#freakin moron

[kitkat-the-muffin]

Something that’s kind of neat is how in Room of Swords the hair-length of the leading males definitely means something but I still don’t know what it is

I think it represents knowledge though, or maybe wisdom? Like, Gyrus had long hair when he met Kodya, who had short hair, and back then Gyrus knew a looooooot about how the RoS worked

Then of course after everything went wrong, Kodya’s grown out his hair and he finds a young-Gyrus with short hair and lots of questions. This Gyrus has no idea where he is or what’s going on and so Kodya has to mentor him

Then during season 2 Kodya sort of shaves Gyrus’s hair as a way to measure his mental state???? I haven’t reread the story in a few years so I forget but I think he uses it as a way to know how far along Gyrus is in recovering his lost memories based on his hair length

And at the end of the season it’s touching the floor lmbo and they have to cut it again… I think. Actually maybe it gets cut off on its own? I… I haven’t read in a while… something Masiosaire related right?

Uh anyway his hair is short for most of season 3 and then long again in the finale so I guess I wanna say there’s obviously a thing going on but what is the thing ya know?

[maryyyy-mary]

YYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYYAYETGSGHDGSHBDGDHHEGHDHDGEHBEHX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHMYGODDDDGGDFFFDDDDCD

Yo guys, who wanna hear about my Postal 1 AU created to torture Moron my postal oc?

I'm gonna post animation and shit about it anyways so you ain't saving yourself, but in case you want to know more you can tell me

[ryusuisloveinterest]

Hii, it's 🚙anon. Thanks for the last headcanon!

And so with the new idea (will write more later)

The Five Wise Generals and their s/o who has bad hearing/is deaf. How would the guys treat them, interact, learn to communicate and what will be the reason they fall in love w/them? (Ukyo will be interesting)

Welcome back 🚙 anon!! I had such a fun time writing this so I hope you like it! Let me know if you’d like anything else!

5 wise generals with a deaf S/o💖🌷

Senku:

I feel like he would know basic sign language

Like hello, yes, no, etc.

He’s definitely down to learn

Will probably pick up everything in like one or two days

He’d also make you hearing aids if you want them (or whatever implant thing people get I don’t remember what it is)

If you start crying when you hear for the first time, he’ll smirk and place a hand on your back

“Heh, what wrong? Already tired of hearing all the noise?”

I don’t think he’d just sit down and teach you how pronounce things

He’d just throw you in random situations and sign to you on the side what people are saying 

If you don’t want hearing aids then he doesn’t mind occasionally being your interpreter, but there are some times he is too busy to help out

Wouldn’t treat you like your fragile, expects the same thing from you as he expects of everything else

He doesn’t really react when you first say I love you

Just smiles and nods

“Yknow I love you too”

Chrome:

“Soooo you don’t have the fuzzy eye sickness but you have the stuffy eye sickness????”

He’s really trying his best

Definitely wants to learn sign language, it just might take him longer to learn than senku

It still might not click to him fully that you’re deaf cause he still kinda shouts to get your attention

“y/n…. Y/n…Y/N…!!!”

Everyone just looks at him like wtf is your deal bro then it clicks to him again lol

He’d have no problem being your translator, but like I said before he’d have a harder time learning than senku, so he might be a bit frustrated with HIMSELF (he’d never be frustrated with you!) that he can’t help you more

If you want hearing aids/surgery then he’ll do everything in his power to get it for you 

Has no idea what to do if you start tearing up from hearing 

“Wha- I don’t- is something wrong??? Is it too loud????” He asks in the loudest voice possible

Definitely teaches you words and phrases one by one, contrasting from senku

Will definitely start off with phrases like, “chrome is my boyfriend” or “chrome is so cute”

When he hears you say you love him he immediately gets overwhelmed with love and emotion and starts to cry

“S-sorry… I don’t know whats gotten over me… I love you too my gem…!”

Stop bro chrome is so freakin cute!!!

Gen:

This MORON

Does not give a flip that your deaf, but he uses you so much to get out of working

“Sorry dear Senku-Chan~ but my sweet y/n needs help communicating with Francois so I’ll be on my way then” he says knowing damn well that Francois knows way more sign language than Gen could ever dream of of course Senku knows this and still makes him work

He loooooovees whispering somewhat dirty things in your ear because he knows you can’t hear it, but he always does it when he’s behind you cause he doesn’t want you reading his lips

“My sweet y/n If you only knew what you did to me. All I wanna do is kiss every inch of your beautiful body until I’ve covered every last in of you”

And then he just walks off like nothing ever happened 💀

Like Senku he probably already knows basic sign language and of course is willing to learn more, but just cannot grasp anything being taught to him

If you’re really good at reading lips he’ll just stick to that 

If not then he’ll keep learning but mainly write you notes

If you get hearing aids/surgery then he’ll quickly begin teaching you how to speak 

You remember how I said he just randomly comes up from behind you and whispers perverted things in your ear?

