#fred's character is so fuckin interesting

[spacephrasing]

so listen

[elendsessor]

i may be crucified for this opinion but

one of the many reasons i think dds deserves a remake is just how little impact some of the characters have and it’s really fucking sad. unless they’re party members or antagonistic forces they don’t get nearly as much screen time as they deserve and i think that hurts them as characters???

jinana and lupa especially. i get the setting of the first game is a battle royale that turned into a cannibal battle royale so of course not everyone could live but they kinda didn’t get as much screen time as they deserved. i mean think about it they kinda just exist to introduce their tribe, interact with the embryon for a bit, disappear, reappear once or twice, then next time you see them they’ve succumbed to hunger, you beat the shit out of them, and they end up dying. what little they are given does make you like them don’t get me wrong but a lot of that rides on dialogue which, as someone who loves seeing people experience certain plot stuff of games i enjoy, i kinda noticed that it was a really mixed result. it’s either “oh no anyways” with maybe the player getting a little melancholic when they get brought up again or the player doesn’t care. considering how important their struggles and mini arcs are that’s not good??? the fact that they exist solely to develop argilla and gale is a shame since unless you like the exchanges they have their deaths don’t have that big of an impact. they do get mentions and all that in 2 yet it kinda just. makes me question it more from the standpoint of what could’ve been done with them or the giant emotional aftermath that should’ve happened. this isn’t to say they can’t die or whatever but considering the interesting conflicts dds introduces and how it already struggled to explore it as much as it could’ve, jinana and lupa really did have the potential to help remedy some of those issues.

and then there’s fred aka the smokey of dds. i still don’t know why he exists except to explain why lupa somewhat knows what a child is and to introduce the existence of tiny humans to the gang. i’m sorry i straight up forget he was a character at points.

qds fixed a lot of this yes yet i still think it’s important to point out on a game standpoint, since most people who play dds don’t end up reading qds, and i really don’t think actual important contextual stuff or major aspects of a game’s themes should be exclusive to books. it’s not as bad as something like fnaf or other mascot horrors—that shit was over a decade later—but it is a major writing issue and i don’t think the fact that the original lead writer got sick and had to leave means there wasn’t a writing decline. you can tell there was stuff that was going to be built upon only to be abandoned or underdeveloped.

it’s extra sad because this is straight up one of the best instances of world-building the series has ever had, and the whole cannibalistic character drama mixed with spiritual and buddhist + hindu themes is something so inherently interesting while also being in some ways taboo??? there’s not a lot of games out there at least not made by indie developers that get that risky since it’s not marketable, and something like that is next to nonexistent now in the mainstream market. we fuckin need games like the dds duology that challenge the status quo and goddammit if it got expanded upon and had more development for side characters that would be actually perfect.

[34saveme34]

Gonna talk some avatar and guardian lore ideas here

cuz Mario having his stache keeping his power has been interesting to me

obviously it's a huge part of his character that he can be hard to recognise him without when he's maybe also wearing a different outfit

it makes me wonder if the other 2 avatars had something like this

like for Spudnick maybe the uh, jumper/full body hoodie thing?? could be it

also the more morbid idea of Fred's the. hands. considering mage and he's not quite himself without like. being able to cast fireball

also makes me wonder of how far it goes

also if you like. unplug the internet from their universes

cuz thinking about it, especially with the godbox the great beyond could maybe feel like the whole internet itself so if they were unplugged from that uh. probably not! It would likely cease to exist

but then what could the godbox exactly symbolise? Obviously it has to do with power but with the internet themes it can't be just some all powerful nebulous thing, right? It just doesn't fit with the themes. It's- a box full of PC parts which I'm still not sure where to put, the fact that it sets on fire from the explosion as well. Cuz it has a few things to it- it feels like- for one, inside it are basically scrapped ideas. It also has influence through memes it corrupts, the whole thing with memes where they become that gray colour and start wreaking havoc. It's like- the godbox took it a step further. The way it can affect memes feely like a corrupted version what the guardians are. which is probably why Niles was corrupted, I don't think it can do ANYTHING else. so basically the godbox is fundamentally flawed. It's like- if you fused guardians and avatars together. like a mass of unstoppably strong meme power so close to everything and simultaniously being supercharged by it and also connecting the world to it, so with this idea it's in overdrive so hard that it's unstable. just like the memes within it

considering how Niles needed a demigod to open it also implies it was closed FOR a reason but I'm left asking, WHO could have initially closed it, was it always a box, what do REALLY the pc parts mean in it, why is it found in like basically splitting through the real world, like travelling between what's real and not

anyways, on the side of the internet, I like the idea better that the connection itself is a different thing from it

and my idea is that the avatars would become normal if you unplugged them. my idea is basically that unplugging from the internet means all the memes stopping to exist

but being normal would also make them weaker

cuz my idea is that internet connection makes them like, supercharged besides becoming (literally) stupid strong also makes them just stupid

like it's a win/lose thing for them

this implies that 4 functions as a connection to the internet, along with 3 in his own way

and you're like whaaaat, are you calling them such powerful things, maybe a fuckin. ethernet cable

no. wifi adapter of the USB kind

the also implies that the guardians dying would mean the universe losing internet connection, therefore just about everything would go back to normal

saying just about cuz no way nothing is downloaded there

anyways. back to avatar powers

we see with Mario that he memes a lot and that's how he uses his power. all he needs is a good meme sound for a situation and he's all set, though it seems he mainly does ones about himself

especially with the voice clips involved

and in general, especially when we see his stache taken he becomes very human. like he tries to Meme and fails. that basically confirms he couldn't do it because it wasn't something an average fat man like him could do

so, since he can do things usually out of his skills and abilities with his meme charged self

and. mpreg Mario is sort of a meme too

we could get him pregnant

[delafiseaseses]

Ruminations on Andy Scabb

So Andy Scabb's a bit of a weird character, ain't he? I think he is. Let's talk about him.

Basics first: Andy Scabb is a Ghoul who lives in The Gray of North Vegas Square. He's a small-time gang leader, his gang consists of him and two men simply called 'Thug' by the game (though there names are pretty clearly Fred and M.) who wear standard wasteland clothing and armed with 10mm weapons. Andy himself also wears a standard outfit, but he carries a 9mm SMG (as well as some jet and dog meat). Technically, I guess you could also say his girlfriend, Alice Hostetler, is a member in the loosest possible sense. But, yeah, that's his gang: small, poorly armed nobodies who live in The Gray.

Andy's Plan

I mentioned Andy has a girlfriend called Alice Hostetler, the daughter of Don and Becky Hostetler (Becky only gets called 'Mrs. Hostetler' in-game and this first name apparently comes from some scripts or somethin'). Mrs. Hostetler is a 'farmer' in a loose sense of the word and Don is an account manager from the Crimson Caravan Company and he also has ties to the Khan drug trade, but that's not important. What is important is that he has money and Andy wants to steal it. This is explained in the 'Henchman message to Andy Scabb' which reads:

'Looks like you were right. The Hostetler man always carries a full pouch back to their house, every night. The same pouch's empty whenever he goes work to Crimson Caravan, Fred's seen it himself. No chance in hell this is all a coincidence. He's bringing something with him whenever he leaves work. That's gotta be his daily cut from the business. Alice's gonna have to find all that dough for us. If we get caught near their place her bitch mother's gonna snap for the big guns... That'll make Crandon, or worse, Jules, come after us. I ain't too happy about risking my neck for nothing, Andy. Let's make sure Alice's a good doggie first, then do whatever you want with her once we are outta this fucking hole. M.'

So, as you can see Andy and his 'Thugs' (M. and Fred) are simply planning to use Alice to rob her family and use the money to leave North Vegas. Getting into Andy's flat and discovering this note spawns the man himself. And he... is a very curious character.

Andy's Dialogue

So, Andy confronts you as you leave The Gray and you're gonna now learn why I think he's such a weird fuckin' guy. He has only a few lines, but he certainly uses 'em.

His first line is 'What are you looking at, huh? Answer me, or I'll get trigger-happy real quick.' starting with a threat, as you'd expect.

