#frog of a hoof

[notawitchbutabitch-blog]

There are normal amphibians called frogs, you know em', they swallow with their eyes, breathe with their skin, and catch shit with their tounge

now why are there more things called frogs?

why is the part on a horse hoof that is a bit softer also called the frog?

why in the world is the part that tenses the horsehair on a violin bow also called the frog?

Are there more weird things called frogs?

it would be weirder if only these two things, which are strangely horse-centric, were called frogs.

What is the connection between a frog and a horse?

[stinkypeanutbutter]

I’m always like “ noooo , I don’t want to draw Aiden anymore I draw him too much “ and then Red hits us with “ Mpuntain goat Aiden !!! “ and I go insane .

[strawberry-seal77]

You got any silly jokes?

I think Id like to hear one

How come horses can jump so high? They have frogs on their feet!

[feelo-fick]

ITS PILLBUG CHILLCHUCK!!! BUGCHUCK!!!! CHILBUG!!!! PILLCHUCK!!!! teketekatekateketekateka (<- sound of him skittering across the floor)

this started out as a joke design but then i got really invested halfway through

(inspired by @buniix3's hc on this post and the many jokes about him being a bug)

as a side note, an explanation on a pun thats just for me : "teka" means "wait" or "hold on" in Filipino, but it also happens to be an onomatopoeia for bug/skittering noises, so when hes saying "teka! teka!" hes practically making bug sounds despite it being an actual word HAHAHA

+ some design notes :

- his two hair thingys on his head became antenna (<- as if they werent practically antenna already)

- his bag is/resembles a monkey cup (a plant shaped like a pitcher that lures prey in with nectar until they slip and fall into the "cup" and get digested - similar to that man-eating plant in ep. 2)! also i wanted to make it vaguely similar to the frog suit, just because i like that outfit and i feel that it should be memorialized

- i dont think this is true to actual pillbugs, but i made him have claw-like (or maybe hoof-like is more fitting) hands and feet because uhhh i thought itd be fun, + ants have them im pretty sure

- the open toed shoes are mostly because i wanted to show the hoofs but you could also reason that its for dexterity/agility purposes

anyways i like him... buggo.... beady ass eyes... love that guy

[kit-williams]

Hoof Care

Yes I was really thinking of Baldamort's voice for Drar (Watch his video on the Master of Executions and well you can probably figure out where I got Drar's voice from)

Husbandry tag list: @egrets-not-regrets @liar-anubiass-blog @barn-anon @bleedingichorhearts @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

thank you @squishyowl for the 40k themed dividers

It was that time of the month again where you'd get a call to go to them they paid you quiet a bit and of course you weren't the only person going... it was always a big big event. You head to the Iron Warrior's base near the city... most Chaos Space Marines' don't have bases but their loyalist counterparts do... though Iron Warriors are an exception not a norm. Though you weren't sure as the Iron Warriors didn't have too much friction with their "traitor" selves? You didn't understand nor really bother too.

The norm would be the fact that there is a Night Lord base being built somewhere given that there were now enough loyalist night lords demanding it. But you made sure your tools were sharp and everything was ready... you knew the only downside of the Iron Warriors was the fact that both loyalist and traitor elements kept pushing and vying for power within their own... faction?

As you backed your truck in and got out you could hear his crooning... he was old had that slightly withered lit to his voice as it croaked out of him as if he had ruined his vocal cords time and time again. "Missy so nice of you to join us." Drar the Warpcutter spoke and if you remembered he said he was the leader of a warband known as the Malefactors of Sin.

"Lord Drar... and hello Helios." You politely said as his Master of Executions followed. The big man behind him looked at you and you swallowed... you didn't get the feel good vibes everyone else got. Your eyes flicked to their weapons... to the skulls up their belt... and you had a feeling Drar enjoyed the fact you were afraid of them. "Where is Vasso..." You ask for the current "chapter master" and you watch Drar wave his hand.

"Busy. The child is going to work himself to death at this rate and I... took the liberty of playing host for him." He says with a grin, "But enough pleasantries... you're the final one to arrive." You flinch as his massive hand pushes against your back and you move into the hanger.

Chaos Space Marines of countless chapters and warbands were here all highly mutated. Heavy hooves clipped and clopped against the floor as centaurs made their way to the designated zone. You headed over to the other ferriers as Drar trilled his goodbye and Helios just gave a nod. You could see where other space marines were watching and learning how to take care of their mutated brothers and cousins as in the far corner you could see iron warriors guarding feral marines that took the offer for maintained care but do not want humans touching them. You could understand as it took you a long time to get over the wrongness of your clients.

At least they behaved better than horses, the massive hooves were clipped and trimmed even polished if they wanted too. The utterly massive Black Legionary stallion... Troc was his name, he would have been such a pretty black horse, brought his own shoes... shiny brass things. He liked his hooves painted a nice solid black.

You could hear Adamatar bellowing as the white minotaur had hurt one of his hooves and so trying to get him to behave enough to put a block on his hoof was feeling like an impossible task. You could spy long tails wagging as fur coats were being brushed... a canine centaur of a Night Lord was half asleep as he was getting his jet black fur coat groomed and nails trimmed on his paws. You trimmed the frog of Troc's hooves just shaping his hoof as he was currently gushing about his bonded... a little girl who had a habit of calling him "pony" or "horsey" when she got overly excited and also calling him "Truck".

The shiny iron horseshoes of a bulky draft of an Iron warrior caught your eye. They certainly liked to feel pretty.... you shiver as a heavily mutated space marine lumbers past... organized chaos of it all and you're getting paid enough that it makes you not have to worry about the slower times of the year.

You could see someone with their body leaning into a massive stomach maw just cleaning the teeth of the marine. You stop looking as you hammer in his shoe and work on cutting the nails and then applying the black hoof polish.... rinse and repeat.

Sure they cooperated more then an actual animal but it was still a lot of hard work. "Hey!" You snapped at someone's apprentice. "Don't just walk behind them!" You said pointing out the fact that they were just walking right behind the centaurs. Which if he was working with actual horses was bad practice.

"They won't kick." They countered back.

"Yeah but they still can't see you and when you work with an actual horse they will kick if you walk right behind you. Give them the same berth as you would an actual horse because if one of these boy's kicks you're going to die." You huff as you resume working on the hooves of the Iron Warrior as someone was working on his horns... it was sometimes easier to do multiple tasks on the same marine as they kept still.

Lunch was provided and it was nice... it felt normal to have that lull in working as you grabbed a coffee as you worked in shifts... went around inspecting other's techniques... watching how some of them were teaching their apprentices, in various fields, or how they were teaching the Astartes on how to take care of their own. Sometimes a feral marine would be brave and try to get taken care of by one of us "mortals" but you never volunteered you had plenty of Astartes asking for you to work on them personally.

But the day blurred on by till you were getting handed a stack of cash of a few thousand dollars with the hope that you would come back same time next month and as well as the cavate that if something changed they would inform you. Again you see Drar as you head back to your trunk and a cup of coffee, that looks so small in his hands, is given to you. "What's this for?"

