#from kolyat's pov?

[omegastation]

I ship kolyat/orianna now and it is entirely the fault of this blog. thought you should know

@autodiscothings is entirely at fault!!!!

[angstyastro]

Widower Update

Chapter 4: Shepard POV

[AO3]

We has updated fic ;’)

Shepard sat in silence with Tali and Jack for what felt like hours, but in reality, it couldn’t have been longer than 20 minutes before the doors to Medbay opened and Thane walked out. The datapad in his hands was being held tightly and he stopped as he took in everyone who was there waiting. 

Mordin quickly walked up to him and looked him over, likely due to Thane having left his oxygen treatment. After a few seconds of prodding from the salarian, he looked pleased.

“I-I apologize for startling everyone. I am feeling much better. Thank you, professor…I will come back and discuss…your offer at a later time if that is alright.” 

Shepard almost missed how happy that seemed to make Mordin as he replied with a curt nod.

Jack stood up and quickly began to make her way towards the elevator, “Well since you’re back up, don’t do that again. I’m going back to my place.” 

At first, Shepard had been surprised to see Jack had even been around when Thane fainted but apparently she had seen the whole event happen when she had gone back to the mess to get leftovers. 

Tali quickly made her way towards Thane and gave him a half-hug before she also turned and made her way towards the lift. 

Thane watched as Tali’s figure disappeared from view before his entire body deflated in relief. 

Shepard would have chuckled if she wasn’t worried. Thane never did like being so relaxed and unguarded unless he was with her or Garrus. 

He turned to Shepard and gave her a soft, forced smile. Similar to the ones he often gave her when they had first met. He was exhausted and it showed in every labored breath he gave.

He walked towards her and held out his hand. She instinctively grabbed hold of it and stood up to follow him.

He led her towards life support and as they made their way there they intertwined their fingers together in that comfortable manner that was simply theirs. 

Shepard wished she could say the short walk to his quarters was peaceful but she didn’t miss how tense Thane was. His shoulders were stiff and his brow ridges fixed into a frown. He was very much holding himself together until they were alone. 

Once they both made their way into his room, he turned around and activated the lock to the door. Shepard knew this talk was coming but suddenly she felt nervous. She sighed as she made her way to her usual seat. Thane quickly removed his coat and placed the small datapad he had against the makeshift nightstand next to his cot. 

Shepard wondered if she should ask what Garrus had said. 

“You saw him off?” Thane asked, finally breaking the silence they both had been in.

Shepard nodded and looked down at her hands. Her goodbye with Garrus wasn’t terrible but it was incredibly awkward and she would admit she hated that they couldn’t even have a normal friendly goodbye. 

“H-how was he?” 

Shepard glanced up at Thane and could see his features show how worried he was. She sympathized with Thane. She knew he was probably the most upset that he had missed Garrus’s departure in general. 

“He was…fine, awkward of course. We were all worried about you when you blacked out so a lot of our conversation was about you and making sure we let Kolyat know about it.” 

Thane’s frown seemed to deepen and Shepard felt worse. That’s probably not what he wanted to hear. 

“He really wanted to stay and make sure you woke up before he left but Hackett is really pressuring Joker to drop everyone off and wouldn’t allow us to stay in orbit of Palaven for very long.” 

Thane crossed his arms across his chest and sighed as he closed his eyes. He spent a few moments taking in deep breaths. 

Shepard knew that this was probably going to end even worse for them given that her plan to get Thane ready to say goodbye to her was almost a breakup in itself. 

Garrus might have stormed off that night in her cabin but he was right about Thane’s stubbornness of refusing any treatment for his Keprals. Shepard hated to admit it but if he kept going this way, it was very possible that Thane could be gone sometime soon and she may never get to see him again. 

She may also die before he does depending on whether they feed her to the wolves once she handed herself over to the alliance. 

“So Admiral Hackett is now in charge of the Normandy,” Thane finally said after a few moments. 

Shepard’s train of thought paused. 

“Admiral Hackett is just here to see my surrender once everyone is off the ship.” She replied. 

Thane huffed out a small humorless laugh, “No, Garrus was right. You’ve turned yourself in the moment you came back from the relay…and I am running to my death.” 

Shepard felt the words on the tip of her tongue evaporate. She didn’t know what to say to that. She was going to deny the statement that Hackett was in control but in reality, she knew she didn’t have much of a say when he had pressured her to speed up her goodbye with Garrus. 

“Thane…” she started. Unsure of how to go about the whole situation. It was ironic. There never seemed to be a barrier between them but then again Thane had always been good at having something to talk about. 

Thane shook his head, cutting her off, “Forgive me, I don’t want to have an argument and I don’t want our last days together to be filled with regret.” 

Shepard sat in silence and Thane stood with his arms crossed across his chest as he glanced at the guns he had on display. Shepard knew that Garrus and Thane had enjoyed spending hours going over different models. It was one of their many bonding activities.

She brought her hands up to her face as she sighed. There was no way around it. The problems that Garrus had pointed out were glaring them in the face and there was no real way to solve them. 

Not at that moment anyway. 

“Do you know what Jack told me the night you told all of us of your surrender to the alliance?” Thane asked quietly as he turned to look at her. 

Shepard glanced up to look at him and shook her head. 

“She told me that if I wanted, she would help me and Garrus take over the Normandy and send Admiral Hackett out the airlock.” He said with a small chuckle. 

Shepard couldn’t help the snort that escaped her. 

Oh, Jack. 

“Did she give you the same pirate queen plan she told me when she first came on board?” She asked, falling into a fit of giggles. As ridiculous as the topic was, Shepard couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image of Jack trying to get Thane and Garrus in on her hijack plans. 

Thane's lips had curled into a soft smile but his eyes held a distant look and his pupils were darting. He was reliving the memory but Shepard noticed he had decided not to share it. 

He blinked and returned to the present after a few seconds of silence. The smile was still on his lips as his attention drew back to her. 

She couldn’t help herself as she stood and reached out to cup his face. The need to touch Thane after seeing him unconscious was almost overwhelming. 

He leaned into her touch and Shepard felt his frills flutter underneath her fingers. A soft vibration buzzed through her hand and knew he was humming his subvocals. 

Thane brought one of his hands to hold the one she had against his cheek as he placed a soft kiss against her palm. 

He held her hand against his lips for a few moments and Shepard felt glued in place at the intensity of his stare. 

His dark eyes were locked on hers and she was reminded how she often couldn’t look away when he looked at her with that fierce intensity. 

“Would you be angry with me if I told you I would help Jack take over the Normandy and rid you of the Admiral?” He said finally. His expression was hard as he searched her face for her reaction almost like a dare to actually be angry. 

Shepard felt her heart speed up at that. The thought of Thane staging a coup with Jack to prevent her surrender sounded like something out of a romance vid. 

Before she could respond though, Thane reached out for her other free hand and started to tug at her towards him as he started walking backward. 

She was momentarily confused until she felt his arms snake around her waist and pull her down with him onto his cot. 

Shepard didn’t have much time to react or adjust their landing position as most of her weight landed on his hips and chest. They laid awkwardly and she tried to pull back to not put pressure on his abused lungs but Thane’s hold on her waist tightened. 

He had her locked in place and she was about to protest. 

“Please let me enjoy your warmth and presence before it is taken away from me as well.” He said so quietly that she almost didn’t hear him. 

She glanced up at him and saw his expression mirror the same pain she felt about the entire situation. 

After a few moments of silence, she nodded and slowly adjusted herself against him in a more comfortable manner. She laid her head against his chest and she could hear his breathing and heartbeat. 

They were both strong and she realized that the oxygen treatment must have greatly helped for the time he had been receiving it while he had been unconscious. 

She felt Thane’s fingers rake through her short hair soothingly. A habit he had learned from either Tali or Liara about the many things she liked. Who had given him that information? She never knew and Thane never shared. Garrus, who had also learned the habit, never told her either. 

But Shepard knew that only three people knew of her preference of having someone run their fingers through her hair and the suspects were Tali, Liara, and Kaidan. Thane and Garrus had to have learned from one of them and with how things ended between her and Kaidan, it was unlikely he was the one to let that secret out. 

Nonetheless, Shepard thanked whichever one of the ladies it was since Thane and Garrus always did this little act of intimacy when she was stressed. It was their way of helping her and Shepard guessed it also helped them relax to an extent. 

Shepard cuddled more into Thane’s embrace and closed her eyes. She took in his unique scent. She couldn’t put an exact name to it but it brought her immense comfort every time she was in his arms. Immediately Shepard suddenly felt small, useless, and downright terrified about what the next couple of days were going to be like. 

An unusual feeling for her. 

She had been so focused on the details about her surrender to the alliance that she actually hadn’t stopped to think about what that would mean in the long run. 

Sure Hackett had promised her that he and Anderson would fight for her innocence and freedom but that was only the fight of two men. The entirety of the Batarian government and other races angry with her choices would be against her. 

Garrus’s words began to really sting as she remembered what he had told her. That she was constantly running to meet her end faster than it was intended. 

She was terrified about how correctly he had read her. 

Shepard knew that planning ahead for every outcome had to be a part of every plan. Hell, it was her whole plan of action during her fight with Saren. 

But she wouldn’t lie, ever since she had been on the suicide mission placed on her by the illusive man she had pretty much decided that planning for the future was unnecessary if it meant that she wouldn’t live past it. 

And yet here she was and her impulsive actions with the mass relay were what now had her facing the consequences of not planning her missions out besides point and shoot. 

Garrus’s words about how she and Thane had no problem leaving him behind tore through her heart as she realized that had Garrus not called her and Thane out it was very likely he would be right. 

She would have left him behind again. The first time that happened was two years ago and then it would have happened again if she had died during the explosion of the mass relay. Eventually, Thane’s Kepral’s would also take him from Garrus and he would be exactly what he had said. A widower. 

Tears threatened to escape and Shepard bit her lip to prevent it. She didn’t cry. She wasn’t allowed to cry. She was Commander Shepard damn it.

She briefly considered if maybe Jack’s plan to hijack the Normandy might actually be the best thing to do in this situation.

That train of thought came to a halt when she felt Thane’s hands cup her face and lift it to face him. In her struggle to fight away tears she had started sniffling. Great, now she was going to look weak in front of him. 

Later Shepard would know that Thane would never see her as weak but she couldn’t help but feel that way at the moment.

He was the one who was struggling with his breathing and rightfully upset about not being able to see Garrus off and here she was only thinking about how Garrus’s words had been accurate about her. 

Just as she was going to apologize for getting emotional, Thane leaned down and kissed away a tear that had actually escaped and then softly pressed his lips against hers. 

