#friend see thru need a friend

[alienkitty259]

we got some new boys

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[p4nishers]

can't believe tom hiddleston ACTUALLY interrupted the interviewer to say "one last thing, i think mobius is loki's friend and i don't think loki has ever had a friend before" like king. i love how u felt the need to add that truly

[stnaf-vn]

Friend Through the Years

[kkaags]

wanted to see how far i could push c+

[oko-yandere-vent]

Frames on HD of the animatic that i did almost a year ago

Support me on Ko-fi

[laywheretheyansrest]

CRAWWWLLLIIINNNGGGG IINNNNN MY SKIIINNNNNNNN

(I wanna do this au I'm just struggling with a) highschool or not and b) if highschool how would CM/Charlie fit)

@stnaf-vn

[kalpalatas]

you know what i love about hirano's writing. when you read sasamiya alone he comes off as the one with like, street smarts and pragmatism in the seniors' little group. then you read hirakagi and realise he has exactly three working brain cells: one for school work, one to think about kagi, and a second one also to think about kagi

[coco-draws0]

[redsm0kee]

He is kinda hot @stnaf-vn

The Emo version of Friend really appeals to me, I think I'll be drawing him for a while🤭

Red

[symptomsofdeceit]

@stnaf-vn saw this so I can post it now! I drew Friend for his birthday (with my chibi sona/mc type character in the bottom right)

[alienkitty259]

Choose your blonde

[spookygirlsthings]

Best kind of dynamic is a yandere with a s/o that doesn’t get how someone could even like them let alone have feelings because they feel so unlovable

[mellsfern]

Yandere Tier List

MINORS DNI

Update 1: Added Damon and DG as they were forgotten!

I made a Tier List for the yandere VNs I love!

I made this Tier list template because I have a friend I want to introduce to Yandere games/projects, so I made a fun way for her to find all of the ones I have recomended her in one post and just interact with the ones she likes.

Play it here!

If you want to see another yan that maybe I forgot or haven't met, introduce them! I can add them (I think)

Tags (To help my friend, and anyone else, find the main pages) IN ORDER (Of the first image with all of them):

@turnthepagevn (Robin the librarian)

@thekrows-nest (Krow the forensic artist)

@gryphons-n-kelpies (Morogh the mysterious sea creature)

@clrdgaze (The next three: Simon, Seth, and Zachary the courier, freelancer, and photographer)

@favorvn (Z the demon)

@applestoashes (Douglas the customer service worker)

@14dayswithyou (The next two: Redacted, and Ren, same person. The hacker)

@hatchetmanofficial (Alan the mysterious forest enjoyer)

@yourdearestboyfriend (Victor the elegant hubby)

@homecomingvn (The next two: Henry and Lyra, the highschool sweethearts from the 80s)

@dualityvn (The next two: Keith and Tenebris Ten, the florist and the games. They share a body but they are not the same person)

@campwillowpeak (Harper, the camp counselor who can cook italian food)

@restartheartvn (Ezra, the one with a mysterious Job title goth-like babe)

@stnaf-vn (Friend the rich childhood friend)

@wouldyoustayvn (Virgil, the multiversal traveler)

Little skip from the next 2.

@you-and-him-vn (Adam the popular celebrity of a boyband)

@yga-vn (Noel YOUR guardian angel)

@in-your-dreams-vn (The next two: Traumfanger and Lynde, your dreamcatcher entity and your sleep therapist)

@wheregodsrotvn (Xeno, the prisoner who committed unknown crimes to humanity)

@inkly-heart (Damon the sweet customer and Delivery Guy (yes, it is their real name) whose work is, delivery! surprise!)

For Sunny day jack and the groom of gallagher (Ghost clown, and ghost groom), you can just check Snaccpop if you want. Only Jack's has a official site:

@sunny-day-jack-official

@snaccpopstudios

Here you have my try! (Just my preferences, I wanna smash them all either way)

In actual order of smashability even in their individuals sections.

[stnaf-vn]

.❤️🔵🌸 NEW CHARACTER SHEETS ❤️🔵🌸. (repost because I messed up a Z's and Diane's sheet, oops-)

.❤️🔵🌸 OC TEMPLATE ❤️🔵🌸.

[proxylynn]

Every birthday I could find for every visual novel character I play on this blog (and the other game characters too)

[Okay, so this is every character's B-Day that pops up here. If I couldn't find it, it's hidden really deep. To make this clear, I'll post them in by series. If there's any I missed, please, tell me about it so I can add them.]

YourBoyfriend/YourGirlfriend:

Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack:

Sunny Day Jack - June 15th, 1958 (Gemini) Ian Duff - March 3rd, 1997 (Pisces) Nicholas “Nick” Herrera - January 18th, 1997 (Capricorn) Shaun Durand-Cofer - October 7th, 1997 (Libra) Barry - ???? ("That’s it. He’s just your manager!")

The Groom of Gallagher Mansion:

Elias Declan Gallagher - April 19th (Aries-Taurus (cusp)) Taylor Anthony Potts - August 24th (Virgo)

DachBo:

Bo - ???? Simoun - ????

Br<3ken Colors:

Ace - ???? Angel - ???? Catherine - ???? Delivery Guy/DG - October 31, Scorpio, Chinese zodiac: Rabbit Diana - ???? Gunther - ???? Janne - ???? Jester - ???? Leevi - ???? (Cancer) Mike - ???? Milla - ???? Mimic/Mic - ???? Pearl - ???? Rasmus - August 13, Leo, Chinese zodiac: Ox Richie - ???? Salvador/Sal - ???? Shadowman - ???? Skye - ???? Stalker (Damon) - January 6, Capricorn, chinese zodiac: Rooster Venni - ????

MalcontentGame:

Malachy Doe/Mal - January 1st "Antichrist" - ???? [There are two more characters but they left the project when things went south, so I won't be including them despite having the info]

JohnDoe:

John Doe - November 35th

FrostBite:

Tate Frost - April 28th Vic - ????

House Hunted:

Maison: ???? (planted in the 60s) Heim: ???? Mayor's Assistant (Ivy) - ????

14 Days With You:

[REDACTED]/Ren - February 14th (Aquarius) Moth - January 2 (Capricorn) Violet Gacia - June 10 (Gemini) Elanor Creston - July 5 (Cancer) Conan O'Rourke - August 27 (Virgo) Jae-Hyun Kim: September 28 (Libra) Leon Davis - November 30 (Sagittarius) Teodore Alvarado - July 29 (Leo) Olivia Dhawan - ????

Angry Boy Pedro and His Friend:

Pedro - ???? (He does not like to remember his birthday or his childhood in general but they plan to tell his birthday in the game)

My Dear Hatchet Man:

Alan Orion - January 14 Stuart Cassidy/Stu - February 6 Erika Vivián Ramos - May 5 James - August 7 Jules - June 22 Claude - November 11 Carver - ???? (doesn't remember his birthday, so he made his birthday December 15) Stitches - April 4th

Lurking for Love:

Jacob Alden: October 26 Austin Lepley - ????

Apples to Ashes:

Douglas Owens - September 20th Xamira Othman - ????

Your Dearest Boyfriend:

Victor A. Anderson - ???? Lizzy - ???? TK - ????

See Thru: Need a Friend?:

[unkown]/Friend - May 10th Z - ???? Carter - ???? Diane - ????

GLASS MIND:

Liu - ???? Dr. Fischer - ???? Nurse Sara Evans - ????

A Double Sided Mirror:

Charlie - April 8th Charles - ???? (possibly Mother's Day) Cameron - ???? Lein - ???? Jeremy - ???? Stella - ???? Jacob - ???? Lucy - ????