#fuck dan humphrey

[penroseparticle]

Penrose Song of the Day, Day 31: One Week of Danger (Demo Version) by The Virgins

I think this song taught me to stop fiddling and hit publish, actually. Also, obligatory Fuck Dan Humphrey.

Seriously, give this version (Demo Version) a listen. Hear what they've got going for this. Then listen to the album release. Tell me which one you think is better.

I am sure Album release has its fans. But I am not one of them. I think the song is like. Worse? For the polish? There's an edge that is missing from the demo version.

The Album release is a little bit shrinkwrapped! Prepackaged. There's something that's been artificially added to the song. And I am a production dude. I like bells and whistles. I like embellishments. Hell, I even like covers and rereleases and remixes and mashups so it's not even that the first version of this song is the "best" version by default. And being tied to Gossip Girl in my head (It's used in the first season and on their first CD Compilation of tracks used) is actually kind of a negative given how much that show boils my blood these days.

But I absolutely adore this song, and the version that is the best in my mind is the Demo Version.

This song is kind of a simple concept: This guy blows. He sucks real bad. The original has a mocking, breathy falsetto placed against a slow, drawling low voice. It's got this guy talking trash and being like. I like fucking this girl but I don't like, want to be her boyfriend. All while he does the high pitched breathy voice mocking her because again: he sucks real bad. There's the whispering, there's the seduction. There's the back and forth of what they both want. It's great.

This song has more storyline in the demo than in the candy coated album release. Even the repeated "We love each other" said in the falsetto, distorting and getting semantically satiated, all while the guitar in the background gets a little more distortion and play on the simple strumming.

And the demo version is yes, low production. It's a simple drum line, some simple guitar, the only embellishment is the part I just mentioned. Even the guitar solo in the middle feels like I'm seeing this band at a dive bar with like 200 other people. It is NOT a skill song. It doesn't have to be. It's a shitty, mocking song sung by a manchild who doesn't want a relationship. AND IT'S THE BEST.

The instrumentation is simple, yeah. But it's dynamic. It gives this a slinky, shadows of the bar, sort of seductive but also kind of scummy vibe. It gives a good canvas for the picture The Virgins (lol. lmao even) are painting.

Meanwhile the album version has more defined lyrics. It's tighter. It's shorter, too, by 40 seconds. There's a little more dynamic to the song, there's a really aggressive drumbeat added to this song, and the guitar distortions during the chorus are now waaaaaaaaay back in the mix. The guitar solo is a little better, maybe. The charming bit of this song was minimized, and rather than having a repetitive chorus that got something from repeating- the loss of meaning and the distortion and the chance for the guiltar work to shine, we got the same two lines repeated over and over and they're an almost nothingburger of lyrics. "Give me just one week of danger at a time, loving isn't easy but it sure is fun". Bitch you don't love her! You're not loving! That's the whole point of the song!!!! WHO ARE YOU.

I don't get it. I think this version is more mass marketable, sure. But it is infinitely more generic. I feel like this took too many passes through production until it was sanded off at the edges. And the more I think about that, the sadder I get. Because this song was more interesting when it was allowed to be darker. More mocking. An asshole bragging about his "not girlfriend". The song had more room to set an ambience. I don't know. I just don't like the direction they took this song in and that feels disappointing.

Which kind of released me from the need to meticulously perfect something before I release it. I throw the pot and let it be finished even if it's not perfect. Because the last thing I want to do is take so many edits at something that it loses what was truly interesting about it in the first place.

And hey. If you prefer the album release. Just know that I don't think the album release is bad. I think there are things about it that it does well. It's just not my preference. It's not what I love. And I'd rather listen to what I love, actually.

And as for you? Well, you know the drill. You could be dead right now. Go listen to something you love.

XOXO Gossip Colton

[andthatscanon]

[attachmentbarbiee]

i know we talk a lot about how dan and blair could have gotten together in s2 since they had a lot of tension and i agree, BUT i think this goes for s3 as well. like imagine them at nyu becoming friends-friends with benefits-lovers. like she asked him out to a party and he said yes. do you guys see the vision or am i just insane

[mostofthingsmostofthetime]

Calling all Dair shippers!!!!!

I want to start reading fan fiction of them, but I have no idea where to begin.

My only requirements are that it's in English (why must you be the only language my stupid brain could leadn), is an AU and that (while I don't mind if he shows up) Chuck doesn't get any kind of a redemption arc like if he's in the story I want the narative to treat him like the villain he is (the same with Louie tbh but I'm guessing he dosn't get much focus).

I would also prefer it if it took place when they're adults (but I'm willing to give fics of them getting together sooner a try).

So, if you know of any fics that fit that description, please leave your recommendations in the comments.

[lossisyours]

JENNY HUMPHREY & ERIC VAN DER WOODSEN: first meeting

↳ GOSSIP GIRL 1.01 | “Pilot”

[mythoughtsxxblog]

Joe Goldberg or Dan Humphrey?

[nostalgicninjas]

serena comforting & protecting jenny in the pilot 🥺

[soldierandawar]

The only ship that I have ever vehemently hated is Dair. People think they’re soooo cute and healthy and love their “banter.” That man stalked her, isolated her, and used her pain against her. He didn’t respect her. She didn’t respect him. He’d always play second fiddle to Chuck and Dan only cared about proving that he belonged on the UES.

