#i’ve said it before that i wouldn’t be as annoyed by it if wlw got the same treatment in the same shows but they do Nawt

[avichor]

i love watching a show about death and trauma and the dehumanization of people by the top 1% just to see endless posts about ships

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗻𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹

paring: yelena belova x fem!reader

tag(s): nsfw, smut with no plot, needy yel

warning(s): MDNI, +18 ONLY read at your own risk, explicit wlw smut, wlw sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, kinda public sex, kinda cnc, grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 2.6k

requested?: yes, you can find the request right here

note: The winner of the poll is hereeee!! Nonnieeee, it's finally here! I really hope you like it, it was so thrilling to write this lol. Thank you, anon, for this request ily. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Love you, guys <3

requests are open! + check my rules + masterlist <3

Yelena squinted her left eye as the other one adjusted her vision through her rifle's sight.

Her mind was set on one thing only, and that was the man she was currently staring at. She didn’t know who he was, she was barely given his name and the place where she and her team would find him and that was the end of the story. She didn’t need to know more, nor that they would have let her either way.

She was supposed to take him out, making it look like an accident, a shooting, a terrorist attack. The Red Room didn’t care how, they just wanted him out of the picture and that was exactly what she was going to do.

Yelena didn’t know what she was doing, well, technically she did. But she wasn’t aware of it. She was one of the first subjects to have been tested the mind control gas on and now she had lost all senses of a moral compass. Her mind was completely clouded, full of her own thoughts but her mind wouldn’t listen to them. Her mind listened to The Red Room and did as she was told to.

“I’ve got eyes on the target,” she muttered, her voice being picked up by her team through her earpiece. “Where are my explosives?”

“We’re almost done.”

“Come on, guys. He’s about to leave, we have to be quick,” she said anxiously.

When she was given her target’s file, she was instructed to memorise his routine. The man woke up at 7am, left for work at 8. On mondays he would go out for lunch, on tuesdays he would just order something to have it delivered at work. At 7pm he would be ready to go back home, but before that he would always stop at his local cafe. It was now Yelena realised that he always did so so she could see the lovely waitress tending to his table.

And any minute now he was going to walk out the door and Yelena would pull the trigger, the bombs would go off at her command, distracting everyone and she could get a clean shot. At night the local news would communicate the tragedy, her target being the only casualty and she was sure they would claim it to be a terrorist attack or something similar, still she did not care.

“Guys, hurry the fuck up!” she couldn’t fail this mission, they couldn't fail or they will all face the consequences.

“We’re done, bombs are to explode in minus 2 minutes.”

“Roger that, let’s get this over with,” she said, adjusting her rifle aiming right at her target.

She was already annoyed, she appreciated the fact that being hidden on the rooftop of a building meant none of her partners could see her. She was almost going to lose it. Things didn't go as smoothly as she had planned but it was fine, she wouldn't fail them.

An explosion was heard a couple of metres away from her, people started shouting and running in fear afraid for their lives. Yelena watched as her target did the same, she could tell he was terrified, his eyes were wide open in horror.

She was ready to finally pull the trigger when something else got her whole attention —you.

You were running back and forth, helping people up, getting them to a safe place. She could tell you were worried and afraid, and your forehead was slightly bleeding, but that didn’t stop you from helping as many as you could. Her brows furrowed as she stared at you, her heart sinking into her tummy, her heartbeat speeding up and it felt as if someone was hammering her brain.

“Yelena, status on target,” the voice took her out of her thoughts, burying all the new emotions deep down inside.

“I’m on it,” she said, once again adjusting her rifle, this time there won’t be any inconveniences.

But she was wrong. Another bomb went off, this time a car set on fire, and you were right there watching the whole thing. You cried out loud, scared for your life. But you weren’t alone, the target was right beside you. She couldn't take a shot while you were right there. There wasn’t supposed to be any collateral damage, that was how Widows did things, the only casualty being the one who they were supposed to take out.

“Fuck!” she needed to get you out of there.

“Yelena, what’s—?”

“Lerato, I’m gonna need you to take my spot. Take him out.”

“What? But you are—”

“Do as you are told, I’ve got something to deal with,” she said, leaving the rifle on the rooftop for her partner to find.

Her eyes were set on you as she ran down to meet you. She didn’t think twice and just grabbed your hand and pulled you towards her. You were so shaken that you didn’t realise you were being pulled away by a stranger until the both of you started running away.

“What are you—? Who are you?” but Yelena wouldn’t answer you. “Hey! No, stop! Please, don’t take me. Please!”

“Just keep going,” she said, getting a firm grip on you, scared that you would run away.

The two of you stopped five blocks away from the chaos, she gently pushed you inside an abandoned building.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly, not waiting for you to freak out even more.

“I, I— I can’t breathe,” you said, gasping for air.

“Hey, it’s okay. You are safe now, it’s okay,” she got closer to you, reaching for your hand and resting it on her steady heartbeat. “Here. Focus on my heart, try to steady yours.”

“I can’t—,”

“It’s okay, just breathe,” she motioned for you to copy her as she took a deep breath in and then she breathed out.

After a minute of breathing in and out, you felt your heart beating at a regular pace again. Still you were scared of what you had just witnessed and being alone with a stranger didn’t make things better.

You cleared your throat, “why did you take me?” you ask carefully.

Her green eyes found yours, her brows were slightly burrowed. She was lost in her mind, going over the last few minutes and everything that had happened before she took you away. She didn’t know why she did that. She could have had someone take you away and she could have taken the shot. But for some reason she couldn’t quite explain, she didn’t.

She didn’t take her eyes away from you but still she didn’t answer your question.

“Lerato, did you take the shot?”

“Yes, the target's dead. Just got confirmation from Helen. We’re heading back,” she heard as the girl struggled to breathe. She was probably running. “Where are you, Yel—?”

Before she could finish, Yelena took the earpiece out, throwing it to the ground and stepping on it, losing all sort of communication with her team. Something she will regret later but now she wasn't thinking properly.

“Shot? What are you talking about? Who are you?” your tone was filled with worry and fear.

“It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise,” she smiled at you, trying to comfort you.

“What’s going on? I don’t, I don’t understand…” you sounded desperate. And you were, a fucking car exploded right in front of you, you were about to lost your shit again.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she whispered gettin closer to you. You could feel the warmth radiating from her body. “This doesn’t make any sense, I know, I’m sorry,” she dropped the tough act, wanting to be as gentle as she could with you.

“What are you—?” you swallowed hard as you watched her tug a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I just,” she licked her lips, your eyes watching her carefully. “There’s something a need to do.”

The closer Yelena got to you, the more she felt like herself again. There was something about you that just felt right. She couldn’t put her finger around it, but she felt good, you felt good and she wanted more of that. She needed more of that, of you.

Slowly but surely her lips found the soft skin of your neck, you let out a moan as soon as she made contact. You lost all sense of reality for a few seconds as she bit and kissed your sensitive skin. But then you came back to your senses and pushed her away from you.

“No. Don’t…” you said, but deep down you wanted to eat your words. “Who are you? What is this?

Yelena backed up, confusion written all over her face as she also didn’t quite know what was going on with her.

“I don’t know either, okay? This has never happened to me before but… Look, I don’t have much time, they’re probably already looking for me—.”

“Looking for you?”

She nodded, “You are doing something to me, alright? I don’t know what it is, I’m not in control,” you noticed her breathing was getting heavy. “You are doing something to me, and I— I need you…”

“You need me?”

“Will you help me out?”

“I, I don’t under—.”

“It’s okay, just do as I tell you, okay?” her voice was so soft that you just couldn’t deny her.

You could only nod at her, getting lost on her mesmerising bright eyes. Her lips found yours, in a desperate kiss, tongues fighting one against the other, her teeth bit your bottom lip, moans escaping from the both of you. You felt your body warming up under her touch and felt your tummy setting on fire as her finger squeezed the flesh on your waist.

She pressed her chest into yours, making you take a few steps back and finally you hit the cold wall, a shiver crawled up your spine. Yelena slipped her knee in between your already slightly parted thighs and gently pressed it against your clothed core.

Her fingers traced the curve of your ass to finally get into your panties, you were already wet for her and she had barely touched you. She felt like she could get used to this, to you. Seeking for both comfort and pleasure in each other, two things The Red Room had taken away from her. But maybe, with your help she could get that and more back. You groaned into her lips the moment she pushed two of her fingers inside of you.

“Shit,” you mumbled.

“You like that?”

“Yeah. Don’t stop, please,” your hips moved into her fingers, wanting her to keep on thrusting them in and out of you.

“I won’t.”

Soon enough her fingers picked up their pace and the only thing that could be her was Yelena’s finger sloppily thrusting into your cunt and the loud moans coming out of your mouth, which were quickly silenced by Yelena’s lips.

You had just met the woman and she had you almost falling to your knees. You could feel it too, she was different than any other person you had ever met before. It was as if she was intoxicating, and the only thing you wanted at the moment was to get drunk on her.

“Faster, please.”

And she did as told, like she always had. But this time she felt like she had a choice, and she chose to please you, she didn’t mind being at your mercy. She could tell you were close to your release, so she got on her knees, took your trousers and panties down and pressed her lips to your soaking wet cunt.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned out, your hand reaching out for her shoulder in some kind of support.

She bit, licked, sucked and kissed your core like a starved woman, which she was actually. She could count with her fingers all the times she had been intimate with someone else in The Red Room. She didn’t have time for things like this in there, she barely had time to take a breath.

So she enjoyed this, eating you out, getting whimpers and groans out of your pretty lips, making your legs tremble. She slipped her tongue inside of you, her nose hitting your clit and you felt like it was all becoming too much for you to handle. She felt your nails digging into her shoulders and then a second later you cried out, getting your juices all over Yelena’s lips.

Yelena moaned into your cunt and she sucked all of your juices, not wanting nor even one bit to go to waist. Once she was done, she pulled your trousers and panties back up, stood up and crashed her lips into yours, wanting for you to have a taste of yourself as well.

Your legs literally gave up on you as she kissed you, and then your butt hit the ground. Yelena took that opportunity and decided you needed to return the favour. So as best as she could, she took part of her suit off for you to work her magic on her cunt.

Yelena knew that she wasn’t going to last long, she was already so wet and on edge, she just needed some of your help to finally come. She knew you had to be quick for her to get her sweet release, so without a warning she pushed your head in between her thighs and soon enough she felt your lips beginning to work. You pushed two fingers inside of her while you sucked on her clit.

She could feel her orgasm getting closer, it was a shame she couldn’t keep this going on for a while more, but any minute now her team would be on her ass.

“Fuck, keep going,” she had your hair on her fist, helping you out.

Yelena buck her hips into your lips picking the pace and with a loud ‘fuck’ she came onto your lips. It was as if she was on cloud 9, she had never felt something like this before, not even with those few girls in The Red Room. This was new and thrilling, and she felt more like herself again. Like that little girl who was once free and unaware of the danger she was getting into. She felt like she belonged. But soon enough the happy bubble she had created for the two of you popped.

“I need you to listen carefully, okay?” she said, helping you up on your feet while the two of you tried to catch your breaths. She quickly put back her suit and cupped your cheeks to get your attention. “You need to leave. Run, run as fast as you can. Don’t look back.”

From the corner of her eyes Yelena could see some shadows getting closer, her team was there, ready to take her away.

“What? What about you? Where are you going?” your mind was rushing with thoughts, not wanting to leave the beautiful woman.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine,” she lied, but it was for the better. She needed you to be okay, she could handle The Red Room, she always had.

“No,” you protested. “Don’t leave me,” you felt tears burning your eyes.

“I’ll find you again, I promise,” she caressed your cheek one last time, leaving a peck on the corner of your lips. “Go!” she ordered you.

And so you did, leaving Yelena behind much to your dismay, unaware that she was being taken back by her team to drug her up once again. But you broke her out of the mind control, and Yelena was sure you would do it one more time. And as many times as it’d take for her to be free.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[funkii-fox]

ohmygosh i know EXACTLY who ur talking abt on that post with the self shipping hater and like mlm and wlw is better. they get on my nerves SO BAD like ive known them since 2021 or 2022 methinks but i have them blocked cuz no way u can say all that. french people amiright/j

BAHAHA well idk if u actually do, but thank god someone knows my struggle. I cant believe half the shit i read from his texts and stories bruh. Like okay buddy 👁️👄👁️

I feel like after a certain point, if an overwhelming majority of ppl dislike u, even within ur own community, even among ur closest friends, thats when u fail. Thats when u do introspection. Theres always haters trying to drag u down, but this guy has so many ppl that rightfully dislikes him for every single controversy hes ever gotten into. How is everyone else on the Earth wrong and ur the only one thats right?

And this guy knows hes abt to lose me too. Once i made a kinda vent post tht said “demons in my head: leave them before they can leave you”. It was more like a self deprecating meme, and it abt two unrelated moots. But this guy was so insecure and thought it was abt him. And every time i put a vague negative thing on my status like “wtf is wrong w this guy” he always asks abt who the note was abt, probably bc he suspects it’s abt him. Idk tho. Now that i think abt it he could be asking bc hes into drama

See, this guy is so misogynist and “ugh women this” but he LOVES drama and gossip, just like women stereotypically do. He HATES tucutes “grr bruja ari this” but his main oc looks like a girl “hes androgynous” bffr. He hates on women that self ship w ocs but he makes ocs 😭 this guy is the most giant fucking hypocrite I’ve ever seen bro

Recently he got mad at a reel in his feed and put it on his story. This reel was abt someone saying theyre only into autistic ppl, and my first thought was “same ngl there’s something wrong w neurotypicals” but this guy’s first thought was “HURRR DURR STOP SEXUALIZING AUTISTICS” …the ENTIRE comment section was the op fighting for their life bc theyre autistic and for some reason everyone thought they were neurotypical. And that tells me that this guy saw the post and immediately got mad and posted it to his story. Not even looking into the comments to see if his judgment was right💀

I remember he used to flirting w me. He got the fucking hint by now, but it was sooooo annoying 😭 u can tell he was hoping so bad that i would reciprocate his sexual “jokes” and it was awkward asf when i wouldn’t. I wonder if he thought he was sexy to me bc hes French. Like he assumes the accent was enough to pull me 😭 even tho ive stated a lot (not necessarily to him but in general) that im not looking for any romantic or sexual relationship w anyone rn 💀 i think the worst prt is that i dont hate sexual jokes between friends, but if i send these funny sexual memes hes gonna think i want some. Like no thanks :|

[kim-ruzek]

Girl Crush

Summary: This time, Sylvie does not laugh at the bluntness of Kim’s words, instead blushing a fierce shade of pink. She was only half looking at Kim when she said those words, but now Sylvie looks at the other woman more directly. She is greeted by Kim looking at her—although, maybe staring would be more accurate. It’s an intense look, a look her friend has never given her before, a look that says that maybe Kim doesn’t want to be just her friend tonight.

Or; at the end of 3x23, Sylvie doesn't go home with Roman-- but instead with Kim. And gets the fucking she deserves.

Warnings: Smut, smut, smut. This is just my excuse to give Sylvie the orgasm she deserves and the one she clearly did not get with Ratman. And so there's also Roman bashing bc Roman is trash.

Word Count: 4.5k

Read on AO3

Notes: For @gilbxrt-blythe bc Abby started™ something in my mind on Sunday, thus leading me to writing this all yesterday bc,,, our girls deserve so much better than Sean Roman and this fandom needs more wlw content. Let's save our darling girls!!

Someone’s hooking up tonight.

Chili’s words go around in Sylvie’s head all night. Largely, she ignores them—or rather, tries to—just focusing on the beer she’s sipping faster than usual and the joyous atmosphere in the bar but there’s those moments it creeps into her thoughts.

Her PIC is right about one thing, the thing she said about volcanoes. The firehouse has been so tense of late and she can tell that a weight has been lifted off them, and Sylvie thinks that’s quite like a volcano. But she—perhaps, stubbornly—refuses to admit Chili might be right about the hooking up part.

If anyone was to know Sylvie’s thoughts, know that she’s trying, more vehemently that she should, to deny that, they question why. To which Sylvie would just claim that it’s because she hates gossiping about her co-workers, people who are her friends are family, and that she doesn’t like speculating on their sex lives.

Sylvie even tried to insist this to herself, not that it works. How can it when she can feel her toes curl slightly at the thought of just... Throwing everything to the wind and just enjoying some pure, unadulterated primal ecstasy. That she finds herself subconsciously looking around the bar, as if she’s trying to find a suitable candidate.

She has always felt the weight of her friends’ turmoil so heavily. Empathetic to the core, her father said, when he grinned at her becoming a paramedic, telling her it’s what she was born to do. She likes it, she does. She likes caring about those important to her, to care about anyone who’s a decent human—and even those who aren’t—but it gets tiring, feeling the weight of their unhappiness on her shoulders.

It’s not even like she was directly wrapped up in the drama going around in the house, but it was so intense—a volcano getting ready to burst. And something tells her that she won’t be able to shake it off with just getting drunk amongst her friends.

“Hey, Brett,” Sylvie looks to her left, seeing Sean Roman slip into the seat beside her. The paramedic smiles at him, ever polite, turning so she’s more face on to him. He was close to her before she shifted, and she thought that would be annoying, if he wanted to converse.

Only, Sylvie quickly gets that he doesn’t have talking on mind.

The patrol officer is quick to close the space between them again, shifting himself and resting a hand on the back edge of her seat. She could get away if she wanted, but it gives off a certain trapped vibe, a vibe that shows exactly the kind of intentions Roman has.

There’s a twist of uncomfortableness in her stomach. Roman is sort of attractive, she guesses, although she doesn’t know if she’d fully trust her taste in men yet; there being too many wrongly stacked choices compared to the right. But even if he was the hottest specimen she had ever seen, there’s something off putting about his approach, leaving her with the impression he doesn’t want her to move away from him.

