#from that shared truth that lewis talks about

[pucksandpower]

Playing Cupid

Max Verstappen x Red Bull driver!Reader

Summary: convinced that you and Max must be the most oblivious people on earth, the rest of the grid decide to take matters into their own hands

“Hey, I bet I can beat you to the debrief room!” Max’s voice carries through the paddock, his familiar smile in place.

You roll your eyes, a smirk playing on your lips. “You always say that and yet here we are.”

He chuckles, brushing a strand of his hair away from his face, “Optimism, it’s just part of my charm.”

“You mean your delusion?” You tease, nudging him with your elbow.

There’s a pause as you both make your way, the chatter of crew members a steady background hum as Max’s laughter and your shared jokes create a bubble around the two of you.

“You two are like the dynamic duo of Red Bull,” Daniel pipes up from where he’s leaning against the wall with his signature grin stretching across his face. “Batman and Robin vibes.”

You glance at Max, raising an eyebrow. “Batman and Robin? More like Tom and Jerry.”

Max snorts. “Which one am I?”

“Definitely Tom. Always chasing but never quite catching up.” You stick out your tongue playfully.

Daniel shakes his head with a laugh, “The chemistry though! It’s electric. The entire grid sees it.”

You look puzzled, glancing at Max whose face mirrors your own. “What are you on about, Danny?”

Before he can reply, Max’s race engineer joins in, “He’s not wrong. It’s like watching two magnets circle each other, not knowing they’re meant to connect.”

Max shrugs, looking slightly embarrassed at GP’s observation, “We’re just good friends. Teammates. That’s all.”

You nod in agreement. “Exactly! Just because we joke around doesn’t mean—”

“—there’s anything more,” Max finishes for you, the two of you so in sync it makes GP and Daniel exchange amused glances.

“Whatever you say,” GP chuckles.

The day wears on, filled with the usual press conferences, race strategies, and banter. But now, there’s an underlying hum, a question that seems to have spread among the drivers and teams: what if?

In the evening, as you’re about to make your way back to the hotel, Lewis sidles up to you. “You and Max, huh? That’s something. The fans will love it.”

You blink in surprise. “We’re just teammates. That’s all.”

He winks. “For now.”

You just laugh it off, not sure how to respond.

Later that night, you and Max find yourselves in a private corner of your hotel restaurant, both tired but satisfied. “Did Lewis say something weird to you too?” Max asks, sipping his drink.

You nod. “About us. I mean, we’re close, but all this talk ... it’s a bit strange, right?”

He sighs, “Yeah. Just because two people get along doesn’t mean they’re ... you know, together together.”

You chuckle. “Exactly. We’re friends. Best friends. That’s all.”

***

“Truth or dare!” The booming voice with an enthusiastic Australian accent echoes across the lounge where a few of the drivers have gathered post-qualifying, hoping to unwind.

Max groans from beside you. “Do we have to? Every time it ends up embarrassing at least one of us.”

You nudge him, laughing. “Oh, come on. Scared of a little dare, Verstappen?”

Daniel’s eyes gleam with mischief. “Exactly. What are you so afraid of, Maxie? Maybe revealing a certain ... secret?”

Lando, lounging on a sofa, chips in, “Or maybe singing a serenade for a certain someone?”

Max’s cheeks turn a shade redder while you feel your own face heat up. “I think Danny and Lando are in cahoots,” you whisper to Max, who chuckles in agreement.

“Alright, alright,” Max concedes, “Truth or dare. Bring it on.”

Daniel’s smile widens even further, a clear sign that he’s up to no good. “Okay, Max. Truth or dare?”

Max hesitates for a split second. “Dare.”

Daniel rubs his hands together with a surprisingly convincing evil smirk. “I dare you to serenade ...” He deliberately drags out the suspense, glancing around the room before pointing directly at you, “... your lovely teammate here.”

The room erupts into laughter and teasing. “Oh, this is going to be good!”

Max looks at you apologetically but there’s a playful glint in his eye. “Alright, alright. What song?”

You shake your head, already giggling in anticipation of what is to come. “Surprise me.”

Gathering courage, Max stands up, clearing his throat dramatically. He looks right into your eyes, a playful glint in his, and starts singing “I Want It That Way” … mostly.

“Tell me why … I keep crashing into walls. Tell me why … I can’t seem to win them all. Tell me why … I never want to hear you say, box box box box box.”

You laugh so hard that tears stream down your face. The room is filled with laughter, claps, and a few playful boos (mostly from Charles who seem partially traumatized by the mention of boxing).

“That’s officially the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done for me,” you say, sarcasm dripping from your words.

Max takes a bow, still red-faced. “Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week.”

As the night winds down and the group starts to disperse, Daniel sidles up to you. “Soooooo …. did the serenade work?”

You laugh, “It was entertaining, to say the least. But Max and I ...” You trail off, not sure how to put your relationship into words.

“It’s alright,” Daniel nods understandingly and for a moment you actually think he might stop scheming to get the two of you together. But then he winks, “Sometimes the best things take time.”

***

“Formula 1 is as much about connections off the track as it is on,” Lewis begins, his voice smooth, measured, a practiced art in front of the cameras during the press conference. Flashbulbs click and reporters scribble notes. “Sometimes those connections are ... more than what meets the eye. Wouldn’t you agree?”

You raise an eyebrow. Next to you, Max shuffles slightly awkwardly.

Before you can answer, Lewis continues, eyes glinting with mischief, “For instance, teams with two drivers who might be ... more than just teammates?” His gaze flits subtly between you and Max, a tiny smirk playing on his lips.

Max laughs it off. “Talking about you and George? Or was it back with Nico?”

A ripple of laughter flows through the conference room and you bite back a smile, appreciating Max’s deflection.

Lewis grins, completely unfazed. “Good one. But no, I’ve heard some rumors about another team ... one that rhymes with Bed Rull, perhaps?”

Now you feel the need to intervene, “Rumors are just that, Lewis. Rumors. Max and I are teammates, good friends. Nothing more.” You keep your voice light but firm.

“But isn’t it interesting,” Lewis ponders aloud, “how two people can spend so much time together, share so many experiences, practically think with the same brain, and still not notice a ... deeper connection?”

Max’s eyes meet yours briefly, a momentary search for an answer, a reaction perhaps. But as quick as the look is, it’s gone.

After finishing up with media, Charles shoots a dimpled smile your way. “Quite the interview by Lewis, huh? He’s not usually one for gossip.”

You laugh. “Trying to stir the pot, I guess. Maybe he’s bored? Everyone loves a good love story.”

Charles nods, his gaze a bit more serious. “But sometimes … sometimes rumors are built on a foundation of truth. Even if you don’t see it.”

You mull over his words but before you can respond, Max joins the conversation. “Is everyone becoming a relationship expert these days or something?”

Charles just shrugs with an impish grin. “Maybe we all just want to see our friends happy.”

The comment gives you pause. Is that all this is? Friendly teasing? Or is there something more you’re missing? Something right in front of you that you’re not seeing?

But for now, as you and Max head back towards the Red Bull motorhome, you push those thoughts aside, determined to focus on the upcoming race and the challenge it presents.

***

“Fancy seeing you here!” Your team principal greets you, his tone feigning surprise as you walk into the upscale restaurant.

Max squints at him suspiciously. “You invited us both here, Christian.”

“Yes, a lovely team dinner. Just the three of us,” Christian confirms with an overly innocent smile as he guides you both to a table by the window.

The setting is intimate, with soft lighting and plush seating. A live harpist is serenading diners. It’s definitely not your typical “team dinner.”

“Christian,” you muse aloud, “this place looks a tad extravagant for a casual dinner, does it not?”

He shrugs, a smile still in place. “Consider it a treat for the team’s recent successes.”

Before you can continue your line of questioning, a waiter approaches to take your orders. You and Max share a conspiratorial glance.

“I’ll have the lobster bisque to start. With extra lobster,” Max begins, deciding to indulge.

“I’ll take the osetra caviar. You can bring the entire tin. With extra blini,” you add, grinning as you see Christian’s eyes widen.

Christian clears his throat. “Well, I actually just remembered an urgent call I have to take. Enjoy the meal, you two.” And with that, he hurries away, leaving you both chuckling.

Max leans in with a whisper, “Do you think he’s up to something?”

“Absolutely. Let’s make him pay ... literally. He did say it’s on him.”

Safe to say that you both enjoy the finest dishes the restaurant has to offer. “At this rate,” you joke as the waiter opens your second bottle of ridiculously expensive wine, “Red Bull is going to break the budget cap because of catering. Again.”

Throughout the meal, you and Max discuss the recent upgrades to your cars, dissecting each detail with genuine interest and passion. The conversation flows easily but is entirely centered on racing.

Unbeknownst to you both, scattered around the restaurant are various team members and drivers in disguises, watching your every move. From Daniel donning a fake mustache as he pretends to be a waiter to Yuki wearing a chef’s hat peeking out of the kitchen, they’re all there and all invested in the outcome of the evening.

From his spot behind the bar, Lando, sporting a terrible wig, groans. “They’re just talking about tire degradation! This is so frustrating.”

Charles, disguised as a saxophonist with a carefully trimmed goatee, chimes in, “I thought this would be it. This setting is perfect.”

Back at your table, you raise your glass. “To another successful season and having amazing teammates.”

Max clinks his glass against yours, laughing. “Cheers to that!”

As you leave, completely oblivious to your undercover audience, the collective sigh of exasperation from the team members is almost audible even over the live music.

***

“What’s this?” You lift the elegantly wrapped package from your locker, examining the tag which reads: From Fernando - Enjoy the relaxation.

Max, peering over your shoulder, also pulls out a similar package from his locker. “Looks like we both got gifts.”

Ripping open the delicate paper, you pull out a luxurious pamphlet. The cover boasts a serene image of a spa, complete with candle-lit rooms and peaceful landscapes. Max’s eyes widen as he realizes he’s got the same one.

“A couples spa retreat?” Max reads aloud, an eyebrow raised in amusement. “Really?”

Fernando, passing by at that exact moment, grins cheekily. “Thought you two could use some relaxation and a day off the track.”

“Very thoughtful of you,” you reply, peering up at him skeptically, “But why a couples retreat?”

Fernando shrugs, the picture of innocence. “It had the best reviews. Just trying to be a good friend.”

Max laughs, rolling his eyes. “Well, thanks for the ... thoughtful gift. Might as well use it.”

And so, you find yourself at the spa, wrapped in plush robes as the gentle hum of soft music and flowing water fills the air.

Max, his feet soaking in a warm tub and a clay mask setting on his face, looks over at you. “You think this was another one of their schemes to get us together?”

You laugh, dipping your toes into the fragrant water. “At this point, nothing would surprise me.”

The day goes on with various treatments — massages, scrubs, and mud baths. But instead of talking about personal lives or diving deep into emotions, you both end up discussing the possible benefits of the treatments.

“You know,” Max muses as he receives a deep tissue massage, “this technique might help with muscle fatigue after long races.”

You, getting a foot massage, nod in agreement. “Absolutely. And the mud bath we took earlier? Might help with detoxifying after particularly sweaty race weekends.”

The spa therapists, used to couples sharing intimate moments, are clearly bemused by your discussions.

Later, as you both relax in the sauna, Fernando sneaks a peek through a small window, hoping to catch a romantic moment. But to his chagrin, he finds you both animatedly discussing the aerodynamics of your cars.

“Did you notice the slight drag on the left during the last turn?” You ask, wiping away sweat.

Max nods. “I’ve been meaning to bring that up. We need to discuss that with the team.”

Fernando sighs, leaning against the wall outside the sauna. “They’re hopeless,” he mutters to himself.

He approaches you both later, looking slightly defeated. “So, the spa day? Did it perhaps help ... bring you two closer?”

You smile, patting him on the shoulder. “It was amazing for our driving techniques. Thanks, Fernando.”

Max nods in agreement, “Best spa day ever. We’re thinking of making it a regular thing.”

Fernando groans, realizing that his plan, like all the others, has somehow backfired. “I give up. You two are impossible.”

***

“Beach volleyball? Seriously?” Max raises an eyebrow, looking at the makeshift court that Lando and George have set up on the sand.

George grins, passing a volleyball between his hands. “Thought it’d be a fun way to unwind. And we’ve set the teams so it’s fair and ... interesting.”

Lando winks. “You and Y/N are paired up, of course. We thought you two could use some quality time together.”

You roll your eyes but can’t help the smirk that forms on your lips. “Let me guess, another one of your schemes to play matchmaker?”

Lando feigns shock. “Us? We would never.”

You laugh, pulling Max towards your side of the makeshift court. “Alright then, let’s do this. Prepare to be schooled, boys.”

What was meant to be a friendly match quickly turns intense. Max and you make a formidable team. The chemistry on the track seamlessly transitions to the sand, both of you equally competitive and always anticipating the other’s next moves.

“I didn’t know you two were this good!” George pants, hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath.

You wink at him, taking your position. “There’s a lot you don’t know about us.”

Neither you nor Max are willing to give an inch. Diving saves, powerful spikes, and clever feints — you both are in it to win it.

Lando, gasping and covered in sand, mutters to George, “This was supposed to be fun. Not an Olympic match.”

The final point arrives, with you and Max at an advantage. Lando, attempting a weak serve, sends the ball perfectly to you. With a powerful run-up, you spike the ball back directly towards him. It’s fast, precise, and ... it ends up hitting Lando square in his balls.

He collapses on the hot sand, groaning. The surrounding crowd winces empathetically but you and Max? You both burst into uncontrollable laughter, falling to your knees for an entirely different reason.

“Lando!” George rushes to his side, a mix of concern and amusement on his face.

Still on the ground, Lando whines, “There go my chances of ever having kids.”

Max, between fits of laughter, manages to say, “Sorry, mate. But that was ... epic.”

You nod in agreement, offering Lando a hand. “Next time, be prepared if you’re going to challenge us. We don’t do things by halves.”

Lando takes your hand to pull himself up. “Noted. No more volleyball with you two.”

***

“Whoa,” Max blinks, staring at his phone screen. “Did you just text me?”

You frown, looking up from your own phone. “No, why?”

He shows you the screen where a message pops up, supposedly from you:

I’ve been meaning to tell you

I think I have feelings for you

Your eyes widen in shock. “I definitely didn’t send that. Wait …” You check your phone, finding a similar message supposedly from Max:

Ever since we became teammates, I’ve felt something more

Do you feel the same?

Confused, you show Max the message. The two of you exchange bewildered glances. “What is happening?” He asks, genuinely perplexed.

You shake your head. “Someone must think it’s funny to play a game with us.”

From a distance, behind the pit wall, Pierre Gasly is trying hard to suppress his laughter, watching the two of you. He nudges Charles who is next to him. “Do you think they bought it?”

Charles grins, “Knowing those two, they will probably figure it out. But it was worth the shot.”

Back at your spot, Max raises an eyebrow, “Did you by any chance get a new number recently?”

You nod. “Yeah, last week. Remember I gave it to you when we flew in? But only the team and our friends have it. Who would pull such a prank?”

Max smirks, “I have a few suspects in mind.”

You both decide to play along, typing away furiously. Max’s smirk grows wider with every passing second. “Let’s see how much our prankster likes the cards being reversed.”

Minutes later, Pierre’s phone buzzes. It’s a message from Max:

I’m so relieved you feel the same

How about dinner tonight?

Somewhere private?

Pierre’s eyes widen in surprise. He quickly checks your supposed response:

Of course I do!

Can’t believe we waited this long to admit our feelings

See you tonight? Let’s meet in the lobby for drinks and maybe dessert if you’re lucky ❤️

Pierre gulps, shooting a panicked look at Charles. “I think I’ve made a huge mistake.”

Charles snickers. “Oh, this is going to be good.”

Later in the day, Pierre approaches with guilt basically stamped across his forehead. “Look, about the texts you got …”

You grin. “Figured it out, did you?”