There was a time he forgot you had hearing aids and said all those things😗

The only reason he remembered was because of the deep shade of red that spread all over your face

When you are able to say I love you, his face is just shocked

But it soon fades into a sincere smile

“I love you too my heart”

Ukyo:

Ukyo would love you no matter what

Has no problem using sign language or writing things down on a piece of paper

If he learns sign language then he’d learn it faster than chrome but not as fast as senku

I still think Ukyo would want you to speak though 

I’m not saying the other generals wouldn’t want to hear your voice, but Ukyo NEEDS to hear it 

Doesn’t matter what you think your voice would sound like, Ukyo thinks it’s beautiful because it’s part of you

If you’re self conscious about it then he’ll definitely reassure you with rubbing your hands or soft forehead and cheek kisses

Every time you speak he signs “beautiful” or “lovely” for extra encouragement 

Loves being your translator

He likes how he’s basically become your voice for everyone to hear

If you chose to get hearing aids/surgery then he’s immediately teaching you basic phrases to get around

As much as he would love to hear you say “I love you” or “I’m happy with you” he knows he needs to teach you phrases that’ll actually help you

But one day as both are heading to bed he hears what he’s always wanted to hear

“U-uku-Ukyo… i lo-love you….”

He just freezes, his eyes are already overflowing when he turns to look at you 

“Can you please say that again…?” 

He makes you repeat it over and over as he holds you and cries

He’s so happy, he never thought he’d hear those words come out of your mouth yet here we are 

“Thank you y/n… I love you so much… more than you’ll ever know…”

Ryusui:

Ryusui might be a little overdramatic on how he cares for you 💀

Will NOT let you out of his sight

Worried about you getting in trouble or getting hurt because you couldn’t hear something coming this is also just an excuse to be around you too lol

Im not saying the other guys wouldn’t be concerned, Ryusui just takes it to the EXTREME 

already learned sign language when he first found out you were deaf

He was all like, “I desire to speak with you, which way is easiest for you???” And then learned sign language lol

Besides being overprotective he’s still normal, obnoxious Ryusui 

Always down to be your translator, whatever you need he’s there

Ryusui doesn’t care if you get hearing aids/surgery or not, he just wants what you want

If you don’t want any then that’s that, he’s not gonna make you do anything you don’t want to

If you do then you get it within seconds

So very patient and supportive when teaching you to speak

“Amazing job love! That’s one more word than yesterday!”

Whenever you first say I love you to him he’s the happiest he’s ever been in his life

He just picks you up and spins you around laughing and kissing all over your face

“HAHAH! I love you more my beautiful y/n! I love you love you love you!”

[shoyododo]

somethin' stupid

(like, "i love you")

h. iwaizumi x reader: part 1, part 2, part 3 (coming soon!) summary: it’s mid-november during your second year of university when your best friend, iwaizumi, calls you an idiot. and accidentally tells you he loves you. (angst, unrequited(?) love, bffs)

you’re not the type to brag, but you could say you’re more than proud of the fact that you and iwaizumi have been best friends since high school. you two are attached by the hip, so close in fact that other people find it strange.

“so you guys… aren’t dating?”, you get asked often by acquaintances, friends, and even your parents. you don’t blame them, it’s not as common for a guy and girl to be so close yet being purely platonic, but it’s true. ever since you two were assigned as deskmates in the first year of highschool, you became best friends. even after graduation, when you two found out you both got into the same university in California. there was just no separating you.

despite being busy with classes, you and iwaizumi still make time to hang out quite often. You study together, go out to eat together, and go to parties. though, the last one is a rare occurrence. you usually have to beg him to come with you, and he only gives in because he refuses to let you get blackout drunk without supervision.

it’s after one of these parties when he walks you back to your dorm. It’s late at night and despite the fact that it’s SoCal, the mid-November weather is making you shiver. iwaizumi drapes his jacket over your shoulders without a word and you thank him. he’s making sure you’re safe and not stumbling into someone else’s dorm on accident, which unfortunately has happened before.

“alright, spill. how many shots did you take?” he eyes you suspiciously.

“hmm, not telling you”

“okay, whatever. at least we left before you could try to down any more”.

you’re silent, remembering the last moments of the party before you told iwaizumi you wanted to leave. as always, he notices, you think nothing ever gets past him.

“hey, what’s wrong?… you’re still not thinking about that guy are you?” he sighs. “look, he’s a huge moron. you’re better off without that dickhead”.

you let out a small giggle at his words and mutter a “thanks”. you know he’s right, that guy was an asshole. it’s not like you miss him or anything. hell, he could drop dead for all you care. you were just upset that he seemed to really like you, and yet he broke up with you out of nowhere without telling you why. so when you saw him shamelessly flirting with another girl at that party, you couldn’t help but be a little angry.

iwaizumi changes the topic to distract you from your ex and he begins to tell you anecdotes about oikawa in argentina. luckily, it lifts up your mood pretty quick.