But there’s that volcano inside her, wanting to explode, and the alcohol is already coursing through her veins, so despite the sober parts of her brain metaphorically screwing up its nose at the officer, Sylvie doesn’t attempt to move again, instead leaning on her arm, interested in whatever he has to say.

“I’ve got a few more interesting stories like that, if you want to hear more?” Roman smiles hungrily at her, his eyes making her feel like a piece of meat. He had just finished telling her an amusing story from patrol and she gets the impression that’s his hook, and that now he’s trying to reel her in.

“The bar’s a bit loud, though. So we should go back to mine,” There it is, the beginning of the reel. He’s looking hopeful at her, and there’s an attempt to look appealing, sexy. It doesn’t work, but Sylvie finds herself shrugging, thinking that she could do a lot worse that Sean Roman.

“Hey, Sylvie. Roman.” Before she can agree, Kim appears, seemingly out of nowhere.

The brunette is on the other side of her, her arm lightly touching her as she greets them. In a way, Kim is affectively penning Sylvie in like her partner did, but it doesn’t make her stomach twist in that same uncomfortable way. There’s some meaning to that, she knows, but she doesn’t bother to reflect on what.

“Hey, Burgess.” Roman seems irked. He’s looking at her rather rudely, and Sylvie doesn’t like that. She cares about her friends and Kim is one of her first Chicago friends who doesn’t work with her. So she grins at her a little wider then she already would, wrapping her arms around the other officer.

“Hey, Kim!” If Roman picks up on the pointedness in Sylvie’s tone, he doesn’t let on.

“Hi,” Kim smiles at her again, repeating a greeting before continuing and Sylvie must be a little more tipsy than she thought because her mind is immediately drawn to how pretty Kim looks when she smiles. “Chili had to leave early and asked me if I could drive you home instead. She said sorry, but there was a cute guy who she needed to know a bit better,”

Sylvie knows instantly that Kim is lying. Chili asked no such thing, considering she wanted to get absolutely wasted tonight and had no intention of driving herself home, let alone Sylvie. This lie is an anchor, a get out of jail card, a bailout. For who, she doesn’t know—doesn’t think that she’s too drunk to need it, but she takes it anyway.

“Oh, she promised she wouldn’t!” Sylvie goes along with the lie Kim has spun. “I’m sorry for inconveniencing you,”

“Eh. It’s no problem.” Kim shrugs her off with a wave of a hand.

“I was actually about to leave myself. I can take Brett, you can just relax. That way I can continue telling her some patrol stories,” Roman inserts himself back in the conversation but Kim has no patience for him.

“We’re partners, I can tell her the stories. C’mon, Sylvie, let’s go.” Kim gently encourages Sylvie up. There’s a disappointment at not being able to expend all this tension away, but girl code is more important, and girl code is telling her to go with Kim.

“We have to walk around the block—I don’t actually have my car, so we’ll have to call a taxi.” Kim tells her when they leave Molly’s, arms linked. Neither of them are anything more than tipsy, but Sylvie finds herself giggling at her words.

“Then why did you drag me out? Was a guy bothering you?” She asks.

“Oh, trust me, I did that for you. You’d regret that so much tomorrow. The guy’s my partner and all, but he... I was on patrol with his ex. Going there—that wouldn’t give you any sort of satisfaction.” Kim explains, and Sylvie widens her eyes, giggling again.

“Really?” The irony of Sylvie spending the evening denying that she cares about gossip saying this, leaning in with intrigue, is not lost on her.

“Jenn didn’t say anything outright but... I asked why she got engaged so quickly and she expressed that he—her fiancé—is very talented with his tongue, if you get what I mean. I inferred the rest. A man who won’t eat out his girl is not a man worth your time.” Kim says very manner of fact, and Sylvie laughs at it, the brunette joining in shortly after.

“It’s the truth!” Kim insists through her laughter. They’ve walked around the corner, now, Kim quickly dialling for a taxi through her laughs.

“My ex fiancé never did.” Sylvie confesses when their laughter died down. Kim lifts an eyebrow.

“Never?”

“Never. He said it was disgusting. Didn’t stop him wanting me to suck him, though.” Sylvie can’t help the bitter edge to her words, thinking about Harrison and thinking about how she could waste her time on him. Kim, evidently, thinks the same.

“Life is too short for those kinds of men.” Kim says. Her words are assured, confident, just a statement and Sylvie just hums in response, thinking that Kim probably never wasted years like she did.

“Hey, Sylvie. I don’t mean that like... You deserve so much better.” Kim picks up on her sudden drop of mood. “I don’t know why we lower ourselves for arses like that, but you deserve so much better. Better than people like Harrison and Roman.”

“So do you—if your exes never..?” Sylvie quickly adds on and Kim lets out a snort.

“Oh yeah. I’ve dated my fair share of arseholes.” She nods. “I don’t know why they’re like this. You’re so pretty, I don’t know how anyone could want to fuck you and not completely worship you.”

This time, Sylvie does not laugh at the bluntness of Kim’s words, instead blushing a fierce shade of pink. She was only half looking at Kim when she said those words, but now Sylvie looks at the other woman more directly. She is greeted by Kim looking at her—although, maybe staring would be more accurate. It’s an intense look, a look her friend has never given her before, a look that says that maybe Kim doesn’t want to be just her friend tonight.

It deepens Sylvie’s blush.

The air between them immediately shifts, and it feels almost so natural, Sylvie finds herself questioning whether the air always felt this thick and charged. The air is heavy, and there’s this certain kind of electricity between them; an electric energy of sorts that reminds her of when she was eighteen and her friends and her caught a ride into the nearest big town and snuck into the club—and of Sylvie waiting outside for her friends after and sharing her first—and only—kiss with a girl.

“That’s cos we’re women, though? We know what we want.” Sylvie tries to push all those thoughts aside.

Tries to ignore what she feels building in the air—because surely, it’s just in her mind? Just because she was thinking about throwing caution to the wind and having a night of passionate, explosive sex—and tries to not focus on how pretty Kim looks, how she looks like she’s the best and worst decision she could ever make wrapped up in one.

On how Kim is looking at her with such intense eyes, almost hungry eyes, eyes that says she wants to be one of those men.

“That’s not just why. I wouldn’t just eat you out until you come screaming because I’m a woman, I’d do it because I want to make you come undone at my doing—like you deserve.” Kim’s words sends pulsating throbs through her body, and she can feel herself getting turned on, her body feeling like Kim has just found the secret code to her with just her words. Sylvie stares at Kim, with shock.

“You... I... What?” Sylvie splutters, unsure of what exactly Kim is saying.

“I’m just saying. You’re hot, Brett. I can see why Roman tried.” There’s a pause. “I’m not trying to ruin our friendship. Tell me if I’m wrong, that I’m not picking up on some things and I’ll shut up and just get you home. But if I’m right, I’ll fuck you right.”

“I...” Sylvie is facing Kim dead on, now, the space between them feeling like too much, electric and heavy. It’s dark, the only light being the street lamp. But it catches the side of Kim’s face, lighting it up in such a pretty way and it stirs something deep and primal inside her.

The dark, positively hungry eyes Kim is looking at her with doesn’t help, either. It’s not like earlier, with Roman, it doesn’t make her feel like a piece of meat. It makes her feel like she’s the world’s most precious delicacy and that Kim would give her left arm just to get a taste.

“You’re right.” The words are barely out of her mouth when Kim is closing the space between them. One of her arms slips around the blonde’s waist, pulling her flush to her, the other gently resting on the bend of Sylvie’s neck as she kisses her.

Kim’s lips are soft, her touch gentle. The kiss starts off slow, although Sylvie wouldn’t have thought it with the way her body immediately responds, aching and her heart beating. But then Kim deepens the kiss, encouraging her mouth to open wider, slipping in her tongue. Sylvie responds eagerly, her arms wrapping around Kim, practically grabbing hold of her so she can return the kiss more fiercely.

If this was a preview into the abilities of Kim’s tongue, Sylvie doesn’t think that she’ll have to work her long before—to use Kim’s words—Sylvie’s coming undone at her doing.

When the taxi arrives, honking it’s horn on the two, busy kissing each other like they’re the only people in the world, the alcohol running through their veins and their and respective tiring days edging them on, making them so filled with want for this, they pull apart, out of breath, chest heaving.

They share smiles, little light-hearted giggles as they pull apart, climbing into the taxi. Kim opens the door, grabbing at Sylvie’s hand as she does so before moving swiftly out the way so she can climb in first.

They don’t make out in the taxi. They’re not even jammed up too close together, their bodies just turned towards each other. They are close enough for them to still have their hands interlocked, although it’s more like their arms at places and for their feet to lightly tap at the other’s, playing a footsy kind of game but they’re friends, they shared a taxi before, they’ve even had this ease of physical contact before.

Sylvie would almost wouldn’t be able to tell that the line between friends and lovers had been blurred for tonight, if it wasn’t for the electric energy between them, from how Sylvie’s just waiting until they can get back to hers, and how whenever Kim moves her fingers up and down her arm, gently running against her skin, it feels like little shocks.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to yours,” Kim says as Sylvie leads her up the stairs. They’re deviating between holding hands and not, joking around as they make their way. Sometimes Kim’s spinning ahead of her, their hands dropping from their grip, and sometimes Sylvie is.

“We have only known each other a year and we have busy jobs.” Sylvie points out. Kim sticks out her tongue playfully and Sylvie has to stop herself from capturing it, and kissing Kim again. “This is me.”

Sylvie goes in first, opening her front door and placing her keys in her pot. Kim follows, and Sylvie watches as the brunette kicks off her shoes immediately, shrugging off her coat. For someone who’s never been here before, Kim fills the air with a confidence and it only fuels Sylvie’s need, her own confidence as the volcano erupts.

With a swift kick, Sylvie shuts her door and then her hands are on Kim, pulling her close. She grabs her hand, stopping her from moving further away from her, pulling her to her and capturing her lips in a kiss.

“Hm,” Kim moans against her, kissing her with a casual, yet urgent force. The melodic hum is tinted in amusement, and she pulls away briefly, to Sylvie’s disappointment. “So, we’re going straight to this? Aren’t even going to ask if I want a beer?”

Her words are said in an amused tone, but Sylvie still finds herself blushing, cursing herself slightly.

“Oh. Right. Sorry. Do you—” She’s interrupted by Kim kissing her.

“You’re so easy to tease. Don’t worry, I don’t want anything to drink. Eat, maybe.” Sylvie goes to panic again but then she sees the glint sparkling away in her eye and she blushes, getting the play on words.

“Hm, well there’s only one thing on the menu if you’re,” she pauses, “Hungry,”

Sylvie could swear that Kim licks her lips but then the brunette is kissing her again and all thoughts go out of her head, the only thing on her mind being the taste of Kim and getting her to her bedroom as soon as she can.

Neither of them are determined to disconnect from one another for long, not even in the interest in getting to her bed unscathed from injuries. Kim hits into the sofa and Sylvie nearly trips over something she left on the floor, but the two stay touching, kissing each other hungrily and needily.

Sylvie would love to say that she savoured the moment Kim took off her top, but any clothes removed is done hastily, urgently, the clothes feeling too much, too intrusive. All Sylvie can do is give Kim a quick, appreciative look over after she tosses off her top.

Although, she thinks, that could do more with that Kim then helps her get her top off, and rewards her with her lips on her neck immediately after.

“There,” Sylvie manages to gasp out, pointing at which door is her bedroom’s, as Kim pushes her up against her wall, attacking her neck, nipping and sucking at the flesh. She’s going to have a mark there tomorrow, but tonight, tonight she doesn’t care, just tilting her head aside for her to have more access, her hands just grabbing at Kim as she does so.

Despite the urgency to get this far into her apartment, Kim has apparently decided they don’t need to finish the stretch right now, focusing on kissing along her collarbone, back up along her neck and jawline, stealing kisses from her lips before heading back down. She doesn’t go too far down with her kisses, but it’s enough to send Sylvie’s mind haywire, especially when she brushes along with her teeth.

All Sylvie can do is grab at Kim’s hair, the other hand resting on her waist, running up and down her back with her nails and moan at the kisses, grasping at her. One of Sylvie’s legs loops around Kim’s in a kind of way, pulling her lower body closer to her own, in the perfect place for Sylvie to grind against, needing to alleviate some tension.

It’s only when Kim’s hand snakes away from it’s current position and runs along the waistband of her jeans, deftly undoing her button and slipping inside does Sylvie gasp, pushing at Kim slightly. Kim’s hand is still cold from the cool Chicago night air, and Sylvie can feel the cold as Kim runs her hand against the cotton of her panties, lightly brushing over her throbbing clit.

“Bedroom. Kim, bedroom,” Sylvie gasps.

“Hm. Impatient, are we?” Kim grins at her, and Sylvie can’t help comparing it to a wolf looking at it’s prey. The brunette is so sweet and kind, Sylvie never would’ve guessed that she was like this—so confident and devious—in the bedroom. Or, rather, the hallway. But Sylvie wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kim steps away from Sylvie then, and she immediately misses the warmth of her body, and her hand's presence from where it was so close to where she wants—no, needs—her. She’s going into Sylvie’s bedroom, beckoning the blonde to follow.

Sylvie is starting to rather feel like putty in Kim’s hands, and she’s never been a passive participant in her sex life—well, except when she lets men (Harrison) rule how she should be—and she’s not about to start.

She follows Kim on through, and she already has an advantage knowing the layout of her bedroom. Sylvie’s hands are on Kim again, and she’s leading, practically pushing, Kim to her bed, the brunette having no choice but to lie down on it, Sylvie immediately straddling her.

“Not a very good cop, are you?” Sylvie teases her, and when Kim goes to protest, she grinds down slightly, knowing exactly where it’ll cause friction. It has the desired effect, Kim moaning, her eyes fluttering shut slightly. Her hands are resting of Sylvie’s hips, and they go up then, stroking at the soft skin of her stomach.

“Bra, off. Now,” Kim says, running a hand along the edge of the bra. Sylvie grins wickedly at her, wondering why Kim ever thought she still had the upper hand, to doll out an order.

“Yes. That’s a good idea.” Sylvie shifts down Kim slightly, resting more weight on her own kneeled legs, allowing for Kim to sit up. The brunette clearly thinks it’s so she can help Sylvie with the bra, but Sylvie catches her hands, stopping her, and instead undoes Kim’s bra.

Sylvie’s never been intimate with a woman like this. There’s been those dreams—day dreams and actual dreams—that she spent a while trying to ignore, and thinking she’ll never act upon. But she’s never, physically, been with one and whereas her confidence has gotten her this far, she falters as Kim takes off her bra.

There’s that hesitation, that hesitation that she wants Kim—needs Kim—that this is exactly how she wants to explode tonight, but there’s that knowledge that she’s inexperienced in this, hitting her as she’s confronted with Kim’s naked chest.

“Is this too much?” Kim picks up straight away that Sylvie is having a moment, her eyebrows furrowing, turning concerned. “We can stop or just make out. Whatever you want—consent still applies with two women, y’know, and I won’t mind.”

Sylvie looks at her, Kim’s voice so gentle and caring, her big, brown eyes only filled with concerned, and something inside her throbs and Sylvie’s hesitation wears off as she realises that there’s nothing to be intimidated by, and Kim won’t mind if she has to guide her a little.

“Nah, I’m just taking your beauty in.” Sylvie jokes, before adding more seriously, “This is exactly what I want, Kim.”

“Good.” Kim smiles. “Because I’m feeling that we should even things here.”

Sylvie should’ve know that Kim would take off her bra as soon as she could, the brunette raking her eyes greedily over her body. She grabs at Sylvie’s thighs, positioning her in a way that she can sit on her and they can kiss with ease.

Kim doesn’t spend long kissing her lips before she’s travelling again, her fingers gently tracing patterns on her back as she kisses down her neck, collarbone, going between kisses and nips. Sylvie tries to adjust herself so that she can kiss the dip of Kim’s shoulder as she does so, but Kim tries her hardest to stop any attempts, not wanting to be restricted in her own explorations.

When Kim’s mouth gets to her chest, she pauses. Sylvie has barely any time to wonder what will happen next when Kim’s hand is palming one breast, making her gasp in surprise. The brunette lifts her mouth from her body, instead taking advantage of her agape mouth, kissing her deep. And then she’s moving them, laying Sylvie down, shifting who’s winning this lustful game of cat and mouse they’re playing.

Kim doesn’t straddle her like Sylvie did earlier, just making them vertical, Kim between her legs. She’s squeezing her breast again, and then her mouth is around the other’s nipple, rolling her tongue around it, and Sylvie lets out a loud moan she’d almost be embarrassed about if it didn’t feel so good. Kim works her like this for god knows how long before switching.

And then Kim is once again pulling away and Sylvie pouts, to Kim’s amusement.

“Don’t worry, baby,” Kim coos at her. “I’m just taking off your jeans so I can fuck you with my mouth.”

Sylvie never knew hearing Kim swear could sound so hot.

“Your jeans too. I was you as naked as I am,” She doesn’t know how she still has brain power to compose thoughts, focused so much on the needy ache in her body.

Kim steps off the bed so that she can shimmy off her jeans. Her panties match the bra she was wearing and Sylvie couldn’t even describe how much that made her desire spike. She wonders if Kim was working today and if she changed before going to Molly’s—curious to know if Kim wore such lacy stuff to work.

Surely not? Sylvie sure as hell doesn’t, let alone wearing a matching set.

“Like what you see?” Kim flirts before climbing back onto the bed, immediately getting to work on helping Sylvie get off her own jeans. There’s a moment when they’re off that Sylvie gets momentarily self conscious of her near-naked body, but then Kim’s running a finger along her panties again, pressing down on her clit through the fabric.

The sound it elicits from her is a mix between a gasp, moan and whine.

“Kim,” Sylvie practically begs as she releases the pressure, resuming to gentle barely there strokes as she returns her mouth to her breasts, collarbone and neck. Kim seems to get the message because then she’s—with skill that makes Sylvie wonder just how many times Kim has done this—hooking her fingers around her panties and taking them off.

