#from flirting with girls to trying his best to get the attention of one lan wangji

[hualianschild]

[fannish-karmiya]

Hi,

I'm really interested in hearing your opinion on if you think WWX was attracted to LWJ in his first life? I think LWJ was the only person he showed such feelings for - even if he didn't fully realise it himself at the time.

As for him flirting with girls in his first life, I feel like this was just him being charming and it was always to gain something like an item or information, or at times possibly LWJs attention. It was never heartfelt, he never said anything about how much he was attracted to them in his thoughts. He's only ever described LWJ with such details (in his first life, and second)

I also think growing up with at least one possible homophobe (JC?) he might have unconsciously suppressed his feelings for LWJ as best he could and at the same time consciously flirted with girls because it was expected of him. Let's be honest, he was really good looking, charming and outgoing - he could have had a girlfriend if he wanted to.

Finally, in his first life there are a number of occasions where he gets a little close to LWJ and is rebuffed (out of LWJs shyness perhaps) - the cold spring, when trapped in the cave together - immediately after he is, in a sense, rejected by LWJ he has to reinforce his intentions were nothing but platonic "don't worry I'm not into men". He only ever says this to LWJ as if covering his actions, even possibly trying to convince himself as well.

I'd love to hear your opinion on this 😊

Oh, absolutely I agree, 100%! Thank you so much for this ask!

I think the fact that fandom has such a weird view of WWX's feelings in his first life is largely down to people not being very good at picking up on gay subtext.

As you say, WWX's flirtations with girls are shown to really be a matter of getting free stuff or just being friendly. In fact, in two instances he does so for LWJ: in order to get the pouch containing medicinal herbs from Mianmian, and back during the lectures in Caiyi Town he flirts with the girl who tosses him a loquat and encourages her to give one to LWJ, too (he even asks the girls if LWJ is more handsome than him!).

Meanwhile, WWX flirts with LWJ constantly, but it's all stuff which can be hidden behind a veneer of just being friendly teasing. Heteronormativity plays a huge role, here; if WWX gave half of the attention he gives to LWJ to a girl, everyone would see it as flirting. He tosses flowers at him on two separate occasions, calls him nicknames like 'Lan-er-gege' (I get the vibe that a term like 'da-ge' is more...guyish? WWX calling him that feels quite flirtatious), feels the need to cozy up to him when they're in the cold spring and both naked, teases him about stealing his clothes, constantly comments on how beautiful LWJ is...

WWX also has a habit of trying to backtrack and reframe his thoughts on LWJ through a heteronormative lens. He'll think things to himself about how beautiful LWJ is, then try to backtrack and convince himself that he's only considering what a girl would think. Even without the direct homophobia he likely has witnessed, simply growing up with only heterosexuality being presented as an option has a huge impact on a young person and makes it very hard to acknowledge that your own feelings are homoerotic in nature.

And WWX definitely comes across as trying to convince himself as much as LWJ that he's not interested in men....and only after it seems to him that LWJ would find it off-putting if WWX were interested in him.

I'm honestly amazed that anyone can read the past storyline and conclude that WWX wasn't head over heels for LWJ back then!

[markantonys]

WOT sims shenanigans part 2!

remember how mat and elayne kept interrupting their initial getting together flirting to throw water balloons at each other? well, IMMEDIATELY after rand and aviendha had their first kiss, they ended the conversation so aviendha could do pushups and rand could build a sandcastle. we stan 4 useless bisexuals.

then they went home and fucked woohooed in elayne’s bed because neither of them had a double bed. i’m sure elayne didn’t mind!

elayne and avi got together as well, so the rand/mat/elayne/avi polycule is complete! i moved them all into a new apartment together (now they all have double beds! rip to rand and mat’s bunkbeds in the old household) and rand immediately wished to have a child. if coming down with baby fever one (1) hour after moving in with his partners isn’t a rand move, i don’t know what is.

look how soft 🥺

if one person walks in on 2 of their partners woohooing, or is walked in on by their partner, they don’t care at all. but since mat and avi are the only ones without a romantic relationship, they both get embarrassed if one walks in on the other with rand or elayne (tho rand and elayne do not get embarrassed). there are boundaries in this house that need to be respected, thank you!

i did not realize until looking at them from this angle and in these outfits what Fantastic asses sim rand and elayne have 😳 yes i’m the one who created the sims, but i didn’t pay attention to ass size while i was doing it jkfjg i just picked default body types and did some minor tweaks. i’ve now gone to inspect mat’s and avi’s asses and they’re both flat as pancakes rip

i gave mat the goofball trait which means that he WILL NOT STOP pranking toilets (unless i catch him in time to stop him). half the time he’s the first one to use a toilet he pranked and then gets mad when the toilet breaks. karma.

the Lan Thirdwheeling On Randlayne saga continues:

perrin and faile’s wedding was a hot mess. it started like 4 hours late because i was waiting for rand, mat, and elayne, who never showed up. (at this time i was controlling the other WOT household rather than the polycule household, so i couldn’t make those 3 come to the wedding.) and mat was the best man and elayne the maid of honor 💀 elayne is barely over the line between friends and acquaintances with faile but is still faile’s highest relationship after perrin, which is tragically canon lmao. and rand was supposed to be the flower girl again! how could he dip on his flower girl duties!

during this waiting time, gawyn went to cry under the bedcovers because he was depressed from Fear Of Unfulfilled Dreams and aviendha took a mudbath, facemask and all. clearly she’s been spending too much time with elayne. but what else are you supposed to do to destress from showing up at the wedding of your partners’ friends whom you barely know and then being abandoned there because your partners ditched?

half the guests didn’t watch the ceremony but came running to get cake afterwards. then nynaeve just threw out the whole cake after only a few people had taken slices.

finally, here’s egwene deciding to boogey down right in the middle of perrin and faile’s first dance. (not pictured: perrin dropping faile mid-dip, which gave her an angry moodlet jkfgjh)

date night!

breaking news: mat and aviendha have developed a small romance bar! fascinating. i was playing this household the whole time and controlling their every move yet have no idea when or how that happened. maybe they were in flirty group conversations with rand and/or elayne often enough that it ended up giving them romance points with each other as well. for now i’m thinking i won’t encourage it but i won’t make them friendzone each other either, and instead i’ll just see if anything happens. in the last post i was saying how sim mat keeps trying to seduce people without me telling him to or catching him in time to stop him and he’s gone and done it again! lucille bluth shouting whore out the car window.gif

lan called elayne to say that he was feeling down in the dumps and i picked the “try to cheer him up” option and got this dialogue 🥺 the friendship we didn’t know we needed!

i have a glitch lately where sometimes it doesn’t notify you when a sim’s needs get too low, so rand died of starvation because i didn’t even know he was hungry at all 😭 thankfully, i quit without saving and then immediately fed him when i restarted the game, so he is okay now! can’t believe rand was suffering in silence to such an extreme that he literally died before i noticed anything was wrong. painfully canon!

a few sim days later, the same thing happened to mat! on christmas! while he was holding a plate of food and about to start eating it! gawyn sobbed his eyes out over mat’s dead body while everyone else, including mat’s partners, gathered around to look at the corpse but just kept calmly eating christmas dinner and didn’t care at all. i quit without saving again so mat is alive again, but i’ll never forget that gawyn was the only one who cried over his death djfgj gold star for gawyn

the polycule is engaged!!! i love Love!!! so many proposals! you can see the sun progressively setting because it took so long to do all the proposals lmao. my favorite is elayne proposing to rand while mat dicks around on his phone and avi does situps. tune in in a couple weeks for the polycule wedding! and let’s have a prayer circle for it to run more smoothly than perrin and faile’s, but given the number of ceremonies i’m going to try to cram into one wedding event, i’m foreseeing an even bigger hot mess!

