#frankly - I can't even
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'my cousin is all stomach and no heart' is such a funny thing for illario to tell rook if he maybe is picking up on a little bit of a Vibe going on there. the 'LMAO. well good luck with that friend. better hotties than you have tried and failed and dashed themselves against the legendarily unamorous cliffs of my cousin's complete obliviousness and lack of interest to no avail. (optional 'may I suggest a more hah-hem *undoes another few buttons on his shirt that thing is open almost to his navel now it's borderline obscene* available dellamorte for your consideration. I mean if you're like in the market for one anyway' devious undertone as you see fit)' energy is off the charts.
(illario is above all a funny petty bitch and that's why I love him so indescribably. no no lucanis is right we need him around to drop shade like this he is in fact also an essential crow. we all contribute in our own ways)
#also I need to see his face when he realizes that lucanis IS in fact fucking that weird little goth twink. On The Regular and w enthusiasm#'of ALL the people who've thrown themselves at you over the years THIS is what you go for?? 'festooned in skulls' is your thing???'#(lucanis' thing is emotional security and safe sincere enduring affection but I don't think illario could grasp that in a thousand years)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I actually think the writing as it stands for illario could work really well if the voice direction had been better#the voice actor is using such an obvious aggro Ze Evil Voice tone the whole way through I think if he was more soft-spoken#and more seemingly good-naturedly jocular and sometimes vulnerable the actual words work well enough to add some subtlety#(I mean. not a lot of subtlety. it's not like you'd wonder who the traitor is and I frankly don't think you're really meant to#that's not the point. it's a car crash you have to watch. but it would make the emotional tone a bit different and more compelling)#between that and some of the environmental storytelling -- the burned letter from zara even though the whole house is FULL#of venatori there's really no point in like. hiding evidence at this point lol vs. the one he wrote lucanis lying neatly on a table#in the same room -- the fact that he can't bring himself to hurt caterina. he seems to be staying in the room across the hall from her.#you know there are some signs here that just maybe#lucanis' hopes for him are not as completely incomprehensibly delusional as it looks on the surface haha
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you don't need a sous vide machine to sou vie! all you need is some plastic freezer bags and like, a cheap digital thermometer (and a pot for water). you might need to get finicky by adding water to the pot during the process to keep the water a consistent temp.
You: Ah, yes, Egg Guy! Guy who ate 15 raw eggs! Wow! Hey, you seem extremely reasonable and controlled and ludicrously hinged. Like, 20 goddamn hinges on you. More hinges than a door store. May I recommend carefully putting eggs in a bag, putting a thermometer in water, then boiling the egg bag while watching it carefully whilst it rises to temperature? Also keep in mind that any significant mistake in this process will simply result in the worlds largest and least appetizing hardboiled egg clusterfuck.
Me: Oh wow, what a wonderful idea. By the way, I seem to have dropped my pen. Yes, here, on the side of the line that says "Stand Back - He Bites." Yes, it refers to someone else. Yes, I am very scared he'll come back while I'm still in range. All the more reason for you to be a good chap and pick up the pen for me. That's right. Perfect.
Perfect.
#the one responses more unhinged are the ones from people telling me to visit japan just to eat raw eggs#“oh yeah i'll fly halfway across the fucking world for an egg”#“very reasonable”#why not make a pit stop in fucking greece for an olive too#visit india for one single mango#fuck you#i mean i love tumblr and i love you guys but also fuck you#and fuck your egg advice#i passed quantum mechanics#i am a radiation hardness engineer#my failures at not from a lack of knowledge#and frankly knowledge will not save the world#when i am bad#(and i am frequently bad)#it is not because i do not know good from evil#it is because at that moment i did not want good#i wanted evil#and i got it#and i sucked its yolk out#and if you can't imagine a world where people with knowledge and capability choose to be idiots sometimes#then you cannot imagine this world#which is not even a particularly interesting world to imagine#do better#love you all again#cannot emphasize the love enough#but i will kill the next person that tells me how to eat eggs#i will#do not test me#babylon-shitpost
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Please come back to Deviantart and upload all your art!!!!!!!!!
