#from the shortest compilation I could find
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since there are so many data nerd phannies i decided to make a compilation of all the spreadsheets i could find - lmk if i missed any or if you want me to add any additional details <3
last updated: 30/06/24
actively updating spreadsheets
dan and phil uploads from 2021-2024
dan and phil’s upload schedule from all their channels with days and dates
amount of days in between videos in each channel
pie charts of days of the week they upload
made by @ahappydnp
everything dan and phil related
all of dan and phil’s video links from all their channels from all their accounts (including super amazing project, snapchat, vine, tiktok and more)
all of dan and phil’s radio shows, including reuploads and playlists, as well as the dan vs phil, fan war and internet news if available for each show with misc clips and written recaps
all of dan and phil’s liveshows, including some written recaps and the app where it was originally posted
all of dan and phil’s vyous including the question they were answering
all of dan and phil’s collaborations and video features (even if they were in the background), including the channel they were originally uploaded on
all of dan and phil’s interviews
all of dan and phil’s merch, including originally shop links and links to the phandom wiki which has further information
all of dan and phil’s professional photos as well as some fan photos, including the event, photographer and platform
the dates and statuses of each of these videos (lost, archived, unlisted or public)
made by @stillarchivingdnp
dan and phil 2024 upload stats
each of their 2024 videos with channel, upload date, upload time in uk, length, sponsor and editor/s (if applicable) with an accompanying colour-coded calendar
(for amazingphil videos) whether dan featured and (for dapg videos) whether it was gaming/talking and who tweeted it
interactive part where you can see the time period between two videos
averages, maximums and minimums for times between uploads, upload times and runtimes with accompanying graphs
percentage of videos with other editors, with pie charts for all channels and each channel
made by @dnpbeats
all or nothing: dan vs phil season 2
all of the games for season 2, with the year they played them and the results with and without all or nothing coming into play
how often all or nothing came into play and who suggested it
the general impact of all or nothing
made by @organized-chaotic-disaster
dan and phil saying “i love you”
when dan and/or phil said ily
the video and timestamp from when they said ily and whether it was prompted
pie chart of dan or phil saying ily
made by @ahappydnp
games where one of them decides the winner
date and link for each video
overall winner with the winner for each round
breakdown of the amount of times each of them have won each round and the percentage phil has won
made by @dnpbeats
dan and phil 2024 upload schedule
upload date for each video, with the day of the week and approximate time it was uploaded in cst, including the most common and second most common upload day for dapg
days between each upload, including the longest gap, shortest gap, average gap and first and second most common gap for dapg
a colour-coded calendar displaying the upload schedule for dapg and amazingphil
made by @kat-aa
completed spreadsheets
all or nothing: dan vs phil season 1 with a great accompanying document with further details and analysis of the data
all of the games they played, with the year they played them and the results with and without all or nothing coming into play
how often all or nothing came into play and who suggested it
the general impact of all or nothing
made by @organized-chaotic-disaster
youtuber tours
(not necessarily dnp but it includes them!)
120 different tours, including the creators, names, dates, countries, links (if available) and producers (if applicable)
each tours’ venue capacity range, average and total attendance
individual tour show breakdown with city, state, country and additional notes
data on each venue’s capacity, number of tours, and which youtuber went to each venue
data on each country’s amount of shows, broken down into states and cities
made by @stillarchivingdnp
gamingmas 2023 schedule
all gamingmas video titles from 2023
the time each video was uploaded in gmt
made by @cactuslester
spreadsheet screenshots in posts
listening trends in all or nothing
scatter graph for the correlation between track number and number of listens
analysis of the data
made by @serendipnpipity
analysis of dnp’s letterboxd ratings and movies with part 1 and part 2
(pt 1) rating distributions for all the movies they’ve rated, including details about which movies one rated higher than the other, and which movies they rated the same
(pt 1) a list of their five-star movies
(pt 1) a list of movies one logged but not the other
(pt 1) cute little misc notes about the specific movies and dates
(pt 2) ratings broken down into genre, studio and franchise with accompanying bar charts
made by @philsrosesweatshirt
views on post-hiatus dapg videos after specific time frames
i believe this is a work of progress!
video titles with the dates and months, along with details of whether they were sponsored or had external editors
view count after 24 hours, 48 hours, 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 months and 6 months
made by @goldenpinof
favourite dnp tour song statistics
years phannies started watching vs the year they joined the phandom represented in a bar graph
favourite dnp tour song in a donut pie graph and a bar graph
favourite song vs year joined represented in a bar graph
made by @serendipnpipity
terrible influence: the tour trailer video analysis
all the videos that appear in terrible influence with additional notes
the list sorted by date, view count and channel specifics
timestamps provided for each clip, both in the video and where they appear in the trailer
made by @emojackolantern
#yes i was thinking abt making a spreadsheet for this...#but i thought that was too ridiculous#dan and phil#phan#phil lester#amazingphil#daniel howell#dan howell#danisnotonfire#spreadsheets#excel#data analysis
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No hate intended here or anything because I totally agree with this. Izutsumi could be short for many reasons, but I wanted to compile the reasons I think she's short because this show and manga really is a hyperfixation 😅
She is from the Eastern continent, and to be fair, we don't know know the average height for tallmen there and she is young but she's seventeen which is considered an adult for tallman so I doubt she would still be growing, at least not to that degree.
She's also shorter than the rest of Shuro's party, which is a mixed bag overall really. Mizuru (5'5") and Benichidori (5'3") are shorter than the average, and Shuro (5'11") and Hien (5'7") are taller than average. And Tade, who is also seventeen, is also taller than the average for her race. The average height for a female orge is 6'2", and she is 6'5".
I personally think Izutsumi's actually short because of the whole beastman thing, but my reasoning is a bit of a spoiler, so I'm going to put it under the cut again.
From what we see of other beastmen, they have a human form and a beast form and full control over their transformations between both forms. Izutsumi doesn't.
If I had to guess, it's because she lacks the tattoos. Presumably, they control the forms, but we have no confirmation on that that I can find. With her animal soul being a specific Eastern panther, it stands to reason she might be on the smaller side considering the other animals the wiki lists as being ones that tallmen get.
Overall, though, I just think it's funny that while she's not the shortest party member, she would be much shorter than everyone else if you made them all the same race.
I know everyone talks about how ridiculously tall Chilchuck is compared to the average half-foot, but one of my favorite Dungeon Meshi character details is that all of Laios' party is just really tall... except Izutsumi, who is incredibly short instead. (And Falin, who is just an inch taller than average)
You can't look at these people as average representatives of their races, which is so funny to me because they are literally the people through which the audience gets introduced to their races.
Here are their heights compared to the average heights for their race and sex (as listed in the wiki)
Laios
Height: 6'1"/185cm
Average male tallman: 5'10"/180cm
Marcille
Height: 5'3"/160cm
Average female elf: 4'11"/150cm
Chilchuck
Height: 3'7"/110cm
Average male half-foot: 3'3"/100cm
Senshi
Height: 4'7"/140cm
Average male dwarf: 4'5"/135cm
Izutsumi
Height: 5'2"/150cm
Average female tallman: 5'6"/170cm
Falin
Height: 5'7"/170cm
Average female tallman: 5'6"/170cm
Spoiler for a reveal towards the end of the manga and a mini theory under the cut
I know Marcille's height can't actually be compared to that of elves due to her mixed heritage, but I used that because you are meant to believe she's just an elf in the beginning so my point still stands.
Also worth noting that Fionil (the elf spell caster they meet on floor two) is also a half-elf, half-tallman and she is shorter than Marcille. She's 4'11".
Now, as for my theory, do we think it might be possible that Chilchuck has tallman in his ancestory?
I've been thinking of this since I learned that tallmen and half-foots produce fertile offspring and if elves and tallmen just produce what looks like tall elves, it stands to reason that tallmen and half-foots would produce tall half-foots.
Now I'm not suggesting one of Chilchuck's parents is a tallman. We know they aren't, but maybe a grandparent or a great grandparent? Or maybe he's just really, really tall. But I do like to think it's the former and his family line has just been getting shorter and shorter back towards the half-foot average as it goes down the generations because his daughters also appear to be tall but are shorter than him. Though whether or not that's because they are women is something I will never have the answer to.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi lore#izutsumi#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers
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cnco as the office :))
#ive never seen it#but some scene are funny#soo behold this mess#from the shortest compilation I could find#cnco#cnco fanfic#cnco imagine#cncomusic#cncowners#incorrect cnco quotes#cnco fan art#cnco fluff#cnco fic#cnco video#ariana.txt#ari.vid
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Thank you TOG fandom for creating content to make 2021 a little more joyful for us - and special shout out to users @magify83 and @beepbeepsan for reblogging several of their suggestions for this little compilation ;) As for my own suggestions below, I went by my bookmarks from this year - though some I’ve already ranted about here, here and here - but there were a few left on my 2021 bookmark list.
In total there are nineteen fics! I divided them by major pairing (the majority are Joe and Nicky - but there’s a few found family, and some Kenzarelli as well), and then listed them by descending order of rating, as well as mentioning the word count, rating, and completed status. For the sake of brevity on an already long post haha, I only included the commentary by myself and Mag and Bee (versus that, and the author’s summary).
Also, for easier future reference, you find the google doc here that has all the links as well :D
If I accidently linked the wrong fic or used the wrong handle, please don't hesitate to let me know in the comments and I can edit it accordingly - sometimes tumblr glitches and I can't tag someone - or the AO3 profile did not have the tumblr handle listed. If you're the author and would like me to edit on the handle, feel free to let me in the comments and happy to do that as well.
Joe and Nicky
moonbeam by ecco_star - 18k - Rated G - Completed - Rec by Bee
Great premise, excellent execution. It’s a very sweet story with humor and love and tenderness - as well as some drama, panic, and minor angst! And a happy ending. Great characterization in this JoeNicky modern AU.
Together Always by AshStoryLover123 - 3.2k - Rated G - Completed - Rec by Mag
could have cried the first time I read this .. it's beautiful.
To Sir, With Love by Wind_Ryder - 7k - Rated Teen - Completed
So, one of my family members is on the spectrum for autism, and because I’m an advocate for him I’m definitely aware of just how misinformed (and sometimes genuinely unintentionally) some representation can be for it. I was thrilled to find this fic in January which featured Autistic!Nicky, and immensely enjoyed the way the past was weaved throughout. It’s just under 7k, but honestly it feels much more dense with the nuggets and insights - it’s not heavy handed, but there’s several “gut punches” in even the shortest sentences, that it doesn’t even have to be longer. It accomplishes so much in what it’s trying to convey in under 10k (teach me lol), that I sat there for a few more minutes after finishing just reflecting on how great it was. Though I obviously can’t speak to the authenticity in the sense that I am not on the spectrum, but from the “outside looking in” of a family member perspective, I had many instances/scenes/descriptions throughout where I related to Joe in this one.
Retrograde by @pinkninjapj - 107k - Rated Teen - Completed
Okay, there’s no one way to sum up this one in less than a paragraph - so feel free to browse for my end of the fic commentary on like page three of the comments back in July lol - but essentially I had saved this fic in February, paused, and finished it in July and really enjoyed the religious perspectives throughout for Nicky’s character - as well as the characterization for both him and Joe . . . but there were also plenty of scenes where the rest of the team carried their own perfectly. As much as this was a Nicky fic - and in turn a couple fic as well - none of the others felt like side characters, just because of that centralization. When they were there in a chapter, or a scene, they felt fully fleshed out, with personalities, and hopes, and dreams and feelings. This whole fic has such an overarching theme of love - but not only self love, and romantic, but beautiful moments of found family as well. It really is a wonderful fic and I’m glad to have had the opportunity to dive into it this year :)
Boiling over by @quietlyapocalyptic - 3.3k - Rated Teen - Rec by Mag
angry Nicky ... I'm sold 😊
Right Here Waiting by Hazel_Athena - 21k - Rated Mature - Completed - Rec by Bee
I love fics that have Joe and Nicky not realizing the other is immortal for a very long time, and this one’s no exception. It’s fun, it has an interesting plot and lovely setting, instant attraction, some pining and angst… Great read.
Live by the Sword by @blueskaerith - 7k - Rated Mature - Completed - Rec by Bee
I love this premise and the way it affects canon. Angsty read because of Merrick’s lab, but also funny and fun, with found family love and new growing love. The characterization was great, and I want to read so much more in this universe!
Missed you by a few minutes (a few centuries) by @just-another-tinker - 115k - Rated Mature - Completed - Rec by Mag
one of the first fics I read and it's just epic. Beautiful, amazing, sad, fantastic.
Young hearts by DarkFairytale - 84k - Rated Mature - WIP - Rec by Mag
amazing idea, wonderful execution
Honey I’m love drunk (it’s what you do to me) by maddielle - 1.8k - Rated Explicit - Completed
This gorgeous writing style - oompf - it’s definitely porn but hear me out - the characterization perfect, and I just adore a patient partner so win win win for this one! I have yet to figure out to write anything remotely like this for under 5k and yet here they are pumping out (no pun intended lol) a fantastic little fic that conveys it all perfectly (again, teach me people).
Take a chance by @mrsimoshen - 5.8k - Rated Explicit - Completed
This isn’t even my usual kind of read (per the tags), but Sin has a way of writing that is just so eloquent, even when it’s something like porn with plot. Is it in an insane scenario of a Modern AU mailbox mix up that leads to love? Sure - does that change the fact that she managed to blend feelings, fluff, and steamy goodness into one fic and add little nuggets of characterization that made me picture these two so perfectly? Absolutely not - because she’s just that kind of phenomenal writer ;)
I didn’t order this by @boutiquetraveltravelboutique - 30k - Rated Explicit - Rec by Bee
Hilarious premise and a very well written story stemming from a crack plot. It’s funny, it’s engaging, it’s witty, and it’s very steamy. Read this if you like modern AUs, Joe and Nicky both being a little bit of an asshole sometimes, and a delicious theme of “oh no, I wasn’t supposed to catch feelings!” (This fic gained me a new friend so I am biased)
Ma se ti svegli e hai ancora paura ridammi la mano by Srin - 30k - Rated Explicit - Completed - Rec by Bee
Who doesn’t love some Trust-inspired Italian kidnapping plus falling in love? A sweet story despite the circumstances, following a developing (forbidden!) relationship between Joe and Nicky, filled with hope and worries.
Endless ocean by me lol (this was a lovely surprise, thank you love!) - 248k - Rated Explicit - Completed - Rec by Mag
I've left you many comments on why ❤️
Group/Found Family
Nice Piece by @tobebbanburg - 1k - Rated Teen - Completed
I have no idea how she does it - trust me, I’ve tried myself and just cannot do it as eloquently as she - but this woman is like a master at blending feelings, with crack. Nice Piece is no exception, and unfortunately I cannot say more than that without giving the ending away - but it’s a funny read, with some wonderful found family vibes as well <3
Even if we win the battle by @glitter-lisp - 2.5k - Rated Mature - Rec by Mag
I love the Nile pov and how soft this is, despite the subject
Hey Falcons series by @morvith - 41k - Rated Mature (and one Teen) - WIP (only the last one in the series) - Rec by Mag
love the whole concept 😊
Kenzarelli Multiverse Pairings
Lucky Birds by @bewires - 2.7k - Rated Explicit - Completed
A lovely one shot featuring Daan and Paolo as the perfect single dads trope, plus a squeaky bed haha. As much as this is definitely an explicit fic of porn lol, it’s porn with feelings! There’s a lot compacted into the short fic, involving little nuggets of reflections from Paolo from first arriving, and the feelings that are only growing between them. It’s steamy, and lovely, and a fantastic short read.