“It is alright to cry Siha.” He whispered against her lips. 

Shepard felt her barriers crumble almost immediately as she finally let the rest of her emotions burst. She pushed herself up and buried her face into the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around her tightly as he let her sob onto him. 

She both felt and heard a strong subvocal purr from him and immediately recognized it as the one that he used frequently with her, Garrus, and Kolyat when they all had any sort of stressful emotions expressed. It had always comforted all of them as well which was the intended result. 

She pressed herself against him even more in an attempt to let the subvocal roll through her whole body which later she would realize might’ve been too much pressure against his chest but she couldn’t think rationally at the moment and Thane wasn’t objecting. 

After a few long moments of muffled crying, she finally got a hold of herself and pulled away slowly as she rubbed at her eyes and nose. The feeling of being disoriented was unnatural but thankfully she was in Thane’s cot and not standing. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand properly if she had been on her feet. 

Unfortunately, she probably looked a mess but Thane sat up with her and pulled out a soft white handkerchief he usually carried in his pockets. 

A very gentlemanly habit he had which she had playfully teased him about when she had first been talking with him and long before they had entered any romantic relationship. He had mentioned it was a human custom he found to be useful. 

He was right.

He gently wiped her eyes and nose with it and then handed it to her so she could blow into it if she needed to. His strong purr continued to vibrate enough for her to hear and she smiled weakly at him. 

“I’m sorry-“ she started but he cut her off as he leaned his forehead against hers. A very turian action he had learned from Garrus. Shepard felt her chest ache with the absence of the turian they both missed. 

Thane nuzzled against her and took in a deep breath. She was able to hear the soft wheeze escape him as he released it, “I know that we have been avoiding every issue that Garrus brought up and I also understand now that we will not be able to fix them. It is…too late and it is too much to really try to resolve without him here,” 

He grabbed hold of her hands and squeezed them gently before continuing, “and I am aware that you had probably planned to come in here with me to also…end our relationship due to the future being so uncertain for both of us and I will not begrudge you your choice Siha. I just wish to spend the last of our time together with no malice between us or with Garrus.” 

Shepard sucked in a breath. How was she so easy to read? 

“I love you Thane, I can admit that now and it will never change. I also know that…I may not see you again after you all are dropped off on Omega but if by some chance I do, I hope you don’t mind me trying to win you over again. Well…the both of you because Garrus isn’t getting away that easily. I ain’t a punk.” 

Thane’s lips turned up into a small smile at her last comment, “I was upset about my denial of treatment being a reason that Garrus chose to end our relations but I understand what he meant. I cannot promise anything to either of you and only Kolyat will be able to help me in deciding what to do going forward. But if there really is nothing that I can do then…I will await you both across the sea.” 

Shepard nodded before she closed the distance between them and drew him into a deep kiss. If this was the last she was going to see of him, she was going to make sure that their last moments together were good memories.

—

Garrus dropped his bags against the floor as he walked into his old home. It was so strange being back on Palaven and even stranger still standing in the main hallway of where most of his childhood was spent. 

“Garrus?!” he heard and before he knew it, his sister had rounded on him a lot faster than he had expected. 

“Sol-oof-” The impact of her hug almost knocked him down as she rammed herself into him. 

The smaller woman glanced up at him as she held him tightly. Her mandibles flared into a large smile and he could hear her subvocals vibrating in intense excitement. It was actually an unexpected response given that she had been more than a little unhappy about his absence when their mother was sick and his stunt in Omega. 

“Oh, I am so happy that you’re back home! I knew Commander Shepard would make sure you came back safe. Father was doubtful but I knew she would, you’ll have to send her my thanks.” She said as she ran her eyes across his face. Taking in every detail that had changed since the last time they had seen each other. 

“I thanked her for us Sol.” Garrus’s father said as he passed them and brought in some more of Garrus’s belongings. Garrus smiled and leaned to press his forehead against his sister’s. He had missed her dearly even if their last conversation had been a heated one. 

Before he could really respond to her though he felt his omnitool signal an important notification. 

He glanced down and saw the screen light up with Thane’s icon. He had sent him a message. 

His heart decided to speed up at that. He was finally awake and therefore, healthy again. Well as healthy as he could be given his condition, however, that also meant that Thane had read the letter that Garrus had left behind by now and suddenly he was very nervous. 

He knew he shouldn’t be since Thane was never a man who really held strong grudges or lashed out the way others did but he also knew that if the man ever felt strongly enough about something, he would share those feelings with the utmost bluntness that left nothing to argue about. 

“I…ah, give me a moment. I have an important message I have to read from the crew.” He said as he pulled away from his father and sister and started to make his way towards his old room. 

“I’ll have dinner ready in a bit so take your time and even take a nap if you need to.” He heard his sister say before he nodded his thanks towards her. 

Once he closed the door to his old room behind him-he didn’t even pay attention to how it had stayed remarkably unchanged since he last was there- he pulled up his omnitool again and stared at the small icon of Thane’s face next to his message for a few seconds before he finally opened it. It was short message in general: 

To: archangelgv

From: tkrios

Subject: Thank you

Garrus,

I thank you, Tali, and Jack for helping me during my attack. This was definitely something that none of us expected and I apologize for causing all of your stress because of it. Mordin has been tending to my care and will continue to do so for a while while we are stationed on Omega. 

I have read your message and I am only regretful that I was unable to see you off with Shepard. Know that you are in my heart and that I will treasure the time we spent together for as long as I draw breath. I have said my goodbyes to everyone in case I cannot in the future and I hope that perhaps I may be able to properly do so with you as well if there is some way we can meet again. 

If not then I only hope this letter may suffice. 

Shepard woke me from my battle sleep after years of living in solitude and you reminded me of what it meant to live and enjoy the moments I never considered to be important. I believed that I would never find another love in my life after my beloved Irikah’s passing but the Gods saw me worthy of not finding only one but two more. I will always thank them for it. 

Fate is often a beautiful thing when it comes to finding those who mean the most to us and it can also be cruel in how easily it can take it away. I will be honest, I have never had any romantic relationship I’ve been in end by the choice of my own or any partner that I have ever been with so your choice to end our…relations is something that I will have to come to terms with over time. Forgive me if I am not responsive to some of your messages if that is the case. 

Tali tells me that it may be best to not have too much communication with you if you wish to spend time to yourself after all this, which I will respect. I only wish to offer you the same friendship you have given me and Shepard during our time together. 

If you ever need a friend or someone to stand by you again, I am always at your side. 

Respectfully, 

Thane

Garrus swallowed hard as he reread the message. He didn’t know why it felt like this was it. This was Thane’s full acceptance of the breakup. 

A part of him wanted to chew Tali out about telling Thane to give him space but in reality, she was right. If Thane sent him constant messages trying to have that talk that he had wanted to in the mess then Garrus wasn’t sure if he’d be able to fully let his choice to break up with them stay in place.

Hell, he had almost folded and stayed on board while he was awkwardly saying his goodbyes with Shepard when they docked on Palaven. 

He sighed as he closed his omnitool. His heart was heavy as he realized that it was possible that he wouldn’t see Thane again if he didn’t at least once visit him after he was moved somewhere else after Omega. The thought of that sent a keen through him. 

Why was loving someone so painful sometimes?

[revasnaslan]

so i can offer three different options for wip wednesday

- grunt pov

- kolyat pov from the same fic

- irikah pov for a prompt fill

[autodiscothings]

Daddy Issues and Your Ghost.

Daddy Issues is corrupted, but luckily it’s not a WIP and actually published, to a fancier title: ‘Common Threads That Bind.’

It’s the first thing I wrote in Kolyat’s voice. I’m not sure I like it now, or that it’s part of his ‘canon’ so to speak. I’ve removed it from the collections, but not my Ao3, so it can still be read.

Your Ghost is an Ori POV story, and part of Gala of Honey. It got merged into the file, anyway. Excerpt after cut!

“Sorry,” he said, under his breath. Kolyat was a tightly coiled spring of nerves, bending suddenly to right the scattered shoes by the door as I took mine off.

There was a strange formality to plastered on his face, all guarded politeness and stiffened back, even though he was safe in his own home. It was not work Kolyat: there he was to the point, a professional in C-Sec blues. He could smile and I would even believe it, but I always thought it was because he knew what he was meant to be doing with a badge on, a clear role to play.

Instead he was improvising in his civvies, nervous at the free-fall. I didn’t think for one moment it was me that ruffled his frill, but rather the tall turian woman sitting in his living room, a glass of water in her hands.  Even she was dwarfed by his couch; the thing was huge, could fit six people on it and still be roomy- and yet, it was just me and the cat that used it.  

“Hi there,” she said, putting it on the table in front of her, beside an opened medic box. “Be out of your cowl soon, just a flying visit.”

Kolyat had an actual house guest, the first one I’d seen since we’d been together. I thought she was beautiful, all willowy lines and gentle brown plates and hide, dressed in the green and white of a science tech uniform.

Usually what I found attractive in turians they hated. Too brown, too plain, too delicate. It seemed she didn’t think of herself as much of anything, and shrunk into her seat when I looked at her again. “This is Dr. Tempani,” Kolyat said. “Dana, this is Oriana Lee, my girlfriend.”

He actually said the words without flinching, but Dana blinked at the introduction. “That’s a lovely name,” I told her. “Do you know what it means to humans? I’m sure you’ve heard it before.”

She looked at Kolyat before speaking. Dr. Tempani had no idea how much I knew about the Fish situation- a good friend, it seemed- and waited for a clue.  “A kind of instrument, right?”

“A drum, similar to a turian marching kefel. Similar sound and shape, made of copper. Has a foot to adjust pitch instead of strings like a kefel, but-“

I watched as Kol put his hands behind his back, his default state. Dana kept looking at him for help, unsure how much she should be saying.

He got the hint once he caught us both staring.

“Dr. Tempani is kind to come here in her spare time,” he said, after a throat clear. “I’m very lucky. So is Fish.”

That was all he could manage; I almost rolled my eyes. “Are you okay?” I asked him, trying to soothe the cracks. “You were fighting fit when I spoke to you this morning.”

“Of course I am.” Kolyat was quiet again.

We both gave up on trying to get water from stone, and talked around him. “I’m not that kind of doctor,” she said, standing up. “I’m here for the cat. Call me Dana, Dr. Tempani reminds me too much of my dad.“

She offered me a warm hand, a human gesture done for my benefit. I shook it, then sat opposite her on the couch. “Is she okay, then?”

“Fighting fit and angry about it.” A pair of heavy duty combat gloves was strapped to her belt, probably needed when dealing with a sullen Fish.