You can respond a few ways, including the classic '<Attack> I'm here to kill you.' to which he says 'Nobody threatens me and walks away alive!' but that's the dull option.

The more interesting options are like 'Relax, I was just leaving.' to which he says 'Wait right there. I don't recall seeing your pretty face before - what do you want?' or 'Wait right there. You told my men that Alice's mother was waiting for me outside, didn't you?' as a bit of reaction to how you got into his flat.

You can try to talk your way away and he says 'Hmmm... I've got my eye on you. Get the fuck off my turf.' or 'Please, I've seen kids who were better liars than you. Tell the truth now - what are you after?' the first one shows he considers The Gray his 'turf'... I don't think anyone cares enough to argue with that.

One thing I love about this conversation is that you can just leave without any speech checks or anything. There's 4 instances of that in Andy's rather limited dialogue. 'Nothing, goodbye.' 'Leaving so soon? And I thought we'd have time for a little chat.', 'Goodbye.' 'It's not polite to leave in the middle of a conversation, but I won't try to teach you manners. This time.', 'Goodbye.' 'Yeah, sure.' and another 'Goodbye.' 'That's right, and good riddance.', so, yeah, Andy makes a threat at the start, but you can just leave.

The most interestin' thing is when you actually talk to him about Alice and his plan, such as 'Yes, I did. I know about your plans for Alice.' his reaction... 'You think I give a shit? Has it crossed your mind that Alice is all the way in this with me?' and, honestly, giving a shit is very much not a thing for Andy Scabb. He really doesn't give a shit.

'Why would she be?' 'Maybe because I'm so good-looking. Maybe because her mother's trying to break her back planting crops that die from rads as soon as they're in the ground. Or maybe she's just a dupe. Why do you even care? She's happy making her own way in the world.' which is... again, caring about things too hard seems a bit beyond Scabb, but you can give a few responses to them last lines.

If you say 'She deserves to know the truth.' his response is 'And... you think that's worth her happiness? Go on and tell her, then. Watch what happens when you crush her dreams.' and... he does mean that you can go tell her. He literally only goes hostile if you attack him first.

We can also quite rightly say to Andy 'You're manipulating her into betraying her family.' to which he says the most interesting of his responses 'Family's just what the world throws on our shoulders without our say or opinion. You think Alice cares about her family? Tell her, then. Family's what drove her to me in the first place.' this is the closest to givin' a shit about anything Scabb takes in this conversation. His distain of family and his oddly poetic way of wording it. Still, he again will let you leave.

Even if you ask 'Aren't you afraid I'll blow your plans?' he'll respond 'And how exactly would you do that?' mate, Alice won't split the Hostetler cut with you if she knows you, Fred and M. look down on her?

You can also say 'A cut from the Hostetlers' money, and I might help you.' to which he'll say 'I'm glad we understand each other. Alice's at her home, getting our means out of this shit-hole. Make sure things go smoothly.', but that never happens no matter what. The quest is over after the Alice confrontation at the Hostetler House and Andy is gone no matter what happens.

Interestingly Apathetic

So... you see now why I think Andy's so weird, right? He really doesn't seem to give a shit about anything. He kind of wants to leave 'this shit-hole', but he's either far too confident in his control of Alice or he genuinely doesn't care even slightly if his plan works out.

Like, is he trying to use the idea that 'Alice won't be happy if she knows I'm manipulating' to make you not go to the Hostetler house? It's pretty half-hearted of an attempt. But I guess that's as much as Andy can muster.

The family thing is the most interesting bit. I guess Andy didn't have a good relationship with his family. He may even be a pre-war Ghoul (though that'd make his relationship with Alice even worse than it is). We'll never know.

Most minor antagonists in Fallout New Vegas have confidence and at least some passion. Barton Thorn is confident that he'll kill you after you clear out the Geckos. Logan is confident when he backstabs you. Even the other two minor enemies of Someone to Watch Over Me, Squatter Bill and Greasy Johnny, are far more passionate than Andy Scabb. But you can just tell Andy you'll ruin all his plans and he'll say "Go on then." with limited resistance.

Some Additional Bits

So, as you probably know, some people go on the internet and tell fibs. Would you believe that Andy Scabb is probably subject to such a fib? In his case it's the assertion that Scabb has Strange Meat in his room... I have looked over that room before and found nothin' of the sort. The only meat associated with Andy is some Dog Meat he has. Like, Andy Scabb is a bad guy, but he's not, but he doesn't seem to be a cannibal. Correct me if you think I'm wrong there, and I'll verify it myself and apologise for this part.

Jules knows Andy, and his line about Alice kinda implies he knows Andy is bad news 'Alice … Oh yeah. I've seen her 'round here much too often as of late. I reckon she's been hanging out with Andy and his crew.'

And one last thing: Scabb. His last name is Scabb and he is a Ghoul, this is presumably like the 'Jason Bright is a Glowing One' situation.

[looney-mooney]

Okay so I actually watched the Velma show and I. I don’t entirely hate it! Yes, the opening monologue fuckin SUCKED and the writing is just sorta… NOT GOOD, but it is an absolutely GORGEOUS show visually and you can really tell the artists put their hearts and souls into it. Edit: please pirate it if you do decide to watch it, don’t give HBO your money. And if you have the opportunity, please watch Mysteries Incorporated instead! It is a genuinely much better show! Velma might be pretty, but it still has all the major pitfalls of bad adult swim content, and should be treated as such. And keep in mind if you decide to read this that I am an incurable optimist who is good at seeing the best in bad content. Anyway.

More thoughts under the cut:

I feel like I started enjoying it a lot more when I realized that these characters are shitty because they’re teenagers and they haven’t really had a chance to figure themselves out yet. Fred started as a shitty misogynist, but that’s because he was trying to impress his absolutely godawful father and earn his love by conforming to his expectations. The more he starts hanging out with Velma, the more he starts shunning those toxic masculinity teachings, and starts becoming the genuine, thoughtful, kind himbo we all know and love.

Daphne starts out as a standard “mean girl,” but that’s because she has abandonment issues from her birth parents leaving her and Velma doesn’t let her say anything before making her own assumptions about Daphne’s situation. When in reality, Daphne’s an adrenaline junkie, trying to figure out who her birth parents are in an effort to figure out why she’s so WEIRD - why she loves danger so much, why her hair’s this orange (?), why she’s so effortlessly manipulative and why she just feels like she doesn’t fit in. She has adventures of her own, selling drugs to afford a private investigator, exploring gem-filled caverns to find gangs who might know something, and she’s just. Interesting! Also, her relationship with Velma is really nuanced and fun to watch play out on screen. Because there is an intense mutual attraction, but they both know they’re not ready for a relationship like that until they can learn to be friends again, and they both respect that. And like, they talk about it! They’re both honest about their feelings for eachother, and I’m gonna admit, it’s a little refreshing to see. It’s not a “will they won’t they” so much as it is a “they’re not ready to and they know it”.

Speaking of Velma, she’s a cynical jerk who thinks she knows everything at first, but the more the show goes on, the more she learns to actually listen to other people and take other perspectives into account, and the more she realizes it’s okay to admit when you don’t know anything at all. Because she does screw up. A lot. The narrative in no way justifies her shitty opinions! She’s scared to admit when she doesn’t know something, but she’s slowly learning to accept the inherent mystery of everyday life. Which, is hard! She has a habit of assuming things to fill in the gaps, and like. On one level, it makes her a huge asshole, but on the other hand… she kind of Literally Has To.

Velma, in this show, has a disability where whenever she tries to solve a mystery, there is the possibility that she could start having potentially fatal trauma-induced hallucinations. Shock and/or distractions seem to be the best way to combat these hallucinogenic episodes. The characters around her treat her disability with respect, even as they show concern for her health and wellbeing. They are willing to do almost whatever it takes to combat these hallucinations. Methods used include Norville making her laugh, Daphne giving her her first kiss, and her father telling her he believes her. These don’t always work, and sometimes they’re so intense her heart actually stops and they have to resuscitate her. At the same time, the characters don’t let their concern turn to pity, and they aren’t afraid to put her in her place when she goes too far, because she IS a jerk! The narrative knows this!!! It doesn’t excuse it! Her need to assume she knows everything means she is HORRIBLE at taking the experiences of others into account, or admitting when she’s wrong about something! But she is slowly learning that she doesn’t know everything. That the experiences of others differ from her own experience, and that she CAN be wrong, and that’s OKAY.

