#dan humphrey fucking sucks

[taus-inc]

i think in an ideal world, if dan humphrey wasn't a manipulative piece of shit who couldn't decide if he hated the people he was surrounded by or wanted to be them, he and blair would've been the otp. like he would bring her down a healthy bit and she would elevate him a healthy bit. they were good together until dan started humphreying. im pissed off bc i wanted to see blair win and dan would've been good for her especially if she hadn't lost her child or they had another tgt like come on !!

all blair needed was someone who would've brought out her best parts and nurtured her worst parts in a way that she would feel proud of herself no matter what she did. that person was blair herself lbr

[penroseparticle]

Penrose Song of the Day, Day 31: One Week of Danger (Demo Version) by The Virgins

I think this song taught me to stop fiddling and hit publish, actually. Also, obligatory Fuck Dan Humphrey.

Seriously, give this version (Demo Version) a listen. Hear what they've got going for this. Then listen to the album release. Tell me which one you think is better.

I am sure Album release has its fans. But I am not one of them. I think the song is like. Worse? For the polish? There's an edge that is missing from the demo version.

The Album release is a little bit shrinkwrapped! Prepackaged. There's something that's been artificially added to the song. And I am a production dude. I like bells and whistles. I like embellishments. Hell, I even like covers and rereleases and remixes and mashups so it's not even that the first version of this song is the "best" version by default. And being tied to Gossip Girl in my head (It's used in the first season and on their first CD Compilation of tracks used) is actually kind of a negative given how much that show boils my blood these days.

But I absolutely adore this song, and the version that is the best in my mind is the Demo Version.

This song is kind of a simple concept: This guy blows. He sucks real bad. The original has a mocking, breathy falsetto placed against a slow, drawling low voice. It's got this guy talking trash and being like. I like fucking this girl but I don't like, want to be her boyfriend. All while he does the high pitched breathy voice mocking her because again: he sucks real bad. There's the whispering, there's the seduction. There's the back and forth of what they both want. It's great.

This song has more storyline in the demo than in the candy coated album release. Even the repeated "We love each other" said in the falsetto, distorting and getting semantically satiated, all while the guitar in the background gets a little more distortion and play on the simple strumming.

And the demo version is yes, low production. It's a simple drum line, some simple guitar, the only embellishment is the part I just mentioned. Even the guitar solo in the middle feels like I'm seeing this band at a dive bar with like 200 other people. It is NOT a skill song. It doesn't have to be. It's a shitty, mocking song sung by a manchild who doesn't want a relationship. AND IT'S THE BEST.

The instrumentation is simple, yeah. But it's dynamic. It gives this a slinky, shadows of the bar, sort of seductive but also kind of scummy vibe. It gives a good canvas for the picture The Virgins (lol. lmao even) are painting.

Meanwhile the album version has more defined lyrics. It's tighter. It's shorter, too, by 40 seconds. There's a little more dynamic to the song, there's a really aggressive drumbeat added to this song, and the guitar distortions during the chorus are now waaaaaaaaay back in the mix. The guitar solo is a little better, maybe. The charming bit of this song was minimized, and rather than having a repetitive chorus that got something from repeating- the loss of meaning and the distortion and the chance for the guiltar work to shine, we got the same two lines repeated over and over and they're an almost nothingburger of lyrics. "Give me just one week of danger at a time, loving isn't easy but it sure is fun". Bitch you don't love her! You're not loving! That's the whole point of the song!!!! WHO ARE YOU.

I don't get it. I think this version is more mass marketable, sure. But it is infinitely more generic. I feel like this took too many passes through production until it was sanded off at the edges. And the more I think about that, the sadder I get. Because this song was more interesting when it was allowed to be darker. More mocking. An asshole bragging about his "not girlfriend". The song had more room to set an ambience. I don't know. I just don't like the direction they took this song in and that feels disappointing.

Which kind of released me from the need to meticulously perfect something before I release it. I throw the pot and let it be finished even if it's not perfect. Because the last thing I want to do is take so many edits at something that it loses what was truly interesting about it in the first place.

And hey. If you prefer the album release. Just know that I don't think the album release is bad. I think there are things about it that it does well. It's just not my preference. It's not what I love. And I'd rather listen to what I love, actually.

And as for you? Well, you know the drill. You could be dead right now. Go listen to something you love.

XOXO Gossip Colton

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

it's no secret that the writers neglected some relationships in favor of other (*cough* chair *cough*)

what relationships do you wish had been featured more throughout the show? are there aspects of any relationships (like how Blair's treatment of Jenny effects her relationship with Dan) you wish had been explored more? ((I'm talking both romantic and platonic))

oh this is such a fun question!! i wanted to really sit and get to it, hence the long wait time (sorry!) so here we go!

relationships i wanted more of:

first, and this is a popular opinion, i think blair and serena should've been the focus of the show, instead of blair and chuck. a dynamic that was strongly platonic, but with blurred boundaries and romantic implications like the books, where romance is neither confirmed nor denied but all the subtext is there - i think that would've given the show actual backbone. blairena for the win!!

something i have said a lot on my blog is that the danessa friend breakup SUCKED. it was really shitty (and racist!) that dan can forgive his white friends ANYTHING (serena did that whole revenge porn thing - which i think is really ooc but that's another conversation - and dan marries her) but vanessa is unforgiveable for... what exactly? stealing his story and publishing it without his permission? dude, she did that to you before in 1x11 (?? i think it was 1x11) and you were DELIGHTED that your story was being published. you can't blame her so harshly if you never set that boundary. anyway dan and vanessa should've had a blair and serena kind of friendship (& the first two seasons really implied that that WAS how their friendship was) where there's a certain coming back to each other no matter what, even if it's unhealthy.

