#fuck Collin was right I want to fucking kill him

[balls-heheh]

Holy Fuck Fucking Fuck Face Fuck you Oz Oh my god Kill yourself you miserable piece of shit fuck you.

So he just died with his family that night? Is that your fucking metaphor? His fucking ID/Identity sinks in the same water that killed his family god fuck you.

[kudossi]

Tigerclaw and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Senior Warrior Position AU

In a world where deputies can only be named after their first apprentice has been granted their warrior name, Tigerclaw struggles to keep an apprentice alive long enough to earn their name.

or, a comedy-tragedy AU in which having an apprentice isn't enough — you have to see them to their warrior name, and Tigerclaw cannot fucking get any of his goddamn apprentices to live, damn it.

—

It starts out mostly normally, except for the fact that Tigerclaw hasn't gotten any apprentices to their warrior name, and he needs that so he can accomplish his (very noble, of course) kitty genocide goals. And also be the supreme leader of the world or something. Darkpaw died stupidly, he hasn't had a chance since, and now he's got some tiny thing that's afraid of his own shadow.

Well. It'll have to do.

So naturally this man is so protective over Ravenpaw that Ravenpaw barely even leaves his sight. Firepaw and Graypaw think that this is adorable. Look how much Tigerclaw cares about his apprentice!!

Ravenpaw, of course, is fucking terrified and also slowly losing his mind, just in a different way.

—

"Redtail assigned us to go on a patrol to Snakerocks." "OH NO HE DID NOT. WE'RE STAYING IN THE SANDY HOLLOW WHERE IT'S SAFE."

"Nothing matters more to me than making you a warrior, Ravenpaw. Nothing." And the terrible thing is that Ravenpaw is sure he's being sincere.

—

Ravenpaw disappears and Tigerclaw nearly fucking has a conniption because the timing was all RIGHT and he was going to finally get the position AND HE NEVER GOT HIS DAMN NAME FUCK.

"Do you think I could convince the elders that Fireheart was my apprentice?" "Fireheart was Bluestar's apprentice, as approved by StarClan. You're going to have to wait for the next litter to be apprenticed."

So he begs and begs and gets Cinderpaw and then she accidentally falls into the trap he'd set for a better deputy candidate at the Thunderpath. Fuck.

—

Well. Time to resort to drastic measures.

"I was thinking that Darkstripe would have been a good name. Because he had dark stripes." "Again, Tigerclaw, it's admirable that you loved your apprentice so much, but I cannot grant him a name." "Are you sure?" "Honestly, Tigerclaw, I'm not sure he ever would have gotten a name. Missing quite a few feathers from his nest, that one..." Fuck. The worst part was that she wasn't even wrong.

— Swiftpaw and Brightpaw get mauled by the dogs he set up to happen like right after he got the title and they sprang it before and he's like FUCK NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE DAMN DOGS? His world domination plans literally never come to fruition because he cannot keep his apprentices alive/in the clan/his own.

— "Brightheart counts. She HAS to count." "Actually, Cloudtail took over her training…" [demented noises]

—

Turns out that Ravenpaw is alive and no one — no one — in the Harper Collins Extended Universe is happier than Tigerclaw.

"You're alive! …You deserve your warrior name!" "Actually, I've come to peace with my name and my way of life. I have no need for a—" "GET YOUR FUCKING NAME RIGHT NOW RAVENPAW OR SO HELP ME STARCLAN—" "I know you really wanted Ravenpaw to become a warrior," Barley says gently, "but he's made his decision. It's very kind of you to acknowledge that he deserves it, though. You must have been so close as mentor and apprentice." Tigerclaw's eye twitches. "Yes. Close. Very... close." —

He finally, finally retires as an elder after his plans go absolutely nowhere for years on end. And maybe StarClan is still like "Brambleclaw would be chill actually, we can forget that pesky little law" and Tigerclaw is sitting there like "excuse me what the actual fuck?" —

But at this point Tigerclaw is about as dangerous as Ashfur without a freak forest fire. Which is to say about as dangerous as using a leaf as a weapon. Which is, incidentally, how Darkpaw managed to get himself killed in the first place.

—

"Is this the Dark Forest? This has to be the Dark Forest. It doesn't look like Thistleclaw described it, but it must be. This Clan is all an elaborate punishment meted down by StarClan for my sins." "Tigerclaw, sir, I'm just here to help you with your ticks. See? I have the mousebile right here." "…Yes, thank you, Alderpaw." — Graystripe joins him in the elder's den and he's like, "You know, Ravenpaw thought you were up to some… scheme, back in the day. Crazy, right? You've been a model Clanmate as long as I've been alive." [muffled screaming] "Huh, what do you think that is? It sounds almost like someone killed a rabbit, but they know not to come this close to camp…"

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Then & Now (M, cold)

Hiii, hope you like A LOT of hurt followed by 2-3 sentences of comfort lmao. This is Greyson fic - Grey is sick on a day he and Reed are supposed to have a date, and he's sure Reed is going to be angry with him because Trauma(TM). It's told in a flashback sort of format which I really enjoyed because I love writing blurbs of colds at different times in life lol. I hope you guys like it, please let me know what ya think, good, bad, or otherwise :)

CW: Male snz, cold, pneumonia mention, coughing, contagion mention, lots and lots of whump lmao. A little over 4K words under the cut.

Then & Now

Now

“Morning, Chef.”

“Huh-! HhITSZHH-ue!”

Elijah turned towards Greyson, who was doubled over into his hoodie sleeve, and gave him a sympathetic grimace. “Cooks finally pulled you under, hmm?”

“Ugh, like way fuckin’ under,” Greyson muttered, rubbing his eye and sucking in through his nose. “I feel like ass.”

“Sorry, dude,” Elijah said, tossing his counterpart a box of tissues. “Sucks.”

Greyson caught the box and pulled out a few just in time. “HITSZHZH-uhh!” This one, he managed to catch in the handful of tissues. He wiped his nose and shrugged. “Yeah,” he said, tossing the used tissues. “Mbostly because I was supposed to have a date tonight.”

Elijah smirked at his friend, who was pushing past the GM into their shared office. The two of them sat in unison. “Do you guys still call them dates? You’ve been official for, like, six months.”

“It’s our six-month anniversary,” Greyson said, his voice flattened by congestion. “We were going to do EMP.”

“Awww, now I’m depressed,” Elijah said. “Also, why didn’t you tell me earlier you were going to Eleven Madison? I still know people there.”

“So does Reed,” Greyson said, massaging his temple. “That’s why we were goigg. Fuck, mby fuckin’ head is pounding. Do we have any -?”

Elijah placed the ibuprofen in front of the chef before he could ask, along with a bottle of cough syrup and a decongestant. “You know we have it all,” he said, pushing an old cup of water across the desk for Greyson to swallow his arsenal of pills. “And fair enough. Well that fuckin’ sucks, dude, I’m sorry. Hey, at least you can leave early, right? Matt’s closing?”

“Yeah,” Greyson said, unwrapping a cough drop and popping it in his mouth. “I’ll head out once the rush is over. I still have to text Reee – hh...hhNTSHH-ue! HGTSHH-uhh!” Greyson doubled over, sneezed into his arm, and groaned. “I’mb gonna kill the guys when they get in,” he said, mostly to himself.

“Don’t do that,” Elijah said, placing a hand on Greyson’s shoulder on his way out of the office. “Then you’ll have to stay all night.”

Greyson huffed out a laugh and pulled out his phone. He clicked on his conversation with Reed, sighing. He did not want to have this conversation.

Greyson

9:31AM

hey babe. gonna have to cancel tonight, the cooks infected me w their plague :( im rly sorry.

The chef set his phone on the desk, prepared to either be ghosted or gaslit – two of Collin’s favorite pastimes whenever Greyson had had to cancel their plans during their relationship – and was shocked when the phone buzzed with a text almost immediately. He was almost afraid to look at his boyfriend’s response.

Reed

9:32AM

Oh, baby don’t be sorry!! what time are you off? I’ll pick you up and take you home :) we can do a sick day little date night instead!

Greyson stared at the phone, stunned. He couldn’t help it; he read the message again, then out loud said, “What the fuck?”

Then – Ten Years Ago

“Chef?”

The Executive Chef looked up from his paperwork at Greyson and sighed. “What is it, Abbott?”

“I, um – hh! HTSHH-uh! HGXTSH-ue! Snf. Umb, I just wanted to see if it was okay if I… left a little early today?” Greyson asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His chef raised his eyebrows and put his clipboard down. Oh, no, Greyson thought.

“Leave...early? And leave your clean up and prep to whom, exactly? Me?” The Executive Chef huffed out a laugh. “That’s rich, Abbott. Why the fuck would you need to leave early?”

“I…” Greyson started, but his voice gave out on the single syllable. He attempted to clear his throat. “I just… I really feel like shit? I was hoping I could, like… sleep it off, I guess. I mbean, I wouldn’t want to get anyone else sigck.” Greyson felt a cough bubbling to the surface; he tried to quell it, to no avail. The younger man collapsed into a coughing fit that felt like it lasted a lifetime.

The Chef remained unmoved. “My guys,” he said, placing a hand on his chest as Greyson attempted to compose himself, “don’t get sick, Abbott. And if they do, I don’t fucking hear about it. Understand? Because I really don’t give a shit. If you’re here, you’re here. If you decide to leave early,” he shrugged, uncaring, “then you leave for good. And Abbott, if you try to get a job after walking out of my kitchen, I promise you I will make it impossible. I know you’ve only been here a couple months, but here’s what you need to learn: put your head down and do your fucking job, and you can work anywhere in the world after this. Be a whiny piece of shit who tries to walk out on his shift, and you’ll be working at McDonald’s for the rest of you life. Got it?”

Greyson, too shocked to rebut, just bobbed his head up and down.

“Let me hear you say it,” the Chef said. Greyson cleared his throat.

“Yes, Chef,” he said. The Chef nodded.

“Now get the fuck out of my office.”

Now

“Elijah. Look at this text.”

The GM looked up slowly from the iPad where he was going over reservations for the evening. “...Why?” he asked, taking the phone from Greyson’s hand.

“Just look. Tell mbe that’s ndot weird,” Greyson said, crossing his arms over his chest. Elijah looked down, confused, and read the text. He pinched his eyebrows together just a little, and read it again. “See? Isn’t that weird?”

“Greyson…” Elijah said, handing the phone back. “That’s not weird.”

“Seriously?” Greyson asked, reading the text yet again. “It’s bizarre. He’s ndot even a little mad? C’mon. That’s weird.”

“He’s being sweet,” Elijah explained, slowly, as though he were talking to a toddler. “Did you want him to be mad? Because that’s bizarre.”

“Ndo I don’t want him to be mad. I jus – HTSZHH-ue! HRRSHH!” Greyson wrenched to the side to sneeze, which sent him into a fit of hacking coughs. “I just figured he’d want to, like, yell at mbe or something. For canceling,” Greyson finished, his voice strained against another cough. Elijah didn’t respond, not at first, and instead pressed a hand onto the chef’s forehead.

“I think you’re sicker than we thought, because you’re acting fucking delusional,” he said as Greyson slapped his hand away. “Greyson, normal people don’t yell at each other for getting sick, or having to cancel a plan. That’s, like, really twisted.”

Greyson rolled his eyes. “It’s ndot twisted, Lij you fuckin’ drama queen,” he said, then held up a finger. “Onesec – hh! Hh...hnn.” Greyson sniffled, a let out a little irritated cough. “Lost it.”

“Go back to the kitchen,” Elijah said, pointing towards the swinging doors. “Sit down. Rest. Let your medicine kick in. I don’t want people seeing this -” he gestured to Greyson, as if to allude to his entire being – “when they walk past the restaurant. Alright? Text your boyfriend something nice. Not something unhinged.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Greyson muttered, turning toward the kitchen, his phone still open to the conversation with Reed. He turned towards Elijah again before pushing through the kitchen doors. “I still say that this is the unhinged thing.”

“Go to therapy, Greyson,” Elijah said, not looking up from the iPad. Greyson rolled his eyes, pushed into the kitchen, and regarded his phone once again.

Greyson

10:07AM

thanks, babe. it’s ok, I can take care of myself. it wont be a long day, ill just grab some nyquil omw home and sleep it off. ill reschedule our rezo too, don’t worry about that. im really sorry again for canceling. if I could taste the food id still go lol.

Figuring that sounded at least relatively normal, Greyson hit send. He sat down at his desk once again and placed his head in his hands. No way he’s not pissed, Greyson thought, and he really believed it. In all his years of dating, he’d never met anyone who would respond that way; they’d at least have a snippy remark about the last-minute nature of the cancellation.

