#frankie... i'm not sure tbh

[carbonateddelusion]

I'm NORMAL (thinking about the fruit dads/the poly boyfriends with Eddie bc I remembered the picture of Max screaming at Chuck)

[picturebookshelf]

Monster High: Freaky Fusion (2014)

Adapted: Perdita Finn -- Screenplay: Keith Wagner -- Art: Unknown

[franeridan]

yes all your redesigns for the mugiwaras post timeskip are wonderful and amazing and full of fun details but do you realise that oda has to draw those over and over and over again every single day for the foreseeable future. are you gonna draw all the tattoos and jewelry and scars and layers of clothing for him.

[princeoftheeternalbog]

Really sleepy and so like sleeping with you headcannons lets go

I'm not sure half of these are even on the same vibe so uhm like do with that what you will, this is so long and it's atrocious but oh well. Also sorry if its ooc😻

I think maybe one line of suggestive in Franky's and Namis.

I feel like i forgot someone tbh..

Luffy

Sleeps anywhere and everywhere but sleeps better and longer next to you. Thus he is obsessed with sleeping with you and whenever he wants to sleep now you have no choice you must take sleep too. He snores and drools but that's kind of a win because then he doesn't care if you do yk? Loves taking naps with you and it's a way he likes to connect with you. Always kisses you before you sleep and after you wake up. He's so comfortable to lie next to because he's so squishy and he holds you in like every way possible because he doesn't have to worry about circulation being cut off or anything.

Zoro

Again he will sleep literally anywhere. He sleeps like a log but somehow you are the only person able to wake him up, Robin theorises it's his observation haki keeping an eye on you but whatever it is you are Zoros designated alarm clock. However, there is about a 30% chance that when you wake him up, he will just snatch you to cuddle and go back to sleep. You cannot escape his hold and if you keep trying to wake him up he'll just bite you(gently) idk he's feral. Depends on his schedule if he's comfortable or not, usually when he's bulking up he's squishier and it's nice to cushion your head on.

Sanji

Never naps and it's so alarming. How does he survive on like 6 hours everyday we will never know. Anyways he's very clingy when he's sleepy but in like a 'I don't want to bother you so I'll just sit over here looking really forlorn', just take the man to bed. Is somehow so comfy to sleep with it's actually annoying because after a certain point you just can't sleep alone anymore. Always tucks you in if you don't get up at the same time as him and he'll leave little snacks and drinks on your bedside table for when you do wake up. Sanji has a more lean muscly build so it's more comfortable to have him lie on top of you and he is not complaining in the slightest.

Nami

Loves cuddling in the winter, hates it in the summer. She's really sensitive to the temperature yk it's that innate sense of the weather, so when it's hot she is hot. But she really likes being able to touch you, so after a certain point she just forces franky to install(invent) air conditioning and it makes the summer so much more bearable. After this there's no escape, you will be cuddling every night (unless boundaries yk). She always tries to convince you stay in bed in the morning...and it always works. She's very persuasive okay. Lets you use her as a pillow, like her chest or thighs or tummy, she just wants to be next to you.

Usopp

Really shy about sleeping with you the first time. Only the first time. After that well lets just say you created a monster. He's really good at telling when you need a nap, especially when you won't admit it. He just subtly ushers you to a comfy spot and then oh what a surprise your eyes are getting really heavy and hm Usopp wouldn't mind if you leant on him for a bit and then snoreville. He thinks you're so pretty when you're sleeping because you look so peaceful and relaxed, so even if he's not tired he will always agree to a nap. He will carry you to bed. And he's so casual about it too, I guess because you're not like watching him directly so he's just like really chill.

Robin

Actually has a nap schedule with her sleep schedule, she usually takes a very short one after lunch because her power can be quite draining and so once you find this out it's just a big cuddle session which she loves. She tends to keep you to a sleep schedule too but she won't force you if you are really insistent on staying up, but she will say I told you so when you're grumpy and feel sick the next day. So lovely to sleep with, she barely moves, never hogs the blanket, doesn't snore and somehow always stays very cool even in the summer. She also always makes sure you get into bed safely if you're drunk or ill, even if she is too, she really cares about you.

Franky

I won't lie...he builds himself an entire like cushion add-on thing so you can comfortably sleep next to him. He looks like a giant marshmallow man it's so funny. But also it's so cute because he takes your comfort so seriously and he runs multiple tests to make sure it's the absolute comfiest he can be for you. Loves naps but absolutely adores actual bedtime because of the whole like rituals and because he knows he doesn't have to get up in like an hour. Sometimes he will seriously overwork into the night, but on those occasions it's fairly easy to coax him to bed(😚). Also he wears one of those stupid scrooge hats tbh. And yes he says super in his sleep.

Brook

Really insecure about sleeping together because he thinks he'll be uncomfortable to lie next to or cuddle :(. On the other hand, you're also really worried because you don't want to accidentally hurt him while he's asleep, so for the first few months you sleep in beds that are close enough to hold hands instead. Eventually when you both become comfortable with the idea, you end up sleeping together almost every night and you occasionally nap together too. He wears really soft padded pajamas to make sure you're comfy. It's surprisingly more comfy to sleep next to him than you thought it would be.

I won't lie sometimes you do shit yourself waking up and seeing a skeleton.

Jinbei

So responsible, absolutely will stop you from napping if it's too close to bedtime. He knows sleep is important but he also knows a routine is important...and he can't bear watching you sleep alone so if you mess up your schedule then you're messing up his. This also works for if you try to stay up late too, he'll straight up snatch you off the ground and just carry you to bed no matter how much you complain. Really good cuddler, like really good. He always knows how much pressure to use while holding you and when you want more or less contact, knows when you need extra blankets, when you want to sleep in a hammock instead of a bed. He's got a sixth sense for your sleeping habits (read: he's desperately in love with you).

Law

Really grumpy about it. And really shy. Also he's a hypocrite, he'll stay up working till early hours of the morning but if you dare even try he's stood there staring at you like the mf eyes of notre dame. He always wants to cuddle but absolutely despises asking so again he just stares, you can always tell though because his ears go really red. Once you're in the bed though he's suddenly mr suave i will arrange everything, he will literally pick you up to manoeuvre you both into a better sleeping position and doesn't even bat an eye. He will nap but you have to trick him into it, he secretly loves it and lets you do it even when he knows what's happening.

Kidd

Needs like 15 million blankets to sleep. Uses one of said 15 million blankets to wrap you up like a burrito if you refuse to come sleep/nap with him. But actually it kinda does hurt his feelings so you can make up for it by playing with his hair until he falls asleep. Loves napping, he's like an overgrown cat and he'll sleep literally anywhere. But if it's anywhere other than his or yours (or killers) room he somehow? manages? to scowl? in his sleep? Yeah I don't know but it just stops his crew from messing with him because he looks so angry. Like Zoro he will literally just snatch you if you're in his vicinity, like you walk past for two seconds and then suddenly your vision flips and you're just stuck in this iron grip. He won't let you go and the crew just walk past you too.

Killer

You literally don't sleep together until you've been dating for like a fucking year. He really values his privacy and you really respect it which culminates in neither of you asking for such a long time that you both forget its a common couple thing. Until someone asks why you don't sleep together and then you guys are like huh idk and then that's the day you finally do. He's a good cuddler but he's a blanket hogger and you have to braid his hair before bed or it will end up in your mouth. On the plus side, he will make and leave breakfast or coffee (or anything you want) on your bedside table if he wakes up first. Also he always picks the best bedsheets and eventually buys two quilts so you can at least have some blanket when he snatches it all.

