental music so this is just something i have strong opinions about lol. even his work on Bad Movies are still songs i really love. running on raindrops from Raya? so good (the movie... is not!). i have 12 years later on REPEAT. CONSTANTLY

and one of my favorite animators is sergio pablos who did work on dr. doppler. im obsessed with the movie klaus (i watch it every holiday season) and i was all for it the Moment they put out a teaser trailer bc i immediately recognized sergio pablos's style

like... look at this. Pure Excellence

i was gonna share more concept art n stuff but honestly i'll just credit scurviesdisneyblog for sharing a lot of that stuff. their treasure planet posts are Cool

i make it a point to emphasize my love of steampunk as much as possible and when i think about what my favorite steampunk movie is i almost always think of this one first. atlantis is always there too though. which is definitely embarrassing because theyre both disney movies but i PROMMY im not a normie i just genuinely think theyre so so good. um tezuka's metropolis is very good too. and castle in the sky. these are all family-centered animated movies fuck um 20,000 leagues is also so good thats another disney movie god dammit hold on

[raccoonfallsharder]

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟupdated 1/25 ❤︎

18+ only MDNI | rocket x f!oc | 26/27 chapters | wip| word count: pending. ♡ check the masterlist for expected updates ♡ ♡ see the "holiday special" ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ [new 12/5] ♡

girl falls first; racoon falls harder.

On the mornings after nights built on nightmares — nights when Rocket has spent hours haunted, or bitter, or weeping — there’s always something different than usual. If there’s sex, Rocket’s touch is lighter:  more careful. He makes Jolie come relentlessly, like he’s trying to make up for all of his own past hurts by filling her with more bliss than she can bear. There’s less teasing, and more ragged reverence. He might not call her names, but if he does, they sound holy: slut uttered in the same tone that someone else might say saint. He doesn’t let her touch him on those rotations, and he doesn’t come till he’s satisfied that she can’t possibly have another orgasm left in her.  If there isn’t sex, everything is the opposite. He’ll take whatever physical comfort she can think to give him: slow, soothing strokes along his back, full-body embraces, comforting kisses on his shoulders and face and chest and hands. One morning, as he lies on his stomach with his chin resting on folded forearms, she strokes his tail. He closes his eyes, and shudders, and melts, so she strokes it again and again, wrapping her fingers around the silky appendage and letting it run through her hand like a waterfall, over and over. They lay like that for a dozen-dozen minutes. Longer. But  the nightmares don’t come often anymore. Instead, most mornings are full of laughter or stories, and mocking, and tinkering and sketching, and cups of coffee that one of them brings down to share.  And yeah, of course, more sex. The Guardians take more jobs, make more units, save more people. Make more art — more versions of Rocket, more golden jump-points. Groot grows taller and lankier and somehow even moodier. Gamora and Pete grow more transparently in love. They all squabble and tease and fuck and fight. And whenever Rocket touches her, Jolie grows more certain that he does love her after all, even if he can’t say it.

[NEW 1/25]✧･ﾟ:*Chapter XXVI. The Other Side of the Window. in which old friends are reunited. ❤︎

i'm crying in fear of the final chapter update in like a week and a half. god i've put so much stupid love into this silly thing. thank you for all your support and for taking part in this with me so far. i truly could not be more grateful ~♡

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

General summary/notes + links to recently preceding chapters behind the cut.

let me know via comment, message, or ask if you'd like to be added or removed from my fanfic taglist ♡

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies).

let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units.in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. *in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which the galaxy continues to spin.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket ~discreetly~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. * in which both of our heroes learn a little bit about themselves.

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. ❤︎ in which old friends are reunited.

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. ❤︎❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆A Holiday Special *

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short/drabbly, silly fluff.

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @pretty-chips ♡ @suicidalshitstick ♡ @glow-autumz

[1d1195]

So I finally got around to reading protection and I thought it would be funny if I wrote down all my favorite parts bc I always wanna point them out, but I FORGET. It’s late and these are actually my live reactions bc im writing them in my notes as I read This will be long, this will probs be verryyy dumb (so if you don’t want to, pllsss don’t feel obligated to answer it, let it rot in your inbox😭)

The part where she’s like “hey niall! :D” and then switches up and yells at the supervisor 😭😭 AND NIALL IS JUST SHOOK BAHAHAHHA

Protocol. 

'He knew that she ended a lot of her doodles with little hearts'. As someone who always draws hearts every time I get my hand on a pen, I ADORE this little fact (there’s a statistic that says 56% of Americans write their first name when testing out a new pen, and I always say ‘well what’s the percentage of people who draw a heart cause it cant just be me’)

 Left covered in glitter and with a printed card that said Happy Holidays, but the L was a middle finger emoji. Funniest thing you’ve ever written actually. 

The whole codename talk OF COOURSE

protocol.

If he were my boyfriend this would be so controlling, I would be out of there in two seconds flat. Why am I liking all this? bc its harry duh, that man could throw me in the back of his trunk, leave me there for days, and I’d still be obsessed w him

It was next to impossible. She invaded his every thought. Like a little flower, a wildflower, poking through the cracks of his brain and growing where it shouldn’t.

Even if it was beautiful and lovely where it grew.

“I don’t care if y’don’t like me,” Harry knew that was a lie. He wanted her to like him so badly. unbelievably real, I get like this too harry dw

“Hate ‘em,” he nodded. She liked them. So, there was that; the olive theory would apply to them. THE OLIVE THEORY AWWWWWW

I was super psyched about the part where she cut her hand bc that literally happened to me today and ive got a huge gash & the napkins taped on me to prove it😭 (no harry to cheer me up tho smh🙄)

If I drank enough water, I would be too much for the world. She told him. I’d be unstoppable. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

he pressed his lips to her ear. “Is that why y’tense all the time? Just need t’come?” I SCREAMED

THE WHOLE SCENE AFTER THAT HELLO ???? DID YOU THINK THAT WAS OKAY ??? // tell everyone my cause of death was this: “Gonna listen t’me?” He asked. She nodded, gasping for air that didn't smell like Harry but enjoying that it did. “Say it,” he murmured. “For all the times y’didn’t.”

protocol !!!!!

Literally nothing abt chapter 7 because where the fuck would I even begin

Everything about chapter 8 was PERFECT I have no clue what you were worried about because girl I was HOOKED it was just PLOT PLOT PLOT the writing was AMAZING, the twists were AMAZING, her planning (or yours ig) AMAZINGGGGG, THE SHOOTING HER AS A DISTRACTION ????? HOLY FUCK

I will say tho, L harry cause I really wanted him to kill the dude😞

“Feel like this’ll be more paperwork for you. Just shoulda died,” ROLLING OVER IN MY GRAVE SHE’S SOOO FUCKING FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAH

cant believe u almost killing her was not enough for you LMFAOOOO

It wasn’t the time, but it was quite hot the way he held her trapped against her bed. She’s literally just a girl🎀

“What’s your favorite song?” She asked so innocently Harry could have cried. Your honor I LOVE her

I cannot believe that she literally got kidnapped AGAIN ???? BY HER FATHER ???? THIS POOR POOR GIRL

It was quite a humble moment for her. All those years of torturing agents and creating mountains of paperwork, building walls up so she didn’t even need protection...now they would probably let her die as the opportunity had presented itself. OUCH OUCH OUCHHHHHHHHHH

Harry’s gonna go gray before I finish this chapter

 He was strongly considering (and hoping) asking her if they could just put a chip in her. HAHAHAHAH as if. I will deadass settle for like a 200 hundred blurb JUST of that conversation between them

Diving into the chilly winter water, he hoped it wasn’t too late to save her again. This might be your most committed couple yet omg (no pun intended)

Ive never been happier to have not read a fic as you posted it because Samantha I SWEAR TO GOD this woulda drove me insane😭 IT DID DRIVE ME INSANE AND I WAS BINGE READING (I would’ve turned gray faster than harry)

“The hell is that?” He mumbled trying to make sense of the monstrosity on her lap. PFFTTTTTT love that crocheting is a styles’ family thing in this bc yes absolutely. im just picturing lil harry staying up late watching videos online to try to learn so he could be better than Gemma

im ADORING his constant worrying abt her getting a headache😭 its the sweetest thing ever

It was a crochet kit: a beginner's book, a set of hooks, and three different colored yarns. SHUT UPPPPP ITS AN INITIATION AHHHHH

“We’re gonna have to cope the way we need to. I will be my usual, hilarious self. And you can be mopey.” She’s literally me thank uuuu

The whole scene?? Youre my whole heart, completely exposed to the world ???? RIP me, rest in peace me, I. Died. Dead. 

