#fps.... my weak point...

[prismit]

tried the ultrakill demo...

bad at it </3

[thesaintelectric]

idgaf if starfield npcs look a lil goofy bethesda not forcing themselves into 1000% realistic next gen visuals is good other companies should do the same

[champbot]

B33 < finalllyyyy finished my beta troll headcaon lineup!! furst things furst, my ask box is open for Beta troll + kids drawing requests!! I need to purractice drawing the sillies

alsooo feel like mentioning, these hc’s are for the early half of the game - I am gonna draw their adult + post game looks because thoseee headcanons are different

like for example!! I hc aradia gaining a lot of weight after no longer inhabiting her robo bod! Eridan being able to express their gender identity in the dream bubbles!

Tbf the art is sort of old, and I already want to update my designs but whatevs

Hcs under the cut…. B33

Here’s my personal headcanons, don’t start shit, if you don’t like, you can make ur own post with ur own hcs BDD

Aradia Medigo - transfem aroace spec

~ Struggles with persistent depression but is recovering slowly

~ Puts on weight after the game

~ ASD

Tavros Nitram - transmasc polysexual

~ bulks up during the game!

~ Legs are prosthetics, he still uses their chair on rougher days

~ anxiety and ptsd, struggles with unhealthy attachments (clearly)

Sollux Captor - nonbinary pan

~ Also ASD + Bipolar

~ Acne scars!!

~ Lisp is from crooked teeth

Karkat Vantas - Nonbinary he/himmer, poly with masc pref

~ Super repressed about gender during the game, Jegbert helps with coming to terms with things

~ Anger issues as a response to traumatic living conditions on alternia

~ Adult him is very fat and hairy :)

Nepeta Leijon - transmasc trixic

~ Comes out during the game

~ ASD and ADHD, cannot mask well

~ Looks tiny and weak but could bench press you (cuz its funny)

Kanaya Maryam - femby lesbian (she wears binders :o

~ total vegan till she goes rainbowdrinker

~ binds regularly, prefers a flat silhouette

~ gender + sexuality relationship is unique due to pansexual being the societies default

Terezi Pyrope - Transfem queer

~ does not shave, ever under any circumstances

~ OCD, has a lotttt of rituals

~ transed her gender pre game due to flarping

Vriska Serket - Transfem lesbian

~ ASPD, doing treatment, symptoms lesson as she gets older

~ has severe scarring on her left side, when she is younger she hides scarring via makeup and long clothes cuz teenage insecurity she grows out of

~ same as terezi, flarping helped her come out, terezi and her are very close cuz of this similarity

Equius Zahhak - Agender asexual

~ hypersexual and sex repulsed

~ ASD, also bad at masking, hence why meowrails get along so well

~ has hyperhydrosis

Gamzee Makara - nonbinary ??????

~ bpd, he tends to split on people accidentally, Karkat is his fp :)

~ disassociates often, memory is poor and has slow processing because his thoughts always feel crowding

~ his abuse of sopor pies is a coping mechanism, helps with his sensory issues

Eridan Ampora - Genderfluid pan

~ definitely was a really obnoxious femboy at one point before coming out

~ a lot of their incel-ness comes from repressing their gender

~ ASD, really bad at reading other people

Feferi Peixes - demigirl pan

~ if kanaya is alternia goth, then Fef definitely is, big into counterculture

~ ASD, hyperempath, way too good at masking except for when she’s overtly excited

~ is a vegan, feels incredibly guilty for feeding her lusus

Anyways…. If you read all that congrats lollll

[genericpuff]

The Mishandling of LO’s S3 Mi(n)season Hiatus - Part 3 1/2

Here we go, Part 3 of my analysis of the current FP episodes - a three-parter episode set leading up to the midseason finale of LO.

Part 1

Part 2

Truth is, I had actually forgotten a lot of the weird (and very stupid) shit that happened in this episode, that I thought Episodes 251 and 252 had already offered up the worst that this three parter set could dish out. Boy, was I wrong, because when I went back to check out Episode 253, I was reminded of a reality that my brain had wiped out in an attempt to protect my withering psyche-

I also forgot just how long this episode is. It's so long that I frankly can't even fit it all into this post, so this is gonna be part 3 1/2.

Anyways, let's just get on with it. This is the final stop on our trip into absolute nonsense.

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 3 OF A 3 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

Well, it's the midseason finale, and what better way to open it up than with the final title card-

Typo and all. It wouldn't be an LO episode without one. Granted, IIRC this typo has been edited out, but the version of the screenshots I have from it feature it in all its original unedited glory. So enjoy that.

And yes, just like the last two times, the title itself only applies to the final cliffhanger, which is an absolute doozy especially for those who were there to experience it in real time.

This is already a bit of a wild opening compared to the last two episodes, but it's quickly revealed that this is laying the foundation for the prophecy that Psyche gave to Apollo back in Episode 252. In true LO fashion, the story can't actually be linear in any regard, we're always segmented from pieces of information at a time. Loyal fans will call this a "writing style", I call it Rachel just trying to get another 70 cents out of me.

That said, I will say the art here is fairly decent, but I think that just goes to show that LO's one of worst features these days - ironically enough - is its coloring. What began as its strongest feature has now become one of its biggest weaknesses due to the sheer laziness in its rendering and the colors become more and more saturated into the grotesque over time. So at this point, you pretty much have to rob these characters of their colors to make them look decent, and of course at that point it just further highlights Rachel's same-face problems. She definitely tried to make them look distinguishable here, at least, with Hestia and Poseidon being the most unique.

Now, this isn't the first time that we've heard of this herb being referenced - it was stated by Hades that Hera was the one to originally poison Kronos with the herb after gaining his trust - but to see it suddenly just pop up and play a role again out of nowhere already gives me a bad feeling in my stomach. It feels like yet another plot device - especially when presented in this type of format - that Rachel is suddenly using to try and seem "unique" in her writing, much like the strange narration we got back during the "Run For Your Life" sequence. It's just once again LO lacking any specific identity, it's always trying to be a million other things at once.

I will say, much of this in and of itself is panel filler. Why? Because the location of the herb doesn't matter. You'll see what I mean in a moment, but the mentioning of Anthedon plays no role here, it's just yet another obligatory "see, I know how to Google things!" lip service moment from Rachel "self-proclaimed folklorist" Smythe.

Anyways, Eros is perplexed by this but Psyche immediately catches on, knowing right away that Apollo is going for Zeus. And this is where we get yet another one of the dumbest sequences in this comic.

(see what I mean that the location of the herb doesn't matter? Because Apollo already got it and laced it into the cupcake).

Now, first of all, the fact that Eros and Psyche believe Kassandra's prophecy is already hilarious in and of itself, because ... well, because it literally defeats the point of her establishing it as a curse in the previous episode. Unless it only works on mortals? It never stated as such, so we literally just have to go with it and pretend not to notice that.

But most of all, of course LO had to play this off as some joke. Like, "hahaha how awkward! I've already eaten the cupcake!" and he still doesn't seem to really be in shock. Zeus has seen what this herb has done to gods before him, and yet his reaction to this is akin to a dad getting upset that he stepped LEGO's that he asked his kid 20 times to pick up off the floor. The whole "record scratch" style formatting of this followed by Zeus' lack of reaction just really makes me not care about any of this, because clearly the story doesn't care either.

But we don't see who he makes these calls to because the comic, of course, can't spend any longer than 10 panels on a single scene, so we cut to Hades and Persephone.

Again, I don't know what the point was of having Hera relay this information to Persephone for her to relay to Hades, aside from the fact that Rachel needed to act smart with Therapy Speak that didn't even apply to Hera's situation (as we talked about in the last part). They gotta make Persephone the center of everyone's world though, so it's Persephone who's delivering this info and trying to come up with the solution.

Hades, though, wants to focus on his wife's birthday the commemoration of spring.

SIR. THE WOMAN YOU WERE IN AN AFFAIR WITH SINCE BEFORE YOUR WIFE WAS BORN IS CURRENTLY GRAPPLING WITH YOUR FATHER WHO ABUSED HER AND IS NOW HAUNTING HER. THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR FLUFFY ROMANCE TIME. THERE IS A CHILD BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN TARTARUS AND LITERALLY NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE.

Anyways, apparently (for some reason) Hades is the one who has to go meet Demeter out front. Even though Hades has literally NOTHING to do with this ceremony, it's not his domain, but Persephone literally says "yep, that's correct" when he asks if he needs to go out to meet Demeter.

This just feels like such a pointless conversation and I don't get what the point of this exact exchange is. Again, this isn't Hades' domain, so I don't see why he needs to be the one to go meet with Demeter.

But then, of course, to make matters worse, this man has the absolute audacity to pretend like he's never done anything wrong to Demeter. As if she should be obligated to be cool with sharing a bench with this man who literally terrorized her for years and then essentially groomed her daughter.

I hate him so fucking much and I can't believe we're supposed to be rooting for him. He has not undergone ANY of the character development necessary for me to want to care about him.

Anyways, Hades has a seat with Demeter, and the conversation is very brief before Hades says that he has a gift for her. And what is it, exactly?

Oh great, Hades. Sure wish you would have had this consideration hundreds of years ago. I fail to see what good this does for her now because it doesn't change the fact that he still cost her the role of Queen of the Mortal Realm and treated her like shit for hundreds of years. This comes across as such a shallow and empty "apology" because it's barely even a "gift", rather something she was OWED back then that he didn't want to hand over for his own selfish reasons. He still comes out the winner here because he's gotten to spend thousands of years being a rich slave-driving oligarch while Demeter has had to maintain the Mortal Realm on her own even without the glory of having a title.