Greyson’s phone pinged once again, and he couldn’t help but grab it right away to assess the damage.

Reed

10:08AM

honey, please don’t apologize, seriously. youre sick, it happens, its no biggie :) I already moved the reservation to next week but if we need to ill move it again. james at emp said to tell you feel better btw.

Greyson blinked, dumbstruck. He started typing without thinking.

Greyson

10:10AM

you REALLY arent mad? seriously?

Reed

10:10AM

im really not mad. who gets mad at someone for being sick…? is someone at work mad at you? am I supposed to be mad..? lol

Greyson

10:11AM

I mean its a last minute cancellation. id understand if u were mad.

Reed

10:11AM

welllll….im not. is that ok? haha

Reed

10:15AM

grey…? you believe me, right?

Reed

10:21AM

greyson..?

Then – Seven Years Ago

He was moving through molasses.

Greyson placed a sluggish hand to his own forehead – you can’t check yourself for a fever, dumbass – and blinked painfully. He’d made it to work, he’d made it through the day, and he’d made it back home, against all odds. Now, he was stuck on his couch, unable to even crawl to the bathroom for a thermometer.

It had all compounded on him, was his guess. The endless fourteen hour days for the better part of two years at his thankless sous chef job. The shitty Chicago-suburbs apartment with no heat, where he froze for the few hours a week he slept. The near-constant drinking. Sure, he was only twenty-five, but what was it they said about this industry? It ages you in dog years. Yeah, that was it.

“Hh-! Hh...ITSZHH-ue! HTSHHH-ue!” Greyson sneezed helplessly into the blanket he’d wrapped around himself, and groaned. This was not what he’d imagined when he moved here from Minnesota. He’d thought it would be glamorous, working as a sous chef at a high-end hotel in a big city. He thought he’d have friends, or a girlfriend, or something. Instead, he was trapped on his couch, benched by a sinus infection and seasonal depression that seemed to last the whole year round. Fuck this, Greyson thought. He couldn’t get off the couch, but he could reach his phone; Greyson pulled up Indeed and changed his search parameters.

Actively searching for work. Location: Any.

Now

“Um… Chef? What’s, uh… what’s going on?”

Greyson paused for a moment, a crate of spoiled food held on his shoulder. He turned towards Matt, keen to answer, but instead held the crate tighter and wrenched to the side. “HRTTSHH-uh!”

“Bless you,” Matt said, an automatic reaction. Greyson nodded, turned towards the dumpster, and dumped the food in before beginning the cycle anew: pick up crate. Turn to sneeze. Dump old food. Matt wasn’t sure if he should help his boss, or go inside for backup.

He chose the former, picking a crate filled to the brim with rotten tomatoes off the ground and hoisting it into the trash. “You gonna tell me what’s up?” he asked as the two of them continued gathering and tossing.

Greyson sighed, pulled a hand down his face, and shook his head. “I thingk Reed and I are over,” he said, voice soft and throaty. Matt’s eyebrows shot up.

“What? Seriously? What did you do?” Matt asked, prompting a stuffy laugh from his boss.

“I just don’t thingk it’s going to work,” Greyson said, shrugging. “I… I don’t want to, like, play gambes. I can’t do that again, ndot after Collin.”

“Chef,” Matt said as he gathered and tossed the last milk crate, “what are you talking about? Reed is, like, the most straight-shooting guy I’ve ever met. How is he playing games?”

Greyson, left without anything to occupy his hands, just shrugged and pulled out his phone. He handed it to Matt without explanation, and the sous quickly read through the text conversation Greyson and Reed had going. Matt furrowed his brow.

“I don’t get it,” he said, handing the phone back. “He wants to take care of you, what’s the problem with that?”

“He doesn’t want to take care of me, he wants to have the upper hand,” Greyson explained, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and sitting on the step just outside the back door. “Want one?”

“Sure,” Matt said, sitting beside his boss. “I mean, you shouldn’t be smoking if you’re -”

“HTSHH! Hh-! ITZSHH-ue!” Greyson turned into his elbow, taking a long moment to gather himself before handing Matt his cigarette.

“-sick,” Matt finished. The older man shrugged, and Matt plucked the lighter out of Greyson’s hand to light both of them up, not daring to push his boss any closer to the edge. For a moment, they smoked in silence, only Greyson’s sniffles and coughs interrupting the quiet.

“Boss,” Matt said, finally, “I think you need to talk to Reed.”

“I did,” Greyson said, stubbing out his cigarette. “You saw.”

“No, I mean actually talk to him,” Matt said. The two of them stood, looking at each other – a face-off without the malice. Matt continued. “Not ignore his texts and clean out the walk-in.”

Greyson scoffed. “Matt, just because you have sombe fairy-tale love story doesn’t mbean everyone else does, too. Okay? If it’s over between me and Reed, it’s fine. I’mb better off alone, anywaa – hh! Hh… Hhhii-!” Greyson stood with his elbow poised at his face, stuck in pre-sneeze agony for what seemed like an eternity. While he was incapacitated, Matt took his phone and typed out a message that his boss couldn’t see. Finally, Greyson lowered his arm and sucked in, fruitlessly, through his nose. “The fugck are you doigg?” he asked, snatching his phone back from his sous.

“If you’re not going to talk to Reed,” Matt shrugged, unapologetic, “I will.”

Greyson looked down at his phone, which buzzed twice in his hand. Reed’s face popped up on the screen. Call from: reed <3

Then – Three Years Ago

“HTSHH! Huh! ETZSHH-ue! HRTTSHH-ue!”

“Bless, bless, bless you. Allergies?” Collin asked, not looking up from his phone. Greyson sniffled in vain, and coughed painfully.

“Ndot exactly,” he croaked from the doorway to Collin’s living room. “Baby, do you thingk you could drive mbe to urdent care, actually?”

Collin looked up and slowly raised an eyebrow. “For what?” he asked, obviously annoyed. Greyson swallowed as best he could and placed a hand on his throat.

“I thingk… I mbight have strep. Or bronchitis, or sombething. I, uh… I’ve had a fever for like. A week.” Greyson had to stop to close his eyes and grab onto the door frame, a sordid attempt to keep from hitting the floor like a rotten sack of potatoes. Collin rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a drama queen. You seemed fine when you came over last night.”

“You were asleep whend I came over,” Greyson said, his eyes still closed. “Did you ndot notice that I haven’t been over in like five days?”

Collin shrugged. “I mean, yeah, but I figured you were busy with work. You’re always busy with work,” he said, the venom in his voice making clear that he wanted to fight.

Greyson, physically incapable of fighting at that moment, just slid slowly to the ground and nodded. “Yeah. You’re right,” he said. “Ndow I’m paying the price. Please, baby. Can you please just take me? I… I really don’t feel well.”

It was pathetic. He knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself; he was fairly sure he was moments from passing out. Collin turned and made himself comfier on the couch.

“I’ll call you an uber,” he said, pressing some buttons on his phone. “You barely make time for me, and now you’re asking me to be your chauffeur? Please, Greyson.” He showed his ailing boyfriend the phone. “He’ll be out front in five minutes. Better make your way down.”

“Okay,” Greyson said, pulling himself slowly to his feet. “Thangk you.”

Collin didn’t say a word as Greyson let himself out of the apartment. He made it downstairs, and into the uber, and into the waiting room at urgent care. He made it out by himself, too, with a laundry list of prognoses – strep, sinus infection, walking pneumonia – and a handful of prescriptions. When he texted Collin later to fill him in, his boyfriend didn’t text back.

Greyson fell asleep on his shower floor and awoke to freezing water pounding on him, and a courier pounding on his door. When he toweled off and answered it, chicken soup from the local bodega and a note that read feel better -c sat at his feet. Greyson breathed a sigh of relief; at least he had been forgiven.

Now

Reed had dated plenty of men is his thirty-five years of life, and had found that there were two general categories when it came to sick men: there was the Baby, and there was the Don’t Look at Me.

Greyson though, an enigma since the moment they met, seemed to fall into a third category, a category that was, to Reed, yet undiscovered: the You Hate Me.

Reed was good with the first two categories; the Don’t Look at Me, you left medicine outside their room and texted them funny memes. The Baby, you laid in bed with them and spoon-fed them soup. Easy. Understandable. Truthfully, this was one of his favorite things about men: they were easy to crack. He figured Greyson would likely fall into the Baby category, which was fine by him – there was nothing he’d like more than to look after an ailing Greyson, to be honest. This third category he seemed to embody, though, was not something Reed knew what to do with.

“He didn’t answer when I called him,” Reed said into the phone receiver. “I just want to know what’s going on, I mean, did I say something wrong?”

On the other end of the line, Elijah sighed. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is just… it’s just Greyson being Greyson.”

Reed wasn’t about to take this lying down. “Hey, are you guys super busy tonight? I mean, I don’t want to be that boyfriend, but, like, can I come get him? We really need to talk, and if what Matt said is true he probably shouldn’t be, like, working anyway, right?”

While Elijah paused, Reed pulled the phone away from his ear and once again re-read the text Matt had sent from Greyson’s phone: hey reed, it’s matt. grey is sick as hell, so DO NOT take any of the crazy weird shit he says seriously, k? his temperature needs to lower by like 5 degrees before you do this, but u guys need to actually talk. he’s being stupid.

“Please,” Reed heard Elijah’s tinny voice on the other end and put the phone back to his ear. “Please, come and collect him. I’m begging.”

Reed stood from the couch and grabbed his keys. “Give me twenty minutes. I’m on my way.”

Then – Two Years Ago

“Heyyy, baby, cand I buy you a dringk?”

The girl leaned back, her face marked by disgust. “No, thanks. Save your money and get yourself some NyQuil,” she said, disappearing into the crowd. Greyson huffed out a sigh and coughed into his hand – a long, crackling sound that made the other bar patrons inch their chairs away.

“She’s right, you know,” the bartender – Skip, Greyson had learned his name was a few weeks back when he had started coming in every night – said, filling Greyson’s shot glass yet again. “You need to go home.”

“And yet you pour mbe another drink,” Greyson said, knocking back the shot. “The duality of mban. NGTXSH! HTSHH! Huh-! HRRSHH-ue!” Greyson covered his mouth lazily with one hand, wiped it on his pants, hand held the glass up to indicate ‘another’.

“Bless you,” Skip said, not pouring the shot. “Greyson, seriously: go home. You sound fucking awful.”

“Are you cutting mbe off?” Greyson asked, his rheumy eyes meeting Skip’s over the bartop. “Because unless you are, I’mb staying.” He coughed again, into his elbow; the cough was quickly becoming a problem. He’d had a cold two weeks ago; the symptoms had been mild, but the cough had hung around. When he caught whatever-the-fuck this was two days ago, the cough had turned from an annoyance to a pressing issue; he should go home. He should go to the doctor, he should take a day off, he should, he should, he should.

But he wouldn’t. He would stay, and he would drink until he was kicked out, then he’d pass out on the train and not make it home to sleep. He’d go to work at seven AM and stay until midnight and do it all again.

“I’m not kicking you out,” Skip sighed. “I’m just saying… you should take care of yourself.”

Greyson blinked slowly. He could feel his lungs, heavy with fluid, gearing up to cough again; his head, pounding in spite or because of the alcohol; his heart crushed into a million, Collin-sized pieces. Take care of yourself. It felt impossible, when you’d never been shown how.

“This is mbe taking care of myself,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’ll have another.”

Now

Greyson rested his head on a case of lettuce in the corner of the walk-in. He knew he should be continuing his madness of cleaning, but he’d accidentally sat down on his fifth trip into the refrigerator, and now he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get up again.

Fucking Reed, Greyson thought as he allowed the cold salad box to sate the fever he had burning in his brain. Why can’t he just be up front with me? If you’re mad just say it, don’t fucking torture me.

Perhaps deep down, he knew he was being ridiculous; Matt and Elijah were most likely correct. The simplest answer – that Reed truly was just a good guy – was probably the right one. But he just couldn’t get out of his mind all the times he’d reached out, needed help and asked for it, and been shot down. He certainly couldn’t allow himself to believe that the person he was dating was truly good; he knew he’d never deserve that.

“Greyson?”

Speaking of Reed, that sounded a lot like him – was Greyson hearing things? Had he, in his fever-addled state, conjured a hallucination of his boyfriend to have a fight with? Bizarre, Grey, he thought to himself. That’s really fucking bizarre.

“Grey? Elijah said you were in here but I don’t – oh!”