“no freakin’ way. did he really do that? how on earth did he manage to mix up ‘pesos’ and ‘penis’?”, you’re almost hunched over from how hard you’re laughing.

“pftt. no idea, but it ended up on the local news”

“oh my god”

“i’m telling you, no matter how big of a hotshot he is, he’s still an idiot”

“well, you're the one that's friends with him, so what does that make you?”

“idiot’s genius best friend, duh. i can’t believe the universe stuck me with two idiot best friends”,

you fake offense at that. it’s a common routine for the two of you to banter back and forth. all in good fun, of course.

“excuse me? you’re an idiot too! how do you think we became friends?!”,

he laughs at your outburst.

“yeah, sure. but you’re an even bigger idiot, but it’s okay ‘cause i’m in love with you”.

you pause in your steps. you suddenly feel very sober. he takes a bit longer to realize, you know the moment he does when he freezes in place.

he refuses to look back. the words had come out so naturally, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, that he didn’t even realize at first. it’s why you’re staring at him, wide-eyed and frozen in shock. it’s not just the fact that he said it, it’s the way he said it so genuinely, like he means it.

“what?”, it comes out small, almost inaudible, like you didn’t want to even acknowledge what he said in the first place.

iwaizumi wishes nothing more than to drop dead right now. he didn't mean to say it, it just slipped out. this is one of the few moments in his life that he thinks, oikawa might've been right, bottling things up is a terrible idea. each time he said that, iwaizumi would always call him a hypocrite. he has never hated being wrong like he does right now. what can he even say? it’s been silent enough that you both know it wasn’t a joke or a meaningless accident.

“i… i meant to say ‘i love you’, as in ‘i love you as a friend’. platonically. not in that way. like ‘oh, you’re an idiot but i love ya’. as a friend... sorry, that was stupid.”

he’s glad you can’t see his face right now, he’s sure he looks like the biggest idiot right now. it feels like an agonizing eternity before you finally respond.

and to his surprise, you laugh it off. a part of him is relieved you’re not taking this too seriously, the other part is in shock at how you’re laughing while he’s a hair away from a full blown panic attack.

“hey, it’s fine. slip of the tongue or whatever it’s called. c’mon, i wanna get home already!”.

as much as he wants to act normal after, he knows you. he knows you’re just trying to lighten the mood. you know him too, you know when he’s being playful and when he’s nervous. right now, you think he’s more nervous than you have ever seen him.

neither of you acknowledge the awkward silence for the rest of the night, or the way you mutter a quick, “goodnight!”, before rushing into your apartment.

as soon as he gets home, iwaizumi drops down on his bed and holds his head in his hands.

Oh my god.

+++

you don’t speak to him for the next couple days. as much as you want to pretend everything is normal, like your closest friend since high school hadn’t just accidentally confessed his love for you. as much as you want to believe it was just a mistake, you know better.

iwaizumi hasn’t heard from you in four whole days. he refuses to be the one to reach out, he knows you need space even though it’s killing him not being able to talk to you.

“well, you’re lucky you still have me, iwa-chaaan!”

it's been less than 5 minutes and he already regrets calling oikawa.

“can you take this seriously? i’m kind of going through something right now”

“okay, okay. no need to get your panties all in a bunch”

“oikawa, i swear to go-”

“LOOK, it’s going to be alright. no matter what, you guys are still friends. she’s not going to ignore you forever so just… tell her the truth so you can get past this. who knows, maybe she’s just shocked? for all you know, she could feel the same way!”, iwaizumi doubts that, but his worries are somewhat tamed.

“yeah... yeah, you’re right. i should just talk to her, right?”

“right! see? you don’t have to worry so much. oh, by the way i’m definitely going to mention this in my best man speech for your weddi-"

“i’m hanging up now”.

+++

it’s day five without any contact with iwaizumi. you’ve calmed down about the whole thing, but you’re just not sure how to talk to him right now. you can’t just say, “hey, i know you said you love me, but can we just pretend nothing happened, haha?”. that would just be cruel and he deserves a better response than that.

you’re pacing around your apartment when a knock on your door takes you out of your stupor. you’re mentally preparing yourself before you open the door because you already know who it is.

“hey”, you greet him as nonchalantly as you can.

“hey. um, i think we should talk. can i come in?”

you open the door wider and motion for him to come in. not trusting yourself to not say something stupid, you let him take the lead.

he takes a seat on your couch and you follow suit. he doesn’t bring up the way you sit farther than usual.

“i’m sorry”, for the first time in five days, you look him in the eyes. you regret it instantly, he looks hurt. he’s hurt and it’s because of you. you were the one avoiding him over something he can’t control, and he’s apologizing to you. you want to say something, refuse his apology, tell him you’re sorry, but you can’t bring yourself to. you decide to just listen instead.

he looks away and takes a deep breath, attention going to his hands that are fiddling in his lap. he clears his throat before he begins,

“i don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything. but, i owe you the truth. i’m in love with you. i’ve been in love with you for a long time"

you try to hold back your expression and nod for him to continue.

