#form and bows down…. genuinely the most romantic thing i’ve ever scene

[tomdarsh]

you ever get really excited about something but you have no one to tell it to because it’s

a. too weird

b. you have 2 friends (like me lol) and you’ve already used your texting privileges and can’t text again till they respond out of fear of seeming desperate (i am VERY desperate)

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Ep 14

Hey, I’m getting all my screencaps from Netflix now, because I finally figured out how lol. That means I’m also getting the subtitles from there (and I’ve seen a lot of Netflix haters, but at lease we won’t get “Wei Ying, clam down” and other ridiculous errors). This is just for your reference. I hope the quality of the images will be a little bit better. So I’m both looking forward to and dreading this episode. On the plus side, the first half or so is wangxian, on the downside, the rest is not. And it marks the beginning of the Lan Wangji Drought™, and subsequently my least favorite part in the entire series (not counting the Yi City arc, which, as you may recall, I have not watched yet). But let’s get started, shall we?

We left our heroes in the Xuanyu Cave. Lan Wangji was asleep and Wei Wuxian as being thoughtful and adorable. Now they are both awake and hatching a plan to defeat the Tortoise of Slaughter. Wei Wuxian is talking about the fame and glory that they’ll receive if they defeat it, but on the other hand, if they are killed by the monster, that’s not a bad way to go. Again, even though Lan Wangji’s leg is doing better, even though they survived the first brushes with death with both the Wens and the mythical monster, here they are, about to face death again. But they have no choice, right? It’s either fight the Tortoise of Slaughter or starve. The crux of this whole arc for me is that it changes their relationship forever. You don’t almost die together and not have that change you and the relationship you have with that other person. And I think that’s what makes their reunion after several months so much harder and so much sadder (I’m itching to get to that scene, which is so far from here, ughhh).

Arts and crafts project with bae! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I kind of love this scene, though, for what it is: the two of them quietly working together, each with his own task. There’s something kind of domestic about it, even in this dire situation. Also Lan Wangji is doing most of the work. It’s fucking hard to string/unstring a bow.

And when they’re picking up all the bows and arrows, I’m always thinking that the others made such a mess! They just chucked the arrows everywhere, dropped their bows. But why are there so many arrows on the ground? You’d think they’d mostly be in the water, as that’s where the Tortoise of Slaughter was. You know? I’m not gonna think to hard about this.

Imagine that instead of the bowstring, it’s actually one of those sticky hand things that you can swing around and stick to walls.

I spent too much time on that, I’m sorry.

Again, Lan Wangji is reminded that he’s injured and can’t be a ton of help in this situation. And I think he’s bothered by this quite a bit—not because he wants to play hero and save Wei Wuxian, but I think because he doesn’t want Wei Wuxian to bear too great a burden alone. And I think Wei Wuxian is coming from a place of caring and kindness when he points all that out. It’s not as if he wants glory either: he realizes that he is their best chance of survival, and he also knows he can count on Lan Wangji to be there for him.

This smile is so warm, so kind, so loving. Yeah, it is loving. And I do think that this sort of relationship is a big deal in the context of this story. You have two people from different clans, who have vastly different upbringings (although there are similarities with their parents’ deaths), able to come together and genuinely feel friendship for one another. This kind of thing is not that common, seemingly, in this world. It happens, right? It happens for political reasons (sworn brothers, etc.), it happens when there are marriages between clans—but we know that it isn’t common to have this particular kind of friendship, because the script literally pointed it out to us: Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan. They are different—they are close, they are soulmates, even (in a platonic way). And Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are held up to them as a direct comparison (“Lan Zhan and I went on a night hunt together”). And wangxian isn’t a friendship of convenience—they weren’t forced here together and then they have to tough it out—this was all chosen. And I think this is where the whole “soulmate” conversation becomes important, in that them coming together and forming that bond in the Cloud Recesses was driven by some kind of fate. That initial meeting, those subsequent experiences they had—if those things hadn’t happened, they probably wouldn’t be in this cave together right now. That being said, the fact that they are in this cave together right now is definitely not fate. This was a choice—or a series of choices—made by the two of them. Had there been no friendship or love between these two, Lan Wangji would have left the cave with the others. Maybe Jiang Cheng would have stayed behind, or maybe someone else would have, or possibly no one! I like to think Lan Wangji would have stayed regardless of any feelings he has towards Wei Wuxian, simply because he’s that kind of person. He stands up for Mianmian because it’s the right thing to do, for example. But as things are, it’s important that Lan Wangji stayed because of Wei Wuxian—because of his feelings for him, because of their friendship, because they have this connection to each other. And I think it’s vital that Lan Wangji is the one to first see what the Yin Iron can do to a person, specifically the person he loves.

So I thought this whole little section here was just Wei Wuxian monologuing in his head the first time I watched this. And then he’s suddenly having a conversation with Lan Wangji, and I was like, “huh?” I am pretty sure I had to rewind and rewatch just so I could understand it with the newly-acquired knowledge that Wei Wuxian was actually talking to Lan Wangji. I’m find being a little confused, but would it have killed them to make Lan Wangji say, “Now we can communicate while you’re inside” or something to that extent, after using his little powers?

Anyhow, fuck, it’s horrible in there! I feel like the smell is visceral, even though I’m watching it on my laptop, it’s like I can feel the damp, air, thick with the smell of death and decay. Credit to Xiao Zhan for just really selling me on what it feels like to be in there. Also I’m so curious what they’ve got him walking through. I wish there were some BTS on that scene. I can imagine (because this is how my mind works) how difficult it was to clean his costume after that. Like that crap must have gotten into every tiny little nook and cranny of his shoes, and just YUCK! They were like, “Just throw them out. We have another pair.”

Since Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are in a sense psychically linked here, does that mean that Lan Wangji can feel the energy that Wei Wuxian feels from the sword? He’s definitely reacting to something going on, but then I think Wei Wuxian talks about it later as if Lan Wangji doesn’t know. The romantic in me says that Lan Wangji is reacting because they are so spiritually connected that he can feel when something is wrong.

And now we have this very long action sequence where Lan Wangji does a lot of flying around and Wei Wuxian clings to that sword like Harry Potter on that bucking broomstick in the first movie. I’m sorry, that’s all I think about, and that thought will never leave my mind. What’s kind of cool is that they remind us immediately that Lan Wangji is still injured, by showing us his bloody leg right at the start of this sequence. So he’s flying around, using everything he’s got left, while still being gravely injured—it shows you just how powerful Lan Wangji is. He’s no weakling.

Another cool detail is that you can actually see the staining on Wei Wuxian’s boots from the muck he was walking around in! Nice continuity!

I can’t help it, anytime Lan Wangji yells out, “Wei Ying!” I melt into a puddle on the floor. There’s something about how little he does talk that when he does, it’s important and meaningful and impactful. And, yes, most of his lines are yelling out Wei Ying’s name, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful when he does it. Every time he says it, it’s a reminder that there is a strong relationship there. As I’ve said before, even Jiang Cheng doesn’t call him by his given name. This is not just an everyday friendship here—it’s more than that—it’s a bond that can’t be broken even in death. That might sound silly and dramatic, but it doesn’t make it any less true. And that’s why when I hear him say, “Wei Ying!” it draws to the surface all of these other feelings. It’s not just a name, it’s not just a line—it’s something so much more.

Also, I want to point out that as soon as Lan Wangji figures out something is indeed very wrong with Wei Wuxian, he goes into overdrive. His hands are bleeding from the bowstring in his hand, his teeth are gritted, he somehow reaches into himself for even more power to defeat this monster.

Seriously? How dare you interrupt my wangxian scene with this garbage? I could not care less about anything going on in this scene. Just fuck off. The worst cut ever. What a stupid cut.

So, as if the Tortoise of Slaughter wasn’t bad enough, this poor kid (because he is just a kid) is now traumatized by the voices coming out of that sword. The pain, the fear, the negative energy—all of it was coursing through him, and worst of all, perhaps, he was even able to use that energy to defeat the monster. And I think, now that he’s felt it and seen it and used it, there’s really no going back. Dangerous? Yes, it’s dangerous, but it’s also powerful, and it saved their lives.

This part kills me every time, though, no matter how many times I see it. Wei Wuxian is just a husk of the person he was ten minutes ago. Where’s that cocky, smirking smartass? Where’s the Wei Wuxian we all know and love? But the reality is, part of him is lost. And throughout the scene, he’s clutching that sword, as if his life still depended on it. He won’t let that thing go, and I also find that hard to watch. And Lan Wangji here is out of his mind, desperate to help him. He runs into the water so fast, as if there is no leg injury at all. And, of course, that’s adrenaline for you, but it’s also just a testament to his strength and resolve and his willingness to go into a literal hell for Wei Wuxian.

And even in his feverish state, Wei Wuxian can’t help but tease Lan Wangji a little, pointing out that he never expected Second Master Lan to be this concerned about him. But it’s interesting that he uses that formal title there, as if he’s putting distance between them. Wei Wuxian is just Wei Wuxian—Wei Ying—and Lan Wangji is Second Master Lan. Whether it’s intentional or not, he’s drawing attention to this hierarchical difference between them, and I don’t think it’s a self-worth issue at all, because I think Wei Wuxian is okay with who his is—I don’t think he has qualms about that really. It’s more driving home the point of we shouldn’t be this close. Or isn’t it funny that we are this close? And he later draws a parallel to Jiang Cheng (again) by saying that at least Jiang Cheng wouldn’t be a boring companion (EDIT: Okay, he doesn’t say that—maybe in the book?). Ironic, because their stay in Xuanwu cave has been anything but boring. But I also think Jiang Cheng would not have been able to maintain his cool at all in that cave. No, I think that Wei Wuxian needed Lan Wangji to survive. He needed someone a little cold, logical, quick-witted, but desperate.

OMG, ALSO! Can I point out the lovely, beautiful, haunting cello music that’s playing this whole time? Not on the OST, which is a damn shame. So you’ll have to watch the episode to hear it, but it’s just so beautiful.

And pause for the clip show that will also make you cry!

“Wangxian.” Yes, yes, the greatest mystery of this whole series—the name of the song and how Lan Wangji immediately recognized Wei Wuxian in the second episode. So I don’t think they ever actually tell you the name of the song, right? It’s like this fun little thing for the fans of the book, and maybe they couldn’t say it because of censorship (because of what it implies, you know?). I’m not a great lip reader, but it looks like “Wangxian” to me. And if he’s saying something else, I don’t care—it is going to be Wangxian to me, regardless.

Man, this scene, though. I can never really hear the humming because you have to turn up the volume so damn loud, and even then it’s hard to hear. Maybe it’s just me. The first time I watched it, I was like, is he actually humming? I don’t hear anything. I was, again, confused. But anyway, it’s good that we see all those scenes with Lan Wangji, because guess what? You’re not going to see him for three or four episodes, FML. FML. FML.

FML.

Can you tell I’m not excited about these upcoming parts? Honestly it’s so tempting to skip it, but that’s not the point of this rewatch. I likely won’t have a ton to say, though, so maybe I’ll do more than one a week (don’t count on it, though).

Okay, guys. Here we go. If you think Jiang Cheng is a kind, gentle soul with a rough exterior, then you may not want to read the next few episodes. I like Jiang Cheng. I do. However, he is an asshole. A complete and total asshole with the occasional kind word thrown someone’s way. I think he cares about Wei Wuxian, as I’ve said before, but that he cares about himself far more. He is the antithesis to Lan Wangji. And that’s definitely on purpose. So, feel free to send me asks or whatever (and that goes for anyone, by the way—I don’t bite and I like to chat with people), but you’re not going to be able to convince me even that CQL Jiang Cheng is a good guy. I think you could try and read him that way, but you’d be ignoring some key things in his behavior and his character.

All right. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s start anew. It fucking sucks that the first people Wei Wuxian sees upon waking up are Jin Zixuan and Jiang Cheng, both of which essentially scold him immediately, as if he didn’t fucking save their lives back there. I’m sorry, that guy right there—yeah, him—he was read to sacrifice himself to save you. Jin Zixuan, “I didn’t do it for you.” Then why? You did it for Lan Wangji? Or you did it because it would be politically advantageous to you because you were engaged to Jiang Yanli? I’m just saying, be nicer to the man who was willing to die for you, okay?

Oh, my god, as if that weren’t enough, Jiang Cheng actually gets angry that Wei Wuxian doesn’t thank him! And this isn’t some macho guy thing where he just can’t show that he cares about him—this is just who Jiang Cheng is. He thinks of himself first and others second. Period.

So aside from those two being assholes, we do at least get some information here. The clans are now all resolved to fight against the Wen Clan. They all know what’s going on and they’re finally ready to stand up against it. The Cloud Recesses is trashed and Lan Wangji left on his own to go back, presumably to take it back from the Wens. I would have loved a heartfelt scene of them getting out together, but that isn’t even in the book, so CQL isn’t going to add that kind of nice stuff, I guess. But they did add this scene, which is mostly just showcasing that Jin Zixuan and Wei Wuxian still don’t like each other, Jiang Cheng is an asshole, and the world is generally fucked up right now.

A reminder that even though he’s in the bright sunlight, Wei Wuxian still has this darkness. It’s permeated him now. He can’t turn away from it. It’s part of him. And it’s something he can’t really share with anyone else—Lan Wangji to a point, but even he doesn’t get to know everything. However, he is, I think, the only one who would have listened.

Cute detail from the book, that Wei Wuxian had carved this into his headboard. What a romantic lol. I don’t have anything special to say other than, y’know, those two could be both guys.

It’s hard to even know what to say here. So much is going on, so many emotions, so many accusations—and Wei Wuxian is caught up in all of this. Madam Yu starts by chastising him for making trouble when he didn’t need to (she thought it better to let the Jins and Lans handle things, no need for the Jiangs to get involved), and then it spirals into this horrible tirade about Jiang Fengmian being hung up on Wei Wuxian’s mother, and in turn favoring Wei Wuxian over his own son because of it. There is so much jealousy and hatred and guilt wrapped up in all of this, it’s hard to even comment. I can’t imagine growing up the way Jiang Cheng did, feeling second best in everything by someone who’s not even your actual brother, feeling like your own father doesn’t really love you as much as he loves someone else. And now throw in that your father doesn’t love your mother because he had an affair with another woman. I can’t imagine how awful that would be. And despite what people might say, it’s hard to really, truly, break away from your parents, especially in a culture like this. It’s important to honor your parents in everything, so standing up to them is a definite no-no. And Jiang Cheng probably feels like the only parent who really loves him is his mother, even though she is the worst person ever. This doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it does help explain a bit of why he does the things he does to Wei Wuxian. I think he’s itching to feel superior over him, and that he’s been extremely jealous of him for a long, long time.