Two Suns by @shadyhideoutreview - 57k - Rated Explicit - WIP
One of my absolute favorites of the year, is this stunning beauty right here! A fantastic blend of multiple Kenzarelli pairings (perfect if you have a preference or not, because they are all there!), plus found family, plus crime?? It’s got the vibes of a case fic, but it’s about the love and relationships in this one! Add in both established relationships that you want to go “aww” at it, and new ones forming that make you want to shout “kiss already!”, and you got a fantastic fic that both keeps you on your toes, trying to solve who’s who in the shady department, and rooting for love. Cannot say enough wonderful things about this one loves, definitely check it out if you’re into omegaverse, a little mystery, multiple pairings, and any of the lovely Kenzarelli pairings this fandom has created and evolved in the last year and a half.
Thank you to all the wonderful writers who created content that brought a smile to our faces this year!!
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my stars know about you.
a sam wilson x fem!reader blurb wherein sam finds the old videos the reader has when he was snapped away.
WARNING: a bit of angst and tfatws spoilers for those who haven't watched but aside from that, nothing else.
A/N: ha yes hello i impulsively wrote this bcs my muse was so high all of a sudden and i have this monologue ready for it. listened to this playlist right here and wendy ft. john legend’s written in the stars <3 also, is this still a blurb ??
---
Sam had promised you he would clean around the house while you go on a fun little weekend with Sarah and the boys, wanting to give you more time to relax and be around his family; his lips churning up into a small yet giddy smile at the thought of the small velvet box hiding somewhere in your shared room that contained the necklace you’ve been eyeing whenever the two of you could go out.
He was half-way done with the things hidden in your work drawer when he came across a flash drive that had a label written on it called visual diary. His brows furrowed lightly as walked to his side of the office, opening his laptop and plugged it in, opening the files to see multiple videos titled with dates, the first one from all the way back in 2018.
Sam shifted in his seat, clicking on that certain video only to be greeted by your tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes, under eyes dark from the possible lack of sleep. His heart dropped at the distraught look on your face as you took a deep breath in before looking into the camera.
“hey sam, it’s me. it’s一 it’s been exactly five days since Nat called me about how you were one of the people who, unfortunately, got snapped into non-existence.”
The way you spoke caused goosebumps to form along his skin, realizing that these were probably videos you'd made five years ago, when the snap happened. Sam’s heart was shattered at how lost you looked from the other side of the screen, wanting nothing more than to cradle you in his arms.
“I’m with Sarah right now, she’s sleeping in her room with Aj and Cass. She’s been strong, but you can see the worry in her eyes一 she’s holding up much better than I am though. I’ve been such a mess, I can’t look into the mirror without seeing… feeling you beside me. I miss you.”
Sam stopped the video, his own tears starting to choke him upon seeing the state that you and his younger sister have been. He knew that it was hard, after seeing Sarah struggle with the family business and keeping things together; seeing you wake up at night with cold sweat glistening on your skin as you jolted up from yet another nightmare of him not coming back.
He wanted to stop from diving deep into the videos but his curiosity was stronger. He scrolled through some more videos, randomly clicking on one.
This time, Sam was greeted with a somewhat cheery you, out on the hill you first confessed your attraction to him一 the same night he admitted that he loves you more than a friend, where everything started between the both of you.
“hey there, handsome. i surely hope you can recognize where i’m at right now, if not, then i guess i’m kicking your ass.”
He chuckled, finding your humor amusing despite how lackluster your tone was as you spoke into the camera. Sam reached up to trace your features that were present on his screen, remembering every single feature of yours, engraving it into the forefront of his mind.
“today’s the day we’re supposed to celebrate our first anniversary, sammy. we should’ve been in hawaii by now, swimming with the fishes or explore the beauty of that island. instead, i’m here, in my car alone on the hill where we first admitted our feelings for each other.”
Sam didn’t fail to notice how you were trying your best to hold back your tears, taking note of how your tongue poked the inside of your cheek一 a habit he noticed you would do whenever fighting strong emotions一 and he whispered a small, “Don’t hold your tears back, sweetheart.” and as if you heard him, you let out a small chuckle.
“if you were here right now, i know you would say something like, “don’t bottle those tears up, beautiful” or something along those lines. i want you to know that i’m trying, sam. but it’s hard, it’s been five long months since you’ve been gone and i don’t know how long i can last without hearing you say you love me or your obnoxious laughter that would resonate through the house.”
“I love you, baby.” was all that left Sam’s lips, tongue jutting out to dampen his lips as he listened to you speak, mind blank as too many thoughts about what he wants to say to you as of the moment are too much.
“i’ve told the stars about your laughter. it’s niche and cliche, i know, but mom told me to tell them all about the people i treasure the most whenever i can’t tell others about them.”
“i told them about how beautiful you are一 about how scintillating your eyes are that they could battle even the brightest star in the sky tonight. i let my stars know about how amazing of a chef you are even though you almost burnt my old apartment’s kitchen down because you forgot about the cake you tried so hard to bake.”
Sam cringed at the memory, nose scrunching up in disbelief that he could forget such a simple task; he spent the night apologizing and all you ever did was smile and lean in to give him a kiss in hopes to shut him up.
“i told my stars about how brilliant you are一 how your words are so deep even with the shortest sentences, about how you can easily captivate me and a bunch of others with the stories that you speak… about how much love you have for me and for everyone you care for. it never ceases to amaze me how you can stand up and fight for the people that you love.”
At this point, Sam was already in tears as you shared about how you spoke about him. He adored how your eyes were filled with that well-known fondness you have whenever you speak about something you love.
As the video ended, Sam was left to look at the reflection of himself on the screen, staring at his reflection as your words echoed in his mind. He always listened to you ramble on about how everyone’s destiny was written somewhere in the skies, their lives aligned like the constellations that shined bright in the nighttime.
Normally, he would brush it off, skeptic to that belief but as he tuned into your stories, he can’t help but believe that in what you were saying. Sam was about to play another video when he heard the familiar jangle of your keys in the front door.
Sam pulled out of his chair and raced over there to meet you, immediately engulfing you in a tight hug before you could even close the door. “Hello, beautiful.” he softly greeted, pulling away to place a light kiss on your temple. “How was your weekend away with Sarah and the boys?”
You chuckled softly at the sudden affection he was giving, dropping your duffel bag on the floor to wrap your arms around his torso, feeling how relaxed he was against you. “It was great! Could’ve been better if you were there to be with us.” you answered, reaching up to peck his lips a few times, making the latter smile. “What’s with the affection? Did you break something, Samuel? Wait一 were you crying?”
He shook his head, adamant in admitting that he was, he lifted you up easily as he took you over to your shared office, sitting back down on his office chair with you in his lap as he showed you the compilation of the videos, “I… I found the flash drive while cleaning and I got a little too curious and decided to see what was on it and well, turns out I got a bit more than what I expected.”
“I was going to show them to you one day, Sam.” you admitted, making yourself comfortable as you snuggled up to him, his arms laced around you securely. “But I wanted to make it a bit more… special since this was a very vulnerable time for me.” the softness in your voice made him curl a single digit under your chin to make you look at him.
“I’m sorry that I left you alone for that long, baby girl.” Sam apologized, feeling incredibly guilty for leaving. Despite knowing it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t bring himself to accept that you and his sister had to spend so many years without him. “I know you’ve told me multiple times that I shouldn’t say sorry, but I can’t help it. You’ve waited for so long.”
“And I’ll wait a million more if it meant I could be with you.” you cut him off, shifting slightly to make you face him completely. “You can go anywhere, anytime, for how long and I would wait for you to come back every single time. So please don’t feel guilty about it, love.” your hands holding the sides of his face as you start to pepper it with gentle kisses.
You smile at his peaceful expression, “My heart is in peace knowing that we’re written somewhere in the stars.” you say to him softly, squishing his cheeks in a playful manner, light laughter filling up the room.
Sam smiled, sealing the feather-like kisses with his lips on yours, capturing it for an intimate one that conveyed how much love he has for you, resting his forehead on yours right after. “You know that I love you, right Y/N?”
“I do and I love you so much more, Sam.”
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TAGLIST: @https-bvcky @harrysweasleys @selenasprompts @weasleytwins-41 @anchoeritic @marvel-diaries @demirunner @barneswidow @lovecroftreads @punkrific @6r4cie @yougottalovefandoms @swiftssss
to those whose urls are in bold, i can't tag you for some reason. join my taglist! it's in my main main masterlist <3
#sam wilson#sam wilson x reader#sam wilson x y/n#sam wilson x you#sam wilson imagine#sam wilson imagines#sam wilson fic#sam wilson fics#sam wilson drabble#sam wilson drabbles#sam wilson fluff#mcu#marvel x reader
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Well, gonna answer this for a certain piece of very background worldbuilding I've been meaning to bring up for a while, but considering how little I've been posting on stuff there's a lot else I don't 'get to' talk about.
So...
Tagging @theprissythumbelina @hessdalen-globe @bureaumantic @dark-bear-productions if you wanna read something far too long for its own good!
Warp Navigation
For a refresher, the Warp* is the immensely vast 'sea' between the 12 Worlds which grants the people of it their only means of Inter-World travel and transportation. Important physical attributes of the Warp include the 12 Transit Zones which each interface with a specific World, the exceedingly corrosive and mildly carcinogenic 'swash' that its seascape is made of, the continent sized and unceasing storms that dominate its surface, and the thin slivers of calm, called 'Contours', which form the boundaries of these storms and wind gregariously between one Transit Zone and another, offering the only peaceful and reliable routes of travel them.
Being an endless howling sea without any conceivable end, it should be no surprise that getting your vessel from one place to another you have in mind is actually quite hard. Physical landmarks like 'coasts' and 'islands' straight up do not exist, and the storms and contours themselves shift and morph with time under forces almost impossible to predict. Compasses spin and spin endlessly without meaning, without any worldly magnetism to align with, and dead reckoning through the storm will leave your ship and crew just so.
Thus, generations of sailors seeking to cross the Warp have relied on the Contours alone to get where they're headed. Over time, reasonably accurate maps have been made of the webs they made between various Zones have been compiled and continuously updated as the Zones move and Contours shift, die, or come into being. It was obvious enough that none of these routes were anywhere close to the shortest straight line between two destinations, but they were better than anything else anyone had, and much safer than feeding yourself to a Warp storm.
In this way, a ship with up to date charts and a savvy skipper and navigator could be reasonably certain of bringing their vessel safely across the Warp wherever they wished, and most journeys between Worlds took half a year or a little longer to complete. Seasoned captains had a few tricks up their sleeves to shave off some time, cutting through storms for brief periods or reading the subtle signs the waves gave to warn of new or dying contours, but by and large this way of doing things would persist for as long as anyone can remember.
Steam And Steel
Things on the navigation side would start to change not long after the rise of steam powered, steel hulled ships. After all, finding your way through it wasn't the only thing that kept sailors to the contours; the raging waves and roaring winds of the storms were known to turn solid men of war to matchsticks with a flick of their wrath, and their demented squalls nearly were impossible to sail with or against. Outside their bounds, the reliably strong prevailing winds that circulate through the contours provided a safe, if meandering, path. To a degree, then, even if the innovations to come had been made earlier, it's debatable how much they alone could have accomplished.
With new, sturdy ships, and a means of propulsion which cared not for belligerent winds, came at last a means for the sailors of the Worlds to brave the Storm and come out alive. If existing charts were accurate, a straight or near enough line between most Zones could cut travel times by weeks, or months for the longest and most winding paths.
It was a heady time. Now, all they needed was a way to know where, exactly, they were.
The Harthport Compass
The rise in inter-World mercantile trade would have incredible effects on places and people everywhere, but it would fall most profoundly on the great shipping and shipbuilding cities of the Worlds. One of these was the Albish city of Harthport, the heart of the Kingdom of Albion's** maritime grandeur, and the home of an invention which would change the face of Warp navigation forever --- the Harthport Compass.
A Harthport, or 'Harthport-type', Compass takes advantage of one of the Warp's most esoteric properties. Each individual Transit Zone effectively exerts a cyclical 'pull' and 'push' effect on the rest of the Warp, acting not through the physical reality but the 'Underlay', which, to keep things short, is the un-reality that exists within 3-dimensional space through which all the other magic-stuff takes place in. This phenomenon has been identified as main driver of the Warp's endless storms, but the actual forces at play were so obscure that even the most learned Navigators*** could barely perceive them.
It would be a Harthport engineer who first discovered this phenomenon, and they would swiftly seize onto the opportunity it provided. Further research showed that the forces at play could be made to interact with crystals of an appropriate design, aligning them towards a Zone in much the same way as a compass points north, and that each Zone produced a subtly different effect which forced only certain crystals to become aligned at all.
Through careful calibration and measurement, then, it became possible to create twelve crystals, each of which would become aligned with the effects of one, and only one, Transit Zone, a force which could be felt across the Warp. The ultimate result, crudely drawn by yours truly, was this;
===
===
With precise knowledge of each Transit Zone's relative location from each other, and each individual crystals relative angle of bearing to their respective crystal, a means of finding a ship's location in the featureless expanse of the Warp was finally, at long last, achieved. While nothing in the Warp ever stays right where you left it, the relative positions and distances between various Transit Zones was well known for being the closest thing to 'static' in the place. Thus, as long as you kept up to date records of these Zones' gregarious changes to reference, a Harthport Compass could tell you where you were anywhere in the Warp, and with that knowledge bring your ship wherever you wanted in it.
Rippling Consequences
Now that I've gotten all that off my chest, I won't keep you all too long.
These back-to-back innovations in the maritime realm would collectively usher in an unprecedented golden age for much of the 12 Worlds. The wealth and connections that would grow as a result would reshape the international order, and would be among the innumerous factors leading, in due time, to the birth of the United Commonwealth itself.
A/N...
Notes below, but also I realise I have entirely left out the existence of the Warp's 'Layers' from this post. Basically, the Warp is made out of (infinitely???) many identical layers, of which all but a handful are completely unstable and immediately annihilate anything in them, leaving only a few safe for transit. Everything in this post applies to all Layers in the same way, the only differences are in the 'scale' of distances between Zones and other dimensions, and the relative intensity of storms (the former goes down as the latter goes up).
* Name still, somehow, pending (I am very indecisive and also fear Games Workshop's legal wrath, the hypocrites)
** This one too, because as much as I like it and have a satisfactory explanation to myself for its existence I can't shake the feeling that someone's gonna think that using an archaic name for Britain is stupid
*** basically, magic users who can transit themselves and their vessels into or out of the Warp, or between its layers.
I don't do this but I wanna start so
@akiwitch @verba-writing @littleshopofchaos @a-scaly-troublemaker
Tell me something about one of your WIPs (spoiler free) that you don't get to talk about as much as you'd like
Can be anything, characters, backstories, worldbuilding, anything as long as it's spoiler free
And feel free to pass on the sentiment and ask others the same!
#worldbuilding#writeblr#my worldbuilding#writeblr stuff#god it's been so long since I did one of these#or interacted with Writeblr in general tbh#hence the [ :') ] in the previous tags
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How the Bachelors and Bachlorettes surprise the farmer on Valentines Day!
