#formula four

[httpiastri]

wish prema was as gay as when we had oscar // paul // arthur// etc. 😞

idk which prema you're looking at but

mine is still pretty fruity

[2bluetwo85]

I love how it's basically impossible to watch past F2, F3, or F4 races

[ezisregrettinglifedecisions]

Hey I’m the anon who asked for the I want it that way Prema video

I can’t access tiktok (it’s banned) so could you repost it? Or if anyone has an Instagram link for it maybe they could provide that?

Yeah of course sorry.

Didn't think of the fact it might be banned!

That should be it.

I hope it works this time.

[missnxthingg]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 - 𝑂𝑁𝐸

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Single Mom!Reader (Best friends to lovers) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando and Y/N have always been the best of friends, always there for each other through thick and thin. After years of sharing the paddock and building their own silly little family, both of them just can't hold their feelings inside anymore, even though they're are both afraid it would ruin their friendship. So who'll take the first step? 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃��� - 4.1 K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - None (so far) 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - All chapters come with a social media version. Click bellow and find more about this story!

smau version | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist

“My hair is absolutely fine”, Lando complained. He had just woken up from his usual nap before the race and would’ve much rather have used the past five minutes sleeping then getting his hair fixed. Y/N ignored his whining and kept fixing his curls, making sure they fell perfectly into place. “Y/N, I'm literally putting on a helmet five minutes from now”.

“Shut up”, she furrowed her eyebrows and kept herself concentrated on his hair. “You’re gonna look perfect for the pictures before getting in the car with this hair”.

“Y/N L/N, full-time groomer, part-time comms girl”, he joked, making her open a small grin. It’s always nice to have small moments like those in the middle of all the mayhem that is the Formula 1 paddock, specially after so many years knowing each other. Lando and Y/N always found a way to make it even more fun by being there together.

“My job is to get the best image of you out there”, she dusted off his shoulders and winked at him. “Excited to be back?”

“Very”, he smiled at her. “Missed me over the winter?”

“Haven’t had the chance to miss you since you insist on us having a friendship outside work and keeps stopping by my house all the damn time”, she joked, pulling him to walk along with her. “Also, have you forgotten the headache you’ve given me on New Year’s Day?”

Lando went to Bali with his friends on the New Year’s and ended up partying a little too hard, which resulted in Y/N having to work all day as everyone else was enjoying their holiday. She had to stay at her hotel room all day in reunion with his PR team, trying to come up with solutions to his mess. When he found out, he even paid her dinner to apologize for the mess he made.

“I already said I was sorry”, Lando nudged her away with his elbow, making Y/N giggle. Then she toughened up and rolled his eyes at him. They soon were inside the McLaren garage, almost ready to start the first race of the year.

“You can apologize properly by doing great today”, she helped him close his suit, feeling his gaze burning on her face. Lando lowered his sight to pay attention to his friend, making her whole body tingle just with the looks.

“I'll try my best”, he shrugged. And Y/N knew that he was going to be good anyway, even if he didn’t really believe in himself. Lando had done great all weekend, so she knew he was also going to do great on track. She was known to have a sense of when her best friend was going to do good on the race, and today was one of those days. She just didn’t tell him.

It’s been like this since the very first moment they met. Lando and Y/N got to know each other when he was still in Formula 2, but already looking into enrolling in Formula 1 with McLaren. She had just got an internship at the team, working in communications, focused on their social media, and was starting to get into the motorsports world as she worked her way through a degree in college. Lando was also building his career, starting as a test driver and growing into a rookie. With both of them being new into this world, being friends made this entire experience less lonely.

“All good?”, she asked, opening a comforting smile at him to make sure Lando was cheerful enough to kick off the season. 

“Does my hair look good for the balaclava?”, he joked as he took his last pieces of fireproofs to wear. Y/N rolled her eyes and nudged him away. “Yes, curly king”, she giggled, earning a quick hug from the boy, who was now ready to get into the car. He sneaked a tiny kiss on her cheek and buried his nose on her neck. “Good luck, champ”.

“Thank you”, he winked at her, walking towards his engineers to have a quick chat before the race.

Y/N’s job was basically on hold for the rest of the race. She already knew the procedures of the media pen after the race, so all she had to do was wait and cheer for her team. It felt good to be back on track, and beginnings of seasons always give her a little bit more of power to do her job. And Bahrain was a solid start for McLaren, with both Lando and Oscar finishing above P6, getting good points for the team. 

“I knew you were going to do good”, Y/N commented when she saw Lando walking towards her; his suit already hanging low on his hips and with a tired smile on his face after he finished the countless post race interviews. He wrapped his arms softly around his friend as he stole her bottle of water. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you”, he held her a little tighter and immediately felt relaxed next to her. For years, Y/N has been the calm after the storm for Lando. “Tired?”

