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wellnesswisp · 9 months ago

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Tips to Balance and Improve Your Well-Being

Finding balance and improving health can seem like a daunting task. However, with the right approach and a few simple strategies, you can embark on a journey toward greater well-being. Here are some practical tips to help you find balance and enhance your overall health.

Prioritize Self-Care: It's easy to get caught up in the demands of daily life, but taking time for yourself is essential for maintaining balance and good health. Whether it’s practicing mindfulness, indulging in a hobby, or simply taking a leisurely walk, prioritize self-care activities that rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit.

Find the way to balance and improve your health!

Eat a Balanced Diet: Fueling your body with nutritious foods is key to maintaining optimal health. Aim to include a variety of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats in your diet. Avoid processed foods and excessive sugar, and opt for homemade meals whenever possible. Remember, small changes can lead to significant improvements in your overall health.

Stay Active: Regular physical activity is crucial for both physical and mental well-being. Find activities that you enjoy, whether it’s going for a bike ride, practicing yoga, or dancing to your favorite music. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week to keep your body strong and your mind sharp.

Get Adequate Sleep: Quality sleep is essential for overall health and vitality. Aim for 7-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night to allow your body to rest and recharge. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine and create a sleep-friendly environment by keeping your bedroom dark, quiet, and comfortable.

Manage Stress: Chronic stress can have a negative impact on both physical and mental health. Find healthy ways to manage stress, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or spending time in nature. It’s also important to identify sources of stress in your life and take steps to address them, whether it’s through time management, setting boundaries, or seeking support from loved ones.

Find the way to balance and improve your health!

Stay Hydrated: Drinking an adequate amount of water is essential for maintaining proper bodily functions and promoting overall health. Aim to drink at least 8 glasses of water per day, and more if you’re physically active or in hot weather. Keep a reusable water bottle with you throughout the day to remind yourself to stay hydrated.

Connect with Others: Building and maintaining strong social connections is vital for overall well-being. Spend time with friends and family, engage in meaningful conversations, and participate in social activities that bring you joy. Cultivating positive relationships can provide support, reduce feelings of loneliness, and improve overall happiness.

Practice Gratitude: Focusing on the positive aspects of life can help shift your mindset and improve your overall outlook. Take time each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for, whether it’s a beautiful sunset, a kind gesture from a friend, or a delicious meal. Practicing gratitude can help reduce stress, increase resilience, and enhance overall life satisfaction.

Find the way to balance and improve your health!

In conclusion, finding balance and improving your health is a journey that requires patience, consistency, and self-awareness. By prioritizing self-care, nourishing your body with nutritious foods, staying active, getting adequate sleep, managing stress, staying hydrated, connecting with others, and practicing gratitude, you can create a healthier and more fulfilling life. Remember, small changes can lead to big results, so start incorporating these tips into your daily routine today.

Affiliate Disclaimer: This blog may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you.

#health and wellness #healthcare #weight loss diet #active lifestyle #sleeping #stress #stay hydrated

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oneboxofmatches · 3 years ago

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I hope it's okay to ask for a HP romantic and friend matchup from the golden trio era and possibly romantic for marauders (please don't feel like you have to do the marauders one too if it's too much. I definitely don't want to stress you).

My pronouns are she/her and my romantic preference would be for a guy. I'm 5'4 and my style usually lingers somewhere between feminine, preppy, and "basic". I do think it's important to put at least some level of effort into my appearance.

My HP house is Ravenclaw (second highest Slytherin) and my enneagram is 1w2 (with 3 as a very close second top number)

I'm a super hardworking and ambitious person (sometimes at the expense of my own mental health and wellness). It's important to me to be able to work towards my goals and be with someone who has goals of their own. I'd get frustrated by someone who never knows when to take things seriously. I have a tendency to stress myself out sometimes and often let my stress bottle up. Cleaning/organizing and baking always help me feel centered and reduce my stress when I feel like I'm freaking out a bit. I tend to also be a little bit of a control freak on occasion in everyday life.

I can be a bit reserved when it comes to meeting new people, but when I'm around my close friends and family, I'm more open and talkative. I don't feel the need to force conversation though and can enjoy time around people just by doing our own thing next to each other and relaxing in each other's company. My friends and family are really important to me and I always try to be reliable and there for them whenever they need support.

When it comes to hobbies, I enjoy reading, watching tv/movies, cross stitch, and shopping. I used to be on a dance drill team and have continued doing yoga to keep up my flexibility because it helps me feel healthy. My favorite genres in books, movies, tv shows, etc. are romance and mystery, but I especially love when something has a big plot twist or is really thought provoking so that I can discuss it with someone I know. I also tend to be a romantic. I'm not really an outdoorsy person though and don't enjoy things like camping and hiking a ton.

When it comes to my idea of a perfect date it would probably be something pretty classic like going out to a nice dinner. I do enjoy getting dressed up and doing something fancy. Though, I'd also enjoy something like going to a carnival or festival together and just enjoying each other's company for a day. The most important thing is just spending time and connecting with the person I care about. My love languages are quality time and physical touch. It's simple, but I think it's super sweet just walking down the street and holding hands with someone. I also think it's nice when someone is taller than me so I can lean my head on their arm or shoulder while we stand next to each other (this sounds cheesy haha).

Goodness this came out so long, but I hope it's okay. Thanks so much for doing this!

This was amazing and no problem at all, thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

You value hard work. Cedric is by no means a stranger to hard work. Getting paired together for a project is the most likely way you two realized just how much you can accomplish together.

While Cedric realizes the importance of his schooling and the high piles of work that come with it, he also recognizes that maintaining a balance between “work” and “play” is the secret to a healthy, manageable life. He admires your work ethic (and supports your goals 100%), but he’s also the first to advise taking a step back when the world starts asking too much of you.

It’s because Cedric has the utmost respect for you that he doesn’t just outright dismiss your outbursts that occur whenever he’s attempting to get you to relax for a moment. He makes sure you know that he finds both the work you’re doing as well as your mental health important, and all he wants to do is help you find that middle ground where you don’t have to sacrifice either one.

Learning that you already have ways to cope with stress (cleaning, organizing, baking) eases his mind, and he even uses this information to his benefit. He knows that suggesting one of these activities as an alternative to partaking in any stressful work environment you’ve found yourself in betters the chances of you taking a well-deserved break.

Aside from actual dates, it’s these little breaks where the two of you spend the most quality time together. In terms of conversation, things can range from talking lightly about your days, taking on a vulnerable tone for more personal topics, or even just a silence that sits comfortably between you while you work.

Also, it’s almost surprising how much Cedric loves watching mystery TV shows and movies with you. It’s not necessarily something he would’ve found himself doing otherwise, but he loves having someone to share the massive surprise that comes with a major plot twist. After the screen goes dark, you two can find yourselves discussing what you just watched for hours without growing bored.

As for the traditional dates, you can bet that Cedric is up for both dressing up for a nice restaurant or taking the more casual route by going to a carnival. The variety not only keeps your relationship interesting, but it proves that the location really doesn’t matter -- you enjoy yourselves and feel just as strongly for each other no matter what.

Overall, the mutual respect and dedication between you and Cedric create the ultimate power couple dynamic. Alone you can accomplish many things, but together the possibilities are endless. But at the end of a long day, it becomes clear that having each other is all that really matters.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

DRACO MALFOY

Don’t be fooled. Before this friendship was anywhere near friendly, you and Draco made up one of the most competitive duos Hogwarts has ever seen. Your high work ethic and his constant need to be recognized as a great wizard clashed, and Draco was found applying himself to his work like he never had before.

It probably took you two being forced to work together to realize you (surprise!!!) actually make a pretty good team.

The sudden burst of motivation Draco found while competing against you stays after you become friends, and you’re the one who teaches him how to use this newfound ethic more efficiently. He recognizes that you taking a break from your own work to give him these helpful pointers is a big deal, and though he doesn’t say it, he’s grateful.

Whenever he isn’t off trying to impress someone or make sure his name remains respected, he’s often in the library with you, working away. You don’t talk much, though the question “How are things?” serves as a solid conversation started for the times when the work you’re doing doesn’t need to be rushed.

You both come to find that you value the other’s opinion on many things. Both schoolwork and social matters are things you bring up with the other, and advice-giving (yes, Draco can give advice when he feels like it) becomes a common theme.

Support becomes a key part of your friendship. Draco makes sure you take care of yourself and you make sure he knows he’s more than just his last name. Rumors of his family’s involvement in certain affairs aren’t exactly rare, and while you don’t force him to open up, you make a point to remind him time after time that he has the power to choose his own destiny.

And when he does finally open up to you in private, your opinion of him doesn’t change in the slightest. You reassure him of this, explaining that whatever he needs, you’re there for him. You realize you can’t do much to change his situation, but you know that simply being a loyal friend through all this might be just what he needs.

Overall, you and Draco hold each other in very high regard, and though you bring different perspectives to the table, you realize you’re willing to help each other in any way you can.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Remus understands you find his friends annoying. He finds them annoying. But seeing you sit through one of their worst hyperactive, downright ridiculous episodes just so you could spend time with him while knowing you can get fed up with people who have a hard time taking anything seriously demonstrated that you were committed to your relationship and were willing to accommodate whoever he hung out with.

As someone who outworks over ¾ the school, Remus is a master at recognizing the early stages of burnout. Whenever he sees it in you, he’ll take on a softer tone and gently ask if you’d like to direct your attention elsewhere for a while and return to work at a later time.

You often work in the same room as each other, taking solace in the gentle quiet you two can find if you get lucky enough to find such a spot. While you both enjoy the peaceful, intimate conversations that usually come at the end of a long day, you are also content with saving that for later and using the time at hand to focus on schooling.

The complexity of your conversations (whether it be about the latest book you both read, a recent assignment from a shared class, or one of life’s mysteries) is much higher than that of the average couple. With the level of thought you two are already capable of, you challenge each other by exploring new ways of thinking together.

Remus can be quite the romantic when he wants to be. Respectful, yet simple gestures (such as opening a door for you) are a given, but he also loves little signs of affection such as holding your hand as you walk through Hogsmeade. He revels in the feeling of being close to you, and don’t be surprised if he gives your hand a gentle squeeze once in a while.

Overall, not only do you and Remus unlock new levels of thought and productivity, but you also have a pure, sweet love for each other that is timeless.

#matchups #fandom matchups #harry potter matchup #harry potter #cedric diggory #draco malfoy #remus lupin

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oztrekk · 4 years ago

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Quarantine in Australia: Staying in the hotel

Hi again, everyone! My name is Radka and I’m in my second year at the University of Melbourne Dental School. I was fortunate enough to receive a travel exemption to travel back to Australia in order to complete my degree (you can read more about my experience flying back to Australia during COVID here!).