And then, god, what Wei Wuxian is feeling here! He’s the first one to always take the hit for Jiang Cheng. He’s always going to do whatever he can to make him feel better. He makes the sacrifices. That’s part of who Wei Wuxian is—he’s very selfless and courageous. I also can’t imagine how he feels, to be stuck in the middle of this very personal, very private family argument. The kind of raw emotion that’s on display in this scene is hard for me to watch. It’s awkward, it’s ugly, it’s a dark side to family dynamics that a lot of us thankfully never have to experience. It’s horrible to think that even when Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were basically awaiting death in that cave, it was quite peaceful, though the landscape was harsh. And now that he’s back in this peaceful setting of Lotus Pier, he’s faced with another monster in the form of his adoptive family.

Of course Wei Wuxian knows that Jiang Fengmian doesn’t love him more—he’s harsher with Jiang Cheng because he’s the heir and he needs to be tougher, he needs to be able to lead this clan. I’m curious if Jiang Fengmian actually did have an affair, but if anything, it was probably emotional. I don’t think that Wei Wuxian is his love child or anything. But at the end of the day, the way I read this is just that the man has trouble being there for his son on an emotional level, and he feels bad for Wei Wuxian and overcompensates for that by giving him more attention. The thing is, while I don’t agree with it, I think he’s harder on his son because Jiang Cheng needs to someday lead. All Wei Wuxian needs to do is support that. And he does. He always supports Jiang Cheng. Always, that is, until Wei Wuxian finally starts to think about what he wants to do with his life, and he doesn’t want to spend it torturing people who don’t deserve it.

The Twin Prides of Yunmeng. It’s a nice idea, but it relies on Wei Wuxian submitting himself to Jiang Cheng at all times for the rest of their lives. It makes Wei Wuxian give up his agency. It makes him give up his dream to do what’s right and always have a clear conscience. If he had followed Jiang Cheng into fire, he would have had to lose himself in the process. So this is a promise that Wei Wuxian could never hope to keep. Although it’s a nice promise, it was said to make Jiang Cheng feel better.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |

[anditendshowyoudexpect]

There remains a stigma attached to the word ‘breakdown’, when actually it’s a very legitimate response to life in the early twenty-first century. We are not designed for the non-stop world we live in, the pressures put upon us, and those we bring upon ourselves. For young people, especially, those pressures are becoming ever more intense. Social media, the battle for jobs, the speed with which we judge – it’s a lot easier for kids now to be made to feel inadequate in so many different ways. I worry about what any child picks up in their subconscious just through their daily interaction with the world. Societal pressure has got worse for children, and I hope my own experiences will make me better able to help my children tread that difficult path.

*

Billie was magnificent as Rose. I knew she was good at the time but looking back now I can see her absolute brilliance. It reminds me how much we loved working together, which is palpably obvious on screen. Actors work at chemistry; it doesn’t just come with a snap of the fingers, but we were fortunate enough to have something there from the start. We were also professionals and knew how to achieve on-screen banter. What truly amazes me is I know how nervous Billie was at the start. She thought I was some big serious performer and she didn’t have the belief in herself as an actor. She proved herself, of course, to be way better than any of the rest of us. Her luminosity on screen comes from herself, not those around her, and instinctively she made Rose exactly the person she should be. When Doctor Who won a BAFTA for Best Drama, it was Billie for whom I was truly delighted. The reception she got when the show was screened made any lingering reservations on her part about her ability evaporate. It was admirable in her that she had zero arrogance that she could do it. The work she has done since has shown her to be worthy of every accolade that comes her way.

Watching our characters now reinforces what I concluded at the time: Russell enjoys writing more for women than he does for men. If so, I’m glad – there’s been a lot of writing for men. Rose arrives on screen fully formed, one of the strongest female characters of any show of any year, painting a solid line leading directly to Jodie Whittaker. If you think about it, the relaunch in 2005 was actually the chance to create the first female Doctor. Why not do it then? Perhaps, really, we should be looking back on Billie Piper not as Rose but as the Doctor.

*

The attitude exists that, in the relationship between producer, director and actor, they are the adults and we are the children. I agree, actors can behave like children, they can be spoilt – but not this one, and not a lot of others I know. A working relationship can’t operate on a basis of master and servant. If a director, or anyone else on set, comes in and has bad manners, then chances are they’ll hear from me.

This idea that actors can be manipulated and pushed around to suit the agendas of others irritates me. On Shallow Grave, prior to the shoot, myself, Ewan McGregor and Kerry Fox lived in a flat together for a week. We rehearsed, read scenes, and got to know each other. I considered it to be a budgetary and practical arrangement, but after the film came out Danny talked about it as being a social experiment, which I objected to because to me it was like the director playing God. If Danny wanted to conduct an experiment to gauge our reaction and interaction to one another, he should have told us. Had I known, I would doubtless have gained something from the situation. Danny, I expect, would argue otherwise, that the actors wouldn’t get it. Well, I’m more intelligent than that. As it turned out, Danny’s plan was counterproductive because all it did was give myself, Kerry and Ewan a week to realise we didn’t like each other very much and didn’t get on. We had entirely different backgrounds, approaches to acting, and sensibilities. All three of us were also very, very ambitious and insecure with it. Danny would probably argue that that tension then manifested itself on screen. I think that’s bollocks. This idea of pitting one actor against another is dangerous, manipulative and patronising. The film would have been better without all that nonsense.

I’m not alone in feeling dismayed at misplaced directorial interference. Anthony Hopkins once arranged for the cast of Frankenstein to go for a Chinese meal during rehearsals. Anthony received a message from Francis Ford Coppola: ‘Francis doesn’t want you to go for a Chinese meal,’ it read, ‘because he feels it would break the atmosphere.’

Anthony Hopkins’ reaction was simple – ‘Bollocks, we’re going for a Chinese meal.’

*

In a way, Let Him Have It was an example of the British film industry bowing to American values. I hate Forrest Gump. I would like to burn every single copy of that film for the way it treats both mental health issues and women. A sexually free female character who ends up with AIDS? That tells you everything. I wanted to make an angrier, more polemical, more complicated film about a young man who deserved more than just to have the label ‘simple’ pinned to his lapel.

*

That presence, that intensity, that some people, not just Peter, have identified again comes from growing up, like most working class children, with the institutional message, ‘You’re stupid’, as did my father, as did my brothers. If you’re working class in this country, you may be able to shovel shit or push a trolley, but, ‘You are thick. You do not emote.’ ‘You are thick. You are not worthy of a decent education.’ Those central messages of unworthiness become so ingrained that they are self-perpetuating. Come up with a big word and not only are you mocked – ‘Oh, where did that come from?’ – but you mock yourself. So yes, I am intense, and that’s because there’s a lot of fierce concentration on trying to be articulate, rather than that laid-back public-school attitude to intellect that some people seem to have.

*

My dad had definitely shared with me a very visible masculinity. His appearance and actions shouted standard maleness, but the way I viewed him was different. It seemed obvious to me that, at his core, causing his outward behaviour, was a great femininity and vulnerability. My view of maleness was formed from how tyrannical my dad could be and yet how gentle. Through him, I learned to accept that the two things could coexist. I too have a masculinity allied to an intensely female side. Perhaps the difference is I’m aware of it. Dad, I think, found his sensitivity a source of conflict. For many years, I was the same. I resented it. I resented the part of me that made me different. If you are a late-twentieth-century male, traditional working-class, you are not going to like that side of yourself. I wanted to be black and white. I didn’t understand that it is the sensitive side that offers true insight in life – intuition and empathy.

*

Similarly, there’d be no bunches of flowers from Dad – none of that – and he didn’t like dancing – he was too self-conscious, too embarrassed – so Mum would always dance with somebody else.

I once went into my mum and dad’s room and saw a book, The Sun is my Tormentor, a Mandingo-esque novel of love and adventure, by Mum’s side of the bed. Seeing my mother in middle age and her desire for romance moved me deeply. It made me cry. I felt for her emptiness and also because I knew there were greater romantic novels that, because of her conditioning as being unworthy of such literature, she perhaps felt she couldn’t venture into.

*

We wrapped the production on Friday, had a party, and then on Saturday morning I’d arranged to go to Old Trafford with my dad. I was really looking forward to it – and he turned up with the season tickets from two years before. I’m disgusted with myself thinking about it now, but I gave him a bollocking. I was pissed off because I couldn’t go to the game. More than that, though, I was pissed off because he had dementia. That is shameful on my part, but genuinely that is the case. Maybe that shame is something others in the same position will recognise, an occasional presence of a selfish internal voice, one that so desperately craves ‘normality’.

I put my anger at his illness down to coming straight off the back of Flesh and Blood, with its fictional narrative so unflinchingly similar to my own non-fiction life. Amid that emotion, present as he always was whenever me and my dad knocked heads, was that little boy who was frightened of him. I definitely harboured residual anger towards him, a straight reflection of the anger he’d exhibited towards me. Sounds harsh, but he was getting back the temper he taught me. I was in control now. I’m not proud of that, and I’m not saying it’s right, but that’s how I justified it to myself.

I looked into his eyes and could see him trying to process what was going on. He was staring at the season tickets, semi-computing that they were the ones from two years ago, while trying to work out what the situation meant, and what should happen next. For ten seconds, my peripheral vision was blacked out, blinkered. All I saw was this big, fierce bird-like face looking around lost in confusion. I put Dad on the bus home, the route being familiar to him, and walked away. I rang later and explained to my mum what had happened. And then I started crying. I cried for four hours. That night I had a date with my girlfriend. I told her about it and cried all over again. I broke my heart like I’ve never broken my heart since. That moment of seeing his confusion had left a mark – not a bruise, but a deep, lasting weal. Until that point, I’d understood intellectually that my dad had dementia because we’d been told. But emotionally I hadn’t understood it at all. And then there, in the street outside Old Trafford, I’d been given a window into somebody going mad. Becoming demented. That’s the truth of it – demented. It’s a shocking word. We used to talk about demented dogs, and we shot them. When we say dementia, there’s no hiding the truth. It means people are demented. We can dress that up however we want, but there’s no denying the naked reality beneath. That day I had been presented with the stark vision of a man floundering in a maze of his mind’s own making. Not knowing who and where he was. And I’d just been horrible to him. And he was my dad.

*

Esme asked me the other day, ‘Daddy, do you like Mummy?’

‘Well,’ I said, ‘when me and Mummy met, we fell in love and had you. Having two children very quickly is hard on parents in a relationship and then Mummy and Daddy started to not like each other. Now, Esme, as you’ve seen, we are trying to be friends.’

As a child, I would have liked that level of honesty and candidness with my parents, but it was no more part of Ronnie and Elsie than it had been their parents, and so on and so on before. I completely understand that the openness switch was neither at their fingertips nor was it socially reinforced. Emotion could hold a working-class child back, make them unready for what was to come – what they were for. I am thankful to have been given the opportunity to have a more grounded relationship with my children. Before Albert and Esme, playing football, wrestling, doing a crossword or mock-boxing with my own dad were the happiest things I could ever imagine in my life. They go right to the heart of me. Now, I have a new happiness with my own children. And it is a happiness born of honesty.

The blight on that happiness is that I don’t live with them. I know I’ve yet to come to terms with that fact. This book will help, the increasing distance from the hospitalisation will help, but it’s something that will always hurt inside. The legal system could certainly help deliver balance for parents and children involved in separation and divorce. Hopefully, we are in the dog days of the Victorian view of men and women and their role in their children’s lives, which has led to institutional and historic bias. In the twenty-first century, an authentic emotional relationship can come from a man as much as a woman.

*

I wanted to throw a spotlight on the generations, the millions and millions, for whom ‘success’, defined as anything other than the basic survival of themselves and their family, was a concept of which they were denied to the extent that they were chained, leg, wrist and neck, to an institutionally blessed mindset of zero expectation. To those in charge of those institutions, the working class is as it describes. A production line of workers, nothing more, nothing less. People? With character, hope, intelligence, ambition? Forget it. Get back in your box and shut up.

I was asked a few years ago to go on the BBC genealogy show Who Do You Think You Are? I agreed and they started looking into my family tree. It says everything that the project went nowhere. They tugged aside the leaves on those branches and concluded, ‘Nothing to see here.’ Generations of working-class people dismissed. Individuals with their own hopes, dreams and stories. Not army generals, industrialists, vaudeville singers, but factory workers, farm labourers, cleaners, nothing in any way ‘sexy’ enough for TV.

No doubt if someone like me had popped up in the dim and distant, all would have been good. But why? My father had all my abilities, linguistically, physically, and then some. So, no doubt, did generations before him. I get that my life has been far more fulfilled than my father’s and those before him, but for me that makes him the far more interesting story. What do I know of life? I’m not driving stacker trucks all day at Colgate-Palmolive and then going to Bulmers and driving stacker trucks there all night. I’m not cleaning floors in a launderette like Mum. And yet how often is the story of the working class ever told on TV? I don’t mean the dross that is soaps. I mean properly told? The answer is less and less. Working-class stories don’t fit in boxsets. They don’t make money. They don’t fit the business model of selling to global TV. And yet they are the lives that talk to me, define me. They are the lives I find endlessly fascinating.

Christopher Eccleston, I Love the Bones of You

[mustlovemustypages]

Yuletide 2019 Letter

Dear potential writer,

I’m so incredibly excited that it’s Yuletide season again and I hope you are as well. Thank you for reading my letter and also thank you in advance for anything you decide to write for me!

Below are my desired fandoms and pairings along with story ideas that I would love to see written. Please don’t feel stifled by my prompts; I’ve also listed my general likes and dislikes at the very bottom of this letter if you decide to go a different route.

Peanuts:

Characters: Charlie Brown and Lucy van Pelt

This is my most unusual request, so I figured it best to put it out there first. I grew up both reading the Peanuts comics and watching the various Charlie Brown movies/television specials, so this is fueled by pure nostalgia upon seeing the nomination in the tag set.