“Not really. Just a little bit”, she shrugged, as they walked back together to the McLaren motorhome, ready to get her things and walk away from the paddock.

“Want to grab something to eat before heading back to the hotel? I’m starving, and I really could use some time without talking to anyone but you”, he giggled, knowing his best friend knew how to respect his silence when he needed. Also, they had been working non-stop together for the past month, without a single time to just enjoy their time together. It would be nice to do absolute nothing next to each other.

“Oh, I’m heading back to London tonight. I have to be at the airport in… two hours”, she said, looking at her watch with a sad smile. “Little one needs me. She has a ballet presentation tomorrow, and I have to be there for her”.

“Of course”, Lando said, feeling the endearment on his chest with her words. “Ollie has the best mom in the world. She’s the luckiest little girl”.

Y/N got pregnant shortly after she started her second year in Formula 1, after being very careless with a college boyfriend, who took off the second he found out they were having a baby, only helping financially every month, but not being there to help her with anything. On the first years, when she was mostly required to be in England, it worked. But now that she grew on her job and was asked to travel the entire world, it was getting harder and harder to stay away from her daughter. So she always comes for the weekend and goes back home as soon as she can.

“You’re heading back to England tomorrow for the post-race debrief, right? You should come have dinner with us after the ballet presentation”, Y/N suggested.

“Am I banned from going to the ballet as well?”, Lando arched his brows, making Y/N's cheeks heat up.

“I mean, I thought it would be quite boring for you”, she shrugged, making Norris laugh.

“Are you joking? Olivia can never be boring. I always want to see her, especially on nice days like these”, he said. “I'll be there. And then I'll take you to her favourite restaurant”.

“She’s four, Lando. Her favourite restaurant is McDonald's”, Y/N rolled her eyes, but he shrugged.

“McDonald's it is!”, he giggled. “I'll see you tomorrow. Have a safe trip back home”.

“You too, Lan”, he pulled her for another quick hug and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

Lando has been there for Olivia since before she was born. After her boyfriend took off, Y/N was left pregnant, completely scared for her future. She didn’t know how to keep doing her job and her studies. Norris was the one who stuck by her side, did everything in his power to not get her fired, or not to quit her job, and pushed her to keep going with her education. He was there to take her to doctor's appointments whenever he could, and he was there to hold her hand when the time came. Lando was one of the first people who ever had the opportunity to hold Ollie in the arms. And for everything he did for both girls, he immediately became the little baby’s godfather. There was no one else in this world Y/N trusted more.

She has been more than special in his life as well. Y/N understood him better than anyone, and was his home away from home. She made him laugh, and she made sure that he felt comfortable, loved and happy all the time. And if things weren’t alright, having her support always made things better. So before she left, Lando took one last glance at his best friend and thought: “How lucky I am to have her in my life”. But he kept that thought to himself, trying hard not to think too much into it. Deep down, he knew there was something more on the way his heart raced every time he looked at her.

For the next day, Lando felt anxious to finally get home and be with his tiny second family. He hasn’t seen his goddaughter since the pre-season started and was looking forward to being in her presence again. It was his favourite way to relax after a full weekend, being with the people he loved the most in the world. So it felt good once the meeting at McLaren back in Woking was over, which meant that now he could go to the ballet presentation and be with his girls.

He arrived at least twenty minutes before the presentation started and found Y/N among the crowd, sitting right in the front, using her Instagram as a pastime to wait until Olivia was on stage. She updated her social media with a few shots from the weekend in Bahrain before she was pulled out of her thoughts by Lando, who found his spot next to his best friend.

“Hello”, he greeted with a beautiful smile on his face. Norris was wearing an all-black outfit, trying not to catch much attention to his presence, not wanting to deal with the public eye in such an intimate moment between family. “Am I late?”

“No, don’t worry”, she smiled softly at him. “Ollie will on go on stage in a few moments, so you’re fine”.

“Good. I’m glad to be here”, he elbowed his friend and got comfortable next to her. “How was your flight back home?”

“It was fine, a bit tiring. I got home just in time to have some breakfast and get Olivia ready to go to school. My mom drove her and I knocked out on the couch until lunch. Then I got her from school, we had lunch at a restaurant, and then I took her home to get our ballerina ready”.

“Cute”, his cheeks tinted in a pretty pink shade. “At least one of us had some proper sleep. I woke up at four, then flew here and went straight into MTC. I got changed there, had a nap, and now I’m here”.

“You should’ve gone home to rest, Lando…”, she started, but he cut her through her sentence.

“I told you I wanted to be here. I always want to be here for Ollie’s big days, you know that”, he assured, and Y/N knew he was telling the truth. After all, he has always been there for her daughter, coming to see her whenever he could, never forgetting to get her gifts on Christmas and birthdays, always calling to make sure his goddaughter knew how much she was loved by him. Lando cared about Olivia as if she was his own daughter.