deviantart can suck my whole entire dick and can keep sucking it until they decide to get rid of their AI bullshit
anyway reminder that y'all should join sheezyart
my username there is cozy
#deviantart#ask#doodles#ms paint#dat me#art#lukeisawesome20#looks like i managed to catch the registration window again for sheezyart dhbjsdfbh psychic powers strike again#im done with deviantart. its been nothing but bad decisions ever since wix took over#and then i saw the official staff page promoting AI grifters who were selling generated adopts and making tens of#thousands of dollars a year from them. y'all should be promoting REAL artists. and then i knew i had to leave.#frankly im not even sure i'd go back even When they get rid of the ai bullshit. and i say When because they're being successfully sued rn#its been bad over there i just can't do it anymore. its not worth my time and it shouldn't be worth yours either#any of yours#fuck deviantart
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hi friends, if anyone happens to be reading this, i'm just letting you know that my blog has been intentionally wiped - something i've been contemplating doing for awhile now. to be blunt, i have been overwhelmingly suicidal for a good 6 months, so considering i log off feeling worse than when i logged on more often than not, i've decided to remove myself from social media for a long while. i need to figure out how to survive the sudden downturn in my health while doing postgrad and working full time (i collapsed out of nowhere and haven't been able to walk since before christmas, i am covered head to toe in hives 24/7 which are extremely painful and won't respond to any treatment - that’s just the tip of the iceberg, but I can’t just stop working and take care of myself like i need to) sending love ❤️
#every day feels like torture and then on top of that i keep getting shit on over and over again in ways that have ruined me#i have completely isolated myself from everyone and i'm just sitting here reeling wondering how i let it all get to this point#i can't even bring myself to answer a message from anyone anymore - i don't remember the last time i talked to a friend#it feels especially difficult to be in this place because i overcame so much and i WAS happy for a good while there#i always had hope back then though - now i feel hopeless about the future#it feels embarrassing to go so far backwards when there are SO many cool things going on like being able to own a home and getting engaged#i really need to figure things out and make change and i can't do it while i'm stuck doomscrolling on multiple social media sites#which all quite frankly make me extremely miserable and don't align with where i want to go - the moral grandstanding is getting unbearable#i may publish some of the gifs in my drafts but that’s all
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While rereading mdzs I am once again shocked by how talked about the "you were the only mistake he ever made" line from Lan Xichen to Wei Wuxian is and how heated it gets some people because honestly... I don't think he actually even believes that.
Stay with me. Look at the actual line. (I Included 2 translations for comparison's sake)
Firstly, yes he is mad at Wei Wuxian in this scene. But his biggest moment of anger was actually before this. By this point he's realized that Wei Wuxian forgot what happened after nightless city (and therefore ISN'T stringing along his baby brother on purpose) so he has in fact calmed down a bit.
Secondly, notice that he starts by talking about how his uncle felt. This is not Lan Xichen making a value statement about what he thinks. When he says Lan Wangji was proper and righteous he is talking about him being a model lan, he's talking about their family and clan's perspective of Wangji. Indeed, in their eyes, Wei Wuxian is the only time Lan Wangji was ever not the textbook perfect Lan.
Thirdly, what is Lan Xichen trying to say here? What is he mad at Wei Wuxian for? It's that he doesn't know Lan Wangji is in love with him. His anger is eased by realizing Wei Wuxian doesn't remember the very blatant confessions lwj made in the cave after nightless city, or Lan Wangji fighting his own clan elders for Wei Wuxian, and so had no way of knowing the whipmarks on Lan Wangji's back were related to him. But he is still mad, he still thinks Wei Wuxian should have been able to figure it out. So what does he highlight?
The fact that the only thing Lan Wangji, perfect model-Lan righteous Lan Wangji, ever defies his clan for is Wei Wuxian.
And Wei Wuxian has seen him do this! Even if he doesn't remember this one instance. Because Lan Wangji has been doing that the whole story through. Wei Wuxian has watched Lan Wangji blatantly stand against the entire cultivation world for him, and here Lan Xichen is highlighting just how unusual that is, how much Wei Wuxian must mean to Lan Wangji that he's willing to do that. The important part of the sentence here is not "mistake" it's "only."
Lan Xichen here isn't trying to say that he disapproves of Wei Wuxian, or telling him to stay away from his brother. Remember, the thing that made him mad in the first place was Wei Wuxian saying that he and Lan Wangji slept in seperate rooms. He thought they were together! He's mad because they're not!
