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liugeaux · 1 year ago

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A Definitive Ranking Of Every Incarnation Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Seven years ago I was so butt-hurt by an Uproxx article that I wrote a response with my own TMNT incarnation ranking. Was I right to do it? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Not at all. I stand by that ranking and where the TMNT property was in 2017. Read it here.

What HAS happened though is multiple versions (incarnations) of our beloved turtles have been rolled out in the past 7 years and I think it's time to re-rank them. This will be similar to the reposts common in this blog, as it will have a lot of old content, but it will be a full-on refresher with a brand-new definitive ranking. Here we go!

17. Saban’s Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation

The Next Mutation is the worst. While technically a hit TV show, TNM is a reimagining of the Turtles in a similar style to the hyper-popular Power Rangers of the time; and created by that same production house. It was too goofy, too Japanese, and pandered to a completely different audience. Any charm or goodwill the original show still had was flushed right down the drain after the launch of The Next Mutation; not to mention the introduction of the cringe-worthy Venus, the fifth Turtle. The Next Mutation is best forgotten, but sadly never will be.

16. Japanese OVA - Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend

Not included in the original list because I didn't think it was a substantial enough incarnation to include, Superman Legend is a gem if you like weird 90s anime. If you don't, skip it. When I say skip it, I mean it. It doesn't feel like a Ninja Turtles story and while styled after the Fred Wolf TV show, it drips of cheesy anime tropes and is, at times, hard to watch. I include it here as almost a warning against possibly watching it.

15. Konami’s Video Games

At the time, Konami’s video games seemed awesome. The arcade games and the classic NES games gave children exactly what they wanted, a way to control their favorite turtles and fight the foot. In actuality, the original arcade games were built as quarter-eating button mashers. There was little nuance to the games themselves and the home console releases were either bad (that first NES) or were trying to recreate a game on a platform for which it wasn't designed (TMNT II, Manhattan Project, Turtles in Time, etc.). If you wipe off the thick film of nostalgia, it's easy to see these games really aren’t that good.

14. Platinum Dunes’ Movie (Series)

The two Platinum Dunes movies have a style to them, and it's best we leave that style in the 2010s. Everything from the Incredible Hulk looking over-design of the characters, to the disasters of plots, there is very little to like about what Michael Bay’s production company did to our beloved Turtles. The films have some decent action and comedy, but a lot of the creative directions taken leave the heart of the Turtles unrecognizable. Out of the Shadows was better than the first film and did a good job capturing the feel of the original cartoon, but it still committed a lot of the same sins, despite being the "right kind of dumb".

13. Fred Wolf’s Original 1987 Animated Show

It’s funny how the most popular of all the incarnations is also one of the worst. The original cartoon is a victim of its era. The animation is bad, the plots are silly and sometimes nonsensical, and many episodes are just thinly veiled advertisements for the mega-successful accompanying toy line. Still, there’s a charm to that old show that made it popular for a reason. Presented as the figurehead of late 80s cartoons that it is, it might be a masterpiece. Presented in a vacuum, apart from the craze, that old show can be unwatchable. This incarnation is another victim of nostalgia and is probably best experienced through t-shirts and merchandise, not through actual experience.

12. Image’s Vol. 3 Comics

Die-hard Turtles fans love to point at Image’s short-lived run of comics after Mirage’s first hiatus as being “Amazing”. “Volume 3″ to which it is referred, was planned as a continuation of Mirage’s colorized Vol. 2. Sadly, it followed many of the tropes of late 90s comic books. It was more violent than its predecessors and even went as far as having two of the TMNT get deformed. Donny becomes a cyborg and Raph’s face gets disfigured. At the time it was a fresh take on the characters and seen as bold and unpredictable. Because of this, it should hold a legit chunk of respect, but in practicality, it wasn’t great.

11. Batman Vs. TMNT Crossover Comics and Movie

This is, by far, the hardest incarnation to rank. It's not bad, and in most ways it's great. However, taking a generic version of the TMNT and planting them in a story beside The Dark Knight creates an un-winnable situation. Character development must be spread across two universes and cannot be too in-depth, because you can't stray too far from the core essence of either property. Fans love this version of the Turtles and I don't blame them. It boils the 4 brothers down to their core traits and, through solid writing, creates an entertaining romp that plays into both properties' tropes. Where the Batman/TMNT crossover succeeds in entertainment value, it completely fails in compelling story-telling.