Either this was a really crazy hallucination, or that really was Reed standing over him, in the walk-in. Greyson blinked hard, then blinked again, and suddenly Reed was on the ground next to him.

“Babe...it’s really cold in here. Do you think we can, um, leave?”

Greyson furrowed his eyebrows together. “Leave… and go where?” he asked, his voice cracking. “I have to… work. What are you doigg heeee...HRTSHH-ue! Huh -! HTSHH! NTSHH! IGXTSH!” Greyson attempted to stifle over and over, until Reed gently took his hand and pulled it away from his face.

“That has to hurt,” Reed said, his voice quiet and calm. “You can just… sneeze, you know. Like, regular.”

“Tryigg ndot to get you,” Greyson croaked, his eyes glazing over once again. “Youbettermov – HRRETSZCHH-ue! ITSZZHH-ue! Fuck – NGTSHHZ-ue!” Greyson sneezed into his lap, then coughed until his lungs felt sore. Reed didn’t move; he came closer and rubbed Greyson’s back.

“Bless you, baby,” Reed said, eventually.

“Thangks. Sorry,” Greyson murmured, pushing his hair out of his face and turning to look at Reed. “Why are you here?” he asked, levity out the window.

Reed let out a little laugh. “Umm, why do you think?” he asked. “You’ve been ignoring me since this morning. I got worried, since Matt said you were super sick – no lie detected, by the way, you sound truly awful –”

“Sorry,” Greyson said again, wiping under his nose. “I kndow, it’s gross.”

“Please, Grey,” Reed said, taking both sides of his boyfriend’s face in his hands and looking him in the eye. “Please. Stop apologizing. It’s okay to be sick. I don’t understand why you think I’m angry at you. I’m not.”

Greyson swallowed, painfully, and gave a little nod. “Okay,” he said, finally.

“Okay,” Reed repeated. “Anyway. I called Elijah. He said to come and collect you.”

At this, Greyson couldn’t help but cough out a laugh. “Collect mbe?” he asked. Reed smiled a little.

“Yeah,” he said. “His words, not mine.”

They both laughed, softly at first, then ramping up to near-hysteria. They only stopped when Greyson started coughing again and couldn’t seem to stop.

“Let’s go get you some water,” Reed said, helping his boyfriend to his shaky feet. Greyson allowed himself to be pulled out of the walk-in, and given a bottle of water that was sitting on his prep station. Greyson drank until the fit subsided, then regarded Reed once again.

“So… you really aren’t mbad?” he asked, rubbing his goosebumped arms up and down. Reed shook his head and shrugged off his windbreaker. He draped it over Greyson’s shoulders.

“I’m really not mad,” he insisted. Greyson nodded, seemingly satiated. Reed sighed through his nose and slipped his arms around the chef.

“Life’s done a number on you, huh?” he asked, quietly enough that it could’ve just been to himself. Greyson huffed out a sad little laugh.

“Like you wouldn’t believe, baby,” he murmured, pressing his hot head into Reed’s hair. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

[formosusiniquis]

A Steddie / Buckingham comedy of errors of sorts. It goes like this.

Robin thinks Chrissy Cunningham might be her non platonic soulmate. She's smart, a little goofy, observant, seems like a great listener, and after what the rumor mill is saying was a pretty intense summer has really come into her own. It's a shame she went straight from dating Jason to Eddie Munson.

"She said she's working on herself," Steve claims, more in tune with the gossip than she is, "pretty hypocritical of you to say guys and girls can't be friends."

Which is pretty hypocritical of him when she knows he only cares cause he's already planning his wedding to Chrissy's new boyfriend; he needs Eddie to be single otherwise he's pining away for his perfect co-babysitter for nothing.

But it doesn't matter if they are dating or if they aren't or if Chrissy Cunningham with her perfect strawberry blonde ponytail is her soulmate, because her parents keep trying to set her up with some friend of a friend. She needs to do something quick before disaster strikes.

Melissa and Richard Buckley still know how to tie one on, when the occasion strikes. They're parents now, they've settled down some. Given in to the picket fence life, keep their yard mowed so Gayle Collins down the way stops glaring. They haven't done anything really crazy since that weekend they left Robin with Minerva and went to see what that whole Woodstock thing was about. Now they mostly just stick to getting as high as they can and stargazing on the weekends that Robin is off with Steve, a sweet boy kind of a square but the brownie recipe he gave them makes the best edibles.

Melissa can tell her daughter is lonely, she notices a lot of things about Robin that she won't tell them. Richard has noticed that their dealer Eddie has started bringing a friend along with him. Eddie is a sweet boy too, raised well respects his elders something they care about now that they've become them, he is also obviously and fantastically gay. Like all the parents in Hawkins, Richard and Melissa have heard how Wayne Munson has taken in that Cunningham girl after she came back from her trip out of state. Melissa remembers being a vaguely out of control youth and knows that a trip out of state is code for one of two things, and Chrissy doesn't look like she's ever been pregnant. Chrissy seems like a girl who might like their daughter.

Steve would die before he denies Robin just about anything. She is the platonic love of his life, they nearly died together, they've come out together. He's pretty sure as long as he has Robin and his kids he'd be content for the rest of his life, romance be damned.

A sentiment Robin seems to agree with since she wants him to fake being her boyfriend. Obviously, he says yes. Steve is a good boyfriend, he's always been a good boyfriend. He's attentive, great with parents, knows when to keep the pda to a minimum but also knows when to put on a show. He used to be pretty sure that Mr. and Mrs. Buckley liked him. So he's not really sure why they pulled him aside before movie night.

"Your parents hate me."

"There isn't a parent in Hawkins who hates you."

"You mom just asked me if I didn't think it might be better if I found someone more suited to me."

"What does that even mean?"

"It's basically mom code for I think your the worst person my daughter could have brought home. If I had the choice I'd kill you so why don't you do us both a favor and fuck off."

"I don't think that's right."

"Rob, I love you but conversational nuance isn't exactly your thing."

Eddie likes his job. Sure it's technically not honest work, but who knows maybe down the line they'll legalize it. He's getting in on the ground floor, an entrepreneur. Hawkins is surprisingly pro-weed and Eddie is just fine sticking to that after this summer. His favorite customers are the old folks. Like Miss Brenda at the library or the Buckleys. He always brings Chrissy along when he goes out these days, she feels weird staying in the trailer by herself and he likes having her nearby. She puts people at ease.

Except the Buckleys, who seem strangely obsessed with her. They ask her pointed questions about Dorothy, and surely they mean an actual Dorothy, surely the nice middle aged couple aren't trying to figure out if Chrissy is queer. Sure he got some vibes off of Buckley the younger, but that was before she started dating the love of his life. Now he's starting to think his whole gaydar has gone to shit.

Chrissy, a baby gay who has just broken free of the nastiest case of comp het Eddie has ever seen, answer honestly. She doesn't know a Dorothy, is that one of Robin's band friends? How is Robin, she is so sweet. Chrissy just wishes she had more time in the day so they could see each other more. She's dating Steve right, they make just the cutest couple, don't they think?

Eddie can tell Melissa doesn't. A surprise when even Wayne likes Steve Harrington, thinks he's the bees knees. Loaned him a screwdriver or some shit when the guy was over fixing something at the Mayfield place. She smiles though and agrees that Steve is quite sweet, in a tone that Eddie is far more used to hearing used when people are talking about him than about Steve Harrington. He blinks and the next thing he knows Chrissy is agreeing for them both that dinner on Friday sounds lovely; she'll bring a dessert.

Like she's ever baked in her life.

Chrissy Cunningham has had a rough couple of months, but she's settled now. Sure, she had a breakdown so bad in Eddie's trailer that she ended up having to get professional help; but she got that help and a new support system for herself. Really, the only way life could be much better is if she were dating Robin Buckley.

Eddie likes to tease her, calls her a baby gay like she's a wobbly legged deer still figuring things out. She's had eyes on Robin since the fifth grade, when she got her hair cut short to her shoulders the first time and her teeth still had a gap before her braces went on. Steve is a great guy, she's seen him with the group of freshmen that follow him around like ducklings; she's also watching him now and he's spent most of dinner making moon eyes at Eddie instead of his girlfriend.

She doesn't understand how, Robin is a vision. Full of spit and vinegar, she is firecracker mad glaring at her parents across the table. "You really brought him here? I'm dating Steve, can you not accept that?"

A lot happens at once, Chrissy isn't entirely sure what is going on but it feels a lot like a pot boiling over, something left too long unattended.

"We aren't trying to set you up with our dealer," Mr. Buckley said. "You're not exactly his type."

"Chrissy is such a nice girl." Mrs. Buckley tries.

"You said you stopped that," Steve to Eddie, a lethal pout on his lips and downturned eyes.

"Well, I stopped with the kids," Eddie tries, "I gotta pay the bills somehow, sweetheart."

"Chrissy?" If Robin was a vision in her sharp eyed rage, she's radiant in her pink cheeked surprise.

Once the shock, surprise, and comedy wear off Chrissy thinks there will be tears. Robin's parents seem nice. They seem like the kind of parents you confide in and who hold you tight. She thinks about her mom doing something thoughtful, thinks of her quietly accepting who she is and who she loves; and when she can't do that she thinks of Wayne and Eddie and knows she'd cry once they were alone and the theater of it all was over. So she thinks she might need to make the most of her moment while it's there. "I don't want to be a homewrecker," she jokes, something she's picked up from Eddie, "but I think your boyfriend has his eyes other places."

"Boyfriend, what boyfriend?"

"They're showing Clue at The Hawk this weekend, if you want to go with me?"

Robin can't nod her head fast enough.

"Stevie, I noticed you find yourself newly single," Eddie says, sorrow so fake he should rethink his decision to go within 10 feet of the drama department. "If you could bear it, would you want to crash their date make it a double?"

Steve agrees so fast a bit of hair escapes his coif, it falls in a curl at his forehead.

Robin's parents both seem pleased, pleasant smiles that chrissy is becoming more accustomed to seeing on adults now that she resides in the Munson place. "They'll be smug about this forever," Robin confides. Her smile betrays her lack of real dismay.

Chrissy got her girl and her best friend got his boy, so she thinks it's all's well that ends well.

[archivalofsins]

Shidou's birthday is in five days.

Who else is wondering if something is finally going to happen? And by something I mean if the fucking middle to high school age child is going to successfully kill the adult with a doctorate?

Who is shown doing this to another child around that age on introduction-

It will never not be funny that this is one of his first canonical introductions and the first allusion to his crime. Which has absolutely fuck all to do with being a doctor. No, it's just him gut checking a fifteen year old.

Gut checking them sooo hard the kid goes off the fucking ground. Then he goes to another person around that age if you really wanna have this problem I'm happy to oblige you-

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

People, when their first song title is a term well used to describe sparring, competing and/or being involved in a conflict of some sort,

Collins Dictionary

throw down in British English US slang 1. (intransitive) a. to offer or accept a challenge to fight b. to fight noun throwdown 2. a challenge, esp to physical or artistic competition

Not to be mistaken for the compound word apparently-

Cambridge Dictionary

a competition, an argument with someone, or a fight involving physical violence Examples The movie was widely regarded as the favorite in the best-picture throwdown. (have a throwdown) Tony and Bobby had a major throwdown one drunken night with their wives screaming at them to stop. (throwdown with) She had a throwdown with a doorman at a popular nightclub who wouldn't let her in.

Got curious (sidetracked) and checked if this was the same with Tear Drop and no that's usually a compound word from what I saw. Either spelled Teardrop or Tear-drop not with a space. At that point it's just tear and drop. Meaning it could be considered a bit of a play on Shidou's previous title Throw Down.

Unlike the song titles of their peers and their second and first trial song titles respectively Throw Down and Tear Drop lend themselves to multiple interpretations more than any other song title.

Throw down means to discard something as well. In the case of Shidou this something is his ethics,

“Throw down” ethics is a delusion

As well as the inferior in favor of the superior,

“Throw down”, someone’s value- Cannot be the same as another. “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority.

Discard the one who is inferior and save the superior one. I.E throw away what isn't important to me and support what is.

"Hey, you remember what it feels like? The feeling to take away in order to give." If it’s not needed, I’m not interested

Throw Down plays on the multiple meanings of its title,

“Throw down” connecting you with me,

The punch has landed right in the gut connecting them like an umbilical of pain.

"You're in my way...hurry up and die."