Max chuckles, clapping Pierre on the back. “Nice try but despite what you may think, we’re not complete idiots. ”

Pierre sighs in relief. “Honestly, I thought I might have ignited something real for a moment there.”

You laugh, “I would hope any grand confession of love I receive happens through something other than sneaky texts.”

Pierre nods, smiling sheepishly. “Fair enough. But hey, if you ever do decide to go for a romantic dinner, let me know. It’s on me.”

Max grins, “Deal.”

***

The paddock is transformed. A massive screen is set up, loungers and bean bags are spread around, and fairy lights dangle from above as a large screen and projector take center stage.

“Rom-coms?” Max squints at the list Charles is holding, a collection of the cheesiest, most cliche romantic movies available.

Charles grins, unashamed. “Best way to set the mood, right?”

You laugh, “Still trying to make Lestappen happen?”

Charles blushes. “That was one time! Besides, I have moved on to more ... realistic goals.”

Lando pops up from behind a popcorn stand, “Like getting you two to finally see what’s right in front of you.”

You roll your eyes, playfully pelting a handful of popcorn at his head. “Enough with the matchmaking.”

The movie starts and it’s clear that every spot has been strategically taken, leaving just one chair available. Daniel points to your teammate with a deceivingly innocent expression, “Why don’t you sit on Max’s lap? Save space.”

Max doesn’t miss a beat. “Or you could give up your seat and come sit on my lap yourself.”

The surrounding drivers erupt in laughter as Daniel smiles widely, conceding the point. You both end up squeezing into the chair somehow.

As the movie plays, instead of getting swept up in the romance, you both start dissecting it.

“Why would she run in the rain after him? That’s just asking for pneumonia,” Max comments as the heroine dashes through a downpour.

You nod in agreement, “And those heels? Totally impractical. She should have changed into boots.”

Charles groans, burying his face in his hands. “This isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

George pats his hair sympathetically, “You tried. That’s what matters.”

As the movie reaches its climax with a grand chase through the airport, you muse, “You know, airports have strict security. How did he even get to the gate without a boarding pass?”

Max nods, “And the plane? Totally off. They used the wrong model. That one can’t fly long-haul.”

Charles jumps up in exasperation. “That’s it! No more movies. You two are ridiculous.”

You grin, throwing an arm around Max. “Oh, come on. Admit it … you love us.”

Max chuckles, “Thanks for the movie night. Learned a lot about airport logistics and practical footwear.”

Charles sighs but a smile tugs at his lips. “We’re really not being paid enough for this.”

***

“Team-building exercise?” Max echoes. Both of you are seated in Christian’s office, a mysterious smile playing on the team principal’s lips.

Christian nods, gesturing to the woman beside him. “This is Dr. Amelia Foster, a top relationship expert.”

You exchange a hesitant glance with Max. “Relationship expert? But we’re not a couple.”

Dr. Foster chuckles, adjusting her glasses. “I’m not here for romantic purposes. I help partners of all kinds communicate better. Even teammates.”

Max leans forward. “So, what’s the plan?”

Christian clears his throat. “A simple session. See if there’s any room for improvement in your communication. I mean, you two are already a great team. Imagine if you were even better?”

Dr. Foster nods, opening her notebook. “Let’s start with a basic exercise. Max, describe how you feel when Y/N makes a risky move.”

Max thinks for a moment. “Concerned, I guess. I trust her skills but I also worry about her safety.”

You smile, touched. “And I feel proud when Max nails a difficult maneuver. He has an instinct during races that is unmatched.”

The session continues, delving into how you view each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and driving styles. As the conversation flows, Dr. Foster introduces various communication techniques.

“Now, let’s practice active listening,” she suggests. “Y/N, tell Max something, and Max, you’ll repeat it back in your own words.”

You nod. “Alright. Sometimes, when we’re racing side by side, I wish you would give me a tiny bit more space.”

Max considers then responds, “You’d like me to be a bit more cautious and ensure you have enough room during close races.”

Dr. Foster claps her hands. “Excellent! See? It’s about mutually understanding and validating each other’s perspectives.”

By the end of the session, both of you are genuinely engrossed in the exercises, seeing the potential benefits for your on-track dynamic.

As you both leave, Max turns to you, excitement in his eyes. “That technique where we visualize the other’s perspective? That could be a game-changer during races!”

You nod in agreement. “Absolutely! And the active listening can help during debriefs. Ensure we’re always on the same page.”

Christian, waiting outside, is initially hopeful upon seeing your animated discussion. “So, did the two of you ... connect?”

Max grins, “Oh, we did! I think our communication on the track is going to be better than ever.”

Christian sighs, realizing his matchmaking attempt has gone astray once again. “Not quite what I had in mind but I’ll take it for now.”

***

“I swear, rain at a race weekend is the universe’s way of telling us to slow down,” you quip, leaning back in your chair as the rain pours outside.

Max chuckles from his seat next to you. “Or it’s just weather. But I prefer your explanation.”

The sound of the rain has already lulled a group of mechanics to sleep. There’s an unexpected calm with the usual bustle of the race on hold.

You pull out your phone, browsing your music. “Let’s trade favorite songs. Bet I can surprise you with my taste.”

Max opens his own music app. “Challenge accepted.”

You play an indie track that has become your recent favorite. Max listens thoughtfully, “Never pegged you for an indie fan.”

You shrug, “Life’s full of surprises. Your turn.”

He selects a familiar classic rock track that makes you grin. “Bohemian Rhapsody? Really?”

He smirks, “Told you, surprises.”

“I’m mostly just surprised it’s not 33 Max Verstappen,” you tease.

As the afternoon stretches on, the music transitions to shared stories. You talk about your childhood, the early days of karting, the struggles, and triumphs. He shares his own tales, moments that shaped him, the highs and lows of his journey.

“Remember our first race as teammates?” He asks, a soft smile playing on his lips.

You laugh, “How could I forget? You almost ran me off the track.”

He chuckles, “Defensive driving. But you held your ground. Earned my respect that day.”

“And you earned mine,” you reminisce. “Not just as a driver but as a person.”

The atmosphere shifts, the mood turning contemplative. The stories become more personal, more intimate. You share your fears, dreams, and hopes. The raw honesty of the moment creates a bridge, a connection neither of you realized was missing.

Max looks at you, his gaze intense. “You know, despite all the teasing from the others, the setups, and the jokes, I never stopped to really see ... us.”

You nod, feeling a warmth spread through you. “I’ve been so focused on the track, on our partnership as teammates, that I never paused to consider the possibility of ... something more.”

He reaches out to gently take your hand, sending a jolt of electricity up your arm. “Maybe it’s time we did.”

You look into his eyes, seeing your own emotions reflected back, and smile. “Maybe it is.”

***

The roar of the crowd is deafening as you both step onto the podium. The last race had been intense, with both of you claiming the top spots. Max, in first, and you, a close second. The excitement is contagious, the air electric.

Max turns to you, the gleam of victory in his eyes mirrored by another emotion that has been growing since that rainy day. Without another word, he pulls you close, capturing your lips in a kiss that feels like a victory all on its own.

The crowd goes wild, cheering and whistling. But what draws your attention as you pull away, breathless, is the reaction of the grid below.

Lando jumps up, punching the air. “Yes!”

Charles grins, clapping his hands together. “Told you it’d happen on the podium!”

Daniel, laughing, shouts, “Pay up, everyone! I had this race in the betting pool.”

Confused, you turn to Max, who shrugs, just as out of the loop.

Later, as the celebrations continue, Pierre pulls you both aside, showing a clip on his phone. It’s a video from a few months ago, all the drivers and Christian huddled together, placing bets on a whiteboard labeled When Will Max and Y/N Finally Stop Being Blind?

You laugh, watching the clip. “Of course you all managed to turn our love life into a game.”

Max wraps an arm around you. “Well, they do say racing is all about strategy and timing.”

Lando approaches with a pout. “You couldn’t wait a bit longer? I was two races off.”

Daniel, counting his winnings, smirks. “Better luck next time.”

Christian shakes his head with a laugh but pulls both of you in for a hug. “Never thought I’d be so happy to lose 50 quid. Congrats, you two.”

Surrounded by the people who spent most of the season trying to make this happen, you realize that love, like racing, has its own unpredictable course. Because sometimes, the best races aren’t on the track. They’re the ones that lead to unexpected, beautiful destinations.

[mauvecherie-writes]

the kaleidoscope theory: l.hamilton.

• pairing: lewis hamilton x black!oc kalani halloway

• chapter warnings: none

• w.c: 3.8K

• ru’s 💌: First thing first, I want to apologise for how long it took to post this. With school and placement taking up a lot of my time, amongst other distractions and my mental health just not being the best for a while, writing has not been my main priority, and I am trying to make up for that now. Updates will be slow, but they won’t be non-existent. Please don’t forget to like, comment and re-blog.

• tip: kofi | paypal

series masterlist

CHAPTER ONE

PRESENT DAY

“ARE you sure that you want to keep doing this with him Lani? Like I love you and I’ll always be in your corner, but I have to agree with your therapist here. What are you gaining from continuing to sleep with Malik?”

The bluntness of the question almost knocked the wind out of Kalani’s lungs. Over the decades of their friendship, she had come to know that Julian did not pull any punches when it came to honesty. It should not have shocked her that her best friend would react like this to the revelation of such news. Maybe it was the exasperation and disappointment that she picked up in his tone that made Kalani want to shrivel into herself from shame.

“Lani!” His voice boomed through the car speaker, breaking her train of thought. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.” She mumbled as her hands tightened around the stirring wheel.

“Well, are you going to answer my question or not?”

“It was a moment of weakness okay!” She exclaimed, finally admitting it to herself and to her best friend. “There was always an excuse to get me alone. To discuss the divorce or something about the kids. And he’d just … he would charm me, and I would be reminded of why I fell in love with him in the first place then I’d give in.”

“Tuh.” Julian scoffed. “Talk of the divorce like he’s not trying to distract you from the fact that he has not signed those papers.” He added, the truth causing her shoulder to sag as she leaned back into her seat.

“I know.”

“Baby, I’m not trying to make you upset —.” He sighed, speaking in a much tender tone. But it was too late. The shame that had been brewing in her stomach for so long had bubbled back up her throat.

“I just need you to really think about this. It has been two years since you have asked for the divorce, Malik keeps stalling signing the papers, under the guise of trying to make it work. But we all know that he is still with that bitch. Like he can’t have his cake and eat it too. He doesn’t have any regard for who he’s hurting and that is you and the kids. I need you to be better than your weakness for him. It’s not fair.”

His words were hurtful to hear but Kalani could not argue against them because she knew that they were true. That is why she had decided to begin therapy. She had not slept with Malik in over six months since she had started her therapy session. This round, Kalani had finally shared the truth that she had on tinted with intimacy with her ex-husband despite the separation.

“I KNOW.” Kalani sniffed as her tears threatened to spill over. The tremble in her voice could not be hidden and Julian picked up on it.

“Lani, listen-.”

“Hey, so um — I gotta go. I need to pick up Princess from my aunt’s place.” Kalani quickly spoke out as she rounded the corner into a residential street. “Talk later.”

She did not wait for him to respond as she ended the phone call. Kalani took a deep breath as she put the car into an empty parking spot. She continued to sulk in her seat as the heaviness in her chest had returned. Everything that Julian had said to her were all things that she knew and had known from the first time, she had slept with him after they split.

Stuck in the moment, every time they had done the deed had felt good. In some way, it had felt like she had been reclaiming her power. It felt good to know that in some way, her ex still wanted her. In Kalani’s need to be desired by the man that she was married to for nearly twenty years, she had momentarily lost herself and had forgotten what was important.

The happiness of her children.

So Kalani took in a deep breath and exhaled, wiped away her tears and re-applied her lip gloss. She practised her smile in the rear-view mirror until she was satisfied with a more approachable facial expression. She got out of her car and fixed the legs of her pantsuit before she walked a short distance on the pathway and onto the property.

It did not take any time from her opening the small front gate for the front door to be opened.

“Mummy!” The excited shriek of her young daughter sounded through the air as her little feet carried her as fast as they could towards her. Kalani immediately dent down to her level and opened her arms, waiting for her daughter. She dived into her arms and Kalani could just feel all of that heaviness began to lift away from her heart. As her daughter squeezed her little around her neck, Kalani immediately felt better.

“Hi, my Princess!” She smiled at Tiara. Princess’s little giggles were what she got in response as she pulled back to look into her mother’s eyes.

“I missed you so much, Mummy.”

“I missed you too! Did you enjoy school and time with Auntie Angie?”

“Mhm!” Tiara nodded her head as she played with Kalani’s earrings. “Today, I learnt what a doing word is! And then Auntie Angie baked me a banana cake.”

“The cake is for all of you, not just you baby.” Aunt Angela spoke from behind Tiara which caused Kalani to chuckle as a frown appeared on her little girl’s face.

“Emi doesn’t like banana cake as much as I do!” Tiara exclaimed.

“I know baby. But can we at least save a piece for brother first?”

“Okay.” Her small voice of defeat made Kalani’s heart swoon. She cradled her daughter’s head to her chest as she walked towards the door where Angela had been standing with Tiara’s belongings and the wrapped up banana cake.

“Hi sweetie.” Angela had greeted her as she awkwardly hugged Kalani.

“Hi Auntie.” She replied. It was like she could feel the love outpouring from the embrace. And it took all of her strength to not break down then and there.

“You okay?” Angela asked her. Kalani softly nodded her head, not trusting her words in that moment. She took a deep breath before offering a smile of re-assurance.

“Just need my baby.” Kalani replied. “Thank you for looking after her today.”

“You never have to thank me for that. I love Princess and I love spending time with her.”

After a couple of more minutes of casual conversation, Kalani and Tiara said their goodbyes and then left her aunt’s home. On the journey to pick up Emil, she sang along to the current kid bops that Tiara was currently enjoying. Her daughter filled the car with chatter about what her day at school was and repeated stories of previous adventures. Kalani did not mind at all. Hearing her daughter talk was far more enjoyable than being left with the chaos that was her thoughts.

~

When they had arrived at the local sports and leisure centre, Kalani noticed that by the outdoor astroturf, there was a larger crowd than there should be for a practice on an early Wednesday evening . She walked hand in hand with Tiara towards the grounds and smiled when she noticed the crowds full of young and old cheering on.

No matter how much Emil had tried to teach her, there were still aspects of the game of football that she would never understand. However, that never changed how much Kalani cheered on Emil and supported him. She knew that he had fallen in love with football due to Malik’s love for the sport, his passion came from within, and Emil had the talent to match. If Emil was willing to play, then Kalani was going to do everything that she could to make sure that he continued to play to his greatest heights.

From where Kalani stood, she could tell that it was an intense game for a practise but neither the Red nor Green sides seemed to care. When Emil touched the ball, he sprinted across the field with incredible of the ball and passing by the red players who were trying to defend. Emil then passed the ball to another green player who was open. This player then quickly shot the ball into the net, scoring the winning goal.

The crowd, including Kalani and Tiara cheered for the green shirts.

The game came to an end and with the crowds beginning to disperse, Tiara shot away from Kalani’s side and ran towards his older brother as she screamed his name. She smiled as she watched Emil pick up his little sister and throw her into the air, catch her and then spin her around.

As she proudly watched the moment, she caught a growing crowd from the corner of her eye. She noticed a man standing in the middle with the biggest smile on his face as he tried to greet every one that was surrounding him. That bright smile with the small tooth gap was the first thing that caught her attention. His twisted strands were in a ponytail, but his sides and beard were nicely trimmed in a way that brought attention to his chiselled facial features. Kalani’s eyes travelled to his large and muscular tatted arms that even with his bronzed, umber complexion, the design of the tattooed sleeves stood out. He was dressed simply, in a black, sleeveless knitted vest and what looked like black trousers. Kalani had spent too much time staring at him for her to notice that his jewellery was expensive and some of it was probably custom made.

