#four more weeks and im free...
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me finding out we could’ve gotten a full childhood bff haechan fic 😔😔😔 would’ve ate that up so hard
also i realised i haven’t sent an ask to u since june and why is this hella fun. i feel like im living a double life rn 😼
anyway im on anon bc i had to join in on the chemistry complaining… like wdym i have a 60% final exam next week and only three days to study for it right after two other finals that are back to back ha ha hah…
- 🌱
HEHE i wish i would've finished writing it too 😞 i'll put a little snippet of it just for u under the read more...
I MISSED U THOUGH... i'm like three seconds away from revealing ur true identity tell me that haechan wants me more than u and i'll keep it a secret
everyone whos doing ochem or chem or literally any stem course.. please feel free to complain w me bc i'll complain too... trying to say it's not over for the both of us but i have an exam next week too and our prof just told us to teach ourselves sn1 and e1 reactions haha... lol... so funny... i'm lmaoing so hard.... professor u are so silly!!!!
but here is the little snippet... maybe i can make u feel better 🫂❤️
#asks#🌱 anon#i need to drop out#I WONT#but i need to#i've dropped out five times in my head already#four more weeks#four more weeks and im free...
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hi i have been inactive for a while due to the chk chk boom. hope you understand.
#HI HELLO BESTIES I WISH I COULD UPDATE YOU GUYS BUT I HAVE BEEN SUPER BUSY AND CONSUMED BY THE HORRORS™#basically im moving out the country in like four days so packing has been a whole ordeal#not to mention i'm procrastinating feeling my feelings#my three month gre prep plan turned into a one week prep reality T-T my unofficial score is 321 out of 340 which is... idrk#i was in the middle of a lot of things and given the level of time and energy i was able to commit amidst the chaos... it's not too bad.#OH ALSO i got done with the round one registration for my courses today and it was a MESS#(technically only the in-dept courses were due today. the ones from the other depts were due 17th. either way. the website was being cruel)#oh and as for out-dept courses it's a different procedure but I managed to get Intro to ML! absolutely insane given my meager coding skills#as well as my shaky understanding of engineering calculus. in other words welcome back my arch nemesis slash lover miss mathematics#oh and! all my friends are also moving away which basically means the past week has been meeting my besties and trying not to cry#i've been reading a bit as well! i read assistant to the villain and it was simply the cutest book ever i need the sequel SO BAD#OH AND GOSE IS BACK so that's been fun#so yeah that's what's up#i really wished i had more time to update on here I had a really cool idea for this week but i've been too exhausted sighhh#hope you guys have been doing well also please feel free to text or tag me on posts i might not be able to reply but i love reading updates#sending lots of hugs and chocolates to all my beloveds <3#oh oh also please go check out skz's comeback it's so good!#okay it's like 12:26am now ima go sleep now gnight byeeee#megumi in the tags#megumi.fm
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Happy Baltimore Pride, the parade starts in 3 and a half hours and I'm already exhausted
#am i excited to be in the parade for the first time ever? yes. am i as an audhd disaster already overwhelmed? yuh.#also like. for all the team/the pres and the few sober members are trying to make it safe for us pride just isnt sober/recovery friendly#like on the grand scheme big picture culturally i mean. yes you can easily avoid alcohol during daytime hours at the streetfair etc#but ive only seen one event very clearly advertise no alcohol. the rest is very much the shots shots rail liquor sponsored by x booze etc#and thats not to say it shouldn't be im not trying to ruin the fun for everyone else thats not what this is.#its more an observation of - damn. im four months into recovery with alcohol as an autistic bipolar person. this might suck.#like this might be really hard and not be as fun as I'd hoped and I'm grieving the fact i never got the experience the pride others did#the free unhinged party that my teammates have been constantly talking about in the chat for the last week#they're already cracking open beers im sure and the grilling starts at 11am at our parade spot so that they can start drinking and save $#im used to being on the outside of the glass but its always a smidge uncomfortable. it helps having sober teammates with me#but a part of me worries about this weekend i guess.#just... not feeling great in our body. bones feel wrong. everything feels tired and heavy. poor monster doesn't want to be seen.