10. Archie’s TMNT: Adventures Comics

More comics from the 90s! Archie’s TMNT Adventures was less an Archie production and more a shadow Mirage title that was created mostly in-house under the eyes of Eastman and Laird. Its origin as a spin-off of the TV show made for a unique niche. Many of the stories and characters resonate to this day and If I were listing my favorite TMNT comic artists, Chris Allen would be in my top three. One of the title’s strengths was the secondary characters. Verminator-X, Armaggon, Ninjara, the Mighty Mutanimals, and Cuddly the Cowlick, are all great additions to the greater mythology of the series and many of them have returned in other media. As much fun as these were to read 30 years ago, a distinct lack of character development in the TMNT, and a heavy handed environmental agenda being pushed make these hard to read today. Those Future Turtles are the bomb though…

9. TMNT: Mutant Mayhem

I have thought long and hard about where Seth Rogan's take on the TMNT belongs in the pantheon of turtle stories. From an entertainment standpoint, it's fantastic. The film is incredibly funny and breathes fresh energy into tried and true character archetypes. Does it represent the legacy of TMNT as a franchise? I don't know. We've been promised a lot more of this incarnation, so our questions will likely get answered as series staples like Shredder and The Foot get introduced, but as it stands, Mutant Meyham is a fantastic anomaly ripe for exploration.

8. New Line’s Original Movie Trilogy

America’s love for the original movie trilogy is justified. They captured a moment in American Pop Culture that was unique and somewhat bizarre. On the surface, a lot of the dialog can be cheesy and eye-roll-inducing, but that’s what the 90′s were. Looking back at them, the only one that holds up as a GREAT movie is the first one. The effort put into bringing the comics to life, while dabbling in the silliness of the cartoon, is visible. There’s more emotion in that first movie than most would care to admit. I’m not going to call it a masterpiece or anything, Actually, I am gonna call TMNT 1990 a masterpiece. The second two movies are what keep this incarnation from being higher on the list. The Secret of the Ooze is embarrassing and TMNT III is boring at best. The care that went into the first film just wasn’t there the second and third times around.

7. “TMNT” Animated Movie

The Turtle’s franchise timeline can be divided into 3 phases; Phase 1: Eastman and Laird, Phase 2: Laird only, and Phase 3: Nickelodeon. The “TMNT” animated movie was released during Phase 2, and because of that, it has Peter Laird’s influence all over it. During his solo time with the Turtles, Laird had very specific ideas about what he wanted to do with the characters and what stories he wanted to be told. Not goofy, not over-the-top, not too dark, and maintaining the series’ comedic overtones, TMNT is a weird movie that feels like a release that fell out of another dimension. Despite its plot being the most non-TMNT-ish story ever told, there is still a handful of scenes that are quite wonderful. The epic fight scene between Leo and Raph at the close of Act 2 is worth the price of admission. TMNT is a beautiful film that has a charm unique unto itself and it’s really a shame a sequel was never made.

6. Rise of the TMNT

I'm sure putting Rise in the #6 spot can be seen as a bold move, but I stand behind it completely. Rise is possibly the most controversial version of the Turtles to date. Odd, and unnecessary changes to the lore and characters turned a lot of fans off of the project before it even launched. Taking a more comedic and short-attention-spaned approach to TMNT storytelling alienated many viewers, which means Rise lives on its own little island. Fans of Rise, LOVE IT, with good reason. It's hilarious, irreverent, sharp and stunning. By taking enough influence from anime to make the show look great, but not enough to make the show look ridiculous, Rise succeeds at looking better than ALL of its predecessors. Narratively, it takes some time to get to the significant story beats, but considering most TMNT stories aren't interested in telling a long-form story, Rise's approach to slow-drip-plot, is masterful. The Rise movie is a fantastic exclamation point on a series the creators knew was already dead. I almost understand why someone wouldn't like Rise of the TMNT, but it's hard for me to think someone gave it a fair shake and still didn't see the brilliance of its bizarre take on the TMNT.