As if picking up on her inquisitive eyes, the man looked up and stared right at her. She had never seen such an intense yet sincere pair of eyes that were the smoothest of chocolate brown. Kalani bit her lip in embarrassment at being caught looking when he smiled at her. She quickly averted her gaze to her children, who were walking towards her and tried not to think about why the stranger felt vaguely familiar.

“Hi Mum.” Emil greeted her as he placed Tiara down on her feet before reaching towards her and giving her a sideways hug. Kalani reciprocated the hg and patted his sweat drenched curls.

“Hi baby, you were great out there.” She complimented him which caused him to grin.

“Thank you.” He smiled at her.

“Any particular reason why you guys were playing like it was the finals of the Premier League?”

“Oh! The owner of the centre is here, and we just wanted to impress him I guess.”

“You were out there acting like he’s like a talent scout.” Kalani chuckled.

“He might as well be. He used to be a sportsperson, so he knows a lot of people.”

“Like Mbappa right?”

“Mbappé, Mum. Mbappé.” Emil corrected her with a roll to his eyes.

“Well, whatever his name is.” Kalani shrugged her shoulders and then picked Tiara into her arms. “Anyway, go get your stuff. We need to be home before 8:30.”

For a fraction of a moment, she saw her son’s gleeful demeanour slip. He nodded his head and then jogged away. Kalani watched as he stopped and talked to the same man that she had made eye contact with. The joy in his face was back once more and it eased the tension within her. She was sending them to their fathers’ for the weekend as she needed some time to herself to re-charge before she embarked on a large project at work.

However, Emil had made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing to do with the man that he had once idolised. Emil confessed to enduring the visit for the sake of Tiara, who was still trying to adjust to the separation.

When he came back, they all hurdled into the car and they drove back home, not before stopping for a takeaway pizza collection.

After they had arrived back at their home, Kalani rushed her children to take their evening showers before preparing their bags.

Kalani stayed downstairs as she prepared their dinner. Alongside the pizza, she made a simple arugula salad with cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and a balsamic dressing. Once she had set the table and could finally take a sip of her white wine.

She dreaded the weekends when her children were away. Because it forced her to think. It forced her evaluate every single decision that led to this very moment that she was currently residing in.

Her hatred for Malik increased.

Memories of their past floated in front of her. Her and Malik dancing around the kitchen as they cooked whilst Emil set the kitchen table and Tiara narrating stories from her vivid imagination.

They were so happy.

They were so in love.

Where in the fuck did he ever find the time to cheat on her? She wondered.

That was a question that she never got an answer to. And it was a question, she was afraid of what the answer may be. It just was not something that she was ready to confront. Kalani was left to deal with all of that harbouring anger all alone.

“Mummy look! Me and Emi are matching!” Tiara rushed rushed down the stairs with Emil in tow. When Kalani turned her head towards their direction, a laughter full of elation burst from her when she noted that the duo were indeed matching. Tiara was dressed in a hot pink Nike tracksuit that was a contrast to Emil’s grey one.

“She wasn’t going to wear anything else.” Emil commented as they entered the large kitchen area, approaching the sink to wash their hands.

“That’s okay. Princess just wants to be like her big brother huh.” Kalani smiled as she smoothed her daughter’s hair.

“Yep!” Tiara gave them her dazzling smile. “Except, I don’t like football, and he doesn’t like banana cake!” The little girl stated before her focus shifted to the slices of banana cake on the table. “Ooouuu caaaakkee.”

“Not so fast, young lady!” Kalani spoke up which stopped Tiara in her tracks. “Can you eat some pizza first before the cake?”

“Okay, Mummy.” She pouted as she moved to sit down in her chair by the table. Emil shook his his head as he plated a slice of pizza for himself before sitting down.

They sat in silence as they ate their food, but Kalani could tell from her son’s solemn expression that something was bothering him.

“You okay baby?” She asked him as a worried expression marked her face.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He offered her a smile that she didn’t believe.

“You sure? You know that you can always talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just -.” Emil stopped talking before he let out a sigh. He then turned his attention to Tiara who was focused on trying to do a cheese pull. “I’m not ready to talk about it.” He concluded.

Kalani swallowed as she tried to not be disappointed with his response. Outside of the pure anger that was palpable whenever his father was mentioned, Emil had concealed his emotions about the divorce from her, always giving her that same answer of not being ready to talk. She had offered for him to go to therapy but he refused, saying that he did not need it.

“I caught him cheating Mum, not killing somebody.” He had said to her after the therapy suggestion. She dropped it then, however as her sessions continued, the more she wanted to push for Emil to go. But she was not going to force his hand. He’d go when he was ready.

“How’s this? When you come back, I’ll take the day off work and break you out of school and we do whatever you want. Just the two of us.”

“I’d like that.” Emil replied as a small smile returned to his face. Kalani reached over and softly pinched his cheek.

“That’s my boy.” She wicked at him.

They finished dinner in a much better mood with Emil updating her on his coming football schedule so that she could make time for it in her diary. And it wasn’t long after they had cleared the table did the doorbell ring.

Kalani glanced over to the clock on the wall. It was 8:40pm.

A cloud of tension suddenly covered the serenity of their home as she realised who was at the front door. Kalani looked at her son, who was already moving to collect Tiara from her position in her play area by the living room.

“Give me five minutes, I need to talk to your father about something.” She said to him. Emil nodded his head.

“Princess come on, gotta make sure that you have all of your toys ready.” He said before picking her up and giving her a piggy-back ride up the stairs which caused her to squeal with each step.

Kalani mentally prepared herself as she dried her hands with a hand towel before she headed to the door.

With one more pep talk, she swung the door open and met her ex-husband with a close-lipped smile with her body blocking the entrance.

Standing shy of 6 foot 2 inches with a rich, tawny complexion, a shaved head and trimmed goatee – Malik was a physically handsome man. At forty-three, he kept himself fit, had an impeccable wardrobe (that she introduced him to) and a gorgeous smile that her daughter inherited. Full lips with slick words that could charm the pants off a recluse. She would know, they’d been working on her for close to two decades.

“Hi Lani.” He smiled down at her.

“Hi Malik.” Her tone was curt, which caused his cheeky expression to slip by minor fraction, but she caught it.

“How are you?” He asked. “You look beautiful as ever.” He complimented her, trying to work his charm as he had done so many times before.

It wasn’t going to work this time.

“Thanks.” She narrowed her eyes before she moved to step outside. She drew the door close and left it slightly agar.

“I need to talk to talk to you about something.”

“Are the kids okay?” He worried.

“They’re as fine as they can be. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

“Then what?”

“When are you going to sign the papers, Malik? You’ve been putting them off for far too long now.”

“What do you mean sign?” He frowned in confusion. “I thought that we were taking this time to figure things out.”

“What things?!” Kalani sternly exclaimed in a hushed voice. “You refused couple’s counselling. Emil doesn’t want therapy and wont talk to me about it. Tiara thinks you’re working on a big project at work because she doesn’t understand that we’re separated.” As the words spat out of her mouth, the angrier she became. “Let’s not fucking forget, that little girlfriend of yours is still around and you thought that I didn’t know about it.”

“She’s not Kalani!” Malik quickly tried to shut down her accusation.

“Oh please!” She scoffed as she looked at him up and down in disgust. “Her perfume is lingering on you right now. I should know, I was washing it off for years!” She hissed.

Kalani watched as Malik tried to sniff his clothes and that disgusted her even more as she could see the gears in his mind churning up an excuse.

“Listen, it’s not like that.” He began to say.

“I don’t give a shit what it’s like. I want those divorce paper signed and delivered to my office by Monday. If not then no more nice Kalani, I’ve put up with your shit for too long.”

Without giving Malik a chance to reply, she opened the door just as she picked up on the patter of feet rushing down the stairs. Tiara zoomed past her and dove into her father’s legs, hugging them.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” She chanted, bouncing with excitement. Malik picked her up into his arms and gave him one of his practised smiles as he peppered her face with kisses.

“My gorgeous girl! You’re getting so big!” He said which caused Tiara to grin.

“Look! My tooth fell out and the tooth fairy gave me one pound and Mummy told me to add it to my piggy bank!”

“Oh, that’s so awesome Princess!”

“When all my teeth fall out, I’m gonna be rich!”

“Oh, I bet!” Malik tickled her sides which caused another high-pitched squeal to leave Tiara. In all of her rage, it was the joy of her daughter that mattered to her. Emil trotted to her side, holding their weekend bags.

“You got everything baby?” She asked him. He nodded his head.

She hated having to send him with his father, but she did not trust Malik to care for Tiara without Emil’s assistance. She brought in her son for a tight hug and kissed the side of his head. “It’s just two days and you’ll be back.”

Emil sighed at those words before nodding his head. “Bye Mum.” He mumbled before he kissed her cheek and walked past Malik without acknowledging him. She could see that Malik was trying to not let that get to him but kept a brave face for Tiara. It may be horrible to admit but it felt nice to know that there was one more person who hated his guts the way she did.

‘Right, Princess, you’re going to be on our best behaviour for your father, okay?” Kalani said to Tiara.

“Mhm.” Tiara nodded her head before Kalani placed a kiss on her forehead.

“We’ll talk about what we talked about later.” Malik glared at her.

“Unless it’s about that signature, then we have nothing to talk about.” She glared back.

Kalani waved goodbye to her children as Malik drove away. Once she shut her front door, she let out the biggest sigh of relief as her body relaxed. She had not realised just how tense she had been in the minutes Malik was here.

It had felt like hours.

With her body on autopilot, Kalani finished cleaning up the kitchen and packing away Tiara’s toys before she grabbed her bottles of wine, forgoing the glass and dragged her body up the stairs to her bedroom. As she prepared for her evening bath, she put her favourite playlist on and danced to the music as she stripped down to her bathing suit.

Once her tub was full of hot water and bubbles, she sank down, laying down her head on the towel. She took a large gulp of her wine and get the bottle down.

With only the sultry voice of Sadé as solace, Kalani let her walls down and cried to her hearts content.

reading list: @queenshikongo3 @dhlfastestlap @saintslewis @serpenttines-library @saturnville @hopefulromantic1 @cocobutterqwueen @bluesole16 @chaneajoyyy @emjayewrites @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @sapphireheaven @olyvoyl @lewisroscoelove @lh44adore @hellomadamebutterfly @scorpiobleue @laneywrld @qveenmelanink @tremendousstarlighttragedy @bekindbecoolbeyou @greedyjudge2 @itsapurrfectstorm @createdbylivingclocks @omgsuperstarg @peyiswriting @miyuhpapayuh @blowmymbackout @purplelewlew @henneseyhoe @perfecttrashface @alianovnaromanovanatalia @leilaxaliel @hotfudgeslug @iamryanl @pickingupmymercedes @eleetalks @ambs-06 @annisassintchaska @boujiestpoet @nayaesworld @nat-lh-44

[its-avalon-08]

why did you leave me (cl16)

part9!

multipart story! prev || next

✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader

summary : charles and y/n have always been best friends. but y/n has been in love with him forever. when charles starts dating a new girl, out of respect y/n distances herself. but how much is too much?

The club was buzzing with energy, the music pulsing through the air as the drivers and their friends celebrated together. Charles found himself in a corner, talking with Lando, Max, Carlos, and Pierre. They were all in high spirits, but their curiosity about his relationship with Y/N was palpable.

Lando was the first to bring it up, grinning mischievously. "So, Charles, what's the deal with you and Y/N? Are you finally together, or what?"

Charles shifted while smiling shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, it's… complicated you know. We spoke and I told her everything but-," he began, but the other drivers wouldn't let him off that easily.

Max raised an eyebrow. "Complicated? How so? You guys have been inseparable tonight."

Carlos nodded, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah, we've all noticed. So, what's the story?"

Pierre leaned in, a smirk on his face. "Come on, Charles. Spill the beans. Are you two finally a couple?"

Charles sighed, feeling the weight of their questions. "We haven't really had a chance to talk about it yet. Everything happened so fast today. I know I want to be with her, but we haven't defined what we are."

Meanwhile, across the club, Y/N was having a similar conversation with Lewis and George. They were seated in a cozy booth, the club's lights casting a warm glow over them.

Lewis leaned forward, a teasing smile on his lips. "So, Y/N, what's going on with you and Charles? Are you two an item now?"

Y/N blushed, playing with the straw in her drink. "It's… well, it's kind of up in the air right now. We had a big talk today, and things are different, but we haven't labeled anything yet."

George chuckled, shaking his head. "You guys are adorable. Seriously, everyone can see the chemistry between you two. It's about time something happened."

Lewis nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it's obvious you both care a lot about each other. So why not just go for it?"

Y/N sighed, looking down at her drink. "I want to, but I guess we're both a little scared. We've been friends for so long, and we don't want to mess that up."

Back in the corner, Charles was trying to articulate his feelings. "I care about her more than anything. I just… I want to make sure we're on the same page. I don't want to rush her or make her feel pressured."

Lando put a hand on Charles's shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. "Mate, it's clear you both have feelings for each other. Just talk to her. Be honest."

Max nodded in agreement. "Yeah, Charles. You two are perfect together. Don't overthink it."

Carlos grinned, raising his glass. "To Charles and Y/N, whatever they may be. Just make her happy, man."

Charles smiled, feeling a bit more at ease. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it."

At the same time, Y/N was getting similar advice from Lewis and George.

"Just talk to him, Y/N," Lewis encouraged. "You both deserve to be happy."

George smiled warmly. "Yeah, and from what I've seen, you make each other happy. That's all that matters."

Y/N took a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination. "You're right. I need to talk to him."

As if on cue, both Y/N and Charles looked up, their eyes meeting across the club. With a shared understanding, they started making their way towards each other, hearts pounding with anticipation. The moment of truth was approaching, and neither of them wanted to wait any longer.

As Y/N and Charles walked towards each other through the crowded club, their eyes locked in silent communication, a sense of anticipation hung in the air. Just as they were about to close the distance, a sleazy man stepped in front of Y/N, blocking her path.

"Hey there, beautiful," the man said, his breath reeking of alcohol as he leaned in too close. "Why don't you and I go somewhere a bit more… private?"

Y/N took a step back, trying to maintain her composure. "No, thank you. I'm not interested."

The man chuckled, ignoring her clear discomfort. "Aw, come on baby. Don't be like that. I promise I'll show you a good time."

Y/N tried to move around him, but he stepped in her way again, his smile turning predatory. "What's the matter? Do you have a boyfriend or something?"

Before Y/N could respond, Charles was there, his eyes blazing with anger. He stepped between Y/N and the man, his voice cold and controlled. "Yes, she does. And you're going to leave her alone."

The sleazy man sneered, looking Charles up and down. "Oh, really? And who might you be?"

Charles squared his shoulders, his voice low and dangerous. "I'm her fucking boyfriend. Now back off."

The man hesitated, clearly sensing the seriousness in Charles's tone. But before he could make another move, a chorus of cheers and shouts erupted from the drivers nearby.

"That's right, Charles!" Lando called out, pumping his fist in the air.

"About time you stepped up!" Max added, laughing.

Carlos and Pierre joined in, raising their glasses. "To Charles and Y/N!"

The man's confidence wavered, and he finally took a step back. "Fine, whatever," he muttered, slinking away into the crowd.

Charles turned to Y/N, his expression softening immediately. "Are you okay?"

Y/N nodded, her heart pounding from both the encounter and Charles's declaration. "Yeah, I am now. Thank you, Charles."

He smiled, reaching out to gently brush a strand of hair from her face. "I'm sorry that happened. I should have been here sooner."

She shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips. "It's okay. You were here when it mattered."

The drivers continued to cheer, their excitement filling the club. Charles pulled Y/N into his arms, holding her close as the world around them celebrated.

"I meant what I said," Charles whispered in her ear. "I am your boyfriend, if you'll have me."

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes shining with emotion. "Of course I will, Charlie. I've wanted this for so long. You beside me. That's all."

Charles leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead. "Me too, Y/N. Me too."

The club erupted in even louder cheers, and as Charles and Y/N stood there, wrapped up in each other, they knew they had finally found their way to the happiness they both deserved.

