#fuck I’m hungry

[oasisofgalaxies]

What if I just. Stay up until the body of this thing (crochet present) is done. I have RTgame’s Minecraft playthrough loaded up. I can keep going. I AM THE PIONER.

[capitalisticveins]

good now we got a choice

hibachi

chinese

mexican

italian

indian

or something americans decided was acceptable

what we eating

Ffffffuck I want pernil so bad

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

I’d fr kill for noodles

[beanzbeanz001]

Spent way too long on this and then gave up

[nicollekidman]

buffy knows spike loves her during season five. buffy knows spike loves her when she comes back and seeks comfort/silence in his presence. and as she comes back to herself and tries to make peace with the fact that she’s Here Again, she still knows he loves her. and i think part of the Big Bad Grabbing The Slayer For The Darkness routine they both cling to is that it allows them to pretend this huge thing isn’t between them so they can get what they both want (someone to stay).

and like obviously buffy cannot allow herself to believe that he loves her for many reasons, but she DOES believe it, she can’t make herself unknow it even though she tries so hard. which is partially where the breakdown with tara in 6.13 comes from because the cognitive dissonance of soulless spike loving her as if he has a soul while she is so lost within herself that the only way she can reach for him is to use him (which would be fine if he was the big bad grabbing the slayer for the darkness) which is hurting him! unfathomably! but he’s supposed to be the corruption! how can he??? any of it???

meanwhile spike has watched the woman he loves be brought back as a shell and he wants to see the light in her eyes and he can touch her now and sometimes that’s enough to make her laugh but he can’t linger in those moments or she’ll go away again! so he can play the role he needs to play so she’ll stay, as if he could keep her anywhere she didn’t want to be. as if he wants her to be in the dark instead of bringing him into the light. but how could he ask for anything more when he already got her back and he didn’t even need to kill her afterwards.

and so they hurt each other and he forgets himself and asks her if she even likes him and it’s too honest and he’s asking too much (he asks for nothing) so before she can throw her life away like it’s nothing, he puts the game face on, makes himself a target, and swallows it all. and she can’t unknow. and it would all be fine except he’s a vampire and she’s the slayer and how can he just say it like it’s nothing when she needs to beat his face in just to keep from screaming.

[this-too-shall-bleed]

resuming scheduled programing of 4am sketch dump

these are related images

why is it that every time I draw oscar it’s like the new softest thing I’ve drawn ever

I’ve already posted this but I still like it

Actually kayne jumpscare

Scheming

[dollopole]

No because let’s talk about the sexual tension between Merlin and Arthur when Arthur forces Merlin to eat the rat soup… I mean, it’s just rat soup. Arthur had no right to make it gay. But he did. That was so gay. Let’s thank the rat, a sacrifice had to be made for Arthur and Merlin to eye fuck each other.

[watchyourbuck]

nah stop the music. we moved on too fast. wtf was this

5x1: “Panic.”

[kazanskys-mitchell]

i’m going to rip the bars off my enclosure rn and it’s because of this fucking guy

[divkazkdovikde]

you know what absolutely doesn’t make sense in the marauders fandom and yet you all people ran with it? moony toast. you know the one, where he cuts it in four pieces and has every piece with different topping? lovely, yes absolutely. i know. BUT WHY HAVE I NOT SEEN A ONE SINGLE OBJECTION ON HOW FUCKING UNREAL THAT IS? like you’re telling me, that one single fucking toast was enough of a breakfast for him? FOR A FUCKING TEENAGER IN DEVELOPMENT?!?!?! FOR A WEREWOLF?!?!?! YOU’RE TELLING ME, THAT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FAKE ASS BITCHES I’VE SEEN TO POST HERE HOW YOU’RE HAVING A MOONY TOAST, THAT IT WAS ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?!?! nahhh, na-ahh, i’d bet all my money, you had to make at least another three toasts like this for it to be enough. like i dunno what kind of fucking toast bread are you guys buying or you think the elves were making, but the toast in a real world is the least hunger-full-fucking-filling (or something like that i dunno english fuck me) piece of a fucking bread you can buy. i have to have at least four toasts to not be hungry again in an hour. more realistic would be, if he’d just have the four toasts and every with different topping. that, would make sense.

[poohadventuresinseamajors]

The last Cheetos puffs on my bag that are on my room since last week:

[robertskyswifeyyy]

but your honor they gave him ass

[eplettmaster25]

I will never not think about the time I heard ‘fable’ by Gigi Perez in full for the first time and got violently pushed into a vision of Sirius looking into the night sky at the part “sparkling like my sisters eyes” and Sirius thinking about Regulus after he left.

[nachocheezos21]

made some fake badges for z-257 yippieee

[Wait…what?]

Be revived by Z-257 without the use of ferryman tokens.

[Annoying much?]