At no point does Lan Xichen say he individually considers Lan Wangji's feelings for Wei Wuxian a mistake. If he ever did, it's clear he accepted them regardless long ago. Mistake or not, what he wants is for his little brother to be happy.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#lan xichen#For the record even IF he really did think of wwx as a mistake I think he's owed a moment of pettiness!#he's wrong but when i see people cite it as a major reason they dislike him i'm like... everyone in this novel is a war criminal#but frankly that's not so relevant because looking at the text... he doesn't think that!#he's consistently pro wangxian the whole story through. this speech is literally the catalyst to wwx confessing his feelings to lwj!!#frankly for a shovel talk – which it basically is– this whole thing is MILD. there weren't even any death threats!#also!! it drive me up the all when people mistake the intentional xiyao wangxian parralels in this scene as a personal dig on lxc#Yes! Xiyao and wangxian are foils! everyone seeing wwx as a stain on hanguang-jun's reputation but the venerated triad as an honorable bond#only for wangxian to end up happy and lan xichen with both his sworn brothers dead... that's the themes baby!!! can't trust reputations!!#but then people get mad like 'wow how DARE he say that when HE liked jgy!' that's the point!! miss mxtx did that on purpose!#Also lan xichen is VERY aware at this point just how much jgy lied to him! It's not like he's still in his a-yao is innocent era#He is LITERALLY a hostage! He is processing all of this as we speak!#he's less 'YOU are a mistake and i wish wangji didn't love you! unlike me who has never trusted anyone i shouldn't'#and more 'my entire life is falling apart right now and my little brother is the only one in my family who might still get a happy ending-#WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU???'
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Kind of want to write an academic AU. Do I know for what ship/fandom? Nope. Do I have any plot besides mundane suffering and/or disturbingly specific catharsis for me? I do not. Have I written fic in ages? I have not. And yet. Here we are.
#hilary for ts#etc etc processing trauma through writing#also my novel is finished!#can't decide whether to bother trying to find an agent but that seems like a lot of work#and i have made a cover and everything so it would be easy to publish#bad news: there will be a sequel#i am already 120k words deep#but yes this is the definition of “no plot just vibes”#and frankly there are barely even any vibes#i just like to put my blorbos in academia and watch them suffer#for reasons
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Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.
For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).
(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)
Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.
Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.
Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.
Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.
Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.
Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.
But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.
Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.
As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.
#hope it's not too long but i'll make it a read more if somebody thinks it is#i spammed discord i spammed bsky it's only fair i post it on tumblr too#kokichi ouma#shuichi saihara#saiouma#danganronpa#like obviously normally you'd go for something like Kokichi as Homura and Shuichi as Madoka and I'm just not that sure of it myself#like the vibes match at the first glance but the more I think about it the less it actually works for the characters in question#one of Kokichi's most defining chracteristics is that he cares a lot about everybody and frankly more than probably any other V3 character#but in a very... general sense if you get me. characters like Kaito and even Shuichi pick some people they like to care for and everybody#else is like whatever - sucked but now it's done like after Korekiyo's execution he says nothing abt him while both Makoto & Hajime offer#Celeste and Mikan some more thoughts and compassion; anyway obviously Kokichi doesn't care about say Kaede more than Shuichi but he still#gives all their lives the same amount of respect just for the sake of it; that's what makes chapter 4 so horrifying from his perspective#and also why in chapter 5 he isn't willing to do the same anymore and instead chooses to die himself so Maki of all people can survive and#so Kaito can go in a blaze of glory. and these two are arguably the two characters who treated him the worst (not that anybody treated him#well save for maybe Gonta and Kiibou). so i can't imagine Kokichi in Homura's role - reaching the point where he cares about only one perso#surviving while everybody else can die in a ditch bc the one time he picked his life over anybody else's he had a wholeass breakdown & then#killed himself several days later even though logically it would've made more sense to either kill Kaito who's dying anyway or throw Maki#under the bus since she was the one to fuck things up in the first place and proved herself to be a danger to the group.#Shuichi meanwhile he absolutely could given his lack of regard for some of the dead (Rantaro Ryouma idk abt Angie but I remember little#Korekiyo Miu and finally Kokichi himself) so he could snap at some point#anyway time to shut up it's getting long in these tags
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me every time i remember the (cut) song biggering from the lorax
#the contrast between the parts of it that share the same lyrics with how bad can i be still makes me feel insane btw#frankly i just can't get over the fact that a song with a tone like /that/ was ever even considered for the lorax. of all movies#still mistifying to me. it's unlike any other cut content from that movie. what version of it could it have been made for
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"She liked him since the beginning! The ship was hinted at the beginning!"