"Job well done?" He croons.

"Ah yes the usual hush coffee so I don't tattle on Vasso of you playing chapter master huh?" You say ignoring the scowl on his face as you sip the coffee, "or... is it hush coffee to keep me from tattling again to Vasso because you enjoy scaring people?"

"Mouthy little mortal aren't you." He hisses as you cow slightly, far too tired to not be filled with dread as he moves far too smoothly for something so big. He spat to the side, "But something like that."

"And like usual I'm going to be the last one to leave because you like chatting." You say tiredly as you drink the hot brew that made you feel tired. You had enough for a hotel in the city for tonight though... beds were always available here at the fortress. "I have a feeling you're going to chat me up so long I might just have to spend the night."

Drar laughed, it was hardly a pleasant sounding thing... it was dark and ominous... it was downright an evil sounding thing that ended rolling in his chest till it quieted. "You look exhausted."

You just drank the coffee to prevent yourself from making a 'captain obvious' joke, "I might stay tonight or at least get a few hours of shut eye."

"Then let me play the good host once more." He crooned and you just locked your car after placing your tools inside... just a few hours of sleep then you'd make the drive home.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I request a oneshot with Leshy from Cult of the Lamb and this child follower who just follows him eVeRyWhErE, and after getting mad at the child he's just like, 'yo heket I have a kid' and he's unbelievably chill about it after that and eventually just brings the kid with him instead of the child stalking him. (And platonically because I'm not that kind of weird--)

If you don't write for platonics or just don't want to write this please ignore-- have a wonderful timezone!

Awe this is such a cute idea!! Also for the child follower y/n I decided to make Lamb their parent (I'll leave the other parent up to interpretation).

...........

"Lesh!"

"Augh!! Lamb's little brat...how dare you stand in my way?! I could have tripped over you and spilled all these beetroots!"

"Sorry. I thought you'd wanna play tag..."

"Tag? No, thank you. I feel as though I'd be at a great disadvantage. Why don't you go find somebody else to play with? Perhaps someone who still has their sight."

"Okaaaay!"

"Good. Now away with you." Shooing you off, Leshy heard your hoof-steps running away from him. As he put the vegetables into the farming station's chest, he growled in irritation upon hearing Lamb's annoying bleating, as well as your own as you greeted them.

If only he could roll his nonexistent eyes...

For the Red Crown's vessel to marry their most devoted follower was one thing...but to have a child with them, too??

That's something he didn't expect when he first arrived into the cult. It probably wouldn't have bothered him so much if you weren't half-sheep and chose to annoy him in particular.

He's not sure how much time had passed between your birth and Lamb "saving" him and his siblings from purgatory...but you've grown into quite the irritable spawn.

You only proved his point when you returned a few minutes later, and he slammed the chest closed, making you stop in your tracks.

"The clopping of your hooves gives me a headache sometimes..what is it now?"

"Lammy asked me to ask you if um...you could lead the harvest ritual this evening?" You smiled up at him, oblivious to his attitude and snappy words.

".....they couldn't just ask me themselves??!" He groaned. "Fine. Tell them I will begin it at sundown. And I'm not waiting for everyone. If they're late, oh well."

"Will do! Thank you, Lesh!!"

The green bushworm huffed and tried going back to his work, only to become startled when you rammed into him, hugging his torso tightly. It made him tense up as he hissed angrily at you. "Don't touch!!!"

You let him go, confused. "Why?"

"Because....!!!" Leshy paused, having remembered that Lamb was likely close by, watching him. So he took a moment to think of another excuse. "...because..you may get ichor in your wool. We bishops haven't fully healed yet..so you may get sick."

"Ohhhhh, I see it. Sorry, Lesh! I'll be more careful next time!"

Nodding, he heard you leave to tell your parent what he said, and he was convinced you were officially gone for good this time.

Then his ears picked up the sound of a wheezy chuckle.

"I hear you, sister..."

"Brother...is...warming up....to them.." Heket teased as she approached her younger brother, nudging his elbow playfully.

"As if! I only put on the act because Lamb's around." He scoffed, shaking his head. "They won't hesitate to make me relive my death again if I do anything to upset their little spawn.."

"Hm..good...luck. I'm...hungry...bye...." The red frog decided to leave him alone and head to the kitchen station.

And for a while, Leshy was able to finish his tasks at the farm without any disturbances. But just as he brushed the dirt off his hands and was ready to eat, too, he overheard Lamb talking with a random follower who hollered their name from across the base.

They spoke of having trouble confessing to someone they liked...so they wanted their leader to get flowers from his realm as a "gift" for this crush of theirs.

He thought it was outrageous.

'Does nobody here want to lift a finger anymore?! Or maybe..they're just too scared to enter my realm...so it must be doing well even without me to rule it. But if Lamb's going there, then.....no...would they..?'

It suddenly dawned on Leshy, and he scratched his bandages, finally remembering something that has been weighing heavily on his mind:

A relic.

Specifically a piece of him that was lost to the woods.

He remembers commanding the worms to hide it for him so none of his devotees tried to seize its power for themselves.

For as long as he's been in Lamb's cult, he learned they were an excellent scavenger--willing to retrieve bundles of silk or crystals for their more artsy followers, and even mushrooms for those who were "curious" about them.

They've reunited friends and siblings...even the ones who killed their entire species.

Surely, he could ask them about it.

It wouldn't hurt to try, right?

After the follower left, Leshy walked over to you and Lamb, ignoring your greeting of excitement when he arrived, as well as him making no effort to stop you from playing with his tail. It just swished around, and you kept jumping over it like some rope.

"Lamb. Just so we're clear..this is not a favor, I do not need your charity." He warned.

"...okay? What is it?" They tilted their head, closing their doctrine book.

"Well...when dear brother Narinder struck us in his fury, my eyes were torn from the socket. One was salvaged, and hidden in the tangled Darkwood. I despair at the thought of it being uncovered by some simple-minded beast..."

He took a pause, before sighing. "You have navigated my realm once before, do so again and recover my eye. Perhaps we can...make an arrangement."

As expected, Lamb was adamant. "Why should I find something that your "dear brother" took? Why don't you ask him since it's his fault? Or maybe you can go find it yourself?"

"You know I can't. If he goes, he'll lie and claim it's gone forever. If I go, all of Darkwood will be out for my head!" He huffed. "I thought it was your duty to cater to your followers' needs. You've never sent one back into the maw of Silk Cradle to find their lost brother, even though it's their fault for-"

"That's different, Leshy. You don't get to group yourself with them just yet." They warned, scowling at him. "They don't know these realms like you do. They have good hearts, led astray by your hubris and corruption. You were a rotten bishop who ruined their lives..ruined my life...and on that note, you've shown my child nothing but disrespect since the moment you arrived."

At the mention of you, you stopped playing around and frowned. "Lammy-"

"Disrespect?! They've been following me nonstop and disrupting my work!!" He exploded. "But of course you'll never believe me because they're such a "perfect little angel" in your eyes-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, WRETCHED WORM!!!"