She doesn’t hesitate to resume her actions, now without the fabric in the way. Kim dips a finger inside her, her thumb brushing against her clit with differentiating levels of pressure and Sylvie can’t help but shut her eyes and moan at the sensation, Kim working her with her talented fingers.

“You’re so wet,” Kim whispers into her ear, nibbling against her jawline before adding another finger. She laughs hotly against her as Sylvie tightens, squeezing Kim’s fingers. She’s just about used to the feeling, and the motions, a pressure inside her building, but then Kim’s pulling them out and she’s whining.

And then Kim’s pulling away from her, and Sylvie just about opens her eyes, lifting up her head, in time to see down her body, looking devilishly. And then Kim’s licking her and it’s everything she’s wanted, needed, and her head is falling back down. Kim works her with her mouth, and all Sylvie can think is about how indeed, Kim is mightily skilled with her tongue.

The tension in Sylvie builds quickly, fast approaching her orgasm, Kim lapping at her and using her fingers to add that extra sensation, rubbing and pinching, alternating between making she’s in place and fondling her breasts and Sylvie’s gripping at her covers, gasping and whining as she writhes, overwhelmed at the sensations.

All thoughts have left her mind, and all Sylvie can focus on is the quick approaching climax, not caring about how lost in it she must be—not caring how loud she’s being, how unfiltered and uncontrolled she is, just focused on how good Kim is making her feel.

And then she reaches her climax, Kim is taking her over and she gets her wish—it’s everything Sylvie has needed, and she screams, full of ecstasy, her body overcome with sensation, toes curling as she comes around Kim’s tongue, the brunette continuing to lap at her, guiding her through her orgasm.

“That...” Sylvie pants as soon as she can. “That—exactly what I needed.”

It’s not perfect grammar, but she thinks Kim gets it, if how she smiles and moves so she’s cuddling against Sylvie, is any indication.

[spiral-ingoutofcontrol]

Where the Ocean is the Sky Part One: Memory

A/N: AHHH happy pride month! I’ve been sitting on this plot for a while and I figured, what better time to start posting a wlw wizard101/pirate101 crossover than pride month? This part is just shy of 1800 words and I hope y’all like it!

xxx

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Andy mumbled to Captain Avery as they watched Madame Vadima peer over her cauldron. His expression was distorted by the candlelight of Vadima’s enclave, but she could still see that distinctive grin. Nothing ever made that man happier than knowing that he was winning.

He scoffed, not even sparing her a glance. “You’ve had nothing but gold in your eyes since I told you how much the client is paying.”

Andy’s eyes stayed trained on Vadima as the woman dropped what looked like batacuda eyes into the potion she was weaving. Ew. “Maybe we should take some time to rethink the Grizzleheim angle.”

“You can’t sneak into a small community like that. They’d have you made in a second. The client said that this would work.”

She tried to keep her face from scrunching up in disgust at the way he talked down to her. Years building up her reputation and Avery still talked to her like he did when she first came stumbling onto the island, wide-eyed and on the run from the Armada. They were gone now, thanks to her, and Avery still refused to speak to her like she was an adult. The only time he even acknowledged what she’d done- not only for him, but most of the damn spiral- was when he wanted something from her. Clearly he knew she was one the best. He just refused to actually say it. Subodai was convinced that he had a grudge because she had clearly surpassed his own skill level. Bonnie Anne thought that he was just an asshole and Andy couldn’t help but agree with the fox.

“Still,” Andy argued, watching Vadima sprinkle crushed cammun root over the mixture. “I’m not exactly in the habit of trusting people that won’t even tell me their real name. Or you.”

Avery let out a boisterous laugh at the last bit, clapping her on the shoulder. “Scared that I made this all up to poison you?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“It is ready,” Vadima announced, catching their attention. “And it is not poison.”

Andy took a step toward the cauldron. What had once been the clear blue water of skull island had turned into a thick, silvery liquid that shimmered as it reflected the lights around it. A large bubble rose slowly to its surface and popped. It looked more like liquid metal than something that was actually ingestible. Still, if there was something she’d learned over the last few years on the island, it was to never doubt Madame Vadima.

She sniffed the potion slightly. Cammun root. Figured.  “So I drink this and it’ll make me look like a ghost?”

Vadima looked unimpressed with her question. “It will mask your life force and allow me to transport you through the spirit’s realm.”

“So a ghost, got it.” She glanced over at Avery, the wisps of a nervous expression on her face. “This is a lot of work for some old man’s staff.”

“It’s a lot of work for a lot of money, which we’re splitting 50/50.”

Andy rolled her eyes at his last minute attempt to renegotiate. “Nice try. 70/30, my favor. And don’t think I forgot to tell my crew that you agreed to still give them work while I’m gone.”

“The Steel Heart’s crew still has a contract, Captain,” he replied with a sigh. “Although I would have preferred you to hand the reins over to someone other than that wretched fox.”

“We need to act before it begins to boil.”

She smirked at him with pride. She might have done that on purpose. “You’ll get over it.”

Andy looked back over at the woman and the potion at her interruption. “Right.”

Quickly but carefully, she began to remove anything that would immediately identify her as a pirate. Her hat, coat, and vest all had to go, leaving her in a loose white shirt and her tight fitting pants. Her weapons belt was the last thing she removed, tentatively placing it in Avery’s open palm. Andy suddenly felt a lot more vulnerable than she’d been in a long time.

“I’m coming back for those, Avery.”

“Of course you are, Captain.” 

If she was more naïve she might have thought that he was trying to reassure her, but she knew that he was only assuring himself. He was sending one of his best contractors into unknown territory unarmed and underprepared. This was a big job and they knew next to nothing about it. Andy didn’t even know how she was going to get back home once she stole the staff that Avery’s buyer was looking for. She had no idea how long it would take her to case the joint, form a plan, and wait for the right moment to execute it. The only thing that was certain was that she was going to be gone for a while. It crossed her mind, as Vadima handed her the silver coated ladle, that this might be a convoluted plan to get rid of her without outright killing her. She pushed the thought from her mind, spoon raised to her lips. Avery loved money more than anything else, and she was probably his most reliable supplier of it. He’d sent her on plenty of death defying missions before. She would be fine.

Despite it’s strange list of ingredients, Vadima’s mixture tasted oddly like vanilla. She never really understood magic, and she didn’t intend to learn. She was perfectly fine with shooting, slicing, and leaving all of the mystical nonsense to others. The vanilla bit at her tongue.

“You should feel it begin to take effect-”

Andy lurched toward Avery as a wave of lightheadedness washed over her. She watched his arms reach out to catch her but never felt his hands. The only thing she could sense was the cold. Like a freezing hand was wrapped tightly around her heart and was dragging her through a thick pool of water. She couldn’t tell seconds from hours. It felt like everything was happening in the blink of an eye and in the passing of days at the same time. Then her lungs started to scream. They were collapsing and being filled to their bursting point at the same time. She moved her arms wildly, searching for some kind of purchase, but there was no way to know up from down. Her hand found a piece of stone that was so cold that it burned, but it was firm. Strong. She pulled herself up.

Andy coughed and sputtered as she hit the cobblestone pavement, fighting to regulate her breathing. She could vaguely register the screams around her as she popped out of seemingly nowhere, but she couldn’t be bothered to take in any of her surroundings. The icy darkness of the spirit’s realm was clashing hard against the heat of this world’s sun and her body was going into shock. It had happened before- deadly injuries were common in her line of work- but she had had her crew with her then. People that she trusted. All she had here was a group of strangers staring at her with wide eyes.

“Give her some room!” Andy didn’t see who said it, too busy dying on the sidewalk. Someone gently took her head in their hands, resting her on their kneeling thighs. All Andy could make out of their face was the way that the sun streamed around them like a halo. Her vision began to blacken. And that’s when her savior started to hum.

It was soft and airy, a melodic tune that she didn’t recognize but felt oddly familiar. The song was calming in an unexplainable way, Andy could feel her heartbeat begin to slow and breaths even out as the woman continued her song, fingers resting lightly on her temples. Warmth radiated from the girl’s fingertips and it tasted like oranges on Andy's tongue. Magic. It had that same powerful tinge as Vadima’s potion, but where the potion was sour, this magic was sweet. Like indulging in Karamellian chocolate on a blissful summer night.

The feeling tapered out as the girl stopped humming and removed her hands. Andy took the opportunity to sit up, fingers running through the tangles in her hair once as she turned to look at the girl with the sickly sweet magic. She thickly swallowed as she finally got a good look at her savior. The girl's long dark tresses and light brown skin stood in direct contrast to Andy’s pale hands and fiery red hair. Her angel’s soft, symmetrical features were almost as ethereal as her eyes, big and brown, with just a hint of gold running around the edges. Andy felt like she couldn’t breathe again, but this time in a way that made her heart sing instead of seize.

“Are you alright?” Even the way she spoke made Andy feel dizzy.

“I . . .” she tried to speak but came out as only a breathy whisper. “Thank you.”

The brunette smiled at her sympathetically before placing her hands on her own thighs and pushing herself into a standing position. And just like that the spell was broken. Andy needed to get it together. This was a mission. She was here to steal something, not stare doe-eyed at the first beautiful woman she ran into.

“Alright, show’s over everyone. Get to where you’re going.” Footsteps started around them along with a few annoyed groans as the crowd began to disperse. The girl reached a hand down and Andy gingerly took it, letting the girl help her to her feet. Andy swayed purposefully as she stood, stumbling into the taller girl’s chest like she was still dizzy. It worked like a charm, the girl quickly wrapping her hands around Andy’s shoulders and looking at her with concern. “Let’s find you a place to sit down.”

“By Bartleby, Nora, what’s going on out here?” Andy’s head swiveled to the new voice, taking in the old, bearded man who was wearing the most ridiculous set of clothes the pirate had ever seen. His blue star-spotted robes looked like pajamas and his hat seemed to defy the laws of physics to balance on top of his wrinkling head. In his left hand he held a staff that clearly doubled as a walking stick, the golden head curling around  a glowing blue orb. She recognized that staff. Avery had shown a drawing of it to her three days ago when she agreed to take this job. “Who is this?”

The girl- Nora looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to tell them her name. Andy’s mouth went dry. “I- I don’t know.”

[tuiyla]

So I finally watched The Owl House

I wish I’d do this with every show I watch but it seems like only a lucky few get the She-Ra style rant of love treatment. Well, I finally watched The Owl House after my dash having been flooded for the past couple of weeks and I have some thoughts. Slight spoilers below.

First off, I love the whole vibe. I had a faint idea that this show would be about magic but I didn’t know much before watching - except for one thing, we’ll get back to that. The way it builds its world and deals with magic, though, is so refreshing. And I just have to mention here that I laughed out loud at all the Harry Potter jabs, they were hilarious. I expect we’ll learn much more about magic and its users as the show goes on but as far as the first season goes the introduction was really solid. It strikes the right balance between leaving things to the imagination but being more than “wave wand and magic happens”. It’s colourful, it’s creative, and I even like the ovens and school tracks, despite knowing that the story is about not conforming to those. It makes the Boiling Isles unique and make me want to learn more about the world even beyond the characters and the main plot.

TOH also presents a world that’s much more macabre than I was expecting from the Disney Channel, not that that’s a bad thing. I found myself thinking of Adventure Time at certain points and pondering, at scary moments, how kids would react. I think kids love this, though, and besides, nothing can be more scarring than Courage the Cowardly Dog was. It’s not that terrifying, of course, just daring enough to stand out. Overall the show has what I would classify as more of a Cartoon Network vibe than a Disney Channel one, but I admittedly haven’t really been following many Disney shows. In any case, I dig it. I dig the weird creatures and the beautiful backgrounds and I appreciate how alive the Boiling Isles feel. It doesn’t take long for TOH to immerse you in its world so I’m for one am hooked.

I make a big deal of loving the world itself because rarely does it happen that world-building stands out to me so soon in a series. I do love carefully constructed fantasy worlds but for the most part I’m more interested in the characters themselves. Here, I’d say it’s close to being a 50-50, which is something that even Avatar can’t say with its elemental masterclass in world-building (which is mostly because the character depth there is unrivaled but still). So yeah, kudos to The Owl House for achieving this. From Luz’s glyph magic to the covens and the titans, I’m excited to explore this world more.

Now, the characters. The real meat of any story. Starting with Luz, I have seen some criticism that she’s a generic hero so far, the “I’m a weirdo”, heart of gold, upbeat variety. I don’t think this makes her bland, though I do admit that being told over and over again that she’s weird makes me less engaged, even she’s also shown to be weird. I like the message of her arc and that the chosen one trope was deconstructed almost right away. I like that she’s relentlessly enthusiastic and kind to people and I like that she doesn’t have to get more bitter in order to get development. Instead, she learns from her mistakes but keeps being herself and brings her unique spirit to the Boiling Isles. We need protagonists like Luz, not just because she’s latina and bisexual but because her learning process doesn’t involve cynicism. Sure, there is a lot she needs to learn but her heart is presented as an asset and a sort of source of magic. I’m excited to see where her story goes, for sure.

I’m gonna write briefly about the other characters before I get to my favourite one. Eda is super cool and I quickly got over the fact that she’s not Beatrice Horseman, lol. She embodies such a youthful energy but the show also allows her to be a middle-aged woman comfortable in her own body - well, owl curse notwithstanding. Also, her relationship with Lilith is one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Eda subverts so many of the mentor’s traditional tropes and I’m here for it. I kinda thought she was the villain based on her design and when I didn’t know anything about the show but hey, happy she’s not.

I don’t think I’d even seen a picture of King before starting to watch the series and at first I thought I’d get tired of him real quick. He’s the type of character who can get really annoying instead of endearing really fast if he’s not given any depth or charm, both by way of writing and voice acting. Luckily, I ended up liking King and his antics. His design is indeed adorable and Alex Hirsch is a genius. The only time I felt like he went too far was, perhaps surprisingly, in the book writing episode, “Sense and Insensitivity”, but even there going too far was the point. So yeah, King’s also great, there’s much potential in his backstory and general character.

Alright so really quickly, other characters: Willow and Gus are generic best friend characters and though they already have other things going on, I expect more development as the series progresses. I like that Willow is actually super powerful, just not in the way people expected her to and Gus is clearly also talented despite being younger. I’d be happy to see more of the other kids, get more familiar with Hexside. Edric and Emira are fun characters but they were really shitty in their first episode so I was kind of surprised they weren’t more of a nuisance to Amity later on. I’m all for supportive siblings so I wouldn’t mind a good relationship between the three but I feel like it’s more complicated than that with the Blights.

Finally, I also have to mention that Hooty is... well, quite something, isn’t he. Much like with King, I thought he’d be much more annoying but somehow the show is self-aware enough that it makes Hooty tolerable. I’m almost always torn between feeling sorry for him and being thoroughly weirded out, and I think that’s the intention? It’s fitting that he’s the titular character as he embodies the tone of The Owl House well in my eyes. He’s there for the comedy but there’s just enough there to hint at something more. Very bizarre, strong CN vibes, here for it.

Now that I’ve written a paragraph more about Hooty than I expected to, let’s talk about Amity. Listen, no other character stood a chance to be my favourite as soon as I learned Mae Whitman voiced Amity. That woman gave me Katara so now I have a quasi Pavlovian response to her voice. I’d also say that I knew more about Amity going into the show than I did about any other aspect of TOH. I heard somewhere that she started out as an antagonist, I knew her parents were abusive, and the reason the show blew up on my dash and my general online bubble is the Grom episode. Lucikly I only saw stills of Lumity beneath the crescent moon but the pure Sapphic energy of that was enough to gay migrate me to this show. I’d like to note it here though that The Owl House is a good show in and of itself, the queer rep is just a nice extra. I’m gonna spend the next couple hundred words going on about Amity and her crush on Luz but I don’t value only that. The Gay Migration is great and rep is great but I’m also grateful to have a solid show behind it. That being said.

I’m a total dyke for Amity Blight. I was very biased before even being introduced to her character but I genuinely find her to be fascinating and she has great potential. She’s developing quite quickly, like much of The Owl House, but an arc not being stretched out for several seasons before getting a rushed conclusion is refreshing. The progress hits all the beats and the only note I have is that I want more. She starts out as a generic bully but the opportunity to be more is there from the beginning. We find out early on that she used to be friends with Willow, we see that she works hard and values honest work. When she becomes Luz’s rival, it doesn’t last long before Amity shows that she’s open to new perspectives. That’s not to defend or even justify her earlier and nastier moments, Amity was rude to both Luz and Willow. But through all that, she becomes a complex character who does bad things but isn’t a bad person and grows when she gets the space to. I think that’s neat.

Luz’s decision to befriend her might be cartoon logic but as someone who subscribes to the “kill them with kindness” ideology, I can totally relate. Amity’s softer side doesn’t take long to show and “Lost in Language” is such a great episode to show how complex people can be. Again, I was already biased when it came to Amity but she’s consistently shown to be capable of self-reflection and growth when others give her the chance. I think her past and potential future friendship with Willow is a great way to explore many different topics and I’m trusting the show to do it justice. I also can’t wait to meet the rest of the Blights, if only to get me some angst and further develop Amity. I half expected Grom to take the form of her parents. Too dark for Disney? Well, we don’t know Amity’s dynamic with her parents, exactly, but there’s so much subtext and potential. I love what we’ve already seen from her but I’d also say that she has one of the greatest potentials in the show.

Another way in which this potential manifests is Lumity, of course. Again, they’re developing quite quickly but that doesn’t mean it’s rushed. I’d love to explore Amity’s crush more and what Luz means to her. The Grom episode surpassed all expectations, still and gifs don’t do the stunning dance sequence justice. The animation is so smooth, the colours are amazing, the music is on point and the Sapphic vibes complete the picture. Poetic cinema, truly. Molly Ostertag and Noelle Stevenson are really out there giving wlw animation fans everything we ever wanted, huh. It also warms my heart that the crush is made very clear, not just by Luz’s name being on the note but by the delightful gay disaster that is Amity in “Wing It Like Witches”. I never thought I’d ever see such a relatable useless lesbian in animation so kudos to Dana Terrace and the whole crew. Wow, how far we’ve come.