“That is her normal.”

Dana laughed politely. “I was in the area for a call-out, figured I’d swing by. A booster shot, it’s needed for regulation.”

She looked at Kolyat again, still unsure what to say. She had no idea how much of his secrets he had told me, even if I was his girlfriend.

Quite a few, as it happens.

“You can talk freely in front of Ori,” he said, and my heart doubled in size. “She’s known from the start.”

Dr. Timpani blinked in relief. “Oh, well. I also have some documents for Kolyat to fill in, nothing serious. I will say I have Fish in quarantine ready for adoption, but-”

That she was willing to lie for him so badly was a surprise, but I hid my reaction by making a show of looking for the cat. “I’ve left her in the bedroom to sulk if you’re wondering,” Kolyat said.

***

[mrs-pissoff]

Your eyes (part 3)

Part 1, Part 2

Thane Krios x Reader (3rd person POV)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Mass Effect or its characters, they belong to Bioware.

Warning: Long. Many words (2.91k).

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A handful of slow days passed since the breakdown in the kitchen and remembering the dispute didn't help understand the situation any better. If anything, it made her more dubious. Thane had no logical reason to feel any sort of fascination towards her as far as she was aware. The only good thing was, that no one witnessed any of it happening.

On the other hand, she was now pretty damn uncomfortable when she had to leave her room for anything and contemplated asking EDI to let her know who was lounging on Deck 3 before she'd go up. She didn't of course, as EDI would probably ask why it was necessary to know who was present and she really didn't have an answer that would be satisfactory. It was ridiculous really, and she began ironically thinking about requesting stealth training from Kasumi as another solution to avoid bumping into anyone, but especially Thane.

The universe was not having any of that however and she still came face to face with the assassin a few times. Of course she would. Life support was on Deck 3, impossible to miss or avoid. Lucky her.

They silently passed each other without a single word of acknowledgement every time they did meet, just like before, but instead of simply being unaware of one another, now it was more out of tension. At least on her part. She felt his dark eyes on her, and she caught herself glancing at him out of reflex as well. She really didn't enjoy being watched. Luckily they were never alone. No need to have another confusing conversation where either of them had to make a fool out of themselves. Not yet anyway. The man was reserved, and she was glad for that. Still, his presence was enough to unsettle her. Thane was a difficult man to read after all. His expression was always distant and she couldn't tell whether it held malicious intent or if he was simply lost in thought. According to what little she knew of him, it was likely the latter, but instincts are hard to ignore and being watched sets her on edge.

Nonetheless, he does possess a cold sort of allure that's difficult to ignore once one becomes aware of it. A realization that only served to confuse her more. She really didn't need another person to consume her thoughts now. She needed clarity. An emotional clean-up was in order, but nothing seemed to cooperate with her. If only she trusted others enough to talk to them about it, but her pride got in the way every time. 'I'll deal with it. It's my problem.'

When she was alone and could think to herself peacefully, she was constantly interrupted, taken on a mission, or called up for debriefing to get the team up to date with the next move against the Collectors. There was always something that distracted her. It seemed like Shepard came by more frequently as well. The Commander really needed someone to talk to these past days, and not just about the personal problems of the squad that needed to be taken care of before venturing beyond the Omega 4 Relay. She never took the Commander for someone who complained a lot, but it seemed Shepard was getting bogged down quite a bit and needed to drop some of that burden. She didn't mind talking to Shepard of course, no, but it was hard to bear when the Commander would talk about certain things. Like their developing relationship with Garrus. Oh the disadvantages of becoming a confidant.

It hurt, but she'd never admit it. No, she played the part of a supportive friend and wished them luck instead. That was the peaceful and mature way to handle this. It was just so damn hard to shake the desire to touch Shepard's face sometimes, or the need to hold them close. She wasn't even sure when these feelings developed or how deep they were. Maybe she was just getting desperate? Knowing the dangers of this mission and that there's a chance none of them will make it back. But she knew herself enough to know that these sorts of feelings never came quickly for her. Shepard is just so damn remarkable that it's hard to ignore. She was convinced that at least half the crew must have a crush on the Commander, if not all of them. The rest of the crew... Thane. Her thoughts came back to him.

For once she wished she could read minds. She wanted to know the intent behind his words, but without having to ask. An impossible task. Maybe she'll wake up one day and feel determined enough to ask him to clarify. It's harder to guess endlessly, than to face the music. At least that's what brave people say.

She decided to tempt fate and go take a shower after successfully snapping out of her thoughts. This time tends to be calm with less through traffic, though out here in space mornings and nights don't hold much meaning. Still, every ship tends to have its own rhythm and schedule and figuring out that rhythm does have its advantages.

Unbeknownst to her, others took advantage of learning that schedule as well, and the opportunity to gain insight would present itself sooner rather than later.

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He adopted the habit of pacing in his room restlessly. It eased his mind and helped tire his body at the same time. If only it gave him a solution to his problems as well.

Kolyat didn't answer his call today. He knew it wouldn't be easy, that his son had every right to be disgruntled with him, but he still had to try. Even if he ended up asking the same questions twice on some days, even if he had little to no knowledge about how to be a good father to him. Shepard urged him not to give up and he knew he can not give up. If there was even a slight chance to make things right, he'd have to take it. He knew, he really did, but some days his thoughts just weighed too heavy on him. Today was one of those days.

All of his past mistakes decided that today was the day to come back and haunt him and even if he's become accustomed to the feeling over the years, somehow recently it's been harder and harder to bear. He thanked the gods and goddesses that Kolyat could be saved, and even more so that his son was willing to forgive him after all the things he'd done, but he still couldn't soothe himself. Thoughts of what ifs flooded his mind and he wondered what else he could have done to make things better. Had he not left, Irikah would still be alive today and Kolyat would have grown up with them both. He wondered how much better it would have been if he stayed. He wasn't exactly a model father before either. All he had were his skills as an assassin, and those didn't help him in his day to day life. Perhaps he just needed more time to learn the ropes. He should have tried for the sake of his family. For Kolyat.

A flash of light blinded his mind as he recalled the day of their reunion in perfect detail, the face of his crying son ripping into his soul. He was the reason behind all that pain, although he never meant to be the one to cause Kolyat anguish. He's asked for his forgiveness many times since then, but it will take much more than that. Kolyat needs time, but he's wondering whether he has enough of it to spare. To think he was ready to depart his body, now even that is questionable.

Suddenly another memory enters his mind, a memory of that very same day, but not of his son. It's the memory of her words crashing against him like a violent tidal wave against a crumbling wall of stone. Those words have haunted him ever since. He tried shaking her image out of his mind without rest, as he believed he had moved past such things long ago, but the memory kept coming back relentlessly and soon he found himself thinking about her more and more. He'd listen to her voice and seek her gaze constantly, hoping to take as much of her in as he could. Perhaps that is what led him to confess his interest so prematurely. He should have kept silent. If he had, then at least he could still see her around more. Now it seemed as if she was no longer aboard the ship at all.

He was reminded of her puzzled face as he voiced his thoughts, and wanted nothing more than to let her know he would understand if his interest was unwanted. That he would keep it to himself. It was beyond selfish of him to want attention after all, especially now as he is nearing his life's end. And yet, the selfish part of him still yearned for affection, perhaps more so than he wished to admit.

The sound of the elevator reached his ears, and he could tell by the soft footsteps that whoever it was, they wished to remain unnoticed. That could only mean one person, and it was someone he desired to talk to. He approached his door, but by the time he reached it, she was gone, the bathroom door closing behind her. Having missed his chance he decided to head for the kitchen, he has yet to eat, so he might as well do that. Perhaps deep down he hoped she'd join him. A slim chance was better than none.

He finished his meal rather quickly and sat back down, feeling unusually tense again, and becoming aware of every little sound around him. The faint sound of conversation coming from the crew quarters, the low hum of the lights, the occasional drip coming from the tap. He could even hear Miranda walk around in her room. Perhaps it would be better to leave, instead of forcing a conversation. Everything will happen in its own time.

As he stood up, ready to head back to his room, the door to the bathroom opened and his legs carried him towards the sound. She was heading to the elevator but threw an absent-minded glance in his direction. Humans seemed to have this so called sixth sense where they would feel someone else's presence without actually meaning to. He's seen this occasionally with some of his targets as well. It was a fascinating occurrence to withstand. Of course that meant she wasn't actually aware of him standing there, and when she saw him, a small sound of surprise escaped her lips. He seemed to have a habit of startling her.

"When's your birthday? I'll get you a pair of clown shoes that honk with every step as a present." Surprisingly her voice held a hint of amusement, and a small smile indicated that she was more than pleased with her remark. A rather unexpected reaction.

A barely audible and contented hum left him before he responded. "I think I'd like that."

"Then remind me the next time we're on the Citadel. I know a shop. Goodnight."

And with that, she headed for the elevator.

He really didn't want her to leave, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to discuss the situation he's created, so he approached her and motioned towards his room.

"Can I have a moment of your time?"

A glint of panic crossed her face as she followed the line of Thane's outstretched arm with her eyes until they settled on the door to life support, lingering on it for a few seconds before answering.

"Alright, but I won't stay long."

"Of course."

He opened the door motioning for her to step inside, before closing it behind her, then taking a seat at the table, facing her direction. She stood by the door looking rather uncomfortable, something he anticipated would happen.

"Please, take a seat."

With a curt nod, she took the seat opposite of him and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed.

He placed his hands on the table and linked them together, carefully putting the words together in his mind.

"I believe I owe you an apology first. It was not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable. I let my thoughts escape me when I should have stayed silent."

"It caught me off guard, but it hardly warrants an apology. Especially after the things I've said to you. It wasn't my place to get involved in your private business. That said, I won't pretend I understand what you meant by it."

"I find you rather remarkable. Your words... they were harsh, yes, and I did not anticipate such a reaction. Though perhaps I should have. My actions were far from acceptable."

"Very far, but it still wasn't my concern. It was a lapse of judgment on my part. I should have stayed silent as well, so I guess that makes us even. That is hardly reason enough to find anyone remarkable, though."

She leaned forward and put her elbows on the table, slightly dipping her head down to avoid his gaze. He wanted to tell her how her act of compassion for his son moved him. How it was difficult to find people who genuinely cared about others even when they gained nothing in return. Or how he found her support of Shepard's happiness admirable, even if it was apparent to him how much it hurt.

"On the contrary. It is rare to find people who would show such compassion for a stranger, or support a loved one's happiness even at their own expense."

Her eyes shot up and bored into his after hearing the last part. He couldn't have meant... but before she could ask him to elaborate, he spoke again.