i've said this before on my blog, too, but i wanted more sibling stuff!! serena&eric and dan&jenny were like. my favourite things about the early seasons. their dynamics were so real and it was so nice; it brought out a different side to the characters that was really refreshing and interesting to see. dan & serena were both so protective of jenny & eric respectively, in a way that they weren't with anybody else, and jenny & eric had a really candid and honest kind of relationship with their elder sibs, which they didn't have with their parents, and it was just. it gave the show so much more HEART, ok.

i also really wanted more platonic jenny and nate! my 2 favourite jenny and nate moments are that bit in seventeen candles (when will it stop? / it'll stop when you stop it - or whatever it is that quote is, cant remember it verbatim right now) and also that moment in.. the empire strikes jack, i think it is? where nate's comforting jenny and she's like 'what's wrong with me' and he just. looks at her with quiet disbelief before he says, firmly, 'nothing is wrong with you'..... nate & jenny had that thing i love about dan & serena, where they could have REAL conversations with each other, and be fully honest AND vulnerable with each other. and while there was a lot about their dynamic that was canonically not the healthiest, i felt like. they both had a really special type of platonic intimacy? and i really liked that. i wanted to see more of that.

i would've liked to see more nate & chuck, but minus the glorifying chuck. as the show goes on, it's like there's two nates, the nate who actually cares about people and respects women and you can trust, and the nate who shares whiskey with chuck and looks the other way when chuck is being abusive, even if it's with blair. this is a bad writing choice, obviously. i would've liked to see nate grapple with being chuck's friend, and realise that he CANNOT possibly support chuck and still be a good person. though of course that is too much to expect from this garbage show.

nate, blair and serena as a trio!!! i wanted more platonic scenes like that thanksgiving flashback from s1. in the books, they were childhood friends, but in a very 'their childhoods were totally intertwined' and the show scrapped that, which i think is rlly sad. there was something so special about nate, serena and blair knowing each other in a way nobody else does, because they've seen each other grow up, and their childhoods are SO merged, and they are just. so close. that would've been SO good.

and well. platonic nate and blair specifically! they've dated for so long, they obviously know a LOT about each other. i think it would be cool if there was more of like. nate knowing things about blair that nobody else does, and blair knowing things about nate that nobody else does.

aspects of relationships to be explored more...... hmmm

the nate & chuck thing is there. i mean. how can nate be besties with jenny AND with chuck. HOW. for a long period of time he canonically is. but that doesn't seem right.

idk if this goes here but i wish that things like the catherine stuff and the rachel stuff and the ben stuff had been handled with appropriate gravity, and we'd actually seen what it meant for those characters, instead of it just being there for the ~scandal~ and then tossed aside.

something i remember from seventeen candles as well is jenny talking about how it's uncomfortable being at home because of her parents. so that follows that nate knows something nobody else really does - which is that the humphreys have a complicated home background as well. like their lives are not perfect. i think it would've been neat if that came up more, in say, nate's friendship with dan. like him just being like "i know your mom leaving was hard on you" and dan being like "what the fuck who told you that????" and nate being like oh shit because he didn't think before he said it and this is dan not jenny

i think it's really interesting how much dan and vanessa don't feel at ease with their own parents, but feel at ease with the other's parents. like the way vanessa is around rufus - weird accidental romantic undertones aside, she actually likes his company and appreciates his advice, and her relationship with her mom...... is not like that. but the way dan tries to fix vanessa and gabriella's relationship........... it's obvious that he's closer to vanessa's mother than he is to his own mother. i think there was potential for some really interesting stuff there.

oh ive said this before, too, but. we didn't get ruby abrams!!! :(

i also think tv!dan should've gotten a boyfriend. i mean. book dan did. but i think now im getting distracted

there's probably more, but this is all i have for now!

oh. i wish we'd had more carter, and specifically, more carter x serena. those two were so absolutely and wholly on the same wavelength.... carter>>> dan OR nate as serena's bf in my humble opinion.

[gossipgirls]

what are your most unpopular gossip girl opinions (if you have any)

ohhhh god okay. i’ve voiced most of these already but having them all bundled up in one post feels like holding up a big “COME DRAG ME” sign. but here we go.

serena is a good character. a lot of people who hate her just either don’t get her or don’t care to try (which is fine haha but don’t go around saying she’s just a shit character then).

serena was never a worse friend to blair than blair was to her. they balanced each other out. 

dan was the only appropriate choice for the identity of gossip girl and i’m not all that bothered by the inconsistencies/plot holes (i.e. “but he was surprised when he saw that one blast!”) - this is definitely because i am an infp and i barely care about details as long as the big picture makes sense to me lmao. eric wasn’t a relevant enough character for it to matter, dorota would’ve been funny but would have made absolutely no contribution to the show’s messaging and would have been way too campy of an ending, georgina was too obvious, nate would have been ooc (particularly since, god love him, he’s just not smart enough to pull it off honestly).

on that same note, derena’s endgame was not ooc for either of them. she definitely deserved way way way better and it’s not my desired ending for her, but it was the most logical way to end the show considering its messaging.

dan and blair were good in s4. i enjoyed them as friends with some unexplored romantic tension and dan having a small crush. it suited them well, and it should have stayed that way for the rest of the series (and would have stayed that way if she hadn’t been depressed and lonely in s5, but that’s not an unpopular opinion lol). but i’ve never been opposed to their s4 kiss or the s4 connection in general.

the majority of the most difficult parts of the show to watch are blairena’s fights. i know a lot of people think of chair as the driving force of the show and like... i love chair and the show was always way more interesting to me when they were together, but i think it’s kind of undeniable that the show just genuinely didn’t work as well when blairena were on the outs after s1. thus, THEY were the central and most important relationship of the show, not anybody else.

jenny and vanessa aren’t that bad. i actually like jenny at several moments, while i just think vanessa is hated way more than she deserves. she was annoying, i guess, but never a truly bad person.

i love ivy. 🤷‍♀️

while i ship serenate above any other serena or nate ship, i often think a van der baizen endgame would have made serena happier than a serenate endgame and would have been truest to the wishes she had expressed since season 1.