[robininthelabyrinth]

genderbent wens, like the siblings and the head family?

ao3

“- and in one generation, they were all women, every single one of them!” Lao Nie laughed so hard he was very nearly hiccupping, but Lan Qiren supposed that was understandable on account of the other sect leader having consumed a truly unbearable amount of wine. Some of which was on his behalf – Lao Nie had been in a strange mood during the conference, especially excited, and had boisterously interjected himself into Jin Guangshan’s regular attempts to get Lan Qiren drunk by volunteering to take all his toasts for him – so Lan Qiren felt obligated to stay and keep him from making a nuisance of himself. “So be careful what you wish for, Jin-xiong!”

“Let go of me!” Jin Guangshan yelped, and really, getting squashed like that by Lao Nie tipping over onto him was exactly what he deserved. Only Jiang Fengmian was nice enough to try to help him, and all that accomplished was to get him pulled, laughing, into the drinking as well.

Possibly that had been his goal.

“That seems remarkably unlikely,” Wen Ruohan remarked. He, at least, was sitting properly, and had for once restrained himself during the festivities – he was friends of a sort with Jin Guangshan, which never seemed to go well for anyone else, but Lao Nie’s rowdiness had apparently severed that for the night. He looked sidelong at Lan Qiren. “Don’t you think, Sect Leader Lan?”

Lan Qiren could never figure out if Wen Ruohan meant for that term of address to be an insult or a compliment, and he was tired of trying.

“What is so unlikely?” he asked, having been paying more attention to Lao Nie’s stability than his words.

“An entire generation born as women,” Wen Ruohan said. He was playing with the cup of wine in his hands rather than drinking it. “Statistically possible, but highly improbable, given the size of the Nie sect.”

“Well, I assume he’s accounting for the misaligned,” Lan Qiren said, because Wen Ruohan wasn’t wrong – the Nie sect might be smaller than others, but it was still a Great Sect; it was very far from being small. “That would affect the numbers.”

“Misaligned?” Wen Ruohan echoed.

“A tradition among the Nie,” Lan Qiren explained, because it wasrather unusual. “They believe that the reincarnation cycle occasionally errs, with the soul of a woman ending up in a male body or a man in a woman – or I suppose neither and both, I’m not entirely certain about that one. At any rate, it’s not terribly common, but neither is it especially uncommon, so I suppose it’s possible –”

“Isn’t it a punishment?” Wen Ruohan interrupted.

Lan Qiren blinked at him, not understanding.

Wen Ruohan was looking down at his cup, which he had started to hold rather tightly – his knuckles were white, and it was only his especially good control over his cultivation that was keeping the cup from shattering. “The misalignment,” he clarified. “It’s said that those who commit sins in one life will be condemned in their next: reborn as an ant, or a chicken raised for slaughter. To be reborn into a body that does not fit you would surely seem to be along the same lines.”

“I suppose I see the argument,” Lan Qiren said, relieved that for once Wen Ruohan was in the mood for a theoretical discussion rather than causing trouble just to show that he had the power to do so without consequence. “I believe the Nie would argue in turn that being born as a thinking being capable of expressing oneself is sufficient basis to assume error rather than retribution – we’re all cultivators fighting the dictates of fate, after all. If one can seek immortality against all heavenly restrictions, then seeking to be recognized in the manner of your soul rather than your body would appear to be a much smaller issue.”

He shrugged and took a sip of his tea, rolling it in his mouth first to confirm it hadn’t been spiked with anything alcoholic.

“My assumption entirely,” he added. “I’m not actually that familiar with the Nie sect doctrine on this matter. Lao Nie is not the most academic, and if anything seems more bemused by our lack of understanding on the matter.”

Wen Ruohan was frowning into his cup, but at least he wasn’t gripping it so tightly.

“Fighting the dictates of fate,” he murmured. “Yes, I can see that. If you decide you are something, who dares say that you cannot be that, even the Heavens themselves?”

Such a Wen sect way of thinking, Lan Qiren thought to himself, shaking his head. Arrogant, defiant and proud – always raising their heads up high. Admirable in small doses, irritating in large!

“What would you do?” Wen Ruohan asked him, and Lan Qiren looked at him, surprised. “If there was – something like that, but in your sect? The Lan is the most orthodox of the sects; you do not even permit intermingling between men and women.”

“We don’t – men and women live separately; it’s not the same thing as not permitting intermingling,” Lan Qiren protested, but he supposed he could see the value in the question. “If one of my sect disciples informed me that they believed themselves to be a misalignment, I would – accept it, I suppose. Perhaps after a period of supervision, to ensure that they were serious and understood the consequences of their actions, that they would live and be perceived socially in the manner their soul for the rest of their lives; that would help ensure no one would engage in such a thing lightly or as a prank.”

He thought about it a little more.

“Yes, I think that’s right,” he concluded. “There are many rules that touch on the subject of being true to oneself, and none requiring adherence to the gender of one’s body; therefore, it is more in accordance to the rules to permit it. In such an event, I might also send them to the Unclean Realm for a time to further their understanding of the concept, to allow them time to reflect on the proposed change and to ensure they have access to a place where they can feel safe in exploring –”

“What if it were you yourself? Given your position?”

“Me?” Lan Qiren blinked. “I’ve always been comfortable being a man, so it isn’t an issue. But if it was, I would imagine that the same would apply to me as to anyone else in my sect. After all, we have precedent of a woman taking the role of Sect Leader, so that isn’t a consideration.”

“I suppose you do,” Wen Ruohan said. He seemed thoughtful. “What do you think the other sects would think of it?”

“Well, I can hardly say. Of the Great Sects? The Jiang sect would probably approve of it; their sect motto is ‘attempt the impossible’, and their emphasis has always been on freedom and finding your own way – I can’t imagine them objecting in a way that wouldn’t make them come across as complete hypocrites. The Nie would of course accept it. The Jin…”

The Jin sect, under Jin Guangshan, would reject it utterly. Perhaps it might be different under a different sect leader, but Jin Guangshan was even more wedded to the idea of people being in what he considered their ‘proper’ place than most. He hated the newly rich, the self-made upstart, even the poor young men who fought their way up from nothing – in his view, immortality was best reached by nothing ever changing. It was, perhaps, an understandable viewpoint from a man who felt as though he already had everything, but still rather disgusting given how despite all of that Jin Guangshan still grappled and sought after even more power and wealth than he already had – as if he were the only one allowed to rise, and everyone else had to stay where they were so he could more easily step on them on his way up.

“Oh, the Jin. Leave Jin Guangshan to me,” Wen Ruohan said with that dangerous smile of his, the one that promised blood on the ground.