AH!! How come people are so stuck on mentioning just how Ochako feels and not Izuku?
It's like some of you can't process that regardless of whether she had a crush on him or not, which again isn't a bad thing, her crush shouldn't be the only thing Ochako stands for.
It's not a personality trait and I hate it people will treat it like it is.
If anything, it just feels weird!
And I ask again, then what about Izuku? Oh, what did he not like her in the beginning? Or it's just being realizing that his mannerisms is that of a person being nervous and/or embarrassed?
Or does it not matter because "He's a guy, he's gonna have the girl anyways, so who cares if he develops romantic feelings for Ochako"?
And I wouldn't say Ochako even liked Izuku in the beginning romantically. In fact, I would say she started to like him that way during the Final War Arc.
Saying she liked him in the beginning would imply she liked him since they met.
Oh, please, the word "crush" didn't come up until season 3 during the Provisional License Exam arc. And how that scene played out, let's be real, Ochako believing she had a crush was enforced by Mina. Someone is obsessed with the idea of love. That's whose word is to be believed? Are you joking?
And I said this before, as big as Iida is, people be acting like he's invisible. Mina brought him up to in that conversation as, hello, Ochako hung around him a lot, too. Izuku just so happen to be who Ochako's attention went to because he was right in her line of sight... while practicing moves inspired by Iida!!
Now, do I think Ochako confessing her feelings undeveloped her growth? No. She accomplished what she wanted to do and I don't see Izuku making her a wife at the end. I see them deciding to reconcile a bond. Do I think Toga was forgotten? Uh, no. She is drawn right there and been on Ochako's mind for nearly a whole damn decade.
Everything about this chapter is up for debate. We don't know if that ship is truly canon and who said it has to be? And if it is, who is stopping you from not shipping it?
I know some people hate to see that IzuOcha handhold as the last shot and I get it. But I wouldn't be too pressed about given it's a part of an aftermath. You can just pretend the epilogue doesn't exist. Chapter 430 is still the complete story. You don't have to read the epilogue to fully understand the story.
Epilogues typically are just added ending scenes to show a glimpse into the future and/or to tie up loose ends. And honestly, MHA didn't need it. This was just something to have.
What I do know is I'm not on anyone's side.
I find funny that people who don't ship BakuDeku was quick to be like "I only see BakuDeku as platonic, the shippers really want them to be romantic, they're like brothers". But if anyone even implies that maybe the ending could be Izuku and Ochako rekindling their friendship, it's "how dare you, Ochako said she loved him".
Again, what about Izuku?! DID HE LIKE HER FROM THE BEGINNING?!
If BakuDeku are "like brothers", then bring up how Izuku and Ochako look like relatives. Having the same face shapes and whatnot.
Look, both sides are wrong. The behavior is ridiculous. Attacking and harassing each other over characters some of you clearly don't really care about unless it is for shipping.
I know the story isn't flawless, what story is, but it's not hard to actually read and try to understand what these characters are all about.
I'm not an expert on these characters, I'm not. But I adore them and regardless of how the writing is, I like to read their arcs and understand them better.
And there's no need to point at someone and fire lasers to do that.
If you ship BakuDeku, ship it. If you ship IzuOcha, ship it. No one is fucking stopping you. Heck, the story shouldn't stop you.
But all of this ship war bullshit is stupid. The official epilogue ain't even out yet, but here y'all go wanting to argue and argue and argue and argue and harass and harass and argue and act the fucking donkey.
"Well BakuDeku shippers are toxic!"
"IzuOcha shippers are toxic!"
No, look in the mirror, sit back and do some self-reflection.
Come December, the story will be done, finished, published, sold, another one in the "Well, that manga is finished" collection.