Even as a kid before knowing what shipping was, I wanted desperately to see Charlie Brown and Lucy get together. Their back-and-forth banter with Lucy’s sharp remarks and Charlie Brown’s wry sense of humor is perfection. I don’t often request things too far from canon, but I would love to see a story with them as adults and how even though they didn't see eye-to-eye as children, over the years they have become just what the other needs.

Story ideas:

It's their high school class reunion, and it's been years since the Peanuts gang have all been in one place. Charlie Brown and Lucy are either already together, surprising the other characters by how well they get along and know each other, or everyone at the reunion sees how perfect they would be together except for them.

Lucy becomes a psychiatrist (although she charges way more than 5 cents for advice now) and Charlie Brown a child social worker. They run into each other by coincidence while they're both dealing with difficult cases and help each other cope.

Charlie Brown has recently broken up with the Little Redhead Girl and Lucy with Schroeder right before the holidays. Both disillusioned, they run into each other in the big city and decide that what they need is a road trip back home. Amazing banter ensues.

Similar to the last prompt, both Charlie Brown and Lucy have recently broken up with their respective partners. Not wanting to go back home for the holidays single, they decide to give the ridiculous, we'll-never-fall-for-each-other fake relationship thing a go.

The Boys (TV 2019):

Characters: Starlight|Annie January and Hughie Campbell

Just when I thought nothing new could be brought to the superhero genre, Amazon comes out with this smashing success. It reminds me of X-Men in a way due to the social commentary made by several of the plotlines. I especially appreciate how the show comments on celebrity status and social media.

Aside from that, far and away one of the best things about the show is the relationship between Annie and Hughie. Even in the midst of so much corruption, these two characters somehow remain so earnest and pure. The fact that they formed a connection on that bench before even knowing the other's name speaks volumes about their respective characters and chemistry.

Story ideas:

Despite being integral to the plot, it was crushing to see the moment Annie realized Hughie had been using her to enact revenge. Canon divergence where Hughie tells her the truth almost right from the get-go and Annie immediately is onboard to help would be really fun to read!

Another fun twist would be if Butcher approached Annie instead of Hughie for help, and she agreed to act as a double agent. The scene at the bench still goes down as does the one where Hughie realizes Annie is Starlight (although he's a real photographer). Perhaps Annie sneaks off to do some double agenting and Hughie follows. Annie almost gets caught and pretends to be dating Hughie as a cover.

After the explosive conversation with her mother and finding out she wasn't born with her powers like she thought, Annie tracks down Hughie to rant.

Season 2 can't come soon enough. I would be interested in speculation of what could happen next as long as it includes Hughie/Annie!

Impulse (TV 2018):

Characters: Henrietta “Henry” Coles, Lucas Boone, Jenna Hope, Townes Linderman

This show became a surprise favorite of mine in 2018, mostly because it’s on YouTube Red and I haven’t given most of their original shows much thought. Also because it tackles rape and recovery in such a raw and interesting way, especially in the context of a sci-fi show.

I just need more Henry Coles. If you want to do a romantic relationship, I’d prefer seeing something explored with Lucas Boone or her canon love interest Josh (who was only in 2 episodes but really seemed to “get” Henry). Otherwise, gen stories between Henry and any/all of the tag set characters would be great. Season 2 is just now coming out as I write this, so feel free to ignore or include it as desired. I tried to keep the prompts general enough that they can apply to either season.

Story Ideas:

Henry will never be fully “recovered” in the sense that one can never truly recover from rape. It will always have an impact on her life. The other characters get that and try to help her in any way they can.

While Lucas is aware of what his brother did to Henry, he has no idea of the real impact. I’d love a story where he learns more about her seizures and the way her anxiety/fears manifest themselves as teleportation.

Hurt/comfort in all forms because Henry has been hurt enough for a lifetime, but she could do with a whole lot more comfort. Either within the confines of season 1 or imagined opportunities for comfort in season 2.

We get the story from mostly Henry’s perspective, but I’m sure a lot is going on in the minds of Lucas, Jenna, Townes, and Anna as the events of season 1 play out.

The Folk of the Air

Characters: Cardan Greenbriar and Jude Duarte

Holly Black is an evil genius and I bow down to her greatness. Starting off the first book in this series, I never would have imagined that by the end I’d be rooting for Jude and Cardan to be together, but here we are.

They are the ultimate enemies-to-lovers and I can’t wait to see what happens to them in the third book coming in November.

Story ideas:

Maybe I'm unrealistically optimistic, but despite Jude’s betrayal at the end of the first book and Cardan's at the end of the second, I think these two can work it out. Perhaps Jude helps Cardan cope with the stresses of being king and he is able to move past what she did. Or maybe they each realize how impossible their respective situations were and come to accept the questionable decisions the other made.

Madoc is a horrible father. Jude basically knows this from the beginning. Still, she was genuinely upset in discovering what he had done. I’d love to see her finally release all of that pent up anger - either her using Cardan as a sounding board for her rants or even having her completely breakdown under all of the stress and him comforting her.

We get the perspective of Jude throughout the entire book, but I would really enjoy seeing some of the scenes from Cardan’s point of view as his feelings for Jude change.

There is no way that Jude’s sister, Vivienne, wouldn’t be alarmed when finding out that Jude and Cardan kissed. Jude having to explain her changed feelings for Cardan and Vivienne, realizing that Jude is in love would be hilarious and heartwarming.

With the third book coming out soon, feel free to either include or not include elements from it. As long as there is Jude/Cardan, I will be happy.

Nancy Drew (TV 2019):

Characters: Nancy Drew and Ned "Nick" Nickerson

Only one episode in and I was impressed by this show. Up until now, I hadn't seen or read an iteration of Nancy Drew that I didn't enjoy, but I'll admit I was scared as sometimes the CW makes questionable choices with their adaptations. They have done a fantastic job with casting, though, and updating things just enough for the modern era without taking away the charm of the original.

When it boils down to it, Nancy Drew appeals to me because she is unabashedly herself, not ever pretending to be something that she's not to get others to like her. And although it's just getting started, so far the interactions she has with Nick and her father, Carson, are my favorite.

Nancy is a guest on a true-crime podcast featuring amateur detectives. Nick tags along and watches from outside the recording studio in amusement, or perhaps the hosts bring up Nick's criminal past on-air and Nancy gets defensive.

Maybe Nick and Nancy start a true-crime podcast of their own and it's an unexpected hit.

Carson Drew is not 100% onboard with Nancy and Nick's not-so-secret relationship. When Nancy suddenly stops shutting down Carson's attempts to connect with her and Carson finds out it was due to Nick's influence, he changes his tune about his daughter's boyfriend.

The gang goes to an escape room for fun. Nick is amused by how seriously Nancy takes it.

We haven't gotten very far into the season yet, but any speculation fics about where the mystery goes would be interesting as well!

Out-of-left field request: If you're not a fan of Nancy/Nick in the new show, I'd be open to a story where the Hardy Boys arrive in River Heights (I'm not so secretly hoping the CW makes this a TV show if Nancy Drew succeeds). Although I love Nick and Nancy together, I have always loved Nancy/Frank stories as well.

Things I don't like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Peanuts into a supernatural werewolf story or have the fantasy/sci-fi canons take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs or something similar because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding).

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within ships to be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per romantic relationship, please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters. If you hate my pairings, just write gen.

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.  

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up the canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people growing closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset or situation and get better is so satisfying.

Thanks again and happy writing!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net)

[davidthetraveler]

1. did you actually say 'flute biscuits' in your tags?? bc if you do, i love you, you absolute dork. 2. 💬x2! :)

1.  Yes, yes I did just say that.  I use it for cursing instead of… the more obvious choice.

2.  Well, let’s see what we’ve got here.  *rustles through works*  Ah, I think I know which one I want to use.

In honor of your double ask, I’m going to share a very special excerpt from the sequel to my main story, called Changing Perspectives:  a little scene from a chapter called “Shall We Dance?”.

Be warned, this is far enough ahead in my story’s future that spoilers are very much at play here.  I’ve made sure there’s nothing too revealing, but I know some people will probably be able to glean some very spoilery information from this, so read at your own risk.

Thomas fell backinto the sectional, looking even more dejected than before.  David stared at him in surprise.

“You’re reallyserious about this aren’t you?” he mumbled.

Thomassighed.  “I just…I just don’t want tomess this up.”

David turned awayfrom him, thinking, before looking around the room.  A small smirk appeared on his face as theidea took shape in his head.  He quicklygot up and began moving the coffee table in front of the TV station.

“There, thatshould do it,” he said to himself, admiring the larger space he’d made in theroom.  Thomas just stared at him,confused.

“Uh, what are youdoing?”

“Well we need thespace if I’m going to teach you how to dance.”

“You know how todance?”

“Of course Ido.  Do you know how many balls I’ve beento?”

The reminder ofhis disastrous lesson with Roman made Thomas flinch, but David shook his headin reassurance as he came back to sit on the sectional.

“Don’t worry, we’renot going to do anything you can’t handle.”

David suddenlyfell back, asleep, and then his transdimensional form phased out and came tostand in front of Thomas, hand offered to help him up.  Thomas hesitated, but at David’s encouragingsmile, he grasped his hand and allowed himself to be pulled up and into thecenter of the room.

“Now, first thingsfirst, if you’re going to learn how to dance properly, you need to learn how tomove in a suit, not cozy bed clothes.”

Thomas looked downat his somewhat ragged appearance.  “ButI don’t have a suit.”

“Don’t worry aboutit.  I’ll take care of it.”

David began tomove around Thomas, muttering to himself as he looked him over.

“Now let mesee…let me check your size…the shade of your eyes.  I’m thinking something simple, but daringtoo.  Oh, just leave this to me, what asuit this will be!”

David stopped infront of him, and began to wave his hand, causing a swirl of blue energy tosurround Thomas’ form as David quietly chanted to himself, “Bippity boppity,bippity boppity, bippity boppity boo!”

At the last word,the energy dissipated, and Thomas was left wearing the most elegant suit he’dever seen.  The coat, pants and vest werea deep purple that seemed to shine in the lamplight of the room.  The shirt and tie beneath were a glisteningblack, and the black shoes had a polished sheen to match.

Thomas lookedhimself over in amazement before undoing the jacket buttons and doing a shorttwirl to get the feel of it before turning back to David, a genuine smile ofappreciation on his face.

“How do I look?”

David paused insilent amazement.  “You look perfect.”

“It’samazing!  And it feels so…right!”  He did a few more spins and a quick box stepas David recovered himself, resuming his more confident and collected attitude.

“I do try mybest.  Now, all we need is some music.”

David snapped hisfingers, and a flash of blue light caused the table area behind the sectionalto disappear, replaced by a small band and its conductor.

“Maestro,” Davidgreeted, bowing his head at the man in front, who returned the gesture.

“Greetings,sir.  Another dance lesson, might Ipresume?”

“You know it.  I’m actually teaching Thomas here how todance.”  He clapped Thomas on theshoulder.

“Ah, a big ball togo to, then?”

Thomas blushedbefore muttering out, “Something like that.”

“Very well then,sir.  What can we do for you?”

“We’ll need tostart with something basic and easy to follow,” David replied, snapping himselfinto his own set of formal attire.  “So,how about ‘Someone to Watch Over Me’, instrumental only, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, sir,”the maestro replied, turning to prepare the band.  “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Go ahead and getstarted, we’ll come in when we can.”

Maestro nodded,then turned to count off the band.  Asoft piano began to play the opening notes, and David moved away from Thomas toget into position.

“Now, we’ll beginwith some simple steps.  Just about everykind of couple dancing can be boiled down to these.  Since it’s your first time, I’ll go ahead andlead.  But make sure you pay attention tohow I lead, so you’ll know how to do it yourself.”

Thomas nodded asDavid reached out to take his hands.

“So, place yourleft hand on my shoulder, and your right hand in my left.”

Thomas did asinstructed.  Carefully trying to achievea firm yet gentle grip.

“Now, your feetare going to mirror mine:  when I stepforward, you’ll step back, and vice versa.”

David demonstratedby moving his right foot forward, and Thomas after a moment moved his left backto match.  David then moved his back,followed by Thomas’, before repeating the actions with his other foot, againmirrored hesitantly by Thomas.

“That’s it.  Now, follow my lead, one step at a time.”

David began totake small simple steps, carefully guiding Thomas to follow along as theyslowly moved about the space.

“See, you’regetting the hang of it,” he encouraged as he began to incorporate morecomplicated steps into the route.  Thomaswas getting anxious, and could feel himself stiffening up.

“Loosen up alittle, and don’t worry,” David said.  “I’mjust a mental projection, you’re not going to hurt me.”

Thomas took in abreath and did his best to let go of the stress and just feel the rhythm of themusic and the slight pressure from David’s hands.  Soon enough, he could feel himself fallinginto step with David.

“There you go,that’s it.”

The two continuedfor a time, mostly just moving around the room in a circle, but alsooccasionally incorporating more complicated maneuvers into the mix.  David suddenly let out a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?”Thomas asked.

“You know whatthis reminds of?” David replied.

“What?”

“The Doctorteaching Seven how to dance.”

Thomas waspuzzled.  “I don’t remember a characternamed Seven on Doctor Who.”

Now it was David’sturn.  “What?  No, not that Doctor.  The Doctor from Voyager.  Seven of Ninestarted showing interest in pursuing a romantic relationship, so the Doctorstarted giving her lessons on human dating. He inadvertently started falling in love with Seven during that time, infact.  Anyway, one of the things hetaught her was how to dance.  It wasreally nice.”

Thomas smiled atthe thought as they continued to move about the space to the music.

After the song wasover, they continued with another, and then another.  After a while, David dismissed the band andset up a gramophone playing a simple piano rendition of “Beauty and the Beast”as they continued.  Thomas was feelingmuch more confident in his movements at this point, and David had even allowedhim to try leading.  There were a fewbumps, but he was soon moving like a pro.

“You are quite thequick learner,” David complimented.

“Thank you.”

“A little morepractice and you’ll be able to sweep anyone off their feet.”

“Well, I don’tknow…”

“Oh come on,Thomas, you have to admit that you are quite the charming fellow.  Any guy who got to meet you would be smitten,and this is just going to make that charm stronger.”

Thomas blushed ashe spun them around in preparation for a dip to end the song.  “You really think so?”

“I know so.”

Thomas dipped him,and as he held David, the two stared into each other’s eyes, lost in themoment.  As he watched, he thought hecould see David’s thoughts preparing to say something.  But suddenly David seemed to realize where hewas, and his expression closed off as he stood up, pulling himself out ofThomas’ arms.