As the cheers and applause of their friends and fellow drivers echoed through the club, Charles and Y/N stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, their hearts pounding in unison. The realization of their feelings and the joy of finally being together filled the air around them.

Charles gently cupped Y/N's face, his thumb brushing away a stray tear that had escaped down her cheek. "Y/N," he murmured, his voice filled with emotion, "I love you."

Y/N's breath hitched, her eyes locked onto his. "I love you too, Charles," she whispered, her voice trembling with the depth of her feelings.

Unable to hold back any longer, Charles leaned in, his lips capturing hers in a passionate kiss. The world around them seemed to blur and fade away, leaving just the two of them in that moment. His lips were warm and soft against hers, and she melted into his embrace, her hands tangling in his hair.

The kiss deepened, a rush of emotions and years of unspoken love pouring into it. Charles's hands slid to her waist, pulling her closer, as if afraid she might disappear. Y/N responded with equal fervor, her heart soaring with the realization that this was real, that they were finally together.

Around them, the club erupted in cheers once more, the drivers and their friends celebrating this long-awaited union. Lando whooped loudly, clapping his hands. "Finally!"

Max grinned, raising his drink in a toast. "To Charles and Y/N!"

Carlos and Pierre joined in, their smiles wide and genuine. "About time!"

But for Charles and Y/N, the world outside their kiss was just a distant hum. Their lips moved together in perfect harmony, a dance of love and promise. When they finally broke apart, breathless and smiling, their foreheads rested against each other, their eyes shining with tears and joy.

Charles pressed another gentle kiss to her lips, softer this time, filled with tenderness. "You're everything to me, Y/N. I promise to make you happy every single day."

Y/N smiled, her fingers tracing the line of his jaw. "You already do, Charles. Just by being you."

As they stood there, wrapped up in each other, the noise of the club and the celebration around them faded into a beautiful background melody. They had found their way to each other, and nothing else mattered. They were together, and that was all they needed.

[mariclerc]

Can you do a fic where the reader works for Ferrari and has been friends with Charles for a long time, and recently Charles and the reader have a friends with benefits thing going on, but the reader is actually in love with him. Then when Lewis moves to Ferrari, he takes an interest in the reader, the reader decides to give him a shot and stops the situationship with Charles and he realises he doesn't want to let her go.

thank you for this request, this was a little bit hard to make because i was looking at how to develop the story but I really liked how it came out, I hope you like it!

Confusions at work | cl16 & lh44

Summary: when you have feelings for your situationship but a new person gets in the middle of it. Warnings: a little angst, confused reader, and fluff at the end.

The garage bustles with mechanics working on the gleaming red cars. You lean over the table to see the monitor with the different strategies for the first practice session of the day. Charles walks towards you, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Looking stunning with that frowned face y/n... As always.”

You roll your eyes playfully, a smile tugging at your lips. You have known Charles since his great season in Formula 2 back in 2017, by then you were already working as an internal race engineer in the Haas team, you were practically like Sheldon from the big bang theory - a brainiac. Upon meeting Charles there was an instant connection, it was as if you had always known each other, eventually, you were promoted from Haas to Ferrari in 2019, just the same year that Charles was promoted to the red team too, and ever since then the easy camaraderie between you has turned into something more... A secret, friends-with-benefits situation that both sets your heart ablaze and tears it in two.

“Yeah, yeah, save it for the cameras, Perceval. You know perfectly well I can take you down with a bad strategy any day.” you chuckled.

Charles feigns offense, but his laughter betrays him. You share a comfortable silence, a familiarity that speaks volumes. The moment is shattered by the arrival of Lewis Hamilton, the new star driver at Ferrari. Arriving at that first meeting at Maranello his gaze settles on you, a flicker of interest igniting in his eyes. Fred had offered you a change of position with Adami to be Lewis' race engineer, but the comfort and confidence you already had working with Charles made you decline the offer, likewise, working with a seven-time world champion is a privilege, since you can learn a lot from him, but you and Charles had practically grown up together at Ferrari and out of loyalty to him you stayed with him.

-

The following weeks are a whirlwind. Lewis tries to get close to you, and as a result, you end up having some dates and night-outs with him. He is charismatic, attentive, you dare to say that he's a bit similar to Charles in so many ways since both of them treat you with such care and kindness. You find yourself drawn to his confidence and outgoing demeanor, a stark contrast to Charles' usual genuine and soft care towards you. Guilt gnaws at you, but the thrill of something new is intoxicating... And with a little sadness in your heart, you decide to end things with Charles... At least for a little while you try to understand what your heart wants.

One night you went to Charles' apartment, and you entered with the extra key that he had given you a long time ago. Charles' apartment is quiet, a stark contrast to the usual post-race buzz. You stand awkwardly in the living room, avoiding his gaze.

You gulped. “Charles... I think we need to talk.”

He looks up, a frown creasing his forehead. The air crackles with unspoken emotions. “Y/n what's wrong sweetie? Did I do something wrong?”

You take a deep breath. “It's about this.” you sigh. “This thing between us... It can go anymore.”

Silence hangs heavy in the air, Charles' frown deepens, his eyes searching yours. “Is it Lewis? Is this about him?” he asked.

The truth hangs on your tongue, a bitter pill to swallow. “Maybe, maybe not... The point is, things need to change... We need to take a break... At least for a little while.”

Charles stands abruptly, his frustration palpable. “Just like that? We throw away everything because of... what? Because some shiny new toy showed up?” His words sting, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes - a vulnerability you haven't seen before.

“It's not that simple, Charles. You know it's... Complicated.”

Tears well up in your eyes, this isn't how you imagined this conversation going. You practically run out of Charles' apartment, frustrated because you don't know if you did the right thing and at the same time you don't know if being with Lewis is the same as being with Charles... Because at the end of the day, he somehow manages to see through you and understand you on a level that Lewis cannot.

-

Days turn into weeks, you and Charles avoid each other. The only words that come out of your mouth are simply a "hello" and a "see you later", occasionally long sentences when you're giving him directions during the race or at the team debrief, the air is thick with unspoken tension. The joy has gone out of working at Ferrari... You see the way Lewis looks at you, but a hollow ache fills your chest. At night you constantly think about what you would be doing with Charles at that exact moment, perhaps cuddling up watching a movie, or a normal date at his house eating pizza, wearing matching socks and playing Mario kart... And even though Lewis takes you to glamorous galas, lavish dinners and so on, you don't complain about it, on the contrary, you're grateful for it, but, there's nothing like that instant connection with Charles.

One afternoon, Charles corners you near his car. His eyes are stormy, a mix of anger and something else you can't decipher.

You hear him sigh. “I miss you y/n... Like hell.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You miss him too, the easy banter, the way he understood you without words, the way his eyes spark every single time he was next to you.

“Charles... I...” you say shyly but he cuts you off, his voice rough.

“Don't... Don't tell me you miss Lewis...because if you do, I'll understand. But at least know this – this thing we have, it's real, at least for me. It's more than just crazy strategies and stolen kisses after victories. Maybe I haven't said it, haven't shown it the way you deserve, but I care about you, y/n... A lot.”

His confession hangs in the air, raw and vulnerable, you've never seen him that way. You can see the years of unspoken feelings bubbling to the surface. Tears prick your eyes, blurring the image of Charles in front of you.

A million things fight for dominance in your mind: the thrill of the new with Lewis, the comfortable companionship with Charles, the undeniable spark you share with him.

Taking a shaky breath, you meet his gaze.

”Charles, I... I don't know what I want... I mean, Lewis is exciting, a new challenge. But with you... it's different, it's easy, familiar, it's warm. But it's also... frustrating you know? You never give anything away, never let anyone in all the way.”

A flicker of pain crosses Charles' features. He reaches out, hesitantly placing a hand on your arm. “I'm scared y/n... Scared of losing you, scared of letting myself feel something this real. But if you're willing to take a chance, maybe, just maybe, we can figure this out together.” he says softly.

The silence stretches, thick with unspoken emotions. You look into Charles' eyes, searching for a glimpse of the future you both could have. The weight of the decision settles on your shoulders. You glance around the garage, the familiar red of the Ferraris a stark contrast to the turmoil within you. Lewis' confident smile flashes in your mind, but it's quickly replaced by the image of Charles' vulnerability, a side you've never seen before.

Taking a deep breath, you meet Charles' gaze, a flicker of determination replacing your earlier uncertainty.

“Okay Charles, let's figure this out... Together.” you say softly.

A slow smile spreads across Charles' face, relief washing over him. He pulls you into a tight embrace, the scent of his familiar cologne grounding you, it feels like coming home.

“Thank you, y/n. Thank you for taking a chance on us.” he whispers in your ear.

You pull back slightly, a playful glint returning to your eyes. “Just don't expect me to lose in the strategy game anytime soon, Leclerc... This isn't over yet.”

Charles throws his head back and laughs, the tension finally breaking. He ruffles your hair affectionately.

“I wouldn't have it any other way amour... Wouldn't have it any other way.” he smiles. (love)

-

The garage and the pit wall is mostly deserted, the day's work winding down. You're packing up some of your things when Lewis approaches, a determined look in his eyes.

“Hey, y/n! Can I talk to you?” he asked with a friendly smile on his face.

You hesitate, then nod, gesturing towards a quiet corner. Lewis leans against a wall, his voice gets a little serious.

“I saw you and Charles... And I get it now, there's something there, a history I can't compete with.” There's a hint of disappointment in his voice, but mostly understanding.

“Lewis, I... I'm really sorry. Things just moved too fast too soon, and I realized what I was risking.” you say softly but Lewis offers a shy smile.

“No need to apologize, but follow your heart, y/n! That's all any of us can do... Besides, maybe next time on the track, I can finally knock your team off that top spot in the strategy battle.”

A genuine smile graces your lips. “Don't count on it, Hamilton. But hey, maybe we can grab a coffee sometime and hash out some friendly competition strategies. No promises on who'll win, though.”

Lewis chuckles, the tension dissipating. He extends his hand for a handshake. “Deal! And good luck with Charles. He's a lucky guy!”

You shake his hand, a newfound sense of clarity settling within you, he gives you a warm smile and a friendly hug. As Lewis walks away, you glance towards Charles, who's watching the exchange with a hint of possessiveness in his eyes. You catch his gaze and he winks at you, a silent promise hanging between you.

He walks towards you with a little smile on his face and takes you in his arms.

“So... How about we get out of here? I could use a real shower you know?” you say and Charles' smile widens, genuine relief washing over his features.

“Sounds like a plan. My place, or yours?” he asks softly.

The air hangs heavy with unspoken possibilities. You know this is a turning point in your relationship, a chance to rebuild something stronger.

“Your place only if you promise to make that killer pasta dish you always brag about.” you say teasingly.

Charles lets out a mock groan, but there's a twinkle in his eye. “Fine, fine. But you have to help me chop the vegetables! No bystanders in my kitchen, okay?” You laugh, the tension finally breaking. As you finally grab all of your things, Charles slings his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “Come on, sweetcheeks. Let's get out of here before someone challenges me to another mario kart race.” he smiles softly. “You know I can't resist a good challenge, especially when you're involved.”

You nudge him playfully, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest.

”Oh, I'm sure you can handle it, Leclerc. But just you wait, next time I'm schooling you.”

Together you walk out of the garage, the setting sun casting an orange glow across the racetrack. The future is uncertain, but with a newfound commitment to each other, you're ready to face it head-on. You and Charles head towards his car, the promise of a home-cooked meal and a chance to reconnect hanging heavy in the air.

[holysainz]

hidden truths - mick schumacher

pairing: mick schumacher x messi!reader

warnings: none

summary: you use summer vacation as an escape from the weight of your last name … mick happens to have the same idea

You meet him on the shores of Ibiza. He’s just another sun-soaked stranger as far as you’re concerned. With golden hair tousled by the ocean wind and eyes reflecting the azure blue of the sea, he is magnetic. But you’re just two beach-goers, simply Mick and Y/N, each escaping the intensity of your own lives for a slice of paradise.

You’re both incognito, tucked away behind faux names and tinted aviator sunglasses, your public identities folded away and locked away in your suitcases. He’s Mick, a charismatic car mechanic, and you’re Y/N, a football coach from Rosario. Nearly truth, except for the bits you both conveniently leave out.

Mick’s charm is undeniable. It’s clear that he’s comfortable around people … around you. It’s the easy jokes he cracks about the Spanish heat and the impromptu sandcastle-building competition he starts under the heat of the midday sun that endear him to you. There’s a spark, a connection. But just as a sun sets on Ibiza, the end of summer break looms in the horizon.

You decide to see it through, to ride this wave until the end.

—

One afternoon, as the sun dips low in the sky and bathes the beach in shades of gold, you’re locked in a lively debate about football. Your knowledge, the passion, it’s all too familiar.

“I swear, Y/N, you talk like you’ve been on the field with Messi himself,” he laughs, sipping on his sangria.

There’s a pause, a flicker in your eyes, as you reply. “Well, you talk about cars like you were born in one.”

You share a knowing look. The masks are cracking but not quite broken. Not yet. There’s fun to be had and more summer to enjoy.

—

The last week of your vacations approaches. A parting is imminent but Mick presents an offer, “I’m … going to a race next week. Formula 1, in Zandvoort. As a mechanic, of course,” he adds with a wink. “Would you like to come along?”

Your heart jumps. Attending a Grand Prix? The thought is electric. “I’d love to,” you say, despite the beating in your chest.

So you’re whisked off to the Netherlands, to the world of racing and roaring engines. In the paddock, Mick introduces you as a friend. There’s an energy here, a tangible excitement. It mirrors what you felt watching your father in Camp Nou and Parc des Princes and now DRV PNK stadium. It’s intoxicating. You understand why Mick loves it.

And then it happens.

“Lewis,” he greets a man passing by with a quick nod and beaming smile. You recognize him, even though your previous encounters were during award show red carpets and VIP parties you could barely remember the next morning. Lewis stops dead in his tracks as he spots you. “Y/N?” he questions, reaching for a hug. “What are you doing here? I would’ve gotten you a pass if I knew you wanted to come.”

Your eyes widen as Mick watches the exchange. “You know each other” he asks, the words thick with confusion.

Lewis laughs, “Of course, she’s Leo’s daughter.”

The shock in Mick’s eyes doesn’t fade away.

“You know … Leo Messi,” Lewis is quick to clarify.

The silence hangs heavy. Mick looks at you, betrayal written across his face but there’s understanding too. “And you’re Mick Schumacher, Michael’s son. God, I feel so stupid,” the realization dawns.

For a moment, nothing. Then, Mick smiles. “Guess we’re pretty bad at keeping secrets, huh?”

“Or pretty good,” you retort. “Depending on how you look at it.”

You both laugh, the sound echoing through the Mercedes garage. When you're together, you’re not Mick Schumacher and Y/N Messi but just Mick and Y/N again. You’re more than the gargantuan shadows of your last names.

The end of summer isn’t a goodbye, it’s a beginning. The beginning of something new, something real. Even under the intense scrutiny of the world, you hold onto each other, two hearts beating as one.

And that, in the end, is the true victory.