Ace

Naturally runs like a furnance and is hell to sleep next to in the summer. But he gets really grumpy if you dont sleep next to him so the crew make you suck it up I'm sorry. Literally you're like clawing at the walls as they throw you in and lock the door. Anyways he's a really good cuddler and so comfy to sleep with, and he always takes naps with his head in your lap. He loves to have you sleep on him too because he loves to look at your face and stroke you hair, idk he likes being slow with you even though he's really energetic. Being naturally sleepy and like a little radiator also tends to make the people around him sleepy so you two are banned from working next to each other because you both just end up napping.

Marco

He doesn't sleep a lot because well he doesn't really need to. But he adores sleeping with you. It's one of his like favourite 'bonding' activities, especially if you haven't been able to be alone for a while, he just loves being that close and the intimacy of sleeping in each others beds. On another note he's obsessed with making your bed really comfy because as a doctor he knows sleep hygiene is important and as a bird...well yk...nest. He's not shy about it but don't tease him because it will hurt his feelings and he won't tell you to save your feelings, beautiful sweet man that he is. LOVES a good nap/cuddle especially in the winter, if you both have spare time he just bundles you both in a big fluffy blanket and just exists with you for a bit.

Izou

He is surprisingly a really undignified sleeper, which is why you don't sleep in the same room for months when you first get together😭. When you finally do, you wake up with his arm in your face, his hair is everywhere, there's a pillow across the room, the blanket is somehow under the bed, you're just like wtf how. And Izou is just (⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿◡⁠`⁠). But he gets better over time because his brain becomes more aware of your presence as you become more important to him and then bedtime settles into comfy chaos. Pillows still end up everywhere but he is now your cushion so you don't really care. He doesn't really nap anywhere that's not his room but if you do then he carries you to bed :).

[beaulesbian]

egghead spoilers (ch. 1069 - 1093)

i know there's still no direct reaction from zoro about luffy's gear 5/nika transformation, but i can't stop thinking about this little crumb of interaction between them on egghead:

luffy cheerfully asking if zoro needs any help with fighting rob lucci, and he's clearly still in his gear 5

and zoro telling him to focus on his own fight with kizaru, so at least with a corner of his eye he must have seen him.

the reactions we have seen so far of other people seeing luffy gear 5 were especially of surprise, shock, awe and wonder. with yamato in wano telling the strawhats (minus zoro, again, because he was unconscious beside luffy, healing), how incredible sight it was, to see luffy during the battle (ch. 1051):

on egghead - jimbei and chopper were with luffy when he first started fighting rob lucci (ch. 1069)

and then most of the strawhats - nami, usopp, sanji, robin and franky - who were watching luffy fight in gear 5 while vegapunk was explaining what/who nika is to many people (ch. 1069) - and even sanji was pointing out "he's just luffy, you know, a moron (affectionate)?", but their reactions were still very surprised (obviously).

then there's chapter 1091, with rob lucci trying to attack vegapunk, and zoro pushing him away from the lab,

and luffy goes to gear 5 and giant form when kizaru attacks, ch. 1093.

the only small moment where zoro might have seen luffy (especially bc he went to giant form), was here and... nothing.

just.. "fight your own battle, i will handle this one" - and tbh i love this "no reaction" (so far).

(there is a certain similarity here to the arlong park arc - where nojiko wants to tell them about nami's history, and both luffy and zoro don't care for it to hear it - the words or past weren't important to them, not as much as nami's decisions and actions, ch. 77.)

so it's kinda similar here on egghead with zoro not stopping to look and to realize how luffy changed - it's not important for him what he looks like, what he symbolizes for other people.

it's important to him what he does. zoro is always about the actions. and it's still luffy to him, the man who will be the pirate king, and the only man he decided to follow and call him his captain. someone he can trust and respect, and at the same time someone zoro can call out to keep his focus in front of him on the opponent and on the future (like in enies lobby, punk hazard, and even here on egghead ..).

zoro can focus on fighting rob lucci (and possibly keep him occupied until it's time to go), and knows he can count on the others and luffy to fight the other battles. (just like later on luffy can count on his crew, and focus on fighting saturn & kizaru.)

(i'm sure there will be a reaction in later chapters, especially when he's right there and we see other strawhats beside luffy. but it's interesting that zoro (and brook)'s reaction to gear 5 is still missing on the page. im wondering if brook heard some legends and stories too, and what they mean to him.)

[sanjisboyfie]

one piece smau: vacation edition

— strawhats being a cute friend group once again

— male reader, everyone having the tiniest crush on him too but thats only if u swuint (im a very selfindulgent writer sorry)

— also i imagine robin, franky and brook to be older than the rest of hte crew, but not like crazy older. its probably not really relevant, but like mid twenties insead of their thirties and forties LMFAOA the rest of the crew is young twenties

liked by ._.[name], princesanji, and 10k others

dni_nami: pre-7hr flight question, how long until we all start killing each other? everyone place your bets

tagged: ._.[name], freeluffy, and princesanji

uso_pp: we barely made it through the airport without losing luffy, so i'm placing my bet on one hour.

[liked by ._.[name], roro.zoro, and 20 others]

-> dr.law: i'm surprised you even made it through airport security....

-> freeluffy: TOORRAOO YOU SHOULD'VE COME IT WOULDVE BEEN SO FUNNNN!!!

-> dr.law: hard pass. good luck everyone else.

._.[name]: i think it's gonna be fine !!! what's the worst that can happen tbh

-> dni_nami: i could list 100 reasons why this is gonna go bad and all of them involve luffy.

-> robinkills: [name]'s right, i think this trip is going to be very fun !

liked by roro.zoro, robinkills, and 11k others

freeluffy: [name] rented bikes for us, but he won't let me drive :/

tagged: ._.[name]

SUPERCOLA: good job [name] for saving his life, much appreciated

dni_nami: i'm begging you two to not crash and make the expenses of our trip go up even more

-> princesanji: always thinking logically, nami, this is why i love you so much <333333333333333

roro.zoro: pick up some sake otw back

-> ._.[name]: yesyesyes we all know thats the only reason why you came anyway, i'll pick some up

-> roro.zoro: what. no way. i definitely wanted to be sat on a hours long flight next to luffy and be living in a small apartment with all of my friends who dont know how to speak quietly and wont let me sleep even when its already early morning. what. i am so excited to be here.

-> uso_pp: alright we get it please stop

liked by princesanji, SUPERCOLA, and 8k others

robinkills: thank you [name] for winning me the prizes :)

tagged: ._.[name]

._.[name]: anything for you robin <3 aka the person thats keeping all of us sane right now <3

princesanji: HOW DARE THIS BAFFOON STEAL YOU AWAY ROBIN PLEASE LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM, I WILL MAKE SURE HE NEVER BOTHERS YOU AGAIN

-> uso_pp: when is sanji going to accept the fact that [name] is actually apart of this friend group and that he is also more favored by the women we interact with

-> ._.[name]: dw usopp he only puts on a hard front, he ltr begged me to room with him so he could cuddle w me at night. he's just being shy rn

[liked by dni_nami, roro.zoro, and 40 others]

freeluffy: [NAME] [NAME] DID YOU GET ME THEONE I WANTED TOO??!?!?! REMEMBER I SHOWED YOU

-> ._.[name]: yes luffy :) we are otw back and i have the one you asked for as well.