Norville starts out insecure and a pushover, but the more the show goes on the more he learns to stand up for himself - and then when he takes it too far and tries to be a “bad boy,” he acknowledges his mistakes and starts learning how to find a healthy balance. His dad’s a guidance counselor, and his mom’s the school principal, and I think he’s becoming sort of a leader in his own right. Norville doesn’t start out as a shit person, so his character arc is more nuanced, but I think he’s learning and growing just as much as everyone else.

Overall, these characters are misguided, underdeveloped, horny, stubborn, confused, deeply affected by the adults in their lives, and learning how to be better people, just like any teenager. The more the show goes on, the more they all grow. And the more they grow, the closer they get as people. The more they care about eachother, learn to listen to one another, and I think they’re slowly becoming the gang we all know and love.

They’re just… taking their time with telling the story of how it happened. Although I will admit that the story’s pretty muddled by the weird jokes and violence interspersed, though that’s unfortunately pretty par for the course for adult animation, so I’m able to ignore it for things like the stunning set design, animation, and hallucination sequences.

Also, I love Daphne’s moms! They’re sweet, they’re nerdy, they’re shit cops but like in a Deputy Durland and Sheriff Blubbs kinda way, and I feel like they’re exactly the kind of vaguely-stupid but endlessly doting adults that fit right in at a community like Crystal Cove. And adding onto that, the background characters all have such good designs! I love pausing the show and staring at the character designs in crowd shots, because every single design is memorable in their own ways, which makes the community as a whole feel real and diverse, like everyone’s the main character of their own stories too.

I feel like this is a show that put its worst foot forward, and I will admit that I honestly think they did that on purpose. Which sucks, because once you get past that initial “oh god how dare they,” there’s something good there. Yeah, the writing kinda sucks, but you can see where they’re going with it, you can follow along with the mystery elements, and this show is just so genuinely stunning in its visuals. It’s worse than a lot of Scooby doo media, but better than a lot of adult swim shows out there, and it IS genuinely going somewhere. The good parts of it are in the long game, if you’re patient enough to see it through.

I will admit I skipped the first cold open, because that opening monologue just made me cringe so much it hurt, and I don’t feel like I missed anything, sooo… yeah. I will also admit there are a lot of lines I really hate. The language these characters use feels like it’s designed to be as rage-inducing as possible, or at least are used by people who don’t entirely understand what these words mean. But also, like. Velma in this show does feel like someone who sometimes uses words she doesn’t entirely understand, but is too stubborn to admit she doesn’t entirely understand them? Which. I have met teenagers like that. Like, I’m not saying this show is amazing, or that it doesn’t deserve a lot of the criticism it’s been getting. What I’m saying is that it’s not ALL bad.

Please pirate it, because HBO max doesn’t deserve our money after what it did to animation, but maybe be a little less vitriolic in the hatred for it? It’s cynical, sure, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t things to like about it. I don’t know, maybe it’s just my unrelenting optimism shining through, or maybe I just subconsciously love finding the best in bad media, but I think this show DOES have something genuine to offer. Maybe all it has to offer is amazing animation, extremely well-done set design, really fun and diverse character design, absolutely phenomenal color palettes and compositing, and a small semblance of character development, but you know what? Maybe that’s enough for me.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

"Then I Am Too." Spencer Gallagher X Human! Fred Krueger.

Well hello! It was the lovely @pyr0sadist’s birthday on the 17th! We are birthday buddies and fellow Freddy fuckers so obviously I had to do something! Sorry it is a little late but I still I hope you love it! Everyone enjoy this little smut piece with Leo’s wonderful character Spencer Gallagher and human Fred! Happy birthday yet again Leo!

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 1.8K. Spencer Gallagher X Human! Fred Krueger. Warnings: Praise. Dirty Talk. Oral Sex. Blow Job. Throat Fucking. Sloppy. Semi-Public Sex. Bathroom Sex. Groping. Penetrative Sex. Creampie. 

—

He wasn’t expecting it to be perfectly honest. 

Not like he thought he wasn’t good company or horribly ugly or undateable but getting asked out while at work? Seemed so unlikely, the thought never once entered Spencer’s mind. But that is just what happened. 

Stocking and consumed with the task at hand he didn’t even hear the other man approach. He stood next to him, looking down at Spencer, crouched and busy, he liked the look of him and after a moment he spoke up, calling his attention. “Hey.”

He looked up, a small sound of surprise leaving him before a smile overtook his face, trying to be hospitable, also trying to ignore how attractive the man looming above him was. “Uh hi! Is there anything I can help you with?”

He sighed leaning against the shelf, “Nothin’ major, just somethin’ on my mind, a little question I think only you can answer for me.” 

Spencer perked up at that, “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“One. What your number is.” He grinned, arm resting on the shelf as he leaned closer to the man still crouched down, “An’ two. What are your dinner plans for tonight?”

That is how Spencer finds himself headed to the restaurant the man, Freddy he learned his name was, told him he picked out when he called after his shift finished. Freddy was waiting outside, leaning against the wall next to the front door finishing off a cigarette, a smile across his face upon seeing him, “There he is, right on time.”

“Hey.” Came the response, watching as the man who asked him out that evening dropped the remainder of his smoke and stomped it out before holding the door open with a gesture of his other hand, “After you.”

Spencer hadn’t been to this particular restaurant before but he had to give it up. The food was not only startlingly good but fairly priced, and the conversation wasn’t anything to complain about either. 

Freddy was an interesting kind of guy, had clearly done a lot of living already, rough around the edge but with this strange and undefinable and undeniable kind of charm to him that Spencer felt drawn to. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“I’ve been doing all the asking so far, please.” Freddy encouraged with a gesture of his hand and Spencer cleared his throat before asking, “Why’d you ask me out?”

A light chuckle before he asked another question, “Why do you think I did?”

He wasn’t expecting his question to be met with another question. He thought for a moment before answering honestly, “I…I don’t know.”

“You really don’t know?” Freddy asked, setting his silverware down. “I really don’t.”

“Spencey, baby-” He was a little shocked by the sudden nickname but he wasn’t upset over it, he actually liked it. 

“-you are cute, really fuckin’ cute and I wanted to get to know you better and so far I think you are pretty fun and interesting.” 

Well he felt a little stupid now. I mean that all tracked and made sense, of course he would think something to that effect, why would Freddy ask out someone he wasn’t into or didn’t find attractive? 

“I feel the same way.” It left him before he fully realised what he was saying, but he meant it all the same.

It was a great date by all accounts. Dinner was just about done and Spencer honestly didn’t want to leave yet, he was wondering how to suggest they don’t call it here, to keep the evening going. He took a moment for himself, excusing himself to the bathroom.

He was washing his hands when he heard the door swing open, he looked in the mirror to see he wasn’t alone, a smile crossed his face, about to ask a question but before he could Freddy was on him. Hands on his shoulders and turning him around to face him, pulling him along, walking backwards to one of the stalls. Spencer didn’t fight it, went right along with him and once the door was closed and he was being kissed with so much heat he struggled to take in what was happening. 

He was being so forward, so forceful, the action caught him so off guard and turned him on almost immediately, pulling back, already slightly out of breath he asked, “Wha-what are you doing?”

Rough hands moved, one on the back of his neck and the other sliding down his side, “Awe thought it was obvious Spencey, you’re smart, I think you can figure out what a man like me is after.” He felt the press of a clothed erection against his hip and the intentions were made more than clear. 

“Freddy-” He breathed and the other man pressed on, another rock of his hips, grinding himself further, “Just look at you, fuck, how can I resist? I thought you looked good back at the store but now? All dressed up for our date, dressed up for me?” 

A soft groan, “I mean feel how fucking hard I am, you did that hon.” 