Lan Qiren nodded agreeably, then frowned. Since when had they been discussing how to convince Jin Guangshan to be more open to an admittedly idiosyncratic Nie sect custom?

He was about to ask, but then Lao Nie started singing – with Jiang Fengmian providing the harmony, insofar as ‘harmony’ could be used to describe something that sounded not unlike a duet for elephants in heat or possibly someone using a brick to bludgeon people mid-opera – and they all got distracted in the unified effort of trying to get them to stop.

Lan Qiren then forgot about the entire conversation for approximately two months, and abruptly recalled it when Wen Ruohan issued an announcement that the Wen sect now permitted female sect leaders, that, furthermore, shewas the first one, and, finally, that if anyone objected on any basis whatsoever they were welcome to fight her personally.

Which –

Well, in all, Lan Qiren wished his fellow sect leader the best and started resigning himself to having to suffer from even more of Lao Nie’s flirting at the next discussion conference. That man had never yet met a man or woman who could kill him that he wouldn’t try to sleep with, and he generally preferred women…

-

“It’s nice to have the company of another girl,” Jiang Yanli said with a smile.

Wen Xu snorted. “I agree, even if I wish it were under different circumstances.”

Jiang Yanli managed to maintain her expression of peace and tranquility for exactly four breaths before she burst out into giggles, an incredibly infectious sound that finally made Wen Xu start laughing as well.

“It’s mean,” Jiang Yanli said, only laughing harder. “I should – I’m glad they’re happy! Really!”

“We can be glad that they’re happy and also think that our parents are insane,” Wen Xu said. “I can’t believe – your parents are already married! To each other!”

“They weren’t very happy, though,” Jiang Yanli said. “I honestly think Sect Leader Wen has been very good for them. Even if I don’t want to think too hard about it.”

Wen Xu nodded. They were both twelve, which was exactly the age at which you tried very hard not to think things like I’m pretty sure my mom’s railing your dad while your mom provides commentary with his face in her lap right this very instant and yet you did think it because the adults were very not subtle sometimes and then at that point there was nothing to do but laugh.

“I heard that lots of people thought she was going to get together with Sect Leader Nie at first,” Jiang Yanli said. “You know, because they flirt so much?”

“My mom says that Sect Leader Nie flirts with anyone who can kill him,” Wen Xu said, and still marveled a little at being able to say things or think things like mom. Before, she’d only ever been allowed to refer to his father through the most formal terms, with any attempt to use a more intimate sobriquet being viciously punished – she’d often thought that her father would rather she called him Sect Leader Wen instead, and maybe she’d been right.

Her mother was a lot more easy-going about that sort of thing now, though. Wen Xu still wasn’t sure whether it was because she preferred ‘a-niang’ over ‘a-die’ or if it was just that, having blown up the entire cultivation world through her gender choices, her mother felt a lot freer in ignoring the rest of the expectations that had burdened her, too.

“So he’s not serious about her?”

“I mean, maybe he is, I don’t know,” Wen Xu said. “But apparently the whole thing with my mom deciding to announce that she was a woman happened right around the time he was getting back together with his second wife so I guess he was taken?”

“Wait, he got back together with – wasn’t she dead?”

“Apparently not? I really don’t know what happens in the Unclean Realm.”

“Probably for the best,” Jiang Yanli said. “I mean – I don’t – uh, that is –”

“If you’re talking about the fact that my mom still wants to take over the entire cultivation world and declare herself an immortal Empress, trust me, I know.”

“Oh, good,” Jiang Yanli said. “I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”

Wen Xu shrugged. She mostly just hoped that her mom’s current relationship with the other sect leaders was such that she didn’t actually murder them all in her inevitable effort to take over – it had always been something of a concern, and greater now that she actually knew Jiang Yanli was pretty cool.

“I also thought…” Jiang Yanli hesitated. “You yourself…?”

“Oh, no, I’m different. My birth mother made me pretend to be a boy,” Wen Xu said. “So that I could be the heir and she could keep her place as my father’s main wife, though of course in the end it didn’t really work out that well for her…I think A-Chao’s like mom, though. She wants to be a princess.”

“So she’s like your mom in the – ambitious sense?”

Wen Xu snickered. “Yes, that too. Actually, it’s a little funny. The whole thing started because my mom overheard Lao Nie talking about how a whole generation of Nie sect got cursed to be girls one time, and now I think mysect’s current generation is all girls.”

“Oh! Are they really?”

“Well, not really, but almost?” Wen Xu said. “There’s really just my mom, A-Chao, and me in the main branch, though we have some cousins that got sort of pulled into the main branch after their parents died – A-Qing and A-Ning. They were both born as girls, but recently A-Qing’s been saying that he thinks he might be happier as a man…it’s interesting. He’s not unhappybeing a woman the way I’m pretty sure my mom hated being a man, but he really likesbeing a man, and according to the Nie sect that’s the same thing, just a different expression of it? I don’t know.”

“How old are they?” Jiang Yanli asked.

“A-Qing’s about our age, and A-Ning is your brothers’ ages. You can meet them the next time there’s a conference in Qishan…”

-

“Can I bring Jiaojiao?” Wen Chao asked, and quailed under Wen Qing’s glare.

Wen Ning was just happy to remain underfoot and out of attention range. Her brother had a wicked way with needles when he wanted, and she wanted no part in any of that.

“Are you serious right now?” Wen Qing demanded. “You want to take your whore with you when we run away from home?”

“I’m not leaving Jiaojiao behind!” Wen Chao insisted. “And she’s not a whore! She doesn’t sleep with anyone but me.”

Hasn’t doesn’t mean wouldn’t, Wen Ning thought, then promptly felt bad for thinking it. It was a very catty thought and she was ashamed of it, even if Wang Lingjiao did strike her as rather…mercenary.

“Also I don’t understand why we have to run away anyway,” Wen Chao said, pouting. “So what if Mom started a war? We’re going to win, and then I’ll be a princess.”

“You’re an idiot,” Wen Qing said. “We’re not going to win.”

“But we control half the cultivation world!”

“Yes, and maybe if your mom was as ruthless as she used to be, she would’ve done the things necessary to win the war,” Wen Qing said. “Like take out Lao Nie early on, maybe. Now that the Nie sect’s got both him andNie Mingjue, any of our cultivators that go to the Unclean Realm are going to be slaughtered.”

Wen Chao winced, acknowledging the point.

“And ever since Lao Nie and Lan Qiren started their thing, it’s not like the Nie sect won’t also go defend the Lan sect, right?”

“…right.”

“And of course there’s the Jiang sect, which we probably couldraze to the ground if we really wanted to. But we’re not going to, and you know why?”

“Because Mom is fucking their sect leaders.”

“Because your mom is fucking their sect leaders,” Wen Qing agreed. “And that is why we declared war first on the Jin sect, because no one likes them.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is that the Jin sect makes no sense at all as a target! If we take over the entire stretch of territory between Lanling and Qishan, Qinghe gets completely cut off from Gusu and Yunmeng and there’s no way they’re going to let that happen, which means that they’re going to declare war on us. And that is why we are running away from home, because we do not want to be here when the Nie sect shows up.”

Wen Ning’s brother was awesome and everyone should listen to him.

