#fresh pork neck steaks

[brasilfoodsa]

Fresh Pork Neck Steak | BRF-Brasilfoodsa

The finest fresh pork neck steaks at brf-brasilfoodsa Sourced from raised pigs, our pork neck steaks are known for their juiciness and flavour. They promise a delicious dining experience. Visit brf-brasilfoodsa to explore our selection and enjoy the unmatched taste of quality pork.

[spooniechef]

Brining (0 spoons)

It’s been a rough few weeks in this particular spoonie kitchen, hence the radio silence - I’ve been sticking to known-quantity recipes, most of which I’ve already posted here. However, there’s another trick I thought it’d be worthwhile sharing. This is more of a technique than a recipe, but given where the world in general is at right now, it’s a good one to have in your metaphorical utensils drawer. With the cost of living being what it is, meat’s getting expensive, and while the cheaper cuts aren’t much cheaper, sometimes they’re the difference between “I can get this” and “not in the budget”. The thing is, cheaper cuts are generally tougher, and there’s not always time to slow-cook things. (Also, particularly in the UK where I live, there’s an issue with energy bill inflation and too much slow-cooking makes the energy bill untenable.)

Thus, brining. It doesn’t work with stewing meat or anything like that, but it works wonders on tougher cuts of meat, and can lend just about any meat some nice flavour.

Brining is kind of like marinading, and can sort of go hand-in-hand with marinading, but the general structure of a brine is different to that of a marinade. As the name suggests, it involves salt water. Letting your meat sit in salt water for at least an hour before cooking tenderises the meat and lets a nice salty flavour infuse your meat right from the get-go. Also, you can add just about anything water-soluble to the brine and get some extra flavour. So here are some bullet-pointed notes.

Cuts that need a brining are things like Denver steak, flank steak, pork shoulder, pork or lamb neck. These do tend to be more affordable cuts, but they’re also tougher, and normally get some work with a tenderising mallet. For spoonies, that’s not exactly a good option, hence brining. Beyond that, you can brine just about any kind of meat you like - for example, I find brining chicken leg quarters makes the meat more tender and lends to a crispier skin after cooking.

An hour is the absolute minimum for a brine, and how long it sits in the brine depends on how thick - and how tough - your cut of meat is. For something like flank or shoulder, I’d recommend a couple of hours minimum, and neck cuts probably need an overnight brining.

Amount of salt per bit of water varies depending on how much salt you actually like, but a quarter-cup of salt to a litre (4.5 cups) or so of water should work fine. The water should be lukewarm - not so cold as to not let the salt dissolve, definitely not so hot that it’ll start boiling the meat.

You don’t necessarily have to keep it in the fridge while it’s brining for only an hour or so, but it’s not a bad idea. You should definitely keep it covered while brining. The meat may change colour on the surface a bit; if it does, don’t panic - it’ll be fine.

I add juices and water-soluble spices to a brine more often than not, but note - a little goes a long way. A couple of tablespoons of lemon juice and a quarter-teaspoon of chilli flakes works very well, especially with beef, but you can work with just about any juice, ground spice, and/or crushed fresh herbs (also garlic cloves). Dried herbs don’t work as well, but can help if you’re brining for a long time. You can technically use a drop or two of tabasco sauce, but that’s about the limit - if you start adding too many sauces like soy sauce etc, it becomes a marinade and the brining doesn’t work as well to make the meat less tough. It wants to be mostly salt water.

So there’s another trick for the utensil drawer. This coming month, I’ve got plans towards more batch cooking in the “some variety of meat pie” direction, and possibly chilli.

[travelindannok]

Discovering Dannok, Sadao: What to Do and Where to Go

Introduction

Hi everyone! Today, we have some great stories to share. If you're looking for a chill place to visit not far from Hat Yai, we highly recommend checking out "Dannok, Sadao." This place isn't just about crossing the border to Malaysia; it also offers wonderful natural, family-friendly, and cultural attractions. If you're here for a passport run and have a day to spare, you can explore some amazing spots in Sadao. In this article, we'll introduce some fantastic places to visit in Dannok, Sadao. Let's dive in and see what's in store!。

Natural Attractions

If you're looking to enjoy some beautiful nature in Sadao, here are three must-visit spots:

Khao Songkhlak

Khao Songkhlak offers a spectacular viewpoint where you can see lush forests and the Thai-Malaysian border stretching as far as the eye can see. It's especially stunning at sunset when the golden light makes the scenery even more breathtaking. The cool breeze invites you to relax and enjoy a long picnic while soaking in the atmosphere. How to Get There: From Sadao town, drive southwest for about 30 kilometers on Highway 4 to reach Khao Songkhlak viewpoint.

Khao Lae

Khao Lae is a sacred site for the locals, believed to be the residence of the revered goddess Lim Ko Niao. It's said that those who pay respects here will find success and fulfillment in their wishes. Besides its spiritual significance, the hilltop offers a panoramic view of Sadao town. Though you'll need to climb several steps to get there, the view makes the effort worthwhile. How to Get There: Khao Lae is about 3 kilometers northeast of Sadao town. Drive along Kanjanavanich Road and turn left into Wat Khao Lae Alley, then continue a bit further to reach the destination.

Cultural Attractions

Besides natural beauty, Sadao also boasts some fascinating cultural sites. Here are two highlights for those traveling with family or interested in local culture:

Khao Rup Chang Cave Temple

This ancient temple, known for its unique stalactites and stalagmites resembling the mythical elephant Airavata, has been a spiritual center for over a hundred years. The cave houses several sacred Buddha images for worship, making it a deeply revered place among locals.

Wat Hua Thanon

Wat Hua Thanon is another historic temple where King Rama V once stayed during his visit to the Malay Peninsula in 1908. The temple features significant religious artifacts, including a large seated Buddha, a replica of the Buddha's footprint, and a Bodhi tree grown from a sapling of the original tree in Bodh Gaya. It's believed that paying respects here brings blessings and prosperity.

Cafes and Restaurants

Now, let’s move on to some delicious eats in Sadao. This area not only has beautiful sights but also great cafes and restaurants to try. Here are some places you shouldn’t miss:

BAKE&CRAVE

Start with "BAKE&CRAVE," a cozy, minimalistic cafe with plenty of Instagram-worthy spots. Their must-try dish is the Strawberry Honey Toast, a delightful combination of crispy toast topped with fresh strawberries and drizzled with honey.

Courtyard Coffee And Bistro 

Next, visit "Courtyard Coffee And Bistro," an elegant cafe in a European-style garden setting. They offer a variety of dishes, including steaks, pizzas, and pastas. The relaxed atmosphere and ample parking make it a perfect spot to chill.

Godangnam Cafe

Check out "Godangnam Cafe," a riverside spot with a vintage warehouse vibe. Their specialty is the fragrant Oolong bubble tea and various types of waffles. It's an ideal place to enjoy tea, snacks, and a scenic river view.

Malmoke Restaurant

For hearty meals, "Maimoke Restaurant" serves authentic Thai cuisine. Their signature dishes include the flavorful yellow curry with fresh seabass and spicy basil stir-fry with tender pork neck. The rich flavors are sure to please any curry lover.

Niyom Rod Dannok Restaurant

Finally, "Niyom Rod Dannok Restaurant" is a local favorite for its spicy Southern Thai dishes like fish kidney curry, sour curry, fried fish with fish sauce, and spicy stir-fried catfish. The bold flavors are a must-try for anyone visiting Sadao.

Conclusion

As you can see, Dannok, Sadao has plenty of great places to explore and enjoy. Many locals may not even be aware of all these hidden gems. If you're planning a passport run, make sure to check out some of these spots. We hope this article helps you find some new places to add to your must-visit list in Sadao. Safe travels and happy exploring!

How to book

Hotel link: Click here

Trip link: Click here

Traveloka link: Click here

Booking link: Click here

Google Maps Link >> Click Here

[chadwick211]

11 Top Wines that You Must Have for Parties

Serving the best wines at a party can be as exciting as serving favorite liquors. Wine is a great choice for entertaining because of its versatility. Adding salads and steaks to a good white wine should enhance its flavor.

What are the top wines you should include in your list? Sendgifts provides some great tips on choosing the right wine for your picnic or party in this article.

Sendgifts is an online liquor store in the US that caters to those who want affordable wines online as well as those who enjoy experimenting with new wines. By carefully evaluating flavors, our wine delivery service puts the customer first.

 Top Wines for Parties

Whatever type of party you're planning, choosing the right wine is essential.

Here are some of our best wine collections:

 1. Pinot Noir

A bold red fruit with earthy flavors pairs well with pork, steak, game, and poultry.

Pairing Tips: Allow this Pinot noir wine to breathe for at least 15 minutes before serving. Slowly unwind the wire cage over the bottle's neck to prevent oxidation. Due to its low tannin content, it is suitable for serving in a casual setting. Pinot Noir is perfect to accompany meats such as fish, chicken or duck, as well as mushrooms and soft cheeses.

 2. Riesling

With its clean acidity and sweeter notes, this white wine pairs well with almost anything.

Pairing Tips: Unlike some wines, Riesling wine should not be decanted for hours before serving��it would ruin its delicate character. Instead, remove the cork and gently ease out the wire cage over the wine's neck. Give it 15 minutes to breathe at room temperature before serving. Pair with light appetizers like cheese or seafood.

 3. Sauvignon Blanc

Sauvignon wine is high in acidity and pairs well with poultry, herb-roasted chicken, and pan-seared fish.

Pairing Tips: This is another wine that's best decanted, so remove the cork 15 minutes before serving. To prevent oxidation, gently remove the wire cage from the bottle's neck. To enjoy its crisp flavors, serve it slightly chilled.  

 4. Merlot

Merlot wine has a soft tannins and complex aromas of berries, cherries, and spice. This makes it great pair with red meats like lamb or bison.

Pairing Tips: When you're ready to serve, unwind the wire cage slowly but firmly (to prevent oxidation) from the bottle's neck. Merlot pairs well with a variety of foods, including shellfish and vegetables.

 5. Vouvray

The aromas of honeysuckle and green apple in this Vouvray wine are very pleasant and it is best served chilled with spicy food, such as Cajun-rubbed steaks or Chinese cuisine.

Pairing Tips: This wine needs to be chilled all the way down before serving. You can keep the bottle in an ice bucket for a few hours before drinking it to keep its crisp flavor.

 6. Pinot Grigio

Pinot Grigio is an all-around white from the Pacific Northwest that's known for its nutty flavors and citrus notes.

Pairing Tips: Try light pastas and rice dishes with lots of herbs, fresh green salads and vegetables, chicken and turkey, and fish and seafood. Add a couple of slices of lemon and lime and several pieces of seasonal fruit like raspberries or blackberries.

 7. Malbec

Most Malbec wines are smooth with jammy fruit flavor and savory notes of black cherry, pomegranate, plum, raspberry, and raisin. There are also hints of coffee, leather, tobacco, molasses, and black pepper.

Pairing Tips: You'll find Malbec a great match for steak, pork, and lamb, as well as fattier fish like salmon and poultry with dark meat. Game meat like bison, ostrich, and venison are also a safe bet. In addition to meat pairings, consider foods with richer sauces or more vibrant flavors.

