#former terf

[gothicroses]

hey this is insane

imane Khelif is a woman

not all women have super delicate uwu faces and bodies

i sure as fuck don't i have a big nose and im very flat chested

guess i can't be a woman now 😕

[icannotgetoverbirds]

to ex-radfems:

hey! i didn't realize there was so many of y'all here on tumblr! I'll be honest, I'm not sure what to say about it, because, well, I thought we were much fewer and further between.

I think there are a few things worth saying, though.

Here's a resource for you. In addition, while I don't participate in discourse too often, I'm happy to provide perspective to good-faith questions, and to learn from you and what you've picked up along your journey.

I am proud of you for your growth. This is a really difficult thing - radical feminism targets vulnerable people who aren't equipped with the tools to understand its many issues. I hesitate to call any political system a cult, but as a cult survivor myself, there are parallels.

I know that the guilt is difficult. I was relatively harmless as a TERF since I rarely spoke up about it, but what little I did perpetuate, I regret. The things I've done in the name of beliefs that held me instead of me holding them still haunt me, radfem-related or not.

You are not alone. This is important.

Some people will not forgive you. Some people cannot forgive you. You may have trouble forgiving yourself. It's okay. It takes time, and what's most important is that you're here now, and you understand how to move forwards.

This is a safe space for former/deconverting radfems. I block easily, because I need to keep this a safe space for myself as well, but I want you to know that I'm going to do my best to make this space open to people who are willing to learn.

Honestly, at this rate, I might make a sideblog about being a former radfem - I'll add it to my pinned post if I do.

Anyways. I share some of this experience with you. I know it can be difficult, coming to terms with both your past and what this means for the future. I know it takes work. I know.

Most importantly, it's going to be okay.

[wolfydyke]

I've never felt more weak as a woman than I did when I was a terf. It's an ideology that basically works to convince every woman involved that we are just inherently weak and frail.

Throughout that time, and since I was never really out and open about it, it was my trans friends who made me feel strong, and NEVER the terfs, and I don't know how the hell I couldn't see that until recently.

Terfs don't want women to feel powerful, they want us to feel weaker than we are and beat us down until we subconsciously feel worthless so we can feel justified in our hate cult. It's so obvious looking back

[ex-foster]

I got blocked by another former foster kid tiktoker after expressing some gender critical beliefs.

It really makes me feel sad because it feels like a lot of people don't see from the perspective of women who aged out of foster care and our heightened vulnerabilities. Women from foster care are extremely overrepresented among sex trafficking victims and sexual abuse victims. And many women who have been sexually abused want access to female-only shelters and safe spaces. Some of us only want to be examined by female medical staff during rape kits. Some of us only want to report to a female police officer due to the sensitive nature of sexual trauma. Sex is a protected characteristic and it seems like trans activism is at odds with women's rights. There are aggressive efforts made by trans activists to undo what feminists have worked hard to establish (like the activists that worked to defund Canada's longest standing rape crisis center).

I really need liberal feminists to step outside of their echo chambers and actually examine what the criticisms of trans ideology are because what you will discover will surprise you. Trans activists paint an unflattering portrait of "terfs" as if we are hateful people who wish harm on people who are gender nonconforming. The accusations are hyperbolic to the point of absurdly - some of us are accused of "genocide" for simply criticizing illogical or misogynistic aspects of gender ideology.

[itisiives]

NGL, the fact that queer Tumblr's and queer Twitter's hatred of twinks is barely distinguishable from cishet men's hatred of queer femme men is... funny... in a nastily ironic way.

[losergirl-boyfriend]

Mass blocking terfs and keep noticing a pattern of "former libfem" or something of the like and that sucks and all but I have yet to like really see the opposite. Former terfs if you see this please know I love you and I think it'd be really fun to see more of yall around

[inniave]

ABOVE ALL THINGS

SUFFERING,

GLORIFIED

[featherdawn]

ughhhh I had a terf reblog my post to yell at me which means now I have to go thru the blog of every person who interacts with that post to vet them

and inevitably piss myself off reading their bullshit

God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers

Edit: what do you fucking MEAN their reblog of my post doesn't get removed when I block them. what the fuck. fuck ass website

[iidsch]