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“hey so there’s been a bunch of exposures recently but we’re gonna have the volunteer party this week bc it’s outdoors so we’ll be fine. yeah it’s a bunch of people all talking maskless face to face in relatively close proximity but we’re outside so any transmission would of course be impossible” be so fucking for real
#i love this place i love volunteering there. they have air purifiers around the center and tell people in no other words that if they’re#feeling unwell in the slightest they shouldn’t come in. they’re offering free tests to anyone exposed. they’re doing so much more than so#many other places and a lot of times it’s a place im able to relax a bit#but im just. exhausted. a week from tomorrow will be the three year anniversary of my dad dying from covid so im already in a bad place#plus covid in general is a trigger for me because. yknow. i watched it slowly strangle the life from my father until he was a grey#breathless husk who couldn’t walk three steps or say three words without panting. and that was when we made him go to the hospital#and then the next time he came home it was just his ashes in a bag#but it’s been four years. five if you count the early cases that popped up in 2019. and we’re still dealing with this shit#im just tired of it. im too exhausted to have a full sobbing shaking breakdown so ive gone to the other end of the spectrum and just feel#heavy and hollow. i should probably have a big cry but i don’t have the tears or energy#vent tw#im just hoping my n95 and the air purifiers were enough to keep me from contracting it at all. the worry is the n95 could’ve been loose and#sometimes the metal on the nose loosens slightly but the mask was pretty new overall so im hoping it worked to its full capacity and kept#out any covid molecules so that i didn’t contract any#only time will tell i suppose. in the mean time#im just praying a lot bc that’s the only control i have. i will be saying the shema whenever i get too stressed about it
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it’s finally starting to settle in that christmas is in 3 fucking days
#like. it doesnt even feel like winter#maybe i’m js getting older but last i checked i was counting down the hours and it was getting hard to sleep at night#it was a “its finally cold out! my favorite time of year! we’re off on break! christmas is almost here!”#n now its a “oh right christmas. free stuff”#my parents apparently have something big planned for my 18th this year and i can’t bring myself to even look forward to it?#like. yeah. my fucking eighteenth birthday is in like a week#and the start of a new year is less of a celebration and more of a sigh of relief#its more of a “yippee. another year. at least it’s a fresh start.”#i think this is the 2020 effect#2020 was 4 years ago guys. that is absolutely insane#its not even nostalgia it’s just “wow. okay.”#its like getting punched in the gut yk#2020 was the last year the holidays felt right.#now my whole life feels like a blur and i cannot believe it was four whole years ago#and now we’re entering 2024 with nothing but see you again by tyler the creator and a few loose hopes#the election is this year#maybe things will fix themselves and go back to normal#thats all ive ever wanted since 2020 ended. was for things to just be normal#after the masking mandates were lifted i felt like maybe they could#but im just kinda being rushed through life#and i wish it would just be normal.
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Man. Leaving a toxic relationship is just an exercise in learning how to live in your own head again.
#lot going on in here folks :'(#but also :')#for a few weeks i couldnt be alone couldnt be in silence couldnt just. think.#im loving myself again. im laughing and connecting and god im so excited for what comes next#june 19th lana..... you are my soulmate my rock my queen you are everything to me#bc june 19th lana had the strength to leave#june 19th lana swept me off my fucking feet and she fought and yelled and stayed up for 4 days straight#so that 4 days later i could be free again <3#i will work so fucking hard for june 19th lana.... i never want her to have any regrets... any whatifs....#im going to give june 19th lana the life she hopes shes fighting for#those four days were torture... moving... yelling... crying crying crying... more moving... driving...#she did that... for me....#literally she talked to me often... she would sit amongst the boxes and fear and heartbreak and shed talk to her future self#which ig is me <3 and shed tell me how she loved me and how i better not screw this up and she begged me to love her again#god i love her again. i love that mess of a girl. beautiful and strong and terrible! and she got out despite the torture.#june 19th lana. also june 20th 21st and 22nd lana. i hear you. you will have such a beautiful wonderful life i swear#one you will never ever second guess#he fucking killed us! he killed you! the connection the devotion the love it masked the insidious truth that you had to die for that shit#the life he could give you...its pathetic compared to what im gonna give you.#and unlike every promise he ever made... i never go back on my word :)#ok bye
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The shit I have in store for y’all. . . The urge to post a wip but NAY I say ‼️‼️ I will hold back and complete these damn things with COLOR
#im sitting on more than 3 wips and progress is slow#however starting august I got new work hours.#now instead of working five days a week leaving me tired AF from all the commuting#I have four days a week of work and THREE days off every week#Ohhhh the time off is gonna be ~awesome~#and I haven’t had as much free time as I did when I was a student#which coincidentally is when I was rapid firing all my douman drawings (sobs)#I can’t wait to get back into that sort of posting but of course that’s gonna happen once my new shift in august starts#anyways!!!!!!!!!#that’s the update#sorry it’s been so slow
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mother tried to feed us pizza dough from the freezer that had a best before date of 2017. only reason she didn't was because it wasn't elastic anymore so she couldnt make a pizza with it................