Suddenly, Leshy felt his throat tightening up as his feet were lifted off the ground. And he coughed, clasping his hands around his neck as he realized what was happening to him:

Lamb was strangling him.

And there's no way for him to fight the invisible force that kept crushing his windpipe. He could only gag and beg for mercy, becoming panicked quickly as the ichor dripped down his face faster.

Why did this feel more agonizing than the sharp blades that sliced and diced into him dozens of times?

"Never forget the god who usurped you and granted vermin like you the blessing of redemption.." The sheep snarled, eyes glowing red with rage, sharp teeth bared as they watched the bushworm writhe. "Speak illy of my child again, and I will-"

"Lammy, stop it!! You're hurting him!"

They felt a tug on their cloak and looked at you, having forgotten that you've been standing there the entire time. A look of horror flashed in their eyes as they quickly set Leshy down, allowing him to catch his breath.

"Oh no..I...forgive me, my dear." Embracing you, they gave you a tiny smile after their demonic features disappeared. "I-I didn't mean to make you see that, but...you must understand why I did it, right? He was being very rude and unkind to-"

"He didn't mean it." You pouted, although you did hug them back. "Will you find his eye?"

Leshy glanced up in bewilderment.

Did he hear you correctly?

Lamb was just as stunned that you were taking his side, blinking. "But [y/n]-"

"No! You have to find it, Lammy! He's only grouchy because he doesn't have his missing eye." Your gaze went to the bushworm. "I bet if you find it for him, he'll feel better!"

"...I suppose you're right about that." They sighed in defeat, standing up and turning to him. "You are fortunate that my child has such a forgiving heart, so...I will search for your eye when I have the time. But remember that I'm doing this for them, not for you."

Leshy just nodded in understanding, awkwardly scratching his bandages as he heard hoof steps walking away from him. Yet he was too afraid of moving from his kneeling position.

"It's okay. It's just me, Lesh."

Feeling your smaller hands take his own, his shoulders relaxed a little as you brushed some of the ichor off his face with a cloth you found. "Don't cry, it's okay now."

"I-I..had it coming." He finally found his voice, still shaken up over the altercation. "It's my fault. I was the one acting more childish than you..and I owe you an apology for-"

"No, Lammy should be sorry." You frowned and hugged him. "I don't like it when they do that. You're right..they should help everyone here. Even you."

This time he didn't push you away and instead wrapped his arms around you, feeling the wool on top of your head and the nubs that would soon sprout into horns.

Lamb was right.

He felt blessed to have your forgiveness...or else he surely would have met a grim demise.

Maybe you weren't as annoying as he previously thought.

"..thank you, [y/n], for standing by me. Will you...let me know when your parent returns with my eye?" He hesitated to ask.

Yet you immediately answered with enthusiasm.

"Of course!"

..........

"Sister! My child's green thumb continues to flourish!"

"....you....have...child...?"

"Over there!"

"...Lamb's....spawn-?"

"No, no! That is [y/n]!" Leshy huffed, shaking his head as he heard you rapidly approaching. Then he crouched down with a smile, keeping his arms open so you could rush into them. "How are you today?"

"Great, Lesh!!" You giggled as he picked you up, although he sensed that you put something on his head. "It's a camelia crown. The most beautiful ones I could find! I feel sad you can't see it, though..."

"That is alright, little one. I still remember their colors and radiance.." His claws reached up to gently brush the petals, humming with nostalgia. "Its fragrance remains constant..so I know it's always here with me. Thank you."

Looking at Heket, you giggled again as you saw that her extra pair of eyes were now open, wide with disbelief at her brother's sudden change of heart. "Hek-Hek! I didn't know you had four eyes!"

"...what did...you do...to...brother?" She squinted in suspicion.

"Well, umm..I-" You stammered, trying to explain yourself.

"They insisted that Lamb recovered my eye." Leshy was quick to explain, setting you down on the ground. "At first they refused and got irrationally angry with me for "insulting" their child. But [y/n] spoke up in my defense and...their "Lammy" listened and retrieved it this morning. Looks like it was in one of Chemach's lairs, but I let them keep it."

"Huh.....why..?"

"It's more useful to them as a relic. It's not like I can reattach my own eye and see out of it again, but I find peace knowing it's here."

"...good...point..." Heket paused, before touching her own throat and thinking for a few moments. "Would...Lamb....find....it for..me...?"

"A throat sac? Hmm..you can certainly try, sister."

Nodding in understanding, she turned and walked away, eager to ask Lamb if they were willing to recover what she had lost within Anura.

Once she was gone, you tapped Leshy on the arm. "Can you help me get the fertilizer for the plants? It's....kinda icky and really smelly."

He smiled as well, patting the top of your head. "Of course, little one. You can leave all the "icky" work to me."

And with that, you both set off to the farming plot, with him not being bothered by your presence anymore.

[ashleyfableblack]

Queen Twilight fidgeted in annoyance. Lifting her hindleg she shook her hoof about. "I swear..." she kicked and huffed, craning her neck "there is somethi- What in Tartarus is tickling my frog?" EEP-!

Facing down your fears. All just part of a Queen's burden in The Eternal Courtship.

[boycritter]

hey love :3 did you know there's a part of a horse's hoof that's called the frog. and I think it's because its what they jump with. I have no scientific backing for the second part but I believe it wholeheartedly

THATS AWESOME. i love that. i love you :3

[granhairdo]

small horse rant

ok so listen horses are fucking wild anatomy wise like they are just pure stupidity and genius. like lets start with their legs because thas where everything gets weird. there legs are essentially one big giant tendon/ligament system and it’s WILD. you’ve got the suspensory ligament which runs down the back of the cannon bone and it basically holds the whole structure together and then you’ve got the deep digital flexor tendon whicht flexes the entire hoof and the superficial digital flexor tendon which is ALSO stretchy and flexy but it works higher up and their hooves SHIT!!!! ok. listen. a horses hoof isn’t just some big chunky toenail it’s literally the most over engineered foot you can imagine so im sure you know the hoof wall is keratin and it’s designed to bear weight and absorb shock but then you’ve got the frog and it acts like a shock absorber and pump for blood circulation because fun fact horses don’t have muscles below their knees or hocks. NO FUCKING MUSCLES it’s all tendons and ligaments and passive blood flow and if you mess up their hooves the whole system collapses because the hoof is basically their heart and lungs but for their legs. don’t even get me started on their backs. their backs are just as insane as their legs. you know how humans have a nice flexible spine with interlocking vertebrae? horses don’t have that fucking LUXURY. their thoracic and lumbar vertebrae are super rigid because they have to carry ALL THAT WEIGHT but at the same time there’s this tiny little strip of connective tissue called the nuchal ligament that runs from the base of their skull down to their withers and the nuchal ligament is basically another flexy bit for their neck and it helps them lift their head and move it around without needing a ton of muscle. and now lets talk about their digestive system because it’s FUCKING NUTS a horse’s stomach is like this tiny pathetic little sack that can only hold like 2-4 gallons of food at a time so they HAVE to eat constantly or their gut just shuts down and they die and their intestines are like 70 feet long. SEVENTY FUCKING FEET. all coiled up like a inside their belly. and the cecum is basically this big fermentation vat where all the magic happens. they can’t digest cellulose on their own because grass is basically wood so their cecum is like this fermentation chamber full of bacteria that break everything down for them. but if anything goes wrong with this system like a blockage or a gas buildup congratulations you have a colicky horse and you’re calling the vet at 3am walking your horse so they don’t twist (fun shit 🙃) but wait i haven’t even mentioned their fucking wild cardiovascular system!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! their heart is the size of a fucking volleyball and their spleen releases extra red blood cells when theyire running so they can oxygenate their muscles better and run faster which is fucking sick oh and their lungs are insane too. a horse can inhale and exhale like 12 gallons of air in a single breath when theyre running. TWELVE DAMN GALLONS. and their brain??? their brain is simultaneously the smartest and dumbest thing in existence. horses are prey animals so there whole brain is wired for flight. they can sense movement from like 300 feet away and they can hear your soul screaming before you even approach them but then they’ll get scared of a plastic bag that wasn’t there yesterday. their brains are also divided into like fight or flight mode and chill eating grass mode and there’s no inbetween. anyway i could literally go on for hours about this but the point is horses are fucking weird