-> SUPERCOLA: [name] the absolute goat in dealing with luffy and his absurd requests so the rest of us dont have to

liked by freeluffy, roro.zoro, ._.[name], and 9k others

uso_pp: morning debrief where we all share embarrassing stories, like how [name] almost stripped completely naked drunk last night because an ice spice song was playing on the karaoke.

._.[name]: alright genuinely why the fuck did that have to be the caption you put on the internet for the whole world to see

-> roro.zoro: no dont be embarassed [name] it was funny watching you try and copy her signature pose

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 90 others]

-> dni_nami: don't think about even crossing me in the future, i have a video of the whole thing bby

-> ._.[name]: GOD FORBID A GUY HAS FUN

skullnsoul: i found [name]'s dancing and singing quite endearing

-> ._.[name]: thank you brook :') you're so sweet

-> skullnsoul: yes, although i feel like you're much too old to be wearing underwear with hearts as the print, [name]. i suggest buying new pairs of boxers :)

-> ._.[name]: what the actual fuck

liked by princesanji, uso_pp, and 11k others

dni_nami: i really wish you could hear sanji cursing [name] outin this photo

tagged: princesanji and ._.[name]

._.[name]: me when im literally following the instructions that hes telling me and i somehow still get yelled at

-> princesanji: do you even understand hwo cooking meat works? everyone would have gotten salmonella and food poisoning if i didn't teach you how

->._.[name]: yelling is never the answer sanji

-> freeluffy: I THINK [NAME]'S COOKING TASTED REALLY GOOD

uso_pp: they acc cookeedddd tho like our food was so tastyyy

[liked by princesanji, ._.[name], and 9 others]

robinklills: sanji almost shoved [name]'s head into the griller, it was funny

-> ._.[name]: HE WHAT ??!?!?! I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT HE TRIED DOING THA TWHAT THE FUCK

liked by princesanji, ._.[name], and 12k others

roro.zoro: [name] told me to post this photo he took.

tagged: princesanji and ._.[name]

dni_nami: awww look all the boys finally getting along

[liked by robinkills, uso_pp, vivi, and 50 others]

-> princesanji: i would have much rather been in your presence my queen, i love you so much

-> ._.[name]: sanjii give up the bit for fucks sake

uso_pp: where was me and luffy's inv ??? ig its like that now ....

-> roro.zoro: you guys were playing mermaids in the pool at the apartment and explicitly told us to not interfere with your serious business

-> princesanji: and then you started getting mad at us for invitig you again right before we left

._.[name]: damn zoro u lookin mad fine in this photo shiiiitttt #smash

-> roro.zoro: i need you to make sure your door is locked later tn or else i cant promise you will wake up the next day

liked by dni_nami, vivi, roro.zoro, and 12k others

._.[name]: thank u nami for the photos

tagged: dni_nami

._.[name]: btw nami made me post this w that caption so it could "scare away the hoes"

-> dni_nami: im doing them a favor, they just dont know it yet cuz ur fucking insane

-> uso_pp: LMFAOAO

purrrona: can i bite it?

-> ._.[name]: BITE WHAT?????

-> purrrona: so is that a yes or a no?

-> uso_pp: professional dick rider alert !!!!

roro.zoro: why is your thirst trap the first thing i have to see when i open this app

-> ._.[name]: why are you acting like you weren't the first person to like this post???

[liked by dni_nami, robinkills, and 57 others]

portgasace: WHY THE FUCK WAS I NOT INVITED ON THIS TRIP?????

dr.law: id also like to thank nami for the photos

[l-in-the-light]

Advice for One Piece theoretists about the upcoming Strawhat crew members

I watched this vid so you all don't have to. The only thing Ohara got right is Law tbh (but the arguments he listed for him are so-so, he could have fished out so much more). I saw lately a post with big advice for One Piece theoretists to go back to their roots (early sagas), so now here's my piece of advice for all of you who want to crack the mystery of who the last Strawhats are gonna be:

crewmate (nakama) =/= friend (tomodachi). The word nakama appears in manga only when Luffy means "crewmate", it's been always consistent, because that word is clearly a big deal for Luffy. Someone who travels with Strawhats isn't automatically a crewmate. Not every friend will end up becoming a new crewmate either. Remember Water 7? Being a crewmate is a serious business, it's not just regular friends we snatched on our way. Once you're a crewmate, you're part of the family, basically. Family yakuza-style, might I add. Once you join you can't just quit because you feel like it, it's a commitment. So friends like Rebecca, Viola, Stussy, Lilith, Carrot, Bon Clay, Koby are not gonna become actual crewmates. They will always remain friends with Strawhats though!

not every crewmate will choose to take the journey with Strawhats. Take Vivi, Kin'emon or Momonosuke for example. They have their own responsibilities. That being said, if their duties ever get fullfilled, they're hopping on the crew 100%. I can see that happen with Vivi, not so much with Kin and Momo though, Wano is not gonna go anywhere, right? (or is it? :D)

Luffy made promise to Yamato. It's a promise he wants to keep in Ace's stead. This is important for him. People should start taking this seriously and I'm not sure why they don't.

plot convenience isn't enough of an argument for someone joining or not. That would be kinda bad storytelling ngl. Just because someone has "no other place to go" or "would be so useful on the crew" doesn't mean they will become a Strawhat. Being a crewmate ain't so cheap.

potential crewmate doesn't even have to be a friend at first to become a crewmate. Remember Franky's or Robin's case? Luffy was hostile towards Franky for the whole arc, not counting the very final chapters when Franky build them a new ship for free, which is The Moment when Luffy finally started liking him. At the literal end of the arc.

Luffy's final word is the most important one. Try to think of his own criteria, instead of trying to guess what's in Oda's head. Luffy is a simple boy, his criteria are also pretty simple and every Strawhat fits those. It's not about long, tragic and satisfying flashbacks (Zoro's flashback is short, for example), bonding over food, or stuff like that. You want to find Luffy's criteria, go all the way back to the beginning when Luffy meets Koby and then Zoro.

the last Strawhats do not have to be people from early sagas! Early sagas are important, but ignoring the later ones is a huge mistake. There are a few really nice theories that help you narrow it down: for example the theory of 13 Strawhats. Since as early as first OP chapters Luffy's crew is called Mugiwara Ichimi (which means Strawhat crew, but ichimi can be read as a pun: ichi means one, san means 3, Oda loves puns and number plays like that and uses them all the time, also in chapter titles). People also noticed this helpful pattern: there are always four Strawhats joining from each sea Luffy adventures in (Nami, Sanji, Zoro, Usopp from East Blue; Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brook from Paradise; that leaves us with Jimbei and three others from the New World).

Yes, I'm a believer in 13 Strawhats theory, just like most Japanese fans. Oda likes giving obscure hints for that theory scattered around. But the actual answer lies in this image:

You have all 13 Strawhats here, disguised as cats. All you need to do is crack the code and figure it out. Have fun!