“Well, I thinkyou’ve gotten the basics down,” he concluded, looking flustered.  “I think you’ll do wonderfully at the gala.”

Thomas felt hisheart drop, but forced the disappointment down as the gramophone and his suitmelted away.

“I hope so.  Anyway, I think I’ll turn in.”

David nodded as hemoved back over to his body.  Thomas wentto move upstairs, but halfway up he turned back.

“Oh, and David?”

David turned tolook at him.

“Thank you, forall of this.”

David smiled.  “My pleasure, Thomas.”

Thomas nodded andmade his way up the rest of the stairs, David watching him as he went with alonging in his heart.  “It’s always mypleasure.”

[syriul]

A Time Traveler in Viking Court - Part 9/?

“This has got to be one of the most amazing things I’ve ever see.”

You ran you hand over the red paint that decorated the chariot in front of you.  It was bigger than you’d expected, much more intimidating. An intimidating chariot for an intimidating man.

You placed a foot on top of the chariot and looked towards Ivar, silently asking for permission, before mounting it fully. Ivar nodded in approval.

You sat on the seat and took hold of the reins. You tried sitting as straight as possible and closed your eyes. I wonder what it would be like to go into battle on this baby. After a few moments you opened your eyes and let out a deep sigh.

Without saying a word, you stood up and hopped off the chariot.

“I’ve never seen anything as amazing as this.” You repeated as you turned towards Ivar. 

You could see a proud smile taking over his features. “Really?”

“Oh, yes.” You began walking towards him. “I’ve never seen one of these in person.” 

He opened his mouth as if to say something, but was cut short by the sudden appearance of Ubbe at the barn’s open door. 

“What’s going on here?” He asked, looking back and forth between you and Ivar; he sported a crooked, slightly amused smile.  “I hope you’re not killing each other.”

“Nope, no killing here.” You threw you hands up in a show of innocence as a giggle escaped you. 

“Not yet, anyway.” Ivar let out a hearty laugh. 

Your eyes went wide with shock as your giggle erupted into a full laugh. “I didn’t know you made jokes.” 

“He normally doesn’t.” Ubbe feigned concern. “He must be coming down with something.” He pulled Ivar close to him and held the back of his hand up to Ivar’s forehead. 

You laugh even harder. 

“Would you release me.” Ivar spoke through a laugh. “You don’t know how to respect your king.” 

Ubbe ruffled Ivar’s hair and flaunted you a smile before turning to walk back out the barn door. “Lunch is ready.” He called out over his shoulder before disappearing. 

You playfully smacked Ivar’s shoulder as you walked past him. “Come on, I’m starving.” You heard his slow foot steps behind you. 

I should wait. It can’t be easy walking with those crutches. 

You slowed down your pace and looked over your shoulder towards Ivar; your eyes remained on him until he was right next to you. 

“I do make jokes.” He spoke after a few seconds of silence. 

“What?” You looked at him in confusion as you began walking side by side. 

“I do make jokes.” He repeated with an underlying sadness.

“I’m sure you do, I’d just never seen it.” You gave him a weak smile. 

He returned your smile. 

“But I do like it. It makes you more approachable, less...scary.” You continued.

Ivar quickly diverted his eyes towards the ground as his cheeks turned a bright pink. Oh my God. Is he blushing? 

The rest of the walk to the throne room was in relative silence. 

“I am so tired. I feel like I just completed a cross-fit session or something,” Kyle spoke loud enough so that only you could hear. 

You pulled out the empty chair beside him and sat down. “Good, maybe now you’ll be more than skin and bone. You need some meat on you.” You laughed at you own comment. 

Kyle rolled his eyes and threw a piece of bread at you, you caught it and popped it into you mouth. 

“So,” Kyle spoke louder now, “how was your training?” 

“Great.” A smug smile took over your face. “I didn’t actually train.”

“What? Why not? I thought you were going into the woods for it.” Kyle narrowed his eyes at you. 

He probably thinks I had a fight with Ivar, again. Probably thanks to how silent we were when we came in. 

You pointed towards Ivar. “Cause I was too amazed.” Out of the corner of your eye you could see Ivar shift in his seat at the head of the table. 

Kyle’s eyes flashed towards Ivar before silently questioning you. 

“He’s like Batman. Only without the ugly suit.” You felt yourself growing excited as the memory of Ivar’s mastery of the bow replayed in your mind. “I shit you not, he can hit any mark.” 

“I don’t know what a batman is, but Ivar’s always been great with a bow.” Ubbe spoke up, sounding almost like a proud dad.

“Yeah but he wasn’t only good with a bow!” You slightly rose from you seat. “He also threw an ax! An ax, Kyle! He threw an ax!”

Kyle let out a laugh. 

“How many people have you ever met who own an ax, let alone throw one with accuracy at a mark?” You continued, earning a greater laugh from Kyle. 

You opened your mouth to continue the praise but stopped at the sound of the doors to the throne room opening. An airy laugh, followed by a gruffer one, filled the room as Margrethe and Hvitserk made their way towards the table. 

I bet I can guess what they’ve been up to. Your good mood was beginning to disappear.

You silently watched as Margrethe took her seat next to Ubbe; you felt your face twist in disgust as Ubbe reached for her hand and gently kissed her knuckles. 

“How are you today, dear?” Ubbe spoke so sweetly, like a husband head over heels for his wife. 

The scene made your stomach churn. 

“What?” Hvitserk’s curt question pried your eyes away from Ubbe and Margrethe. 

You looked towards Hvitserk, confusion clearly written all over your face. 

“Why are you looking at them like that?” He elaborated. 

You felt your face go red with embarrassment as your eyes shifted between Ubbe and Margrethe. You opened my mouth, but found yourself unable to form any words. What could I possibly say? 

“What way?” Kyle spoke for you, clearly sounding offended on your behalf. Best friend to the rescue. 

Your hand shot out to cover Kyle’s, which was resting on the table right next to you, and shot him a warning look. Don’t piss off the viking, dude. 

“I was not talking to you,” Hvitserk spit out, “you do not have to try be a hero.”

You slowly turned your head towards Hvitserk and narrowed your eyes at him. People speaking condescendingly to Kyle had always been your one true weak spot. 

“Listen here, buddy,” you released your hold on Kyle’s hand and  gripped the arm rest of your chair as you leaned forward, “you wanna know what my problem is? I’ll tell you. You are...”

“(Y/n), stop.” Kyle’s hand shot up and covered your mouth. 

You jerked your head away from his reach and continued speaking, “...the most disgusting man I’ve ever met.” 

The whole table shifted uncomfortably, even Ivar. 

“I don’t care that you share a woman,” you continued, “what I care about is the fact that you’re literally related.” You emphasized the last word as your looked between Ubbe and Hvitserk. 

“Why is it any of your business?” Margrethe spoke up. “Do you have feeling for Hvitserk?”

You eyes went wide with shock. “No.”

“Then Ubbe?” Margrethe sounded genuinely curious. 

“No.” You repeated. “I don’t have feeling for either of them. Not romantic, at least.”

“Then what does it matter what we do in privacy?” Now it was Ubbe’s turn to speak.

“Because,” you took a deep breath and lowered your voice, “what are you going to do when children become involved.”

“Celebrate.” Hvitserk responded. 

“But how? You won’t even know who the dad is.” You ran your hands through your hair in frustration.

“So this IS about sharing me.” Margrethe stated.

You let out a deep sigh and rested your elbows on the table. “I guess. I don’t know. It’s just... it bothers me so much.”

There was a second of silence.

“I think I know why it bothers you.” You whipped you head towards Kyle as he broke the silence.

If he even mentions my relationship with my own dad I will beat him in front of everyone. 

“I think you’re projecting onto them your own relationship with your -” Kyle was cut short by your hand covering his mouth. 

Oh, how quickly the tables turned. 

You shook your head slowly, letting him know that the topic was off limits in front of others. 

Kyle nodded in understanding. 

“Projecting?” Hvitserk asked.

You turned your head to him and looked him in the eyes. Let them do what they want. 

“Don’t worry about it.” A coldness had settled on your tone. You pushed your chair away from the table, stood up, and walked towards the door. “If anyone needs me, I’ll be by the river.”

Oh, how quickly my mood has soured. 

@salty-holographic-stickers @doklausoneverysurfacepossible @iamwarrenspeace @fandoms-and-flannels @thehunterofthelord@thefangirlsoul @justacrush @florenceivy @marauderette130 @vaisabu

[rileyomalley]

My Blues Baby

Summary: A woman finds herself accomplishing one of her big all time goals, and ends up finding the results are better than she ever expected.

Word Count: 5,473

Rating: General, hella fluff

General Notes: This was mostly written for myself in the wee hours of the morning, sp some transitions may be awkward as are some conversations. So despite that, hope ya’ll enjoy this hot mess!

If she had to sum up her feelings right at this moment, it would be a mix of both anxious and excited. A weird combination that left a person giddy as can be, unable to cease the onslaught of questions running through her mind.

Was this really happening? Was she really about to do one of the few things she'd wanted to do for a long time, even if it was only for a night? Was she seriously going to put her best efforts forward and share her artistry before a crowd of people?

She wasn't foreign to the stage, at least not what came with live performances thinking back to her college days. She'd had plenty of skills under her sleeve in those four years than she did prior. It left her with a confidence being a jack of all trades, and feeling if she really wanted to reach something, to achieve a goal—she wouldn't feel like a complete buffoon stumbling over her own two feet trying.

But now, here she was back stage looking herself over for the final touches before it was time for her to go on. The entirety of this night was based on one dream and one dream alone...she had a deep love of soulful blues and jazz which captivated her in her youth, so in turn she had wanted to—someday—perform such music and hell, even compose some of her own.

Of course, this night was filled with only a few songs that she would perform, and most were covers of beloved songs to both her and perhaps those select few who were keen to the blues/jazz music scene and it's artists. The other few being from Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday and so forth. Then, to finish she would sing a song she'd written herself. There were others she wanted to finish, but this one had more solidarity so far than others so...best to play it safe for now. The experience would be enough.

Busying herself with her hair and makeup, she couldn't help but stop and stare. Her mind going a thousand miles a minute, from the start of this pipe dream to her sudden desire to write the song, to …looking far stunning than she'd ever imagined herself looking. Not to mention one of those few times she'd actually gotten contacts and not hiding behind her glasses. There was a lot of work done here, but something about her reflection just...she only wished it were this easy. To glow so easily as this and...perhaps from this experience, she'd be all the more keen to do more for herself than she ever did day by day.

Sweet sounds of instruments echoed through the building, the slight muffled chatter of the crowd would not break her from staring down at the music sheet—a finalized version of her original song 'You Don't Know Me, But I Want To Know You” laying in warm lighting before her—she gave a soft laugh thinking how all that brewed itself into a tangible form. She couldn't help but laugh because of it, feeling like some hopeless romantic having written such a song, one that was obvious inspiration from another person.

The one she doubted would ever hear it. A girl can dream, though perhaps in some weird strand of fate, he just might.

 She did recall him saying he liked blues music, after all.

 But what universal forces could leave such a busy man as he to come to a place like this, on this particular night or ANY night for that matter? Not that he didn't seem the type but...

It just felt too good to be true, even though the thought was nice.

The thought was there. The love was there for a person who knew nothing about her, or even perhaps that she existed. Such is the heart, eh? Always wanting, yet uncertain of the want being fulfilled.

Nonetheless, she'd be giving it her all tonight. She wasn't about to let something as soft ache leave her to be dull in a chance like this. It was one in a lifetime for an artist, and damn straight she was going to leave a mark in this California town. Lucky enough to be traveling, and to find an agreement with the owner of the joint...she was stupidly lucky. She'd proved her point enough though how much something like this performance mattered, and suppose the owner could see the heart in the matter.

 On in five.

 Okay. One final tousle of her duotone colored hair, she stood taking a deep breath. Once more with warmups and she'd have to make her appearance soon enough. Nervousness did shake her but she kept the thoughts of her supporters and loved ones in mind to keep her steady. Her playlist going over in her mind and how she wanted to fall into character.

She was herself. But she was also a woman full of song, and she wanted to bring one hundred and ten percent to this. To be as alluring and enchanting as those songs were to her. A few more minutes, she heard the band start to warm up and the crowd only seemed to become more and more clear to her.

 It begun.

“You had plenty money 1922, you let other women make a fool of you...”

 She stepped past those curtains, her steps in sync with the low drawl of the live band now behind her. Her voice projected now like a siren's song, puckering those petite lips as her body swayed near the microphone. Barely able to make much of the crowd before her, what with the lights shining directly to the stage.

Lay on that allure, darling. You wanted that strength in your art to shine. You were everything.

A good start it seemed to be when the first song finished, the crowd seemed pretty pleased, brown eyes scanning them and red lips curling into a sweet smile. The response gave her all the more confidence. She'd only lay it on more and more. Each song going from alluring, to something more soft.

Thump, thump, de dump. A fever in the midst.

“Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care. When you put your arms around me I got a fever that's so hard to bear-”

 The same rhythmic sway she kept from the previous song followed suit, swaying those shoulders as well as her hips. Her motions were not exaggerated, where her eyes and lips led more dominantly. They were the lust, the beautiful illusion as she sung out. With each phrase held enough attitude and drama that her hands made all the more clear. Her arms flung, touched, and slid about to weave the tales she had for her audience.

 “What a lovely way to burn...”

 The crowd went WILD. Her genuine sweet smile returned, those brown eyes warm, smiling back to the band before continuing.

Her heart fluttered so happily in this moment. She didn't want it to end, and it had only been two song so far.

Allure turned to pep, smiles all about she could see with the upbeat tunes as they chimed out from the instrumental chorus.

 “I've got you...under my skin...”

 At this point she may as well look like she did this for all her life. The way she held herself once she got into the music, letting those dulcet tones sing out she welcomed everyone with her tune. They all seemed to have a good air about them, whether still in their own conversations or finding their attention stuck to the songstress of the stage.

 “I'll be seeing you...”

 Her rhythm went from pep to a slower motion. The expression about her face held the heart of someone yearning. Reminiscing times that either passed or had yet to begin. Her gaze far off, though on occasion  flitting over the crowd and to what few face she could actually see. Her thoughts were elsewhere at this point and hardly on the moment at hand.