“Wildflower, definitely wildflower.” 10 dead. 29 injured. ahhHHHHHHHH

Girl I am soooo sorry and like I said you absolutely don’t have to reply I just thought this would be fun and it might make you smile, also u deserve to know just how greatly appreciated your writing is, every bit of it <3

~🎶

So I truly enjoy everything I write (except Love and Dryer Sheets). I know inherently that Traditional is more popular but I think if I had to pick a favorite, Protection is by far my favorite story. I guess if I had to qualify maybe my favorite of 2023 at least. Idk what it was about it, I just loved writing every moment of it, I enjoyed my weird little dialogues and the silly little inside jokes. I thought the MC was really strong and wonderful--I aspire to be like her, ya know? Writing Harry's parts is always fun too but I think Protection Harry is the mushiest but shyest of them (probs because of his job) so getting him to open up to her was really fun to write too. idk.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY this is quite possibly the sweetest and nicest thing anyone has done for one of my stories. I love this so so so so so much. There are so many parts you pointed out that I cared SO deeply for that didn't necessarily get pointed out when I originally wrote it. It was so sweet to read them again from someone else's perspective. I probs won't catch everything but please know that I got this from you at 5 in the morning yesterday and I have read it no less than 100 times because I'm so honored that you enjoyed it enough to take notes 😭😭 and every single one made me SO happy and smiley.

I just read about the statistic about writing your name when handed a pen in a book I was reading! I bet the heart thing is a pretty cool stat too (whatever it is!).

PUTTING ME IN A TRUNK SAME.

nothing about part 7 I'm screaming 😂

I've mentioned it in another ask but when I write suspenseful things I already know where the suspense is leading so I just get super in my head about it because I think it's obvious about where it's leading?

You have ignited a new extra regarding putting a tracking chip in her 🤭

she is really funny tbh hehehehehe I like to believe I'm funny too because I like to think that's how I would react to a lot of these scenarios.

she IS just a girl (and she really just wants to get railed by Harry quite frankly. I think she deserves it lol she's been through a lot)

Almost killing her was the main part the kidnapping was extra because I was like "Aw crap, I forgot to tie up the daddy issues line" whoops hahahahahahaha

Idk if they crochet, I hope they do. I just needed something that siblings could argue over. I would kill to know what the sibling dynamic is between Harry and Gemma. It's gotta be hilarious.

I think Harry is going to worry about her the rest of his life and you're so right, he would go gray because of her hehehehehe

SAMANTHA hahahahahahaha I was thinking you would have hated to read this as I was writing it lol

10 dead 29 injured 😭💕 - I think most endings of my stories suck but again, I love this story so much, I humbly think I did a better job on this one 💕

in general the bullets where you quoted some of what I wrote was really sweet too. The part about not getting help because of how she treated them, the olive theory, the part about water, harry wanting her to like him, etc. etc. That really means so much to me that it seemed worth pointing out again 😭 thank you thank you thank you.

If there was anything I didn't reply to, it wasn't intentional, I just know this is the longest ask ever and I love it so much but I feel like it's going to continue forever if I don't stop 😭💕💕

YOU ARE THE BEST THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! IT'S SO WONDERFUL 💕

xoxo

[gayspock]

okay girlies trek movie marathon ahead go go go we're starting with the final frontier

so to set the mood its 10am and i have hot cocoa (fancy one i got for chrismas + marshmallows (vegan ones i got for chrismas)

goodness fucking gracious they really put the budget into this one again didnt they. i mean i know they do for the trek movies in general in comparison to the shows but fuck me this feels like a step up even from tvh

okay girlie pops lets do therapy in the desert . practice mindfulness with me really think about the sand on your feet ow hot hot hot

i wish someone would do this to me to be honest i take the piss but cant some beardy vulcan cunt come up to me and chat about starships and the whatnot

ISNT THIS SYBOK BTW. spocks first retroactively added sibling. btw i wont share how much i hate that fucking choice in so many ways and how theyve done it fucking twice n- sorry seeing red breathe deep. hesgot a good presence t-

AHRHGHGH OGUGHHFHFUAHDHHGF FUCK I FORGOT THE TREK THEME DOOO DODODOOO DOOOD OOO MY PUSSSYYYYYYYYYY SOAKEDDDDDDDDD SHES MAKING THE SAME NOISE SH oh christ i took that one too farback up back up

i sometimes think theres no way ppl read these lbs but if theres one person there hi the credits are rolling

guys the hot cocoa is making my tummy hurt btw but that might also be okay so i got this vegan kebab meat and i didnt know you meant to cook it so i ate the whole pack raw and it was already expired but its like vegan so it cant like be like meat levels of insanity right..... right like im not getting worms am i its. uhm. whatever guys hesclimbing

wheres he going .

dude

th

I SAW CLIPS OF KIRK CLIMBING UP THIS BIG FUCK OFF MOUNTAIN BEFORE AND I KNEW BILLY SHITSTER PUT THIS IN TO WANK HIMSELF OFF BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A PLOT RELEVANT SCENE WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CUNT IS JUST DOING IT FOR THE JOKES

THERES NO WAY THIS IS SO FUNNY . KIRK COME BACK DOWN FROM THERE

hi bones- OH MY GODDDDD HIS CUTE LITTLE JACKET HES SO CUTEEEEEEAND HIS LITTLE SCARFFFFF

PUT THIS CUNT RIGHT ONTO YOUR PINTEREST BOARDS LADY HES-

okay ffucking hell the way william shatner still says "spock" i forgot it was like that

"1200 points of interest in yosemite and you pick me" right i forgot they were like that

his spoots.........

that made me laugh i wont even lie the way the cunt just feel

can we get a close up on the dancer cat woman please just for uhm my own . purposes interests i dont - OH HERE WE GO- THREE TITS?

WHOS THIS GIRLBOSS

CAITLYN KATELYN KAITLYN whichever its spelled- also romulan??? i assume that there's been some cultural mingling but imagine if you met a fucking cunt from mars called Sarah.

anyway shes beautiful as hell . for what reason.

seriously the dusty desert planet in scifi they all look the same its so funny

right the prblem is syboks actor is charming as all hell. fucking divert that smoldering gaze i feel fucking weird as hell

OUGHHH SCOTTYYYYYY HII BABYYYYY CAKESOUGHGHH HI ENTERPRISE OHHHHH HIIII UHURAAAA

oh my god she looks so good she LOOKS SO GOOD ... ahh nichelle 3: ... shes got such a good onscreen presence though man HELL its a shame they didnt utilise her more earlier

okay so they decided to put them together i forgot about that im not mad i gues

sulu and chekov hi guys theyre just vibing in the woods HI GUYS SORRY IM NOT IMMUNE TO NOSTALGI AND SEEING MY FAVOURITE GUYS

GUYSSSSS CAN WE ALL BE NICIESSSSS

"ive always known i'll die alone" ALRIGHT GIRL...

this is actually so cute i wont even lie im not endeared im not (is endeared) theyre on freaking holiday together

MARSHMELLON

SPOCK THEY ARENT VEGETARIAN

except for mineeeee that i have om nom nom

afterthe ritual camp sing along we all have insane freaky gay sex onscreen for the rest of the movie. its normal. it would also be less gay than them singng row row your boat like this

im absolutely ctazy for the sfx in this movie like it feels like half of them are pretty solid but theres just random bits that look so janky this is exactly how i want my star trek i wont even lie to you

also i cant tell if this klingon part is meant to have subtitles or not

ok i found the script online + im following along iwth that LOL ... i guess it makes SENSE why the actual subtitles arent like on the video itself but its still funny

sorry to be crass but i know someone somewhere has edited this to say spock (goes off to do that)

the way it takes me 10 million years to watch a movie you have to understand theres sidequests in every movie for me to do

GOD....

THE UNIFORM JACKET WITH THE JEANS THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME. ABSOLUTE SLAG MOVES. COME ON SERVE ME CAKE CASUAL STYLE

i love it when the enterprise is busted to be honest its so good i hate functional ships i love it when theyre breaking- fuck me i wanna relisten to wolf 359

i already know the plot twist of that being his brother but its very fucking funny nonetheless that spock just sees his broth-

UI WASL

I WASLITERALLY JUSY ABOUT TO SAY THAT ITS VERY FUNNY WHEN SPOCK SEES HIS BROTHER AND IS DEAD SILENT LIKE "THATS SO ME AND MY BROTHER WE DONT NEED TO TALK LIKE THAT"

AND THEN MY BROTHER DEAD SILENT PUSHES A BIRTHDAY CARD UNDER MY DOOR. THROIWING UP. COSMIC TIMING THANKS BUD

by the way ive actually heard a lot of bad things about this movie and im absolutely agreed that this is corny as fuck but frankly when it comes to tos movies... im actually on board if its corny, even if the story might suck in the end. i mean granted- im hardly into the meat-meat of the movie yet. i dont doubt people slate it for NOTHING, and i presume i'll understand the problems better the more i watch (after all i am already kind of irritated with syboks existence even if i do quite like the actors vibe) but its like... hm how do i put this...

im not actually ever against, like, "nostalgia bait" stuff , i guess, and having fun with things if its kinda a) self aware enough and b) well earned. does that make sense? if it isnt taking itself too seriously and bigging itself up in a dramatic way, AND there's a solid foundation to actually have fun with then im okay with a movie that kind of only spins on the funnier, more casual moments and is somewhat self-indulgent in terms of how it panders to fans with, like, showing them all having fun camping .