“I know”, she smiled, searching for his hand in the darkness of the room to give it a squeeze. “You’ve always been here for her big days. But I worry about your health”.

“Oh, shut up”, he laughed. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me”.

Then Y/N noticed that Lando was holding flowers in his hands, and her heart immediately felt full at the sight. He definitely is a treasure in her daughter’s life. 

“You brought her a bouquet?”, she commented, making her friend blush with the comment. “Oh my God, that’s so cute!”

“Of course I did! She deserves it”, he smiled, pulling the bouquet to show it to Y/N. “Do you think she’ll like the daisies? I thought roses were too boring and Ollie is never boring”.

“Obviously. She loves everything you give her”, she giggled, finishing just before the music started and the presentation began. 

Y/N obviously cried to see her daughter dancing beautifully on stage, knowing she was on the right path to provide the best life for her little girl. But her heart actually melted to see Lando’s smile as he sat next to her, admiring Olivia’s movements with a hug smile on his face. 

“She’s really good”, he commented, not tearing his eyes away from the girl. “Look at her, wow!”

Y/N threw her arms around him and snuggled close to his body, hugging him from the side. She just couldn’t contain her happiness by him being there for her family. Lando only tore his eyes away from Ollie to look at his best friend for a second. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and rested a hand on her knee. That was his way to tell her that she was doing a good job.

After the presentation was over, the duo went backstage to pick Olivia to go out for dinner. The little girl was still dressed in her ballerina attire, now with a huge smile on her face as she ran excitedly towards them. But there was only one person she had her eyes for.

“Uncle Lando!”, she shouted, rushing her pace to him, who squatted to hug her. Norris waited for the impact and relaxed once he felt her tiny arms wrapped around his neck. “You came!”

“Of course I came! I wouldn’t miss the best ballerina in town doing her beautiful performance on stage”, he leaned back to look her in the face, the smile never faltering from his face. “You look so beautiful, wow. I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you”, Ollie giggled, her tiny hands landing on his cheeks, making his smile even wider. Then he pulled the bouquet in his hands and showed it to the girl, who sparkled her eyes at the sight of the flowers. 

“These are for you”, he said, and Ollie quickly wrapped her hands around the bouquet, pulling them closer to her face to smell it. She started jumping in excitement before pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Oh, that’s nice”.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”, Olivia said. “I love you, uncle Lando”.

“I love you too, baby”, he declared before picking her up from the floor, walking towards Y/N, whose eyes were welled up with tears from watching the interaction between them. He whipped it off with one of his thumbs before pulling his best friend for a group hug.

“Why are you crying, mummy?”, Olivia asked, her cheeks pressed between Lando and Y/N’s body. 

“Oh, it’s because you look so beautiful. I’m so proud!”, she giggled. “These are happy tears, I promise”.

“I love you too, mummy. Just as much as I love uncle Lando”, the girl declared, making Lando’s heart warm up with the comment.

“I love you too, Ollie”, Y/N pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead. “Are you hungry, baby? Uncle Lando is taking us for dinner”.

“And you get to choose where”, he smirked, making Olivia even more excited with the proposition. 

“McDonald’s!”, she shouted, making Lando laugh. Then he looked at Y/N, who had that ‘I told you so’ look on her face. “I want a burger, nuggies, fries and ice cream. Oh, and the little toy”.

“Your wish is my command”.

Lando always bent over backwards to see Olivia smile. He bought everything she wished to eat, and she was stuffed with goodies that made her belly warm. Then she filled him in with everything that was going on in her life, making Y/N sit back, eat her burger, and admire the interaction between them. He had been helping her with food as he listened carefully to every single world she was saying. It was good to have someone else taking care of her, lifting the weight off her shoulders for a second. By the time they were done, Norris held both of his girls' hands and walked to his car, ready to go home with them.

Olivia fell asleep on the way home as they had a very quiet ride, only listening to some of Lando’s chill music. Then he helped carry her inside when they arrived, as Y/N opened the door and got her daughter’s bed ready for the night. She changed the little girl’s clothes and tucked her in bed, not forgetting her signature forehead kiss before leaving. Norris watched it from the door with a tender smile on his face. He pulled his friend by the elbow, engulfing her in a comforting, long hug. 

In the quietness of her house, everything felt perfectly into place. Lando rarely gets those moments alone with his best friend when they are rushing around the paddock. So whenever he sees the opportunity, he takes it. And they stood there, holding each other for a few minutes until he pulled Y/N out of the room. She takes care of both him and Olivia all the time. It’s only fair that he took care of her sometimes.

