#fuck hinges

[averyhollow]

That Man’s Amazing Journey: How That Man Can Win While Still Being The Worst

Y’all notice how Stede Bonnet (*mimes spitting on the ground in disgust at the very mention of his name*) and Pennywise have never been seen in the same place at the same time? Something to think about.

Be Forewarned

This deals with a line reportedly in the OFMD S2 trailer.

If you don’t do criticism/disdain/negative opinions towards or about characters, please let the above (totally accurate, I’m just saying) observation, the fact I refer to Stede as That Man, and my blog being sponsored by Humanity Against Stede Bonnet, set the tone for what’s to follow.

I haven’t actually seen the trailer

and have no intention of watching it, but by no means does my general disinterest mean I’m over my specific hatred of That Man and Gentlebeard. Finding out That Man refers to Ed (could be someone else I guess, but I choose to believe it’s Ed) as “shipmate” instead of “co-captain” means I can dream That Man is not calling himself a captain anymore or being indulged by his put-upon crew.

Intro

It is my belief That Man must be removed from captaincy - never again to ascend to said position - for his own good (which I don’t care about), the good of all around him, and the sake of basic piratical decency. That man saying he and Ed are shipmates instead of claiming to be co-captains is a sign of growth and self-reflection on his part, as it signifies he’s accepted that he’s no longer the captain, never should have been, and that he needs to apply some elbow grease and see himself as a pirate and not a patriarch.

His Own Good

Dude’s captaincy was bought and even if OFMD portrays (so far) the pirates in the show’s universe as less than egalitarian, democratic, and inclined towards talking things through as a crew; it still has created a world where captaincy is earned. He can’t truly claim to respect Ed, Ed’s world, and Ed’s accomplishments, if he continues running around calling himself a pirate captain.

That Man expecting to be welcomed back as captain, let alone actually being allowed to resume captaincy, would be a continuation of him having bought his captaincy in the first place. He should be happy to accept that the position was taken from him and apologize for having ever held it by use of economic coercion. That Man is accustomed to living by exploitation of others. Time for him to put some sweat on his brow and give working to meet his base material needs a go.

He embarked on a life of piracy where he intended to menace the poor and downtrodden for fun because exploiting them in the conventional way wasn’t enough for him, and then left every cent of his unearned wealth to his equally vampiric family. The least he can do is acknowledge that he was an utter fool and proper ass to appoint himself captain, and that he can never be with Ed if he’s holding onto any of the trappings of privilege and power he left behind.

The Good Of All Around Him

The crew doesn’t need him or to cater to his whims. That Man was only running the ship because he was running them checks, and he not only can’t do that but didn’t take enough money to give them one last bonus. They’ve selected a captain in the proper way of pirates - something That Man doesn’t know a damn thing about - and they selected him for damn good reasons.

That Man rolled in knowing nothing about piracy and decided he was going to set about “fixing” the culture based on his own assumptions of its problems. The crew deserves better and have chosen better.

And the fishers. What of the fishers? Do they not deserve to fish in peace? Do they not deserve to have one of the few pieces of ornamentation they have safe from a man who would steal it from them at gunpoint, even though that man could afford a thousand such plants and pots should he want? They were probably fishing to supplement their meager diet because they barely make ends meet due to the exploitation of That Man. They’re probably literally on the verge of starvation now because they’re too traumatized to go back out fishing.

Let the fishers fish and let That Man have several fucking seats, but only after he’s done with a day’s work. Matter of fact, make him make his own damn seat. He can use the wood from the broken sitz bath he had the crew sharing while he had a whole ass porcelain monstrosity for his own use.

The Sake Of Piratical Decency

There’s no universe (I’ve checked), where That Man can change for the better (and his better will still be The Worst) and end the show as a pirate captain. With the exception of perhaps a 20 year time jump where he leads a crew of pirates new to both piracy and sailing in general.

But That Man earning captaincy over any of the crew as it stands? Nope. That Man earning a captaincy of another crew without work and experience? Nope. And should That Man do the bare minimum of learning about piracy and sailing, he should then realize the true extent of his ignorance and hubris, and never again dare to put himself forward as a captain. At least not anytime soon.