So yeah, Amity is a funky little lesbian and I’m a 100% here for her gay disaster moments, but I also love where Lumity is going thematically. They’re great as foils and I’m hoping that they won’t get together at the very end. Look, I love me some Bubbline, Korrasami and Catradora, but it’s time a wlw relationship had the chance to exist onscreen and not only in the last episode. The Owl House has a great chance to do that. I know the creators don’t want romance to be the main focus and I respect that, I think the world they created deserves to showcased and explored to its full potential. Lumity could be a great subplot though, as representation on the one hand and as a thematically interesting dynamic on the other. Plus, Luz and Amity are just cute and sometimes, it’s as simple as that. Oh, and also the whole Little Miss Perfect thing? One of the best fandom discoveries I’ve made in a long while. Not only is the song truly perfect for Amity, I love that Joriah Kwamé went on to write Ordinary as well. This right here is why fandom is beautiful.

I think that’s about it for season 1 initial thoughts. The moral can be a bit on the nose at times, especially in the early episodes but the show is ultimately for kids and I appreciate its message. Interesting world and magic system, good characters, great potential for later seasons, just a well put together show that I’m really glad I started watching. I’m kind of sorry I didn’t keep up with season 1 as it was coming out but I would not have been able to wait between episodes. The pacing is good overall, deffo moves fast but I wouldn’t call it rushed, and the “filler” episodes still add something to the story. I’m not sure if I would still feel like the show moves at a fast pace if I hadn’t binged it but in any case it isn’t rushed, the necessary beats are all there and have time to sit. I’m going to watch as it comes out from now on so hopefully season 2 will arrive early next year.

Oh, and: I’m very new to the fandom, barely just found out about Little Miss Perfect, so any and all tidbits, fun facts, and fic recommendations are welcome. Also if you just want to chat my inbox is always open!

[queerlytical]

Unpacking my aversion to cis-het men - 08/12/2020

This is going to be a long one.  One I’m quite nervous about posting about even when I’m here anonymously!

Will probably refer to cis-het men as men/guys generally in this post btw. & the ex I refer to here is a guy I was with for 5 years which was an emotionally abusive relationship. 

I’ve recently started to challenge my feelings towards cis-het men.  Accepting that I have the judgement that all men are basically weak minded by not challenging society as it is (and therefore accepting of all the oppression), and are desperately affected by toxic masculinity.  

A small part of my brain knows that’s not true.  I have a couple of cis-het male friends who I love and are clearly not like that.  But when I think “what would be the problem if I ended up with a man in the future?” the other part of my brain immediately shuts the idea down like “why would you do such a thing?! you only like women, end of story”.  Thinking that the guys  who are open minded and unpacking their own priveleges/opinions etc. are so few and far between there is probably none left out there for me to meet.  

So I decided to challenge this notion.  And perhaps there is some underlying internal homophobia conflicting with these thoughts at the same time like “if I just gave men a chance.” or “it would be so much easier to just find a guy who is interested in me” (there is a lot underlying that quote tho - not that many wlw in my area, my personal feelings towards myself as to how cis-het men perceive me).

Along with challenging this notion, I have basically been craving to be dominated and penetrated in the bedroom, with no particular strings attached.  The people I’ve slept with this year weren’t great experiences and I just wanted someone to push me around and top me.  I know there are women who would gladly do that but the women I tend to date haven’t been like that and I’ve always been more of the top than the bottom.  I have never entertained a guy for sex where I have decided for myself that this is what’s going to happen, I’ve always been pursuaded into it (I didn’t learn about consent until the last couple of years, clearly). I wanted to feel that control.  I wanted to be the one to say, I’ve decided this this time.  And to see, how I would actually feel given that this was something I wanted and not sort of forced onto me.

I changed my Bumble search to include “everyone”.  Note that I had also ran out of women in my search radius by this stage so it was just men coming up now.  It was interesting.  I noticed that there are a lot of guy profiles that are basically the same - “where can you be found after work? the gym” or “what do you quote too much from? the office, US”.  Literally after swiping for about 10 minutes I could have written the exact same profile as like 40% of these profiles I was now faced with.  

I obviously ended up swiping left for the majority of guy profiles.  I paid more attention to the men who had kind eyes, nice smiles, beards (I love a beard strangely enough), and anything interesting in their profile.  I struggled to swipe right on white men in particular. I think this makes sense due to:

 my ex being white and racist (and I have a tendency to want to get as far as possible from this particular ex), 

a close friend who was my only white cis-het friend who then turned out to be a racist tory

my dad who is white, racist and homophobic (not terribly but enough to make me uncomfortable to discuss anything with him).  

Plus the general consensus that white cis-het men are the most priveleged in society and they can never understand someone like me, right?  Let alone have done any of the unpacking and learning about their own privilege..  

I matched with a few guys and had brief conversations with them before getting overwhelmed about messaging people on dating apps (happens whenever I can’t keep on top of messaging like more than one person at a time).  There were some okay chats, nothing overly flirty.  Some voicenotes which freaked me out a little, not 100% sure why hearing men’s voices so early after speaking to someone online scares me, but it’s probably because I’m not as comfortable sending voicenotes myself.  

There was a lot of me saying to myself “what am I doing?! LOLOLOL”

I’m going to talk about one of the guys in particular now.  We’ll call him Z.  Z’s profile was very minimal, basically just said “ask if you want to know more”.  But he had a nice face, lovely smile, and his first picture even looked quite feminine in the face - he has super long eyelashes and due to the lockdown hair he was wearing a hairband.  He’s Asian (Sikh) like my two closest friends.  I have spoken to him more than any of the other matches from Bumble.  We don’t really talk much of substance.  I told him I’m “basically a lesbian” quite early on  and he told me he’d been healing from a long relationship and was now “ready to have some fun”.  He didn’t seem particularly phased that I was into women, didn’t say anything cringey like “don’t worry, I’ll turn you” (which is what I used to get when I was younger).  This pushed the conversations in a direction where it was kind of agreed that this was all a bit of fun - flirty, sexual.  

My first experience with a guy being interested me back in high school eventually turned into a FWB situation so this type of relationship I am used to and basically expect from men..  I’m not particularly bother by this atm but might unpack this some more at some point.   

Anyway, as me and Z are just having some fun, I’ve not been vulnerable or told him much about things I care about - I don’t even think he knows my full name. It has actually been a breath of fresh air when I’ve been with people who are too intense for me throughout my dating life.  He is very much the kind of person I would never usually interact with too- likes and plays football, hangs with a group of “lads”.  I don’t think we have anything in common yet we still manage to chat (albeit with gaps of many hours in between some messages).

What did interest me about Z quite early on in our conversations is that he never said the word “girls”, always “women”.  I pointed this out to him and he confirmed he did that on purpose because he wouldn’t want to be referred to as a “boy” and that women deserve the same language used when referencing grown ass women.  This sticks in my mind as it definitely broke down one of my mental barriers around men not being able to understand “what’s the big deal”.  I think that’s probably why I’ve managed to speak to him for as long as we have.  Later on he also mentioned that people “can’t be fat shaming” which surprised me even more.  (Does my brain think cis-het men live under a rock or something?!).

We’ve been speaking 3 weeks at this stage.  We agreed to meet this weekend.  We ended up delaying it from Sunday to last night (Monday) because he was tired from a busy weekend and “wanted to give me the full experience”.  Surprisingly this didn’t make me super cringe.  I think I was probably more relieved to delay it another day as I was pretty nervous about how it would go, my head overthinking like - what if we have nothing to talk about? what if he comes all this way and I change my mind (as I am of course allowed to)? what if he’s a catfish and hurts me? etc. etc.  I don’t overthink this much when I date women.

So he was on his way.  I was running in circles getting ready like “WHAT AM I DOING?!!!”.  I had some rum to take the edge off and played the piano anxiously while he was on the way as something to take my mind off thinking about what was about to happen.

He arrived.  He was who he said he was.  He was the person who was in his pictures.  He was slightly slimmer than I expected but that was just the angles that his pictures were taken in.  It wasn’t awkward.  I poured us a drink and we sat on the sofa and chatted for a couple of hours.  He talked a lot, I hardly got a word in edgeways.  I didn’t mind as it put me at ease that there was no awkward silences. 

We finished our drinks.  I hadn’t left the heating on in my lounge so it had gotten quite cold..  I got closer to him.  Then we kissed.  It was nice.  I love kissing anyone who’s a good kisser no matter their gender. The excitement of the whole situation turned me on and we took it to my bedroom.

I struggled to look at him naked although when I did, I didn’t feel strange like I thought I would.  Obviously there is nothing wrong with the male form, I just haven’t seen a dude naked in my bedroom for years and when I was younger I used to tell myself I had phallophobia..  The sex was pretty much what I was looking for.  He didn’t bring a condom though which didn’t annoy me loads in the moment, despite him saying “I prefer without but ok” to which I replied “I don’t know where you’ve been” *eye roll*.  I thankfully had my own condoms (my stash usually for making dental dams, yno) but after I was kind of thinking to myself like “who the fuck goes to have casual sex with someone and doesn’t bring a condom when they have a penis?!”. I didn’t even let my ex bare-back me let alone some random dude.  

Anyway, I did it.  Consensual sex was better than any sex I had with my ex (not surprising).  He didn’t make me climax but it felt good (sex isn’t goal orientated for me but I know it was for him, as I assume it is with most men).  We held each other and chatted naked for a while after.  I think he wanted round 2 but I’m not sure I could have handled it.  He left relatively promptly after and I felt.. content.

I think I got what I wanted out of the experience.  It definitely boosted my confidence.  I’m not sure if I’ll see him again yet.  I definitely still feel very queer and mostly into women, I missed boobs a lot (like what do het-women hold onto?).

Part of me is like “okay next step is to see what it would be like to go on a romantic date with a guy” - something I have never ever done.  I don’t think I’ve been interested in it in the past (since growing up that is).  I can’t even imagine what it would be like because I would probably just treat them as my friend and have no clue how to flirt (if I even wanted to flirt).  But there are many conflicting thoughts about dating men romantically - what if it’s a success?  I’d end up feeling disowned by my new queer friends or judged by them, or what if I hurt someone?  how will dating guys impact how I feel about my own queerness??  I just settled back into my queer identity and now it feels I’m going backwards again.

I am definitely enjoying this new side to me that doesn’t take dating seriously and being comfortable that I don’t want a relationship right now and that’s okay!  I am continually learning about myself and trying to breakdown my own barriers so I can be my most true authentic self.  I’m having fun, and doing what’s best for me.  Which is a complete u-turn on the person I was less than a few years ago who just wanted to please everyone and was so depressed and burnt out doing so.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Terrific Love Interests [5/5]

+Why both romantic routes are not only amazing but better than other games I’ve personally played in the past.

+Why some people are idiots and get off on picking stupid fights.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

[the final season and damn near perfect love interests]

I would die for both of them and so would you

Now that I’ve spent hours talking about these different games and comparing their characters and romance plots to TFS and Louis and Violet, allow me to recap:

Louis and Violet aren’t 100% equal. We’ve all talked about how the dev’s talk more highly about Violet or how toxic Louis’ fans can be, and it’s a horse that we just keep beating to the point where the horse is just dust now. 

I know, guys. I know. 

Trust me, there’s a reason I don’t follow any of the developers or writers or voice actors because while sometimes they give interesting info, sometimes they say dumb things and I have to close my eyes and force down my bitch mode because 

I’ve given my two cents on those topics before, but know that in comparison to other games, Louis and Violet are more equal than others and arguing about it isn’t going to solve anything, and if you put your nasty energy into something good, then it wouldn’t matter if Louis didn’t get a mini-game because then you could create one fo the community!

Not necessarily a game game but a piece of artwork, or a short story. You get what I mean. 

Hell, remember when we almost didn’t even get episode 3? Or episode 4 because Telltale did dumb things? 

We could’ve stopped at episode 2. We could’ve just gotten our happy little date and confession with Louis and Violet and never got their full development, their backstories, or any other content with them. 

We wouldn’t have gotten Clementine’s ending. 

But we did get the whole season. You get to confess and smooch them, you watch them better themselves because they care about you and want to be better for you and the rest of Ericson. 

We’re lucky that we can even romance them in the first place. They didn’t have to give that to us. They didn’t even have to try as hard as they did with these two but they did. 

They could’ve made the romance shitty and forceful. They could’ve made it so unbalanced that it’s laughable. They could’ve made it inconsequential, throwaway characters. They could’ve made Louis and Violet so terrible that we would end up wishing they weren’t even characters in TFS. 

But they didn’t. 

Louis is my favorite character out of the entire series. Yes, I dare say I love him more than Clementine or even Lee. He’s my absolute favorite. 

And while I chose not to romance Violet, she’s still one of my favorite characters and I hold her on a high pedestal when it comes to romanceable characters in general. 

For this next part, I’m going to talk a little bit about why I love Louis’ romance route so much in comparison to the games that I’ve talked about, but I want to mention that I understand how important Violet is, too. 

She’s important because it’s amazing to see a wlw story portrayed like this with a loveable character like Violet and I can see why she and Clementine’s relationship means a lot to the community. 

I’m not ignoring or disregarding her worth and meaning in the story in this next section, I’m just giving my experience and thoughts on my playthrough of the game as someone who picked Louis. 

Louis is a character I’ve talked about non-stop since I started this blog. 

He is so many things, and his story over the course of TFS is one of my favorites that I’ve encountered in any of these games. 

From his character design and voice acting to his realistic portrayal of grief and anger at the loss of his traitorous best friend but eventual acceptance and forgiveness of it, to his insecurities hiding behind a smile and a song, to his love for Clementine whether it be romantic or platonic, down to his backstory and growth from episode 1 to 4 of having a home and people worth stepping up to protect, I love everything about him. 

When I first played episode 1, I deeply hoped that I would because to start something romantic with him because how many times has a game pulled a Yosuke on me and said, “Oh, that one? Nope, you can’t have that one,” and I just accepted it in sorrow? 

So, imagine my delight when it was possible in episode 2, only to learn that we probably wouldn’t get the rest of the season. 

We almost didn’t get it, remember?

Then we did, and we got to finish it and I got to see the end of Louis’ role in Clementine’s story. I got to watch them end up together, even though I had to sacrifice Violet’s eyesight and complete trust in me, as well as Tenn’s life. That’s not something that I’m happy about, but damn it, I love him enough to live with it. 

Louis is important to the story, and his role is anything but inconsequential, no matter what route you take. He isn’t forced on you, and he doesn’t turn into a whiney asshole you if reject him. If you reject him, the story as a whole still makes sense. Louis is fucking loveable. 

And this applies to Violet, as well. All of it!

There is no stupid love triangle between them and Clementine, they’re affectionate and supportive, and they’re both loveable as fuck. 

Louis and Violet are both terrific love interests for Clementine because of this. 

Everything that I’ve pointed out in the past 5 goddamn posts supports this. 

At the end of the day, Louis and Violet are both amazing characters in their different ways, and they’re both perfect options for Clementine. They both treat her with love and respect, they both lay down their lives for her and AJ, they’re not above calling her out on anything she does wrong but is also willing to say they’re sorry for their own mistakes. They’re complex and interesting to spend time with, and you want them to survive and be happy in the end. 

And I know, I get asks about these certain topics and opinions like “Well, I just felt like this thing was unfair and here’s why” and that’s fine. There’s a difference between having a discussion about something that you think can be improved or something you didn’t like and going to someone with the intention of being an idiot and picking a fight because you get off on it. 

I didn’t write this whole thing up to tell everyone to shut up, I wrote it to point some shit out because some people don’t realize how lucky we are to even have Louis and Violet in the first place! Think back to the examples and comparisons I did and think about what we COULD’VE gotten!

People are still going to pick fights about it because they’re idiots. That’s why they do it. There is no reason to be an asshole to each other just because you share different opinions, and there’s no reason to personally go after the developers and writers. 

I get mad, I get annoyed, so I write five-part essays about topics that no one asked for but make me feel better to get all out. 

I don’t go into inboxes or on Instagram and be a dick. 

Because there’s no point. Because Louis and Violet are both great. 

Have I nailed that point into your brains yet?  

In conclusion:

Quit being ungrateful and enjoy the fact that Louis and Violet are as amazing as they are and that TFS was finished. Be nice and quit picking fights. Louis and Violet would both be ashamed of you for being an asshole. Use the energy you’re putting into this nonsense and put it towards something good for the community. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go on Instagram and see if anything’s changed in the past 48 hours while hoping I don’t come across any more vilouis content. 

[chaoslordjoe]

RWBY - Do I Ship It #2? Ruby Rose

I’ve decided to continue this whole shebang with going over ships for individual characters each time. And for this one, we’re looking at our favorite cooking-deepthroating reaper, Ruby Rose...That may be one of my favorite character descriptions I’ve ever typed.

With introductions outta the way, let’s talk some Ruby ships.

White Rose

kinda leaves me indifferent?

overrated

would read a fic about it

Ideally, White Rose has become one of those ships that half of the FNDM loves to hate. But me, I’m not as triggered by it, let alone nowhere near as angered by it’s presence simply because it’s not Bumbleby.

Unlike BB, in which it’s presence makes me wanna slug my screen every time I see a comment thread screeching high praise about it, I can look at White Rose and just be more like: “Eh. It’s okay.” Simply because I have seen WR content that I enjoy, and that at least many WR shippers know when to shut up when they’re called out unlike Wasps.

Really, a lot of the content has a lot heart put into it to where I really can’t get mad at it. I know it’s a WLW ship. I know that’s become a thing to generally hate among RWBY fans. But I do think that WR is the lesser of two evils between that and BB not because I have a lot of friends who ship it, but because I think folks crap on it way too much compared to the demon that BB has become.