Re the Neil Gaiman allegations but it really says a lot about the politics of this website that people care more about gay rep than the wellbeing of women. Major Tumblr darling gets accused of sexual assault and people in his fandoms either immediately jump to "the victims are lying/this is a smear campaign" or continue posting like nothing happened, with only a handful of posts actually dealing with the topic and getting attention. Not even a "let's wait until more details come out but sexual assault is bad". At this point I don't even care if the allegations turn out to be false because the biggest issue here is not the sexual assault, it's the silence of the people around it. This should have been a moment to step back, leave fandoms aside and realize that people are being hurt by his actions but that didn't happen! This was incredibly disappointing, ESPECIALLY after we had a wave of people arguing that you shouldn't buy the wizard game because JKR is transphobic. As always it's easy to cast stones to other people but when it comes to the guy who wrote your fav gay ship suddenly it's a different matter. If you wouldn't do "innocent until proven guilty" for a creator that you dislike who got accused of sa but you do it to Neil Gaiman, then you are willing to excuse despicable behavior as long as it comes from someone you have a parasocial relationship with and you should really think about what it's doing to your own principles and politics.

[soup-mother]

0 days since some guy last accused a trans woman of being a terf 🙄

[gothicroses]

terfs being more outrage about Imane Khelif then Steven van de Velde a literal child rapist proves they don't care about women and girls they just want to be hateful bigots and say it's all in the name of feminism

[wolfydyke]

It's crazy how much terf ideology can seem right when you're an insecure teenage girl struggling with misogyny, but then the second you're out of it and you look back, they really are just as hateful and disgusting as people said all along

[tealfruit]

sorry I'm just not gonna take you seriously if you say that terfs ONLY and PRIMARILY target trans women and will side with literally anyone to do so. they don't. that is their Big Target but do not get it twisted they also hate trans men. to them we are gender traitors and we apparently benefit from male privilege while also being ugly misguided Women who are ruining our Beautiful Feminine Bodies with Evil Man Hormones. we are Poor Innocent Women being indoctrinated into the Trans Cult and then doing violence on Good Natural Women. they are either erasing and misgendering us by calling us women or demonizing us bc of our manhood, sometimes both in the same breath. terfs do not ally with us, they actively hate us too and want us wiped out.

[yourlocalmissingtexture]

This coworker of mine really overestimates how much of my mind I’ve lost to the sauce lmao

Yeah I’m informed on some conspiracy theories (don’t believe most, the ones I do have literally been confirmed), yeah I’m interested in metaphysics, occultism, and religion, yeah I see where you might draw certain conclusions, but buddy.

My guy. My good sir.

You aren’t going to convert me to edgelordism. I’ve spent my time there and I was worse off for it. I’m happier and feel more myself now embracing my queerness and appreciating diversity and speaking out against injustice than I was when I whined about ess-jay-dubya snowflakes.

Knock that Satanic panic shit off, man. It’s embarrassing.

[elevenfifths]

i’m gonna say it. Engaging in bigotry bc you yourself are uncomfortable with self is one of the stupidest excuses for being a fucking asshole i’ve ever heard.

Especially if you’re a fucking adult and engaging with bigotry.

For example (and the thing I’m specifically seething over), it’s morally reprehensible to try to excuse your radfem/anti-trans/terf ideologies-of-past on the grounds that you were uncomfortable with your trans identity and were in turmoil seeing the life you wanted to live in others so you turn to the internet to lambast and vilify and dehumanize trans existence? nah.

if i wanted to be born a girl and have a girl coded childhood, I wouldn’t turn to the internet and be a raging misogynist. in fact i didn’t.

if i identified as straight and saw gay folk living their bliss, i wouldn’t turn to the internet to demand all gays are fakers/dangerous/morally wrong. i saw it too much growing it up and it made me ill. i was uncomfy as hell in my then-closeted identity but it didn’t turn me into a bigot.

if i knew someone grew up Jewish, a religion i wanted to personally convert to an follow but was uncomfortable in doing so, i would not turn to the internet and become an anti-semite.

i know folks have the capacity to grow and change and everyone navigates internal acceptance differently but i can’t wrap my fucking head around this one. i can’t fully grasp turning to such a high level of hate for an entire body of people living their lives under fire from laws and bigots and cruelty and be like, yeah, i’ll join the fight of the side of hate.

and if that person moves away from hate and denouces their past bigotry, that’s great. but it is beyond any expectation that anyone affected by their cutting and venomous hate should be expected to forgive in any capacity. those hurt are allowed to fully cut ties and chose their safety and well-being.

just. fucking bonkers.

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

Looking back at the whole 2016 Baeddel movement is actually horrifying. The fact that there are still people around promoting it despite the horrific things that group has done is awful. My heart goes out to any young trans women preyed on by that group, and any young trans men harassed by it.