#fowl family

[orangerosebush]

Interestingly, Artemis' decision to start wearing suits (and to dress more formally sensu lato) more or less follows the (presumed) death of his father and the mental break of his mother; what we see as Artemis' present-day, default sartorial styling is almost a kind of mourning attire. And, of course, I'm compelled by the many reasons (verging from banal to saddening) as to why Artemis never really stops dressing like this.

[arttsuka]

Draw this chicken

Into Robbie from Gravity Falls (your version of Robbie in the Gravity Fowls AU)

I didn't know there were roosters that are entirely black...

Although I think a crow would fit his whole theme better overall, plus he'd be named Crobbie.

Crow gif

[a-strange-brain]

“Enemies to lovers” this “enemies to lovers” that. I raise to you:

ENEMIES TO FOUND FAMILY

[fowltempered]

I think it says a lot about Artemis’ relationship with his father that the first thing he thinks when Fowl Sr. pulls a philosophical 180 and starts talking about how family is everything and the fortune is irrelevant in comparison to that is “Ah, the fairy magic must have changed his personality.”

What kind of a man was Fowl Sr. before that the concept of him putting his family above his fortune was so bizarre, so alien to Artemis that his first assumption was not that the trauma of being held hostage for two years had caused a psychological shift, caused him to re-prioritize, but that it must be fairy magic?

I know he saw Angeline’s mental health recover, so it’s not too far of a jump to make that assumption, but for it to be the first thing he thinks of?

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think he was some kind of horrendous monster, but when you put things together, Fowl Sr.? Sucks as a father. Neglectful at best and (unintentionally) emotionally abusive at worst.

We learn in TTP that Artemis had to email and schedule appointments to spend time with his father, and such “appointments” were (presumably) usually work-related, and that Artemis went to such lengths as standing on a specific flagstone by the hearth just because his father did not want to crane his neck when they spoke. His childhood was a time of “order and discipline” as stated by himself.

Then we see how he acts with the twins, how he lets them barge into the master bedroom and climb all over him, how he allows this childish behavior in them because…well…they’re children. And how Artemis laments that it’s “too late” for him. That he’s “too old” (He’s fourteen now, not counting his time in limbo. fourteen. Seventeen if you do include it, which is still not great.) Even hugging is off the table for him in his own mind.

Angeline assures him in TEC that this “change of heart” is to who Artemis Sr. used  to be before he took over the family business but Artemis has such a hard time believing that that it just makes me wonder how their interactions must have gone before he left for Murmansk.

I also just wonder about Artemis’ thoughts on his place in the family as the Heir(TM) and as the remnants of a past they so desperately want to leave behind. The twins will never know their father as the head of a criminal empire the way Artemis did. The expectations placed on him, and what kind of effect that might have on his concept of a future family. I’ve always personally read him as demi both on the romantic and sexual spectrum, but for the sake of the (assuming prior) expectation of “continuing the empire” for lack of a better way to put it, what sort of reservations does he have with the concept of being a father? Does he fear becoming like his own? Obviously by the end of the series that’s not an issue, but earlier on? Did he even think about it? I mean knowing Artemis he probably would have made a clone or something, but still. That’s a different rant though.

My point is that Artemis and his father have such a strained relationship and it’s keeping me up at night.

[jeydeearr]

"CARTOON COCKFIGHT!"

Day 26 of drawing whatever the hell I want because this year's Inktober prompts suck.

[whiskawaybelf]

Dol Amroth and their Swan Knights will never not be funny to me. Because yes, swans are elegant, of course the famously noble, very Numenorean family would have that as their banner. You know what swans also are? Territorial and absolutely feral if you approach their home and nesting site. (Mute swans are particularly vicious, many swans are just aggressively defensive, mute swans are actively dicks.)

I love the idea of of Imrahil and his family meeting important people and they're so put together and regal, and then you see them in battle and they are... so scary. I love a Lothiriel who seems so smooth and demure and then will absolutely punch the throat of anyone who touches her without permission, no hesitation, you should have known better than to the touch the Princess of Dol Amroth. I love this family of beautiful noble people who defend their home so viciously that they can bring the most troops of the principalities. What? Like it's hard? A family that will not hesitate to cut you but they'll also be the symbol for nobility and honour, with a Prince that even elves know is a pretty impressive person.

Give me the family of Dol Amroth who are loving and calculated and cold and deeply efficient at dealing with threats. Ones who surprise their enemies by being three steps ahead at all times, but 'Elphir could not have done this, he is so noble,' yeah buddy, but you hoarded grain during a siege so I hope you have fun in the Dol Amroth prisons until after Morannon when we can be bothered to deal with you.

Turncoats? Hard to turn a coat without any of the correct information and each and every one of your sources rounded up before you can warn them.

Slimy advisors? Eaten for dinner, Denethor; sad but we planned for this, Mordor and certain death? Sure, not a part of the plan but our knights are renowned for their battle prowess, let's go and tear Sauron a new one.

Give me noble, coldly efficient, wildly territorial and very slightly feral Dol Amarothians. I beg you. Make their swan a symbol of their absolutely unhinged defense of their beautiful, elegant home.

(But like wild oceans and massive mountains? I have a whole post about how this also gives us insight into Imrahil and his kids, or like, my version of them. Water and stone, commanding oceans and navigating massive peaks. The children of Dol Amroth grow up walking uphill both ways, their knees are scarred and bloody from slipping down sharp mountain paths and they are honed to their lands.)

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

sorry but if you immediately disbelieved that the Haitian immigrants were eating the cats and dogs of the people who live in Springfield, you’re too “educated” for your own good. you’re too “empathetic” for your own good.