Norris sat her down on the couch and quickly picked a few items from her room, such as a soft blanket, along with some skincare to take off her makeup and make her relax. Then he sat next to her and patted his lap, just so she could lie down and rest. Lando softly ran wipes across her face, removing her make up before putting a relaxing face mask on her skin. Then he massaged her scalp as she sighed in comfort, enjoying every second of that treatment. He finished the skincare with moisturizer and a little kiss on her forehead, making her smile.

“I don’t deserve you”, she commented as Lando blushed. “Seriously, Ollie and I are so lucky to have you in our lives”.

“I’m just taking care of the people that I love”, he shrugged. “Do you want some tea?”

“I want some wine”, she giggled, making him tag along. “I think there’s a bottle in the fridge and the glasses are still in the same place”.

Lando shot up from his seat, but quickly came back with the bottle, an opener and two glasses. He wasn’t someone to drink much, but he would never refuse this bonding time with his best friend. Still, he poured just a little in his glass before toasting with Y/N.

“God, I’m so tired”, she vented. “I can't sleep when I'm away from Ollie”.

“I know”, he squeezed her knee and Y/N leaned her head into his shoulder. “It sucks having to be away all the time. But I promise you’re doing great in this parenting thing”.

“If you think so”, she shrugged. Most times, Y/N second-guesses herself, wondering if she was being a good mother by leaving her child every other week with their grandmother, only to travel to another country. But she knew that was the only way to provide Ollie with the best life she could have; after all, the salary is very good.

“I know it”, Lando assures. “Olivia is the sweetest kid of all time. She’s kind, funny, very talented and polite. And she absolutely loves you, because you are the best mother in the world”.

“Thanks, Lan”, she smiled at him. “I’m glad she has someone like you in her life. I’m glad to have someone like you in mine”.

“I’ll always be here for you and Ollie, you know that. I’ll take care of you both until the end of my days”, he promised, pulling his best friend for a quick kiss on the crown of her head. “And in the end, everything is worth it, right?”

“Olivia is always worth it”, she assured him, opening the biggest smile. “She’s everything to me. And it’s crazy how much someone can mean to you. But I guess motherhood is always like this”.

“I can’t wait to be a dad. I know I’m going to love it just as much as being a godfather”, he said. “You’re going to enjoy being a godmother someday too”.

“I will be the proudest auntie in the world! Your kid will love me because I’ll pamper them with all the love I can give”.

Deep down, Lando knew he didn’t want Y/N to be the godmother of his children. He has known for a while that he wanted her to be their mother; to be the one he raised a family with through the years. He was very happy whenever he was with her and Olivia, loving more than anything that little family he built with his best friend, so he wanted that to grow even more, maybe with some children of their own.

But confessing his feeling for Y/N tonight, or any night in the near future, wasn’t in Lando’s plans. He would rather just enjoy this little family without taking the risk of losing it for unrequited love. After all, if it didn’t work out, he loses both of the loves of his life.

“Are you staying the night?”, she broke the silence after a few minutes just listening to the sound of television, as they finished their wine together.

“Of course. Did you think I was going to pass the opportunity of cuddling with you?”, he frowned. “I was pissed when McLaren didn’t book us at the same hotel, so I could have an excuse to sneak into your room”.

“Well, you’re the famous driver, McLaren golden boy. I’m just the comms girl. Not all of us can stay at swanky hotels”.

“You deserve the swankiest of them”, Lando said, making Y/N flustered with his comment.. “Come on, you barely can keep your eyes opened. Let’s go to bed”.

He swiped her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom as she tried to laugh quietly to not wake Olivia up. Lando threw her in the mattress as he laughed along, but immediately went into ‘take care mode’ when they were inside those four walls. He chose a comfortable pyjama for Y/N and picked some of his clothes, which he conventionally left in her house for nights like these, then went into her bathroom so they could have some privacy to change.

After they were both dress, Lando hopped into bed too and quickly found his favourite spot: his head resting on her chest, with his arms engulfing her in the most comfortable hug. He felt the tiredness of the weekend crash his body, but he felt relaxed to be in his favourite girl’s arms.

“Does Ollie have school tomorrow?”, he asked, feeling Y/N nod, even with her eyes closed.

“She does, I have to be up very early tomorrow”, she groaned, already feeling too lazy to wake up early tomorrow. 

 “I can take her to school, don’t worry”, he said, wanting to take this weight off Y/N’s back. After all, he could very much take care of Olivia for her, as he had done countless times before. “And then after classes, we can all do something fun, like going to a park or something. Maybe I can take her to a toyshop and she can buy anything that she wants”.

“Don’t spoil my child too much. I don’t want her to grow as a spoiled kid. You’ll ruin her!”

“I will”, he giggled. “But Olivia deserves everything in the world and more”.

They fell quiet for a moment, and Lando was sure that Y/N had already fallen asleep. That until her fingers rolled in his curls, making him hum in satisfaction. He wanted that feeling for the rest of his life. He wanted to sleep next to her every night until the end of days.