So, my friend @soft-bois-make-me-simp and I decided we wanted to collab for something on Valentines Day!! As this was our first time doing a collab with another person, we actually had a ton of fun throwing around ideas and getting stuff together! Not to mention that they had so many ideas that my mind was swimming, it was honestly so cool. I have a hard time writing about the bachelorettes, but they just blew me out of the water. I couldn’t have done this post without them and it was totally worth it. We had a ton of fun so we hope you enjoy this!!! All the Bachelors and Bachelorettes are below, thanks and WE LOVE Y’ALL. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!
I did all the bachelors! @soft-bois-make-me-simp did all the bachelorettes!
Bachelors~
Harvey
Oh, he spends a lot of time trying to present you with the best Valentine's Day present. He researches ideas on how to do that. In the end, he decides he wants to surprise you with dinner at his place and he is prepared. Throughout the day he spends it gifting you different presents like flowers, little love notes, and even a box of chocolates! Then, he calls you up and invites you over. Opening the door to the clinic, rose petals line the floor leading up to his door upstairs. Stepping into his room, the lighting is low with candles and jazz quietly breaking up the silence in the background. There’s a table set up in the middle of the room with a lacy pink tablecloth, dinner is set up, and rose petals decorate the floor. “H-hey!” He says nervously to you, “I-I wanted to surprise you, d-do you like it?” Even without the room completely lit up you know he’s blushing, but you can see that he’s wearing a nice undershirt like he always wears, but without his long green coat, and he’s wearing dark dress pants. He approaches you and softly gives you a kiss on the cheek, he then pulls you into a big hug. The dinner was delicious and you two spend the time complimenting each other and being in each other’s company. After dinner you help him clean up, you then see that he had been researching on how to be romantic… by watching romance movies. His efforts to show you how much he appreciates and loves you shows no bounds. He walks you home and before you walk through the door he says, “I love you, you know? I really do love you.”
Elliott
You wake up at your usual time and head outside to do your daily chores. You head towards the mail box and it’s stuffed to the brim with letters! Eyes wide, every single one is addressed from Elliott, you carry the stack of letters inside and as you open them they’re all love notes with various dates on them. By checking each date you realize he had been writing love notes, with you mind, for an entire month! You check the one for today’s date and it’s the shortest letter within the stack. He explains that he wants you to meet him at his place around 8pm but he doesn’t explain why (his signature has many red hearts around it.) Arriving at his place at 8pm he greets with a big hug and a tender kiss, “I could hardly wait for you, my love!” In his small shack he put together a wonderful dinner for you two to enjoy. During the meal he explains his love for you the only way a poet would, it goes from him desiring your beauty over the sun to how excited he gets whenever you’re in view. After dinner he gestures for you to sit and relax on his bed. The evening ends with him playing the piano, he wrote a piece (for the first time) completely inspired by you and the love he holds for you… and only you.
Alex
He is up and ready at 6am. With groggy eyes you open the door to see Alex with a big goofy smile holding flowers. “Good morning! I just wanted to say that I love you!” He says this all in one breath and thrusts the flowers to you, “I’ll come pick you up at 6pm. I love you, bye!” It seemed over in a flash once you accepted the flowers, but he seemed confident and happy- you couldn’t deny his puppy dog eyes. At 6pm he strolls up the path, and linking your arm with his, you both begin to walk to the beach. Nervously scratching the back of his neck, he blushes and says, “You’ve been there for me a lot. I know I’m not book smart or anything, but you’ve been my-” he reaches in his pocket to pull out a scribbled note, “-light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve never loved anyone more than I’ve loved you,” He awkwardly laughs, and with the sun setting behind him he stops and holds both your hands in his. His eyes are full of love and devotion, “I found these in Zuzu City, I hope you like them,” He pulls out matching necklaces giving you the one with ‘A’ on it. “See, this one has your letter on it! I hope you like it,” You couldn’t say no and he helped you put the necklace on. With his large and goofy smile you two end the evening in each other’s company, holding hands and watching the sun set.
Sebastian
Sebastian gets really excited to show you a new DND adventure that he’s compiled for you two to play. He explains that he’s thought about this for a while and through a slew of note writing and trial and error, he is convinced that he has made you the best gift for Valentines Day. It’s an odd adventure that asks you to find Sebastian his one true love- you laugh thinking it’s just Sebastian being goofy but you play along. Through fighting and exploration you begin to gather clues as to who his true love is supposed to be, the clues are subtle but explain the personality and appearance of the one he wants to be with. At the end of the campaign you smile because all along, through all the notes you’ve gathered throughout the adventure, they all describe you. You are his one true love and the only one he wants to be with.
Sam
Sending you a letter in the mail, Sam explains he wants for you to be home around 8pm. Course you comply, a bit curious considering you had no idea what he had planned. Coming up the path, carrying his guitar, he gives you an awkward smile. He seems nervous and his voice sounds shaky when he greets you, “I wasn’t sure what to give you for Valentines Day, so I did what I know best,” he says, unlocking his guitar case. He gestures for you to sit and with a shaky voice begins to play the guitar and sing you a love song that he created himself. Sam avoids eye contact with you for a bit as he plays, unsure of how you feel about it, but as time went he grew more confident. When he locks eyes with you it’s filled with appreciation, love, and admiration. After finishing his song he gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek- he didn’t want to be with anyone else.
Shane
Shane decides that he wants to take you out to the Stardrop Saloon for Valentines Day. He opens the door for you and as you two sit he gives you a peck on the cheek. You can tell he’s certainly trying as you see he has gel in his hair and he’s wearing clean clothes. “I… Look, I don’t do sappy stuff, b-but you know, I really enjoy your company and I-uh I wanted to try and do something special for you.” He explains as a blushy mess, he avoids eye contact with you as he says this, but you can tell by the sound of his voice that he really means it. Without ever ordering, Gus approaches the table with a big smile and sets down a pizza that’s in the shape of a heart! “I-uh… I really like you, you know. I’m not good with this stuff, but you mean a lot to me so let’s enjoy some pizza!” He remarks trying to divert the conversation from anything sappy. Through the rest of the night he spends it trying to make you laugh, and you didn’t know how late it had gotten until Gus had kicked you guys out. When he walks you home you see him noticeably get sadder, you realize that he never wanted the night to end.
Bachelorettes~
Abigail
Abigail wants to take you for an adventure. One where it’s quiet and a place only she knows about, or so she thinks. Telling you to clear your schedule that day and to meet near the wizard tower she’ll blindfold you. It’s a secret she wants to share with you, but when she reveals the secret forest you smile at her. Hesitating for a second to tell her that you’ve been here often though when she’s about to lead you to a dead end and you tell her; she knows it wasn’t a secret to you. She asks you to lead the way to the pond where she has a blanket prepared and asks you to sit down. Once you are settled she plays you a piece on her flute that you haven’t heard before. It’s calming and beautiful, you would even describe it as enchanting. After she finished she tells you it was an original piece inspired by you.
Emily
Waking up you find Emily gone from her side of the bed. In her place was a wrapped up box tied together with a bow and a note saying Open. Inside was an outfit that was absolutely stunning in your favorite color. It was a more formal attire then what you both normally wear but that wasn’t all that was in the box. Another note attached to it saying she hopes you get a positive energy from the outfit as it was made with love. For another surprise please wear it and meet at the bus stop at 7pm. Wearing your new glamorous outfit that fits like a glove you see Emily dressed up and waiting for you. She takes you to ZuZu City where to your surprise the bus stops in front of a ballroom studio. Emily tells you she’s been taking a class on the “Dances of Love” and wanted to show you what she’s learned. You spend the rest of the night dancing, both getting lost in the music and each other.
Haley
Haley didn’t mention to keep your schedule open or to come at a certain time but you knew Valentine’s Day was important to her. It was a day she looked forward too each year and you were excited to spend it with her. After the chores around the farm were done you headed to her house with a pink cake you made yourself and a sunflower pouch Emily helped you make. You put the cake in the kitchen and head to her room. She was standing in front of the vanity, but when you walked in you heard a closing noise, almost like a book being closed. She is holding something behind her back when you approach she shoves something into your hands. It’s a scrapbook decorated in pink and sunflowers with both your names on the cover in a heart. Opening it, it's a collage of photos she’s taken over the time you’ve spent together. Polaroids of the first gift you gave her, your date with the cows, some of the mornings you’ve spent together and all the events you’ve been to together. She goes over how special each moment is to her and tears up saying how much of a better person you made her. Thanking you for coming into her life and showing how beautiful a photo can truly be when you’re in it.
Maru
Waking up you were excited as Maru asked you to meet her tonight. A special viewing of the stars with you space girl is something that always makes you happy. Though walking out you see all your crops have been waterd, in fact next to your crops were sprinklers. Confused, you walk to the mailbox where you find a letter from Maru telling you she built some sprinklers for you and if they are something you liked she’s happy to make more. She also reminds you about tonight and to dress warm! When the time arrives you head to the mountain and enjoy hearing her talk about space. That is until she mentions one star that you’ve never noticed before. She asks if you know the name but it’s one you are unfamiliar with. Maru smiles at your confusion. Telling you that for Valentine’s day her present besides the sprinklers, was getting you a star. A way that if you ever need to be reminded of her love just look up and know that she loves you more than all the stars in the sky.
Leah
Everyone in town was buzzing about a big Valentine’s event happening this year. It was something that was kept a big secret and nobody in town knew what was happening just what time to go. Leah was not one to usually express extreme interest in going to town events but she seemed very excited for this one. If not to find out what was the big event you decided to go for Leah. She mentions having to finish up some work and she’ll meet you at the event so heading alone you’re floored when you see it’s an art show. Not just any art show but one Leah is putting on! It’s a Valentine’s day art show with each piece centered around the theme of love. She tells you how you inspired these pieces and how you are her muse. Not just for today but forever.
Penny
Ever since the chili incident you have been trying your best to avoid Penny’s cooking. You love her, you really do and want to support her but cooking was just not a strong point. So when she asks you to a Valentine’s day picnic where she plans on cooking the food you’re a little hesitant but seeing her eyes light up talking about it you tell her of course. Walking into the forest you see her and a large basket next to her. She starts talking out dish after dish and encouraging you to try them all. You take a pepper popper and eat it. It was really good! You try all the different dishes from the stuffing to fish stew all delicious. She tells you she’s been practicing with Gus and is very happy to see you eating her cooking. Penny tells you she has one more surprise and gives you a book. It was your favorite book, looking inside you noticed a message. It was a message from the author, she got your book signed by your favorite author. Penny tells you to look on the last page as well where she wrote a note, although this book may be your favorite, our story will always be mine.
#stardew valley#elliot stardew valley#stardew valley sebastian#harvey stardew valley#stardew valley bachelors#stardew sam#stardew shane#stardew emily#stardew harvey#stardew elliott#stardew alex#stardew haley#stardew leah#stardew bachelorettes#stardew maru#stardew penny#stardew abigail#haley stardew valley#emily stardew valley#maru stardew valley#abigail stardew valley#leah stardew valley#stardew valley harvey#sdv harvey#sdv elliot#sdv shane#sdv maru#sdv elliott#sdv emily#sdv haley
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my stars know about you. [ s.w ]
a sam wilson x fem!reader blurb wherein sam finds the old videos the reader has when he was snapped away.
WARNING: a bit of angst and tfatws spoilers for those who haven’t watched but aside from that, nothing else.
A/N: ha yes hello i impulsively wrote this bcs my muse was so high all of a sudden and i have this monologue ready for it. listened to this playlist right here and wendy ft. john legend’s written in the stars <3 also, is this still a blurb ??
updated a/n: BYE I FORGOT THAT I WROTE THIS AKDFNKFJN my heart is so soft hhhh
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Sam had promised you he would clean around the house while you go on a fun little weekend with Sarah and the boys, wanting to give you more time to relax and be around his family; his lips churning up into a small yet giddy smile at the thought of the small velvet box hiding somewhere in your shared room that contained the necklace you’ve been eyeing whenever the two of you could go out.
He was half-way done with the things hidden in your work drawer when he came across a flash drive that had a label written on it called visual diary. His brows furrowed lightly as walked to his side of the office, opening his laptop and plugged it in, opening the files to see multiple videos titled with dates, the first one from all the way back in 2018.
Sam shifted in his seat, clicking on that certain video only to be greeted by your tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes, under eyes dark from the possible lack of sleep. His heart dropped at the distraught look on your face as you took a deep breath in before looking into the camera.
“hey sam, it’s me. it’s一 it’s been exactly five days since Nat called me about how you were one of the people who, unfortunately, got snapped into non-existence.”
The way you spoke caused goosebumps to form along his skin, realizing that these were probably videos you’d made five years ago, when the snap happened. Sam’s heart was shattered at how lost you looked from the other side of the screen, wanting nothing more than to cradle you in his arms.
“I’m with Sarah right now, she’s sleeping in her room with Aj and Cass. She’s been strong, but you can see the worry in her eyes一 she’s holding up much better than I am though. I’ve been such a mess, I can’t look into the mirror without seeing… feeling you beside me. I miss you.”
Sam stopped the video, his own tears starting to choke him upon seeing the state that you and his younger sister have been. He knew that it was hard, after seeing Sarah struggle with the family business and keeping things together; seeing you wake up at night with cold sweat glistening on your skin as you jolted up from yet another nightmare of him not coming back.
He wanted to stop from diving deep into the videos but his curiosity was stronger. He scrolled through some more videos, randomly clicking on one.
This time, Sam was greeted with a somewhat cheery you, out on the hill you first confessed your attraction to him一 the same night he admitted that he loves you more than a friend, where everything started between the both of you.
“hey there, handsome. i surely hope you can recognize where i’m at right now, if not, then i guess i’m kicking your ass.”
He chuckled, finding your humor amusing despite how lackluster your tone was as you spoke into the camera. Sam reached up to trace your features that were present on his screen, remembering every single feature of yours, engraving it into the forefront of his mind.
“today’s the day we’re supposed to celebrate our first anniversary, sammy. we should’ve been in hawaii by now, swimming with the fishes or explore the beauty of that island. instead, i’m here, in my car alone on the hill where we first admitted our feelings for each other.”
Sam didn’t fail to notice how you were trying your best to hold back your tears, taking note of how your tongue poked the inside of your cheek一 a habit he noticed you would do whenever fighting strong emotions一 and he whispered a small, “Don’t hold your tears back, sweetheart.” and as if you heard him, you let out a small chuckle.
“if you were here right now, i know you would say something like, “don’t bottle those tears up, beautiful” or something along those lines. i want you to know that i’m trying, sam. but it’s hard, it’s been five long months since you’ve been gone and i don’t know how long i can last without hearing you say you love me or your obnoxious laughter that would resonate through the house.”
“I love you, baby.” was all that left Sam’s lips, tongue jutting out to dampen his lips as he listened to you speak, mind blank as too many thoughts about what he wants to say to you as of the moment are too much.
“i’ve told the stars about your laughter. it’s niche and cliche, i know, but mom told me to tell them all about the people i treasure the most whenever i can’t tell others about them.”
“i told them about how beautiful you are一 about how scintillating your eyes are that they could battle even the brightest star in the sky tonight. i let my stars know about how amazing of a chef you are even though you almost burnt my old apartment’s kitchen down because you forgot about the cake you tried so hard to bake.”
Sam cringed at the memory, nose scrunching up in disbelief that he could forget such a simple task; he spent the night apologizing and all you ever did was smile and lean in to give him a kiss in hopes to shut him up.