the issue for me is when its either, as i said, unearned or trying to take itself too seriously... or maybe, like, when it does veer too close to flanderisation or even just spinning the wheels on the characters. its why i think a lot of chibnall doctor who doesnt realyl work when its trying tobe "fun" or "goof off with the fam" like... you guys never really did the legwork to establish these characters well enough to have that, you know?

and im not saying tos has marvellous character work- we can be honest, and say that outside of the triumvirate theyre all over the place- but i do think theyre solid enough to crry and im well okay with that yeah?

and anyway thats all to say. ive known too many pretentious types disavow all sorts of media that does kind of act a bit self-indulgent or does something fun/stupid and i dont know man i do agree in many ways but also, like, entertainment is sometimes meant to be entertaining and its hardly the worst ever if a star trek movie just fucks about a bit instead of doing some epic space opera every single time, nor does it ruin the entire franchise or work that came before it. its why i really fucking rate the voyage home- because it lets itself take the time, take the breather after the other three movies. like i understand if it does purposefully undermine something else but like... i dont know i feel like some people ironically have such a shallow mindset sometimes where theyre likt, fucking hell, its the death of all media because they were silly 1 time and did something a bit funny/had fun (esp if it isnt just to their tasts)

(adnd yeah its also like... i dont know you know osme ppl who seem to have 0 media awareness in terms of like.. yeah man you can wax pretentious gobshite all you want but also its star trek man and thats not to belittle the franchise in any way but also manage expectations of what youre going to be consuming AND also realise that its not BAD that not everything is, like, you know some high calibre art and that actually that diversity in art is kinda better for your media diet tbh like they all serve a diff purpose like- you know so unrelated its also like im sorry it reminds me of all the discourse around knives out and the such and people not taking that movie into context and whatever the fuck or ALSO how im watching bsg lright now and i know im tempering my expectations interms of what that will deliver, what it will do and even further than that the actual politics)

( BC THAT ALSOOO is a whole other thing im so off topic here where its like im obbiously not talking about genuinely harmful media here but ive seen some ppl online kind of assume that media has to cater to their exact political alignment or else it isnt good and its like i absolutely agree you can analyse/dissect that and with bsg i do sort of like look at it and think well are we being serious with what we're doing here but also like eh shrug its kinda weird when you go in with the intention that apiece of art has to come to your exact own personal conclusions about the world by the end of it do you know what i mean . like i dont even mean tht in terms of like.. trying to defend things, but i mean that in terms of your own personal growth and open mindedness and appreciation for others' worldvew... anyways im so off topic im so so off topic this is literally the final fontirer 1989 here)

anyway im like

IM THE WORST IM RAMBLING LIKE THIS WHEN IVE BATRELY WATCHED THE MOVIE BC LOL #ANNOYING WHEN THIS ISNT EVEN RELATEDDDDDD

my point is i feel like what ive seen so faris kinda fun and the dialogue though corny and whatnot has made me smile enough that i feel like if this is gonna be sustained throughout im not gonna be mad if the overall plot does suck which idk is contrary to what i thought before i started bc ive heard such bad things about this one

which hey i guess theres other stuff behind that too because going back to that self-indulgent part.... it is obvious billy shits is, as i said, having a long self pleasure session . i also know theres other problems there tbh too-yeah...

ANYWAYS

can someone edit in them kicking their legs and giggling 👆

OK I SAID ALL I SAID ABOVE BUT THE UHURA SCENE WAS THAT ONE NECESSAY GUYSSSSSSS

also my god i eed to stop pausing ive been watching for almost 2 hours and im 40 minutes in thats so fucking funny

sybok: "ok but dude i didnt want anyone to dieeeee i was joking"DUDE PLEASE

the catgirl is feral i repeat the catgirl is feral

oh so it turns out the hostages are rather cheeky

WHY DID THEY HAVE TO CHANGE THEM OUT OF THEIR GOOD OUTFITS UGHHH BOOOOOO LOSERS BOOOO at least sybok is slaying does he have long hair? i do like that; i do appreciate that

"which will take...?" "exactly 15.5 seconds" "AN ETERNITY, DURING WHICH-"

I GET WHAT THEY MEAN BUT LOL

can i also say i think i said this when watching bsg but i love how many scifi ships have a lets fuck off really fast mode. its so fuckinh funny.

YHE GIRLS ARE FIGHTTIGNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG

"PICK IT UP" I LIKE HOW HE HAD TO BE TOLD.

AND SYBOK IS LIKE BE SERIOUS I KNOW YOU ARENT GOING TO D- SHOOT HIM? KIRK. BE SERIOUS . HE WONT DO THAT

KIRK YOU BEST NOT BE GOING INTO A STROP LEAVE SPOCK ALONE WILL E VERYONE LEAVE SPOCK THE FUCK ALONE

can i also say . sarek is a right fucking whore. how many wives did he have . like after amanda how many human women did he go through exactly

okay so round about this point i got distracted for another half fucking hour guys its so ufnny how long it takes me to watxh movies

THE WAY THEY JUST KNOCKED SCOTTY OUT. COME ON GUYS HELP

jim being tired climbing up when he literally beasted that mountain come on behave

THE SPOOTS ARE MAKING ME GIGGLE SO BADLY sorry.

the way they all got on together.... please... i will say BOTH times ive expected spock to straight up bridal carry kirk somehow

also i will say god . throwback to pk wars; im still laughing at how farscape presented the eidelons as, like, the answer to peace when its literally brainwashing just like this and its totally unacknowledged. anyways

WHY ARE WE GIVING BONES DADDY ISSUES

THIS IS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY

IM UNDERSTANDING MORE WHY THIS MOVIE IS DRAGGED BUT I CANT EVEN HATE IT ITS FUNNY TO ME BONES WE'RE GIVING YOU THERAPY TONIGHT

its so funny with bones they just give some random horrors to him whenever the fuck you know and then its never brought up again god love god bless

sarek can be so....

sarek can be so funny im sorry i know this isnt the time im watching him reject infant spock but do you remember in tng when he and picard were... well... they were well acquainted pen pals werent they if you understand me . its like hes a whore . hes a terrible father. hes like the worst. but hes kinda funny sometimes.

OKAY SPOCK SLAYED THAT GET HIS ASS

BONES LOYAL TO THE BESTIES

igotdistractedgaian guys btw this is so bd its like 1pm i started this at 10am but do you know what i need some new shoesso i needed to go find some and research do you know what i mean

i focus now i focus

THE GANG MEETS GOD. WHY NOT.

i always find it outrageously funny whenever they meet god or go to eden in sci fi . beyond hysterical. why not guys hes just been chilling somewhere why not babes .

KIRK BEING LIKE EXCUSE ME ☝️🤨...?

SORRY THATS SO FUNNY . HEY GOD. EXCUSIES. SCUSIES. [GETS HIS TITS BLASTED OFF]

thats funny as fuck

AGAIN IM SEEING MORE AND MORE WHY THIS IS CLOWNED ON THIS IS RANDOM AS ALL HELL BUT ITS FUNNY AND SO INCOHERENT AND THE PACING IS ALL OVER . GOD BLESS THIS MESS

"but captain we're firing directly on your position" can you have a little fucking fun for once chekov light it up bitch

HE SAID OOIEEE YEOWCH

woah he said damn... he said damnnnn

are you about to say sorryyyyyyyyyy

THATS SO FUNNY

THE KLINGON GUY JSUST SAID SOWWWWYYYY I WONT DO IT AGAIN BWAA..... THATSSO FUCKING FUNNY

GOD

YOU WERE NEVER ALONE... DUMBASSS.

PLEASE CAPTAIN. NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS FUCKING HELL. GAY ASS

"i lost a brother once. i was lucky i got him bakc" you guys remember when kirk actually lost his brother like hsi real life brother who died

OUGHGHH OH MY GOD THEIR OUTFITS BY THE CAMPFIRE YESSSSSSSSS

CANT WE GET JUST A MOVIE OF THEM CAMPING SORRY THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE MOVIE LIKE THE REST OF IT WAS DEAD BUT I RATE IT FOR ROW ROW YOUR BOAT

HELP...