—

taglist: @musingsbyshreya

[keepthedelta]

What will it take to get the thesis 👀👀

literally nothing, i will talk about brocedes on the internet for free any day of the week.

okay so, one of the things i find fascinating about it is that it's only that clue "i love to drive but i don't really like the attention and media that comes with the job" that lewis seems to focus on. because nico was a monaco princess and has never done any kind of manual labour in his life let alone national service. look at the video of him trying to chop down a tree for an environmental project with his extreme e team if you don't believe me. but lewis ignores that (maybe because the woman says that he'll get it after the next clue). kimi is the obvious choice for a driver who hates media, but lewis was never especially close with kimi, but he was close with nico. and nico did hate the media and the attention that came with formula 1.

something that he and numerous other people around him have said consistently throughout his career is that he's shy. one journalist specifically said that it was a finnish kind of shyness, where he was hesitant to share parts of himself with the world. although i think will buxton's "contenders" article is ridiculous, there are some important things in it. buxton says that nico tried to take control of the questioning during press conferences etc. and if you follow his career, you see that where nico has shared himself with the press and with the world it is very much on his terms. he wanted to be able to be the one to define himself and his image, and it actually backfired spectacularly several times because a lot of journalists in motorsport (will buxton for example) really resented it and became more negative in response.

a lot of people look at the media from nico's career and think that he was very boring or uptight or had no personality. and the truth is that he's actually incredibly fascinating but it never came across because he disliked the media aspects of the job so much (in fairness the media also hated him for just doing his job, and he literally once got told to smile more during an interview because they disliked his demeanour).

even when you look at things like his youtube channel, it was very much the first thing he tried after leaving f1, and since exploring more and finding other projects to be passionate about he's significantly decreased his usage (to an upsetting level to those of us who loved it). when he comes to commentate races it's because he loves racing. like i truly do not believe you can listen to nico talk about max verstappen's driving as art and not think that he's there because he loves the sport and even if he's not racing anymore the love is still there.

another factor for me is that nico's been surrounded by the media and fan attention since he was a child because of his father and his surname. there are photos of literal toddler nico in the williams garage with his parents. the first time he ever met jenson button and jenson nearly threw hands with a 12 year old is immortalised in photos. nico signed his first autograph at nine, because a fan of his dad's said "just in case". the media and the attention has been an intrusion on his life for literally his entire life. you can see from the way he's very careful about what he posts of his children that he wants to give them privacy and respect in their childhood. i do think the media intrusion etc. is significantly worse now than it was when nico was growing up, but i do think that nico's own childhood experiences have influenced the way he parents his children.

and coming back to lewis, the truth about lewis and nico is that they really were best friends. for a while they were pretty much each other's only friend. nico does know lewis better than most people in the world and lewis knows nico better than almost anyone in the world. that just comes with growing up with someone and being there for the life moments that come to define them. so lewis knows that nico is a bit shy, and he knows that nico has never liked media attention. and even though kimi is the absolute obvious choice for disliking media, the first person lewis thinks of for that is nico. because lewis can never forget nico

[esmiara]

As promised, let me introduce you my two beloved BSD OCs:

Who are they?

Basically, Lewis and Antoine are two friends traveling around the world to discover exciting places while avoiding various government forces (more on that later). Though not related to the main story of BSD, they do know about organisations like Port Mafia and the Agency, mainly from what they heard in the streets and read in the newspapers since they arrived in Yokohama. However, they do prefer to not get anyone involved in their issues, nor do they really want to get involved in anyone else’s.

Lewis Carroll

Based on the author of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis was a man in his thirties with a fancy mind. As a child, he once had a wild imagination feeding his ability Wonderland (again, more on that later) but due to social and family pressure, he got forced upon a path of logic and perfection, now making it hard for him to think outside the box. Thus crushing his past self involuntarily and putting chains on his own mind in order to protect himself from outside complaints. As an adult, he became a plain math teacher for children, with a quite boring life. That is, until he met one certain child in London.

Their meeting

“Draw me a sheep.” said the unknown child out of the blue.

Lewis was stunned. He didn’t knew what to respond at first to this child, which he thought was one of his students. But when he put more thought on it, he didn’t looked like any child he had at the time. Who might have been this strange blond kid with unkept clothes? He decided to learn more about him, worried he may have lost his parents somewhere. However, as they talked, he quickly understood he didn’t had any. He simply didn’t knew about any “parents”. Actually, he didn’t knew much about the world itself either.

“Draw me a sheep!” repeated the child after a while of interrogative discussion about who he was, where he came from etc....

Lewis gently asked why such a demand, as he didn’t want to offend this possible lost orphan.

The boy fell silent. Then spoke again, a sad emptiness darkening his young blue eyes.

“I want a warm friend to bring with me” he simply responded.

Their exchange may have been succinct up to this point, but it was clear to Lewis that he was no normal child. As the boy seemingly didn’t have a name, Lewis gave him the name of one of his most beloved book’s author. The character of that one book simply reminded him of the boy.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

More based on the Little Prince’s main character than the actual author, Antoine was an enigmatic individual with the physical appearance of a young boy. Nobody knows of his real age, not even himself. However, most may have theorized that he at least was around for at least a few decades, if not centuries perhaps. One day found and caught by the french government in his - supposedly - hometown, he had no memories of his time before then, except for some vague fragments. He mostly remembered about this laboratory he was brought in, with a lonely room where he would occasionnally meet strangers dressed in white. Despite the many uncertainties surrounding him, Antoine was still of great interest for scientists. He didn't seemed to physically age at all. Could he hold the secret of cells regeneration or even immortality? They soon found out he did age but at a very slow pace, thus looking unchanged for many years.

Curious about this plausible new ability, they decided to make him meet a young girl, who would share his room from now on. This one girl was quite arrogant at first. Antoine didn't really like her attitude but she was the only other person he could befriend. So they did. They soon became friends. Then they learned more about the truth, may it be this girl's past, snatched from her orphanage to become a lab rat as well, or the whole reason why she was here with him in the first place.

It was all because of the young girl's ability. One that would let her copy another one and make it her own. They apparently wished to make a copy of test subject B612′s power in order to "save it” somewhere and be able to experiment on it without having to risk the boy’s life. But things didn't turned out like they wanted as the girl began to crumble under some unknown sickness. Her body couldn't handle Antoine's ability, so it seemed, and she quickly became unable to move. So she made a promise with Antoine:

“Be my eyes and explore the outer world, okay dumby?” she said, with little breath she had left.

A promise reminiscent of the one where they would explore and see the world together. One where he would do so if she couldn't follow, to make her dream come true even when she became a star.

Their abilities

Little prince

No one really knows the details about Antoine's ability. Everything we know for sure is that his body has a very long lifetime, yet not immortal. He is destined to die of aging one day and is still weak to any wound like anyone else. However, we did notice Antoine's body starts to produce a faint glow whenever he gets sick or when his life is in danger in general. Not that it really helps at all though.

Wonderland

Lewis' ability is a bit complex and confusing, much like Alice in Wonderland's whole world.

In theory, Wonderland is quite simple: it allows its bearer to create anything he thinks to be a nonsense, something that is normally impossible. It could be seen as an area surrounding the user, in which he can create anything he wants, as long as it meets the proper requirements (being a "nonsense").

However, as the whole definition of "nonsense" depends on the user's mind, one could have a hard time creating anything. As such, what could be a nonsense to someone isn't necessarily one for Lewis. He is still quite a peculiar man after all.

A strange man, but with many restrictions on his mind and imagination. As he was forced to think with logic for the most part of his life now, he can't stop asking himself about the specifics of one’s question. Where a visible nonsense would occur, Lewis' mind would subconsciously ponder over what could make it truly real or impossible. If he can't get proper answers to those questions, then it can't happen either.

The beginning of their adventures

As they became much closer as people who somehow understood each other, Lewis began to be more friendly with the child, rather than looking like a mere adult talking to a little one. He saw himself in his struggles. He saw a young mind, much like his own a long time ago, slowly getting crushed by adult's expectations and limiting his own thoughts. He couldn't let the same thing happen twice when they still had a choice. So he encouraged him to get creative and let free of his imagination, with no worries about exterior opinions.

One day however, they suddenly got caught off guard by militaries sent by the french government as well as some members of the Order of the Clocktower, there to retrieve the unknown child for their own purpose instead. It was at that time that Lewis was finally able to make use of his ability once more after so many years. Inspired by Antoine’s naturally spoken nonsense, he unleashed Wonderland in order to escape. This also put a permanent stop to Lewis’ normal way of life, as he now was as searched for as Antoine was. It was time for a involuntary trip around the world, it seemed. But this time, Antoine wasn’t alone anymore.

[joelslegalwhre]

Hey!! was just looking to request a little something, if you don't want to/don't have the time I don't mind.

So, like a Max V x Reader where reader is Toto's daughter. Reader and Toto doesn't have a good relationship because she isn't very interested in the Mercedes team and after a petty fight he kicks her out of the house, max hears them fighting (they're in the paddock) and offers to host reader and as time goes, they start to build a relationship and then everyone finds out about it. Also if it could take place under the 2021 season. 🏎️🤍

*sips on dr pepper* Alright Toto my beloved, it‘s time to be a bitch

Thank u sm for the request anon! I made some small changes to the plot but nothing major xx

Paddock Pass pt.1

pairing: max verstappen x fem!reader, dad!toto wolff x fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

summary: After Toto takes your paddock pass, Max comes to your rescue. You didn‘t think that rescue would lead to something much bigger. (Pls trust me this is good, I just suck at summaries)

warnings: angst, fighting, bad dad-daughter dynamics, fluff, mutual pining turning into more, use of Y/N one time, not really proofread (anything else? Tell me if I missed something)

Masterlist || taglist || part one || part two || part three

There wasn't a year when you hadn't attended at least half of the grand prix. And this year was no different. 

Your job allowed you to work from everywhere you liked, so it was the perfect opportunity to follow your dads team around the world. 

The Mercedes Formula One team was something you’d consider family. 

You knew everyone by name, some of them knew you since you were only a few years old, attending your first races. 

But you never cared for the strategies, the way the cars worked, or anything in that field. 

You were here for the excitement of the races, the familiarity and the people. The drivers, the mechanics, the strategists or the people working for the media… they were close to your heart, and you couldn't imagine not being part of this world.

Even if you weren't the least bit interested in the details; you knew everything about the sport, you just didn't want to go into detail why the car would work better if you added this thing to whatever part of the car that your dad had explained to you so many times. 

But Toto Wolff would not understand that. And he made it very clear. 

In his eyes, you should be just as interested in all aspects of the sport. To be like him, you thought.

„You know what, Dad? Shocker, but not everyone shares your fucking interests and cares for them as much as you do!" 

You've never talked to him like that, but you've had enough. "I know I'm not the daughter you'd like to have," you continued, „I really don't care  about the aerodynamics of Lewis‘ car and how it's different to Valtteris'! I simply don't care!" 

You felt hot tears burning in your eyes, but you managed to blink them away. Barely, but he didn't have to see them. "They all know that," these damn tears wouldn't stop, you thought, "Everyone except for you, Dad.

The disappointment in your voice was clear as day, "Why do you even take me with you, when you don't just accept me as I am?" Your lips were pressed in a tight line, the tears still on the verge of falling. 

"You're right." Toto said in the coldest voice you might've ever heard from him, his accent thick, „I don't have to drag you with me anywhere, you're an adult after all. But I also don't have to give you access to the paddock, nor to the garage or anywhere else."

You clenched your teeth, hard. He just had to snap his fingers and your all access pass was worth nothing. You couldn't enter the paddock, couldn’t go anywhere else. And he knew, clear as day, that you couldn't just take a plane back home. You needed the money to pay your rent and couldn't just waste it on a plane ticket that was way too expensive. 

But you wouldn't give in this time, no, if he wanted to punish you for telling him the truth, fine. But he couldn't just humiliate you like he did right now. You grabbed the all access pass hanging from your neck and shoved it in his hand. "Take it then." you said, your voice matching his cold tone. 

Max was hearing every part of it. He'd noticed your voice just before he walked past the Mercedes facility, stopping dead in his tracks when he heard the tone of your words. The voice he had heard so many times, the kindness you always spoke with. All gone. And then Toto's. Just as horribly cold. The two of you were standing between the facilities, so he pretended to be on his phone answering someone, so he could wait in front of his own facility. 

"Take it then." he heard you say in a bitter tone, and just a moment later, you walked past him. He could tell that you were upset. Hell, everyone could've. The way you almost ran out of the paddock and tried to blink away the tears - of sadness, anger, or possibly both, he couldn't tell - it was obvious. Max waited another moment, and when he saw Toto returning to the Mercedes facility, he quickly followed you.

He had to quicken his pace, due to your fast steps. Some were curiously watching where he wanted to be so quickly, but he didn't notice them, just trying to catch up to you. "Hey," he called after you, "wait for me!" 

You didn't hear him, and even if you did, you wouldn't think he'd meant you. It was when he called out your name, that you finally turned around. 

"Thank you." he said, taking a deep breath. He stopped right at your side. "Ehm," you looked at him in utter confusion, still trying not to be obvious of your emotions. "Can I help you, Max?" 

You haven't seen him, when you walked past the Red Bull building, too focused on what to do now. 

„Uhm, yeah, I mean… Can we find a-„ he looked around, “a more private place to talk?” 

His gaze was filled with sincerity and softness. You needed a second to answer him. „Uhm, yes. Of course.“ you quietly said. 

“Great.” Max gently took your wrist and led you to a more secluded place between two facilities. The grip he had on your wrist turned into him sliding his hand in yours. It didn‘t surprise you how the skin where he had touched you tingled, the feeling of your hand in his a feeling you could never quite explain. It was childish, but ever since he started driving for Red Bull, you had a crush on him. You obviously never told your Dad or anyone else about it, hell would've broken loose if you did. 

“I was actually heading out of the paddock,“ you started, “I don't have a pass anymore.” 

His lack of confusion or surprise to that made you draw your brows together, and then he simply answered, „I know.” 

“So what are you-„ you started, but he interrupted you, “I know it's not the most gentlemen thing to do, but I heard all of the-“ he thought for a second, “discussion, between you and your Dad.” he ended. 

That actually made you smile a little, he tried his best to be as gentle as possible and you appreciated it. „It’s okay, Max. I guess everyone kind of heard us.” you sighed, „We had a fight, and he kicked me out.” a bitter smile formed on your lips. 

„Yeah, but he can't kick you out of the paddock.” Max's lips turned into a mischievous smile. “What do you mean?” He looked at your hand and his thumb caressed it for a second. „I'll give you one of mine.” 

„Max,“ you started a little shocked, but he quickly shook his head, „It's really no problem at all,“ he smiled, „It would be an honor to have you in the garage.“ he winked.

His knees almost buckled at the sight of you.

He had given you one of his spare Red Bull shirts. It was a little too big for you, but you had styled it perfectly, the new pass dangling from your neck with every step you took.

You looked absolutely beautiful. And you weren't walking past his garage like you usually would, because his garage was the one you'd watch the race in. It filled him with a sort of pride he couldn't explain. Never in a million years, had he dared to believe you'd be rooting for him and his team. Little did he know, you did since meeting him for the first time. 

"Hey," you greeted him with a warm smile. Max was glad that you seemed to be in a much better mood than yesterday. „Hey.“ he grinned. „Is this-„ you gestured over your outfit and pass, „Is it really okay with the team?“ 

You were a little nervous how they'd react to you being in the garage. Nearly everyone knew you were Toto's daughter. And although you knew most of the other teams, including the people who worked for them, you felt quite nervous. „It is.“ His voice had no trace of uncertainty in it. And when he grabbed your hand for the second time since your encounter yesterday, your stomach did a little happy flip. 

„Alright, I have to go, but you can just go over there to watch the race,“ he pointed to your left, „But I guess it's no different to the Mercedes garage, so…“ he laughed. You smiled and chuckled, „It isn‘t, but thank you.“ He gave you a small nod, still smiling. „No Max, really. Thank you.“ Your voice became more serious, and you looked at him with utter gratitude. 

Just when he gave your hand a light squeeze, you noticed that you must've still been holding hands. „I already told you it's no problem, I'm glad you are here.“ You couldn‘t tell the look on his face, you just knew that he was standing so very close to you that only a few centimeters separated the two of you. His gaze wandered from your eyes to your lips. His hand that caressed yours as you still watched him with such intensity, trying to figure out what he was thinking, but at the same time just taking him in. „Y/N, I-„ he started whispering, so close to your own lips, just so very close. 

„Max! We need you over here!“

The voice made both you and Max look up, almost startled. He turned around to the mechanic, and nodded quickly before turning back to you. 

But the moment was gone. You took a step back, letting go of his hand in the process. You smiled at him, though nervously, „Good luck, champ.“. And with that you left him standing there, your heart still aching for so much more than a simple ‚good luck‘. 