Once I found out that I had to complete a 14-day mandatory quarantine, I began scouring the internet for anything to help me prepare for my upcoming mission. Unfortunately, the material I found on the web was scarce and often depicted a rather negative experience.

Now, if it is of any consolation to you, I would like to let you know that quarantine is in fact not as bad as you may read about it being and I actually had a very pleasant experience. If you are going to be quarantining or if you are just a little curious then please keep reading!

My Hotel Room After arriving in Sydney, I was taken to the Sydney Harbour Marriott Hotel. My room was just your regular clean hotel room, complete with a queen bed, a desk, a sofa, a clean bathroom, and a fantastic view (I got really lucky with the view!). There was also a kettle to use for your coffee, tea, or soups, and a mini fridge to store extra food or water. There was also a hotel laundry service; however, that came with a fee of $35.

Tip: Pack lots of extra comfy clothes so you don’t have to worry about doing laundry. Or, if you would like to hand wash your clothes, consider packing a small amount of laundry detergent.

The hotel staff also brought by fresh towels and extra toiletries halfway through quarantine, so don’t fret because you in fact do not need to ration your toilet paper or clean towels! Of course, regular guest hotel services were available 24/7 with just a quick phone call to reception, so don’t be afraid to request whatever you may need. I ran out of toothpaste on day 3 of my stay and when I requested some from the guest services, they delivered a few tubes to my door.

The Food Before you check into your hotel room, the hotel staff will give you a form as ask you to identify any dietary restrictions, preferences, or allergies.

Breakfast was scheduled to arrive between 7 and 9 a.m., but it consistently arrived around 7:30 a.m. at my room.

Tip: Set an alarm to get out of bed to collect your breakfast around 7 a.m. so you don’t miss it!

Breakfast usually consisted of a bag of cereal (cornflakes, Kellogg’s All-Bran, Sultana Bran), a carton of milk, yogurt, and a cold fruit juice. Sometimes we would also have bagels with cream cheese and smoked salmon or some banana bread. All very delicious and very filling versions of breakfast!

Lunch would arrive around noon. This was by far my favourite meal of the day during quarantine. Lunch usually consisted of a colourful salad with some sort of protein (smoked salmon, chicken, beef), bread with butter, and a fruit. Since the breakfasts were very filling, I was never hungry for lunch… but I ate anyway. The odd time we had warm lunches, such as pad Thai, rice and chicken, or a delicious meat pie with mashed green peas.

Dinners were delicious as well, but not quite as good as the lunches, in my opinion. I had lamb with potatoes and baked carrots, steak with veggies and mashed potatoes, chicken parmigiana, and lots of different meals with fish and pasta! Dinner was served anywhere from 7 to 9 p.m., but most of my dinners arrived consistently around 7 p.m. Our dinners always included bread and butter, some sort of fruit, dessert, and a big, cold bottle of water.

Unfortunately, I did not enjoy most of the desserts. Sometimes we were given lemon tarts and apple tarts and those were my absolute favourite! Other times we were given small cakes and I did not enjoy those as much.

Tip: Bring lots of pre-packaged snacks because you might get bored or you might not like the snacks delivered with meals.

On my very last day of quarantine, the staff delivered a generous slice of red velvet cake to congratulate me on completing my 14-day quarantine. I thought that this was a very kind gesture and was a great way to end off my quarantine! (Unfortunately, my friends quarantining over at the Four Seasons did not get a farewell cake.)

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised with how healthy and nutritious the meals were; however, I recommend packing some vitamin D supplements because the one thing your body will be deficient in during quarantine is sunlight access!

When I was craving something different, there were plenty of food delivery services available. My go-to is always Uber Eats, and thankfully my favourite treat (“Poke Bowls” from Poked) was near the hotel, so I ordered them a few times. I also gave the in-room dining menu a try and ordered a pizza. The hotel’s in-room dining prices have been reduced 30% for the quarantining guests to enjoy, so hopefully your hotel will offer you some sweet discounts as well!

The Drinks I was worried about how much water I would be provided, but thankfully I received plenty of water. I was given one bottle of cold water with every dinner. However, I recommend keeping the water bottles and refilling them with water and storing them in your fridge (this way you will always have cold, refreshing water available).

The hotel room was equipped with a kettle, a mini fridge, and the drawers were stalked up with lots of instant coffee and tea. The instant coffee did get a little boring after a few days, but thankfully a flat white was just one phone call away to Guest Services. It was $5 for a small coffee from the hotel but as soon as you order it they bring it up to your room with the receipt 🙂

If alcohol is something you would fancy, (Quarantininis, anyone?) the in-room dining menu served alcohol until 9 p.m. There were also alcohol delivery options available through third-party restaurants.

Staying busy This is very important because I am sure we can all agree that 14 days is a looong time! Thankfully, time flew by because I made sure to bring all my favourite hobbies with me. I love knitting so I made sure to pack lots of yarn for my quarantine. I also really enjoy sketching and so I would sketch on my iPad. I am a sucker for Australian reality TV too, so I binged watched the latest Married At First Sight (PS: lots of drama) and other fun shows on the 9now website.

Tip: Pack an HDMI cable to watch your favourite things on the hotel TV. You can only watch so many shows on Netflix sideways in bed!

I also spent half my day talking to loved ones back home on FaceTime and having daily workout sessions with my friend group back in Canada! Speaking of exercising, try to move around as much as possible. It’s so easy to spend the whole day sitting down, but I set alarms on my phone to remind me to get moving in any way possible.

Tip: When you are on the phone with your family and friends or listening to podcasts, try pacing up and down the room rather than sitting in a chair.

And don’t worry if you don’t have any hobbies or you cannot physically bring your hobbies with you during quarantine. You can use this time to learn something new!

COVID-19 Testing The hotel nurses will knock on your door on Day 3 and Day 10 to conduct mandatory COVID tests. At the end of my stay a doctor and an officer knocked on my door to provide me with a certificate that stated that I had tested negative for COVID-19. You will need to keep these documents with you because the hotel staff will ask to see them on the day of your check-out. The doctor also provided me with a bracelet that said “COVID19 NSW SATURDAY.” I assumed this was so hotel and airport staff would know that I had completed my quarantine.

The nurses will also call you daily to check up on your physical health and your mental health status. The nurses are very friendly and want to help you, so don’t hesitate to talk to them and tell them how you’re feeling. If you become sick or require medical help at any point during your quarantine stay, there are doctors and nurses available 24/7 to provide you with medical assistance.

Final Thoughts Overall, my quarantine experience was pleasant (believe it or not). I love to relax and I really value my “me time,” so I approached quarantine as an opportunity to enjoy lots of relaxation.

With all that being said, I encourage you to sit back, relax, and try your best to enjoy your two weeks with a cleared schedule, no alarms, no appointments, and no daily obligations. Embrace your time off my friends and really, really try to make the most of it! Your quarantine experience may be a story you will be telling for the rest of your life, so why not make it a pleasant one to tell your great grandchildren!

Take care everyone and thanks for your time! 🙂

Sincerely, Radka

#covid quarantine #australia quarantine #study in australia #university of melbourne students #hotel quarantine

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happyacademia · 6 years ago

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Includes: tips, resources, and step-by-step advice!

When I say I’ve been dealing with school-induced anxiety throughout my whole academic career, I’m really being serious - my parents told me I used to ask them all the time if it was difficult to learn how to read and write, and worry if I’d ever get the hang of it like my older sister had done. Soon enough I started stressing about homework, exams and extracurricular activities, and it hasn’t changed much since, but I learned how to overcome it.

I admit I get good grades, and the reason I work so hard it is because I worry about my future. Therefore, being concerned about your performance is a crucial part of succeeding, but once that concern turns into obsession and something that often overwhelms you, it means that it’s become something unhealthy - and that is what’s going to damage your performance. This kind of anxiety has become a big thing not only among college students but also the younger ones, who are still struggling to graduate and get into university, and unfortunately, most don’t know how to manage it.

Anxiety and stress can lead to major health problems such as depression, fatigue and many behavioral, sleeping, respiratory and mood issues. Personally, I’ve been dealing with insomnia, mood swings, chronic migraines and some other things due to school-induced anxiety and stress, but thankfully I’ve been feeling much better once I decided to do something about it and care more for my well-being by building new healthy habits and getting rid of bad ones.

Today’s education system still has a lot to improve and we do need desperately to talk more about mental health in schools, but for now, l’d like to share some tips that have personally helped me how to stay on my feet and keep my head held up high despite the many bumps on the road.

Keep organized all year long

The one thing that will save you that one week filled with deadlines and exams is your level of organization. How do you store your notes, scored past exams and completed exercises? These are crucial during a revision session, and if they’re not in hand once it’s time for that, it can further worsen your mood. Having everything in place for when you need it will make you feel in control, which is exactly how you want to feel. Here’s a few steps to help you putting everything in their rightful place:

Keep a thin plastic folder on your bag, and whenever you’re given a sheet, place it inside the folder at the end of the class.

Once you get home, organize all the sheets inside the folder. You can do it every other day or every weekend if it’s troublesome to do it every day. If you use a binder for the corresponding class, place it there. If you use a notebook and don’t like gluing papers onto the pages, consider buying one of those thick folders with multiple compartments - this way, you can place the sheet in the class’ compartment and find it easily once you need it.

Regularly throw away papers you don’t need anymore - having useless stuff around might cause even more stress.

Have a space in your room which is exclusive for your books, binders/notebooks and all other school material so you always know where to put things and where to find them.

I want to stress the importance of a pencil case - it might seem like silly remainder, but I know a lot of people who just don’t have them. It doesn’t need to be fancy; some of my friends use ziplock bags as pencil cases, and they work just fine. It just helps you keep your pens, pencils, highlighters and whatever else you need in one place.

Keep up with your calendar

This is like the second part of the whole “keep organized” tip. I seriously can’t stress this enough. Dates are important; please keep track of them. The best way to do so is by having a calendar on your wall and a planner with you all day.

Again, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I’ll have some free printables of calendars and planner pages below, but you can make your own monthly calendar out of a A4 sheet (which is what I usually do), and you can find some pretty cheap planners out there.

Just to make sure it’s clear, I’m talking about planners, not bullet journals. While bullet journals are great to keep up with tasks and such as well, the advantage of planners is that you can write down things that will happen in weeks by turning a few pages since the dates are already printed for you. While you can write down reminders in the bullet journal, you might forget to check later, while the planner will remind you once you get there. The calendar on the wall is also a great way to keep up with reminders.

Like mentioned above, even though it’s not essential, keeping a bullet journal is an awesome hobby, and can be a really good friend if you’re serious about boosting your productivity and keeping up with daily tasks. I’ll leave some in-depth posts about it below as well!

Remember to write down everything on your planner: when your homework/essay/project is due, the date of your test, any holidays, etc. It will be super helpful once you need to plan your study schedule before a exam season.