OKAY THATS OVER

SALUTATIONS I NEED TO TAKE ABREATHER BUT THEN WE'RE ONTO UNCANNY COUNTY

[pmbueckers]

— for evermore

01 ‘tis the damn season

⌞and it always leads to you in my hometown⌝ – taylor swift ⋆⁺₊❅.

pairing – paige bueckers x fem oc!dorothea greene

summary – they’ve been at it since highschool, this back and forth, but what happens if and when paige and thea finally realize this hometown situationship might be worth something more?

word count – 3.7k

warnings – idgaf abt punctuation, language

links – masterlist , series masterlist

authors note – find all the information abt this fic with the link above! tried my very best to line it up with the ttds lyrics but giving it my own twist/meaning. it makes sense to me but thats coming from a chronic swiftie so idk if its gonna be confusing for others or not.. pls lmk but be nice lol

dorothea greene pov, december 2023

if i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone i would have asked you 

its been three years since we graduated and no matter how much i told myself the throwing of our caps in the air was it, the symbolic end, i knew myself better than that. i knew her better. i knew us better.

because you can never truly escape paige bueckers.

shes like vines, and once youre in, youre in.

im going home tonight, to celebrate the holidays with my family and hometown friends, but the odds that i dont see her are slim to none. and shes all i can think about as im trying to pack. everything im throwing in my bag, a reminder of her. the shoes she got me for my birthday years ago, my favorite t shirt to sleep in that may or may not be hers. even what im wearing to the goddamn airport, a sweatsuit i bought at the mall of america with her, and a necklace she gave to me before we graduated that i cant muster the strength to give up.

i know i dont mean anything to her anymore, honestly i dont know if i even meant that much to her back then, but i cant help but be conflicted myself, why is it the whole year im fine, “cured” of paige bueckers, but the second it hits december and i know snow is falling back home, i need to be back in hopkins wrapped up in her arms? she probably has someone else by now. no, she definitely has someone else by now. this shouldnt be so hard. i just need to go back home, and not get drawn back in. easier said than done.

im loading all my things into my car, this car, damn we did it in her car too didnt we? see, what did i say? constant. reminders.

its the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass but i felt it when i passed you 

fuck, “snap out of it” i murmur to myself over and over while loading my bags. its not too many bags so im just piling them into my passenger seat as im paying to keep my car parked at the airport while im gone.

i head back up to my apartment to lock it up then im pulling out of my places parking ramp and am on the freeway to the airport, a peaceful car ride, that is till i get a notification that makes my heart jump and car nearly swerve off the road. and i know its abt to begin, im abt to fall back in, but i cant help it.

paige bueckers

Hey

Whats your break schedule

read 6:21 pm

dorothea greene

hi.

ive got the next four weeks of classes off but im only going to be home for abt two.

deciding to only stay home for about two weeks to minimize the amount of damage i can do involving her, but i decide to keep that part out.

Cool

When’s your flight?

in two hours actually

im on the road rn

Don’t crash pls

I prefer you alive

i roll my eyes and let out a little snicker, thankful she cant hear, but typical paige having to sneak at least something in. im glancing up and down from my phone to the road, dont text and drive is repeating in my head in my moms voice, but its paige. the exact reason why im afraid to go home.

funny

Its the truth

So your landing in 6 hrs then?

At 12?

nice math

Alr alr chill 😂

How you getting home from the airport its gonna be late

Prolly like 1 am

yeah ik

thats what ubers are for paige

Nah uh no way

What if its a creep

I’ll come get you

no

i cant ask u to do that

u wont get home till like two

(a lie, im overestimating, but i really wasnt intenting on seeing paige this early on my trip back home.)

U aint askin im offering

Plus I want to

hm yeah right why is that paige

Aint it obvious comon

I miss you Thea.

read 6:43

theres an ache in you put there by the ache in me but if its all the same to you its the same to me 

and just like that, those three words, eight letters. that i so wish were three different ones, eight different letters, ones im sure shes said to someone else, someone new in connecticut. but i cant bother to care about right now because at least i got something, something to show that maybe she still cares a little bit. a little bit about me.

i dont know if this is a mistake, even though i think i do. i know i do. even though i just told myself a couple of hours ago i wasnt going to do this. but hell, going from trying to not see her at all to her being the first person i see is almost comical.

okay.

im going to be in terminal one

gate G20.

Damn was kinda hopin for a diff kinda rsp

Guess that’ll do…

you’re so pushy omg

i miss you too p.

That’s more like it 😊

i hate you sm

Nah

You dont.

read 6:49

paige is right, which she knows. i dont hate her, i never could, and i dont think i ever will. that is what hurts the most. no matter how much i have to remind myself of the routine and how much this will never go anywhere, how her words are empty, only sounding full and meaningful for the week or two we are in the same city, i dont know how to stop. bc its her. its paige. my paige.

the rest of my travel night goes by in a blur, i paid for my car to be parked in the garage, i checked my bags, went through security, waited at the gate, and am now on the plane where i would normally get a nice four hour nap in so the ride would go by quicker, i dont, because i dont know if im prepared to land, to see whos waiting for me once this plane lands in minnesota. but just like that it does, it lands.

thankfully, im seated near the back of the aircraft so i have a little bit more time wasting im able to do, i find myself walking to baggage claim extremely slow its almost comical, praying my bag isnt one of the first ones out, but of course it is. curse you universe. im plotting on how im gonna look lost outside, how i purposefully cant find her car like i have no idea what it looks like, like i dont have her license plate number memorized. like we havent done unspeakable shit in that car, unable to wait a ten minute drive home from a random bar.

that is until i look up from my phone, suspicious because she hasnt texted me about her whereabouts outside yet, and i spot a little ways down the strip of the airport, a strikingly bright blonde head of hair that i would recognize anywhere.

my pace, unbeknownst to me, picks up, and as i get closer i can make out that shes holding up a sign. not huge and flashy, but modest, smaller, she begins to walk towards me as well with what i can make out so far as the biggest grin on her face i have ever seen. that im sure my own face is reflecting. the closer she gets the more clear her sign becomes, it reads, ‘welcome home thea’ as she flips it to the back that says ‘ive missed you most’. at this point ive completely ditched my bags and have just jumped in her arms, a giggling mess. god im a child. my arms are wrapped around her neck, hers around my waist, lifting me up off the floor slightly, breathing into my neck.

a couple of hours ago i said i wasnt going to get drawn back in, now im in the middle of the airport looking like a lovesick idiot. 

so we could call it even you could call me babe for the weekend 'tis the damn season 

“hi baby” she mumbled against my skin and heart just about burst. i missed her so much. i pull back to look at her face, i just want to look at her face, i could forever. with my hands cupping her face. her rosy cheeks from being outside in the minnesota weather all cold, trying to warm her up.

as shes setting me down shes wiping hair out of my face, off of my forehead, looking deep into my eyes with her ocean blue ones, “god i missed you.” she whispered, quiet enough to be heard by just us, like a secret she didnt want anyone around us to hear in fear of it breaking. “so ive heard” i say back to her, moving my face closer to hers, with a smug but playful grin on my lips. and my arms are right back around her neck as im saying into her ear “i missed you too p.” scattering small kisses across the side of her head. on her ear, hairline, neck, temple. i know better. but at this point, theres no going back. and its not on her lips, so what damage is it really doing?

i back away and intertwine my hand with hers while looking into her eyes, “lets go home, k?” i say while nodding my head in encouragement, “okay” she mumbles, while squeezing my hand, and grabbing my bags for me off of the floor. shes perfect, for these next two weeks shes going to be perfect. 

write this down, im stayin at my parents house and the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you in my hometown 

im in her passenger seat, like ive been in drastically different situations many times before, as we’ve finally made it out of the god awful airport pickup zone. ive been day dreaming out this window for who knows how long, about her of course. because when im with her as happy as it makes me, it only confuses me more. and it drives me insane.

thats when i feel her right hand creep up on my thigh from the drivers side in soothing circles, “thea? hey did you hear what i said?” my eyes jerk down to her hand and then towards her eyes. “sorry p, whats up?” because i genuinely did miss her question. but theres some look etched on her face, one i havent seen before, and it makes me take a big gulp of water thats been sitting in her car for possibly ages, as im all of a sudden afraid of what shes gonna say.

her hand continues to rub soothing circles on my thigh while her eyes i swear are staring into the deepest parts of my soul, i should be worried considering shes currently driving on the highway but i cant seem to care, the way she looks at me makes me feel like im the only person in the world. “hey are you okay?” she says sincerely, “what?” i say almost too loudly, “sorry, yeah no im good p”, safe to say that wasnt what i was expecting her to ask. i dont know what i was, but it wasnt that. not something that made her seem like she cares deeper about me than whats on the surface level. actually able to tell when somethings going on with me. whatever, its probably nothing. “alright thea,” as her goddamn hand is almost territorially sitting on my thigh now, like shes trying to protect me from the heat coming out of the ac in the car.

“you never told me where im takin you.” she states, looking at me with her cute but smuggish at the same time grin. “yeah right, sorry, uh im staying with my parents. i’ll send you the address.” i ramble, trying to get this car ride to go by quicker. i swear shes driving slower on purpose. just to see me squirm. i see out of the corner of my eye as im going to send her the address her hand coming up to my phone, shes setting my hands down in my lap, and then turning my chin to face her, “thea. enough with the sorries. and i know were your parents live baby you dont need to send me the address.” she lets out a chuckle, but not one making fun, a light hearted one, as her hand moves to find mine and intertwines our fingers in my lap. but i know paige better than anyone, before we were whatever this is, we were friends, bestfriends. so of course she lets no teasing opportunity pass her by,

“damn,” she says, looking down at my phone, that has our messages open, “legal name as the contact name is lethal” she says, looking up at me with a smirk, i shove her shoulder trying not to give her the satisfaction of a laugh and am then playing with the rings on her fingers. “alright p i would like a better suggestion. your name as your name in my phone makes complete sense to me. now i dont even wanna know what you got me as in yours,” i say with a chuckle, but also leaving it on a hint, i do wanna know. its probably nothing special, but paige is right, anything other than my full name would be special.