5. Nickelodeon’s 2012 Animated Show

After the Viacom acquisition, the impending TMNT cartoon show was an uncomfortable unknown. How closely would it stick to the lore? Would it go off the rails and break the series? Would it be too kiddy for a classic fan to enjoy? All worries were washed away when the show debuted in the Fall of 2012. Featuring the most fully realized version of the 4 turtles to date, Nick’s show was a breath of fresh air. There’s a spark to its dialog and it’s obvious the creators were proud to be working on TMNT. It's hard not to chuckle at least once or twice during every episode and unlike most kid shows, it's easy to care about the over-arching story. The changes made to the base origin and characters can be confusing, but each one has been interesting in its own way. As my good buddy Jeff often says about, it's a beautiful melting pot of everything TMNT. If you haven’t checked it out yet, Nick’s TMNT reboot is more than worth a watch.

4. IDW’s TMNT Comics

The first real content to come from the post-Nickelodeon buyout was the IDW-licensed comic line. Not only did they immediately start frantically reprinting the old Mirage books, but they also launched a new ongoing title set in its own TMNT continuity. Without a doubt, this run has been the most exciting thing to happen to TMNT comics since…let’s say Mirage’s Vol.1. By taking a brand new origin and mixing old characters with new characters, Eastman and Waltz have found a way to re-tell a lot of TMNT history without telling any of the exact same stories we already know. My only real complaint about the book is that its a little too obvious that Nickelodeon has placed certain story restrictions on them. I.E. The Turtles don’t ever kill anyone, and death as a whole is kept to a minimum. Consequently, the book sometimes lacks the teeth of the original Mirage book.

3. The Last Ronin

After 9 years of a fantastic ongoing TMNT comic, IDW decided to stretch its legs and pull an idea out of the Eastman and Laird idea archive. The Last Ronin, is a stand-alone TMNT tale originally outlined by both co-creators Eastman and Laird. It's dark, violent, somber and bold. TLR is easily the best TMNT comic to hit the market since 1992's City at War, and it deserves the same reverence. Truth be told, outside of the original conception of the series, Peter Laird had little to do with its story. The volume was such a success, a teaser was written into the last book that introduced a new generation of Turtles into the fold. This birthed the Ronin-verse. As silly as that may sound, the transition to a new quartet of Turtles has been healthy and fun. The Last Ronin 2 starts later this year and I have no worries that the new TMNT will be built with respect to the originals. That's a feat in and of itself.

2. 4Kids’ 2003 Animated Show

The 4Kids Animated show was produced during the Peter Laird years and with a few exceptions it’s a love letter to fans of the Mirage comics. Unlike the original show, which took the loose concept of Ninja Turtles and built its own little silly world, the 4Kids show took many of its stories directly from the comics and carried a tone closer to that comic's run. Sure some things had to be changed because it was still a kid’s show, but the entire run feels like it's what Laird wanted to do the first time around, but not having complete control got in the way. The best part is that it has aged remarkably well. Despite all episodes being 4:3 SD, the characters and stories still pop to this day. Which, in the end, is just a reflection of how good the source material is.

1. Mirage’s Original Comic Series

Of course, #1 had to go to the Mirage run. Sure, a lot of things can be said about how disjointed the entire experience is, and how bad some of the guest contributors were during the height of the TMNT fad in the early 90′s, but at its core, the Mirage run represented so many different things. It was the start of what would become one of the most successful creator-owned franchises in American history. Mirage was built from nothing (hence the name), and ended up taking over the world on the strength of the characters they created. Vol. 1 of the comics was an instrumental piece of content in the indy comic boom of the 80s and was a flagship, “creators have rights” book. The canonical stories from Vols 1, 2 and 4 are the turtles at their most honest and raw. Eastman and more-so Laird weren’t afraid of taking chances and even the stories that didn’t pan-out HAD to be respected. So, what incarnation is the absolute best? It's the Mirage comics, without a doubt, by a wide margin. Say all the good things you can imagine about the other incarnations on this list, but none of them are "Capital I" Important. Sure, they were great, charming and even dabbled in amazing, but Mirage rewrote the rulebook, and that’s something that will never be usurped.

Cheers!

Addendum: The following incarnations were omitted because they didn’t make a significant contribution to the greater TMNT story.

All TMNT Manga, The TMNT Comic Strip, The Action Figures (they aren’t being included because they are just an extension of the shows and movies, but they kinda had a life of their own), Coming Out of Our Shells Live Tour, Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, The 4kids Based Dreamwave Comics, Later TMNT Video Games (Konami, Ubisoft, and Activision Published), The many other crossover comic book series out there.

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