Am I saying there aren’t toxic WR fans still around? Hell no. They need to be called out on it, too. But I’m also generally more relaxed about the ship. Nothing major really.

Ladybug

I SHIP IT

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

underrated

hELL YES

Ladybug has become a recent addition to my ship list a while back. But I’ve fallen head over heels for it in such a short amount of time.

Even many folks I’ve spoken to who tend to gag at the mention of WLW ships in a fandom as egregious as RWBY’s agree that the Bugs are really harmless given soft the content of this ship often is. I’m not saying that Ladybug is all “wee-hee-we’re-a-couple-of-happy-go-lucky-dorks” because that would make it unoriginal and boring to read in many cases.

No, the reason I’ve grown to adore Ladybug so much is because I’m one of those who parrots how much of a missed opportunity (like the show is as a frigging whole) how many interactions there could be between Ruby and Blake.

Why wouldn’t they? They’re both into fantasy stories, both have darkened color schemes, and share some general views on why they fight. Really, Ladybug is just a good way for me to fill the void of just how much Rooster Teeth doesn’t give a fuck about how to organize their characters properly?

Volume 5 gets Freezerburn, and not onwards? Come on, RT.

But before I end up turning this into a rwde post, let’s just move onto the next ship.

Nuts & Dolts

I SHIP IT

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

Soulmates

I WOULD DIE FOR IT OKAY

Yeah this one was pretty obvious. But who cares?! I frigging adore Nuts & Dolts.

Let me just be clear in saying that I can ship it platonically/romantically, simply because I love the bond that Ruby and Penny share. They’re both hyperactive, kindhearted and strong-willed girls with a penchant for bladed weaponry and wanting to make the world a better place for everyone.

This initially made N&D into a guilty pleasure ship for me. But over time, I just couldn’t resist or get mad at it because I love how soft it feels. Same reason as Ladybug for the most part. But overall, I like N&D because of just how much soul there is between two people who were born differently with a set of powers that aren’t what you’d call “ordinary”.

As someone who’s been called “unique” or other labels with the disability I have, I usually find it very pretentious and downright grating to see stories that are supposed to be uplifting about being born in a different manner because that can be really damn annoying after a while.

Yeah, stuff like disability or other stuff is under-represented in pop culture. But often it’s portrayed in a very “Hollywood” fashion even if it’s not a work from that culture and work mindset.

I’m not saying N&D is one of those “unique” portrayals, but as something that shows what happens when two saviors who wanted a normal life have someone in each other that they can trust and even love for their shared experiences of being born differently.

Which is why I’ve grown to accept Ruby and Penny as the popular fan portrayal of being girlfriends or platonic friends. They have so much in common, which makes it that much more endearing for me personally.

Okay. Those are some Ruby/Other girl ships outta the way. Now let’s discuss some Ruby/guy ships...Here’s where it gets a little odd.

Lancaster

BROTP

overrated

no thanks

Oh boy. I’m probably gonna get some flak for this entry...

Let me just be clear that this is a post that is NOT meant to attack any particular shippers. This is me stating what I feel about certain ships and me occasionally talking about how I think they would turn out. 

It’s not my headcanon interpretations, per se. But instead it’s more how I picture it based on my experience with viewing relationships in my own life before I started discussing fandom ships.

Now that I have that out of the way, let’s discuss Ruby/Jaune.

When I first started watching RWBY, my first ship, like many others was Arkos (more on that when I cover Jaune). I felt that Pyrrha was just the right fit for a lovable dweeb like him with how it helped kick-start his character development and the framework for how he would improve himself overall.

Granted, I wasn’t really expecting Arkos to be canon since Pyrrha had died in V3. It was a tragic outcome for a ship that had so much buildup. And most of the FNDM agreed that Jaune needed a hug along with his friends to help him through it.

When I started to hear about the fact that Jaune was shipped with other girls in the main cast, I wasn’t really shocked since White Knight was already fairly popular. But when I found out about Lancaster, it was like: “Wait a second, people actually ship him with Ruby?”

Was more confusion than astonishment, to be honest. I didn’t really think that it would’ve been fitting despite how close and similar both team leaders were. But I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try with reading a couple of Lancaster works.

I got bored.

I’m not so much angry whenever I hear about Lancaster as I am just not impressed by how much fanon works recycle many tropes and plot elements.

Ruby is secretly in love with Jaune.

Jaune does something adorkable or manly which attracts Ruby.

Ruby makes/attempts to make a move on him with some crazy or titillating way that, while in-character for her, has been repeated one times too many in this or other ships featuring her.

Jaune is generally being a good boi throughout. I like Jaune, but I feel that he’s put in too many fanfics in which he’s overly good and pure. Again. It’s fitting for him, but sometimes a bit of difference in fan interpretation is nice. Make him angry, have him lash out at his friends at times. Just don’t make him a “perfect” boyfriend.

Both dorks often have to hide their relationship because of the possibility of Pyrrha being jealous, Yang going apeshit, or other characters reacting the way they do which is often buzzwords in a fic like that.

Lancaster shippers, I am not attacking you since this is your thing. If so, fine. But it’s not mine as I am giving an attempt to give constructive criticism about some of the ships listed here while talking about ships I like to make these posts all about even ground.

I prefer to see Ruby and Jaune as besties. Hell. I prefer to see them more like siblings considering how much Jaune acted like a big brother to Ruby on the road to Mistral with how Yang was bedridden with depression in V4. I also think that Jaune needs a friend right now rather than a love interest. The same could be said for a lot of characters right now, but that’s a different topic.

My biggest criticism for LC is that while I understand the similarities that they share, it’s the whole “opposite-gender-leads-fall-in-love” trope. This trope can be done right *coughRENORAcough* but is put in so many works that I’m not one of those fans who’s impressed with it.

The ship isn’t original, but it’s nothing to make me wanna rage-post like I’m Keemstar on Red Bull or the like. And I know people who are into it, to which I tell them: Good for all of you. It’s simply not my cup of tea.

Rosegarden

would read a fic about it

meh

not really my thing

Oh god, how I wish it wasn’t harvest season!

Kidding. Kidding. Rosegarden is legit, and all my friends in the group who ship it are wonderful people.

Another ship that I can’t really get angry at since compared to other ships that cover things like young love or ships of people who were born differently (see my Nuts & Dolts entry), RG is pretty fucking harmless and I can tolerate it more even though I’m not into it.

While I understand why it seems hypocritical of me to share and repost stuff related to RG on occasion, this is simply because I have reason to share it based on how much I’ve interacted with shippers and how I’ve actually had productive discussions with them outside of their ship.

It’s the community which I like more than the ship because of how much more chill they are. But there’s also a big reason why I know that some people crap on this one.

Ozpin.

Dude, if I had a Dollar for every “RG-is-pedophilia-because-Oscar-is-Ozpin’s-puppet” fallacy that was posted I wouldn’t be needing a stimulus check. Let me explain to y’all why that’s bullshit.

(RWDE mode online)

Is Ozpin eons of years old? Yes. He’s from Humanity 1.0 and was thrown into the bodies of men in the modern world in his war against Salem. It’s a rough situation with a lot of baggage to any relationship he puts up or wishes to even build-up and I don’t think it should be swept under the rug because there’s a lot of stuff that should be brought up about the guy.

Is Ozpin intervening on any potential interaction between Ruby and Oscar? No. Canon or no, Oz has been a neutral party in whatever interactions the two kids have because it’s not really his business. Do you honestly believe that if Ozpin would be the kind to boss his host around that he would attempt to butt in on their friendship?

As an Oz critic, I can say that while I understand both interactions, I draw the line at this ship being considered pedophilia.

I mean, come on! The FNDM ships Ruby with villains like Roman, Cinder and Salem, who are adults when she’s a teenager! And suddenly it’s okay to claim pedophilia just because Ozpin is present?! ARE YOU HIGH?

If we’re going with that logic, fine, just have Ozpin ascend from his brain after Salem is 86′d, THEN we can have a development in RG’s friendship whether it’s romantic or not. But leave the fans of this pairing out of it!

(RWDE mode offline)

The reason I don’t ship Rosegarden is because I’m not a fan of the whole “young love” trope either. I wouldn’t mind it so much if Oscar wasn’t relegated to a support role due to being an Oz host and he had more screen time rather than the old wizard.

Maybe I’m just too cynical about stuff like this to really care. But the point is, I can’t get mad at this ship either and I’m willing to read up on it in small doses.

Strawbana

I ship it

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

the sexiest pair

we need more of it

underrated

Sun Wukong, you magnificent monkey bastard! You always seem to brighten my day whenever I’m looking through critical discussions related to this show.

Much as I love BlackSun, I’m definietly curious to learn more about other ships involving my homeboy here. Solar Flare, I also like. But Sun/Ruby? Thank you sir, may I have another!

Ugh. Can’t believe I just quoted Animal House to describe my love for this painfully underrated ship. Somebody get me some soap...

Other than their VAs being married in real life, I like Strawbana/Red Sun the same reason as Nuts & Dolts with this being a ship that features two extremely upbeat characters finding love in one another with just how much they kick ass for the reasons of just being good people.

Kinda/sorta the only straight Ruby ship I’m into just because of how much they could rub off on one another, and how much I’d love to see them interact more in canon material. Not just the show but any other tie-in stuff.

Next time, we cover Weissu.

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[gliyerabaa]

9 (Per Aspera ad Astra), 13, 28, and 50 for the fanfic writer ask 😊

Note that this ask contains mild spoilers for Per Aspera Ad Astra (ask number 9)

AHHHH thank you so much I love Per Aspera so much I’m so glad someone asked me questions so I can talk about how much I love this fic!!! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- this fic is literally my pride and joy!!!

9: In Per Aspera Ad Astra, what’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Okay so my favorite scene that I’ve written and published would actually have to be the party scene from chapter 7. Like.... as an aroace wlw, straight romance is very challenging for me to write, like it’s damn near impossible for me to describe characters being attracted to guys when I’ve never felt romantic or sexual attraction period and I’ve only ever really felt aesthetic/platonic attraction to girls. 

That being said, I really really loved how I was able to write the party scene. I intentionally kept it as dialogue light as possible, focusing instead on feelings- that spinning fuzziness of being drunk, how thoughts feel a little slower and a little stickier, how every single sensation feels both muted and amplified at the same time.... (I’ve been home from college for 2 months can you tell I miss drinking?)

Anyway I really really am proud of how the party scene turned out!! I’m also impressed with myself at how I’m writing Glinda and Avaric’s relationship. I’ve really only ever written gelphie so this is a fun challenge for me and based on people’s feedback, it’s working really well.

ALSO I think it’s worth saying that there’s scenes in the fic that I love even more than this one, I just haven’t published them yet so I can’t tell you about them ;)

13. Who is your least favorite character to write for and why?

Honestly? I’m really struggling with writing the guys of the charmed circle. I have almost no idea what I’m doing in regards to Crope and Tibbett, all I know is that they’re dramatic, goofy, and probably gay. I also don’t really know how to write Boq and it’s annoying me. The problem is I have yet to really write about these three outside of the context of their friend group and I think that’s what the problem is. I’ve gotten better with Fiyero- and I think it’s because I’ve written about him outside of the context of their friend group?

28. What is something you’d wish you’d known before starting to write fanfiction?

Oh man, I wish I’d known how invested I’d be in this. I think I made my first fanfiction (a really shittily drawn “book” about sonic the hedgehog) when I was like 5 or 6, and creating has been a part of my life ever since then. I got in to ‘actual’ fanfiction when I was 12, writing god-awful doctor who fanfic on the notes app on my phone. I’ve grown so much both as a person and as a writer since then (I still read my fics from when I was 12 to remind myself how far I’ve come). Like if I had known when I was younger that as a 19 year old I’d bascially be planning out an entire novel based on gay witches for my own enjoyment... I wouldn’t believe it.

50. If you could only write angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

Easy. Angst. 

I’m ace, 97% of the time I find smut icky, so that rules out smut.

And it’s so weird I can’t like write just pure fluff I always have to have some sort of tension or drama, I’m so bad at just pointless fluffy goop. Like I love fluff it’s just not easy for me to write.

Angst however..... I am an ANGST MACHINE ( @gayforthropp you’re beta-ing per aspera, you know exactly what I’m talking about lmao)

[bl3ghhhh]

adaar

just a ramble about my adaar I'm developing. I've been having trouble sticking to any of my Wardens or Inquisitors so I'm just going to ramble my ideas for her.

So!!!! She's really young - like nineteen. She's got a Disney princess/princess zelda vibe. She's the daughter of the 'chief' or 'mayor' or whatever of a small town made up of mainly tal-vashoth and she's got to take up the mantle eventually. But get this: she doesn't want to!!! Revolutionary storytelling.

She wants adventure. She wants freedom. She wants to travel with the Valo-Kas. She wants to be her own person.

Her mum gets ill or something? And can't be in charge for much longer, and Adaar knows that her young adult life is basically over before it starts. So she goes with the Valo-Kas, escapes with them for one adventure. To the conclave.

And she ends up the Herald of Andraste. Fuck off!!! She went from one unwanted responsibility to another.

She doesn't really like anyone at first except Varric. She's used to older people stressing her out, and they do; Cassandra tries to force Andrastianism, Solas talks with an air of condescension, Cullen shoes himself to be a bigot.

Vivienne is annoying at times too, but she gives good advice. She knows Adaar can do well. She teaches her things about Andrastianism and how to survive in court without being condescending about it. She likes Vivienne!

Blackwall is just a sweet guy. Her father was always too oppressive, wouldn't give her freedom. Blackwall was a nice old man who didn't tell her what to do, just listened and often agreed. She also likes him!

Sera!!!! Is the epitome of freedom. She does what she likes, when she likes. She's chaotic, and Adaar just,,, immediately fancies her. Sera likes her looks but feels like she's a little too down, so Adaar works on it and ends up cracking a good joke. Hearing Sera giggle at something she said... makes her so bubbly that she makes it her mission to do it as much as possible.

Loves Dorian!!! Mlm/wlw solidarity. They both had expectations set by their parents that they had no intentions of meeting, and Adaar really looks up to him. They're extremely close, and she misses his guidance when he goes to Tevinter.

Bit!!!! Afraid of Cole at first, but he's young like her and she doesn't want to see him go. She grew up on riddles from her mother, who became interested in them after living somewhere so straightforward, and loved picking his apart.

She has really soft hair. I dunno. Just. Soft!!!! She probably has a little chub on her belly. Soft

That's all I got!!! Just wanted to get it out of my system - I know nobody will read this ahaha.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Hey, I saw you were doing headcanon stuff! So, I have this like burgeoning headcanon that Josh x Donna's first daughter is wlw. I don't know if you build off of other people's headcanons, but this one has been with me for a long time, and you are such a talented writer and storyteller in general that I thought maybe you'd be interested in taking a crack out of this very specific headcanon?!? I've just been projecting a lot of brainpower towards it and I want to talk to someone else about it!

Okay, so first, all my future headcanons for TWW spring from this original post that’s gotten around a bit. I’ve written a tiny bit of kidfic using them as well so I decided to connect yours to mine because tbh I love this idea and heck yeah, at least one of their daughters should be queer :D that’s just way more fun than if they’re both straight.

So, given what I’d already sorted out for the future, here are my thoughts. There are oh so many ideas behind the cut because apparently I can’t sleep but I can create a bunch of people out of thin air.

Their eldest daughter, Brianna Joan, started insisting everyone call her ‘Jo’ when she was five. They were both surprised by her stubbornness on the matter, but Josh was secretly pleased since her middle name was a tribute to his sister. Donna assumed it was a phase she would grow out of, like a lot of kids when they’re young and establishing their independence. She didn’t–and Jo later believed it was the first hint that she was never meant to be the girly daughter they might have expected.

Charlotte inherited her mother’s grace under pressure, along with her dancer’s form and creative flexibility. While Jo had Donna’s sass and sense of humor, she shared her dad’s brown hair and eyes, constant need to be in motion, and impulsive streak. Josh liked to say Jo got his athletic prowess, too, but Donna always countered with ‘your what now?’ and made the girls laugh. Jo surpassed him in sports talent by junior high, thanks in no small part to coaching by Charlie’s not-so-little-anymore sister Deena.

Junior high and high school were rough, especially girl’s softball and basketball. The rumors and slurs about which girls were probably gay because they were a little too good on the court or the mound bothered her, especially when she got sick of her unruly hair and cut it off at fourteen and the kids started aiming them at her…but it was hard to do the right thing and stand up to them when she was starting to wonder if maybe they were right.

The first crush she developed on an older, female student that she actually admitted to herself was a crush happened a year later, when she was trying to survive her entrance into high school. She came out to her best friend at sixteen and felt bad that she didn’t tell her parents first, but her dad was still working with the White House occasionally during his “retirement,” and her mom was starting her campaign for Congress, and the last thing Jo wanted to do was make that harder.

It wasn’t like she thought they’d be upset, or disappointed in her, exactly. But a tiny part of her did have doubts, after a couple of her friends had come out to their liberal parents and hit a cruel wall of family double-standards. Surely Josh Lyman and Donna Moss, champions of progressive causes, wouldn’t be that way…she hoped.

Just to be safe, Jo told them the week after her mom won her Congressional campaign, when it would cause the least trouble if they did freak out. Donna wasn’t surprised, not even a little, and only shared her worries at night with Josh. She knew how hard it was to be a woman in the world, and it could only be more painful for their eldest facing additional discrimination on top of that. “We just have to love her even harder,” Donna whispered, “and hope it’ll be enough.”

Unlike his wife, Josh was–as always–oblivious. Jo coming out was big surprise, but one he was happy about. She trusted them enough to tell them, and include them in her confusing teenage life. Surely that meant they were on the right track. “And hey,” he offered up in the initial shock of her disclosure, “I can’t exactly blame her. Women…are great. I’m a big fan. Of them.”