"I'm drawn to you, but I will understand if it's unwelcome."

It has been a long time since he felt affection towards another, and the first time his feelings were for a human. He barely knew how to live a normal life among his own people and in his own culture in the past, much less how to present himself to someone of another species when it came to romance. He spent the last decade alone and deep in his battle sleep. This sudden change was as unanticipated to him as his words were to her now.

She remained silent for a while, avoiding his curious eyes, heart beating rapidly in her chest as she desperately urged her brain to come up with a coherent reply, and fast. She was still in the middle of sorting herself out, managing and understanding her own feelings for Shepard, and now another grenade was thrown at her feet. Sure, she considered there could be more behind his words. Just not this. There was no way she could get to a conclusion here and now. She needed more time.

"I can't tell you if it's unwelcome. Not yet, but you've certainly invaded my thoughts recently..."

"Of course, I understand. It must be overwhelming."

He placed one of his hands on top of hers reassuringly and felt her hand jump slightly at the sudden contact. He pulled his hand back up, but she took a hold of it and placed it back down onto hers. Her hand was trembling and her eyes were closed, but the contact made his body fill with hope and warmth.

She realized just how touch-starved she was now. This simple interaction almost made her heart burst out of her ribcage and she made a mental note to lecture herself for it later. For now she enjoyed the moment before she broke the silence.

"You know, Shepard made quite the effort to bring you up in nearly every discussion we had. I've been told a few things about you that I've never even considered. They probably contributed to your decisions, even if I still think they were bad decisions. It never occurred to me that your son wasn't the only one hurting. That you've both suffered more than enough."

She took a deep breath and looked at his hand resting on hers. Somehow it felt right.

"I abandoned my family. My wife was killed and Kolyat suffered because of me."

"Yes, you've paid a steep price. One that will haunt you until your last day. But you feel regret and have a desire to right your wrongs. Those are more important than you might think, even if they can't help you change the past. It might sound strange coming from me, but you deserve to feel happy. Don't deny it to yourself."

"You... you are very kind. I will keep your words in mind."

Relief washed over her and the burden on her consciousness lessened. Thane made many mistakes, none of which will be forgotten, but as long as he yearned to correct what he could, it could be forgiven. She was interested in seeing him change for the better.

"I really should let you be now, but I wouldn't mind talking to you again."

"I'd like that."

With that, she slid her hand out from underneath his, both of them missing the sensation immediately after it was gone. She shook the feeling off and stood up to leave, muttering a faint 'Goodnight' as she headed for the door. He watched her retreat as excitement settled into his chest.

The future was uncertain and yet hopeful.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think this will be the last part. I don’t really see the point of continuing it since I’m pretty unhappy with the whole thing hahhaaahaa.

In any case, if someone is reading this, I hope it was at least a bit enjoyable C:

[pikapeppa]

Pikapeppa READS (for once): Multi-fandom fic recs!

I spend a hell of a lot more time writing than reading, but I finally sat down to read a bunch of stuff this week, and I thought I would finally make a fic rec post. I’m sharing recs for Horizon Zero Dawn, Dragon Age, and Mass Effect; most will be NSFW. Please see below the cut if you’re interested! 

Horizon: Zero Dawn

- Between Armor and Skin by @jadefyre . This is a wonderful 3-part Aloy/Nil PWP that I had the pleasure of watching the lovely jadefyre actually write (the magic of Google Docs!!! LOL!). I highly recommend this gem.

- Time Out by @silencenorth . Also a great piece of Aloy/Nil smut, set under a waterfall. And you guys know how I feel about Aloy and Nil and waterfalls. 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- The Moth by @sacrificethemtothesquid . Now this one is an Aloy/Erend fic, and ya’ll know this is not my ship, but this fic is so well-written and heart-wrenchingly beautiful that I devoured it like dinner when I first came upon it. I’m admittedly like 10 chapters behind at this point, but I look forward to catching up REAL soon.

- Coffins and Carnations by @problematic-cinnamon-roll. Back to Aloy/Nil again, and this time an ADORABLE flower shop AU that had me giggling like a schoolgirl on the subway. Another one I need to catch up on soon!

Dragon Age

- Anachronism by Maleficar on AO3. A time-travel Solas/Fen’Harel/Lavellan fic that is INSANELY HOT but also with a perfect pinch of feels and some awesome/intriguing young!Solas headcanons. This is one of my favourite pieces of fanfic and of smut that I’ve ever read.

- The Benefits of Banging Some Bricks by Maleficar on AO3. The premise here is that Skyhold - yes, the castle of Skyhold - seduces the Inquisitor. It sounds like crack but it’s fucking magic, people. LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY.

- Pas de Deux by Maleficar on AO3. Okay, fine, I just really love this particular writer, but this here is a piece of Solas/Trevelyan smut that is just... so insanely hot. Hot, and beautifully written, and well-tailored to the fact that the Inquisitor involved is a human and not an elf, and such a gorgeous dark!Solas characterization, I just... please, read it. You won’t regret it. *sploosh*

- Message Sent by Aicosu on AO3. Modern AU Solas/Lavellan where their relationship develops entirely via text and eventually phone. It’s... how can I explain this: @hellarcanine and I spent this whole day reading and screaming about this fic from opposite sides of the earth. It’s funny, adorable, heartwarming and heartwrenching, and ends on a horrible cliffhanger because it’s unfinished. You’ve been warned.

- Sovereignty by gamerfic on AO3. Solas/Abelas/Lavellan threesome fic that actually has a very interesting plot, interesting feels, and really fucking hot smut, with an extremely intriguing twist ending that I would honestly love to see a follow-up for.

- Midsummer Dream by @dismalzelenka. Cute and funny Blackwall/Lavellan smutty oneshot with Lavellan being cheeky and Blackwall falling into her charms despite himself - my favourite kind of Blackwall catnip. Super enjoyable!

- Like a Lonely Lover’s Charm by acertainheight on AO3. Beautiful, torrid, vicious smutty femHawke/Isabella oneshot where Isabella has to save femHawke from a desire demon. It’s... god, it’s something else. The first and best piece of f/f smut I ever read.

Mass Effect

- Popping the Heat Sink by @makocartwheels. Honestly, guys, everything Mako writes is fucking gold, but I’m just going to talk about this set of smutty Shakarian oneshots. It’s Shepard and Garrus learning the secrets and pleasures of interspecies sex. It’s hot and touching and beautifully written, and honestly, it’s my favourite little series of Shakarian fic of all time.

- Rust by @orangeflavoryawp . A short, beautiful and heartbreaking Shepard/Mordin piece that had me bawling. Have your tissues ready if you brave this one.

- All Things Worth Keeping by @ahealthylionisanonillion. Super rarepair of Kolyat/female OC who is not Shepard. Honestly, this fic - I don’t even remember how I got here, but it’s SO interesting from a non-Shepard POV, and well-written with fascinating world-building and humour that is clever as fuck. It’s a WIP, and the writer is meticulous about editing and trying to improve it (although it’s PERFECT AS IS IMO), but honestly it’s so worth reading.

- In the Yellow Time of Pollen by @thunderheadfred. Sara Ryder/Kallo Jath fic that honestly makes my chest hurt when I read it. It’s so fucking beautifully written, and the smut is both gorgeous and so, so strange - salarian sex like whaaat?? But seriously, this is a fantastic piece of fic and headcanon and writing, and I get giddy every time it updates.

Hopefully some of you guys will find something new to read among these gems!

Love,

- Your friendly neighbourhood Pika xoxo

[masseffectspotlight]

What got you started writing Fanfic? "No one else is writing this. Guess I should get on with it," was the thought process. My first contribution to the fandom was a Scott Ryder/Vetra Nyx pseudo political thriller. (An actual rare pair, believe it or not.) Are there any authors, published or fanfic, that inspire you in anyway? Terry Pratchett, Ben Aaronovitch, Kate Atkinson, Jane Austen and Joe Abercrombie I read regularly. What Mass Effect character comes easiest for you to write and why? This can be a canon character, an OC, or one of the MCs (Shepard/Ryder) Kolyat Krios. Are there any characters you want to tackle writing but haven't yet? Why? My own damn Shepard. She's just offstage, like a twinkling star to write around. Time to talk about your fics! What's your favourite story you've written / are working on? I write mainly about DI Kolyat Krios solving crime and scowling a lot while doing so. I call it the Disconnect universe, and have written just under 100k words in it( Crime/thriller genre writing in the Mass Effect fandom is an odd duck, but I still feed it bread at the park.) What's your second favourite story you've written / are working on? My Scott/Vetra piece: Autonomy (It's been retired for now.) What's your third favourite story you've written / are working on? Detachment. My collection of drabbles/one shots. Some of them might not be "official" Disconnect canon so to speak, and are thought/writing experiments. What are your greatest challenges when writing? First person POV can be fairly railroaded with what you can show, especially when I have to show plot off screen from Kolyat's POV. He can also get a bit "unreliable narrator" on me, and I have to hope my audience can read between the lines of his words. Kolyat can also be a stubborn asshat and sometimes, and I need other characters to drag him towards the plot since he won't go, or have plot trip him up. (Thanks Kolyat.) What are your greatest strengths when writing? Worldbuilding and keeping a tight grip on my story (I shoot plot bunnies with no mercy.) I'm also good at making a character have a unique voice/story, even if they're mook #3 from the left. Actually getting on with writing it. Easier said then done of course, but can force myself when not drowned in work to do it. Okay, we're almost done! Any WIP or sequels or anything you'd like to give a hint about? 1) Oriana Lawson stays at a creepy space station's motel in the middle of nowhere, and has to fight her way out. I loathe certain horror tropes as much as I loathe crime ones, and Ori is smart enough to escape. 2) Oriana and Kolyat go on holiday after a traumatic case for Kolyat. Two workaholics vacationing? And avoiding talking about their feelings? Oh boy. 3) Disconnect sequel set on the Citadel- politics! Terrorists! Moving into a new apartment! The C-Sec squad! Aww yiss. ​4) To be published soon: "Selkie," a case of a murdered Alliance officer found in the slums of the Lower Wards. Novella, around 10000k words written on it so far. A strong Kol/Ori focus on it, for once. I indulged in "ship" fic.

[cousinslavellan-archive]

Falling For the Prey - Pt 3

Kolyat’s confused and somewhat worried by Thane’s preoccupation with his newest target. He’s seen him in Battle Sleep, seen him hunt, but this is different.

So he takes matters into his own hands - goes to C-Sec to investigate the woman that has entranced Thane Krios.