The Show Must Go On

I accept that the show is a romcom and therefore certain things must happen and that it has no real world-building or sense beyond what happens to get Ed and That Man together, and what happens to get Ed and That Man to a place where they can be whole enough in themselves to be wholly together.

As such, certain inherently fucked up things about That Man (that the show didn’t have to do, but chose to and chose to quite flippantly and clumsily imo, but that’s neither here nor there) must be handwaved and ignored, but I don’t think the ridiculousness of him buying a captaincy is one of those things.

Co-captains might be fun to say (for some people) as a cute ship name and reminder of when Ed and That Man first acknowledged their affinity for each other and desire to share a life and future in any form; but the version of That Man who first proposed co-captaincy is not the version that I think can ever truly be family with the crew, or a partner to Ed.

[lizardpersonyknow]

It's so incredibly funny to me that somehow some people think Tim is a boring straightlace and Jason is deranged and unhinged

Like Jason at his worst is a murderous crime lord who also has a moral conscience, protects children and sex workers, works to make the worst parts of Gotham safer and wants to know that his dad cares

Tim at his worst on the other hand.... Rampant murder with NO morals, becomes Batman and uses the gun that killed Bruce's parents, dictator, takes over like half of America, goes back in time like a couple times to tell his younger self that this is their inevitable end just to fuck with HIMSELF

Jason at his best is the happy robin, loves school, cares for sex workers becomes a crime lord to help make sure the people who are addicted aren't being given toxic shit

Tim at his best is entirely unhinged, stalking Batman and Robin through the streets, blackmailing Batman, all the young justice shenanigans, creating a fake uncle to avoid adoption, beefing with a like 9 year old (deserved imo 9 year olds are MEAN), lies to everyone including batman and take pride in it

Like besties one is exponentially more of a black sheep and it isn't the drug lord, it's the heroic sidekick of batman

Yes Jason is still out on the streets wildin and feral but I don't think people give enough credit to how normal he is for his background

Yes Tim is CEO but he's also been 17 for years and probably has taken cocaine to see what it felt like

[astradyke]

they were 18 and 22 and they were so in love and they were 21 and 25 and they were so in love and they were 28 and 32 and they were so in love and now they are 33 and 37 and they never stopped being in love i feel SICK

[patron-saint-of-lesbeans]

Please pray for all those going to the March for Life this week, that they put their trust in God and not in princes.

[the-most-sublime-fool]

it's always something

[princescar]

Girl, shut the fuck up

[fvrtvne]

your kirkwall situationship just went ballistic, another major war is on the horizon, orlesian tariffs are hitting hard & you're in charge of some fucking fucks who like bloodsport & collectively drink you under the table

edit: this is from the DA art book. I didn't draw this!

[niccolites]

promise i have not disappeared off the face of the earth, just am writing an android!price au and it is KICKING my ass rn

general plot is fem!reader is married and price is their new android that her military husband gets her so someone is in the house to keep her safe while he's away. and it's dubcon bc ofc it it. excerpt below while i try to wrangle it into something salvageable lol

-

The night before Arthur comes home, you try to sort yourself out. Routine is only another day away and you crave it so bad that your mouth waters with it. You decide you’re going to speak with Arthur when he gets back, tell him that you understand why he has left John with you, but it’s just not working out.

Standing at the kitchen sink, washing clean cups again, let John stand to the side of you. You’re feeling petty, the thought of being rid of him soon filling you with a specific type of bravery. It’s like he knows, you tell yourself. That’s why he’s being so quiet. Waiting for you to speak first rather than the usual, where he lets you know what he’s going to do, as if to forewarn you to not even try.

You hear him stand, turn around just to see him adjust himself in his trousers. You frown, confused. Perhaps stare a bit too intently at his crotch. He looks back at you, amused in the way that you imagine hunters are when they hear an animal yowl in pain from a shot. “Can I help you, ma’am?” he asks.