Just like he did with all the girl’s activities over the years, from dance to soccer, Josh threw himself into being a parental ally until he annoyed Jo with his enthusiasm. PFLAG, marches, fundraisers, sponsoring local clubs…"which one of us is gay again?” she would mutter to her sister with an eyeroll sometimes, out of earshot of the DC dad with the rainbow t-shirt passing out mini flags.

She was grateful though, especially after she survived college, and law school, and volunteered at a nonprofit that exposed her to so many kids whose parents didn’t care if they lived or died, simply because of who they turned out to be. Josh started getting handmade cards for his birthday and Father’s Day every year, filled with Jo’s illegible handwriting–that, he knew, she definitely didn’t get from him–telling him how much she loved and appreciated him. He put them on the fridge next to the sketches her little sister sent, like they were both still in grade school. Donna teased him about that, but whenever their friends visited she was the first one to casually point them out.

In the family, Charlotte was the only one that ever gave Jo any grief about her sexuality. It was mostly sibling sniping, because Charlotte was quieter than her sister but even more competitive, and she was never quite able to catch up with the three year gap between them. Still, it made Jo uncomfortable in her late teens because she and her baby sister were always so close growing up, and she couldn’t tell if the snark was coming from someplace deeper. When Charlie was fifteen, she got a week’s suspension for breaking a boy’s nose after he called her valedictorian sister a slur she refused to repeat to anyone. Jo worried less after that, and the sarcastic comments never happened again.

Toby’s son Huck came out as bisexual in college, and Jo joined his twin sister in being his closest support system while he braced for his parents’ reactions. There was a lot of hugging, and some knowing looks between Toby and Josh when the kids weren’t paying attention, and Huck had to pay Jo twenty bucks because she promised it would go over fine and he was certain it would be a disaster. He never learned to love the Yankees but he shared his father’s temperament from an early age. He and Charlie dated briefly in their twenties, causing a minor scandal to ripple through the connected families.

CJ’s daughter Nora, who was like a distant cousin Jo never got to visit enough in sunny California, only allowed the family to use her full name. She got a lot of weird looks when strangers overheard, or friends found out how old-fashioned it was, but Jo liked to call her by it anyway when they chatted. She never got to meet her dad’s mentor, and she thought based on the stories she’d heard that he would be embarrassed but proud to learn that Claudia Jean named her firstborn Leonora after she left the White House.

Nora was the one who introduced Jo to her future wife, an architect based out of Sacramento with an independent streak and temper that secretly reminded Josh of one of his exes. Unlike him and Amy, Jo and her fiance were a happy fit, sharing similar political beliefs but no professional rivalry. They spent as much time at home swapping stories and advice about their demanding careers as they did on community activism. Jo mellowed out a little after they got married–”she’s so much like you,” Donna told Josh with a smile–and they moved five times in three years before buying a house and starting their attempts to have a family.

That was the first time Jo ever really surprised her mom, who cried when she found out they were expecting. “I thought…you never talked about wanting kids,” Donna said carefully, and Jo just grinned that bright grin that was so much like her father’s. “I needed some time,” she told her mom, “to figure out what I wanted. But I think that if I manage to be half as good at it as you were, I’ll be an amazing mom.”

Josh and Donna bantered anxiously in the waiting room while each of their eldest daughter’s three kids came into the world. Two she gave birth to, and one she didn’t. They spoiled them all the same.

And when Charlotte brought the Lyman-Moss legacy back to the White House, Jo’s youngest son got to hunt Easter Eggs on the lawn. He stood next to his aunt during the photo op, just one of a dozen kids surrounding the first female President of the United States.

[saportuh]

ok panic concert highlights

(plus some personal adventures)

this was the portland show on the 12th k

so it was a fuckin hour and a half drive bc where i fuckin live now is far away from everything i hate it anyway that sucked & i ran my phone down to 80 percent during said drive which proved problematic

we get there (me & my lil sis) & our dad drops us off & we run up & im bitching about how weird the fucking venue is (it’s normal, it’s just not what i’m used to - in vegas the venues were typically in the casino/resorts so you lined up inside the halls & sat against the walls & tourist-watched, in this venue u stood outside in a line???? ughhh)

so we approach the line & something happens, i’m gonna make a separate post about it because holy shit

befriended two excitable gay kids, maybe 8th or 9th grade?? & i was like woah i was u once. now im old & jaded. eugh. then they bailed on me so.

we got into the arena & were on the wrong fucking side so we had to JOG all the way AROUND THE WHOLE FUCKINGN PLACE UGH

THEN WE GOT IN & SAT IN THE WRONG SEATS so the guy next to me (dad w a thick accent, maybe ukranian?? it wasn’t russian but it was close) politely informed me & i was like fuck well until they get here we’ll stay, but i had anxiety so during an arizona song i pretended to go to the bathroom & came back to look for our actual seat, someone took it so i pussied out & went back, had hella anxiety about it, then before hayley the ppl showed up so we had to move & i had to kick some preps out of their seat & they called my lil sister a bitch ;-;

OK SO ONTO THE PERFORMERS

arizona was cute, gotta check them out... singer kept getting emotional & wiping his eyes, it was sweet, and he was hella feeling himself dancing & stuff lmaoo. idk em but im proud of them.

HAYLEYYYYYYYYYYY her dancing & drumming & outfit??? also all the lesbians/wlw getting crunk in the crowd was so damn good haha

ALSO shout out to hayley’s band, they were so cute??? the guitarist & her kept having moments & he seemed like a cool dude, & the girl on synths was so pretty omg??? & smiley i loved her. & the drummer, they were goin so hard i couldnt get a good look, but they had kewl hair

“if you don’t know anything about me, there’s one thing you should know: I LOVE GIRLS” there was so much gay energy at that show i was teary the whole damn time

k confession, i love everything about hayley but i find her voice a little grating on the ears, something about it, but it was super angelic live & didn’t bug me once, & wanna be missed fucked me up cuz it’s my fucking f a v

SHE DID THE DRUMMY IT WAS HOT 

her oufit was so damn iconic rlly tho, the pants & shoes totes fit her but wouldn't look good on anyone else, but that shirt, the hot dad look w the open v & all the jewelry, holy fuck that’s how im tryna be

during girls like girls, everyone had their lights out & there was a bunch of pride flags out, and i got this gorgeous shot of a gay pride flag illuminated by lights (i posted it)

most of the songs they played between the breaks were gay themed too which was powerful dude i was so damn emotional

then during the countdown to panic, they played the next episode by dre (the “smoke weed every day” song) & then africa by toto jsfndjfndjskfnjdk

THEN PANIC CAME OUT 

WHOLE ASS STRING & BRASS SECTION BDEN RLLY WENT THERE WOAH

KENNY & NICOLE WERE SO CUTE THE WHOLE TIME THEY KEPT GOOFING AROUND ESPECIALLY KENNY IT WAS ADORABLE

THEN BREB POPPED OUT THE DAMN FLOOR

ok several things about breb

one, i never was heavy into panic, but considering how obsessive i was into bandom a few years back, i still know a lot about early panic, livejournal shit, ryden bullshit, etc, so it was really weird being there with normies who were just like “he’s hot & sings good” when i was like “yall lucky fucks never heard of myrtle beach ” dsjfnjsdnfds

two, four years into panic & i never was attracted to brendon, but dude, EVERYONE fell in love with him at this show, myself included, & i was starin at this bitch ass motherfucker in a trance before i was like “wait ur a bastard STOP U ENDEARING DICKWAD” he was so fucking endearing it was ANNOYING cuz i’ve seen some of the shit he’s pulled damnit. srsly tho, so absolutely charming, wow.

three, and what stuck with me most; brendon loves what he does. a little bit of exhibitionism, i think; he likes ppl looking at & admiring him, he’s that type of person, a showman, but also, i think he just loves making music, people singing along to the music, etc. ive been to eight concerts now, and i don’t think i’ve seen someone who clearly loved being on stage so much. a lot of ppl act like it’s a chore to tour, but brendon clearly loves it, and it made me happy, especially as an aspiring musician. 

four, the straighties drooling over him and the gays drooling over him was truly straight/gay solidarity

ok what else happened... brendon would throw in random ass high notes towards the ends of songs... my sister looked at me super alarmed when he first did it during dtmwagt lmfao... ppl would cheer & it was impressive, but kinda piercing & i was like “show off” lol

HE DID THE ‘I MAKE THESE HIGH HEELS WORK’ thing, i thought he retired tht?? so i was pleased lmfao

i dont rmr anything that stands out about ready to go or la devotee but the lights & backgrounds during them were very pretty & i got some good pics of brebbois face (i finally got semi decent quality pics im rlly happy abt tht, concerts r so hard to photograph)

hallelujah was cool cuz there were, like, those catholic(?) church windows projected on the top part of the stage, it was pretty af, they rlly outdid themselves with the visuals

and mona lisa had like pipes & industrial stuff?? idk it looked dope, and it contrasted rlly cool it was super pretty

nine in the afternoon,,,, the only pretty odd song... i dont even like pretty odd but it was like,,, damn. & he had the piano, total live in denver vibes ;-; but he wasnt dripping sweat this time lmao

golden days, brebweenie knows hes hot, kept winking & doing mic flips & shit & i was like u fucken weenie ive seen that pic of u w a bowl cut in a bra, die

k he’s a fuckin bastard but hhe’s pretty & talented fuckin big ego bitch ... can yall tell i hav a lovehate relationship w him bc i do

I GOT THIS ONE PART ON VIDEO DURING GOLDEN DAYS WHERE KENNY & NICOLE R FUCKING AROUND & MAKING FACES & GOOFING IT’S SO CUTE

during casual affair in the chorus, the mic would echo each word (just lay (lay) in the atmosphere (sphere) & the ‘lay’ was rlly good on my ears idk sometimes certain vocal notes sound GOOD & that was one i keep replaying it

SO VEGAS LIGHTS as yall kno i was born & raised in vegas & a vegasfucker69 it’s my fucking home i moved last november (not my choice) & miss it violently & i was CRYING during vegas lights hard & it was so beautiful im gonna watch the video i got over & over & over that song means so much to me IM SO FUCKING HOMESICK

speaking of which, im pretty bitter i didnt see panic in vegas, this was my first panic show & that kinda bothers me, like i should’ve seen them in vegas a few yrs ago but it never worked out.... still, im grateful i saw them at all & im glad i saw the song live. i had my fob snapback on too, it says ‘las vegas’ on it cuz i got it there haha, wore that on purpose

he did the fucking running man thing towards the end & everyone cheered & i was like dONT ENABLE HIM

sat down during dancing’s not a crime cuz im a bitch who doesn’t like half the new record & also my knees hurt cuz im old apparently, anyway this chick glared at me then sang every word wat a fuckin prep lmao

o yah i forgot, in golden days he got in the crowd & let a girl sing the last chorus it was amazing i bet that made her life

AND DURING DOAB HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD that was SO FUCKING ENDEARING i was like “wow what a guy” then i was like “HE’S A BITCH U KNOW HIM” & i was like “hmm??? what a guy” but omg he made so many people happy it was really beautiful & sweet & i was like... half in love & then i came to my senses jksjfhjsdhfkjsdn

RLLY THO HE WALKED THRU THE CROWD & HIGH FIVED PPL & SHIT & GAVE HUGS & TOOK ART/LETTERS IT WAS SO DAMN GOOD HE WAS SO SWEET & LEGIT EVERYONE WAS FALLING FOR HIM & I WAS LIKE SUFFERING

legit guys, like it’s weird i used to watch his parascopes in 2015 or w/e & he’d say some Bad shit on there sometimes, like ik he does some messy shit BUT HE ACTED SO FUCKING LOVELY BLEH

also he’s very short, like he’s 2 inches taller than me but he looked so little in the crowd i was like... aw

the piano thing ;-; it was rlly pretty but my paranoia & anxiety was off the charts i was like that things gonna fucking fall & crush the crowd it’s gonna fucking fALL but it didnt ofc but i was stressed bleghh

but ok on a positive note, that was soo fucken lovely, bden stopped to try to make eye contact with as many ppl in as many places of possible, like he made the effort to get to everyone & make them have a special moment & it was ... magical ok thts fucken cliche as shit but it rlly was

ok i did smth lowkey embarrassing, i doubt he saw, but when he faced towards us i was just overwhelmed w like.. gratitude?? ive had a bad 2 years in every way, so being somewhere filled with love & fun & kindness & joy & all around good vibes, i was so grateful? i just wanted to thank him for creating that kinda atmosphere. so i like,,, blew kisses but not in a weird way, like later i was like oh that was kinda weird whyd i do that, but at that moment i didnt use my head & it was jus my instinctual way of saying thank u idk it’s lame but it happened so there ya go idfk

fun fact, my vid of it is out of focus cuz i was so enamored watching him & watching the crowd react it was pretty fucking magical it rlly was

once he got down from that piano he went “wow i feel so fucking inspired now” & i was like “bitch me too tf” 

legit it was absolutely indescribable, even watching my vid now.... wow. and u can hear me lightly crying in the back of my video too lmao, and i was shaking p hard, it was so fucking magical. like im getting emotional rn cuz it was exactly what i needed to remind myself that there is good stuff in the world thats worth staying for. 

i never was super big on panic or breb like i said but if i ever meet him im gonna thank him bc that. wow. transformative.

also that transition from the piano cover he did to dying in la was smooth af. it was all around gorgeous.

OK GIRLS GIRLS BOYS, I WAS SO CONCERNED W FILMING I COULDNT PUT MY LIGHT ON (i had a red heart) BUT OMG

he got a bi flag first, then a rainbow one, then another rainbow one... one was those hayley ones lol, and one ended up on the stage out of his eyesight & he never saw it & i felt so bad fjdnfds

G-D ALL THE GAYS SINGING WAS SO EMOTIONAL & THE RAINBOW BEHIND THEM ON STAGE (AND PAN FLAG COLORS AT TIMES?!??!?!)) IT WAS FUCKING MAGICAL & BRENDON LET A FLAG DRIFT IN THE WIND FOR A SEC BEFORE HE PUT IT ON IT WAS GORGEOUS

AND ALL THE RAINBOW LIGHTS IN THE CROWD FUCK DUDE

breb might be a turd but he’s the only one of these emo dudes who parades around draped in flags & so aggressively empowers gay fans through it, and for that, i respect him. ik the song has more perverse origins but now it’s a bi anthem that rlly connects w lgbt fans & it’s rlly beautiful, AND i got another gorgeous shot of a pride flag surrounded by lights & im just. wow.

after, breb said “that is gorgeous btw” about the rainbow lights, and “thank u for participating in love” & giggled, i got this shot of the lights in the dark lookin incredible ;-;

also said “this a record number of flags tonight, very cool” so portland is rlly gay apparently, kewl

nicole doin the nicotine bass line slayed me dead wowie u can hear me go “WOO” on the vid lmfao (im a bassist so i lov her double)

ive seen miss jackson live twice now cuz at my monumentour show, new politics brought lolo out to cover it so that’s dope lmfao

anyway bden did the fuckin valley girl voice for “the scenery is so loud” which was delightful

he had us do the ‘ayyyy’ bit woo

NICOLES BASS,,, SPARKLY

drum thingy ;-; speaking of monumentour, andy & patrick famously did a drum off & i MISSED IT cuz the stage at my venue wasnt large enough to fit both sets ;-; so they didnt do it ;-; but bden doin his own drum solo kinda made up for it a little bit

fuckin show off tho he played like 3 instruments & i was like u bitch stop

there was some kinda audio sample that went “i got a fever & the only prescription is more caffeine(?)” & bden mouthed the words along, and some girl behind me went “SAME” 

UPDATE: googled it, i knew i recognized chris walken’s voice, he says cowbell not caffeine & it’s a skit from snl that i’ve SEEN im a disgrace anyway that was fun also woo cowbell

the big screen kept cutting from bden drumming to a shot of the crowd & someone holding a pride flag & i was like yah drumming is gay now

lmao i only filmed like a minute of a song unless i rlly liked it so i could spend the rest of the song gettin funky right?? & i like king of the clouds but not a ton, but i filmed the whole thing cuz the visuals were so pretty lmfaooo i jus was staring at them like wowwww prettyyyyy

during the ‘i dont feel anything at all’ he looked rlly sad & i couldnt tell if it was genuine or if he was goin for like a pouty look djfdsjfndjks then right after he winked so ig pouty thx breb

at some point he introduced nicole&kenny plus the strings & brass ppl as “his friends” it was sweet & he was like “these lovely ladies” about the strings & “these handsome men” about the brass & i was like WOO GAY RIGHTS

FIRE DURIN CRAZY EQUALS GENIUS. BOZ FLASHBACKS. FIRE ON MY FACE HUNDREDS OF FEET AWAY. FEAR. DONT LIKE FIRE. SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION. KENNY WAS TOO CLOSE. FEAR.

a whole arena singing bohemian rhapsody 25+ years after freddie mercury’s death was Incredible, i dont believe in afterlives but if there is one i hope he was watching & enjoying & knowing his legacy was staying alive bc wow that was powerful

THE END WAS CRUNK AF HOLY SHIT BDEN GOT DOWN

i cant believe i remember the day emperors came out like,,,, jeez. so lit live tho

I HAVENT MENTIONED HIS SPARKLY SUIT YET. KING OF SPARKLY SUITS

BRENDON DOIN HIS HIGH NOTE BIT & THE STAGE LIGHTING UP FULLY ON FIRE FUCK DUDE

bitchden took his shirt off when he came out for the encore..... bitch

SINS,,, FUCK DUDE,,,, MY CHILDHOOD WAS CRYING HHYSTERICALLYYY, 

in the background of my vid u can hear me do the ‘ily’ ‘ily’ from the mv emo ass

my lil sis got fucken turnt to sins lmfaooo??? danced her ass off???

us: W H O R E bden: ily

VIOLINISTS GETTIN WILD TOO

they played footage of the music vid & breb & his fuckin iconic outfit & i was a lil emo kid again omg i cant believe i saw it live

he did funny voice durin calls for a toast nerd ... least he’s not entirely bitter abt songs ryan wrote anymore tho lmao... or maybe he is considering theres only two on the 30 song setlist ;-;

i gotta listen to afycso again damn it’s so iconic

oh yah at some bit he said “ive been doing this for 14 years, im 31 now” & it reminded me like.. most of these emo bands, they started so young. & got successful at such a young age. it’s so crazy. idk. wow. 

he got growly during the chorus, that’s pstump’s thing beeb dont steal it lmao

CONFETTI fitting ending, & i got him walking off which is cool, other bands it goes dark & they just kinda disappear & it’s unsatisfying ;-;

so yah i finally saw breadman live, i got 400 pics and 30 videos so that all got spam posted over the last few days lmao

[rainagainstmywindow]

Breaking Vows

So here’s my fic for the @wlwpjoexchange ! I got @omegasmileyface I really hope you like it! Sorry I took forever, I got a little carried away because I loved this pairing so much! It’s my first time writing wlw and I loved it and ahhh I just hope you like!