And then came the three words he always adored hearing from her.

“I love you, Lan”, she mumbled. “Thank you for being the best friend one could ever wish for”.

Even after being friend zoned, Lando didn’t care about anything else, feeling his chest burning in adoration for his favourite girl. “I love you too, baby”, he whispered back, his words carrying more than he actually wanted to mean. 

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 . 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - @celestialams @kapsylia @igotnorrrizz @hiireadstuff @bishhhitsaurion @mrsmaybank13 @bborra @sltwins @riccdannyf1 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @ctrlyomomma @lan4cha16 @alltoomaples @ellen3101 @hellyesjaehyun @tastebaldwin @sweate-r-weathe-r @carmenita122 @m0cha-bunny @lqvesoph @itscrzy @fangirlvibez @poppyflower-22 @livelovesports @logischeroktopus @happy-jj @saturnbloom77 @formulaal @secretgal66 @taisferrari-blog @sunsshinesunny @eclipsedcherry @tems13 @readingbringsjoy @timmispeach @kenzeyeballs @alilcloudy @rchitect-2015 @tillyt04 @eringaitskill @Honeyhatty12 @dreamercrowd @demig0d0fapollo @mxmtewnz @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @beyond-the-ashes @ijustgomessitupx @floraav @laiba26mindflay3r @marialovesf1 @sltwins @lizaschronicles @katieschry1 @loveofmylife12 @diaa-20 @urfavsgf @likedbygaslyy @notturlover @c-losur3 @brizzy-xo @gorgrussell @ellasaddiction2 @morketheduck @kravitzwhore @darkacademicvibes @jenna123456789 @crispymcniall @arsyao @phantomxoxo @noobmaster6931 @ohlahlaa @c0rpsecore @rafegirly @darleneslane @annalisenelson @nataliambc @amorydsmt @slytherinholland @hstylesmermaid @harrysdimples05 @xxbaby-dollxx @neilakk @xxx-betty

[nico-di-genova]

Slut Lance in his half unbuttoned shirt strikes again 😌

[alexturntable]

"You've been with Carlos now for four years, what will you miss about him?" "I think just Carlos the person"

[countingstars-17]

i feel that this latest interview with max in which he talks about the inchident is a natural extension of the interview that ziggo did with charles a few years ago. first charles gives a very detailed account of what happened that day: them battling on track and knocking each other out, max going straight into a puddle and them being disqualified from the race. then comes max who gives an explanation of the famous interview and how the "just an inchident " has become a funny joke between them. we finally have the full story, let's pretend that they did this interview together.

[pacifierbby]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ WHEN THREE BECOMES FOUR MASTERLIST

* ੈ✩‧₊ when the Norris family turns from three to four join their mini-series and see how little Noah copes with his new brother or sister

୨ৎ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 LN4 dad x fem reader mom

୨ৎ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 none

୨ৎ 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ

[amphibiangeorgerussel]

climbing - lucille clifton

[finifugue]

The real unsung heroes of this fandom are people who are fans of Carlos, Charles, Lando and Max in genuine equal measure. It's like being switzerland during WWI, except you're also being attacked by every single person you're supposedly neutral towards.

[httpiastri]

i’m so far behind, where can i see macau? and when is the race?? pls help me out :(

[starklyn]

Sexiest team on the grid

[ezisregrettinglifedecisions]

DUDE DUDE DUDE

Do you know where I can find the video of all the Prema boys (f2 f3 f4) singing I want it that way??? It was on their Instagram but I can’t find it now 😭😭

OMG YES!

I was looking for this literally an hour ago.

It's on Prema's tiktok and it was posted on the 2nd of May.

Hope you're able to find it!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeseynYR/

(That should be the link)

[sweetprfct]

The Hate Formula

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Living in the same building, across from each other shouldn't be much of a problem, right? But how come you and Joe tend to always push each other's buttons every day? Is it because you both truly just hated each other or is it because there was something more to it?

Author's Note: Decided to upload this a little early because I'm going to be busy next week at work! Here's more chaos... Enjoy!

Disclaimer: 18+

Wordcount: 3.3K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten

As much as you tried to find comfort and ease in the thoughts that you kept telling yourself, your heart still felt heavy the moment you entered your apartment building. Looking back, you watched as Garrett gave you an apologetic smile before walking away. You felt your heart drop to the floor, and you couldn’t seem to pick it up with your own hands. It was almost like you were just watching it beat slowly until it shattered. You knew that you were dreading about this in the first place when Sara first introduced you to Garrett, but you really thought there was something there. You thought after giving this a chance, he was going to make you happy. 

You were wrong. Again. 

