#forgive the long ramblings but yeah

[sincerity--extreme]

"Kids" cartoons I overanalyzed and came to the conclusion 1 or more of the characters are neurodivergent:

Bluey

Bluey has ADHD (and maybe even ASD)- She always speaks really fast and goes from one topic to another in seconds and to most people they have no correlation but those of us with ADHD can make the connection, and Bingo ASD- She has difficulty expressing herself, goes nonverbal when overwhelmed, gets upset over "little things" that to her are a big deal but to others seem like something simple and unimportant, and I've seen other traits but I can't remember right now (And another character I forgot the name that appears in some episodes have ADHD too)

Max & Ruby

Ruby has OCD- Needs everything to be in perfect order, overthinks the outcome of every situation, overanalyze everything that needs to be done in order to be sure her entire plan will work out perfectly from beginning to end and gets very anxious if it doesn't, and more I can't really remember now, and Max is autistic- Doesn't use verbal communication as much as other kids his age (that happens a lot in the first 2 or 3 seasons and then he starts to talk a little more), obsession with dinosaurs to the point he knows everything about them and only really care about that most days (meaning won't really talk about anything himself and won't really listen if someone else starts a conversation about something else), will space out if the conversation is not about one of his special interests...

Pocoyo

Pocoyo is autistic- He's very curious but rarely forms full sentences, communicates mostly by pointing or taking other characters somewhere or use whatever key word he finds fitting and gets frustrated if no one understands him, plays often by himself in his own way, gets very frustrated to the point of meltdowns when others don't understand how he wants something to be done in a game...

I know this one is not very popular in many countries, but in mine it was a hit a few years ago and today is still watched by a lot of kids, though not as much anymore, precisely because of how Pocoyo is and the lack of verbal communication between all the characters, the parents see that as something that might delay the children's speech development so they don't let them watch it at all if they know how the cartoon is, I don't have kids so I don't know if that's really a big deal or not, but it made me want to talk about it to see other people's opinions

There's definitely more, but these are the 3 I've been thinking about these past 2 days and was actually writing a list to see if my own thoughts made sense, feel free to add more if you know any other!

[mblue-art]

Sorry for that question but I really curious!

What made you fell in love with Cross and Lust?

Tell us more!!

😳😳😳 hhuh what rreally,, , ,,, 😳 u wanna hear me yap abt my sillies, my beloveds,,, (i appreciate the enthusiasm tho omg 🥺🫶🫶🫶)

i want to have the yuris with lust and the yaois with cross I I MEAN HWHWAT 🧍‍♂️

UM.

haha anyWAY,, (oh gog this ended up long)

🍫—

cross checks so many boxes for me it makes me go insane. too good to be true. versatile(??)— like it's somehow way too easy to put him in Situations. (he's bf and husbone material??? just -20hp me now; that already kills me) he's. hh. gawddamn there's reasons why he won a utmv sans sexyman poll.

he's like a crush that you can't get out of your head no matter what you do, i'm so freaking down bad for him it's not even funny anymore. ever since simping for cross i have not been the same since. the man has changed me. the attraction/simp feelings hit me like a bat out of nowhere and i don't understand why it's so intense— i. hh.

,,i like when ppl make him dorky. stupidly silly (absolutely love shitpost shenanigans and would absolutely LOVE to get into silly shenanigans with him and with/without his bestie epic). fun to be around when he's deemed you as a good friend. stars, he'd give good hugs. strong, solid, and warm, the kind of hugs u don't wanna pull away from so soon. a little endearingly cringe. fanon simp cross is adorable and fun to mess around with. tsundere cross is adorable and fun to mess with. cute anxious guy under all that intimidating aloofness. when i say his smile is an absolute treasure, i mean that. his blush making him look like a grape or a glowing bulb is adorable and makes me wanna tease him more. anime protag/character vibes so strong i wanna have a cute bl/shoujo manga romance with him type shit yk.

then there's times when he's The Hot Dude and i think it's illegal if he's all confident and smug and dom actually (/hj) cause that makes me wanna fucking fite him HELLO? SIR? ILLEGAL????? (<- the fight or flight response of a tsundere towards a milder tsundere LOL).