“Maybe your mom will rethink her actions once she’s seen that we’ve run away,” Wen Ning told Wen Chao in a low voice, since she was still scowling. “And I think it’s fine if you bring Jiaojiao. She’s your girlfriend, right?”

Wen Chao frowned. “I mean…she’s someone I’m sleeping with. For now. That’s all – she’s just a maid.”

Wen Ning would normally refrain from commenting, but… “If she’s just a maid, then why do you care about her potentially dying when the Nie sect invades?”

Wen Chao’s face did something. “I – maybe I just want to have her around to keep sleeping with her!”

Wen Qing looked on the verge of saying something, but Wen Ning stepped on her foot.

“Maybe you should think about it,” she said. “I don’t think we can let a servant to come with us – same reason we can’t take Wen Zhuilu, since he’d just report the whole thing to your mom – but if she was your girlfriend and you trusted her…”

She trailed off and shrugged.

Wen Chao’s face was doing weird colors.

“A-Ning, stop trying to teach A-Chao to have mature emotional reactions, it’s a hopeless case,” Wen Qing said. “Keep packing instead. If I was smart, I’d let A-Chao stay here with her Jiaojiao and her dreams of being a princess.”

“No!” Wen Chao exclaimed, then flushed red.

“No? Then pack.”

-

“How about we just assume girl until otherwise proven?” Wen Xu suggested, patting the baby’s back to try to keep calm. Whether the person to be calmed was the baby or Wen Xu herself was unknown. “She doesn’t need to have gender imposed so early.”

“Deciding that she’s a girl is imposing a gender,” Wen Chao said. Her head was in Wang Lingjiao’s lap, and she was pouting. “I can’t believe we have to take care of a baby.”

“She’s family,” Wen Qing said.

“Her parents aren’t!”

“Mom’s rules are that anyone who has the Wen surname and blood who doesn’t have parents gets adopted into the main family.”

“Do Sect Leader Wen’s rules even matter any more?” Wen Ning asked, wringing her hands. “With her being under house arrest…”

“It’s temporary. Once she vows not to wage offensive war without approval of the other Great Sect leaders, she’ll be released and things will go back to normal. Mostly. Possibly with slightly less war?”

“Yes, but in the meantime, why do we have to be in charge?”

“Uh, because you’re the heirs?”

“I’m not the heir,” Wen Chao sniffed. “A-Xu is.”

“This is so stupid,” Wen Xu said. “I can’t believe our mother’s military campaign and inevitable tragic defeat was derailed by the giant man-eating tortoise A-Chao found.”

“Anyone could’ve stumbled over that cave!”

“We weren’t even supposed to be heading in that direction! If you hadn’t stolen the map and insisted on being the navigator –”

“It all turned out for the best,” Wen Qing interrupted. “No blood feuds – or at least, not any we can’t afford to pay off – and that awful Jin Guangshan isn’t around anymore, which the other sect leaders are pretending to mind but really don’t. Mom will be back in charge of the sect soon enough, and with luck will forget all about trying to take over the world and will instead go back to fucking her two lovers that swooped in and saved her life instead defeating her because she’s incredibly touched by that even if she’s pretending she’s not. It’s like a scene out of a bad play.”

“Can we get back to the bit where we got a baby?” Wen Xu said. “I don’t want to deal with a baby.”

“I already explained –”

“I’ll take A-Yuan,” Wen Ning volunteered. “She seems sweet.”

“Girls usually are.”

“We are not saying everyone is a girl until otherwise determined!”

“Why not?” Wen Xu wanted to know. “Worked out pretty good so far.”

“I – that is – I mean…” Wen Qing floundered, then scowled. “Okay, listen. Not even the Nie sect does that, and I refuse for the Wen sect to be weirder than the Nie. All right?”

Everyone considered that, and agreed.

They might be weird – but they weren’t that weird.

Right?

[kurowrites]

cute AU prompt? “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” i can see wangxian doing this!!! wei ying staying up until past 5am studying, lan zhan waking up and getting out of bed to see that wei ying is still fucking awake and hasn't moved since where he left him last night

“Wei Ying.”

“Nn,” Wei Ying replies, but it’s clear that he’s not really paying attention.

“It’s time to go to bed, Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan tries anyway.

“I know, Lan Zhan, I know,” comes the distracted answer. “I’ll go soon. I just want to finish this part.”

Lan Zhan sighs, but he gives in. It’s completely useless to try and talk sense into Wei Ying when he’s in this state. Lan Zhan knows that from experience. He’s failed to pry Wei Ying away from his desk when he’s on a study binge too many times already, and he’s not up to giving it another try tonight. He’s mostly just tired and wants to sleep.

“Good night, Wei Ying,” he says instead of any other words that might weigh heavy on the tip of his tongue, and turns towards his bed, folding back the cover.

“Night night,” Wei mumbles as Lan Zhan slips into bed.

Lan Zhan can’t help the sweet feeling that spreads in his chest. He looks at Wei Ying’s figure, framed by the weak light of the desk lamp as he is bent over a thick book, and he feels both affection and longing. A slim figure dressed in black-and-red flannel pyjamas, with bare feet and tousled hair.

Wei Ying is cute. Cute and everything else that Lan Zhan has ever wanted.

And Lan Zhan will never, ever tell him that he feels that way.

Lan Zhan closes his eyes.

---

When Lan Zhan wakes up the next morning, it’s still dark outside. He doesn’t need an alarm clock to wake up at 5 am sharp; the habit has been ingrained into him for many years. The world outside the window is still dark, but the dorm room itself is illuminated by a small source of light.

The desk lamp on Wei Ying’s desk is still turned on, and Wei Ying is still sitting at the desk in the same half curled-up position that he had been in when Lan Zhan went to be last night. The only difference to the night before is that his hair is even messier, and that a different book is placed in front of Wei Ying now.

Lan Zhan gets up quietly, slipping into a robe to shield himself from the chilly morning air. The room, along with the rest of the dorm, isn’t exactly well-isolated. He wonders how Wei Ying isn’t freezing right now, with his bare feet exposed to the cold night air.

He moves over to the desk.

“Wei Ying,” he says, quietly. “Good morning.”

“Mmmh,” Wei Ying replies; a sleepy sound.

He looks up from the book and blinks a few times, as if trying to bring Lan Zhan into focus. He looks tired, and wrinkled somehow, though not in a physical sense. Lan Zhan feels tempted to reach out and smooth Wei Ying out.

Wei Ying smiles once his gaze clears and he recognises Lan Zhan.

“Lan Zhan,” he says with the happiest expression on his face. “There you are.”

He blinks with a slowness that makes it clear he can barely keep his eyes open.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says. “It’s time to sleep.”

“I’m almost finished,” Wei Ying resists.

“You were almost finished eight hours ago,” Lan Zhan reminds him. “You need to rest.”

Wei Ying smiles another happy smile, but his eyes close, and he sways a little to the left.

Does Wei Ying know how tempting that face is, Lan Zhan wonders. Turned up towards him so trustfully, eyes closed, a quiet confidence in Lan Zhan’s willingness to take care of him. It’s almost too much.

“Lan Zhan is so good to me. Always making sure I’m fine. So good, so good.”