beatrice grimaldi is kind of an underrated char, probably because she wasn’t in many eps and because she was working against blair. she was awful but, like, deliciously so.

as a feminist and a fan of serena, i want serena to have a career and succeed and be stable and happy. but her career-based plots were dreadfully boring (so were most characters’ though).

i never minded eva/cheva lmfao. they lasted for like 4 episodes so i don’t care enough to either ship them or hate them, like how anybody even has a strong opinion on them is beyond me. like it just happened so fast that idk why they’re either passionately hated as if they were meant to be a serious ship, or shipped as if they were anything but a symptom of chuck’s escapism.

dan/georgina > every single other dan ship

tripp sucked but the entire s3 tripp plot was honestly absolutely STELLAR.

this is probably just unpopular because nobody but me is thinking about it, but i would have liked for alison humphrey to stay in nyc and be a recurring character (not in every ep like rufus, but just every now and then like harold or cyrus).

juliet could have been a really fucking cool character and i loved her at first sight in 4x01 before i saw the end of the episode. she was snarky and funny and challenged nate in a way that gave him some more depth for a minute. the whole ben plot ruined her, obviously, but she was kinda exactly the kind of woman i’d want nate to be with if not serena...?

i didn’t mind louis at all until he started scheming with chuck’s therapist and then obviously his behaviour at the wedding reception. i didn’t love him and didn’t find blair/louis shippable, but like... they weren’t bad... i’ve never minded watching them together...

i, uh... i didn’t mind sage spence either... she did the same sorts of things that blair and serena did at her age.

the pact with god plot was totally one of the worst blair plots but honestly... not as unrealistic as everyone says and not as out of character as everyone says.

i’m sure this is actually popular, but it just needs to be said: raina should’ve stayed on the show after s4. 

jack bass was neither funny nor interesting.

[guinthegeek]

Wow I saw a Chair ship video recommendation on my YouTube and I was happy until I saw saw Dan. Ya’ll I forgot how much I fucking hated Dan Humphrey. Serena and Nate should have been endgame and IM NOT OVER IT. Dan was a fucking stalker, like yeah elitism sucks and his feelings of rejection were valid UNTIL HE MADE A BLOG TO STALK AND BULLY A GIRL WITH ADDICTION AND MENTAL ILLNESS. Was she a rich snob and major bitch sometimes? Yes. But she had issues, and he played those issues to get what he wanted so literally he is no better than the people who rejected him in the first place. Oh my god.

[ofwrxth]

“I can see raspberry more than blueberry,” Marcella counters before frowning. “I’m a strawberry, everyone’s favorite berry. You can be like an orange. Or one of those little ones they give kids.” She snickers, already picking the answer for Ines before she can even confirm whether it's true or not. “Too late, you’re a clementine. Which means your character is…oooh.” she makes a face, giving her sister an apologetic look, “Dan Humphrey. Sucks to suck. I got Blair. Obviously.” Marcie grins widely and checks the time. “How much you wanna bet Xav will tell us to fuck off if we ask what he's doing? ” Or he just won’t respond. “Maybe he needs extra shifts to pay for the kitchen windows,” she snickers, not entirely kind as she recalls the way her dad's house was victim to Andy Cross's experiments.  

"Umm...raspberry?" Ines shrugged, taking up the couch for herself and turning her head to peer at her sister. "No wait. They can be kinda...sharp. And blueberries can be sour." she gave it a long thought, rubbing her temple like life or death. "Is there another fruit?" she looked to the ceiling then, tapping her foot. "I feel more like a mango. You'd be a blueberry, not me." she talked straight ahead, only flopping her head again once she was done. She raised her brows as if awaiting a conclusion she didn't even help to arrive. "Yeah, I'm definitely mango."

[teemuses]

gossip girl

LEAVE A TV SHOW OR MOVIE IN MY ASK BOX AND I’LL TELL YOU…

favorite male character:

chuck bass. i don’t even have to explain myself ‘cause he’s seriously the BOSS, and the one with the most development in the show. if you know me, i love a complex character and he is, by far, the most complex on the show because he puts on a facade and ain’t easy to work out. there’s vulnerability beneath the bad boy facade. but let me just tell you. he’s hot. as fuh. 

favorite female character:

blair waldorf. i love everything she’s ever done except fall for dan humphrey. now that was the most pointless, thoughtless, stupidest storyline of the entire show. FITE ME ON THIS. I DARE YOU. blair has the biggest heart whilst simultaneously being known as a total bitch, scheming, and hella mean. she also sees a lot of development in the show and THIS RUINS ME. dorota gets an honourable mention, and so does serena when she’s not annoying the hell out of me. and georgina sparks, for being the craziest, most manipulative bitch on the show

least favorite character:

ok, dan humphrey. i’m sorry but he went from mildly likeable to absolutely loathe-worthy. not only was his mop of a hair total trash, but his whole character was just.. ew. all he did was fucking whine, trying to expose the upper east siders for the things they did and yet, he did WORSE! he’s a hypocrite af. honourable mention goes out to jenny humphrey for being annoying as hell, and vanessa abrams. couldn’t stand them either. 

prettiest character:

serena and all her outfits ok. bye. 

funniest character:

i don’t know.. blair or chuck, when they wanna be. 

favorite season:

the latter seasons for sure. everything from season ¾ onwards. 

favorite episode:

the one with the blair and chuck balcony scene. ICONIC. BEAUTIFUL. AMAZING. 

favorite romantic ship:

chair. need i say more? honourable mention to serenate, who was TOTALLY SCREWED OVER BY A DAN HUMPHREY. 

favorite family ship:

ok but i really loved chuck and lily so much????? it’s a shame i loved rufus, considering his kids suck. 

favorite friend ship:

serena and blair, despite everything. and dorota x blair. 

worst ship:

anyone with dan humphrey, goodnight.