He flushed at the praise, at how filthy this was, at the tone of his voice and what he said, how hot it was and most importantly, how hot it made him feel. He felt wanted, desired and he went along with it all easily and readily, being wanted like this, how could he ever dream of saying no?

“I did that.” He said it softly, as if saying it himself would really make it true and stick in his own mind. The grip on the back of his neck tightened, he leaned in closer, warm breath over the side of his face, a tease of his tongue, “You sure did. Now what are you gonna do about itm, pretty boy?”

One thought, one idea entered his mind and so he first gripped his shoulders and kissed him, hard and rough, taking the way that he had. He pressed into the erection digging into him causing Freddy to stiffen before he started to return the affection. A few more filthy kisses, the older man forcing his tongue into the mix before his want was too much and Spencer dropped down, hands going to the belt now at eye level. He rushed to open it, he didn’t care about where they were, if anything it made it hotter, he didn’t usually do stuff like this, filthy and nasty. 

He pulled him out of the confines of his clothing, heavy and hot in his palm, mouth watering as he took a moment to admire him before leaning in. His tongue flicked over the tip, collecting the bead of pre-cum that had already accumulated, he tasted way too good, lips wrapping around the head and taking him in, sucking lightly. He was rewarded to the sound of a harsh inhale above him, his eyes flick up to see his eyes closed, head pitched forward, lips parted. 

He needed more, needed to wreck him. He sucked harder, hand wrapped around the base of his shaft, slow stroke up and down as he took more into his mouth, he felt more confident the louder he moaned. The curse he pulled out of of him, that soft, “Shit-”

Made him throb in the confines of his own clothes. He needed some relief, Spencer fucked his own mouth as if that would do something to ease the need as opposed to worsening it. Bobbing up and down, spit leaking down his chin, threatening to fall and stain his dress shirt, it was all too much and he pulled back. He kept his hand on him, stroking the full length of him, the head of his dick resting against his cheek as he kept his pace easy, staring up and once Fred opened his eyes, he asked, “Fuck me?”

“Oh Spencey. Get up here.” The way he said it, no one had ever spoken to him like that, commanded him, he let go of his dripping shaft and stood. He was turned around quickly, pressed into the wall of the stall as two hands reached around to the front, started to take off his pants, he breathed out, “Hurry, fuck, need you-”

“Awe I know, I’m here, I’ll make it all better.” He practically purred it into his ear, soon clothes taken out of the way, dropped around his ankles and he was palmed through his underwear, “Oh yes-”

A rock of his hips forward into the contact, needing more, hand slipped past the last layer and felt him. 

His head was a mess, practically swimming, touched and teased, fingers sliding in, scissoring and working. That heavy weight to his back was a comfort, made him throb more, he squirmed and begged, “Please?”

“You think you got me wet enough to slip in real easy?” He asked and Spencer nodded frantically, “Yeahhh, please, M’ ready.” 

Underwear peeled down strong hand on one hip, the other on his shoulder, he adjusted him, got a better angle before lining up and sliding inside. A shared groan broke out from the pair, he arched back, closer, needing more contact. Fred’s hands slid over him, one up his shirt, hand flat on his stomach, the other staying locked on his hip as he began to move and fuck him. 

“I knew you’d feel good but holy shit-” He moaned and Spencer nodded along, a broken moan, “Yea-ahhh, so, so good.”

He wasn’t counting on how good it would feel either, being stretched wide open and touched like this, so intimately and roughly at the same time. It wasn’t going to take much, all the build up, how long it had been for him, hips canting back, moving with him, creating their own rhythm as he felt it building up inside. 

In just a few short minutes, more groping and pawing, more dirty talk filling his ears, he was panting out his approaching end and was rewarded with a sweet, “Yeahhh? Handsome boy gonna cum for me?”

Another frantic nod, hands back, needing more contact still, hands finding Fred’s hips, “Yes, yes, yes-”

Panting out that single word matching every single thrust until his body tensed, eyes squeezing shut and he came with a strangled cry that hardly left the back of his throat. Freddy wasn’t far behind, it felt far too good to handle and Spencer’s orgasm was the trigger for his own, harder and quicker thrusts before holding in deep before holding deep, spilling inside as the aftershocks still rocked the body he was inside of. He practically milked it out of him, clenching hole serving to make his own pleasure so much better. 

The pair were struggling to catch their breath, still wrapped up in each other, reluctant to pull away just yet. 

But what is a few more minutes?

[40orangecuck]

ok ok I think I know who’s going in part 2. it’s gotta be Nancy. here’s some reasons why.

think about it: Nancy is ALL about the future. she plans and plans and plans for plans. she’s going to attend Emerson, she’s going to reunite with Johnathan, she’s going to be a journalist. that’s what would make her death so tragic and blindsiding to the audience: of all the characters, she’s the last one you’d expect to see dead because you already see her future as clearly as she does.

additionally, Nancy is a harbinger of death to her non-romantic interest supporting characters. I was surprised she didn’t react more to Fred’s death because that’s the second time someone was killed by the upside down after she left them alone. I think Nancy finally facing the deaths of Fred and Barb could trigger an emotional breakdown that Vecna will prey on. alternatively, she could be consumed by survivor’s guilt and sacrifice herself to save her friends and family, acting with the same loyalty and selflessness she showed when diving after Steve without hesitation.

I hate fridging so much but I also think Nancy’s death would bring out a side in Steve we’ve never seen before. there’s some suggestions that Steve is building up to a “you’re the only one for me” moment with Nancy, which would be so, SO SHATTERING if it was followed by Nancy’s death (perhaps even worse than Steve himself dying, since he would end up a god damn husk of a man). I think with the cast descriptions of part two, it would even be game for Steve to witness Nancy sacrifice herself for him and everyone else. because that. that would fuckin huuuurrrrrt. and imagine the guilt Johnathan would feel about not wanting to go to emerson with her or not visiting her. so much angst. the never-ending love triangle ending in the most explosively tragic way imaginable.

[strangeswift]

hi! what are your sexuality headcanons? for byler and any other characters! :) feel free to go into depth if you'd like 💛

Yay!!! Love this.

Most of my sexuality headcanons are purely vibe based?? Call it gaydar I guess.

Team Lesbiab:

El Hopper

Barb Holland

Becky Ives

Robin Buckley obviously but that's canon

Angela

The Bisexual Squad

Max Mayfield

Lucas Sinclair

Nancy Wheeler

Jonathan Byers

Eden Bingham

Chrissy Cunningham

Vickie but that's just canon right??

Melissa <3

Carol Perkins (I ship her and Barb enemies to lovers I'm gonna write a fic and you can't stop me)

Eddie I guess? He could also be gay or straight too I don't know. Putting him here to cover my bases.

Probably Murray

Team GAY

Will Byers (canon)

Mike Wheeler (I am a gay Mike truther, primarily because "It's not my fault you don't like girls" reads as projection to me, which only makes sense if he's gay.)

Henry Creel BUT DON'T MAKE IT FUCKING WEIRD YA'LL JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Team Straight But We Love Them Anyway

Dustin Henderson

Steve Harrington

Fred Benson (this is an unpopular opinion! But he's just straight to me idk)

Don't kill me but... Argyle. I like the idea of him being a himbo ally, like Steve but even better.

ALSO Tommy H is fuckin straight idc what his actor says. The LGBT+ community respectfully passes him back to the straights.

Anyone else I didn't name just assume I think they're straight. I didn't want to list every straight character so I just listed the interesting ones.