 8. Chardonnay

Chardonnay wine varies in flavor based on the climate in which it grows. Depending on how ripe the grapes get, the flavor ranges from citrus and green apple, to overripe peach and canned pineapple.

Pairing Tips: Pairing chardonnay with foods that are creamy, light, and simply seasoned are going to be the best way to compliment the wine. You’ll also want to avoid more acidic foods like tomatoes, as the acidity of the food will make the wine taste sour.

 9. Cabernet Sauvignon

A beautifully crafted Cabernet Sauvignon, particularly smooth and fresh. Its seductive aromas of cherry and blackberry are followed by delicate plum and chocolate notes. A really well-balanced red wine, with refreshing acidity and a memorable finish.

Pairing Tips: Cabernet Sauvignon is best with nearly all red meat, including prime rib, New York strip and filet mignon. Also try lamb or pepper- crusted ahi tuna. The wine is best enjoyed with food and is great in sauces or reductions.

 10. Zinfandel

With aromas of dark fruits and peppermint, this crowd-pleasing red wine is perfect for casual get-togethers.

Pairing Tips: Zinfandel wine pairs beautifully with barbeque, spicy foods, smoked cheeses and tangy flavors, but is also easy to enjoy on its own.

 11. Barbera d’Alba

Barbera wine has notes of strawberry and sour cherry: flavors synonymous with light-bodied wines. Light tannin and high acidity make it taste 'Juicy'. Most of the Barbera you'll find is from Italy which leans towards more herbaceous flavors.

Pairing Tips: Given the high acidity, fatty foods work beautifully with Barbera wine. Think red meats and even salmon is a gorgeous pairing. Also because of the acidity, barbera wine pairs well with pasta with a simple pasta in red sauce or a marinara.

 Conclusion

Wine is the key to any party. Order wine online to stock up on all the top wines from Sendgifts that your guests won't bring, so you can surprise them with a new drink they haven't tried before. You'll have tons of fun at your next get-together!

[freakyama]

How would Shuu usually cook his victims? (General rules for what he does with certain parts or certain body types, e.g. skin is fried to be served as a side dish if the victim has a lot of fat in certain spots, maybe?? Idk sorry if this is a bit weird or comes off as offensive to anyone, I’m genuinely curious if you have any headcanons in these areas lol)

NO THATS NOT WEIRD AT ALL I LOVE TALKING ABT CANNIBALISM /srs

I have a few ideas for this actually! Tho, I am a vegan and I only rly know how to cook vegan food, so I had to do a bit of research here.

A headcanon of mine that comes to mind straight away tho is that I don’t think Shuu’s very wasteful. I think he uses most of or all of a body, and sometimes doesn’t even kill his victims.

I think that bc when we first meet him in TG, he only takes his victim’s eyes. He doesn’t kill her. It’s never rly explained why he did that, and he hasn’t gone through his development yet, so for me, that tells me that he has some sort of disdain for waste.

Because of that, I think he’d probably utilize as much food as possible from a victim. This could include making broths from bones, or more likely, jellies, which could be flavoured with blood or something. Also, potentially breast milk jelly for a desert?

In general, I think Shuu would use a variety of methods to cook his food. Each human is unique in their own way, so probably require a unique preparation method!

I think with excess fat, he might use it to make oils. Which he might use to fry things, such as skin. He might also use fat in place of where humans would use butter. A meal that comes to mind is like…a calf steak or something?

If a human has a fairly usual balance of muscle and fat, I could see it being used as pretty regular steaks and stuff, maybe he’d shred it too. Like pulled pork!

If a victim was more muscular, then I think certain parts require different cooking methods. Like, I don’t think you fry a leg, so he might cut it smaller and marinate it, or simply roast larger body parts.

I think arm meat would make for an easier cut of meat to be turned into steak or smaller pieces. And for something like ribs, I guess that’s the same as animal ribs, but he’d probably have to marinate it too.

I also think he’d marinate certain body parts that might not be as appealing, like genitalia? (Though I think he’d use ovaries like caviar!)

The marinade itself is probably a mix of oils, blood, and other bodily fluids (yes, i do mean spunk).

I think the rest of the torso could be made into larger steaks, minced, shredded, or maybe carved! (I’m thinking of those big meat sticks they have in kebab shops, where they carve it as it rotates?). Meat from the shoulder probably also gets similar treatment.

Neck meat seems kinda bony to me though? Like I just think eating a human neck would be like eating a big, bony fish. (That could be completely wrong, I’ll update u when I find my next victim xxx)

For this reason, I think it might be used in a broth or soup! I also think small appendages such as fingers and toes would be used to add flavor to broth & soup. They’re probably too small to be effectively utilized in other ways, but I could see him maybe using fingers a bit like a pre-made mini kebab?

(Things like the head and facial features would also probably be best utilized in a broth. I guess you could scrape some meat off the head but I guess it’s not really a plentiful area? Aside from cheek meat? Idk)

I think he might cure certain victims too. Maybe if he had a victim of an older age, after eating some of it fresh, he might cure other parts to further age it and enrich the flavor. This cured meat could then be taken as a snack.

It’s also possible that he eats certain parts of the body raw. I don’t know why, but I think he would eat eyes raw. They could also be put into broths, or maybe chopped and added as flavoring to other dishes.

Now, onto the tongue! Unlike the rest of the head, tongues are pretty big! Humans use cow tongue in a variety of ways, so I think Shuu would probably have fun with tongues (never thought i would say that in a non-sexual context wow).

Tongue can be boiled, roasted or braised like normal meat. It can also be tinned and pickled! Or again, it can be used in a broth or just as a steak!

I feel like I just wrote a lot and it still didn’t cover everything, aha. I hope this was okay ☺️☺️ I didn’t even get into how he’d eat certain organs and stuff. That might have to be a part 2 or something lmao 😭😭😭😭

(Also i think i think abt cannibalism way too much. the gore fetish came out with this post huh 😳😳😳)

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Tap Out Job

leverage 2.02

Jack: Somebody drugged his water. It's an old boxing trick. He couldn't defend himself, and... He's still in the hospital.

that’s fucked

- - - - -

Eliot: It's not a cockfight. All right? Let me show you something, Hardison. Come here. Can I borrow you? (puts a gentle hand on Parker’s hip, guiding her to the open space behind the couch) All right. Square up. Remember what I showed you?

(Hardison and Parker square up)

Hardison: Are you...

Eliot: There's three phases to an MMA--to an MMA fight, okay? One, striking. (Parker punches Hardison in the face) Nice. Next is grappling, the takedown. (Parker grabs Hardison and throws him on the floor) Exactly. All right. The third one is jujitsu. Okay, try to isolate a joint. (Parker gets Hardison in a hold) That's good. That's a textbook armbar, Parker. Put some pressure on there.

Parker: Like this?

Eliot: There you go. Or you can go for a choke hold.

Hardison: She got to be choking me. (tries to get away)

Eliot: Remember that thing that I showed you?

Parker: Oh, yeah. The choke.

Eliot: Lock that in. All right. You don't have to hold the arm. See, that's a triangle choke. That's nasty. Puts pressure on his carotid artery, and the guy will submit by tap out.

Hardison (tapping the ground): Eliot, I'm tapping! I'm tapping!

Eliot: These fights are won by inches, I'm telling you.

Hardison: I can't breathe!

Eliot: All about leverage.

Sophie: Yeah, it looks really painful.

Hardison: It is painful!

Nate: No TV deal, you said, huh? Hardison, what are this guy's other interests, this Rucker guy?

Hardison: Seriously, you ask me a question right now...

Sophie: I'll take that. Yeah, rotary club, golf membership.

Nate: Golf, huh?

Hardison: Help me!

Sophie: Yeah. I mean, this guy's like a 1950s sitcom character. He plays a weekly game with the local businessmen. In fact, last year, he won the club championship.

Nate: Did he? Hmm.

Hardison: Let me go!

Nate: I guess it's...

Hardison: She's killing me!

Nate: …it's time to hit the links.

Hardison: I'm cool. Just let me go real quick.

eliot canonically teaches parker how to fight in his spare time and I LOVE THAT

fucking CHAOTIC OT3 + parker is having a great time while hardison is dying

ALSO can we just for a minute appreciate how when she puts him in a chokehold she was wrapping her legs around his neck, which basically had his head in her crotch area and !!! it wasn’t sexualized at al !!! literally A N Y other show would have sexualized it even just a little bit but not leverage. never leverage.

- - - - -

I love it when they fuck with peoples gear (like with the baseballs or hockey pucks or in this instance the golf balls)

- - - - -

parker playing with the golf club covers

- - - - -

literally EVERY con has nate being an asshole (this one was one of the more annoying ones tho)

- - - - -

hi I am but a simple bi and eliot in that grey hoodie was VERY attractive

- - - - -

Room Service: Room service. Can I help you?

Sophie: Yeah, no, I can't eat this. I'm sorry?

Everything on my plate is yellow.

Room Service: It's chicken-fried steak.

Sophie: It's what? Chicken-fried steak?

Room Service: Yes.

Sophie: No, let me just tell you, all right. Meat should never be used as an adjective.

~ a little while late ~

Sophie: I'm starving.

Parker: I found these in the minibar. (throws her a bag)

Sophie: "Pork Rinds"? How do you peel a pig? (throws it back)

- - - - -

Hardison: Got it. See, Online video websites, they track viewer hits by IP Address, so the trick is to just spoof a bunch of IPs, then write a script that lets you browse the video page via the proxy list and...

- - - - -

Sophie: Well, this guy, he just--he give me the creeps.

Eliot: We've gone up against rougher dudes than this before.

Sophie: I know. But it's this whole treating people as commodities. This whole barbaric sport.

Eliot: Hey, don't lump these guys in with Rucker. All right, he's not what the sport's about.

Sophie: Eliot, this "sport" is about two guys beating the crap out of each other.

Eliot: MMA fighters act with more respect than any other athlete I've seen.

Sophie: Yeah, they're "Braveheart," I get it.

Eliot: No, you don't. These guys don't fight because they like hurting other people, all right. They fight to gain some sort of control over their opponents, over their environment, over their lives. Have you seen this town? Huh? The farms are drying up. The only stores are bail bondsmen and pawn shops, and there's nothing they can do about it. So, yeah, they get in the ring and try not to let it all suffocate them. (a beat, he smiles) And it's about two guys beating the crap out of each other. (she smiles back)

- - - - -

eliot is wearing a green flannel in this one and it looks very nice and comfy

- - - - -

Rucker: Well, bottom line is, you need good product. What event are you here to produce?

[Interior Van]

Hardison: On it. There's a tractor pull in grand island, a livestock show in council bluffs, white people doing other white things…

pls keep calling out white people pls we deserve it lmfao

- - - - -

Director (in car looking at his phone): Come on! Come on! Give me something! Come on! Is this gonna take long?

Nate (through window): No. Two shakes. Are you in a hurry?

Director: Even half a bar... what? Yes. Hurry. Does anyone in this backwater hellhole know what that means?

Nate: You're a director, right? What was your name again?

Director: What? It's Laurence. Todd Laurence.

Nate: Todd, well, listen, Mr. Laurence. See, I wrote a script...

Director: Huh?