My hint is: start from who Luffy considers and called a nakama. You need to search through the whole story for it :D

[rebouks]

Now now now! Ivan and Frankie! I saw it and I'm in! Could they? Might they become an item? Hmm? :3c One for us to kiss and hug and cuddle and smooch and cradle and put on our desks and admire and giggle and twirl our hair and kick our feet and shake the bars of our little cages? Idk what kind of trouble Frankie's ex-husband is, what danger he poses to her and others that might get in his way, but I'm interested in this mess now! And Ivan is great at solving messes lol And please, if Ivanesca sails, make it so that Bruno finds out about them! Maybe bc Jacob slips about them during one of their convos and he gets even more miserable and depressed! Oh, I'm such a messy bitch. Imagine if Jacob and Jude gossip about each other's dads? "I accidentally told him your dad is going out with Frankie..." "HUH?" "I know. But he... he just sat there like a stone and stared at me for a while. Then said 'he deserves to be happy.' and that was that." And in the following weeks we follow Jude as he fights the demons and the shadow people and the bloodsucking monsters to decide whether or not he should tell Ivan that that happened lol But seriously, idk what you're gonna do with him. He chose to go back to that life but I'm done with the mafia story. Sorry, but I am. I'd be happy if Bruno only showed up to talk with Jacob when he goes to visit him to vent about his teenage life, but I know that won't be just that, so... good luck sorting that guy out and how you'll handle the new side of this mafia again. Personally, I'd just dip Bruno headfirst in boiling oil. Yes, he's handsome. Yes, the most handsome of all your characters. None can hold a candle to him. Your people can fight this all they want, but even me, his official hater, know it's a FACT. And it's too bad because he's trash. So, I guess... Stay strong, Becca. Or consider the boiling oil.

this ask is so chaotic i LOVE it skjkjs... HMMMMMMM you're not the only one intrigued by Frankie's mess tho! what on earth is going on with that woman, her ex and her mess?! i'm sure we'll find out, right? girls night with some gossip WHEN Cookie?! 👀

i'm sure Bruno would find out tho right? i bet Jude and Jacob DO talk about their dad's now n then and ofc Jude will remember much more about Bruno than Pixie and i reckon B himself is miserable enough to ask Jacob for the deets don't you think?? 😅 idk what i'm gonna do with Bruno tbh.. he's just chillin' as a mobster in Oasis Springs for now ig and who knows what that really entails, Jacob usually goes to see him a couple times a month but ofc B is never working when he sees his son, i wonder how much Jacob rlly knows about his "work"?? 🤔

[quinloki]

Okay the whole franky thatch thing is funny but I gotta say

Imagine thatch gets given a speedo for his swim bottoms once and how fucking red he would be and just…. How nice of a view it would be >.>

Sounds like something izou or ace would plan tbh

I -

I can't believe I'm going to say this

I actually think Thatch wouldn't be embarrassed to wear the speedos. I think he's enough of a ham that he'd be out there flexing and just being a goof.

He'd be wildly comfortable with it.

His tendency to fluster requires flirting, or for the object of his affection to be in something skimpy.

But yeah, it's definitely Izou or Ace (for different reasons, granted) who got him the speedos. Ace because he *thought* it would fluster Thatch, Izou because he knew it wouldn't, but there's a part two to his plans.

And that's getting the reader to compliment Thatch while he's in that speedo.

"Wow, I'd ask what's cookin' good lookin', but I think you've already got it!" Sure it's a dorky thing to say, but you can't flirt with him directly or you'll both burst into flames and die. Still, the silly words go straight into Thatch and he's suddenly Super Aware of the fact that he's in about 3 yards of stretchy panties and nothing else.

You can see all his tattoos, scars, and uh - well, you can't help that head tilt, it's hard to say what's straining to stay inside the speed more, that deliciously round ass, or the hoagie he's got crammed into the front.

Izou smacks his brother square on the ass.

"Don't just stand there, Thatch, go have fun!"

There's no way he's going to give him an out to go change. Not in a million years. There's more parts to his plan, after all.

"Ah, little flower, come along for a moment won't you? We pitched in to get you a suit so you could swim too."

Two-piece, or one-piece, it won't matter. It's gonna have a bow or two, and some frills, and it's going to be the prettiest pastels Izou could find. Less sexy and alluring, and almost innocent - but boy oh boy is it going straight to Thatch's... ahem.... hoagie.

[bilbao-song]

ulterior motives: an unnecessarily elaborate guide & review

okay literally no one asked for this but here is my full synopsis of the ulterior motives album. i wish more secret time capsule-ish albums from past decades would be released so i can start doing this type of thing more often

🐬 disclaimer: i think only like two? three? people who follow me are (currently.....) interested in this as far as i'm aware. therefore it's going to be sooooo self indulgent and tbh partially just for my own satisfaction <3 but hopefully someone will find it useful/enjoyable/etc.!! also it's super long but like...idk it's a Review. also if ur interested but otherwise have no clue what this is about, i'm putting some useful links at the veeeery bottom :-)

🐠 relevant introductory notes: im not rlly a lostwave person actually. like as a concept i think it's very cool, but this is litcherally the only one i've come across that appeals to me thus far. i was somehow exposed to it like a year ago and went bananas bc i enjoy funky little 80s songs and i desperately wanted that song in particular. i think some people have kind of dismissed this as like, a ~tiktok thing~ and well <3 i don't care. tiktok didnt exist in the 80s but this music sure did. anyway i would urge you to ignore that entirely at this point and just enjoy the funky 80s bops no matter how they got here (actually that's like part of why i'm even making this post. consider this like...a guide. forget tiktok exists and learn to love this album full of 80s music w me)

🐬 preliminary assessment of vibes: half cute 80s synthpop and half things that make me want to pretend to be really elegant on a cruise ship somewhere between like 1987-1992, a period of time in which i was not alive but enjoy pretending i have some kind of experience with anyway. sometimes it kind of feels like music that someone would put over an old video of people walking around a mall, which is probably really appealing to a lot of people tbh. that seems to be a well-liked vibe recently. *not* an album to listen to if ur looking for something deep/poetically meaningful/super serious, 10000000% an album to listen to if u want something catchy/fun/zesty/poppy/very 80s!! it is very muchly unpretentious music for a good time

also may i just say that throughout this album there are like, random elements that remind me of like 68769376386896 different other artists who are varying degrees of wildly unrelated to this album. i mean like, there are brief moments that give me michael jackson vibes (tangentially related!), and every once in awhile something reminds me of frankie valli (??????????). that's only the tip of the iceberg tbh but if i made an exhaustive list i feel like it would just look like me listing off every third thing i have ever heard of. also a lot of people have made comparisons to wham! and i can definitely see why, soooo if that’s your type of thing!! ur in luck

anyway:

🐠 a track by track analysis & review:

to preface this: if ur skeptical...the sweet spot for me is like, tracks 8-11, and if you like those, try 4 as well. i like the album start to finish tbh, but if you just want a little sampling for now, i suggest starting with those. beyond that, upon putting this together i have noticed that you can kind of break this album into categories vibe-wise. tracks 1-4 seem like they wanted to be long lost singles, 5-7 = Vibing Music. smooth and pleasant sounds to have on in the background. not the sort of thing you’d probably sing along to but the vibes are immaculate. a calm moment before things get zesty again, 8-11 = back to back hits. cream of the crop. exquisite cuisine. all pretty upbeat and poppy and i genuinely cannot imagine not enjoying this at least a little. 12-13 = very nice closing tracks to put a neat bow on it <3

pink titles = my top recommendations (i'm trying to be selective here)

here is the full album on youtube and here it is on spotify. individual youtube links next to each song title :-)