“oh really?” shes looking at me with that smirk, god it kills me. shes pulled out her phone and opened it up to my contact, 'thea 💚'. it really seems like nothing special to the blind eye, but it is to me. not even my full first name, my nickname, with a heart that just about makes my own burst. because its not just any, one of my favorite color, that ironically is the same as my last name. no words are exchanged between us. just two pairs of eyes looking deeply into one another, faces with the biggest grins on them, while the rest of the car ride was silent. the center console of her car jabbing into the left side of my rib cage so my head was able to lean on her shoulder with her hand in my lap the whole way home. our hearts beating almost too romantically in sync the whole way to my parents house.

paige, despite what i knew she wanted to do, dropped me off at home. she pulled into my parents driveway with her headlights off, sure to not wake them, and though the door wasnt even twenty feet away, “im still walking you to it” she insisted, while grabbing my bags from the backseat.

i unlocked my front door, placed my bags inside and turned to the tall blonde, looking up into her icy blue eyes. “thank you for getting me p. and bringing me home,” i whispered the last part as i reach up to place my arms around her neck, as her arms find their familiar home around my waist. i couldnt tell you how long we stood there for, swaying lightly, not wanting to let one another go, with my front door wide open letting all the cold minnesota air in. like when i come back home, and let paige back in.

i finally pulled away looking into her eyes, mumbling “but i cant let you in. i want to, but i cant, p.” paige sighs, looking down at our feet, then back at me, “i know baby, its okay.” she spoke while wiping baby hairs away from my face and once again scooping me up in a hug. her breath warm agaisnt the left crevice where my neck and shoulder meet. i want to let her in so bad, but i cant because i know myself. i know her. i know us. and she knows it too. one thing will lead to another. and i need to try to hold out for as long as possible, as much as its killing me.

as paige pulls away she leaves a kiss on my cheek and mumbles, “i’ll see you soon. get some sleep okay?” looking at me with questioning eyes and a raised eyebrow. god shes so cute. “okay.” i breathe out, reaching down to grab both of her hands. till she starts to back away, i find myself trying to hold onto the tips of her fingers for as long as possible as shes whispering goodbye and just like that her car is backing out of the driveway, and im standing under the porch light. alone. i know this scene all too well. we arent in highschool anymore, i have to remind myself, so i turn around and head inside before i overthink our situation, again.

i parkеd my car right between the methodist and thе school that used to be ours

with playlists blasting in my ears, im unpacking my bags in my childhood room, tidying it up because my mom has turned it into her own personal closet while ive been gone, finding little knickknacks that meant everything to me as a kid.

i stumble upon a hopkins basketball sweatshirt on my closet floor, i wonder who that belongs to? a cross on my wall from our communities church event. from the same church i went to every sunday that i would always find myself sitting next to paige at.

and cleaning my bathroom i so luckily have attached to my bedroom, putting away my toiletries, opening a drawer that still has some of her things in it from when she would stay over almost every night, all as im about to get in the shower before i finally try and get some sleep.

thats when my music pauses to signify a ding of a notification. its paige, of course.

paige bueckers

U up?

read 2:13 am

thea 💚

nope

Alr 1 ur mean 2 I thought I told u to sleep

one you love me

two shouldnt u not be textin me then?

Damn u right on both tbh

But nah yk I cant leave u alone

read 2:17am

overthinking is my speciality, but am i doing that right now? because in all of our years of just being friends we expressed our gratitude for one another, but since we’ve been whatever the fuck this is, flirt, hookup, ghost, paige has never even said the words “i like you” to me.

we both know we care so deeply for one another, possibly more, but its complicated. our lives never worked out together that way, never overlapped, so we accepted the mutual heartbreak but kept pushing forward with this toxic cycle anyways because neither of us could bare not having the other in our life anymore.

did she just admit that she loves me? nah. no fucking way. we say shit in playful tones like that all time. oh you love me this you love me that. but shes never admitted it back, not like that. what is going on. god its late, get out of your head thea. play it cool.

yeah ur lowkey annoying

highkey actually

Alr get out

U love me back dw ik

mm debatable 

Ouch

Wyd tmr

i dont know actually

my parents arent awake to make any plans with lol

Oh so I get u first

ok who said that??

You basically 😊

paige madison omg

Hey that reminds me

You change that contact name yet??

that rlly buggin you huh

Maybe

then i might just keep it

Thea istg

alr alr chill i will change it 😂

dorothea greene changed paige bueckers contact to 'paige 💜'

And I will pick u up at noon?

where tf did i agree to that?

Would you rather meet somewhere?

i dont see where i agreed to do anything with you

I want to see you

paige.

you just saw me not even an hour ago

I miss you

you cant possibly

How do you know that

You dont know I feel

I miss you

I miss you

okay will you shut up if i say yes

Um only if nice Thea shows up

okay sorry p 😂😂

Never be sorry

Sooooo I will pick you up tomorrow at noon?

you will pick me up tomorrow at noon.

Goodnight baby sleep well

Actually sleep please

read 2:35

that damn petname, nickname, whatever it is it fucking kills me and she probably has no idea. no she definitely knows and thats why she uses it.

thank god she cant see my face right now because its full blown red, completely embarrassed post screaming my lungs out into my pillow.

i will

goodnight p

see u tmr.

i just snickered to myself after sending paige those last texts. almost shameful of myself. i dont know what im doing. or maybe i do? i think its safe to say my winter break is gonna go different than i planned, but the same way as it always been whenever i dare to mix myself with paige bueckers and my hometown.

the next chapter will be finishing out the lyrics of ttds (in blue) which will be linked in the masterlist once finished! - im gonna try and make this into a full blown series incorporating other songs from the album 'evermore' going back in time as well to give some background information on their relationship, etc. we'll see how it goes...

reminder: my box is open for all requests ⋆˙⟡

[shoeshoesho]

1/1/24

i was so sad after new years today. and i really dont know why. I let out a good cry and i really couldnt stop crying. I think i was angry. I was mad at tyler. And come to realize it ive been mad at him for a long time. I just dont know why. I think i do but it doesnt seem to make anything better.

I was upset yesterday because we went to this party that had nothing going on and we didnt know anyone and quite honestly i was bored. At some point i thought we should do something else but he didnt want to. But when i really think about it im not upset about these strangers we met randomly for some dumb new years party. I actually dont care. I was mad everyone all week since i worked for all of christmas. I was tired. I was going everywhere. I had a moment before we went to his parents house when he said we were sleeping over- i literally yet out a small yell in pure frustration.

I feel like ive been running on nothing for the holidays. giving everyone everything. Had an decent thanksgiving- tyler had a horrible one and i felt like i owed him somehow. Somwhere in that "owe" it attributed to some horrific holiday following that for me. Mostly accounted to working so much/working early and not sleeping enough. I just feel like ive been faking it for so long. Faking how things are going. Trying to give him a good holiday and everyone else.

Truth be told we have been fighting since we got engaged. Well, since i started wedding planning actually. not after engagement. It has nothingto do with us getting together but everything to do with how well we work together when im stressed. We have never been good together when I am stressed. We have never communicated well. And it shows during the planning and discussing. You seee clearly we are different people, different places.

I dont know how to bring this up. but me crying on new years day by myself is a red flag. I was so mad that we slept at bryans and had breakfast there. I honestly cant tell you why cause looking back at it now it was cute and it didnt take that long. It was nice. But why was i so upset?

I started frantically cleaning. and i began to be angry at him. i was angry that he didnt think to wash the big pot in the sink. That i was washing every fucking blanket and towel in the guest room. Why was i doing this? I was mad that i was basically his maid. I was mad that he didnt think maybe he should help me out.

I felt like i didnt actually do what i wanted to do. this is what i always do. I felt like i was loosing my identity. I felt like i was taken for granted.

(next morning)

i dont know why i was so upset. It has dissapeared like a wind. But i really need to know what i was that upset me. maybe a breaking point? Maybe i am unhappy? Im not too sure

[the1975attheirverybest]

honestly not been to good im pretty sure im burnt out but my first exam is in less than 2 weeks so ive just got to find a way to keep going. i got absolutely nothing done yesterday and was basically in bed most of the day on a discord call with a couple friends not even talking for most of it

the whole bank holiday thing also really fucks with me because its more difficult to get a bus to go out to do revision and then theres all the coronation shit

i did however read a really good fanfic that i put off reading for ages because i thought it was gonna be shit but it was really good and now i feel dumb for not reading it when my standards for reading have dropped because i have read like pretty much anything under the 1975 on ao3

how have you been doing? - 🐸

Oh, I’m so sorry you’ve not been feeling too good lately :( burn out is real, though. And, inconveniently, seems to always hit when you don’t have time for it. I felt the same way, yesterday. Like, my dissertation chapter is due soon but I could hardly read a damn thing yesterday.