"you’re the best person i know. you’re smart, you’re funny, and you never get sick of me no matter how much i bully you. you don’t have to say anything, i don’t expect you to feel the same. you’re my best friend and i care about you more than anything, but i don’t want anything to change between us. but, more than anything, i just don’t want to lose you”

you feel your heart sink. you feel so guilty because of course he’s being the mature one, as always. he’s pouring his heart out to you and you know that you have to be honest.

“i’m sorry, hajime”, you almost want to cry. you want nothing more than to erase the hurt off his face, knowing it’s because of you.

“it’s okay, it’s not your fault”

“It’s not yours either. i… don’t want things to change between us too, you’re still my best friend”, you’re fiddling with your hands too.

he finally looks at you and gives you a small smile,

“then, let’s just pretend this never happened. okay? trust me, i'll be fine. we’re gonna be alright”. you want to cry again at his selflessness. when you look at his reassuring smile, you think everything’s going to be okay. you two will be okay.

“i think… i think you deserve better than me, hajime”, you sigh.

he's silent for a moment before he tells you, in the softest voice,

“didn’t i tell you? you’re the best person i know”.

loosely inspired by jim and pam's slow burn...

sorry iwaizumi ily ur just so slowburn besties to lovers ughh

also, i once said "penis" instead of "pennies" during class and it was indeed mortifying.

part 2 coming soon!

[spinderella-umbrella]

@jegulus-microfic | 27-03; Birthday | 373 words

“Happy birthday Reg,”

James has followed him through the library, coming up behind him and whispering in his ear. He wasn’t sneaky, and Regulus shuddered uncomfortably at the breath on his neck.

Regulus slams the tome he was flicking through closed and replaces it into the shelf, unimpressed at both the nickname and the public familiarity. He whirls around to see James with a stupid smile on his face and his hand behind his back.

“What do you want?” Regulus snaps, raising his chin so he could peer down his nose at James.

He didn’t need to look around to see if anyone could see them. He’s led James here intentionally— but even if someone happens upon them, it will look like what it is. An altercation. Because if James has the gall to have a gift behind his back, Regulus is going to kill him.

“I got you something.” James says the dreaded words.

He feels the fire of frustration burning behind his eyes, and he’s sure if anyone other than James freakin Potter was in front of him, they’d cower.

James just pulls his hand from behind his back and holds up a leather bound journal.

“I noticed you were near the end of yours, so it’s practical, and, you would have had to get a new one anyway, and well, I liked picking it out for you.” He rambles, and Regulus surprises himself by reaching out and taking it, turning it over in his hands.

It’s nice. Really nice. The binding looks hand done, the leather work is precise and shows skill. He unwinds the tie, opening the book to feel the pages— textured hand made paper cut so precisely that there was a clean edge on the pages, just like Regulus liked.

He… loves it. Dammit.

Regulus glances up at James, who is turning red from holding his breath. Why does he even like this moron?

“Breathe, idiot.” Regulus says, rolling his eyes.

James lets out a breath and grins, and okay. That smile might have a little bit to do with it.

“Thank you.” He says quietly, genuinely, before nodding goodbye and walking away. He’ll thank him properly the next time he gets him in a broom closet.

[katyawriteswhump]

only a matter of time (steddie holiday drabble, steddie microfic, whumpcember)

For @steddieholidaydrabbles day 17, ‘lights’ @steddiemicrofic December prompt, ‘time,’ and @whumpcember day 17 prompt, ‘greatest fear.’

WC: 485, Rating: M pushing E; CW: character undeadness (vampires), Steve has self worth issues; tags: established steddie, vampire Eddie, new vampire Steve, angst, sex, dark undertones, hopeful-ish ending. Summary: Eddie needs to drink from Steve to survive without killing others. But he always has to stop in time, which Steve's enthusiasm makes tricky… Thank you to @mugloversonly for inspirational chats, though I'm not quite there yet...

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

Before Eddie ‘turned’ him, darkness was Steve’s living hell. He sweated, sleepless, watching the clock every night.

Eddie was out there, hunting and being hunted. Once Hawkins learned the ‘freak’ had joined the undead hordes, he topped every hit-list.

Hilarious, really.

Eddie wasn’t a natural-born killer, though vampires must drink from the vein. That first morning he��d returned—fangs dripping blood, skin snow-white, eyes horror-stricken—Steve offered himself instantly. Afterward, Eddie needed to hunt slightly less. Steve, meanwhile, trusted Eddie to stop in time, not drink him dry.

That night, Eddie fucked Steve.

It was so freakin’ hot—Eddie moving inside him, hard as steel, skin frosty, the lube like slippery ice. When Eddie’s fangs pierced his throat, he bit the damp pillow, petted Eddie’s hair, then giggled, kinda hysterical. Like this, he always felt… Jesus, he felt loved. Crazy! Meanwhile, Eddie screwed him to hell… heaven… who cared? Eddie’s soft lips, his pumping, pulsating everything devoured Steve, whose heart slowed, head woolly, muscles tightening, a sicky, swooping feeling in his guts.