Nate: Yeah. It's about a limo driver who solves mysteries till his wife leaves him for --

Director: For the love of god!

Nate: ...the best part: The feed store manager. Right? His wife…

Director: Yeah...?

Nate: Tramp...

Director: Hey, hee-haw, move the car! Okay

- - - - -

parker in leather pants, a bright yellow ‘I heart Nebraska’ tshirt and weird hat, eating a corn dog? ,,,a look I guess

- - - - -

Hardison (showing passes): So, I'm Todd Laurence? (girls flock to Hardison) Ladies, please, look. For the last time, I am not the tailback for the cornhuskers. Go! I don't even know what a cornhusker is.

- - - - -

Rucker: And all you need is a product?

Sophie: Well, that's what they are: Products. You get the girls with Trianna, you get the boys with MMA. And there's always another fresh-faced princess ready to go through the singing/dancing mill in Florida. Occasionally, we let one be a lesbian, keeps the press on their toes

- - - - -

Hardison: What? What? W-what was I supposed to do? It was cousin Jimmy.

Sophie: He's right. We couldn't have planned for that.

Hardison: Look, you know what I can do? I can re-task a satellite, I can get a level 3 NSA clearance, but I can't hack a hick

- - - - -

Eliot: All right, it doesn't matter. What do we do now?

Parker: We can move the Howorth.

Eliot: We're not moving the Howorths. All right? This is their home. That means something to people here.

Sophie: Yeah, we can't babysit them forever.

Nate: We've taken out bigger players than this. You know, there's got to be some way, something we can...

Eliot: No, no! I take the dive.

Sophie: You sure?

Hardison: Give me some time, okay? I've found some funny business in Rucker's accounts. I can move some things.

Eliot: Forget the fact that we just got beat by Barney Fife, all right? This is the right move. Tactically it's the right move. You all know that. (walks away)

none of them want to see eliot hurt more than he needs to or see him go down like that and I cry

alec ‘give me five minutes I will do literally anything for eliot’ hardison

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey. Listen, you-you don't have to do this, you know. Nate's gonna come up with something.

Eliot: I'm losing a fight, Sophie. I'm not diving on a grenade. I'll be all right.

Sophie: Yeah, I know. I'm not talking physically.

Eliot: I think my ego can handle it.

Sophie: Look, you told me that it's about control, about knowing that you're never gonna be the victim. And that's what keeps you going, right?

Eliot: You think I'm upset 'cause I got to let this guy kick my ass? I learned a long time ago, you can't control the violence. I can take the punishment. That's what I do. What I need to control is not out there. (touches his chest) It's here. Always.

(Sophie smiles and walks away)

- - - - -

hardison holds eliots face before he fights I never noticed that before

+ eliot’s hair is curly when it’s wet/when he’s sweaty. this means he blowdries his hair on a regular basis. eliot, as a part of taking control of himself and his life after moreau took interest in self care and taking care of his hair in this essay I will-

- - - - -

one thing I love about this is that eliot doesn’t have a six pack (see this commentary I made with a few lovely additions by my mutuals)

- - - - -

Jack: Where's Rucker?

Hardison: Oh, the Iowa State Police just got a tip that a fugitive is headed into their jurisdiction. And I'm pretty sure crossing state lines with a bag full of cash won't look too good.

Parker: Especially when they find the little surprise in his trunk.

[Flashback, Pawn Shop]

Parker: I need guns. (dumping money on counter) $6,000 worth. And one of those.

LMFAO THERE WAS A TUBA TOO

- - - - -

Doctor (examining Eliot): You took a hell of a pounding. We should get you a CT scan. You could have internal bleeding.

Jack: You let yourself get hammered like that on purpose? That's a hell of a lot of punishment to take.

Sophie: That's what he does.

- - - - -

eliot held the rope up for parker to step under when they were getting out of the ring

- - - - -

Sophie (to Parker): Pork rind? They're actually pretty good. (parker shakes her head and rubs her stomach) You sure?

sophie nO

[minsyal]

[Mutual Feelings Pt. 13, Revali x Reader]

Author’s Note: I ain’t sorry. 

Summary: Who knows? We can only go up from here, right?

“No.” You called out to whoever was knocking. The knocking persisted despite you barricading the door with stacks of books and unused chairs that had been left in the hall days prior. Ink dribbled across your desk, large blobs of black liquid obscured your old workpapers that were now crumbled and torn. They didn’t matter anymore.

The old book given to you laid open on the board in front of you. Its pages were tattered and picked at, ripping slightly at every seam and corner. It had to be in here somewhere. Keumi had passed a few weeks ago and you hadn’t bothered to return to the Village as facing Seoi was something you had no desire to do. The least you could do for her was stay away. Afterall, that is what she wanted.

“Open up!” It was a male’s voice, Revali. He had been visiting often after the incident. The majority of the time, he was already on the grounds for Champion-related events and had found your room at the direction of a few gossiping maids. The talk had taken an upward spike in the castle after your return. Very few would stop you, but those that would always asked about your relations to Revali. It wasn’t any of their business. Plus, nothing was official. Nothing was going on.

“No.” You repeated with the same monotone sound.

“Then I’ll break the door down.” The door began shaking, almost comically. The hinges creaked and squeaked as the handle juggled this way and that as the assailant attempted to grant himself entrance. The nob turned and stopped, then turned the other direction. “Excuse me?” He must be speaking to someone outside. His voice became muffled as you assumed he walked away, possibly giving up. You should have known him better than that by now.

You traced the map in front of you, a small line linking your route in the desert to the other locations of materials you gathered for the elixir. Everything had been done exactly to the “t” as per the book’s instructions. How could it have gone so horribly wrong? You had been trying to contact this supposed “medicine man,” but each and every Zora you spoke to couldn’t identify where he resided nor where he was currently. The bowl the elixir had been made in was encased in glass in the corner of your room. The cage you used in the desert was next to it. Maybe you had miscalculated something there? Perhaps the material used to encase the flower was incorrect… or maybe there wasn’t enough water flow.

Shaking your leg at a swift pace, you studied the excess materials. The minerals were all fine, they were typical ones used in medicine. The greenery was fresh when used, now dried and pinned to the wall. You groaned, squeezing your eyes shut to ward off the third headache of the day. It wasn’t even lunch yet, just past breakfast in fact.

“I hope you don’t me letting myself in.” Revali stepped through your window, a gust of wind swirling the loose papers around the room.

“Revali!” You rose to your feet, jumping to grasp every paper. He paid no mind, trotting over to the unmade bed where he sat down and crossed one leg over the other. His eyes scanned the room, he had never been in here before. Your desk was a mess, stacked high with new books and papers while older ones were stacked in front of the door. The bed he was sat on was inlaid into the wall, a few trinkets were posted and sat on shelves. He noticed the drawing of him you had done around the time the two of you first met, the extensive studies on the Divine Beasts, and the group photo you had been left out of at the time.

“Good to see you too.” He chuckled, making himself comfortable. “When did you last sleep?”

Too homed in on your work, you brushed him off.

“When did you last eat?” Persisting, he kicked one leg over the other and continued ruffling up your blankets. “When are you going to answer your lover?”

Eyes wide, you shot him a confused look only to get a proud one in return. He gave you a tight-lipped grin, closing his eyes. “We aren’t together.”

“The castle gossip travels fast. According to everyone out there, we are.”

“Well, we aren’t.” You turned back around and focused on a small passage hand-written in the book.

“Whatever you say, but that’s not my opinion on it.” He hummed. “Clear this out from your door while I’m away. I’ll be back.” He motioned to the junk near the door. Kicking some stuff from his path, he pried the door open and left.

While there is currently no evidence of the ability for revival from death, it has been recorded in legend regarding the Goddess Hylia and the Hero. Given this knowledge, there is chance that this phenomena is existent in Hyrule. Mouthing the words as you read, you groaned. There was nothing telling  you what to do. You had been attempting to find a way to bring her back since you got back to the castle after her death. Nothing was turning up.

The attacks on travelers and villages rose as the Calamity’s power grew. Red ash would rise from the ground some nights, the clouds would rush as if in a hurricane, and low growls could be heard echoing from the castle’s depths. The moon would turn blood red on nights like these. Nobody would go out.

Another ceremony was scheduled for tonight, but you had no intent of attending. The King had never required you be present for any of them, only present when he needed updated information on how the scientist’s research was coming. You hadn’t heard from Purah or Robbie in a few weeks. It was hard to when they didn’t live on castle grounds.

The book turned up no trails to follow, no leads to take. Tossing it aside, you scrapped everything on your desk relating to Keumi. It was over. She wasn’t coming back. Throwing your window open, you let the cool air flow in and swirl around the cramped room. Laughter resonated from the upper levels; the stomping of feet signaled they had just begun their celebrations. The rich aromas of mouth-watering dishes were swept through the air, a sweet smell blanketing the area.

With a renewed sense of direction, you grabbed everything you had relating to your updates on the Divine Beasts. Opening the book you kept on Medoh, you began writing. In the margin, you wrote: Resurrection = possibility?

Revali wandered the halls as he attempted to recall his way to your room through the maze of sprawling entryways. He passed kitchen staff carrying platters of steaming-hot foods. Snatching a plate from one of them, he continued on his way. Finally arriving at his destination, he tried the door. To his surprise, it gave way with ease.

“Still buried in work, I see.” He looked more put together than he typically did. A new garb was wrapped around his figure, dawning the blue color of royalty and the crest. His old one was hidden beneath it. It was far gaudier than his original. Gold speckled the trim, thin silver chains were attached to shoulder pieces, and his braids were done differently.

“Here.” The plate clacked against the wood of your desk. “Now, I need to get this off. It’s rather…” he racked his head for the words he wanted, “not me.”

Metal clinks rained down upon the room as his shoulder pieces and the new garb landed in a pile along with your discarded work. A plate clanked against your desk, its smell alluring. Tearing your focus from your papers, you eyed the plate. It was steaming. A perfectly grilled pork steak sat on wild greens with a side of rice from Hateno. The smaller plate held a slice of decadently rich chocolate cake that looked to have been prepared just minutes ago. Caramelized sugar dripped over the sides, gliding down to the chocolate shell below.

“Would you mind undoing these?” His braids whipped around in your face as he turned his back to you. “I would, but I don’t want to.” He continued speaking as you moved to detangle the intricate designs. “You know, the ceremony was as dull as ever. I had searched the crowd for you, but I suppose expecting you to breach these walls was rather idiotic of me.” He tossed his head to the side, eyeing you. “Have you had enough tea lately? Have your teeth gone yellow yet?” When you didn’t respond, he continued on. “I do really think you need to rest more. Your lack of sleep is troublesome.”

“I’m fine.” You finished the last braid, leaving the ribbon strewn into it on the floor.

“You’re not. You need sleep…” he pondered for a moment, taking a deep breath before stating, “Keumi would want that.”

The beating of your heart thrummed in your chest loudly. Your breathing stopped, catching in your throat, suffocating you. A cold sweat broke out upon your brow and at the nape of your neck. Your determination turned to anger as you pushed yourself up to your desk, turning your back on Revali. “Don’t talk about her.”

“It’s what she would have wanted, and you know that.” He approached the back of your chair, the heat radiating from his body only adding to how uncomfortable you had become. Your leg bounced up and down as you attempted to work out the tension that grew within you. It felt as if vines were climbing up your spine.