 She found herself thinking of him.

 Her heart fluttered all the more.

 It was why her singing sounded all the more heartfelt. She was thinking back to him. She was thinking how her heart and suddenly found itself trapped in the infatuation and adoration of a man she may not have considered at first. A man whom she found so many good traits...morals...just everything. He was loose, wild, but he was grounded. He'd lived through plenty yet still held the youth that had been there for ages, now in a rugged form. He was warm with everyone he'd come across, he'd spoken to. It was everything a person should be...and everything she had wanted in a man.

 Her rhythm returned, body motions just if only slightly as she tapped her foot.

 “All of me, why not take all of me..”

 Though she was returning to some form of reality, she had lost herself in the music. Lost herself in the feelings she'd felt bubbled up from the thoughts that haunted her for weeks, months even. She held so desperately to her body with each word she sang. A song of leaving, yet she held something differently in that song.

Once finished, the crowd gave uproarious applause, the woman smiling so large and giving them a bow. Her arms outstretched before her, blowing kisses to them and not only that, but directing such applause to the lovely band who played with her. She wasn't about to take all the limelight.

 “Thank you all so much! Tonight has been an absolute blessing and you all are amazing for being here! I have one more surprise before we finish up tonight, and I hope ya'll will like it.” She chuckled, a bit of the crowd hootin' and hollering in response. She had to compose herself before continuing on.

“Pardon the cheesy nature of what I'm about to say, but...this song was written for a special someone who may or may not hear it ever. But hey, if they do—I hope they enjoy it. I loved writing it and...well..enough chatter, let's get to it yeah?” The crowd responded with a resounding 'yeah!' which left her to laugh all the more and give a hearty nod.

A brief chat with the band double checking which song, she looked forward again waiting for the start. It was a nice one to wrap up with, and gave her time to wind down for the night as she awaited her cue. This gave her time to really look out to the crowd, smiling and waving to a few people as she swayed to the gentle rhythm of her song.

 Her eyes ended up on one particular person in that crowd.

 The woman's heart seemed to skip a beat and her cheeks grew warm. For a mere second she'd almost forgotten where she was at this point in time until blinking a bit and hearing one of the musical cues for her to start soon.

 “Out of the blue...just out of the blue..”

 Her voice was so terribly soft and smooth, words spilling like honey as she begun her song. Her eyes could not pull away from him, the very man with whom she had written this song about and for. The very man who haunted her thoughts day in and day out, and left her heart all a flutter without prior warning.

  M.R.

 Seated just a few feet away from the stage, he found himself comfortable looking right up at her as she performed her song. Had he been here all this time? Was he wandered about up until now? Funnily enough she could have sworn she had seen someone out of her blinded periphery, but figured it was just wandering patrons of the club and nothing more. Boy was she wrong.

Now she couldn't stop looking at him. He was just...right...THERE. This wasn't a dream, or at least she hoped to god it wasn't. But now...what would come of this? She was thankful for her concentration, not once breaking from her song or shuddering out of frantic desperation because of how crazy her mind was being, or how much her heart was beating so rapidly.

It was for him after all, and even in her movements she presented herself as though he were the only patron in the entire club. That this was all for him. But what would come after all of this was said and done?

She didn't know. All she knew was that her song was coming close to the end, and all she wanted was to saunter out there to him right to the last word. Milk it for what it's worth. Make some sort of impact on a man who was both captivating and confusing to her all at the same time. Confusing only for various reasons, as there was many unknown factors to something like this...

 Wait, where were you going?

 As if on auto pilot, she found her body was moving to the stairs right of her, having somehow whipped that mic off and taking it with her. Her mind was screaming—was she seriously playing up going into the crowd and right towards him?! Was she seriously doing this right now?!? The crowd certainly was eating it up, and now she was literally only a foot away from him. His eyes had not once broken from her form since then, now obviously having her attention.

 Damn, he was...really, really handsome up close...

 There she was, without abandon, serenading the man with whom she'd written up that very climatic song for. Playing up all those charms of a jazz and blues singer, filled to the brim with love and adoration. Her form hovering over him slightly, a hand reaching out to gently caress his jaw in those last few words.

 “You don't know me...but I want to know you...”

 They were there for a few minutes after the music finally came to a close, brought back to reality by the roaring applause of the crowd around them. Her hand slowly finding it's place lightly about his chest, and his hand apparently having rested softly at her side. Sweet jesus. This may as well be a dream.

A courteous, warm smile crossed her lips as she slipped away from M.R., moving back to the stage to properly give her final bows before going backstage. She was only going to be at the club for a bit longer before making way back to her hotel for some much needed rest. She enjoyed this evening more than she ever would have thought and would take this with her for a long, long time.

But now here she was, backstage, finding her body absolutely shaking. She took breath after deep breath to calm the very jitters and goosebumps that lay upon her body. She was giddy, she ecstatic, and in sheer surprise that he was even HERE when she performed. She was not in the least expecting it, only figuring the show and nothing more. She would have been satisfied even then. But now...

 Dear god would she even have the courage to go and mingle as she originally planned??

 It was either that or staying in this now stuffy dressing room. Geez, was it hot in here or just her?

 ….or M.R.. Either answer fit.

 Taking a deep breath, she sipped a bit of water and shook herself as best she could before stepping out. Greeting both staff and patrons as she made way to the bar, she was glad for the brief distraction. Granted her mind was still very much a buzz about the whole situation, she took a seat about the bar and thanked the bartender with whom surprised her with a drink.

A White Russian. Always a liqueur gal, even though she'd partake in whatever drink she could if it didn't leave her sour. It was definitely needed at this point, especially considering just moments later she'd find herself next to a leather jacket clad patron.

 Jesus fucking christ.

 He couldn't help but grin a bit upon seeing her reaction, reaching out to gently pat her arm and steady her from spilling her drink. She did however laugh though setting the glass down near her. When did he sneak up on her just now?

“Didn't mean to frighten you, darlin. Was coming up for another drink and saw you were here—wanted to give a proper thank you to the lovely performance you put on tonight.” The woman’s eyes flit down to her lap, a soft smile on red lips as she looked back up at him giving an attempted bow in her seat.

“Absolutely spectacular.” Gosh, all the more praise from him? What in the world was going on that could leave her so lucky? She was practically beaming, hell, she may as well be as red as a tomato at this point.

“Well you are very welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Seems everyone was up in arms in the best way possible. It's a definite confidence booster considering this was my first live show.” Taking a sip she watched him, brows raising was enough to see the surprise in his face as his shades usually hid his eyes.

“Your first? No kidding...damn girl, you may as well have been a professional with the way you handled yourself up there!” Goddamnit M.R., she's going to be hiding her face this entire time if you spill all those compliments about her.

 Of course...who wouldn't want compliments coming from someone like him?

 She gave him a gentle nudge to his arm and laughed. “Staahhhpp, you're gonna kill me with kindness! But yeah, I mean- I can't say I don't have some experience, but nothing like that. At least, not live professionally on a stage. More like, back at home in those countless days and nights where I was a living, breathing musical.” That stirred only more laughter from her, in turn leaving a wide smile on his face.

“Well hun, it was amazing. I'm glad I was able to catch it when I did. Where you from anyway?”

She set her glass down after another drink, deciding to turn more towards the man so as not to put a kink in her neck. “Just up north; Washington State born and raised. Been there forever and probably still will. I wanted a different setting though for this sort of thing. Was kinda missing California, and they do have some really nice venues.”

M.R. gave a few nods, having been nursing his newly acquired jack and coke relaxing against the bar. “Yeah? Right on, right on...I agree there's plenty here to really play off of. Though Washington is pretty nice to, having been up to Seattle a few times myself.”

Probably plenty, she thought. Of course she was amused that she didn't spill about conventions, about everything he was...but having this simple conversation honestly felt so much more natural, whether he got the hint that she knew who he was or not. Probably did but...hell.

“Yeah, yeah. Ahh man though, I have to tell you. I … I could not be happier with how tonight had gone, ya know? I'm a big lover of music and I wanted to put my best foot forward and give it all I had. I only ever really performed a few times but find it exhilarating.” The two seemed so in tune to each other right at this moment, no major boundaries or expectations of the other, leaving various associations behind. Leaving differential titles in the dust where commonality shined through.

 They just, gelled.

 It had been a few minutes into the conversation, shooting the shit and whatever else came to the surface before M.R. found himself asking more questions.

“So you'd sing just about anything and everything huh? By the sounds of it you may as well be a library of information about musicals and what not.” He gave her a playful pat about her arm, to which she returned. Her mood was that of an eased and relaxed one, leaving no room for overbearing modesty and simply...friendliness.

They'd already introduced each to the other, but the conversations never stopped there.

“Boy I would don the outfits of both Frankenfurter as well as Mary Poppins if I had the chance. Especially Mary, and I'm not even joking because of my name.” M.R. couldn't help but perk at that, quirking a brow.

“Mary Poppins, hands down, has to be one of my favorites of all time. That is awesome. But are you handy with an umbrella?” She couldn't help but giggle into her glass, almost sputtering it on herself.

“I found my way around one or two, and sometimes...it's a jolly holiday with me too.” She pursed her lips, to only rise a good laugh from the man next to her. “Haaaaa...oh you are smooth girl.”

“Smoother than a baby's bottom, I assure you.” The two of them couldn't stop laughing. The merriment was very much needed.

“So now that has me wondering, not the Mary Poppins part obviously—I remember you saying something about the last song you sang tonight. One you actually wrote, yeah?” The woman found herself still for a moment, the warmth of laughter being hit with a twinge of reality. She cleared her throat and gave a nod, her attention all the more on M.R. now.

“You mentioned that song was written for a special someone. Didn't think it cheesy at all, though I'm curious as to who it was written for.” He took a sip of his drink, smiling over at her promptly. “Could see a lot of emotion in that song in particular. If you don't mind me asking.”

 No....not at all.

 Dare she even speak the truth on the matter? Risking herself of any embarrassment to come hurdling back and smack her in the face?

 Deep breath.

 Her body language went from an openness to that of shyness, M.R. watching her intently. He hadn't meant to pry, though being the lucky person for a lovely performer to set their eyes on, he couldn't help in admitting it attracted him a bit, even out of sheer curiosity.

“Okay...promise me this won't sound dumb but-”

“I promise, I promise. Nah...you're fine. Go on.”

Her hearing almost felt numb as the various thoughts pounded through her head. Her attention flitting briefly to how their hands lay so close to each other. How their bodies nearly mirrored one another's. She gulped, giving a brief smile before finally looking up at him, resting her head on her hand.

“If I'm to be, 100% completely honest—I actually wrote that song...hah, I actually wrote it for you.” She was ready to shirk away, her body briefly sinking into itself but instead burying her face into her hand. Goddamnit stop smiling so much! The embarrassment was real.

M.R.'s entire body seemed to nearly mirror her own, a small breathed out laugh before an almost giddy cacophony following thereafter. She felt his hands reach out, rubbing at her arms, the two of them sinking into a slight swaying motion.

“Awww...you wrote that for me? Lil ol' me huh? Goddamn, that is the cutest damn thing I'd ever heard. That's really sweet of you, hun.” Stop, stop this right now. You're being to cute, and you're also pulling me into a hug. STOP IT.

All she could do being embraced as awkwardly as she was was only to give a strange screeching whine, which resulted in ridiculous laughter to follow. She batted at him nearly falling out of her chair, once out of that hug she hid behind her hands and giggled.

“Stop it! Now I'm embarrassed! As if it wasn't obvious enough getting to talk to you just-“ The noises she made sounded silly but it hardly bothered him at all. If anything learning this new information only left the man to give a playful shake at her knees. “Awwww- gosh you’re cute!”

 Once all the laughter had finally died down, his face became softer, and hers…warmer.

 “I will be honest with you that is actually very, very sweet of you. I feel honored anyone would wanna write a song about me like that, so thank you. Really.” To which he gave a gentle squeeze to her hand and smiled at her.

So genuine…her heart practically fluttered in that moment, the touch leaving a spark to run all throughout her body. Shaking herself from her daze, she smiled and nodded in return.”Of course. I mean…who wouldn’t want to? You’re funny, you’ve a light-hearted fun nature that absolutely livens up a room, you’re snarky and …almost wild in your way. Ah..not to rub the ego.” She could go on and on…

 “Oh, please, do rub my ego. It’s quite lonely and cold.”

 “ M.R.-“

 He gave a boisterous laugh kicking his feet and reassuring her that he was joking. Damnit all.

 Hours had past, the club had begun to disperse for the night leaving only a few patrons left, along with the woman and M.R. She gave a long stretch in her chair before sliding out of it.

“Oh man…I really, really needed tonight. Ah man I’d almost forgotten, I was gonna get something to eat once I was done here…” Seems time flew too fast since she’d gotten caught up in conversation with her. M.R. seemed to notice about ready to head out himself. He hadn’t meant to keep her, though admittedly he enjoyed the long conversations he had with her as well…

“I’d taken up quite a bit of your time, huh? I’m sorry about that. Why don’t I take you somewhere to get a bite and drive you back to wherever you’re staying. That sound alright?” Well..ah..she didn’t want to impose, she hadn’t expected to talk this long with him. Her stomach protested before she could however.

 Universe, what were you doing?

 “That’s okay. I didn’t mind it at all. Lemme get changed, grab my stuff and I’ll meet you outside yeah?” M.R. gave a nod, a gentle rub to her back before making his way out. Besides, they had to get that alcohol out of their systems anyway.

Back at the dressing room she’d finally released herself from the confines of that dress, placing it away in her bag and putting on a clean shirt, comfortable flowing pants and her tennis shoes. She wiped up a bit of her makeup but left enough it was still presentable, her hair now in waves about her shoulders.

The small woman made her way out to the front, eyeing left and right until she saw that familiar blue polestar, M.R. idling out on the hood of the car. She waved him down, trotting over to the vehicle before joining him inside and making their way out to find some grub. She didn’t care what it was, as long as it was good, filling, and perhaps left her sleepy. She deserved a damn good meal for doing such a good job.

The rest of this had been the biggest bonus to it, idly chatting with him in deciding where to go, and letting the night breeze calm each other. The radio was low, though in her mind she couldn’t help but run through the playlist, and then …certain songs popped in her mind. Humming from one that he seemed to pick up on. He chuckled to himself and smiled because of it.