Then Eddie… withdrew.

Like, had he even come yet?  Steve had the fucking jitters when he hadn’t the energy to jitter, so he giggled again. Act like you don’t care, Harrington… Floating in the dark, he mumbled, “Chug, chug, chug." He's High School keg-king again, surfing that adrenaline rush, belly-flopping hard. But that moron was dead. Eddie needed him. Back then, nobody really needed him.

“Drink, Babe,” he murmured, flailing blindly for Eddie, finding him with an accidental back-hand blow and dragging his face to his throat with all he’d gotten left. “Chug… chug… ch…”

Eddie kissed him, weeping, as Steve’s lips turned to ice.

Turned out, Steve sucked at being a vampire and could only drink from Eddie. Humiliating. Now, Eddie hunted for two. Steve smelled the corpses, piling up near their cabin in the woods.

Eddie’s hilariously tragic eyes grew more haunted every day. Each night, Steve begged Eddie to fuck him, doggy-style, waking up his cold body. Then Steve would straddle Eddie’s lap and ride him, fists clenching and tearing at Eddie’s raven-black hair. He drained Eddie’s veins, because it was all he could digest. Chug, chug, chug! He gorged himself stupid then mauled Eddie’s mouth with bloody kisses.

Steve now feared everything that took Eddie from him. Even Christmas lights. Dumb, huh? But while town's so bright at night, why'd Eddie come home to waste-of-space Steve? Steve loved him, though. With all his cold, dead heart.

“I’ll never ditch you!” Eddie yelled one night, when Steve shouted at him to run, alone, before vampire-hunters found them. “Listen, I heard they’re working on a cure. It’s only a matter of time.”

“Eddie! I won’t let you d—”

Eddie kissed him tenderly, cupping his face. “We’ll find somewhere better to hide the bodies. You are my light, Steve. You die, I die… again.”

Steve smirked. Okay, death was worth living.  "Love you too, idiot."

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

zero pressure tag: @wheneverfeasible 💚 My stranger things fic on AO3

[avonne-writes]

thinking about how buck wouldn’t share a bed with anyone because he wouldn’t feel comfortable being in that close proximity to anyone even if all the other guys are doing it. until bucky shows up and now he can finally be warm and have a comfortable sleep.

It takes Bucky about a week in the camp to recover enough of his personality to socialize. He was a shell of himself for what feels like forever, but getting Gale back was like getting a second chance at life. He can feel himself healing with every hug, every touch of Gale's hand, every warm look. By the end of the week, he’s well enough to open up to some of the younger guys who don’t know him but who, for one reason or another, joined his ragtag team of friends.

They're watching a soccer game outside, soaking in the sunshine. Gale refused to come and decided to stay behind reading instead, but already after one week, Bucky wonders how long his dislike of sports will win over the boredom of camp life. Watching these games are one of the few things that bring a smile to Bucky's face here.

"God, I wish I could bottle this up." One of the boys, Alan or something, sighs as he tilts his head back in the sun.

"It gets so freakin' cold at night that if I don’t share my bunk with this moron -" He shoves his friend, some short, tan guy called Billy, who pushes him back with a smile. "- then I can’t sleep from my teeth chattering. And it's not even winter yet."

"I don't know how Cleven does it."

Bucky's interest perks up. "Does what?"

"Sleeping alone." Alan explains.

Billy shakes his head. "That man's made of stone or something."

"Buck doesn’t sleep alone." Bucky says.

He’d know, given that he spent every single night since he arrived pressed to him head to toe. The first few times, when Bucky was really bad off and wasn't sure if he'd recover, Gale would spoon him from behind, his hand splayed over Bucky's heart. Nowadays, he's back to being the little spoon, which Bucky likes even more, because it lets him feel like he can put himself between Gale and the rest of the world.

"He did when we got here. Before we were sorted apart." Alan makes a contemplative face. "Wasn't real keen on getting close and personal with us."

"He just didn't like your ugly mug." Billy teases and gets another friendly shove for it.

"I wonder who shares with him."

Bucky raises his eyebrows at the boys, the corners of his lips twitching to smirk. "Me."

He doesn’t know what's more amusing, the look of utter admiration on the two boys' faces or the way Gale reacts half an hour later, when Bucky interrupts his reading to tell him what interesting rumours he heard.

[partikron]

The Iguazu Principle

I've said before that G5 Iguazu is a convincing character because we all know someone just like him (petty, insecure, jealous), and we all pretty universally hate people with that combustible mix of traits, but I think he's also a good character because all of us are like that sometimes. We all know someone or a series of someones that just seem to do it all right. If we work out, they do it harder, lift heavier, run faster. If we do some kind of art, there's some jackass who puts together masterpieces with zero effort. If we're trying to lose weight for summer, there's one dude who's rockin' 8% body fat year-round and eats pizza twice a day or some shit. And we all HATE that person, even if we don't want to admit it.