“i told my stars about how brilliant you are一 how your words are so deep even with the shortest sentences, about how you can easily captivate me and a bunch of others with the stories that you speak… about how much love you have for me and for everyone you care for. it never ceases to amaze me how you can stand up and fight for the people that you love.”
At this point, Sam was already in tears as you shared about how you spoke about him. He adored how your eyes were filled with that well-known fondness you have whenever you speak about something you love.
As the video ended, Sam was left to look at the reflection of himself on the screen, staring at his reflection as your words echoed in his mind. He always listened to you ramble on about how everyone’s destiny was written somewhere in the skies, their lives aligned like the constellations that shined bright in the nighttime.
Normally, he would brush it off, skeptic to that belief but as he tuned into your stories, he can’t help but believe that in what you were saying. Sam was about to play another video when he heard the familiar jangle of your keys in the front door.
Sam pulled out of his chair and raced over there to meet you, immediately engulfing you in a tight hug before you could even close the door. “Hello, beautiful.” he softly greeted, pulling away to place a light kiss on your temple. “How was your weekend away with Sarah and the boys?”
You chuckled softly at the sudden affection he was giving, dropping your duffel bag on the floor to wrap your arms around his torso, feeling how relaxed he was against you. “It was great! Could’ve been better if you were there to be with us.” you answered, reaching up to peck his lips a few times, making the latter smile. “What’s with the affection? Did you break something, Samuel? Wait一 were you crying?”
He shook his head, adamant in admitting that he was, he lifted you up easily as he took you over to your shared office, sitting back down on his office chair with you in his lap as he showed you the compilation of the videos, “I… I found the flash drive while cleaning and I got a little too curious and decided to see what was on it and well, turns out I got a bit more than what I expected.”
“I was going to show them to you one day, Sam.” you admitted, making yourself comfortable as you snuggled up to him, his arms laced around you securely. “But I wanted to make it a bit more… special since this was a very vulnerable time for me.” the softness in your voice made him curl a single digit under your chin to make you look at him.
“I’m sorry that I left you alone for that long, baby girl.” Sam apologized, feeling incredibly guilty for leaving. Despite knowing it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t bring himself to accept that you and his sister had to spend so many years without him. “I know you’ve told me multiple times that I shouldn’t say sorry, but I can’t help it. You’ve waited for so long.”
“And I’ll wait a million more if it meant I could be with you.” you cut him off, shifting slightly to make you face him completely. “You can go anywhere, anytime, for how long and I would wait for you to come back every single time. So please don’t feel guilty about it, love.” your hands holding the sides of his face as you start to pepper it with gentle kisses.
You smile at his peaceful expression, “My heart is in peace knowing that we’re written somewhere in the stars.” you say to him softly, squishing his cheeks in a playful manner, light laughter filling up the room.
Sam smiled, sealing the feather-like kisses with his lips on yours, capturing it for an intimate one that conveyed how much love he has for you, resting his forehead on yours right after. “You know that I love you, right Y/N?”
“I do and I love you so much more, Sam.”
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#sam wilson#sam wilson x reader#sam wilson x y/n#sam wilson x you#sam wilson imagine#sam wilson imagines#sam wilson fic#sam wilson fics#sam wilson drabble#sam wilson drabbles#sam wilson fluff#mcu#marvel x reader
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Brief history of Les contes d’Hoffmann edits (the short short version) + Summaries!
Kudos to anyone who gets through all of this, but I recommend at least reading the first part if you plan on watching this opera next week for Operablr Pride Month. It will help you find/choose a version to watch!
For the differences in the summaries to make sense, we need a little background info.
The very very very short version of why there are so many edits:
Offenbach died before he could finish the score. Most of the prologue, Olympia, and Antonia acts were done; the Giulietta act and the Epilogue were not, which is why those are the parts that vary the most across the different edits. Additionally, much of the material that varies belongs to Nicklausse/the Muse. The reason for this is that the mezzo in this role cancelled last minute, and the replacement didn’t have time to learn the entire role before the performance, so the Muse monologues, Violin Aria, and much of Nicklausse’s dialogue were cut; the ending monologue was replaced with spoken speech. Since the premiere—which is another story for another time—several conductors, directors, and music scholars have attempted to reconstruct the opera based on Offenbach’s drafts and notes, and in some cases their personal preferences. Additional shoutout to good old Guiraud, who finished a lot of the orchestration that Offenbach didn’t get to, which is some of the only stuff to survive most edits.
Also, I should say: apparently in addition to there being no definitive edition of this opera, there’s no definitive history either. I swear every book/article I read about it says something different so this is the best I could do. So if there are any inaccuracies, apologies in advance.
Now there are a lot of people that have tinkered with this opera, but there are a few main ones that compiled what are dubbed “critical editions,” because they did a bunch of research and a lot of people end up using edits based on what they did.
In chronological order, those critical edits are:
Choudens: The shortest version, and one most people are familiar with.
Oeser (1): Longer with a lot of missing material added, also fairly well-known.
Oeser (2): Even longer with a ton of new stuff added! (My personal fave but pretty rare)
Kaye/Keck: Uses some of the material rediscovered by Oeser, but also adds a ton of other stuff, particularly in the Giulietta act, as well as re-orchestrating significant portions. Not many of these either.
and apparently there’s another one called “OG Offenbach” or something like that but as far as I can tell there haven’t been any recordings of it or much about what it looks like, but from what I gather it’s fairly similar to that last one, with some adjustments based on yet more new-old material discovered.
And, of course, every single production I’ve ever seen/heard puts its own spin on things! So while most have the general formats as seen below, literally no two are exactly alike.
A bit more detail on the versions:
Choudens
This is one of the first people to edit the material after it was butchered for the world premiere. It’s the short version of the opera with the most material missing, though to be fair he did improve upon what it had been before. His is (unfortunately) the edit most people are familiar with:
Prologue: Chorus of Spirits of wine and beer. Lindorf monologues about stealing Stella from Hoffmann. Students party in the tavern and ask Hoffmann to tell a stoy; he sings the famous "Ballad of Klein-Zach." When taunted by Lindorf about his love life, Hoffmann decides to tell everyone the tales of his Three Great Loves. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann is in love with the “daughter” of Spalanzani, his science professor, unaware that she is a robot. Coppélius sells Hoffmann magic glasses that make him believe Olympia is a real human, despite Nicklausse's insistence that she is a mechanical doll. Olympia is presented to the guests at her coming-out party; they marvel over her. Hoffmann serenades her and dances with her, but Coppélius arrives to take her apart, and Hoffmann realizes he’s been in love with a robot the whole time. Act II: Giulietta. Choudens put the Giluietta act second instead of Antonia. At a party, Nicklausse and Giulietta sing the famous Barcarolle; Hoffmann counters with an aria about how love is futile. Nicklausse tries to warn Hoffmann to be careful of Giulietta's lover, Schlémil, but Hoffmann of course does not listen. Dapertutto arrives and makes a deal with Giulietta to trick Hoffmann. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and steals his reflection. When Hoffmann realizes his reflection is gone, we get the famous Septet (the only thing I’m grateful to Choudens for). Afterwards, Hoffmann kills Schlémil to get the key to Giulietta’s room, but Giulietta leaves with Pitichinaccio instead. Act III: Antonia. The singer Antonia is sick and it’s her singing that is killing her. Hoffmann, who’s been looking for her for months after Antonia and her father moved specifically so he couldn’t find them, has finally found her. They promise to run away and get married, but before they can, Dr. Miracle forces Antonia to sing until she literally dies. Epilogue: Hoffmann has finished his stories. Nicklausse makes the connection that all three ladies are actually metaphors for the real-life Stella. Hoffmann yells at him. Stella walks in on a drunk Hoffmann who mistakes her for his lovers; she leaves in a huff with Lindorf. Nicklausse reveals his identity as the Muse (in spoken dialogue) and asks for Hoffmann’s devotion. Hoffmann gets a reprise of his Giulietta act aria, but this time committing himself to the Muse and his art.
Oeser (1)
This one, which is also very common, isn’t Oeser’s *actual* edit but combines his with the Choudens one, so it has a lot more material than the previous one, but not as much as the longer Oeser version.
Prologue: Very similar to Choudens except we get the Muse’s opening monologue explaining their motivations (winning Hoffmann and saving him from Stella) before the rest of the action. Act I: Olympia. Pretty much the same but sometimes Nicklausse gets a different aria. Act II: Antonia (which here comes before Giulietta). Almost exactly the same as Choudens’, but Nicklausse gets to sing a lovely aria about love and art which is really a love song for Hoffmann. Act III: Giulietta. Pretty much the same, except it’s the third act instead of the second act. Epilogue: Starts pretty much the same, until the Hoffmann/Stella confrontation which is now put to music. Then we get a reprise of Klein-Zach followed by the drinking chorus, after which the Muse reappears. The opera ends with the Muse’s closing monologue and chorus about how Hoffmann’s suffering will make him a greater artist.
Oeser (2)
Pretty similar to the short Oeser version described above. The most dramatic changes are really just in the Giulietta act, though there’s some extra material in Olympia too (that one waltzy duet I’m always gushing about) and sometimes more sung material for the Muse in the epilogue as well. Oeser’s longer Giluietta act: Has the same basic plot points, except instead of going right from Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta to Giulietta seducing Hoffmann, we get a gambling scene where Giulietta serenades the guests as they play cards, during which each of the characters gets a little moment. Then Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, and she sings sadly about her dismal situation which leads into her seduction of Hoffmann, and the rest of the act ends pretty much the same, except sometimes there’s no Septet.
Now, on to possibly the wildest of them all:
Kaye/Kecke
This one is rare; there’s only a few recordings that even attempt it, and very few get it to the letter of what these two scholars compiled. Once again, most of the changes are in the Giulietta act and Epilogue; the only real changes in the previous acts are in the orchestration of some parts. Kaye Giulietta Act: Starts pretty much the same, with the Barcarolle and Hoffmann’s derisive aria, and Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta. We get a gambling scene here too, but it’s not as long or dramatic and Giulietta gets a different aria. Hoffmann kills Schlémil for the same reasons, but it happens before Giulietta steals his reflection; essentially she’s bribing him before she pretends to fall in love with him. Hoffmann gets in trouble for killing Schlémil, and in a fit of rage tries to kill Giulietta, but kills Pitichinaccio instead. Kaye Epilogue: It starts with a chorus for the students kinda trying to talk Hoffmann down from his crazy stories. We get the same Nicklausse-Hoffmann confrontation, and the one with Stella, and a reprise of Klein-Zach, but in addition to the drinking chorus repeating we get a kind of ominous reprise of the “Glou! Glou!” chorus from the prologue, after which the Muse enters and we get the same ending monologue but it’s got some extra pieces.
So the short short version ended up pretty long huh? Anyway, I hope it's helpful!
If you want more detailed summaries to follow along with when you watch the opera, see below!
More detailed summaries!
Choudens
Choudens is one of the the first critical edits of the opera and, despite the fact that it’s been discredited multiple times, is still inexplicably used a lot and is what a lot of people think of when they think of this opera.
Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with his friend Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the song, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird. Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric saleman, enters and displays his various wares, including a variety of contraptions but primarily eyes. He manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalazani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for what she truly is and is
humiliated. Act II: Giulietta (Choudens is the only edit that has Giulietta second instead of third) Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria that gets reprised later for a different reason (keep an eye out for that). Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or "Sextet and Chorus"). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Act III: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to find Antonia for him. When the servant leaves to do so, Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that
Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him
two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann, only to find him dead drunk. He mistakes her for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. The students all leave and Hoffmann is alone with Nicklausse, who reveals himself to be the Muse of Poetry. The Muse declares her devotion to Hoffmann and asks for his in return. Hoffmann, hearing this, repeats his song from the Giulietta act, this time declaring his love for the Muse and promising to return to his art.
Oeser (1)
The short Oeser version is the other Most Commonly Seen edit (I think it’s about a tie). It's similar to the Choudens edit in many ways, with some significant additions, which are in blue below: Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to
join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia (When Oeser made his edit, he rearranged the acts to their original order, placing Antonia before Giulietta.) Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a
party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse, serenading Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist.
Oeser (2)
The long Oeser version (my personal favorite) follows the short one fairly closely; most of the major revisions are in the Giulietta act. This one is pretty rare—I’ve only found one video (which is a terrible production unfortunately) and one audio recording (which is the greatest audio recording of this opera that currently exists). New material in green text:
Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius
enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance.
Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diablical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. She and Dapertutto join the card players. Hoffmann is losing miserably, much to Nicklausse’s chagrin. Giulietta serenades the guests with a song about love, not-so-subtly aimed at Hoffmann. We get a pretty epic chorus as the game goes on. [Sometimes we also get and aria from Schlémil about having lost his shadow.] Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, giving Nicklausse his cards and asking him to finish the game for him. Nicklausse protests and tries to follow Hoffmann, but Dapertutto holds him back. Hoffmann joins Giulietta in her room. Giulietta despairs over her feeling of being trapped and suffering. Nicklausse comes in and tells Hoffmann to get ready to leave and that he’s coming back for him. He leaves, and Giulietta tells Hoffmann he should as well, but he refuses to leave her. Giulietta tells him to steal the key from Schlémil that he uses to lock her up at night, saying if he does so, she will devote herself to him. Hoffmann agrees to do so and sings his aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus) [sometimes the Septet is left out in longer Oeser edits]. Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover, Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. She calls upon the Spirits of Wine and Beer, who she says have aided her in her efforts; they repeat their chorus and disperse. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but
will make him an even greater
artist.
Kaye/Kecke
the Kaye/Kecke version is the most recent critical edition and hailed by many as the most definitive (aside from that “OG Offenbach” one I can’t find anything about). There are actually very few “true” Kaye productions out there, but a few that attempt it. A lot of the changes are just in the orchestration and, in the spoken-dialogue version, a lot of dialogue; the vast majority of the plot and action stay the same. The big differences are in the Giulietta act. Again, I’ll use some new-color text (orange) to indicate differences between this and previous editions.
Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). (also he sometimes mockingly serenades Olympia before his other aria.) Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve
the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards
Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diabolical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. (Here’s where the plot deviates, and the Oeser parts from earlier don’t appear at all.) The guests return looking for Giulietta, who sings a song for them as they play cards. Hoffmann gets distracted by Giulietta and gives Nicklausse his cards. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and convinces him to duel Schlémil to get the key to her bedroom. Hoffmann does and kills Schlémil. Nicklausse finds Hoffmann and, learning about the duel, begs Hoffmann to leave with him. Hoffmann refuses, wanting to see Giulietta. Nicklausse leaves to find a means of transportation. Giulietta returns and continues to seduce Hoffmann, who falls for her completely. She asks for his reflection as a keepsake; he’s helpless to resist her. Dapertutto returns; Giulietta relinquishes Hoffmann to him. Nicklausse returns as well, in time to find Hoffmann has lost his reflection. Once again he begs Hoffmann to leave, but Hoffmann refuses, still insistent that Giulietta loves him. The chorus returns, mocking Hoffmann for being duped. The police arrive to arrest Schlémil’s killer. Furious, Hoffmann attempts to stab Giulietta, but misses and kills Pitichinaccio, who is revealed to be her real lover. Giulietta despairs over his body, and Nicklausse finally manages to drag Hoffmann away. (There is no Septet in Kaye edits.) Epilogue Back at the tavern, the students sing a disbelieving chorus as Hoffmann finishes his tales, telling him to come back to reality. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down. He then encourages everyone (including himself) to get blackout drunk. The chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer from the prologue returns, creepily overlapping with the students’ drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song, mockingly dedicating it to Lindorf, before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. (Sometimes Stella gets an aria here, basically telling Hoffmann “you don’t know what you’re missing by rejecting me.”) Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist. (Sometimes the final chorus is extended, with comments from the other characters announcing that the future is his.)