[s1mpl3sp0ng3]

that was an hour and a half commercial for mario games

and i fucking loved every second of it

MARIO MOVIE SPOILERS AHEAD!!

bad stuff (that's not really even bad tbh) first:

toad and peach's introductions felt very, very rushed in and i wish they could've given more time to the mushroom kingdom downtown tbh

all the toads being the exact same kinda irked me but that's been a nintendo problem for at least a decade now so. i don't necessarily blame the movie for that

not enough bowser or luigi. i wanted MOAR (but what we got was awesome)

i feel like it didn't devote enough time to fleshing peach's backstory out? like what she mentioned was super interesting and i hope it comes back around full circle in the sequel if it happens

some of the line reads from fred armisen could've been better, he sounded kinda bored (also more of that dk and mario parallel could've been done)

i would've liked to see more peach on her own, they gave her a really interesting setup but she kinda just falls a little flat compared to mario and luigi and doesn't really get a lot of scenes just to herself

not enough charles martinet

there were so many slow-mo shots?? why, like that's technically not bad but there were like 5

the good

IIIII LOVE MARIO AND DK'S RELATIONSHIP they're so stupid i love them seth rogen dk was pretty damn good

crisp rat actually did pretty damn good? i forgot it was him halfway through the movie

charlie kelly luigi. oh my god

jack black put his whole bowsussy into this role

the fight/battle scenes were REALLY kinetic and they didn't pull their punches when it came to these characters absolutely whaling on each other (also very very cool detail that mario didn't sustain physical injuries in the mushroom kingdom but does in brooklyn)

peach was already a badass but they cranked it up to ten here, and it's really nice they didn't go "i'm not like the other girls" with it. what i love about peach is her kindness, bravery, and compassion for her people! they nailed that

illumination did their homework, none of the references or sight/audio gags felt out of place

the score is so good holy shit that end credits theme fucks so hard

illumination didn't do any of the usual annoying shit! no real pop culture references outside of nintendo, no annoying side characters, no bland or boring protags, almost none of it felt like an illumination movie and that fucked

love that they kept mario and luigi in their usual clothes throughout the movie WITH a realistic explanation as to why they dress like that in brooklyn. it made them fit into the world around them while still being visually distinct (that being said seeing them in casual clothes more would've been cool)

they did mario and luigi's relationship perfectly. when they hugged and mario cupped luigi's face in his hands so lovingly... goddamn. they love each other so much!! they're such good brothers!!

there were so many deep cut references, i definitely was not expecting the eel

what they ended up doing with the kongs was hella interesting even if it was the part of the movie that felt the most like an ad for mario kart

i love that actual love and care went into this movie. it has flaws but at its core it feels like mario and that's all i could ever ask for. letsa fuckin go.

bout 2 watch tha mario movie i will come back with thoughts

[cometcrystal]

scoob review

this movie is okay. the last 30 minutes are the best part and the first hour or so is pretty boring. also this is not a scooby doo movie it's a hanna-barbera crossover movie. and that's okay! but it's not a scooby doo movie

the good

EPIC SHAGGY AND SCOOBY FRIENDSHIP MOMENTS. i LOVED their origin story it was so sweet

LOVED the mask gag at the end. that was the one bit of meta i enjoyed

literally pogchamped when fred put the ascot on. probably my fav moment in the movie was that. for the mystery machine

dynomutt was great

vacuum head/dusty is My son

the little robot minions in general were really fuckin cute

dastardly and muttley's reunion? so sweet

i'm always emo when the gang hugs whether it's a two person hug or a group hug

the shaggy and scooby fight felt realistic and made me feel things. well done!

the captain cavemen segment was pretty fun and cartoony and i enjoyed it even tho i don't care about captain caveman

GREAT music which is always appreciated. the song playing at the end while brian was DJing was my favorite. gonna have to look that up later

the animation was SOOOO CUUUUTE more of this style please

i'm ALWAYS ALWAYS a slut for scooby doo going cosmic and scooby himself having supernatural importance. i loved it when mystery inc did it and i loved it when this movie did it

the bad

i know this is a worn-out topic but i wasn't fond of the gang's new voices. i told myself i could give them a chance before i judged them, and i gave them a chance, and they're still bad. there's no personality there at all and shaggy's voice just doesn't hit the mark. yes i KNOW this is a modern scooby but part of the gang's appeal is that they feel timeless

daphne fred and velma should have been in the movie more

did not like daphne's characterization in this movie. she felt off. daphne's sweet ofc but she felt way too generic Nice Pretty Girl in this movie when usually she's got more of a... daphne-ness to her

as a fred stan, this fred is okay, but not the best. he's a lil ditzy but not quite ditzy enough but i'm glad he wasn't bullied in this movie he doesn't deserve it

deedee should have been the new blue falcon. i didn't care about brian at all

NOBODY COMFORTED FRED WHEN HE WAS UPSET ABOUT THE MYSTERY MACHINE FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

i don't really like it when scooby media tries to be meta about itself. you know like the line where the bowling alley clerk said shaggy talked like what a an adult from the 60's thought a teenager sounded like. the meta always ends up obnoxious instead of witty and charming. we KNOW that the villain is always a real estate agent in a mask we KNOW that the characters were originally flat archetypes we KNOWWWW YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP MAKING SARCASTIC JOKES ABOUT IT. DO SOMETHING INTERESTING. this movie didn't do that TOO much but i started thinking about the concept and got angry. but it's there slightly

i didn't like how the movie acted like the rest of the gang dumped shaggy and scooby??? that literally didn't happen??? when simon cowell called them useless the rest of the gang was calling for them to come back! what was that accusation of dumping them about? they love their friends

dinosaur shit is briefly shown on screen

3/5 needs more traps made by fred

[zeleniafic]

6-13 salty asks for HP.

6 - Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

Not that I can think of tbfh! I am a stubborn bitch lmfao

7 - Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

Dumbledore. DUMBLEDORE. I could write an entire essay on his manipulating ass oh my god. Also kinda Seamus Finnigan's whole pyrotechnic shtick, that always made me laugh a lot as a kid who was also prone to such ridiculous accidents, but someone pointed out how shit it was for The Hag That Must Not Be Named to make literally the only prominent Irish character known almost exclusively for causing explosions, within the context of British-Irish political tension at the time HP was written and I'm not in the know enough to convey all of it properly but anyway it just makes me sad now :)))))

8 - Have you received anon hate? What about?

Oh countless things but my FAVORITE was posting Regulus/f!oc content and then stumbling across several responses calling it and similar works homophobic bc apparently it's popular on ao3 that he's gay?? or at least it is within a specific circle??? Idk. Being a teenager on the internet is wild and I have chosen to simply forget that I ever saw that bc I know for a fact that I was also that dumb and self-righteous along the hellish journey of growing up

9 - Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Snape. Being abused does not excuse never dealing with your trauma and perpetuating the cycle with the children in YOUR care, not to mention overtly threatening their pets, and that's not even getting into the way he was okay with letting the woman he was infatuated with's husband and literal baby die as long as she was spared for him to swoop in on :))))) similar to Dumbledore I think he's interesting as a CHARACTER but if I met him in real life I would swing on sight

10 - Most disliked arc? Why?

I... honestly can't think of one??? I truly enjoyed every arc, as far as I can remember. Although if I had to nail one down I'd prob say the whole time period where Ron leaves in DH, but it's not so much that I dislike the way it was written, it's just that I personally hold grudges like my life depends on it and child me was not ready to forgive him when Harry was LMFAO I was mad salty as a kid

11 - Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

Once upon a time I would have said Regulus but there's been a renaissance of love for him so I kinda feel like "unpopular" doesn't apply anymore. Although that's in the writing/editing sphere, so maybe still in the greater fandom as a whole?? Idk I don't interact with HP in the wild anymore so I can't say tbfh. Fleur and Ginny both, once upon a time, bc I remember when fandom fuckin hated both of them but thankfully that seems to have gone away!

12 - Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

The only thing that comes to mind is the way 7th year went, I guess? I think I remember being really disappointed at first as a kid, but then I got swept on that journey and idk. I like the way DH makes the war feel REAL by literally putting everything about Harry's life on hold, right down to not getting to finish school properly.

13 - Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

Oh I've got two fun ones. A) Hermione actually is fucking obnoxious sometimes, and that's okay. Acknowledging it doesn't reduce her character or something. B) Fred and George are actually fucking MEAN sometimes, similar to how the Marauders took things too far at times. I love all of them (**except Wormtail, he can eat shit and die xx) but sometimes people kind of... woobify?? their shitty behavior and I don't like that. You can love them all without excusing or ignoring that they made dumb shitty decisions as teenagers. We literally all do, the difference is that they grew up and matured, unlike certain Potions professo—

[george-fabian-weasley]

Congrats again on this amazing milestone bb! I’m always interested to see which character people remind me of! 🤺🤺🤺 I’m a hufflepuff and am incredibly loyal and am a kind person. I kind of have a hard shell and can seek intimidating but once you get to know me I’m just a softie tbh. I’m very quick witted and am always cracking a joke. I’m quite ambitious but never put my goals above the people I love and my moral compass.

