#fox freakin mulder

[thejonasbrothersofficial]

Whenever I think about him I want to start doing this

[precedex-files]

A little fun with this meme I saw. Blocked out the boring generic people with the far superior Fox freakin’ Mulder

[well-and-true]

"I'm Fox freakin' Mulder you punks!"

[42spooky]

Fox freakin Mulder <3

[andronetalks]

The X-Files Creator Was Threatened By The FBI Because He Knew Too Much

Giant Freakin Robot By Jonathan Klotz June 14, 2024 When The X-Files debuted in 1993 with the tagline, “the truth is out there,” it became an instant hit. Millions of people tuned in every week to Fox in order to watch FBI Agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) unravel the conspiracy, but according to the show’s creator, Chris Carter, the real United States…

[hot4mulder]

[tayshacharlton]

[muldertxf]

It’s hard dealing with a partner who thinks everything is a government conspiracy

[agentelmo]

So I was re-watching the MSR scenes from I Want To Believe this afternoon (you know, as you do) and something clicked in my head about why Scully might have left Mulder.

In IWTB, Scully has transitioned away from her FBI life, away from the X-Files and into something else she can feel satisfied and fulfilled with - being a doctor again.  

Mulder, on the other hand, has not.  He fills his days compiling newspaper clippings, and launching sharpened pencils at the ceiling.  The joke shippers made about how Mulder is completely lost without Scully, and can’t function without their partnership was an amusing aside in Chinga, but now it’s not so funny.  Being lost, unable to properly function or feel fully alive has become his life.

While she can find purpose in their new quieter lives, he’s completely isolated from the world - cut off from his passion for investigation and discovery.  He’s living a half life.  A half life with Scully, but a half life all the same.  

In the beginning of IWTB, an interesting transition happens.  Scully begins being very eager to get Mulder involved in the case, she worries about his isolation and the clear effect it’s having on him - I think she sees this as a chance for him to reconnect with the outside world; to do something other than sit cooped up at home.  He’s initially uninterested claiming to be “happy as a clam”, but Scully does have a point - he seems to have even stopped taking care of himself, as evidenced by the shaggy beard and unkempt hair.  

But once Mulder is out there on the job, Scully starts to see a change in him and almost immediately I think she begins to worry - begins to regret bringing him onto the case because she’s seeing something in him she hasn’t seen for a long time.  It scares her because the darkness that seems to light a fire under Mulder is the very same darkness that has taken so much away from her - has taken the one thing she wanted most, and is referenced exactly once in the entire film.  

William.

Maybe at any other time things might have happened differently and Scully would have chased the darkness alongside Mulder, but in that present moment she was in crisis - being reminded of William and the sacrifice she made, and now again having to face giving up on another boy she cares about and she can’t accept it.  It’s throwing her into deep emotional turmoil.  

Scenes throughout S10 makes it much clearer that Scully often thinks she made a mistake by giving William away, and that she hates herself for it. 

So in IWTB, I wonder if what drives her to fight for Christian is because she doesn’t want to give up on him like she believes she gave up on William - driven by guilt, and that guilt I think it what makes her seek Father Joe out later, hysterically demanding to know what he meant by this phrase “don’t give up”. This “darkness” she talks about - the darkness she doesn’t want in her home is the same darkness that took her son away from her; the same darkness that forced her to make a terrible choice and live with the emptiness William’s absence left behind.  She’s built some semblance of a life with Mulder and she’s terrified of letting the darkness swallow that up too and take Mulder along with it.   This is why I think she has convinced herself she doesn’t want to go back to that life - why she asks Mulder to drop the investigation, stop chasing the darkness and “put it in a book”.  It’s why she’s done chasing monsters in the dark; because sometimes monsters bare their fangs at you, and then take everything you hold dear - everything she held dear.

So of course Scully is scared when she sees Mulder is eager, maybe more eager than she anticipated to believe in Father Joe and throw himself back into this work.  When she’s reminded of the old days, she is disturbed and tries to push it away.  But when he is reminded of the old days he is nostalgic for how they used to be - their dynamic, their teamwork.

This builds throughout the film - Mulder trying to draw her back in and her resisting to the point where Scully feels she has to take a step back, she doesn’t want to be drawn into their old lives together and she acknowledges to Mulder that she had feared that one day something like this might happen.

I think what she fears is that the only thing that can make Mulder truly come to life and feel whole again is to live in pursuit of this darkness.  Mulder all but spells it out for her too.  That this is who he is, and what she’s asking of him is to give up being who he is.

She sees how he’s not just okay with the darkness, but that he actually thrives in it.  He’s been reignited and it scares her to have to face that.  She had clearly harboured this fear that one day he would want to go back to that old life - after everything she’s lost this is a desire she does not share.

By the end of the film Scully seems broken.  I think she feels she’s lost him when she goes to tell him about Father Joe’s death - she sees that he’s been awakened; he’s rediscovered his passion for the pursuit of truth and all the dangers it brings - dangers like the one that robbed them both of their son.  She doesn’t want that life anymore, and seemingly he does, so leaving him is the only solution she can think of.  “I don’t know what else to do.”

But Mulder, ah Mulder... “Don’t give up”, he tells her.  This scene always confused me - I was never really sure what they were talking about specifically.  Don’t give up on Christian?  Don’t give up on their relationship?  Both?  Even as we observe every word, every look and every touch they seem to still have a secret language that we can’t penetrate - they’re having a discussion that only they fully understand.

I mean, it could also be terrible writing and I’m overly romanticising it, but shhh.

I always interpreted it as Mulder asking Scully not to give up on him.  Because that fits more with the overall narrative of the film, right?  Scully feeling like she’s losing Mulder and thinking she has to let him go to save herself from this darkness she fears, but also to let him go be who he needs to be.  But he says no, don’t give up on me, on us... I’m willing to leave all of this behind and be with you, just the two of us.  Let’s leave it all behind, I’ll gladly throw it all away to be with you.

Everything she wanted from him, he gives her in that moment and that brings her back to life; gives her courage.  Her doubts erased, she goes ahead with Christian’s surgery.  This is what these two together can do for each other - it’s beautiful, but also heartbreaking.  Even with this level of love and self-sacrifice, why didn’t it work out?

How did we go from there, to the beginning of S10 where they are no longer together?  Well, this is where my theory about it comes in.  I think that despite Mulder’s best intentions to give up that life and just be with Scully, it probably didn’t last... because ultimately, this is who Mulder is.  

In IWTB what I see is Mulder’s internal contradictions.  In the heat of the search, Mulder isn’t willing to give up; he’s stubborn to a fault and he will sacrifice seemingly almost anything (even his relationship with Scully) to do what he thinks he must do. 

This is in no small part due to the loss of his sister, Samantha.  Scully picks up on this very quickly - she knows him so well at this point; knows that his determination and obsession to save others - particularly women - is borne out of a long standing and deeply scarred need to save his sister.  

But in hindsight, when he’s able to take a step back from the rush of his obsession, he can see the consequences more clearly and chooses to give up this part of himself; give up who he has always been; who he was before he met her - everything he knows.  He chooses to give that up to be with Scully.  

That’s love, right there.  Can we please take a moment to appreciate how much he loves her?  *sigh*

On the face of it, this seems like a wonderfully romantic gesture - and it is.  But in reality this was always going to be doomed, because while Scully has something else to fulfil her - Mulder still doesn’t.  That problem was never resolved.  I don’t blame Scully for this, but I do think, when you really look at it for what it is, the life they were living was never going to last.  Mulder can’t give up who he is, even if he wanted to, and he really did want to.  But I think Scully’s lying to herself if she believes Mulder can truly let go of that life and be happy.