It’s clear he’s barely awake now. How he held out so long, Lan Zhan will never know.

It is easy, so very easy, to reach out and place his hands on Wei Ying’s hips. He’s done it before. There is no resistance when Lan Zhan takes hold of Wei Ying and lifts him up, makes him stand and walk the few steps over to his bed. When Lan Zhan folds back the covers, Wei Ying crawls in obediently.

Still, he complains, even as he snuggles into his pillow.

“Lan Zhan, I still have so many things to do, I can’t sleep yeeeeeeeet.”

The end of the sentence turns into a huge yawn.

“I will wake you when I’m back from class,” Lan Zhan promises. “You need to rest a little now.”

“Night night,” Wei Ying whispers, and then he’s out like a light.

Lan Zhan carefully wraps him in his blanket, makes sure he won’t get cold, and…

Sometimes, he is weak, he admits.

He leans down and places a gentle kiss on Wei Ying’s forehead.

“Sleep well, Wei Ying,” he whispers back. Then he straightens up. He leaves their shared room to head to the bathroom and get ready for the day. It’s only a little past five; at this time of the day, the bathroom will be deserted, as it always is.

Lan Zhan will have time to collect himself before he has to face the world outside of that small dorm room, and the strange, messy person that is currently asleep in it.

---

When Lan Zhan returns from class, he finds two eyes watching him from inside the blanket burrito on Wei Ying’s bed.

“You are awake?” Lan Zhan asks.

“Lan Zhaaaan,” the blanket burrito whines. “I slept for too long.”

“You needed it,” Lan Zhan replies.

“There are only so many hours in the day,” Wei Ying pouts. “It’s a waste to spend half of it asleep.”

“It’s also a waste to spend the rest of it too tired to do anything,” Lan Zhan says; it’s an old argument, well-worn by now. “I brought you food.”

He holds out a bag that contains a sandwich he knows Wei Ying likes.

That’s motivation enough for Wei Ying to pop out of his cocoon and make eager grabby hands for the bag of food. Lan Zhan hands it to him, and watches him dismantle it with quick movements.

Wei Ying looks up at him, smiles, and slaps the empty space on his mattress repeatedly, inviting Lan Zhan to take a seat.

Who is Lan Zhan to refuse? He gingerly takes the offered seat.

Wei Ying takes that as an invitation himself, and lets his head drop onto Lan Zhan’s shoulder, leaning against him as he unwraps the sandwich. He’s still sleep-warm, and he looks soft and tousled, and Lan Zhan finds himself wishing to monopolise this sight forever with shocking intensity.

“Yesss,” Wei Ying says when he sees that Lan Zhan has brought him one of his favourite sandwiches, the bánh mì from the Vietnamese food truck with a generous helping of hot sauce. “Lan Zhan is indeed the best.”

He takes a few quick bites and chews enthusiastically.

“Hn,” Lan Zhan agrees. Wei Ying should better be aware of that: That Lan Zhan is the best. That he takes care of Wei Ying. Not the girls that he keeps flirting with.

“Mmh,” Wei Ying hums, satisfied. “Delicious. Ah, if only I could marry someone like Lan Zhan, I would be the happiest man alive. So well taken care of.”

Someone like Lan Zhan. Someone like Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan feels a crushing weight on his chest. Why is it always someone like Lan Zhan, and never Lan Zhan himself? Why can’t he be an option? Is it because he’s not a girl, and Wei Ying likes girls that much? He’s confident he could take care of Wei Ying’s needs very well. All of his needs.

It makes him angry, somehow. Lan Zhan has been right there, ever since the first year of university when they started to share a dorm room, and he thinks he’s amply demonstrated by now that he’s the ideal candidate. How can Wei Ying still not know?

Something hot and insistent rises in his chest. Before he can help himself, he opens his mouth.

“Wei Ying can always marry me.”

Wei Ying jerks and looks up at him in shock, before he quickly dissolves into laughter.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he chuckles. “That would be terrible! You should go and marry a nice girl, have adorable and extremely smart children, and live happily ever after.”

Lan Zhan freezes. He struggles for a moment, trying to settle his feelings. Does Wei Ying… does Wei Ying not know? Has he somehow missed the way Lan Zhan feels in all these years?

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying asks, and Lan Zhan notices that Wei Ying’s mirth has turned into a worried expression. “Did I say something wrong? You don’t have to marry if you don’t want to, you know.”

Oh, Lan Zhan very much wants to marry. Only it’s not a girl he wants to marry. It’s never been a girl he wanted to marry.

“That would be fine really,” Wei Ying muses as he takes another bite of his sandwich. “We could be single together. No girl wants to marry me, so I’ll probably be single forever.”

How, Lan Zhan wonders. How can the person he loves be so stupid? How can he not understand? How much more obvious does he need to get?

“Wei Ying. Can always. Marry me,” he presses out, emphasising every word. Trying to make it as clear as he can that he means every word. That he would marry Wei Ying, if only Wei Ying would say yes.

This time, it’s Wei Ying that freezes, his sandwich forgotten halfway on its way to his mouth.

“If you say such things, Lan Zhan,” he says eventually, his tone light, “I might take you seriously. You don’t want that.”

Lan Zhan breathes out. Doesn’t want that. Like hell he doesn’t want that. He would drag Wei Ying to the registrar’s office right now, if Wei Ying agreed. How can Wei Ying be so oblivious of his feelings? What else does he have to do?

“Wei Ying should marry me,” he says.

And with Wei Ying’s face right there, it’s easy to turn his own, and place another kiss on that forehead.

Wei Ying is silent for far too long after that.

Then, he starts to laugh.

“Ah, Lan Zhan!” he exclaims. With quick fingers, he rewraps his sandwich and pushes it aside. “I warned you.”

The next thing Lan Zhan knows, there is a faint trace of hot sauce prickling on his lips, and Wei Ying is prancing towards the door of the room.

“I’m gonna brush my teeth,” Wei Ying says as he turns back for a moment. “After all, I don’t want to traumatize you. I want you to kiss me again.”

Wei Ying has slipped out of the room before Lan Zhan can tell him that it would take a little more than hot sauce to keep him from kissing Wei Ying. Again and again.

If he’s allowed to, now.