-hp every single time. mf gets successful d20 rolls w/ rizz on me and i get a critical hit every time. it's a 50/50 either i fluster to death and become weak or i wanna fite his dumbass

i'll. i can fight him. i'll lose but i can fight him for sure. (why is he so cool⁉️‼️💢💢💢RRRRRRR)

he makes me feel things. lots of things. (mostly fluster but when i'm feelin sooper soff i jst wanna shower his skull in keeses. ima kissy lil guy)

tired cross makes me just wanna take care of him. want him to come home to me without any worry because he thinks i'm his safe space.

when he's being stubborn i want to tell him to chill out for a little while, take a break and watch some funny stuff while drinking choccy milk or eating his fav foods and be cozy. bapping him if he's gonna try to get out of this too soon. he's gonna get the free time he deserves n relax n get cuddles n kithes.

the way he can gently hold my hand and look at me with a sincere look in his eyelights and say something genuinely affectionate feels like cupid shooting an arrow through my soul, but also feels like a balm. (a promise of loyalty and faithfulness.) (a kiss on the forehead? a cherry on top.)

well now i can't be mean to him with all the nice he's saying and doing. i just want nice things for him o(-< (even if he's a bastard sometimes lol<3 all circles back to the silly) (silly is always important)

💜—

i love lust. so so so much. the fanon interpretation of him, anyway.

(don't get me wrong, i absolutely adore the feminine slay content of lust; but am i wrong for yearning for more masc lust content?)

i like my lust sans respectful, goofy, sans-like, an absolute sweetheart, and a caring, wonderful life partner. under the flirty personality and charm(ing looks), is a sans behavior that made me fall deeper. (he makes me feel very gender too) (ohmygofd yeah no he actually makes me think of gender sometimes rauauagrrgh<3/pos). i don't have to worry about showing my cring, weird side to him, because he's also a gremlin,, o(-< he doesn't have to present himself all nice and pretty all the time (although he's always pretty in my eyes). he can be comfortably himself; with me 🥺

i want to be his safe space.

i want to see him heal and be happy and be happy with me and give him all the love i can give and care for him and make him soso happy i just want him to feel SO sosososo loved, he deserves so much more

he's the only one who's able to get a certain reaction out of me; to pull flowers out of my heart. to pull out words of love and devotion and appreciation, heart bursting with affection only for him.

for him, i would try. i would live for him. i wish someone like him (the him i've created from interpretations and headcanons) was real irl.

i want to not care i don't care if he's a gorgeous well-known person that people fawn over, or if he's a campus crush, etc.,

i want him to think i'm worthy enough to keep in his life. for him to know how special he is to me, for him to know how much i want him in my life as much as i want him to keep me in his.

my immediate reaction when i think of him is: 😊💕💜💜💜eeeee kicks and giggles and flaps hands teehee

i love him so much i get a heart-on for him (/silly but it is true sometimes; love him so much it aches (in a good way))

[robotsafari]

redrawing my favorite gba chain of memories scenes with my own interpretations part 1(?):

“You’re thinking about me… You’re afraid of the darkness I command.”

[macabreblublu]

Long time hyperfixations are coming back

And guess what that is?

Yes, non-humans again

Specifically Aliens

Yautjas :)))

Also that pic above is nice but that didn’t do it justice

Lemme just

Good good, but needs a lil close up

Ok I couldn’t find perfect photos but basically I just wanna see these beautiful hunks😩👌🏼

*me checking off Yautja on my hyperfixation list

Anyways yeah, art for these dudes are coming-

[designernishiki]

all jokes aside, I think that haruka would be pretty quick to forgive majima for the whole kidnapping thing back in yk1. partly cause we know majima, who he is as a person, and how he feels about kids and whatnot, so I think it’s safe to assume he made it as clear as possible she was safe at the time and that he wanted kiryu to come and find her as much as she did. but moreover, one of haruka’s number one philosophies, despite all the shit she’s been through, seems to be that people are fundamentally good and thus almost always deserving of compassion and second chances. don’t get me wrong swooping in and taking her off the street was a stupid and reckless idea and I’m not saying it wouldn’t have freaked her out/hurt her emotionally or anything– but. (especially considering all the things she’d find out soon enough that majima does for kiryu– how many times he saves kiryu’s life and risks his own to do so, how he helps kiryu in his own weird ways, etc) I think she’d be much quicker than the average person to accept an apology and see through his persona scarily well to tell he’s got a much bigger heart than anyone really knows and deserves/needs a lot more compassion than he’s been given in his life. I really honestly think she would not hold a grudge, especially if she got at least one heart to heart with him, and would be capable of bonding with him if given the chance

[elena-of-avalor-polls]

Okay, forget what I was saying about mini polls between the big tournaments, I need these hiatuses otherwise I’ll die.