And there you have it!
As mentioned before, there are a ton of variations on all of these. Choudens edits and short Oeser edits are often very similar, but even they will have random chunks cut here and there, sometimes move things around, and of course it’s always a toss-up which aria Niclausse is going to get in Act I and if he’ll get the Violin Aria.
If you got to the end of this, kudos. Seriously. I could barely make it through, and I elected to write the thing.
#Les contes d'Hoffmann#The Tales of Hoffmann#i hope this is helpful for people#Operablr Pride Month#opera summaries#opera histories#sorry about the weird random line skips and space#i tried to fix it multiple times but it just wouldn't work#gonna keep trying but anyway#also i hope the color coding is helpful and not confusing#but if anyone has any questions about anything here let me know :)#i am always extraordinarily happy to talk about this opera#i love it so much#if you couldn't tell lol#opera#opera tag#Jaques Offenbach#Jules Barbier#Michel Carré#i probably spent way too much time on this but you know what it was fun so definitely worth it
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Whatcha Doin?
이건 전체 과정입니다. It’s a whole process.
Description: Working in a well known dance studio, you’re used to idols filming things. But Seventeen’s Dino is different and you find him rather adorable. Don’t worry, he thinks the same of you. Warnings: None? Genre: Fluff, Idol!Dino x Fem!Reader Word Count: 2.5k
Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists
"Hey, (y/n), do you need anything from the cafe?" Lia walked over with Ben, one of the male staff members. "We're taking a mass order since it's probably going to be a long night."
I diverted my eyes away from the computer screen and puckered my lips, "Mmm. Just an Americano." I said and Ben quickly added my order to the list on his phone.
"You got it." Ben said before he zoomed out of the studio.
"Are you sure you want to stay here?" Lia asked for the second time that night, "You really don't have to."
I shook my head, "It's fine. I want to stay." My words were true. I was always curious about the making of choreographies and that side of the dance world so whenever Lia stayed late, I usually did too, just watching from the sidelines. I dabbled in the dancing side but not the making side. That I could never figure out how to do.
She nodded her head and walked back into the studio where they were setting up, awaiting the arrival of our guests for the night.
Turning back to the computer, I resumed my task of adding new sign ups to their preferred classes. A few minutes later, four boisterous men walked in behind a calm, exhausted older male. They stop at my front desk; the male leading greeting me with a small smile while the other four have wide smiles painted on their face.
"Hi, which studio?" The lead male asked.
"Studio 6." I told him and pointed to the room where Lia had disappeared not too long ago.
"Thank you." He nodded and walked away.
The other four behind him smiled and thanked me but the shortest one kept his eyes on me a few seconds longer than the rest. With a small smirk, I gave him a small nod and he quickly turned around before I could catch the blush fully take over his cheeks.
I lowered my gaze and a rush of 'what did I just do' washed over me. I knew who they were before they even showed up. This filming had been in the schedule for WEEKS. It was Seventeen's Performance Unit filming a dance thing here. Yeah, I knew who they were, and I knew Dino was the one looking at me. So what possessed me to be so bold like that? Well, probably the small ounce of 'fuck it' that comes and goes with the wind. And boy, did it leave after they walked into the studio. Luckily, embarrassment was quick to fill it's spot.
I ruffled my hair to try and ignore the impending tsunami of anxious thoughts before attempting to refocus on my screen.
I had just finished compiling the list of participants for the classes in two days when I noticed someone approaching.
"Hello." I looked up at greeted Dino with a welcoming smile.
"Hey," He said, a bit nervous, then cleared his throat. "Where's the bathroom here?"
I pointed to the hallway behind me, "Down there. It'll be the 3rd door on your left."
Dino smiled in thanks, "Alright, cool. Thanks." He said before shuffling down the hallway.
My head followed him slightly as he walked away and a small laugh bubbled in my chest. There was no denying that he was cute.
"Hey, hey." Minghao rushed up to my desk, "Have you seen Dino?"
With wide eyes, I pointed behind me at the bathrooms. "Bathroom."
Minghao tapped the ledge once before quickly walking off to the bathrooms. Not 1 minute later, he walked back out with Dino in tow.
"I told you, you should've gone before we got here." Minghao scolded the youngest.
"Blah, blah, blah." Dino playfully imitated Minghao.
I covered my mouth with my fist before lowering my head to cover up the laugh I could barely hold back. As I regained control of my composure, Ben struggled through the doors with one too many drink carriers balanced in his arms. I shot around the desk and grabbed a couple carriers full of Americanos so a disaster didn't occur.
"Remind me never to go get drinks alone." Ben joked when he's made it inside.
"I really don't know why you tried it in the first place." I told him as we walked towards the studio to deliver the drinks.
As we passed my desk, I pulled one of the Americanos out and placed it on my desk so I wouldn't forget it later.
"I really thought I could do it." Ben explains, "14 drinks doesn't seem like a lot... But then you think about it." He finishes, his whole body emphasizing the panic he felt when he 'thought' about it.
I giggled, "I think we may need to set a limit for how many you're allowed to carry."
"I will carry as many as my heart desires." Ben puffed out his chest.
I tried to respond with a quip but the music started blasting, effectively drowning and ending our conversation. We waited at the doorway as the four male idols did a soft run through of their routine. I'd watched their practices online before but there was something different about watching them in person. Like something in the air changed. If I thought about it, it almost felt like the air was buzzing with electricity and the only thing I could do was stand there and let the goosebumps take over.
Even though it was only a soft run, Dino made sure to hit all the points with power and nothing about his soft run was soft. It was all done with precision except the motions weren't as big. My head tilted to the side in admiration and I was still staring when the song ended. So zoned out that Ben had to nudge me with his elbow.
I righted myself and began handing out the drinks. With all the drinks handed out, I retreat to my little cove in the front. The sight of my Americano sitting on my desk was a nice surprise considering I had indeed forgot that it was there. I sat in my chair, stabbed the straw into the lid, and casually sipped it while leaning back. I let myself relax for a few minutes before returning back to my unfinished tasks.
Click, click. Drag. Type. Drag. Click. The same boring tasks but the music seeping out of Studio 6 was my accompaniment so I was never really bored.
"MOVE!" Hoshi's screamed, slightly startling me, as he rushed out of the studio, making a beeline for the bathroom. "I HAVE TO PEE!"
I chuckled at him urgency and peered at my phone.
"Hey." Dino announced himself as he approached my desk.
"Hey." I said back, "How's it going in there?"
He shrugged, "Well... I think. We keep changing the choreography and then have to rerecord and it's a whole process."
I giggled, "I bet. The speakers seem to be working over time."
"They can handle it." Dino scoffed playfully, "So what are you doing here this late?" He asks.
"Well, I usually stay..." I trailed off as Hoshi's screams get closer.
"Alright! Let's do this!" Hoshi reached his hands up to the ceiling, "Come on, Dino!"
"Good luck." I said quietly to Dino as he hesitated to walk away but ended up following his leader.
I watched him until he fully disappeared into the studio and even then I stared at the empty door frame a little longer.
"Is there a ghost there?" Ben asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
He stood on the other side of the desk behind me. When I turned to look at him, he was leaning his forearms on the desk with a smug look on his face.
I rolled my eyes at him, "I was just zoning out." I explained.
"Zoning out on a guy you think is cute." Ben countered, his smugness growing.
"Like you haven't thought any of the idols that pass through here weren't cute." I scrunched my nose at him, teasingly.
"I have." Ben admitted, "But you haven't. Until now."
I scoffed out a laugh, "That's not true."
I could tell he wanted to banter more about the topic but a different staff member called for him and he had to answer the call.
After 20 minutes, they called for a break and immediately, Dino reappeared at my desk.
"I realized..." He took a few breaths, still winded from the dancing, "That earlier my question may have seemed... a little crude." I watched in amusement as he continued to catch his breath while simultaneously patting away the beads of sweat. "I was asking out of pure curiosity because when we go to other places, the front desk person usually isn't there."
I pulled out a couple tissues from the box near me and handed them over. He took the tissues with a smile and started ridding his face of the sweat.
"Well, for the record," I told him, "I thought it was pure curiosity. And I like staying late to watch and listen to these filming schedules. It's very interesting to me how it all works." I leaned closer and Dino instinctively does the same, "Plus, it gives me an excuse to come into work late tomorrow."
Dino nodded his head with his mouth slightly agape like I'd just told him the biggest life hack and he's impressed.
"Has anyone seen Dino?" Jun's voice yelled from inside Studio 6 and I laughed as Dino's eyes grew wide.
"Gotta go!" He whispered and dashed back into the studio with the tissues still in his hand.
I chuckled and shook my head. It was cute the way he kept trying to strike up a conversation with me only to be immediately called back in. It was also nice that someone wanted to talk to me that badly. It didn't happen very often. Most idols ignored me when they came to film. Only ever asking me where the bathroom is. The trivial questions.
Another 15 minutes and Dino ran out of the studio, screeching to a halt in front of my desk.
"Don't have much time." He exhaled, "What's your name?"
I was not expecting him to ask that so I paused for a split second before answering him. "Uh, (y/n)."
"(y/n). Pretty." Dino smiled up to his eyes and I only have a moment to put it to memory before he ran back.
I slumped back into my chair, not believing what had just occurred. He'd asked for my name and called it pretty. I pressed my lips together and tried to control the warmth rising to my cheeks.
"Are you, are you BLUSHING?" Ben exclaimed and stopped at my desk. He leaned over close to my face and I instinctively backed away, trying to play innocent.
"No." I covered my cheeks with my hands and pouted.
"BEN!" Lia screamed, "I swear to god if you're not back here in 5 seconds!!" She didn't have to finish the threat as her tone was enough of a threat.
Without another word, Ben rushed away and I bursted into laughter. I guess there was something in the air that day that made men decide to leave their positions and nearly get in trouble for it.
After 30 minutes of scrolling through the emails and listening to Lia bark out instructions over the blaring music, they finally recorded the perfect run through. I knew because the four Seventeen members all yelled in excitement and accomplishment. Also, the staff members in the room applauded their success.
My own smile of pride grew on my face as i listen to the relieved sighs and words of congrats echo through the place. Knowing that I'll be booted out as soon as everyone else is ready (which is freakishly fast), I quickly started to save and log off of the computer. The empty coffee cup went straight into the trash and I doubled checked the computer to make sure it's successfully turned off.
I was picking up my bag when the Seventeen members walked past with their manager. Hoshi and Jun snickered and pushed Dino towards the desk.
"Hey." I said with a smile, "From what I heard, you guys were successful."
Dino nodded, nervous under the watchful eyes of his hyungs. "Took a bit, but we got it."
"I can't wait to watch it when it gets released." I told him.
"Ask her." Minghao whispered to Dino but I could still hear him.
I glanced at the other three and scrunched my eyebrows in slightly confusion.
"Uh, uhm." Dino stuttered and cleared his throat, "If we exchanged numbers, I could send it to you before it's released?" He suggested.
"Is that even allowed?" I questioned, unsure if we'd be breaking any rules by me seeing the video before it's released.
"I can ask whoever I want for their number." Dino said confidently, misunderstanding my question, "It's my phone and my company can't decide who I talk to on my own time."
I pressed my lips together, trying real hard to hold back a laugh because damn, that was cute. His sudden defense to wanting my phone number was quite attractive. Behind Dino, Jun, Hoshi, and Minghao mirrored me but they were unable to keep their laughter in.
It caused Dino to pause and glance around. Then the realization hits him and I saw him mentally face palm himself so hard.
"I'm an idiot." He muttered and I reached into my desk for a notecard.
While Dino still reveled in his embarrassment, I grabbed a pen from the holder near him and quickly wrote down my name and number. Along with my social media user, just because.
"I would love it if you talked to me." I told Dino and handed the note over.
Dino took it in his hands and gave me a small smile of confidence. "I'll text you then."
"Car's here." Their manager called from the door.
"Well, see you around, (y/n)." Dino waved goodbye as they turned to the door.
"See you around Dino." I waved back and my heart fluttered in my chest.
Hoshi clapped Dino on the back and Minghao and Jun give him proud high fives.
"Our maknae!" I heard Hoshi exclaim before the door shuts firmly behind them.
I finished packing up my stuff and made my way around the desk. I waited a few minutes until Lia walked out behind all the other staff members leaving for the night.
"You're all set?" Lia asked, eyeing the bag over my shoulder.
"Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow?" I said.
"You don't have to back here until 1." Lia told me and I inwardly scream 'yes1'
But outwardly, I calmly said, "I'll see you then." And then I walked to the front door.
I stepped outside and made it a couple steps before my phone rang with a notification.
It was from an unknown number but the message instantly told me who it was from.
It read, "It's Dino. Hope you get home okay."
#kpop#kpop imagine#seventeen#seventeen imagine#seventeen dino imagine#dino imagine#lee dino imagine#lee dino#dino#seventeen chan#seventeen chan imagine#chan imagine#lee chan#chan#writer-k-pop
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Vampire haikyuu boys. No,listen me out. Like they love volleyball,but they can't play due to the lack of blood. Then their darling ever so lovingly offers them some. Or reverse Darling is vampire and then the boys go absolutely feral for their shoulders to be pierced right through. They would absolutely starve darling,locking them up,just so their blood,and only their blood would ever pass through their lips.
I decided to go with the latter opition, if only to make this into a sort-of Monster Hunting AU. It’s just like the canon Haikyuu, except everyone has a darker color palette, comes equipped with a broadsword, and volleyball is replaced with generalized slaying, save for our lovely vampire Darling, of course. They’re allowed to pick favorites.
Title: Captivity.
TW: Imprisonment, Blood, Graphic Violence and Cannibalism.
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You couldn’t remember the last time you’d been so hungry.
You weren’t a stranger to starvation. Creatures like you were gifted with an inhumane lifespan and all the skills you need to hunt down at least one unwilling donor every month or so, but every so often, you’d find yourself wandering the streets blindly and searching for a meal after half a year of famine. You were acquainted with the salivating, the sleeplessness, the pangs of hot, pure desperation, you’d even had a fair amount of encounters with the inescapable numbness that came after the rest of it faded away. You were used to all of that. You could live that.
You weren’t used to not being able to do anything to change that, though.
That was the part you didn’t care for - your own undeniable, unfiltered helplessness.
You made a half-hearted attempt to pull against your restraints as the metal-plated door swung open, letting a fresh stream of warm summer air flow in with the night’s darkness. Your hands were bound behind your back, silver cuffs biting into your wrists and keeping you tethered to an unforgiving stone wall, the chain barely long enough to allow you to lay down, let alone explore your current prison. Still, you did your best to growl and glare and make your unhappiness known as a group of your captors entered, their names’ known and their faces’ familiar. You’d been here far too long not to know exactly kept you imprisoned.
You knew them, and yet, you refuse to acknowledge your jailors as individuals. Instead, you bowed your head and made sure your tone was resentful as possible, your loathing generalized and impersonal. Indifferent was the worst thing you could be, to them. “Let me go, humans.”