#1 - chemistry - [x] - excellent choice as a first track bc the quality is very Crisp and it kind of encompasses both the whole 80s synthpop vibe and the smooth, kind of classy thing that a lot of these songs have going on. this one is very popular among those of us who have been eagerly waiting for this album to be released and it’s super nice to have a full version available now!! we had like a minute long sample of it there for awhile and i kept listening to a three minute looped version on youtube bc i was desperate. anyway!! there’s a LOT going on here. it flows well, is super catchy, and i really like it. would probably be fun to dance to if ur into that sort of thing

#2 - your guy - [x] - smooth and snazzy!! makes u want to light some candles. spoken portions in songs are always kind of funny to me for some reason but i can lean into the overall vibe and embrace it. very cute. one of my favorite things about it are the moments where the backing vocals are like, drastically deeper than the lead vocals (around 1:42ish). love that

#3 - ulterior motives - [x] - this one needs no introduction i guess lmao. tbh i feel like i still kind of need more time to absorb this version as compared to the old version — being entirely honest, if i pay very close attention, i CAN pinpoint a few little odd things going on with it quality-wise. idk what that's about (definitely doesn’t seem to be a skill issue lmao these guys know their shit) but it also doesn't ruin it for me or anything. i feel like a major part of the issue is just down to being sooo used to hearing one particular version. any difference good or bad is going to stand out. whatever, it’s still a delicious song (and there are pleeeeeenty of different cleaned up versions ripped from the movie to be found on youtube if anyone is just fully unsatisfied w this one)

#4 - man needs love - [x] - THIS is one of the best ones hands down. once again we are monologuing in the middle of a song but imo it works pretty well here. it feels veeeery of the era and i definitely feel like this could've been tremendously popular if not for the whole Never Got Released thing. it is super fun and catchy. if u came for the wham! comparisons this should be ur starting point

#5 - so in love - [x] - the beginning to this one is soooooooooo exquisite to me. my overall take on this one is that it's kind of...well. Vibing Music. like i would never choose or recommend this for karaoke night but it is excellent for having on in the background while you do basically anything else. smooth and snazzy yet again. definitely creates some kind of vibe. also i really like a lot of the vocals on this one

#6 - you turn me on - [x] - when i first saw the title i did not expect to enjoy this one quite so much, BUT it's actually pretty great.......visceral subject matter notwithstanding (that's just rlly not my thing usually but i think i'm the odd one out here so disregard this lmao). very chill vibes; kind of in a similar category to the previous track re: Vibing Music status. lots of interesting sounds and things, very very VERY of the era. importantly, it contains that instrument that i can only ever think of as "lizard noise thing" (apparently that's a vibraslap), and that appeals to me immensely.

#7 - rock me to sleep - [x] - more Vibing Music. initially i wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole whispering thing but i’ve concluded that they pull it off well. it reminds me of something but i really can’t place what it is — some kind of particularly funky and vibey 80s background music type of thing. late 80s/early 90s fashion show music!! for sure

#8 - think i'm gonna cry - [x] - back to the more upbeat vibes. another one of my favorites!! possibly THE favorite for me. seems a little underrated among fans thus far imo so allow me to champion it here. kind of similar vibe-wise to man needs love, so if u liked that one then you'll probably feel positively about this one too. definitely another one that should appeal to anyone for whom the wham! comparison sparks interest. i honestly think this is like...one of the best tracks. if i didn't know any better you could have easily convinced me that this was popular in its era bc the overall quality is there and it reeeeaaaaally has a poppy vibe that feels almost universally appealing. it feels like a fun song for summer. also pretty short in length, so v approachable to anyone feeling impatient <3

#9 - potion of emotion - [x] - another one that i thought i wouldn't be a huge fan of when i saw the title lmao but i was wrong!! i love the deeper vocals here and just ?? well. basically everything about it. not to bust out a technical term but i do just absolutely love the synthiness. there's something kind of satisfying about the lyrics...i mean they're not like, deep elaborate poetry lmao it just sounds neat from like, an auditory perspective. anyway, it’s smooth yet fun. i want to be hearing this on a cruise ship

#10 - one last look - [x] - deliciousss. i feel like this one is almost a sssslightly different flavor of 80s vibe but i have no idea how describe it. maybe ummm idk more pop-rock than just straight pop. feels pretty summer-y. very 80s classic rock-sounding guitar parts (delicious). if i had heard this on the radio at some point i would've wholly accepted it as just like. idk a normal popular 80s song i just never happened upon before (this applies to a Lot of these tbh)

#11 - nothing lasts forever - [x] - another solid favorite for me!!! suuuuuper catchy, has been stuck in my head for like three days!!!!!! i love it!!!!! fun horns!!!!!! idk what else to say but it's fun, upbeat, and ummmmmm. one of the best songs here imo

#12 - language of love - [x] - actually probably my least favorite, but it's still fine. from what i've seen it seems pretty popular though so who knows!! i feel like putting it second to last was a good idea because it does kind of seem like…idk, calming down after four very zesty ones in a row.

#13 - lie school - [x] - if u feel dissatisfied with the new ulterior motives, this is like...the next best thing. very similar vibes both in terms of theme and sound, but not in like, a repetitive way. i actually rlly like that it's the last track bc it kind of feels like sort of a callback to ulterior motives, and i looooooove when albums do that kind of thing. anyway i definitely feel that it’s a little……hmmm. idk the whole school thing is just such a highly specific theme and they really stick with it. but i like it >:-)

🐬 closing thoughts:

i just really really like it tbh. i hope i have converted at least a few people not only bc it's a worthy cause but also bc i spent literal hours spread across two days writing this. shoutout to christopher and philip booth, thank you for this whole entire album and also for inexplicably moving to my town in the midwestern usa despite being from the uk. idk why you did that but i think it's very cool and learning that information after a year of hoping somebody would find ulterior motives made me feel like i was living in some kind of weird dream. also. vinyl release when?? <3

additional links:

rolling stone article that pretty thoroughly explains what this is about

my tag where i've been putting relevant posts thus far

album on youtube

album on spotify

[for-a-longlongtime]

It's time for a fic poll! 🏳‍🌈 Tell me tell me tell me.

I'm super curious about this! I feel like a lot of people in my online circle here share a lot of opinions on this, but I'd love to know what people think overall. Hoping y'all are willing to spread this one around to get a broader reach!

(I just want to emphasize that any answer you give is fine and that no one can see how you vote. Totally not judging you for any response! As a matter of fact, if you do NOT read gay PP character fic, I'd really love for you to vote and represent. <3 I'm not running a poll because I want to target fic, I'll always keep writing what comes to me - but I just like getting an idea of what people think, because I'm a nosy person. 😘)

Thank you for voting! And please drop a comment if you want to elaborate!

[beanghostprincess]

Absolutely wild but I am obsessed with crack ships, specifically Buggy ones.

Like.

Franky and Buggy. Blue haired boyfriends. Luffy finds out his shipwright slept with THE CLOWN. his dad's EX?? I mean he likes Buggy well enough, sure, they Bonded in prison and Lu actually looks forward to the yearly fight to the death with his uncle, it's fun.

But FRANKY, WHY??? WHERE ARE YOUR STANDARDS???

"He's SUPERRRR."

"Oh okay, understandable."