I appreciate your comments and reblogs so much!

here’s my kofi if you‘d like to leave a tip 🩷

[luminouslywriting]

Hii wanted to request a Bob headcannon, them with a French risistant

Ahh this is a super fun idea! Admittedly, I don't know a ton about the French resistance, but I'll give it my best go! Reminder that my requests are open for BoB, MOTA, and the Pacific!

More under the cut, cut for length:

Dick Winters:

-Really impressed with your work and works with you well.

-The relationship is born from a mutual respect and friendship—combined with shared goals, it makes it easy for the two of you to connect and fall in love.

-You promise to take him to Paris one day and you are the one who accompanies him on his leave :)

-Admittedly, he does worry about you because your job puts you in the line of fire, but he trusts you and your ability to handle yourself above all else.

-Does his best to learn some French and it's very very American sounding still, but hey, he's trying haha

-Waits until the end of the war to make a move because he doesn't want to mess things up with you

Lewis Nixon:

-Enjoys getting to know you during intelligence reports and other espionage acts. Is very impressed by you. -Loves talking French culture and appreciated your music and art a ton….he’s an educated man, after all haha. -Thinks you need to let loose every now and then with a drink and definitely offers it more than once haha. -Comes to talk to you about the most random things; from strategy to drinking to his marriage problems to your life story. -Always expresses gratitude and appreciation for the sacrifices you make to help Easy Co along. -Probably hooks up with you at least once and then admits he’s fallen for you shortly before the war ends lol

Ronald Speirs:

-Pretends not to listen to any of the stories about you and mostly succeeds. He just figures out the truth and has mad respect for you and your job. -Scary girlfriend with scary dog boyfriend privileges?? Sign me up. -Loves getting to work with you in any capacity and will swap tips and tricks for taking people down haha

-Please just have a hot spar session with him. It’s life changing, I promise. -Learns French quietly and on his own to better communicate with you. -Probably comes back to Europe after the war to sweep you off your feet and admit his love.

Buck Compton:

-In awe??? You��re very cool and he’s very aware of that haha. -Compliments you very sincerely and probably tries to get into whatever sports teams that you have in France. -Also a college boy who is considering doing college in Europe solely so he can see you after haha

-Learns all of your body language so he can better understand how you’re feeling about things without having to ask you plainly. -Is a great support system so please be a great support to him as well. -Invite him to come recover in France, he’ll love that!

Carwood Lipton:

-Painfully shy about being impressed by you and your skillset. But he’s also paying close attention and praising your work. -A great friend and ally to have wherever you travel. He’ll always have your back. -He’s quietly harboring a crush that he would be mortified if anyone found out. Easy Company does find out and ships you two quite a bit. -Is not going to make a move until Austria though because he knows that the war is a messy situation and relations between countries are already stressed. -Very sweet about supporting you and always checks in on your emotions and how your family is doing. He CARES okay??? -Everyone is convinced you two are going to be married one day haha.

Joe Liebgott:

-Love at first sight?? Like DAYUM he is impressed and starry eyed and immediately flirting with you the first chance he gets. -It does not go well and he needs a whole redemption friend arc where he proves himself to be a good friend first. -Has cute German pet names for you that he will never speak aloud lol. -Probably invites you to his foxhole for warmth (there’s only some slight innuendos in that instance)

-Makes a move shortly after Bastogne because that was sobering to realize mortality was so frail and it all just works out. -You are the only person he will share his chocolate with haha.

Donald Malarkey:

-Meets you on D-Day and is just ???? Shook??? Bc who are you and where did you come from and how are you so cool? -He’s super easy to talk to and connect with. He loves talking to you and hearing about your life. -Also just wants to introduce you to American food and sports haha. -Writes home to his family about you in passing and they are sus as hell about that haha

-Really gets to know you after his friends die and leave after Bastogne and relies on you a lot. You’re a great strength to him. -Probably asks you if you’d like to come home to the US with him :)

Eugene Roe:

-HE SPEAKS FRENCH, YOU SPEAK FRENCH, instant besties, if only because he understands exACTLY what you’re saying haha 🤣

-You two gravitate easily towards each other for this reason but also, it’s really nice to have someone with actual medical training on your side. -He loves hearing French folktales and legends and he’ll share some American and Cajun ones with you

-Always is the first to check on you after espionage missions or after you’ve been on the line. He wants to make sure you’re doing okay. -Honestly very devoted to you but knows that the timing isn’t right and you both have jobs to do. -But a hand hold here or there wouldn’t hurt…and neither would inviting him to France and to meet your family after the war haha

Bill Guarnere:

-An Italian American and his French S/O walk into a bar….truly the start to an iconic joke….except you two are great together?? -He falls for your devotion and the way in which you are so passionate about things. And he definitely lets you know that. -He starts planning things out pretty early on and if you don’t have any family left, he’d be happy to make an honest Italian American out of you lol. -Consistently had your back in battle and watches out for you. -Go home with him to the US after he gets injured and he’ll take care of him. You’ll get a home and a family and someone who will love you forever. -Honestly?? Too cute.

Joe Toye:

-Not about to admit that he thinks you’re badass but he certainly tells everyone else that haha

-Likes to see you relax and have fun with the guys and prioritizes making sure you feel included

-Is a great listener if you ever want to talk about how you’re feeling or what’s been going on lately

-Trains with you on shooting and hand to hand combat and is eager to learn from you as much as he wants to teach you too

-Definitely wrote back home to his family about you and admitted his feelings before Bastogne.

-Go home with him please :) he’ll love you forever

George Luz:

-This man probably has so many nicknames for you (a la Tony Stark style) and it’s a witty banter filled friendship. -He’s not afraid of telling you how he feels and is very good at watching your six in the field. -Is the type of guy to attempt horrible flirting in broken French. It’s painful for everyone haha. -Everyone is aware that you two like each other and they’re coming to with increasingly deranged ways to get you two together. -Loved hearing you talk about history and your culture and hobbies. It’s one of the few times he’s completely quiet and attentive. -Comes back to Europe in a romantic grand gesture after the war to sweep you off of your feet.

[thisismeracing]

omgg finally congrats for 1k millie so happy for you 🥳🤩 srsly guys just follow her for your daily dose of vitamin mick lol 🤗

Uhmm anw just because we haven't seen him for a while can i req Mick + dissapear + angst? 😶‍🌫️ thankyou

Dissapear | MS47

⸺ the one where Mick is ghosted (or where he falls for an online girl and she disappears - because maybe she's closer than he thinks) ✓ mentions of ghosting, reader has a nickname (peach).

⁕ one word, a thousand stories blurb night (closed) ⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

It started with a wrong number. Lewis had passed him the cellphone of what was supposed to be the Merc main mechanic because the German had lost it somehow. However, when Mick texted asking about what time they would meet to do sim work, he discovered it was the wrong number.

That didn't stop them from talking while he waited for the right number and then for Patrick, the mechanic, to show up. He discovered that the number belonged to a girl, and that was about it. She was fun to talk to, and the time flew by him. When he said goodbye and went to work he didn't think they would talk again, but life doesn't always go as planned, and after finishing Sim work that night he was exhausted but couldn't seem to sleep. He asked her a random question, praying for her to be awake or for his text not to disturb her night.

The thing was, Mick was feeling lonely. Yes, he did have friends, yes he did have fans, and he had everyone and everything he wanted, but somehow he felt like something was missing.

And during the six months he spent talking with Peach -the cute nickname he gave her after discovering her favorite fruit was peach, Mick felt seen. He felt free to be who he was and to share the most random thoughts that passed through his mind without being afraid of judgment.

When they beat the six months mark he started to be more open about how he wanted to meet her in person. To which Peach would always find an excuse or change the subject. The truth was, Yn was afraid of meeting him, she was afraid he wouldn't like her the way he liked him, and she was so close, closer than he thought. What would happen once Mick discovered his online friend worked with him? What would happen if he thought she wasn't as pretty as he pictured her to be?

"Peach, please, answer me" "It's ok, we don't have to meet, I'm cool with just talking" "Just please don't leave me on read, I really like you" "I like talking to you" "Peach?" "Don't disappear, I'm worried. Give me a signal."

And just like that she stopped answering him. Trapped in her own fears. Tasting how bittersweet love could be. And forever wondering "What if?" because what if Mick liked her in person too?

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Thank you, nonny!!! <3 I tried something reeeeally new on this piece, and I let my imagination run wild for a second, so I hope it's not that crazy, and I hope you like it *mwah* don't forget to reblog and comment, guys. Love yall

[pineapples8383]

Here’s my say on this photo, specifically on how it may be Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis

So, first I think that the hair resembles the both of theirs quite a bit, as well as the skin tone. The photo is in black and white but the person on the right (the supposed Dean Martin) seems to have more of a tan, while the person on the left (the supposed Jerry Lewis) is more pale which is how their skin tones were in real life. The hand with the ring appears to be the right hand of the person on the right as if that’s so then the ring would be on his right hands ring finger. Did Dean ever wear a ring like that on that finger? I don’t know. Moving on. Now I want to talk about their only other feature here that could possibly identify them; their clothes. The supposed Jerry is wearing a nondescript light shirt with stripes and the supposed Dean seems to be in a letterman’s jacket. Some may disagree but I think it truly is one, and I have some not so substantial but still there evidence to (kind of) prove it. We see his left sleeve has two light colored stripes and what looks like a star over it. The two stripes look much like those on a letterman’s jacket but the star like shape confused me so I did some quick research. Apparently, a star indicates a team captain. Here’s my source:

Now, you may notice that this is Wikipedia, and that is why I described it as not so substantial but still there evidence. It makes sense to me and that’s why I believe it’s true. But I really know nothing about football so maybe someone with experience can confirm or deny this. Anyways, once I got the idea that this was a letterman’s jacket, I skimmed through “That’s My Boy” because Dean plays a football player in the movie. In my quick look through I saw no jacket like this one wore by Dean Martin. He does wear a letterman’s jacket but its colors are light with dark stripes, and this one is the opposite. But, there is one thing worn by Jerry at the very end of the film. In the scene he goes up to his father and says “Dad see I wore my letter!” Here’s a behind the scenes photo of him in the sweater:

This sweater is a dark colored one like the one in the photo but unfortunately Jerry’s wearing a coat over it and so we cannot see the sleeves, specifically the left one. It is like a letterman’s jacket and so I believe it must have had the stripes but of course I don’t know. It’s possible, but who knows? Well anyways, with all this in mind, my theory is that if this is a photo of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis then it was during the filming of “That’s My Boy” and Dean took the sweater or they swapped clothes or something. This may be unlikely but there is evidence of them wearing each other’s clothes before. Still, this would’ve been something that was part of the costume and not their personal wear so I don’t know if Dean would take something from wardrobe, especially since it wasn’t even part of his. Maybe he stole it, I don’t know. The other (more likely) possibility is that this is two random guys and the one on the right was a football captain in high school or college. I think it’s more fun to think of it the other way around but since there’s no solid evidence, the second option is more realistic and probably closer to the truth. If only we had the source of the photo. Who put it on the internet?! It is impossible to know. Please everyone share your thoughts!

[formula1fanfiction]

Charles Leclerc / Sebastian Vettel

Title: Shoot your shot

Pairing: Charles Leclerc / Sebastian Vettel

Characters: Charles Leclerc, Sebastian Vettel, George Russell, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, Lewis Hamiltion

Prompt: When seb saw all the difficulties Leclerc has faced with Ferrari texted him and said him that he wanted give him hug, but when they come across at Suzuka they do more than hugging.

A/N: Who knew so many feeling could come out of making bee hotels XD

"Who are you texting?" Pierre tries to catch a glance at Charles' screen but the younger man pushes his hand away and quickly slips his phone into his pocket. Pierre pouts at him. "Come on Charles, you know you have to tell your best friend if you are seeing someone?"

The truth is, Charles isn't seeing anyone he just doesn't want to share his texts from Sebastian with Pierre, he would spoil it somehow will his crude dirty jokes. When all the texts are just Seb being a great support, when Ferrari fuck things up from him, there is always a text of support from Seb. Sometimes offering words of advice and sometimes just offering a friendly hug.

Sebastian will always be special to Charles, he had welcomed him to Ferrari with open arms, still offering words of advice with a kind smile even when Charles had started beating him. The way he held Charles during his first time and ever so carefully took his virginity.

"Charles?" Pierre's whining voice brings him back to the present. "I had better go, we are making those bee hotels and I need to smash my head against a brick wall before I spend time with Esteban." Pierre pulls him into a tight hug before walking into the direction of the Alpine garage. Charles smiles fondly as he watches Pierre, he loves his best friend with his whole heart.

His smile turns into scowl only a few hours later, he's finally reunited with Sebastian again but its Pierre talking to him, something about honey bees while Sebastian explains how the bee hotels work.

"Your boyfriend left you too?" He turns to look at George and it's then he notices Lewis is also off in the distance with Seb and Pierre. "Yes.." Charles finds himself saying, he doesn't know why he's telling George of all people, when Pierre doesn't even know. "It's different for you, you get to have Lewis every race weekend. I only have this weekend."

George is giving him a strange look. "Wait, it's Seb?" Well, shit. George obviously thought he was with Pierre. George's look of confusion has be changed to a polite smile. "Shoot your shot Charles."

The making of the hotels turns out to be pretty fun, he makes Carlos gather all the materials, while he stays as close to the hotel as possible listening to the words of advice Seb is giving to the other drivers.

"Mate, piece of art." Pierre finally gets his attention and gestures to the Esteban heart Pierre on his hotel. Charles just laughs at him, while Pierre keeps talking about abstract and other such things, Charles isn't really listening, his attention focused on Sebastian talking to the McLaren guys.

They finish up the project by taking a group photo, Charles stands between Alex and George so close yet so far away from Seb. Just as they are about to leave he hears George and Seb. "Go say hi, I think he misses you." That British traitor.

"Charles, Hi. You didn't think I had forgotten about you did you?" He sees George give him thumbs up behind Sebastian's head before being dragged away by Lewis. Charles doesn't say anything, the thoughts are buzzing in his brain, he had planned exactly what to say and now Seb is here, he can't say anything.

"I just wanted our reunion to be a bit more special." Sebastian pulls him into a hug, Charles clings onto him for dear life. "Do you want to come back to my hotel room?" Luckily Sebastian had agreed, it would have been very embarrassing had he said no.  

"I miss you too Charles, so much." Seb sits next to him on the double bed and pulls him in to another hug. "I know you are just a text away but its' not the same, I miss having you around."

"I just want to touch and hold you while I have you." Charles doesn't know how he has the confidence to be so forward, usually he blushes and hints until the other person finally understands but George's words echo in his brain. shoot your shot. and he doesn't know when he'll see Seb again.  

"What do you mean?" Shoot your shot Charles. Charles isn't sure what the best way to say I want you inside of me.  So instead he pushes his fingers into Sebastian's hair and kisses him, savouring the test and feel of his mouth as the older one starts kissing him back, pulling him closer until Charles is sat in his lap, shamelessly rubbing himself against Sebastian's hardening crotch.

"Are you sure Charles?" Sebastian pants into his mouth, he nods eagerly. Sebastian doesn't waste a single second and rolls them over, so Charles' back is pressed against the bed. They quickly divest each other of all clothing, until they are both naked and panting with need and desire.

Sebastian takes both their cocks in his hand and strokes them at the same time, Charles already feels himself falling apart, it's been so long and he doesn't want to come without having Seb inside of him. He reaches over a presses the tube of lube into Sebastian's palm. "I want you inside of me, please."

Charles spreads his legs as he watches Sebastian pour a generous amount of lube onto his fingers, then rubbing his hand down Charles' body until he gets to his hole. He ever so carefully eases the first finger inside, Charles throws himself back in lust, finally he's going to have Seb again.

"I finger myself, just like this, wishing it was you." Sebastian has just gotten the second finger inside when Charles tells him this new information. He stalls for a few moment, to soak it but Charles lets out a while of frustration and Seb quickly gets back to it and works his way up to three fingers, until Charles can't take it anymore.