You flush but refuse to look away from him. “Is that just something to make you seem human? I can’t imagine you actually have -” Cut yourself off. Filthy words that have never been spoken in this house. Only the sweet back and forth of you and Arthur’s routine. Would feel like a betrayal of some kind, as if Arthur will come home and hear the echoing of your foul mouth hours after, bouncing off of the walls and settling into the grain of the wood.

“You asking if I have a cock, sweetheart?” John asks, steps closer. Slippery hands clench around glass. He looks like he’s scented blood, like he wants to dart forward and finally catch you in this elaborate game that you’ve been playing that only he knows the rules to.

“Why would you? What purpose would that have?” you return, frowning at him. Disapproving, a familiar role for you, even if it is relatively passive compared to how you feel now. You feel the absurd urge to hiss at him, poison in your mouth. Feel how it burns your gums.

“Most likely a function for bored housewives,” he drawls, dark eyes intent on you.

You freeze, stare at him. You know that he isn’t supposed to speak to you like that. Know that backchat must not be some certain part of his hardwiring. He seems to be challenging you as well, watching you with that half-smirk, half-scowl of his. You tilt your hand under the hot water, let the snapping burn of your skin pull your focus away.

He clicks his tongue, as if disappointed. Feel the point of his stare on the sink. You twist your hand, the squeak of flesh against glass, grating.

Your skin turns red under the water, the flow shattering against the nerves on the back of your palm before it is suddenly stopped. You startle, heat at your side suddenly as he pulls your hands out of the sink, dries them with a gentleness that quiets you.

The hair across his knuckles tickles against the smooth of your own. He holds them, as if he just wants to. Function done, the gap between one order and the next. You stay quiet, watch him. Study him for once.

He’s openly frowning now, thumb against the blotches of red. “Be careful,” he says, suddenly, as if the temperature reading he has just read on you is not to his liking. Body twisting with displeasure. Feel him run it through his synthetic surface and into your skin, running through wiring and into your blood vessels, becomes your own.

Open your mouth to snark back, silenced when he gives you a firm look. “It’s only water,” you mutter, sullen.

“Doesn’t matter,” he barks back. Culls you. “I don’t want you near the sink.” You bristle. “Or will you wear gloves next time?” He looms over you, a threat in the size of him. The urge to behave for someone bigger than you. The way he doesn’t have to throw you around, the shift of his bicep is implicit enough.

“I’ll wear gloves,” you give in, mullish. Desperate not to be banned from the sink in your own home.

He settles with that, one last smooth over the back of your hand, leaves you feeling like static. “Good girl,” he murmurs. You hear it like a gunshot, and spend the rest of the day with music blaring in the kitchen, hoping to drown that sound out before your husband comes home and finds it in the metal of the sink.

Or worse, hears the intake of breath you emitted. Guilty.

[altcvnningham]

so i was reading this post and started yapping in the tags before deciding i actually just needed to make a separate post because i have brainworms. long unedited ramble sorry this doesn't make sense at all

adlerbell & co-dependency;

the sick irony lies in the fact that the co-dependency that exists within their relationship, most of the time, isn't even of their own volition, and yet they are the constant cause of their own entrapment. they NEED one another as much as they hate one another because they ARE each other. to their core.

bell is everything adler hates and opposes and wars against yet he NEEDS them to catch perseus no matter the cost; adler is bound to bell in a way where he is ironically beholden to them, his fate in their hands, even when he's technically the one in control, with the power and rank over them, the one holding the leash. yet without bell adler has little to nothing. powerless entirely. in that way, bell has power over him, that his whole world rests upon the pinprick that is their loyalty to him, which is a hairswidth away from being shattered the second they piece together who they are, what he's done to them.

and bell is obviously only who they are because of adler. warped god wrenching hands into their head and rearranging it all until they suit whatever he deems his perfect image when he needs it. friend, ally, team member. dog, prey, victim. whatever he needs them to be, they are.