He didn’t realize how in-over-his-head he was getting.

Eventual Thane x Willow, AU, Kolyat’s POV for this chapter.

Imma just let you guys read... meep. Enjoy?

Kolyat - 08:00

A month later, Kolyat isn’t even surprised to find Thane awake and staring off into space - information and images scrolling forgotten on the screen as he walks past to grab breakfast from the fridge.

At first, it had seemed like any other hit - his father doing the normal research, the usual profiling, tracking and observing the target as he had many others in the past.

Now, though… he’s seen Thane consumed by Battle Sleep, before. Seen him addicted to the rush, or obsessed with a hit, needing to finish it and move on.

This… this is different. This is Thane watching quietly as Shepard goes on patrols, making quiet comments on how precise she is, how confident and careful, sighing almost wistfully every time she returns to the C-Sec office or her apartment - the two places he has no cameras. He’s also spent more time the last week staring off into space, zoned out, then he has watching the cameras.

“I’m surprised you don’t have cameras in her home, Father.” Kolyat comments, sitting at the opposite edge of the table with his coffee and cereal, “Wouldn’t it help you keep track of her better? Let you know what she’s up to when she’s home?”

“A target’s home is only to be bugged if that is where the hit is planned, Kolyat.” Thane scoffs, but there’s a softness to his tone as he goes on to say “I am not the type to spy on a lady in her personal space.”

Okay. This is weird.

Kolyat stares at his father for a while - listening to his sighing, watching as he sinks back into a daze - and suddenly it hits him.

His father is infatuated with Willow Shepard.

“She’s still investigating your old hits, isn’t she?” he asks casually, watching Thane.

“She is - she’s identified my three oldest alias’, in fact. Officer Shepard is a very clever woman - where no one else made any progress, she has taken leaps.”

“Isn’t that a bad thing?”

“Please, Kolyat; give your father some credit. I stage a death everytime I switch alias’ - all of her leads so far will have led her to dead ends.”

“You seem almost in awe of her, father.” Kolyat treads carefully, speaking quietly, “Almost as if you… like her.”

Thane goes very still, suddenly, eyes sharpening - Kolyat worries that he’s pushed to hard, said too much. It’s not like Thane has had any relationships since his mother had died - he hasn’t shown interest in anyone, so maybe he’s reading the signs wrong, it’s something else…

“That… is a dangerous thought, son.” Thane’s voice is soft, but the words seem loud, “And yet, perhaps there is truth to it. I am… intrigued by her. Curious, and awed. In much the same way as your mother did, she has captured my interest. Which leaves me at a difficult point.”

“She’s your target.” Kolyat says, watching his father's expression - held carefully neutral, but with a shade of despair lurking beneath.

“Not only that. Your mother… that I managed to gain her affection was a fluke, Kolyat. I am no romancer. Even were she not my target, would my suit be welcomed? How would I approach her? What can I offer her?”

Thane scowls then, standing and striding away into the living room, leaving Kolyat feeling more confused than ever.

“Father…?”

“I… need to meditate, for some time. I apologize.”

Kolyat stares at the open terminal for a moment - the backless screen allowing him to see the files still up, the ID picture from Officer Shepards badge, and he stands as well, a plan forming.

“I’m going out for a while!” he calls to Thane, grabbing his jacket and zipping it up, “Need to pass out some applications.”

“Be safe.”

“Of course, father.”

Kolyat lets the door click shut behind him, steels himself, then strides off into the belly of the Citadel, taking routes he hopes his father doesn’t have bugged.

Because if his father knew he was headed to C-Sec, he may not have let him go.

 C-Sec is quiet when Kolyat approaches, making it easy to slip into the safe zone of the offices and out of the range of any hacked cameras. He takes a moment to observe the space - the officers going about their business, the layout of the desks, the location of cameras and security grids and weapon lockers.

He may not be an assassin - has no plans to ever be an assassin - but Thane had ensured he knew how to handle himself, how to examine a situation, how to fight if need be.

There’s a human male with short, nearly white hair sitting near the front doors, the plaque on his desk reading Captain Bailey.

It’s a place to start. Just don’t seem to nervous.

Kolyat keeps his strides short, shoulders straight - wearing the barest hint of nerves, the type one would show when legitimately applying for a new job - coming to a stop before the desk and doing his best to sound polite, “Excuse me.”

Captain Bailey pauses in his typing, looking up at his voice; he lifts an eyebrow, looks him over, then says “Hello, son. What can I do for you today?”

“I was hoping to put in an application.” it’s an excuse, really - he’d just wanted to get a look inside the offices, see if he could spot Officer Shepard, spot some difference, some hint of what has his father so intrigued - but he does his best to seem honest, hopeful.

“Ah, you’ve seen the recruitment ads, have you?” Bailey chuckles, typing something that pulls up another program on his terminal. “Do you have your resume handy?”

Kolyat nods and types at his omni, sending the file to the terminal with a decisive click.

Bailey reads over the information, hmming and hawing - Kolyat doesn’t pay much attention. He’s to busy looking at the layout and keeping watch for a head of copper hair, wondering where exactly Officer Shepard sits, if she’s even in the office or if she’s patrolling - I would choose the one day she’s not in to try and run recon, good job Kolyat…

“Kolyat Krios, huh?” his name brings him back to attention, gaze snapping to the captain's, “You ever fired a gun, kid?”

“I have. Most drell on Kahje go through a basic self-defence program in their youth.” he says, only half lying - drell taken into certain positions with the compact were trained in their youth, yes, but his own training had come from Thane. You need to know how to protect yourself, should anyone ever come calling. I will not allow what happened to your mother to happen to you.

“Right, you’re hired, then.”

That makes him freeze, blinking at the captain silently for a moment.

“Ah, pardon?”

“You’re hired.” Bailey’s standing, motioning for him to follow, talking as he walks, “You’re the first applicant who’s at least got some appropriate background, Krios. I’d be stupid to not give you a chance, at least. Your trainer will go through the necessary paperwork with you, get you fitted with a vest and do a test of your shooting skills - trainees don’t get a pistol right away, but she’ll need to confirm you have some skill with a gun.”

“Sounds fair.” Kolyat mutters, trying to control his panic - this was not the plan, I was not supposed to get hired here! What if I run into-

“Ah, Willow, got a minute? I’ve officially hired your first trainee!”

Oh sweet merciful Kalahira why.

Kolyat stays as far behind Bailey as possible as they approach the desk, eyes locked on the woman sitting behind it - one that he recognizes all to easily from the personal records and security cams on his father's terminal.

Willow Shepard glances up from her terminal and gives Bailey a grin before her gaze flicks to him, and again he has to shove away panic at the way her eyes narrow just a little, expression pinching for a moment before what reads as almost recognition flits across her face.

“Finally managed to wrangle one, Bailey?” she jokes, shutting down the windows on her terminal as she stands, hands on her hips.

Probably the files on father’s old hits.

“Hey, he applied without any direct coercion from me.” Bailey chuckles, motioning him forwards, “This is Detective Willow Shepard, kid - she’ll be in charge of your training, and has the final say on if you make it into the force proper or not. Willow, this is Kolyat Krios. Go easy on’im, will ya? We need more recruits.”

Willow rolls her eyes, placing her hand over her heart, “I promise to play nice. Now shoo and let me deal with the paperwork.”

“Good luck, kid.” Bailey mutters, clapping him on the shoulder and heading off with a wave.

Leaving him alone with the woman his father is both infatuated with and hunting.

This… is bad.

“Alright, Kolyat.” Willow holds out a hand, grinning, “Welcome to C-Sec training. Today’s the boring day - paperwork. Have a seat.”

“Thank you, Detective Shepard.” he shakes her hand, surprised at the snort that leaves her.

“Please, Officer Shepard or just Shepard is fine. ‘Detective’ is to… ah, I donno, stuffy.”

“Alright.”

Willow takes a seat and starts typing on her terminal, and Kolyat is careful not to stare too obviously, trying to puzzle her out.

“Y’know… you look kind of familiar.” she says after a while, eyes still on the screen, “Were you in Zakera Cafe a few weeks ago? With another drell?”

Merciful Kalahira.

“Ah, yes - my father.” Kolyat clears his throat, keeps his voice level, “I haven’t seen him in some time - we were catching up.”

“Mmm, I think I heard you mention a job search that day - I wasn’t intentionally listening, I promise.” Willow smirks, goes back to her typing, “Your search led you here, huh? Can’t say I’m complaining - you seem like you’ll be a decent fit. Just gotta start going through the forms, now.”

Kolyat tries to relax after that, answering her questions honestly - as honestly as he can, anyways - and signing off on the datapad she hands him, slightly dazed as Willow gets him fitted with a vest and leads him into their private shooting range.

“Alright, kid.” Willow pulls a pistol from its rack, checks the safety on it, then hands it over, “Let’s see how your aim is.”

Checking the round and making sure the gun is properly loaded is second nature now, and Kolyat fires off the three shots remaining in the clip without thinking about it; never quite perfect centre, but close enough that he’d have done damage if the target was a person.

Willow’s expression is impressed and considering, and the barest hint of suspicion has him panicking again, wondering if he’s managed to fuck up after all.

Another moment passes, and then Willow’s grinning again, taking back the empty pistol and hanging it back on the racks, “Impressive, kid. You’ll do just fine. We’ve got a bit more paperwork to go, but then you’re free for the night - hopefully early mornings don’t bother you?”

“Not at all.”

“Good, because I’m usually here by 05:30, and I want you here no later then 06:30. We’ll discuss your schedule back at my desk.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Willow grimaces at the term, “Great, now I feel old. C’mon, kid, let’s get the boring stuff finished up.”

 Kolyat doesn’t bother trying to sneak back into the apartment - he’s sure Thane’s been watching the cameras, seeing where he’s been and why he hasn’t checked in.

He’s definitely not surprised to find his father back at the kitchen table, this time sitting facing the front door; a cup of tea in one hand, expression perfectly neutral.

“Kolyat,” there’s a different inflection to his voice - not anger, he can tell, but something else, “Why were you at C-Sec?”

Right to the point, as usual.

“I thought I would put in an application; they’re looking for new recruits.”

“Kolyat.” Thane says again, and now he can tell the difference is concern, “You are aware that this action could be dangerous for both of us, yes?”

“I know, but I’m just a recruit - I’m not being sent on any dangerous assignments, father.” Kolyat shrugs, tries to look chagrined, “Besides, I thought I could help you, this way.”

“Help me?”

“You can’t get into the security cameras inside C-Sec - if I’m there, and I see Officer Willow, I can keep you updated.”