I especially detest this "twist" because it's less of a twist and Rachel finally accepting the fact she couldn't come up with anything better than what her fans had to come up with for her. If this had been the fact the whole time, we would have seen it established back when we first got those flashbacks showing Hades being a total prick to her over the volcanoes. Instead, Rachel dragged it out for weeks and weeks until finally dumping this "twist" that her fans had been talking about all that time. This is yet another one of those "Rachel used her fanbase to come up with her ideas" moments. I know that that seems a little mean and presumptuous, but the fact of the matter is that the writing in this story is such an absolute mess that you just know Rachel's writing by the seat of her pants and has to rely on her audience's headcanons to actually fill in the gaps of her story. Most of the time when people commend her for the "great storytelling" in LO, what they're referring to are things they came up with entirely on their own because of how easy it is to just make assumptions about LO's storyline. Rachel benefits off the story being as vague as possible because then her fanbase will fill in the gaps with their own assumptions and give her all the credit for an idea they came up with.

By the way, to the "self-proclaimed folklorist" who wrote this, the volcanoes were really just entrances into the Underworld. Hades did not own them. They were owned by Hephaestus. And I would argue that the volcanoes were only seen as "entrances" into the Underworld because, fun fact - if you jump into a volcano, you die!

Hades frames his reasoning as feeling like Demeter was pushing him out of the Mortal Realm, but this makes no sense because none of that is on her. He claims that he felt like an "outsider" but the reality is that he made himself that way. He resigned himself to being King of the Underworld, he ate the pomegranate and made the deal with Erebus, and even he stated that he could still actually leave the Underworld, just not for long periods of time. So he was the only one keeping himself away from the Mortal Realm, not Demeter. We even see that in the VHS tape flashbacks where Hades stumbles onto Demeter's property and she lets him sleep it off in her home. So this whole sob story about how he felt "pushed out" by Demeter is such a bad take from someone who's routinely known to make himself out to be the victim. Because Hades can't have an actual reputation for a reason, no, this is a "retelling" told by someone who got all their Greek myth info off Tumblr circa 2016 and the front page of Google, so Hades has to be the misunderstood uwu sad underdog. Even though he routinely does things that reinforce the reputation he has within the comic, like being a slave driver, abusing lower class nymphs, and grooming teenagers.

Minthe showing up for a split second in the background is the best this comic has been since S2. We stan our girl Minthe, fucking run girl, do what Persephone couldn't do. She's the real hero of this story (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

And honestly, I'm sorry, but Demeter really SHOULDN'T be taking the high ground on this. She has more than enough reason to be upset. For a comic that tries to celebrate feminism and holding abusive men accountable, it sure is willing to make the women - often victims of the men - the real villains who have to "do better". Except for Persephone of course. Persephone is married into the system now, she doesn't have to "do better", she's a "boss babe" for being abusive and petty and undeserving of her status because she's the self-insert Y/N character.

So the ceremony for commencing Spring begins. I gotta say, for the final major scene of the mi(n)season finale, the art is severely underwhelming. You can really tell the difference between S3 and S1 art here, there's barely anything extra done to make this scene even half as impactful as the most basic of scenes from S1.

Like, it's fine, but it still feels so half-baked and rushed to attempt to replicate the kind of art that's been gone from the series for years now. The full sequence itself is actually quite lengthy, with a lot of nymph hands just moving around and playing instruments, but it's about as bland as any other panel, so it makes the sequence itself feel dragged out and boring.

This is about as pretty as the sequence gets and it's still not even as good as the original Dread Queen transformation. There's barely any rendering in the skin, and they couldn't even be bothered to make the hands look normal. It's like it's trying so hard to be "original LO" but is fundamentally missing the point of what made the original LO so captivating.

But oh noooo, looks like Persephone did a bad!

Are they actually gonna give her some kind of flaw? Are we gonna FINALLY gonna find out what she traded to Erebus?

No. We're just gonna make her the cause of winter.

Spaghettios.

And that's where I'm leaving this review for now because, as mentioned in the beginning, this episode is a LOT longer than I remember it being. There's still a whole ass segment with Apollo that we need to cover and I don't want to leave it out but I also don't want to do it entirely in text format and I've hit that pesky image limit. So I'll be posting that second part as soon as I can!

That said, I really can't stand this "subversion" by making Persephone the reason for winter.

First of all, because this is a common problem in a lot of H x P "retellings", as many of them fundamentally miss the point of why Persephone is the "Goddess of Spring".

Persephone was not born the "Goddess of Spring". She was born Kore (Κόρη), a maiden born from Demeter. It wasn't until after she was taken by Hades that Demeter, in her grief, took away the harvest and created winter. It was the return of Persephone every six months that brought about the spring, hence, she earned the name, "Goddess of Spring". What these retellings COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTAND is that the gods aren't 'born' with their titles, they're granted these titles by the mortals who comprehend them and write of them as harbingers of their respective elements, stories, and messages. Zeus wasn't "born" the God of the Sky and Heavens, he was granted that title after he overthrew Kronos and took the Heavens for himself. Hades wasn't "born" the God of the Underworld and the Dead, he was granted that title after he became the ruler of the domain of death.

Where these retellings really fuck up is constantly trying to "subvert" the H x P myth in an attempt to romanticize it, thus undoing the point of why Persephone is called "The Goddess of Spring". A Touch of Darkness also made this mistake by putting a "twist" on Persephone's character by having her start out as someone who couldn't make things grow. But if she sucks at making things grow, then why is she still referred to as The Goddess of Spring? In LO, Hades is referred to as "Grandpa Winter" and the seasons already seem to exist as we saw in this episode through the ceremony, so why has she been called "The Goddess of Spring" this whole time?

But I also can't stand this "subversion" because it fundamentally misunderstands the very myth it's trying to "retell". By giving Persephone the "curse" of creating winter, it further robs Demeter of her own agency in this story, more than it already has. It wasn't enough to make Demeter a helicopter mom, it wasn't enough to drive an actual rift between her and her daughter, they had to take away Demeter's entire role in the story and the creation of the seasons and give it to Persephone.

And this is, surprisingly enough, NOT the first time the comic has done this. There are many traits associated with different gods that have been given to Persephone and Hades. The volcanoes belong to Hades rather than Hephaestus, Persephone is "more beautiful than Aphrodite", Thanatos' and Psyche's butterfly symbolism is given to both Hades and Persephone, Aphrodite's symbolism of roses is given to Persephone, the list goes on. Every single plotline has to involve Persephone as the hero, and every single attribute that's commonly associated with other gods has to be granted to H x P in some way to make them better and more interesting than every other cast member in the comic, and yet they still come across as vapid and boring protagonists with nothing to show for themselves.

So to give the ONE thing from the source material that made LO what it is, it comes across as so unbearably cruel.

But then again, we should have seen this coming. After all, Rachel does not cite this as a retelling of The Hymn to Demeter. She simply refers to it as its more unofficial name: The Taking of Persephone.

Look, I get it, the story is meant to be told from Persephone's POV (or at least through the lens of her being the main character) so I can understand why Rachel may have chosen to reword this to make it more clear. But it's really depressing that she went to such an extent with making it about Persephone that she had to rob one of the most integral character of her moment and retribution. Especially when one of the only books in her cited "research" that's primarily about Persephone is, shocked, The Hymn to Demeter, which is listed at the very bottom of every "research" list you can find in LO's history.

LO should have just stayed as self-indulgent fluff. This isn't "subversion", this isn't a "twist", it's just yet another item on the list of making Persephone the most Important One of all. Even when it attempts to be a 'flaw', it fails tremendously by acting as yet another aspect of her being a Mary Sue, because her 'flaw' has come at the cost of another character's story, identity, and strengths. What was originally a tale of grief, retribution, and standing up against a patriarchal system, has now been warped into a consequence of a muddied plot that doesn't have anywhere left to go. For a story that claims to be "feminist", it has ironically missed the original point of its source material entirely, and completely robbed itself of the feminine strength it could have had if it hadn't tried to be "subversive".

I don't really have anything much more to say than that. I could leave it here for good, but we do still have that extra segment to talk about that covers the actual final cliffhanger in this episode, so... we'll see you on the other side.

[charles-leclerc-official]

ferrari were actually good today?? as a team too like on point strategies for both drivers? oh my lord and the car didn’t suck on pace too much? how how

charles you absolute gorgeous madman you are the light of my life your race starts your management your overtakes you are everything.

also carlos was really good today as well. great start and overall pace from him to get to p5!

Never doubt Charles' ability to drive a car to a podium. If there is even a chance he will do it.

Ferrari race strategy has been solid this year. Strategy hasn't been the weak point, I don't know where people are getting this. A few non-optimal strategy calls do not make this season a clown show and for the most part the season has seen some of the best strategy we've had from Ferrari in literal years. So no surprises there. Ferrari have been on it with the undercuts so I knew they could do it.

And the car was where it's been the last 2 races roughly. And this also shows how strategy and the driver can make up for non-ideal pace. People were telling me I was too optimistic saying a podium was possible, but with the right undercuts and Charles in the car it absolutely was.

The SF-24 current pace has been very subjective, and I think that the team and media are making it sound way worse than it is. Fred is right when he points out that there is more potential there. It's frustrating when they can't find it, but when they do it at least remind people that the car is not the tractor every one like claiming it is.

So to answer your question of how? This has been closer to what they've been doing most of the year than anything else.

Carlos made up great places. I think he lost a lot of practice with some of this issues his car was having in the FP sessions and that made his quali not great, but he found the pace for Sunday!

P3-P5 was my prediction and well

Solid points for the team and another Charles podium, Forza Ferrari, Forza Charles, Forza Carlos!

Can't wait for Monza!

[lunion]

After playing Fallout 1 and comparing it with New Vegas, the conclusion that they're both very different games is obvious, but one thing I'd lile to draw attention to is how Fallout 1 integrates a less combat oriented character better than New Vegas, at least as far as the "main story" goes.

Playing Fallout 1, I did the same as I did on New Vegas, but with much better results, thanks to two things: no action elements and how Charisma works in Fallout 1.