If they felt any compilation to obey, they didn’t bother indulging it. Rather, the tallest of the four scoffed, crossing his arms and stopping about halfway across the room. A good distance, a wary distance, one that emphasized caution over curiosity. “And to think, we come to do something nice for you,” Tsukishima said, watching as his companions continued to approach. “I don’t know why we bother to keep this thing alive. It’s not like it does anything to pull its weight.”
Yamaguchi paused, frowning softly as he threw his elbow into Tsukishima’s side. “That’s awfully heartless, for someone who practically dragged us through away from camp,” He countered, his stern tone melting into a laugh as his companion rolls his eyes. “Don’t pretend you aren’t excited to see (Y/n). It’s not fair, considering the rest of us have to deal with your whining.”
“Hinata whines, I point out inequity,” Tsukishima mumbled, the rebuttal quiet but impassioned. You were sure he went on, but your attention was quickly drawn away by a much braver boy, the shortest of the group, whose smile was hardly obscured by his thick, fur-lined cloak. He had no reservations when it came to approaching you, kneeling less than an arm’s length away and staring you down as he pulled off one of his gloves, his intent becoming obvious with the modest show of skin. You’d love to say something so meager had no effect on you, but you could already feel your fangs begin to emerge, prodding at your lower lip and only making you more aware of your own light-headedness, of how full he was.
Of just how long it’d been since your last meal.
He was the first to address you directly, his grin broadening with every word. You couldn’t bring yourself to mind, not when his pulse was suddenly drumming in your ears, growing louder with each passing second. “We waited a little too long this time, didn’t we?” He asked, his tone akin to that of an owner talking to their loyal pet. “I’m sorry - it’s so hard to keep track of time when we’re traveling. Sawamura wants to start leaving a few of us nearby while the other’s hunt, but I think it’d be easier to take you with us. Then, you’d get to see how cool we are when we’re not…” His gaze dropped to your restraints, quickly flickering away. “You’d like that, right? Traveling together will be so fun, when the others’ trust you as much as I do.”
“I’d rip out your throat at the first opportunity.” Your voice was flat, purposefully so, your speech only slightly distorted by your protruding canines. “The only thing I want is to get away from you and the rest of your butchers.”
“Have I ever told you how much I love your spirit?” He let out a sigh, and without further delay, he rolled up his sleeve, pale skin making itself apparent in the darkness. He was tentative, at first, moving slowly as he bent his hand back, taking care to angle his wrist so a string of thin, blue veins were merely a breath away from your lips. “Be gentle, alright? It’s been a while since my last turn, so I don’t want--”
He didn’t get a chance to finish, his words morphing into a stifled, pained moan. You didn’t try to be graceful or respectful or gentle, simply driving your fangs into his skin and biting, ripping away everything between you and the sustenance lying just below his flesh. In less than a second, it was flooding over your tongue, filling your mind with cotton and your body with euphoria and canceling out your restraints and your surroundings and your captors. For a moment, your hunger faded, and you were content. For a moment, you were no longer suffocating.
And then, someone grabbed your source by the collar, dragging him back until your fangs could no longer reach him, and the hunger was free to plague you as it wished.
“I told you not to get so close,” Kageyama spat, the sentiment frustrated, venomous. Hinata pursed his lips, glancing over his shoulder as his sense of self-preservation fought against his dissatisfaction, but Kageyama was quick to shake his head, sighing as he released the smaller boy. “Look at yourself,” He explained, gesturing vaguely towards Hinata’s wrist, now a bloody mess of tattered skin and gauged veins Yamaguchi was rushing to bandage. “It’s still a monster. You can’t forget that just because everyone’s treating it like a pet.”
“You’re so mean, Tobio,” Hinata drawled, from the blood loss or the effect your bites usually had on your victims, you couldn’t tell. “You’re just jealous that you didn’t get to feed ‘em, this time. You always get moody when it’s someone else’s turn.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, moron.” The sentiment was blunt and vague, but it didn’t take long for his focus to shift, his eyes coming to center on you. Unceremoniously, he dropped Hinata, the boy scrambling to regain his balance as Kageyama stepped towards you, his hand drifting towards the knife strapped to his belt.
The barest hint of a smile finding its way onto his expression.
“We still have to teach the mutt not to bite the hand that feeds it, don’t we?”
#yandere#yandere love#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere prompt#yandere oneshot#yandere drabble#yandere scenerio#yandere imagines#haikyuu!!#yandere haikyuu#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu!! imagines#yandere haikyuu!! imagines#haikyū!!#haikyu#haikyu!!#yandere haikyuu!!#yandere hq!!#hq!! imagines#yandere hq#hq imagines#hq#yandere hinata#hinata x reader#kageyama x reader#yandere kageyama#yandere tsukishima#tsukishima x you#tsukishima x reader
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Late Top 10 Posts of 2020!
I have fun seeing my posts rise and fall on the Top Posts list, I kind of forgot to do this before but since I have way too much time right now I decided I might as well give it a go with a bit of comentary!
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#10- Pact Marks
This one was literaly made at a moment of epiphany, I really enjoy the concept. I should mention I also really enjoyed the Unconventional Pact Marks made by @/astaroth1357, you guys should go check it out lololol
#9- Papa Mammon's Feathery Babies
This one was also an epiphany I wrote after watching videos of crows being cute, for a long while this one post was actually the second top post of all time! It still gets some rises in notes from time to time when new people find it and reblog it! And again, a huge thanks and all the love to @/hhhany82 for their great fanart made inspired on this post of mine, I was over the moon and I still am everytime I think about it ♡♡♡♡♡
#8- A Compilation of Accidents
After reading many headcanons of people using the concept of accident for agnst purposes (which are great ngl), I decided that no, accidents can make you laugh too, and so I wrote this inspired in my own personal accidents in life l o l.
#7- In What Way You Will Match With Them
After a long ass while opening dozens of tabs on my computer of matching things, writing this was hella fun. With some I had trouble deciding on what to match but in the end it was worth it uvu.
#6- MORE Small Things to Imagine
Oh man I remember exactly how I felt then. Many many times I made a small draft in an attempt to make a somewhat continuation to Small Things to Imagine but it never felt quite right. The reopening of requests at that time was really the catalyst of my inspiration. It is the shortest of the series of Small Things to Imagine but I consider it an important warm up for the reopening of requests and a weight being lifted off my shoulders!
#5- Leviathan 'Despair' Fanart
Oh my god drawing that was a pain, I did draft after draft and I was in so much agony coloring his table. But the song was so good my inspiration was on fire the entire time. You guys won't believe how happy I still am from the amount of feedback I recieved out of it. It's a simple fanart, but I felt I managed to send the exact feelings I felt from the lyrics and imagining Levi to all of you, and that makes me really proud no matter the imperfections ♡
#4- While You're Not Looking
The ammount of attention this one recieved in just one single day of being posted was NOT expected. It was again, just a moment of epiphany, and then I had many people screaming and crying in my notifications and all I could think was "oh god I broke them are you guys okay what the fuck is happening". All I had in mind while writting was literally just what they do when you're not looking, and only after some people comented on tags about the yearning this post reeked of that I realized what I wrote 😂. It skyrocketed in notes and it still has me dumbfounded lololol.
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-Honorary Mentions-
#Mammon Red String Fanart
This one is one of my absoluse prides after Belphie's 'Bad Ideas' Fanart. I was just so filled with love and soft feelings due to all the feedback I was recieving in this platform, all my insecurities and anxieties being crushed and thrown out the window. This fanart was made with pure overflowing happiness and gratefulness to all of you.
#No Thoughts, Just Demons
One of my first posts in this blog, it has been on top 3 for a good while before dropping down. It was incredibly fun to draw seeing it was literally a warmup from me staying months without drawing. I still feel sorry for the original artist of the base I used because it literally scaped my mind to credit, specially seeing I cropped the thing without paying attention to any signatures, and I also had no idea the original artist was on tumblr either, though I also didn't bother to search. The moment I accidentally found about the original artist I immediatelly went to put proper credits, but still, sorry.
#'Ho Ho Homicide' Satan Claus Fanart
Oh am I proud of this one. It took so much trouble but it was so satisfying to see it becoming it's final form. But I got so impatient I posted a literal month before christmas 😂. It's one of my favorite fanarts of all time 😏.
#Breakfast In Bed
This fucking shitpost lolololol. This was literally inspired by the fact I don't see breakfast in bed as romantic at all. Although it can be good if you can't get off the bed per example, on circunstances where you can get off the bed it's nothing short of inconvenient. But still, it's endearing to have someone go for the unnecessary trouble to have you eat breakfast in bed, and so this post was born lololololol.
#'Compilation of Flustered Sweet Stuff' Making The Brothers Flustered
Another moment of epiphany where I was high on the blushing faces of the brothers. Lucifer's frown with blushy cheeks that Satan also does, Mammon's and Beel's blushy smiles that make me go (=♡=) everytime, Levi's and Asmo's blush that just make me h o r n y, Belphie's blush that makes me want to s q u e e z e him in a hug. If I could I would make a shrine for each blushy expression from all the brothers.
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And now for the top 3!
#3- EVEN MORE Small Things To Imagine
Oh boy I was PUMPED while making that one. I was listening to the song mentioned on it the entire time and until today I still get so happy while listening to it. I consider this one the ultimate part of the Small Things to Imagine series because it's not only the longest it was also made with a lot more happy feelings than the first part, and it's even higher on top than MORE Small Things to imagine, and I am proud of it 😌
#2- Photos The Brothers Would Have of You
Literally inspired by the shitshow that is the photos both me and my brother take. My brother makes sure all pics he ever takes can become memes, while I always search to take pictures from people at their most natural, even if it means a blurry pic of them laughing in an awkward position, and so I merged mine and my brother's tendencies and this post was born! And honestly I don't think anyone should be ashamed of drolling in their sleep, it's normal lololol, and I do from time to time too!
And finally...
#1- Small Things To Imagine
The number 1 top post that never lost it's position not even once ever since first posted. Not only was it one of my first posts of this blog it is also my most popular to the point it appears on the top posts of the Obey Me Headcanons tag. I am extremelly proud of this post, thank you everyone for their feedback on it and all the love sent to me, it really boosted my energy at the time ♡♡♡♡♡
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Thank you everyone for all the love I recieved in this short 3/4 months of activity! May 2021 give us a break!!
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i wanna know what love is - 07
Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader
Warnings: fertility talk
A/N: sebastian is in his early 30′s in this fanfic, idk if i’ve ever mentioned it before but i felt i should say it so no one’s confused. let me know what you guys think, i love receiving your feedback always warms my heart listening to your opinions xx
Last Chapter // Next Chapter
Y/N woke up to a different yet pleasant environment. The bus had stopped and there were no bumps that could wake her up and the sun was shining into the bus and all she could hear were people on the outside laughing following for some movie. She raised her torso from the bed where she was covered by yellow papers and walked over to the window, pulling the curtains to come to sight with what she had heard and seen for years in pop culture. Las Vegas.
The lights were off as it was daytime but she could see the grandeur of everything. Y/N had only been to Vegas when she was a young girl with her father who was accompanying her mother to a writing gig and stuff seemed to remain the same.
Sebastian took zero time to wake up once he felt the bright light hit his eyes. No matter what people said, waking up sober to bright daylight was somehow worse than waking up hangover to bright daylight. He lifted his head to stare at what he thought was his brain playing tricks on him. Y/N was looking out the window, back turned to him in the shortest, tightest shorts that enhanced her backside. This had to be his mind playing tricks on him.
- We’re in Vegas. - she rushed to his side. - C’mon, we gotta go out.
- No. You go out, I’m tired and too important. - he turned to the other side, grabbing her fluffy white to cover over his head and try to stop the light from hitting his face. Y/N however was determined to get him to wake up, after all the boys and Sherrie had left already so she had no one else to go with her and going out by herself sounded like trouble. Y/N pushed the cover off him and onto the floor. - Go piss off someone else.
- Put a shirt on and let’s go. - she crossed her arms, one foot on top of the covers so he couldn’t push it over himself again. Defeated, he lifted his torso, rubbing his face and eyes to stare at the woman in front of him. - C’mon, don’t you wanna see Sherrie before she goes back to her work place?
- I already had sex with her and said goodbye. - he groaned, looking at her with hatred in his eyes. There was nothing he hated more than having his precious sleep interrupted. But yet again he was fighting Y/N over going outside and she really wanted to. - Go meet the boys at the venue, they’ll take you.
- I’ll pay for breakfast. - she said, poking his cheek with her baby pink painted nail. Sebastian could not refuse free breakfast, specially when he was in Vegas and everything was over the top.
The rockstar got up from his bed, looking at the mess of yellow papers and polaroids. He didn’t exactly remember if they had finished compiling them but he sure hoped they had because there was no way it would be possible to organise everything once again. He heard her say thank you as he walked to his own room to get dressed.
Y/N on the other hand was jumping around in her room like a little kid, grabbing clothes out of her closet and deciding what to wear. She lived in New York most of the year so she normally had little to no summer clothes but she found a nice short white summer dress. She grabbed her bag to check if she had her wallet, fully knowing he’d only gotten the rockstar to wake up due to free breakfast, and walked outside her room to find him in his usual dark jeans and a white shirt, cap and sunglasses on.
- You do realise that wearing a cap and sunglasses doesn’t exactly count as a disguise, right? You still look like you do cocaine on Fridays. - she looked over everything on the kitchen to check if the guys had left the stove on, which wouldn’t be the first time. She swore that living in this bus was a constant “when will I die” contest.
- I don’t do cocaine, that’s for newbies.
- I’m sorry I don’t know what’s your favourite dying poison.
- Poison would kill you so why add dying before poison, that’s just redundant. You’re a writer you should know that. - he grinned, happy he had corrected miss perfect but instead of getting the sweet satisfaction of watching her explain herself in fluster, she just opened the door and started walking straight ahead. - Hey sweetheart, do you know where you’re going?
- I’ll google it. - she kept walking like a child whose mother told them no candy at a shop isle. Sebastian smiled to himself and started walking behind her as she asked Siri what cafes were close by. She shifted to the left as they walked into the centre Vegas.
Sebastian always hated Vegas, it was loud and showy. He had enough to entertain himself with in the city but if he was asked to do a forever tour in one of the casinos that would be a no for him. The only good thing about the Vegas stops in all of his tours were that his bandmates wives would come to visit them so everyone would be off his back. Besides, the other good thing was that Sherrie would finally be off his back to go back to her job at the Hard Rock cafe. He wasn’t a fan of having the same girl next to him for longer than a week.
He was so lost in thoughts that he didn’t notice the young writer stop in front of a smallish cafe. Once she stopped, he woke from his thought filled mind and looked at the building in front of him. It was small, homey, not like his style but he guessed there was a smaller chance of people noticing him. She leaned against the door, opening it and making the bell sound calling for the attention of some of the customers who had disgusted looks on their faces. Y/N gave them a shy smile, once again feeling embarrassed by the fact that she had interrupted someone’s meal. However, Sebastian was having none of that.
- Isn’t this a lovely cafe, honey? - he wrapped his arm around her, gaining a confused look from her. - Sorry fellas, we’re a bit late in our honeymoon schedule, late for breakfast.
A bunch of the people who had given her dirty looks, immediately started to apologise making Sebastian grin to himself. There was something he knew for sure and it was that people loved not to stop a newly wed couples plan with their dirty looks, besides, if someone was gonna berate her for going for breakfast at 11 AM it would be him, not a bunch of lazy people.
