#found this in ig comments and couldn't resist

[monacodive]

today in the chronicles of women in motorsport...

[tashid4]

Fwb with Katsuki

You were standing in front of the mirror. Final mascara touch-ups, shiny lip gloss. Still only wearing your underwear, undecided about your outfit choice, you suddenly heard a knock on the door. You assumed it was your bestfriend coming to pick you up, you opened the door of your room. But turns out it wasn't her. Katsuki was standing in front of you. Not even bothered by the fact you were half naked in front of him.

Thing is - it definitely wasn't the first time he saw you like this. Definitely not. You and him have been seeing each other in secret for a while now. He would text you when he needed to release some stress. And he would always answer your calls, in the middle of the night when you needed him...

You brought him inside and made him sit on the bed so you could finish getting ready. "What are you doing here?" you asked while applying your favorite lipstick. Dark red. Cherry blood. "I was leaving and I thought I could see my favorite girl before". His comment made you slightly chuckle. Of course he was here for a reason. You had no problem with that. It was a deal. Only sex, no complicated feelings.

Having sex with Katsuki was profitable for you. He was attentive, understanding, open-minded and so fucking sexy. Sex with him was a treat, a blessing.

You put down your lipstick and start walking toward him. Exaggerating every move, swinging your hips and staring at him with big doe eyes. "You also going to the party?" "Yes, Kiri asked me" While you talked you found a place on his lap and slowly started to kiss his neck. Leaving a trail of cherry red kisses on his neck and collar. "You planning on founding a girl uh? Taking her back to your room?" "Yeah probably" You liked that he was honest with you, never hiding anything from you. You knew every one of each others dirty secret. You weren't dating so there was nothing wrong with him sleeping with other girls right ? So why were you feeling this pinch in your stomach ...?

He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. Definitely not a soft one. It was rough and passionate like it always was. It was messy and rushed. The expensive Cologne he wore, that you loved so much, filled your lungs and you couldn't resist him anymore. Pushing him on the bed, towering him you start to straddle his lap. "You're gonna find a nice girl uh ? Gonna kiss her on the same bed you fuck me every night ?" "Hmph fuck yes" He stares intensely at your swollen lips, the feeling of your ass rubbing on him driving him insane. He can't help but look at you with admiring eyes. "But I'll always be your favorite right baby? ""Yes my favorite girl"

You knew this was wrong. You knew friends with benefits don't act like this. But you were so obsessed with this man. You were ready to take everything he was giving you. Even if, for the moment, it was just sex.

Hiii it's been so long since i posted smth oopsie but ig we can say im back now. Hope you enjoyed this short fic ^^

[jackassbrainrot]

hot mess [knoxville x bam]

desc: The jackass guys are out partying and Knoxville can't take his eyes off Bam. Bam is determined to prove he's not a kid anymore.

a/n: loosely based on the song hot mess by cobra starship, not proofread and written in the middle of the night per usual, probably gonna rework this one

warnings: smut, oral, drinking, knoxville is mean ig

word count: 725

Knoxville was sitting at the bar, half listening to whatever Dunn and Pontius were talking about next to him, sipping on his overpriced beer. His eyes were fixed on the dancefloor, or well, one specific person.

Bam had just turned 21 and was making the most of it. His moves were sloppy, his eyeliner smudged, his hands on the hips of a girl whose name he didn't care to remember. He was on top of the world.

Knoxville doesn't know how long he'd been staring at his co-star before their eyes locked. Bam looked confused for a second, before his expression morphed into a smug smirk. 'Arrogant brat,' Knoxville thought to himself, downing the rest of his beer.

The skateboarder stumbled towards the bar, leaning against it right next to Knoxville. "Gonna buy me a drink?" the young man slurred, that obnoxiously charming smile still painting his lightly reddened face. "Sure thing, sweetheart." That southern drawl and the pet name made Bam shiver, his confidence waning for a brief moment.

Bam didn't know what he was doing, the alcohol in his system clearly taking over. Sure, he found Knoxville attractive, and yeah, maybe the way Johnny looked at him like a predator watching his prey turned him on and-

His train of thought was cut off when the older man handed him his drink. He downed it in one swig, face scrunching up from the bitter taste. Knoxville watched him with amusement, a hint of something else sparkling in those big brown eyes of his. Bam came up with the best plan his drunk mind could conjure. "Think I'm gonna puke." He said, standing up and pulling Johnny towards the bathroom with him.