All joking aside- This cannot be the proper definition of throw down due to it involving connecting. The proper use of throw down is to disconnect from something either through discarding it or throwing it away.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

1: to cause to fall : overthrow 2: precipitate 3: to cast off : discard 4: to make (a slam dunk) with exceptional force

For those curious Precipitate means,

The underline portion,

To move or act with violent or unwise speed./ Exhibiting violent or unwise speed. A product or outcome of some process or action.

Can be applied to the lyrics of Throw Down as well particularly the lines

“Throw down” it’s ok, that’s enough- Can’t stay away. Please don’t forgive me. That’s why I want this to end “Throw down”.

As well as this line,

“Throw down” the invitation that I can’t take back,

As it implies accepting or offering an invitations brashly and no longer being able to get out of it. As well as aligns with the definition of Throw Down related to fighting/using violence,

Definition 1A. To offer or accept a challenge to fight.

Then his second song title is a location people are literally sent to after fighting to assess the severity of their injuries.

People when they don't throw down so there's no injuries as such no one needs to be triaged-

Q.06 Do you forgive Kotoko?

Shidou: No. I can’t forgive someone for trying to achieve things with violence.

Meaning they are no longer indispensable since their services aren't needed. As such their skills can't be used to lampshade their terrible to nonexistent moral compass by being emphasized in order to make them appear more moral than they actually are. In a I'm moral because I'm the only one able to help way.

Like it will never not be funny that Shidou has a distaste for violence to his own admission. To the point of finding Kotoko's actions unforgivable. Yet his first song title is Throw Down.

Shidou doesn't even have the in character canon excuse of not knowing what this means because he specifically doesn't speak English like Yuno does,

Q.10 Can you speak any languages other than Japanese?

Yuno: “I can’t speak English!” [TN: Her response was written in English.]

Even still this showcases she can write in English but there's the ambiguity of her being taught to write this just in case. Ya know like people are taught how to say no habla espanol to just inform people that they are incapable of speaking that language.

Also just because she cannot speak english doesn't mean English isn't taught at her school at least on a written level. I can't speak spanish I know how to write some things in it though that's for sure.

Meanwhile Shidou,

Q.04 Can you speak any languages other than Japanese?

Shidou: English, and on a basic conversational level German.

He blatantly admits to being able to speak English proficiently in contrast stating he's only able to speak German on a basic conversational level. He has no plausible deniability here. In character he knows what this means and in character the prisoners know their song titles.

This is knowledge they all have and many of them reference those titles over trial two. Anyone who is proficient in English knows what throw down can allude to. It is not generally considered a friendly term for polite conversation.

Which leads into my next point, Shidou's communication style. Many may be under the impression that Shidou is a poor communicator. This isn't exactly the case from my perspective. To me when I see Shidou having a conversation with any of the characters or hear his voice drama it always feels as though he's just doing this,

"Yes and no, it doesn't matter. It’s all how you say it."

In all of his conversations. That is not a link to Throw Down by the way and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Shidou has been shown to be a pretty dry communicator that doesn't show emote often or easily. Yet, he hasn't been shown having difficulty communicating or making acquaintances within Milgram in contrast to Mikoto.

Who's whole thing is going I'm a super nice and amazing communicator I love talking and everything to do with making conversation. Though I end up talking over people a lot and being too much. Has zero friends in this prison due to what I can only describe as liking talking to much and the Leo from Rise of TMNT speaking habits that makes him a bit hard for slower communicators to deal with.

Something everyone else in Milgram is actually. This man was made to not get along with anyone here. This is why despite his closeness in age to prisoners like Futa, Kotoko, and Mahiru- Mikoto more so gravitated towards Kazui and Shidou individuals more likely to be able to keep up with his communication style because they're older.

There was a thing on this I was discussing earlier hold on- Okay a while back I was looking into Verbal Comprehension. This is because my older sister was looking over my diagnoses forms and going over the IQ test portion of it and I got curious about what she was discussing so I was looking into what the scores meant with DoctorBunny's help.

He told me what the acronyms stood for on it. So I was able to look into it further. The verbal comprehension descriptor really fit well with Mikoto.

So, let's talk about it,

The 5 Key Aspects of IQ Testing: Verbal Comprehension

"High verbal comprehension scorers are the children who just live for words. These children dive into books. They love literature because authors use words in such creative ways. They like to come up with new words. They communicate and express ideas very well, often sounding much older than their age. Though their ability to process concepts allows them to breeze through school and connect with adults, they have difficulty finding same-age friends. You can imagine feeling bad if you have very high verbal comprehension and are talking and talking, but your classmates don’t listen to you because they’re not interested in words like you are. You would feel like you don’t have any true peers.

Q.01  What’s your specialty skill?

Amane: I don’t think I have a particular skill. Would studying count? I’m good at Japanese language.

20/07/15

Amane: Eh, my studies? I enjoy it. To me, studying is something I do for fun. Do you not think the same, Mikoto-san?

Mikoto: Not at all! It’s just a means to an end…… I just did the bare minimum needed to get into a good company. I actually went to an arts uni that had a pretty low subject requirement to enrol, and from there I studied curation and…… uhh, you don’t really know what that is huh. Hmm. Since your way of speaking is so mature, I keep forgetting I need to explain myself properly……

Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.

Mikoto: No, not really…? I mean, I could do the bare minimum needed to pass the entrance exam though. Even though it’s called an arts uni, there’s still subjects where you don’t need to draw at all. I’m the sort of person who tries to be efficient, so I worked backwards from the job I wanted to get into and chose to study subjects like direction and management~ ……ah, I’ve done it again……

No one has to look too far into the portal timeline to see Mikoto's communication style on full display,

20/05/25

Mikoto: ……I’ve really got caught up in some trouble, huh. What even is this place? It’s probably a TV reality show or something. ……but to think someone in this day and age would try to do a project that could land them in so much trouble. Uh……

Mahiru: Ah…… I’m Shina Mahiru! You can just call me Mahiru. And you are……?

Mikoto: Kayano Mikoto. I’m fine with just Mikoto too. Ahh, I’m glad there’s someone here who’s easy to talk to…… It’s nice to meet you, Mappy.

Mahiru: ………… ……Mappy???

20/05/31

Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……?

Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time?

Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is……

Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

20/06/05

Haruka: Ah…… ah, u-um, Mikoto-san. The c-communication……? thing, that you were saying was important. I-I thought, I’d give it my best…… Um, so, Mikoto-san, what’s your favourite food……?

Mikoto: Ooh? Nice going, Haru-kun~ Yeah, we still have no idea how long this lifestyle will go on for, so it’s best if we all get along together here. My favourite food…… I like pasta and horse-meat sashimi. Also bubble tea, and recently I’ve been big on custard puddings. What about you?

Haruka: ……ah, I, I wonder…… H-hamburg steak, and omurice, a-and also…… what else? Ah. Cotton candy……

Mikoto: C-cotton candy!? That’s the first time I’ve met someone who has that in their top three favourites!? ……man, Haru-kun, you really are hilarious.

20/06/15

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.

Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross.

Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right?

Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

20/06/20

Mikoto: ……oh, so you are here after all. Shidou-san, are you free? Let’s chat~

Shidou: ! Ah, just give me a moment…… Um…… I don’t mind talking, but you didn’t need to come over while I was smoking. Are you sure it isn’t too smoky for you? You’re not a smoker, right, Kayano-kun?

Mikoto: Ah, you don’t need to put it out! That’d be such a waste! I smoke too occasionally. Though just vape. Like, the smoking room is a really good spot for communication, right? So I thought now might be a good opportunity to talk with you. Not like I have anything else to do. By the way, I’ve been wondering for a while, but do you always wear those gloves?

Shidou: I don’t…… How to put it…… I suppose…… since I have my hands covered all the time, then when I take them off, it feels as though the feeling in my fingertips is even greater…… I know it’s probably all in my head…… but that’s how it feels.

20/07/01

Mikoto: Hey, hey, Koto-chan. I’ve been thinking this ever since I first heard your name, but don’t you think the names “Mikoto” and “Kotoko” kinda sound like siblings?

Kotoko: No.

Mikoto: Don’t say that! Let’s get along well from here on as the Koto-Koto combo!

Kotoko: I’m not doing that.

Q.14  Are there any prisoners you don’t get on with?

Kotoko: Mikoto. He’s loud and bothersome.

At the beginning of Milgram Mikoto speaks quickly. In bursts that make it difficult for others to keep up and get a word in edgewise. He usually starts conversations with greetings, statements or questions and when he starts he doesn't stop. He's a very active communicator and is shown to carry most conversations he's in early on even when the other party isn't giving him much to work with.

Over the course of trial one he gets quieter more reserved and standoffish. More than likely due to his verdict.

Q.07 Are there any prisoners you get along with?

Shidou: Kayano-kun has become like that, and I can’t spend my time smoking at the moment, so the smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.

20/06/20

Shidou-san, are you free? Let’s chat~/ The smoking room is a really good spot for communication, right?

22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday)

Haruka: Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……?

Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……?

Haruka: Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you. I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly……

Mikoto: Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself…… haha. Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

Kayano-kun has become like that. The smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.

In contrast Shidou isn't a proactive communicator. He doesn't really go into conversations often. Usually being the one approached by others within the timeline or in the middle of engaging with someone already.

He's never really gone out of his way to approach someone to talk to them. He's reserved, quiet, and more likely to be viewed as the sort always in their own head.

His first timeline interaction shows this off pretty well,

20/05/26

Kazui: Ahh, this old man’s gonna go and smoke in the corner a bit. I checked with the guard, and apparently we can use our free time however we want. Man, I’m glad this place is so relaxed.

Shidou: ……! Are…… we allowed to smoke……?

Kazui: Huh…… Shidou-kun, was it? You smoke too? That’s kinda unexpected.

Shidou: Ah, yes. ……I only started fairly recently though. I’ll go with you…… to smoke.

Futa: Ahh, those old men really stink of tobacco. Are they idiots or something? They should know better at that age…… If they really can’t cope without relying on something like that then I worry about their sanity.

Yuno: ……it doesn’t really matter does it? They’re making sure they’re staying far away from the people who don’t smoke. Personally I quite like the smell anyway.

Futa: Huh!? What are you talking about? It means you’re more likely to get sick, it costs money, it’s a nuisance for everyone around you, what’s even the point. Our tax money is being wasted going towards paying for that, you know? If you were really smart, you’d know not to smoke at all!

Yuno: I see~

Shidou's quiet display of shock juxtaposing Futa's overt display of contempt. Meanwhile Yuno's questioning of Futa's statements parallels Kazui's questioning and mild judgmental response to Shidou smoking. Showcasing their different communications styles and how they handle unexpected conflict of information.

Yuno's tendency to go if it's not bothering her then it doesn't matter. The allusion to Kazui's vigilance. The fact that he's been watching everyone to make sure there's an opening. Possibly from what he saw of Shidou concluding he didn't smoke and already having Shidou's name noted despite this appearing to be the first time they're speaking.

Futa complaining about the ways in which individuals impact the whole group through their actions regardless of if it directly impacts him or not. As well as Shidou's slow uncertain way of speaking that in this timeline is a bit similar to how Haruka's dialogue is written.

Though the difference is Haruka's dialogue is written in a way to imply anxiety while Shidou's is written in a way that implies he's thinking over his next statemenet.

Something that becomes more clear in the next timeline he's in,

20/06/02

Yuno: Shidou-san, apparently if you send a request to the guard, they’ll provide us with any basic necessities we require. Apparently we can even get some more luxury items to an extent. Is there anything you want?

Shidou: Kashiki-kun…… I wonder why Es-kun is giving all of us that much freedom. It’s obvious that this isn’t just a normal prison, but even taking that into account this is so far removed from what you’d expect from confinement. Don’t you think it’s strange?

Yuno: Hmm. I mean, I think I kinda get why, though. I mean like, if people just get to spend time as they usually do, then I feel like their real personalities are more likely to come out. The guard wants to observe everything about us and then determine whether to forgive us or not, right? It’s not like they particularly want to lock us up or make us suffer. ……at least, not right now they don’t.

Shidou: ……I’m surprised. You’re a smart girl who’s very open-minded…… Those are wonderful traits to have. I see…… In which case, I wonder if I could ask for a box of cigarettes? I don’t want to be a burden, so I don’t mind if it’s the same brand as whatever Mukuhara-san is getting.

This timeline showcases that Shidou's main concern is not burdening anyone. To the extent that he's willing to get the same brand of cigarettes as Kazui if that makes things easier on the system that has imprisoned them or Es. Though he is curious about why that system is relaxed as it is.

His main concern is not being a bother to anyone which if we look back on his first timeline appearance was more than likely the reason for his hesitance there. He may not have wanted to bother or intrude on Kazui's smoking time. This alludes to the sort of communicator Shidou is a good deal.

