#fucj everything
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letters of rec…………..
#kill meeee kill me kill me kill me#fucj everything#angel.txt#stupid stupid stupid stupid#i hate them with a burning passion#do you want me to die? to fucking die?
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oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
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did anyone else feel like they were having a religious experience watching dev patel strangle a cop w a chain while that somebody to love edm remix was playing? because holy shit
#dev patel#monkey man#i keep replying it over and over. just. the build up to that moment whete hes finally trying to kill his mothers murderer#and that “dont you want somebody to love? dont you need somebody to love?” playing over the light as they freeze and everything feels like#it slows down. oh my fucjing god
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guys idk about you but i am NOT ready to delve into uncharted waters as we move into new content with bsd in the upcoming chapter.
this new chapter could include anywhere from ada reunion and a return back to yokohama OR to a new horrible twist after fyodor’s death, ensuring that if he lost then dazai would too. taking dazai down with him.
not to mention if we return back to yokohama that’s a whole other gut wrenching story as one ada member is selected to go to the port mafia. i am not ready to see the futile and tragic looks on the other agency members as they grit their teeth and watch one of their own step into the world of darkness. the tragedy of letting someone go after they have all reconciled. being separated again, but for good this time
#AND AND HOLD ON……….IF ITS DAZAI OR YOSANO????#DAZAI MIGHT JUST GO TO SAVE YOSANO.#NOTICE HOW HES BECOMING MORE SELF SACRIFICAL AND READY TO DIE FOR THE ADA?? ESP DURING MEURSAULT#MORI KEPT DAZAI’S EXECUTIVE SEAT OPEN. HE HAS BEEN KEEPING IT OPEN SINCE DAZAI WAS EIGHTEEN AND FLED THE MAFIA#guys if dazai is the one chosen to go back to the pm do you fucking realize that i will kill myself#his whole redemption arc….EVERYTHING he has done up until now to wrench himself free of the shadows of his past that still cling to him…#….ITS ALL GOING TO BE FOR NOTHING. IT IS HIS WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME. HIS DETHRONING. HIS FALL.#im going to be sick im not fucjing ready im not ready for this I CANT DO THIS#bungou stray dogs#bsd
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nutrek doesn't understand spock they play him really stiff and closed off but when you watch tos he is EXTREMELY open in his body language, and even though his idiolect is a bit formal he also is very relaxed when he speaks. nutrek has essentially just reinvented tuvok bc that's NOT spock
#been mad at snw recently#makes me so mad they don't understand what makes star trek good or how you even get those good hard hitting episodes#that somehow work well with the goofy episodes that often come right after#like they just don't fucking get it#and they don't understand star trek lore or how the different races work#and they don't understand spock fucj everything#my thoughts#star trek#star trek tos#star trek the original series#tos
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I wanted to fall in love after all.
I read Love Bullet on call with friends. (I blame @leafuxxtea for suggesting I read it. I am suffering.) (Also, go read Love Bullet if you're into slice-of-life and stuff.)
check out the other versions under the cut (including the Canon compliant versions)
(ngl she looks pretty in all of these I'm freaking o)
also w/o text!
#mug draws#milgram project#kashiki yuno#milgram#yuno kashiki#milgram fanart#love bullet#I WAS LOSING IT SOOO HARD WHILE DRAWING THIS YUNO IS SO PRETTY I WAS FRESKING THE FUCJ OUT#NOOO BECAUSE SOMEONE MENTIONED YUNO WOULD TOTALLY BE A CUPID AFTER I MENTIONED ENA'S GLASSES WERE SOOOO YUNO CORE#also yes that is the real kanji and katakana for yuno i had to look that up lol#ARC AND W I AM CRYING IN THE CLUB#AND LEE TOO WHY IS EVERYTHING DOOMED YURIIIII#AAUQIHRHFNG#so uh details details um#heart shaped glasses were needed because im g i mean um because yuno#i put her umbilical outfit/uniform underneath her vest and jacket#the jacket was supposed to symbolize tear drop but you can abrely see it so HAHSHD#the straps were based off her milgram uniform
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The way that Even is literally Ienzo's dad and like there's all the little things in canon that show how much he cares about him and protects him and the way that it's just like. Idk it just makes me cry so hard
#idk adoptive father/son relationships in video gamrs are so omportant to me 😭#like nate and sully from uncharted like bro that's his dad#when a character is someones dad but like they're not actually related but like you know. that's his fucjing son#anyways im tired and reading a fic and im a littlr emotioknal rn#even and ienzo you are everything to me#kingdom hearts#ienzo#even kh
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fake mash plot — “ happy birthday , henry “
hawkeye and trapper find out henry’s birthday is approaching , but find it difficult to plan a surprise party when henry keeps a close eye on them as punishment for their most recent caper . they manage to enlist margaret and a few other nurses to help , but a sudden influx of casualties derails their big plans . radar and klinger barter and trade for the ingredients to what klinger insists is the perfect birthday cake .