Sometimes, I think that it’s good to just take the day off when you’re feeling this way. Maybe resting will make you come back to revision with a more refreshed mindset. Though I know how difficult that is. Because when I’m resting, I’m always thinking about the work that I SHOULD be doing instead. Not very restful, lmao. Ends up just filling me with guilt. But we gotta practice this stuff and get better at taking care of ourselves.

I KNOW ITS HARD OUT THERE ON Ao3. part of the reason I STARTED writing fanfics is cuz I read basically all of it and was like “well I want more!” Haha.

I’ve been alright. Yesterday was rough mentally. But I’m feeling a tad better today and hoping to get some work done on my draft. If I ever stop procrastinating that is, lol. The end of the semester is always busy and stressful I hate it.

[butchviking]

besides the nazis I do also have a MUCH LESSER beef with the Norse-larping/identifying white people who really do give me the “thinks they suffer the same way indigenous people suffer from the Christian white hegemony” and “thinks this opts them out of being realllly settler colonists… if you think about it…. They have an indigenous white(tm) set of beliefs” that are super true and extra spiritual and in harmony and then they pretend they can even know that. When I’m sorry — I truly am sorry — some ancient people in Europe did experience conquest by (also pagan, then Christian, Rome) and shit and they can empathize with that… but it doesn’t mean that “really” “if we think about it” any rando modern white nonindigenous (eg not Samí) person anywhere has comparable heritage or trauma or persecution around it. You can just feel they want to claim that. Sometimes they do word for word.

And i swear it’s niche. It’s not even the main motive most people have. but it’s around. I classify it as more of a whites irritating me shit than a big issue but that doesn’t mean I don’t see it for what it is.

man people have forgotten what the acronym LARP means. norse larpers are very cool & fun in my experience ✌️ i love larp i love silly little outfits i love people being so passionate abt smthn they immerse themselves in a whole world of it i love that they always have smthn cool to teach. everyone stop misusing larp its gotten weird and confusing

this is so wild tho i think ive like. never come across this type of person. i guess it must be niche cause i don't even know if u mean like. europeans or americans or scandinavians or the english or what. i mean i guess ive come across plenty of pagans (& non-pagans tbh) of all sorts who bang on about how christians 'stole' this holiday or that holiday from 'the pagans' which comes from some basis of truth and the christians did fucked up shit to a lot of different cultures.. but i kind of roll my eyes at it bc it doesnt usually come from much actual knowledge or persecution & more just, like u say, wanting to claim an experience. so im with u as far as that. but u gotta be crazy to think being of viking descent would somehow mean u have no history of invading or settling places that didn't want u like... our word for them literally comes from the word specifically for those who would travel overseas to raid & settle there. like im from the uk so i can't imagine how that would work bc anyone here of viking descent (i Will be that guy nd say its technically in my past somewhere too lol ✌️ according to my grandmother & also according the the family surname. but thats really common where im from we got decent viking history) is obviously not indigenous (we dont like. have indigenous ppl here anymore really except perhaps the cornish) nd any white americans have settler/coloniser history much more recently anyway. ive never known any scandinavians who try n make out like their history is one of particular repression (i have not known very many scandinavians) but tbh like. yeah they were severely fucked over by the christians that did happen. as far as im aware most scandinavians are indigenous as i understand the word (their ancestors didnt move in any time recently & have pretty much always lived there) but aren't like. oppressed for that. & the christians did genuinely oppress ppl in their act of christianisation but that was... a long time ago so most ppl don't exactly have any claim to 'trauma' from it. but then, there probably are a lot of modern ásatrúar who are probably still somewhat religiously repressed in their home country which is definitely a bad thing & is clearly a hang-over from that time & from that christian mindset that everyone must be like them & worship the same god as them. but its very very different to struggles of ppl like the sámi.

sry for just kind of thinking aloud here but as i say i don't think ive come across the ppl ur talking abt, so much so that i dont know. who u are talking about. other than the generic annoying 'pagan' types but i havent rly known any actual heathens who do that. other than the nazis.

[bethhiraeth]

okay here goes!

the strawberries are dying

byler in the 30's during the great depression, great exploration of class differences and them accepting being queer in an even more homophobic time (ongoing)

a bed in your shape

only two chapters so far, but a really cute and well written fic. will lies about being a virgin and everyone thinks that he and mike hooked up. adorable characterisation and them bonding over being gay

White lies

mike's family thinks he and will are dating, and invites him on holiday with them as his boyfriend. classic fake dating

filling in the blanks as we go

byler bookstore au. the cutest, fluffiest ever. will being a mess, awkward flirting, creative writing major mike. think coffee shop au but in a bookstore

the vale of shadows

im sure you've probably read a dram always the same and its sequel, but the last part of the series is just as good (maybe even my favourite). i wont give too much away, but its a fantasy au that picks up where over a bridge of time ends off. i am normally not a fantasy fan, but i really really enjoy this one (its ongoing)

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this).

classic 'mike thinks they're dating and just doesnt want to rush will and will has no idea what the fuck is going on'

laying on a sandy beach, sun shining in my eyes

the party goes to the beach in their senior year. really cute and fluffy

To Witness, The near Disappearance of Mike Wheeler

everyone thinks will is dead, for real this time. but hes not, hes trapped in the upside down again by vecna before he died. will trying to escape + exploration of mike's mental health which i felt dealt with it really well. be warned with this one, HEAVY angst and depression, so check tw.

something hungry for blood

vampire!mike but make it like. really funny. the vampire thing isnt even all that relevant tbh. hes still an idiot <3

Hide From The World (In Your Arms, Preferably)

cute but also angsty spidey!will, where he almost dies and lands in mike's living room, who he hasn't spoken to in over a year

playing pretend never felt so real

apparently im a sucker for these things, because this is another 'mike and will fake date on holiday with his family' one. and it is. adorable. my mouth was actually hurting from smiling so much. also impeccable wheeler family dynamics. holly is an icon (i was in hysterics every time she said something) and nancy adopts will as her baby brother. fluff all round <3

i was enchanted to meet you (please don't be in love with someone else)

adorable byler coffee shop au feat. mike being a fucking idiot

you are sick (and you’re married)

another coffee shop au but will is the idiot this time

Love goes 'round

will and mike meet in a laundromat at 3am. just really cute one-shot, and cool liminal 3am vibes

Tattoo

mike gets a tattoo and gets kicked out by his girlfriend. he realises maybe it has more to do with the fact that hes in love with will and didnt know it that the tattoo

Take My Breath Away

tooth-rotting byler wedding:)

he is half of my soul, as the poets say

THIS. FIC. I go back to it whenever I am feeling a little down. Featuring mike and will both being dorks for luca, the song of achilles, and having cats that are soulmates. i just. love it so much

thats all ive got for now! i hope all the links work, and that you find something that you enjoy (and havent read!) <3

anybody have any byler fic recs?? im trying to get back into reading to give me motivation to write

[raccoonfallsharder]

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟupdated 12/6

18+ only | rocket x f!oc | 21/27 Chapters | WIP | Word Count: pending. ♡ check the masterlist for expected updates ♡ ♡ see the "holiday special" ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ [new 12/5] ♡

girl falls first; racoon falls harder.

The rotation drags past. Jolie picks at her dinner. She’s been flushed and nervous since breakfast, and it’s only getting worse. Pete’s been looking at her with creased, concerned brows, and Gamora pretends not to notice, focusing all her attention on Groot and asking him if he wants to spend the night with her. Rocket’s just quiet all day. Watchful. All Jolie can think about is that she hasn’t done this in ages - this meaning sex, of course. Not since a few years before she’d left Terra, and never all that many times. As a teenager and a young woman, she’d been too preoccupied with trying to find a way to get to her sister. Honestly, the majority of her expertise comes second-hand from her last Terran roommate, who had been not only extremely active but happy to regale anyone who would listen with stories of their exploits. Jolie’s gotten rave reviews on the very few blowjobs she’s given, which she knows she can credit in part to Angela’s impromptu re-enactments with a narrow bottle of body mist. And this would be different anyway: Jolie’s past encounters had been with clumsy, entitled, thick-fingered boys who’d fumbled against her skin sweatily, and called her so beautiful like it was a line out of an instruction manual: just a thing you say to a girl you’re banging. She’d always left those encounters with the ghost of desire: never even fanned to full-flame, much less quenched. On the rare occasions when she hasn’t faked an orgasm to get them off her, she’s provided it for herself. But Rocket, with his fleeting, meticulous hands…if he gives one-tenth of the attention to her body that he does to building a bomb, she knows she’s going to come apart in seconds.

[NEW 12/6] ✧･ﾟ:*Chapter XXI. I Very Still. in which our heroes get fucked. in the good way, this time. finally.

the moment you’ve all been waiting for. im not nervous at all ~♡

General summary/notes + links to recently preceding chapters behind the cut.

let me know via comment, message, or ask if you'd like to be added or removed from my fanfic taglist ♡

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies). let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units.in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. *in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which Rocket ~ discreetly ~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. *

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. ❤︎❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ A Holiday Special *

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short/drabbly, silly fluff.