[chwrpg]

The Clash? Uh…no. It’s a British punk band, circa 1977 to 1983-ish — original lineup, anyway. – Cliff Saito

A NOTE FROM ADMIN B: It always brings me great pleasure to see an app for a character we've rarely seen on the dash. Even more so when it's an app from you, Paige!! Now... if only the rest of the Bring It On cast were to mysteriously appear..... 👀

OOC NAME/ALIAS, PREFERRED PRONOUNS, AGE & TIMEZONE:

hey god me again 

DESIRED CHARACTER:

Cliff Saito

HOW ACTIVE WILL YOU BE?

7-8/10

SECONDARY CHOICE:

N/A

DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER:

Quirky wasn’t quite the right word to describe Cliff but rather... off-beat. Sarcastic, snarky, occasionally a bit of a know it all. While he claimed he didn’t think he was better than anyone else, the sentiment usually fell of his tongue in a way that felt less than genuine. And besides he didn’t really have a superiority complex, or at least, not over anything or anyone that wasn’t completely warranted. Think Dan Humphrey (season one at least, we all know GG went downhill after that), secret social media presence and all -- although his meme account is far from a gossip blog, even if his one Toros tweet may have it seem that way. 

Under his cool, snarky, guitar playing exterior though, there’s a kind human being, one that would rather live in midwestern suburbia than see his sister suffer. Besides he kind of liked feeling out of place -- it fueled the complex that again, he didn’t have. 

SAMPLE WRITING:

Reason #763 San Francisco ruled way harder than three quarters gentrified, suburban wasteland, middle of nowhere Illinois: people in Rosewood didn’t just care if you made too much noise, they had whole committees dedicated to stopping it, and thus to squandering Cliff’s creative freedom. He’d gotten home that day to an official looking notice on his door, something he thought might actually matter, like an eviction notice or maybe news about an upcoming election, until he saw the words noise complaint. Then he tossed it the moment he got inside. 

As much as he wanted to turn his speakers up as loud as they could go, he didn’t want to risk his dads getting into actual trouble, and so, as anti rock and roll as it was, he’d found himself in their garage as usual, headphones hooked up to his guitar. Fucking hell. No wonder he couldn’t find anybody for this band if this is what he came for-- he felt like a poser, or even worse, a sell out. Although to ‘sell out’ he’d probably have needed to sell something in the first place but nevertheless, his point still stood: this sucked, as much as Rosewood sucked up anything remotely cool or interesting. 

His fingers idly strummed until he found himself half playing a Fugazi song, half just fucking around, his mind elsewhere. Fugazi-- he hadn’t put them on any of Tori’s mixes, the ones he’d been making just to make at this point. Even if she didn’t know it’d been him that practically ruined her cheering career, the guilt of it weighed on him far too much to even be associated with her, and if she knew, there was no way in hell she’d want anything from him anyway, especially not a couple of CDs. Tori probably wouldn’t like Fugazi anyway, and he didn’t mean that in a cheerleaders can’t listen to 80s art punk way, but it just didn’t seem like her. 

He made a seamless transition into No Doubt’s Spiderwebs; now that was more like Tori. “Fuck this,” he mumbled as his headphone cord kept getting in his way, and he switched it out for his amp, cranked all the way up. If the neighbors wanted to complain he’d take it to the city, argue that the current state of the art community had left him deprived, turn it into a public outcry for increased funding of the arts at Ravenwood. And if he took to Twitter, something that’d gotten him in enough trouble as it was, he’d be impossible to ignore, until Rosewood would have to step in, if only to save face. Yeah. That could work. 

Oblivious to just how louder he’d gotten, Cliff hadn’t heard his dad banging on the door to the garage until he’d finished the song, sliding onto his knees in a way so tacky and cliche it made it cool. And as he shouted an apology at his dad, he realized just how desperately he needed to find some new bandmates. 

ANYTHING ELSE?

1985

[girl-q]

The Originals Season 5 Episode 12: Kick me in the face with that Klaroline

Yeet. The last episode is coming out tomorrow and I feel like a fucking butt cheek on a stick.

It´s me your friendly neighbourhood theorist with all the opinions and all the wrong theories.

Summary

Hope is dying of Hollowness and so the fam hops in a car? They said it took like 10 hours to Mystic from Nola so that carries must have been amazing. They drive to the Salvatore school, where Klaus wants to use the chambers in the attic, that never held any fucking body in Tvd to lock Hope up for her wolf transformation, but surprise Klaus is a liar and actually wants Caroline’s twins to siphon the magic out of Hope into him and then sink himself onto the bottom of the ocean. Caroline protests for like two seconds and then is fine. Her kids are being brats and hoes we´ve seen them in Legacy and one is going to be all fun and slutty and the other one shy and stuff. They eventually agree, but then Alaric has to bust in and shoot Klaus. Man Alaric? Really? Can´t we go on episode with that boring ass slug ruining everything? Klaus is restrained for another two seconds and Alaric goes all judgy on Caroline basically implying that she has too many feelings for him and therefore putting their daughters at risk. He says the ocean can´t hold Klaus and a hoe is right, because surprise Klaus lied again and actually wants to kill himself after the Hollow is in him. Conveniently he still kept a white oak stick around, because convenience of the plot. Why though? If all it takes to shut down the Hollow is killing someone while it´s inside someone, why don´t they use a drunken, and homeless child molester? Why does it have to be Klaus? It´s not like he has too many morals to kill someone else.

Anyway Caroline gets pissed for another cute two seconds and then agrees to still help Klaus, because what he is doing after all is to protect his kid and being a good person/ dad. Hoes he became what she always wanted for him. Oh my gawd FEELINGS!