If you prefer having an app that can do that for you, I highly recommend the My Study Life app.

Resources:

emmastudies' 2019 yearly calendar printables

emmastudies' 2019 monthly calendar printables

emmastudies' weekly planner printable

studydiaryofamedstudent's printables (habit tracker, weekly planner, meal planner, month planner)

jackiejapalture's exam study kit printables (exam schedule, finals week schedule, weekly planner, essay planner, definitions sheet, notes sheet)

bullet journal tutorial by studypetals

Exercise

You don’t have to lift heavy weights or run a marathon, and you don’t have to exercise every day either. Try to exercise three days a week, the way you like the most. Exercising is an extremely efficient way of releasing stress and maintaining a body that is body healthy physically and mentally. If done in the morning or before a study session, it can even improve your concentration.

You can go on walks outside! Create a playlist with your favorite songs, put on some comfy sneakers and just go. It can actually be quite pleasant and not difficult at all.

You can enroll on a gym if you don’t like walking outside, and maybe even ask a friend or a family member to start going with you if you don’t like being on your own.

If neither of those ideas sound appealing to you, you can try doing some home exercises. There are plenty of easy workout videos for you to follow online. These include pilates, yoga, but also some pretty intense bodyweight and cardio ones.

Yoga is one of the best physical ways to release stress. I don’t do it regularly but my sister convinced me to try it a few times and it’s amazing. There are a bunch of yoga videos online, such as morning and bedtime routines, that have really helped me start the day in a good mood or manage to help me sleep once it’s over. There are some that are even targeted to when you’re feeling very anxious or stressed.

Resources:

Yoga for anxiety and stress

Yoga for bedtime

Total body stretch

Apartment-friendly cardio workout

Eat healthy

Eating healthy doesn’t mean you have to go on a diet or try to lose weight. I know plenty of people that are quite thin or don’t really want to lose weight, but who eat really crappy food. Eating bad food can have several bad side effects other than making you gain weight, such as acne, low energy, mood swings, insomnia, and many other things. That doesn’t mean you can’t eat that cookie daily, but eating processed food for every meal definitely won’t do you good on the long run. Here are some practical tips:

Try to have lots of veggies with at least one of your meals

Try leaving junk food and soft drinks exclusively to the weekend

Eat your favorite fruits for snacks

Sometimes buying your breakfast instead of making it when you “don't have the time” it’s even more time consuming; I’ll leave some really good and ridiculously easy recipes bellow!

12 healthy smoothies

5 lazy, quick & healthy meal recipes (vegan)

5 healthy lunch ideas for school & work

Drink water

Again, so important! Keeping your body hydrated has so many advantages, especially when it comes to your mood. You need to replace the huge amounts of water you lose everyday by drinking it all back, and help maintain the balance of body fluids - they’re responsible for things such as digestion and transportation of nutrients. And so, drinking water can help you relieve fatigue, keep concentrated and think more clearly, which are essential things for a student.

It can be hard if you’re not used to it, so you can start small, with 1 liter (33 oz).

Try to slowly increase you intake to 2 liters (which is about eight 8-ounce glasses of water, and hence why people say you should drink about 8 glasses of water per day)

Measuring the quantity in glasses can be quite troublesome sometimes throughout the day, so what I like doing is bringing my water bottle everywhere. I have a 600ml bottle and my goal is to drink 3 liters daily, so I have to drink 5 bottles.

To keep on track and remember how much I’ve already drank, I use the Drink Water app. It’s really simple to use, and you can adjust your goal accordingly! I'm not sure if it's available for Android, but you can easily find similar apps for any phone!

Communication

If you think you need it, please open up about what’s been going through your mind to someone you trust. If you don’t feel like talking to a family member of friend, look for a teacher you trust at school. You can even search for your school’s psychologist - most have it, and they’re generally the nicest people out there, and would be very happy to hear what you have to say and give really good advice.

Finally, please consider seeking professional help. Therapy really does help; talking out loud with a professional who knows exactly what to do to help you will certainly be a good option. When my anxiety was really bad, I used to go to a psychologist weekly and she helped me made the right decisions and keep going! I don’t need her assistance anymore, but I’ll always be grateful for her help, and proud of myself for deciding to keep visiting her even when I didn’t feel like it.

Resources:

International helplines

Take a break

Sometimes the healthiest way to put yourself back together is taking a few steps back and letting go for a while. Maybe a day. Maybe an entire weekend! Take the time to read a book, hang out with your friends, binge-watch your favorite TV show... the ideas are endless. Just don't do anything school-related.

Of course, if you're near exam season this would be hard, but if you keep organized all year long, I'm sure an opportunity will arise - to take it!

Keep going!

Never forget that you can do it! No matter how difficult it seems, you can always keep going as long as you’re not overworking yourself and seeking unhealthy coping mechanisms. By keeping organized and taking care of your health, you’ll see that your daily routine will become easier and your mind will clear up, so don’t give up!

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

#studyblr #studyspo #study #study tips #self care #mental health #masterpost #advice #studying #college #appblr #students #inspiration #motivation #organization #original #happyacademia

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optomstudies · 7 years ago

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bullet journal ideas masterpost

Over 250+ spread ideas!🎊

hoping your dreams are fulfilled, your grades are awesome and your skin is glowing in 2018!

my tips for bullet journalling

Year in Review

highlights / reflection

achievements this year

lessons learnt / growth as a person

things you want to improve on

advice you’ve received / given

best music/movies/tv shows/etc of the past year

friends made during this past year

commonplace journal pages

things you’ve discovered during the past year

useful tips during the past year

odd facts and trivia during the past year

topics to explore during the past year

questions to ask during the past year

New Year, New You

calendar / future log / yearly or monthly logs

things to look forward to this year

upcoming books/music/movies/tv shows being released this year

maslow’s hierarchy of needs self-reflection spread

goals / new year’s resolutions + steps to put it into action

skills you want to learn this year e.g. coding

habits you want to break / habits you want to pick up

diary: day-to-day happenings

budgets: monthly/yearly budgets

inspiration spread for new projects

level 10 life: rate areas (academic, personal, mental, physical, spiritual, social, financial) of your life out of 10, and write down goals to improve that rating!

monthly overviews (e.g. progress on goals)

assignment due dates calendar

18 things to do by the end of 2018

Special Pages for Special Friends

business cards from networking events

gift ideas for your friends/family/significant other

birthday / anniversary calendar

emergency contacts / phone numbers of important people

friendship journal:

memories / moments they were there for you

how you met

moments you want to share in the future

their mbti/hogwarts house

their best qualities

Trackers/Logs/______ of the Day

gratitude journal - # things you’re grateful for every day

habit trackers

motivational quotes

news headlines / this day in history

daily affirmations

currently reading / watching / listening to / feeling / eating / wanting etc.

time usage (read: wastage) tracker

k-drama or tv show episode tracker (always forget what ep I’m up to :S)

expenses tracker / tax deductibles

dream diary (tracker, plot(?), lucid or not, dream meanings)

new album or song releases

photo diary / sketch diary

weather

follower milestones

social media post tracker

household duties/chores tracker

grades tracker

year in pixels

TIL (today I learned)

civics

appointments: dentist, optometrist, doctor, therapist, etc.

bills: car / internet / rent etc

tax: income statements and work expenses receipts

membership/licence renewals

health

weight tracker

resting heart rate tracker (gives general idea of cardio fitness)

water intake tracker sleep log / time to bed / time awake / total hours slept

exercise log: number of reps / steps / minutes

mood trackers

period tracker

Various Creative Spread Ideas

day-to-day / life planning spreads

skincare routines

perfect/ideal morning routine

self-care reminders

exercise routines

wishlist

bucket list

firsts: kiss, date, house, vacation, car, concert, etc.

DIYs to attempt

savings jar (doodle it!)

yearly / monthly recurring tasks

usernames/passwords (hints only for security!)

5 or 10 year plans

dream job

dream house

planning for moving houses

dream wedding / planning

date ideas

make a worse case scenarios primer

summary tutorials for your reference e.g. step-by-step tax returns

academic

studyblr ideas

topics I need to revise

finals study timetable/plan

aspirations: what you want to be and why / how to get there

class timetable

assignment ideas

project schedules / team meeting dates

professors’ emails/office hours

assessment results

anti-procrastination page

motivations to study

skills you want to learn or are useful e.g. coding

formulas page

courses you want to take and their pre-reqs

college comparisons

back to school shopping list

textbook list with prices

language learning

vocabulary lists

grammar structures

media (books/tv shows/movies) to consume in that language

self-reflection / personality traits

best and worst characteristics

what to be mindful of / what you need to work on

mbti types you’re most compatible with

fears and how you want to overcome them

letters to your future self (include hopes and dreams)

letters to your past self (include achievements and things to be proud of!)

inspirational people

stress management tips

charities to donate to and why you support them

volunteering activities

fun, cute, and aesthetic spread ideas

things worth staying alive for / getting out of bed for

a spread with all the things you were worried about which turned out fine

message page from your friends to you

“i can’t live without ______”

creative crafts spread: tips / equipment / tutorials

aesthetic colour moodboards

happy / comforting / relaxing / funny things spread

seasons (summer/autumn/winter/spring) spread

rainy day spread

holidays spreads: christmas / easter / halloween / thanksgiving

idioms and proverbs from all different cultures

flowers spread: fav flowers, meanings, bouquet/arrangements, press ‘em!

crystals spread: fav gemstones (doodle ‘em), meanings

succulents spread: fav succulents, terrarium layout ideas

coffee/tea spread: paint with coffee / fav blends / best cafes

what’s in my bag (doodle it!)

outfit ideas / polyvore style collections

magazine clippings

shower thoughts / hypothetical ideas spread

draw my life spread / personal timeline

favourite characters e.g. gudetama, kumamon, etc. (doodle ‘em!)

interesting words list (ephemeral, mellifluous, serendipity, scintillating etc)

ideal date ideas

wedding anniversary ideas (like 1st is paper, 25th silver, 30th pearl, 40th ruby, 50th gold, 60th diamond)

baby animals spread (duckies, puppies, bunnies!!)