And that’s why I think they broke up.  Scully coming to realise that Mulder has to be who he is.  Sveta says in My Struggle I that Mulder was depressed, and that’s what killed their relationship.  I think what happened was that Scully made a sacrifice... she knew that being with her was killing him, that he would never choose to go back because that would also mean having to let her go - and he can’t do that.  So I think she made the choice for him.

Even though he loves Scully, I imagine giving up that part of himself was what was making him depressed and I think he would quite possibly destroy himself if it was what kept her by his side.  But Scully could no longer bear to watch him do it to himself anymore.

My head canon on this now is that Scully left Mulder not because she’d had enough of his mopey depressed self, but because she wanted to save him - to set him free of her, allow him to be who he once was, because she couldn’t be with him if he was going to go down that path once again - it was just too painful for her.

Now when I started thinking about their breakup in this way, I wanted to tear my own heart out Milagro-style.

But wait, there’s more!

Because what did S10 show us again and again about how Scully truly feels when she’s out there with Mulder, pursuing the truth - working on the X-Files?  They’re both so alive again - so much more than either of them were in IWTB where they were together but leading unhappy lives.  They really did seem sad in IWTB - even in romantic moments, it felt permeated by this oddly melancholy atmosphere... but S10 Mulder and Scully are very different - particularly Scully.

Not to mention this very interesting conversation with Tad O’Malley.

O’Malley: Do you miss it at all; the X-Files? Scully: As a scientist it was probably some of the most intense and challenging work I’ve ever done.  I’ve never felt so alive. O’Malley: You mean, working with Mulder. Scully: Possibly one of the most intense and challenging relationships I may ever have... and quite honestly, the most impossible.

I think the reason there were references to Scully enjoying the X-Files and her truly feeling alive when working with Mulder, was a way to communicate to the audience that Scully had - for a time - forgotten that.  Working with Mulder again made her realise that she loved this life just as much as he did.   Seeing him again; truly seeing him as he was - this stubborn, driven, passionate man with his beautiful mind that she fell in love with - I want to believe (eyyyy!) will make her realise they can be together and that they don’t have to destroy each other to do it.

That’s how they find their way back to each other, at least I hope it is.  I think finding William again will play a part in that too - Scully being able to forgive herself, free herself from this guilt she carries and allow herself to live again.  

Of course, this is all resting on whether or not they actually do find William in S11, that he is their son and that Mulder and Scully do rekindle their romantic relationship.  Because despite what Chris Carter says, I don’t trust the man as far as I can throw his sorry noromo ass.

[darwin-xf]

Vox Mulder. Chapter fifty-freakin-four

It's not the ending. It's a chapter. Something new.

Mulder was sitting at his desk, neck deep in paperwork when Scully arrived.

She had been tied up at Quantico all morning, subbing for the forensic pathology teacher who had called in sick. He had been planning to call her mid-morning, between her classes. Then, needing a reward for completing the first round of the dreaded red tape, he meandered out for coffee and a muffin. He cursed when he realized he’d forgotten his cell phone, then ate his lonely pastry at the counter standing up. By the time he got back to the office, the voicemail light blinkered with a missed call from her.

He played her message three times, but didn’t call back. She’d be occupied already, instructing the new class of agents on the finer points of determining time of death using body temperature, stomach contents, or—most revoltingly— insect activity. He wondered how many recruits had fainted after she, gowned and masked while standing over a reasonably fresh corpse, had imparted this lesson, then flashed her scalpel and sliced into the stomach cavity. Or cracked open the cranium using her trusty skull key.

lt amazed him how he missed her, just a little, just a twinge, but still, considering she’d sweetly kissed him goodbye that very morning after showering, suiting up, and setting off for Quantico. He lounged in bed for an hour at her place, then made his way over to Hoover.

He was tempted to go over there and sneak into the back row just to watch her teach, as he occasionally did. Just to see the smile that crept into her eyes when she spotted him. Sensing by his relaxed body language that he’d shown up as her husband rather than as her FBI Partner. It was still strange sometimes, that word applied to him.

Before when he’d found it necessary to poke his nose into her classroom, he’d cringe at the look that crossed her face when she spied him: half dread, half irritation. Wondering what newly harvested horror he’d deemed consequential enough to interrupt her. Then there was the awkward inbetween time, when he was solidly, secretly in love with her. And so he’d want to creep in to her classroom to take a peek, just to lay eyes on her as she was teaching. But he wouldn’t do it. Because she’d see him and assume the worst. This new iteration of things was much better.

Today he stayed put in his office, though. He’d fallen behind finalizing reports by three cases, as he tended to let these thankless tasks pile up while he moved on, seeking to solve the next puzzle... then the next. He was committed to make a real dent in it today as Skinner was chirping at them about it, rather than avoiding it until Scully finally caved in and did his share. A practice, he was sorry to say, that had become his habit over the first six years of their partnership.

Speaking of avoiding, he was reading over the notes from their most recent case in Chicago, the one that turned on the uncanny luck of an unfortunate creature named Henry Weems. He smiled as he remembered; another happy ending. He wondered how young Richie was doing after his infusion of gangster liver. He figured he’d call his mother and get an update to add to the case file. They’d left town shortly after the boy had emerged from surgery as Henry had implored them to do, rather than risking either one of them falling prey the flip side of his “gift.”

Staying on task, Mulder was picking up the phone to call Chicago when Scully spoke, still standing at the open door.

“Fox Mulder. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were avoiding me.”

She’d slipped into her haughty British accent, surprisingly spot on.

“Very funny,” he said, as he paged through the file looking for the mother’s phone number. Scully was recycling a joke from years before, when Phoebie Green, his ex-girlfriend from Oxford, had turned up in this very office.

“Avoiding is the theme of the day,” he said, and looked up.

What he saw stopped him cold.

It was not Scully.

“Oh. Hello there,” Mulder said. “I... ah... I thought you were somebody else.”

“Are you going to invite me in, Fox Mulder?”

“Seeing as you’ve made your way from far off Scotland Yard to the doorway of my office, Phoebie Green, you might as well come in.”

Read the rest at Ao3

[misslilli]

Felix Felicis

MSR. AU. PG-13. | tagging @today-in-fic | read on AO3

Chapter 21 - The Halloween Fair

[ DS ]

On the afternoon of the Halloween fair, I take out the costume that Miss Hannigan picked out for me from the closet. Ever since I’ve got it, I’m beyond excited to wear it. It’s a black low-cut shirt, a white, checkered suit with a blazer that ties at the waist and a flaring skirt. As I put on the blonde wig and the black beret, I turn to the mirror channeling my best inner Faye Dunaway and say to myself in a breathy, southern lilt: “My, my, don’t you just look dandy, Miss Bonnie Parker!”

My friends have been roped into manning the booths of the fair and somehow, I’ve slipped under the town people’s radars, which leaves me able to roam around the fair, albeit alone. Since I’ve known most people in this town ever since I was little, I’m never actually alone at these happenings, people tend to just pull me into their conversation as I walk by. But as luck will have it, as I’m rounding one of the booths of the fair, I find myself face to face with the one person I had secretly hoped to see.

He’s wearing a brown tweed suit with a matching waistcoat and over the white collared shirt he’s tied an emerald green tie. Perched on his head is a white fedora. ‘Shit. He’s Clyde. What the fuck?’

We stop in our tracks and stare at each other for a moment, taking in our respective costumes. He’s the first one to regain his ability to speak.