For Iguazu, we're that asshole who is just always KILLIN' IT out there while he just kinda...exists.

I begrudgingly love Iguazu because he's one of those characters that I can appreciate from both sides. I freakin' hate that dude for being a toxic lout, but I remember being a jealous moron plenty of times in my life, so I kinda get it, y'know?

This is another one of the ways AC6 just lives in my head forever now. I call it "The Iguazu Principle": if what I'm saying or thinking sounds like something Iguazu would say, I'm being an asshole.

[mastershaker69]

These "mooninites" are freakin' stupid, huh? Freakin' morons freezin' me and stealin' my material! I'll kick 'em in their sorry digital buttcracks!

Oooo carl dont say that, they're on this site...

Don't care, meatman.

[vrisrezis]

Rocket raccoon hcs . Just kinda . Interactions and stuff I guess I’m not sure? I just would like to see how rocket interacts with his partner LOL

OK I TRIED IM NOT GOOD WITH DIALOGUE BUT I LOVE SEEING LIKE .. IN CHARACTER DIALOGUE IN FICS SO !! Also . These r just little interactions between the two in random scenarios lol

- You groan as you look inside your bag, “rocket what the hell?!” “What?! What’d I do?” “You know what you did why the hell is there a prosthetic eye in my bag?!” And then all of a sudden, rocket no longer seems pissed your once again accusing him of something he didn’t do, he starts howling with laughter. “Oh my fucking god is that why those crazy assholes were shooting at us?!” “Yes- ah-HAHAHA” he laughs even louder, doubling over and holding his stomach. “It was funny, right?!” “God I’m going to actually kill you.”

- “you cannot seriously be on Gamora side! Cmon!” “Don’t Cmon me rocket. You and quill could’ve gotten us killed because your egos are so fucking huge.” You sigh, “and!! You stole some fucking battery’s we don’t even need!” your ears flop down in a manner that seems more sad, rather than angry. “Why don’t you ever think of anyone but yourself?”

- “what is that?” “A bomb.” “Oh. Okay.” you shrug, walking off as quill raises a brow at you. “What?” “You’re just gonna say ‘oh okay’ to a freakin bomb!” “Not a big deal quill” rocket says, tinkering with something else entirely. “It is!!!”

- “merryyyy christmasss my beloveddd!” You sang in a singsong voice, that maybe was a little too cheerful for your boyfriends liking. He rolls his eyes, “thanks hun,” he says with a smile, and although it sounds sarcastic you know it’s genuine. “But never do that shit again.” he says with now with a frown on his features.

- “so your dating this little rabbit?” the Norse god questions you, and you shrug. “I guess so” “you guess so?! The hell!” “Well, you still haven’t kissed me yet!” Rocket looks at you completely exasperated.

- “why don’t we ask the captain… oh wait! It’s me!” “Psh! Hahahaha!” “Babe Cmon don’t laugh! Do not laugh!”

- “wow. I’ve known you for like.. 10 years and you still can’t dance.” You said with a cocky grin, something the male was not used to seeing on your face. “Oh Cmon, give me a break.” “No way dude, I gave you 10 whole years to get your shit together.”

- “it’s not like I like you!” “Uh huh, sure rocket!” “I do not! I did not save you because I like you, I saved you because your useful and quill would be mad at me. I don’t feel like dealing with his shit today!” “Keep telling yourself that.”

- rocket was just starting up the ship. Ready to take off. He told you, if you ever needed him, he’s one call away. But for emergencies only. He won’t be gone long. Two days, tops. Super important mission he needed to go on. You call him, and he looks down wondering what the hell you could possibly need before he’s even taken off yet. “Hey.. something wrong?” “Yes.” You say as a matter a factly. “I miss you.” “Oh for the love of-”

- rocket laughs right in your face. “Holy shit! You’re jealous” your eyes widen and you puff your cheeks in embarrassment. “That’s so funny! Hahaha!” “Ugh!! I’m not jealous why the hell would I be jealous of some broad anyway!” “Doesn’t explain why you started growling! Hahaha!” “I’ll kill you!”

- “I love you” you say with a happy sigh as you give him a quick peck on the lips. He smirks, “I know.”

- “I love you!!!!” rocket screams in your face, and you’ve honestly never had him scream in your face before. “Rocket- I know but wh- mmf!” He cute you off with a kiss to the face. He was very emotional that day. For whatever reason…

- “what is this?!” “A hug, moron. Don’t tell anyone or I’ll seriously kill you.” Rocket threatens, “Got it… but uh… can you do it again?”

- “you’re so goddamn lucky I don’t bite your hand off.” Rocket says as you pet behind his ears, you smile at him dreamily, “yeah, I know.”