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @pretty-chips ♡ @suicidalshitstick ♡ @glow-autumz

[ramp-it-up]

“I don’t care about tradition, you try and get me to kiss you under the mistletoe and I will punch you” Chris evans The Evans household on Christmas ❤️💚❤️💚

Holly Jolly Christmas

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader (How I Met Your Father au)

Word Count: 350

Warnings: 18+ as always; Language, a nose punch, individuals drunk on sugar and alcohol.

A/N: Thanks for this ask, my Sweet! 😘 This little ditty popped right out. I know I agreed that this song would go with Jake, but… we’re flowing here. Hope you like it love! #DJsHolidayVisit

Notice: I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post. DO NOT COPY, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK.

Divider by @firefly-graphics

“I don’t care about tradition, you try and get me to kiss you under the mistletoe and I will punch you. “

You were in the kitchen when the threat was made, so you didn’t know anything about your husband making a move on your best friend.

The twins were 6 years old and running around the house like maniacs on Christmas Eve. They’d had holiday punch and cookies and eggnog, entirely too much sugar.

But your house was loaded with love and laughter and holiday spirit and you couldn’t ask for anything more.

“OW! SHIT! FUCK! WHAT’D YOU DO THAT FOR?!!?”

Wynn and CJ were yelling “SHIT, FUCK, SHIT, FUCK” and jumping on the couch while Chris was holding his nose.

“Scott, can you get the kids,” you gestured as you made your way over to Kit and Chris.

“What the hell happened?”

“Oooooh Mommy said Helll!”

Wynn’s eyes were wide and CJ was shocked and silent. You rolled your eyes.

“Where was this reaction when your father said… never mind.”

You looked back at your husband and your best friend.

“Well?”

“I told dude bro I wasn’t kissing him under the mistletoe when I got here.”

You looked at Chris.

“What? It was just a kiss on the cheek. Scott dared me!”

Chris pointed at his younger brother.

You looked at Scott.

“Look at it this way. If she broke his nose, he can finally get more character parts.”

“Oh. I want a cut of your up-charge if it wins you an Oscar, dude.” Kit was thinking of the potential.

You looked around the room and concluded that you were the only sober adult within 20 feet.

“C’mon, DeNiro. Let’s get you some ice.”

“Can I get some hot cocoa with marshmallows too. With Bailey’s?”

Chris stage whispered.

“Yes, Dear. Hold your head back.”

You helped Chris pinch his nose as you led him to the bathroom.

“How about a little Christmas head while we’re at it?”

Chris grinned at you as the blood dripped from his face.

It was 3 pm on Christmas Eve.

This was going to be a long night.

[shayberri789]

He makes me so ill. Some things I'd like to add:

(I've put in a readmore because good lord did this get long. Sorry op)

Ive had a theory that those meltdowns Malory described - reliving his death during the day - is the same thing that happens to Noah when he starts to become untethered to the leyline. You know how he relives his death in bllb? I think it's the same, and I don't know if that's better or worse. I think the closer you are to the event, the more often it happens. Because somewhere in time you are always dying, and the more connected you are to that time, the more you'll relive it

I think gansey likely had been gaslighting himself for a long time about his death, before he proved to himself that magic is real. Can you imagine, Baby gansey, miraculously alive, convinced he'd died and was saved by a mythical dead king, but there's not a scratch on him? Parents who love him but are still distant, not a single real friend he can trust, no one quite sure what to do with this strange boy? Gansey, stop saying you died. Look at you. You're perfectly healthy. Magic isn't real gansey. Your imagination is getting away with you - if you'd been stung by bees, you'd be dead gansey. But you're quite alive (but I did die! 10 year old gansey says desperately.) Stop being dramatic gansey. Stop talking about this nonsense - youre making your parents look bad. Dick, this is an important meeting, please don't bring up your welsh king or imagined death tonight okay dear? People will think you're crazy. Oh look at the rich kid! Has to make up some trauma in order to be special. Go ride in your fancy car asshole and stop mocking people with real trauma

And for years.... on and on and gansey is like fuck? Did I make it up? I need to stop with this I'm causing Problems for people. I'm being over dramatic. No one believes I died. I'm not traumatised! I'm perfectly fine! Look at me! Can a traumatised person do THIS? *whips up a blinding smile*

But then why do these nightmares persist? Why is the vision so clear in my mind every time I see a bee? My therapist doesn't believe I'm telling the truth and they'd know best.

Just imagine two years of everyone and yourself gaslighting you (intentionally or not) that nothing happened. You're Perfectly Fine. You're the son of the Ganseys, boy, act like it. You're not going to get any help or sympathy if you melt down or show distress so you better hide it. Hide your fear and your anxiety because that's the only way you're Valid. The only existence you're allowed. Keep repressing it and bottling it up until it's too much and you - need a break.

A short holiday to somewhere with a leyline, I don't know. Gansey splits off from his family when he Hears the locals talking about a headless black dog wandering the fields at dusk. Gansey is 12 and he has to see this, so he goes, along with a village boy who claims he can summon the rain when he sings in the fields, and who's seen the dog more than anyone

Dusk comes, with no dog in sight, so they decide to pass the time with the boy singing. And the rain comes, and there in the distance is a headless black dog that never seems to be closer than 6 meters, but to gansey, it's enough. It's proof.

He returns home dripping wet and filled with hope (goodness dick! Did you fall into a fountain? No, I got caught in some rain, is all. What? There hasn't been any rain in this town for days.) (For once, their denial is more evidence - because that was magic rain, and for one, gansey wasn't the only one to see it)

He researches the town and learns about leylines, and it starts.

He posters his parents into holidays all over the world, to carefully chosen places so he can do more research, and soon enough he stops bothering and just goes on his own. His parents are glad hes found something to occupy himself with that aren't his delusions. In time, they forget

I think it's said that Gansey spent the most time with Mallory than anywhere else barring Henrietta. What do you think it was like, working with him? This old eccentric man, just as much an expert in leylines as Gansey has become, and he's so kind. He's the fist person to believe gansey when he tells him about his death. It's more vulnerable than gansey has been with someone in years, and it sirs between them like a weighted secret. The nightmares never stopped - maybe it was after the first few that he opened up to malory. Maybe he's not used to being able to rely on someone else. Maybe he just barely misses stepping on a bee and it's too much - years of fear and anxiety and uncertainty and being the only person who knows and believes what happened and honestly sometimes that latter one is harder to convince himself is true, but he nearly just made a repeat and malory is looking at him funny and no no he can't be weak, he can't show this affects him anymore, he has a reputation to uphold - but he's only 14. 15. He's a kid, and thats a lot of emotions and trauma to hold and press down, and he's been so fixated on this for years that his anxiety over his dear death (what COULD have happened), the stress, and the memory of what DID happen all conflates and suddenly he's relieving it, as if he had died.

Malory is alarmed of course and tries to help but what can he do? What can gansey do? And when it's over gansey cannot stand the looks he gets and the knowledge that malory saw his mask (survival mechanism) break that he feels crushed, and so he flees, and distance makes it easier to breathe

And life goes on. Gansey spends YEARS of his adolescence pretending he'd okay and he's got it down to an ART. He dates girls all over the world because his parents kept asking if he has a girlfriend yet. They never last long. He has a long distance once when he moves to Henrietta but when life gets too much, and he never really cared that much for her anyway, he breaks it off because it's easier.

And this is all just an expansion on what you've been saying so far but now I want to draw attention to that one part in trb (forgive me, I do not have my books with me so I can't quote) where gansey talks about how "his friends kept walking away from him, but he could never seem to walk away from them"

THAT gets me because - that's a 180. He's spent his life running from people. Making connections and leaving them easily. Ronan Adam and Noah are so important to him because not only did they believe him about magic, they believed him about his death (maybe it was a little harder for Adam. Maybe Adam was jealous of this second chance, because he knew that if he fucked up and his dad killed him for real, there'd be no second chances. But that's a story for another day. And I don't think hed let it show. Even if gansey is more intuitive (and anxious) than anyone knows. But it doesn't matter) and they take it as truth, simple. But what happened, in those early months, to win these boys gansey's loyalty to such a degree that he could sell his home to help them? That he would choose again and again to follow THEM (as well), to keep walking back to them when they push him away, to make him willing to die again for real for them? That he CANT BRING HIMSELF to leave, when every time before then, gansey had fled? Packed up and moved on?

And what about all the evidence that gansey's self esteem is in the gutter, but his self confidence is so pristine that no one notices that he thinks his life is worthless? That he has to prove he deserves to be alive? That he believes he DIDNT (maybe DOESNT) deserve his second chance? That he thinks he has no right to ever be upset, afraid, angry, self-pitting, depressed, traumatised? That he has no right to need help, let alone ask for it, because he has been taught to do everything himself (and isnt that just a fun house mirror to adam. Same issue, different expression. Richard gansey, army of one, oh so slowly learning that that doesnt need to be the case. But ganse, that doesnt mean you have to be the general), and in fact he has a RESPONSIBILITY to helping others? What about the fact that he doesn't think his friends would love him as much as he does them, because why would they? He's done the bare minimum. What about the fact that he doesn't think he deserves his friends, so he's blind to the loyalty they have to him? He feels like they're all walking away, but "if They (gansey) die, I (ronan) die too" "then you've killed him (ronan), Adam thought (at the prospect of taking ronan away from gansey). Adam giving up his wish for a future from glendower immediately when he realizes gansey will die. The fact that Adam, in his pov, never wants to walk away from gansey. He only wants to stand beside him, not behind him.