[authcntic]

hi, it’s your local mess em ! this is my first baby kota and i’ll be posting another intro for linc shortly butttt until then check out her pinterest / stats and maybe hmu on discord/smash that like if u wanna plot ?

lana condor. cisfemale. she/her. — did you see { dakota vu }, i haven’t seen the { twenty-one } year old in a while! you know, they’re a { record store clerk }, and have been living in jersey city for { eighteen years }. some say they’re { egocentric & facetious }, but i think they’re { affable & debonair }. regardless, i’m glad { kota } is here.

back in 1997, lan and huynh vu and her older brother, evan, welcomed dakota into the world ! while she was in fact born in vietnam, she didn’t live there long at all as they moved when she was only three to jersey city

moving to america presented better opportunities for dakota’s parents and they quickly made a better live for themselves and their kids in the town they began to call home

better opportunities meant more money and resulted in them absolutely spoiling their kids. they wanted to make up for the rough life they’d had back home, not realizing the consequences that spoiling them could have

they weren’t filthy rich, but the kids definitely got a couple toys every paycheck and got to pick where the family ate out every friday night. it was a good life for them, to say the least. 

school was plain old school. kota had a few boyfriends here and there, made decent enough grades and even played on her school’s volleyball team starting in seventh grade. and she was pretty great at it, still is. 

flash forward to high school, a time known for making first impressions. kota wanted to be popular more than anything. she convinced her parents to buy her only the cutest outfits, even getting a summer job at the grocery store to buy some herself. long story short, she made it to the popular crowd. 

not to be that person, but kota wasn’t your stereotypical popular girl. she told the corniest jokes, to the point that people sometimes laughed just because it was that bad. loves memes and is proud of it. has the worst laugh that sometimes ends in her snorting. was actually friendly to those that weren’t necessarily in her crowd. people liked her well enough. who could hate someone that still made punny jokes on the daily? 

nobody realized she had an ugly side until they got really close to her, or tried to. all those years of being spoiled had finally reared their ugly selfish head when people tried to go to her advice or have anything more than a surface-level conversation with her. 

her humor was suddenly annoying when she applied it to any and every serious situation, cracking jokes at the most inappropriate times. she’d never had to worry about anything serious in her entire life, considering her parents made sure the kids never witnessed the hardships they had dealt with in the past. so her coping mechanism for anything that stresses her out is laughing. in her mind, it’s the best idea and results in the most easy-going day. 

not only did she avoid anything serious, but she’d turn the conversation to her. how did her hair look? did they have that girl’s number who she’d made out with at the last party? any attempt at a serious talk resulted in a topic change, mostly to something about her. she loves talking about herself, considering she was so used to the attention being on her as a kid. somehow, she almost always turns the conversation topic to herself. it’s a talent at this point. 

don’t let this deter you from being her friend, though. she’s not a terrible person, she’s just stuck in a phase of sorts ?? maybe she’ll occasionally get serious, but that’s only if she’s seriously wasted. however, she’ll avoid getting to that state as much as she can because she knows that’s when she slips up and gets real. 

she’ll try not to show it, but she knows she avoids getting serious and she’d prefer to keep it that way. 

anyway ! after graduation she went to a two year college literally just so she could tell her parents that she got some sort of degree 

now she works at the local record store and acts like she runs the whole place ?? makes a lot of changes that the owner doesn’t know anything about which isn’t the biggest deal considering he’s mia 

some random details are that she visits vietnam every summer to see her extended family, secretly really f*king loves playing video games ladkjf ( it’s her passion and she’ll play you over and over again just to kick your ass at a game ), kinda embarrassed by how she was in high school but will she admit it ? never

likes to flirt when she finds someone she’s interested in and isn’t afraid to let them know she’s interested ! relationships ? maybe one in high school if the other person was lucky enough to get her to settle down for a min

loves her family a whole lot and will 100% try to kick your ass despite her being 5′3″ if you mess with them, they’re the one thing she’s serious about tbh

loves vietnam so much, one of the things she holds closest to her heart and she’ll go on and on abt how much she misses it

unknown to herself, kota is really a mess like .. yikes. she doesn’t really know how to deal with any situation that’s relatively serious which is a big issue and will definitely screw her over one day 

absentmindedly sings and sometimes gets caught by customers and she tries to act like nothing happened even tho it was definitely obvious that she was belting out i wanna dance with somebody 

some ideas for connections other than the usual (best friend, childhood friends, first kiss, enemies, etc) !

high school ex. news spread quickly of the person that finally caught kota and they definitely received lots of nods of approval for being able to do it. could have been that they genuinely liked each other and once it started getting serious she ditched, or maybe they dated simply because they were both popular and it made sense. 

breaking down the wall. despite her stubborness and refusal of it, this person keeps trying to get her to be serious and understand that life isn’t all sunshine. they want this for her and probably have a hell of a lot of patience to attempt to make her a decent person and eventually, help her find her way. 

repeat customer. this person either really loves music or maybe just wants to see the girl who works there, who knows ? either way, they talk about music for hours and sometimes even go get food together on her lunch break. on occasion she’ll set aside a record that she thinks they’ll like. she appreciates them though she’ll never say it out loud. 

high school friend. these two ran in the same crowd and for appearance’s sake, acted like the best of friends despite their occasional fights. eventually the anger boiled over and after graduation, they blew up on each other. it was so bad that everybody knew and now they won’t talk if they don’t have to. they’ll make small talk, still feeling the obligation of being civil from back in high school, but that’s it. 

[escailyyy]

A grandaughter's problem

“Ah so there’s my little lightsaber, come to visit your old granddaddy eh?” Obiwan Kenobi huffed wheeling his wheelchair down the hall of his retirement haven, towards the angry form of his most rebellious granddaughter Kira, rolling his eyes at her revealing clothes he raised an eyebrow in the way only a retired member of the Special Joined, Equanimity Division of Intelligence (J.E.D.I) order could “you just missed Rey and Daisy, who by the way had a very interesting piece of gossip to share”

“Daisy and Rey don’t know anything” Kira snapped crossing her arms over her scantily clad chest, taking in his subtle chastisement and making a beeline for Obiwan’s linen closet, emerging minutes later clad in one of her grandfather’s old black Jedi Council tunics and sweatpants three sizes too big “they need to stay out of my bloody life, what gives them the right to butt in?”

“So, you haven’t been receiving flowers for a whole week in a row coupled with Slayer CD’s?” Grandfather Kenobi wondered raising an eyebrow “and you haven’t been refusing to let them read the cards that come with said gifts?” Wheeling himself to the adjacent kitchen Obiwan reached for the ever-boiling kettle that was a hallmark of the Kenobi household “have some tea Kira”

“FINE, I’ll tell you…but only because you’re you and because you’re not being a pain in the ass like Tweedle Dee Dee and Tweedle Dee Dum” Kira accepted the tea with a grudging smile and groaned “Gramps I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!! I swear one minute I’m fine, going about my life, punching the crap out of my competition in the ring and one minute I’m not and then everything goes bloody sideways, and it’s all my stupid fault for saving Ben’s life”

“Kira, calm down, I assume it’s a long story yes?”

“Of course it is arghhh I just want to punch the bloody asshole”

“Start with the beginning, why did you have to save Ben’s life?”

Obiwan sighed, he often told himself had done a good job with the girls, Luke and Leia could vouch for that, after surviving the fall of the Emperor’s drug empire and with Anakin (no longer Vader) living out his remaining days in a high security glorified nursing home, Obiwan Kenobi hadn’t planned on one day being contacted by social services just about ten or so years later with the news that the secret son he’d had with Satine, who was supposed to be living a happy tragedy less life in Mandalore, was dead and unless he claimed custody of his son’s three orphan children the girls would be shipped off to some place far like Jakku.

So Obiwan had stepped up, retired to a modest house near the beach in Yavin IV and raised the girls himself with the occasional help from what was left of his friends.

Funny how the reason he’d abstained from mixing too much with Leia’s family was because he thought her own set of pre teen triplets were already enough work for Han and her her and in the end it turned out that it was Obiwan who found himself handing out sage advice to her.

Kenobi didn’t regret raising the girls away from Coruscant, if anything he was glad Rey, Kira and Daisy had gone to small town schools and roamed the beach and woods to their hearts content.