#like once more 98% of the fandom has unsurprisingly disappointed me#honestly the whole ochako likes him thing sometimes infuriates me because how the characters and the fandom act#reminds me of how being girl people can't be normal when there's a girl and a boy in the same space#and if you had a crush? it's like that's all people want to bring up and it's fucking weird and invasive even joke or not#so what if a girl has a crush? i don't see people making boys having a crush their whole life story#crushes are normal and can play a part in one discovering themselves#but if you're going to only acknowledge someone having a crush you're doing no one favors#like let's not forget ochako was established to be someone who wanted to be a hero first hm?#i don't care if you're a bkdk or izch shipper if you annoy me you annoy me and frankly a lot of you have i don't discriminate#just kiya's thoughts#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#uraraka ochako#ochako uraraka#midoriya izuku#izuku midoriya
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thinking about Julie going into hibernation, but also how she was participating in winter activities and was at the Homewarming party.
obv an in-universe excuse is writing inconsistency within the show but nahh. i wanna get sad.
My headcanon is that Julie begins hibernation after the Homewarming party. Right after. And later in the evening it turns into a different party, Julie's Goodnight Party (name in progress).
It's fun, because any party with this rainbow monster's name in it is gonna be fun! but there's an underlying somberness. They eat, play games and talk about everything and anything like the Homewarming party, but it just feels different.
(continues below, sad warning bc I made myself sad)
When Julie starts getting sleepy, the party ends with her neighbors giving their farewells, goodnights, and big hugs.
Frank is the one to walk her home, of course. He brushes Julie's hair, makes sure her and her nest has everything she needs, and stays with her as she falls asleep. But not before they share a big, comforting, long hug filled with every unspoken "I'll miss you" and every ounce of love they can pour into it.
It's the longest Frank has ever hugged anybody. "A hug long enough to get him through winter," according to Julie.
He wished that were true.
Either way he smiles, he smiles for Julie as it's the last expression she sees before finally closing her eyes to sleep.
The tears that later soaked into his pillow are the only secret Frank's ever kept from his best friend.
#After taking Eddie home this past holiday Frank nearly missed Julie going home. He got there right as she was about to leave#He had stayed with Eddie until he fell asleep knowing he'd wake up in the morning.#Before he stayed with Julie until she fell asleep knowing she'd wake up in the spring.#Man i am. So emotional over this#julie hibernating is insane. and must be insanely hard on frank#frank really doesn't like winter#but maybe in the future he'll have a certain mailman's shoulder to cry on#and getting through winter wont seem so hard#imagine if you didn't read the post and are sitting down here like 'what this dude on about'#read my sad rambles and maybe you'd know! /silly#welcome home#julie joyful#frank frankly#homewarming#welcome home headcanons#headcanon#typing out loud#Julie's Hibernation Edition#this all came to mind bc im thinking about the Hurricane thats gonna steal my electricity tmrw#it got me thinking about blizzards#and what the neighbors would do in a blizzard. and what about Julie? what if they can't reach her?#i was thinking frank has Barnaby and Howdy move her and her nest into his guest room#just for the storm. she goes back home afterwards even if he wanted her to stay#welp.. i need to do laundry while i have power still sooo#that's all folks!#oh and ignore typos hehe
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Augh
#fancy is really struggling#and the babies are lovely and just FASCINATING in how they developed around but not shaped by humans and i so very deeply enjoy them#but they are also a little ungovernable due to their age and general lack of caring about rules and they are bothersome and rowdy#and it is obviously so so hard on her and my heart is breaking because im afraid we wont be able to get her through this#and i will have to give the babies up#and...not have another cat#just one#i would be crushed#and added to all of that is that the babies are taking their time learning to be pets and that is fine and wonderful actually#but...i need surgery on at least one ankle and i won't be able to keep up with them if things haven't sorted themselves out by then#and they haven't become more manageable and fancy hasn't adjusted#so we are asking about meds for poor fancy and hoping that works#but she's really having a hard time guys and i am fighting so hard to cope in a household where i spend most of my time alone#with two animals who don't love me yet or interact with me like pets (i'm a source of three things: food and snuggles on demand and NO STOP#and one who is sad and not herself#and frankly it's terrible that i can't fix this#and i am trying not to lose my shit but this wasn't supposed to be so hard#and im afraid i may lose five cats and not three#and im already barely holding on#i don't know what to do and neither does my boyfriend#i don't want to turn around and have to tell you guys we can't keep the babies#i feel like i am failing at something i am supposed to be GOOD AT#i don't want to be in a house so empty#i can't live like that#having the babies is lovely#they're so alive and the boys were so sick by the end and the stress of the constant anxiety and grief as they faded away was crushing#even before they died#it's been so good to have them running about#i don't want to LOSE that#im so tired of LOSING things
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Two things that exist in the same space at the same time:
Trans men, transmasculine people, and those in between by and large don't transition "just because of" misogyny and the attempt to deny our experiencess and whittle them down to a very narrow vision of transness is transphobic
Misogyny is still an axis of oppression that trans men, transmasculine people, and those in between can experience. Deny us the language to describe this helps nobody, and the implication that we must either be women to describe the bigotries we face or just shut up about them is just a defense of both misogyny and transphobia
#trans politics#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#in fact (if i can say it) i have experienced MORE misogyny than i did before transitioning#and that doesn't mean women 'dont have it bad' but that this is an intracommunity issue#as in: it is an issue that multiple communities must fight *together* on#if you can't even fathom that a trans guy *might* know a thing or two about misogyny you have lost the plot i think#you can be a man and experience misogyny#and the implication that you either Be A Woman or Shut Up about experiencing misogyny is so fucking twisted and frankly kind of evil#i'm not going to lie about my identity or my experiencess because it makes *you* uncomfortable#i am more interested in making it so that NOONE experiences misogyny. because bigotry is Bad no matter who it's against#and if this goal doesn't happen in my lifetime then so be it
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No because thinking about Amaya as queen is making me insane.