- “don’t you dare go in there! You’ll die idiot!” Rocket yells at you, and in all the time you’ve known him you’ve never seen him so emotional. Even when you both thought you lost groot in the battle with Ronan. “I have to! Quill is out there!” you say, “and you better not shoot at me too!” you say, referring to the fact he just shot gamora to keep her from chasing after Peter. He grabs your wrist, and you see tears in his eyes. “Please.. you can’t… I can’t… you’re the one person… I can’t lose..”

- You are everything to rocket. He’d never tell you that, but you’ll certainly tell him. It leads to you wondering if you care more about him than he cares about you. As you confess these feelings to Rocket, he sighs deeply, grabbing your hand. “I… you’re… you’re the whole galaxy to me.. I’m sorry I never knew how to tell you that.”

- you dragged Rocket around, which to him felt like forever. It wasn’t a bad way to spend the day, but he made it seem like an eternity was passing by. “Why are you dragging me around with you anyway.” “Because I like dragging you around. Cause I like you.” He groans. “You’re such a freakin sap.” “You love it.” You smile at him giddily. And for once, he smiles back. “Yeah. I do.”

- you felt a rope wrap around your ankles and pull you to the ground. You land straight on your face. Instead of being nice to you for once and being a good boyfriend, Rocket simply laughs in your face. “Rocket if you keep laughing at me I will cut your nails!” making rocket shut up pretty quickly. Works like magic.

- “wake up!” You say, slapping your boy right in the face. “Ow! What the hell was that for!” “Saw it in a show Peter watches! Thought it would help!”

- you push Rocket into quills ship, as he tries to converse with a man from the nova corps as to why he should be allowed to literally steal. “Get in you big moron.” “Who you calling the big moron?! Drax is right there for you to insult!”

- “don’t worry babe, I’ll get us out of here” Rocket says with a smirk and a wink, before literally getting tossed away by drax straight into the enemy. By the time he comes back, surprisingly in one piece, you look down at your boyfriend who’s crawling on the ground back towards you. “I’m sure.”

- “I’m working on my anger, really I am. But can you please for the love of Christ stop letting drax in our room.” Rocket says, clearly exhausted. “I didn’t.” “Well I know I didn’t! Why are you lying?!”

- “I could never be mad at you groot.” You smile, giving the baby a light hug so as to not hurt him. “I am groot?” “Rocket is a different story baby.” “Oh Cmon!”

- “y/n I love you but there’s literal plants growing from your shelves because you haven’t cleaned them.” “No there isn’t.” “Oh am I supposed to believe groot is growing mushrooms now?”

- “aww! Rocket you softie!” you grin, scratching his head affectionately as he tries to get you off of him. “No I’m not!! Get off!”

- Rocket gives you a noogie, as you beg him to knock it off with a smile and a giggle on your face. “Not until you admit you like me!”

- you hold your hand out to rocket, giving him the widest grin he’s ever seen on your face. No matter how much he doesn’t want to, he allows it, because he’d give anything to see you smile like that forever. He grabs onto your hand, “just so you know, I can’t dance for shit.” you giggle, “I know.”

- you hear Rocket purr, and man he purrs loud. Your almost positive if anyone walked into this room, they’d hear it even from the door. You purred yourself, but it’s rather quiet especially when in comparison to your boyfriend. “What’s with that dumb grin on your face?” Rocket mumbles, sleepily, taking in your features. “Your purring.” “Tch no I’m not, that’s you.” “You cannot lie straight to my face about this one, it’s not working.”

- “why did you come back? We both know I don’t matter. Not really..” you say, looking down. And it’s the first time ever, rockets ever hurt you physically. He slaps you right in the face, and you widen your eyes, holding onto your cheek. “Ow! What was that for?!” “That was for being a fucking idiot. I was knocking some sense into you!” “Well you didn’t have to slap me!” “Listen to me!” he grabs onto your shoulders, an emotion in his eyes is one you don’t recognize, but it feels raw and powerful. “You matter to me. You are the most important person in my life. I would come back for you, again and again, every single time, if it meant keeping you safe.”

- “I hate you.” “That means I love you, in our own secret language.” “No it doesn’t.” Rocket denies, “Yes it does!!”

- he chases you around on all fours, as do you, around knowhere. He finally catches up to your speed. “Where the hell are you taking me?” “You’ll seee!” You say in a singsong voice, running off, with him trailing behind. “God I hate when you do that.”

- “we should have a cool secret handshake!” “What? No!” “Why not? We’re dating right?” “What the hell does us dating have to do with a secret handshake!”

- it’s been years since he last saw you. Finally, thanos was gone and his family was back, you were back. You finally saw him, and with a soft smile you waved to the person you fell in love with all those years ago. Watching you, he felt himself falling in love all over again. He ran towards you with insane speed, tackling you to the ground in a big hug. “Miss me?” You laughed, hugging back. “Shut up.”

- “are you… perhaps… jeaaaaloussss?” you say in that singsong tone you use so often around him that he seems to hate so much. At this point you can’t even tell if he’s genuinely annoyed or if he’s playing it up. His ear twitches in annoyance. “I am not jealous I was protecting you from him! That guy was totally gonna eat you for dinner!” “Yeah! Okay!” You laugh.