I tried creating in both games a character who is not super physically fit and solves most problems with diplomacy, cunning or inteligence, such as negotiating, fixing things and so forth. Not strictly a pacifist, but a scientist, rather. And thus, his skills in combat pale to dedicated fighters.

In New Vegas, charisma allows your companions to deal more damage, which is nice, but it being an action RPG, even when my character has a pitiful 20 gun stat, I feel my accuracy and FPS skills outperform much more my stats, to the point where despite barely putting points in it, I still feel like I'm god damn Clint Eastwood.

Comparing this with fallout 1, where not having enough on the stat was enough to make your turns be wasted and you dying and a non combat character was, actually, weak in combat.

You amp that up with Charisma dictating how many companions you can have and having Ian so close to the starting point and him CLEARLY outperforming you in combat, you really feel HE'S a seasoned adventurer.

New Vegas' action combat makes pitiful combat stats not matter as much as your gunplay prowess. Another problem which is further increased by bethesda's engine's "pause midcombat, scarf 7 steaks and put 8 stimpacks before resuming combat" strategy still ruling supreme makes combat more skill based than character based. Even hardcore mode doesn't negate this enough. The problem lies on the pausing with no loss of momentum, compared to spending 4 AP to open your menu in Fallout 1. I'd argue that it should be 4 AP to do something on the menu to precent stimpack spam there, but it's already better than Modern fallout in any case.

In any case. I still love New vegas. But it invites much more to be a resourceful cowboy than someone non combative.

For real, though. Getting to snipe someone just fine with a revolver while still having both arms broken felt a little too much for me.

[trashlie]

ILY FP 231

ALRIGHTY KIDS WHO’S READY FOR STALKYOO WEEKEND WHO’S READY FOR ME TO TALK NONSTOP ABOUT ILY AND TENSION AND FEELINGS AND EXECUTION AND SUBTEXT I’M RARING TO GO picture me frothing at the mouth rattling the bars of my cage because that’s been me and that WILL remain me! 

Look I’m about to choke out 246 different posts but I’m going to do my best to try to keep this one on topic... but we know how I get so uhhhh. Brace yourselves lmao 

This episode is just CATNIP for me, and I know I keep saying that but forgive me, everything we’ve been getting in these arcs is jus tailor-made, it’s the stuff I feast on, it’s got me scurrying up walls like a lil lizard chewing on the rafters shrieking like a banshee. I am FED and I am addicted and I WANT MORE!!!!!!! 

Nana + Shinae is just unhinged chaos I was completely unprepared for and getting to see them play out more in this episode is a HOOT. I say this with affection, but I am SO GLAD she’s not MY grandma cos WOW I, too, would be so embarrassed. (Actually she reminds me a lot of my mom, pls understand the embarrassment I have endured at her hand!) Shinae and Nana bonding over their mutual dislike for Rand was SO funny - like oh shit wait you don’t like that old geezer OR that witch? Oh you have TASTE (also there’s a subtle little... dig if we want to call it that “Oh I like this one” [eyes]). All the while Nol just sits by watching with that EXPRESSION LMAO 

In fact, all of Nol’s expressions are SO funny and SO good! I cannot get over his deeply mortified blushing when Nana called the headband his “comfort headband” and pretty much aired that he was so upset that he was fiddling with it lmao LIKE COME ON (BUT ALSO HER INSINUATIONS? NANA U NASTY FREAK LMAOOOOOOO implying he’d done something unholy with it I SIMPLY CANNOT) His expression as he fucking!!! Throws!!!!! His blanket over her with his lil eye buggin out? PURE COMEDY I LOVE IT 

But obviously the meat and potatoes of this episode is the Shinae Nol confrontation - and the elephant in the room. Nol says so much while saying so little - the subtext is off the charts and it’s INSANE to me that they are just.... confessing between the lines lmao 

Let me get this out of the way, my favorite point to yell about: Nol cannot resist Shinae. He tries and he always fails. He is so weak in the face of her - and now he finally understands why. She doesn’t seem to realize it, but she manages to elicit truth out of him, she keeps him rooted to the spot. He’ll purposefully distance himself from her - angle away, sit away - but he still ends up angled in towards her, drawn in. She gets to him in a way that, as far as we can tell, no one else can. It’s what made it so difficult for him to actually part with her - why he stumbled and clutched her before he finally snipped the cord, why he had to block her and when she got around that (her message in his spam) he had to drown it out with alcohol. Her gravitational pull on him is so great and he is now aware of it. 

I think he did have every intention to talk to her. Maybe he wasn’t going to be as open as we hope. He seemed like he wanted to at least try to clear something up. But his tune completely changed after she brought up Dieter, after she made him realize that Dieter saw it all, that he knew what Nol knows. Ngl I find this simultaneously funny and frustrating because it DOES put them in such a precarious position and Shinae is just SO unaware of it yet!!!! 

Nol knows that when it’s just them, things cease to matter. It’s the way he phrases things - like how he talks about when they thought everyone was asleep, because it was that cloak of secrecy that allowed him to be so bold. It was the belief that the whole world was asleep and they were alone in their bubble, no thoughts, nothing else, acting on their whims. He knows he made a move on her, and he knows it was intentional, and it would never have happened if Dieter and Soushi were awake. But that’s the thing about when Nol is alone with Shinae - he seems to forget everything else. She disarms him and he acts on his whims. 

The range of his expression is so good here - going from guarded and cautious to the moment he’s putting the dots together and he closes his eyes and screws up his face. Nol isn’t an asshole - he knows what Dieter must be feeling, what it must be like to have witnessed that, to listen in on that. Shinae may not have processed how loaded it was, but Nol can see it easily from Dieter’s perspective. 

And here’s the thing about Dieter, too. He’s not a fool, he knows what he’s up against. I don’t mean it in that he’s competing with Nol, really, but we know he compares his relationship with Shinae to other peoples’ relationships with her. We’ve seen him voice his insecurity to Minhyuk - that he doesn’t have with her what Nol does. When he told Shinae she loves Nol, he obviously meant it as a friend, the way he does - but I still think he was voicing a fear that he already had in his heart. Like Nol, though, Dieter isn’t good at resisting Shinae, and he lets his hope build up when he knows better. Dieter knew he was playing with fire. 

That doesn’t make it hurt any less, though - to basically have it confirmed almost behind your back. Dieter can see it for what it was - not just the way Nol was acting, the way he looked at her, the way he literally put the moves on her lol but it was the way she received it, the way she flusters under his gaze. It was how she stayed at his side the whole time, how her concern for him outshines her need for sleep or food. 

Nol’s guilt is SO strong, it permeates this episode, but I think it’s also very much twisted with his fear. It’s easier to use the guilt, to frame around that, because in his mind he fucks things up all the time, he makes things worse, his existence creates more problems. I love that Shinae calls him out on the fact that it’s not his fault that his plan to get her and Dieter together didn’t work because it’s true. While he’s not wrong to some degree - pushing Dieter and Shinae to be friends does kind of prolong the pain, at the end of the day, they all make their choices. Dieter chose to collect those moments with Shinae knowing they were supposed to be strictly platonic, everything as friends. Shinae still chose to confide in him, to open up, to let him in. Just because Nol pushed the friendship it doesn’t mean they had no agency in the matter. 

But obviously the real issue is not that he pushed them, that it draws out the pain for Dieter. It’s that he did all of that and in the end, he was the one who hurt him the most. It wasn’t that Shinae didn’t reciprocate - it was that Nol has feelings, too. 

Now, I want to make a point here that I’m sure we’re all on the same page about. No one is really “at fault” here. It’s not like anyone has done anything wrong. Sure we can argue that Shinae has gotten Dieter’s hopes up unintentionally. Sure we can argue that liking someone your friend likes is bad. But human feelings are messy and don’t exist in a vacuum of good vs bad. The whole thing about dibs is so gross in general - it denies someone agency and instead rests on those who like them. Is Nol a bad friend for falling for someone his friend also likes? Is Shinae a bad person for falling for the friend of the guy who likes her? Obviously there are things that need to be cleared up - she needs to sort out her feelings for them, but the point remains. No one is at fault. 

But that doesn’t mean Nol won’t feel guilty, won’t feel like an asshole for finding a new way to hurt the people he cares about. 

I know this sounds crazy but I kind of lmao like the way he told Shinae she needs to go, that “You can’t be here alone with me any longer.” 

Nol has acknowledged his role in this. He acknowledges the way he deliberately hurt Dieter, even though it wasn’t his intention. And what’s more is what he’s not saying - the subtext. That she can’t be alone with him because they will continue to say and do things that will hurt Dieter, that will create more pain. Nol knows how easily Shinae can disarm him if he’s not vigilante. All it takes is her bringing him ease again, him falling back into that comfort, forgetting the rest of the world, acting on it again. 

There’s something that feels so urgent about it? Intense? That she NEEDS to go because he doesn’t have the willpower any more. That he’s trying REALLY HARD to be a good person, a good friend, but it’s so difficult. He says it every which way besides with words, and if you read between the lines he’s practically screaming it out loud. 

I actually think he’s handling it pretty well, even if it doesn’t clear things up for Shinae in the moment. He’s acting on Dieter’s behalf - but also on his own. And hers. Shinae needs to come to the conclusion he has and it’s not for him to tell her. Part of why it’s so easy for Shinae to let herself feel that way with Dieter is because she knows he likes her. He’s safe and comfortable. Had he never confessed would she think anything of the way he looks at her? Would she think anything of the comfort he brings her? But because she knows, it has affected her view. I don’t say that like it’s a bad thing, because we all respond to people based on how they feel about us, I think. But if Nol were to speak those words out loud, if he were to tell her “it’s because I like you!” how would it make her feel? Would it influence what she thinks about him? Surely it would! 