Something that becomes even clearer when one picks up the pattern of his timeline interactions,

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall, and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right?

Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past.

Mahiru: Oh~? That’s not the sort of answer I’d expect from you. I’ve got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn’t resent you so much, right?

Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

In all of Shidou's first timeline interaction he is not the one to speak first. Shidou's first timeline interaction is the closest we get to him approaching someone else and that only seems to be because Kazui is the only one with cigarettes at that time as well as due to his suprise at the fact they're allowed to smoke here.

Yet in the timelines beyond that Shidou rarely begins and interaction himself. Instead he is usually approached, in the middle of a task with someone already, or has a very clear purpose when he communicates with someone.

Shidou is the sort of person who needs to be invited to speak. This is why having the smoking group was helpful for him and why he feels a bit lonely now. It was good for someone like him who worries about being a bother as well as the appropriate time to speak to have a social gathering where he can partake in an interest of his while speaking with others.

The smoking room is a really good spot for communication, right? - The smoking trio has disbanded, which is a bit lonely.

There are only a few times where Shidou approaches others himself and those times are telling in my opinion,

20/06/17

Shidou: ……do you mind if we talk? It seems you’ve relaxed a bit more recently, Kusunoki-kun.

Mu: Eh…… yeah, definitely compared to the start…… just a bit. But I’m still scared…… we still don’t know what they might do to us. I want to go home soon…… I wonder what’s happening there…… Papa and Mama must be really worried……

Shidou: That’s good…… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you. ……yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I…… hope you can go back soon.

Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me……? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were…… a scary person…… fufu.

Shidou starts this conversation with Mu by asking if she minds if they talk. Showing again that he feels he needs permission to speak or as put in throw down something that tells him,

"Tock-tock… tells me, the reason it’s ok to be here."

He approached Mu mainly because he recognized that she was upset and wanted to check in on her. His concern towards how she was doing outweighed his concern of being a bother so he approached her. It's followed up on later why Mu had the impression that Shidou was a scary person.

The other time he approaches someone is due to concern as well.

20/07/03

Shidou: Sakurai-kun……? Show me your hand.

Haruka: Heh!? No, I…… There’s, n-n-nothing wrong.

Shidou: Show me. ……the palm of your hand is bleeding. I’ll have to disinfect it. Does this always happen……?

Haruka: A-ah…… It’s, j-just a habit…… I-if I’m nervous, I grip my hands, too hard, so my nails……

Again continuing this thing of him only approaching others when he has an expressed purpose or reason to. He does the same with Futa literally talking to him just to see if Futa would take the food he dislikes from him.

20/07/11

Shidou: ……Kajiyama-kun, um…… do you happen to like natto?

Futa: Huh? I don’t particularly care for it one way or the other… Hah, what, are you not able to eat it? So even an adult like you who seems so composed all the time still has a pathetic side.

Shidou: ……I’m not really like that. ……that’s just what it is to be an adult. When I think back…… I don’t think much about me has changed since I was around your age. Getting older…… it doesn’t mean something drastic is going to change about you.

Futa: ……what a depressing outlook…… Well, guess it can’t be helped. Here, I’ll give you my boiled spinach in return. Be grateful.

Then again with Yuno to check how the song extraction works before going to his first interrogation,

20/12/11 (Shidou’s First Trial)

Shidou: ……Kashiki-kun, what sort of thing does it actually mean by “extracting mental images”?

Yuno: Ah, right, you’re going in for it now aren’t you. Have a nice trip. What sort of thing…… what sort of thing…… Hmm, I don’t actually remember anything after the first part. Talking with the guard was fun, though.

Shidou: I see……? That…… does sound like fun. Well, I’ll be off now.

Yuno: Ok, see you! ……hmm. So even he can smile like that sometimes.

Over the course of Milgram he does talk to people more. His relationship with Kotoko has been pretty interesting. Since Kotoko seems to get on fine with him but Shidou seems iffy about her.

20/06/25

Kotoko: ……Shidou, right? I’ve been watching your actions for a while, and I’m curious. You’re always extremely calm, and your expression never changes. Do you know something about this place?

Shidou: No, I know nothing. ……I’ve never really had an expressive face. Despite appearances, I am quite shaken by this. But…… if I do look calm, as you say…… then I suppose it’s because I don’t particularly dislike it. This place……

Kotoko: Hmm, is that so. ……what a coincidence. I don’t particularly dislike it here either.

Shidou: I think…… that our reasons are probably different. ……from where I’m looking, you’re not particularly normal either, Yuzuriha-kun.

Even going as far to assume she couldn't have come to wish him happy birthday and must be there for something else,

21/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Shidou: ……oh, Yuzuriha-kun. It’s unusual so see you around this early. Wishing me a happy birthday…… probably isn’t the what you’re here for, huh.

Kotoko: No, it is. Happy birthday, Shidou. Though it’s not like I bought you a present or anything. But while I’m here, I’d also like to ask you something. Has anything changed for you recently? Having nightmares, hearing voices, feeling anxious…… anything like that.

Shidou: Not especially, no. ……ah, so this is about how Kajiyama-kun and Shiina-kun have been strange recently? And she’s been trying to hide it, but Amane too…… We’ve been living in these conditions for a while…… it’s not unusual for there to be an impact on us mentally. Are you worried about them? You’re a very caring person.

Kotoko: Hmm, so you noticed? If nothing’s wrong with you, then that’s good. ……if I’ve understood properly, that means you’re safe…… Once again, happy birthday, Kirisaki Shidou.

Then despite her going no that's totally why I'm here him still being pretty certain that's not why she's here. Going as far to say,

"ah, so this is about how Kajiyama-kun and Shiina-kun have been strange recently? And she’s been trying to hide it, but Amane too……"

That's what this is really about. I understand how considerate of you. Because he is under zero impression she'd come all the way to where he is so early in the day for just that. Not even touching on the fact he looked at her and went yeah I think we both don't dislike being here for completely separate reasons and you're not particularly normal either.

Not even touching on Kotoko finding him appearing calm being another case of girl what about you. Like Kotoko really you don't have one leg to stand on here you both look stoic and are taking this calmly. Like miss what about you, what about you?! What do you know.

Mostly we're pointing this all out to showcase that Shidou doesn't approach people to talk often. He usually uses whatever he's in the middle of as a good excuse to hold a conversation, has an expressed purpose for approaching someone, or is spoken to first.

This is illustrated well through this interaction,

23/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kazui: Hey, it’s been a while since we last talked. You’ve been working hard lately. Are you doing ok? Should I give you a shoulder massage?

Shidou: ……no, there’s no need to worry. You’re surely on edge at the moment too, after all, Mukuhara-san. Since I’ve been devoting my time to Shiina-kun, I haven’t had time to help with the rest of the prison. Sorry for leaving everything to you.

Kazui: No, it’s fine. I haven’t done anything really. ……you take on too much responsibility on your own. Make sure you rest a bit too. Oh, that’s right, today’s my birthday. So how about you join me for a smoke? As a present.

Shidou: ……I guess it’s precisely because we’re in this situation that things like that are necessary too. Happy birthday. I’ll join you. Can you lend me a cigarette?

Kazui uses all the mannerisms of Shidou's that we've discussed here to invite him to take a moment away from his duties to partake in that hobby he's admitted to missing out on since things changed. Kazui and possibly other prisoners recognize Shidou's communication style and this interaction displays how Kazui in particular works around it.

Kazui recognizes that Shidou needs a break and more than likely hasn't had much time to smoke due to taking care of Mahiru. So him making this offer can be considered killing two birds with one stone. He presents Shidou a convenient excuse to do something he's been missing out on and Shidou is happy to oblige. It would be more impolite to refuse after all.

This conversation works to mirror their first one. Ending with Shidou asking if Kazui can lend him a cigarette. Something he'd have to do when he first joined him to smoke as well. Since he hadn't gotten any yet himself.

Shidou isn't a poor communicator he's a reluctant one. His reluctance creates this impression that what he's doing is something he's uncertain about or doesn't wish to do. When in fact yeah he wanted to go smoke with Kazui. He'd been lamenting about the smoking group breaking up and not being able to do what they'd been doing anymore.

Yet, again-

"There’s no meaning in it, yes and no, it doesn't matter. It’s all how you say it."

If Shidou was really concerned with helping Mahiru he could have turned Kazui down. Just as Kazui had done with him before,

22/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Kazui: What’s up, Shidou-kun? You’re looking pretty down. I guess you must be tired, I’ve been relying on you a lot lately.

Shidou: Yeah, I just remembered…… today is Amane’s birthday. I’m just getting a bit sentimental.

Kazui: Hmm, it’s unfortunate, but at the moment we can’t worry about that. ……you understand, right? There’s something that you need to do right now. And if you tried talking to her your words definitely won’t reach her. Don’t look at me like that. We’ll just wait until the situation changes. Let’s do our best.

Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that. Even though we’re “murderers”…… we’re also the adults here.

Like Kazui would have understood Shidou needing to prioritize. He told the man to do that previously. It's not as though Mahiru is any less injured here given his statement on her. Yet, Shidou treats this moment as just as important as taking care of her stating,

"It’s precisely because we’re in this situation that things like that are necessary too."

Right after the jumpings

Mahiru: Ugh it hurts so bad....

Shidou: Maybe Amane will have some cake this year...

Mahiru: ???

Shidou: Chocolate no maybe red velvet... Ah, try not to move to much.

Mahiru: ... Shidou-san Amane doesn't like sweets.

Shidou: Shhh shh Shiina-kun that's the delirium talking all kids love sweets. Especially on their birthdays what's a birthday without cake?

Later

Shidou: I've been so busy taking care of Mahiru...

Mahiru: Oh god why does it still hurt so much?!

Shidou: She needs a lot of care and attention.

Yuno: It's alright I'm here take this-

Mahiru: than-thank you-

Shidou: But birthdays are still important if not more so. Times like these are precious-

Mahiru: Guh- oh fuck will I even make it to my next birthday?!

Shidou: Exactly Shiina-kun you understand. Let's go have that smoke Mukuhara-san.

Kazui: ...

Kazui when Shidou commits malpractice through negligence,

Shidou: Can you lend me a cigarette.

Kazui: Sure.

There is absolutely nothing funnier that Shidou could do on his birthday that will top everything he's done while here. This man has been ridiculous and continues to get away with it. Good on him honestly. It wasn't a hard bar to clear but some people still failed to get innocent trial one and trial two.

So, here's to going on another year of him getting away with it. Part of the top three innocent prisoners one of the only ones to be innocent twice. Shidou, Yuno, and Kazui double innocent, two times in a row. The only three and regardless of what happens next trial that's not gonna change.

[lonelychicago]

tagged by the lovelies @spotsandsocks @giddyupbuck @daffi-990 @wikiangela @exhuastedpigeon @buckaroosheart @eowon @evanbegins thank u!

this friday i said fuck it and started the ballad of songbirds and snakes buddie au i've been wanting to write since i saw the movie. (eddie will be nothing like snow, i promise. he's more like sejanus plinth) (also what does suzanne collins have with naming her characters with anus lmao)

here's a moodboard!

and a lil snippet (it's literally all i've written so far) <33

For the first time since the games were created the tributes would be assigned mentors. Twenty-four of the Academy’s best and brightest seniors have been tapped for the job.

Eddie fantasizes for a few seconds about refusing.

He knows it wouldn't help the tributes, though. The peacekeepers would most definitely drag him out and beat the shit out of him or— Eddie isn't sure if it would be possible but the president might want to make an example out of him and throw him into the arena along with all the other tributes. So, he stays silent and lets the guilt consume him. “And last but least, District Twelve girl, Maddie Buckley. . . she belongs to Eddie Diaz.” Eddie looks up to see a terrified girl— she couldn't be older than eighteen, this probably was her last year with her name in the reaping, what are the odds. She looks a little worn down, with some dirt on her cheek and what looks like an almost faded black eye. Her lips are visibly trembling as she takes slow steps towards the stage. And then—

"Stop! Stop!" A voice breaks through the thick silence and hands appear from the crowd. A few seconds later a boy is running towards the girl, being stopped by peacekeepers just seconds before he can reach her. "Maddie! Maddie!"

He has dirty blonde hair and eyes so wide and a dark blue that reminds Eddie of a relentless, force of nature, kind of storm. He looks a little skinny but Eddie gets glimpses of muscles under the two sizes too big shirt he's wearing when the officers pull him back and the piece of clothing stretches against the guy's chest.