"Please, please Seb, take me."  

Charles lets out a small sob as Sebastian pulls his fingers out and coats his cock with some of the lube, his cock is hard with a small bead of pre cum glistening at the tip, Charles can't wait to feel it inside of him, filling him up.

Sebastian has Charles' back pressed against the bed, legs wrapped around his strong waist as he slowly enters him with one swift move, both of them cry out in pleasure. "So tight, Charles." Sebastian squeezes his hips in a bid not to cum instantly.

He starts thrusting almost immediately, filling him with long passion filled thrusts. Charles leans forward and wraps his arms around Sebastian's strong body, pushing his cock deeper, hitting all the sensitive areas.

"Fuck." Sebastian snaps his hips forehead, fucking him a little harder as their lips meet once again. Sebastian reaches down and takes Charles cock into his hand and strokes him to the same pace as his thrusts, still hitting all those sensitive little nerves inside of him. Charles loses it first, he's been on the edge for so long, he pants out Sebastian's name as he spills his load over those long fingers.

Sebastian fucks Charles through his orgasm, much slower now as to savour the moment and not over stimulate Charles, it's enough though to push him over the edge, Charles has clamped vice like around him and all too soon he's shooting his load inside of Charles' soft velvety walls.

So did it work?  Charles smirks as he reads the text from George, Seb reads it over his shoulder.

"You know if you wanted me Charles you could have just asked me yourself and not get George to do it." Maybe George isn't a British traitor after all.

[artist-issues]

What kind of music/which artists do you like?

This is going to be a long answer! Twenty One Pilots is the only band I can definitively say is my favorite. They're in a different league than all the other bands or artists rattling around in my brain, close to the same way C.S. Lewis is in a league of his own in my brain when it comes to storytellers. Theres another ask I answered on my blog where I talked about why and how—I've loved them for twelve years. I'll put a whole ramble about them under the cut if you want to hear more about that.

I love Kings Kaleidoscope. Same types of topics as Twenty One Pilots, but with more overt Christianity and worship. So much as I prefer and love TøP, I'll always recommend Kings first.

I also love the Gray Havens for all the allegories and Lewisian imagery. And Sarah Sparks' Into the Lantern Wastes, for the same reason! Some of my favorite songs right now are by Gable Price and Friends. My easy listening is Needtobreathe and The Oh Hellos!

I love that Twenty One Pilots' music is super genuine. And I don't mean it like everyone else seems to when they talk about, like, NF singing about his grief and anger or Taylor Swift singing about her femininity in the genre, or whatever. I mean, if you look at Tyler Joseph's background and then look at the specific way he chooses to word things, you realize he's not just being genuine about the way he feels. He's being genuine about the way he thinks, and how those two things connect—and how wrong he often is. And how silly our culture's patterns of thought are, too.

That's harder to do. Because essentially what NF and Swift and artists like them are doing is they're just sharing with you. They're telling you about themselves. And sure, there is a type of vulnerability to that. But it's one thing to make a statement about yourself—it's another thing to use a statement about yourself to make a larger, more important point. That's a type of self-sacrifice and honesty that actually helps others, instead of just shines a spotlight on you and how relatable or raw or great you are.

I mean, obviously, you can't have "a larger, more important point" without also having "a genuine statement about yourself"—because if the people you're talking to don't trust you or relate to you or feel like you understand them, on some level, then they don't want to hear your "larger, more important point." But the fact is, with Twenty One Pilots, it's not all about them. They're uncomfortably honest about themselves because they want you to be I comfortably honest with yourself, about yourself, to lead you OUTSIDE of yourself.

And to God. I believe to God.

Anyway. Examples of what I'm talking about from their work below, in case you care, and haven't heard them, and just thought they were the latest indie-emo My Chemical Romance or that I just like them for the teen-angst-nostalgia of it all—

"Hello, I've been traveling in the desert of my mind," (which is from Addict With a Pen, a song about doubt and a crisis of faith and apathy, and my unmatched favorite) is such a smart way to talk about what it's like in the human brain. And how morbid and dry and lifeless it actually is in there, when you keep turning to yourself and looking inward for answers.

It's a desert in here. The water/Truth you need to survive comes from outside of your brain—and you have to constantly be reminded of the Truth/water from the outside, because the more you keep it in your head and analyze it, the more prone you are to only analyzing it as a form of control over it, when all its power to help you in the first place actually came from the fact that the Truth is outside you, bigger than you, beyond your control. Once you measure Truth by what you can understand/control, you've stripped it of its authority over you, and its authority over you was what was helping you. It was where faith came in. So then it "drains." And you have to shake yourself out of your brain and go back to looking outside of yourself, humbly, for answers. Asking God to wash you, give you a feeling and a faith that you can't produce by willing yourself to have it or thinking as hard as you can about it.

Or, "Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and an hunch, saying stuff like 'you only live once.'" (Thats from Heavydirtysoul.) That's such a smart way to say that. Mindless zombies—zombies literally feed on living brains, they're happy to consume other people's thoughts, but they don't have any of their own—they're "walking around with a limp and a hunch," so first off, they're moving, but it's slowly, and haltingly, because they're dead. Not really going anywhere, just going through the motions of living. And then "with a hunch" not only adds to that visual of them going through decaying, useless motion, but "hunch" can also just mean a gut impulse, an idea that's not fully thought out. The zombies need to quit talking like they're "seizing the day" while they are actually just going through the motions of life, never thinking seriously about why they do what they do, or what they believe.

He says some of the same idea in Car Radio, which is all about the good and the bad of thinking, and he claims he "will try to come across like I am dying to let you know you need to try to think." But then at the same time, there are repeated themes through songs like Trapdoor and Migraine that "nothing kills a man faster than his own head," or "sometimes to stay alive you gotta kill your mind." And back to Addict With a Pen.

Basically what I'm saying is Twenty One Pilots is so genuine that they get to a place where they say, "it's important to pay attention to why you think what you think and feel how you feel —but never to let your thoughts or feelings control you. You control them. Let your thoughts and feelings lead you to what's true—which is that you're broken, and so are those thoughts and feelings—so what are you going to believe in, instead of them?"

At least, that's the core of what I love about them. And they used to seem much clearer, in their own way, about what they thought everyone should believe in: God. Who else knows your own head and feelings better than you do—but is still 100% more trustworthy as a compass than you are?

Nowadays it feels a little like they've fallen in love with analyzing the thoughts and feelings. Like that figure focusing so hard on the little drop of truth in his hand in Addict With a Pen, when what he really needs to do is realize he can't hold onto it and needs the Water to hold onto him. But that's okay. I mean, as long as they don't stay there.

[buckybarnesthehotshot]

Chain, Keep Us Together (Max Verstappen x Reader)

|part 1|    |masterlist| 

summary: he won the championship, what does that mean for them? 

word count: 4019

warnings: not proofread, breakups, alcohol, slight angst, happy ending

October 20, 2022, COTA

       “That was a hell of a celebration for winning the championship,” the reporter started off, “It’s not all the time teammates share a kiss after winning a championship.”

       “We did it last year, didn’t we?” Max chuckled awkwardly, looking over to y/n.

       “Practically tradition at this point,” she chimed in jokingly with a tight-lipped smile. Media training in this situation was an absolute wonder considering neither of them had spoken to the other after that moment in Suzuka.

       She couldn’t bring herself to do it then. She couldn’t find the words to express the jumbled thoughts in her head, deciding it would have been easier for her to vanish as soon as she finished her commitments to Suzuka.  

       Truth be told, throughout the season, she didn’t mind sharing press conferences with him. Well, before Suzuka, at least. This time, however, the tension hung heavy in the air between them. So many words left unsaid as they sat across from each other.

       “Does this mean you guys are still together?”

       Max was at a loss for words. How would he explain this. Were they together again? By no means was their breakup publicized, but after their very public relationship in 2021, it was safe to assume people figured things out on their own.

       “Who said we split up?” she questioned with a laugh, somehow able to act like everything was okay with them both. It was easy when she’d managed to do it throughout the entire season.

       “There was a lot of speculation in the media after both of you were spotted less with each other this past season,” the reporter explained, taking a gulp.

       “Ah,” she winked, “We wouldn’t have kissed if we weren’t still together, eh?”

       Except they weren’t. They hadn’t been for a long time. It wouldn’t be good media for the team though if she let people know about the breakup right after sucking face in Suzuka. It would’ve put both of them in an awkward situation.

       “Right, of course,” the reporter nodded, “Are there going to be any more moments between you two after confirming you’re still together?”

       “Aren’t we supposed to be asking questions about the race?” Max questioned bluntly in an attempt to bail her out from the awkwardness of the conversation the reporter tried to engage in, “But I can give you a kiss too if that’s what you want to keep talking about.”

       “Where’s my kiss then?” Daniel chimed in, a wide smile on his face. He and Max were good friends, he knew damn well what transpired between the Red Bull drivers. He was just there to lend the pair a helping hand at the conference.

       The crowd laughed at his blunt humor and he breathed a sigh of relief at the switch in the topic. No longer did she have to go on about this fictional season she wished she could have had with Max. If things had gone right, she would have smiled, raving on about how great things with Max were rather than making things up about how they were still together.

       There was no point in living a fantasy when the crushing reality loomed above their heads; they kissed. Now what?

October 9, 2022, Suzuka Circuit

       He kissed her. She couldn’t believe it. He took her in his arms and kissed her.

       She pulled away, a look of confusion on her face as she processed the situation. She stared at him for a moment, breathing a sigh of relief before pulling him closer by his shirt and wrapping her arms around his neck.

       He’d done it. He beat Lewis Hamilton to the checkered flag, and now he was the World Champion.

       After those grueling laps, he emerged victorious. He was sure he owed it all to y/n for supporting him off the track, and fighting Lewis off on the track the way she did. He just wished she could have crossed the finish line with him.

       “The world fucking champion!” her voice came over the radio. Despite her retirement, she managed to find her way over to the rest of the team long enough to ask for access to his radio.

       “It’s all thanks to you for everything you did in that car earlier,” he let out a laugh, still in disbelief at how they managed it.

       “You’re the one who crossed the finish line, remember?” she reminded him with a small laugh, “I’ll see you at the podium ceremony!”

       “Would’ve been much better if you were there.”

       “Enough flirting, we have a championship to celebrate!” Christian’s voice came over his radio as y/n let out a laugh before disconnecting from the line, allowing the rest of the pit wall time to celebrate over the radio before heading off to parc ferme.

       He got off the car, smiling widely as he saw the team gathered there waiting for him. His eyes met hers and he rushed toward her first, wrapping his arms around her and carrying her over the barrier.

       “Max!” she exclaimed as her feet left the ground, wrapping her arms around his neck as he kissed her deeply as the fireworks went off.

       “I love you,” he told her as the fanfare began, holding her tight against his chest, the adrenaline rushing through him. She looked up at him, her e/c eyes filled with nothing but warmth as she pulled him in for another kiss.

       “I love you too, Max Verstappen,” she smiled, burying her face in his neck as the team cheered and celebrated the Dutch driver.

       “I love you,” he breathed out, nothing but the sounds of the rain and the fans outside to be heard. She gasped, her e/c eyes glimmering with conflict. Why did things have to be so complicated?

       She pulled him closer, both hands cupping his cheeks as she kissed him, just as passionately as she used to. She broke away from him awkwardly, the attendants calling them to the podium area.

       She didn’t tell him she loved him.    

       How could she when she didn’t know how to feel about it. He still loved her, but was that basis enough for her to let him back in?

October 23, 2022, Texas

       “You know, you never told me about what happened with Max in Suzuka,” Carlos shook his head as he and y/n shared breakfast at the hotel.

       “Please, you saw what happened,” she rolled her eyes at him. It was all over social media at that point, both the team’s social media admin and fans reposting the clip of them in the cooldown room.

       “You never told me why it happened, though,” he reminded her as she groaned. After the regular posting about the team’s victory in Suzuka, she locked herself out of her phone to avoid having to talk about the incident with anybody. Hell, she even holed herself up in the apartment in fear of running into Max. Why did most of the grid have to live in Monaco?

       “That’s because I don’t really know what happened, Carlos,” she spoke passive aggressively, rolling her eyes at the Spaniard, “One second I’m bringing him in for a hug, the next he’s kissing me.”

       “More like trying to eat your face off,” Carlos quipped, making y/n roll her eyes, “Then you kissed him too. Twice.”

       “That was an accident.”        

       “Mate, how do you accidentally kiss your ex-boyfriend?” Carlos quirked a brow at her, crossing his arms over a chest.

       “Well, I—” she paused, “It’s complicated.”

       “No, I don’t understand how it’s so complicated. At Singapore, you were talking about how hard it was for you to act professional around him and now, I have to find out on a few screens that you kissed Max!”

       “It’s not my fault you found out on the screens, they were being streamed live,” she groaned, burying her face in her palms, “But I don’t know. He kissed me and because I was caught up with the adrenaline and nostalgia of our team winning another championship, I kissed him too.”

       “Doesn’t explain why you kissed him a second time.”

       “He told me he loved me,” y/n mumbled, “I didn’t know what to say, so I just kissed him.”

       Carlos broke out in a fit of laughter.

       “You kissed him because you couldn’t tell him you loved him too?”

       “What makes you think I still love him?” she crossed her arms over her chest, her resolve failing as she sighed.

       “You still love him!” Carlos exclaimed, his eyes growing wide, “When you started talking about him, I just assumed you weren’t over him, but you still love him!”

       “Can you repeat that? I don’t think the 13th floor heard you too well,” she rolled her eyes at him, “And I don’t even know if I still love him. Maybe it’s just. Maybe it’s just me getting excited at the idea of racing with him again, or being around him as my teammate.”

       “And why would you get excited over that?”

       “Because he’s arguably one of the best drivers on the grid at the moment?” she quirked a brow at him, shaking her head. Of course, she would defend his honor in a casual conversation with Carlos. She was whipped.

       “You’re just inventing things now,” he shook his head.

       “Okay, well, even if I still love Max, what the hell am I going to do about it?”

       “Talk to him about it?” Carlos suggested the most obvious route possible, “He said in Suzuka that he loves you still. Why don’t you do something about it?”

       “Because what if it was just the adrenaline?” she huffed, “What if when all the chemicals in his brain settled down, he realized that he only said that because he was excited about winning the championship? Then what? I leave the team in shambles trying to clean up this mess?”

       “Ay, why do you have to make it so complicated?”

       “He’s the one who broke up with me, then he’s going to tell me he still loves me? You’re telling me those aren’t mixed messages to you?”

       “All I’m saying is that maybe you should talk to him. Clear up the air.”

       The pair remained silent for a moment.

      “Is this what you meant when you said you protect love?” she questioned, quoting an interview of his she saw while scrolling through social media.

       “It could be,” he shrugged, “Don’t ruin your chances at happiness just because you’re not sure, y/n.”

       “I’ll…keep that in mind,” she nodded, getting up from her seat, “I’m going to get ready for the track now. I’ll see you later.

       The weekend was strong for Red Bull, though she didn’t manage to put herself on the podium for that race. Max won. Of course, he did, why wouldn’t he?

       The team gathered below the podium, all piling into this odd car parked there, cheering for Max. He’d done it, he won the Constructor’s Championship.

       Just as they promised each other, they did what was best for the team. He won both championships for the team and she helped him like the good teammate she agreed to be. She couldn’t help but smile up at him as she watched him celebrate on the podium with Marko.

       For a split second, their eyes met as he stood on that podium. She gave a polite nod, offering him a smile instead, hoping the cameras didn’t catch on to the awkwardness shared between them. Still, she clapped and cheered—it was a big moment for the team, after all. It would be a shame if she let that moment in Suzuka get in the way of the fact that the team had just won both championships.

       She stayed behind on the track until later that night; the team had celebration photo ops, of course. It was unavoidable for one of the PR officers to request that the two drivers have their photos taken together.