“Revali, stop.”

“No.” A firm grip held your shoulder as he attempted to tug you around to face him. “Face me and listen. She didn’t die so you could sulk around here all day.”

You had enough. Pushing up from your chair, you disregarded it as it went tumbling to the floor. “Shut up!” More than anything you wanted to slap him. You wanted him to go away and never come back. Why was he here anyway? What did he really care?

“You need to listen to me. Quit acting like a child. That will get you nowhere.”

“She wouldn’t have died if I hadn’t tried something so risky!” You jerked your shoulder away from his grasp and immediately began gathering a few notebooks in your arms.

“You did what you had to!” He said firmly, stepping to block your exit.

“I did something stupid and I ruined a family.” You choked back the tears that were brimming your eyes. “They’ll never get that back, Revali. It’s all my fault.” You had grown considerably quiet, almost whispering.

“It’s not.” His tone had weakened a bit, his stance was softer. “Come here.”

Crashing into his arms was more comforting than you had expected. He rubbed circles into your back as he walked the two of you over to the bed. “We’re going to fix this.”

“How?” Your words were muffled by his thick coat.

___________________________________________________________ 

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice called as the door creaked open. Revali’s head rose from his spot on the bed.

“Yes?” He called back, keeping his tone hushed. A gentle wing covered your head, stroking your hair down. The motion coaxed soft snores from you and put a loving smile on his face.

“The King requests your presence in the dining hall, sir.”

“Give the King my deepest apologies, but I have to decline.” A moment passed as the guard pondered what to do. He was taken aback by Revali’s answer, expecting him to join him in an instant.

“Of course.”

The door closed as a hushed silence fell upon the room once more. It had grown dark in the castle, the only light in your room came from the candles that threatened to extinguish themselves in the melted wax below. The papers remained scattered across the floor along with the chair that was still overturned. The meal he had brought had grown cold, hardening with each passing hour. But none of that mattered.

What mattered was what lay softly upon his chest, breathing deeply as exhaustion finally gave in. What mattered was the little moments that prospered from your twisted and tangled history. What mattered was the way Revali’s chest swelled when he thought of you and how his heart grew as he finally admit something to himself. It was true.

[obligatorycoffee]

Safe meat for carnivorous kin/theriotypes

@necrophagist (sorry for the @! I can un-@ you if you want 😎) posted recently about more authentic ways to satisfy 'kin cravings, particularly meat-related ones. Considering my kintype is an obligate carnivore, I think a lot about meat. Specifically rare muscle meat and organ meat. I’ve never really shared what I look for in a safe meat to satisfy my cravings, so I figured it was time to share the food I consider when I’m feeling shifty.

I’ve worked as a chef or some variety of food service worker for a good seven years of my life (although that doesn’t make me an expert), and this is what I generally regard as safe if cooked properly (note some of these cooking temps are lower than what the USDA recommends). I’ve included a note on each one as to whether it needs to be cooked prior to consumption. Remember, the less cooked an animal product is, the more likely you are to contract food poisoning. Usually a quick Google will give you a safe recipe for any of these foods. If you want tips on how to cook something safely, please send me an ask!

The following list contains meat and animal products that are often easily accessible (i.e. I've found most of these at my local Walmart) in the United States, plus some less common ones. Please add on if you have any easily accessible meats in other countries that I haven’t covered.

Red meat

Beef liver - Cook

If you eat this regularly, watch your vitamin A intake. Liver is extremely high in vitamin A, which accumulates in your body, unlike water soluble vitamins like vitamin C

Beef tongue - Cook

Oxtail - Cook

Bone-in steak - Cook

Ribs (beef or pork) - Cook

Lamb shanks - Cook

Beef soup bones - Cook

Occasionally contain marrow...and often extremely cheap!

Great for making bone broth

Cured sausage - No cook

Salami, pepperoni, summer sausage etc.

Poultry

Chicken liver - Cook

Like beef liver, watch your vitamin A intake if you eat this regularly

Chicken gizzards - Cook

Whole chicken - Cook

Sometimes contains giblets like liver, heart, gizzards, and neck...check the packaging and it should tell you

Skin-on chicken parts - Cook

Peel the skin off, salt it, and fry it like bacon!

Whole turkey - Cook

Especially easy to find in the United States around Thanksgiving

These will take multiple hours to cook, fyi

Fish

Whole fish - Cook

Make sure these are gutted before cooking

Skin-on salmon or trout fillets - Cook

Because these species have small soft scales, you can eat the skin, and it’s delicious if you fry it and salt it!

Canned fish with bones and skin - No cook

Anchovies, sardines, salmon, etc.

Pickled herring - No cook

Smoked fish - No cook

Often salmon, trout, or whitefish

Dried baby anchovies - No cook

Usually sold at Asian food stores

Raw, de-boned fish sold at sushi counters - No cook

Fish sold at sushi counters is frozen at very low temperatures to kill parasites. Please let your grocery store/fishmonger do this step for you, as many home freezers cannot reach these low temps.

Other animal products not as easy to find

Blood sausage - Cook

Sometimes at delis or specialty stores

Fresh pig's blood - Cook

Often at your local butcher if you have one

Irradiated eggs - No cook

These eggs are irradiated (it's safe!) to kill any pathogens present in them

Whole rabbit - Cook

Often found at farmer's markets

Beef/pork/mutton organs - Cook

Kidneys, brain, heart, trotters, tripe, lungs, etc. (often at your local butcher)

Game meats - Cook

Venison, wild ducks/geese/pheasant, elk, bear, etc.

Sometimes sold in specialty shops, or buddy up to a hunter. Wild game isn't screened for parasites like commercial meat is, so take extra precautions if you're consuming wild meat.

Again, if you have any questions or want to know why I included/didn't include something on the list, let me know! Stay safe folks.

[brasilfoodsa]

How Do I Enhance Pork Steaks?

To enhance your Fresh Pork Neck Steaks, consider marinating them in a mix of garlic, soy sauce, and herbs. For an extra flavor boost, sear on high heat to lock in juices, then finish cooking on a lower setting. Visit brf-brasilfoodsa for more delicious pork recipes and tips to make every meal unforgettable

[chezzkaa]

Numb pt 1

Click here for more Numb content OR JOIN THE NUMB DISCORD

Lumberjack AU

Pairing: Ryan Haywood x Reader

WC: 2500+

Relief comes in the form of a fresh pair of socks. After clomping into the lodge for what feels like the millionth time that day you kick off your boots; the old offending pair lying discarded after being immediately shed in favour of something far thicker and obnoxious with pompoms. Soggy and sad, you can see those left abandoned creating pools by the door over the top of the one mug you’d insisted on keeping unpacked for occasions such as these. You haven’t touched the sandwich, stale bread adorning the sodden cardboard the gas station had graciously wrapped it in, tomato looking suspiciously like sludge and avocado even more like something you’d find between bathroom tiles. It doesn’t bother you though, and it’s nothing a monumentally sweet cup of herbal tea can’t fix for the time being. You just needed to make it to dinner.

It’s through the steam that you smile; hope as warm as the fire roaring in the hearth, mood impervious to the dampness of falling snow. It encases the edges of the splintered window frames, closing in as it lines the sills and topples every now and again from the roof with a shudder. And though empty walls wait with bated breath, ready to bare the pride of their new owners, you can’t bring yourself to start unpacking. Empty cupboards beg to be filled, closets eager to be lined and bathrooms desperate to be stocked - all screaming for some form of progress despite knowing you intend on offering none. Not yet, anyway.

Crates are jammed in every free corner, staircase blocked with a barrage of suitcases while furniture is left littered with packages and the promise of a nap. Even the room you’ve claimed as your own, the largest in all respects and the one you rightfully deserve after picking up the keys and moving across the country early and alone; has only the bed made. And, if someone were to clamber over the mountain of belongings at the foot of the stairs and traipse through the hallway lined with linen, they’d see a wardrobe harbouring piles of clothes and a carpet fashioned into a maze of mismatched books and boxes.

But you’re too involved in the moment to worry about everything you need to do, enraptured in the peace of a promising beginning. A fresh start is just what you need. A new place in a new town where no one knows your name. Where memories can be buried in the snowfall, and a future career can be forged in tree trunks. Here, you’re Y/N, no more and no less. Y/N, a woman who really needs to get on with the rest of the evening.

A gentle sigh escapes into your mug, a soft hum that’s swallowed with the remains of your tea. Aching feet pad against the rich wooden panels lining the floor, slowly easing you into an evening free from the bustle of a choking city. Void of the demands of people, or the hollowness of a house you’d come to refuse as home. Another comfortable breath comes as a jumper is pulled over your head, fabric softly tugging against your skin like caressing fingers. Even your laces cause little trouble, boots done up in no time before you’re out the door, nose buried in the cream fluff of a scarf.

The crunch of fresh snow starts off your journey into the town centre of Motbury; leading you down the damp wooden steps and onto the small stone path tracing through your new garden, property lined with thick pine trunks and shivering greenery. Late afternoon sun rays drift lazily through the branches, dusting the world with a pleasant yellow glow you can’t help smiling into. A quick glance backwards says goodbye to the lodge and its characteristic grooves, to its tattered log exterior and triangular peaks, sharp supports and clusters of windows. To the stone columns you swear you’ll coat in fairy lights and markings, the wagon wheels you’re certain you’ll never get around to moving, and the mound of firewood stacked haphazardly against the side of your new home.

---

The first store you enter welcomes you with open arms and a comfortable heat, gentle jingles of the bell above the door seeing the man behind the cash register’s head lifting. He smiles through a dark beard flecked with greys, hair a mess with the numerous passes his tattooed fingers make across it. Still, the expression sees a face creased with age brighten, bearing the same cutting lines that accompany his front door. He greets you with a casual hello before returning his attention to the two figures in faded uniform on the opposite side of the checkout, nodding along to their stories.

From the back you can’t make out much besides their thick, fur trimmed coats and working boots - but the guns holstered to their sides tells you enough. The shorter of the two, of who is at least a head below the man on the right, runs a hand through brightly coloured hair, diffusing icy blues and mousey brown roots. The tension marrying between his broad shoulders explains the concern twitching restlessly in his fingers, nerves conducting the gentle incessant taps of his toes. Such apprehension is mirrored in the flash you catch of the other man’s expression; muted red curls trimmed neat, freckles splotching pale skin.

The pair hears your entrance, turning too late as you disappear into the aisles with a small cart, eyes intent on the slip of paper decorating your palm. Murmurs still snake across the floor, your back growing warm as their voices brush against it. Snippets of conversation follow; questions about family and comments about the upcoming forecast. A conversation that refuses to linger on the missing posters plastered to the windows, and a warning about getting the store secured before the raging weather hits. Boisterous laughter finally defrosts the room that’s slowly been icing over with their worries, and it joins the selection of bread you sift through, loaves and rolls scattered with seeds accompanying the vegetables you’ve collected on the journey through the store.