Nol is trying to get Shinae to come to the same realization he has, and more so, he’s trying to get her to be clear about her feelings. Do you like me or not? Do you act this way with everyone? He sees the way she gets flustered, he knows the effect he’s got on her. He’s probably sure she reciprocates those feelings and hasn’t figured it out yet - but there’s still a shadow of a doubt. There’s still the fact that maybe he’s reading into it, maybe he’s seeing something that isn’t there. Maybe she’s someone who cares about him and he’s misread it because he’s so desperate to matter to someone, anyone. 

Look we all know better, but we also know how doubts persist! 

There’s so much ANGST but it’s SO good! It’s not angst for the sake of angst, it’s not drawing something out just to make the story last. Nol’s expressions cause me PAIN, Shinae’s make me ACHE. He feels like a guilty asshole, he wants her to go, but he can’t even look at her and say it - he looks away, his mouth set in that way holding back all the things he believes he should not say. Honestly they are so good at hurting each other ;______; it hurts ME, too! 

But also, I get it. I’m with Nol here. How can he bear to look at her when he’s pushing her away again? How can he bear to look at her when it’s all his fault (according to him). He can’t even look at her when he tells her Dieter was awake the whole time. It’s such a loaded statement but unfortunately it doesn’t QUITE land because Shinae can’t quite grasp the significance. 

Actually this whole part is both so funny and so unbearable to me lmao because Nol is all but saying that Dieter oversaw them having a very non-platonic moment and she’s like i don’t get it why’s that a big deal LMAOOOOOO ;____; Nol is going THROUGH it okay! She keeps insisting that it meant nothing, that it’s just friends, what’s wrong with that. And Nol can’t come out and say the truth - that it looked romantic that it felt romantic, that he meant all of it and that’s why it’s so wrong. The whole time he’s trying to get her to understand WHY that hurts Dieter and she’s just hurting him at the same time LMAO OUCH 

I LOVE those panels where we can’t see their faces - where it’s Nol’s frustration and anguish that she doesn’t get it, that he’s trying, that he feels awful because of course those feelings are still there why wouldn’t they be. His frustration, the faint lines on Shinae’s face. 

Maybe it’s there at the back of her mind - something faint, something distant. Maybe for a moment she understands what Nol isn’t saying, the implications of what Dieter oversaw, overheard. But if it, she doesn’t acknowledge it at all. 

Nol’s hand over his face in frustration, that panel where we close in on his eye and Shinae says “You’re not intentionally trying to hurt him!” But... he is. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt Dieter - but he IS intentionally doing things that hurt him. And he still wants to! That’s the thing, that’s why he needs her to go. It’s so easy to fall into that, to act on that, to forget Dieter exists and instead indulge a little. It may not be his intention to hurt Dieter, but it’s his intention to do things that WOULD hurt him, and she doesn’t get it. 

But GOD lmao the way she just starts to rub salt in the wound!!!!! “Whatever he thinks is just a misunderstanding. There’s NOTHING going on here!” 

In ILY universe, nothing is always Nol. There is Nol going on here. 

And look, I feel for him here, a LOT. This must be SO hard!!!! Not just the pushing her away, not just knowing he hurt Dieter, but having this whole conversation, her not getting it, her taking a moment that clearly meant SO MUCH to him and saying it meant nothing. Again, there’s so much that is LOADED when she says “We’re all friends here!” and he says that resolute “No”, his eyes hidden from us, his hands firm on the wheelchair. 

Shinae misconstrues it as no, we aren’t all friends, but what Nol means is that no it’s not just friends. It’s two different people who like her a lot. It’s knowing he acted on something that hurt his friend. That moment wasn’t platonic, wasn’t just friendship - not for him. Clearly she’s unready to see it, but he knows it. No. We’re not friends here - we are people who like you so very much. 

GOD, THE ANGST, THE ANGUISH. I AM SWINGING FROM THE RAFTERS I’M HOOTING. 

I LOVE the moment he says he can’t take this - he can’t keep having this conversation, can’t take being shut down like this, can’t handle her downplaying a significant moment. If she wants to tell herself it was nothing but to keep reiterating it to him? Unbearable! But also I LOVE that Shinae stands her group and puts her foot down, I love her calling him out because like I get it! I understand both of them. She’s had no time to process any of this, all she knows is she wants him to stop pushing her away, she wants him to stop boxing her out, she wants him to be OPEN. 

In a way, they are fighting for the same thing, but they keep obstructing each other. They want the same thing but they’re speaking in different languages. He WANTS her to see it - that it wasn’t a platonic moment, that he meant it that it matters that their fingerprints are all over it. He wants her to see what Dieter saw. She wants him to show himself, to open up, to stop hiding, to be vulnerable. They are trying SO HARD to get the same thing, but they just keep butting heads and getting in each others’ way. 

AND WHEN SHE TELLS NOL THAT SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DATING DIETER? OH MY /GOD/ lmao alkjfkjafkjafkjafkjja alfjakfjj SHRIEKS 

Not ONLY has she basically downplayed this whole romantic moment, downplayed whatever is transpiring between them but she goes on to say SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DIETER?! LMAOOOOOOOOO Again I reiterate no one is at fault here!!!!!! But lmaooooo the OUCHIES of this whole conversation! Isn’t it bad enough that she says it was nothing it doesn’t mean anything, and then she goes on to be like I mean i don’t totally NOT not like him idk..... LMAO 

He’s clearly frustrated both in trying to get her to understand what he isn’t voicing, but also because he seems like such a resolute person? Or at least, he tries to be. I assume it’s kind of like... he realized he likes her and that’s it. It’s not that he thinks he might like her, it’s not that he might have some feelings. He knows he’s all in, all feelings, all eyes on her. And she appears so wishy washy - flirting with him but doesn’t acknowledge it, unintentionally stringing Dieter along and igniting that hope. 

And the thing is she isn’t doing any of this maliciously. She’s tried to be clear with Dieter! It’s not her fault that he keeps getting his hopes up. She’s had no time to process her feelings for Nol, has had no experiences to compare any of this to. I love this conversation between them because it illuminates how little Shinae knows about feelings, about love, about romance. She hasn’t let anyone in in a long time, has guarded herself so tightly, and now that she has, how is she to understand the ways they affect her, what their significance means? 

It’s easy to see why she keeps trying to box her feelings about Nol into a box they don’t fit. Of course she cares, of course she worries, that’s what friends do. It’s not that she cares, though - it’s why. Does she care as a friend or does she care as something else? That’s what he’s trying to get her to answer - and I think he got close. But she needs to distance herself from the night, too. She needs to dwell on those feelings - and not just the intensity of trying to hang on to him, but the other feelings, too. The butterflies, the fluttering, the fluster, the way she can’t meet his gaze, the way she starts to fluster if he looks at her for too long. 

Someone said that Shinae is practically confessing to Nol and doesn’t even realize it and my god they’re right lmao. The way Shinae argues back that she knows Nol didn’t like it when she left after they danced, that she knows he was bummed, can you really throw all that away what we’ve been through, how effortless we are? lmao SHE REALLY JUST. Goes on saying it!!! AND SHE DOESN’T RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT WAS. 

(I mean she did a whole damn love soliloquy in front of Minhyuk for Nol so like. It’s been an all night thing lmao) 

Also it hurt when Nol admits that Dieter doesn’t have that with Shinae - not even as her friend. Even if she does not not want to date him, even if a part of her DOES like him - does it compare to what she feels about Nol? Does it compare to what he means to her? He can’t look her in the eye, and even as she tries to play it off, to say hey all friendships are different does it really matter SHE can’t meet his eye. 

Consciously Shinae may not be aware of it but on some level she must know. On some subconscious level, that ghost of a thought passes by, a faint wave of shame. She doesn’t share with Dieter what she shares with Nol. It’s true that there’s something there, but it’s something she’s avoiding, something she consciously cannot face yet. 

BUT LISTEN, MY GOD. NOL ASKING HER WHY SHE CARES /SCREAMS JUST SCREAMS ALJKFKJAFJKAFLJ AFJALJJAF AFJAKFJFA

He’s pushing!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that Nol is a ball of contradiction. He wants Shinae to acknowledge what he isn’t saying out loud, he wants her to realize that it means something to him, that there are feelings, that it’s not platonic, and he wants her to acknowledge so she understands why he’s pushing her away. But I think he also wants her to admit it herself. Confirm what he suspects. She fights SO hard but she can’t say why. She cares so much but she can’t elaborate. 

Convince me. 

LKJFKJAF LAJFKAJFA F /SCALES THE WALLS PARKOURS ACROSS ALL THE ROOFS IN THE NEIGHBORBOOD. 

He knows. HE KNOWS. Convince him he’s wrong. Convince him it’s not what he thinks. Convince her that her extent of care of need her desperate desire to keep hold of him to make him show himself to her to be vulnerable with him is platonic. Convince him. 

AND SHE CAN’T!!!!!!!!! 

Again, she averts her gaze! Again, she flusters and blushes. Again he disarms her just by looking at her and he takes advantage of the moment to finally kick her out. 

GOD WHAT AN EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANNA BARK BARK BARK WOOOOF RLKJJKJ RRRRGGHHR RRRRHGHGHG LDKJC YIP YIP YIP 

IT’S SO GOOD. THE SUBTEXT, THE EXPRESSIONS, THE DANCE AROUND THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, THE ANGST, THE EMOTIONS. 

And no matter which standpoint you look at it from it’s just GOOD. 

Nol feels guilty, like an asshole, he has hurt his friend. But more than that - it’s how he knows he can’t be alone with her, how he knows he can’t stop himself any more from acting on what he wants. He needs to PHYSICALLY remove her because that’s how little resistance he has, because that’s how much she gets to him, how much she affects him. It’s the way it hurts to have this conversation - where if he says the words out loud it makes them real and it becomes a weight she has to carry. If he can make her reach the conclusion on her own, maybe it won’t be so bad. He won’t have to deal with the pain if she doesn’t reciprocate - if she comes to the right conclusion and keeps her distance. If he says them out loud and she has to turn him down? He can’t handle that he can’t bear it. But at the same time, every time she denies that their shared moment meant nothing, that the way he looked at her, the way he treated her (HOW HE TOUCHED HER?????) was just platonic to him???? HOW CAN HE BEAR TO ENDURE THAT CONVERSATION?! 