They got into a table by the window and Y/N took one of the laminated menus, her hair falling in front of her face as she studied what she could have for food. Sebastian found himself looking at her, the way her face twitched every time she saw something she didn’t like.
- I found a typo. - she said, a huge smile in her face. - They wrote ceasar salad instead of caesar salad.
- You’re such a nerd. - he rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face as he returned to pick what to have for breakfast. An old lady reached their table, holding a small waitress pad.
- You two are such a beautiful couple, how long have you known each other.
- We are ... - Y/N was about to come clean, she hated lying, but Sebastian was having the time of his life making people fell bad about giving them dirty looks, so he was not ready to let this go.
- Five wonderful years, isn’t it so babe? - he reached his hand to touch hers but she still gave him the “touch me again, you’re dead” look. - Gotta enjoy our honeymoon before we start trying for a little one.
- What can I get you two, sweethearts? - she asked and Y/N smiled at the mention of finally getting some food.
- I’ll get a full English and Buck’s Fizz, thank you. - Sebastian handed her the menu as Y/N finished looking at the menu.
- I’d like some Eggs Benedict with a Diet coke, please. - she handed her the menu too, putting her hands on top of her lap. The old woman gave her a puzzling look. - Is there something wrong?
- Soda is not good if you’re trying for a little one. - she said making Y/N immediately shot a look that only translated into his death sentence.
- You heard her babe, better not have that diet coke. - he tapped her hand, trying not to burst out laughing at the devastated look the writer had in her face.
- Freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice is better for fertility, sweetheart. I’ll add that to your order. - the old woman turned and walked back to the kitchen leaving Y/N to cross her arms at Sebastian who was wheezing in silence at her face.
- Damn daddy, I sure hope that juice makes me magically pregnant. - she mocked him, looking at the table next to her being served the nicest coldest glass of Diet Coke. Sebastian, on the other hand, grew flustered at her words, looking out into the window. - I can’t believe they would believe I would marry you, much less try for a baby.
- Look, there is a lower chance of people thinking I’m me if we keep pretending we’re married and trying for a baby.
- That makes no sense. Besides, I’d rather die slowly than have to carry your offspring. - she mumbled as the lady came back with a tray containing their order and lacking her beloved Diet Coke. Y/N adored Diet Coke which was a controversial choice but back in university she used to down two cans of it per day while revising in the library. Cut to present day and she still enjoys a nice cold glass of Diet Coke with a slice of lemon. Instead, replacing heaven in a bottle, stood the freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice. She didn’t even like grapefruit, it was too sour for her.
She placed the metal tray on the table, placing Sebastian’s order in front of him and Y/N’s in front of hers along with a bowl of wild berries. She looked up to the old woman, quizzing if she had ordered it or if it was a mistake.
- Berries are good for the baby, sweetheart. It’s on the house. - she gave them a kind smile and left them to their food. Y/N shrugged, a gut feeling of guilt but yet again she loved berries and free berries sounded good to her.
- So ... - she burst her egg yolks using her fork, her question stuck in her head and failing to come out. She didn’t want him to get annoyed at her, not when they had spent more than an hour without bickering. - Do you wanna get married and have kids?
- Too late for that. - he chuckled but it wasn’t his normal chuckle, it wasn’t that chuckle she had gotten used to.
- You’re in your early 30′s, Sebastian. Besides, men are technically fertile until the end of their lives.
- Men like me don’t get married, we continue our life until no girl wants to lay down with us and then we disappear into oblivion.
- Is that what you want? Oblivion? - she questioned, one of her eyebrows raised at his comment.
- It’s not about what I want anymore. What about you, kids and engagement in the cards for you?
- I used to want it but I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to get married if love is something that’s not everlasting. Besides, I do have to work. - she gave him that sweet smile of hers. - Why are you leaving the band? For real, why don’t you wanna be part of it anymore?
- Just felt like it.
- You know, I don’t believe you’re a “just felt like it” type of guy so you gotta lie better to me.
- Anyhow, we’re moving into a hotel for the rest of the week so I won’t be annoying you during the nights anymore.
#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan fanfic#sebastian stan AU#bucky barnes imagine
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We Grow Together (28)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tessa Sullivan (OFC)
Chapter Summary: Tessa begins some light undercover work while Bucky pouts in the background... And Clint sheds some light on what happened years ago in Minsk.
Summary: Relationships can be tough, especially when one person is a recovering-from-being-brainwashed-and-tortured former assassin and the other is an overworked mutant scientist. But hey, every couple has their struggles. Right?
They all agreed – some more begrudgingly than others – that it would be a good idea for Tessa to see what she could find out from Cal before getting in any deeper with Lobe. The ingenious businessman, as he had referred to himself, had invited Tessa to come out to his temporary facility outside of Albany. But try as they might, none of them could find anything about this mysterious site. And – “You’re not going out to some off-the-radar science lab on your own. Not with the current lack of intel we have.” – Steve was the one giving the orders.
Well, if intel is what he wants...
“I’m telling you,” she says, as Natasha hooks up the not-even-remotely-noticeable bug in the hem of her sweater, “He’s not going to help.”
Steve looms in the foreground, arms folded across his chest. “He doesn’t have to help. Just get him talking and we can sift through all of it later.”
“It’s looking like this might be more than we thought,” Clint mumbles from his position at the conference table. He’s busy looking through all of the virtual files that he and Nat had spent the last few days compiling. Swiping through another page on the holoscreen in front of him, he says simply, “Since all of the Terrigenesis stuff started, people have been paying more and more attention to… super people.” He glances up to raise a single eyebrow at Tessa. “Depending on what his end game is, this Lobe guy could be the next big bad.”
“Then by all means, let’s go waste some time grabbing coffee with some crony instead of figuring out what the big bad is up to,” she snarks with a pout.
Natasha triggers the bug to make sure everything is set up and pats Tessa on the shoulder. “You’re good,” she tells her. “Just don’t conveniently spill a drink on it when you two start in about the past.” She shoots her a playful, crooked smile before turning to gather her things.
“Alright,” Steve starts, manner and voice all business. “I’ll be in the back of the café.” He moves over to Tessa and gently reaches out to grab her shoulders. “I know this should go without saying, but do not leave my sight.”
She rolls her eyes. “You really think I’d take off with him?”
“I might,” Nat mutters from across the room.
“That,” Steve intones, pointing at Natasha, “is why you three are all off comms.”
Clint rises and shuts down the computer in front of him. “See? Once again, your sexual appetite has us sidelined.”
Natasha cocks a brow in his direction. “My sexual appetite has gotten us out of more jams than it’s ever gotten us into.”
Steve visibly winces. “Enough. Come on, guys. Can we just… not?”
Natasha shrugs and shoves some equipment into Bucky’s hands. He almost drops it and has to regain his balance as she piles more crap into his arms. “Make yourself useful, Sargent,” she tells him. “You can’t just stand there brooding in silence all day.”
“I don’t know,” Clint says as he takes some of the load off Bucky. “If anybody can do it, he can.” He gives the silent, gloomy looking man a wink and heads for the door.
000
It makes perfect sense, of course, that the three of them would be sequestered in a van down the block. Well, maybe it doesn’t really makes sense why all three of them would be… Natasha was the only one actually needed in here working the recording equipment. But Clint wasn’t about to sit any part of this out. And Bucky was obviously not going to let Tessa go out there without being close by. Even if no one really believed that she was in any danger.
After all, this was just a simple, casual meetup with a potentially knowledgeable contact who might be able to supply some intel on what now seemed to be an ongoing op. Fine. No big deal. His lab rat girl was just now invariably working out in the field. He could handle that.
Well, he’d be able to handle it a lot better if he had her in his sights. And if he had a weapon, some sort of recourse, in case something did go wrong. But no sniper should be needed today – especially not one who admittedly kind of wants to blow off the head of the guy she’s meeting with.
“How you holding up, Barnes?” Clint asks as he bumps Bucky’s shoulder with his.
He sighs, long and loud. “I’m not used to being non-essential.”
“Yeah, well… Think of this,” he says, sweeping his hand across the tight space of the cargo van, “as a chance to play stakeout. It’s like we’re the FBI!”
“Hunting down mob bosses?” Natasha supplies as she hands each of them an earpiece. There won’t be any comms going, so they can’t talk to Tessa. And they’ll only be in contact with Steve if something goes wrong. But thanks to the high-tech bug in Tessa’s sweater, they’ll be able to hear everything going on at the café down the block.
“Exactly.” His smile fades a bit when he looks back over at Bucky and notices the concerned look on his face. “Did you two get a chance to talk?” he asks him in a low tone. Natasha would be able to hear, of course, there’s barely a foot of space between them. But his voice makes it clear that this talk is between just the two of them.
He nods. “Yeah. We’re good.”
“Cause, you know, the other day… we were just joking around. I mean… I was there at the tail end of their thing. It wasn’t anything like what you and Doc have.”
The sincerity in his voice, makes the corners of Bucky’s lips quirk up into a small smile. “I know,” he says. Then, his face transforming into a confused sort of pout. “I forgot you said that you met him. That was when you first met Tessa, right?”
Clint settles back into the cushioned bench that runs the length of the van. “Yep. Minsk.”
“Funny, isn’t it? How we mark moments in our lives by either the name of the op or the location of the mission,” Natasha utters, without turning around. She continues to busy herself with the recording equipment, doing one final test to make sure everything is working as it should.
Clint lets out just the shortest of chuckles. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“So what happened there?” Bucky asks, genuine interest perking his voice.
Clint gives him a suspicious look. “She never told you?”
He shakes his head. “In case you haven’t noticed, Tessa’s not great about sharing things from her past.”
Natasha finally turns and joins the men in the rear of the van, all equipment up and running. “Did you know she graduated from med school when she was 23?” she asks incredulously. “I only found that out last year.”
“How’d she manage that?” Clint asks, taken aback.
She merely shrugs. “That, she did not share.”
He pulls in a deep breath and drops his raised brows. “Well… the thing in Minsk was kind of a shit show.”
“You were sent by Fury, right?”
He nods. “Genetech had a facility on Long Island that was shut down back in the 1980s. SHIELD found out about some nanocontagion they’d let loose, and they moved in and took out the whole operation. Or so they thought,” he says with a glint. “Fury heard rumblings about the company starting up again in Eastern Europe, so he sent a couple of us to go check it out.”
“Who’d you go with?” she asks.
He shrugs. “McAllen.”
“Ugh,” she responds, obviously sharing his less-then-enthused view of whoever Agent McAllen is.
“So Genetech was what?” Bucky inquires. “Some kind of medical lab?”
“Hardly,” Natasha answers. “They were a powerful med firm, specializing in genetic research. They were started by a guy who designed bio-weapons with Howard Stark.”
“Can’t say they were always exactly reputable,” Clint intones. “But they did manage to get a big following in the scientific community. No surprise, really, that some new facility popped up even after the company was supposedly shut down.”
“And no surprise that someone like Tessa would want to work there,” Natasha says simply.
“True,” Clint declares. “But, she knew something was up. And she was the only one there willing to help me figure out what it was.”
“What was it?” Bucky asks.
“Long story short? They were engineering a gene that would mutate when exposed to radioactive energy.” He frowns briefly. “I’m still not really sure about the science of it, but the theory was that, if they could introduce it into a human host, and then expose the host to radioactive material, they could create a… super person.”
Bucky grimaces. “A super soldier?”
He cocks his head as if to say, maybe. “The higherups didn’t really share their plans with Doc… and she was the only one who shared anything with me.”
“So wait,” Natasha interrupts, suddenly onto something. “The radioactive genes, or whatever they were… the samples that Tessa accused Calvin of stealing – ”
“One and the same.” He clears his throat before going on. “I shared some confidential intel with Doc about what Genetech had been up to all those years ago. And she agreed to hand over some files on the work they’d been doing. But before she could get them all copied, the facility went on lockdown – with us trapped in it – because samples of the nearly perfected genes had been stolen. She knew right away who did it. Went on a little tirade in the office while alarms were going off around us. I just wanted to get the hell out of there, and she’s mumbling and yelling about how that son of a bitch had sworn he was there for her and not some damn job.” He smiles and shakes his head. “Whew, she was pissed.”
“How did you get out?” Natasha asks. Her chin rests on her fist as she watches the man, clearly enthralled by his story.
“Right, well. First we got caught. Armed guards rushed the office, saw we were stealing files. Chaos ensues… yada yada yada,” he says, waving his hand in a glib gesture. “I got shot. Doc let loose.”
Bucky frowns. “She used her powers?”
“Yep. Smoked ‘em. All eight of them. They just… dropped.” He takes in a deep breath. “She got us out of there and we holed up in this old factory outside of town while she fixed me up.” He turns to Bucky and says, utter sincerity lacing his words, “That was about two weeks before my daughter was born. If not for Doc, I never would have gotten to know my little girl. Never would’ve even made Nathaniel.” With a small smile, he tells him, “I’m never gonna be able to repay her for that.”
Natasha scoffs. “Sounds like you never would’ve been in that position if it hadn’t been for that asshole Calvin.”
“Oh ho,” Clint says, raising a brow, “So now you agree he’s an asshole? Is your crush fading?”
She shrugs. “He’s still hot as hell. But it sounds like he almost got two of my best friends killed. So if I meet him, I might just have to end him.”
Bucky looks to Clint, curiosity lacing his features. “You said you met him?”
“Ah, yeah,” he breathes out. “During my first meeting with Doc… I showed up a little early at this bar and saw them together. He was laughing and whispering in her ear and shit. And she was looking not amused. I stopped him on his way out of the bar… asked if he was an American… you know, play the whole what a small world card. He told me he was in Minsk on business, but would only be in town a few more days. I asked about the woman he was with at the bar, if she was his girlfriend… small talk,” he says with a wink. “The guy just laughs and says when I want her to be. Prick. Then he lights up a cigarette, shakes my hand, and disappears into the night.”
“And no one ever caught him? After stealing the samples?” Natasha asks.
“Nah. Doc said he was sort of a mercenary… doing whatever needed to be done for whoever was the highest bidder. So it was no surprise he managed to disappear. That guy in Africa, the one that Ultron got the vibranium from? Saw Calvin with him in some photos taken about ten years back. That’s the kind of guy he is. Anyway, it was just a few months after Minsk that he got made by MI-6… doing some kind of dirty deal. But then he conveniently got blown up in a car bomb before they could nail him.”
Bucky lets out an irritated huff from his corner of the van. “Nice,” he says with a nod. “Good story. I feel much better about this guy now.”
Clint laughs and slaps him on the shoulder. “The takeaway from all of this is that Doc’s been done with that guy for years. And she knows who he really is. She’s not gonna get sucked into his lies or manipulation.”
“I never really expected her to,” he mumbles.
Clint takes in the thoughtful expression on Bucky’s face and adds, “She’s grown up a lot since then. I, for one, think she’s been making much better decisions.”
The corner of Natasha’s mouth quirks up. “Yeah, from asshole mercenary to brooding ex-assassin.”
Clint tosses a reproachful look over his shoulder at her. “Even I think that was crass.” He turns back to Bucky. “Sarge, after what she did for me, I’ll have Doc’s back for life. So if I thought she was wasting her time with someone who didn’t deserve her, I’d chase him off in a heartbeat.”
Bucky cocks his head at the man to his right. “You haven’t been trying to chase me off these last couple years?” he asks with a smirk. “You’re saying this is just how you are?”