None of the other bodies in the cosy space seem to mind the presence of the police, all wearing gentle expressions and comfortable shoulders. It puts you at ease, the usual nagging concern that bounces in your chest at the sight of law enforcement ebbing away. From the corner of your eye the quirk of a tall man’s lips sees the pressure stringing down your neck thaw, close enough for you to hear him chuckling at the conversation overtaking the front of the store, his amusement tumbling into the butcher’s display. His head shakes within the palm his chin rests against, smile turning into a grin. Then a large, callous hand pushes back loose strands of sweeping sandy blonde, impatiently forcing red plaid sleeves back up to the crook of his elbows.

And then you see it, something that makes your heart leap and pulse race, breath catching with a stifled gasp - there’s a special on steak. You beeline for it, now close enough to feeling the man’s warm laughter caress your side. Gathering a few packages and dumping them into your cart, you return to the sausages, of which the blonde seems to be struggling with. He holds two varieties in his hands, glancing from one to the other, utterly perplexed. You can see the difficulty, considering the options before making a decision.

“Pork and sage are always a good choice,” you offer helpfully, reaching in front and collecting an identical pack to the one he’s debating.

“You couldn’t be more right,” he replies after a moment, turning his incredibly blue eyes to you. The twitch of his lips widens into a smile, discarding the losing flavour and placing the winner in his basket. “You’ve just made dinner a hell of a lot easier.”  

“Just doing my duty.”

“Your country thanks you,” he chuckles, and your stomach leaps.

Intending to respond with a witty remark you’re almost certain won’t be nearly as clever as you hope, the words die in your throat with the crash fracturing the air; as sudden as the tumble of cusses emanating from the front of the store. You both whip your attention to the shattering of glass and the fuming voice of the shopkeeper, frustration buried in another person’s giggles. “Oh c’mon, Jeremy! That’s the 2nd jar this week!”

“Shit,” responds the man you assume to be Jeremy with a groan, “I’m so sorry Geoff.”

“I should have you bloody arrested for this.”

“I could do it, Geoff,” interjects the taller man eagerly, giggles eventually subsiding. “Just say the words. Please. Ask me to arrest him. God damn it Geoff. This is all I’ve ever wanted. Please have me arrest Jeremy.” 

You can’t hold back the sniggers, joy dripping through the fingers you hide your lips behind. The stranger beside you joins in, shaking his grinning face yet again. Far taller than you, he stands on his tiptoes, peering over the shorter shelves. “There go the complimentary chocolates.” He rocks back on the balls of his feet, wincing. “Damn it. Geoff always has the one with little hazelnuts inside.”

“What a waste,” you gasp, hand clutching your scarf in an action he mirrors. “Does this happen often?”

He glances at you, surprised. It takes him a moment to realise that he doesn’t actually recognise you, having accepted your conversation and comfortability as a form of familiarity. “All the time. That pair make a mess everywhere they go. I’m sorry, I’m being rude. You’re new here?”

“Just moved in,” you reply, brushing away his disappointment in his manners, “I bought the lodge up the road.” You shake the hand he offers, dwarfed in his firm grasp. “I’m Y/N. Figured I’d collect some supplies before my roommates arrive.”

“Ryan.” He smiles, a lopsided, carefree expression that leaves him looking younger. “I’d tell you that you’d get used to them, but you really don’t. 2 years and the short one’s still a pain in my ass.” He laughs, warm and rich. “I don’t let him in the shop anymore, he’s always breaking stuff. But I won’t take up any more of your time.” He gives your trolley a pointed glance, assessing it’s contents and then your stature. “It looks like you’ve got a lot of hungry mouths to feed.”

You offer him a shrug, rather enjoying his company. “Not for a few more days. I moved in early to sort out some paperwork, pick up the keys and make sure everything’s set up. I’ll probably end up shopping again in a few more days. They’re animals.”

“The lodge, you said?” He’s quiet for a moment, thoughtful and tracing the paths he knows so well in his head. “The one on the outskirts, went extremely cheap?”

“Suspiciously cheap,” you correct.

“By the tree line?”

“That’s the one.”

He dives into his pocket while you’re speaking, sawdust trembling from the patches plastered against his pants. Rummaging around, he discards a number of crumbled receipts into his basket before pulling out a business card. “Here,” he insists, pressing the laminated piece into your expectant palm. “I run the local carpentry store; ‘Hay Woodworks’. A place like yours is gonna require some fixing up. We try to keep on top of the scratches around the doors and window frames - nah, don’t look so scared, it’s just animals trying to find shelter in the storms - but it’s always best to be safe. One good gust and the whole thing can cave, even with the newer buildings. I’d be happy to help out, even if it’s just to check the property out before the storms hit. I’ll sort you out with anything.”

Your eyebrow quirks, testing the waters with a timid snatch at opportunity. “What about a job?”

He considers this thoroughly, picking up one of your hands and studying it, folding it over in his own. Finally, he lets it drop, lips pursing to the side. “What’ve you worked with?”

“Mainly statement pieces and decorations,” you reply fondly, thumb tracing one of the many callouses that’d stained your hands years ago, skin tattered with scars. “But I’m good on a ladder. I used to work in my Granddad’s shop when I was younger and we’d go out and fix up houses. I haven’t carved in a while, but I’m all about new beginnings right now.”

He’s lips tug into a broad grin, welcoming and infectious. “I think I could find something for you to do. It’d be hard work, but swing by the shop tomorrow and we’ll see what you can do. I’ve got a couple of fix up jobs lined up for the coming few weeks, I could do with a hand once I know what you’re capable of.”

You’re beaming as you thank him, potential rushing through your mind with the excited shake of your hands. Eventually you pry yourself away with his insistence of having taken up too much of your time. Venturing further into the groceries, you throwing a few well-timed glances back at him, Ryan staring intently at his shoes before shaking himself, tearing away from your line of sight at the call of his name. During your interaction the commotion taking over the front of the store has died down, cheerful warmth still radiating in spite of the cold rattling against the exterior walls.

“Hold on, Michael,” comes a voice over the shelves a few minutes later as you’re leaning into the milk fridge, overwhelmed with the hum of freezer elements, unable to discern it’s familiarity, “I just want to check something first.”

“Go for it, J,” encourages Michael, hearing the bell jingle as he pushes open the door and says his goodbyes to Ryan, gusts of freezing wind playing with his curls. “I’ll be in the patrol car with my ass pressed to the heater.”

You pay the conversation no mind, finally having picked up enough produce to keep a small family fed for a week - or your roommates satiated for at least 3 days. Making your way to the checkout, the voice comes again, curious and careful. “Y/N?”

Spinning, you find yourself facing the small, bright officer, deep brown eyes widening in disbelieving joy. He’s stronger with your name this time, excited. “Y/N! Since when do you shop up in the mountains?”

“Jeremy,” you breath, shock coursing through your veins, “oh my god, is that really you?”

“Jesus,” he chuckles incredulously, both embracing for a long moment before he holds you out at arm’s length. He can’t quite comprehend your existence, drinking in the sight of his long lost friend. “It’s been, what, 2 years? How’ve you been?”

“Alright,” you admit rather hollowly, blinking a few times to stay on track. “What’re you doing here?”

“I work here now.” There’s pride in his voice, chest puffing up and finger jabbing the patch adoring his breast pocket, a similar one on his arm. “I was transferred here after we stopped working together, you’re looking at Motbury’s detective chief inspector.”

“You’re kidding.” You laugh, elated and vaguely aware of Ryan paying for his groceries, returning the wave he throws you from the door. Another billow of wind, ice nipping the tip of your nose. “You finally got your promotion.”

“You bet your ass I did, and a haircut.” His fingers skim the colour that’d made him so unrecognisable, and your heart feels instantly lighter.

“It looks great.”

[epicureblogs]

A Range of Pork Products Available Online

Is Pork Pepperoni Pizza the first thing that pops into your mind when thinking of ordering food online, or is it the rack of pork ribs that makes you travel across the city to that one restaurant that serves it well? If the answer to one or both of the above questions is yes, then you sound like a pork lover who would not mind spending time in order to get a delectable pork dish.

But what if you are made aware of a way to procure excellent and premium quality pork cuts and other meats online that you can order and get delivered to your home; not only will you save time but you can also get a wide range of different fresh pork cuts and frozen pork items that you can order according to your preference and the dish you want to make. To buy Pork Belly slices or pork chops online, head over to Epicure Gourmet Destination which is an online meat shop to explore the options and place your order. Apart from online ordering, you can also visit their brand outlets in Dehradun, Delhi and Gurugram.

Established in 2010, this online store offers great quality and a variety of products in meats and other non-vegetarian products. The list of pork meats itself is a long and includes French pork mince, Fresh pork ribs, Pork Chops and Fresh pork mince as well as frozen meats like Pork feet, Pork ear, BFI pork mince, IMP pork chop, IMP pork ribs, IMP pork tenderloin, imported pork ribs, imported belly slices so you can buy Pork Belly slices, imported pork shabu shabu, imported pork neck slice, imported pork belly unsliced as well as branded pork belly slices, pork loin steak, pork mince, pork loin and pork mince.

If you like a protein heavy breakfast or prefer some solid non-vegetarian items in the morning, then some good old pork sausages would not only perk up your mornings but also keep you satiated until afternoon. Head over to epicuregourmet.in to buy Pork Sausage online for delicious breakfast sausages along with other pork meats like pork ribs for a scrumptious barbecue lunch and fresh mince pork for a comforting pork keema dinner.

Epicure Gourmet Destination is a one-stop-shop but not a one-time destination as its motive is to create a loyal customer base whom they can serve better by offering them top-of-the-line frozen and fresh specialty imported food products!

[ppaiinx]

Types of Pork

Image by Guide to Pork

____________________________________________________________

Pork cuts are provided with Pork Butt, Picnic Shoulder, Pork Loin, Ham, Pork Side, Spare Rib, Pork Jowl, and Pork Foot If you are confused about how to cook which types of pork, this guide will help you.

____________________________________________________________

1. Pork Butt (or Boston Butt)

The Pork Butt actually comes from the shoulder of the pig. It includes the neck, shoulder blade, and upper arm of the pig.

As you might know, the Pork Butt is a moderately tough cut of meat that is ideal for slow roasting, braising, or smoking.

____________________________________________________________

2. Picnic Shoulder

Also known as the pork shoulder, the Picnic Shoulder comes from right below the Pork Butt.

It is usually smoked or cured and is great for ground pork and sausages. You can roast it, but that’s not the best use for the Picnic Shoulder.

____________________________________________________________

3. Pork Loin

One of our personal favorite primal cuts, the Pork Loin is where we get the tenderloin, fatback, and baby back ribs. You can choose to roast the entire loin or you can cut it into pork chops or cutlets.

A lesser-known cut to come out of the Pork Loin is the fatback which can be added to ground pork or sausages or used to make lard or salt pork.

____________________________________________________________

4.Ham

The back leg of the pig is where we get the ham. When it is smoked and cured, this is where you get serrano ham and prosciutto. The entire fresh ham is typically roasted but can be cut into ham steaks as well.

____________________________________________________________

5.Pork Side

Moving to the bottom of the pig, you get the Pork Side. This is where you get pork belly, bacon, and pancetta. These cuts are prepared a variety of different ways from slow roasting to frying.

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6.Spare Rib

The Spare Rib is located between the Loin and the Pork Side. The Spare Ribs are usually grilled low and slow to ensure they are moist and tender. They can also be braised or cooked in a slow cooker.