“Hey Bonnie, the laws are outside, they’re blockin’ the driveway!” His Warren Beatty impression is perfect right down to the Texan drawl. ‘God help me…’

“Gosh, I hope you’ve parked the getaway car around the corner, Clyde!” I’m putting on my best Faye Dunaway impression again as I add a wink to my statement and just continue to walk past him. My heart thumping hard against my chest betrays my cool exterior, but that’s my secret and my secret alone.

----------

[ FM ]

When we finally get to the Halloween fair that Felix has roped me into, dressed up in a costume I didn’t even pick myself. We trail the grounds together and we’re drawn to the candy apple booth. Well actually, Felix draws us to this exact booth, the little sneak, but I can’t resist his pout and pleading eyes, so we end up getting an apple each. Munching away happily, his mouth full, he asks the question I’ve been too scared to ask myself: “Hey dad, do you think Miss Scully is here too with her friends?” I hope she is, if only to see what kind of costume she has picked out for herself, but I can’t tell Felix that. Instead, I just shrug and we continue our stroll across the town square.

When we round another booth, we both stop in our tracks as we see a blonde woman appear before us , dressed in a checkered suit and a beret on her head. ‘Bonnie. She’s the freakin’ Bonnie to your Clyde. Your sidekick. No, your partner in crime. The woman you love. In the movie of course. Insert awkward cough.’.

Felix is oblivious of course, he hasn’t seen the movies and I doubt he even knows what my costume is, let alone Miss Scully’s. I scrape together the last braincells that are left in my head and a stupid movie quote is the only thing I can think of at this moment.

“Hey Bonnie, the laws are outside, they’re blockin’ the driveway!” The retort she gives me combined with her wink render me speechless until she’s well past me and Felix, mingling with the small crowd that welcomes her into their midst just a few feet away from us.

Felix does the thing I wish I could bring myself to do, staring at her retreating form in wonder and he also speaks the words that have sprung to my own mind.

“Wow!”

----------

[ DS ]

Countless conversations later and a little tipsy on the delicious apple cider they always serve at the Halloween fair, I wander along the booths when I hear a voice I haven’t heard in over a year. And could’ve gone forever not hearing again. It’s my ex-whatever Steve, talking to one of his friends.

I’m hidden pretty well in the crowd of people due to my shortness but I can still catch flashes of their conversation. When I hear my name, I stop, straining my ears.

“Dana? Oh God, no. She’s not even close to being a serious contender for a relationship.” I wince at his statement as well as the tone of his voice. “She’s just always there, you know? Like a well trained Golden Retriever, I say the word and she comes running. Such an easy lay!” When they share a laugh I can feel the flush of shame and anger crawl up my neck.

The situation he describes is exactly what I’ve spent countless hours in therapy getting over. But what he says next really drives a stake through my heart. “It’s so pathetic, but if it’s what I have to do to get laid, whatever. She’s even dirtier in bed than any hot teacher fantasy you could ever imagine and what they say about good Catholic girls is very, very accurate, if you know what I mean!”

If he weren’t the demon I have to face every time I try to get over my past, I would’ve revealed myself and give his ass a good kicking for talking about me the way he has. But not knowing how I’ll react to being face-to-face with him, I stay hidden behind a group of mummies and zombies like a fucking coward.

I’m so furious with him and myself for not being able to stand up to him. Where the hell are my friends when I need them? I haven’t seen them all evening and I could really use their company to talk some sense into me. Since they’re nowhere to be found, I head towards the bar set up in the back and slide onto a stool, ordering a shot of Tequila. ‘Fuck it! That low-life is not even worth your time of day!’

On the surface, I’m so angry I want to set this whole damn place on fire, but deep down, the past hurt resurfaces to join the hurt from his words I just heard.

By the time I’ve downed my second shot, I’ve repeated the mantra that I’m a strong woman who’s better off without men in my head about a thousand times. I see someone slide onto the stool next to me out of the corner of my eye as I order another shot of Tequila to keep the two empty glasses in front of me company.

“A third shot of Tequila is just asking for trouble, if you ask me.” I turn my head slowly towards my bar-mate to tell him exactly where to shove his smart-ass remark when I’m faced with my supposed partner in crime, the charming one with the disarmingly innocent smile on his stupid face. I’m staring him down defiantly, my eyes never leaving his while the bartender places my glass in front of me and I grab it, downing it in a swift motion, daring him in my mind to say anything else. He doesn’t comment, good for him, and orders a shot for himself, just raising his glass silently and I clink it with my empty one – I’m tipsy, not insane, chasing one shot with another.

We’re staring straight ahead during our conversation, turning our glasses over and over between our fingers.

“Which guy seems to be the problem and how many rounds of ammo do I need to take him out?,” he asks after minutes of silence. I want to lean into him for just assuming that it’s a man that has me sitting here seething, but unfortunately, he’s right. This one time.

“How many rounds you got?” He scoffs at that.

“Plenty. And I know of exactly eleven ways to get rid of a body without raising suspicion.”

“And here I was thinking the FBI frowned upon their employees giving out top-level secrets on how to hide away evidence of a crime committed.”

“I’m not going to tell you, I wouldn’t want you to be held in contempt of Congress when questioned.”

“How do you know I wouldn’t rat you out when questioned by Congress?”

“Just a hunch… Talk to me, Red. What happened tonight?” He turns towards me and I can feel his gaze dancing over the skin of my face.

“You really want to know? Well, turns out the asshole of an ex of mine decided that today might be the perfect time to make an encore appearance in my life and reminded me again why I should’ve kicked him to the curb a long time ago instead of hoping I could change him.” Looking down at the bar, I trace my finger through the condensation drops, my anger slowly dissipating and my voice growing more and more quiet. “I heard him say some pretty awful things about me tonight.”

I relax into his hand when he places it comfortingly on my back, right between my shoulder blades, and huff out a sigh. “I’m sorry.,” is the only thing he says, but doesn’t add anything else, giving me the choice if I wanted to elaborate or not.

“What I witnessed today was the way he’s always been but I just couldn’t see through the masquerade of the sweet guy, he was so kind and said all the right things and he quite literally wooed the pants off me from the get-go.”

“Love bombing.” ‘Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re a profiler. You probably already got one worked out for me, trust-issues, anxious attachment style, possibly daddy issues, in short, a hot mess. Avoid at all costs.’

“Pretty much, yeah. And I was stupid enough to believe it.” I raise my hand to call over the bartender for another round.

“You’re not stupid. It’s hard to tell the difference between genuine interest and love bombing in the beginning.” ‘Yeah, no shit Sherlock. It’s exactly why I’m sitting here torn between wanting you to make a pass at me and being absolutely terrified that you actually will.’

“How about we pass on the shots and get some water instead before calling it a night?”

“I think that’s probably a good idea, Mr. Mulder!”

“You know, after tonight, what do you say we just drop the Mister?” I nods slowly, pursing my lips.

“So just Fox?” He makes a pained face.

“No, please don’t. Just Mulder is fine.”

“Mh-hm. I guess since we’re dropping the titles, that that makes me Scully? Little odd, but alright!”

We get the check and argue back and forth about who gets to pay, him putting an end to it with a firm “Will you give it a rest, you’ll get to pick up the next check!”.

In my attempt to slide off the barstool gracefully despite three tequila shots, my heel catches onto the rail at the bottom and I stumble over the stool, knocking it over in the process. I have only his quick reflexes to thank that I don’t follow suit, his arms catching me around my waist and pulling me upright again.

He has the audacity to laugh, the bastard, and I’m beyond mortified. “Easy there, partner! Do you need a ride home? Felix is at a pajama party at his friend Suzie’s house, so I’m free to be your pumpkin carriage for tonight.” ‘NO! Yes? No. Get your hands off me. Don’t let go just yet.’