[marinvolk]

Since grandmaster honorary queer man David Jenkins taught us all that things like genre and tone are apparently irrelevant now, I’d like to bless you all with my first ever attempt at writing fan fiction. I present to you:

The Night is Dark and Full of Muppets

Stede threw his arms up. “You can’t blame Izzy every time you smash something when you’re upset, Ed!”

“There’s a darkness inside me,” Ed said from the dining room table, glaring daggers at the broom handle lying in two pieces on the floor; he’d broken it against his knee when Stede had mentioned wanting to talk about his anger management issues. The broom had been in his hands because he’d been sweeping up a broken kettle, which he’d broken because it had been ‘giving him a funny look’. “Izzy won’t let me be Ed. He wants the Kraken. You wanted me to be Blackbeard. Remember when you said how fugly I looked without my beard?”

Stede rolled his eyes. “I did not say that. Come on, Ed.”

“Your eyes said it. They looked at me and said, ‘you look so fugly, not-Blackbeard.�� It’s Izzy’s fault I broke the broom.”

“Really, Ed? I don’t know if you remember, but we buried Izzy. It quite literally cannot be his fault—”

“Then it was Pop-Pop’s fault.”

Stede did a double take. “Who is Pop-Pop?”

“My fisherman dad. He and my fisherman brother—I never gave him a name because I never actually had a brother—took me in when I left you at the docks. For a time, I was happy again, loved, content.” Ed’s eyes watered. “I was Ed.”

Stede scoffed. “Ed, you were gone for a night.”

Ed banged his fist on the table. “I was Ed! Pop-Pop made me go get my leathers!” Ed sobbed. “Pop-Pop made me!”

Stede’s face crumpled into a very muppet-like expression. “What?”

“You just don’t want me to be Ed, do you? You think Blackbeard’s better! Pop-Pop told me to go do the only thing I was good at, so I had to go be Blackbeard again! It’s all your, Izzy’s, and Pop-Pop’s fault that I can’t be Ed!”

“I want you to be Ed, I just don’t like when you throw all our things at the wall!”

Ed snapped, “I wouldn’t throw things at the wall if they weren’t there when I get mad! Maybe we just need a maid!”

“Christ, Ed! We can’t afford a maid because we bought too much fishing equipment—”

They both stilled as lightning split the skies beyond the window of the shitty inn by the sea, darkness falling like a heavy shroud. The candles went out in a hissing puff.

Stede glanced to the door. “Do you hear that?”

Something on the porch. A footstep? No, something thumping. Strange. That had almost sounded like…

The door creaked open.

Silhouetted against the moonglow, a man stood clad in black. A seagull perched upon his shoulder with knowing, very hex-filled eyes.

A voice that sounded like someone was whispering cigarettes said, “The night is dark and full of muppets.”

Stede glanced at Ed. “That isn’t…?”

Ed swallowed, taking a step toward the door. “Izzy? Is that you, man? How? We buried you!”

“You took my ring. You took my cravat. You took my leg. You took my redemption arc. You took my family.” One gold-painted unicorn hoof slid forward as a familiar face loomed from the darkness. “Now, I’m taking it all back. Edward Teach—born on a beach—prepare to taste lead!”

Izzy whipped out an AK47 from the darkness. A maelstrom of bullets thundered through the inn, peppering Ed’s body until he was flailing back and forth like Kermit the Frog. Meanwhile, Stede hurled himself to the floor and scrambled under the table as Buttons shot laser beams from his beady seagull eyes, destroying the remnants of a porcelain vase that Ed had hurled against the wall only just the night before, when Stede had yawned too loudly for his liking.

The whisper-cigarette voice said, “Stede Bonnet, you fooken twat. Get up, muppet. We got a ship to catch.”

Stede crawled out from the table, staring up at Izzy with wide eyes. “What are you, oh, sea prince who was promised?”

“Me?” Izzy pulled out a pair of sunglasses, put them on, and said, “I’m the motherfooken unicorn.”

No, I will not be taking any critique, you media illiterate cretins. This is 100% plausible because DJ never actually said that seagulls in this universe can’t shoot laser beams from their eyes. Also, the fact that Izzy knows a song from the 1940s is in fact proof that he’s also a time traveler, therefore the AK47 is officially canon appropriate. In fact, this is so plausible—remember, genre and tone are no longer important—that it’s basically just the new ending.

[aperfectskullcle]

Canyou tell me horse facts I love horse facts

Hi ok :)

Hmm, Well there's a part in each hoof of a horse called a frog,its shaped like a triangle its just likein the top center i guess. But every time a horse takes a step, it pushes blood back up the horse's leg dso it actually kind of helps with circulation. On the ground, it expands and fills with blood. When it's picked up it thins and the blood goes back up towards the heart

Veins that help with the heart and breathing also run into the horses back legs, ummm, that might not be exactly the right like. thing. But the pony I had when i was little, she got hot a lot, her breathing would get fast and deep. So i would put two ice boots on both ofher back legs and that would make her cool down and her breathing go back to normal. So ummm yeah like i don't really.remember the whole technicaliTies of that but that's also a thing

Also horses like to eat bananas apples carrots and sour patch kids

[thewisaaaaad]

Hey did you want spoilers for what I'm calling "Scapegoat?"

@thedamnedlamb pretty sure you're interested.

ANYWAY here's a snippet of what i am writing.

(BTW lamb is refered to as "He/Him" here. It won't last long.)

(also its only "he/him" because only male woolly sheep have horns.)