____________________________________________________________

7.Pork Jowl

A lesser-known cut to the United States, the Pork Jowl is usually used for making sausages. Some restaurants have started to serve pork collar and pork cheeks which both come from the Pork Jowl.

____________________________________________________________

8.Pork Foot

Typically reserved for adding to stocks, soups, and stews, the Pork Foot contains a lot of collagen and is a good source of gelatin. Slow stewing or simmering breaks down the connective tissue and makes the meat tender.

Pork Foot can also be slow-smoked, cured, or pickled.

____________________________________________________________

Written by Nathapas Phonakorn

____________________________________________________________

References

Professional Char-Griller Grill & Smokers. (2019, March 28). Guide to Pork cuts.

Retrieved from https://www.chargriller.com/blogs/tips-and-care/guide-to-pork-cuts.

____________________________________________________________

[benjamingarden]

Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021

  The new year has finally arrived!  I'm not sure what grocery shopping looks like in your neck of the woods now that there's yet another rise in COVID cases, but it's actually not too bad in ours.  For the most part you can select curbside pick-up or delivery if you desire.  And lately I desire.

The photo above and info below outline our monthly grocery shopping.  We will need  a few additional items: milk comes from our farmers market as does coffee for Jay (probably another $20.00 total for the month), and I may get some fresh greens in another 1-2 weeks (less then $10.00).

Our groceries for January came from BJ's and Healthy Living, a local health food store.  Typically we would also do a Hannaford order or a trip to the commissary, however, we are really well stocked on pantry and freezer items.  You'll notice there is no meat purchased.  Our freezers are fairly well stocked and we will actually be bartering with a farmer friend - our products for some of his chicken and pork, this weekend.  We are finally (FINALLY) getting eggs from the Coop Girls, and as you know, we put up a lot of veggies in the freezer from the summer garden.

I don't plan on returning to Healthy Living until March so I stocked up with that in mind.  We will probably place another BJ's order mid February-ish.

The total spent for January is anticipated to be $439.41 or just over $100.00/week.

 $269.41 (groceries already purchased) + $140.00 (bartered meat) + $30.00 (coffee, milk & greens anticipated to purchase throughout the month) = $439.41.  Our January purchases are partly for January and partly for the months to come.

Healthy Living - $174.84 (almost half of this amount is from 2 items....the dandy blend and the goji berries)

BJ's - $94.57

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Our Groceries:

Healthy Living:

The Dandy Blend Herbal Coffee Alternative is AMAZINGLY good.  I absolutely love it for iced or hot "coffee".  It's kind of expensive and a bit of a splurge.  I purchased 2 bags which will last me through April or so.  The 14 oz bags cost $22.49 each.  I've looked on Amazon and they sell a slightly smaller (11 oz) bag for around the same price so this seems to be the best deal.

The Goji Berries are added to a trail mix (we already have the other ingredients on hand) for Jay that he eats daily.  Macular degeneration runs in his family and goji berries have been shown to help prevent this.  Plus they are high in antioxidants so we decided it was worth it regardless of whether or not it works to prevent M.D..  These bags are 8 ounces and $12.49 each.  I should have bought them at Amazon because I'm pretty sure I could have gotten them cheaper.  I'll research it and purchase them there going forward if it makes sense to do so.  The 2 bags should last him just about 2 months.

I know there are cheaper dairy alternatives then Oatly ($4.99/carton) but I really love Oatly.  I prefer the lowfat version but they were out of everything except for these 4 cartons. 

We bought 12 pounds of mixed yukon & red potatoes ($1.99/lb) and 5 pounds of sweet potatoes (I splurged and bought my FAVORITE Japanese Sweet Potatoes at $2.99/lb - I call them "cake sweet potatoes" because they are soooo sweet).  Oliver and I are on the last of the sweet potatoes that we harvested and stored in the fall.  I can't believe they are almost gone!!!  We go through a moderate amount of potatoes and only purchase them organic, and the absolute best ones we've found are at Healthy Living.  This is easily a 2 month supply of each.

I have a few apples and mandarin oranges left for fruit but Jay prefers grapes so I bought a bag of grapes ($2.99/lb) and I treated myself to a couple of grapefruit ($1.49/lb).  I typically try to only buy fruit that is $1.99 or less per pound (exception being the frozen berries & cherries), but that definitely didn't happen this month.

Que Pasa is our new favorite brand of tortilla chips.  They are organic, non-GMO, and reduced sodium.  We very rarely have chips but when we do it's tortilla for the win.  They were on sale (although I'm wondering if this is a permanent sale because they were on the same sale a few months ago when I last bought them...) at $2.99/bag.

I usually make my own bread and tortillas but I like to have a bit of each in the freezer just in case.  I've used up my freezer stash of both so I purchased a loaf of Dave's bread and a pack of limited ingredient corn tortillas and whole wheat flour tortillas for the freezer. 

BJ's:

Not shown in the photo, we also bought a bag of frozen organic sweet cherries and a bag of frozen organic blueberries (3 lb bags for $13.99/ea.).  We have 2 bags of each in the freezer already.  We each eat a 1/2 cup of a mix of the two every single day so we should be good for a couple months.  I also bought Kiwi (3 lbs for $6.49) as yet another splurge because we haven't had them in forever and one bunch of organic bananas (2 lbs for $1.59).  We've found that our very favorite bananas are organic Chiquita.  They seem to be the creamiest.  I have no idea why, but the non-organic Chiquita's and other brands organic and non-organic just aren't the same.  Strange....

I keep riced cauliflower on hand in the freezer because it's one of the cheapest ways to buy cauliflower off season.  (I roast it from frozen in the oven to use as a veggie side)  I wanted to make some buffalo cauliflower though for veggie tacos, and I need pieces instead of having it riced so I bought a bag (2 lbs for $4.29).  Jay likes cooked cauliflower with cheese sauce so he'll have that as a side a few times too. 

We eat a lot of mushrooms and BJ's seems to have the best price on them so I bought 2 which will get us through a few weeks.  (24 oz containers for $4.99/ea.)

Pom Juice was a special request by the husband.  We don't usually buy juice but he requested it last month for the first time in a long time and has been enjoying it.  (48oz bottle $8.99)  I'm running low on frozen peas and frozen corn and BJ's carries the organic at a reasonable cost (each is 4 lbs for $6.99) so I stocked up.  I'm low on carrots too and their price isn't bad (5 lbs organic for $3.99).  Also not shown is a 3-pack of frozen pizza.  We keep a couple vegan frozen pizzas and a couple meat/cheese frozen pizzas on hand all of the time for the days we need something quick.  We still have 2 of the vegan so we just stocked up on the meat version (3 pack DiGiornio $13.99).

January's Meal Plan

My goal was to start posting our meal plans again, per request from many of you, but to also add photos of some of the meals this time around.  Unfortunately, I have yet to get in the habit of photographing dinner before it's served.  I hope to add this to the posts as I remember.

A Note About Our Meal Plans

I create monthly meal plans because it's what I've found to be easiest for me.  There may be some change but usually not much.  Changing works because I rotate the same 30+ meals so we would use the ingredients at some point over the next 30-45 days.  If we have perishables that need to be used up then that becomes priority and I may make changes to avoid food waste.

I usually make 2 separate meals - Jay and I eat completely different at this point.  He used to be willing to eat what I eat as his side but not so much anymore.  He's not a fan of whole grains and can only tolerate one type of veggie per meal.  So.....you can see that I tend to eat the same thing multiple nights because it's easy and I don't mind at all.  Where there's only one meal noted, I make a meat & cheese version for him and a vegan version for me.  Where there's no veggie side noted for him I use whatever I've got that needs using up or I select a frozen veggie.

You will notice that for Jays meals there are a few noticeable rotations.  

In general, chicken meals are Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  Pork is Tuesdays.  And Beef is Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays.  This is in part due to the fact that he tells me it's illegal to serve chicken 2 days in a row.  (insert eye roll)  

Also, other then the occasional new recipe that I try, his meals rotate about every month and a half (a different rotation will show up for summer).  

Our Sundays rotate around the same 5 meals (Tamales, Tacos, Homemade Pizza, Pot Roast, and Meatballs) because it's our farmers market day which means I want something super simple to make.  I do not make the tamales, we love those by Tucson Tamale (not an affiliate link).  Around us we can find a small variety at Healthy Living.  Tucson Tamale offers meat, vegetarian, and vegan varieties and they are sooooo delicious.  They do use oil in all of their tamales so if you are completely oil-free this is unfortunately not an option for you.

Recipe Links:

If I have posted the recipe or use a recipe posted by someone else this month then I will link to it below.  If there's a meal you'd like to see the recipe for let me know!

Quick & Easy Chicken Parm

Homemade Pizza - this is the pizza dough recipe we use

Creamy Cajun Chicken Pasta (Budget Bytes)

Apple & Stuffing Stuffed Pork Chops (Betty Crocker)

Oven-Baked BBQ Pork Ribs

Hamburger Potato Casserole (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen)

Chicken Pot Pie Muffins (You Tube - The Hillbilly Kitchen) *I used this as a guide - I use my pie crust recipe and my pot pie recipe and bake it as muffins as shown in the vlog)

Honey Mustard Chicken (Bowl Of Delicious)

Bourbon Dijon Ham Steak (Martha Stewart - is delicious without the bourbon as well)

Mac & Cheese

Easy Weeknight Chicken Cordon Bleu

Scallops Gratin (Food Network - Ina Garten) - I use this recipe without the alcohol

Slow-Cooker Mississippi Pot Roast

Veggie Stew with Black Pepper Biscuits (vegan) (Vegan Richa)

Split Pea Soup (Vegan) (Simple Veganista)

What about you?  Do you have favorite meals that you rotate?  Do you have to cook multiple meals for different eaters?

Monthly Meal Plan + Grocery Haul: January 2021 was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

[brasilfoodsa]

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[purkinje-effect]

The Anatomy of Melancholy, 2

Table of Contents Go to previous. Go to next.

Updated 2019.01.29. (Minor name tweaking.)

Once he’d sufficiently tailored the slacks and dress shirt, Carey spent the rest of the afternoon and evening assessing potential salvage among the wreckage of the small suburb. He and Jacob maintained terminal entries on all their clients, and on behalf of Jacob that included casing information regarding the locations of those individuals’ safes. The three besides their own yielded a reliquary of heirlooms crafted from precious metals as well as cash, and he amassed it all though he fostered no belief money would retain value as more than a scrap of cloth to survivors of the nuclear exchange. It takes a government to cast the shadow of a gold or silver standard, and the chemist doubted in dire earnest there existed any such establishment now.

He combed the handful of houses still half-standing, inspected mailboxes both those still upright and those knocked clear into others’ yards, rooted through garages and the shells of once vehicles; but, he gained scant notable additions compared to those retrieved from his prior home. Either time had erased the quality of most things, or those evacuating to Vault 111 had taken the best things with them only to have them discarded by the shills running it. Further insects argued with the chemist’s presence in their homes, but Angel made quick work of the enormous mutant flies and roaches.