I’m so confused at the tug of war in my fuzzy head but I hate getting a cab alone and I’m in heels on top of being tipsy, I don’t want to walk home alone at night.

As we walk out, his hand finds his way to the small of my back guiding me through the crowds while making sure I don’t stumble again.

On the drive to the beach house, I manage not to fall asleep despite how tired I feel, too afraid of snoring or, God forbid, drooling onto myself. His hands find my back again guiding me up the stairs to the front door and I turn to face him at the top, even more nervous.

“Thanks for the ride, Mulder. And for listening.”

“Anytime, Scully. Good night!”

When he leans in, I start to panic that this is it and I think it shows on my face, because he only kisses my cheek, just like I did after the birthday party before getting back in the car and heading home. I can’t decide if I’m relieved or disappointed.

I can’t ignore the flutter of excitement every time his hands land anywhere on my body but what I will absolutely deny, even to myself, is the way my heart constricts in my chest when he gazes at me that way and the sense of comfort that settles over me when we’re together.

Bodily reactions I can deal with, it’s when it comes to emotions is where it gets scary.

I just don’t think my heart can survive another Steve.

[baronessblixen]

I can't believe that tomorrow (in my country) Fox-Spooky-Freakin' - Mulder will be 60 years old! I hope he is happy with Scully and with her two spookie kids 🥰

Oh, you're ahead of me timezone-wise then! I'm sure he's happy with the love of his life and their miracles ❤ He has that family he's always wanted and while the darkness isn't gone, there's way more light in his life these days.

[hippychick006]

12.06 - Celebrating the life of Asa Fox Episode Review/Recap

Honestly, I see a picture like this on a promo and I have no hesitation diving straight in. Okay, you all know I have a hurt!Sam fetish, complete with writhing on the floor padabooty, let’s not bang on about it.

Official episode summary: THREE WINCHESTERS ARE BETTER THAN ONE – When hunters gather together to celebrate the life and tragic death of one of their own, Sam (Jared Padalecki) Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Mary (guest star Samantha Smith) must take action when a demon starts picking off hunters one by one. John Bedham directed the episode written by Steven Yockey  

My optimum number of Winchesters is two but yeah, I don’t mind a buy two get one extra free here and there.

Overall, I do really enjoy this episode, even after rewatch but putting under a cut to save space.

There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the Dabb era, and in terms of this episode, retconning Mary to be a hunter after parenthood is one of those things that niggles a little (I know she was a hunter before parenthood which also irks for different reasons) so there’s a lot I have to shake off from my mind in order to be able to enjoy an episode. And on rewatch, I had less issues than I did the first time (but given I’m coming at this straight from season 15, it could be a case of me just grasping onto absolutely anything that isn’t terrible).

Aside from the Mary thing, I love so much about this episode, not least because there isn’t a single mention of feathers who I am seriously going to struggle watching in any episode going forward thanks to 15.18 debacle.

Anyway moving swifly on…

First up is the intro and I love the introduction of Asa Fox as a character. We first meet him as a child, who Mary saves from a werewolf attack. And then we see him become interested in hunting (as Mary tells him she’s soon going to retire, and he’s worried that if she does: who’s gonna save people like me?)

Asa decides it’s going to be him and through a montage set to Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s Roll On Down The Highway, we see Asa grow up to become a pretty awesome hunter. Throughout all this time, he writes postcards to Mary, but doesn’t send them (no address) so he has quite a collection by the end and I think it’s all his hunts.

I’m so caught up in how awesome Asa is and how much I like this new character, I’m completely jarred when he comes to a sudden and unexpected end via hanging which also brings the music to an abrubt halt.

Great intro, Asa said very few words but I’m already mourning not getting to know him more.

After the opening titles, we switch to Jody who is chilling out at home about to watch Netflix when there’s a knock at the door.  Turns out it’s Sam and Dean who have just finished up a hunt and stopped by to visit. Unfortunately the cardboard cutout “just add water” instant girl hunters are at a concert. Jody offers to feed them, and Dean lets her know that he killed Hitler since the last time they saw her.

Sam: *huffs and walks away Jody: *blank stare “thank you?” Dean: You’re welcome

Love it.

They have pizza and watch Netflix and have a debate about rom coms. Sam says Dean is more of “an animated Japanese erotica chick.”

A little oversharing on your brother’s habits there Sammy, but Sam is not concerned in the least.  In fact, I love how totally relaxed Sam is sitting here. He’s clearly comfortable at Jody’s slumped on her sofa.

The phone rings and Jody goes to answer it, Sam and Dean have a conversation about Sam oversharing which Dean’s uncomfortable with.

Sam: Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.

Supportive Sam encouraging his brother!

Jody returns and walks past them, she’s clearly upset. The boys follow to watch her start packing.  They ask what’s wrong and Jody says a friend of hers died – it’s poor Asa from the opener and I wasn’t expecting a link from Jody to Asa.  

The name is familiar to Dean and he’s trying to figure it out when Sam says it’s the guy Ellen used to tell stories about at the Roadhouse.  Asa apparently killed five wendigos in a single night and now I’m even more mourning his loss. Seems Jody met Asa when he came to town on a hunt, she caught him out when he tried to pretend to be an FBI agent by the name, Fox Mulder. He’s worse than the Winchesters!  Anyway she helped him out on a ghoul hunt and they kept in touch.The boys decide to go with her to the wake, John didn’t let them go to hunter gatherings outside of bars as he always said they were trouble.

Turns out Asa lived in Manitoba, Dean says “oh Canada” when he gets out of the car on arrival.  Sam is impressed with the house which yes, nice digs for a hunter.

We meet Asa’s mother, Lorraine and she knew her son was a hunter. She’s heavily in to the drink but she’s just lost her son, so I’m cutting her some slack as I can’t imagine anything worse.

Dean finds his way to the kitchen (and the beer) which has no label. He’s concerned but “Bucky” homebrewed it himself and it’s strong.  Dean introduces himself which gets the attention of the several hunters in the room,

Randy: No freakin’ way. Aren’t you dead? Like, four times? Dean: Yeah. It, uh, didn't take.

Just wait till they hear about Mystery Spot where he died over a hundred times in a single day!

Sam fanboy hunter: Wait. Your brother here? Sam? Dean: Yeah, he's still alive, too. He's –

Fanboy doesn’t even wait for Dean to finish, he’s off to find Sam.  Same fanboy (named Elvis), same tbh

While Dean’s making friend’s in the kitchen – and learning not to say the name ‘Wendigo’ which turns out to be a trigger word to take a drink - Sam’s homed in on hotboy Max and his equally hot sister Alicia.  Turns out their mother is a good witch who taught Alicia how to hunt bad witches.

Sam (to Max): What did she teach you? Max: Uh, mostly how to seduce men. Alicia: She also taught him some magic, which is actually more useful. Max: Eh, mostly the men thing.

Max is definitely getting his flirt on, making sure Sam knows he’s into hot men, and we cannot deny, Sam is a hot man. Before Sam can flirt back, Elvis interrupts and introduces himself and then makes Sam feel awkward when he asks Sam about being possessed by the devil. Bad Elvis!

Max (and Alicia) are both pissed on Sam’s behalf,

Alicia: Dude, you don't just ask someone about something that messed up. Max: Seriously, back off.

Protective!Max alert, I’m going to need a few minutes with my new ship Samax, though to be honest, the way Max and Alicia are sitting together, it might need to be Samaxia, which no issue other than it sounds like a drug that gets advertised on television with all kinds of side effect warnings, like may cause death...)