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not gonna lie girls the dog club's internal communication is Abysmal
#ive been here almost four years and still know next to nothing about how the club operates internally#well im not an executive. which thank fucking god#there's like at least 50 something official members and god knows how many alumni and mysterious volunteers#you have to deal with the public. students. some weird guy who likes to scatter chicken remains around. other dog owners.school admin#half the time you go in and there's like 5 other people whos names you dont know (you just kinda mutually know the dogs but not each other)#and you have to vibe check your way into knowing how old they are how long theyve been here whats their name do they know what theyre doing#policies for letting dogs out? *mumbling* *side glances* *more mumbling* *shrug*#the club teacher is from what i gather (respectfully) some batty old woman whose inner machinations are unknown#every time she comes by everyone groans a collective groan of dismay and she tries to let all the dogs out (???)#anyway ive been mysteriously roped into monday morning medicine feeding.... for like a month and a half straight.... girl why#guy literally went hey you. you free in the morning. and neglected to mention till i said yes that he meant TILL JUNE 16TH#goodbi to my sleepytime mondays....#they caught the dog yesterday and that was it no official announcement or shift schedule posted or anything#and i had to message the guy being like. so like. starting. this week?? or...? and he was like yah#guess ill have to just go there tomorrow and Figure It Out#like its not that bad. but jesus christ the communication skills. nightmarish#the ho rambles
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87 PITY
I WON THE 50/50
WHOOOOOO
LETS GOOOOOOOO❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️
#im not sure ill be able to even reach soft pity for her by god am i gonna try#at least theres a free 10 pull right? ill at least be able to reach 70 with that#ohhhhh i wont be able to pull on any other banners if i get her#because if i win its going to be like. 360 warps for a 100% guarantee of character and light cone#which is. nearly 58k stellar jades.#and SURE theres bound to be a lot of free warps and stellar jades and the likelihood of having to reach hard pity 4 times is really low#but still that is a LOT especially since ive only gotten. um. around 5k in the entire 1.3 patch.#but that was AFTER dhil and his light cone so... theres a chance at least#if i continue a rate of 5k per patch (which lasts five weeks)#then (assuming that 5* march will be in a 2.0 banner and there will be four more patches before that) i should reach around...#20k stellar jades and 25 warps (from the monthly shop)#i havent done forgotten hall yet (no second team) so thats obviously a bit more but that'll be really hard probably...#ANYWAY enough of being a downer and thinking of math congratulations!!! ms. evil moon is yours!!!#mb and kiwi scream about hats
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ignoring everybody in my phone, sorry not sorry ;_;
#i have been canceled on or weirded out too many times in the past four days#journal shit#you know how the baseball player was bragging about all the celebrities and best hiking spots he knew and how LA was better than my home?#and it turned out he wasnt a hiker at all according to his friends?#well this new guy is bragging about dancing spots in the city#im fucking tired of the bragging i dont care#but he may actually be legit so maybe next week ill think about it. i already told him i was busy this weekend#i feel like its really not actually hard to impress me#just be smart and very fucking funny have good timing and know when to surprise#like instead of bragging about something orchestrate a way for me to discover it#my point being if you're the one who introduces me to the turtle pond which is fucking free btw im going to be a lot more impressed#than the person who knows all the hot spots in town because they think it makes them look cool#or driving lmao#skilled driving is always sexy to me i am a DISASTER for someone who is good behind the wheel#i have a certain friend who im absolutely not attracted to#EXcEpT for when he is driving like fucking hell it's hot the way he takes those curves lol#one time i volunteered to ride along with him for 45 minutes both ways in LA traffic to drop off his watch for repair just so i could#watch him drive 🤣#thats over an hour and a half of LA traffic i mean#or god timmy whenever we are together if im not making him laugh hes making me laugh i dont think there is a minute we arent giggling#why is it so hard to find someone who combines all three :(#or even just one who isnt already in a relationship :(