And it’s not that it means nothing - she just needs the space and time to process it, to really play out what happened. I think, too, on some level she IS subconsciously repressing it. Isn’t it scary? Especially because Nol is a person who comes and goes, who pushes her away and then shares these intense moments and then shoves her away again. What good is it to acknowledge what he means when she can barely keep a hold on him as a friend, when she can barely make him understand his significance. Nol and Dieter both are such good friends to her, people she can rely on, people who make her feel safe. Sure Nol may not make her feel secure all the time lmao but when it’s just them, when they’re lost in that little world, for the moment, he does. It’s scary, to think of losing any of that. All the relationships she’s ever been privy to have fallen apart. There’s no photos, no memories of her family as a whole unit. She’s seen what Rand and Yui look like. She’s got no experience of her own, and now that she has friends she loves so much, she’s too afraid to lose them. 

How can she begin to dissect what Nol means to her when it makes him feel more fleeting? How can she begin to understand what exists between them is romantic when she’s never really witnessed a healthy successful romance exist?

The thing that makes friends to lovers SUCH a good trope, and why I love it SO MUCH is the stakes, the risk vs the payout. What if you take that step and it all goes wrong? What if you mess it up and you lose someone who is SO important to you, someone who means so much? What if all goes wrong and you can’t put it back together and you make something beautiful all wrong by getting your fingerprints on it and chipping the corners? You start to fear even the possibility because sure it could go well - but if it goes bad you lose it ALL. Everything. 

But what is life if you don’t take some risks? Can you live with that regret, if you never take a chance, if you miss out on something you wanted? 

That’s the thing about Dieter, isn’t it? He knows the risks. He knows he’s playing with fire, knows he doesn’t quite have with Shinae what Nol does. But he still tries. He still lets his unwavering hope go, even if it hurts him. He can’t ever say he has any regrets because he’s given it his all. Sure, it hurt a LOT and it’s going to, until he gets over her and can find a way to move on, but at least he tried. At least he made the effort and can say that he did his best. 

It’s funny that Nol and Shinae stand in that place. She’s doing her best, she’s making an effort so she can’t regret not trying - but she just can’t see the full picture, can’t acknowledge WHY she’s fighting WHY she’s pushing. But Nol is the other part of it, the understanding, but also fear. It’s not just Dieter that stops him. If she continues to deny that it means anything, if she continues to say it was nothing.... that hurts. It’s bad enough to have feelings - but for the person you like to deny them? GOD. ;A; 

At this point there’s a lot of conversations that need to be had, and i think I’m looking forward to (hopefully?!) seeing Nol and Dieter talk it out. I think as much as Dieter is hurt, I can’t see him as the kind of person who would stand in the way of his friends happiness. If they make each other happy, who is he to tell Nol to back off or something? Shinae is a person with agency who can make her own choices and if she comes to a realization that she reciprocates Nol’s feelings well.... he can’t really stop her just because she doesn’t like him. He’s not an incel alkfkjafjaf lmao I don’t think it’s the kind of thing that would make him hate either of them. 

I’ve said it before but Dieter loves Nol, too, so he can understand why Shinae would fall for him. And likewise, as a person who likes Shinae, I’m sure he can understand how Nol would unintentionally fall. There’s a lot that’s happened between Nol and Shinae that Dieter doesn’t know about - the things that draw them together, that make them reach out to one and other. I think he can probably get that sense - there’s just SOMETHING ELSE there that isn’t with him and Shinae. 

I like to think Dieter might encourage Nol, or at the very least perhaps tell him to stop pushing people away. That one of these days he’ll push and she won’t come back and can he really live with that? While Dieter doesn’t know as much as Shinae, he at least seems to have the sense that there’s a profound depth to Nol, that there’s a lot of pain (as evidenced between him and Kousuke) and that his life hasn’t been as easy as Yeonggi made it look, so maybe he, too, will what it means for Nol to open up, to really truly fall for someone who feels the same as him. Who is he to deny their happiness, just because it makes him hurt? 

On the other hand, a part of me dreads Dieter and Shinae talking because WHEW BOY we know it’s going to hurt either way it goes. Will she deny her feelings about Nol, try to continue to write them off as friendship because it scares her, because she’s so afraid of losing him that she’s willing to swallow them down, because she doesn’t want it to get in the way? Even if she did, Dieter would see through it. I think now that he’s seen it, really seen it at play, he knows he can’t keep pretending. That’s why he’s distanced himself. If she were to try to play the card that it meant nothing wouldn’t he get more upset that she’s lying? God it just feels like a painful conversation ;___; And if she’s honest with him, if she sets him straight that she should have been clearer, that she hurt him, it just makes it hurt more AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH 

JUST AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

All that said, I love how good of a subversion of “why does my kokoro go dokidoki”. It’s not that Shinae is naïve - it’s that she’s inexperienced and scared. It’s that she hasn’t had the time to process, it’s that she has this mix of feelings that she’s had no time to sort them out and untangle them. For so long she held people at arm’s length and now her heart is too full! And because it’s subverting that trope, I don’t think we’ll see it drawn out for a terribly long time, and she’ll put on her big girl pants and try to make it right. Right now she’s afraid to rock the boat. She’s been hurt so many times by people, she doesn’t want to be the one who hurts others, she doesn’t want to be the one who inflicts pain. But I think when she realizes the truth, she’ll realize that trying to ignore it causes more pain, drawn out. That’s what Nol is getting at. That as long as she doesn’t definitively have feelings, it only hurts. It drags out Dieter’s pain every time he thinks there’s a chance. It drags out Nol’s pain, that she can’t sort out the feelings. 

I love so much that Shinae cares about peoples’ feelings - especially because in the beginning she so badly wanted to believe she doesn’t care if people think she’s a bitch. She’s so empathetic and caring! But at some point we have to realize that avoiding a problem only makes it worse. It’s so much better to be up front and get it out of the way. Dieter won’t be able to heal until the wound stops getting ripped open. He WILL be okay, he WILL get over. But it won’t happen until she makes things clear. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS SO MANY FEELINGS I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT NOL’S RESOLVE BUT I’M SAVING THAT FOR A SEPARATE POST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS 

[anincompletelist]

twenty questions for fic writers

thanks to @cricketnationrise @happiness-of-the-pursuit @kiwiana-writes

@ninzied @captainjunglegym for the tags friends! it's been a while since I've last done one of these so I figured I would participate again! xx

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how many works do you have on ao3?

56! (technically 60 though… 😏🤫)

what's your total ao3 word count?

1,248,687

what fandoms do you write for?

RWRB (currently) [ 1D and teen wolf (past) ]

top five fics by kudos:

but if you could see us from a distance you'd know I've always been so close to you - the og sex curse one shot

Something Borrowed, Something Blue - enemies to lovers at june's wedding

I'll bet it all on me and you, I'll bet it all you're bulletproof - coworkers trivia fluff

praying our bridges don't make waves - soulmates with a twist

kiss me like you've got nowhere to be - roommates to lovers fluff

do you respond to comments?

nowhere near as much as I'd like to! my capacity for social interaction lately has been... lacking, to the say the least ksjhdkshd BUT I SEE AND READ THEM ALL AND I HOLD THEM SO CLOSE <3333

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ooh I can't usually do angsty endings so I'm carving my own loophole here -- the first two fics in the sex curse series are definitely my most angsty endings before they work their shit out in the third skjdhsjkhd

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of mine do, but I'd say that overall the most fluffy ones are in the firstprince first kisses series!

do you get hate on fics?

I most definitely did in my old fandom but people have been generally very kind and supportive to me here so far! :')

do you write smut?

yes!

craziest crossover:

my george x firstprince hurt/comfort is very special to me <3

(but I also have a Jeff from bottoms x Shane from minx au in the docs so ksjhdhfjh that too)

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

have you ever had a fic translated?

not in this fandom! but I have had some lovely folks record some podfics of my works! (here and here!)

have you ever co-written a fic before?

not for rwrb! (yet???? ksjhdkjhfkjh)

all time favorite ship?

I gotta go with fp! they got me like that niall horan ear crawling gif fr I'll never be the same

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh gosh I'm not sure. I HOPE I finish them all but I also have an obscene amount so ksjhdksjdhf not crossing anything off yet!

what are your writing strengths?

I think dialogue? it's always the part of my fics that I write first, and then I build the rest of the story around it. I hope it's a solid foundation!

what are your writing weaknesses?

there's a fine line between explaining and over-explaining and I think sometimes I fall into the second category skjdhkjhf. I love some introspection as much as the next guy but I'm working on only including details that feel most pertinent to the story.

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I love it! I think it can be so special and can be another way to connect readers with the characters and the story. I took Spanish all four years of high school so I'm a little rusty now, and studied French for a while a few years ago and just picked it back up recently! my translations aren't always perfect but luckily I've had some very kind people to check or point these things out for me :)

first fandom you wrote in?

..... hollywood heights sjkhdjkhgdfh

favorite fic you've written?

oh no. I am so bad at perceiving myself ksjhdjkdjfhg. I think each of my fics definitely served a purpose for me while writing them, but lately I've found myself returning to these three (I'm breaking the rules yes sorry):

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

there were pages turned with the bridges burned (everything you lose is a step you take) - diabetic!Alex

treading water in the deep, just waiting for the tides to meet -(soulmates)

but also there's a wip I'm working now which..... might take first place when I post skjdhkjsdh WE'LL SEE!