#just bullet journal things

bujo spread layouts and devices to try out (e.g. chronodex, parallel time ladder)

key/legend (keep it simple!)

colour palettes/swatches

washi tape / pens / markers swatches

banners / fonts

doodles

ticket stubs / receipts

stickers / stamps

cutouts of info brochures

pressed flowers

calligraphy / brush lettering / handwriting practice

favourite stationery

activities

_______ that you want to do* / have done* (kind of bucket list) *watch, read, listen to, try, taste, cook, play etc.

books

movies

tv shows

music

hobbies

arts/crafts e.g. paper quilling

sports e.g. archery

how to play / equipment / etc.

video games

foods

activities

board games

books / movies / tv shows

summary / review

favourite characters

meaningful moments / moments that made you laugh / cry

(for the media critic) artful moments:

best descriptive passages

best cinematography

best action scenes

best use of soundtracks

(basically moments that make it deserving of awards)

music

album reviews

favourite songs

playlists for every mood and all seasons

meaningful lyrics

songs you shazamed

favourite genres and exemplar songs

kpop

reasons why i love my bias / bias wrecker / group

letter to your bias

comeback concepts / favourite outfits

visual/picture tutorials for makeup styles

calendar of your favs’ schedules during comeback season

in-jokes/memes

awards / achievements / records broken / milestones

translated lyrics

kpop songs vocab lists

upcoming releases

on this day

art

pics of your favourite artworks/artists + write about it

art styles you want to emulate

explain techniques for different media e.g. watercolour wet-on-wet

doodle ideas

astrology

natal chart readings/aspects/placements

solar return reading for the incoming year / transits

synastry / compatibility chart readings

constellation/star charts

symbol reference page for planets, zodiac signs, aspects

food

recipes

meal plans

shopping lists

interesting foods: (doodle ‘em!) taste / texture / smell (e.g. truffles, caviar)

cafes/restaurants you want to go to + their specialty dish (photo)

cocktails you want to mix/taste (doodle ‘em!)

media

interesting articles + moral/ethical issues it prompted you to think about

controversial topics on the news and for/against arguments/your thoughts

on this day in history

fav websites / blogs

jokes / puns / pickup lines

favourite poems / quotes / short stories

kinaesthetic

burn book - write things that make you angry/sad and rip the page out

wreck it journal - e.g. colour, scribble, stickers all over this page

travel

places to visit

travel itinerary

cultural parables

useful phrases in the language and their meaning

travel memories spread: things you did / places you went / selfies

postcard collection

packing list

friendly and not-so-friendly people that you met in foreign lands

writing

short story ideas

plot brainstorming spreads

journal prompts

drabbles

character designs

foreign words which can’t be directly translated into english

Follow optomstudies for daily original posts and study masterposts! Links: all originals + langblr posts + 15-part college 101 series + web directory!

#studyblr #studyspo #study tips #studyspiration #bullet journal #bujo #bujo spread #weekly spread #bullet journal ideas #journal #planner #study space #college #university #high school #journalsanctuary #mymp #small studyblr network #optomstudies

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ncuindia · 5 years ago

Text

Psychological Well-being for students during the time of Coronavirus

The current Coronavirus (COVID 19) epidemic has evoked many feelings. Some of us are enjoying the added time with our loved ones, while others are experiencing anxiety over their safety.

● We might feel grief or relief, sadness, nervousness, or optimism. For many of us, if not all, the uncertainty could leave us feeling that we have little control.

● While life is always uncertain, unpredictable, and uncontrollable, we often ignore this reality as feelings of certainty and predictability make us feel safe in this world.

Some might feel fine during these uncertain times and might even be grateful for the slow pace of life; you might feel this time is a great opportunity to relax and reconnect with loved ones.

Or you might be someone who is having a difficult time. These moments can re-trigger past traumas and attack our psychological vulnerabilities. The sense of isolation can make time difficult to manage. Instead of having fun with your family, navigating relationships might become complicated.

Some Common Psychological Reactions:

⇒ Poor sleep, difficulty in focusing, difficulty managing emotions, low mood, numbness, irritability, frustration, confusion, paranoia, and nervousness about the future.

⇒ It is important to remember that everyone experiences and copes with stress differently.

⇒ When faced with difficulties, we are often taught to find solutions outside ourselves, for example, going out to meet friends, going for a run, etc. While these are great ways to deal with difficult circumstances, due to the current situation, these strategies are not present.

If you are having a difficult time, these coping skills might help maintain your psychological well-being.

Coping Skills

1) Establish a Routine:

● No matter how much we hate our routine life, it is these everyday rhythms and their predictability that make our body and mind feel safe. COVID-19 and quarantines have disrupted these very rhythms of life. This can leave you feeling directionless in trying to figure out how to fill the hours of the day.

o Plan out your week; you do not have to force your old routine. Remember, these are novel circumstances, and they allow you to create your own new routine which nurtures you.

o Break up the day to stave off monotony. Keep plans short-term. Only plan today and the next few days. Don’t look into the unknown future: it is not in your control like the future never is – that is the most normal thing in these abnormal times.

o Dialogue is key: If you are a student, it’s important to have a dialogue around schedule, rules, and expectations. Many young students feel that their families have difficulty in providing and respecting schedules. Families must decide

schedules as a unit,thereby reducing conflict. As a student and young adult, it’s important to take responsibility that makes you feel competent but that should not compromise with your academic life. Help your family in understanding that balance and forming realistic expectations.

o Short term goals: Instead of trying to finish and pay attention to all your academic tasks at once. Try to start with the easiest and shortest goal and increase the difficulty and duration of the task gradually. This will help in feeling competent, and dealing with feelings of procrastination.

Rituals: Anything that we do every day is a ritual.

o For example, the morning cup of coffee is a ritual, or the thoughts that you have while walking back home are all rituals that create a sense of familiarity and groundedness for us.

o Creating a ritual gives us a sense of safety and predictability. Think of your beloved rituals taken away and bring them back. Let go of unhelpful rituals and create room for new ones. Maybe watch an old movie a day with the family?

o New structures are important too: It is essential to create new structures and habits that give you a sense of agency and efficacy.

2) Sleep Disturbance:

For sleep disturbance, maintain sleep hygiene

a. Making sure you go to bed at a consistent time

b. Avoid caffeine intake after 5.30 pm

c. Following a sleep ritual (reading a book, drinking hot water, anything that can help you follow routine)

d. Avoid using a phone or laptop in bed.

3) Exercise and Dancing:

o Remember, exercise is not only for a size zero figure but has a profound impact on your mental health.

o Even fifteen minutes of exercise a day releases endorphins and serotonin that uplifts your spirits. It’s also a great way to help combat the sense of boredom that can come from being stuck inside day after day.

o Start with ten minutes a day and increase gradually. Don’t have harsh expectations. Start slow.

o If you hate exercising alone, plan to have video exercise or dance sessions with friends.

4) Reducing Screen time:

● Constant online engagement can increase feelings of disembodiment and disconnection.

● It’s important that we take regular breaks, walk after forty-five minutes

● Engage in activities that allow us to remain connected with the outside world. For example, standing on your balcony.

● If working from home or taking online classes, prefer to work on your laptop instead of a mobile phone. Reduce your mobile screen time.

5) Stay Informed, but Not Overwhelmed:

● Rather than spend your time watching cable news, focus on getting helpful information from trusted sources such as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), World Health Organization(WHO), state and local health departments, and your doctor.

● Limit your TV time and disengage with things that put you in a state of threat. The situation is not under our control, so the best rule is to access information that makes us feel safe. For example, News regarding research trial vaccines.

● Keep distance from friends or family members who are prone to sharing panic-inducing posts.

6) Breathing Exercises:

● The thought of sitting with our mental commentary can feel overwhelming. It is important to not push our minds to be silent; treat your thoughts as clouds that come and go.

● Not getting attached or overwhelmed by them but letting them pass will help you have a friendly relationship with them, and they will appear less threatening.

● Even five minutes of conscious breathing exercise can allow us to relax.

● When you breathe out,you release all of the tensions inside, and when you breathe in, you inhale the nurturance from outside.

● Remember, breathing is about expansion and contraction, so we can allow this activity to help us get in expanding our inner selves: kindness, peace, love, faith, healing.

● Helpful resources: Alan Wallace, Thich Nhat Hanh, Dr. Russ Harris

7) Finding a New Hobby:

● Following a creative pursuit gives you something to work towards each day.

● It can even induce feelings of competence, mastery, agency, and a sense of purpose in the face of lack of control.

For example: Cookingis not just an ordeal, but a means to nurture ourselves.

● Cooking engages multiple senses, it can be a form of mindfulness. The focus and rhythm of chopping or stirring can help soothe anxiety.

⇒ You can even use cooking as a pro-social endeavor. If the state of our nation’s struggling poor disheartens you, you can cook extra to feed the essential workers around you (for example: guards, milkmen). Helping is another way to regain a sense of control and competence.

8) Expressing Emotions:

● We are often taught to block emotions, or they are considered abnormal.

● Our society has a tendency to pathologize normal feelings such as sadness and worry. Remember when you block pain, you also block joy and the capacity to experience all feelings. It’s healthier to acknowledge our complicated feelings. complicated feelings allow us to feel the pain of self and others, and it is only when we can handle both that we can be compassionate to the suffering of the world.

● Again, you might feel nothing or joy or boredom or just simply frustrated – remember YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL GOOD OR BAD ABOUT THIS.

● For others, the rise of the death toll might lead to grief. We might also feel grief for the planned future. Grief is a normal emotion at this time, and it is Okay to grieve!

● Open yourselves to trusted others and allow yourself and others to be vulnerable. Reassure each other that you are supported. Be empathetic to each other: This is new for all of us, so it’s important to be kind to each other.

● Remember, when we are hoarding our groceries, hoarding our emotions, hoarding our resources, we are continuing the old ways that brought us here.

9) Finding new ways to connect with family:

● In our families, intimacy, emotions, and affection can take different forms. Even when families are complex, they do also make us feel safe.

● Many families find it difficult to have honest conversations and deep dialogue.

● This crisis can be a moment to rebuild your relationship with your family.

● Playing old games (carom, ludo, charades)

● Having conversations after dinner is essential to build and maintain closeness.

● You can talk about: 1) each person’s favorite vacation, 2) their lasting regret, 3) their secret adventure, 4) what they are proud of in self, and others 5) what they appreciate or dislike about each other etc. Even simple questions can help in building and rekindling bonds, allowing us to connect with family safely.

10) Interconnected nature of self with the world:

● It might feel daunting to realize that we are deeply interconnected with each other and the planet we live on. The current crisis is a reminder that our health and well-being depend on each other. The earth balances our existence, and it is a good moment to hear the call of the earth and adopt practices that help our planet. Within a few days, we all are witnessing the earth rejuvenating and the ways our current economic system has made us indifferent to the pain of the others. Thus, breathe in the air from your balcony, hear the birds, and be amazed at the stars and keep it as a memory to remind ourselves that we are gifted with a beautiful planet, and we are responsible for its healing.