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Can’t wait to go visit my brother who lives 7 hours away next weekend because it means I’ll finally have time to listen to this in its entirety:
#lmao don't get me wrong i wanna see my brother#but its not every day you get four consecutive hours of free time to listen to a radio play#i already know there's at least one added scene that isn't in the comics so im excited to see what else they've added#just have to make it thru one more week lol#ramblings
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if there's one thing i hate more than slackers in group projects its goddamn hypocrites
#this guy did jack shit for two full weeks when we're building the damn prototype#but STILL brought up the fact that most of our team blew off a report till the last minute in the beginning of march#*prototypes don't work* “sEe tHis iS wHy wE nEedEd tO hAvE a cOnvErsaTioN aBouT MS3”#like hon you lost the rights to the “y'all need to contribute more” argument the moment you left me hanging for 2-3 FUCKING WEEKS#like excuuuuuse me you been prioritizing extra curriculars all week get off your high horse stop lecturing everyone else about contribution#he made maybe 3 contributions? maybe?#first he 3D modeled an adapter and sent it to someone else to print (couldn't even do THAT himself smh)#then he sent the gc a sketch of an idea i roughly proposed literally the NIGHT BEFORE as his own contribution (that I ENDED UP BUILDING#then he...screwed on a few pipe fittings and called it a project :)#would be a LOT less pissed if he didn't show up to One Thing outside weekly team meetings/class#then apologize for slacking off BUT then launch into a FUCKING SPEECH ABOUT HOW HIM BEING HERE PROVES HIS COMMITTMENT#all because he DOESN'T LIKE GETTING UP EARLY. like sir. sir i am rIGHT FUCKING HERE. i was up till 4-5am working on this stfu#we've been building for three weeks and he's come into work on stuff wo me there ONCE for an HOUR#for context id spent about fifteen hours in the shop alone working on the fucking thing that WEEK#like im trying to be understanding ik tech week is hell#but i took “stepping back” as “i only have a few hours here and there to be in the shop and will do the writeups���#NOT “won't show up outside meetings AND we're splitting slides and writeups 80/20”#like id been in the lab all fuckin day and notice we have an assignment due (missed a SINGLE meeting due to exam)#and i ask him if theres anything i can do (and im thinking like look it over maybe add a spec or two)#and this fucker has the AUDACITY to ask me to write the full four paragraph summary cause he#*checks notes* copy-pasted some specs from milestone 3 so of COURSE its only fair that despite the fact I've been in the lab ALL DAY#that i write the four fuckin paragraphs too#course we're troubleshooting and he's like “did you clean the pump? did you disassemble it and rinse it?” like yes???#i did EVERYTHING i could think of before i even bothered texting you cause i know you're fucking useless#and then he raises fifteen different concerns which while valid would have been NICE TO HEAR WHEN I SENT YOU MY INITIAL DESIGNS#y'know BEFORE i spent over fifteen hours of my free time building this damn thing#with slackers i just pick up the work and move on with my life this idiot is trying to gaslight me into thinking that he contributed fairly#when i heard “i need to step back due to play stuff” i thought we'd be splitting it like 65:35 NOT FUCKING 95:5#and now hes probably going to give ME a poor peer review because I've been passive aggressive with him in the few meetings he showed up to#like i got shit going on too? how the fuck does he expect me to respond to being abandoned to do this shit myself
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I'm so nervous about how this book is going to end, the next one doesn't come out till the end of November and I'm getting more and more concerned the closer I get to the end (;ŏ﹏ŏ)
#i am full of fear#i have accidentally seen some things#but for the most part ive stayed free#i have not forgotten where book four of mdzs ends and im afraid they will do something similar with book seven of tgcf#I'll have to wait months for the last one 😭#on a similar note#i have made a mistake by letting myself get too wrapped up in mxtx's books#im tempting fate by looking at the mdzs stuff#twitter has been even more dangerous#it's just everywhere and i cant escape it 😭#but at the same time the art work is so pretty (✯ᴗ✯)#i changed my phone wallpaper a couple weeks ago to match my current hyper fixation#before that it was my other main fandom#im just rambling#i am once again talking about tgcf
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Game Night: CHAIN ATTACK!!!