A lamb was shoved towards a crudely hewn block of wood, a knife pointed at their back, a jagged axe waiting for them in front. Chains and manacals bound their hands and feet, reducing their movement to a slow, painful shuffle. It hurt to move, as it caused them to dig deeper into wounds that already had a year to fester. Around them? A crowd of other sheep, cheering, clapping, jeering at the one about to loose their head. “Eat shit, demon!” “You had us fooled for far too long!”“To think that was my son…” People they once called friends, neighbors, even family, now all crying out for his blood. It hadn’t been enough to lock him up for almost a year, all because his horns didn’t grow in right. “Death to bonehorns!” “Your time is up, Breno!” “Spill that damned lambs blood!” Suddenly a cloven foot slammed into his back, sending him headfirst onto the chopping block, his knees slamming into the cold stone dais. The executioner loomed above the defeated sheep menacingly, but did not yet ready its axe. The judges had to make their verdict first. Four massive figures loomed before him, staring down at the form forced to kneel before them by their own brother's hoof. The crowd got quiet, as they began to speak. “Before us stands the heretical sheep, chosen of the heretic.” The frog boomed, black blood leaking from its mouth as its eyes stared unimpressed at the disheveled sheep. He used to pray to her for aid with cooking, on his mother’s birthday. “With this sacrifice, we postpone the end by another year, and remove a wretched blight upon your community.” The squid gurgled, smug as it glared at said sacrifice. Did he find joy in their suffering? Is that why he was always so sickly? “The heretic who lies below will be condemned to eternal captivity, with their chosen dead.” The worm screeched, unseeing yet entirely aware of the meat that kneeled before them. They had a statue of him in the garden, old and covered in moss. He looked so much more grotesque up close. “And the Old Faith shall be preserved.” The spider chittered. It stared at him, almost… melancholy, about the child’s fate. How long had they known of his fate? Would they have intervened? He had no time to dwell, however. Heket gave the signal, and the crowd began to cheer once more. The axe hadn’t even risen yet, and they already celebrated his death. The axe rose. He could practically see the smile on his brothers face as they watched the deadly implement rise, exited to honer his gods with his own siblings flesh. He closed his eyes. He did not need to see what happens next. It swung down, and…

[ethereal-ineffability]

Hi tumblr, this is a complete list of every ingredient you need (minus rupees) to upgrade all armor pieces in Tears of the Kingdom to full. I saw them in lists per set/item, but that didn't scratch my "run around collecting all the things efficiently then upgrade everything all at once" AuDHD gamer itch so I did it myself. I spent 2 hours of my life organizing this list so I'm back from the dead to save hopefully at least a single person the trouble. :'D

-Special Plants-

Shock Fruit x9

Fire Fruit x9

Ice Fruit x9

Puffshroom x9

Dazzlefruit x60

Brightbloom Seeds x90

Giant Brightbloom Seeds x105

-Normal Plants-

Voltfruit x15

Mighty Banana x30

Swift Carrot x10

Acorn x30

-Mushrooms-

Sunshroom x15

Chillshroom x15

Zapshroom x15

Rushroom x39

Razorshroom x15

Silent Shroom x24

Bright Caps x15

-Flowers-

Warm Safflina x9

Cool Safflina x9

Electric Safflina x24

Mighty Thistle x9

Swift Violet x90

Blue Nightshade x24

Silent Princess x72

Sundelion x75

-Seafood-

Hyrule Bass x15

Hearty Bass x9

Voltfin Trout x30

Sizzlefin Trout x30

Chillfin Trout x30

Stealthfin Trout x30

Glowing Cave Fish x15

Sneaky River Snail x15

Razorclaw Crab x9

-Insects-

Energetic Rhino Beetle x9

Bladed Rhino Beetle x9

Thunderwing Butterfly x9

Summerwing Butterfly x15

Winterwing Butterfly x15

Smotherwing Butterfly x24

Electric Darner x15

Cold Darner x15

Warm Darner x21

Sunset Firefly x15

Deep Firefly x39

-Lizards/Frogs-

Hearty Lizard x5

Hightail Lizard x21

Fireproof Lizard x15

Sticky Lizard x24

Sticky Frog x30

Hot-Footed Frog x30

-Stones-

Opal x276

Ruby x121

Sapphire x121

Topaz x121

Diamond x27

Flint x367

Amber x565

Luminous Stone x450

Star Fragment x100

Fire Like Stone x15

Ice Like Stone x15

Shock Like Stone x15

-Zonai/Constructs-

Zonaite x150

Large Zonaite x180

Large Zonai Charge x114

Soldier Construct Horn x15

Soldier Construct II Horn x15

Soldier Construct III Horn x15

Soldier Construct IV Horn x15

Captain Construct I Horn x15

Captain Construct II Horn x15

Captain Construct III Horn x15

-Misc mobs-

Courser Bee Honey x15

Dark Clump x15

Chuchu Jelly x15

Red Chuchu Jelly x24

White Chuchu Jelly x24

Yellow Chuchu Jelly x33

Gibdo Wing x24

Gibdo Bone x50

Gibdo Guts x5

Molduga Jaw x9

Molduga Fin x5

Molduga Guts x23

Octorok Eyeball x6

Octorok Tentacle x5

Octo Balloon x5

-Keese/Aerocuda-

Aerocuda Eyes x42

Aerocuda Wings x48

Keese Eyeball x30

Keese Wings x33

Electric Keese Wing x15

Ice Keese Wing x39

Fire Keese Wing x45

-Bokoblins-

Bokoblin Horn x15

Blue Bokoblin Horn x15

Black Bokoblin Horn x15

Silver Bokoblin Horn x24

Bokoblin Guts x42

Bokoblin Fang x9

Boss Bokoblin Guts x9

Boss Bokoblin Horn x9

Blue Boss Bokoblin Horn x9

Black Boss Bokoblin Horn x9

Silver Boss Bokoblin Horn x9

-Moblins-

Moblin Guts x18

Moblin Horn x9

Moblin Fang x15

Blue Moblin Horn x15

Black Moblin Horn x15

Silver Moblin Horn x9

-Horriblins-

Horriblin Horn x15

Blue Horriblin Horn x15

Black Horriblin Horn x15

Horriblin Guts x39

-Lizalfos-

Lizalfos Horn x9

Lizalfos Tail x18

Lizalfos Talon x15

Black Lizalfos Horn x15

Silver Lizalfos Horn x9

Blue Lizalfos Horn x15

Blue Lizalfos Tail x15

Fire-Breath Lizalfos Horn x30

Fire-Breath Lizalfos Tail x48

Ice-Breath Lizalfos Horn x30

Ice-Breath Lizalfos Tail x54

Electric Lizalfos Horn x33

Electric Lizalfos Tail x54

-Hinox-

Hinox Toenail x15

Hinox Tooth x15

Hinox Guts x33

Black Hinox Horn x9

-Frox-

Frox Fang x9

Frox Fingernail x9

Obsidian Frox Fang x9

Blue-White Frox Fang x15

Frox Guts x18

-Lynels-

Lynel Guts x30

Lynel Hoof x15

Lynel Saber Horn x6

Lynel Mace Horn x6

Blue-Maned Lynel Saber Horn x9

Blue-Maned Lynel Mace Horn x9

White-Maned Lynel Saber Horn x18

White-Maned Lynel Mace Horn x18

-Gleeok-

Gleeok Electric Horn x15

Gleeok Flame Horn x15

Gleeok Frost Horn x15

Gleeok Wing x36

Gleeok Guts x18

-Dragon Parts-

Naydra's Scale x5

Naydra's Claw x3

Naydra's Fang x3

Naydra's Horn x5

Naydra's Spike x15

-

Farosh's Scale x3

Farosh's Claw x3

Farosh's Fang x3

Farosh's Horn x5

Farosh's Spike x15

-

Dinraal's Scale x3

Dinraal's Claw x3

Dinraal's Fang x3

Dinraal's Horn x5

Dinraal's Spike x15

-

Light Dragon's Scale x3

Light Dragon Claw x2

Light Dragon Fang x3

Light Dragon Horn x3

Light Dragon's Talon x1

[an0thergl1tch]