<><><><>

Shanks, drunk and missing his ex: I just miss him so much, ya know?? Sometimes... sometimes I can still smell his perfume....

Benn, completely dead faced: oh yeah no that's me. He and I spent a lovely night together.

Shanks: >:0

Benn: you weren't lying about that mouth of his-

Shanks: WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME???

Benn: pretty boy knew what he wanted, man, what do you want from me-?

<><><><>

Buggy: oh I almost got bingo!

Alvida: what are you talking about

Buggy: this guard at Impel Down had this bingo card, so I took the idea and made it my own!

Alvida: .... this is a list of people to sleep with.

Buggy: Yeah! :oD

Alvida: ..... how did you manage so many of these without ever getting five in a row??

Buggy: skillz

Al: you're just a whore

Buggy: why would you @ me like that??? Rude!!!

<><><><>

Crocodile: the clown left his bingo card...

Mihawk: oh?

Croc: you know that if he slept with one of us, it would have given him three spaces?

Hawk: of course. I have been dropping subtle hints since the beginning.

Croc: you like his cringefail charm too?

Mihawk: my standards are abysmal. You know this.

Croc: .... yeah. Mine too. So we're seducing him?

Mihawk: of course we are.

<><><><>

Buggy: I think they're planning to kill me-

So what I'm hearing here is that Buggy is a slut and I absolutely love him. As he should, tbh. His failguy personality and loser clown energy with trauma and uncertain mood swings captivates all pirates.

[washy0uaway]

Kiss City Pt. 3

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!Reader Word Count: 1.6k Chapter Summary: Sweet baby fluffy Frankie watches over you as you get to know each other. Series Summary: The thing you expected least on what you swore was a day set out to be cursed by the universe, was Frankie. A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get another part up, and didn't really intend for this to be such a slow burn lol. Life has been, well.. life. Absolutely slammed at work and fighting some dumb health stuff, but I plan to carve more time out for these two more regularly. Cathartic for me tbh <3 Also a bonus that people have been enjoying this - thank you so much for sharing/liking/following! Series Masterlist | Part 2

*I'M ALSO STARTING A TAG LIST!* I haven't kept track of anyone that's already asked, but will going forward! Respond to a post or shoot me a message if you'd like to be added :) xx

---------------------------------------

After a short walk back to Frankie's truck (where he somehow managed to hold every door open for you without dropping your hand), you've agreed on tacos for dinner. Finding yourself in his passenger seat again, you glance at the clock to notice it's not even 1pm - hours until a suitable dinner time you think to yourself.

After he closes the drivers side door and starts the truck, he once again hands you his phone for you to enter your home address this time and you're off (Fleetwood Mac now playing over the stereo).

You fall into a comfortable silence the first few minutes, and Frankie thinks he's subtle as he steals glances at you each time he looks to take a turn or check his mirror. Not subtle at all, but cute nonetheless.

"Can I ask you a question?" he finally breaks the silence first. "Of course" you offer. "How did you know I'm not a creep? Back in the lobby, I said I'm not a creep and you said, 'I know,'"

Your laugh is the hardest he's heard yet, and though he's smiling next to you, he asks again.

"I'm serious!" he half jokingly exclaims. "I'm sorry, that's just not the question I was expecting. I don't know, you..." your voice trails off as you've looked up at him and your gazes lock again, now stopped at a red light. A soft sigh escapes your lips and you offer him a sweet, slight smile.

"You just seem like a good person," you continue and he almost scoffs. "Now I'M serious!" you insist, "I have to admit I was pretty pissed before I met you earlier, but you've gone out of your way to make up for it and make sure I'm okay - you've taken care of me."

He shrugs and turns back to focus on the road as the light turns green and tries to play it off. "Can't have you dyin' on me is all, wouldn't look good on my record you know?"

"Of course," you agree. "Can't have me dyin' on you."

The remainder of the drive is pretty quiet, and when you pull into your driveway and unbuckle your seat belt, Frankie is somehow already out of the truck and rushing to open your door for you. You try to protest and insist that you're not entirely useless, and he tells you the same thing he told you as he carried you inside your office building.

"Maybe I want to."

You can't argue with that, so instead take his hand as he helps you out of the truck. You only let go to dig in your cluttered tote bag for your keys. After unlocking the door and letting him follow behind you, you drop your bag and keys to immediately take your shoes off and let out a long sigh.

"How ya doing over there, champ?" Frankie asks as he closes your front door behind him.

"Honestly, exhausted. I don't really know what the plan for the afternoon is but I could use some serious couch time. We could put on a movie?"

"That sounds great, and probably exactly what you need right now."

You point him in the direction of your living room and explain you're going to throw on some sweats and grab you both something to drink, telling him to "Make yourself comfortable."

... which he definitely hasn't done when you walk into your living room, setting two glasses of water on the coffee table. His back is to you as he studies your walls intently. Photos of you as a kid (with people he imagines would be sisters or cousins), posters from concerts, bizarre art prints, all adorn your walls. But your bookcase is what he zeroes in on, as he's completely oblivious to the fact that you're making yourself comfortable on your couch behind him.

There's a range from classics like Dracula or Pride & Prejudice, to biographies of people he's never even heard of, then histories of music genres, and more - all sorted alphabetically in an almost overflowing book shelf.

A meow breaks his focus and he turns to see you sitting cross legged on your couch in lounge shorts and a comfy crop top as your cat, Beans, hops up to join you.

"Having fun?" you ask, after introducing your pet. "Yeah, sorry, you .. you uh, can tell a lot about a person by their books, is all." "Yeah?" you prod, "what did you learn about me?"

You'd propped an elbow on your bare knee, resting your chin on your fist looking up at him, wide eyed and almost sultry. This time, its your gaze that almost melts him, and he has to force his jaw shut before continuing the conversation.

"Well, you obviously read a lot," in a few steps he's sitting down next to you, Beans on your opposite side.

"Which I like in a person," he continues. "But most of your books are about things I know nothing about. I mean, an auto biography of J.M. Barrie? Who the fuck is J.M. Barrie?"

Your laugh startles Beans, who hops off the couch and saunters off in search of his food dish. Frankie makes a mental note that he wants to do that more often - make you laugh.

"He wrote Peter Pan, Frankie! You've never heard of him?" "Okay, don't hate me, I fully would have guessed that Walt Disney wrote Peter Pan."

You tsk and playfully shake your head, "Maybe you need to borrow the book then," giving him a side eye that nearly knocks him out.

"Gladly," he agrees, and you reach for the remote to put on a movie.

"What are you in the mood for?" you ask as you mindlessly start scrolling through streaming apps.

"Whatever you want, I'm just here to keep you company. What's your go-to comfort movie?" he suggests, and a near devious grin spreads across your face.

Knowing already exactly which app to find it on, you pull up the first, original Nightmare on Elm Street.

"THIS is your comfort movie?" He shifts his legs and body toward you in disbelief, pointing at the screen.

"Yup." you smack your lips as you say it, smiling up at him with pride. "Fall asleep to it most nights."

"You fall asleep to Nightmare on Elm Street?"

"Sure do! Hey, you're the one that told me to put it on."

A chuckle escapes him as he settles into the couch, draping his arm to rest loosely on the top of the couch behind you.

"I'm not complaining, you're just full of surprises, hermosa." You blush at the term, pressing play on the movie. "I like it though," he admits, now focusing on the TV in front of him.