Elvis makes Sam feel so awkward that he runs off to go find a beer. Elvis then tries to talk to Max and Alicia and they outright just tell him to go away. Love them.

Aww, Sam got his beer and then went off to find his big brother. In fairness, I think they’ve been separated five minutes at this point and in that time Sam was accosted by Elvis. Dean’s looking through Asa’s office and discovers he has a real angel blade. Sam asks if Dean knew people tell stories about them.

Dean: Yeah. Apparently, we’re a little bit legendary. Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods. Dean: He died on the job. No better way to go. Sam: You really believe that? Dean: Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.

It’s difficult watching this knowing the ultimate end as I know Sam’s never agreed with this, being the one to want to see an end to hunting at some point; but you can’t deny Dean has been consistent in how he thinks he’s going to go out and has always seemed at peace with that.

Sam says they should get back and Dean agrees but warns Sam not to say “wendigo” to anyone. I love that he warns Sam. Every time Dean is a good brother, it just reminds me how much of a bad sister I am as I would not have passed on the warning. Sam’s confused about why he can’t say it but seems to just accept it.

Only a few people are around by the end of the night, still telling stories of Asa’s epic hunts - mainly Bucky. Why show, why give us this amazing man and kill him off in the first five minutes?!.

Anyway, turns out that the “ghoul story” from earlier had more to it. Asa and Jody got together for some “sweet sweet time alone”. Jody plays it down, says it was more of a casual thing. Turns out Asa could beat Dean in the ladies game and I think even Alicia and Max mother was one of his conquests (we saw this in the opening montage as well, Asa kissing a different woman in his car in between hunts).

Randy asks if people want a beer and heads to the kitchen, and I fear Randy is not long for this world as he walks down the hallway alone. We stay on him as he returns and my anxiety is kicking in, even with expecting something, it’s sudden when his throat is slit and he’s dragged off down a side corridor by someone wearing black.

Alicia walks back into the living room carrying two beers – and we’re reminded she’s dressed all in black?!  Alicia? Surely not.

We see someone enter the door and only see their boots as they walk, they stop just outside the living rom where everyone is talking. Loraine hears the footsteps stop and tells the stranger to come in and not hover.

Turns out it’s Mary.  Awkward Winchester family reunion, given I think from memory Mary walked out an episode or so ago.

Sam, Dean, Jody and Mary go somewhere more quiet to talk.

Mary: What are you doing here? Dean: What are you doing here?

I love the reversed dynamic of Sam being go between Dean and Mary (where it was the reverse between Sam and John).  Sam introduces Mary to Jody as their mother.

Jody: I thought– I thought you were... Mary: I was. Jody: [quietly] Wow. Wow! [She hugs Mary excitedly] It is so nice to meet you!

She belatedly sees the awkward tension and ships out to give them “some family time”

Dean asks where Mary’s been and she responds she’s been using John’s journal to work through a few things.

Dean: You could’ve just asked us, you know. Sam: Dean, come on. Dean: She could’ve. Mary: It’s okay. He’s right. But… This is something I needed to do alone. I… Listen, most of the people I knew are dead. And then I remembered Asa. He was so young when I met him, I thought he must still be around. And then… I saw an article about his death, and, uh… Dean: So you’ll text us once a week, maybe, but you’ll drive all the way to Canada to see some dead guy? Well, that’s awesome. I’m gonna get some air. Mary: Dean, wait...

Mary tries to go after Dean but Sam stops her. Sam knows his brother.

Jody on the other hand stops Dean at the door and pretty much says she’s here if Dean wants to talk about anything other than killing Hitler (which Dean spent the five hour drive telling her in excruciating detail.). She talks about giving anything to have her dead husband and son back but at the same time she would be worried it wouldn’t be the same which gives Dean some food for thought in regard to his complicated relationship with Mary.

Mary’s in the kitchen getting a beer, Lorraine introduces herself as Asa’s mother. Mary introduces herself as Mary Winchester, which Lorraine can’t believe as Mary should be her age. Mary: It’s a long story. She says she’s sorry. Lorraine says she should be, Mary’s the reason her son didn’t become an astronaut. She’s very bitter and hands Mary the box with the postcards Asa wrote to her. Mary defends herself and says she saved Asa’s life.

Lorraine: [scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake.

I love this next scene between Sam and Mary. Sam finds Mary and asks if she’s all right. She thrusts the box of postcards at him and says she’s fine. She goes into Asa’s office and tells Sam she saved Asa when he was a kid, and this is all on her.

Sam: Well, no. Obviously, mom, he made his own decisions. And he helped a lot of people, you know?

Sam and free will and then we have Season 15 debacle. Pfff

Mary tells him that everywhere she goes and everything she does just feels wrong, but she’ll get used to it.Sam tells her he understands, she just needs space and so does Dean, (who we see outside drinking from his flask), He says Dean is just scared they are going to lose her again,

Sam: “that – that because we're (Sam and Dean) hunters, you're gonna walk away. But I know that’s not true. Even looking at these… [Sam holds out the box of Asa’s postcards to Mary] I mean, you saved Asa in 1980, um, after Dean was born. After everyone thought you quit hunting. Seems like you couldn’t stop then, and… I’m guessing you can’t stop now, either. This job, this life, is crazy and insane. But it’s in our blood. Come on. [Sam puts his arm around Mary] Mary: Where we going? Sam: To say goodbye to Asa.

I love that Sam understands more than anyone the desire to have normal/safe, pulling against the need to save people/hunt things so I love this scene between him and Mary and I like Mary a little bit more because of it. Damn you Jared! You even got me to like Claire once!  

They go to say goodbye to Asa and I like when Mary undoes the cover over his face and we get blood dripping onto Asa’s forehead. It’s interesting to have both Sam and Mary in this scene in a callback to Sam’s nursery scene.  They both look up and it’s Randy, tied to the rafters, dead and bleeding from his neck wound.

Back in the living room, Bucky is still telling stories about Asa. Sam and Mary rush in and Sam tells everyone they need to leave because Randy is dead. I like this, it’s like a murder mystery now. All of a sudden, water is shut off (this is new canon?), and the twins can smell Sulphur. Lights are flickering. Demon alert!

Bucky tells them it’s Jael, a crossroads demon who hangs people, which is his thing, snaps necks (Asa), slits throats (Randy). Turns out Asa exorcised the demon but now it’s back. Bucky tries to open the door, Elvis helps but it slams shut.

Max (trying to impress Sam): you’re wasting your time [he waves a hand in front of the door and we see red symbols] Max says the entire house has been warded.

Not sure if that impressed Sam or not but Max had me at “Seriously, back off” and now this?  *Fans self

Anyway, it means they are trapped inside.

Back outside with Dean, he’s still drinking from his flask. He hears footsteps and doesn’t bother turning around, just tells the person to “go away”. I think he thinks it’s Mary, but turns out to be Billy saying “you’re not the boss of me.”

Dean: Billie. What’re you doing here? Billie: My job. [Dean chuckles] Well, I’m not dead yet. Billie: Shame. But actually, I just finished inside. I was reaping a fresh soul.

Wait, what?  But Dean’s brother is in there! Dean’s pissed and marches to the door.

Inside, Bucky is telling the group more about the demon Jael. Asa exorcised the demon but not before it killed a first nations girl by tying a noose around her neck.

Outside Dean is rattling and banging on the door

Dean: Sam. Sammy! Hey! Billie: You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown. They can’t even hear you.