#by the way the party goes to absolute shit and henry cries anyways because of course he does he cries at fucjing everything#henry ‘ i never cry ‘ blake#they also sing we’ll follow the old man to him#something happens to the cake … idk what#mash#m*a*s*h#mashposting#mash 4077#mashblr#henry blake#hawkeye pierce#hawkeye#trapper john mcintyre#radar o’reilly#maxwell klinger#lgbt#lgbtq
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nothing compares to the anger i feel every time i see a screencap or any photo really of the Witcher tv show made by netflix
#like they really did this to us huh#it is PERSONAL to me you wouldnt get it#everything#especially the costume design is so fucking bad i need to cry#they took anything and everything that hadpolish roots and were like#well the general audience wouldnt understand so who cares#creating another bland english medieval fantasy show#i need a lobotomy#i mean im not really suprised seeing the westernes reactions to chlopi#still makes me so mad tho#i might do some designs based off of the books#simply so i dont go completey fucjing insane
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ngl gamers been having a real rough one. for a while.
not TOO dark but I'm keeping ramblings under here to not fill TLs up
and going 5 days w/o a phone really made me realize just how much people rely on them
no watch
no calendar
all my notes on my old phone are gone
no music at work so I was just stewing in the bad brain during tedious tasks
not being able to talk to anyone unless I was on desktop
ugh
so hard to not feel lonely/really highlight the 'I am a waste of space and all of my friends are just really nice people tolerating me, no one would miss me, it's hard to say nice things about me because I am not a good friend/boyfriend/person' spiral
like idk, ig I can be nice but is that really anything worthwhile when that should just be the default?
#skele ramblings#skele vent#idk I know at least one perosn recently I probably scared off or w/e because I'm a freak who sent too many “hey hope you're okay” texts#so I feel like I've fixked everything up there lol#my therapist gave me homework on Monday to come up w reasons I'm a good bf/friend/person and I've been drawing a blamk for days#she said I could ask people to give me reasons why they think so but ive been too much of a coward and in my own head about shit that#I can't bring myself to bother anyone#I wish that I was easy to love and easy to be acceftionate with in public but I'm just not lol#bad bad bad bad bad boyfriend#terrible friend#mid at fucjing best
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I love Stelle so much. Holy shit.
Just like chief and any other mobage MC, I truly love her as a character and i can't bring myself to self insert as her.
She's so....goofy and handsome and everything sweet and perfect in the world. Her writing isn't as good as chief but, like, idk man I love her 😭 Ningguang hasn't came out from hoyo jail i guess I've been pouring more love to character I can actually see and interact within others.... I still love ning a lot tho!!!! Gnshin just makes me depressed in general lol (hsr too but mostly bcs of the fandom outside my otp fandom lol)
Stelle 😭🫶
Maybe one day I can finally draw my OC-sona so I can ship her with Stelle.....
#Nagirants#I love stelle so much what the fucj#My everything#My honey bunny sweetie#Me casually self insert as the girls whom I ship her with#“are you telling me you're self inserting as kafka?” yes. Yes.#Yumeship
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you ever think about how this is your life all cause some europeans just had to wear some hats
#and now here i am a depressed neechie unable to watch a fucjing tv show because i need to pay for everything and theres a million streaming#now i gotta deal with like.#the bison are gone the language is gone my family is shattered etc JUST CAUSE SOME FUCJING WHITE PEOPLE HAD TO WEAR SOME DAMN HATS#and now theres fuckin capitalism.
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my therapist wrecked me with the closing statement of the session being ‘i think you have been alone for a very long time’.
#i sobbed as soon as i shut the door & left#i have people in my life who are there for me now .. but what really can replace what a parent should give you? nothing.#im so lucky to have ven and morwenn and all of my friends also#but not having a mum i can go to about everything is debilitating#not having a dad either just icing on the cake#i think the world is set on seeing me alone for whatever fucjing reason#i dunno#my brain is absolutely fucking fried#i have time off sick this week as well so i hope that i can process this & have a good session next week before heading back to work#i miss work#jaz rambles#jaz vents
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seeing havent seen challengers yet, but seeing ppl talking about it and literally 80% of the time the topic matter is about the music and ppl saying how bomb it is and loving it makes me feel like a proud parent seeing their child win some shitty 5th grade school competition (the child(ren) are trent reznor and atticus ross)
#not that their music is comparable to some shitty school competition like a potato sack race or smth#ITS JUST TO MAKE FUN OF MY PRIDE CONSIDERING THEYRE ADULTS OVER THE AGES OF 5O AND ARE AS OLD AS MY DAD#thats how u know that they're good fucking musicians#everything ive heard about the film is so funny to me#“they(reznor and ross) said the film is sexy and so we were in”#“why are they all so sweaty what the fucj”#im gonna love that movie#sad i couldn't see it in an actual cinema</3#nine inch nails#trent reznor#atticus ross#the challengers#rumaiq rambles
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watching the frozen movies and crying, call me saiki kusuo
#i have the dvds btw- not supporting disney+ right now#which i think is like a million times more cringe than it would normally be to watch frozen#having the DVDS? thats gay as fucj#sorry i love the frozen movies they make me so emo#anyway i think about kusuo so muchwhen i watch them#like ?? dont even tell me he isnt literally elsa#i think about saiki elsa-esque power reveal every damn day#dont ever think ive forgotten#its everything to me#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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got ANOTHER of my friends reading it yay
^^ drawing before my best friend zecri sketch compressed it to hell /pos
#i only did the drawing zecri did everything else. HEHEHE#i love the enemy book 1#hi deke bye deke#IM SO FUCJING HAPPY AND 3STATIC AND AAHFUHHHFH. YAY. READ MY AQESOEM BOOK SERIE.S.#the enemy#the enemy series#the enemy charlie higson#the enemy book series#freak#FREAK IS DEPRESSED
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