“When Mary 'olds your 'and

You feel so grand

Your 'eart starts beatin'

Like a big brass band”

Some time after and bellies full of further enjoyable moments (and food obviously), the two of them were making their way to her hotel. M.R. had been nothing but a gentleman, and someone who made her feel so welcome. In all honestly, it was as if she’d known this man for years and years, poking fun or simply relaxing and talking about whatever came to mind. He was just so dang sweet and fun to hang around…

She was terribly smitten, more so than before.

She didn’t want it to end. The further they got up to that room, the more she wanted it to go on. Figured they should get that far at least in case a bout of exhaustion hit her. Last she needed was to pass out somewhere in the hotel and wake up in confusion.

There they were at her door, chuckling about this or that, M.R. having taken her bag. She smiled up at him, digging for her key.

“Alright, seems we’ve arrived. It has been an absolute pleasure, darlin. You gonna be alright?” M.R. asked, still holding the bag until she was ready to head inside. Her hand hesitated on the door.

Yet again she was compromised at the very thought of different choices. Of meekness or boldness and which road to take. To have him watching her as he did had not helped her in the least where elsewhere he could be distracted momentarily. She seemed troubled by something, lost in thought.

“Yeah I’ll be fine. Thank you. Ah…” She furrowed her brow for a moment before finally turning to him. “There’s one more thing, actually.”

M.R. shifted his weight, speculating in his mind what that one thing could be. “And that is?”

“Well, tonight had gone spectacularly and I’d been shown a rather amazing time by an equally amazing gentleman. Only seems fair I at least return the favor.” Wait..that didn’t come out right. Furrowed brow, face planting straight into her hand with a groan and a rather quirked brow and crooked grin from M.R. She smacked his chest.

“Shut up. That’s not what I meant. What I mean to say is, for all of this…may I at least return the favor with a kiss?”

M.R. shifted his weight once more, seeming to really ‘think’ on such a request. He set her bag down and adjusted himself a bit, coming closer to the smaller woman. “Well…does seem only fair, all things considered. Though you’d given me quite a bit as well sharing that passionate side of yourself.”

 Her heart nearly skipped a beat. She shook her head.

 Shit. Wait. He wasn’t joking with her was he? She hadn’t planned on this. Boldness backfired for a moment before she looked back up at him.

 This is just one night. Just let it happen.

 Reaching up she did her best not to laugh too much with the look he was giving her (and only harder since those glasses did not shade the beautiful blues she loved so much), she pulled him closer to her just inches away from his face. Her heart racing miles per minute finally breaking the distance and placing her lips on his own.

 Never in her life…

The thing was, it was supposed to be a simple token, a chaste kiss and that was it. A nice thank you that was mildly flirtatious if at all- that was it. But she couldn’t seem to pull away from him. The faint tastes residing on those lips, the gentle tickle of his slight scruff against her skin…

Even when she begun to pull away, brown eyes fluttering open she still resided just millimeters away from his face. He seemed to be looking at her the same, his hands resting at her sides now. Her head was too fuzzy to question anything, she simply…let it be. The two hovered close before those lips met once more, prolonging into a series of kisses instead of just one.

He didn’t seem to be stopping her either. If anything went too far she wouldn’t stop him had he pulled back. But he hadn’t…

She found herself up against the door, caught in a slow entanglement of kisses with M.R. holding to his jacket or his shirt. His hands rested at her lower back, thumbs gently rubbing about her spine. She finally pulled back after some time, eyes closed until she had the courage to open them.

He seemed to be just as calm as she was, if not more by how his eyelids drooped.

“…do you…do you want to come inside? At the very least rest up a bit..ah..” What was she doing…

The poor man looked tired, she didn’t want to imagine him trying to get home at this point…yet she didn’t think she’d be asking-

He literally sauntered past her through the door. Right into her room. She was baffled, slowly grabbing up her bag and moving inside as well.

Last thing she knew she was huddled in man’s arms, tousled about that bed with dim lights. Her heart may as well be soaring All that transpired that night

She wouldn’t exchange it for anything in the world.

[stonedlennon]

You're writing is excellent! I love the romantic, expressive style. I was thinking about starting to write fan fiction myself, but I've never really done so (minus one crack fic for a friend and a treasure chest full of hand-written Indiana Jones stories from the fifth grade) and I'm shy about sharing my writing. Any advice?

hello, lovely! so i sent you a private message a while ago asking if it was okay to publish this question, because i think it’s a really thought provoking one, but i’ve not heard back so i’m just going to go ahead and have a chat! if at any point you’d prefer that we talk in private, just let me know!

so i’ll tackle this in bullet point form, just because it’s easier to get my thoughts in order, so here goes!

just do it. which may seem ridiculous, especially if you are shy about your writing or you’re unsure about your interpretation, or it feels like there are so many authors around, and how could what i have to write possibly contribute in any way? the answer is really very simple. just go for it. the thing is with writing is - like most if not all creative arts - the act itself is private, but the end product is public. unless you describe or detail every moment of the writing process, people will only ever know how you struggled over a single line or how you thought about this great metaphor or how you tried to incorporate this tiny detail……. and this is both a blessing and a curse. in terms of fan fiction, it can be a great tactic to focus on the end product as contributing to a larger body of work (i.e. the fandom’s fan fiction), and the writing of it as a process that is helping you personally develop as an author and a creative being. 

write what you want to read. i can really never, ever say this enough. if that means that you write another paris fic, or another first meeting fic - whatever, just go for it! you want to read it? do it! but if you have a wild AU idea, or an unusual oneshot in mind….. i highly recommend you just take it and run and see where it takes you. there is nothing more wonderful than being able to, 1. write something you are genuinely passionate about; and 2. to see other people react with equal passion. i have been in previous fandoms where people have come up with the most left field ideas that have rapidly become fandom classics - simply because they were the first people to think of the idea, and not only that, but to actually sit down and write it! when you are engaged with what you’re producing, it makes sitting down and writing a joy and not a task. which brings me to…

taking time to write. this happens differently for everyone. i can detail my own process, if that helps. i have made writing part of my every day routine. by this i mean that i am so used to sitting down and writing of an evening (my peak creative period, especially for the ~aesthetic of my work) that it feels weird when i’m not doing it. if for whatever reason (real life, uni shit, social obligations) i don’t have time/energy to write, i’ll substitute it by coming up with a new scene idea and jotting it down, or thinking about a tricky plot/character point as i go about my daily life. this way i remain engaged with what i’m writing, i’m using my free/busy time as effectively as possible, and when i sit down to write, because i’ve got 647643 ideas in mind, it’s just a matter of simply getting it down on the word doc! this will be different for you, and that’s good. the important thing is that you find what works, you stick to it, and you just push it as far as it can go.

demystify the process. writing is not some miraculous, sacred, all-consuming THING that must be bowed down to OR ELSE!!! it’s just writing. it’s just fic. that’s it. the sooner you get rid of the following issues, the easier the process will be. these are: 

it does not have to be perfect. in fact, it won’t ever be perfect! probably 50-60% of you write will be utter rubbish. some will be halfway decent (this will become the backbone of the final draft) - and the rest is golden, do not touch, this line is gorgeous. just accept that some things will be good, some bad, and some in between - and this is all okay! this is all brilliant! embrace it! what fun would there be if everything just came out without any revision?

it is a learning process. you are learning. unless you are a published author, or you are doing a writing degree or course, you’re learning. this is excellent. because what comes to you naturally will be honest and raw. let yourself enjoy the journey, the uncovering of the mystery, of what you’re capable of. just enjoy it. writing is a calming, expressive, fun, wonderful thing to do. when you start to publish fic rapidly, you will learn more quickly. you’ll figure out what works and you’ll figure out what bad habits you form. (* side note: i have figured out a bad habit of mine that i can tell you about if you like - it’s something i’m VERY AWARE OF but i’m pretty sure that once i mention it, you won’t know what i’m talking about). but you’ll never get to this stage unless you are writing in the first place!

nothing or no one starts out as well known/famous/whatever. i’m not saying that receiving accolades for your work isn’t wonderful - god knows i’m a slave for validation! but part of figuring out why you want to write is also about figuring out who and why you’re writing for. is it for an end goal? a friend? yourself? do you want to practice writing? want to be the next big fandom hit? want some downtime as you work on wip novel? figure it out and go from there. nothing is wrong or better than the other - it’s all about what you want to get out of the process. once you make fan fic a productive, enjoyable thing, it will be easier, and once it’s easy, it will simply come from you with little to no coaxing. that timeline will vary from person to person, and this is good and natural. 

WRITING IS NOT ABOUT BEING PERFECT. this!!! really bears repeating!!!!!! if it was perfect, why bother? if it’s easy, what’s the point? once you put work out there and get people reading and talking about your writing, you are contributing to your own process. you are learning what you can improve on, what works, what is your signature style. the public/personal interaction happens in conjunction with one another. so you will learn new things even as your readers pick up on stuff, and vice versa: someone may tell you things you hadn’t realized before, which leads you to reflect on just how you got to that point… it’s all organic. it’s slow. it just happens and you should enjoy it.

have fun! writing is about having fun. it’s about writing something you’re passionate about. it’s about sharing what you feel with other people. it’s a wonderful process that isn’t scary, impossible, or hard. it only feels difficult because of fandom/life’s obsession with being perfect. but when you spend too much time worrying about 1. what other people think, or 2. if it’s “up to standard”, you’re cutting your nose off to spite your face. you’re worrying instead of doing. publishing is a very daunting process. i know - it is. you’ll spend time refreshing the chapter, seeing the hit counter stay the same. you’ll have a conniption every time someone comments. or leaves kudos. even when it’s like “great work” you’re like A REAL LIFE PERSON THINKS THIS IS GREAT WORK. i’m not going to lie about any of this: i’m notoriously neurotic about the publishing/reception of my work. but i also write because i genuinely, deep down just love it. writing makes me so happy. it takes my mind off things. it is my way of expressing myself. i find myself writing almost all the time - sentences get stuck in my mind or i’ll think of a plot idea or a reason for a character doing xyz - that i have to rush to make a note of it. all the time i’m learning. and when people pick up on things or make a comment about something i thought only i’d get… that’s pretty damn special. that makes it worth it.

so really what i’m saying is that you’ll only know unless you try. i would so encourage and support you to go ahead and write a piece of work and publish it! you may very well surprise yourself. and that’s really quite a fantastic feeling to have.

[samuelpboswell]

Tip of the Iceberg: A Story of Trust in Marketing as Told by Statistics

“Step up on the railing. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed.” Jack is holding Rose around her waist, cautiously lifting her up to the Titanic’s bow. “Do you trust me?” He was a stranger up until days earlier, but still, her response is almost instantaneous. “I trust you.” Moments later, Rose opens her eyes and she’s flying, arms outstretched as the mighty liner propels her forward. She and Jack hold hands; they kiss. Celine Dion’s music wafts in the background. Teenage boys in the theater start gagging, while romantic types swoon. There’s a good chance you lived through this very experience. James Cameron’s 1997 cinematic landmark Titanic was an unprecedented hit, holding the title as highest-grossing film of all time for 14 years. The scene described above is perhaps its most famous — the linchpin in a love story sparked by deep, genuine trust that materialized almost out nowhere. When I say, “Everyone and their mom saw this movie,” I mean it a bit too literally because I actually saw it with my mom, as a 12-year-old, and it was… awkward. With that embarrassing story out of the way (I swear there’s a reason I mentioned it, and we’ll get back to it later), let’s move on to one you might actually care about: The state of trust in marketing. Strap on your lifejacket and prepare for a journey through these choppy waters...

By the Numbers: The State of Trust in Marketing

At the outset of 2016, trust toward all four institutions measured by Edelman Trust Barometer reached their highest levels since the Great Recession, with businesses seeing the largest spike.

(Source)

Things looked good. Confidence was high. We were all cruising merrily along. Then, we hit the iceberg that was 2016. You might remember that year not-so-fondly, for any number of reasons. The following year, Edelman declared that “trust is in crisis around the world,” citing an unprecedented drop across all four institutions. The 2018 research revealed “a world of seemingly stagnant distrust,” with no rebound to be seen. Things weren’t merely stagnating everywhere, though... In 2018, only 48% of people in the United States said they trust businesses, down from 58% in 2017. (Edelman)

(Source)

This was a point where people were frantically piling into lifeboats. I think I just saw Billy Zane kick a little kid off one. What a jerk. Anyway, this is a problem. [Side note: If you’re noticing a lot of Edelman citations thus far, it’s because their Trust Barometer is such a valuable resource for the topic, and offers a consistent baseline to show the progression of trust. But there are plenty of other sources to come.] 63% of people agree with this statement: “A good reputation may get me to try a product—but unless I come to trust the company behind the product I will soon stop buying it, regardless of its reputation.” (Edelman) Oh, and: 68% of adults in the U.S. say that trust in a brand has "a great deal" or "a lot" of influence on their decision when making a big purchase. (SurveyMonkey) I’m not exactly sure what the difference is between “a great deal” and “a lot,” but alas... We've reached an era where people at large are digitally adept and savvy. They know they have a world of options at their literal fingertips, and can thusly hold brands to the highest of standards. Trust strikes a deep emotional chord. “The digital era has fundamentally shifted assumptions for how individuals will do business and engage with companies," Kevin Cochrane, Chief Marketing Officer at SAP, wrote at Harvard Business Review last year. "Once trust has been lost, it’s nearly impossible for brands to rebuild sustainable, honest relationships with their customers." In other words: once the ship has sunk, it ain't coming back up. [bctt tweet="Once #trust has been lost, it’s nearly impossible for brands to rebuild sustainable, honest relationships with their customers. - @kevinc2003 #ContentMarketing" username="toprank"] Some of the damage has already been done. A few months ago, Accenture released its Bottom Line on Trust report, which uses an "Accenture Strategy Competitive Agility Index” to “quantify the impact of trust on a company’s bottom line." Scoring more than 7,000 companies, this system found that... 54% have experienced a material drop in trust at some point during the past two and a half years, "conservatively" losing out on $104 billion in revenue. (Bottom Line on Trust) "In today’s world, it is no longer a question of if a company will experience a trust incident, but when," the report asserted. This is getting grim, I know. But we're not underwater yet. There is time yet to turn this troubling tide, and as the primary conduits between customers and brands, marketers can and must be at the forefront. Marketing executives at B2B and B2C service firms rank “trusting relationships” ahead of “low price” and “superior innovation” among their customers' priorities. (The CMO Survey)