Clint snorts. “Hilarious. See?” he says, turning to Natasha. “They’re made for each other.”
She throws up a silencing hand and presses the earpiece into her ear. “We’re on,” she says, tone suddenly all business. “The asshole is in the building.”
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x oc#bucky barnes x oc#bucky barnes x original female character#bucky x original female character#marvel fanfic#avengers fanfiction#supernova#artists on tumblr
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Etemon Arc
Surprisingly, for the arc considered to be the most forgettable, I actually have quite a bit to say about it. Mostly because it’s forgettable, and why that could be the case. (Other than just the fact that it’s the shortest arc, which is also a thing).
The biggest problem with this arc is the fact that when you boil it down, it’s about Taichi. Adventure is at its strongest when it shifts its focus around and you get to spend time with all of the characters. That doesn’t happen much here.
Taichi finds his crest first, gets all dumb about it and acts like a dick, Agumon dark evolves into SkullGreymon filling the both of them with guilt, and while he’s able to evolve back into Agumon after degenerating to Koromon, he’s unable to reach Greymon. They get special training in some weird dimension to be able to evolve again, and Taichi seems to have grown, but then they learn they’re in a world of data which Taichi takes to mean they’re invincible and he starts acting like a dick once again. Once Koushiro clarifies that no, they can probably still die, Taichi is overcome with fear of death and is unable to save Sora from being kidnapped. In rescuing her and facing his fear, he’s able to activate the Crest of Courage, Greymon evolves to MetalGreymon, they ‘defeat’ Etemon and are then sucked back into the real world, end of arc.
What do the other characters do during this? Not much. They each find their crests, but they don’t get focus episodes for that, and instead maybe get a short moment, but it takes a backseat to Taichi’s plot. There’s a general hopelessness about the group, and concern over if they can raise their Digimon partners correctly, but this is show in brief moments and lines of dialogue. (The group was already struggling before Taichi disappeared, it’s not much of a surprise it fell apart after.) There are some nice little character moments here, Takeru doing his best to keep the mood of the group up despite only recently dealing with Angemon’s death (that’s a point for another day), Yamato and Koushiro’s cute little bonding adventure, Mimi’s reluctance to even find her crest after the SkullGremon event, but these all take place on the side of the main Taichi plot.
I do think the Taichi plot is a good one, but it really could have used more time with the other characters, especially in-between his two acting like a dick events. They happen so close to each other it’s like, really Taichi? Again? We’re doing this again? Stop being a dick Taichi! But, it is what it is, and at least it’s over quickly I guess. It’s unfortunate though, since I think there is potential here for a much stronger arc. Oh well.
Some random observations!
1. What is with the weird thing with the girls taking baths in this arc? It’s a short arc, and yet there’s the Mimi in the bath scene, and then them taking showers on the boat which involves a slow pan over their discarded clothes and then has them running around in towels. Was that really necessary? It feels so much more gross than the bath scene in the mansion in Devimon’s arc.
2. In episode 3 they made a point to split the night watch shifts among the older boys and leave the girls and Takeru out of it. However, this arc shows Sora taking over for Taichi during a night watch. Yay for gender equality.
3. I’ll definitely talk more about Takeru once I compile my data, but connecting him dealing with the aftermath of Angemon to the aftermath of the divorce is one big old ow.
#digimon#digimon adventure#meta#i binged this arc in one day and then had to word vomit#don't mind me#i don't know what i'm talking about#takeru project
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Multiverse Saga: Taken!Altertale - Chapter 6
Rhosaith stared up at the bright blue sky above her, a cool breeze passing over her pressurized EVA suit and into the street beyond. Looking back down at the cup of tea in her hand, she raised the cup to a straw that connected to her rebreather, allowing the liquid from the outside world to pass through to her beckoning mouth. Finishing the mug, she placed it on the table beside her, placed a few golden coins beside it, and stood up, placing her wide-brimmed hat back onto her head. She then looked back up at the sky.
She knew, of course, that the sky wasn't real. It was just the projection of a screen to give everybody a warmer comfort of home. If one looked carefully, they could even see the upward curve of the land further ahead on the tube.
The Nexus is what they called it. A giant space station roaming the great void of the inter-universal expanse, serving as the capital to the multi-universe initiative known as the Multiverse Alliance.
Rhosaith sighed. No matter what wilderness existed, whether it be the forests of Earth, the vacuum of space, the void between stars, galaxies, or even universes, or even across dimensional boundaries, there was always going to be somebody who got the bright idea to bring civilization along with.
"Rhosaith." a digital voice sounded in her ear.
"What is it, Hamlet?" she asked.
"There's a reclamation party being formed near the Spires to retake a pre-rift universe."
"So?" she said lethargically.
"It may be a good source of information regarding this multiverse at large."
"That's nice."
As Rhosaith walked along, her long coat billowing in the sudden gust, she completely disappeared, re-appearing just outside a door.
Realizing what just happened, Rhosaith, let out an exhausted sigh.
"You should at least try and do what you have been tasked. If nothing else, then to simply make it look like you're doing something." Hamlet said.
Rhosaith looked contemplatively at the door.
"Fine." she said after a minute, taking a firm hold of the door and sliding it to the side.
The room within was made of a dark metal. Within, sitting in a few chairs that were scattered throughout the room, were a number of people. Five Rho recognized to be Sanses. One was a Papyrus, and another was a Chara. The last two in the room were skeletons, though of no base Rho recognized right off.
Closing the door behind her, she walked further into the room, towards the nearest chair.
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, HUMAN!!!" one of the Sanses shouted.
Rhosaith stopped moving and looked over at one of the groups of Sanses, where three of them were gathered together. One of them, the shortest of the three, was pointing right at Rhosaith. Everyone in the room, in fact, looked at the Sans.
"Er... yes?" Rhosaith asked. "Was there something you needed?"
"I have no idea who you are!" the Sans declared. "This is an awful thing that I simply cannot stand have continue!" the Sans walked over to Rhosaith and outstretched his hand. "I'm Sans. Obviously. Most people call me Blueberry to avoid confusion, though. What's your name?"
"I'm, er, Rhosaith." Rhosaith said, taking Blueberry's hand. "Nice to meet you, uh, Blueberry."
"The pleasure is all mine! Mweh heh heh!!!"
Rhosaith looked over the Sans. He reminded her of Papyrus in a way. A confident step permeated each of his strides as he returned to the other two Sanses that he was with.
Reaching the other two, he immediately started chatting heartily with them, stars practically forming in his eyes from the excitement.
The other two Sanses Blueberry was with looked just about as excitable as he was. One of them wore a turquoise tunic with a great big yellow cloak resting on his shoulders; the pin holding the cloak on being a large red orb with a big white star on it. The other Sans featured a mostly brown outfit, the most dominant features being the large brown scarf around his neck, the light blue jacket tied around his waist, and the giant paintbrush strapped to his back. A dark blue sash filled with vials of paint, like an ammo sash, decorated his chest. Blueberry himself featured a mostly blue outfit, a shorter cobalt scarf around his neck, with a more grey-blue shirt and pants, returning to cobalt for his gloves and boots; the rims of which were lined with yellow.
Looking to the other three-member team situated nearby, Rhosaith spotted a Sans, who looked pretty basic—wearing a blue jacket over a white shirt, and black shorts, with blue sneakers finishing off his outfit. Beside the Sans sat a Papyrus, who wore much the same, but orange rather than blue; with the jacket being a hoodie instead. Next to them also sat a Chara, whose outfit was in the same vein as Sans's and Papyrus's—a green jacket rather than a blue or orange, dark brown pants, and red boots and gloves.
The next group, a pair of skeletons, stood against the door-side wall. One of the skeletons wore nothing other than a blue backpack and a dark-grey cloak so tattered, it was practically a few ribbons. Looking carefully, Rhosaith thought she spotted something that resembled a finger-bone hanging off the front of the pelvis. The other skeleton wore a striped, white button-up shirt, black slacks, and brown shoes. Holding up the pants were black suspenders that looped over the skeleton's shoulders. They seemed deep in conversation and didn't seem to pay any mind to Rho.
On the other side of the room, standing with his back in the corner, was another Sans. This one featured a white sweatshirt and sweatpants, ending in black socks and white slippers. Over it all was a great blue long-coat with a hood over the Sans's head. The ends of the sleeves and the hood were covered in white fluff. Though she couldn't get a clear look from where she was, Rhosaith thought she also saw black lines streaking from the bottom of the Sans's eyes down to the base of his mandible.
Finally resting down into the seat she'd chosen when Blueberry approached her, the door at the front of the room opened, and another skeleton-Monster walked in. Bundled in her arms was a bunch of papers and binders and the like.
"If I could have your attention." the skeleton said, placing the papers on a desk at the front of the room. She looked over the ten people situated around, all of which were now staring at her.
"Is this everyone?" she asked.
"I haven't seen anyone else come in." the classic-Sans said. "So I guess so."
"Don't worry about the numbers!" Chara chimed in. "You've got the Bad Time Trio and the Star Sanses on the case."
The skeleton looked thoughtfully at the two groups.
"Hmm. Yes, I suppose you're right." she said, readjusting her glasses. "In that case, let us begin."
The light in the room dimmed to nothing as a large hologram appeared in the room.
"Six months ago, a pre-rift universe, universe AlT-113CO was attacked by a Destroyer—the identity of which remains unknown. Since the attack, Alliance scouts have surveyed the universe without drawing attention from the Destroyer. Their findings have shown that the universe, which was coded before the attack, is now physical."
"Whoa, whoa, hold it. Time out for a second here." the naked skeleton said, his accent sounding Brooklyn in origin. "Universes don't just turn from coded to physical. You sure your scouts got the right place?"
"While you are right in one regard," the brown Sans with Blueberry interrupted, "there have been reports of universes changing behavior before this, like UnT-214, which also turned from coded to physical. Before being coded, though, it was a game. This is one of the reasons why the standardized universal classification system doesn't commonly include the suffix in archive."
"Er, thank you, Ink." the presenter skeleton said. "If I may return to the briefing."
Ink!Sans waved his hand for her to continue.
"The objections, uh..." she looked down at a paper in her hand. "S.T brought up are valid, however. Despite this phenomenon being well-known, it is still unclear what, or who, causes a universe to switch behavior. As of right now, the scouts believe the Destroyer to be responsible for this."
Almost immediately, murmuring erupted within the groups, all of which quelled when the white Sans in the back boomed his voice.
"What information do the scouts have on the Destroyer?" he asked.
"Not much at all, I'm afraid." she answered, looking down at her paper. "I'm afraid I'm also at something of a disadvantage. I don't have your name documented."
"Just call me 4."
"Alright, 4." she wrote a 4 in the margins of the paper she was holding. "Er, like I said, not much is known of this Destroyer. What information the scouts managed to get on him just shows him to be a Sans; one from a UnF universe, by the looks of things."
A picture of the Destroyer flashed into the hologram. It was a Sans, though with a large hole in the upper part of his skull. Other than that, the only other notable difference was the bright white right eye he possessed.
4 huffed upon seeing the picture, his eyes sharpening into a deadly focus. 4 turned to leave.
"Wh-where are you going, 4?" the skeleton asked.
"I have what I need. I'm gonna go 'liberate' that universe. I'll meet you all there."
With 4 leaving, the others got up and moved to leave as well.
"W-w-wait!" the skeleton pleaded. "I haven't finished yet."
"It's fine, lady." Chara said. "Like 4 said, we got what we need. We'll be fine."
One by one, against the frantic requests of the presenter, everyone in the room left. Everyone, that is, other than Rhosaith, who was still sitting in her chair.
"Excuse me, miss?" Rhosaith said as the last of the other mercenaries left.
The presenter looked over at Rhosaith.
"Do you have a digital copy of your presentation? I'd like to have one."
The presenter’s face brightened up at Rhosaith's request, quickly pulling a data chit from her pocket.
"Thank you." Rho said, taking the chit and stuffing it in her own pocket. She then stood up. "Thank you for compiling all this data for us, I'm sure it may come in handy." She, too, then left the room.
"You see?" Hamlet chided. "I told you going to that meeting would be useful."
"Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Just take me to my ship, already."
"As you wish, Madam."
Rhosaith then vanished completely from the Nexus.
The doors to the elevator door finally slid open, and Rhosaith stepped out into her personal cabin. Despite having unbelievable technology, more advanced than anything she'd ever seen elsewhere, Rhosaith preferred to hold to what she called "simpler tech". Not wanting to force her own decisions on those that served her, teleportation pads and personal teleporters were strewn all across the grand space leviathan that was her flagship. Despite this, she still rode the elevator to her cabin.
Upon arriving, she took off her black wide-brimmed hat and long black coat, hanging them on a nearby coatrack. Stepping towards her bed, the black EVA suit she wore dematerialized from her form, so that all she wore when she hit the mattress was a plain white shirt and white pants. The very clothes she wore when she was taken.
Her own personal cabin was devoid of color. The walls, door, floor, ceiling, and even all the furniture within—with minor exceptions—were white; making the coat and hat hanging on the coatrack stand out far more than they should have.
Turning her head to the nightstand beside her bed, she looked at a picture that stood on its surface. This picture served as one of the only sources of color within the room. Picking it up, she brought it over and hugged it tightly to her chest.
"Oh Frisk..." she muttered quietly. "Were it that these cursed machines had not taken me from thee, I would be there by thine side even now. Alas, for it be not so. Here am I, far from thine side. Far from thy warm embrace. Thy bronze skin. Thy pleasant bodily aroma that never ceased to calm me."
Rhosaith pulled the picture from her chest and stared at its contents. It was a picture of two Humans. Herself, and a man beside her.
"If fickle fate had it be that we meet again, oh the speed to which I'd press my lips to thine." Rho leaned forward and kissed the part of the picture where the man was. "But alas, it cannot be. I am here, and thou art there. Far away, out of reach."
Tears slowly leaked from Rhosaith's eyes. Try as she might to stop their flow, she soon gave in and held the picture firmly to her chest once again.
"I miss you so much, Frisk..." she wept upon the bed sheets until her eyes ran red, and she finally fell asleep.
"Rhosaith." a digital voice echoed in the room. "Rhosaith."
"Mmm..." Rhosaith mumbled.
"We're nearing the universe known as 'AlT-113'. It's time for you to wake up."
Rhosaith sat up, the picture frame still in hand.
"How far out are we?" she asked through a yawn.
"Only a few minutes. You may teleport in at any time."
"Great." Rhosaith stepped over the side of the bed, replacing the picture back onto the stand.
"I heard you weeping again." the digital voice said after a minute.
"I thought I told you to not spy on me when I'm in here." Rhosaith scolded.
"Apologies, Madam."
"Geez, Hamlet. It's the one place I've closed off to everyone but me. At the very least, I should feel like I'm not being watched or listened to in this one single room."
"Again, apologies. It won't happen again."
"Yeah, until it does."
Rhosaith stood up from the bed. Stepping away, a cleansing wave flew over Rho's body in an instant, cleaning it of excess debris. A second later, Rho's EVA suit rematerialized around her, and she stepped towards her coat and hat, putting them on as well. When she finished doing up the coat, blades materialized around the leg-half, enclosing the half somewhat like a skirt. Beneath the covers of her coat, a holster also materialized, attached to her leg—within, a handle was held firm.
"Alright." Rhosaith said. "Let's go."
In an instant, Rhosaith was teleported from the ship down to the universe, AlT-113.
Taken!Altertale : Tactical Briefing
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