The boy keeps screaming, his voice becoming hoarse, breaking everytime he speaks. "I volunteer! Let me volunteer!" The boy keeps fighting against the peacekeepers and the girl is now being held back but her arms are stretched out and reaching for him.

"Can he do that?" Chimney leans in, whispering so only Eddie can hear. "Can there be two boys as tributes?"

Eddie can't look away from the screen. He sees one of the peacekeepers punch the boy but that doesn't even deter him in the slightest.

"I'm not sure. I mean, maybe?" He frowns. "I guess the Capitol only needs kids to kill each other. Why does it matter if they're a boy or a girl, right?" He wouldn't be able to stop the bitterness and anger from slipping into his voice even if he tried. "Yeah,I guess you're right." Eddie watches as his dad and Jeffery Hudson, the creator of the games, talk in hushed whispers. It feels like an eternity until the cameras focus back on district 12.

"After careful consideration, we've decided to accept this boy's eager willingness and embrace him into the 10th Hunger Games." The announcer says. "District Twelve boy, Evan Buckley… belongs to Eddie Diaz. May the odds be ever in your favor."

tagging (no pressure): @monsterrae1 @hoodie-buck @buddierights @hippolotamus @maygrantgf @underwater-ninja-13 @honestlydarkprincess @bigfootsmom @spaceprincessem @eddiebabygirldiaz @the-likesofus @wildlife4life @jamespearce9-1-1 @watchyourbuck @malewifediaz @thewolvesof1998 @fortheloveofbuddie @weewootruck @prettyboybuckley @rogerzsteven @jeeyuns @rainbow-nerdss @911-on-abc @housewifebuck @disasterbuckdiaz @athenagranted @tails89 @messyhairdiaz and anyone else who wants to do it <333

[i-professional-procrastinator]

It's really funny how Gale clearly has more haters than Snow.

It's strange how Snow has sympathizers even. Don't get me wrong, I love him, he's so well written and I thank Suzanne Collins' pen everyday but being a great character doesn't make him a good character...? Tom blyth did an excellent job and I have nothing but love for him. But people act like his Snow and Donald Sutherland's Snow are two different people. I personally don't think Snow had an ounce of goodness in him, or anything to question his fucked morals. That man made deliberate choices. He took the wrong actions on purpose. He chose himself over doing the right thing each time. Sure he was shaken up by Sejanus' death or killing for the first time in the arena (remember though, that made him feel powerful, that says a lot), but that didn't stop him from choosing to do that again. He got worse with time. He was always evil just not accustomed to the consequences I guess? There's not a lot of gray area when it comes to Coriolanus Snow. The sympathizers (there are SO MANY on twitter) often forget that Tigris went through the same things and still chose to be better. Snow was always a terrible person. I can't think of a suitable way to add his inner monologue to the movie but honestly that would have helped immensely because HIS THOUGHTS ARE ALWAYS INSANE and give so much insight into his growth...from a bad person to a far worse person.

Gale on the other hand is a product of war. War has no winners and Gale is the prime example of that. Sure he fought for the "right side", he fought for his people, he fought to save lives but that's didn't protect him from getting innocent blood on his hands. Gale also took the "wrong" actions I guess but unlike Snow, I don't think he had a choice. As Katniss said he's fire, like her. He fought because there was no other option, and he went in with all his heat. He got burned too. He lost a lot, putting aside Katniss, the PTSD and the trauma. He deserves to get shit for killing civilians but there was a lot behind that awful step than just "Gale evil, Gale wanted people (read Prim, most of the fandom would not have cared if it wasn't Prim but that's a topic for another day) dead."

Gale is a far more complex person than Snow (I didn't say character because I'm not talking about writing, ofc the villain is better written than a supporting character ) and he deserves respect for that. I think the early/mid 2010s shipping wars did a lot of damage to his rep. And all this is coming from an everlark shipper so just think about it for a second.

Ignore typos it's 3:31 AM. Thank you for coming to my Ted-Talk. I do not respond well to constructive criticism.

[pandoraroid]

The Pack Wedding 💥💥💥💗💥

reaction rambles bc yes

please keep in mind this is meant to be lighthearted i love these men with all my heart n life n soul

THIS IS 43 MINUTES IM SO SCARED WHY CANT I PRESS THE VIDEO this is too much nervousness for seven in the morning im dead

DAVEEEYYYYY HIIIIIII GMORNING MWAAAA

"it's the pack everything's gonna go crazy." bro it's the SHAW pack what does that say about you hm 🤔 /j i love you david 

"reception's gonna be a solstice party on steriods" I SNORTED SO DAMN LOUD 😭

now should be a good time to say that part of the reason why i like redacted so much is because it's so funny and lines like that do it for me every single time.

"i love you angel so very much" BOOGSH 💥 im so in love with you david shaw 

i think bro's in love with us guys idk 

"beautiful... you.." NO YOU 🫵 david we are not doing this back in forth in the morning JUST ACCEPT IT

he's triggering my cuteness/love aggression SO FUCKING SAPPY I LUV U MWAH

"you fucking menace c'mere" HIS LAUGH OMFG GOOD FUCKINH MORNINGGGG

IS ASHER NEXT PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NEXT 

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

"oh fuck it's the day" me just this morning

"asher breathe we're good you've been training for this your whole life" ELABORATE???? id love to know how exactly youve been training for this asher

"it's our wedding day. holy shit it's our wedding day. i'm gonna be a husband." KILLL MEEE RIGHT NOW I CAN HEAR HIM SMILEEE OMFG WEAR THAT SHIT WITH PRIDE ASHER

"i've always been husband material look at what we're working with" KILL ME RIGHT NOW /pos baabe smacking him though HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

id kiss you for the rest of my life asher

laughing against/while kissing THIS MAN WANTS ME DEAD

"say how much time do we have before we meet everybody in the lobby" LET THEM FUCKING WAIT

MILO AND SAM???? OH MY GOD???? (should go without fucking saying but... drive safe..... please...)

in my head: sam is driving. david's shotgun. ash & milo are in the back. just because. >> BRO I WAS RIGHT????

darlin driving in another car with the other mates??? that... isnt what i think it is.... is it......

david sounds so tired of their bs HAHAHA "rounded out with a little traditional opinion from them of all people" DARLIN FIGHT BACK

"hey we're fun too, right?" ASHER PLEASE

"well let's see: we've got a grouchy grandpa drivin us-" 

"hey." 

"at least he didn't call you cowboy." BRO

"now don't you start." 

"and we got the grumpy alpha."

"i'm not grumpy. just preoccupied."

"right. right." bros didnt even try to sound convinced

"we're fun." 

"asher. we spent your bachelor party playing destiny 2." 

"and smash!" 

"oh my mistake."

this entire conversation. peak.

"i dont even wanna imagine what chaos those four are getting up to piled in one vehicle." OH WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO SAM 

DEAD ASS SILENCE I LOVE IT i cant fycking breathe this is too funny.

in my head, they were definitely arguing over directions. or darlin's driving, or making fun of the other car.

wait darlin what

"or you'll likely end up staring down the maw of my own beautiful mate-" SAMUEL COLLINS

"oh move it mr. wedding day" WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO GOOD

"and fix your hair."

"it's suppose to look like this!"

"are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?" BRO NOT ON HIS WEDDING DAY 💀

sam encouraging milo omgomg

"you talk more than anyone i know. and i know asher." AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

"is my tie on straight?" 

"is it ever?" is the one wearing it straight /jjjj

david helping him with his tie someone kill me right now

GABE'S CHILI RECIPE WHAT

"why did you pick me?" OH SHIT

i seriously just listened and payed attention to their conversation so no thoughts head empty only them

"what really mattered in a beta was having a person that was the other side of your coin."

"i picked you because you were the one person i trusted more than anyone else. you made me feel safe at a time more than i couldve explained. you were everything i wasnt. where i was distant you were outgoing. where i was rough you were warm. where i was analytical you were intuitive. you're the other side of my coin. you always have been. so it never mattered to me what anyone else thought of what i needed in a beta because they didnt know me. i did. you did. and i needed the person that was right for me not for anybody else."

i couldve typed out everything david said but THIS!!!! I WAS SOBBING!!!! THEY ARE THE OTHER SIDE OF OTHER'S COIN NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!! their vows to each other fr

this is wrecking me THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

"you're too hard on yourself too."

"well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" the range of friendship everyone 

THEYRE HOLDING BACK TEARS IN THIS ONE TRUST ME 

my heart felt so heavy in this WHY

"i think you're the best fucking beta i could have ever asked for. i think you're the besy friend i could have ever asked for. i deserved most of the time."

aaaanndd got heavier 😁

GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG

"i just feel bad that i'm going to be up there looking this good y'know people are going to get confused on whose wedding day it really is." EAT EM UP SWEETHEART (i meant milo but them too ofc)

"do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" HAHSHAHAHAHHA THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

"i love you milo"

"i love you too asshole" CRYING 

"thank you for doing this milo"

"i got you. always." ALWAYS.

CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY 

"when i was asked by my friends to officiate their unions, i only had one question for them: how much does it pay?" ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

im really listening on this part so head empty.

oohh asher (i think it's asher) laughing through baabe's vows IS SO SWEET I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL

OH DAVID GETTING CHOKED UP ON ANGEL'S VOWS KILL ME

"you're the best part of me. and i'll spend the rest of our lives showing that i'm worthy of that." oh david shaw you dont even have to try

"i now pronounce you all married the-the pairs of you to each other not all together" OH THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO LET HIM LIVE THAT DOWN

THE KISSES OMMMGGGKFHEKHEJSS 

CONGRATULATIONS ANGEL & DAVID

CONGRATUALTIONS BABE & ASHER MWAAAAAAAAHH TO ALL OF YOUUU

[likeabitchylamb]

i'm gonna ramble about my favorite characters in supernatural because it changes so much as the show goes on and each character is different in each season and with each writer. Like, Sam in the early seasons with the demon blood, his brand of daddy issues, his trying to be good but everyone including heaven is telling him he's nothing more than a demon blood-drinking vessel of Lucifer, and he'll sacrifice himself to save the world and stop the apocolapse. oh my god i think about that every five minutes. he's just a long, shaggy-haired, too-tall, and too-kind young man. he sees the best in everyone, and tries to redeem monsters when he can because if he can save them, he can save himself, right? and later on I think about the soulless sam and hallucinating lucifer and the ramifications of being in the cage for so long, and all that so often. but then... idk he has his moments from time to time, but it felt like his character finished and just needed a woman to pair off with because TV character arcs always end with characters marrying, but he didn't even properly get that? he married an off-screen woman after his actual love interest DIED!

then we get dean, who started out as the typical beer-loving cool womanizer dude who loves his family, his car, and hunting things. then he gets broken down as the show goes on into exploring his daddy issues, and it was never something i really fully loved until later on, mostly because the show was always so insistent on keeping his Cool Status at first. then he did and it was always so good. but the show always put a beer back in his hand, a gun in his pocket, and I always left the season feeling like there was more to be explored. he can yell, scream, and cry, but he was never allowed to truly grow from those experiences. he died a hunter, after explicitly showing that was the last thing he wanted.

casiel. oh my god i love castiel. he very quickly became my favorite character above sam with his lack of understanding social queues and his relationship with heaven. ohhhhhh my GOD his relationship with heaven. that scene at the bench where he's begging for clarification and a sign and for god to talk to him????? I'm sobbing. at times i felt like his character's arcs were forced, or his arc was too quick, or off-screen, but that's a by-product of the studio keeping him as a side character so misha had a max number of episodes to show up in. i really hate not seeing "starring: misha collins" because misha really is the heart of the character. just like everyone, but especially misha. he kept castiel around and brought him to life beyond what was expected and that was how it was from day fucking one of his portrayal. oh my god.

also, adam! because his bitterness and spite and hatred always felt So Real. imagine you're him, and your dad travels for his job, but comes to baseball games and he's nice and all. then he disappears and suddenly two men, kinda older than you, show up saying all sorts of crazy shit. they're your father's children from his first marriage before his wife died when they were super young -what?- and his job was hunting monsters -what the fuck?- and you're actually a dark secret in his life and they are fucking pissed cause he was such a shit dad to him -what the FUCK?- oh, and he's dead, killed by a demon -what the actual FUCK- then you get possessed by -get this- the archangel Michael and before you can even begin to properly process that angels exist and the apocolapse is happening because you're still reeling over the fact that your dad was a deadbeat to his two other children who were raised to hunt monsters and your family was like a vacation getaway for him so he can pretend to be normal instead of raising his two other children properly, but you can't think about THAT because oh my god sam took control of lucifer and dragged you and Michael, btw in the same body, down to the hell. but not normal hell, oh no, this is the cage where time is so much faster and you're there for hundreds of years and lucifer is torturing sam and it's awful and you're stuck there with Michael and wow, did he ever say goodbye to his mom (note: i forget if his mom is even alive or talked about, but i assume so) Then you get brought back, and of COURSE YOU HATE EVERYONE!!!