Taking a deep breath, you felt your legs finally give up as you sat on the bottom steps of the staircase. You couldn’t help but let your thoughts wander and asked yourself if you were just going to be a second choice all the time. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were ever going to find someone who wouldn’t leave you this easily. 

Was there something wrong with you? Was there something that you were doing that made them treat you like this all the time? 

You didn’t want to go upstairs yet because you knew Sara was going to ask how your date went, and you honestly didn’t have the energy to really explain what just happened. You just wanted to drown yourself in your own fatalistic thoughts. You just wanted to have your own space for a moment. 

“It’s a nice place you have here.” The woman intertwined her fingers with Joe as they entered the building. 

He smiled at the woman and paused for a moment when he saw you sitting at the bottom steps of the staircase. He watched as you hung your head low and played with your fingers. You looked crestfallen, and he couldn’t help but wonder what happened. This was the first time he saw you like this. 

Slipping his hand away from the woman, he turned around to face her, giving her an apologetic smile. 

“You know what?” Joe set both of his hands on her shoulders and turned her around towards the doors. “I’m sorry, I just remembered I needed to do something tonight.”

“Wait, what?” The woman furrowed her brows as she stumbled on her feet, while Joe pushed her out the door. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. It’s great getting to know you though.” Joe waved goodbye at her as she scoffed and rolled her eyes at him. 

Joe didn’t really care about the woman being pissed at him. Most of the time, he was always used to that constant reaction he would receive. However, it was your reaction that was worrying him at the moment. Turning around to face you, he slowly walked over to you. Joe stood there for a moment, oblivious how to start the conversation. Then, you gazed up at him and he saw the unshed tears in your eyes. He felt his heart crack a little bit. 

You scoffed at him when you saw his presence in front of you, rolling your eyes in annoyance. 

“I’m not in the mood to fight tonight, Joe.” 

Joe let out a deep breath and sat next to you on the steps. You gave him a side eye as you moved yourself farther, making him chuckle softly and shake his head. You were acting like he had some cooties or something but honestly, he was the last person you wanted to talk to tonight. 

“Who said I’m here to fight?” Joe said.

You stared at him and didn’t say anything before looking away and looking down at your feet. Joe cocked his head to the side, his eyes studied you, and he wondered what happened for you to look like this. It wasn’t like he was stalking you or anything but the last time he saw you this afternoon, you seemed happy when you left with a man from your apartment. 

“What’s wrong?” Joe asked, his voice sounded soft and genuine.

You couldn’t help but let out a sarcastic chuckle, shaking your head. Did he really just ask you what was wrong? Why did he care if you were all in your lonesome tonight? 

“Are you here to make fun of me? Because I’m not in the mood for that either.” You argued. 

“No… I’m here because you look like you’re about to burst into tears any time now.” Joe said. 

You furrowed brows together, confused. “Why do you even care? Don’t you have some girl to fuck tonight?” 

Joe didn’t want to press the subject on you because he could see the devastation in your eyes. You didn’t have to explain anything because from the looks of it, he already had an idea as to what happened that could make you react like this. 

He has seen it. 

He has seen it twice now. 

He knew because the two times that this reaction of yours washed over your face was because of him. The first time was when he first met you when you just moved in and the second time was just a few days ago when Mrs. Johnson had come knocking on his door, and you ended up spilling out something that Joe knew you didn’t mean to. 

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Joe stated, his eyes staring deep into yours. 

You didn’t understand what was happening. Why was Joe wasting his time on you right now? Why was he here next to you right now? Why did he even care? You couldn’t help but wonder if this was all just an act. He was an actor after all. You wouldn’t be surprised if this was just part of the act, so he could look good in front of everyone else. 

“And how do you even know that?” You asked, a hint of bitterness in your voice. 

Joe shrugged and stared at the ceiling for a moment, thinking of the right words to gather in order for him to answer your question. He didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire that was slowly burning inside of you. 

“Because you’re more than just someone who they fuck and then tells you that they don’t want anything to do with you.” Joe replied. “You’re intelligent, headstrong and have a good heart.”

Your lips parted as you stared at Joe, stunned. You have never seen this side of him before. His chocolate button eyes were staring into yours, and he seemed so different. You reminded yourself of what you told yourself two years ago. You reminded yourself about the promise that you would never believe anything that Joe would tell you because from the first time you met him, he was always a liar and would do anything to get what he wanted. He was just charming you, and you couldn’t help but think how vile he was that he would use your lowest moment in order to get to you. 

Besides, why the hell would he say all of that anyway? If there was a part of him being genuine, how the hell did he know all of that about you? He didn’t know you that well. He never interacted with you unless the both of you were arguing in the middle of the hall. He had no right to be giving you some advice when he didn’t even personally know you. 

“Are you stalking me?” You asked, one brow raised at him.

Joe couldn’t help but chuckle softly. His small dimples indenting his cheeks, and you couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked when he was smiling.