In a different plot Elijah and Hope are out about in my favourite small town infested with supernatural kids and curses. Let’s be honest kids. That line with the Bentley was fucking bomb. They go to get food, where we meet Landon. Hopes love interest of the moment. He looks like a total six and a half with eyes that look like he either never sleeps or tries to be emos next big thing. I give him a 9/10 on Q´s list of characters that are basically Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl. He loses one point because of the weird hair. Dan’s locks were luscious and his just look like a sad sad poodle. Yeah listen people from Legacy lets not do THAT(Landon) and instead bring back someone that is growing on me just for the reason that he is hotter and seems a little less whiny then Landon, let’s do Roman. He is annoying too, but he is hotter and probably cooler than that dude.

So Landon gets bullied by High School jocks, surprise, and then gets 300 dollars from Elijah. It´s insinuated that Hope likes this boy and he does too and he invites her too something musically in the park, because that´s what the kids of today do. But no I´m sure he has like an old soul or whatever we say about kids, who have no friends and sit around thinking about the Beatles. (I love being an ignorant queen)

Elijah and Hope go to the jocks and it seemed as if Hope was going to do something amazingly, batshit crazy, but then she just blasted the mean dude’s car windows. Hope and Elijah do talking and bonding until the evening comes and of course she goes to meet poodle at the music thing. They dance, because it´s cute and stuff, but the MAIN thing here is the BEST, ULTIMATE conversation between my babies were Klaroline was proven again to still be a romantic thing and that now they are more compatible than ever. Suck it haters. They talk about Klaus as a dad. Then she tells him about the time she drove with the twins to Nola, when she was in trouble in the seventh season of Tvd, but he was trapped in the wall. He looked shocked. Maybe because she trusted him like that. Then she tells him he was never the evil in her life and then the THING happens. They almost kiss, but the clock strikes and she pulls away. She walks away and throws one last longing look at the man she loved.

After that Hope´s transformation is coming up, but Elijah gets wind of Klaus’s true intentions and tries to stop him or take his place. He locks Elijah into a chamber in the basement, which never holds anybody and tells his daughter to transform outside. They talk endlessly about how it´s going to take hours, but the transformation is like a minute long. I feel attacked by that. Julie explain yourself. During the transformation the twins suck the hollow out of Hope and put it into Klaus. Caroline isn´t there and Klaus asks why, but Alaric says Caroline couldn´t watch another man she loves die. Now he didn´t exactly say that, but I imagine it.

Klaus is about to plunge that stick into his chest, when Elijah appears. NO Klaus. The end

Theories and Thoughts

It´s fucking bullshit if Klaus really dies. It is fucking bullshit to not see his daughter growing up. The guilt she must have. She would be kinda responsible for both her parents’ death.

Yeah nobody can deny now that Klaroline is a romantic thing. This episode did it all. They showed that he became the man she always wanted him to be, which is caring and loving. He got saved like she said he was capable off. She trusts him, protects him, helps him, can´t loose him and cares for him. She loves him. Maybe more honestly and openly than she ever did before. She is grown now and he is too and we all know Klaus Mikaelson never lost feelings for that girl. He may have “loved” Cami, but no one can deny that he ever forget his feelings for Caroline. They almost freaking kissed. They are still on and why the heck would the writers put them on the table so hard again, when he is dying so close?

The LAST Episode

It´s go time. Klaus just tried to kill himself but in the trailer we see that he passes out before that or some witch took him out. In my best educated guess they´ll ship him back to Nola were every fucking body is going to go all teary eyed. They´re going to have one last dinner and a “funeral”. It could be just killing himself with his fam around, but also they could do like a TFIOS thing where each characters says something nice about Klaus.

The trailer is quite sad. It shows a lot of family and a scene of him with Hope putting their heads to each other. I have to say I have a little doubt about the Elijah theory, because they did the same thing in the last episode of The Vampire Diaries. Stefan sacrificed himself to save his brother and then in the afterlife reunited with someone that was really special to him. I doubt it a little. There is also a scene where the siblings burn paper without Nick.

It will definitely be quite emotional. I sincerely hope he makes it out alive. What is so true though is that someone really important is going to die. This is also supported by the title “When the saints go marching in” is a song very popular with something called the “Jazz Funeral”. It´s a song first and foremost associated with the city of New Orleans.

Remember the photos from Candice and Joseph in New Orleans? Yeah they still will need to come into play and given that it´s very bright outside when that happens that could be a scene from after Klaus is saved.

Here is the last thing I will say before the finale. This show is about more than three people. It was about a whole family, so what is going to happen to the rest? Keelin and Freya could live a normal married life with children and it would be fine. They´ll die. But then there is Rebekah, who wants to be human so much. Will she just be miserable for the rest of eternity now? Pining for what she can´t have? Maybe eventually deciding it´s too much and do something fatal? Rebekah wasn´t much in this season but her story needs to be tied up. I changed my mind and I don´t think she can just go back to Marcel. It would lead to nothing again and break ups again, because what is hurting Marbekah most is something neither of them can change. Rebekah needs some justice. Then there is also my daisy Davina. She is mortal and with Kol, and eventually she will die and leave Kol behind. The sibling’s weren´t a focus much on this season, but what about them? What about Vincent? I know I trash him a lot, but he just lost another love. Is he going to find peace?

In this way this final needs to be a close copy to the TVD finale. I overall liked the ending for each character. It was truly about peace and closure. This finale need to be about that too. Elijah will find peace in death, because he will find Hayley again. Klaus won´t get any peace from death. Everything he holds close to his heart is alive. Some kids will argue that he´ll reunite with Cami and that will give him peace, but Camille has been almost irrelevant in this season and those are just facts.

Here is what I want if I could have everything I want: Freelin is shown in the future with children, Vincent finds happiness not in love, but in a task, Rebekah is human and married with kids, because Rebekah deserves better or at least she is seen raising something like a child. Marcel is right there with her. Elijah is dead and reunited in heaven with Hayley. Hope goes to school and learns to be better than her family and lastly Nicklaus Mikaelson will survive and love his daughter and to excuse him and Caroline for not being in Legacy they will charter a plane together and visit some places. Paris, Rome or even Tokyo. He can do that now, because his daughter is safe and loved and he learned that she is a strong capable girl that can deal with the world on her own. Caroline also realizes that her daughters are with their father in good hands at the school and finally she can go and see some places.