If people didn’t want him to end up with Serena why the hell would you want him with Blair??? Riddle me that!

[im-on-your-side-always]

i‘ve been really slow with watching gossip girl and started season 3 today. all I can say: what the hell?? dan and georgina?? just no.

[buffyspeak]

#go off king

[vanderwoodlings]

Humphrey siblings + Jagged Little Pill:

Dan + “Hand In My Pocket”

[id: several screenshots from “memoirs of an invisible dan” with lyrics over them. A red-lit Dylan Hunter laughing with “I’m sad but I’m laughing,” the dair interaction (“I’m brave”) that transitions into the Dylan/Claire kiss (“but I’m chicken shit”), and an exhausted-looking Dan with “I’m sick but I’m pretty, baby.”]

[andthatscanon]

DAIR TROPES: did they or didn't they?

[taus-inc]

i think in an ideal world, if dan humphrey wasn't a manipulative piece of shit who couldn't decide if he hated the people he was surrounded by or wanted to be him, he and blair would've been the otp. like he would bring her down a healthy bit and she would elevate him a healthy bit. they were good together until dan started humphreying. im pissed off bc i wanted to see blair win and dan would've been good for her especially if she hadn't lost her child or they had another tgt like come on !!

all blair needed was someone who would've brought out her best parts and nurtured her worst parts in a way that she would feel proud of herself no matter what she did. that person was blair herself lbr

[terrainofheartfelt]

i’m reading your lovely jenate fanfic rn and one of the details i’ve really been enjoying is the way you characterize the sibling relationship between jenny and dan! and it has me wondering, more generally, how do you picture dan and jenny’s relationship playing out as adults? we don’t really get to see jenny post going to london on the actual show, and i’m curious how things might have changed or evolved between them with them both being on more equal relational footing, so to speak. (i also think i remember you mentioning here that you yourself have siblings, so as an only child i can imagine you probably have a much more nuanced picture of this than i do lol)

ohhhh thank you so much!!! this is something that I actually explore in the next chapter (posting forthcoming), but I'll talk about it now just to get ahead of that lol

I am thinking, in show canon -- and in the canon i construct in this au in which the show ends after Despicable B ;) -- that Jenny sort of...gives herself a clean break from all things New York, including Dan. and Dan, with all his abandonment issues, takes that harder than she probably sees at the time, but completely removing herself is what she needs the most in that moment. and then, a couple years later, they gravitate closer, but virtually.

with their work being so time-consuming and not really on the typical layman's schedule (like, writer and fashion designer lol what free time) they don't really have time to full on talk on the phone or facetime, but they text regularly, often over an inside joke or a link or a meme they need the other to see (because their partner wouldn't find it as funny)

I think Jenny as a grown up would find it easier to talk to Dan first about things over their parents, and vice versa, because their is this sibling kind of thing were no other person quite understands you the same way, and has known you this long and loved you this long. but the love is different from the love you feel with your parents. i'm not sure if this is entirely accurate...but the love feels...more unconditional somehow, because a sibling has more choice in loving you, but less failures of doing so.

and yes! I do have an older brother, our age difference (3 years) is slightly larger than Dan & Jenny's, but my relationship and experience with him informs - consciously and unconsciously - a LOT of how I write Jenny & Dan. Disclaimer: our pasts are not nearly as traumatic as these fake people, and our parents are still together (over 30 years WOOT WOOT), so our life experiences don't exactly line up

but that being said, I look up to my brother so much. and I switched school mid highschool (like jenny but for less fraught reasons) so I went from being "Andrew's Little Sister" everywhere I went to being just Liz, just myself. and that's an adjustment, from always being the little sister to growing into your own person, and I wouldn't have gotten that opportunity without moving schools, and Jenny probably wouldn't have without moving to London.

and my brother and I have followed our own paths and live in different timezones (and regularly different countries, he splits his time between the US and Canada it's a whole thing), but I never don't feel like he isn't there for me. I know with him I always have a place to crash and someone to send me cute pet pictures when I'm sad and someone who is just as worried about my dad's health as I am (again, whole other thing, not gonna get into it bc privacy but yeah). and I am never entirely lonely as long as he is existing someplace in this world. shit I'm gettting emotional just talking about it but,

he's the guy that drove me to my piano lessons and teased me for my music taste and took me to my first punk show and said "that was so good!" after every performance even though he knows nothing about opera. and when I had a 3 month contract in florida and couldn't take my cat with me he fostered Steph and now Andrew is Steve's favorite person and when I was unemployed I crashed in his apt while he was organized for the 2020 Iowa caucus and he crashed on my couch to visit me after I got my job and moved and we smoke weed and recite monty python and joke and laugh together and I can be a version of myself with my big brother in a way that I can't be with anyone else.

so to bring it back to your meta question, lmao, I imagine and attempt to write Jenny's relationship with her big brother in the same way. it's never the same as when they lived in the same house, and that's hard. (because they stopped living in the same house when he was 18 and she 16 and you can never really go back to that), and they each have their own lives and careers and loves that keep them where they are, but they are still always just...their for each other. and, if given the choice, they are the first person to hear the other's good news.

[lossisyours]

The Humphreys in Gossip Girl — 1.01 | Pilot

[rigginsstreet]

The way Rufus Humphrey was the only bearable member of that family…