HIIII LANIEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE WISH ILY <333

You remind me of George Weasley!

Let's face it, George and Fred are 6'3 and beaters, there would be some who are intimidated by them

Blimey even I WOULD

But once you get to know George, he's just this naughty little rascal who needs parental guidance ever 5 seconds because this kid loves to prank so much

Out in the public, they might see George as this confident tall guy, incredibly handsome, a jock definitely

Not that they were wrong ; but there is so much more to George than they know

George is very loyal to his friends and family, even to point of protecting his brother's friends when needed

He was c r u s h e d when Percy left home for the Ministry, he felt so very betrayed (that slimy git)

George is also very ambitious you cannot tell me this is not true; let's face it folks, he and his brother created a line of magical sweets when they were STILL in school

And not only sweets, even prank tools! Let's be honest here, if it wasn't for all these pre-Weasley prank products, the twins would've never thought to open a joke shop

George was the brilliant mastermind of all pranks and jokes they had, Fred suggests the idea and George plans it perfectly to happen

This guy is so fuckin smart MA I LOVE HIM

He is the exact definition of just because yo're not smart academically doesn't mean you're not smart at all

George just gives this vibe around him that says 'hey im a teddy bear at heart'

and he is, he definitely is. And to me, lanie gives off the same vibe as George!

She's kind, she's friendly, so so very sweet and her works are de-scrump-dilly-iciously amazing and i love her so much <3

[birdlord]

Everything I Watched in 2020

We’ll start with movies. The number in parentheses is the year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year. Here’s 2019’s list. 

01 Little Women (19)

02 The Post (17) 

03 Molly’s Game (17)

04 * Doctor No (62)

05 Groundhog Day (93)

06 *Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home (86)

07 Knives Out (19) My last theatre experience (sob)

08 Professor Marston and his Wonder Women (17)

09 Les Miserables (98)

10 Midsommar (19) I’m not sure how *good* it is, but it does stick in the ol’ brain

11 *Manhattan Murder Mystery (93)

12 Marriage Story (19)

13 Kramer vs Kramer (79)

14 Jojo Rabbit (19)

15 J’ai perdu mon corps (19) a cute animated film about a hand detached from its body!

16 1917 (19)

17 Married to the Mob (88)

18 Klaus (19)

19 Portrait of a Lady on Fire (19) If Little Women made me want to wear a scarf criss-crossed around my torso, this one made me want to wear a cloak

20 The Last Black Man in San Francisco (19)

21 *Lawrence of Arabia (62)

22 Gone With the Wind (39)

23 Kiss Me Deadly (55)

24 Dredd (12)

25 Heartburn (86) heard a bunch about this one in the Blank Check series on Nora Ephron, sadly after I’d watched it

26 The Long Shot (19)

27 Out of Africa (85)

28 King Kong (46)

29 *Johnny Mnemonic (95)

30 Knocked Up (07)

31 Collateral (04)

32 Bird on a Wire (90)

33 The Black Dahlia (05)

34 Long Time Running (17)

35 *Magic Mike (12)

36 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (07)

37 Cold War (18)

38 *Kramer Vs Kramer (79) yes I watched this a few months before! This was a pandemic friend group co-watch.

39 *Burn After Reading (08)

40 Last Holiday (50)

41 Fly Away Home (96)

42 *Moneyball (11) I’m sure I watch this every two years, at most??

43 Last Holiday (06) the Queen Latifah version of the 1950 movie above, lacking, of course, the brutal “poor people don’t deserve anything good” ending

44 *Safe (95)

45 Gimme Shelter (70)

46 The Daytrippers (96)

47 Experiment in Terror (62)

48 Tucker: The Man and His Dream (88)

49 My Brilliant Career (79) one of the salvations of 2020 was watching movies “with” friends. Our usual method was to video chat before the movie, sync our streaming services, and text-chat while the movie was on. 

50 Divorce Italian Style (61)

51 *Gosford Park (01) another classic comfort watch, fuck I love a G. Park

52 Hopscotch (80)

53 Brief Encounter (45)

54 Hud (63)

55 Ocean’s 8 (18)

56 *Beverly Hills Cop (84)

57 Blow the Man Down (19)

58 Constantine (05)

59 The Report (19) maddening!! How are people so consistently terrible to one another!

60 Everyday People (04)

61 Anatomy of a Murder (58)

62 Spiderman: Homecoming (17)

63 *To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (95) Of the 90s drag road movies, Priscilla is more visually striking, but this has its moments.

64 Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (92)

65 *The Truman Show (98)

66 Mona Lisa (86)

67 The Blob (58)

68 The Guard (11)

69 *Waiting for Guffman (96) RIP Fred Willard

70 Rocketman (19)

71 Outside In (18)

72 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (08) how strange to see a movie that you have known the premise for, but no details of, for over a decade

73 *Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country (91)

74 The Reader (08)

75 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (19) This was fine until it VERY MUCH WAS NOT FINE

76 The End of the Affair (99) you try to watch a fun little romp about infidelity during the Blitz, and Graham Greene can’t help but shoehorn in a friggin crisis of religious faith

77 Must Love Dogs (05) barely any dog content, where are the dogs at

78 The Rainmaker (97)

79 *Batman & Robin (97)

80 National Lampoon’s Vacation (83) Never seen any of the non-xmas Vacations, didn’t realize the children are totally different, not just actors but ages! Also, this one is blatantly racist!

81 *Mystic Pizza (88)

82 Funny Girl (68)

83 The Sons of Katie Elder (65)

84 *Knives Out (19) another re-watch within the same year!! How does this keep happening??

85 *Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (10) a real I-just-moved-away-from-Toronto nostalgia watch

86 Canadian Bacon (92) vividly recall this VHS at the video store, but I never saw it til 2020

87 *Blood Simple (85)

88 Brittany Runs a Marathon (19)

89 The Accidental Tourist (88)

90 August Osage County (13) MELO-DRAMA!!

91 Appaloosa (08)

92 The Firm (93) Feeling good about how many iconic 80s/90s video store stalwarts I watched in 2020

93 *Almost Famous (00)

94 Whisper of the Heart (95)

95 Da 5 Bloods (20)

96 Rain Man (88)

97 True Stories (86)

98 *Risky Business (83) It’s not about what you think it’s about! It never was!

99 *The Big Chill (83)

100 The Way We Were (73)

101 Safety Last (23) It’s getting so that I might have to add the first two digits to my dates...not that I watch THAT many movies from the 1920s...

102 Phantasm (79)

103 The Burrowers (08)

104 New Jack City (91)

105 The Vanishing (88)

106 Sisters (72)

107 Puberty Blues (81) Little Aussie cinema theme, here

108 Elevator to the Gallows (58)

109 Les Diaboliques (55)

110 House (77) haha WHAT no really W H A T

111 Death Line (72)

112 Cranes are Flying (57)

113 Holes (03)

114 *Lady Vengeance (05)

115 Long Weekend (78)

116 Body Double (84)

117 The Crazies (73) I love that Romero shows the utter confusion that would no doubt reign in the case of any kind of disaster. Things fall apart.

118 Waterlilies (07)

119 *You’re Next (11)

120 Event Horizon (97)

121 Venom (18) I liked it, guys, way more than most superhero fare. Has a real sense of place and the place ISN’T New York!

122 Under the Silver Lake (18) RIP Night Call

123 *Blade Runner (82)

124 *The Birds (62) interesting to see now that I’ve read the story it came from

125 *28 Days Later (02) hits REAL FUCKIN’ DIFFERENT in a pandemic

126 Life is Sweet (90)

127 *So I Married an Axe Murderer (93) find me a more 90s movie, I dare you (it’s not possible)

128 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (67)

129 The Pelican Brief (93) 90s thrillers continue!

130 Dick Johnston is Dead (20)

131 The Bridges of Madison County (95)

132 Earth Girls are Easy (88) Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are so hot in this movie, no wonder they got married 

133 Better Watch Out (16)

134 Drowning Mona (00) trying for something like the Coen bros and not getting there

135 Au Revoir Les Enfants (87)

136 *Chasing Amy (97) Affleck is the least alluring movie lead...ever? I also think I gave Joey Lauren Adams’ character short shrift in my memory of the movie. It’s not good, but she’s more complicated than I recalled. 