       He made his way towards her, pausing to ask for permission. She nodded, allowing him to wrap his arm around her waist, both of them grinning at the camera as they held the trophy out. Goosebumps littered her skin at the feel of his hand around her waist, warmth radiating off his body.

       She pulled away from him almost as soon as the camera went off, offering a quick congratulations to him as she made her way toward the rest of the team.

       She wanted nothing more than for the night to be over with but, of course, Christian announced there would be an afterparty at a nearby bar later on into the night. As one of the team’s drivers, she had no excuses not to show up. The best she could do was turn up late in a navy blue dress, her makeup all done up as she spent a fair amount of time in the bathroom just to avoid having to show up early.

       Nonetheless, she arrived at the party, a smile on her face as the team cheered for her. She decided she was too sober for the party as she saw Max’s gaze go over to her as he conversed with Pierre. She allowed herself to vanish into the crowd, making her way over to the bar and ordering a few drinks, downing them as quickly as she could.

       She stayed there for most of the night, ordering drinks and snacks in the little bar corner she found, not really conversing with anybody else on the team. They were far more focused on Max anyway.

       Speaking of Max, the man had terrible timing.

       “Can we talk?” he questioned, a bashful tone to his voice as she stared up at him, blinking for a moment as though trying to let her vision clear up a bit more. Perhaps she shouldn’t have drank so much.

       “You’re going to talk anyway,” she groaned, “Might as well get it over with. What did you want to talk about?”

       “I wanted to uh, to talk about us. And the breakup?” he spoke shyly, unsure of how to approach the situation with the woman. He should have thought about that before he kissed her in front of a live audience.

       “Just the breakup?” she slurred.

       “Well, obviously, I want to talk about the kiss too, but I want to talk about everything from the start,” he explained briefly as she nodded.

          “You know, when you broke it off with me, I thought I did something wrong,” she admitted, e/c eyes fixated on the clinking of the ice cubes against her glass with great interest, purposefully looking away from Max. It was then he realized just how drunk the woman was. He’d have to postpone the conversation for another time.

       He couldn’t get much of a word in before she spoke again.

          “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he shook his head, taking the stool next to hers, his fingers naturally gravitating towards her hand. Her hand twitched for a second before sighing and allowing Max to keep his hand above hers. 

          “It’s just, when you broke up with me, the excuse you used,” she laughed sadly, “God, it was so stupid. ‘Do it for the team’ as if you didn’t win the championship while we were dating.” 

          “I was plenty stupid,” he nodded in agreement, “I’m sorry.”

          “But then you kissed me in Suzuka and it was like everything was normal again between us,” she bit her lip, a poor attempt at stopping the tears from crawling down her cheeks, “You kissed me in Suzuka the same way you kissed me in Abu Dhabi.”

       “Did I?”

       “You did,” she hiccupped, “You held onto me so tight while you kissed me.”

       “I guess I did,” he nodded, brows furrowing with concern for her inebriated state.

       “Yeah, there weren’t any fireworks outside though,” she laughed, pointing at her chest, “I felt fireworks here, though. Fuck, my heart was exploding when you kissed me.”

       Max nodded, allowing her to talk.

       “Did you mean it?” she questioned.

       “Did I mean what?”

       “Did you mean it when you told me you still loved me?”

       He paused. He didn’t want to have this conversation with her in this state. He didn’t know how she would react to hearing all that. Clearly, she was emotional enough as it was.

       “Why are you so quiet?” she poked at his face, her mood shifting like a pendulum as she pulled away from him, frowning, “You didn’t mean it, did you?”

       “No, of course, I meant it!” he exclaimed, taking her hands in his, “I meant what I said in the cooldown room, and I stand by what I did.”

       “Really?”

       “Yes, but right now, I don’t know if you’re going to remember this conversation, okay?” he questioned.

       “Okay,” she nodded, changing the topic, “Do you think you can walk me back to the hotel room?”

       This was an odd olive branch for her to throw out to him. At this point, she didn’t care at all. As far as her drunken brain was concerned, he was sorry and she had a headache forming. She just needed to get out of there, it didn’t matter if she was leaving with her ex.

       “Are you sure?” he questioned, hesitant to agree to her request.

       “Yeah,” she nodded bluntly, “I’m sure. I can even make like, a letter for morning me so she doesn’t get all mad at you tomorrow.”

       “Are you always mad at me when you’re sober?” he quirked a brow at her, teasing her in a way.

       “Of course not,” she shook her head, squishing his cheeks together, “Sober me loves you too much for that.”

       This caught Max off-guard. Sure, he hoped she still felt something for her, but he didn’t think he’d learn this during her drunken stupor. If anything, he was expecting her drunk self to admit she hated him and wished she could crash into the rear of his car.

       “I love sober you too.”

       “What about tipsy me?”

       “I’d hardly call you tipsy.”

       “Shut up and walk me to my hotel room,” she retaliated, rolling her eyes at him as she stumbled through the bar, waving at the rest of the team as she made her way back to the hotel room, Max right at her tail to keep her from tripping over.

       The short was fairly walked. Drunk y/n was more than determined to get herself back in bed to sleep the headache away. Max, on the other hand, was filled with concern for her, holding onto her whenever she’d fall or keeping her from bumping into things.

       She stopped in front of a door, pulling a key card out her purse and pushing the door open.

       “You going to do okay on your own?” he questioned.

       “No,” she admitted honestly, “Can you stay?”

       “y/n—”

       “I know it’s stupid and I’m probably going to forget this in the morning or whatever, but frankly, I don’t care,” she shook her head, “I’ll deal with this when I wake up, but for now, can you please just stay?”

       Max looked at her for a moment, letting out a sigh as she pouted.

       “I’ll stay.”

       “Thanks,” she smiled over at him as she jumped into the bed, “Join me?”

       “No,” Max shook his head, making his way over to the couch, “If you still feel that way tomorrow, I will. But right now, I think it’s better for us both if you sleep in your bed alone tonight.”

       “Okay.”

       She couldn’t argue with that, he was being a nice, decent man. It’s what she loved about him in the first place. He was always so nice to her, dating or not.

       She didn’t have much time to think about it as she fell asleep almost immediately with how much she wanted to get the day over with.

       She didn’t dream of anything that night. It was almost as though her body thought the same thing as her brain; she wanted to let the night pass as quickly as possible.

       She woke up the next day with a pounding headache, looking around the room in search of the Dutchman. Perhaps it was all a dream?

       If that had been the case, her doorknob would not have twisted open to reveal the Dutchman in her doorway.

       “This is technically breaking and entering,” she quipped, laying back in her bed, “Where’d you go?”

       “I got you breakfast,” he explained, holding up a paper bag from a nearby restaurant, “I can leave if you want me to.”

       “No,” she shook her head, “We’re going to have to talk about this.”

       “Do you want to wait until after breakfast?”

       “If it was up to what I want to do, we would never have this talk,” she shook her head. “Too much of a coward for important conversations like this.”

       “Well, I want to start by saying I’m sorry,” he frowned, “I was so stupid when I broke up with you, and it ended up making me miserable all season, and it led to all these confusing feelings, and I’m so sorry if I hurt you.”

       “Yeah, it did sting a bit,” she admitted with a sigh, “I don’t know, this whole season I just kept trying to do my best in the races. It was the last thing I told you I’d do, I had to stick to it.”

       “And you did amazing this season.”

       “So did you, Mr. World Champion,” she scoffed at the compliment.

       “Well, I would have did so much better if I was still with you this season,” he confessed, “Turns out I’m so much less motivated to win races when you’re not there to congratulate me on them.”

       “Same thing, honestly,” she laughed, “I had to stop myself from hugging you back in Monaco. I didn’t want to slip up from the whole professional shtick we had.”

       “It was stupid, really,” Max shook his head, “So, are we okay?”

       “I mean, we were always okay,” she paused, looking for the words, “We were okay, we just weren’t us.”

       “I missed you.”

       “So, are we doing this?” she questioned, “You still love me?”

       “Of course,” he nodded, pausing as he realized something, “But what about Carlos? You were happy with him and everything, I don’t want to get in the way of that if you guys are—”

       “We’re friends, Max,” she insisted.

       “But you guys switched caps and everything—”

       “Was that supposed to mean anything?” y/n questioned, breaking out in a fit of laughter at Max’s nervous demeanor, “Also, that was one time. I realized I accidentally let him borrow your cap, and I practically chased him down in the paddock to get it back.”

       “My cap?”

       “The one I ‘borrowed’ from you.”

       “You still have that?”

       Heat rose to her cheek as she found herself unsure of whether or not she wanted to tell him the truth. Fuck it, they were being honest at that moment.

       “I bring it with me on race weekends,” she admitted, “Sometimes, I even wear it. It’s what I was wearing when Carlos and I traded hats.”

       “You kept it?”

       “Is that bad?”  

       “No,” he shook his head, letting out a relieved laugh.

       “If we do this, I want you to know I’m not a championship girl,” she paused, blinking at her usage of words, unsure of how to properly phrase it, “I don’t want you running back to me just because you won the championship. I don’t want us to be like this until the next season rolls around and you’re suddenly deciding you want to do what’s best for the team again.”

       “Well, you know what I think would be best for the team next season?”

       “What?”

       “If their drivers got along the same way they did in the 2021 season,” he admitted as they both laughed, “I’m all in if you want to do this again.”

       “Of course, I want to do this!” she exclaimed, a smile making its way to her face, “Don’t get me wrong, you were an idiot, but I still love you, Max Verstappen.”

F1 TAGS: @errrrrat​ / @ricsaigaslec​ / @veronicapaula​ / @buendiabebeta​ /   (OPEN)    

THE CHAIN TAGS: @welcometomyworldwithoutrules / @sarahbeary / @southerngirlnow / @idkiwantchocolatee​ / @multilovebot​ 

MV1 TAGS: (OPEN)

[destinyc1020]

I’d love to hear your thoughts on Austin butlers new esquire article. It’s an amazing interview. He’s just so pure and humble. His maturity amazes me because I know some guys his age. They are not like that at all. It shows how amazing his mother was.

Oh Anon.... that interview was so well written....

I already knew most of the things stated in the interview about Austin, but it was nice hearing him expound a bit more on certain things, and also sharing a few things that I didn't know as well. 😊

Some of my thoughts....

Austin is so introspective and deep... you can tell he was a deep thinker, even as a kid. He's such an old soul.

I had no idea he was religious/spiritual?

I didn't know that he doesn't really drink. I guess Timmy saying that Austin was "drinking tea" in Brazil while Jason Mamoa was downing shots was true lol 😆 😂

I'm SO glad he quit smoking... 😩😭 That stuff will ruin your health. 🙏🏾

I'll admit, I was kind of shocked to see him say that he still loves and cares for Vanessa. 🥺

It seems Austin is going the Leo and Daniel Day Lewis route in trying to keep his private life separate from his work life. I know Leo has said in the past that when ppl know TOO much about your private life, it's hard for them to separate you the actor, from the character you're playing onscreen. I have to admit that there's some truth to that at times. It's harder for actors to really "disappear" in roles and be believable to the audience if the audience knows a little too much about you.

Him recounting some of the stuff that went on in his childhood was heartbreaking 💔

His mom seems like she was the sweetest woman 🥺 Parents of these actors really don't get thanked nearly enough. All of the sacrifices, driving to and from auditions, etc. Like, I know he's so appreciative for everything she did for him.

Some screen shots that stood out to me:

This broke my heart 🥺

Knowing how it felt to take care of my mom for months last year with her heart issues, I can personally attest that it's VERY stressful when your parent is dealing with health issues. I can't even imagine being a caretaker. 😔

.

Now I know where he gets his kindness from. 🥰

.

.

I feel so bad for him. 😭

You know, it's crazy, cuz when I would see him back then on like the Carrie Diaries, or see news about him on The Shannara Chronicles (never seen that show), I had NO CLUE back then that he was going through all of this. I just remember hearing all of a sudden that his mom died, but didn't know all of that other stuff was going on at the time, and that he was having to film that show right AFTER her funeral. 🥺

.

Lol this interviewer lady did the lord's work in telling us what we want to know lol 😆 😅

.

I'm SO glad he talked about this! 👏🏾 Maybe now V stans will stop making a big deal out of this.

I always felt like he was trying to protect his privacy and the awkwardness of having to talk about a past gf when you're trying to just promote your work. Turns out, he was also trying to protect Vanessa's privacy as well!

But her stans turned it into smthg that it was not. 😓

To me, the term "friend" is smthg that a lot of celebrities use if they want to maintain privacy.

It seems he still feels love and care for Vanessa...❤️ I mean, I guess you would when you've been with someone for nearly a decade, who was the person you were with basically your entire 20s. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Overall, very well-done interview!

[preet-01]

Well that was a race to forget, but there's a new chassis coming in China

Part 1

If Daniel had known how much hurt knowing Lewis would have brought him, then he would've declined Seb's invite to lunch all those years ago. He would’ve not gone and saved himself the heartache. Or at least that's what he would like to believe. But the truth is, Daniel would go through it a million times over. He’d accept that invite and he’d go to that lunch and he’d fall in love.

He would take every hurt and welcome the pain that Lewis had brought him with a smile and open arms. Because in the end, Daniel had gotten to love Lewis and be loved by Lewis. And that was worth all the pain and sadness. Though Valtteri called him an idiot for thinking like that. But Valtteri almost always called him an idiot for most things Daniel did — an outcome of their childhood spent competing against one another and generally being dicks.

"You don't have to come along," Daniel says when he spots the coronation invitation pinned on Valtteri's fridge with a bunch of other invitations and pictures from over the years. There’s a few pictures missing from the fridge. Pictures of Lewis and Daniel are no longer scattered with the rest. The picture from the first day at Lewis and Daniel’s shared apartment isn’t there anymore. Daniel had always liked that picture best — three of his favorite people all together as they’d celebrated a milestone in his relationship with Lewis. His own copy (and Lewis’) had been destroyed in a fit of anger and tears when Lewis ended it.

He won't admit to anyone else that it had hurt him more than he'd thought when just about everyone they'd been in uni with had gotten invites to the coronation and Lewis' confirmation. Seb was going. "He should have-"

"I want to come with you," Valtteri cuts him off.

The day before they're supposed to leave for the United States, Daniel texts Seb to go check on Lewis. They may not be together anymore, but Daniel knows Lewis well enough to know that he's stressing himself out with all the prep.

Daniel hadn't set a plan in stone or anything and Valtteri hadn't minded that either. They start in Chicago and go from there. "Do you want to talk about it?" Valtteri asks when they're stuck in the car.

"What's there to talk about?" Daniel questions. "Lewis will be king one day. His loyalty is to the crown," he sighs.

“Dan,” Valtteri sighs but he doesn’t continue on. Daniel’s grateful for that. He’d rather not get into how Lewis had left him alone in their apartment. Or how despite everything he knew, Daniel had thought maybe somehow they’d figure out a way to be together. That Lewis would be different and they could be happy.

He doesn't watch the coronation. Nor does he go on any social media, not that it was hard to do that. Daniel had never been good with updating his social media and keeping up to date with what people were doing.

Instead, they're on a hiking excursion. “You know we eventually have to talk about him,” Valtteri says.

If he had known that Valtteri wasn’t going to let the Lewis conversation die, he would’ve come on this road trip alone. (No he wouldn’t have. Daniel would’ve hated to be alone with his thoughts and he loved spending time with Val.)

“I know,” Daniel frowns as he looks up at the sun. It’s beating down on them, almost unbearable. But he would take the unbearable sun over sitting in an air conditioned hotel room and watching as his ex moves forward with his life. Sun burn was nothing in comparison to knowing that sooner than later Daniel would be nothing more than a forgotten thought as Lewis did all the great things he was destined for.

“If it’s any consolation, he does love you,” Valtteri tells him.

That’s the worst part of it all. Lewis loves him, but Daniel hadn’t been enough. Lewis loves him, but Daniel wasn’t his choice when it mattered. Lewis loves him and yet he left.