He just hadn’t counted with their strange fascination towards the Solo boys.

Anakin (Mustafar blast him) liked to laugh trough his life support and tell him he deserved it for all the grief Obiwan ever put his former Padawan trough.

“The beginning…Well, I guess it started last year when that bantha shit of Ben Solo said I wouldn’t know how to dress like a real girl even if Jessica Pava herself let me borrow her whole wardrobe, which is a load of… ”

“Was this before or after you ruined Kylo’s chance with Rey by showing her that video of him trashing his tattoo parlor after talking to Han” her Grandfather interrupted with narrowed eyes

“a bit after, the next day I think” Kira admitted ruefully “in my defense I have nothing against Kylo, he’s just a violent weirdo who doesn’t deserve Rey”

“Kira! You told Rey that Kylo had torched the falcon with Han inside!” Obiwan scolded “And belittle him infront of her every time you get a chance”

“He’s not good enough for her! Someone’s got to make sure she knows it” Kira protested crossing her arms over her chest.

“And Daisy with Matt?”

“Those two can ruin their relationship on their own”

“KIRA LAN KENOBI” Obiwan snapped raising his voice to scold her once again “sabotaging the happiness of your sisters is not something I approve of”

“But Grandpa!”

“Just continue your story”

“Well, then I told Ben that how would he know, since the only time he’s ever been interested in girls clothes was when he’s trying to take them off some poor unsuspecting soul”

“It all escalated from there until he said that from looking at my chest he understood why guys ran away from me”

“And you punched him in the face” Obiwan guessed wisely

“I did”

“You know his hostility might have had something to do with your single-minded tendency of ruining his brother’s happiness” but her grandfather’s observation got ignored by Kira

“But every time we’ve seen each other since then is the same thing” Kira kept on talking “he was always bloody remarking on the fact that I’m too boyish and tough and violent, and screw him I might not be all boobs and ass like Bazine but I’m not a bloody guy!”

“Isn’t that Bazine the girl you called “skanky cabaret stripper” after the Solo’s last New Year’s Eve party?“ Obiwan recalled the moniker being repeated with way too much frequency whenever Kira complained about Ben Solo’s womanizing and why that made Kylo and Matt entirely wrong for Rey or Daisy

"That’s the one, she’s got fake: nails, boobs, hair, teeth and personality"Kira listed angrily before returning to the subject at hand "so last week after debating it out with Rey in Han’s garage I got fed up, I just went downtown, bought a couple of dresses that would make even someone like Solo stop and pay attention and showed up at Poe’s birthday bash with Rey”

“Yes, I remember, incidentally Daisy told me that you and I quote "looked like a goddess of darkness, but got angry and left early’ and those were her exact words”

Kira smirked she HAD looked like a goddess thank you very much, that red and black one shoulder cocktail dress with her best skull printed fishnet stockings and loose hair had been enough to make her stand out even next to Phasma (which was a feat considering Phas had the term ‘Chrome Queen’ down to a trademark and Kira always looked like a punk rock Hobbit when they hung out together) “here’s the thing Granps, Hux was there too, he tried flirting with moi, which made me laugh at every three words he said”

“Why? Didn’t you want boys to notice the pretty dress? Daisy said Hux was your type” Obiwan had long ago accepted the fact that his girls were grown up, honestly after having to give them the talk before puberty and managing to survive ten or so years of synchronized periods, he considered the whole talking-about-boys thing the least traumatic of conversation topics.

“Hey one, ew it’s Hux, he doesn’t count as a boy because he’s a ginger and please feel free to take offense, gingers are the devil” Kira pointed out making her grandfather laugh “two, everytime Armitage Hux tries flirting with me it’s only because he’s trying to look casual when he turns around to make an actual move on Phasma, constipated and anal retentive as he is” Kira snorted “and three, it wasn’t a PRETTY dress, it was a badass masterpiece of clothing that was dug out from a ceremonial tomb in the ruins of Jedha and restored to its original glory by a black market Tailor”

“Kira what have I told you about doing your shopping in the ill-obtained-goods district of Coruscant?” Old Kenobi interjected with exasperation

“It’s a dress Grandpa…Or two or three, the tomb of Wesi Ker isn’t going to miss them and they came at a lower rate than the designer garbage General Organa loves to dress Rey in”

“Force give me patience” Grandfather said elevating his eyes to the sky “Don’t change the subject young lady, what did Hux do that you left early?”

“Hux? Nothing, didn’t I just tell you that Hux has a weird fetish for gigantic and blonde bi ladies?” Kira snapped, recalling Hux smarmy compliments “it was Ben! He’s the one who called me hot one moment and as soon as he saw Hux said I looked like cheap a skin girl, the idiot, chauvinistic, pompous bantha anus that he is”

“I take it you also punched him for the remark” in fact if she hadn’t it would have been a sign of the Apocalypse for Old Kenobi

“Of course not, it was Poe’s birthday, I promised Rey that there would be no punching”

“Then what..” old Obiwan raised his finger to ask

“…I took advantage of the slit in the leg of my dress to knee him in the nuts” Kira elaborated then she added for good measure “like a lady good and proper”

Privately Obiwan hoped it had hurt as much as Kira’s pride “so you left early” he deduced with a knowing look

“And ended up saving Ben Solo’s life, when I should have left him to die”

“I take it there’s more to the story than just leaving early then”

“Look I was going to! I even made nice with Poe and everything, bought him this very nice empire era X-Wing air freshener as a gift and abstained from insulting Finn’s obvious bad taste in boyfriends” Kira protested hotly “But Poe, the bloody Tautun, had to make a whole spectacle out of it and Daisy was begging me to stay because she’s Daisy and since Solo is Poe’s best friend, he attempted to cajole me into letting him drive me home, Grandpa, the gall of him! as tough I’m some simpering little idiot who doesn’t know what nasty shit he uses the Millennium Falcon for”

“Kira, didn’t you carpool in Rey’s car that day? Ben Solo might be a scoundrel but I’d have to agree on that one” Obiwan interrupted “I know, I know, you’re Kira Kenobi and can take care of yourself, but don’t blame an old man for being a worrier”

“I was planning to use my speeder, since Phasma brought it and I knew she’d be crashing with he’s-just-a-good-colleague Hux in his fancy Coruscant penthouse”

“A speeder in a dress? Force help me Kira! Not even your grandmother ever did that and believe me, I saw Satine wear a lot of strange clothing when escaping assassination attempts back in the day”

“Solo said the same thing…Well give or take a few ‘do you plan on flashing all the Commonwealth district’ and 'Kira let me drive you home blah blah blah’ oh and when I wouldn’t listen to him he kissed me but that’s unimportant what’s important is that Dabba the Hutt’s minions…”

“Kira?” Obiwan leveled her another Jedi Council eyebrow raise “Ben Solo kissed you?”