137 Blackkklansman (18)

138 Being Frank (19)

139 Kiki’s Delivery Service (89)

140 Uncle Frank (20) why so many FRANKS

141 *National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89) watching with pals (virtually) made it so much more fun than the usual yearly watch!

142 Half Baked (98) another, more secret Toronto nostalgia pic - RC Harris water filtration plant as a prison!

143 We’re the Millers (13)

144 All is Bright (13)

145 Defending Your Life (91)

146 Christmas Chronicles (18) I maintain that most new xmas movies are terrible, particularly now that Netflix churns them out like eggnog every year. 

147 Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (18)

148 Reindeer Games (00) what did I say about Affleck??!? WHAT DID I SAY

149 Palm Springs (20)

150 Happiest Season (20)

151 *Metropolitan (90) it’s definitely a Christmas movie

152 Black Christmas (74)

THEATRE:HOME - 2:150 (thanks pandemic)

I usually separate out docs and fiction, but I watched almost no documentaries this year (with the exception of Dick Johnston). Reality is real enough. 

TV Series

01 - BoJack Horseman (final season) - Pretty damned poignant finish to the show, replete with actual consequences for our reformed bad boy protagonist (which is more than you can say for most antiheroes of Peak TV).

02 - *Hello Ladies - I enjoy the pure awkwardness of seeing Stephen Merchant try to perform being a Regular Person, but ultimately this show tips him too far towards a nasty, Ricky Gervais-lite sort of persona. Perhaps he was always best as a cameo appearance, or lip synching with wild eyes while Chrissy Teigen giggles?

03 - Olive Kittredge - a rough watch by times. I read the book as well, later in the year. Frances Mcdormand was the best, possibly the only, casting option for the flinty lead. One episode tips into thriller territory, which is a shock. 

04 - *The Wire S3, S4, S5 - lockdown culture! It was interesting to rewatch this, then a few months later go through an enormous, culture-level reappraisal of cop-centred narratives. 

05 - Forever - a Maya Rudolph/Fred Armisen joint that coasts on the charm of its leads. The premise is OK, but I wasn’t left wanting any more at the end. 

06 - *Catastrophe - a rewatch when my partner decided he wanted to see it, too!

07 - Red Oak - resolutely “OK” steaming dramedy, relied heavily on some pretty obvious cues to get across its 1980s setting. 

08 - Little Fires Everywhere - gulped this one down while in 14-day isolation, delicious! Every 90s suburban mom had that SUV, but not all of them had the requisite **secrets**

09 - The Great - fun historical comedy/drama! Costumes: lush. Actors: amusing. Race-blind casting: refreshing!

10 - The Crown S4 - this is the season everyone lost their everloving shit for, since it’s finally recent enough history that a fair chunk of the viewing audience is liable to recall it happening. 

11 - Ted Lasso - we resisted this one for a while (thought I did enjoy the ad campaign for NBC sports (!!) that it was based on). My view is that its best point was the comfort that the men on the show have (or develop, throughout the season) with the acknowledgement and sharing of their own feelings. Masculinity redux. 

12 - Moonbase 8 - Goodnatured in a way that makes you certain they will be crushed. 

13 - The Good Lord Bird - Ethan Hawke is really aging into the character actor we always hoped he would be! 

14 - Hollywood - frothy wish-fulfillment alternate history. I think the show would have been improved immeasurably by skipping the final episode.

[dreamychick]

Shit noticed on this go around in Goblet of Fire when I re read it as an adult.

Harry wore them but was not as excited for those socks Dobby made as he should have been. They sounded awesome. He made them by hand and was something he knew you loved Harry. Be more grateful.

We've said it before but. Fred and Angelina really go to the Ball together. Only for her to get married to George after Fred dies in the end. So. This moment means nothing.

All of the Champions either are or take a Quidditch player to the Ball.

Harry

Cedric

Krum

And Fleur takes the Ravenclaw Captain. What the hell is up with that? Jocks united? Only Quidditch stars can go as champions? Jesus.

What are the fucking odds that Harry actually saw Rita skeeter bug and just didnt know it at the time? Like he actually was right next to her. In the WHOLE garden. She was just. Right there huh.

When they go off to Hogsmead before Ludo offers to help him with the egg they see Krum dive into the lake, he probably had the clue figured out at that point. That's why he was going in. To practice swimming in the lake itself right?

When Harry takes a bath to figure out the egg there is a Mermaid portrait in the room. There is a portrait in the bathroom. Portraits are alive. They can speak to you. This sentient mermaid can watch underage children bathe and that makes me uncomfortable thinking what other kinds of paintings are in other bathrooms.

Myrtle helps harry alot with his egg clue and hes pretty rude to her. I mean shes a bit of a pervert sure. But she does close her eyes when he goes in and out so shes not looking at anything she shouldnt. But when she just asks for him to visit he completly blows her off. Like what an ass.

After he gets stuck in the trick stair and almost gets caught the not Mad eye tells him he should be an Auror. He says "Interesting idea....he'd like to check how scarred the rest of them were before he chose it as a career."

And then he just.....chooses it as a career? Really?

Snape reads a whole gossip collum about a student out loud to the class just to humiliate him. And then moves him to sit in front of him to quietly intimidate him so noone else can hear him. Teacher of the fuckin year.

Sirius loves Harry so much he lives off rats to survive just to be near him just in case hes needed. Thats fucking love bitch.

Teenagers are bitches they really sent Hermione hate mail because of an article that she was being a two-timer on Harry. I'm not saying it's not realistic I'm just saying the teenagers are bitches.

Nifflers are fluffy black creatures with long snouts thank you for that description once again and for confirming that what I said all along was true. In what universe is that platypus looking thing a niffler? He is very cute but he's not a niffler.

Nothing electrical Works no computers nothing with electricity they say so does that mean that I wouldn't have a phone or an iPod or anyting? How the hell do I listen to my music when I'm studying do I have to learn how to Magic my iPod to work without electricity? Cuz that's going to be the first goddamn spell I learn.

We know how protective Mrs. Weasley is of harry because she thinks of him as another son but is she really the type to listen to gossip from someone like Rita Skeeter? Like she sent hermione an Easter basket basically out of spite of a tiny little Easter egg because she thought that Hermione was cheating on Harry like come on now Mrs. Weasley is like the nicest person ever she wouldn't do that. That just seems super out of character

I just realized again that when Krum takes Harry aside to ask if he and Hermione are together, Harry says he feels he and the 18 year old Proffessional Quidditch player are equals.

Krum is 18 years old. Hermione is 14. Im......not ok with that. Its only a 4 year age difference and theyre not doing anything like, sexual. But even so. Im still super not alright with that when you put it like that. Him being a student doesnt change the fact that hes a whole almost grown man and shes still just a child. Yikes. And this from someone who likes Krum.

When they're going to send their letter they meet up with Fred and George who are off to Blackmail or considering blackmail and George tells Ron that he's traveling down the road to become a prefect and Ron gets so offended and says that he's not and I just think that it's so funny because he ends up becoming one and that literally is all of the boys in the family became a prefect except for the twins

When Harry falls into the pensive you hear that Snape was a Voldemort supporter but he turned spy before Voldemort's downfall at Great personal risk. Wasn't the only reason he turned spy literally because he found out that Harry Potter's family was being targeted? So Snape was willingly a Death Eater like he made the choice to become a Death Eater that's not just oh I was a bullied kid you should feel bad for me this is like you're legitimately a Death Eater. Like my bro Death Eaters kill people and they torture them and they do a lot of not nice things. You can't use being bullied as an excuse for everything so you willingly became a Death Eater that was your choice and yes Dumbledore gave you a second chance that does not negate the fact that you made that choice in the first place and that you were a terrible person. And what are you doing with your second chance? You're still being a terrible person. You're not killing people, but you're psychologically torturing teenagers so.....