Orange side Headcanons/Theories :

*There is a lot of debate on what animal the orange side will represent however I had a few ideas in my head that I wanted to discuss while I was stuck in a doctor’s office. (Not sure if I’m accidentally stealing these from somewhere)

*Looking at facts, we know that Thomas has said he is hoping on posting parts 1 and 2 of the finale by the end of the year. (As quoted from reddit which is by no means a reliable source.) If by chance this does happen, and the orange side is introduced in either of these parts, then this tells us that the orange side will either be a Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpius, Sagittarius, or a Capricorn. Although it is quite possible that Thomas will wait until the later parts to introduce the character, or even leave the orange side as a cliff hanger in the finale, in which it is uncertain what zodiac sign the side is. However working with this information I have a few ideas

*Lets take a look at the animals the other sides seemingly represent. Patton is represented by the green frog, as seen in selfishness vs selflessness, Janus is represented by a snake, Roman is questionable however lion seems to fit and its come to a consensus he’s probably a lion, Virgil is a spider however has cat like tendencies, and Logan as said by Thomas is some sort of bird of prey. (Don’t quote me on that I swear I heard that somewhere.)

*Looking at these animals, I suspect that the orange side will either be some sort of hoofed land animal or bird of prey. Both Patton and Janus are semi aquatic and seem to be almost siblings traits much like how amphibians and reptiles are similar, and the orange side seems more related to Logan as per Logan’s outburst at the end of working through intrusive thoughts. Its also arguable that Roman and Virgil match up as they both mildly resemble felines.

*Taking some inspiration I have a few ideas as to what the orange side could represent :

*Scorpion theory : If per chance the orange side were a scorpio it could be possible that the character would be loosely inspired by a scorpion. Its been theorized that Logan and the upcoming orange side are either siblings or one in the same so its quite possible Thomas will give them birthdays in the same month. In this case if he were a scorpion he would match up with virgil, who is a fellow arachnid, however would be startling as its clear Virgil’s history with the dark sides are tense, and to have them as counterparts would be quite a twist as Virgil has been known as the side that doesn’t have a side (hogwarts episode). However considering anger and anxiety tend to build off one another they would be quite the theoretical power couple if they were to team up. Scorpions often hunt spiders which would indicate that the orange side has major influence over Virgil, however unlike shown Logan would actually have power over the orange side as scorpions are often the prey of predatory birds. Scorpions often symbolize death and rebirth, and are in some traditions seen as guardians of the underworld. They also symbolize resilience, self defense, and the ability to overcome challenges, which would fit with logans upcoming character arc.

*Ares Ram theory : It has been theorized that due to Ares stereotypes surrounding their natures that the orange side will be an Ares, so its possible that the orange side will resemble the ram. Ares are typically described as having great leadership skills, creativity, and bravery, however struggle either impulsivity and are quite stubborn. Along with this ares have a reputation to run hot, having a hot temper and can sometimes cause outbursts, along with being associated with the god of war (sound familiar?) Viewing the orange side as the ares symbol the ram does have its strengths. It is questionable as to how this animal connects with Logan, however it doesn’t connect with the other sides either. It seems to be its own separate entity, much like Virgil, and would make sense considering how disconnected Logan feels currently from the other sides. The ram symbolizes sacrifice, power, heroism, strength, courage, determination, and leadership. However with the previous traits of an ares this symbolism turns into rampant impulsive dictator with a savior complex, which honestly does fit with how the orange side could be characterized. Plus imagine a tall ass dude appearing with ram horns and hooves out of a blazing building, you would be fucking terrified.

*Goat theory : this builds off the idea that the orange side could be an aries or a capricorn, another horned animal is the goat. I personally enjoy this characterization as goats themselves act like children, and are quite hot headed and impulsive (plus the capricorn symbol is a sea goat.) The goat symbolizes greatness and excellence, and also represent strength, courage, and divinity. However connecting to its divinity the goat sometimes has ties with the occult, which would fit the fiery impression the orange side has made so far. Plus I think GOAT meaning greatest of all time would be kindof funny considering whoever this will be will definitely go on a power trip.

*Bull theory : Another horned animal. Personally I enjoy this one. Bulls symbolize unyielding strength, untamed power, and vitality. In popular culture however, bulls are often characterized as hot headed brutes with steam coming out of their ears (may I being up Logan quoting the seething fire from the clue movie.) Plus imagine him with a septum lmao.

*Crow theory : Going off the fact that Logan is theorized to be a bird of prey, the orange side also being a bird of prey also makes sense. Crows symbolize transformation, intelligence, rebirth, opportunity, however are also associated with death and considered messengers from the other side. They are also associated with impending doom and pestilence, as being related to the plague. (If this dude is wearing a plague doctor mask I WILL freak out.) Along with this crows are known to be troublemakers and quite mischievous and I have a feeling he would play a few tricks on the others.

*Vulture theory : Going also off the fact that Logan is theorized to be a bird of prey, a vulture seems like a good counterpart. Vultures symbolize death, rebirth, judgement, and are often associated with impending doom. Vultures are crafty and resilient, and strike when their prey is down. Although pretty harmless he will attack anyone who gets in his way or anyone who is vulnerable.

[bodrewritten]

Daughter of Discord Rewritten Chapter 22: My Love Is Alive

2:30 Pm / CW: descriptions of a meltdown, comfort. Stay tuned for a bonus chapter with an epic surprise. Read tags

When the young couple floated back to the ground, their lips were still locked. The world around them had returned to normal, save for the blizzard. Discord was standing up.

"okay ya crazy kids, come up for air!"

When the pair finally pulled away, Mothball was smiling like an idiot.

"Wow!"

His eyes spun in circles and hearts beat in his eyes. This made Screwball giggle. Her friends rushed to her side and embraced her.

"That was amazing!" Apple Blossom shouted.

"Heroic!" Cinnamon twist added.

"Cool!" Doodle palooza piped.

"Romantic!" Dinky sighed.

Autumn Glory lifted her head from below dinky. "Major league epic."

Dinky got off of her friend, giggling. "Whoopsie!."

"So you guys aren't mad at me?" Screwball asked hopefully.

"Yeah, w-well," maple Cinnamon said, putting his hoof to his bandaged head. "You s-seemed to learn y-y-your lesson."

Meanwhile, Mothball was twirling in circles, lost in the memory of the bliss he had just experienced.