Reyna found the Greeks excitement quite absurd. She didn’t doubt the Huntress’ abilities, she’d seen Thalia Grace in action herself, but she’d also seen her sister and the Amazons. They didn’t stand a chance, especially in such a rudimentary game of capture the flag. Apparently the Greek campers had never beaten the Hunters of Artemis, but they all seemed to be rooting for them. “Sorry,” said Jason as he walked over to her Pegasus. He was wearing a gray shirt that read Hunters Rule!

    Reyna chuckled. “Let the best sister win.” He dipped his head but seemed pretty amused by the whole ordeal. Reyna watched him join Piper and Annabeth who both waved back at her.

    Hylla was more than happy to let her warriors fight while she led from the background, often choosing to come in as a last resort or as a surprise, but she’d been eager to fight Artemis’ Lieutenant herself.

   “This is going to be awesome.” Now it was Percy who spoke beside her. He was already mounted on his own black Pegasus, Blackjack she heard him call him.

  “Yes,” agreed Reyna. “I rather enjoy watching my sister fight.”

    “Yeah I heard she’s deadly. If she’s anything like you, the hunters will have a good fight on their hands.”

     “I’ve seen Thalia in action, the Amazons won‘t be disappointed either.”

 Percy’s smile had a little mischief. “You talk like you already know who’s gonna win.”

   “They hunters will put on a good fight, I expect nothing less from a daughter of Jupiter, but the Amazons are, like you said, deadly.”

   “Zeus,” Percy corrected as he took off into the air, shaking his head with an amused look similar to Jason’s. “She’s a daughter of Zeus.”

 Reyna rolled her eyes. She wasn’t underestimating Thalia. She was just being realistic. Her sister had to fight for her throne and her warriors didn’t have the protection of mortality. Her sister had also been leading the Amazons longer as far as she knew. Plus, and she would never said this aloud from fear of sounding pretentious, she’d taken down Thalia with her hands tied before.

 She kicked off into the air. Below her Greek and Roman campers alike gathered at the entrance of the woods to see the two groups of lethal women burst into action. Reyna hadn’t been allowed to referee due to her relation to Hylla, but had still been granted permission to observe from above,  along with several other skilled Pegasus riders. She’d been surprised to find that Annabeth hadn’t been chosen as the Greek referee, but she’d laughed it off and said that she’d be too biased. Jason had briefly mentioned something about Thalia and her being on the run together when they were younger.

  Chiron looked up at them from the ground. Ready? Dakota nodded and she saw Percy do the same from the corner of her eye. The centaur blew the whistle and they were off. Reyna immediately scanned for Thalia and Hylla, but she figured they were seeking the other out, waiting for the right moment. Meanwhile she observed a young girl make a rather spectacular shot, pinning one of her sister’s warriors to a tree. The campers cheered in the background, Leo had set up a live feed to some screens at the entrance of the woods. Will Solace rushed to the warrior but she simply yanked the arrow, snapped it at her knee and ran after the young girl.

   Reyna looked up at Percy who had flown further to her right. He looked down in concentration, whistle ready at his lips, unable to help himself from smiling every now and again. He kept scanning the woods. Reyna knew that he too was looking for the leaders.

  Finally, after twenty minutes filled with expectation, thunder rumbled followed by the surprised shriek of an Amazon. Reyna urged her pegasus to get closer. She caught a glimpse of celestial bronze knives and smiled as she heard the clink of Hylla’s belt follow. Below her Amazons and Hunters engaged in impressive battle. Celestial bronze hunting knives and arrows against the spears, swords and daggers of the Amazons. The campers were relishing the fighting but Reyna paid no attention. She swept towards the place where she’d heard Thalia’s lightning. She was approaching a clearing. When she saw her sister emerge, knives in hand, she almost growled in anticipation.

She was now almost shoulder to shoulder with Percy, who had dropped any act of referring and was now watching as eagerly as she. “There’s Thalia,” he said, pointing at a dark figure perched atop a tree. She was holding a bow and arrow to her sister’s head. Hylla didn’t even flinch at the threat, her eyes fixed intently on her target. Reyna cursed for not bringing a pair of binoculars, but Percy seemed to be reading her mind and handed her a pair she hadn’t noticed he had around his neck. He was smiling, eyes never once leaving the two girls.

Through the binoculars Reyna got a clearer view of Thalia’s face. She seemed to be weighing out her options. Finally, she smirked and threw her bow aside, making her quiver disappear. She told her sister something that made her grin and pulled out her own hunting knives. Thalia jumped out of the tree and in a split second the daughters of Bellona and Zeus had attacked.

Reyna could admire both styles, Thalia’s clearly Greek but still different from other Greek campers she’d met, and her sister’s an even balance of powerful blows and speed. One such blow was too quick for Thalia, who was almost swept off her feet when Hylla lunged towards her torso, leaving an opening for her sister to kick one of Thalia’s knives away. Thalia retaliated by taking advantage of her free hand and punching the Amazon Queen square in the face. Percy almost laughed beside her but passed it off as a cough when she glared at him.

Below them the fight continued with no acknowledgement of the lack of weapon and bloody nose. Reyna thought it had ended for good when Thalia slid between her sister’s legs, making a nasty gash as she went along, but Hylla simply grabbed her by one of the many chains she wore around her neck and slammed her back on the ground, knife pressed to her throat. The Amazon stood over her just like Reyna had back in Puerto Rico. She recalled the raspiness of Thalia’s voice as she whispered close enough for her lips to feel her breath, but was pulled out of her thoughts when thunder clapped above them, almost hitting her and Percy, and traveled down to where both girls were. Reyna almost swept down to her sister, scared of what a direct lightning strike might do to her but Percy held her back. “C’mon, Reyna,” he told her, “Thalia wouldn’t do that.”

Thankfully, Percy was right. Somehow Thalia had dispersed the full force of the strike, causing the air around her and Hylla to crackle with electricity and her sister’s hair to puff up twice its size. It was enough to get Hylla to loosen her grip and for Thalia to jump back into action. Both girls blurred into a mess of knives and battle cries. Reyna saw another knife fly away, but this time it had been her sister’s. They finally slowed down enough for them to catch a glimpse of their state. Hylla was bleeding for the deep cut Thalia had inflicted on her leg as well as her bloody nose, and Thalia herself had a black eye and a bit of a limp. Reyna focused on their faces and found that they were both smiling. They seemed to be enjoying the show just as much as Reyna and Percy. She caught Thalia’s eyes travelling to her sister’s belt and both girls seemed to come to a sort of silent agreement. They both dropped their remaining knives, her sister unfastening her belt and striking it against the ground menacingly and Thalia pulling out a bracelet that suddenly transformed into a spear. Beside Reyna Percy cursed excitedly in what she guessed was Ancient Greek.

Clearly both girls had been saving the best for last. Each weapon was practically and extension of them. Hylla swung her belt with lighting speed catching one of Thalia’s ankles and tossing her into the air, but the young Lieutenant simply twisted in mid-air and used every last bit of the wider range her spear provided. It was speed and technique like Reyna had rarely ever seen. They seemed to move closer and closer until, “Percy!” called Dakota, “What are you doing?” Percy immediately turned, clearly annoyed by the distraction and looked at where Dakota was pointing. This time he cursed in English, and he didn’t seem as excited as before.

Reyna was trying hard to concentrate, Thalia had the tip of her spear pointed at her sister’s carotid and Hylla had managed to wrap the belt around Thalia’s throat, but just then Percy blew his whistle at them. “Hey!” He called. “You have no idea how much I hate to interrupt, but your girls seem to be having too much fun trying to kill each other!”

Reyna finally tore her gaze from the binoculars and urged her Pegasus to move closer to where Percy had sped off. She was shocked to see the forest decimated. It looked as if a tornado had hit it. Below her trees swayed, trying hard not to fall altogether, and fires seemed to have erupted all over the fields. “Hey!” Percy yelled. “Careful with the nymphs!” When he noticed that neither Amazons nor Hunters reacted to his yells or whistles he directed his voice towards the spectators. “Call the Demeter cabin! Quick!” Dozens of campers ran at his command and then he turned to Reyna. “Get Thalia and Reyna to break them up!”

Reyna nodded as he sped away and swept down to where she’d last seem her sister and Thalia. They were already running towards the commotion. “What happened?” Hylla asked, wiping some blood off her top lip.

“The Amazons and Hunters seemed to have gotten a little carried away. I think they might’ve forgotten the creatures that live inside the forest.”

“What?!” Thalia looked furious, her blue eyes flashed terrifyingly. The look made Reyna’s heart race. Thalia ran towards her Hunters, forgetting about her limp, Hylla followed after her.

      The scene they arrived at was chaos. Several campers were trying to tear Hunters from Amazons and vice versa but they seemed to be in a frenzy. There were several fires erupting around them and Reyna saw several nymphs running around in a panic. Thalia and Hylla stared dumbfounded, but it was Thalia who spoke first. One of her hunters had already spotted her and the mere sight of her lieutenant seemed to be enough to stop her in her tracks.

        “What is the meaning of this?” She wasn’t shouting, but her voice seemed to boom over the clearing. Slowly more and more hunters noticed their leader and stopped. Amazons did the same when they noticed Hylla’s furious look, a look that made Reyna feel sorry for the Amazons once they were alone with her sister. Thalia’s tactics were different though, she wanted the punishment to be public. Reyna once again remembered that she hadn’t been lieutenant for long, not by immortal hunter’s standards, and understood the need to make a show of the situation. “What exactly do you expect me to tell Lady Artemis when she hears of this? Her own hunters damaging that which she swore to protect?” Reyna caught her features turn into a disgusted snarl as she looked around, “you’ve brought me shame!” We’re guests in this Camp!”

    By then all commotion had ceased completely. No Hunter would spare to look a their lieutenant in the eye. The Amazons has dropped their weapons and stood frozen, waiting to hear what their own queen had to say. Hylla said nothing which was possibly worse. Just then a wave swept over the clearing, quickly putting out any fires. Percy dropped down from his Pegasus soon after. He’d spared Reyna, Hylla and Thalia but hadn’t even tried to cover the other girls, they stood soaked and embarrassed. Some even threw him angry looks he ignored. A petite girl charged out from on of the bushes that had been previously on fire. She looked quite odd to Reyna but she couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t until she yanked the whistle from around Percy’s neck and started blowing it furiously did she notice her skin was green. Reyna figured she must be a nymph. “It’s a draw!” She shrieked furiously. “You all lose! You wicked women! The Council will hear of this! My boyfriend-“

      “Yes. Thank you, Juniper!” Percy quickly stepped in, taking the whistle from her hand. “I agree.”

      “The Council?” Reyna heard her sister ask.

      “Yes!” Answered the nymph, Juniper, testily. It was obvious to her that Hylla was one of the leaders. “And you shall all be punished for this abominable conduct!”

        “Agreed.” The nymph seems a bit taken aback by her sister’s instant agreement. “I will meet with your Council at once. I will also like to apologize to you personally for the action of my warriors. Know that this won’t go unnoticed by me either.”

       Juniper lost her rage fast. “Yes yes, thank you! You are forgiven...m’lady.” Apparently she considers a courtesy was necessary since she bowed and scrunched up her soaked dress in a Victorian fashion. She directed her green eyes at Thalia now and some of her fire seemed to come back. “I expect you’ll do the same, Thalia. And don’t think that because Grover-“

     “I know Juniper. I’m really sorry this should’ve never happened.”

      She gave another firm nod, chin up high, and turned around and disappeared into the forest. Reyna turned to look at Thalia just in time to catch her off guard. For a second she looked tired and embarrassed, then she noticed her and quickly went back to yelling at her hunters. Arrangements to meet with the council tomorrow evening were hastily made.

All Reyna could think about as she walked back was the look she’d seen on Thalia’s face and how much it reminded her of herself.

**********

“It was embarrassing that’s what it was!” Thalia told Jason later that day. They were inside their father’s cabin. “And of course Hylla kept her composure the whole time and I just lost it!”

“You have more to prove than she does. I probably would’ve done the same.” He looked quite uncomfortable inside the mostly empty cabin. Thalia noticed how he kept eyeing the huge statue of Zeus in the middle. She couldn’t blame him, it’d always creeped her out. “Couldn’t we meet in your cabin?”

“This is my cabin.”

He rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“I can’t bring a guy into Artemis’s cabin, it’s against the rules.” She sighed as she looked around. Jason had left the little corner she’d camped out in untouched. “I got carried away. I don’t know I just wanted to prove something I guess.”

Jason looked confused at her. “You’re freaking Thalia Grace! What is there to prove?”

Thalia immediately thought of her little audience back in the forest. Was she showing off? As soon as the thought entered her mind she found, to her horror, that she was blushing. She quickly turned away, but apparently Jason caught it.

“Okay whoa!” He said. “There’s definitely something you’re not telling me here.”

“Shudup,” she mumbled, absolutely furious at herself. She was an adult for crying out loud! Lady Artemis’s right hand and lieutenant to a small army of deadly hunters! She cleared her throat. “It’s nothing okay.”

But Jason wasn’t about to drop this. He walked around to get a good look at her face. She begrudgingly looked up at him. There was a wickedly mischievous grin forming on his face. “What is up with you, sis?”

She looked back at her hands, afraid she might blush again. This was Jason, she could tell him anything. She was being stupid, right? “I just...remember how I told you about Puerto Rico? Well I might’ve left some details out.”

“Like?”

She sighed, pushing down her ego and ignoring the heat that rose back to her face. “Like maybe your good friend Reyna pretty much kicked my ass with her hands tied. And maybe I noticed her and dumbass Percy watching me and Hylla fighting earlier and wanted to show off okay!”

She looked up at him once again. His face seemed to change from confusion, to understanding, and finally to amusement. “You were showing off for Reyna?”

“What?! No! When you say it like that it sounds weird!”

He laughed. Gods he really annoyed her sometimes. “What then?”

“I just wanted her to see that I wasn’t someone she could just beat every time! She caught me off guard that time! That I deserve the praise-” She cut herself off. Gods she sounded full of herself. “What I mean is-”

“That you wanted to impress her.” Thalia thought he might be making fun of her again but he seemed genuinely determined to understand her. Somehow it made her feel worse.

“Who? Reyna?” Thalia wanted to brush it off, but in all honesty Jason had hit the nail on its head. The realization made Thalia panic. Why would she want to impress her? “Just forget it okay? I gotta go prepare for the stupid meeting tomorrow.”

“I could h-”

“No it’s fine.”

The door slammed shut as Thalia left. Jason stood there, debating whether or not to follow her.

The next morning he still felt guilty about the whole ordeal. He could tell that he’d further embarrassed her sister and that yesterday that was the last thing she needed. Once again he felt like there was so much he didn’t know about his sister, so he went to the person that seemed to know her best.

Annabeth was in the arena, watching closely as two young campers sparred and stepping in every now and again to correct their posture or make a quick note. She nodded  when she saw him but gestured at him to give her a second. Jason stood patiently as a new set of kids sparred. Once they were done Annabeth walked towards him. “Hey! What’s up? I know I haven’t gotten back to you about the temple-”

“Oh no it’s okay. Percy told me you were busy with college applications. I actually wanted to talk to you about something else.”

He walked beside her as she dropped her weapon off at the shed and took a swing of water. “Thalia?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“She stopped by my cabin last night. She seemed weird.”

“She’s pretty upset about yesterday.”

Annabeth shook her head. “No. I mean it sucked and everything but she’s dealt with worse. She seemed almost,” she shrugged, “I don’t know frazzled? Which I didn’t really think possible.”

Jason agreed. “She told me something about Puerto Rico and Reyna disarming her or something.”

Annabeth stopped mid-sip. “She never told me that. She didn’t even mention Reyna.”

Jason found that even more odd. Thalia told Annabeth everything. “Apparently she wanted to show off. Show her she wasn’t easy to beat or something.”

Annabeth still didn’t look convinced. “I mean sure that sounds more like her. She had this whole ego battle with Percy years ago, but she got over it. She grew out of it y’know? Did she say that?”

“Those were her words, but in all honesty I think she was trying to impress her.”

Annabeth got that look in her eye, the one that told Jason her thoughts were moving faster than he could comprehend. “I bet it’s nothing,” she said abruptly, “just stress or something. I don’t know.”

It seemed to Jason that in fact it wasn’t nothing and that Annabeth did know, but before he could question her further she mumbled something about needing a shower and rushed off.

**************

Reyna knew it was foolish of her to stay an extra day at Camp Half-Blood. There was too much work to be done and it wasn’t fair for her to leave Frank to do all of it. But she’d stayed anyways. Frank had told her it was fine in the Iris Message she’d sent, she was still getting used to it but Percy was nice enough to set it up for her. He’d understood she didn’t often get to see Hylla and since her stayed had been extended due to yesterday’s fiasco he figured it made sense. In all honesty Reyna hadn’t even thought about her sister. She felt guilty, but all she’d been able to think about since yesterday was Thalia Grace, and how utterly deadly she looked using that spear.