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PLEASE PLEASE CONSIDER THIS OPEN TAG IF YOU'D LIKE TO DO IT! with all of the tumblr nonsense and how behind I've been on here lately I'm all over the place with tags at the moment.

other tags (no pressure!): @firenati0n @nocoastposts @wordsofhoneydew @thedramasummer

@heysweetheart-writes @stellarm @suseagull04 @bigassbowlingballhead

@eusuntgratie @magicandarchery @read-and-write- @iboatedhere

@anchoredarchangel @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @alasse9 @itsmaybitheway

@getmehighonmagic @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse

xx

[the-real-rain-world-confessions]

I would really like to see more interpretations of Moon that highlight her weakness (or perceived weakness) rather than making her an assertive girlboss who stands up for herself or is righteously angry

I understand why that sort of content is made obviously it is cathartic and comforting for many, of course

though as someone who has difficulty asserting themself, who has trouble taking up space, who is often passive, and can be too self-sacrificing it is nice to feel seen and accepted and like idk

I think it speaks to a different kind of strength to remain as kind and positive and helpful as she does, even if she is not perfect and can also be snippy or passive aggressive or irritable at points

and there are points she will refuse to speak to you, of course

no one is perfect, obviously

but she really does try her best to be kind helpful despite everything she's been through, and I think sometimes people can overlook how meaningful that is because it's easy to think "oh she's just nice" rather than "she is deliberately choosing to be kind to others in spite of her circumstances"

(which is understandable since it is quieter and more understated than something more obvious or dramatic or immediately gripping like FP's guilt and self-loathing)

idk it's just nice to know that maybe it is ok to not be a girlboss who puts people in their place

maybe it is ok to still be kind and gentle and hopeful even when you've been terribly hurt and beaten and betrayed by others

and maybe it is ok to have flaws like that and that not everyone will be good at that kinda stuff, and some people will just make the best of what they can in a terrible situation rather than always having the strength or means to solve/overcome it

again I do not wish to dismiss or invalidate or demean more assertive confident or empowering interpretations of moon of course, I understand they hold a lot of value to people for their own reasons

So please do not feel like your interpretation is "wrong" or "bad" if it does not align with my own

I just would like to see a bit more of the alternative because it brings me catharsis and comfort I guess

Which, the obvious answer is to make it myself, and, fair enough, I really should work harder on that

but I am also a fallible little human being so I will go and make long posts spilling out my feelings to random strangers in hope it might connect with someone somehow

.

[felikatze]

yall know i take heroes for a grain of salt unless it suits my agenda,,, but man brave robin's forging bonds is all over the place

namely in how the whole grima thing is handled

it swings HEAVILY in favor of the "grima is possessing robin" angle yet it ALSO ties grima's awakening explicitly to robin's emotions, which, why would that matter if he's possessed?

the phrase "blood of the fell dragon" comes up a lot. also iirc first time a grima calls robin a vessel? grima sure doesn't in awakening itself (fp notwithstanding), and also only female grima does it??? either by intent or happenstance it seems that f grima is gunning for the possession angle where as m grima is more on the emotions angle

like there's dissonance going on about the plain text of the conversation ("grima will take control of robin") and the themes of the conversation ("this can be averted if robin maintains hope, and even the grimas could become robin again if they find it")

ok let me just. compile.

obligatory disclaimer: i am in HUGE favor of the reincarnation angle and vocal disliker of the vessel angle but only my fellow grima stans know that and i cant expect everyone to have in depth knowledge of my grima takes. i am gonna Try to be a lil objective here

tldr intsys needs to stop being apolitical and just PICK A SIDE within the grima trenches already. add to this the timeline confusion of depths of despair, yeah, Grima in heroes is very muddy.

ok so i took a whole BUNCH of screenshots and they're all in german because (points at map of where i live) but that tends to follow english closely. expect minor translation differences ofc

C Support

This one is pretty plain in just the grimas waltzing up to robin going "hey grima is gonna possess you one day lmao. get scared"

Choice quotes from this one:

1. Robin: W-who are you? No, oh no... Could you be what becomes of me under the fell dragon's influence?

2. F Grima: Know your place, mortal. You are nothing more than Grima's vessel.

Yah. I can argue abt the validity of heroes lore all I like but within the convo itself this is just plain text.

B Support

So this is where the first doubts creep in. F Grima continues her spiel about Robin saying that "Grima's blood flows in those veins without a doubt." I wont reiterate every single time someone does this bcuz Image Limit, but it is primarily F Grima and Brave Robin.

1. M Grima: The knowledge of what you really are will haunt you forever.

2. F Grima: That is all we had to say to you. Take our words to heart... other Robin.

Here we get into my preferred angle. Not only is M Grima saying that being Grima is Robin's true nature, but F Grima directly acknowledges that she and M Grima are both also Robin, which is an odd choice if it's just Grima possessing Robin speaking. Cuz then the person speaking would not, in fact, be Robin.

Then, when the two Grimas are alone and giggling at their rehearsed performance, F Grima says this:

1. F Grima: Maybe the created discomfort will be enough to awaken the Fell Dragon.

2. F Grima: Maybe soon, monstrous flowers of ruin will bloom from the sown doubt.

So this is getting into the logistics of how Grima will awaken (inevitably, of course /s). In Awakening itself, a read of Robin as the vessel would have you believe only the rite at the Dragon's Table is necessary to do so. Here, however, F Grima says it's Robin's despair that will cause Grima's return, which she has already sown the seeds for.

In fact, causing Robin to doubt himself to sooner awaken Grima is explicitly what the two Grimas approached him for. This is their goal! But why would that even be necessary if all that was needed was for Validar to brainwash Robin and drag them to the Table? No despair needed! Robin's emotional state is irrelevant in that scenario.

You can argue of course that emotional weakness would make it easier for Grima to take control of Robin,,, but that never comes up. It's always Robin loses hope = Grima awakens.

A Support

Here, Brave Robin mentions being of Grima's blood a whopping three times in a row before Chrom can cut in. The Grimas words weigh on his mind and he's looking for reassurance from his boyfriend.

Brave Robin: The blood of the Fell Dragon could awaken within me one day... Doesn't that scare you?

Chrom's response here is notable. (Images cut for the damn 10 image limit on mobile)

Chrom: The day could come, where I, too, fall prey to my own despair. But even then I'm sure that I wouldn't stray from the right path with you by my side.

Again, Grima is not framed as a possessive force, but as Robin's own despair and hopelessness. Chrom would have no ground to compare the two if the former was the case. How would you even compare your own depression with your friend being taken over by a hostile spirit?

This is the dissonance I was talking about.

S Support

Robin, emboldened by Chrom's support, confronts the two Grimas.

F Grima: As long as you live, the Fell Dragon can take possession of you at any moment.

Robin says he has the blood of the demon dragon with the weird as hell "those veins" line. Who says that??? Did yall forget possessive pronouns exist. Just say "my veins" dear boy

anyway.

Robin: It's true that the blood of the Fell Dragon runs through these veins. But that circumstance only calls for more discipline on my part.

Robin: The knowledge of my nature only makes me more determined to never betray my allies' trust.

Here we have both in the same speech! Here, whether he succumbs to Grima is entirely put on Robin and Robin's determination. As well, he says that it's "his nature." Like yeah, this could mean "his nature as Grima's vessel", but that would be a weird use of the word nature (in the meaning of personality and disposition).

Like, again, the focus is on Grima as a result of Robin's emotional state. The two are directly tied and correlating.

To end of, shrortly beforr the Grimas leave, Robin says to them

"Maybe you can escape the Fell Dragon's fangs and walk your own path one day."

Like yeah the literal meaning is again "maybe the robins can be saved from grima" but it can also be taken in a metaphorical sense of "maybe the robins can free themselves from the role of grima."

i'm just generally befuddled. i do like the thematic thread of "robin will never become grima if he keeps hope." but the possession stuff is so entirely literal. but then why - god i already said this.

Grima loving hours incoming! Feel free to skip i just love them.

The one upside for this, for my terminal Grima brainrot - Grima's motivations in this are so tasty to chew on. I mentioned before, the Grimas approach Robin with the intent of making him despair in the face of his inevitable destiny. But Robin doesn't, refutes them - he says that if he changed, so could they.

This is fascinating, cuz I think brave Robin terrifies them for this exact reason. He's just oblivious, he's the one who'll change, just see - yet he doesn't. He is the living proof destiny can change. Here we see again, Grima as hopelessness. They need destiny to be inevitable. Because then it's not a choice to be hopeless anymore. Things couldn't have gone better. What if Robin's bonds weren't meaningless trifles, though? It's a challenge to everything the Grimas had to accept.

But look around. This is Askr. People meet other versions of themselves by the dozen - with different fates and circumstances.

Grimas' reason to speak to Robin really just seems scared of change. The final take away from the S support for Robin is that maybe they can change too, after all. Grima is terrified of change! Of hope! Of becoming Robin again! Because then what was it all for? Why did they have to suffer so much? Isn't it unfair? Isn't the thought that you could've gotten luckier unbearable? Grima is my sopping wet meow meow, if you couldn't tell.

Grima fan hours over, back to complaining.

another layer of confusion for the setting of this is is... when is this robin from, exactly?

so brave robin is said to be the tactician of the "newly crowned" exalt, matching legendary chrom's time period. This gives us precisely two options, each with their own issues:

This Robin is from the two year timeskip after chapter 12, where Chrom assumes the throne after Emmeryn's death.

This Robin is from a post canon ending wherein Chrom becomes exalt for realsies (likely only viable for a Chrom ending).

The issue with the first one is: Robin wouldn't know that he's fellblood at this point? He starts suspecting it in chapter 13, obviously because the grimleal hierophant has his exact name and face, as well as Validar's attempt at telepathy. He'd have to be from after the timeskip if that is the case.

Of course, he could be hearing this for the first time from the Grimas. In that case, his reaction is extraordinarily mild. And his first words to them are "Could you be what becomes of me under the fell dragon's influence?" If he's hearing this for the first time, what a wild conclusion that is to make. Again, he'd have no clue he's fellblood, that this is even a scenario that could happen at all.