(Source)

As we build relationships, we build trust. Edelman's 2018 report found that company content is twice as trusted after a customer-brand relationship has been formed. Marketing has a lot of functions (even a great deal of functions?) but this one will be most vital in the months ahead. All of our efforts are doomed without this crucial piece of the puzzle. So, how do we stay on course and prevent relationships from sinking? Well... 65% of business buyers say they’re likely to switch brands if vendors don’t make an effort to personalize communications to their company. 52% of consumers say the same. (State of the Connected Customer) This seems to be the the sweet spot. Personalization is the surest way to build a rapport in the digital space. When we fail to connect, it sets off immediate alarms. Personalization comes in many forms. It can be as sophisticated as using adaptive AI, or as simple as narrowing the scope and voice of your content to resonate with very specific audiences. Whatever the approach, customers clearly want it. And the potential revenue benefits are undeniable. [bctt tweet="#Personalization is the surest way to build a rapport in the digital space. When we fail to connect, it sets off immediate alarms. @NickNelsonMN #ContentMarketing" username="toprank"] Personalization can deliver 5-8 times the ROI on marketing spend, and can lift sales by 10% or more. (McKinsey & Company) Now that sounds like smooth sailing. Research makes clear that marketers are wise to chart a course for more personalized waters. Granted, that’ll mean different things to different organizations and strategies, but it simply must be a central focus if we are to stay afloat. Personalized marketing is the byproduct of turning customer data into useful insights. It’s the industry’s prime directive as we speak. I’m excited to see what we can accomplish on this front in 2019 and beyond. I will leave you with one final word (statistic) of caution, however. 79% of consumers will leave a brand if their personal data is used without their knowledge. (SAP Hybris Consumer Insights Report) Let’s steer clear of that. Transparency is now more essential than ever in marketing. Using data is not wrong — in fact, it’s requisite for personalization — but the last thing you want to come off as is sneaky or underhanded about it (just ask Facebook). Something as simple as a friendly, casual pop-up message on your website informing visitors that you use cookies (and why) can go a long way. By following the principles of responsible personalization, we as marketers can right the ship and play our part in building sturdy relationships that ensure customers...

via GIPHY

Moral of the Story: Steer Toward Trustful Shores

A bit of good news: in the 2019 Edelman Trust Barometer results, released a couple of weeks ago, trust toward business increased in 21 of 26 markets, including the U.S. where 54% of respondents voiced confidence — one of the biggest jumps. Now, we need to stay that course. At a high level, personalization should be the true-north on every marketer's strategic compass. But on a day-to-day tactical basis, I believe there are three focal areas for continually building trust. As it happens, I've attempted to incorporate each into this blog post you're reading. Storytelling. My goal here was to take a set of statistics and craft them into a coherent narrative. For added effect, I juxtaposed it against another extremely recognizable story. Your mileage may vary on the wisdom and effectiveness of this particular approach. Authenticity. For better or worse, this is who I am. I’m the kind of guy who intertwines 20-year-old movies with blog posts about marketing. (More seriously, I have a genuine passion for the subject of trust in marketing, which is why I write about it so frequently here.) Transparency. Even — no, especially — when it’s information you’re not entirely jazzed to be sharing. I didn’t love telling you all about sitting uncomfortably next to my mom during the infamous “Draw me like one of your French girls” scene at age 12, but I did so with the hopes it’d signal an openness and candor in the writing to come. Recently I highlighted a company called Lemonade that runs a “Transparency Chronicles” series, in which they speak very frankly about their experiences as a growing business — including their failures and shortcomings. Customers are tired of hearing how great and perfect brands are. They want realness. Content marketing strategies founded on personalization, with storytelling, authenticity, and transparency as cornerstones, will be primed to stand the test of time in an age of digital disorientation. Maybe, one day, we can finally restore the fundamental trust that’s been shattered ever since some genius marketing mind came up with the “Unsinkable Ship” slogan. Did you like this post? Want to read more from me on trust and transparency in marketing? Check out these past articles:

Two Key Marketing Opportunities Amid Stories of Fake Traffic and Fraudulent Metrics

In a World of Diminishing Trust, Data-Driven Marketers Can Turn the Tide

Be Like Honest Abe: How Content Marketers Can Build Trust Through Storytelling

How Brands Can Avoid the Dreaded Fauxthenticity Pitfall

The post Tip of the Iceberg: A Story of Trust in Marketing as Told by Statistics appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

from The SEO Advantages https://www.toprankblog.com/2019/02/trust-marketing-statistics/

[befoundonlinemarketing]

Tip of the Iceberg: A Story of Trust in Marketing as Told by Statistics

“Step up on the railing. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed.” Jack is holding Rose around her waist, cautiously lifting her up to the Titanic’s bow. “Do you trust me?” He was a stranger up until days earlier, but still, her response is almost instantaneous. “I trust you.” Moments later, Rose opens her eyes and she’s flying, arms outstretched as the mighty liner propels her forward. She and Jack hold hands; they kiss. Celine Dion’s music wafts in the background. Teenage boys in the theater start gagging, while romantic types swoon. There’s a good chance you lived through this very experience. James Cameron’s 1997 cinematic landmark Titanic was an unprecedented hit, holding the title as highest-grossing film of all time for 14 years. The scene described above is perhaps its most famous — the linchpin in a love story sparked by deep, genuine trust that materialized almost out nowhere. When I say, “Everyone and their mom saw this movie,” I mean it a bit too literally because I actually saw it with my mom, as a 12-year-old, and it was… awkward. With that embarrassing story out of the way (I swear there’s a reason I mentioned it, and we’ll get back to it later), let’s move on to one you might actually care about: The state of trust in marketing. Strap on your lifejacket and prepare for a journey through these choppy waters...

By the Numbers: The State of Trust in Marketing

At the outset of 2016, trust toward all four institutions measured by Edelman Trust Barometer reached their highest levels since the Great Recession, with businesses seeing the largest spike.

(Source)

Things looked good. Confidence was high. We were all cruising merrily along. Then, we hit the iceberg that was 2016. You might remember that year not-so-fondly, for any number of reasons. The following year, Edelman declared that “trust is in crisis around the world,” citing an unprecedented drop across all four institutions. The 2018 research revealed “a world of seemingly stagnant distrust,” with no rebound to be seen. Things weren’t merely stagnating everywhere, though... In 2018, only 48% of people in the United States said they trust businesses, down from 58% in 2017. (Edelman)

(Source)

This was a point where people were frantically piling into lifeboats. I think I just saw Billy Zane kick a little kid off one. What a jerk. Anyway, this is a problem. [Side note: If you’re noticing a lot of Edelman citations thus far, it’s because their Trust Barometer is such a valuable resource for the topic, and offers a consistent baseline to show the progression of trust. But there are plenty of other sources to come.] 63% of people agree with this statement: “A good reputation may get me to try a product—but unless I come to trust the company behind the product I will soon stop buying it, regardless of its reputation.” (Edelman) Oh, and: 68% of adults in the U.S. say that trust in a brand has "a great deal" or "a lot" of influence on their decision when making a big purchase. (SurveyMonkey) I’m not exactly sure what the difference is between “a great deal” and “a lot,” but alas... We've reached an era where people at large are digitally adept and savvy. They know they have a world of options at their literal fingertips, and can thusly hold brands to the highest of standards. Trust strikes a deep emotional chord. “The digital era has fundamentally shifted assumptions for how individuals will do business and engage with companies," Kevin Cochrane, Chief Marketing Officer at SAP, wrote at Harvard Business Review last year. "Once trust has been lost, it’s nearly impossible for brands to rebuild sustainable, honest relationships with their customers." In other words: once the ship has sunk, it ain't coming back up. [bctt tweet="Once #trust has been lost, it’s nearly impossible for brands to rebuild sustainable, honest relationships with their customers. - @kevinc2003 #ContentMarketing" username="toprank"] Some of the damage has already been done. A few months ago, Accenture released its Bottom Line on Trust report, which uses an "Accenture Strategy Competitive Agility Index” to “quantify the impact of trust on a company’s bottom line." Scoring more than 7,000 companies, this system found that... 54% have experienced a material drop in trust at some point during the past two and a half years, "conservatively" losing out on $104 billion in revenue. (Bottom Line on Trust) "In today’s world, it is no longer a question of if a company will experience a trust incident, but when," the report asserted. This is getting grim, I know. But we're not underwater yet. There is time yet to turn this troubling tide, and as the primary conduits between customers and brands, marketers can and must be at the forefront. Marketing executives at B2B and B2C service firms rank “trusting relationships” ahead of “low price” and “superior innovation” among their customers' priorities. (The CMO Survey)

(Source)

As we build relationships, we build trust. Edelman's 2018 report found that company content is twice as trusted after a customer-brand relationship has been formed. Marketing has a lot of functions (even a great deal of functions?) but this one will be most vital in the months ahead. All of our efforts are doomed without this crucial piece of the puzzle. So, how do we stay on course and prevent relationships from sinking? Well... 65% of business buyers say they’re likely to switch brands if vendors don’t make an effort to personalize communications to their company. 52% of consumers say the same. (State of the Connected Customer) This seems to be the the sweet spot. Personalization is the surest way to build a rapport in the digital space. When we fail to connect, it sets off immediate alarms. Personalization comes in many forms. It can be as sophisticated as using adaptive AI, or as simple as narrowing the scope and voice of your content to resonate with very specific audiences. Whatever the approach, customers clearly want it. And the potential revenue benefits are undeniable. [bctt tweet="#Personalization is the surest way to build a rapport in the digital space. When we fail to connect, it sets off immediate alarms. @NickNelsonMN #ContentMarketing" username="toprank"] Personalization can deliver 5-8 times the ROI on marketing spend, and can lift sales by 10% or more. (McKinsey & Company) Now that sounds like smooth sailing. Research makes clear that marketers are wise to chart a course for more personalized waters. Granted, that’ll mean different things to different organizations and strategies, but it simply must be a central focus if we are to stay afloat. Personalized marketing is the byproduct of turning customer data into useful insights. It’s the industry’s prime directive as we speak. I’m excited to see what we can accomplish on this front in 2019 and beyond. I will leave you with one final word (statistic) of caution, however. 79% of consumers will leave a brand if their personal data is used without their knowledge. (SAP Hybris Consumer Insights Report) Let’s steer clear of that. Transparency is now more essential than ever in marketing. Using data is not wrong — in fact, it’s requisite for personalization — but the last thing you want to come off as is sneaky or underhanded about it (just ask Facebook). Something as simple as a friendly, casual pop-up message on your website informing visitors that you use cookies (and why) can go a long way. By following the principles of responsible personalization, we as marketers can right the ship and play our part in building sturdy relationships that ensure customers...

via GIPHY

Moral of the Story: Steer Toward Trustful Shores

A bit of good news: in the 2019 Edelman Trust Barometer results, released a couple of weeks ago, trust toward business increased in 21 of 26 markets, including the U.S. where 54% of respondents voiced confidence — one of the biggest jumps. Now, we need to stay that course. At a high level, personalization should be the true-north on every marketer's strategic compass. But on a day-to-day tactical basis, I believe there are three focal areas for continually building trust. As it happens, I've attempted to incorporate each into this blog post you're reading. Storytelling. My goal here was to take a set of statistics and craft them into a coherent narrative. For added effect, I juxtaposed it against another extremely recognizable story. Your mileage may vary on the wisdom and effectiveness of this particular approach. Authenticity. For better or worse, this is who I am. I’m the kind of guy who intertwines 20-year-old movies with blog posts about marketing. (More seriously, I have a genuine passion for the subject of trust in marketing, which is why I write about it so frequently here.) Transparency. Even — no, especially — when it’s information you’re not entirely jazzed to be sharing. I didn’t love telling you all about sitting uncomfortably next to my mom during the infamous “Draw me like one of your French girls” scene at age 12, but I did so with the hopes it’d signal an openness and candor in the writing to come. Recently I highlighted a company called Lemonade that runs a “Transparency Chronicles” series, in which they speak very frankly about their experiences as a growing business — including their failures and shortcomings. Customers are tired of hearing how great and perfect brands are. They want realness. Content marketing strategies founded on personalization, with storytelling, authenticity, and transparency as cornerstones, will be primed to stand the test of time in an age of digital disorientation. Maybe, one day, we can finally restore the fundamental trust that’s been shattered ever since some genius marketing mind came up with the “Unsinkable Ship” slogan. Did you like this post? Want to read more from me on trust and transparency in marketing? Check out these past articles:

Two Key Marketing Opportunities Amid Stories of Fake Traffic and Fraudulent Metrics

In a World of Diminishing Trust, Data-Driven Marketers Can Turn the Tide

Be Like Honest Abe: How Content Marketers Can Build Trust Through Storytelling

How Brands Can Avoid the Dreaded Fauxthenticity Pitfall

The post Tip of the Iceberg: A Story of Trust in Marketing as Told by Statistics appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

Tip of the Iceberg: A Story of Trust in Marketing as Told by Statistics posted first on http://www.toprankblog.com/

[christopheruearle]

Tip of the Iceberg: A Story of Trust in Marketing as Told by Statistics

“Step up on the railing. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed.” Jack is holding Rose around her waist, cautiously lifting her up to the Titanic’s bow. “Do you trust me?” He was a stranger up until days earlier, but still, her response is almost instantaneous. “I trust you.” Moments later, Rose opens her eyes and she’s flying, arms outstretched as the mighty liner propels her forward. She and Jack hold hands; they kiss. Celine Dion’s music wafts in the background. Teenage boys in the theater start gagging, while romantic types swoon. There’s a good chance you lived through this very experience. James Cameron’s 1997 cinematic landmark Titanic was an unprecedented hit, holding the title as highest-grossing film of all time for 14 years. The scene described above is perhaps its most famous — the linchpin in a love story sparked by deep, genuine trust that materialized almost out nowhere. When I say, “Everyone and their mom saw this movie,” I mean it a bit too literally because I actually saw it with my mom, as a 12-year-old, and it was… awkward. With that embarrassing story out of the way (I swear there’s a reason I mentioned it, and we’ll get back to it later), let’s move on to one you might actually care about: The state of trust in marketing. Strap on your lifejacket and prepare for a journey through these choppy waters...

By the Numbers: The State of Trust in Marketing

At the outset of 2016, trust toward all four institutions measured by Edelman Trust Barometer reached their highest levels since the Great Recession, with businesses seeing the largest spike.