As soon as the bathroom door shut, Bam caged the bigger man against it, his hot breath against Johnny's ear. "Y'know, I felt you starin' the whole time. What, you jealous?" Knoxville laughed then, both at the position they were in and the drunk man's question. "She's not really my type." He leaned against the door nonchalantly, staring down at his costar.

"But I am." Bam said playfully, looking up at the older man with those big doe eyes no one seemed to be able to resist. Johnny laughed again. "You're so self absorbed, kid." The skateboarder's expression changed, his ego bruised.

"I'm not a kid."

"Prove it then."

Bam didn't like being underestimated and he for sure wasn't letting Johnny goddamn Knoxville patronize him. He was determined to prove the older man wrong.

What Johnny didn't expect was for Bam to fall to his knees in front of him, haphazardly unbuckling his belt and pulling his half hard cock out of his pants. "Not your type at all, huh?" The younger man snickered before wrapping his hand around the shaft and pumping slowly. Knoxville groaned at the contact, which only spurred the younger man on. Bam started slowly licking and kissing every part of Johnny's dick, taking his sweet time. "Quit bein' a tease." Knoxville gritted through his teeth. Bam hummed, so satisfied with himself as he slowly took his friend's cock all the way down his throat.

Knoxville couldn't help but moan at the scene playing out in front of him. Bam's red and swollen lips wrapped so perfectly around him, hair sticking to his forehead from sweat and those damn blue eyes staring right up at him. "Look like a girl with your makeup messed up like that." Knoxville teased, not expecting Bam to moan and pick up the pace at the comment.

Taking a handful of Bam's hair, the older man began fucking the younger man's mouth with little care for his comfort. "Gonna cum in that smart mouth of yours, brat." Bam felt a blush creep up his body at the crude words, moaning as he felt Knoxville's cum spilling down his throat.

Bam pulled off Knoxville's cock with a pop, breathing heavily. Knoxville tucked himself back into his pants, looking down at the man kneeling in front of him before his eyes stopped at his crotch. "Did you seriously cum in your pants from sucking me off?" A cruel smile spreading across his face as he watched the younger man take in what he said.

"See, just a kid."

And with that, he left Bam still kneeling on the dirty floor, thoroughly embarrassed and wanting more.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Margeaux was actually 21 at the time of Richards wedding

I was going to end the discussion on the topic, but couldn't resist a bit of a google.

So i found Margaux's birthyear listed as 1984 somewhere on the almighty internet, and the wedding year of Richard to Caron Bernstein as 1999.

That would make her 15, but i remembered having seen photos of Margaux attending that wedding, where she looked young, but not '15 young'. Also Caron and Margaux were supposedly friends (until Richard Nd Margaux hooked up, we won't go into that, because the ladies' catfight over it on IG a few years back was unsavory enough), and i wondered how that would have happened.

So i went to Margaux's IG and found the repost of that photo at the wedding (which she reposted without the catfight), and would you know it, someone asked her in the comments how old she was there, and she replied '23' (after a quick rethink, she first said 21).

And as i believe in going with what a person themselves says (until proven otherwise), we'll go with that 🌺

[xtrablak674]

Arbitrary Death Notifications

Clicking on an Instagram notification of someone I possibly knew, according to the wording, I discovered this person was in fact a friend of a former curator of mine, not actually anyone I knew. I don't usually click on those things, but the thumbnail looked like a cute guy and I couldn't resist. It took seconds to discover they they had a photo of her posted and something in the comments about how she had passed suddenly. #WTF

My head spun for a while cause, I thought I could recall seeing her logged in on Facebook recently, I remember thinking how nice she looked in her bangs and darker coloured hair, I love a sharp bang. I clicked over to her IG and there was no clear indication of her passing. Someone had even commented that they DM'd her and didn't get a response.

Finally, I followed some of the people she followed to someone I knew she knew from the gallery, she was the former director of. He/they had posted about their dear friend passing, and their post was dated in August. I logged into my late grandmothers memorial FB account. I put in her name and saw the post on her wall to her obituary, I clicked, she had died seventeen days after her forty-first birthday. #WellDamn

This had me fucked up. Because first I thought she was older than me, and second they said it was natural causes. I had my own suspicions that it may have been indeed natural causes related to some long-term illness or disease she had, because albeit she was very sweet I could tell from her physical appearance that something was a little off. I was too discreet to inquire what it was exactly.

The bigger issue for me is this is all too common, I have gotten to a place in my life where folks are just dead or dying. As my girlfriend pointed out, you have a lot of folks who have passed in their forties, and she was right. My moms died at forty-four, my father short of his forty-fourth birthday, his son my youngest brother died at forty-three the same age as our dad. My friend from my activism days, died in his forties. Forty is the new eighties...