Bucky is still expositioning and Dean is still trying to get past that old Winchester nemesis “the door”, even throwing a solid statue at it, but nothing is happening.

Okay, we’ve now reached the only part of this episode I have an issue with. We’ve got a group of hunters standing around wondering who the demon is amongst them and not one of them can remember the tests for a demon. Sam come on!  You knew Christo in season 1 and you performed a reverse exorcism in season 8.

Anyway Elvis accuses Alicia of not being in the room and Max says Dean wasn’t in the room either (uh Max buddy, accusing Sam’s brother isn’t going to win you any points in the whole wooing thing, just fyi - of course wooing Sam in the first place is pretty dangerous terratory)

Finally Alicia remembers about holy water but they are all out. Elvis says they can just make more but Mary reminds them the water is off. Uh? The toilet bowl?

Dean’s stopped attacking the door and turns to Billie and asks, What did you do?  Billy says it wasn’t her, she’s just cleaning up the mess but “it’s always nice to see a Winchester who can’t get what he wants.”

Dean: You think this is funny? Huh? Hunters are dying in there. Billie: Everyone dies.

Dean is pretty much losing his shit and I’d like to remind people that at this point, he doesn’t know which hunter has died.

Back with the group, Sam finally remembers his brother is outside so all focus is on Alicia who starts coughing. I think she’s faking it to screw with her brother (totally what I would do) but no,

Alicia/Jael: Alicia’s not here right now. [Her eyes glow red] Leave a message. [she punches Max] Oh, you’re a fun group. We’re gonna have a good time tonight.

Jael leaves Alicia in a cloud of demon smoke and flies into the fireplace. Sam and Max get Alicia up (Samaxia forever – warning for side effects which may include internal bleeding and even death)

They now need to figure who in the house Jael has jumped into. Jody gives the orders (I’ll forgive this, she’s a cop) and they pair off to search the house (why not sweep room to room?), Anyway, Sam’s with Mary and Jody’s with Bucky.

Dean’s worked out that Billy got in to reap the soul so if she can get in, she can get Dean in.

Billie: I could, I suppose. But– Dean: Do it! Billie: But it’s a one-way ticket. And you’re gonna owe me one.

Billie, Sammy is in there, do you think Dean cares about “cosmic consequences” at a time like this? There is a door between them right now ffs!  Sammy may even be dead and Dean does not want him decomposing before he can find a crossroads to make a deal!

Elvis who was supposed to be partnering with Lorraine, left her briefly to get her a double (vodka I presume?).  Anyway Dean comes flying through the door like the overly dramatic bitch he is whenever Sam is in danger.

Dean (whipping out demon knife): Where’s my brother? [he’s already marching past them btw to go look]

THIS IS MY SHOW!  What moron thought this show was going to end with DeanCas?  Come on, don’t be shy, show yourselves so we can point and laugh because you are going to have an epic tantrum approximately 3 and a half years from this episode which could have been prevented if you’d watched the damn show, instead of wallpaper. By the way, in this episode, Castiel was played by the statue Dean threw at the door. [It represents the violent nature of the Destiel relationship – I have a 500 page meta on this if anyone is interested].

Lorraine accuses Dean of being the demon.

Dean: Demon? Lorraine: Kill him! Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, lady. Look, I’m not a demon, okay? I’m one of the good guys. Now stick with me, do what I say, and everybody’ll get out of here, okay? Everybody!

Elvis – making far too much use of his screentime matches Dean’s dramatics by pulling out his own knife and saying ominiously “well, not everybody” [complete with red flashing eyes].

In this episode, Dean is allowed to be a proper hunter and is able to fight.  He taunts the demon, “You’re kinda slow for a demon, aren’t you?” which, he seriously is, no idea how this demon got my wonderful favourite side character “Asa” killed (if he’s not in the final watching Kansas play at the Road House along with all my other favourites, I will be pissed and have a full week meltdown on Twitter – just fyi) [*I won’t really because I’m not insane. Please don’t report me.]

Dean tells the demon to go to hell. The demon tells Dean that Hell is a “complete train wreck” (uh, no, what is a “complete train wreck” is most of season 12-15) Hell is much more pleasant.  Dean repeats for the demon to go to hell and starts reciting an exorcism (finally, the smart brother is in the room).  Love hearing Dean recite the exorcism. Demon says nuh uh though and snaps Elvis’ neck complete 180 which causes Lorraine to scream, the black smoke escapes from Elvis still standing body. Elvis collapses on the floor and Lorraine is wailing. And I can say “Elvis has left the bulding” which I’ve been waiting the entire episode to be able to say. I’m marginally disappointed Dean didn’t.

Dean helps Lorraine up while shouting “Sammeh!” which brings Sammeh running to the living room. 

Mary: Dean. We thought you were outside. Dean: Yeah, I got back in. Sam: How? Dean: It was a one-time deal. Won’t happen again.

Thankfully, there’s no time for Sam to initiate the Spanish inquisition on THAT right now. They account for everyone – except Elvis obviously. The lights go out and everyone puts flashlights on (Max and Alicia have the phone torch on – me as a hunter!) but Dean pulls out the knife which Alicia and Max look at.  

Alicia: Mm, impressive. Dean: Demon blade. Kills ‘em dead. Max and Alicia in unison: Nice.

While I try to work out a Sam/Max/Alicia/Dean ship name, Bucky suggests lighting candles, Dean says they need a devil’s trap. Sam says “on it” and Dean is right there with him “yep”.  My boys working in sync!

Dean’s plan is for them all to stand in the devil’s trap. The person who won’t get in, is the demon. Clever plan. Mary is impressed and it’s nice for her to see how well one of her sons turned out as a hunter and the other is a cute dumbass – at least Sam had a flashlight.

Mary goes off on her own for some reason and goes to get the angel killing blade from Asa’s office.

Max tries flirting with Sam again, asking what kind of pentagram they are doing

Sam: Standard pentagram. Nothing fancy. Max: I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character.

Max bringing his A game to the flirting, I like it. Alicia doesn’t like all the flirting: “Because character is really what matters right now.”  They are just like Sam and Dean! Spin off of codependent witch siblings right tf now. Please and thank you.

Jody sees Mary return and is suspicious she was off on her own. She whispers to Sam that she thinks Mary is possessed, she gets increasingly worried which draws the immediate attention of Dean who comes over and asks what is going on (demon knife drawn out and ready once again). Sam quietly tries to tell Dean that Jody thinks their mom is a demon, but Jody shouts, No, I don’t think, I know! I know she’s a demon. [points accusingly at Mary] which prompts Bucky to steps away from Mary and reaches for his knife.

Mary: Hey! Jody: Kill her! Use the knife! Kill her now! Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on a second, [turns to look at Jody] Jody, you… You don’t sound like yourself. Dean (not even looking around):That’s because she’s not herself. Are you?

Oh my poor Sam Dumbchester, on rewatch, this episode did you dirty, I was sucked in by my love of Asa Fox and the whole door thing and the Sammeh! I’m so ashamed. Hands my bitter Sam girl platinum membership card back to the bitter Sam girl club in recognition I am no longer worthy of holding it Jody turning into the red eyed demon is in the running for worst “playing of a different character ever” but it’s up against stiff competition from Casifer, Empty!Castiel, Gestapo!Castiel and gayforpay!Castiel and is mercifully short. My main issue with this demon is there is no real consistency through the different bodies it inhabits. They should all have agreed how to play it imo and I do think Kim goes Disney villain OTT but not enough to cause embarrassment, just would have been better if the performance had been toned down some.

Demon Jody had hoped they would kill their mom “wouldn’t that be a riot?”