[zombiified]

i’m contemplating the stories behind krakrofis’s realm

for one, where all his monsters are housed… in every possibility i’ve considered the trees, whether it be non physical forms inside (like how i assume a pokeball works) or that everything is proportionally huge and they do act as physical houses

krak can grow, it’s been canon for a few years now that he’s able to reach at least a hundred feet tall but i dont give him many opportunities to actually do that, so having things be bigger would be a good opportunity for that

having the monsters be housed in more spiritual forms over physical forms gives more opportunity to lean into the more supernatural side of their lore

in both, i think itd be nice to consider a backstory thats something about how it used to be a lot more lively of a place when he had his plant life; the realm is based on him and his own state. that would only leave for some gaps, like how that happened to begin with

in the version of the story that goes like that the majority of his citizens would be forced to leave his realm after the great death it would be the inciter for the war that the entire plot of sn surrounds… krakrofis, being the leader he was, would leave and find other places for his monsters to inhabit and live in but over time discover that having more souls under his rule would give him more power because of the power the souls give him. magic bullshit idk i can explain it a lot better in pictures. this would be the point where krakrofis is led astray by his own greed, turning from a selfless ruler into a power hungry monster.

eithymera, of course, would try to stop him from going too far. at that point she sees krakrofis as a friend, and she knows that not only is his colonization streak hurting the people he’s overpowering but also gaining more power, while good in the short term, would gain the attention of the higher gods. she knows that if they figure out what he’s up to they will take EVERYTHING from him in order to prevent him from becoming more powerful than them, and so for everyone involved she has a duty to try and stop him, even if she hates to hurt him and her own monsters in the process of a war.

of course theres a few plot holes in that story like how everything died in the first place or why nobody else besides eithymera has stepped in, but im sure that as i write more about it those will fill in and figure themselves out just like this has figured itself out as i write and ramble and say whatever bullshit comes to mind

yeah thats it theres nothing profound here just a brain word vomit

[hjemne]

Long rant. If my housemate turns up strangled then you're not allowed to use this in court against me or whatever. My genuine opinion is that this guy needs amphetamines and financial hardship, and he's not going to bother getting better without that

Housemate has 6 exams to pass, then one more year of university. Housemate has taken 2 years out already. Housemate goes to Very Prestigious University who very rarely lets people take 2 years out to begin with.

Housemate moves in mid-April. Literally does not leave the house for over a month. Lives off deliveroo. Does negative amounts of housework. Comes out to shower twice a day for 30+ mins with boiling hot water. Otherwise is in his room 23/7. Turned down all offers to socialise 'until after exams' starting two months before exams.

Housemate does not go to revision classes. Housemate does not go to lectures. Housemate does not do anything.

Day before first exam, housemate realises he misread his exam timetable. He has not prepared for the exam the next day. This is somehow not his fault. Housemate decides to take a third year out. Housemate misses the first exam. Housemate's father flies across the world to support him.

Housemate schedules a meeting to discuss taking a third year out. The meeting is at the same time as his second exam. Housemate misses his second exam. Very Prestigious University decides he cannot take a third year out. Housemate thinks this is unfair, because one person in the past was allowed to take three years out. Housemate does not appreciate how exceptional it is to be allowed to take even two years out. Very Prestigious University gives him a very generous compromise of averaging his mark for the final four exams, ignoring the two he missed. Housemate does not appreciate how exceptional this offer is.

Housemate has 6 days between the meeting and his first (third) exam. Housemates sister flies across the world to support him. Housemate decides the day before his first (third) exam that he is dropping out. Housemate immediately gives up at the second first sign of trouble. Housemate wants to change to a different course but stay at the Very Prestigious University. Housemate is fucking deluded about his reality.

Meanwhile, I have sat 6 exams in 8 days at the same Very Prestigious University, representing over 60% of my final grade for my entire 4 year degree.

Housemate has ADHD and depression. I have ADHD and depression. Housemate faced close family bereavement last year. I faced close family bereavement two months ago. Housemate is sad because 5 years ago he was 'falsely accused of rape' and lost friends. I was raped by my domestic partner last year and could only start processing it a few months ago when my housing no longer depended on staying with my rapist. Housemate thinks he has suffered more than Jesus on the cross and so should get special exemptions to university rules (he also thinks he should get his third year off because he misread the single paragraph rule around taking time off). Housemate doesn't seem to consider that other people also have things going on in their lives, but which they have to push through and deal with by actively engaging in the support available instead of months-long self-imposed isolation. Housemate told the university staff who have been helping him that it's the university's problem if so many people are struggling. Which may be true but is a bold fucking move from the guy who has done nothing for multiple years and then expects the university staff to bail him out last minute and do what he wants them to do.