"Uh oh," Apple Blossom chuckled. "Screwy, I think your kiss did more than save the world. You've made the poor boy all loopy!"

"like some sorta poison frog!" Cinnamon twist laughed.

The group laughed. Screwball broke their hug and walked over to her coltfriend. She put her hooves on his shoulders to stop him from falling over. Mothball then returned to his senses, only to get lost in her hypnotic swirls.

"I'm proud of you, Screwy."

They turned toward Twilight, who had her horn back.

"I guess I was wrong, you really didn't have to choose. Between loves, I mean." She immediately told spike to write it down.

Rarity dashed to hug her girlfriends, kissing rainbow dash passionately, the only warmth around the mare. She glanced towards Applejack, who only looked towards Autumn Glory. Applejack seemed withdrawn. It made Rarity feel distant again.

Mothball blushed nervously. "Grand duchess...I know I've done some bad things in the past, but I swear I'll be careful around ponies! I can become a vegetarian and live on chocolate!"

Twilight laughed. "You are pardoned, Mothball." She looked at screwball's family.

"I don't think you'll starve anytime soon."

The unicorn's mirth diminished when Discord stepped in front of her. Mothball shrunk under the draconequus' strict glare. His arms were folded and his face wore a frown. The changeling clung to Screwball for leverage. She gave him a reassuring squeeze.

Discord glanced between the two. Neither said anything for a long while. Then he sighed and extended his paw towards the changeling.

Mothball looked at it unsurely. He glanced at Screwball, who was grinning excitedly. She let go of him and nudged him toward Discord's paw. The prince gazed up at the draconequus. His face softened to one of happiness.

"put'er there, son!"

The changeling slowly raised his hoof and placed it in his paw. As soon as they made contact, Mothball felt a bolt of electricity and shook uncontrollably.

Discord started laughing and revealed the joybuzzer in his paw. He clutched he pulled the poor boy into a hug. The Pie family was laughing as well, as was Screwball. The others either giggled or just grinned in amusement.

Mothball looked at his marefriend in confusion.

Screwball chuckled as she patted him on the back. "that's his way of showing that he likes you!"

The changeling looked at the others. Cinnamon twist gave him a shrug.

"It's true."

"t'aint wrong."

"I still have the mark on my hoof."

Mothball then found himself snickering. He still didn't get it.

Screwball left Mothball and ran to her parents.

"Mom!"

The couple pulled away and opened their arms for their daughter. Fluttershy weeped at the sight of Zany.

"Oh, my baby!" she cried. "I thought I had lost you!"

"Our family," Discord sighed, "together at last!"

"Promise me we'll never split up again?"

The draconequus shook his head with a laugh. "Never."

Mothball smiled as the family embraced each other. He was happy that they were whole again, but it also made him sad. The changelings were the only family he had ever known. Now that he had left them, he had no one. He did not even have a place to live.

Then Fluttershy noticed Mothball. She was surprised to see him here, but given the fact that Discord had not vaporized him, she figured things were sorted out between them now. She reached out her hoof toward him. Mothball beamed as he took it and she pulled him in.

Pinkie Pie blew her nose in a handkerchief.

"It's so beautiful!" she cried.

Then she smiled suddenly. "Hey! Why the blizzard in summer?"

Crap.

Everyone looked onward to the horizon line, beyond the mountains. There, windigos raced towards the village.

Something was almost irreversiblly wrong in the relationships with the ponies if they hadn't begun to talk.

The bunkers opened, only to be met with walls of snow.

"Did we miss anything?" Cadence inquired. She had just arrived in ponyville. Princess Celestia and Luna took care of the diplomatic relations in Canterlot.

"quite a bit! Windigos across the mountains!"

The sky was a mourning grey, blistering cold, freezing the tips of their limbs. Crystalline ice formed on the surfaces of everything, sprinkled like glitter on the face of the scowling town.

"screwball, what is happening?"

"WINDIGOS ARE REAL?!" Screwball shouted to her mother! Her eyes were wide with shock.

Why wouldn't they be? They detected the war, drawn in by the bloodshed and now they galloped to consume everything in their sight.

"b-but everything is better now! This shouldn't be happening!" Rainbow dash exclaimed.

Rarity yelped as the wind picked up. Rainbow dash couldn't fly in this wind, not as well as she usually would. Her wings unfurled, but dash almost fell over.

"Applejack! Please! Go get her!"

Applejack stood still in fear, confusion, and...

Twilight tried to rally crowds of ponyville citizens back into their basement, but they screamed, hurling their worst at mothball.

"he did this!"

"spawn of evil!"

Mothball covered his ears. Everything felt like it was being pelted at him, making him angrier, more frustrated, unable to express anything out. Mothball grit his teeth and thrashed at anything, anything to release the steam building up, and The fire around him.

Shouting, yelling, screaming, screech, the blizzard of stinging, the ache in his exoskeleton, the aggravating, irritating tinging of their every breath, crack, shatter, thump, repeat, repeat repeat.

Mothball couldn't help but cry, couldn't help but push out every tear hoping the repeating screams of contempt just goes away. The dull ringing in his ears attempting to muffle everything never worked. Suddenly, he was scooped up and brought somewhere near silent. Still, like a water lily. He was tightly wound up like a little grub baby.

Mothball was under a weighted blanket, hugged tightly under pale yellow hooves.

Mothball's ears were covered with thick earmuffs. He wanted to talk, but Fluttershy spoke first.

"Screwball gets this way too. She's in her bubble right now. I know it might be difficult to talk right now, so if you need anything, just tap me. I'm right here"

He drove himself closer to her. The crowd was quieted down by the princess, cadence and Grand Duchess Twilight Sparkle.

"please, everypony, quiet down! Mothball is an ally! He's a part of the house Discord!" Twilight yelled, and the crowd screamed towards her their woes, the chill dripping from their faces unnoticed.

Cadence made them stand back, directing the crowd to speak one at a time.

"Cadence, I can't keep doing this, they won't listen!" Twilight turned up to her sister in law, ears pulled back.

"oh twily, they might never listen. But we have one chance to do our best. You're always great at that." Cadence noogied the Duchess' hair, and twilight smiled for the first time all day.

The crowd hushed when they saw this. Twilight addressed them directly. "Citizens of ponyville, mothball, the prince, no longer holds that royal title. He has been accepted by the family Discord, so why can't you accept him? He fought off the changeling queen, he and screwball defeated our enemies, he is an ally to the entire equestria."

The crowd talked amongst themselves while rainbow dash crawled towards rarity. The winds blew harder, an impending twister upon them. Rarity climbed into a ditch, safe in a pipe, and rainbow dash held up a wooden pallet, bringing it to cover the entrance. Applejack was attached to a tree, holding onto her hat as hard as she could.

"Applejack!" Rainbow dash yelped! "Dude, what are you doing?! Talk to me! We need to get to rarity!"

Applejack held onto her tree tight as a boa. "Nothing is wrong! Y'all leave me be, I'll get there when I do!"

"what are you talking about!? You haven't talked to rarity in two days! Something's up and you're leaving me out!