Dean (sarcastically): Yeah, super fun

Sam tries to attack Jody and is thrown. Big brother is pissed and tries to attack but is thrown too. Uh, how come the lame demon can fight now?

Anyway, Mary attacks and tries to kill Jody with the demon blade and manages to scratch her arm, but Sam says no and pulls Mary away. .

Mary: What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. Sam: No, but she’s Jody.

I like this that Mary doesn’t know you don’t just go around killing people, you try to save them first. 

The demon is bored and claps her hands, and everyone collapses onto the ground and cannot move (where was this kickass power earlier?).  The demon says she’s heard so many stories about the Winchesters, she stands over sam and says, “The idea that he left a meatsuit alive is just so deliciously weak.” Sam gives his “bite me” face.

As for the rest, she’s been inside their heads and starts spilling out secrets – the twins are Asa’s children (I forgot about this detail), Lorraine apparently tried to sabotage Asa’s truck to stop him going out hunting (which is a nice call back to him trying to fix the truck in the episode earlier).  She says Jody fantasized about a life with Asa.  Bucky manages to get up to attack but Jody grabs him and holds him on his knees.

Jody/Jael: And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine.

I like this next scene, Sam manages to stand up and start the exorcism before he’s thrown across the room again. Dean picks up where Sam left off, until he’s thrown through a glass door, the twins are next and get pinned to the wall.

Bucky finally confesses that he killed Asa [and the way he’s dramatically thrown to the floor would never have made it into a scene in seasons 1 to 5]. Oh show, weeps for the quality that once was. Season 12 (heavy sigh).

Mary stands up and finishes the exorcism which sends the demon back to hell.

Sam rushes over to help Jody who says, “That… sucked”

[Try re-watching your performance Kim!]

Lorraine: Bucky, what did you do?

They all turn and look at Bucky.

Bucky says they were hunting in the woods for Jael and he wanted to go back and get the angel blade. Asa wanted to keep hunting but Bucky pushed him and Asa fell and cracked his head and died, which I feel kind of sorry for, not like he did it deliberately and he lost his best friend [and lets be real, it’s not the worst thing a supposed “best friend” has done on this show].  It’s a very tragic end for a great hunter (don’t fast forward to 15.20)

Bucky asks what they are going to do to him.

Alicia: Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. Max: You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever

I guess I get Max and Alicia’s anger, Asa being their dad and all. It’s just tragic all round because I do feel it was an unlucky accident and Bucky clearly misses his best friend.

I like the setup of the funeral pyre, now 3 hunter bodies being burned, Jody, Lorraine and Mary are standing in front of the pyre. Alicia and Max are resting against their car and Dean and Sam are doing the same against baby.  

Lorraine tells Mary she was wrong, “Asa did have a family. He even had kids. I’ve got grandchildren. Suppose I should go meet them.” She walks over to hug Alicia and Max.

Jody and Mary are left at the pyre,

Jody: I don’t know what’s going on between you and your boys, but I gotta tell you, mom to mom, they are good men. Best I’ve ever met. Mary: I know. They’re not the problem.

Jody walks away and leaves Mary on her own, which is Dean’s opportunity, he taps Sam and they both go over to Mary. They ask if she’s okay but Billy appears and says, “She’s really not.” Mary asks who she is and Dean says she’s a reaper that got him back inside.

I would like to have much preferred to have seen Sam’s reaction as well as Mary’s but we don’t get this and it’s a bad choice of angle for me. Billie says Dean owes her one and looks at Mary, “This one. This one right here.”

Billie is still on her “what’s dead should stay dead” kick. She’s a stickler for the laws on that (and never really changes tbh, I don’t really get Billie’s overall arc.)

Mary says she didn’t ask to come back, Billie agrees but says the dead man’s look in Mary’s eyes says she hates it, that she feels she doesn’t fit, like she’s all alone.

Dean: Well, she’s not alone.

Billie (still looking at Mary): Tell me I’m wrong. [Sam and Dean turn to look at Mary and kudos to Jared once again for saying so much with no words as to how he looks at Mary here]

Billy says she’s not here to hurt Mary, “I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.”  [Again poor choice of camera for this scene as we see Dean but not Sam].  Mary asks how it would work.   

Sam: Mom. [My poor boys!] Mary: You just kill me again? Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well… then… [she looks up at Sam and Dean] Me: Don’t you dare break my boys fragile hearts! Mary: Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. Billie: Winchesters… Me: Same tbh Billie Billie: …if you change your mind– if any of you change your minds– you know my name. [she disappears]

Sam asks if this means Mary is coming home. Mary says yeah, but follows up with: Not quite yet. I just need a little more time.

Sam looks disappointed ☹ but he understands

Dean: Can we buy you breakfast at least? Mary: Bacon? Dean: All the bacon. Mary: I would love that.

I love that Dean and Mary can find a common bond through food. Sam hugs Mary as they walk together towards the Impala

Despite a couple of wobbly bits sprinkled here and there and my poor Dumbchester Sammeh, I still really love this episode overall, the good far outweighs the issues I have and I’ll happily re-watch it as a stand-alone MOTW.  I loved the introduction of the witch twins and wish we’d got to see a lot more of them *coughs* and a lot less of other “fan favourite” characters.

It will be interesting where this one will ultimately fall in my definitive list.

[writings-from-the-hart]

7 Comfort Films Tag

I was tagged by the amazing @ettawritesnstudies​ to do this tag game and honestly.....I love it! This is so wholesome and full of so much love it makes me gush. uwu 

1. The Iron Giant 

There is absolutly nothing, NOTHING about this movie that I do NOT love! Like I’m gonna be real with you guys....I still cry everytime I watch this and I’m a full grown adult in college. This is such a underrated film and teaches so so much to its intended age group. “You are who you choose to be.” Such a empowering line that I still carry with me today. 

2. Spirit: Stallon of the Cimarron 

I was totally THAT horse girl in elementary school. I had the Spirit backpack, CD rom (do people even know what that is anymore) game, and 5th birthday party with themed plates. >-< But I still 100% love this movie with all my being. Not to mention freakin Bryan Adams singing throughout the WHOLE movie, there is only one other thing that can top this soundtrack.

3. The Road to El Dorado 

This is it. The ultimate soundtrack. EVERYTHING sang by the one and only Elton John! *Chef’s kiss* Bless. Plus, all the jokes and the energy this movie possed is just amazing. I don’t know how many times I have said, “Stars. Can’t do it. Not today.” As a means of why I can’t do something. (I can quote and sing this whole movie by the way.) 

4. Mrs. Doubtfire

My god I am getting emotional only thinking about this movie and Robin Williams! This is a movie that has basically stayed with my family for I don’t know how many years and we have watched it enough times everyone could probably quote it backwards. Mrs. Doubtfire is an all time favorite and Robbin Williams is amazing in it! 

5. X-Files

This is cheating because it’s not a movie.....BUT I love this show to death and nothing makes me happier than seeing Fox Mulder and Dana Scully fuck shit up together and uncover government conspriacies. POWER COUPLE!! This show is also part of my inspiration as to why I wanted to pursue forensic psychology in college and get my masters. 

6. Star Wars

The OG trilogy, all three of them back to back, my whole fam will cram into the living room with popcorn and that will be our day. Just Star Wars. AKA my childhood. 

7. Bumblebee

I was already a Transfomers fan before this movie came out, but after this came out it was like the fandom dumped a bucket of water on my head. Like holy shit! This movie is so pure, wholesome, and has a plot NOT driven by extremely hot women with boobs or explosions. Bumblebee actualy reminds me a little of my all time favorite movie The Iron Giant. 