Dr. Sugandh Dixit,

PhD Clinical Psychologist,

[email protected]

Some helpful resources:

https://samyeinstitute.org/radically-happy/what-can-we-do-if-we-really-start-to-freak-out-part-2-creating-space-with-phakchok-rinpoche/?fbclid=IwAR0zFmwk0ctqaAslJrNDQjYXsfTbvgfcl0TCQJaOPzekvZuUZULulXah8Pk

https://www.tarabrach.com/create-home-retreat/?fbclid=IwAR2Nl9H_e96zimmfyahAk9-yVYtggrwtDoNbbRY77uNubSXkiJP-NKK9xLA

https://northernbreeze.blog/2020/03/23/what-is-the-corona-covid-19-virus-really-teaching-us-bill-gates/

https://au.reachout.com/articles/10-ways-to-take-care-of-yourself-during-coronavirus

#COVID-19

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acrobat-elle · 8 years ago

Text

I have no idea how this post is going to be received, but I’ve seen a few things today that set my teeth on edge.

This is a friendly reminder that fic writers and artists do what they do for free. People who run fic-finding blogs do what they do for free. People who make gifs do it for free. People who put together amazing rec lists do it for free. People who read and reblog every fic they come across do it for free. People who write amazingly-detailed, insightful or funny tags on their reblogs do it for free. And we get to enjoy the fruits of their labor. How cool is that? There’s so much amazing stuff out there for us to consume, and it doesn’t cost us a penny. It makes fandom fun and it makes fandom better.

And all of these people - the artists, the writers, the finders, the giffers, and the reccers - also have lives of their own. They go to school. They work full-time jobs. They have families and significant others and friends and hobbies. They have health problems. They have mental health issues. They have fandom for fun, and they have fandom to escape. Some people like to talk to anyone and everyone who hits up their inbox. Some people are more introverted. Some people prefer to keep a small circle of friends, or got cautious about making new friends after they’ve been burned a few times (haven’t we all run into toxic people online at some point?). Some people follow thousands of blogs. Some follow a few.

What they don’t have is a debt to fandom. They don’t actually owe anyone anything. Whether it’s an update on a multi-chapter, a response to a prompt, a new piece of art when someone requests it, a list of their favorite bed-sharing fics, a gifset, a like, a reblog, a comment, or a beta.

(I’m not saying that feedback or likes/reblogs/comments aren’t important, obviously. *waves* Hi, I write fic. Of course it’s important. That’s not why I’m writing this.)

A lot of times people expect these things, and in some cases people demand these things. It’s not cool. And when the artist/writer/blogger doesn’t deliver, they get anon hate and snotty comments. One of the biggest complaints I’ve seen in the fandom - that good fics by lesser-known authors get ignored - is trying to be addressed by a new blog specifically devoted to promoting these authors. Amazing idea, right? Someone saw a problem and is making a genuine, good-hearted effort to fix it.

That blog is less than a day old, and they’ve already gotten anon comments along the lines of, “Why bother? It won’t help,” and “Why are you waiting before you start reccing? There are authors need your help now.” I repeat: that blog is less than a day old. Someone decided to take time out of their life to try and shed a spotlight on new/lesser-known authors - for FREE - and they’re already getting shit on.

So, I’m a writer. I don’t know how "famous” I am, or how famous other people think I am. I follow very few blogs because 1) I tried following hundreds of people when I first started on Tumblr and it got incredibly overwhelming for me, 2) I’ve gradually whittled my dash down to be as drama-free as possible, and 3) I follow authors and artists who I know from experience post quality content that I know I’ll love. And frankly, I can’t even keep up with everything they post and feel like crap when I fall behind on fic-reading.

Y’all, I work full-time. I have friends IRL and online. I follow a few blogs that make me happy. I try to write. I have serious struggles with depression sometimes. I hang out with my asshole cats. And I am tired. I don’t live in an online bubble to deliberately exclude people. All I do is try to make an online experience for myself that makes fandom more enjoyable for me, rather than more stressful.

I... don’t have any sort of grand thesis or conclusion here, other than we need to be nice to each other, and maybe take other people’s experiences into account when evaluating their behavior. And please, if you find yourself getting angry at authors or artists or gif-makers or rec blogs, remember that you’re getting angry at people who spend hours producing content for you to enjoy, for free. They never had to give you anything, but they still do.

#elle for ts #i don't know if i'll lose followers over this or not #fandom stuff

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tfdsupplies · 5 years ago

Text

Another School Year Starts - Advice to a New Teacher

New teachers face unique challenges from connecting with students to developing a work-life balance in a career that seems to follow them home every day. But they also have one of the most important and rewarding jobs on the planet, so those new-teacher-jitters are well worth it in the end. We've put together some advice to help you tackle your new and exciting career head-on.

Make Class Fun for the Students

and

Yourself

Nothing makes learning more effective than when the students are interested in the subject and eager to participate instead of staring blankly at a teacher who feels like her words are bouncing off their foreheads. So, get your kids' attention by making the class more fun. Consider developing an interactive teaching style that includes hand-on lessons and memorable learning activities. You could create a Jeopardy-style game using the material your class is working on. You could also create a "Bingo" game where you ask questions and students must find the answers on their "Bingo" cards. This is basically a multiple-choice assignment but in the form of a game instead of a worksheet. Not only will the students have more fun learning, but work will feel a lot less like "work" to you as well.

Provide Parents with Positive Feedback as Soon as Possible

No parent enjoys hearing negative comments about their children, no matter how good your intentions are. It's best to set a foundation of positivity by giving them good news about their kids as early in the school year as possible. If the first thing a parent hears from you about their child is negative, it could set an unpleasant tone in your relationship that might follow you throughout the school year. So, keep things as light as possible in the beginning. If it can be helped, save any negative feedback for a later time after you've already established a good relationship with the parents. You will eventually have to dish out some news a parent won't be happy to hear, but don't make it a habit to only inform parents of the problems with their children. Tell them about their kids' achievements in class and any strengths you observe that you would want to hear about if these were your own kids.

Develop Friendships Early On

Make friends with anyone and everyone who's a regular at the school. This includes teachers, students, custodians, secretaries, parents, and anyone else you have the chance of interacting with regularly. Help turn your workplace into a supportive, friendly environment. Be a companion to your fellow teachers. Show the students you care about their success by offering friendly advice. Smile when someone makes eye contact with you in the hallway. Any kind gesture, no matter how small, is one more step toward a more comfortable and happy work environment. Not only will this make your job more enjoyable, but you'll also have experienced people to turn to for job-related advice.

Observe Your Fellow Teachers

Whenever you get the chance to see how someone else teaches their students, be observant and take some mental notes on things you like about their different teaching styles. You can draw on those observations later and find ways to incorporate what you've learned into your own methods. If you notice students being particularly interested in a certain type of project you'd never thought of doing with your students, draw on that project for inspiration and see how something like that might fit in with your class. Don't be afraid to ask questions and get some pointers about those teaching styles either. Chances are, your fellow faculty members will appreciate your admiration of their methods and be happy to lend advice.

Organization is Key

With dozens of students depending on you to not only fill their brains with knowledge but also keep track of everything they accomplish in your class, organization will be the glue that holds it all together. Keep the files on your computer organized, keep your desk organized, and communicate with your students in a way that is organized and easy to understand. Don't just tell them what you expect on an assignment, write it on the whiteboard as a bulleted list or hand it out on a piece of paper. Kids aren't expected to have super-recall skills, so it's okay to spell things out for them and to provide visual reminders in case your explanation slips their mind. Keep the classroom as organized as possible so that you never have to waste time searching for something or shuffling through a large pile of papers on your desk. Most importantly, have an infallible method for collecting finished assignments. You never,

ever

want to lose track of a child's work after they've handed it in to you.

Have a Life Outside of Work

This advice indeed applies to any job, but you'd be hard-pressed to find one that surpasses teaching in its threat to take over your daily life. It's okay to spend some of your time at home grading papers and coming up with new teaching strategies or even developing that Jeopardy-style quiz you might be planning on using in class. But if you're coming home from work every single day and continuing your job at home, there's a good chance you'll be heading straight toward Burnout City. Work burnout is a serious issue that could impact your teaching abilities and affect your mental health if it goes on for too long. So, don't carry your work with you everywhere you go. Take time out to breath, to socialize with people outside of school, and to hang onto any hobbies that you enjoy.

Don't Worry About Being the "Cool" Teacher

Have fun with your students and let your personality shine through in your teaching methods, but always remember that you're the adult. Learning can be fun and teachers can relax and laugh with their students. But if a student becomes disruptive, don't be afraid to remind them who's boss. You'll likely be subjected to bad behavior on a yearly basis, so nip it in the bud as soon as it springs up. Being stern all the time might make for an uncomfortable classroom environment, but being nice all the time could be just as bad if you end up with students who mistake your kindness for timidity and believe they can walk all over you. Be nice, but always put your foot down when it's appropriate. You can be liked and respected at the same time.

Empathize with the Kids

While it is essential for your sanity to address any bad behavior from your students and to deal out the appropriate punishments whenever necessary, never forget that those kids are people too. It's easy to assume a child acting out in front of other children is looking to impress his classmates but consider the possibility that something deeper is going on in the child's life. Sometimes stepping into the hallway and speaking privately with a disruptive child about their behavior can have more of an impact than a trip to the office. Always try to see things through the student's eyes. Recognize the challenges they face and offer support and advice when you see them struggling.

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unikkornhall · 5 years ago

Text

I Don’t Know Her

Basic Character Questions

First name? Nikolas

Surname? MCS

Middle names? nope

Nicknames? You can call me Nikko

Date of birth? 10/09/1991

Age? 27

Physical / Appearance

Height? 1,74m

Weight? 89Kg

Build? Wide, graciously curvy

Hair colour? Red [thanks science]

Hair style? It should be long, but shit happens.

Eye colour? Light Brown

Eye Shape? Oh well... Caucasian-ish?

Glasses or contact lenses? None

Distinguishing facial features? Ginger beard

Which facial feature is most prominent? Forehead galore

Which bodily feature is most prominent? Paleness? Big ass[ets]?

Other distinguishing features? Long torax, short legs, waist legend

Skin? Pale, smooth, full of spots #101Nikkatians

Hands? Big, soft, can snap for days

Make up? Translucid powder, eyebrow, mascara, bronze eyeshadow, go!

Scars? Under my nose [dog bite], on my head [hammock fail]

Birthmarks? None

Tattoos? yensiD [left wrist], Mickey [right forearm], gnuoy eb, duorp eb [hands]

Physical handicaps? None

Type of clothes? It’d be a lot more awkward, slutty and funny if only $$$

How do they wear their clothes? Oh well, you know... On my body

What are their feet like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn, etc) I’m a 43(br) and love all kind of boots [perv]

Race / Ethnicity? Caucasian, mainly Lebanese and Italian, but also everything else [shout out to Ireland]

Mannerisms? As I said, Italian, so... hands everywhere. And faces.

Are they in good health? My body tries, I get in the way of it

Do they have any disabilities? Hmmm... Maybe focus-wise....I don’t knSQUIRREL!!!

Personality

What words or phrases do they overuse? Like... What now?

Do they have a catchphrase? “I didn’t come out to see straight people.”

Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Opt knowing deep inside shit is real

Are they introverted or extroverted? Ext Social Mask smothers Int Self

Do they ever put on airs? Behind a humble facade, yes

What bad habits do they have? Bad love choices, bad alcohol choices

What makes them laugh out loud? Almost everything, espeacially myself

How do they display affection? Taking care, criticizing, keeping around

Mental handicaps? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAdefinitely

How do they want to be seen by others? Good, loyal, fun, reliable

How do they see themselves? A fucking mess

How are they seen by others? Funny, airhead, always late, immature

Strongest character trait? Sense of humor, devoted, very protective.

Weakest character trait? Can’t decide until last minute. A little angry ego.

How competitive are they? Mostly okay.

Do they make snap judgements or take time to consider? Both

How do they react to praise? STAHP IT. No, srsly, stop.

How do they react to criticism? War in my mind (less apocalyptical if it is a constructive one, not only mean)

What is their greatest fear? Not knowing. Also Alzheimer’s. Arachinae.

What are their biggest secrets? You wish. ~immaho~

What is their philosophy of life? Don’t rush, don’t hush, judge before trust.

When was the last time they cried? Some random song this week

What haunts them? Darkness, regret, violence, gone too soon

What are their political views? Good laws to protect and respect all people

What will they stand up for? Friends, animals, injustice.

Who do they quote? Bad obscure cartoon characters

Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy? in, love nature, but sun, heat, insects... ugh, PEOPLE

What is their sinful little habit? Can’t really tell, can I?

What sense do they most rely on? Very grateful for sight, but hearing

How do they treat people better than them? If only there was such people

How do they treat people worse than them? Politely evil. [if by worse you mean a bad person]

What quality do they most value in a friend? Loyalty

What do they consider an overrated virtue? Family need

If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? Don’t overthink so much, be able to choose something and focus on it

What is their obsession? Music

What are their pet peeves? DON’T GO FUCKING CHANGING MY FUCKING PLAYLIST IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FUCKING SONG

What are their idiosyncrasies? It seems like I’ve been living in a musical for quite a while now.

Friends and Family

Is their family big or small? Who does it consist of? Big, huge, love my siblings.

What is their perception of family? My space, your space, deal? [I don’t talk much to any of them]

Do they have siblings? Older or younger? I am the oldest, then there are 2 boys and 2 girls.

Describe their best friend. Ginger, unfair karma queen, the best.

Ideal best friend? A twin? [narcisist much?]

Describe their other friends. Easy going people, alcohol friendly, nighters

Describe their acquaintances. RMC, are you there?

Do they have any pets? Towanda, the cat. [Bridget, her sister, ran away]

Who are their natural allies? The walls at home?

Who are their surprising allies? The stage

Past and Future

What was your character like as a baby? As a child? Fat and smart

Did they grow up rich or poor? Okay, no big luxury, comfortable

Did they grow up nurtured or neglected? Emotionally negleted

What is the most offensive thing they ever said? *bleep*

What is their greatest achievement? Living alone

What was their first kiss like? Ugh, mall stairs, f u Marie

What is the worst thing they did to someone they loved? Let them go

What are their ambitions? The world, rule it.

What advice would they give their younger self? You go and do that and speak up and enjoy the fuck of it!

What smells remind them of their childhood? Plumeria rubra scent

What was their childhood ambition? Be a scientist

What is their best childhood memory? Seing Santa Claus

What is their worst childhood memory? Hearing stepdouche doing mom

Did they have an imaginary childhood friend? I don’t remember :^(

When was the last time they were crushed with disappointment? Pff! Good morning?!?!? Done.

What past act are they most ashamed of? Perform a Britney song to my steploser

What past act are they most proud of? Get into college

Has anyone ever saved their life? Not that I remember, but I did.

Strongest childhood memory? Making “herb-ice”

Love

Do they believe in love at first sight? Yep

Are they in a relationship? Nope

How do they behave in a relationship? Ugh....... Not well

When did you character last have sex? Ahahaha HOW DARE YOU?

What sort of sex do they have? THERE ARE CHILDREN READIN[I’m Breathless track 3]

Has your character ever been in love? Yes...yes

Have they ever had their heart broken? You can’t love and not have your heart broken

Conflict

How do they respond to a threat? Analysis and response

Are they most likely to fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue

What is your character’s kryptonite? A stupid thing to awnser

If your character could only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Books as a whole count? If not, my writings.

How do they perceive strangers? Fully.

What do they love to hate? Crocs [but I have one, FYI]

What are their phobias? Spidey, things falling [?!?]

What is their choice of weapon? Double 9mm OR Mr. Pointy

What living person do they most despise? Right awnser! SD! E FD.

Have they ever been bullied or teased? Hm... A fat gay boy in high school... I WONDER WHAT IT WAS LIKE?! [actually after a slow start I did very well socially in high school]

Where do they go when they’re angry? Smoke a cig... or 5

Who are their enemies and why? Toxic straight people, evil pocs, fascionistas bitches and unemployment.

Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current job? English teacher

What do they think about their current job? I love my students

What are some of their past jobs? More of that. Also DJing

What are their hobbies? Assimilate culture

Educational background? College almost done than dropped

Intelligence level? ahahahah too much for my own good

Do they have any specialist training? Madonna 101: How to be a star and make fabulous detail-oriented tours and concept albums

Do they have a natural talent for something? Very bend-y. Can dance.

Do they play a sport? Are they any good? Long Time-distance Sleeping

What is their socioeconomic status? White privilege going bankrupt

Favourites

What is their favourite animal? Wolf and deer and unicorn

Which animal to they dislike the most? Eesh, besides arach-crew? Protozoa disturbs me

What place would they most like to visit? NY/Iceland/Japan

What is the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? Every dawn is it.

What is their favourite song? HA! As if I could, but I got some. Down Under - Men At Work is a good one.

Music, art, reading preferred? Gimme gimme blood! All of it, Love art.

What is their favourite colour? Green. [is rainbow a color?]

What is their password? anime character

Favourite food: Potato, Nachos and Watermellon

What is their favourite work of art? The Virgin of the Rocks by Leonardo DaVinci.

Who is their favourite artist? Oh boy... Gustave Doré. Mucha is one of them. DaVinci is the most important in my life. Björk in music.

What is their favourite day of the week? Wednesday

Possessions

What is in their fridge: many spices, little actual food

What is on their bedside table? water, saline solution and toilet paper

What is in their car? nothing because it does not exist

What is in their bin? used tissues, nails, empty snacks packages

What is in their purse or wallet? lot of hygiene itens, umbrella, more toilet paper, some books, e-reader, chargers, sunglasses, water bottle, mess

What is in their pockets? trash, coins, keys, cellphone, ID

What is their most treasured possession? My books

Spirituality

Who or what is your character’s guardian angel? A very tired one

Do they believe in the afterlife? Yes

What are their religious views? Go nature, fuck people

What do they think heaven is? Peace

What do they think hell is? This?

Are they superstitious? Yep, a litte

What would they like to be reincarnated as? A happy person with a happy life

How would they like to die? No pain, no fear.

What is your character’s spirit animal? Bridget Jones. Maybe a capybara.

What is their zodiac sign? Virgo [asc Aqu moon Lib ven Leo]

Values

What do they think is the worst thing that can be done to a person? Take away their freedom

What is their view of ‘freedom’? Being responsible for your own choices

When did they last lie? Some lines above SCANDAAAAAALL!!!!

What’s their view of lying? Sadly vital

When did they last make a promise? Last month

Did they keep or break their last promise? Hell yeah

Daily life

What are their eating habits? Bring it in

Do they have any allergies? Everything and nada, possible rhinitis.

Describe their home. Empty, quiet, books everywhere, clean but messy.

Are they minimalist or a clutter hoarder? FREACKING HOARDER BOSS

What do they do first thing on a weekday morning? Tea

What do they do on a Sunday afternoon? Become one with the sofa

What do they do on a Friday night? Try to stay home, fails, go out

What is the soft drink of choice? Strawberry juice with condensed milk

What is their alcoholic drink of choice? Margarita [it is not a cocktail, but Bailey’s]

Miscellaneous

What is their character archetype? Chaotic Neutral towards Good [ENFp - #2w3]

Who is their hero? My fantasy autors, directors, painters.

What or who would your character dress up as for Halloween? Sailor Moon. Elvira. Scooby Doo. An Absolut bottle. Dorothy or Elphaba.

Are they comfortable with technology? Very

If they could save one person, who would it be? My older sibling.

If they could call one person for help, who would it be? Beyoncé

What is their favourite proverb? To know and not to do is not to know

What is their greatest extravagance? Eat good food without caring about the money

What is their greatest regret? Can’t recall any BIIIG one

What is their perception of redemption? To love fully, completely surrender to it, just because it feels right.

What would they do if they won the lottery? Give enough to my siblings be okay for their lives and then travel the world, never come back.

What is their favourite fairytale? Donkeyskin

What fairytale do they hate? Cinderella, too close to home maybe

Do they believe in happy endings? Yes

What is their idea of perfect happiness? Peace, freedom, money

What would they ask a fortune teller? How many children will I have?

If your character could travel through time, where would they go? Definetely the 80′s. Ancient Greece. Renaissence Italy. Feudal Japan. The Celts. And find out if there really was an Atlantis.

What sport do they excel at? Volleyball, gymnastics, can I say yoga?

What sport do they suck at? Most of them?

If they could have a superpower, what would they choose? Read minds, teleport, being invisible, Luke Cage Skin, The Phoenix... any of this haha OY WITH THE POODLES ALREADY!! Ugh, endless!!!!

Thank you for your endurance through this! Well, that’s a little lot about me! Hope it will awnser some of your questions as they pop up. You can always ask. So, that is done. Bye now,

- Nikko, the Unikkorn King

original questionaire by https://www.novel-software.com/

#about me #Nikko

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onlinemarketingcourses · 6 years ago

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Exploring the Connections Between Your Marital Life and Your Financial Life

This is the fourth entry in an eight part series exploring the connections between your finances and other areas of your life.

A few weeks ago, I started a series exploring the connections between personal finance and the other “spheres” of my life. The first entry covered the connections between one’s physical life and financial life, the second entry covered the connections between one’s mental and spiritual life and financial life, the third entry covered the connections between one’s intellectual life and financial life and today we’re looking at one’s marital/romantic life and financial life.

As noted in the first entry, I tend to view life as a bunch of “spheres,” or areas of focus. I really like Michael Hyatt’s list of nine such “spheres”: physical, mental/spiritual, intellectual, social, marital, parental, avocational (hobbies), vocational, and financial – they cover much of what life is all about. I’ve come to view these spheres as deeply interconnected, in that success in one sphere is usually linked in some significant ways to success in other spheres (and failures are similarly connected) and that knowing the connections can help people figure out how to succeed in both areas at once.