It puts it all into context when I was on the internets a few months ago, looking to see if folks were still alive. Not to reconnect, but just to see if they were still breathing. I was a little disturbed that this was even a thing. Its an aspect of our society that I really don't like, that people pass from this world, and unless they have accomplished something significant they don't get much more than a paragraph or two on some obscure funeral home's website obituary.

A friend, and I can use that word with confidence, who was a former co-worker died and him I was looking to reconnect with and found that he had passed. I am not saying I was devastated, but I was shocked. And for a few years after his passing I did consciously seek to remember him every year around his going home.

I want to do something different for myself, my estate planning which I was supposed to accomplish this year has still eluded me. But on my mental list is a contact sheet for my attorney to attempt to fulfill to the best of their ability, let folks know I am no longer here.

Mind you I don't think a lot of folks are even really thinking of me, but I hold them in my thoughts, and want folks to be well whether I speak to them or not. I think its important to let folks know, so if even for a moment they can take the time to hold you in their thoughts and maybe pray for your soul. I have to wonder though am I alone in these kind of thoughts...

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[missmewts]

puppy//colin zabel

pairings; colin zabel, gender neutral reader

rating; mature

warnings; smut; sub colin, dom reader, thigh riding, sorta pain kink???, crying kink? idk he's crying and it's hot ig

he hated it, but it made it so much better to see him completely bare under you while you were still full clothed, down to the shoelaces. it gave you the greatest surge of dominancy, and while he said he hated it, it couldn't have been a bigger lie.

though it made him feel self conscious under the judgemental eyes that studied him and the degrading comments, he knew you didn't mean anything you said. and knowing that he knew you didn't mean it meant you could go further with your "insults". though, tonight, you worried that you had gone too far, choked noises backing up his throat and his cheeks blotchy from salty tears.

'colin?' you whisper. his fingers, covering his watering eyes, didn't part to look at you. judging by the swaying erection sitting between the two of you, he enjoyed your comments, but you still couldn't help but worry. when your fingers grazed his wrist, he gasped, a shaky moan ripping through his throat alongside a sob. you smiled, linking your fingers through his. your palm pressed against the top of his hand, slowly bringing it down.

his pretty brown eyes were clouded with tears, his eyelashes drooping dangerously low under the weight of them. face flushed about as red as his cock, he nodded gently. your grin widened into something a bit more malicious, a contrast from your previous comforting smile. though, you down the harrassment. just in case.

'look at this. you see it?' you asked, your gentle tone returning to it's harsh bark. his thighs tremble as your hand grasps his cock tightly. too tight to bring any pleasure, though he knew that was your intention. he nodded quickly. your hands found the pillow that had been discarded on the floor, the off-white case still stained with his pre-cum. you threw it on the bed, letting go of him with a push. he whimpered as his hard-on made connection with his lower stomach.

'rubbing on my pillow like a little school girl. rubbing her little clit on her little pillow with her little door wide open. is that what you are, colin?' you asked. 'you a little girl?' his chest trembled with shaking breath as his left hand came back up to cover his face, more unsheathed tears sliding down his soft cheeks.

'answer me, bitch!' you slapped his hand away from his face, gripping his chin and forcing him to look at you. 'mhmm.' you let go of his face, and brought your hand down, the painful noise bouncing off the walls. he yelped, his lip quivering. 'yes. yes! yes, i am.' he stammered, his trembling fingers raising to press against the blooming pain on his cheek.

you lift your hand, pushing his hands back down. you graze his cheek before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to it. he sniffles, closing his eyes and savoring it.

you sat on the edge of the bed next to his hip, parting your thighs. 'c'mere, puppy.' he took his time lifting himself up with weakened arms, but you didn't comment. he slid of the bed, his arms folding over his stomach self consciously as he stood in front of you on trembling legs.