“He did, I was trying to get away from him, he followed me to the parking lot and kissed me” She squirmed under her grandfather’s all knowing look

“Ben, the scoundrel you’ve been complaining about since you were thirteen, that Ben” Another Jedi Council eyebrow

“Yes that Ben, the same one I slapped minutes later”

“The Ben that you claim not to like”

“Grandpa! I really don’t like him, he’s an egocentric prick with a hero complex and a wandering dick” Kira didn’t like the laughter in her grandfather’s eyes not one bit and okay maybe that first kiss hadn’t been that bad and maybe he’d tasted like cigarettes and corellian wine but she absolutely still hated him

“Oh the follies of youth my child”

“Anyway, he kissed me, and don’t look at me like that I slapped the grin of his face and told him I’d never in a million years be a notch in his bedpost then he got angry and told me he’d see me in hell for that lie and I thought that was it, except it wasn’t because as he was leaving the parking lot to join the party Dabba the Hutt’s minions ambushed him”

“What is it with Solo men and angering Hutts? I could tell our one or two stories about Han in his Hutt days that would make even you feel like vomiting” Obiwan huffed as he put two and two together “he might be my namesake but Ben takes after his father too much, why didn’t they just name the boy Han junior?”

“I know! But guess what it turns out this time it wasn’t Ben’s fault” Kira smirked “I know shocking isn’t it”

“Very” her grandfather agreed bring the mug of tea to his lips

“So the twilek and the togruta mobsters ambushed him because that skank of Bazine is now Dabba the Hutt’s sidepiece, and pummeled Ben into submission before stuffing the idiot in the back of a van” then she paused “this is the part where I decided to be an idiot too and followed them in my speeder” she HAD been forced to rip her dress but the shorter length had suited her just fine

“Did you subdue them with a blaster or did you let your fist do the talking?” Obiwan hummed putting his mug down

“A Blaster but how did you know?” In fact she’d followed them into a warehouse and had started shooting warning blasts as soon as she saw Solo tied up with a bag over his head

“I raised you Kira, I know everything” was the sage answer she got

“Anyway there was I shooting at some Hutt minions, saving Solo’s ass, handing him my spare gun and he suddenly gives me that look!” Kira grumbled opening her eyes exaggeratedly and fluttering her eyelashes while trying to imitate Ben “you know the look, the pathetic one Kylo gives Rey when she’s not looking”

“Ahh the Bambi eyes”

“Yes and it’s ridiculous because I’m beating the shit out of those dumpsters for him and we’re right in the middle of a fight, what the hell Grandpa? I didn’t ask for the Bambi eyes!” Kira got angrier “that’s Matt’s deal, hell it’s Kylo’s too, but I am Kira Kenobi and I could have lived the rest of my life perfectly happy without knowing Ben was capable of directing that look at me”

Obiwan knew exactly what look she was talking about, the one that only a Skywalker could replicate, a gaze that was a mixture of awe, worship and admiration with just the right ammount of love that made mooncalfs look tame. Leia had a habit of sporting Bambi eyes whenever she looked at Han after the war.

In hindsight maybe the triplets had inherited the look from Shmi Skywalker, the blame for this couldn’t be laid exclusively at Anakin’s door.

“So he gave you the Bambi eyes and…”

“And now I’m doomed”

“Perfectly understandable”

“No I mean yes, I mean” Kira fisted her hands “We were fighting and he’s looking at me like I’m his new religion or something and then we’re tying up the twilek and the togruta and getting the hell out of Dodge in my speeder and it felt so right grandpa” she took a deep breath and a gulp of tea “and then I’m dropping him off at the Senate building and he’s kissing me again, only this time I kiss him back because dammit who can resist those stupid brown eyes when they have that look”

“So that’s why you think you’re doomed” Obiwan agreed “you’re right dear, you are very much doomed, has he asked you to marry him yet?”

“After we broke apart from that kiss”

“And now he’s sending you flowers” Grandfather chuckled “if you dislike the gesture why don’t you tell him to stop?”

“Because then I’d have to talk to him!” Kira replied then she smiled a little bit momentarily lighting up the perpetual scowl on her face “besides nobody has ever sent me flowers before, all the guys that like me are way too scared”

“What do your sisters think about it?”

“Oh Force if they knew it’s him I’ll never hear the end of it from Rey, they all know scoundrels are so not my kriffin type”

“Exept one scoundrel apparently is”

“I blame the Bambi eyes” Kira crossed her arms over her chest “and you grandpa are not allowed to tell anybody capisce?”

“Who would I tell?” Obiwan lied knowing fully well what his next topic of discussion with Anakin would be when they met up for senior discount brunch in his penitentiary’s cafe

“So what do I do? I don’t want to like him, he’s still an asshole with a hero complex and a womanizer track record”

“Trust the force?” Her grandfather joked earning him a glower from Kira “just follow your instincts Kira, that’s what my old master used to say”

“Your old master died a virgin”

“Actually Qui Gon lied to the Jedi Council about that but that’s a story for another day”

“So it wasn’t just you and vader who lied about that?…You know you Jedis had a ton of double standards” Kira needled in, much like the eldest Solo triplet, Kira had also done a stint in the Secret, Institution for Terror and Hostility (S.I.T.H) that opposed the Jedi order during her teens.

Obiwan had breathed easily when Kira’s fascination with the emperor (who was rumored to be related to the triplets mysterious mother) had dwindled from Sith tendencies down into a simple knack for collecting empire related memorabilia. As opposed to Kylo’s much more painful experience at the hands of Snoke the last head of the Sith organization.

“And that’s a lesson to learn from the old Jedi order that Luke took into account” Obiwan cut off good-naturedly “avoid double standards” he sent her a pointed look “anything else you’d like to share? I can see it’s eating you, trust me my dear if he likes you everything will be fine”

“His last flowers came with tickets to a Black Sabbath concert” Kira confessed ruefully “I didn’t exactly talk to him, but I might have sent him a text telling him to pick me up in three hours”

“I don’t know what millennials are calling that nowadays but in my time we called that a date”

“It’s not a date! I don’t do dates, dates are for pathetic people like Matt and Daisy”

“Does Ben Solo know that?” Obiwan chuckled

“Shut up Grandpa” Kira put her head in her arms and let out a scream “Force I’m so kriffin doomed”

And Obiwan did as a good grandfather would and didn’t voice his agreement out loud “it’s all right Kira, if he gets too out of hand you can just punch him again”

“What if I don’t want to punch him?” Kira raised her head from her arms

“Then you don’t punch him, simple as that”

“I don’t want to be a notch in his bedpost, I’d die if I’m just a game for his stupid nerf herder ass”

“Kira any man that even thinks that you’re the type of girl that gets used like that, deserves all the pain he’ll get when you disabuse him of the notion”

“Thanks Grandpa, that…Made me feel oddly better”

Obiwan sighed leave it to Kira to be comforted by thoughts of violent retribution “You have a Jedi blessing to break that boy’s bones if he doesn’t behave”

“And here I thought you couldn’t be a sweeter old man” Kira smiled “thank you, I really needed to hear that”

Oh Anakin would have a life support field day when Obiwan shared the latest Grandchild gossip, that’s for sure, but in the meantime Obiwan Kenobi poured more tea and listened to Kira’s dramatic death threats towards the man she liked.

He wished Satine could see him now, she would laugh too.

An: lils happy early birthday, Dark Rey was fun to write. Lilithsaur dear this fic was inspired by Franco and Sarita’s relationship in PDG. Also the girls love for quirky Grandpa Martin..