But gansey can't see any of this, because he doesn't know to look

And another thing that gets me is that - gansey has more masks than the Happy Mask Salesman from Majora's Mask, because he's had to shove himself so deep down and dark just to function and be accepted. But he so, so desperately wants to be known. There's so much evidence for it, but lemme list the ones I have off the top of my head:

Blue returns the journal to gansey, and it fits so perfectly in his hands, and he opens it and wants blue to see they're long acquainted, him and the journal, and he wants to show her that "this is the real me" (TRB)

When gansey goes to visit his parents, he contemplates how the Camero makes him feel on the outside how he feels on the inside. Despite all the layers, gansey wants to be himself, and he wants to show that to people. The car is an extension of that desire (TRB)

In this same scene, Gansey thinks about when he got the care and his dad said "why did he even want that car?" And his mom replied "oh, I know why." Gansey fixated on this, and even all this time later wants to ask her what she meant. Because she said something that meant she knew the real gansey, and he wants to know what that was

I think we all remember that scene in TRK when Gansey is talking to Henry in the hole, and Gansey contemplates what "gansey-like" was. How everyone thought they knew but he was always disappointed because it was surface level stuff. How delighted he was when Henry said secrets and was right, he had actually seen Gansey, and knew what gansey like was

And then at the party, I don't have any actual quotes for this but I could have sworn there was a passage where gansey muses that he felt strangely known by the Vancouver crowd

And the final point I want to bring to attention is that gansey build these masks because he had to, because no one wanted to see the broken and messy bits of gansey. But again and again, blue is the opposite. She outright hates gansey's masks. She really only starts to like him when she sees moments of genuine joy and enthusiasm in him, when he's being sincere or serious. When he starts to peel back his masks for her. How when she saw him afraid, he seemed more real to her. How she fell in love with him, just a bit, when she saw his ghost on the leyline, stripped of all pretence. How her favourite gansey is the quiet one late at night, on phone calls and phone rides, where he stops needing to pretend. That one scene in TRB, after Adam and gansey fought, and blue tells him about malory's failed ritual, and gansey makes a snarky comment and dismisses it with "ignore me, I'm being self-pitying" (which I don't think I need to comment on at this point). Blue replies '"you are being self pitying." But blue kind of liked him better that way'

Idk the fact that blue loves gansey most for the parts of himself he shut away because he'd been taught they weren't acceptable, that no one wanted to see them, that he had no right to have them let alone show them, but he is tired of masks and just wants to be known and understood, and here is blue (and noah and adam and ronan, though those are to different extents/directions) who loves him more for those parts. They're perfect for each other your honour

I'm done now but I told you I'm mentally ill for this boy. My son. My blorbo. I could say so much more about him but I'm tired now so this will have to suffice. I'm always thinking about him. He devastates me

so i'm rereading trc with my friend and we're currently on bllb and i just read chapter 30 and in it blue's asking malory what gansey used to be like before he moved to henrietta and the gansey that malory describes to blue is so different from the gansey she currently knows and i just cant stop thinking about it.

first off, malory describes gansey as "small" as in not just his height but as in gansey was young and it makes sense because at the time gansey was 15 but it just kind of does something to my heart when i think about young, small gansey trying to figure out why he's still alive.

malory then goes on to say, "He was still trying to prove that he hadn't just hallucinated. He was still quite obsessed with the event [his death] itself." gansey first died when he was 10 and to be obsessing over your death for FIVE years trying to convince others but mostly yourself that you didn't make it up that you actually died and not some part of a childs imagination it must've fucked with him so bad???

then malory tells blue exactly how obsessed gansey was with his death and was to the extent that he was always drawing bees and hornets and "Got screaming nightmares over it- he had to get his own place since I couldn't sleep with it [...] Sometimes these fits would happen in the day, too. We'd just be toddling through some riding path in Leicestershire and next thing I knew he'd be on the ground clawing his face like a mental patient." the gansey that blue currently knows doesnt act like that but this was only two years prior its fucking INSANE and it's here blue starts to think about the facade gansey had learned to throw up since he was a kid.

AND IT GETS WORSE SOMEHOW?? earlier in bllb in chapter 3, gansey talks about how he felt like running and how it had been a long time since he had felt that way. at the time it didn't make sense like wdym by that gansey but then back in chapter 30 malory tells blue how gansey just disappeared one day. left most of his bags and left without a word to anyone not even his family who then called malory to ask for gasneys whereabouts. "He picked himself up and moved on so easily, so quickly. He had done it so many times before England, Jane, and it was old hat to him."

it makes blue rethink every conversation she had with gansey previously, similarly to when adam heard gansey's voice of fear in the cave in chapter one where gansey had the panic attack because its around this book where the gangsey start to figure, as blue puts it, "It was more like the Gansey she'd seen was a partial truth."

it's so very easy to pass off ganseys insecurities and his feelings about how he should comfort other people but they shouldn't do the same for him because he's had it the easiest (his words not mine) because he himself skips over it so fast. like he'll mention something and then act like he's never thought or said it, like its something normal which really isnt and then it slowly makes sense that gansey throughout the series, starts to lose that mask (there's multiple masks but thats a conversation for another time) and the readers and the gangsey get to see what the real gansey is like instead of the bulletproof, untouchable gansey they're used to seeing.

the idea of gansey running is insane in a good way because its nothing like the gansey we know, plus paired with the fact about how young gansey has me clawing at the walls because he's just this kid desperate to prove he wasn't hallucinating, trying to find some purpose to his life before he finds it in henrietta. a kid who was still terrified of his death who relived it, screaming every night who still had panic attacks anywhere and everywhere and would end up clawing at himself because there's hornets everywhere. a kid who doesn't stay in one place too long who learns to put on an easy smile to convince everyone okay and gets so good at it that it works and people think that hes normal and okay when he's anything but.

idk pre canon gansey is something that i need to inject into my bloodstream and analyse in a lab.

[lnane]

zero pressure to explain this to my american ass if you dont have the energy, but like.

whats sweden like, as someone who lives there? im always fascinated to hear about other parts of the world from the people who know them best, and i dont hear much about sweden in general, so ive got a lot to learn.

if thats too broad of a question, some suggestions: how do you feel about the weather, or the politics, or the holidays?

whats a nuisance yall joke about (like, over here in usamerica, its usually the military-industrial complex, or costly healthcare)?

or, whats something unique about sweden, or something that you think more people should know about it?

well we can do this in order of things that pop in my head, very disorganized.

to start of with weather: its getting too hot. the weather is actually pretty comfortable most of the time, and these last summers have been the best ive managed in my experience with heat, but you can tell by the climate that its too hot. its too dry, and theres very little snow during winter. its still cold as fuck, but no snow somehow. I wish it rained more. but on a day to day basis, weathers comfy. A bit windy sometime.

holidays i got very little thoughts on myself. theres a few of them and most are just days off. Im not too fond of the way we celebrate them but then again ive only been allowed to and wanted to drink for 2 years worth of them, so i havent gotten into it yet (yea alcohol is the biggest reason we actually still celebrate things i think)

politics is a fucking hellscape rn. the barely disguised neo-nazi party recently got the most amount of votes in the election so the right wing parties is in control. Theyve already started talking dumb shit about climate politics and immigrants. Not looking up. Beyond that i dont know much about the political landscape.

I dont know what a typical swede complains or jokes about because i dont hang out with a lot of them. I know gas prices is a common thing right now. We also have a trend in comedy calling norwegians idiots, which doesnt make sense because we hate denmark way more.

Its hard to say whats unique or special bout sweden because to be all of it is normal. Only real things you need to know is 1. if a swede tries to claim they cant speak english with you, only plausible conlusion is that they didnt finish middleschool (passing grade in english is mandatory), 2. anything that is a traditional swedish meal is pretty much garbage. Its mostly mildly spiced meat, potatoes, and some sauce similar to gravy.

I guess one thing thats a big difference from the american perspective is how our education looks through the years. First 9 are mandatory, ages 7-15 grade 1-9, in stages called Low, Middle, and High stage. After that, you legally have the choice to keep studying or to do something else (socially and economically you dont have that chocie), and at that point you choose your own education. The most common ones being things like Civics, Naturesciences, Technology, and Fine Arts (Art, Dance, Photo, Music, and theatre). Theres a bunch more but these the top picks. Usually lasts 3 years which after you should be around 18 years old and most of the time expected to apply for uni. And during that time you do get money for going to school (seperate from loans, and not a lot of money).

I can probably provide some more detailed information about what its like here with questions about specific parts, but keep in mind that i also know very little about this country. I just live here