Today, we’re going to look at the marital sphere, which goes beyond just marriage and covers all lasting romantic relationships.

What Is “Marital Life”?

Obviously, marital life refers to the relationship you have with the person you’re married to. However, the idea of “marital life” extends beyond a nominal marriage, however. Most of the benefits of a marriage extend to almost every long term romantic relationship that involves cohabitation, even if the people involved are not married in the legal or religious sense of the word.

Is that relationship healthy? Is it strong? Is it full of trust? Is it a source of happiness in your life? That’s marital life.

Such a relationship, when healthy, confers a ton of benefits on the participants. Here are just some of them.

First, you’re able to take advantage of a ton of shared bills. If you’re cohabitating, you might have a somewhat larger home, but you’re sharing all of the bills and household responsibilities. Even if having two people on board means a 50% larger home with 50% larger bills, then both individuals are still saving 25% of

Second, if you’re married, you become eligible for a bunch of tax benefits. You have access to joint filing of your income taxes, which can save you significant money over filing your taxes separately. The tax brackets for married people are much more friendly, too.

Third, if you’re married, you have a bunch of additional options for retirement planning and health insurance. For retirement planning, you have the ability to diversify your overall retirement savings and you have a much larger window for things like Roth IRA contributions (and it’s easier to save for these things because of the other reasons on this list). Also, a couple will be able to choose among the health insurance options available to each of them, ensuring that married couples are much more likely to wind up with a great health insurance plan.

Finally, Social Security, Medicare, disability, and veterans benefits can be transferred between spouses, and there are often survivor benefits. In other words, if you’re married and your spouse dies, you’re often eligible to receive at least some of the benefits due to your deceased spouse.

There’s also a financial flip side: ending a marriage via divorce is often quite costly. Divorces aren’t cheap and have real negative financial consequence for the people involved.

On a personal note, I find that being married is (in part) kind of like having a financial advisor and life coach at home all the time. Whenever I need to talk through a financial issue, she’s there and we can go through it together, shining two sets of eyes on the same issue and often catching things and coming up with ideas that the other would not.

Clearly, having a healthy marriage or other form of long term relationship is financially valuable, but it can also be quite challenging to keep it healthy. It takes a lot of work. Here are five low cost strategies I use for maintaining and improving my own marital life.

Strategy #1 – Accept and Forgive Imperfection

Your parter is wildly imperfect. So are you. If you expect your partner to be perfect, all you’re going to get is a lot of disappointment. If you get upset with your partner being imperfect, all you’re going to get is a lot of arguing.

The best thing you can do is learn to accept the vast majority of your partner’s imperfections and forgive them. Learn how to live with them.

It’s okay to ask your partner to change a thing or two that really bothers you, but if it begins to turn into an endless cycle of trying to make that person change, two things will happen, and both of them are bad.

First, your partner is likely to start resenting you, whether you see it or not. Your partner will feel like you’ve gone from loving them to actively rejecting who they are with constant demands of change. That’s not something that leads to a positive relationship.

Second, you’re actually likely to not like your partner as much, either. Remember, you committed your partner for who he or she is, so if you incessantly demand that your partner changes for you, you’re turning that partner into someone you don’t actually want.

The best solution is to, rather than change your partner, let your partner be. If there’s one or two extremely egregious things that get on your nerves, you can ask that your partner work on those things, but expect your partner to ask you to work on some things too (in fact, you should ask your partner what they would like you to change), and keep that number small. Meanwhile, work on accepting the other rough edges. Some of the other strategies will help with this.

Strategy #2 – Know how your partner feels loved – and act on it

Different people feel love in different ways, and feeling loved is a very key part of maintaining a long term healthy relationship. The trick, of course, is that your partner may feel love in a way that’s different than how you feel love, so showing your partner love in a way that works for you might not actually click with your partner and vice versa.

Thus, if you want a healthy relationship, figure out how your partner feels love, act on it, and guide your partner a little towards how you feel loved.

The key is to act on it with consistency. When you figure out how your partner feels love, go out of your way to take care of that.

While it’s not perfect, the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a really strong place for starting to figure this out. That book identifies five ways that people feel love – receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch. Most people feel love via two of those things and the other three matter little to them. Figure out which two matter to your partner and then actively make those two “languages” a part of your life with them.

For example, for me, the two that really stand out are acts of service and physical touch. I feel loved when Sarah is close to me, and I feel loved when she goes out of her way to do something for me. The others are nice, but I don’t feel unloved if she doesn’t affirm me with words or give me gifts (beyond a small thoughtful one that’s more of “I went out of my way to find this” which is more of a “going out of my way to do this” kind of thing). Sarah’s my best friend and I enjoy spending quality time with her, but I don’t feel unloved if she’s busy with her projects.

Sarah, on the other hand, seems to feel love from quality time and acts of service. The other three are important to her, but they’re not how she seems to really feel love.

Thus, a lot of our marriage involves us doing little things for each other that go above and beyond the normal routine. The biggest thing we both do for each other is that we’ll step up and take on the other person’s usual chores when the other person is having a bit of a rough time, and it really clicks for both of us.

Strategy #3 – Consistently Express the Love

It is incredibly easy for a marriage to slip into a very comfortable state where little gestures go from being gestures of love to being routine to being less passionate to being forgotten. When you first fell in love, you may have greeted each other with a romantic embrace and kiss, but after years, your presence is barely acknowledged. That can easily wear down a relationship and make a person feel completely unappreciated and unloved.

The point? Once you know what it is that makes your partner feel loved, make it a very consistent part of life – but don’t make it routine. Vary it up a little.

For example, if your partner likes to be touched, then give your partner an embrace whenever you see your partner for the first time. Start sitting next to your partner on the couch when you watch a movie or read together. Make an effort to be intimate more often, even if it’s a bit more often than you might choose, and initiate it sometimes. The key is to do those things consistently and with some variety.

If your partner thrives on words of affirmation, work on finding different things about them that are worthy of admiration and appreciation and express that appreciation and admiration in different ways. If your partner does something well, point out that you noticed it and you appreciated it. Compliment your partner and note the things he or she does well and brings to the table, particularly before they’re about to face a challenge. The key, again, is to do these things consistently and with some variety.

You don’t have to constantly remind yourself to do things like this – that would likely end up being fairly uncomfortable. Instead, just take a moment each day to think about what you can do to make your partner feel loved and act on that. It really doesn’t take much more than that. It just requires that consistency and enough variety so that it doesn’t become a tired routine. This should be a daily thing – if you’re not speaking love to your partner through action each day, your marriage will struggle.

Strategy #4 – Listen and Communicate

If your partner is struggling with something, listen. This doesn’t mean sitting there and waiting for them to take a breath so you can throw down advice. This doesn’t mean sitting there and zoning out while they drone on and on about that jerk from accounting. It means listening.

This is surprisingly hard to do. So often, we spend our conversational time thinking not about what the other person is saying, but about our own next response. What are we going to say next in this conversational thread? How will we make our next point?

Often, because of that, we completely miss what the other person is saying, and the whole thing becomes an exercise in talking past each other, in taking terns monologuing. That does little to build a relationship.

If you want to build and strengthen a relationship of any kind, listen. Understand what they’re saying.

A simple technique I often use is this: if someone is saying something longer than a sentence or two, my response to it is basically to summarize what I heard them saying. So, if my wife tells me a lengthy story about her experience teaching that day, I’ll say something like, “So, if I’m following you right, X happened, then Y happened, then Z?” This serves not only to confirm that I understood her story, but clearly tells her that I’m listening.

Beyond that, it’s important to communicate empathy and understanding, not just share your own ideas. I’ll often follow up confirmation of a story with an emotional response to that story. “That’s great!” or “That’s… pretty terrible!” I don’t tell her how to respond or anything unless she asks for advice because the truth is that most of the time people tell stories to relate things about themselves, not to acquire advice.

Doing this achieves several things at once.

One, I actually deeply understand what’s going on in my wife’s life. She’s telling me all about it. All I have to do is listen, or else gently prompt her to tell me about her day. Then I just listen, and in the act of summarizing, I absorb it and remember it. This enables me to touch back on a lot of things when we have later conversations.

Two, she feels appreciated because I’m genuinely listening and not just throwing in my thoughts. Her story is the center for me, not my response to the story. That creates a sense of being appreciated and valued.

Three, she’s much more likely to afford the same respect to me when I want to talk about something. She’s not going to just interject off the cuff solutions. She’ll just listen and understand and know me better, and that further cements our relationship.

Finally, this type of active listening and understanding makes it much easier to talk about hard things. It’s a lot easier to talk about a difficult subject if you know your partner will actively listen to you rather than barely paying attention and firing off knee-jerk responses. No one really wants to communicate through that.

Strategy #5 – Reflect on Appreciation, Not Criticism

When you’re thinking about your relationship, consciously make the decision to consider things that you appreciate rather than criticizing things you don’t like.

The part about overcoming criticism goes hand in hand with the first strategy of accepting your partner’s imperfections, but it goes beyond that. You simply shouldn’t waste your mental energy focusing and refocusing on the challenging things about that other person. It doesn’t do you any good. It doesn’t do your relationship any good.

Rather, accentuate the positives. You should regularly make a mental list – or even write it down – of things you appreciate about your partner. What are five things you really value about your partner? That’s a good question to ask yourself regularly – ideally, each day – and strive to come up with fresh answers. They can be big things or little things.

What you’ll find is that if you redirect your thoughts toward your partner’s positives, you’ll find a lot more to love in that partner and you’ll find your bond with your partner growing stronger rather than weaker. You’ll find that you notice the good things more and the bad things less.

Again, remember, your partner isn’t perfect and you should not expect perfection. You shouldn’t try to mold your partner into something he or she is not. Rather, try to look for the things you love in your partner rather than the things you’re not quite as enamored with.

This does not mean that you should accept genuine cruelty or abuse and just try to “overlook” it. Genuine cruelty and abuse is never acceptable. The purpose here is to overlook things like leaving one’s socks out in the bathroom or forgetting to make dinner once in a while and instead focusing on things like how she smells or how warm his embrace is.

Final Thoughts

Marriage takes work. It requires understanding how your partner feels love and doing what it takes to communicate that through action. It requires actually listening to your partner. It requires accepting that your partner isn’t perfect, but choosing to focus always on the positives rather than dwelling on the negatives. Those things aren’t always easy.

However, if you take the lead in doing things like this, your partner will feel genuine love and, given time, the person that you love will often come around to those things of their own accord.

Take the lead. Do these things. See what builds from it.

Not only will it help your marital life, a strong marital life enhances your financial life and almost every other aspect of your life.

Good luck.