Wait, what were you doing? Why were you thinking about this right now?

“Do you think I haven’t seen the men you brought back in here for the last two years, love? They all don’t deserve you.” 

There it was again. 

That stupid nickname that he kept calling you. A frown plastered on your face as you listened to the sentence he just told you. 

“And who deserves me?” Your voice sounded challenging. 

Joe moved closer to you, and you couldn’t really move anywhere else since you were already in the corner. It was a dead end. His face was inches from yours as his brown eyes twinkled. You swallowed the emotions that were slowly coming up in your throat as you watched him study you for a moment. The air suddenly felt thick between the two of you, and you were frozen in your place, feeling your heart pound hard inside your chest. 

You saw how Joe clenched his jaw. You saw something in him that you haven’t seen in a long time. It was almost like a version of him that you only saw when you first met him. Then, the last couple of years, it was a different version that he had been putting up. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was true. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were actually seeing the real Joe, or this was just your emotions fogging up your brain right now. 

“Someone who could see the real you.” Joe murmured, his eyes staring at your pink lips before gazing up into your eyes. “Someone who could see your own potential and doesn’t get scared because of it.”

Your own potential? What did he see in you?

Moving your face closer to his, your eyes studied his facial features. 

“Well, good luck with that because that’s impossible.” You said, staring into his eyes before getting up from the steps. 

Just right before you could walk away, Joe gently curled his hand around your wrist. You couldn’t help but hitch your breath from his touch and slowly looked over your shoulder to see that he had gotten up from where he was sitting. His eyes staring into yours and twinkling with sincerity. 

“I meant what I said.” Joe said sternly. 

Pulling your wrist away from his touch, you swallowed the emotions that were resurfacing from two years ago. Then, your reminder about not to trust anything he said echoed in your mind. You kept your lips shut as you gave him one last look before walking away. 

You thanked your little stars above when you entered the apartment and found it dark and empty. The city lights outside the tall glass windows reflected through it, and you didn’t bother turning the lights on. You would just feel more exposed, and you didn’t want that. You made your way towards the bathroom and ran the warm water, finding your naked body on the marbled floors later on that night. You hunched down as you pulled your legs close to your chest and wrapped your arms around it. When things like these happen, you let yourself dwell on the disappointments and sadness for about a day before picking yourself back up. 

It wasn’t like you and Garrett had been seeing each other long. It only has been a week, but you couldn’t help but let yourself wonder if you were ever good enough for anyone. If you were ever going to be a first choice. As time went on, you could feel your skin getting all pruney from the water, and you weren’t sure anymore if the water running down your cheeks were from the shower, or they were your tears. 

Probably both.

Sliding underneath your covers that night, you grabbed your pillow and wrapped your arms around it, letting yourself feel all the emotions you were feeling until you were too tired to think and sleep overtook you. 

The next few days were eerily quiet. It wasn’t what you were used to at all. You haven’t told Sara about what happened between you and Garrett. You felt as if it was too embarrassing to talk about. You kept telling yourself that one day, you’d let her know. Besides, she would probably start questioning soon when she starts noticing that Garrett wasn’t taking you out on dates anymore. 

Although, the stillness in the apartment building was what was bothering you more. Not that you didn’t like it. You were actually glad that you weren’t bumping into crying or angry girls every time you came home from work because Joe had probably told them it was just a one night thing. It was on the second week where you noticed the quiet stillness of the hall. No doors getting slammed. No woman yelling at Joe. 

Maybe he wasn’t home.

You were slowly starting to realize that ever since that little odd conversation you had with Joe in the lobby, you haven’t seen him for a while. 

Then when Saturday night arrived, a sudden knock on your door interrupted your movie night with Sara. The both of you exchanged looks before shifting your eyes towards the clock. It was sort of late, and you wondered who was knocking on your door at this hour. 

“I got it.” You told Sara, getting up from the sofa. 

The moment you swung the front door open, you found Joe standing in front of you. A soft smile tugged on his lips, and he was carrying two packages in his hands. 

“The mailman was dropping off packages downstairs and thought I should just bring yours up too.” Joe handed the packages to you. 

“Why are you doing this?” You knitted your brows, staring at the packages he was holding in front of you. 

Was this one of his games again? Because you were sort of tired tonight to even deal with it. You just wanted to relax with Sara and finish the movie that you were watching. 

“I don’t wanna get kicked out, so I’m being neighborly friendly.” Joe shrugged. 

You folded your arms in front of your chest, raising one brow at him. 

“She said to be civil. You don’t have to do all of this.” 

“Yeah, but I want to.” Joe handed the packages towards you again as you stared at it for a moment, acting like he put some sort of explosive device in there. 