The issue with the second option is that Robin... would have nothing to be afraid of? He would have already confronted the self that became Grima and defeated it. At which point this whole forging bonds becomes an entirely redundant character arc that really would just be inferior to the equivalent moment in Awakening itself. Robin cites himself as proof that the Grimas could change, indicating a post-canon mindset, but then, why do their words initially get to him so much?

I don't think he'd just be second act Robin either - Chrom would've already been Exalt for two years at that point, which makes the "newly-crowned" comment odd.

All around I'm.. mildy disappointed with this one. As stated just now, it's a redundant arc that doesn't show us anything new about Robin.

Looking at Soren's - that one really took advantage of the Heroes setting to display Soren's growth as a character. The interactions between him and Ranulf were great and funny, and the way he opens up to his younger self shows that Ike's kindness affected him.

Corrin also got great moments with Gullveig. It was amazing to see a post-revelations Corrin who succeeded in ending a war through communication, and how she carries it forward into solving conflicts now, no matter how dire, by extending compassion to the summoned Gullveig. I haven't finished her own storyline yet, but I already liked seeing her interact with Azura and Lilith.

By comparison, this is a scenario that literally already happens in the game itself. It elaborates more on Grima as a metaphor for hopelessness, yet muddles the logistics of it by not committing to either option to what Grima is in relation to Robin.

All around. Love Brave Robin! Great outfit! He's very cute! Another win for gay marriage! His forging bonds? Mehhhh.

Despite the ongoing discussion of "What timeline even IS this??", at least Depths of Despair gave us something new in a bad timeline chrobin dynamic. this is heroes goddammit. get crazy with it.

i would literally kill for robin-idunn interaction you would not believe. could you imagine brave robin and spring idunn interacting,,,, i am crying just thinking about it.

FEH has done a great deal to really uplift Grima as a character and add more depth to what the game gave us, both in backstory crumbs and the motivation department, so seeing them fumble the bag here is just disappointing. Can they get their own lore together already?

[holden-doesnt-exist]

what it's like having an fp i think my ideal world would be just me and them. because that way nothing would change for me, but they'd know what it feels like. the closest literary comparison i could possibly make is the way basil feels about dorian in The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, except this isn't romantic. is this romantic? i don't believe so, it transgresses that. i don't know if there's a word to describe how i feel about them, besides wholeheartedly. the way basil feels that he is entirely dominated by the existence of dorian, and that he is nothing if not fully and purely infatuated with him. i genuinely believe that there's not a thing they could ask of me that i wouldn't give them, or at the very least kill myself in an attempts to do so. i could be the most philosophically and academically inclined person in a room until they enter it, because then from that point forward i'm a child, desperate for the attention and affection i never received. i've carefully chosen the term "platonic intimacy" to describe this, the crave for such delicate interactions that i deny from everyone else. it doesn't matter who you are, if you try to hug me, or hold my hand, or any other form of gentle physical touch i will recoil, denying you the interaction. unless, that is, you're them. i will actively refuse verbal and physical comfort from anyone else under the sun, because i cannot, for even a second, let my guard down to accept said comfort. what if, in that second when my defenses are down, they recognize my vulnerability and attempt to cause me harm? that's why i refuse to be weak, unless it's with them. they wouldn't hurt me, and if they did, i deserve it and would feel the overwhelming need to end my life. i genuinely believe they wouldn't hurt me on purpose, but then again there's times their tone of voice changes, or their posture or their mood and it feels like my world is crashing down around me. what's wrong, darling? is it something i said? or maybe you don't like the way i said it? or is it the way i chose to do my makeup or my hair or dress today? please tell me what's upsetting you about me, so i can change it immediately so you'll love me more. please, just love me. a simple "love u" text instead of "i love you" feels like tiny daggers being injected into my bloodstream, making their way to my heart. i'd die for you, i'd live for you, my whole existence revolves around you, anything to make it not revolve around myself. no matter how hard i try to change it, my entire day is determined on how we interact. i could he having a great day, nothing bringing me down, but when i see you, you're distant and upset. you matter more to me than i do, please, just let me help. i'll make it better, i promise.

[vroomvroomsposts]

No, because how weak is your support for your favourite driver that you have to keep on shitting and looking down on Carlos, or Lando even?

You know you can uplift your fav without doing that right? You don’t even have to talk or care about the drivers you hate, just focus on your fav and leave Carlos and Lando alone you freaks!

And the things people accuse Carlos of?!?!! “when the team needed him the most he qualified p16 and crashed in fp2 when they had the cost cap issue” please stfu and look at why that happened instead of just going at it at Carlos! 🙄 also speaking of FP crashes didn't your fav crash in the same place in FP2 and Quali in Miami? And also got P19 in Spain? “But that was the car’s fault.” and Carlos’s was all his fault? How? Did he go and create that bump in the track and purposefully went into the wall?

Someone even said he bought the Singapore win!?! Like what!?! How would he even do that!?

And “Lando qualified P10 in Qatar, the same track where Mc Laren got sprint pole and sprint win.” He was on the podium for both sprint and race in Qatar. 😑 He got that track limits just like your fav did in sprint which dropped him from sprint point position.

I didn’t want to write a post about this thing again and again but somehow, every other day, the moment I open Twitter or Tumblr I am blasted with Carlos and Lando hate, even though I have blocked any and every anti-Carlos and Lando people I come across. And it is always the same group of fans. This is getting very ridiculous!! Get the fuck off my man’s dick!!!

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

Fic Writer Interview

So I decided to snag this from @sparklepocalypse and fill it out because I'm cozy on my couch on New Year's Eve and fighting off a nap like a grumpy toddler. I'm actually fairly certain I've done this one before, now that I think about it, but oh well. The numbers are different since last time, so...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60, apparently! 61 being posted later today!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

178,579

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ghosts

Do we still have forever

Volume Control

Retaliation

Modification to the map of you

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to each and every comment that I receive. I try very hard to leave a personalized message for each person, but no matter what, even if it's just a "thank you," I will always respond! Even if it takes me some time!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

To this day, the angstiest ending is Darkest before the dawn, which ends with hope, even if it doesn't end with an actual resolution. It's during canon, so the reader know what happens next.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I think my most recent Christmas fic, Oh what a laugh it would have been, has probably now overtaken one of my previous fics for overall happiest ending!

7. Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but I'm absolutely open to it given the write parameters!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I haven't yet, and I hope I never do, although I know that the internet can be a wild place.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

If you'd asked me back in July of this year, I would have said that I primarily write fade to black. Since then, I've written ridiculous amounts of smut. I'm still learning about various kinks I'd like to write about, because I don't want to just write without knowledge of the act itself, but I'm wading into the smut-verse now. I'd say the water's up to my knees, at this point. Got a ways to go.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, not that I've been made aware of, but I think it would be so neat.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't but catch me and @thinkof-england cowriting something amazing now that the new year has arrived.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Y'all are gonna need to sit down for this. I don't think you're ready. Deep breath in. Hold it. Now let it out slowly. Calm your mind. Are you ready? Okay because I know this is going to come as a shock to you when I say that it's FirstPrince.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Star Trek fic with Jim Kirk x an OC. I started it back in the spring and then RWRB happened and now it's just languishing away in my docs at just shy of 18,000 words.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told that I have realistic dialogue, so I'll count that as a strength. I also think I'm pretty skilled at metaphors. Love a good metaphor.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

The description of surroundings, including clothing and scenery. I feel like I don't do enough of this sometimes, and I'm trying to better at painting a proper picture.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done so! Lots and lots of research and consultation with native speakers to confirm accuracy.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Pirates of the Caribbean, apparently.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

There isn't really one out there. I'm super content with the permanent campsite I've built in FP land. Hopefully I'm allowed to hang out there for quite some time.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

How am I supposed to pick a favorite out over 60 fics?!

I suppose if I absolutely HAD to pick right now, right this second, I'd say Ghosts, because the prompt for it as my first ever reader-submitted prompt on a comment from another fic. The reader enjoyed my fic so much that they asked if I'd write another, and Ghosts it what came of that interaction. I loved writing it and sharing it not just with that reader but with the fandom as a whole.

Gonna post my tag list for anyone who wants to participate!

@adreamareads @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @daisymae-12 @duchessdepolignaca03 @gayrootvegetable @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @indomitable-love @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @kiwiana-writes @leaves-of-laurelin @leojfitz @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @ninzied @priincebutt @read-and-write- @rockyroadkylers @roseharpermaxwell@ships-to-sail @songliili @ssmtskw @statueinthestonetoo @stereopticons @suseagull04 @thinkof-england @tintagel-or-cockleshells@user-anakin @vanillahigh00 @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew 

[weaselle]

i miss this. I've just been in such a non-creative rut for the last few years. But i'm just starting to break out of it lately. Even started a bone sculpting project a few weeks ago (processing the bones is talking several weeks as it turns out)

Anyway i saw a post on here yesterday that got me briefly interested in my old video game idea and the artist who posted it just agreed to let me commission them to do concept art for it and i'm getting pretty excited about it!

So it's time to go back through and reconnect with Starsys 9 my dream video game project.

It combines a mix of genres, so players can be like, a cyborg human piloting a robot mech, or an alien beast creature, or an elven vampire necromancer, etc.... playing these diverse characters in a MOBA ARPG with FPS and RTS elements.

(please excuse my "drawings", you can see why i'm excited to commission someone for some better concept art)

there are 3 factions: Cyberians, the Sporeborn, and Dimenkind

Cyberians - humanoid cyborgs that often pilot robot mech suits

Sporeborn - Different alien species (many insectoid) all unified through infection by a sapient fungus

Dimens or Dimenkind - fantasy/horror genre characters like dwarves and werewolves that are pulled from other dimensions by godlike cthulhuic trans-dimensional beings (hence the name Dimens, from the word dimension, but also like demons)

each faction requires some but not all of the resources available on the planet, (water, organic hydrocarbons, minerals/metal, sulfur, methane) and they fight for access to, or control of, these resources. Resources typically need to be harvested and processed, and each faction has special installations/work units to do this.