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uncannyvivek · 7 years ago

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The Iceberg #MentalHealthMatters

Welcome to Inside Vivek: a post for Mental Health Awareness Week

Writing about my journey through life with mental health has been a cathartic and liberating process. I’m usually quite hesitant to share my mental health issues, as I’m the type of person who likes to deal with those issues myself.

Speaking honestly regarding #MentalHealthMatters is crucial to facilitate change by breaking down unhealthy societal barriers. This topic is fairly easy to ignore as your mental state is not clearly visible. Similar to an iceberg, 90% of your mind is hidden underneath the surface.

We all have our demons to face, challenges to overcome and our minds to control. Unfortunately, many people have more hardships to cope with in life. A common misconception is that disabled people always have mental health issues connected to their disability, this viewpoint is (generally) incorrect. Disabled individuals face the regular challenges of life along with additional environmental barriers, physical limitations or lack of disability awareness.

Mental Health is not fixed to a singular point in time but a flexible continuum, I consider the baseline emotion to be stability. I try to keep my emotional state quite stable to prevent dramatic fluctuations either up or down. Feeling Anger, Anxiety or Excitement is physically tiring for me. I don't have a large energy store so I have to efficiently manage energy levels. This does not mean that I’m an emotionless being (like Spock from Star Trek) because I do feel joy, excitement, sadness, anxiety & (at certain times) anger.

My tip for a good coping strategy or for staying positive is (I know this will sound clique) but you need to have a good sense of humour. Finding a glimmer of 'funny' in a terrible situation has helped me well over the years - a laugh is much better than feeling bitter or angry.

“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” - Oscar Wilde

Life has been quite challenging for me emotionally, psychologically and physically. On reflection, those earlier challenges have taught me invaluable lessons on emotional resilience, compassion, positivity, independence and self-respect. Without living this life, I would never have grown into the positive and confident man I am today.

I was born with the bleeding disorder Haemophilia so life was already a struggle, I had to be careful not to fall on toys or hurt myself. When I began to show signs of weak muscles I was referred to the neuromuscular consultant in Leicester who for 6 years wrongly diagnosed me with a curable condition called Polymyositis. It was a nightmare for Mum to battle with the consultant to find out what was wrong with her son. I was correctly diagnosed at age 9 which allowed me to access the correct care and finally receive a wheelchair. It was tough coping with the news but finally getting to sit down in a wheelchair and not struggle anymore with walking was welcomed.

I hadn’t fully understood my condition but as my body began to obviously limit my abilities, it hit me like a bus that my muscles would never function properly. I was really depressed/angry at that time so I didn’t care about school, playing with my toys or the future. What was the point of living? It wasn’t fair that other children could walk, run or even have a positive future.

My anger manifested when I couldn't do an activity due to my progressive muscle weakness. I became jealous of my sister being able to do all the activities I couldn't, like riding a bike instead I had to do physiotherapy exercises 3 times a day which were painful, exhausting and boring. The frustrating part was my inability to physically release those pent-up emotions properly. One day when I had an argument with my sister, I got angry so I decided to go to my room, I tried to close the door but instead, my footplate went through the door. That hole in the door is still there to this day as a reminder of what I was like.

“Unfortunately, unless we're focused on building up our courage, which gives us our self-confidence and all that we need to make a quantum change in our lives, the voice of fear will always take the lead inside our minds.” - Debbie Ford

I had to leave the private school I attended because it was not wheelchair accessible so I had to be carried upstairs by the teacher. Leaving my friends was difficult. When I was finally provided with a wheelchair, I moved to a more wheelchair friendly school, I loved school as I made amazing friends (most of them were girls). Funnily enough, I had to say goodbye to friends again because we had to move from Loughborough to a bungalow closer to the Leicester Royal hospital.

I had to close my mind off from the past, psychologically manifesting the physical change I was enduring so I became a different person. I had lost all trace of my old identity, confidence, motivation and future prospects. I no longer thought of myself as a happy or confident boy only an empty shell. It’s only recently that I’ve managed to reunite both parts of myself. It was a difficult achievement as I had to learn to respect & love myself. At the time it sounded like an impossibility.

“Never expect people to treat you any better than you treat yourself.” - Bo Benett

After my diagnosis, my parents got a divorce so Mum had to manage my care and run the home alone. As any child would, I blamed myself for the divorce but looking back it was the best decision for the family.

After scoliosis surgery at age 13, I spent most of my time isolated in my room - literally bed-bound. The reason was that my NHS provided wheelchair was uncomfortable as I was unable to alter my position independently which caused pressure sores and internal bleeds (due to Haemophilia). This meant that I was unable to attend my special needs school, so I was taught at home by the Hospital School whilst waiting to hear if the charity Caldwell Trust would fund my wheelchair. During this period, I learnt a lot about myself as it gave me the chance to look inside myself and try to work through my mental state.

“To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person.“ - Bruce Lee

Attending Ashfield the special needs school in Leicester was good for me as I was around children with similar abilities and I received physiotherapy and hydrotherapy. However, in secondary school, they did not focus on academic achievement as the classes had mixed abilities. I felt that I wasn't pushed enough to reach to my fullest potential, I personally aimed to get 5 GCSEs to enable me to attend my local college. After finally passing my GCSEs I moved on to college, however, the mentality from Ashfield that 'college will be too difficult' was engraved in my mind as I had issues with stringing sentences together and I thought I was not as intelligent as my able-bodied peers. I discovered that my fears were wrong - I could manage. I just wish that I was a student for longer than 2 years.

I battled with low mental health during my transition from children’s services to adult services as I was faced with so many overwhelming decisions. My Social Worker seemed to force me to move out of my family home. I felt that I was not in control of my life and living in the wrong way. This led me to decide to start taking more responsibility for my condition and care rather than relying on my Mum to make decisions. Gaining more autonomy of my life was the crucial transition into adulthood which meant that I was still independent living at home.

My Mum has always been a great support for me throughout life as we can discuss anything. Growing up she always made sure that I live a happy life but also prevented me using my disability as an excuse to behave badly.

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” - Denis Waitley

Losing significant muscle function at certain periods in life has been difficult to cope with especially the loss of respiratory function & hand strength. I do still find those days depressing, having to accept another loss of function is almost like a continuing bereavement process. I now consider Duchenne that annoying friend you can't get rid of so that it is easier to cope with.

I always try to let my negative emotions go by accepting them so that I can look at the loss objectively and try to find a solution. For example, after struggling to carry on gaming using the new PS4 controller I became frustrated and angry as gaming was my main hobby. However, after looking at the issue objectively I began to search for solutions which would help. This research connected me to amazing gaming charities such as ReMap and Special Effect who were able to help. Thanks to facing this problem I now focus my work on improving gaming and assistive technology.

“Small shifts in your thinking and small changes in your energy can lead to massive alterations of your end result.” - Kevin Michel

I'm generally a positive person when I wake up, as I check my mental state, try to understand the reason if I have negative mood and hopefully find a solution to the problem. I'm not suggesting that keeping positive is always easy for me, especially if there isn't a solution available.

As I was growing up it was suggested that I see a Psychologist who could help me to cope and understand my emotions. After a few sessions, I felt that it was not helping me as they could not truly empathise with my condition without living with it. Initially, the sympathy was useful but it only took me so far. Therefore, I realised quite early on that somehow I had to find a way forward by myself. So I started to think of ways to help myself by looking into what I enjoyed doing which was reading. One day I visited the local library and was excited to find a new section filled with comic books. I think I have read every single comic book in Leicester. Suddenly I realised that I was feeling happier whilst reading because I could still physically turn pages or hold a book. My mindset started to shift away from my limitations to focus on things that I could still manage to do. I can no longer hold a book or turn pages but thanks to technology I can read online or on a Kindle eReader.

I think that finding a hobby or interest helps immensely with mental health. My passion for comic books began during my isolation in bed, it gave me the ability to escape my situation. I remember that the first comic I read was Star Wars: Outlander, learning about the Jedi code about controlling emotions such as anger, fear or hate really resonated with the emotions I was battling with inside. Green Lantern taught me the most, as he uses the willpower from his lantern ring to overcome his greatest fears. It's only now that I've realised those comics/superheroes helped me to understand myself, morality and determination thus shaping me into the man I am today.

Through reading comic books I thought that I'd found a perfect coping strategy for anger, if I was reading then I'd feel okay. However this coping strategy was definitely not healthy, it was another way for me to detach from the reality I felt trapped in. I underwent extreme anxiety if I ever had to participate in the 'real' world. So my anger was replaced by anxiety, which affected my body in a different way - it manifested as a stomach ache and nausea.

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Working with Trailblazers the young campaigner's network from Muscular Dystrophy UK at the age of 20 was a big step for me, I was extremely shy, quiet and scared to speak. Trailblazers were really encouraging and gave me faith in myself. I gained vital communication and public speaking skills through active campaigning, asking questions at APPG��s, being interviewed by BBC, ITV Central, Leicester Mercury and Radio Leicester. It led me to win the 2012 Trailblazer of the year award. I'm now an East Midlands regional ambassador for Trailblazers, actively fighting to improve NHS provisions for the disabled community in Leicester.

Muscular Dystrophy UK has provided me with some amazing opportunities for growth over the years from work experience to my continuing work with Microsoft UK. I'm passionate about improving assistive technology from the top of the technology industry – it’s the future.

The next huge leap forward for me was in December 2017 when the Founder & CEO of The Muscle Help Foundation Michael McGrath chose me to become the third Muscle Ambassador, alongside Sulaiman Khan & Leah Booth. The Muscle Help Foundation is a small family charity delivering "personalised, transformative experiences called 'Muscle Dreams' for children and young people with Muscular Dystrophy and connected neuromuscular conditions." Joining the tribe is a big responsibility but the opportunity for professional growth was hard to decline. Learning from Michael McGrath is invaluable, his motivation pushes you to not only make your future better but also the future for the next generation. Interacting/Speaking with fellow ambassadors, families and beneficiaries is why I joined, at that age I would have loved to have met an adult living and achieving with Duchenne. I really look forward to representing the MHF tribe at their annual Porsche Muscle Dream Programme in June.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK-G2tqE2Zc&w=560&h=315]

Recently whilst listening to Michael McGrath's powerful closing talk ‘The Power of the Polar Hug’ at the TEDx 2018 event held at the University of Warwick it struck me that by exposing vulnerability Michael dared to defy fear thus creating a bigger statement to the world. Exposing this truth means that Michael connected with hearts, therefore, the central theme of a hug which is kindness, compassion and love. I've never been able to hug someone for over 15 years, this has made it harder for me to express love especially since I now find smiling tiring. I reflect on those situations where I wish I could have given a hug, we all want that intimacy in our lives. As Human beings, we all need to rely on others, this is not a weakness but a strength. Community support is necessary to help with mental health issues.

“If you always put a limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.“ - Bruce Lee

Thank you for reading - I'd love to hear your story, please comment below!

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