"Yeah, yeah, just watch the movie, Morales." You kid, as you drape the blanket that had followed you to the couch over both of your legs.

Frankie decides a few minutes in, he'd rather watch you watch the movie. You're animated, talking along with the lines as characters say them, having clearly seen it countless times.

Stealing gazes at you periodically, he brings his arm resting on the couch down into his lap. He doesn't trust himself to not fully wrap his arm around you, and though he doesn't think he's misreading you, doesn't want to make you uncomfortable.

After letting out a long yawn though, you sleepily lean over and rest your head on his shoulder, eyes heavy.

He doesn't turn his head to look down, but you feel his eyes on your sleepy face.

"Is this okay?" you ask, lazily turning your head and looking up at him from beneath your lashes.

"Of course," he promises, face now only inches from yours.

You might have been nervous if you weren't so exhausted, but you quickly drift to sleep.

If you knew he was sitting next to trying not to freak out, biting his knuckles, you definitely would have been nervous. You began leaning more of your weight onto him as you fell into a deeper sleep and before he knew it, you were curled up at his side with your head in his lap and his arm draped over your waist.

Time passed quickly and it was safe to say, Frankie was focusing on anything but the movie. The credits began to roll and he hadn't even noticed until you started to slowly blink your eyes open.

"Is it over already?" your sleep stained voice asked, shifting on the couch to look up, your head still in his lap.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Frankie reached down to brush a stray hair out of your face and the look in his eyes made your heart jump.

He'd softened quite a bit over the short time you'd known him, but this look was different. Endearing, like he was in awe of you.

You had leaned your head into his hand as he brushed the hair out of your face and made eye contact with him.

The look you shared was telling - like you had an entire conversation in a glance. Both of you had agreed with this look, "you fascinate me, I can't believe I met you today," and "there's no where else I'd rather be than on this couch with you, and it scares me shitless how attracted I am to you already." All unspoken, but mutually understood, somehow.

You laid for a moment, head in his lap, cradled by his hand, not breaking eye contact.

"You wanna watch the second one?" you ask, gaze and tone still serious.

He really laughs this time, and you're grinning when he looks back down.

"Sure I do, sweetheart." Knowing goddamn well he'll still be watching you instead, he grabs the remote.

[princeoftheeternalbog]

Would op boys catch you if you fell? Lets find out next time on dragonball- no sorry it just reminded me of that narrator ANYWAYS.

I only did boys because i didnt have much inspi for Nami and Robin so i decided to wait until i do cos I don't wanna half arse stuff.

So anyways I feel like I saw someone do this idea already but it might've been just one character like a law x reader? I'm not sure but I would love to tag them so if you know please tell me ! I will also try to make sure mine is different :p.

Luffy

Depends. Like if he's fighting or eating then probably not but if he thinks you might get hurt then he will 100% attempt to catch you. Key word being attempt. Poor boy probably makes the fall 10x worse, like if you trip on one step you're suddenly falling down the entire flight of stairs with a weight on top of you. He will apologise though so at least there's that.

Zoro

He always catches you. Or prevents the fall in the first place. He tells himself it's so you're not unnecessarily out of commission for a fight but really he's a huge softie. Though he always catches you really ungracefully, llike there’s no princess carrying here, he's holding you upside down by the ankle with one hand fr. He scolds you every time too like- "Why do you never watch where you're going" or "Tie your shoes next time idiot", which you should hear as "I can't stand watching you get hurt". Cutie:(

Sanji

Oh you know he does. He lives for romance and what's more romantic than saving your beloved from certain doom (tripping on a rock). Oh he also does it in the most dramatic way possible, he'd rather throw himself to the ground underneath you then let you hit the floor, he's doing twirls, picking you up with one arm, occasionally will throw you in the air first so he can rearrange what he's holding. Menace tbh, like he's just obsessed with teasing you in any way possible.

Usopp

Another one who tries his best…tries🙁. He's always so dramatic about it too, he literally screams your name like you're in a horror movie and everyone is always like "WHAT'S WRONG?!" and Usopps just "Oh they tripped on a step". He either injures one of you in his attempt to catch you OR you both end up in the most compromising positions just as someone walks past . He goes so red trying to explain the situation while also trying to check if youre okay😭.

Franky

Oh every time and it’s smooth as hell every single time. Says super cheesy lines every time like “OWWWW GUESS YOU FELL FOR ME BABE”, and he gets sparkly eyed every time, he loves romance as a genre and finds it superrrrrrrr(😚) cute when something happens that matches a trope he's read. If he didn't catch you he'd probably panic and constantly apologise but just give him a kiss and he'll forget about it soon enough.

Brook

Catches you every time, really gently and really romantically. Instead of just full on catching you, he'll purposefully slow your momentum to minimise injuries in case his attempt at grabbing you fails because then you'd both fall and he'd rather not. Like if you trip into him then he'll pull you both into a delicate spin type of dancing and you're like huh??? He thinks its a really cute trait to be honest but it also makes him really worried about your safety so he likes to keep one hand on you at all times.

Jinbei

Catches you as often as he can, like he won't sprint across the ship to stop you from falling but as long as you're in his reach you will never hit the ground. And he always catches you really gently like you barely feel the impact so sometimes you won't even notice you've tripped until later when you see the scuff on your shoe or something. He really likes holding your hand to make sure you ‘keep your balance’.

Law

He doesn't want to look soft so he tries to force himself not to catch you for just harmless falls...yeah no that doesn't work. As soon as he sees you losing balance you hear that ever familiar room, shambles and then you're in his arms. If it's later in your relationship then he's a menace, he will use this to tease you, like "Oh. Looks like an angel fell into my arms" with this stupid ass smug smirk. He's just really obsessed with you.

Kidd

Catches you most of the time unless it's gonna be really funny. Also he catches you super awkwardly, like he's so obsessed with you but he never knows where to put his hands because hes not used to giving affection so it's like just in the most ungraceful ways. You are literally being held up by his arm around your thigh or something and you're like what the fuck and he's just stood there 🧍🏻‍♀️.

Killer

Prevents the tripping and catches you if necessary. But if you're too clumsy then he just starts getting huffy and hauls you up into his arms so there's no risk of you falling whatsover...and then you bang your head against the ceiling- He probably feels so bad if you get hurt because of him to be honest, he tries so hard to make you happy yk. Anyways at some point he just starts adding cushion to all the potentially harmful areas on the ship so even if you do fall it doesn't hurt.