Like, okay Janaya forever don't get me wrong but... how many of those guards remember her killing one of their friends?
Just...
I don't know, maybe it's understood that it's not personal but she's not just A human™, you know?
#side note#i can't believe Callum missed the wedding#why would the writers make that choice?#i wanted to see them have a cute family moment#but nooo#and quite frankly the humans were right anyway#they don't have any natural power#why wouldn't you even the playing field#you kill chickens for sustenance so what's the difference?#dragon prince#tdp season 6#tdp spoilers#janaya#sel speaks
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every day i think about my digital footprint that i've left for the world to see (hundreds of comments left on asmr/audio rp channels, this entire tumblr account)
#i can't track em all even if i tried#frankly i don't care THAT much#but it's very funny to go back to an audio and see a comment of mine under it frm liek 2 yrs ago#like wtf girl shut up why r u yapping .. /j#audio rp#asmr#asmr rp#audio roleplay#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted fandom
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ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".
like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!
on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.
returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body
literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence
#reblogs turned off because obviously i'm already bracing to be pilloried for saying one thing not quite correctly or whatever#and also bc i have zero interest in having this be boosted by trans dudes on their own transandrophobia agenda either#i'm just venting#but frankly the first time i got yelled at for saying that as an intersex person some of the immense violence i experienced as a child#was motivated by transmisogyny#i was a teenager and it was someone a fair bit older than me with more local clout so like. it's been a decade. how is it worse now.#intersex spaces have made SO much progress and yet#also yes i'm femme! i'm femme in a trans way! many dykes who aren't women are!#many of us got more comfortable w it as adults who had gender agency!#in literally the same way it took my wife ages after transitioning to work out she's also butch and doesn't actually want to do femme thing#bc that's a shared experience in how we've navigated the expectations of womanhood before opting out of the parts we don't want!#anyway the lawcomm shit was fucked bc honestl i don't give a shit if someone lost their gonads as an adult in an accident#they should be protected even if they don't consider themselves intersex#and we know that gender as an axis of oppression comes back to the reproduction of the nuclear family#and that cis women who can't have kids sometimes become the political football though ofc not as much by far and like#idk. y'all ever heard about solidarity? sometimes i feel like i'm back in the place where the loudest traumatised person at the party#is yelling at another young woman like “you'll never understand what it's like to be a victim”#when said young woman was assaulted the week before.#a politics that starts by defending and defining oneself w oppression kinda fucking sucks actually#and intersex people stopped policing intersexness by who got mutilated a long time ago#bc actually we want the generations ahead to not get that treatment#and when i see “trans elders” going on about how “if you pass and got on hrt before 18 you're not trans like i am” i'm like. why! what!#anyway. tired.#may regret this. we shall see#tony muses
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I don't feel like this is a safe place
Maybe it never was
#yall need to understand how you sound from a Muslim's perspective. its frankly disgusting.#i have so many thoughts i want to share but can't bcoz i know the reactions. bcoz i don't want to hurt ppl even if these ppl don't give a#a fuck abt hurting others#the west is selfish and sheltered and blind#vent post#unfollow me if offended. im too exhausted to care at this point tbh#i cannot bring myself to cate after all I've seen
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