i am,,, withering away but ITS DONE ITS DONE IM FREE FROM THE CURSE (<<< still haunted by wips) clocking in at 32+ hours, this sucker has been getting pushed around for 10 months-
while theres some things i would have done differently if i could redo this from scratch, i still had a BLAST cramming in as much detail as i could tolerate >:) some highlights / cut ideas / ramblings are below the cut, but please zoom for details! (if tumblr doesnt shred it to bits)
gonna be real i locked so hard onto drawing ripped jeans that i forgot i could have just shoved legend into a skirt and called it a day
SOCKS. SOCKS. the amount of Joy anytime i figured out how to personalize them with game references: legend (hibiscus), twilight (ordon goats), and four (force gems)
i WAS going to put time in a turtleneck, but had an epiphany and started digging for the most obnoxious hawaiian shirts i could find,,, ft. a sea flower (wind waker) and a saturation boosted plumm (twilight princess)!
yeah so warriors got the sweater instead of the skintight shirt, sorry gang
speaking of if i ever say im going to draw a cableknit sweater again, somebody PLEASE shake some sense into me- warriors sweater was a NIGHTMARE since my art program has an astonishing lack of good brushes (and yet here i am still using it)
MOST of the text has been modified using the twilight princess cipher because yeah. i was procrastinating shading. also the other ciphers were in japanese- times shirt is cropped, but reads "its 5 oclock somewhere"
winds lobster shirt :) that is all i just think its neat
wilds jacket :) link w(ild) 2017, aka the release year of botw
jewelry! sky has the fireshield earrings, and wild has the amber earrings~ could barely squeeze the bombos and quake medallions onto legend, and wind got the joy pendant
hyrule :D embroidery on his sweatpants because i was struck by whimsy- also i 100% thought his shield was purple tinted for weeks while drawing this because the page i used as reference was set at night, and i was originally basing his sweater on his shield- scrapped the cross pattern after several failed attempts but kept the color ^^
the chips are bbq because im biased (reads "crisps" in twilight princess cipher for no real reason except whimsy)
bless my dearest homie for game reccs because the og plan was to have them all be loz games! titles include wii sports resort, elebits, super mario party, smash bros ultimate, just dance 2016 (its box art is colorful ok), and myth makers orbs of doom (I HATE THIS GAME WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING, as i should, anyways i should play it again). four is suggesting orbs of doom, buddy aint even playing,,,
kinda was hoping to play around with hair colors and skin tones a bit more, but again, see the hour count- ill get em next time surely,,, also blue vs violet eyes for legend already had me in decision paralysis
the whole gang was gonna have friendship bracelets with color combos based on dynamics i found neat but oops! didnt finish the layer :')
thats a wrap! didnt yap about everything but im curious what yall catch onto- anyways surely ive learned something about biting off more than i can chew (<<< lying liar who lies)
#linkeduniverse#linked universe#lu legend#lu wild#lu twilight#lu hyrule#lu wind#lu warriors#lu time#lu sky#lu four#my art#digital art#fanart#id say finishing this feels like a weight off my back but its straight up not registered yet#anyways i dont do group pieces but i love that lu is the thing driving me to try more ambitious stuff#out of my comfort zone but GRGGRGRGRGGRGRR if you get what I mean (<<< devastating incurable case of brain rot)
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me vs the assignments I have to do but really don't want to do
#bella talks#six more is six too many#one of them is basically done but like. very bare minimum#tbh it's for a pass/fail course so I really should just hand it in#I have another assignment die Friday and thats mostly just editing & reworking some stuff#then. four more.#im trying to convince myself it's not that bad don't mind me kddjkdkdkskd#but like next week is the last week of classes#I have a group project thing due Tuesday that nobody talked about yet so??? idk what Im supposed to do about that#then it's the seminar journal thing that I'm horriblely behind on#BUT we only have to hand in the contents page + the three entries we reflect on so I might just lie <3#and add a bunch of entries to the contents that I didn't write because I do not have time lmao#then it's stupid pass/fail assignment that I might just. writing completely in one day or something I don't really care about it#it's not like it matters or anything#and then my final assignment due on Easter Monday which is a psych infographic#I have no idea what I'm doing for that tbh but I'll figure it out#and after that Im free <3 mostly I still have exams lmao
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