[buk-kakyoin]

Magnus Protocol Theory —

(Spoilers up to ep. 5)

I think I've figured out the catch of OIAR staff being able to "quit at any time"

It's not immediately obvious why they can't quit the same way it was in TMA because, well, Teddy quits in the first episode! And he seems quite content with fucking off from the OIAR and never coming back, but he has this exchange with Collin:

TEDDY Colin, mate, you know you’re never getting out of here. COLIN Christ, don’t say that. TEDDY Even if his nibs lets you off the hook, which he won’t, you couldn’t bring yourself to just leave. Not 'til you’ve figured out all these fun little errors. COLIN Or they finally kill me. TEDDY I mean, sure, that too.

What do they know that we don't?

Bear with me on this one, but I suspect it has to do with how the Fears function in this world. I've been seeing quite a few theories floating around saying that the Fears in this world are more likely tied to Desire and I think they're right.

Every story so far has been driven by some kind of want or yearn or need—the yearn to hear a dead lover's voice, the need to understand why a place is marked "cleared," the desire to look different, the need to hide from the repercussion of your actions, the hunger for recognition as the best, the itch to feel real fear. Every time, the supernatural experiences commence after a desire(or obsession) is expressed, and every desire is granted in the most fucked up Monkey's Paw way possible.

How does this apply to our merry band of fucked up civil servants? Why are they still here?

Well, Collin's not gonna quit until he makes sense of the computers, and we're already seeing the negative effects this obsession has on him. Gwen wants Lena's job and to be the best of the department (and possible something else that we're not privy to yet). Sam wants answers to whatever the fuck is wrong with the OIAR/their cases and likely has some personal obsessions involved (*cough cough*the Magnus Protocol*cough cough*)

Alice is a bit of an outlier since she doesn't have any obvious "wants" that we've seen, but she seems way more conscious of what this job does to people than the others. From telling Sam to report Collin's behavior to telling Same this:

ALICE I wasn’t messing with you earlier, you do need to compartmentalize for this job. Make a box in your head and at the end of the shift you dump everything in there and hit the incinerate button okay? You do not want to be thinking about this stuff outside of here. It’s not good for you. I’ve seen people go weird before now.

Alice seems to at least somewhat understand what's going on—she's seen people go "weird" and knows that getting obsessed is dangerous, which is why she herself tries to stay as separate from the work as possible, tells Sam to do the same, and why I suspect she tries to have Collin reported(to keep him from sinking any deeper). But I suspect Alice is ensnared in her own way, possibly by the brother she keeps fielding calls from at work.

It's not a whole lot to go off of yet, but she keeps referencing her next paycheck while talking to him and overall implies than her brother musical career is unsuccessful but that it might turn around soon. Maybe she stays working there because she wants to support herself and support her brother's career?

Tl;dr the fears in his world are based in desires and obsession. Technically, anyone can quit the OIAR and they do—so long as they don't get obsessed. And if they do get obsessed, they won't stop until they either get what they want or, as Collin said, they die.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

I really enjoyed Mark Russell's Flintstones comic, which was pretty in-your-face satire, but still gave the characters some heart, so I'm willing to give his X-Factor a chance. That being said:

Gee, I'm sooooo glad we're back to pointlessly killing off D-List mutants after Krakoa did the work of putting everyone back on the table for writers to use, it's definitely my favorite part of the X-Books and not a creatively bankrupt waste or anything. I know people might say, "There's too many mutants," or "Who cares about Rusty Collins?" But despite there already being too many mutants for people to use, writers keep adding more (even this book has like three new characters), and every character is someone's favorite.

I don't even particularly like Rusty, he was one of those characters that never caught on for me. I thought his personality was bland, and even back when he was first introduced I thought being "just" a pyrokinetic was boring (at least characters like Pyro and Magma had some unique aspect to their "fire" powers). But damn, I feel so sorry for any Rusty fans out there, he was dead for decades, he was barely there in Krakoa, and now he gets killed off one issue into X-Factor. I still have some hope for Feral, though, given that some of the team is "clinging to life."

I don't know how much, if any of the characters history Russell is aware of. He at least knows that Rusty was part of the original X-Factor, so there's that. Too bad Rusty is dead again. I really don't know what Frenzy and Cecelia are doing on this team. I could believe it of Pyro, since he already served on Freedom Force, and was only too happy to attack his fellow mutants while on the government payroll. Still, I'd expect him to have a more realistic and cynical attitude about the new X-Factor, given that Freedom Force ended with him and Blob abandoned to die, and the US government not giving a shit. But then, that would require actually engaging with the character's history which neither Russell nor Duggan seemed interested in doing.

Pyro's new characterization seems to be "party idiot." I can't say I completely mind, Duggan's Pyro was at least a "fun" version of the character, but this is the second time now Pyro's been a cast member for an X-Book, is it too much to ask that a writer actually take him seriously? I don't even mean "make him a badass," I mean give us some actual crumbs of character development, even if he's still mostly comic relief. The dude died saving Senator Kelly after a long, lingering terminal illness, and no one wants to address that? Like, at all?

Good question, Pyro, what IS Cecelia doing there? She was always one of the more reluctant X-Men who was more interested in being a doctor, how was she talked into this? Also, Pyro, your last direct interaction with Cecelia was when you betrayed her and got her fired after she saved your life treating your bullet wounds, you've got a lot of nerve flirting with her. I am reluctantly accepting that Pyro is basically being written as "straight" now, given that the "gay Pyro" storyline was stolen out from under him by bland replacement Simon "No one asked for this fucking character to exist" Lasker. Deeply bitter that the Pyro who got to canonically fulfill our movie-verse Allerdrake fantasies wasn't even the right Pyro.

Speaking of which, it would actually be a very funny meta-joke if Pyro gets killed off and immediately replaced by Pyro II/Simon, but if that actually happens I will absolutely start biting people. I waited decades for my fave to come back, do NOT take him away again, Mark Russell.

Also wondering how Pyro got the second-in-command gig. Was it just a stupid decision by corporate guy who doesn't understand how the team should function, or is there something sinister going on, like Pyro is more willing to toe the corporate line? Also, shut up, Alex, Pyro was actually doing some good with the Marauders while you were on the "fucked-up remedial last-chance" Hellions team

Like I said, I am willing to give this book a chance, and see what Russell does with it, but he's already shown he's willing to throw characters into the meat-grinder. I don't mind satire and a good story, but I also actually LIKE the characters. I like Pyro and Cecelia and Frenzy, I'd rather not see them twisted into satirical versions of themselves or abruptly killed off. I'd like to see their histories actually dealt with instead of jokes about Frenzy once working as a dog breeder. Despite the meta-commentary in the first issue about "the characters are interchangable, it's all about the story," in long-running comic series like X-Men, a lot of us actually DO care about the characters. That's what keeps us reading. Have fun with your story, Russell, but please don't break the toys.

I'm sure there's much more to say here about the writing for Havok and Polaris, but I'll let other people handle that, I'm mostly here for Pyro.

[therealmak]

INTRODUCTION

🖤𝑬𝑼𝑵𝑶𝑰𝑨🖤

"No one needs love as much as the ones who have nothing but only love to give."

"Thank you for loving me when I still tasted of heartache and war."

Emma Chamberlain as Chloe Noelle Monnier

"The Sweet Mama-To-Be🤰"

"In less than a year I had a beautiful baby and found epic love. I'm pretty sure I won the freaking lottery."

"What bothers me is that he was my husband and yet every day I had panic attacks, stomach aches, heart palpitations. I mean I went and got an EKG for my heart because I was stressed. My body was rejecting my marriage and I just never listened to it. The second it was over it all stopped."

"I mainly go to clubs because my friends and loves feed me. I also like to dance too, but food."

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Cole "Colby" Robert Brock

"The Protective One"

"I trust you with parts of myself I'm afraid to show to anyone else."

"Just let me protect you, take care of you, and hold you."

"We signed up for you, Chloe. We've done this shit completely backward from the beginning. We moved in with you before we started dating about two weeks ago. I don't care that you're pregnant with a baby that isn't mine, we want to be with you. Plus backward seems to be our thing, but Malia and I want to be here and want to be here with you and the baby."

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Malia Gee

"The Caring One"

"God you're so special. You're so fucking cute. Everything you say is so adorable."

"You do have a place, love. You have a place with me, Colby, the baby, and the rest of our chosen family. You are never alone in this."

"You can't let anything happen to her on the trip, Colby. It's scary enough when you go, and now Chloe is going with you."

———————————————————

✨𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑵 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀✨

"There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family."

"My circle is small but the love is enormous + genuine. It gets no better."

Samuel "Sam" John Golbach

"The Soul Brother"

"There is not a man or woman, no matter how fit he or she may be, who is capable of carrying the entire world on their shoulders. Not even you, Coco. Let us carry the weight together."

"I want you to be every bit of yourself. So if that's being super kind, loving, and chaotic then so be it."

"Chlo we brought tons of snacks and drinks, so, at any point in the investigations, you could snack if you need to."

💛💛💛💛

Katrina Stuart

"The Soul Sister"

"What baby and Chloe want, baby and Chloe get. So Sam just go get the fucking breadsticks for Coco!"

"Don't eat that it's super spicy. Omg Chlo, spit it out, spit it out!"

"Chloe, Colby just doesn't want you to worry like this. Ironically, you're worrying for him and he's worried for you."

💛💛💛💛

Anastasia "Stas" Siver

"The Future Sister-in-Law"

"Send me the measurements and I will find your maternity clothes."

"Aunt Stas is going to make sure baby wears the cutest things ever!"

"The upside to me dating your brother is that we might be sisters-in-law someday!"

💛💛💛💛

Nate Hardy

"Ride or Die"

"That baby is going to be spoiled rotten by Uncle Nate. You best believe that."

"You can't just disappear like that Bubba, Colby would kill me if you weren't next to me."

"I can't tell if Chloe is laughing or crying right now, I actually think it's both."

💛💛💛💛

Amanda Raye

"The Friendly Medium"

"You're like my sister, where you go, I go."

"If you think I'm going to let you hurt Chloe, you're out of your mind. You cannot touch her, you cannot hurt her, and you may not follow her."

"Oh, Chloe everybody sees the way you look at them."

💛💛💛💛

Kristina "Kris" Lee Halliwell Collins & Celina Myers

"The Partners in Crime"

"At the end of this pregnancy, Chloe is going to have a dead mouth and a beautiful baby."

"Auntie Kris and Auntie Celina are going to teach you how to be crazy like us."

"We have to stop before we make Coco pee herself."

💛💛💛💛

Tara Yummy & Jake Webber

"The Cool Aunt & Uncle"

"That punch was for Chloe, how dare you disrespect her like that."

"It"s Tara Yummy and I'm here with one of my favorite people in the world... Chloe Monnier!"

"So me and Chloe are officially going to start documenting our McDonald's runs. I think we'll call it Jake and Coco late-night adventures." 

——————————————————— 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑰𝑬𝑹 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝒀

"Family is more than blood, it is heart, it is the courage to be present in people's lives and to bear other people's burden."

Marion Cotillard as Isabelle Monnier

"💞Mama Bear🐻"

"Chloe, accepting help from others is hard, but what you made for yourself here is family. So your papa and I are moving to be closer to this family."

"I'm sorry sweetheart but I knew that Luca was no good for mon bébé."

"We tried our best to raise you both with an open heart and open mind. I'd say that me and Papa did a wonderful job."

💞💞💞💞

Vincent Cassel as Jean-Pierre Monnier

"💞Papa Bear🐻"

"That girl is too much like her mother sometimes, mon dieu."

"I like this Colby and Malia. In general, chéri, you've made wonderful friends yourself. It's a beautiful family."

"Mon petit-enfant, my gosh she looks just like you when you were a baby, Coco." 

💞💞💞💞

Timothée Chalamet as Gabriel Monnier

"💞Older Big Brother🙄"

"If I see him I'll hit him, as much as we fight you're my little sister." 

"I like Stas, like a lot. Coco, it would mean a lot if I could ask her out. Pretty please?" "Someday, I'm going to put a ring on Stas' finger and we'll fight whether you're my best woman or her maid of honor."