- you vividly remember something about drax saying he literally ate you and rockets species for .. dinner. “Not helping!” Rocket yells back, but you look up at the muscular male with concern. “You ate my kind too?” “Do not listen to him y/n!” Rocket yells back.

- “Cmon sweetie, did you ever have any doubt I had a plan?” “Psh. Yeah I did.” “Oh Cmon let me have this! I totally impressed you with my awesome plan!” “Yeah yeah…” you smile, crossing your arms. “I guess you did” giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Hell yeah I did.” He smirks.

- “hate to cut you short on your little ramble about how much you love me hun but can we kill these guys first?” “Ugh! You always shut me out!” “I swear I’m not doing that this time babe there is a literal space monster after us!”

- “Psh! I’m not dumb..! Am I dumb?” You turned to your boyfriend, who would normally agree that you’re a fucking moron but for once, for your sake, he’s nice. He pats you on the shoulder, “Cmon they’re just jealous baby.” “Awwwwww” you smile giving him a hug. “Nevermind I take it back! You’re a fucking bigger moron than drax!” “Cant take back what you said!” “Yes I can!”

[blu-scout-the-cooler-scout]

HLU I FUCKED UP

BLU. SOLDIERS GONNA KILL ME

i said la viva la France AS A JOKE MAN HES FONNA FREAKIN KILL ME, YOU, ALL DA SCOURS

‼️‼️

- @the-green-scout

Haha you moron, you're on your own for this one..

Wait.. all the scouts?

Oh shi-

[the-plagueis-crew]

❝I, ah, am more comfortable with spellcraft!❞ he said as he gulped, unable to tear his eyes away from Yang's large tits, and even more incapable of hiding the scent of his arousal from a freaking dragon! He tried to walk away when suddenly he tripped and fell backward, his coat opening and revealing a throbbing bulge in his pants ❝Uhm, uh, My name is Jax Winterswhat'syours!?❞

Open RP Starter: Dragon Slaying

The bounty hung off the upper corner of the guild hall's job board, fluttering a bit each time the door swung open. It had been there for a few weeks now—over a month, at least!—and still, no one had dared accept it. Of course, one look at the job listing itself told all it needed to:

"WANTED: Adventurer willing and able to hunt down the dragon terrorizing the countryside. Rumored to be Adolescent to Adult, and the cause of at least three of the township pillagings this year. Reward of 10,000 gold upon successful slaying of dragon—proof of kill to be offered prior to acceptance of reward."

Clearly, not a quest for the faint of heart, which was why so many in the guild had ignored it...and why every head in the hall turned as they watched you rip it from the board and walk out to your quest.

[Choose one dragon to go after]

[ask-the-critters-survival-au]

Kickin your an idiot! Be HONEST it’s that hard you moron! ‘Hoppy I’m worried Bubba is going to be sent to find us and he’s mentally broken.’ Just tell the freakin truth you giant ding dong dumbass!

I have been nothing BUT honest!

No, you’ve been nothing but stupid. Wait, that’s a lie. You’ve been nothing but delusional AND stupid.

[cosmicjoke]

having read your opinions and analysis on pretty much every AOT character, what is your opinion on Floch? Do you think it was reasonable the way he acted? His stans still continue to annoy me in TikTok claiming he was right because paradise got bombed at the end and pretty much shitting on the story because Isayama didn’t follow their weird headcannon.

I freakin' hate Floch, lol, and anyone who defends his actions or claims he was acting "reasonably" is both a total fool and a piece of shit. It was Floch's war mongering and the Yeagerists militarization, plunging Paradis down the path of war, Nationalism, fascism and hostility, that ends up getting the island bombed and destroyed. That people don't understand this shows how unbearably stupid they are, and is an unfortunate, real-life example of why war never ends. Because you'll always have morons like Floch in real life who think what he believed and tried to do was "reasonable", and would act the same in any, given situation.

[rocketraccoonrp]

Hey I’m Rocket, guardian of the freakin' galaxy. My hobbies include saving the world, kicking butt, and stealing stuff. (Speaking of which, I still need to get my paws on Bucky’s arm, so if you see him, send him my way.) I’m the head of the guardians of the galaxy. (Quill thinks he is, but that guy is a moron. Can’t even fly a ship.) So if you need rescuin’, give us a holler. We don’t take money. (But if you don’t give us money, we’ll probably steal it from you later.)

Rules:

1. SFW

2. no triggering topics (little bit of violence is okay but nothing graphic or descriptive)

3. Swearing is allowed (Rocket cusses a lot)

4. No homophobia, racism, transphobia, etc.

[th3-st4r-l0rd]

Hey moron. It’s me, Rocket.

@rocketraccoonrp

Oh great, I guess every freakin' lifeform with a connection to a satellite is on here! Rocket, I thought you'd hate this type of thing??