[perotovar]

twenty questions for fic writers 💖

tagged by @kedsandtubesocks and @nerdieforpedro thank you, loves! ♥

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

technically 4 lol i'm slowly moving my stuff over there. i barely get any traction there compared to tumblr so it's sort of just there in case anyone prefers that format. i like the community i've built over here so i'm not worried about it!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

apparently 60,272 which is WILD

3. What fandoms do you write for?

the pedro pascal cinematic universe! i've thought about branching out into the bg3 fandom or possibly a couple other games, but the inspiration is with the pedro boys rn ♥

4. Top five fics by kudos

i'll go with the highest number of notes on here i suppose??

baby i'm-a want you (joel x javier p)

into the beat of the night (frankie x oc!river price)

bloody kisses (shane morrissey x tim rockford)

ásjá (pero tovar x ofc!helga)

rebirth (javi g x reader)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i've been really bad about it, but yeah, i certainly try to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ch1 of bloody kisses ends pretty angsty, but it's got nothing on given to fly, my joel x tess drabble (which i don't think a lot of people even know i wrote lmao)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i can tell you right now, itbotn will have a happy ending :)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i don't think i write the popular boys enough for that. and most of my stuff is queer, which has a smaller audience. so, fingers crossed, no not yet

9. Do you write smut?

yep

10. Craziest crossover?

i feel like putting one of the characters in a macho man heist movie into a goth club was a pretty insane crossover lol but probably bloody kisses, too, because it's between a criminal and a detective. who says opposites don't attract? 😉

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of omfg

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but that would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah, me and @chronically-ghosted work on bloody kisses together! her contribution is my favorite chapter so far, definitely

14. All time favorite ship?

joel/tess has been one of my absolute favorites for years. halsin/astarion is a very close second <3

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i really wanna write the metal!pero and metal!ezra fic but i'm not sure i'll figure out the plot for it sdflkghjdg they're messing with me a lot

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i'm good at dialogue? banter?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

interesting descriptions. describing a mood/atmosphere is fucking hard and idk how y'all do it lol

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i think it's cool! i wish i spoke spanish better than my beginniner duolingo ass can so i can use it more often, but yeah lol

19. First fandom you wrote in?

it was for a band lmao like 10 years ago. i wrote like 2 smutty oneshots and have promptly deleted them off the internet

20. Favorite fic you've written?

god, that's an evil question! tbh it might be a tie between itbotn and bloody kisses. those are my babies and i'm super proud of the universes i created with them!

np tags: @ezrasbirdie @sp00kymulderr @qveerthe0ry @for-a-longlongtime

@goodwithcheese @missredherring @marisferasiop @swiftispunk @mrsmando

@ghostofaboy and anyone else that wants to ♥

[chvoswxtch]

Hello my love! I love the way you write Frank (AND Matt, but im in a Frank mood tonight). I’m not sure if you’re taking requests rn, but if you are, I love to submit one!! Tbh I’m so sick of how douchey guys are these days on apps, and the “oh you just wanted a free meal” behavior and dating rn is the fucking worst. What’s your take on a situation where you’re friends with Frank and you complain about how badly men behave these days, and he offers to take you on a real date and treat you right? Bc I could use a Frank to rescue me and treat me right rn 😫

hello my darling! thank you so much, omg. you're too kind🥺

ok first of all when I say you are PREACHING to the damn CHOIR !!! I tried a few dating apps and I loathed every single one of them. straight up was not having a good time. it was an absolute travesty, so I feel for you so hard right now angel.

this is my first time doing a headcannon so this is super exciting and i'm happy we get to do this together!! because you absolutely DESERVE a frankie to rescue you and treat you right because you are a goddamn CATCH you are a GLOWING GODDESS and anyone should be so heckin LUCKY as to go on a date with you ❤️

headcannon is going to be below the cut bc y'all know I get carried away, especially with my baby frankie

frank castle & dating apps

first things first: frank castle is very old fashioned, so the idea of a dating app probably not only confuses the fuck out of him but also makes him grimace. like the man without a doubt hates texting, preferring an actual phone call instead, and most likely comes up with a million different threats to your security and worst case scenarios when you teach him about online dating

"don't you wanna meet someone the old fashioned way? how can you tell they're not a complete asshole just by a picture and a few words? what if they ain't who they say they are? you still got that knife I gave ya?"

frank already made you share your location with him a long time ago for safety reasons but now makes you text him the address of wherever it is you're going on these "dates" as well as check in with him every hour

he would probably be adamant about coming with you and sitting in a corner somewhere so he could keep an eye on you but you quickly shot that down bc it's frank and he's very hard to miss and you would have a hard time explaining to your date why that big guy across the room looks like he's seconds away from committing murder (you know exactly which look i'm talking about)

frank requests you send him a picture of whatever guy you're meeting just in case he needs to hunt him down find him if you don't check in or something happens, and never hesitates to offer a look of utter disdain and merciless judgment when you finally send it

"really? you're goin' on a date with this? the options on them apps that goddamn bad, sweetheart?"

frank is extremely shameless in verbally eviscerating every single guy you show him or tell him about and never misses an opportunity to make his opinions known

one night you storm into his apartment without knocking (a common occurrence he's finally gotten used to) and plop down next to him on the couch with a glass a wine (he made a mental note to keep the kind you like on hand at all times) and start to vent about your latest disaster date

the guy made you drive nearly an hour out of your way to meet him at a sketchy dive bar, spent the whole night talking about himself and cutting you off every time you spoke, and then had the AUDACITY to ask you to cover the tab because he "forgot" his wallet at home (this actually happened to me once)

frank can't take it anymore. this online dating thing has been going on for months and every time you vent to him about these assholes, it gets harder and harder for him to control his feelings for you because he's supposed to be your friend and the guys you've been going out with look nothing like him and as much as he wants to be with you, he's scared to ruin the one good thing he has. so, frank hatches a plan

"alright, I can't take this shit anymore. don't make plans friday night. we're goin' out."

he says it so nonchalantly, you almost don't catch what he means. you splutter out your wine, staring over at frank because there's no way he just asked you out on a date??? frank catches your look and offers a timid smile, reaching over to squeeze your knee gently

"relax. i'm just gonna show you what a real date should be like. you've been on so many shitty ones, I don't even know if you know what a good one is. let me help you raise your standards a bit."

let me tell you something, frank castle knows a thing or two about romance. this man goes ALL OUT. picking you up at your door (on time, early even), flowers in hand (your favorites bc he actually listens when you talk), is the most dressed up you've ever seen him (it's a dress shirt and jeans but he's usually covered in blood so), opens all the doors for you and pulls out your chair, takes you to a restaurant he knew you would love bc he knows your favorite dish & dessert, spends the whole night asking you questions about things he's always wanted to know about you, makes you laugh with silly jokes and stories, and tells you several times throughout the night how beautiful he thinks you look

you've always had a crush on frank (how could you not honestly) so you were a nervous wreck about the whole thing and what it meant for your friendship and if he was just doing this to be nice because he felt sorry for you or if he actually liked you back

but the date is not only the best one you've ever been on but also the easiest because it's frank and he's your best friend and you've never felt more comfortable or at ease with someone and when the check comes it makes your heart sink because you never want this date to end, even if it isn't real

the entire walk back to your apartment there's a palpable nervous energy between the two of you and his hands are in his pockets but you desperately wish they were holding yours and when you stop at your door there's a million thoughts racing through your head that you wanna say but the look in frank's eyes steals the oxygen straight out of your lungs

"listen I uh...know I said this was just to show you how a real date should be and what not, and I did mean that but...I really just wanted to show you how you should be treated ya'know. how...how I would treat you, if you'd let me. i'd give you the goddamn world if you asked, sweetheart. I don't know if I read tonight wrong, but I know I could be the right man for you, and I think you know that too. at least, I hope you do. there's nothin' I wouldn't do for you, honey. I understand if you don't feel the same way-"

you don't even let frank finish that sentence before you're dragging him down by his collar and crashing your lips together because holy shit frank, your frank, wants you just as much as you want him

needless to say you invite him up and show him just how much you want him despite his weak attempt at trying to continue to be a gentleman

"sweetheart, we can take it slow. I don't mind-" "frank I swear to god if you don't take your pants off right now, i'm never kissing you again." "yes ma'am."