Again thank you so much @ettawritesnstudies​ for tagging me in this! It really made my day and now I want to go watch all these movies! 

Tagging: @evergreen-dryad​ @josephinegerardywriter​ and @august-iswriting​

[aparticularbandit]

State of Bandit Fic

it’s been a couple of months since i posted one of these and i’d like to have one done by the end of the year SO here we go. under a read more for length.  my apologies, mobile users.

plans for the rest of the year:

roisa secret santa goes up next monday.  i still don’t know what i’ll post on the monday after that.  i have another chapter ish of falling written, but idk if that’s a direction i really want to go with that novel.  maybe, maybe not.  idk.

word count maintained 2k during november with only a few hiccups.  this month the first couple of weeks i had multiple days where word count was less than 1k.  i’ve gotten it back up to 1k and think that the sudden jump from main focus on roisa hp au to main focus on rss was part of the issue there (when i go and make sure i get 1k in the hp au, i tend to hit 2k again, so there’s that).  i plan to try and maintain the 1k to the end of the year with the hope that i reach a total of 400k written this year (at the end of november, i was at approximately 381.5k - give or take a few - which means i only needed to write 18.5k this month.  i have at least 11.5k in various other non-roisa hp au projects from this month, not including any word count from second writes, and i know i’ve done at least another 1k (probably 2k or more) in the roisa hp au - so i should be hitting that if i keep up the 1k minimum).

that Christmas project i said i started last year and wanted to finish this year won’t be finished in time for Christmas most likely so my apologies.  :/  it just takes more mental thought for less word count and my focus right now is on rss.  sorry.

plans for next year:

i’m very tentative on these, but this is what i’ve been thinking about (and may or may not actually do):

focus on five days a week at 1-2k with saturdays and sundays off - still plan on keeping word count on one of those days but giving the other one for second write for the monday update because i’ve found that trying to do the second write and final edits and get 1k written is really hard for me to do, especially with longer updates.  so i’m not going to push myself for that.

this also potentially allows me an additional day to spend editing or drafting other projects - like the roisa hp au or mexican stud or stuff like that which i want to be finished and go through another edit and possible betaing before posting - and while that might not be immediately, i like that space being open and available.

focus on finishing the rough draft of the first book of the roisa hp au and hopefullly get it through a second draft and betaing and polishing so that maybe it starts getting posted in july or august.

i was thinking july but we’ll see.  i don’t want to lock myself into something like i did with ACAL this year, and while i like having it set up for the beginning of the school year, i’m not sure that’s enough time.  i haven’t done this kind of editing/drafting/betaing before on a project - with the exception of noir fic, which...hasn’t been posted and got stalled in the fourth draft.

i also think that this would be in place of the monday updates instead of a separate update as i originally planned.  because this first book is currently 16 chapters long, that would give me multiple months to focus on other projects while they’re updating - and that time off was something i really wanted in july and ended up getting mostly in october and november.  so we’ll see.

possibly hosting roisa fic week probably around july 4th and then possibly hosting rss next year, as well, but with a longer application time (probably all of october, but unsure).

possibly pick-up lines month for january into february in time for valentine’s day.  still not sure.

more focus on personal projects.

i want to write my original fic and i’ve been focusing on fanfic and that’s not a problem but i should do some writing on my original fic, too.

not sure what this means yet because i plan to maintain monday updates because that’s been a good schedule for the past however many months and i like having that schedule.

i did set up a blog for that fantasy thing i mentioned a while back, but it’s...more complicated and something i want to ease into before bringing it up real big.  so.  in the wings.

time off from social media in january.

not sure how i’ll be doing this either, but i just want to take some time off from facebook/tumblr/twitter/etc.  i don’t think full blackout because i plan to still be posting links to chapter updates and such here, but i’ve found...i get really worn-out and waste so much time and i just.  want to see what happens.  idk.

so that’s that.

and then general fic updates:

posted but incomplete fics:

if you lived here, you’d be home now

no change from last update

started a reread, maybe that’ll help

jane: the real story

no change from last update

might be dead fic; i’m not super interested in continuing this

blame soulmate timer au

heart in motion

no change from last update

luisa and the child

aka the sequel to luisa and the fox

no change since last update with the exception of some brainstorming

sin rostro

holding off because other projects are louder right now.  still excited for this idea, though

emilia antonia

started the next chapter.

probably going to be focusing on this as one of my primary focuses in the new year.  actually i should poll about this.

falling

have another chapter written but not posted but not sure if want to keep that direction or not

started the chapter past that one as well

aftershocks

all of the current chapters are posted

back to back-burner

debating a flashback chapter

the time of your life

finished posting bitches get glitches

rafael’s fic - and the rest of this series - is one of my potential primary focuses in the new year.  i’m still really excited about this series and where it’s going.

have working titles for both rafael’s and petra’s fics.

apparently michael, who i hadn’t planned to have involved, is maybe going to actually show up.  i’m thinking his first appearance might be in petra’s fic, but i’m not sure on that point.

unposted fics:

where the lightning splits the sea:

aka roisa hp au

the first book rough draft is probably going to be my primary focus in the new year, as i stated above.

currently in chapter eleven of what i expect will be sixteen.  chapter lengths vary, so it’s possible that when i go through the second write i may change chapter divisions so that they aren’t too long for ao3 postings.

i’m still super excited to be writing this one and super excited to jump into this fic so - i haven’t hit burnout, which is amazing.

mexican stud

aka rosalint fic

no change from last update

probably a primary focus in the new year as stated above

everything’s coming up roses

no change from last update

various other soulmate aus

no change from last update

epic superhero crossover

aka jtv/tick/timeless/supergirl/x-files/agent carter/person of interest crossover

possibly also to include proven innocent and deputy in a tie-in with the x-files aspect - re: how to get mulder and scully directly involved and not just have the syndicate and world-building aspects

still getting bigger

obviously i have added in person of interest as part of the crossover - primarily because i pulled in wendy mcnally - bridget’s character - from one of the episodes not because i’m pulling in main characters or themes (although there’s a possibility of that)

i have started bits and pieces of this

mexican stud, obviously

mostly dottie/lint stuff

and then a few thousand words in collateral damage, which is basically the wendylu fic that explains what happens with luisa in the three years after rose’s death

the primary fic taking place three years after rose dies but there are a lot of other interconnecting fics that cover that period and earlier, etc.

i want this to be a primary focus, but it’s...complicated

timeless/noir fusion fic

HEY I STARTED IT

IT SHOULD BE REALLY COOL

LOOK IT’S EXCITING AND I WANT TO WRITE MORE OF IT

basic premise: lucy teams up with amnesiac!assassin!emma as they delve into secret societies and etc.

emma is an assassin and has amnesia.

rittenhouse doesn’t suck.

carol doesn’t suck.

lucy is still a history professor, but at amy’s behest (YEAH AMY’S ALIVE), she went to a smaller university somewhere else instead of going into carol’s department

idk who else will show up in the fic yet - emma probably has one of the machines but i’m not sure which one yet either, so that means probably should look at rufus/jiya/mason and maybe flynn BUT not sure

noir is very female-focused with no male main characters so trying to mesh that with timeless is complicated

the focus would need to be on emma and lucy and their relationship

as a result, this will likely end up being prestmore.

sorry not sorry.

there are other projects i’ve considered - like one with nymphs kind of related to something else, and pick-up lines month like i mentioned above, AND ALSO @only-freakin-sunflowers AND I MIGHT BE BRAINSTORMING A COLLAB PROJECT - but i think that’s a good place to stop for now.  ^^