Angel’s back panel espoused rather spacious storage. Unbeknownst to the Handy, its owner had hollowed out a small false bottom to this compartment, where he’d kept things such as his Melancholia during his active duty–but now, he fattened it with cash and valuables as he encountered them, and stored the chems in the main space. The compartment soon filled with a collection of tools, and household and backyard chemicals he could recall would prove useful to him once he found someplace stable and secure enough. The Vault Suit itself got crammed furthest in, out of sight and out of mind.

Unnervingly, he knew he couldn’t stay put for long, for he found almost no shelf-stable food: only a small cache of Salisbury steaks and canned water in Heydar Jahani’s small cellar shelter. It seared Carey that Vault-Tec had not extended invitation into Vault 111 to Jahani, despite his veteran status, while they’d invited both himself and the Murphys. Albeit crystal hindsight, he wished he didn’t understand the grounds upon which the vault might have rejected the one vet while fondly welcoming the other three. Military duty at the Deenwood Compound had broken Carey and Jahani in very different ways. As he helped himself to Jahani’s dirt-dark two hundred year old stout stash, he recalled that Nora Murphy had been in the army’s Judge Advocate General’s Corps, and wondered if she could have ever resolved a workman’s compensation claim for the poor soul, given the chance.

Carey doubted it.

Besides a pair of X-Cell inhalers from the Russells’ floor safe, only the contents of the first aid kits and medicine cabinets held any value. His stomach hardened to see Jacob’s hunch checked out: along with the performance enhancer had lain a ledger of dog fighting bets. Russell had been doping dogs with it. Carey supposed the political climate leading up to the nuclear exchange had warped just about everyone’s rationality and sensibilities.

The chemist most loathed his inability to locate any Mentats whatsoever in Sanctuary. The longer Carey existed again, the more he understood his constitution was fundamentally wrong. He struggled through murky, resistant acuity, noting a patchy memory and also difficulty pairing information. He at once felt both too loose and too stiff in most joints. He couldn’t see as well as he remembered he could. The disposition of his flesh rendered itself papery and pliant, while equally infirm. Everything took two or three times the extra effort to accomplish, down to putting one foot before the other... The cryogenesis must have surely wrought him rheumatic, and the opioids in his Melancholia cocktail had only masked the pain, not improved his function, and he opted to save the narcotics rather than plow through them since they didn’t much seem to help anyway. Between the limited food supplies and increasingly likely chronic pain, he resolved to push on to Concord proper. In the morning.

Returning to the vault overnight didn’t even dawn on him. Vulnerable everywhere else, he ate dinner in Jahani’s cellar and slept there.

When he emerged the following day, Carey located Angel and loaded the cellar’s supplies into it, then the two made a quick round to guarantee they hadn’t left anything especially important. He snacked on a can of pork n’ beans as he walked Southeast to the footbridge out of town.

“Just a bit overcast. Fine weather to walk to work, isn’t it, Sir?”

“You could say that.”

Once he’d polished off the fermented mess of proteins, he tossed the can and pocketed the spoon. He stepped around the fresh corpses of a man and a mangy dog in the road. There were bite marks. With a hard swallow, he pulled out his gun and looked around more intently than before as he continued down the broken asphalt.

“I hope Miss Gretchen doesn’t chastise us for being so late,” Angel commented darkly. “Surely, she’d understand.”

“Positive that’s not going to be an issue.”

Carey whipped face-down to the crumbling asphalt too fast to think he’d tripped on it. Something had grabbed his ankle, and he rolled over to try to kick them. With a frothy growl, the thing which looked to once be human lashed out at him with too-long fingernails. A second kick gave him enough time to steady his hands to fire at it. Heart between his ears, his eyes whipped around to recognize these things surrounded him, and if they hadn’t noticed him before the gunfire, they certainly had now.

“Terrific!” Angel beamed, switching out its pincer attachments for its laser and circular saw. “It’s a fight then!”

“…God…”

Carey glazed with dread, trembling as these mutated, misshapen ghouls shambled closer. In naked tatters, their complexion and hair had burned and melted, their black eyes sank deep in their faces, and their apparent bone structure was lost in wanderlust. When one abruptly scrambled to run and lunge at him with a guttural yowl, he screamed and unloaded the entire clip at it. He continued pulling the trigger on the empty pistol as the thing crumpled lifeless at his feet atop the first one. He pushed backwards as fast as he could to back himself into the embankment beside the road, eyes frozen open with grief.

All the while, Angel hummed eagerly while it deftly mowed down several of them.

“…Indhhh–” A third one glared at Carey, and he frantically reloaded from his slacks pocket. But, the ghoul simply stood there, breathing heavy and letting out a faint growl. It lacked a nose, and its jawline had rotted down to mere teeth, its thyroid hanging massive like a crop from a horribly elongated neck. The hairless, earless thing squinted, clearly pained. “Mhhh. Ghgh’dy.”

When the ghoul did not advance, Carey’s eyes darted to the others that had opted to attack the shiny flaming robot rather than him. Mindy. Horror seized him when he realized this thing recognized him, and did his best to aim his pistol at it, distrustful. Angel continued to contend with the dozen or so others, the violence framing this one and himself in a solipsistic, distorted sphere.

“…Jacob?” The breath to speak could scarce escape him. A drooling roar came from it, and the tears started. “Jacob, I’m sorry…”

“Khhh, llm.” Kill me. It took a step toward him. “Hhree.” Hurry? …Free?

“I don’t understand.” He shook his head at it, gaze unable to stay on any one feature too long. “What… what are you?” Suddenly, it clicked what Angel was doing and he screamed, nauseated mouth suffusing with desperate saliva. “ANGEL STOP!”

The last of the ghouls fell to the road and Angel turned in confusion to its owner.

“You missed one, Sir.”

“These… these…” He couldn’t breathe. “These are what’s left of Sanctuary!?”

“Feral ghouls are everywhere these days, I’m afraid,” the robot replied, poised to fell the ghoul between them upon command. “Allow me to get this one, Sir.”

“I, no. No. I can’t.” He glanced up at the Red Rocket filling station behind it and Angel. “I can’t. Please. Can we leave him here? At the truck stop?”

Its ocular lenses shuffled around to scrutinize the ghoul.

“I suppose. It doesn’t seem to wish harm like the others.”

He couldn’t believe Angel couldn’t understand. The more he stared at the ghoul, the more he could recognize the vestiges of Jacob’s features. He stood slowly, as not to unsettle the ghoul, and dropped the pistol hand to his side. With the other, he pointed to the filling station.

“You… you’ve been staying here? Right? Because the insects are bothering you back at the house?”

The ghoul forced through its exposed turbinates a long breath which turned into a whine.

“Khhh, llm. Kkhhh. Mhh’d.”

“Jacob, no.”

Barking closed in on the paused chaos, and a sizable ramshackle dog stopped mere yards away, lowering its head to growl. Angel and Carey both moved to aim at the unpredictable new threat, but the ghoul started toward it, and crooked down slightly to pet the German shepherd’s head. The dog softened and pulled at what was left of the ghoul’s trousers to lead it back to the filling station. The moment the dog had appeared, the ghoul lost all attention on Carey and his Mister Handy, and cared only about the dog.

“…He’s… got a friend left, at least.” Carey nearly dropped the gun in shock, but caught himself and turned on the safety before pocketing it. He looked around at the casualties littering the road, then back to the Red Rocket. “I’m not sure this is better than him dying.”

“Come now, Mister Carey. We can mull over such existential preponderances during your work break! We’re late enough as it is.”

The chemist’s fingers retraced his platysmal scar again, and he drew a difficult breath and shut his eyes.

“Let’s get going.”

The pair traveled through the decimated streets of Concord, following their routine track to and from work. A town devoid of population unsettled Carey more than the same of a small suburb. What remained of Walden Drugs did not invite them. The roof of the two story building had fallen, but the second story’s floor still shielded the first from the dreary drizzling which had set in during the confrontation.

“Go upstairs ahead of me,” Carey instructed. Once it had gone, he crouched behind the counter and rummaged the shelves, drawers, and cabinets. He emptied out the first aid tin on the wall of its Stimpak, gauze, and smelling salts, and took the box of ballpoint pens and a fistful of manila folders from the front counter’s hanging file drawer as well. In the drawer he put his hands on a pair of directories–one, of the employees, the other, of nearby drugstores and chemists. One of the locations in the latter would have to provide him supplies, and the closer, the better. Lexington Walden. He shut the directory and with a nod slapped his peeling counter with the wad of papers. Out of habit, the fifteen dollars still inexplicably in the till found its way into his pocket.

He ascended the stairs with the files under his arm, and everything else awkwardly in his trouser pockets. The light rain annoyed him only slightly less than finding that so little remained of his former workplace. The desks had rusted and rotted out, despite a scab of papers plastered to the floor by centuries of weather, and the inventory had been looted. From a metal storage box near the baseboards, he grabbed a bottle of Wonderglue and a box of .38 bullets. Then he got Angel’s attention to deposit everything in its storage compartment.

Pulling out the box of bobby pins to reuse the one he’d bent up the day before, he approached the small wall safe that had once belonged to Gretchen, the store owner. Angel idled anxiously, finding little to occupy itself.

“I wonder where Miss Gretchen and the others are.”

Carey did not respond, haunted as ever by this nightmare he’d awoken to, lost in thought as he struggled with the sophisticated lock. He couldn’t handle the idea his boss, or any of his coworkers, had suffered the same fate as his roommate and the others. Jacob’s face wouldn’t quit him. His friend had been so plain before, but he was so… beautiful now. When he caught himself in such thoughts, he shook his head of them and had to stop a moment to recollect himself. God, he needed a drink.

His boss’s safe gave him more trouble than his own, but the effort yielded him a .38 pistol with a wood-panel grip and a fine scope, as well as war bonds and a set of spare keys which no longer belonged to anything. Well, the scope seemed wonderful by comparison, anyway, to the shoddy company-issue 10mm pistol with iron sights he’d nicked off the corpse of that Vault 111 security guard. The chemist favored it, and stored the 10mm in Angel.

Descending back to the main floor, the nag graced him with a difficult and thoughtful squint: “Did I… clock out that day…?” But then, he noticed the cardstock had plastered into mush in the slots of the time card rack, and he stared vacantly for some time at the clock itself. Suppose it’s 9:47am forever. He shook the nonsense from his brain and very much just wanted to leave, and yet... He hadn’t checked the mudroom.

As he walked behind the counter again, and back under the stairwell, he stopped, stunned. The lockers to the left had remained untouched, and everyone’s coats still hung to the right--including the garment bag he’d had ready for the evening the bombs fell.

Saturday morning, Jacob had dropped Carey off at work. The Pharmacy Corps veteran had brought his uniform with him, to change into after his shift. Their neighbor, Nate Murphy, was also a much-decorated veteran of Anchorage, though he’d been at the Alaskan war front as a soldier, while the chemist had stayed on base here in Massachusetts. Nate was to give a speech at the Concord Veteran’s Hall that night, and everyone in Sanctuary Hills was going, out of a mixture of enthusiasm and moral support. Even Jahani intended to go, and Carey found it odd though never mentioned it.