Rarity lifted her head. "Is this about the gala? Prince Blueblood? Applejack I can't fix what I did if you don't tell me how!"

"we don't gotta fix anything! I just wanna go back to how it was! I ain't got nothin' more to say!"

Rainbow dash had quite enough.

"DAMNIT, QUIT TAP DANCING AROUND THE CONVERSATION! THIS TORNADO WILL BEAT THE WITHERS OFF OF YOU IF YOU DONT TALK, AND I MIGHT JOIN IN!"

Rarity looked at her wife, tears streaming from her face the same way they did at twilight's first sleepover. The first time she thought about kissing her woman. She pleaded with her wet, shimmering eyes, salty tears freezing to her thick lashes. Applejack gulped and hid her face. The shame bubbled in her chest. Her hind hooves flew freely in the whipping wind, tearing away her hair ties.

"when you said you would never let Autumn Glory know about her dad, I felt like you didn't care how much it affects a pony! I felt like you intentionally ignored how much losing my parents damaged me!"

Rainbow dash looked in shock. Rarity looked with love.

"oh darling! Just let the words fall out!"

"you're my best girl! So's Dashie! I know you'd never hurt me on purpose, but I couldn't face how much you was hurtin' cuz I'd have to confront how I felt when i lost my parents!"

The storm died down, allowing some leverage for Applejack's hoof to hit the ground. She outstretched every limb like a lazy cat, adjusting every muscle to reach her wives. Finally, after torturous minutes, she found shelter in the large pipe.

Fluttershy sat next to discord to wait out the storm. He turned to his wife and nuzzled her nose. Mothball felt a bit embarrassed that they were being so sweet while he was right there.

"discord I have to say it. I thought that screwball wouldn't find love as easy as she did because of how hard it was for you to love and be loved in the beginning. I thought other ponies might think that she's too much."

Discord looked at her with drooping eyes.

"you don't still believe that, do you?"

Fluttershy kissed him. "You two are so easy to love. I'm glad the world knows that now. No, I don't."

Mothball cringed as they hugged and snuggled above him. He ran out to the blanket and out into the cold, starkly contrasting.

Mothball stood in behind Cadence to face the crowds. His chest was raised and chin held level. Just like Mantis taught him to face crowds.

The ponyville citizens kept their stare at him. Cadence pushed him forward, and before he knew it, twilight sparkle let him address the ponies.

"kingdom of ponyville, I implore thee to still thy tongue." He said in the changeling language, like queen Chrysalis did. "I cannot apologize for what my previous hive has done. You have every right to hold malice against them. But please, forgive me. I have experienced the life I can live with you, and I will use my powers to help out kingdom, if only you will let me into your hive. Together, we can be strong, and our friendship will be universal!"

Yikes. Twilight and Cadence looked at each other with wide eyes, lips pursed. Silent as a dead lamb.

...

One pony piped up from the crowd, "close enough!" Before they erupted into cheers.

The parties were happening all about the town, but most vibrant in the park. Rarity sold more in ponyville than ever before. As did Pinkie. Rainbow dash played in the sky, taking her wives up high as she could, doing anything just for fun. Twilight danced and didn't care who saw, telling everypony what constellations she recognized. (All of them.) Rarity set up a date to allow Autumn Glory and her other foals to meet their father, and told them what to expect. Applejack supported her the whole way.

The war was over, and the storm was dying down. Ponies enthusiastically hugged their heroes, swapped stories of survival, and played through the night. A party with lanterns and fairy lights illuminated the starry sky. All was warm and bright. They could sleep in the day, work even later, but for now, nothing kept the citizens away from eachother

Under a string of pink and blue lights, twilight found Princess Celestia, chatting away with her guard near the banquet.

"and make sure none of them are white. I cannot see the- Twilight!" Celestia smiled at her, unapologetically showing her teeth.

Twilight hugged her and she took the unicorn under her wing.

"you have proven yourself more than capable of your royal position, and much more. You are the biggest mark on history I have ever witnessed."

Twilight nearly cried. huge, wet eyes met Celestia's. She chuckled and pat her student's head.

"consider yourself graduated from my mentorship. You... Are ready."

Twilight was barely able to comprehend that statement before Celestia brought her to her magical alicorn-creating void between universes. Idk man I'm ready to end this series.

Discord and Fluttershy walked to an empty area of the park. Their time alone together was long overdue and the first thing they did was share a passionate kiss.

"I never should have doubted you," Discord said. "I should have known you would never betray me." He chuckled nervously. "I'm such a nutcase."

Fluttershy smiled. "It's alright. We have everything in order now.." She glanced back at the party. "Are you alright with Screwball's coltfriend?"

Discord cringed. "I've been meaning to tell you"

Fluttershy gulped. He seemed so approving bef-

"Fluttershy, he has no place to stay can we please-"

Fluttershy practically deflated. "Discord, you big softie,he can stay with us as long as he needs to."

Discord scooped her up and she blushed a deep color. He kissed her all along her face.

Screwball and mothball, meanwhile, drank punch on the sidelines.

"shall we tell them that everypony can see them kissing?" Mothball said, not looking at his fillyfriend.

"jeez, 16 years and they still act like a couple'a teenagers!"

"that does not seem entirely distasteful. At least you know they love each other!"

"you wanna talk distasteful? Try sleeping down the hall from em."

Mothball stared blankly into the distance. "Glad I do not live with you!" And they laughed at once!

Discord appeared right next to them instantly!

"great news kid! You're living with us! Don't try getting out of it!

Mothball was stunned. He wanted to thank the man and his wife, shake his hoof, but something felt like he wouldn't know peace for the rest of his life.

As he agreed and hugged his girlfriend's family, he felt that he could live with that.

"Aw, Daddy!"

He looked up and saw Screwball hovering above him

Screwball floated down and hugged her father around his neck.

"I'll always be your little girl," she declared.

Discord smiled and wrapped his arms around the filly. No matter what would happen, no matter how big she would get, she would always be his daughter Screwball, and he would always be there for her.

For he was her Daddy Discord.

[violettesiren]

1.

Don't bother me. I've just been born.

2.

The butterfly's loping flight carries it through the country of the leaves delicately, and well enough to get it where it wants to go, wherever that is, stopping here and there to fuzzle the damp throats of flowers and the the black mud; up and down it swings, frenzied and aimless; and sometimes

for long delicious moments it is perfectly lazy, riding motionless in the breeze on the soft stalk of some ordinary flower.

3.

The god of dirt came up to me many times and said so many wise and delectable things, I lay on the grass listening to his dog voice, crow voice, frog voice: now, he said, and now, and never once mentioned forever,

4.

which has nevertheless always been, like a sharp iron hoof, at the center of my mind.

5.

One or two things are all you need to travel over the blue pond, over the deep roughage of the trees and through the stiff flowers of lightning-some deep memory of pleasure, some cutting knowledge of pain.

6.

But to lift the hoof! For that you need an idea.

7.

For years and years I struggled just to love my life. And then

the butterfly rose, weightless, in the wind. "Don't love your life too much," it said,

and vanished into the world.

One Or Two Things by Mary Oliver