Thane is silent for a moment, tea seeming forgotten, and his voice is very quiet when he says “I have always done my best to keep you away from my work, Kolyat. To keep you safe.”

“I know, father. I won’t do anything that could draw attention to myself, I promise.”

“Alright.” another pause as Thane turns to type something on his terminal, then an almost hesitant “Did you see Officer Shepard?”

“No.” he hates lying, but he wants more time before he tells him, needs to figure out what, exactly, has drawn his father in so, “I haven’t been assigned to a trainer, yet. Just got a bunch of paperwork done today.”

“I see. Keep me updated, then. And congratulations, Kolyat.” Thane smiles then - the barest quirk, but enough for Kolyat to see - “You’ll do well.”

“Thank you, Father.” he responds, swallowing back the guilt.

He’ll find out soon enough, anyways. Hopefully I’ll have enough time to figure things out.

 Kolyat’s first week at C-Sec is spent inside the offices with Willow, going over every protocol and safety check she can think of - reviewing the current crime zones, known criminals, procedures for interacting with anyone in custody.

She shows him how to work the standard handcuffs he’s been given - able to resize to fit any current Citadel-dwelling species, a smart change - and how to adjust his vest properly, which straps to adjust and tighten.

“An ill-fitting vest could mean a bullet slips through - or that you’re not properly protected against a biotic blast.” she’d quipped, grinning, and it had reminded him so much of his father he’d had to pause for a moment, surprised.

The next week she takes him out on patrol twice - just doing a loop of Zakera Ward, not a specific assignment, and while Kolyat’s sure his father has noticed them he doesn’t say anything  about it. Too busy dreaming and hesitating. He thinks one night, then scowls and scolds himself, knowing that’s unfair - Thane’s position is hardly an easy one, and his father has always been shy regarding new people. Well, new people he’s interested in. Which has been zero till now.

Willow sits him down at her desk after the second patrol, showing him how to file a report and then having him write one, nodding and giving pointers as he types, laughing and clapping him on the shoulder once he’s done.

“You’ve got a knack for this, kid.” she praises, and Kolyat can’t help a swell of pride, returning her smile without a hint of nervousness.

He gets it now, he thinks. Sort of. He gets why Thane is so attracted to this human woman - and he hopes, honestly, that his father will call off the hit.

Willow continues to impress in the days after - shares little tips with him, stories and jokes, and when he arrives one morning to her puzzling over one of Thane’s old hits, she just waves and sips at her coffee.

“Sorry, Kolyat, just wanted to check something - decryption finally finished on this damn file.”

“What’s it about?” he asks casually, sipping at his own coffee as he sits across from her.

“Ah, just old unsolved cases - everytime I think I’m getting somewhere, the suspect turns up dead.” Willow shrugs a shoulder, closing the program and opening her email instead, making a quiet hmmmm noise before typing away, “Interesting.”

“Everything alright?”

“Yup, just my cousin - she checks in pretty often, keeps me updated on things.”

“Your cousin is Commander Shepard, right? The one who defeated Saren?”

“Yup, that’s the one - not a lot of us ‘Shepards’ around.” Willow hmms again before closing out the windows and standing up, bringing her coffee with her, “Alright, let’s go; a couple of drug dealers got brought in late last night, and they’re doing interrogations shortly. Figured we could watch, so you can get an idea of the proceedings.”

“Sure.” Kolyat says, following after.

 The next Wednesday starts off with an email from Thane - letting him know that he had something to take care of and would be out for the day - and getting ready as usual, off to C-Sec without a trace of the nerves he’d originally had.

Willow hasn’t shown any signs of suspicion since his first week, and she’s not only a good trainer, but a genuinely good person.

I get the infatuation, now - she seems his type. Now if he’d just call off the hit…

But that’s up to Thane, and Kolyat isn’t going to push him - not when pushing him could make things worse.

Willow’s at her desk with a coffee as per usual, grinning and lifting a hand in greeting, and Kolyat grins back.

“Shepard!” Bailey barks suddenly, striding over, “We’ve got a problem.”

The Captain’s expression is grim - one Kolyat doesn’t remember seeing, before - and Willow straightens immediately, “What’s happened?”

“It’s your kids, Shepard. Report just came in that one of the older ones shot the worker at a fruit stand down in the lower wards - victims alright, but he’s pissed and out for blood. You know where they could get a gun?”

“It sure as hell wasn’t me - have any gang recruiters been spotted around Zakera lately?”

“Not that I’ve heard, but you never know - could be who gave your kid the gun. Doesn’t matter. Take care of it before someone else decides to step in, ASAP.”

“We’re on it, Bailey.” Willow’s up and holstering her pistol immediately, jerking her head at him as she goes, “Let’s go, Kolyat - need to deal with this now.”

“Right behind you.” he says, a sick feeling in his stomach - the one day father isn’t watching the cameras is the day I wish he was.

Willow’s nearly running as they head for the Dark Star, dodging around the sparse crowds just starting to spread through the halls, and Kolyat has to work to catch up, startled by her speed. Is she using biotics?? What the hell??

She skids to a stop at the entrance to an alley, nearly running into the man standing just outside it - grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and yanking him close.

“Who was it, Mouse?” she demands, voice soft but commanding, “Where’d the gun come from? What happened?!”

“I don’t know where it came from, but it’s Taylor!” ‘Mouse’ is near shaking, but Kolyat can tell it’s not Willow he’s afraid of - the man grabs at her hand, pleading, “Please, Shepard, talk some sense into him! I think he’s been drugged!”

“I’ll handle it.” Willow promises, releasing him and stepping towards the alley, motioning, “Kolyat, stay behind me.”

“Yes, ma’am.” he slips, earning the barest hint of a grin before she’s pushing on through the path, leaving him to follow behind.

He can vaguely hear voices ahead of them, growing louder as they walk - what sounds like children, really, a chill creeping up his spine - and then there’s shouting as they near the end, and Willow stops right where the path opens.

“Taylor!” she calls, voice that authoritative tone from before, “Stand down!”

“Miss Willow! Thank God!”

“Please talk some sense into him!”

“Shepard, look!” a slightly older voice calls out, excited, and Kolyat realizes this must be Taylor, “I can protect everyone, now! I can protect you!”

“You injured a civilian, Taylor.” Willow calls back, taking slow steps out of the alley, “Who gave you the gun?”

“Some men in the market, wearing blue armor - it doesn’t matter!”

“It does matter, Taylor. You hurt someone - they gave you something else, didn’t they? A red substance in a little bag?”

“They said it would help-”

“They drugged you, Taylor. They drugged you and gave you a weapon - they wanted you to hurt people. Are you going to let yourself be used? Because that’s what's happening.”

“I - what? No, no, I just… just wanted to help.”

“I know, hun, it’s okay.” Willow’s moved fully out of the alley now, voice soothing, and Kolyat follows carefully behind her, trying not to make any sudden movements, “Put the gun down, Taylor, it’s okay-”

“Okay. Okay, I’ll-”

The kid looks up, gaze shifting from Willow to Kolyat - and then he’s angry, the gun lifting suddenly, shouting “NO! I’ll protect you!”

“Taylor no!”

“Taylor stand down-!”

“I won’t-!”

BANG.

The shot rings out at the same time as Kolyat is shoved sideways, sprawling on the ground with an ugh! as  screams echo from the children, leaving a sudden, deafening silence.

Then, “Miss Willow!”

“He shot Miss Willow!”

“Taylor! How could you?!”

Kolyat’s scrambling up immediately, heart pounding, “Shepard!”

Willow stands perfectly still, face a mask of neutral calm despite the slash of red across her cheek - a graze, streaks of blood making slow lines towards her chin.

“I’m alright.” she says quietly, and he’s awed by her calm.

He was aiming for me. Kolyat swallows roughly, fists clenched, If that shot had been a little more to the right, she’d be… Willow would be-!

A gun clattering to the ground draws his attention back to the kids - Taylor collapsing to his knees, abject horror written across his face.

“I shot Shepard.” he whispers, hands starting to shake, “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to, I just… oh my God… oh my God-”

“Kolyat.” Willow murmurs, already walking forwards, “Dispose of the gun. We don’t need any more accidents happening today.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Kolyat hurries to do as told, grabbing the gun and yanking out the clip, stuffing it in his vests pocket so he can get rid of it at the precinct.

Then he watches, still so startled and amazed by her reactions, knowing, now, why his father cares as he does.

Because Willow isn’t angry, or harsh, or resentful. She’s careful and calming, crouching down so she can hug the shaking teenager, letting him sob against her shoulder - head tilted back so the blood doesn’t touch him, making quiet shushing sounds as she rocks him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” Taylor is whispering over and over, clearly shocked by what he’d done, and Kolyat realizes that this is a better way to teach then being harsh ever could be.

Mouse comes running at the commotion, taking over once Taylor has calmed down and Willow is able to pry herself away, promising to look after things and keep her updated.

Willow grimaces and wipes away the blood once they’ve exited the path back into the main corridor of the Citadel, releasing a long breath. “Well. Not how I imagined starting my day.”

“Are you alright?” the similarities to his father in this moment are near overwhelming - she’s not showing emotion, but he can see the strain in her expressions, can tell she’s holding it back - “I’m sorry, it was my fault-”

“It was no one’s fault but the damned mercs that drugged Taylor and gave him a gun.” Willow snaps, wincing, “Shit, sorry, I’m just… I’m angry, Kolyat. And I’m going to find out who it was that did it, and I’m going to drag their asses into jail.”

“They’ll probably put up a fight.” he says.

“Fuck, I hope they put up a fight - then I can’t get in shit for going biotic on their ass.” Willow opens one of the medigel canisters she has on her belt as she speaks, slapping it on the wound with a hiss.

That settles it - I get it, now. And… maybe father can help.

“We’ll find out who it was, Shepard. But… maybe you should get that looked at?”

“Just a scratch.” she huffs, rolling her shoulders, “But you’re right, just in case the bullet was laced with something. I’m going to take the rest of the day after we check in with Bailey, kid - sorry for dragging you into danger like that.”

“Gotta learn sometime, right?” he quips, and Willow laughs, startled.

“That’s true. Anyways, let’s get this over with - I want to talk to Bailey, go to the hospital, then go home and sleep.”

 “Father.” Kolyat says the moment he walks through the door, spotting him at the table, “I need your help.”

“A moment, son; I believe some of my camera’s are malfunctioning.” Thane motions him over, typing away with a scowl, “I have not been able to pinpoint Officer Shepard since returning from my errands - did you see her at work? Speaking of, why are you home so early?”