'good boy. sit.' he began to lower to his knees, but before he could, he noticed your right thigh, the one closest to the pillows. it had been pulled up a bit onto the bed, space on both the outside and the inside of it for his knees. the other was lounging comfortably.

he raised from his partially squatted position and stepped in between your knees. he looked down at you, you looked up at him. your hands grasped his, moving them away from his stomach before reaching up to brush tears out of his tired eyes, dehydrated from the amount of water leaving his body.

the bed sank slightly as he placed his knees down hesitantly, his ankles dangling freely off the edge of the bed. when he sank down, the meat on his thighs widened, just slightly. you slapped them, grinning at him as he resisted the unrelenting temptation to grind onto your jean-clad thigh. he was waiting for instruction. you rubbed the spreading red on his thigh, before slapping it again. 'move.'

he didn't waste any time. he hunched slightly, adjusting. with his cock now stationed beneath him, his fingers holding it in place, he began to move. his pattern was wild and crazed, but you gave him a minute to find a good rhythm going. once he did find one, rocking back and forth with soft gasps, you bounced your knee.

his head lolled, his eyes falling shut as he did so. the delicate droplets falling from his eyes made an uneven pattern as his head fell back and returned to its place. the headache from the quick movements annoyed him, but he didn't let it bug him too much.

'good boy. rubbing your clit on my leg. is it better than the pillow?' colin allowed you a high-pitched, girlish moan. it was a rare accurance, and it made you ache. 'yes!! so much, so much better- please! please.' your hands found his thighs again, and you pinched the small curve between his thigh and his knee, created due to his thigh pressed so firmly against his calf.

his movements grew sporadic. you knew it meant he was close, but you didn't stop him. he had been right on the edge when you found him bucking desperately into your pillow. his pre-cum already stained your black work pants, massaged in from his erection. he gives you another moan, the same tone as last time. you groan at his pathetic noises, rubbing his lower back. 'yes!!' he cried, his head dropping onto your shoulder.

'come on, baby. i've got you.' you tell him, and his thighs come to a trembling stop, his chest heaving as he finishes along your thigh, along his own thighs and shooting up yours. his soft whimpers vibrated against your ear, and you basked in it.

you rubbed his thigh before slapping it. 'who told you you could stop?'

[dixxio]

(!!WARNING: OFFENSIVE!!)

A QuackityHQ x CallMeCarson Crossover Fanfic Spectacular

(Quackity Shags CallMeCarson)

"I’m not always called Quackity, I’m not always a duck,

But whenever I see Carson, I’m always willing to fuck.”

Credits: Founders: LinedStorm2: (the one faggot who came up with this fucking idea) subscribe to pewdiepie T-GAY Shetookthekidsagain: (the other faggot who encouraged it) add me on Ig: @homosexual.volcano Writer: Ruhmeel/RuhRuh/The RUH (the dood who recorded and wrote most of it) Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/ruhruh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/the.moist.ov... Twitter: https://twitter.com/BabyShaqAtk?lang=en Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ruh_meel/?h... Narrator/Artist: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Peachie: (the other one had a yoda impression) shetookthekidsagain Editors: dixxiokat/kat/katana/kataeris: (the shagger who fixed the other faggot’s fuckin mistakes) Shiyen: (Hit the chug jug hit the chug jug uh) Music Composer: Lucky: (the faggot who plays the xylophone in the background) (also the best fucking musician ever) Peons: Lunar: (the faggot who didnt do jack shit) Ayobi: (the faggot who killed our fuckin ears) random train: (the other faggot who didnt do shit) Sans: Sans Megalovania Undertale!!

Chapter 1 : An Unexpected Beginning

Carson’s Perspective

My name is Carson. Yeah, Call me Carson.

It was a lovely day in Afghanistan, my slaves were mining for diamonds in the concentration camp but with the luck that I was having they only found dirt blocks.

Later on I went to the rice field wondering how much rice I would be able to get with a single dirt block. I found a very nice man- errr he was actually a duck but nonetheless he promised he will get me a grain of rice, that’s more than I get in a year! The duck turned to me and asked for my name “Call me carson.” I said, my face was burning up from how shy I was getting. I don’t know why I felt embarrassed all of a sudden.

“Hey nigger! I’m Quackity!” the large duck replied.

”Quackity? That’s...an interesting name.” he didn’t say anything much to my comment instead he left to get me the grain of rice he talked about. Quackity came back with two grains of rice and placed them in the palm of my hand. Our hands brushed against each other, I stood there dumbfounded not sure what to do. When I finally snapped out of it he was gone already

I got home and started playing farmville on twitch, when something caught my eye in chat, a twitch link with the name of the man I met earlier that day, “The duck?”, I wondered.

In this game, I finally met “Quacking” or whatever his name was. I went up to him, but he ignored me. Probably because of all the people that surrounded him during the raid. I just heard chants repeating: “Quack my zacc and bring free trials back” and “Minecraft rules and furries deserve to be gassed”. I gave in and chanted as well. When he ended the raid, I dm’d him on twitter saying that it was fun raiding the servers in Toontown.

Shockingly, he responded! He said, “Oh yeah no problem homie! It was REALLY FUN! Especially with you there!”