That is my happily ever after for the Originals, which I would love and welcome dearly.

Before I finish this chapter let’s talk about some dead people. Mikael and Camille are listed as guest stars. This seemingly supports Klaus´s death, but I don´t think so. They could appear in a ghost form like Vicky and Tyler for Matt in the Tvd finale or Klaus temporarily dies and sees them ,but if that happens hoe that make him human that would ruin everything. Side note I once saw a pic of a blonde kissing a bearded man in a wedding dress and it was said it was about TO. I was so confused and the girlies shortly thought it was Klaroline, but I don´t think so. It just came to my mind btw where we could see Camille again. In the pictures from Nola with Candice and Joseph they stood in front of a panting much like he did with Camille in the first episode. Maybe they are talking about his life and will insert Camis ghost for a few seconds looking upon them.

I´m finishing this chapter now. It was a hot mess and unstructured, but I´m too lazy to restructure it. The finale will be there tonight. The last chapter of this out tomorrow.

Good final day girlies

I´m out

XOXO

Q

[stenka-razin]

I have two headcanons of Dan Humphrey. In version one he’s the psychotic sociopathic puppet master, personally arranging every event on the show to build to his union with Serena. He’s a cold and calculating chessmaster who ought to be played by a young Kevin Spacey-type.

In version two, he’s the psychotic sociopathic puppet master, but he sucks so bad at it. His schemes backfire constantly, he has no clear plan or even goal half the time, and the only reason he’s never caught is because everyone in his life is so self absorbed that they never notice. Hence why it takes six years for him to pull this shit off and he fucks himself over repeatedly.

[flordeloona]

list of my non-endgame otps:

1.- Steven Hyde and Jackie Burkhart.

No other couple that wasn't endgame had left like this (maybe dair) but gosssh, these two, THESE TWO, they started off as one of my favorite couple tropes: enemies to friends to lovers, and it was done perfectly, every part of it, Hyde went from not even wanting her to be in the basement to let her sleep in his small space in the latter because she had no other place to go, Jackie said she liked Hyde for the way he made her see things, and if y'all know this girl you know that's the most precious thing ever. Long story short, they are endgame in every other universe but this, sadly.

2.- Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf.

*sighs* these two... if you hear closely you can literally hear me crying. Let me say it: SOULMATES, THE EPITOME OF SOULMATES, Dan and Blair are the most fitted couple to ever grace the TV, and the best part is how dysfunctional they seemed to be, but once they got together... man... the connection was out this planet, BLAIR SAID IT HERSELF, "Dan and I have a real connection" excuse me but yours could never, Dan and Blair enjoyed the same music, both cinephiles, art loves, literally the most adorable assholes of the whole show, they were each other safe place and ruined my whole life, bye.

4.- Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper.

MY WHOLE ASS BABIES😩😩😩 OKAY BUT LISTEN,,,,, STAR-CROSSED LOVERS, FROM DAY ONE, RYAN COULDN'T BELIEVE HIS EYES WHEN HE MET MARISSA, MARISSA EVEN MADE HIM A MIXTAPE BECAUSE HE NEVER LISTENED TO MUSIC PROPERLY, MY HEART ACHES, they are my entire world and my 1st otp ever, i would love them forever.

5.- Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky.

THESE TWO LITERALLY GOT MARRIED AND TALKED ABOUT HOW THEY WERE SOULMATES IN THE DAMN FUCKING SHOW, BARNEY ABANDONED HIS WHOLE PAST FOR ROBIN AND ROBIN FOUND A MAN SHE REALLY WANTED TO GET MARRIED TO, LIKE, NAME A MORE ICONIC DUO I'LL FUCKING WAIT FOREVER. I can't stand thinking about that finale without wanting to break everything, Barney did such amazing things for Robin, they healed each other and worked they way to the altar together and... they made it... they proved they were each other half, and... Like that they were ripped off our hands, leave me alone.

6.- Brooke Davis and Peyton Sawyer.

They were in love... Perfect for the childhood friends to lovers trope😭 they were each other best relationship and loved each other more than anything, my heart aches. Let's not talk about the queerbait because i might get angry... But yeah, Peyton even told Brooke she was in love with her in this same scene *sighs* deserved a life together.

7.- Rich Hardbeck and Grace Blood.

Could write an easy on why they are the best couple on skins and why they deserved so much better. OPPOSITES ATTRACK PEOPLE, and these two proved that to the maximum limit, ballet and metal music never looked so good together. Rich grieving over Grace is the saddest thing I've ever seen, and I wish they had gotten their well deserved endgame.

8.- Sheldon and Penny Cooper.

Ahhh yes, remember when Sheldon proposed to Penny in a argument about climate change? And then they got married at the comicbook store because none of them could affort a proper wedding but they couldn't wait to get married? And Penny decided to go as "Penny Cooper" and Sheldon felt so happy he just hugged her an hour straight? *the biggest sigh ever* We. Could. Have. Had. It. ALL, EVERYTHING, THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THESE TWO SLAPS ME IN THE FACE EVERYTIME THEY INTERACT, i waited for their canon and endgame for FIVE YEARS, and now i won't get either... Life sucks guys, and so do the tbbt writers.

9.- Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez.

These girlfriends😭 okay so I prefer Finchel over them, but, it was impossible to have their endgame at all... So, I'd have to go with my two babies whom recently been owning my ass so much. Rachel and Santana are THE power duo, badass actitude, talented af, want it all, but always feel alone, just imagine how amazing their relationship would have been, i'm so sad, Santana loved her so much....

10.- Scott McCall and Isaac Lahey.