“Shepard got shot.” Kolyat blurts, and his father’s gaze snaps to him, emerald suddenly vivid in the black.

“What?”

“Okay, first - you probably know, but Shepard’s my trainer. I didn’t try to get assigned to her, but it happened, and I get it, now, why you’re so attracted - but that’s not the point!” Kolyat slams a fist on the table, frustrated, “Bailey got a call today that one of her ‘kids’ had been in trouble - he’d gotten a gun, and had injured a store clerk down in the markets.”

Thane clasps his hands then, leaning forwards on his elbows - he’s slipped into assassin mode, now, voice deceptively calm “Go on.”

“We went to investigate, and it was the older boy - Taylor? - he’d been drugged, father, and given a gun by a merc, and Shepard was talking him down. She was managing, to, he was calming down - but then he spotted me and he went crazy and he… he fired.”

“He was aiming for me, but Shepard shoved me out of the way - he caught her on the cheek, just a graze, thank Kalahira, but it startled him out of the daze. And she wasn’t angry until after, she just calmed him down, comforted him - but after, father, she was ready to kill. She wants to find the merc that did it so she can bring him in.”

Kolyat stops, panting for breath for a moment, then leans closer, determined. “You can find the merc, father. I know you can. Will you help?”

“As though you need to ask.” Thane’s words are nearly a hiss, and Kolyat has to reign in a triumphant smirk as the elder drell starts typing, nearly radiating rage as he works. “I would take care of the man myself, would it not be more appropriate for Officer Shepard to take care of him herself. Discrete assistance is needed, then.”

“Thank you, father.” Kolyat relaxes into his seat, relieved, “I’m sorry. For not telling you who my trainer was.”

“You had your reasons.” Thane mutters, lost in focus, a near feral smirk pulling at his mouth when a near silent bing sounds from his terminal, “Your merc is a member of the Blue Suns, working closely under their current leader, Vito Santiago. It seems as though he spends most of his time in the markets, recruiting whoever he can, beating up people he deems weak. I’ll have more information shortly - you can bring it to Shepard tomorrow morning.”

“I bet she’ll be appreciative.” Kolyat says, trying not to grin at the way his father’s attention shifts.

“It is the least I can do.” Thane all but whispers.

 Kolyat jogs into C-Sec the next morning, datapad containing the mercs info clutched tightly under one arm, trying not to grin to widely - only to be stopped by Bailey not five steps in the door, the Captain waving him over from his terminal.

“Shoot, sorry, kid, I forgot to email you.” Bailey curses, scratching at the back of his head, “You get the rest of the week off - Willow’s not coming in.”

“Is she alright?” he asks, worried that the wound had been deeper then he’d thought.

“Well, as far as I know she is, yeah. Just know I got an email from her late last night that she wouldn’t be in for a few days because she had to go help her cousin with something out on Omega.” Bailey shrugs, “Thinking it’s some ‘Spectre Business’, since she didn’t say much else - didn’t want to ask. You’ll get a message from me once she’s back.”

Kolyat barely a manages an ‘okay’ before he’s all but sprinting back through the halls of the Citadel, cursing mentally.

He’s almost proud of himself when, throwing open the door, Thane seems slightly startled, “Kolyat? What’s happened?”

“We have a problem.” Kolyat pants, still clutching the datapad, “Commander Shepard took Willow to Omega.”

[autodiscothings]

This is Bateseda “Bats” T’Lori. He is very much a he/him asari:

He’s part of the main squad I write about, and Kolyat’s main friend.

He’s 5′4″/164cm (a short king!) and has freckled light blue skin. His eyes are a bright shade of aqua.

He’s fond of sticky dive bars and stickier women, and never keeps a girlfriend for long. He has a strong preference for his own kind, not aliens.

He collects Thessian anime statues, especially from his favourite “Battle Sisters” series.

He will forward you porn and think nothing of it.

He’s an absolute powerhouse of a vanguard, if he bothered to keep up the discipline. Instead he’s a detective in Investigations in C-Sec, but still no slouch when it comes to combative biotics.

He hides his PTSD and grieving under jokes. Bats lost his family on Thessia during the war.

He comes from a very traditional, old-school upbringing where Athame is still worshipped. His facial tattoos are in honour of his Mom.

He’s the one found at 3am drunk with a burrito and outside you apartment.

He’s the one who will roast you an inch of your life, and it’s funny

He’s also your ride and die friend, the one who will have your back- despite mocking your chin:

This about sums him up:

https://autodiscothings.tumblr.com/tagged/bats. This is not even all my art, TBH. I have art from other people there too.

 If you want to read about him, I write him as a supporting character in my fic: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soignee. The stories are from the POV of Kolyat Krios- one day I’ll write Bats as the lead in his own, I promise.  

(He’s a mess, but I love him.)

if you've got an asari oc who goes by he/him please drop him below/reblog with stuff about him!! i need to see more gnc asari

[hanar-tits]

ayyy bro, wanna cry about Legion and Mordin and Thane?

oh geez anon.. oh g e e. i woke up emotional and your ask is the timeliest thing ever because yes i will go into an incoherent babble right now

i swear on me mum i cried, no, i bawled, at each character’s death, okay, i’m talking stuffy nosed for the rest of the day bawled. and then at the very end i bawled some more for about 5 hours, cause there’s never been a game i was more excited for than mass effect 3, so back to the characters.

the save i was playing wasn’t actually my first save where i romanced liara with femshep, it was a femshep/thane save so as you can imagine everything was pain from the few first minutes that you even see thane :’) i think thane and jacob’s romances in 3 were so lacking so i felt the game never gave the handsome space lizard the time he deserved given how depressing everything ended. oh yeah and i cried at the prayer scene, of course. while we’re on the subject, kolyat’s character progression was really sweet ):

ok let’s see what hurt next. ah yes tuchanka. i’ve always been on the side of the krogan and the ending was beautiful. my femshep was paragon so she let mordin sacrifice himself, no sabotage involved at all so i didn’t have to shoot him but...man. i mean his sacrifice is probably the death that stayed with me the most just cause of the theme behind it and how even if you see it through a ‘renegage’ pov it’s a fantastic redemption.

legion’s death was completely unnecessary, i didn’t really understand the need for him to disintegrate entirely. the very first time around of course like many other i imagine, for those several seconds i thought that the red geth juggernaut was an upgraded version of legion and now he’s a big strong beefy boy, and yet :’))) legion was hands down my favorite character in me2 (next to garrus and grunt, they’re the top 3 in no particular order) and you don’t get that much scene time with him which, alongside thane, shows i’m always more emotional about characters that don’t get as much screentime...

sorry if i went on for too long but tl;dr i cried and that’s the best i can put it

[zet-sway]

Great question, actually. I'll do my best to answer lol

I imagine Thane is a very disciplined man with a firm grip on his own actions, but his thoughts are a mess. He has as many doubts and insecurities as the rest of us, he's just very measured in what he "lets out." He speaks as though he's spent a long time thinking of what to say. His mind works so differently than a human's, his vocabulary is more educated and his statements are short and to the point.

How I manage to pull dialogue out of him is anyone's guess. I spend a lot of time second-guessing his lines. But I like to write from his POV because his thoughts are wild.

He's surprisingly expressive, I just think he spends a lot of time considering how to express himself. And I think he's got a dry wit, as well. I like to think his humor sneaks up on people. He's probably extremely funny around people he's comfortable with.

I also feel like he loves touch, and he's very measured about it. He wants to touch and be touched, but he's very aware of what's appropriate, and communicating with whoever he's touching. I'm not just talking about intimate touching - I mean anything, really. The way he puts his hand on Mouse's shoulder, the way he holds Shepard's hands, the way he leans in like he's going to hug Kolyat, but stops. Even the way he runs his hand along the console in Nassana's penthouse.

This of course is all just my own headcanon and the approach I take to writing him. Thane's character really resonates with me because I spend a lot of time in my own head, I guess. Sometimes I re-watch his cutscenes or conversations to remind myself what he's like. His first conversation with Shepard is so striking.

I'm not sure if I would call it funny, but as much selfless as Thane is, he won't exactly share a current lover of his with someone else. That is, if you flirted with Garrus, for example, he will say something in the lines that he doesn't think you have him prioritized or something like it. Well, so let's prioritize the Lizard Husband 💕😂😭💕

[autodiscothings]

Writing asks meme: 2 and 13

UNIQUE WRITING ASKS🖋️

2. What are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? What would you avoid writing about?

I’ve read an awful lot of fantasy to realise I don’t like the main fantasy tropes much, and can only handle it done by writers who either invert them (Joe Abercrombie) or take the piss, like Terry Pratchett does.

I am fed up of chosen one stories. I dislike reading about nobility and kings and throne shifting and saving the world, and actually would rather read about an uprising from the POV of a mill worker for example, a war from the POV of a common soldier, a seamstress, an average joe.

It’s also what I like to write, both in my OC stuff and fanfic. I don’t mind nobility and posh characters- I wouldn't write Ori if I did, even is she’s slinking around pretending to fit in. Rather what I like is people, a broad mix of them, in one story. 

13. What traits do you share with your original characters or what traits do you wish you shared with them?

Kolyat has my homebody lifestyle. I’m not quite as misanthropic, though. 

Oriana is my fashion knowledge, mainly as it’s fun to write about. I am as nowhere near as neat and obsessive; I’m sitting here in Animal Crossing pyjamas with coffee stains on them, and stopped wearing heavy make up a few years ago.

Fish is everything i love about cats, even is she’s a bitey one. I will steal your cat stories and use them if you hang around me, since I don’t have one of my own

Bats is... I have no idea. Found in a dumpster behind a bus station, tbh.

Patel is my laziness and food obsession. I too would watch cooking shows on my visor if i could, and I do have a pile of snacks...

TY for your ask! Taken from: [unique writing asks🖋️] Ask me more: [ask box]

[autodiscothings]

WIP Whenever

Tagged by @wafflesrock16​, @shretl​, and @alyssalenko​! Thanks pals.

Have an Ori POV snippet:

The dream hurt me more than I thought. What was the point of even sleeping? The alarm would go in four hours, but I was too wired to focus on anything but my breathing.

I couldn’t even run the sink thanks to the shortage. Instead, I played the sound of a faucet from my omni-tool, waiting for the tightness of chest to go as I stared at myself in the mirror, a rumpled mess in lilac short pajamas.

My name is Oriana Lee. I have dark hair. I have blue eyes.

There was no water rationing back on Illium when I was I growing up, not even in the immigrant quarter. Papa would tell me stories while I slipped around in the bath, my favourite play space. Sometimes I was a mermaid in the murky waters, a space explorer charting the unknown. I played Spectres in the tub with toys, making sure the dolls had the best outfits- upholding justice in style was important, obviously.