Successfully infuriated Z-257-2 until the Ridge.

thanks obby for giving me inspo of what to draw (instead of working on my cv for my position 🤓). z-257 is smth my friends and i came up with for fun, so idk if i’ll be planning on sharing more abt it…depends if they’re chill with me info dumping but idk auauuauau. just think of it as like ,,, meadowlark’s wonderment, yea

[soullessjack]

another tally on the “things about jack that have been almost erased by the baby au” is how genuinely fucked up and weird and scary and violent and horrifying he is. the body horror of his existence is so. Palpable.

he looks human, but he still fundamentally is not human, and the thing that separates him from being human or belonging or being normal and loved and accepted without strings attached is his own bloodline. his own family, his own father. the blood that runs through his veins is the blood of the devil and he wasn’t fed it like Sam. the anger and rage and capacity for violence inside him isn’t an ancient curse like it was for Dean. It’s just who he is. It’s his neurology. Jack enters a guilt/grief-induced psychosis so bad he starts hallucinating his own dead evil father who proceeds to say “I’m in your head, your DNA,” and goes on about how Jack’s place with the only chosen family he ever cared for is that of their little pet monster who’s only kept around to kill things for them. And this is his subconscious, remember, these are all Jack’s own thoughts being given a hallucinatory voice.

When jack is first born he doesn’t even register that he’s not a full human. It’s not until he catches dean telling the sheriff that he’s a Nephil and gets stabbed all the way through his entire heart to the hilt of the angel blade and survives, that he realizes he’s Not Normal. Jack stabs himself 18 times with “grim determination,” dedicated to making a wound stay open in his body, but nothing happens. He doesn’t know what any of this is, but he knows it’s dangerous and he’s seen firsthand what he can do, because he sent the sheriff careening backwards into glass when he didn’t mean to do anything more than push her away. He tells Dean he will hurt someone again [whether he means to or not]. And he tells Sam, using his powers is like breathing; it’s a subconscious, physical, neurological part of his system that he cannot (currently) consciously control or stop.

He’s literally a living weapon. These powers of his that hurt people are akin to breathing. His violence and his evil is deep seated and runs through his heart and bleeds out of him. But he can’t bleed the evil out. He can’t escape what he was born into or what keeps him alive. He can’t even live without this nuclear power that ostensibly others him from everyone forever. He’s foaming at the mouth and seizing and fainting and bleeding and going into total systemic failure and subsequently dying as a human because he just isn’t human and he can’t live as one even if he wants to, even if that is a part of him it still isn’t the only part of him. The other half that makes him untrustworthy and violent and angry and dangerous and nuclear and evil and feared and hated is the one part he is left dying without.

His body dies a first time because it couldn’t live without its own hereditary disease, he died as a human and goes to human heaven and sees and rekindles with his human mother, the part of him that he wants to be and loves but can’t exist as. He’s brought back but now he’s a time bomb, a nuclear reactor internally melting down. he’s a weapon, but he’s alive because he was born as a weapon, and neither of these things were his choice.

and then a second time his body dies because he was only registered as a threat with no humanity. his eyes are burned out of his skull and instead of heaven with his mother, instead of humanity, he wakes up in the pitch black abyss where other nonhumans go when they die, then he’s brought back and he’s a weapon for the third time. He’s a living bomb, a collapsing black hole, and he has to eat human hearts ripped straight from the chest to keep his bomb body alive and ready for detonation, ready for collapse. He’s so far from human, further than he ever wanted to be, further enough to make his deep rooted fear a reality that he’s too suicidal to bother rebuking. Why rebuke the truth? The absolute truth that the devil, the evil of all things is in his blood and he is evil and he was a born weapon whose body exists to destroy and kill and not even his own love or will can stop it.

He is a gun that doesn’t want to be a gun and hates that his body is made to shoot and kill, but he has no choice in being anything else but a gun. He cannot ever be good, he was never good to begin with, he was just malfunctioning, glitching, experiencing an error and virus and flaw that he wishes was his entire programming. His eyes glow yellow like the corrupted Star Wars Sith and Rosemary’s Baby and a whole slew of evil things that are evil and meant to be rejected. When he gets angry, people stare at him as if he’s a cornered animal, because that’s what he is to them. To both sides of the equation, he is an animal. A foreign creature, a thing, he’s not human enough to be human and he’s not angelic enough to be an Angel. He’s some weird mixture that nobody can understand or accept. He’s unpredictable and violent and wild and born that way and only in his subsequent domestication, only in the extension of personhood and humanity can he be deemed worth loving. He’s like a dog, detrimentally loyal, old yeller going rabid while saving his family and having to be shot in an act of mercy. Barking and biting at people who might hurt his loved ones and killing them as an act of love. Sam wanted Nick to burn so Jack burns Nick and that’s why Jack says they would be grateful. He did what Sam wanted. Same for the other biblical killings. He’s the cat sinking its fangs into rodents and birds. Leaving the punctured corpses on the doormat as a gift, I did this for you because I love you, don’t you love me too?

I haven’t eaten well in the past two days does this click click anyone’s boom. Saliva

[god-blog]

Lord Hermes,

Patron of the commuters, of the bustling city that raised me,

Please help me come into more money.

I’ve been working three jobs and a side hustle but prices are so high. I feel so guilty buying things that make me happy and even things I need to survive.

I want so many things I can’t have: books, new clothes and shoes, a full meal three times a day, money for my metrocard, money for my passport, stability.

I want, I want, I want.

My heart aches with want. My stomach growls with want.

I don’t want to be poor anymore.

Please help me come into more money.

Please help me come into more money.

Please help me come into more money.