Haiti is the poorest, most sociopolitically unstable country in the Western hemisphere. they are not “just like us” over there. plenty of third-world countries have eaten cats and dogs merely as a matter of cultural significance, no poverty necessary.

of bloody course they were eating the cats and dogs in Springfield.

[heatherthetiredwriter]

That sad moment when AO3 only has 2 works matching your search..... like please my crops are dying and only an Artemis Fowl crossover with the BatFam will save them......

[goopylittleghosty]

Imagine leaving one world to save another. It feels a day you have been gone-less than a day. You said you would return. And you do.

And it has been three years. Three entire years-you are still the age you were when you left. For you it has been a couple of hours, while everyone you knew grew older. While they lost hope and grieved and moved on.

Three years. Was it worth it?

[big19boss-blog]

So, I was thinking that the irony of TCF is that Cale-nim would absolutely love to read a book like Trash of the Count's Family too. It's literally his type. Happy ending (hopefully), smart MC, a team of professionals who are ever-growing powerful, major power players.

Which got me thinking what other books would Cale-nim love?

And here are my guesses:

Artemis Fowl

Ending Maker

I'll be the Head in this life

Sherlock Holmes

The Da Vinci Code/ Robert Langdon Series

Solo Levling

Percy Jackson

Lord of the Rings/ Hobbit

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd

Omniscient Readers Viewpoint

[fowlblue]

All jokes aside, while I understand that Butler has always been incredibly loyal to Artemis regardless of what was being asked… like, it was legitimately an insane thing for Artemis to do to even ask Butler to come into space with him/put him in that position.

Like I guarantee you, if Butler and Artemis hadn’t needed to be removed at a distance for the TFT series, I’m sure that is the one thing Butler would have refused Artemis.

[orangerosebush]

At once, Artemis sees Butler as a father figure who must acquiesce to all his whims.

Yet, it is true that :

1) Butler doesn't see Artemis as a son per se (eg B1 and B5, Butler thinks of Artemis as akin to a little brother or younger close friend - hard to see yourself in a paternal role for someone over whom you have little power)

and 2) Artemis takes up the space in Butler's life that would be occupied by a child.

Relatedly.

Can you even like. imagine. how much of a nightmare Artemis would be if Butler ever had a child

[bittersuite-iv]

blood running from my eyes as i read the artemis fowl series and try to force this ensemble cast into a found family with my mind

[a-suspicious-lack-of-bagel]

hello I am back and I'm having THOUGHTS about Artemis fowl

in book 3, it's mentioned in passing that Root set the airspeed record 80 years ago

it's mentioned several times that Holly is in her 80s

therefore, Root's already a Recon officer during Holly's childhood

i'm FAIRLY sure it's mentioned that Holly's mum died pretty early in her life from radiation poisoning

Holly's dad is never mentioned

therefore, there's a decent chance that Root's the only parental figure Holly has; or he's just. straight up her dad.

anyways. the Angst? the Trauma?? of book 4??!? FUCK opal koboi for this shit, and thanks Eoin for giving me Numbers to think about.

[biranian]

i love wallace and gromit

[writebackatya]

Pepper seems like the kind of F.O.W.L. employee that would have made brownies for everyone the first time she sat down in their inner circle

Bradford: Well everyone, on the behest of Phantom Blot, Pepper will now be joining us in our inner circle

[scatter confused claps, except for from Phantom Blot who is applauding for his best friend]

Pepper: Aw, thank you Mr. Buzzard, sir. Now I know to the rest of you I might just be Egghead No. 277, but I assure you I am the best Egghead F.O.W.L. has got! Of course that’s just my opinion so take that with a grain of salt…

Rockerduck: {coughs}

Pepper: {laughs} Get it!? Grain of salt? Cause my name is Pepper?! {sighs happily before pulling out a tray of brownies} Anyway, I baked us all brownies for my first day here!

Gandra & Steelbeak: Sweet!

Bradford: What? No! Pepper this is not the break room! We conduct business in this room!

Black Heron: As well as our other evil plans.

Bradford: For the last time! We are not evil! Our goal is to have complete control over the world and eliminate Scrooge McDuck and his chil—, Agent Dee! What are you doing?

Gandra: {grabbing a brownie Pepper has cut up for her} I didn’t eat breakfast this morning.

Bradford: Put that back, now!

Gandra: {makes eye contact with Bradford as she slowly takes a bite of the brownie} Mmm. These are great Pepper, are there walnuts in here?

Pepper: Ahh! {winks} Looks like someone has an advanced palate!

Gandra: Thanks I upgraded my tongue myself.

Steelbeak: Well if Gandra gets a brownie I sure as hell am getting a brownie!

Bradford: I don’t care if Agent Dee took a brownie, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to take one.

Gandra: Yeah Steelbeak, if I took the SATs would you do the same?

Steelbeak: Are you calling me “stupid”?!

Gandra: Today? No. Today I’m gonna call you dumbass, dumbass.

Steelbeak: {slams his fist on the table} Take that back, now!

Gandra: No.

Steelbeak: That’s it, I’m taking a brownie!

Bradford: Agent Dee, stop being an instigator. And Steelbeak don’t you da-

Steelbeak: {chomps down several brownies} Mmm, okay these are pretty great. Is there dark chocolate in here?

Pepper: And that’s a point for Steelbeak!

Black Heron: Did you say, dark chocolate? Okay I am definitely having one now

Bradford: Heron, no! You’ll only encourage-

Rockerduck: I’ll take two. I just realized I forgot to feed Jeeves this morning

Pepper: Sure thing! You sure you don’t want one, Mr. Buzzard?

Bradford: No. I’m fine.

Phantom Blot: {slams his fist onto the table} Just eat the DAMN brownie, Buzzard!

Bradford: …Fine.

Pepper: {cuts up brownies for everyone} Oh I just KNOW I’m gonna LOVE working with everyone here!