WASTED POTENTIAL OH MY GOD, CAN'T BELIEVE A GAY MAN QUEEBAITED THE SHIT OF ME THIS UGLY, LIKE, TRY TO WATCH THEIR SCENES AND TELL ME THEY WEREN'T IN LOVE, YOU LITERALLY CAN'T, if it wasn't for them Scira would have made the top 10/10 but... I'm a slut for non-canon queerbait :) Scott was Isaac's anchor): and Scott loved him so much it hurts me too see it. They should get married and move to Paris together bye.

Especial mentions:

Noora Sætre and Eva Mohn.

Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson.

Naomi Campbell and Emily Fitch.

Michael Kelso and Brooke Rockwell.

Jal Fazer and Chris Miles.

Riley Matthews and Maya Hart.

Scott McCall and Kira Yukimura.

Peyton Sawyer and Jake Jagielski.

Rachel Green and Joey Tribbiani.

Ted and Tracy Mosby.

[none of the gifs are mine, credits to the owners].

[sammysreelreviews]

My Top 10 Gossip Girl Moments

So today is a very monumental day in my life. GOSSIP GIRL TURNS TEN! I know I sound dramatic but Gossip Girl was the first show about teens in high school I watched while I was actually in high school. I may be old but I was still in middle school when The O.C. was out! This show honestly helped me become the person I am now and is the reason I won the Best Dressed on a Dressed Down Day senior superlative (LMAO). I went to a school with uniforms btw. From the lavish parties to the hottest spots in NYC Gossip Girl will always be an iconic show. So, I compiled a list of my favorite moments, I know you’ll love them. ***SPOILERS*** for all you uncultured swine. 

10. The Series Finale (Season 6, Episode 10, New York, I Love You XOXO)

Although everyone was team Chuck and Blair, Dan and Serena had their fairy tale moment in the series finale and it makes me cry every damn time. This episode had a lot going on including TWO weddings that both were beautiful. I don’t know if it’s cause everyone is happy or that it’s always a sign that my teen years ended but either way it was one of the best endings to my favorite show. Seeing as it was the last thing that happened I thought it would be nice right at number 10.

9. The Return of Bart Bass (Season 5, Episode 22, Raiders of the Lost Art) 

I’d be lying if I said Gossip Girl didn’t hit a rough patch towards the end but in this episode they brought back that wow factor with bringing back Bart from the dead. I remember sitting there with my jaw dropped and at the time they really didn’t do that on TV then. Bringing back Bart was smart but damn, poor Chuck.

8. Little J’s Cotillion (Season 3, Episode 9, They Shoot Humphreys, Don’t They?)

Jenny Humphrey went from Brooklyn’s girl next door to absolute bad ass. She defied her dad, talked back to her brother and even put on a guerilla fashion show. Little J was in some hot water at her own cotillion when her date bailed on her but like a true Queen B she rose above it. Gossip Girl herself has the best line in this episode. She says, “nobody puts Jenny in the corner and now she’s having the time of her life .” Wearing a black dress like that to your cotillion, daring. Having college student Nate Archibald be your date, iconic.

7. The Third Thanksgiving (Season 3, Episode 11, The Treasure of Serena Madre)

I love this episode cause it is just MESSY. Serena is having an affair with Tripp and her mom finds out at Thanksgiving dinner!!! Also it’s very dramatic and it seems like every kid hates their parent that episode. They literally all leave the damn table. SO rude. A lot was happening and Jason Derulo playing in the background just adds to the dramatics. 

6. S & B In Paris (Season 4, Episode 1, Belles De Jour)

Serena and Blair whisking away to Paris was a huge episode in Gossip Girl history. Not only did they shoot on location but the outfits in this episode are remarkable. I literally only put this so high cause of Blair’s red dress she wears to talk to Chuck. I mean what was the wardrobe budget?!

5. The First Thanksgiving (Season 1, Episode 9, Blair Waldorf Must Pie!)

I love this episode cause we get to see two things; Blair’s vulnerable side and Serena the hot mess express. We finally got to see why Blair was such a bitch. They did a good job portraying her eating disorder and it wasn’t a pleasant thing to watch. I just love this flashback cause you see Nate, Serena, and Blair genuinely happy. Also I love when Serena is drunk and doesn’t even recognize Dan or remembers his name. I mean… who would?

4. Cotillion Number One (Season 1, Episode 10, Hi, Society)

This episode had a lot going on. like A LOT. Serena didn’t want to go to Cotillion but her grandma literally lied to get her to go. Blair didn’t want to take Nate we’ll never know fucking why he’s legit perfect. Chuck I think was still in love with Blair and he got the short end of the stick this time around. Serena ended up going but with the Winter Soldier so that was interesting. The Pretty Little Liar’s theme song was played during this episode and I think that’s what makes it so major.

3. Georgina Fucking Sparks 

I just want to say I love Georgina Sparks. She is number 3 for causing so much drama over the years. When she first appeared she made Serena sweat more than a sale at Bendel’s and I was here for it. Blair might have ran the show but Georgina was the true villain and Gossip Girl would absolutely suck without her.

2. The White Party (Season 2, Episode 1, Summer Kind of Wonderful)

Honestly not a lot happened in this episode in my opinion besides the scene of Serena eating chocolate strawberries seductively on the bus. The main reason this is number 2 because the all white party outfits were AMAZING. I don’t understand how everyone looked so good that day in all white in the gorgeous Hampton’s. Chuck with the black trim on his suit and Blair in that little white dress, this was one of the biggest fashion moments in Gossip Girl and it’s still amazing.

1. BFF’s Forever (Season 1, Episode 4, Bad News Blair)

S and B were the best friends of Gossip Girl and in this episode you really saw them click. They might have had a little fight but in the end they worked it out and this was really the first time you saw them be the bff’s they were born to be. The two of them stealing Mrs. Waldorf’s clothes and having their own photo shoot is my favorite scene in the entire show. I actually cry every time I watch this episode cause it makes me think of how much I love my best friends and how they’re always gonna be there for me. Although the show revolved around the romance the best relationship they gave us was the friendship between Serena and Blair.