and bell's entire personhood is adler. bell's entire world is adler. half himself, a mirror image, their head a scrambled soup of his memories and fears, of vietnam, of things that didn't happen to bell but did happen to adler, a point in time that existed but they were not a part of, not until adler dragged their body off that tarmac and forced them to be. without adler, bell is dead in trabzon, or nothing. and that kind of co-dependency is indescribable- to believe that this man is one who went through the horrors of war with you, your friend for over a decade, is one thing. but even when bell breaks free of their conditioning- to know that they are possibly only alive because he found them? to know that mk ultra, despite being the very thing that destroyed them, was the only thing that stood between them and an unmarked grave??

bell wants adler. but adler needs bell. and mf wants to stand at that fucking clifftop and claim that none of it was personal?? he created a home for bell within himself, how they trust him, rely on him, believe that he'll always pick them up- because even if not in vietnam, he did, once, in trabzon. and bell is a home to all the worst parts of himself, scraped out of him and put into the empty pit he carves out of them- his weaknesses, his fears, his trauma, his ruthlessness. (i could talk about how adler's hatred of bell might even be a reflection not only of them being the very culmination of everything he opposes, but that they're also an amalgam of every worst thing he hates about himself, but that's another post entirely.)

i just. it wasn't meant to be personal. bell was a tool for adler, and adler was just this figure meant to be imprinted on. all means to an end. but against their own volition, they rely on each other. they need each other. they are dead without each other. i think adler needs bell to make himself feel powerful. but god, if they aren't the very thing he has to tiptoe around and revere because without them he has nothing. no team, no perseus. and to bell, adler is not too far removed from a god, whether they know it or not. he made them. and i doubt the lamb wants to stray much too far from its shepherd. ugh. whatever.

don't even get me started on how their fates are inevitably intertwined. how even the narrative itself demands them be slave to each other's will. fuck everything

[phagodyke]

ep5 of true detective where they're picking thru the grass following rusts nose and marty is so intently mirroring the way he walks is actually so fucking good ik its bc he doesnt wanna trip a trap but he mimics even the unnecessary gestures like the pause and hands to his knees... theyre so inextricably synchronised and it bleeds so well into the way the show is structured up to this point. despite the emphasis on their differences in perspective, in life choices, in the paths that brought them together - they finally align for this one perfect explosive instant and in that exact same instant, the narrative mitoses into truth & the false cover theyve mutually constructed, this pretense that they are still different people, that they have been different people this whole time, even with the sudden shared awareness of their twin deep-running currents of violence they've visciously repressed to conform to the selves they present to the world & so desperately want to believe are the "real" versions of them. yeahhh

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

ME: What? I am not delusional.

ALSO ME:

[motherspores]

once again entertained by the fact that people are saying ren hasnt been quite as yaoiful or whatever this season as if he didnt say, in front of everyone and god "id happily munch on a bit of iskall thigh" and proceed to go on to imply some interesting things about said thighs and how "nice" they were on the first. fucking. day.

like that alone was enough to fill his "weird-style bisexual" quota for at least a month. we all know what an insane double entendre that is. i dont care tht the original context was cannibalism.

[avichor]

i love watching a show about death and trauma and the dehumanization of people by the top 1% just to see endless posts about ships

[epicfirestormer]

What I love about Hellboy and Abe Sapien's dynamic in the comics is that, if you came into this blind, you'd expect Abe to be the voice of reason or the straight man to Hellboy's impulsive and hotheaded personality. But no, Abe is more often than not the crazy one. Hellboy would deal with fighting evil monsters and bad guys by just sighing and getting it over with, while Abe is going rabid over tearing the creature apart when he does get into a fight. Hellboy acts like it's a 9-to-5 job and will reasonably talk things out with a guy that had nearly killed him before, Abe acts like a madman in a slaughter house and his first instinct is to shoot first kill second and ask third. They're both insane, but on completely different levels.

[goodsniff]

They're So Back ⚔️☠️🌷

Michael Cusack's YOLO is BACK. S3 is called YOLO Rainbow Trinity and it will be coming….at some point. idk! We're just all really excited to be making it!!!!

I'm art directing again B^) Can't wait to show you all it's going bonkers so far.

[my-pjo-stuff]

The day the PJO fandom stops overhyping Percy's strenght and realizes he would have died 10 times over if it weren't for the gods or other special help is the day I can die in peace.