💞💞💞💞

Mae McKagan as Amèlie Monnier

"💞The Twin Sister🫀"

"Through every challenge, I stand firm, knowing my family needs me."

"Love is the legacy I want to pass down to Chloe's baby."

"Family isn't an important thing. It's everything."

———————————————————

Michele Morrone as Luca Silva

"The Ex-Husband"

"The world revolves around those who know how to spin it." 

"Chloe, people like me don't settle for anything less than perfection, including you." 

"In the grand scheme of things, Chloe, it's all about winning. And I've never been comfortable losing."

I DO NOT own any pictures or gifs they belong to their rightful owners. The pictures of clothes belong to SHEIN, CIDER, and ROMWE, not myself.

OTHER WARNINGS⚠️ -SAM AND KATRINA ARE TOGETHER IN THIS STORY (because I miss them and am still in denial. -CUSSING -SEXUAL CONTENT? -POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP (if you don't like it leave) -SENSITIVE SUBJECTS

[kawareo]

For no particular reason, what’s a line/song that reminds you of your durgestarion ship? Both pre- and post-tadpole since I haven’t decided on said no-particular reason.

Hi Novae :) Very excited for that no-particular reason 👀👀

If Shayfer James is my top Durgetash music, then Nico Collins is the one for the angsty disaster that are Durgestarion. Hate me is one I listened to a lot while writing Unsaved, and a lot of verses work for them (obviously Astarion's POV)

Got both feet on the edge Are you gonna come and save me? I'll take one final step All you have to do is make me

Damn you always get your way Guess it's written in your nature You know everything to say Just as long as I'm in danger

I know that I'm stupid, I make a mistake And repeat it a million times But it's better to see your familiar face Even though it's been killing my mind

Or this line from I'm So Sorry;

You must live a fucking nightmare Awake and in your dreams Looking for someone to hold your misery

And while I don't want to get too into spoilers for their relationship post-tadpoles since I'm really excited to build it up, song GRRRLS is very nice for it, as well as pre-tadpoles

I am the latest colors, I sing the newest songs I read all the lyrics, so I can sing along I am the latest colors, I stand above my throne Waiting for an invite to never come along

More under cut because i dont wanna spam lol

Be nice to me by Front bottoms! works so well for both of them, especially post tadpoles!

What's it matter anymore? You believe the lies I tell There's no meaning to words But we still sing these songs well And we all left it alone I'm sure it will work itself out fine They are playing with your numbers And we are running out of time

You're a killer and I'm your best friend I think it's unfair, your situation You say I'm changing, Sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same Can we talk about this later? Your voice is driving me insane

I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense The hand tries to grip the pencil, but the fingers are too tense I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet I'd love to tell you stories, but I can't remember how they went

Young minds by Rare Americans is one that's less negative!

I know I don't always treat you right I get fucked up to drown out, the noise inside I've felt alone my whole life

But don't give up on me Cuz I'll show you the man that I can be We're learning as we go Young minds, in a world, that we don't know Young minds with a long way to go

Another really nice one is anything from April to Death by Flower Face

I think I saw him slow-mo crashing on the interstate Think I saw him sleeping through a hurricane He's a violent man and his heart's decayed He's a liar, but I just can't stay away

This one is more just for Tadpoled Strike, but entire song Bordeline by Nico Collins

I'm in purgatory Middle of the story Pulling back and forth from surrender and glory All the pressure internally It could very well be the death of me

This is my favorite verse but it really is the whole song

But if I had to just chose one I'd go with "What's it matter anymore? You believe the lies I tell, There's no meaning to words, But we still sing these songs well" (Astarion) or "I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet, I'd love to tell you stories, but I can't remember how they went" (Strike) or anything else from Be Nice to Me

[pamsimmerstories]

freya wants him so bad ajksdhakjdhasd

wolfgang just wants freya to be sure about this

previous || next

-

[avery]: freya, we need to get back downstairs... your father is gonna notice we’ve been gone...

[freya]: your mom and him are talking about music, he gets very distracted when he’s talking about it. and i asked collin to stay downstairs until he sees us again

[avery]: your father is gonna kill me, freya

[freya]: he won’t

[avery]: freya...

[freya]: hm?

[avery]: we can’t do this...

[freya]: i know you want this... i can feel it.

[avery]: yeah and it fucking hurts. but you know we can’t do it right now. maybe your dad is right, i was mean to you our whole life...

[freya]: *sigh* fine. *kiss his forehead* not tonight.

[avery]: we just need to be a little patient...

[freya]: i know... but i can’t promise anything.

[avery]: freya...

[freya]: i’m just saying

-

[wolfgang]: you didn’t think i would notice you two were gone?

[freya]: uh... maybe. nothing happened, don’t worry

[wolfgang]: freya, i know you want to be... intimate with him, but i really think it’s a good idea if you just... get to know each other first and see how this goes. i’m not against you, uh, having sex, although i don’t wanna know about this... i know you’re 17 and this is all you can think about, but i just want what’s best for you. and i’m scared that he’s gonna break your heart...

[wolfgang]: i just need you to understand it, freya. i want you to be happy. even if it’s with him.

[freya]: i know, daddy! i love you

[wolfgang]: i love you too kiddo

[augment-techs]

PR UNFAVORITE CHARACTER RANT! GO!!!

Okay, let's start with the live action and work our way into the comics:

MMPR--Turbo: I'm sorry Jason, you are so boring and basic, I wasn't that sorry to see you go. At least Rocky had half a personality.

Dulcea; because there was no reason for her to wear that wardrobe and I kind of hate her for being a little creepy with the teenage boys. Mr. Stewart; I never once saw him in canon, which really just makes me hate him more for not surrendering his parental rights so Justin could be legally emancipated and move in with literally any of the older Rangers.

Jerome Stone: FUCK YOU FOR NOT NOTICING BULK AND SKULL WERE MISSING AND SHOWED MORE FEELING FOR THE CHIMPS THAN FOR THE YOUNG ADULTS!! Alpha 6:--tell me I'm not the only one that wanted to shoot him in the head each time he spoke.

Professor Phenomenus...Why is he here.

In Space: ...Andros before Zhane came alive. The whole time he was a prick, but at least Zhane offset that behavior.

Lost Galaxy: Trakeena's dad is disgusting for forcing the transformation on his daughter. And all the rest, but especially that.

Lightspeed Rescue: Jinxer, Vypra, Loki--why are any of you here?

Time Force: Mr. Collins throughout 90% of the season can go fuck himself. Also Alex in the second half of the season. Also...can I count the entire civilization of the 31st Century? Like, this is kind of fucked up.

Wild Force: I hate you Animus, I hate you Shayla, I hate you Master Org.

Ninja Storm: ......................Unfavorite is a biiiiit of the stretch, but I can I give you a total lack of feeling for Hunter and Blake and call it a day? Also Choobo, but that's just because he's kind of irritating.

Dino Thunder: ...Wow, this is gonna make me look bad, but for the sake of answering the question as truthfully as possible...Dr. Oliver. I'm sorry, but Tommy here was purely for filler and his haircut fills me with boiling rage. Especially during the Frozen in Place and Invisible to the camera episodes. Fuck right off, please.

SPD: ....Birdy was meaningless. But I also dislike Doggie when he's such a fucking self-important prick that needs to be kicked in the dick by Kat. So...59% of the time.

Mystic Force: Please don't kill me, but...Udonna IMMEDIATELY after she found out Nick was her son. Like, I get it, she got her child back, her husband is still under mind control and out in the world, she's on cloud nine. But this makes her look really, really, really insensitive. And presumptuous. Every time she called him Bowen I felt a little bit violent.

Operation Overdrive: Andrew Hartford can take a red hot poker up his entire ass. I haven't finished the season yet, but ideally, Spencer would get a divorce from him and full custody of Mack.

Jungle Fury: ...Dom is a perfectly nice guy, but he is so very boring that half of the people that watched this season forget he exists. And I am one of them. I also hate that they hooked him up with Fran. NO.

RPM: Colonel Truman. Especially when he pulled a gun on Dr. K. Who is a CHILD. He lost ALLLLLLLLLL respect at that moment.

Samurai: *picks up a rifle and sets it up in a sniper's nest* Mentor Ji. Not an actual mentor. Just someone who maintains the status quo for the sake of "honor" and "tradition" and all those other terrible terrible things that basically guarantee no Red Ranger ever made it to forty.

Dino Charge: James Navarro is a fucking deadbeat. I don't care if he stopped aging and was tasked with great power, he's a fucking dickhead.

Ninja Steel: I don't care for Redbot. He's a sweetie, but I do not care about him in any meaningful capacity. Also Dane Romero is kind of a waste of...any meaningful screen time.

Beast Morphers: Steel Silva is wonderful as a robot, but I failed to see the point of turning him into a human. Also, can I register the Heteronormative Romance EVERYTHING to do with Zoey and Nate as an Unfavorite Character? It seems tangible enough that it's its own entity.

Dino Fury/Cosmic Fury: Santaura's monster form was awesome, but I very very squicked when I found out she was heavily pregnant in Cosmic Fury--like, how? Also Zayto is a little bit too much in one season and a little too little in another. Ollie is oddly safer from me when he's a single entity or evil or unlocked from evil--or right next to Aiyon and nowhere near Amelia. This could be your fault. Boom! Comics: HAAAAAAAAAAA, we are in for a wild ride.

Drakkon from being broken out of his prison dimension and all the way up to being shot in the chest by Ranger Slayer. He was great in Shattered Grid and the early comics, but very little else. I am sorry, but the minute he got that haircut, he became extremely annoying.

I know we are supposed to be sympathetic to Kiya's plight. We are supposed to be aware that she has been fucked over every which way. But the second she turned to murder and made everything worse because she couldn't control herself or seek help for her PTSD? Buh-bye.

Marleau Eskin is the supreme bitch that doesn't realize she's in an action adventure series and while I hate her, I kind of wish she'd come back and give the Rangers more things to deal with as actual teenagers.

Dayne was interesting for a moment, but I really don't see why they keep bringing him back. I get he makes an excellent excuse for lore dump, but...

Dark Specter is the most boring cosmic entity that has ever graced these pages and he also was the one that turned Coinless Zack and Skull into Lava Zombies. And worse than that, he used Skull as a his own personal Viewing Globe before assigning him the task of letting the other zombies into the Coinless base before he got decked by Bulk. Also he steals children to use them as vessels. Also he apparently is the reason Rito Revulto is a walking skeleton and an idiot.

Last but certainly not least: Finster. An actual, factual murderer who killed his wife and ritually resurrects her only to kill her again when she shows fear of him every single time. That's not getting into the shit he pulls experimenting to create new monsters and what he probably helped Drakkon do to Goldar, Baboo, and Squatt. Of all the characters on this list, I hate him most of all.

[emilydickinsonsghost]

So, suddenly the show where vampires eat humans as a snack and it’s played for laughs is concerned about real life morality? Be so fucking forreal right now! Lazlo literally raised baby Collin’s and then later on had some fucked up threesome with him and doll Nadja while everyone watched (not complaining by the way it’s part of the absurdist comedy of the show). But God forbid anyone loose focus and have a consensual workplace relationship, that would just be too fucking far and way too problematic.

Also, I don’t think anyone who ships it does so because it’s 100% healthy and a shining example of what to look for in a relationship in real life. It’s a fucking show about blood-sucking, selfish, morally grey (at best) monsters. I think the fucked up gothic romance aspect was very much implied and part of the appeal. Almost as if that’s part of the genre. I mean, they’re vampires, duh!

Also, also, if we’re looking at actual power dynamics in their relationship, I think they’re giving Guillermo way too little credit. It’s literally been shown on screen that he can hold his own in a fight against Nandor and he’s killed more vampires than I can count (to save Nandors life btw, multiple times). Meanwhile Nandor literally doesn’t know what a spam email is and relies on Guillermo to iron his cape and open his coffin for him, like they’re co-dependent, sure, but it very much goes both ways.

Also the vampire killer x vampire is a cool and unique dynamic and literally something that happened before on the show with the guide having been with Van Helsing.

And finally, FINALLY, I can’t speak for everyone, but I for one don’t need them to “hook up” on screen, I just want them to confess their love for each other under the moonlight, followed by suggestive blood drinking and a chaste kiss. Like you don’t need to give me anything that wouldn’t be permissible in a Victorian novel, just don’t gaslight me and act like the romance between these two wasn’t very much implied all along!

“Small subset of very vocal people” my goddamn ass! Name a single straight person who watches this show ffs!