It was just her luck that in that moment, Thalia Grace herself was walking back to her cabin, tired and annoying after getting an earful from an ancient satyr and sheepish looks from Grover during the Council meeting. Reyna was so engrossed in her mental picture of Thalia in battle that she didn’t notice Thalia walking towards her. The daughter of Zeus, in turn, was so busy grumbling and she didn’t notice Reyna, which resulted in both girls running into each other and ending in an almost identical situation as the one months prior. This time, however, Thalia had ended on top. She cursed but stopped mid-sentence once she noticed who’d she’d actually run into. “Reyna! Gods, I’m sorry! I didn’t even see you!”

“Don’t be! I walked right into you-”

“I should’ve looked up or something.”

Had anyone been around, they would’ve been able to comment on how strangely high both their voices had gotten, and how intensely they looked at each other when they both abruptly stopped their rambling. After a couple of seconds Thalia was the one to notice and almost jumped back when Reyna’s shaky breath touched her lips. She got up an offered her hand to Reyna, who in turn accepted, unable to keep a blush from creeping to her cheeks. Both girls stood awkwardly facing each other, neither one used to feeling this nervous. Reyna tried to ease the tension a bit. “So...how was the Council meeting?”

A small flicker of annoyance passed through Thalia’s face. Reyna preferred it over the deer-caught-in-headlights expression she’d worn before. “Awful,” she said, “your sister knows how to handle official business much better than me.”

“Surprisingly diplomatic for someone so aggressive, right?”

Thalia chuckled. “Where you waiting for her?”

Reyna once again failed to hide a blush. In all honesty, she hadn’t been waiting for her sister. She’s subconsciously walked to this clearing, a small part of her expecting her to run into someone, maybe not quite so literally. “Yeah-yes,”she lied, “Did you see where she went?”

“I think she went back to the Amazons. I don’t really know where they’re staying.”

“Hylla likes it that way. She didn’t even tell me.” Reyna felt guilty at not even trying to look. Surely, Hylla expected her to and was probably wondering why she hadn’t already been to see her.

Beside Reyna, Thalia was building up the courage to ask Reyna something. She hadn’t really figured out what she was going to ask but she’d jump that hurdle when she got there. Reyna’s thoughts, however, had stayed on her sister and she’d made up her mind to finally go see her. “I should get going,” she told Thalia, whose mouth was half-way open. She quickly hurried away, leaving Thalia feeling confused and once again embarrassed. Reyna was almost gone when she stopped and faced Thalia once again. “By the way,” she started, a bit of a smile hiding in the corner of her smile, “nice fighting yesterday, quite impressive.”

************

Thalia’s head buzzes with Reyna’s words all day. As punishment, her hunters and her got assigned to wash the dishes at camp and she’s so distracted she almost plunges her hand into the lava without any gloves. Cara stops her just in time and gives her a weird look. Thalia is reminded of a very similar look given to her by Annabeth earlier. We need to talk. Annabeth sure hadn’t gotten any less bossy. Thalia figured Jason must’ve told her something. Not that there was anything to tell.

That night Thalia entered cabin six to find Annabeth analyzing some blueprints. “What are you working on now?”

“Remodelations, temples, same old.” She waved it away but Thalia still felt a surge of pride. She remembered seven-year-old Annabeth going on and on about all the things she wanted to build. Back then Thalia would nod along but knew deep down that they’d be lucky to get past the week, a future where she became an architect didn’t really seem possible. Yet there she was. “Talked to Jason,” Annabeth said, still looking at the blueprints, “he seems to be under the impression that he upset you.”

“Why would he think that?”

Annabeth fixed her with a look, a look that Thalia herself had taught her, that said cut the bullshit. “What’s going on with you?”

Thalia was tempted to say nothing and keep ignoring the weird ball of nerves in her stomach lately, but this was Annabeth. “I-I don’t know. It’s weird and stupid.” Annabeth rolled the blueprint up and finally looked up at her. Thalia was thankful the cabin was empty and suspected Annabeth had planned it ahead. “I feel stupid.”

“For wanting to impress Reyna?”

A small pang of annoyance hit Thalia but she pushed it down. Annabeth didn’t miss a beat. “Yes, Okay? What the hell is wrong with me?”

“So it’s not an ego thing?”

“What? No!”

Annabeth looked more interested than before. “Good.”

“I mean I wasn’t super pleased with what happened in Puerto Rico but it might have more to do with the fact that I lost Phoebe.”

Annabeth nodded. “She was one hell of a huntress.”

Thalia thought that Phoebe was more than just one hell of a huntress. She’d been her best friend among the hunters and had backed her up since day one. But she knew Annabeth understood. They’d shared loss before. “I don’t know what got into me to be honest. I mean Hylla is a bit intimidating with how she handles all the command stuff but if anything I’m glad she’s there to set an example for me to follow.”

Annabeth chuckled. “Wow, look at Thalia all grown up and mature.”

“Shut up.” She couldn’t even keep the smile from her face. She really missed Annabeth. “I actually ran into her today. Reyna, I mean.”

“And?”

“And I mean literally ran into her. Knocked her down and everything. As if yesterday wasn’t bad enough!”

Annabeth laughed. “So,” she got closer to Thalia and nudged her in the ribs, “did you ask her out or what?”

Thalia almost jumped straight into the air. Her heart raced. “Wh-”

“C’mon, Thalia. I saw how you looked at her. It’s okay.”

“Of course it isn’t!” Thalia has started whispering. “I made a vow Annabeth and-”

“And what?” Her grey eyes seemed to be challenging Thalia, but she’d seen them before a fight, this wasn’t it. “You’ve given so much Thalia. You deserve this, whatever it is. We don’t owe anything to the gods.” Thalia couldn’t help but be reminded of Luke. Annabeth saw it in her eyes. “He would’ve wanted you to keep trying, to allow yourself-”

“Stop.” It wasn’t only the vow she’d made to Lady Artemis. It was the fact that she’d made a much stronger vow, to herself. She’d promised herself never again the moment she’d pushed Luke off that cliff.

Both girls looked at each other but said nothing. They didn’t have to. Annabeth’s face told Thalia don’t give up and Thalia’s argued right back I already have.

***********

Reyna was only half-surprised to find Jason in the fighting arena. Back in Camp Jupiter they always ended up training at the same times, even before they were praetors. That’s how they’d become friends. No one really spoke to Jason, he was a son of Jupiter from a disgraced cohort, but Reyna had seen him fight before and welcomed the idea of a good training partner. He looked up at her and smiled. “Just like old times.”

“With the minor adjustment of this being an arena in a Greek camp.”

He laughed. “Right.”

The silence that followed was awkward, but Jason seemed determined to pretend like nothing had changed, at least for a little while. He drew his sword and Reyna followed almost on instinct. Before they both knew it they were sparring. Reyna was surprised to find some of the Greek style had seeped into Jason’s technique, but she hadn’t lagged on her trying all these months. Overall it felt good to fight with Jason again. She found herself letting go for the first time in almost a year. She’d missed him, missed this.

Afterwards they both sat, trying to catch their breath and taking turns drinking out of Jason’s canteen. It was almost painful how easy it was to go back to this routine because, at the end of the day, everything had changed. Reyna had to go back to Camp Jupiter and she’d only see Jason every now and then. He had new friends, new responsibilities.

“I missed this, “ he finally said.

“So did I,” she agreed.

He sighed and looked at his hands. She could tell he was nervous. He always bit down on that scar on his lip. “I just wanted to say I was sorry.” She looked away so he rushed to make himself clearer. “What I mean is that I just showed up after nine months like nothing had happened and treated you like a stranger.”

“I know you were still struggling with you memory, Jason.”

Reyna hated talking about things like this. Jason knew it, but he’d already stayed silent on the matter for too long. “No, Reyna. I was scared of going back, scared of how much I changed. But, all those months, they don’t erase the fact that you’re my friend. That you fought beside me and had my back for years.”

Reyna braced herself to look at him. It seemed foolish now that she’d been nervous about talking to him. It was Jason after all. And maybe he had glasses now, and he fought more like Greek and he had a girlfriend and friends she didn’t know, but he was still Jason. “I still have your back Jason. Always.”

“You too, Rey.” Gods she’d missed him. She didn’t have to be put-together for him. Seeing him come back to Camp Jupiter, their home, and treat it like it didn’t matter as much as it does had shattered her, and the worst part was that she’d had to keep her poker face on throughout the whole thing. The fact that he acknowledged it, acknowledged her, was like having a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he told her again, “and I get if you don’t want to go back to how we were-”

“Of course I want to, Jason!” She cursed herself for raising her voice and felt her face go red with shame as she felt the sting of tears but kept going. If she stopped she would never say what she’d been fearing since she realized he was actually alive. “I just thought that it wasn’t a possibility anymore. You’re finally who we dreamed of being! Who I always saw you pushing down all those years! And I don’t know if I fit into your life now-”

“Reyna,” true to his Roman upbringing it was Jason who felt the shame of the sting of tears now, “you will always fit into my life. You’re my family.”

They let the silence settle in between them after that. It wasn’t uncomfortable. They were both mildly aware of the other wiping a few tears away here and there, but the awkward tension that had been following since Jason came back to Camp Jupiter was mostly gone. It wasn’t exactly like before, Reyna doubted it ever would be, but maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

After a while Jason asked: “How much longer are you staying? Just until Hylla leaves?”

Reyna had actually come back from talking to her sister when she decided to head to the arena to squeeze in some training. “She’s leaving tonight, actually. She promised the Council to check on some endangered nymphs so they’re heading out.”

“Hylla must share your bargaining skills, because the Hunters have to wash the dishes all week.”

Reyna chuckled along but a small spark on interest flourished in her chest. “So, Th-your sister is staying all week?”

“Seems like it, yeah.” Jason eyed Reyna suspiciously from the corner of his eye. Reyna pretended to ignore it. “She actually mentioned you yesterday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah she noticed you and Percy watching her and Hylla fight.”

“Oh well,” Reyna stalled by taking another swing of water, “they’re both very impressive fighters. I mainly just flew over there to see what was holding up, Percy.” Jason smiled to himself and laughed when Reyna punched his shoulder. “C’mon,” she said as a means to divert the conversation, “let’s go get some food.”

***********

Annabeth had physically forced Thalia to go to the campfire the following night. She’d even had to bring in Percy as reinforcement, for which Thalia had almost accomplished her long-running goal of killing someone with one glare. “C’mon, Grace!” She flinched as the sound of her mother’s last name. “It’s not going to kill you! Jason’ll be there! You could get in some quality sibling bonding time!”

She rolled her eyes and complained the whole walk there, but she finally agreed to go. She had been meaning to talk to Jason again anyways. Thalia had been too busy washing dishes the previous day. When she got there, however, she was surprised to see him seating not only with Piper, but with Reyna as well. “There’s Jason,” Percy stupidly pointed out. He had a dubious grin on. Thalia quickly looked to Annabeth, but of course she’d understood that their conversation, like most of the conversations they had, was very much private. Percy still knew something though. Thalia was once again reminded to never underestimate Percy. He’d been up there watching her and Hylla fight with Reyna during capture the flag after all. This led her to wonder how Reyna had reacted to her. She was already regretting coming to the campfire.

She was formulating a plan on how to run away without Annabeth noticing when Jason saw her. He smiled and beckoned for her to join him where he was sitting. It was just her luck that the only available seat was beside Reyna. They were packed in so snuggly that Thalia’s arm was pressed right besides Reyna. They were both wearing sleeveless shirts, so their bare skin was touching. Thalia felt as her whole arm were on fire. Piper was telling them something about her sister, Lacie, and this strange girl she’d seen at her school, but Thalia could barely concentrate. It was like waging a small war with herself and she kept losing. A small strand of Reyna’s hair had fallen loose from her braid as well, and every time Reyna leaned forward it tickled Thalia’s chin. She rushed up to rub the feeling away and accidentally caught Reyna’s eyes. And, once again, she lost the small war, but this time she didn’t fight back. You’ve given so much, she remembered Annabeth telling her.

Maybe I deserve to try.

Reyna’s eyes were strong and vulnerable all at the same time. When she finally looked away Thalia found that she kept searching for them. She was probably doing a crappy job at keeping up with the conversation, and for a second she felt guilty about not making a bigger effort to listen to her brother. Then she remembered how Jason had moved towards Piper when he’d seen her, opening a space for her to seat beside Reyna. So she sat half-listening to Jason and Piper talk and sing along to cheesy songs. Her other half slowly melted into Reyna’s side. Their hands ended up touching and Thalia felt her heart in her throat as neither one pulled away. Finally, she felt a familiar huff of breath hit the side of her face. “Let’s get out of here,” Reyna said. Thalia grabbed her hand and pulled them into the forest. She knew that if she looked back she’d lose her nerve so she kept going until she found a clearing with enough moonlight. She was forced to look back when she felt Reyna’s hand finally pull away.

Reyna was looking up at the moon, but quickly looked back down at her. Her eyes only stayed momentarily on hers, then they moved down until they rested on her lips. Thalia was out of breath due to the combined factors of almost running to the clearing and of her heart suddenly choosing to beat erratically. She felt like bolting when Reyna moved closer towards her, but found that her body didn’t respond. All she could do was keep her eyes trained on Reyna, and she finally allowed herself to think: gods she’s beautiful. Reyna wasn’t wearing her purple cape, or armor. Thalia realized she’d never seen her without a combination of both. She looked more real with a simple pair of jeans and a purple shirt. She looked achingly human. Thalia’s hand moved of its own accord to cup her face. She could feel Reyna’s equally fast heartbeat, could tell she was just as nervous. But they both seemed resolved to stay.

Reyna felt more like herself than she had in years. She was scared, terrified actually, but she wasn’t thinking about anything in particular when she looked at Thalia. She caught sight of her lips, felt her hand -rough with callouses from years of wielding a weapon- on her face, and let go.

Thalia thought Reyna’s lips tasted like glory.

[valeriemperez]

If Barry IS in jail, is he getting a lot less screentime for multiple eps? They rly gonna do that to their top actor when they couldn't manage to keep him MIA for even rly half of the premiere? Also, do you think he gets arrested at the end of tonight's ep (409)?

I don’t think he’ll have much less screentime. More like we will see the shenanigans at court for an episode or two, and then the shenanigans at Iron Heights with Warden Wolfe and the metas for an episode or two. And then hopefully at least one WA visiting scene an episode lmao.

Obviously this is an old ask, so you already know he got arrested at the end of 9.

The fact that the writers had Iris shade the double wedding is a big difference to how she is written on other shows. On the Flash, we can almost guarantee better writing for her. She’s allowed to speak her mind, do crazy shit and much more.

Even on Flash, she’s not always respected. But letting her shade the double wedding was a step in the right direction. I feel like people who say it’s OOC don’t get (or care?) how often Iris is silenced and must suppress her feelings for the sake of others. The fact that she feels free enough to be annoyed and throw some shade in Barry’s presence speaks to how safe she feels with him as well.

we were right about TotF! it’s so early though. this is not a sl that can last all the way to the end of the season- Barry can’t be sitting in jail or a courtroom from episodes 10-23. i think he can have 4 eps max of that, then he has to get out. i predict Dawn Allen will help to clear his name. i also don’t think we’re done with Neil Sandilands, i bet they bring him back somehow eventually.

I agree with you about it only lasting 4 episodes max and about Dawn helping him get out. I can’t wait! I expect Neil back in flashbacks at the very least, but I wouldn’t put it past Marlize to make herself a replica of her husband lol.

Seeing the deleted scene made me laugh. It was only a matter of time before the queen snapped. When Barry said “You’d kill him” to Iris, I like that he knew what his wife was capable of. To end this, Barry’s poor attempt to scold Ralph (Listen to the tone of his voice) when he said “You know how hard it is to run in flip flops?” had me laughing and shaking my head.

Candice is such an excellent comedic actress, we need more of this. And Iris/Barry together are a barrel of laughs.

Isn’t episode 12 called Honey I Shrunk Team Flash? how could Barry be in jail for that?

Perhaps Barry being in jail is part of the reason the team has “shrunk?” 

How much is Barry going to eat in prison? Lol he has a high metabolism poor baby

Oh, my goodness! He’s gonna starve!

I love WA so much that I’m the person watching fanvids on YouTube but to the other anon it might not be a bad idea if WA has a little time apart in upcoming episodes ONLY because then haters & fanboys can’t complain it’s become the WA show. Plus I wouldn’t mind seeing WA long for each other, just not for too long.

Haters will complain no matter what, but I don’t mind seeing WA long for each other either!

Has anyone ever suggested to the writers to make WA webisodes and post, that way it wouldn’t take time in the episode but we could still get quality WA content?

I don’t know if they have suggested it, but they definitely should! Depends on whether Grant and Candice are willing and have time, I suppose.

I’m not on twitter and I really would rather not be. But is it possible for people who are there to occasionally remind the writers that Wally has fans who care about him? Because I’m scared he’s going to be written off.

The more voices we have, the better it’ll be. But I’ll let people know to be more vocal - especially now that it seems Wally is headed to Legends.

The superc😒rp/Supergir👎 fandom wanna act like they’re progressive and shit for shipping white women and it’s not about race when they say James doesn’t have chemistry with Lena like I’ve been here since season one putas y'all be tryin to play y'all are the same ones who shipped Kara with cat grant and her sister before James cause they lacked chemistry. Stick to 😩licity and stop tryin to play up that fake woke bs.

Yeah, the “no chemistry” argument is BS for any couple honestly. Again, I totally get wanting more WLW representation but I will not stand for slandering black characters over it. Again, this is a problem across all fandoms and ships. POC, especially WOC and specifically black women get the short end of the stick in fandom from fans who don’t even realize how exclusionary and biased they are being.