Grabbing the packages from him, you felt Joe leaned in close to you. It made you hitch your breath again, remembering his soft touch from two weeks ago when he had held your wrist and told you all those nice words. You still didn’t believe what he told you, but you couldn’t help but glue it inside your brain. 

“I hope you enjoy your new toy.” He smirked. 

You knitted your brows, wondering what the hell he was talking about until you felt the package that was underneath the other box. It was the little vibrator you bought last week, and the company you bought it from had packaged it in the shape of the toy. Your eyes widened, looking down at it before slowly gazing back up at Joe, who was smirking at you. You felt the blood rushed to your face, your nostrils flaring from anger from the way Joe was teasing you right now. 

You knew he had an agenda!

He wasn’t here to be “neighborly friendly!” He probably saw the package being dropped off downstairs and saw the packaging and took the opportunity to piss you off. 

“You’re such an ass!” You exclaimed, dropping your packages on the floor and grabbed your slipper, throwing it at him. 

“Hey!” Joe laughed, using his arm to dodge the slipper you threw at him. “I don’t blame you! Those men aren’t giving you what you need.”

You groaned in frustration, standing there, looking at him full of anger. Your eyes were literally lit as if a whole wildfire burned inside of you as Joe ran back towards his apartment, while you picked up the slipper on the floor and threw it at him again, hitting him at the back of his head. You picked up the other pair from your foot and walked towards him as Joe turned the doorknob of his apartment, only to find it locked. He curled his hand into a fist and banged on the door, looking over his shoulder to find you about to launch the slipper at him again. 

“Mate, open up!” He called out. 

Right before you could throw your slipper, his front door opened and he quickly ran inside, shutting the door behind him as you groaned in frustration. Walking back, you picked up your packages and slammed the door behind you.

“Seriously, I don’t want to get kicked out of here!” Sara scolded you as she poured herself some hot tea. 

“He is nothing but an ass, Sara!” You exclaimed, dropping the packages on the table. “He comes in here all nice, only to piss me off at the end.”

Sara shook her head and knitted her brows together as she stared at your packages. 

“Damn, they really didn’t know how to pack that.” She picked up the package that was shaped as your vibrator, suppressing a slight chuckle. 

“Right?!” You looked at it before Sara dropped it back on the table. “I mean what the fuck?!”

Sara cocked her head to the side and stared at you in wonderment. You ripped your packages open and threw the boxes away on the bin before looking back and saw the look Sara was giving you. 

“What?” You asked. 

“Is… Is Garrett not… good?”

You bit your lower lip and realized that you haven’t told Sara what happened because you were too embarrassed to talk about it. You knew this day would come and there was no getting out of it now. 

“He…um…” You cleared your throat. “We’re not seeing each other anymore.”

“Why?” 

You took a deep breath and said, “He went back to his ex.”

Sara placed down her mug on the table as you saw her shoulders immediately slumped down from the news you just told her. 

“I’m so sorry.” Sara said, reaching for your hand. 

“It’s fine.” You squeezed her hand gently. “Things just don’t work out sometimes.”

As much as you spent that night crying in the shower and crying yourself to sleep, you didn’t want any sympathy because you knew it would just make you feel even worse. You gave her a small reassuring smile as she pulled you into a hug. 

“I’m more frustrated with that asshole from across the hall.” You changed the subject, scoffing as you parted from the hug. 

You sighed and flopped yourself back on the sofa, while Sara settled next to you. 

“I didn’t know that asshole had a roommate. I don’t know how he deals with him.” You mentioned as Sara played the movie again. 

“He does?” Sara pursed her lips, her eyes laser focused on the television. 

“Someone opened the door for him when I was trying to throw a slipper at his head.” You murmured, letting your shoulders finally relax. 

“I didn’t see the face though.” You added.

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Sara’s voice was almost a whisper. 

You turned to her and saw that she was too focused on the movie that was in front of her. You figured maybe she didn’t want to talk about this anymore. 

“Me neither.” You murmured, ending the conversation. 

You could tell she was getting tired of these games between you and Joe, and you felt bad for making her feel that way. Even after you had promised you would try to be civil with Joe, you still ended up screaming at him again in the middle of the hall. 

Then, the thought of Joe seeing your new shiny little toy earlier got your cheeks all flushed. You felt embarrassed that he actually saw that. You couldn’t help but blame the company that packed that because what the fuck? Not like there was something wrong with you wanting to touch yourself and giving yourself pleasure from time to time. You were just a girl, and you have your needs too.

Maybe Joe was right. 

The men you dated never really gave you what you needed. Even with Garrett. You had a good time with him, but you felt like there was always something missing. You just couldn’t figure out what it was. 

********

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[gojoswhitebabydolllashes]

Me fighting the most diabolical, heinous, toe-curling, back arching, leg twitching urge to scream when my favourite male is on screen:

[sh4tt3rg1rl]

theyre everything to me yall