Each faction has access to specific types of damage, with some overlap. Each faction tends to have weakness to certain damage types and resistance to certain damage types. Cyberians do: kinetic(bullets)/explosive/physical (melee)/electric/laser Sporeborn do: plasma/physical (melee)/chemical/biological Dimenkind do: physical (melee)/elemental/magic damage/curse damage (debuffs)

The total effect of resource needs, damage weaknesses, damage resistance, and damage capabilities results in a sort of nesting doll system of rock/paper/scissors relationships

Each faction maintains a control zone, in which their dominant resources are provided to player characters for free in AOE dispersal fields.

Cyberians use relay beacons to broadcast resources as particle beams made of individual atoms to be reconstructed into materials. Sporeborn use spore piles to waft clouds of spores that provide sporeborn characters with resources, and Dimens use altars that generate large circles of magic energy.

Another key feature of the game is team-leading. Each player has a certain number of points to spend on npc supports that are assigned to them. There are three size classes of support, each size class costs a different number of points, so a player can choose how to spend their support points to have a whole bunch of small supports, or one of each size, or one big one and a few small ones etc. Some skill tree options increase the number of points available to spend on supports.

Cyberian supports are droids and bots, Sporeborn supports are spore-infected alien animals, and Dimen supports are goblins and zombies and trolls and things.

personal npc supports can be given complex commands using a communication wheel. Leveling up increases the number and complexity of these commands

Each faction's control zone also has unassigned npc supports wandering around doing control zone maintenance and upgrade tasks. Players can temporarily command a couple of these unassigned npcs, as players raise their rank they increase the number of npcs they can claim in this way. These npcs can only be given a small number of very basic commands. However, they can be put under the control of the players personal supports, assigned to perform the same behaviors as that support unit, who can then be given the more complex commands. In this way groups of unassigned npc supports can be deployed by player characters to perform complex maneuvers as a unit.

Additionally, each faction has a technique for taking over command of enemy npcs. Dimens can raise dead npcs, Cyberians can hijack npcs trekie-borg style, and Sporeborn can infect npcs with their fungal spores

There is a lot more (character class breakdowns, huge portions of additional gameplay mechanics like how the RTS elements work, i even wrote a short story as a kind of trailer to introduce the game and showcase a sort of vibe for it) but this post is long enough already

[sullustangin]

So ridiculous question: Did Valkorion ever come out while Eva and Theron were having sex?

This made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the larf; I've needed it due to IRL stuff. <3

Ok, so, the short answer is NO. Valky is repulsed by Theron and tends to go mope in his prison in Eva's head whenever our favorite spy shows up. He wants NOTHING to do with her private life. Theron is icky to him, and he'd rather gargle razor blades and iodine than get an eyeful.

~~

The slightly longer answer in my universe: I imagine that Valkorion screwed up when he picked Eva to be his host. At the time, a Force User made sense, but he's done that before -- booooring. Plus there's no crueler way to further fuck up your not-favorite son than to create a vessel that can kick his ass -- and can't even use the Force naturally. Smugglers are greedy and weak-minded -- this will be easy.

Valkorion didn't anticipate that the vessel could not only hold him but trap him. He thought he could just take up residence, upgrade Eva's arsenal and give her Force abilities, then take the Throne back. No biggie, even if Arcann did chuck her in a freezer for five years. ....but then Valkorion found that he couldn't just take control. He couldn't do what he did on Ziost.

Is he weaker? Is she stronger than Jedi Masters (at least the Hero of Tython in Act 2 and the Sixth Line)? In my universe, it's a bit of both.

Valkorion picked the most stubborn, Force-null, immune-to-manipulation criminal in the galaxy. This is known in the game since we see at least 2 instances (one on Tatooine and one in an FP) where the Smuggler laughs off an attempt to influence them, much to the Sith's consternation. Combine that with the loss of power that the Emperor had when the Valkrion body was slain; I don't think all of the Emperor's power went to the Outlander in a 1:1 transfer.

Valky lost something when he died, and Eva is particularly resistant to the Force. She can tossed around by it, like any visible object, but her own presence in it isn't particularly strong. I've headcanoned that Force Users can't just sense her Life Force, reach out, and grab her; Miraluka have trouble perceiving her and extensive cyborgs like Arn (another headcanon of mine). Direct line of sight in the same room? Yes, she can be acted upon, but it's not as easy as it could be. Force Users also can't do stuff like Force Choke her across a commlink, like Vader does. Eva is difficult to act upon, if that makes sense. Valkorion can talk to her, but it takes a lot of effort; this is why he's sometimes there, sometimes not.

We see in KotFE several instances where Valkorion exerts himself to save the Outlander's life -- because it saves his life. I imagine that he does exhaust himself in these expenditures, which causes him to go silent for much of the six months between KotFE and KotET. As much as Eva is stuck with Valkorion in her head, Valkorion is equally unable to leave, and he is NOT HAPPY about Eva's lifestyle overall.

Valkorion is not going to waste his energy and make himself want to drink bleach by interrupting sexy time. Also, if he was going to do a body hijack prior to the Throne, the last person he'd do it in front of would be Theron. Theron may be an inferior being for lacking the Force, but he is perceptive. It's a combination of Theron being brilliant at analysis and observation (spy and operations manager), but also the love factor. I do imagine Valkorion loved Senya at some point, and people in love notice their partner -how they move, what they do when they're in a mood, etc. Valkorion is just smart enough to know Theron would catch on fast if Eva wasn't herself. He was human, once, after all.

[sillovn]

Cheat Sheet: Hybrid Sorcery

So you want to play a hybrid sorcerer? Here is a quick overview. (X) - more Cheat Sheets

This series started as a reference for planning my ER characters, and also as notes for spell types. Ive tried to keep this info dense and not just list things you can pull from a wiki/build tool.

As always, I recommend the following for detailed math and specifics...

Build and Inventory Planner by sovietspaceship

Glintstone Staff math by Chrightt

Magic Schools Overview

Death

Stat: INT+ FTH min - Rancorcall (16 int, 14 fth) max - Explosive Ghostflame (42 int, 30 fth)

The most stat intensive magic school with few practical uses. Main strength is throwing out persistent homing projectiles (ie. being annoying in PvP). Besides this, Death spells are slow acting and deal very little damage.

Fia's Mist is a source of Deathblight. Only 1 other spell (Death Lightning) also has this.

Tibia Summons can be blocked by obstacles (the skeletons spawn where an invisible projectile lands).

Lava

Stat: high INT + low FTH min - Magma Shot (19 int, 10 fth) max - Rykard's Rancor (40 int, 18 fth)

The only fire damage sorceries, spells are slow acting and leave lingering damage effects. This school is very weak, if you need fire damage projectiles - consider using throwing pots instead.

Magma Shot, Roiling Magma are "magic grenades", manual aim works better than locking on.

Gelmir's Fury, Rykard's Rancor focus on flooding areas with damage hazards. They are also (arguably) less useful.

Claymen/Bubble

Stat: INT + ARC min - Oracle Bubbles (19 int, 15 arc) max - Great Oracular Bubble (25 int, 18 arc)

Only 2 spells, send out bubbles that drift slowly and explode on contact. Very efficient damage per FP but very slow acting; treat these less like ranged missiles and more like environmental hazards that you can prepare a fight with.

Oracle Bubbles are very weak, leaving Great Oracular Bubble as the 1 real spell in this school.

Great Oracular Bubble has similar damage to Comet, and works somewhat like a slow-motion version of it.

Both spells are found early, with no boss kills needed.

Aberrant

Stat: FTH min - Briars of Punishment (21 fth) max - Briars of Sin (24 fth)

Has many strange properties; FTH-only requirement, inflicts bleed and costs life to use.

very low fp cost, also surprisingly fast cast speed.

damage improved by many sources. Staff of the Guilty (+20%), Alberich's Armour (+6% per piece).

despite appearance, deals magic *not* physical damage.

Glintstone Staff Breakdown

Spell scaling comparison is vs. 60 INT on Academy Glintstone Staff (~304). In short, +50 points in damage stat given most classes stat with ~10 stat base.

Prince of Death

INT/FTH staff, has the most damage given infinite levels (80 INT/FTH). However, stat scaling is low up until ~60 INT/FTH. Consider for NG+, poor choice otherwise.

226 scaling at 35/35 or 40/30

Gelmir

INT/FTH staff, more usable than the above, but still very weak. This staff is drop-only and *very hard* to farm.

248 scaling at 40/30 or 35/35

Albinauric

The only hybrid staff with reasonable damage, scales Arc>Int. However! you still need INT for spell requirements; take note, even if high ARC + low INT looks good on paper.

293 scaling at 40/30 or 45/25

Guilty

Pure FTH staff, drop-only. Large school bonus (+20% damage for Aberrant spells).

271 scaling at 60 fth

Closing Thoughts

Hybrid sorcery is difficult to work with. And with good reason.

Sorcery is *very focused* on 'long range + magic damage'. The hybrid schools don't improve/widen your strategic options. Additionally, the most usable hybrid spells also tend to be the low req. ones.

Sorcery requirements overwhelmingly ask for INT and lots of it. Even if damage seems good, having less INT limits your arsenal.

Hybrid staves tend to have low damage

All this to say; 'INT+ splash stat' is the most reasonable build for (most) hybrid sorceries.

For example: 15 Fth lets you use 3 of 4 Gelmir spells. For most characters, that is ~5 levels. Additionally, school bonuses only need the staff *equipped*. In this case, you could Off-Hand a Gelmir Staff and cast with an Academy Glintstone for much more damage.

The 1 noteworthy exception? Aberrant spells. The staff damage is pretty decent with a *very large* school bonus. At reasonable levels, dual-wield Guilty Staves is the most damage (for Aberrant spells specifically and nothing else).