(Source)

Things looked good. Confidence was high. We were all cruising merrily along. Then, we hit the iceberg that was 2016. You might remember that year not-so-fondly, for any number of reasons. The following year, Edelman declared that “trust is in crisis around the world,” citing an unprecedented drop across all four institutions. The 2018 research revealed “a world of seemingly stagnant distrust,” with no rebound to be seen. Things weren’t merely stagnating everywhere, though... In 2018, only 48% of people in the United States said they trust businesses, down from 58% in 2017. (Edelman)

(Source)

This was a point where people were frantically piling into lifeboats. I think I just saw Billy Zane kick a little kid off one. What a jerk. Anyway, this is a problem. [Side note: If you’re noticing a lot of Edelman citations thus far, it’s because their Trust Barometer is such a valuable resource for the topic, and offers a consistent baseline to show the progression of trust. But there are plenty of other sources to come.] 63% of people agree with this statement: “A good reputation may get me to try a product—but unless I come to trust the company behind the product I will soon stop buying it, regardless of its reputation.” (Edelman) Oh, and: 68% of adults in the U.S. say that trust in a brand has "a great deal" or "a lot" of influence on their decision when making a big purchase. (SurveyMonkey) I’m not exactly sure what the difference is between “a great deal” and “a lot,” but alas... We've reached an era where people at large are digitally adept and savvy. They know they have a world of options at their literal fingertips, and can thusly hold brands to the highest of standards. Trust strikes a deep emotional chord. “The digital era has fundamentally shifted assumptions for how individuals will do business and engage with companies," Kevin Cochrane, Chief Marketing Officer at SAP, wrote at Harvard Business Review last year. "Once trust has been lost, it’s nearly impossible for brands to rebuild sustainable, honest relationships with their customers." In other words: once the ship has sunk, it ain't coming back up. [bctt tweet="Once #trust has been lost, it’s nearly impossible for brands to rebuild sustainable, honest relationships with their customers. - @kevinc2003 #ContentMarketing" username="toprank"] Some of the damage has already been done. A few months ago, Accenture released its Bottom Line on Trust report, which uses an "Accenture Strategy Competitive Agility Index” to “quantify the impact of trust on a company’s bottom line." Scoring more than 7,000 companies, this system found that... 54% have experienced a material drop in trust at some point during the past two and a half years, "conservatively" losing out on $104 billion in revenue. (Bottom Line on Trust) "In today’s world, it is no longer a question of if a company will experience a trust incident, but when," the report asserted. This is getting grim, I know. But we're not underwater yet. There is time yet to turn this troubling tide, and as the primary conduits between customers and brands, marketers can and must be at the forefront. Marketing executives at B2B and B2C service firms rank “trusting relationships” ahead of “low price” and “superior innovation” among their customers' priorities. (The CMO Survey)

(Source)

As we build relationships, we build trust. Edelman's 2018 report found that company content is twice as trusted after a customer-brand relationship has been formed. Marketing has a lot of functions (even a great deal of functions?) but this one will be most vital in the months ahead. All of our efforts are doomed without this crucial piece of the puzzle. So, how do we stay on course and prevent relationships from sinking? Well... 65% of business buyers say they’re likely to switch brands if vendors don’t make an effort to personalize communications to their company. 52% of consumers say the same. (State of the Connected Customer) This seems to be the the sweet spot. Personalization is the surest way to build a rapport in the digital space. When we fail to connect, it sets off immediate alarms. Personalization comes in many forms. It can be as sophisticated as using adaptive AI, or as simple as narrowing the scope and voice of your content to resonate with very specific audiences. Whatever the approach, customers clearly want it. And the potential revenue benefits are undeniable. [bctt tweet="#Personalization is the surest way to build a rapport in the digital space. When we fail to connect, it sets off immediate alarms. @NickNelsonMN #ContentMarketing" username="toprank"] Personalization can deliver 5-8 times the ROI on marketing spend, and can lift sales by 10% or more. (McKinsey & Company) Now that sounds like smooth sailing. Research makes clear that marketers are wise to chart a course for more personalized waters. Granted, that’ll mean different things to different organizations and strategies, but it simply must be a central focus if we are to stay afloat. Personalized marketing is the byproduct of turning customer data into useful insights. It’s the industry’s prime directive as we speak. I’m excited to see what we can accomplish on this front in 2019 and beyond. I will leave you with one final word (statistic) of caution, however. 79% of consumers will leave a brand if their personal data is used without their knowledge. (SAP Hybris Consumer Insights Report) Let’s steer clear of that. Transparency is now more essential than ever in marketing. Using data is not wrong — in fact, it’s requisite for personalization — but the last thing you want to come off as is sneaky or underhanded about it (just ask Facebook). Something as simple as a friendly, casual pop-up message on your website informing visitors that you use cookies (and why) can go a long way. By following the principles of responsible personalization, we as marketers can right the ship and play our part in building sturdy relationships that ensure customers...

via GIPHY

Moral of the Story: Steer Toward Trustful Shores

A bit of good news: in the 2019 Edelman Trust Barometer results, released a couple of weeks ago, trust toward business increased in 21 of 26 markets, including the U.S. where 54% of respondents voiced confidence — one of the biggest jumps. Now, we need to stay that course. At a high level, personalization should be the true-north on every marketer's strategic compass. But on a day-to-day tactical basis, I believe there are three focal areas for continually building trust. As it happens, I've attempted to incorporate each into this blog post you're reading. Storytelling. My goal here was to take a set of statistics and craft them into a coherent narrative. For added effect, I juxtaposed it against another extremely recognizable story. Your mileage may vary on the wisdom and effectiveness of this particular approach. Authenticity. For better or worse, this is who I am. I’m the kind of guy who intertwines 20-year-old movies with blog posts about marketing. (More seriously, I have a genuine passion for the subject of trust in marketing, which is why I write about it so frequently here.) Transparency. Even — no, especially — when it’s information you’re not entirely jazzed to be sharing. I didn’t love telling you all about sitting uncomfortably next to my mom during the infamous “Draw me like one of your French girls” scene at age 12, but I did so with the hopes it’d signal an openness and candor in the writing to come. Recently I highlighted a company called Lemonade that runs a “Transparency Chronicles” series, in which they speak very frankly about their experiences as a growing business — including their failures and shortcomings. Customers are tired of hearing how great and perfect brands are. They want realness. Content marketing strategies founded on personalization, with storytelling, authenticity, and transparency as cornerstones, will be primed to stand the test of time in an age of digital disorientation. Maybe, one day, we can finally restore the fundamental trust that’s been shattered ever since some genius marketing mind came up with the “Unsinkable Ship” slogan. Did you like this post? Want to read more from me on trust and transparency in marketing? Check out these past articles:

Two Key Marketing Opportunities Amid Stories of Fake Traffic and Fraudulent Metrics

In a World of Diminishing Trust, Data-Driven Marketers Can Turn the Tide

Be Like Honest Abe: How Content Marketers Can Build Trust Through Storytelling

How Brands Can Avoid the Dreaded Fauxthenticity Pitfall

The post Tip of the Iceberg: A Story of Trust in Marketing as Told by Statistics appeared first on Online Marketing Blog - TopRank®.

[mustlovemustypages]

2018 Letter

Dear potential writer,

*Sigh* 2018 has been a long year, has it not? Yuletide is proving to be a great distraction and I'm very excited to be participating again. Thank you for reading my letter and also thank you in advance for anything you decide to write for me! 

Below are my desired fandoms and pairings along with story ideas that I would love to see written. Please don't feel stifled by my prompts; I've also listed my general likes/dislikes at the very bottom of this letter if you decide to go a different route. 

The Defenders (TV):

Characters: Luke Cage and Jessica Jones

I will admit that my main motivation for watching The Defenders was to see more interactions between these two characters. While I loved all of the scenes between them, I wish they'd had a lot more shared screen time. 

Overall I just want these two kids to end up together. I've been a fan of their relationship before the Netflix shows came out and will continue to be a fan after they have ended.

Story ideas:

Luke and Jessica learning to trust each other again amongst the events of The Defenders, and Jessica sharing a bit more of her past with Kilgrave to help Luke understand what exactly she went through.

Seeing Luke and Jessica's on screen (or imagined off screen) interactions through the eyes of the other characters.

Jessica Jones is a walking poster child for PTSD and I would really like to see this explored more. Recovery isn’t necessary, but having Luke at least realize her suffering and talking/hugging it out would be lovely.

We may or may not be getting a season 2. Feel free to imagine your own post-season 1 with the team, especially focusing on the Jessica/Luke dynamic.

Speed (1994):

Characters: Annie Porter and Jack Traven

I'm a sucker for characters who fall in love during immensely stressful situations. Especially characters played by Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. I'm also a sucker for action movies that have not-quite-believable but really-thrilling-anyway plotlines. Like buses with bombs that go off if driving under 50 mph.

Story ideas:

Regardless of what Jack said at the end of the movie about most relationships formed during stressful circumstances not surviving, I have chosen to believe Annie and Jack would have beaten the odds once again. I'm sure their friends, co-workers, and family would have had their doubts but would have eventually seen that the two were perfect for each other.

I'd adore post-movie slice of life stories where they buy their first place together, meet each others' families for the first time, or even do something as mundane as going to get groceries. It would be so endearingly (and hilariously) normal in contrast to their first meeting.

Annie definitely thought Jack was insane when he flagged down the bus and jumped on. It would be interesting to read that scene from her point of view as well as other scenes throughout the movie as her opinion of him changes.

It would be impossible to go through what these two characters did without it having some sort of impact on their psyche. Whether it be Annie refusing to ride the bus again and Jack offering to drive her to work until/if she recovers, or Jack having flashbacks of the helplessness he felt on that train when he couldn't get Annie unchained.

The Darkest Minds (Book Series):

Character: Ruby Daly

X-Men was my jam when I was younger, and The Darkest Minds is basically X-Men set in a dystopian world with really loveable characters.

Ruby is a precious gem* that needs to be protected at all costs, even if it’s from herself. Liam is such a sweetheart. Book 2 when he gets his memories back had me literally crying. Chubs and Zhu are amazing, and I love the little family the four of them made together. Vida was also really great, and so was Cole… and you get the point. I loved them all.

*Pun not intended but acknowledged nevertheless.

My favorite pairing from the series is Ruby/Liam but sadly Liam is not in the tagset. It would be amazing if you wrote a Ruby/Liam story but if that's not your thing, I'd be equally happy with a gen story focusing on Ruby and Cole, Ruby and Chubs, Ruby and Vida, etc. Chubs/Vida in the background would be even more wonderful!

Story ideas:

Ruby definitely struggled with her abilities and had healthy/unhealthy coping mechanisms. Expanding on this would be great and including any of the other characters' responses to her coping mechanisms would be a definite plus.

Reunions are the best. Write how you would have liked the Liam and Ruby reunion in book 2 to have played out or expand on canon to bring on even more feels. Again, I fully realize that Liam is not in the tagset so don't feel pressured to include him. Instead write about a reunion between Ruby and one of the other main characters (like Chubs)!

I wish there were more scenes exploring the dynamics of Cole and Ruby's friendship and how that impacts their respective relationships with Liam, especially because Cole and Ruby relate on a level that I don't think Liam ever quite understood. One of my favorite parts from the whole series is the scene in the shower where Cole is basically interrogating Ruby for information about Liam. It's a totally non-romantic scene but very emotionally charged and it would be really interesting to read about it from Cole's point of view.

Impluse (TV):

Characters: Henrietta "Henry" Coles, Lucas Boone, Jenna Hope, Townes Linderman

This show became a surprise favorite of mine in 2018, mostly because it's on YouTube Red and I haven't given most of their original shows much thought. Also because it tackles rape and recovery in such a raw and interesting, especially in the context of a sci-fi show.

I just need more Henry Coles. If you want to do a romantic relationship I'd prefer seeing something explored with Lucas Boone or her canon love interest Josh (who was only in 2 episodes but really seemed to "get" Henry). Otherwise, gen stories between Henry and any/all of the tagset characters would be great.

Story Ideas:

Henry will never be fully "recovered" in the sense that one can never truly recover from rape. It will always have an impact on her life. The other characters get that and try to help her in any way they can.

While Lucas is aware of what his brother did to Henry, he has no idea of the real impact. I'd love a story where he learns more about her seizures and the way her anxiety/fears manifest themselves as teleportation.

Hurt/comfort in all forms because Henry has been hurt enough for a lifetime, but she could do with a whole lot more comfort. Either within the confines of season 1 or imagined opportunities for comfort in season 2.

We get the story from mostly Henry's perspective, but I'm sure there is a lot going on in the minds of Lucas, Jenna and/or Townes as the events of season 1 play out.

The Folk of the Air

Pairing: Cardan Greenbriar/Jude Duarte

Holly Black is an evil genius and I bow down to her greatness. Starting off the first book in this series, I never would have imagined that by the end I'd be rooting for Jude and Cardan to be together but here we are.

They are the ultimate enemies-to-lovers and I can't wait to see what happens to them in the second book coming in 2019.

Story ideas:

Maybe I'm being unrealistically optimistic, but despite Jude's betrayal at the end of the first book, I think these two can work it out. Perhaps Jude helps Cardan cope with the stresses of being king and he is able to move past what she did. Or maybe he sees how impossible Jude thought the situation was and comes to the realization that he was the only one she trusted to do it.

Madoc is a horrible father. Jude basically knows this from the beginning. Still, she was genuinely upset in discovering what he had done. I'd love to see her finally release all of that pent up anger - either her using Cardan as a sounding board for her rants or even having her completely breakdown under all of the stress and him comforting her.

We get the perspective of Jude throughout the entire book, but I would really enjoy seeing some of the scenes from Cardan's point of view as his feelings for Jude change.

There is no way that Jude's sister, Vivienne, wouldn't be alarmed when finding out that Jude and Cardan kissed. Jude having to explain her changed feelings for Cardan and Vivienne realizing that Jude is in like/love would be hilarious and heartwarming.

Things I don’t like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Speed into a supernatural werewolf story or the fantasy/sci-fi canons take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs or something similar because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding).

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within ships to be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per romantic relationship please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters if you hate my pairings, just write gen. 

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.  

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people growing closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset/situation and get better is so satisfying.

Thanks again and happy writing!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3 and FF.net)