[popofventi]

MENTAL YOGA SUNDAY / 5 FAVORITE LONG FORM READS THIS WEEK / ISSUE No. 14

"My mother always kept library books in the house, and one rainy Sunday afternoon - this was before television, and we didn't even have a radio - I picked up a book to look at the pictures and discovered I was reading and enjoying what I read."  -- Beverly Cleary

1

17776 (SB NATION)

The year is 17776, and Americans are still obsessed with football. That’s the simplest explanation of a multimedia fiction project written by Jon Bois that is currently being published in daily installments by the sports site SB Nation, where Bois is the creative director. The site began posting chapters of the story—which combines text, YouTube videos, tacky Muzak, eerie maps and graphics, and found archival documents—earlier this month, and the series is slated to wrap up later this week. According to Vox Media, SB Nation’s parent company, the story has received, as of Wednesday, more than 2.9 million page views. - Chapter 1

2

A Son's Race To Give His Dying Father Artificial Immortality (Wired)

"...We are sitting here, doing this, because my father has recently been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. The disease has metastasized widely throughout his body, including his bones, liver, and brain. It is going to kill him, probably in a matter of months.

So now my father is telling the story of his life. This will be the first of more than a dozen sessions, each lasting an hour or more. As my audio recorder runs, he describes how he used to explore caves when he was growing up; how he took a job during college loading ice blocks into railroad boxcars. How he fell in love with my mother, became a sports announcer, a singer, and a successful lawyer. He tells jokes I’ve heard a hundred times and fills in biographical details that are entirely new to me.

Three months later, my younger brother, Jonathan, joins us for the final session. On a warm, clear afternoon in the Berkeley hills, we sit outside on the patio. My brother entertains us with his favorite memories of my dad’s quirks. But as we finish up, Jonathan’s voice falters. “I will always look up to you tremendously,” he says, his eyes welling up. “You are always going to be with me.” My dad, whose sense of humor has survived a summer of intensive cancer treatments, looks touched but can’t resist letting some of the air out of the moment. “Thank you for your thoughts, some of which are overblown,” he says. We laugh, and then I hit the stop button." - Read Full Story

3

‘Let’s Suck This Week Less Than We Did Last Week’: An Oral History of The Stranger (Longreads)

"In July of 1991, Tim Keck moved to Seattle from Madison, Wisconsin, to launch a newspaper. He’d recruited a handful of friends and colleagues from the Onion, the satirical weekly he’d cofounded and recently sold (yes, that Onion), to help him conceive a new, irreverent publication—one which sent-up the weekly newspaper format and had equal doses of reporting and criticism as it did satire.

Among those who joined him were James Sturm, Peri Pakroo, Nancy Hartunian, Wm. Steven Humphrey, Christine Wenc, Johanna “Jonnie” Wilder, Matt Cook, Andy Spletzer, and, later, Dan Savage.

Armed mostly with hubris, a few thousand dollars, and three slow-as-fuck computers, they initially set their sights on appealing to University of Washington students, but quickly found their real audience among the queers and weirdos who (used to) populate Capitol Hill. Their coverage of Seattle was necessarily informed by their perspective as outsiders, transplants… (are you really going to make me say it?) strangers.

You could make the case that The Stranger‘s relationship with its adoptive hometown has not always been frictionless. That’s not entirely accidental. Making people uncomfortable—while entertaining and serving them—is an important part of the job.

“The only way I see myself becoming one of the cherished traditions of the Village,”Norman Mailer wrote of his column in the Village Voice in 1956, “is to be actively disliked each week.”

Mailer only lasted 17 columns in the Voice. The Stranger just turned 25. Here’s how it got started." - Read Full Story

4

The Unlikely Rise of … Shuffleboard? (The Ringer)

"Tom Petty and REO Speedwagon boomed off the grandstand seats. Players were illuminated by twinkling white Christmas lights hanging from the rafters above the open-air setup. The hubbub was punctuated by the rhythmic smacking of heavy plastic discs against each other and the intermittent eruption of cheers. I stood, stunned into silence, marveling at this unfettered display of youthful vigor. When did shuffleboard — that bastion of geriatric time-killing — become cool?" - Read Full Story

5

How Russian Propaganda Spread From a Parody Website to Fox News (The New York Times)

"Born in the shadowy reaches of the internet, most fake news stories prove impossible to trace to their origin. But researchers at the Atlantic Council, a think tank, excavated the root of one such fake story, involving an incident in the Black Sea in which a Russian warplane repeatedly buzzed a United States Navy destroyer, the Donald Cook." - Read Full Story

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[mrs-nate-humphrey]

also YEAH this is the episode in which jenny starts skipping off school :( rufus is so useless and this arc is so, so sad. and i don’t get dan either ( @persefoneshalott  - read your tags on that reblog ) - like, he is so protective of jenny in s1? where does that go?? (hint: the writers suck.) 

i think it’s really telling that the amount of good dan&jenny scenes we get and the amount of good serena&eric scenes we get reduce in the same ways, at around the same times. the show gradually decided it wanted its centre and focus to be elsewhere, and didn’t put any thought into it, while in s1, both dan and serena were SO fucking dedicated to being the best elder siblings they could be (and yes, sure, they messed up sometimes, but they always tried to fix it best they could.) i think it’s extremely ooc of dan to be so Absent in jenny’s life, especially since the way s1 played out i feel like he was actively trying to fill the gap of alison leaving for jenny’s sake. 

it pisses me off more in s3 though, especially that episode in which serenate is trying to stop jenny from losing her virginity (weird, creepy, not okay, mildly invasive and unsettling, UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK TO WATCH, unbelievably icky) and dan is..... nowhere to be seen?? hello, daniel? your blonde sunshine friends are being WEIRD please chastise them? where the hell are you?? 

it’s literally just bad writing. dan humphrey, the way they defined him, would NEVER. he wouldn’t be that absent to jenny. HE is the one who is always forgotten / left behind!! he would NEVER do that to his sister.