They saw Draco talking into his hands out the window. And isnt it convenient they always happen to be lopking out windows at exactly the right time to catch the things they need to catch?

Fleur is in love with Bill at first sight, and even oblivious Harry picked up on that. And yet another age gap. 5 years this time. Sigh. At least this one is graduating in a month. I guess thats better. (I do like them together. I honestly think they do have a cute love. But when you notice a pattern it starts being weird. Cuz then its tonks and Remus and that age gap is waaay more. Like the gaps just grow and Im just not cool with it.)

I was gonna wait to post this til I finished rereading. But. I stopped rereading and started other things and Im not going back for a while and ky notes are taking up space on my phone. And my phone is old. So here it is.

I still love Harry Potter. But when you reread it as an adult you do start to see things you never saw before.

[dropping-out]

aah quarantine, a time for me to be bored out of my skull and have way too much time on my hands and i fall back on, you guessed, harry potter. I’m going to write a list of all the characters j* r*wl*ng was too coward (and trans/homophobic) to write

Harry Potter: Bisexual as shit. she definitely did do this, just not on purpose and she would definitely never admit to it. that boy was crushing so hard on both cedric and draco he couldn't keep his wand straight for a second

Hermione Granger: also bisexual. pansy? down. her and ginny over the summer? maaayyybee. also as genuinely interested in krum, but never anything super serious. her and Ron were truly made for each other and I stand by that.

Ron Weasley: unfortunately very straight but NOT HOMOPHOBIC SIT THE FUCK DOWN

Fred Weasley: unsure, maybe some form of queer, he didn’t really figure it out because he worked on the business and he had George :(

George Weasley: pansexual. did end up loving angelina, but he might’ve been fooling around with Lee Jordan (who said that? what???)

Ginny Weasley: BI-SEX-UAL. Her and harry were totally into each other (and if you read HBP again, there is definitely either implied sex happening or implied ~other~ stuff happening when they “go out on the grounds”) but  her and luna?? SOOO INTO EACH OTHER.

Charlie Weasley: this is the one i’m least sure about, he’s either ace and just LOVES DRAGONS or he’s like polyamorous af and like him and all of the people that work together are also all in a sexual relationship???

Draco Malfoy: so gay. so bottom. such princess. kink is harry james potter. drag? 

Pansy Parkinson: so gay. such top. absolute boss fem. her and draco are the true embodiment of m|m and w|w solidarity

Luna Lovegood: demisexual. Neville and her were cute and soft, but ginny’s fire stole her soul

Seamus Finnigan: gayyyyyy but like mickey from shameless gay--very very closeted for a long time but also very in love with dean for most if not all of them

Dean Thomas: bisexual, wasn’t pining after seamus like seamus was him because he’s dumb and jock-y so he wasn't until seamus was getting VERY upset about ginny and eventually his feelings exploded from him that dean realized he was also pretty much in love with him

Neville Longbottom: transgender, it was definitely a point of argument in the family that, idk, dropped him out a WINDOW, but his grandma is the best and said Neville u are u, and also asexual but the most romantic boi anyone has ever MET

Minerva McGonagall: gay. her backstory about the muggle lover of her life that died is FAKE it’s j*’s COVERUP of the fact that she is a lesbian ICON and her wife lived in the cottage nearby the school and Minerva tried to get there as often as she could and eventually harry started going over there for sunday tea

Remus Lupin: KING OF THE BISEXUALS. this boy with is fuckin elbow pads and books and lankiness just omfg. so, so bi. so, so in love with SIRIUS FREAKING BLACK. their love story is one of pining and confusion and eventual “jesus sirius just kiss me” in front of wayyy too many people to fully...enjoy it ;)

Sirius Black: basically as gay as draco malfoy, with wayyy less reserve. “prongs, does my scarf make me look gay? pls tell me it does, moony needs to know i’m gay” “pads, shut UP” 

Nymphadora Tonks: pansexual, nonbinary. they and ginny had wayyyy too much fun at grimmauld place, you could FEEL the sexual tension. they and remus DID sleep together so Teddy DOES  exist but they were so not in love, it was like a “what if” that turned into an “oh shit” but they were both all in for this baby

PLEASE feel free to add on :))

[echthr0s]

I’ve been reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma and it’s really bringing to mind two things that I value that other people don’t seem to grok -- my “bougie-ness” about food and the joy of ritualisation 

(long post alert, and this isn’t even all my thoughts, jsyk)

first of all, I get that me being “bougie” about food is a complicated thing because I too am a known poor (formerly a known vagabond) and have always had to eat whatever I could afford (or acquire by various means). so I guess it seems dissonant at best (insolent at worst) for me to desire food that is usually sold at prices that seem exorbitant when you’re in an income-and-a-half household. who do you think you are? eat this cheap chicken and lettuce-in-a-bag and be happy. 

but like, here’s the thing. it’s... it’s food. out of all the things we pay for, food and shelter are top priority when it comes to our continued survival. I care about where I live, and I care about what I eat, because those two elements form the foundation of how I feel about everything else in my life. I know more than anyone how shitty diet and shitty living conditions (or no living conditions at all) play havoc with mental health. demanding the best of these things for the money we’re paying isn’t arrogance, it’s the baseline level of self-interest. (it’d be arrogance if I wanted a mansion and Gordon Ramsay to cook for me, not if I want a well-maintained sunlit home with conscientious neighbours and fresh vegetables from a local farm on my plate...)

people should care about where their food comes from. there’s a Portlandia sketch that is pretty funny at first glance, where Fred and Carrie’s characters go to this restaurant and start asking a million questions about where the chicken on the menu comes from, whether it’s a local farm, whether the chicken is happy, etc, and they actually go all the way out to the farm to visit the chickens and it’s basically just making fun of the whole “organic/free-range” Whole Foods-ish trend. and I get it. here’s why I get it -- because Whole Foods and its ilk have commodified the shit out of the natural desire to want to know where your food comes from, and that commodification made it corny and -- most importantly -- insincere. that’s why that sketch is funny to me. but it’s puerile and short-sighted to make fun of people because they want to go the extra mile and see the farm where their food is being raised -- because they desire transparency from the people who are providing the substance that will sustain their bodies (or destroy their bodies).

it’s all brainwashing, really. the USDA and company have ensured that there is no transparency. if we really had to come face-to-face with the terrible practices that lead to the cheap meat on our plate, or if we really saw that our beloved breakfast cereal is literally just sugar on top of sugar with zero nutritional value, and even food we think is “healthful” is so processed and so far removed from whole, inherently nutritious food that it’s laughable, and then really came to realise exactly how capitalism and the military-industrial complex have affected every facet of our lives including our supposed “preferences” for fast food and cheap calories... it’s all an ecology. a fucked up ecology, where every insidious piece feeds into the great whole.

so, really, those raw-food vegans and other folks that we make fun of probably have more of the right of it than anybody, if they conscientiously source their food.

as far as the joy of ritualisation is concerned... it’s about seasons, man. every (whole) food has its season. certain vegetables grow during certain times of year. animals grow at their own pace (when they’re not in a feedlot anyway lmao). eating with the seasons imparts a ritualistic flavour to different foods depending on when you eat them. we replicate it with stuff like “pumpkin spice” and “Oberon beer”, where if those things were sold all year round, no one would even care about them as much as they do now. but it’s the ritual of the thing -- the knowledge that when Sbux breaks out the pumpkin spice latte, oh yeah, baby, it’s fuckin fall. when your favourite bar puts out the sign with a stylised sun on it that says “Oberon is here!” bitch it’s summer. (Oberon isn’t even good, man. but like, I get it. it’s a ritual.) look at the holidays. the best ones are based on the seasons -- winter solstice, spring equinox. those are the times when you break out the first [insert seasonal food here], and you feel connected to the great cycles of nature, to which we all belong.

if you can buy lamb and asparagus and oranges all year round, what’s even the fucking point?

anyway fuck it I’m done (until I’m not)