But then, around 9:30, the screaming and chaos began. Carey had thought it had been yet another riot outbreak, but then Jacob’s sky blue Chryslus Coupe jumped the front curb, and he got out without turning off. The thirty-some blond hopped the counter and, beyond words, dragged Carey out of the pharmacy by the wrist. Because the chemist’d had his nose buried in his work, the repairman had heard news of the apocalypse first. Walden Drugs didn’t have a television in its waiting area.

“Angel!” Jacob demanded. “Go home. Wait for us there.”

“Mister Hawthorne--” Angel looked between the two of them, trying to follow both figuratively and literally. It read the gravity and concern in his voice. “Yes, Sir.”

Carey tried to pull away from him.

“Jacob, if this is about keeping me from going tonight--”

The blond threw him into the passenger seat and slammed the door, to get in the driver’s seat himself.

“We have to go, Carey. Now.”

“But I didn’t clock out--”

“It’s started. Those fucking pieces of shit--”

Jacob turned on the car radio, and didn’t have to tune--the news was on every station.

“--We’ve lost contact with New York and Philadelphia. Confirmed nuclear detonations across the country. A blast, followed by a bright flash of light. Take shelter, if you have it. Oh. God help us all--”

“We don’t have much time. Can’t even stop at the house first. I’m gonna park at the foot of the hill and you get a head start running to the military check-point. Okay? I’m one step behind you.”

Except, the military check-point had rejected the non-veteran in favor of the veteran. Unable to bring himself to think again so soon of his roommate’s fate, he instead recalled the frost-mangled countenances of everyone back in the vault. Nate never would get to deliver his veteran’s speech. Heart stabbing his arm, the chemist unzipped the garment bag, to find the Pharmacy Corps uniform nearly pristine. The nameplate read A. Carey. His hand clapped to his mouth, and he collapsed in the mudroom to his knees in tears.

“Of all the things to have survived in tact--”

He laid in the floor for some time, cradling the garment bag, and he finally let himself cry out the trauma after days spent in total shock. Angel came to the doorway once it heard him.

“Sir, are you... are you injured?”

“O-- only spiritually.”

With a series of hard snorts and hacks, and a face a blur of swelling, he proceeded to try to focus on picking open all the lockers to retrieve valuables. In addition to smoking paraphernalia, timepieces, and a few hats including a visor, he also obtained several wallets; all of these, he poured into Angel, with the sacked uniform folded neatly atop the entire cache. The finesse of such a task grounded him enough to move on, ears no longer ringing by the time they left the pharmacy.

As the two exited to the street, they noticed nearing gunfire and panicked to outpace it. Slowing a bit a few blocks later, a winded Carey came across a body on the sidewalk, and he knelt down to remove the canvas hood. Deranged from the day, he put it on and aligned the small eye-holes, and pushed onward in the hopes nothing else would recognize him from that point onward.

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[slashtrashqueen]

NOTE

the following text is directly copied and pasted from the article for my own reference convenience and I in no way claim authorship over anything written here

If I’m in your car, and we’re not in a hurry, chances are that at some point, I’m going to ask you to pull over so that I can solemnly poke a stick at a dead thing along the side of the road. If we’re in my car—which is usually equipped with nitrile gloves, hand sanitizer, and garbage bags—and the decedent is more structurally sound than a fetid fur pancake, you might want to brace for a smell or two.

I’m into roadkill. I get messages late at night about a beautiful fox in good condition by the side of a highway, and in the morning curse Morpheus himself that I slept through the precious window between warm death and Pollockian spatter. I once left a fat, pristine squirrel carcass on a tree stump next to my then-boyfriend’s car as a gift, like a lovesick cat; he later married me. My friends gave me a bird carcass in a cooler for my birthday.

Dead animals are my shit.

My interests in the subject span more than just a pathological curiosity about the macabre reality of mortality and a steadfast appreciation for the slippery mechanics of life: no, dear reader, I am also into crafting. And what better way to memorialize the fair critters who meet their untimely ends during some shitlord’s 2 a.m. taco run than to turn their dick bones into brooches?

(Don’t answer that.)

Maybe you’re into dead stuff, maybe you aren’t. But if you’ve ever marveled at a pelt, or browsed bone jewelry on Etsy, or wondered what the fuck a rotten squirrel smells like, then I am here for you. Welcome to DIY Death Crafts. Please wash your hands.

First off, a word on the legality of scooping broke-neck Bambi off the interstate. There are states where this is not, per se, legal. State wildlife and game commissions work to regulate who can hunt what and when, requiring licenses to take down specific animals during specific seasons using specific methods. For example, in North Carolina, where I live, hunting feral hogs on game lands is prohibited from one half-hour after sunset to one half-hour before sunrise, unless you have a special permit. Oh, and public nudity on game lands here is prohibited, so no shirtcocking during your pursuit of pork.

I’m allowed to pick up dead animals—North Carolina is pretty friendly to crafty Southerners with a penchant for road steak and possum stew—but other states have concerns that if Billy can’t shoot a feral hog wherever he wants, he’ll just hit it with his car and take it home anyway, or at least tell you that’s what he did if and when some poor government employee comes to scope out his freezer to check that those kilos of sausage had the appropriate papers. So, if you’d like to stay legal, before you grab that non-federally endangered, catastrophically brain-injured animal off I-95, double-check to see if you’re technically allowed to do so.

There’s also the question of safety.

When picking up dead things, it’s best to a) be prepared, and b) assume it’s infectious as shit with something terrible. Rabies is essentially 100 percent fatal, and wild animals are often heavily parasitized with nasty little bugs, so don’t tongue-fuck roadkill corpses or let your dog hump them or anything. I’m not about causing harm with this DIY, so please be aware of the legal and physical dangers, and play at your own risk. Also, if I find out that you hit an animal with your car on purpose for crafting, I will absolutely punch you in the throat should we meet.

That said, now that you are aware of the danger and legality of your actions, let us begin.

The author, in her element

Selecting Your Buddy

Obviously, what you are able to do with your ode to the destructiveness of humanity depends on the quality of the body that you find. The best case scenario is a warm, fresh death, still soft without rigor, preferably dead of brain injury and relatively intact. These are also, as you might assume, pretty damn rare. Fresh is preferred, as it’s easier to skin a warm animal: you can peel ’em like a banana.

However, if you’re scouting for bone crafts, which is what I’m covering today, it doesn’t matter so much. (Word of caution: if you are maggot-averse, you might want to err on the fresher side, but don’t freak out too much, as a lot of roadkill gets pancaked or eaten before the fly babies hatch.)

Find a carcass with some intact bones—preferably not too stinky, if that’s the kind of thing that bothers you—and if it looks like it was pretty healthy, recently deceased, and merely unlucky, you can proceed to step two. Also, if the smell is really bad—like, for instance, dead squirrels fucking STINK—a little Tiger’s Balm under the nostrils can make the drive home more pleasant.

Transportation

Here is where I like to cosplay CDC detective and get real serious about my safe-specimen-collection protocol.

Nah, just kidding, I use a trash bag and gloves. First, I use my gloved hands to examine the animal, because I don’t want a surfeit of weird raccoon fleas in my ancient Subaru, and also because I am curious to a fault and like to get up close with my new friend before I bring her home.

If the animal is small, I’ll just put it in the trash bag using my gloves. If it’s larger or awkwardly positioned in rigor mortis, I’ll take my gloves off, stick my arms into a garbage bag, grab the roadkill, then inside-out the bag around the corpse the way people pick up dogshit off the sidewalk.

Then just tie the bag off and go home. Please don’t forget there is a dead animal in your trunk. Learn from my mistakes.

Clean The Body

There are lots of ways to do get the bones out of your roadkill buddy. Personally, I use my dissection skills from college to skin the animal, remove the viscera with minimal damage to all the stinky guts, then strip most of the muscles from the bone is a fairly haphazard fashion. Alternatively, you can also just bury the body in a bucket full of dirt, preferably in warm weather and damp soil, and check on it on a few months, if it’s small. (Bonus points if you can bury it near an ant hill, which will expedite the process.)

For skinning, run your knife crotch to chin, trying not to pop the peritoneal sac full of viscera. Then, with gloves on, run your fingers between skin and muscle and just rip the two apart. From here, pull out the guts, hack off the muscle, and get ready to macerate. This isn’t precious work—there’s no one way to do it if you’re just wanting bones—so my suggestion is to watch some YouTube tutorials and fucking try it.

Macerate That Shit

Once you have mostly bone, put the bones in a bucket of water or a glass jar, close it—but not too tightly, as a lack of oxygen will slow down the process—put it in the sun, and leave it. This is called maceration, which is a sped-up rotting process whereby the bones are cleaned by bacteria. One handy tip, which works well for small carcasses but can be scaled up as needed, is to stuff the bones into some pantyhose for easy retrieval. I mean, unless you want to fish though the soup of liquified death for vertebrae. Your call.

After two days, change the water. You don’t have to change all of it, just dump out some of it and replace it, being careful not to use water that is too hot, as it will kill the bacteria that you are relying on to eat the body. As you do this, remember to enjoy the horrible smell that will happen! I love this part, probably because it makes people throw up. When you change the water, try to remove as much meat and fat and gross shit as possible; you want the bacteria eating food off the bones, not the greasy remains left in the death stew. Check again after another couple of days, and keep scooping shit out and replacing some of the water until the bones are clean. Could be as quickly as five days or so, and it probably won’t take more than two weeks for larger animals.

If the process seems to have halted, put the bones in a stock pot, simmer for about an hour, careful not to boil them, then restart the maceration process. This is a pretty hardcore step, as it’s gross and smells bad and you have to do it in your kitchen. But I figure you should know that the option is there.

Once the bones are clean, remove them and dry them carefully. Don’t dry them in the sun or the oven, as this can cause cracking.

Degrease and Bleach

For extra-pretty bones, degrease and bleach that shit. There are several ways to degrease, but my preferred lazy-girl way is soap and water. Stick the bones in a container of hot water and healthy amount of dish soap, and leave ’em for at least a week. There will be gross shit floating on top of the bone-soup when you are finished. Do not eat it.

Once the bones are clean, bleach ’em in a 4-percent hydrogen peroxide solution by soaking them for a day or two or three, whatever you need to get the visuals you like. Very important: the bleaching container should not be airtight, or it could explode! Chemistry, man. You can keep doing the bleaching step until the solution no longer foams when it comes into contact with the bones, usually about two or three times. Once they are nice and pale and clean, dry those babies on paper towels and get ready to get weird.

Annie Get Your Glue Gun

Congratulations, you have a pile of bones! Now get out there, crank up that glue gun, and tap that creativity like a maple tree. A few ideas for newcomers include gluing plastic gemstones all over a skull like some kind of fucked up death BeDazzler, making brooches from the bones that look the coolest and pretending you know which ones they are, gluing the bones together in an intractable mess that would make David Cronenberg weep, and—my personal favorite—leaving the whole jumbled disaster in a pile on your kitchen table and calling it art.

Death comes for us all, my friends; might as well make it beautiful.

Leigh Cowart is a freelance journalist covering sports, science, and sex. Her work has appeared in Vice, The Classical, and NSFWCORP, among other places. Follow her on Twitter @voraciousbrain. Not for the faint of heart.

Adequate Man is Deadspin’s self-improvement blog, dedicated to making you just good enough at everything. Suggestions for future topics are welcome below.