I remember hiding from the vodyanoy the most, protecting my toes from monsters- or my parent’s grabbing hands. Like a husk reaching, sharp metal claws as- no.

My name is Oriana Lee. I have dark hair. I have blue eyes.

There was water at Sanctuary, plenty of it, the sound dripping in my room. A luxury compared to the families stuck in processing. I was-

No. I am in my bathroom, it’s a Tuesday. I am on the Citadel. It’s- dammit, it’s 3:15 am.

So! This was meant to be a smut oneshot. It still kind of is, but i thought I would be clever and combine all my Ori POV wips into one story, and edit them into cohesion. It’s actually working, and it’s a pleasure to hang out in Ori’s head for a change, even if it’s louder and sharper than Kolyat’s. 

(I am struggling to continue my current crime/procedural WIPs at the moment, I’m sorry! Will get back to them when I feel more comfortable with it.)

[autodiscothings]

3 and 21 for the 30 Questions for Authors?

3. Do you write fics from start or finish, or jump around?

Jump around, and I hate myself for it.

21. What is the one fic that got away? 

An interspecies (half-orc, human) LOTR story set postwar (I have my themes I like.) I wrote around 2016, managed to pour about 30k words into it when I realised I needed to read the books again and know more about the lore.

@squigglysquidd also asks:

30.  Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

Post Disconnect! Kol and Ori have kids, and the political/personal implications of it, and Kolyat being a good dad.

An Ori POV longfic, of which I’m 30k words into- don’t know if I should publish the first few chapters (see: question 3!)

Thank you for your asks! Taken from [ Behind the Scenes of Fic Writing: 30 Questions for Authors.]

[mrs-pissoff]

Your eyes (Reader x Thane)

(the title is pretty much a placeholder because I have no idea what else to call this lmao) 3rd person POV, Reader is referred to as she/her

A/N: So first of all, I usually don't know what the unholy crap I'm doing when it comes to writing. I'm also not a native English speaker. There may be a part 2 coming but I can't promise cuz once I do promise something it's surely not going to happen, ever. Nonetheless, please enjoy.

Introduction: You're whoever you are, and you've joined Shepard's crew aboard the SR-2 to stop the Collectors. You've become something of a close friend to Commander Shepard and may have caught spicy spicy feelings for them. Unfortunately for you, Shepard has eyes for a certain turian vigilante, but hey, this story isn't about them. It's about you and our favorite assassin.

Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters belong to Bioware.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An unusual stillness fell over the empty kitchen of the SR-2. The crew were all tucked away in their chambers, resting or talking about the day’s events. Even the lights of the Med Bay were dimmed, indicating that not even Dr. Chakwas was at her station.

She was glad no one could see her in such a state. Puffy eyes, hair and clothes in complete disarray. A mess, really. She didn’t need the looks of pity or the unnecessary and painful question ‘What’s wrong?’. No. She only needed a glass of cold water and some time. Some time to sort things out. Alone. That part was easy at least, since she thought no one knew how she felt. She kept it hidden, locked away. Out of sight, out of mind. Except when the feelings would resurface violently and erupt like a volcano. Like right now.

Head bowed and quietly sobbing into the sink, both hands resting beside the edges of it, she doesn't hear the silent footsteps approaching her. Too preoccupied with her spiraling thoughts of Shepard and her own confusing feelings. The footsteps of the cautiously approaching Thane Krios cease, as he stands frozen in place. The woman before him is the one that judged him for all his wrongdoings the day he stopped his son from stepping on the path of sin. Her once fiery gaze was now drowned in tears, head hung low and heavy with sorrow.

She's been feeling on edge lately, making careful but not very covert snide remarks to Garrus Vakarian and politely pushing away everyone who questioned her sour mood. She only smiled when Shepard asked, the storm clouds hanging over her head evaporating at the sight of the Commander as her face relaxed. And with a beaming gaze and the hint of a smile, she'd tell Shepard how everything was fine and she just needed some rest. That a nap would fix her up. A white lie to avoid worrying the Commander. He saw how her eyes lost their spark and how her legs would carry her around the ship without purpose. Only in battle she seemed alive. A raging whirlwind sweeping through enemies. A most unsettling change in behavior. He knew the reason behind it all.

Suddenly becoming painfully aware of his presence, her head shot up and a startled gasp left her lips. She pushed herself away from the sink in a swift motion and turned her gaze away from him, wiping the tears from her face. Desperately trying to make it seem like they weren't there to begin with.

"Damn, you're quiet. You should make more noise or you’ll give someone a heart attack."

Her tone had a slight bite to it and an uncertain shake she tried to mask. He could still hear it though. This was a moment of weakness she wished no one would witness. Much less him. He knew what she thought about him. She called him a gutless coward and a poor excuse of a father while still wishing him success to save his son, though not for his own sake, but simply because Kolyat deserved better. He had to agree with her, he told himself all of these things and more. It was nothing new. And yet, hearing someone else utter those words aloud cut even deeper. The look she gave him that day sent a jolt of shock down his spine. Her eyes filled with scorching ire, blame and so, so many questions. He felt small even if he was standing taller than her. Even though her mind seemed occupied and uncertain at the moment, he could still sense that she'd have preferred anyone but him finding her like this.

"Are you feeling unwell?"

Of course she did, he thought, but the words left his mouth before he could rephrase the question.

"No."

Her reply came almost too quickly as she washed her tear-stained hands and turned around, ready to leave without drying them. He knew she carried a great many burdens, and not all of them her own. She was much like him, and didn't leave her room frequently to socialize with others, but he knew that Shepard visited her just like the rest of them. Shepard always made sure to check on everyone, to talk to them and ease their solitude, but sometimes people forgot to do the same for the Commander. She didn't. She told him and Vakarian that Shepard had a tendency to hold onto everything, and rather than adding to Shepard's emotional cargo further, she preferred to ask and listen to everything the Commander had to say. No doubt a roundabout way of telling the two to do the same every once in a while. He wondered whether she herself shared her thoughts with anyone.

"If you need someone to talk to-" but he couldn't finish. She looked back at him and began speaking quietly, her tone now withdrawn and empty. 

"Perhaps you should focus your energy on your son to make things right, and mind your own business. I'll do the same as well." Ah, he knew she'd push away, but he still had to ask. He wished she'd at least talk to Shepard, but knew that she won't.

"Sometimes strength isn't about holding our emotions at bay, but sharing our weakness with others, however difficult it may be." His words seemed to catch her attention as she raised one eyebrow at him questioningly.

"True, but I don't see why you would bother."

Her statement was expected. They weren't on the friendliest terms after all. Of course there was no ongoing animosity between them, she simply voiced her opinion of him and they never talked about it anymore. Few words were exchanged between them even before Kolyat's attempt at assassination - aside from the usual pleasantries that is - , even less afterwards. He was aware of her presence and they passed each other aboard the Normandy more than once, but neither spared as much as a second glance. Both too lost in their own thoughts to notice the other. That was until he was caught in her eyes like a trapped varren, desperate to escape. He felt as if he was standing underneath a spotlight, all of his shame on display for everyone to see. It was then and there, where he truly saw her for the first time and began paying more attention to her unconsciously.

On rare occasions when she was having her meals at the same time he was, he'd find himself observing her closely, listening to her talking with others. He'd seen the pang of jealousy in her eyes as Garrus recalled all the time he spent with Shepard years ago and when he would ask specific things about human relationships once he and the Commander became closer. She would deflect his clumsy questions half-heartedly and leave shortly after, her initial friendly disposition towards the turian dissipated and a polite tolerance took its place. Garrus was none the wiser to see this change, such nuance seemed to be lost on him. Perhaps that was for the better. She couldn't blame either of them for falling for each other. Garrus has been there for Shepard for far longer than her.

During shuttle rides Thane could see how she tried to be casual and disciplined while Shepard spoke, careful to contain herself and not let anything slip even if her eyes had a playful and longing glint to them.

He came to adore those eyes. They told him everything she was hiding so carefully. The eyes truly were a window to the soul.

Sometimes he was also lucky enough to catch her in a conversation where she voiced her point of view on certain things, mostly concerning Cerberus whom she did not trust in the slightest. A sentiment many other squadmates shared. Surprisingly, she didn't let her negative opinion extend to Miranda and Jacob, or the rest of the crew wearing Cerberus colors. Short and reserved debates between them were apparently not uncommon. On her better days he could even hear her joking about with Zaeed and Jack. A wide and playful smile spreading on her face with every witty little comment she shared with them.

He's never realized just how aware of her he was until now. He wanted to let her know, but-

"You intrigue me."

The words escaped him once more.

His body tensed as he watched her carefully. Her eyes found the floor as a thoughtful expression crossed her face. She seemed unsure and deep in thought, and he began to wonder whether it was a mistake to speak his mind. A few agonizing seconds later she met his eyes again seemingly ready to respond, but deciding against it in the end. She gave him one last incredulous look before turning around and heading for the elevator without a word, leaving him in the dimly lit kitchen.

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So, here. I hope it was enjoyable? I honestly don’t know how to write Thane so he may be severly OOC. Hopefully not.

It’s just that I’ve been adding more dialogues to the custom Thane follower I have in Skyrim and I got inspired so I was like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever, I’ll post it.

And I already have another scenario running in my head. A possible continuation to this, but this thing took me the better half of today to write. We’ll see. Feel free to let me know what you think.

[autodiscothings]

what's something you've always wanted to do with kol/ori/fish but haven't figured out HOW to do it yet

Saucy NSFW art. Haven’t quite figured how far to take it or where to even put it.

My own highly niche artbook, I’ve drawn enough to make one now.

Comics! Fish escapes the apartment and has a Grand Adventure on the Citadel- shenanigans ensue. All from her POV. (She ends up on the couch with Aria.)

Anything animated– please give me animation juice. I have an entire silent story (no dialogue) of how Kolyat found Fish planned, but I need to actually… draw it. It will take me days.

Fic: Ori’s time during/after Sanctuary, and how she shaped herself to be the charming, charismatic Ori as I write her.

Fic/art: tired 30something Kolyat and Ori with Kids: I get little scenes of salty Dadyat especially, just little snippets of him and his girls. I don’t let myself think about it too hard, as I have to finish something. I also have to let where I want to take drell politics/Kahje/Kepral’s advocacy unfold in the current stories too, as it’s all tied up together with their children for me.

And finally:

How to port them out of Mass Effect universe and reshape them in to OCs :|

Taken from: Ask A Drunk Auto Anything