“W-what? N-n-n-nani?” I stammered. “Y-you noticed me in the raid?”

“Yeah! You were crazy out there! Getting all wild and shit!”

I blushed furiously, I didn’t even think he would notice me out of all those people!

“W-wow…. Thanks….”

“No problem homie! Hey, I think you’d like to meet my friends, one of them is in the house, and one’s a wild spartan! And anoth-”

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!” I exclaimed, “Don’t worry, I’ll meet them with you buddy.”

“Woah slow down there, I ain’t your buddy yet. What do I look like a faggot?” said the gay homophobe duck.

“I-I’m sorry. Gomenasai~” I muttered softly.

“Ah don’t worry about it, don’t be such a puss next time.”

“Of course sir.”

He then left me on read.

I sighed dreamily and thought to myself, “Wow, he’s such a nice guy.’

End of Chapter 1: An Unexpected Beginning

Chapter 2: Call Me Quackity

Quackity's Perspective

When I got home to my pond that day, I felt, rather strange.

I just met this guy who seemed like a fan of mine, but it felt just more than that.

It felt like, I was supposed to meet him somewhere in my life.

Anyways, I kept thinking about him the whole day

When eating THE bread, terrorizing the neighbors, gassing the jews, and even doing the dishes!

I tried so hard going to sleep, but I just kept tossing and turning.

This guy, who wanted to be called Carson, he felt…

Special…

In an autistic way.

It made me feel strange as well.

There was this tension going on between my legs, that I couldn't resist. This sensation, I've never felt it before, it's as if I enjoyed his company. It's making me blush in my sleep, but I feel as if I got something inside that I have to release…

I have to release this anger somehow, yamate quackity, yamate I imagined.

I woke up in the middle of the night, having dreams about that Carson guy. “This is so sad, Alexa play despacito.”

I knew I needed help, so I called a hotline that helps with personal issues.

It’s more of a free counselor if you think about it through the phone.

I called the number, waiting for an answer.

“Hello you have reached Aihate Gaze tech support how may i help you?” says the Gaze Man.

“Hi! I have this problem regarding this guy that I met from a raid I did, not too long ago.” I said.

“Is that guy a machine sir?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t get to know him that well but he did have the spicy memes.” I responded.

“Well, I would say that you would have to check his ZIP drive, it holds all the secret information there.”

I was confused.

“Wait, what?” I said, confused.

“Yeah. All you gotta do is that you gotta hack into his windows XP computer and look for the files inside the computer by inserting the ‘USB into the tight port’.” he said.

“ALL I HAVE IS A WINDOWS 98!” shouted Quackity, while doing the floss in frustration.

“Well I believe you could find it’s USB port in the rear.” he said.

Rear? I don’t know what he means by rear, but all I know is that we have a rear in ou- oh…

I guess that means we have to stick the USB inside the ‘rear’...

“Thank you for your help, Mr. Gaze.”

“No problem, but you have to leave your credit card number with the numbers in the back alongside the Clash of Clans account name and password for free coins!! Thanos has returned and he needs it to destroy Fortn-”

I hung up before he could say anything else, and I grabbed the nearest USB I had. I knew what I had to do next.

I stuck it into my rear, just as the Gaze man requested.

“yAhOoOoOoOoO~!” I moaned loudly.

I realized I just stuck this USB drive with all my family photos and burger king foot lettuce pictures up my booty hole.

I didn’t care however, all that was on my mind was HIM.

Carson... oh Carson.

“Call me Carson~,” I imagined him saying.

“No Carson, Call me QUACKTITY.” I responded.

I pushed the USB drive further into the bunghole, until it disappeared into the void.

I’ve done it.

My family photos, my burger king foot lettuce pics, my minecraft skins, all of them, are now inside me.

All for this one guy.

I felt it in my stomach, and shockingly enough, I could see it through the bump shaped like a USB shown on my skin.

I touched it, it hurted, but I grabbed it even tighter, and moved it even higher into my stomach!

“Carson, CARSON, CAAAAAAAAAAARSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! ORE WA OCHINCHIN GA DAISUKI NANDAYO~~!!!!!!”

I moved it up towards my hard nips, then upward to my chest, then my throat, then finally, through the mouth.

I regurgitated the USB that I stuck through my asshole.

That brown, smelly, shit-covered, saliva covered, stomach acid covered USB drive.

All for that one guy I met at a raid.

Thank you Mr. Gaze…

Thank you...

End Of Chapter 2: Call Me Quackity