Housemate is also a terrible housemate. Housemate continues to misgender NB housemate. Housemate owes NB housemate hundreds in unpaid bills that he forgets about. Housemate got me alone in his room at 2am and tried to kiss me despite me giving zero indication that I in any way wanted that. Housemate does not do the very very simplest of household tasks despite multiple verbal, texted and printed reminders. Housemate leaves blood (from acne) in the bathroom for others to clean up. Housemate is so goddamn useless and willfully, deliberately ignorant that he doesn't bother trying to unload the dishwasher "because he doesn't know where plates go" my brother in Christ you have spent four months in this house and it is a tiny fucking house!!!!!!! Use your eyeballs you obtuse motherfucker!!!! do you not have a shred of curiosity or independence?? Is there truly nothing going on upstairs?? It's not even that he needs everything spelled out for him, because no matter how many reminders he gets, he still doesn't do it. He needs everything done for him. He doesn't even get his groceries from the shop 5 mins away bc he gets everything delivered. He is 23. He has actively and deliberately cut himself off from others, and then moans about not having a 'proper university experience'. He genuinely seems to believe in his own self-importance, genuinely seems to believe that rules should bend around whatever he wants to happen. He thinks he's the world's specialest and most persecuted little guy when he's really just an incompetent man who cannot function without being coddled by mummy or without being bankrolled by daddy, who is driving himself further into his mental health spiral by refusing to face up to responsibility or reality or consequences. And he can afford to do this because his family are extremely wealthy, so he can always find an escape from doing anything even slightly hard. Because family money gives him the ability to do nothing at all! And so he wont! Because he's not even attempting to manage his ADHD, and so he will always procrastinate until the last minute, then use his money to wiggle out of it anyway. It's destroying him!! And he's destroying my sanity!

I'm going to start tearing him limb from limb with my teeth.

Only positive is that I now look incredible in comparison. Doesn't matter what grade I graduate with, because I at least will graduate

[everythingsinred]

Hey considering Natsume danced with a lot of girls just because Mikan said she was never going to dance with him.

Do you think that in a hypothetical scenario Natsume would have been able to kiss another girl just because Mikan kissed someone? Like for jealousy? just kiss, not be boyfriend and girlfriend or fall in love. I want to know what you think.

Hiii!

IDK if you are the same person who asked about Natsume's jealousy and petty reactions with the dancing before or not, but if not I find it interesting that this aspect of their relationship sticks out to people. Not that it doesn't stick out to me, but it's something I've been asked about a couple of times before and that seems interesting to me.

I've talked about this event in these answers (one & two) and in this part of Natsume's essay.

ANYWAY.... to answer your question briefly.... No. I don't think he would.

Long answer is under the cut.

Natsume danced with those girls in Chapter 26 because Mikan announced loudly she'd never dance with Natsume, and he took that personally. BUT I must also state that we see him dancing with only one girl to spite Mikan. Mikan assumes she's the only person he won't dance with, and I personally believe he was busying himself and spiting her by dancing with others, but there's no real proof that he did beside the one girl.

He clearly got bored pretty fast and ran away to hide in the woods away from other human beings so he wouldn't have to dance anymore.

This contrasts with his behavior at the Christmas Ball, where he clearly intends to hide in the tree for the whole event, stopping by for a slice of cake real quick. He only gets himself involved in the events when Ruka forces him to dance with Mikan. If it weren't for that, I think he would have stayed in the tree the whole time and wouldn't have danced with anybody else.

Natsume dances with other girls in Chapter 26 because Mikan says she wouldn't dance with him. It's one of the rare things he does out of spite. Mikan flat out tells Natsume she doesn't see why anybody would want to kiss him and his response to spite her is to kiss her.

Also I must stress that Natsume believes she has been kissed by someone else!

He thinks Ruka kissed her earlier that evening and has thought so all evening since Ruka kissed her on the cheek (she has been acting strangely and blushing and generally freaking out. He doesn't necessarily see this, but one of her concerns is that Ruka not get the wrong idea about her accidental "tooth kiss" with Natsume).

He thinks she has been kissed before, and his response is not to kiss somebody else. Natsume doesn't really want to hurt Mikan, firstly. Secondly, the whole "spite" thing only works if he thinks Mikan wants to kiss him, or could possibly be bothered by the idea of kissing someone else, and his self-hatred prevents that.

Mikan danced with almost everybody in Chapter 26, except for Natsume. To get back at her, he dances with everyone but her. There's not really any outwardly romantic insinuation about dancing since they both do it so liberally that night.

Kissing is different. Kissing is not something that Mikan would do with just anyone, and in Chapter 50, Natsume is convinced she's kissed Ruka and that the two like each other. If Mikan likes Ruka, then she probably won't care if Natsume kisses somebody else, right?

Besides, Mikan has convinced herself that Natsume has kissing experience too, and he doesn't really correct that. We could take that as his spiteful act, since he's giving the same thing Mikan is: not communicating clearly.

I genuinely think Natsume's behavior in Chapter 26 is out of the ordinary. He has a new interest in a girl, something he's not used to. His jealousy usually punishes the person he's jealous of (think Tsubasa or Tono, who can hug Mikan freely when he can't), or Mikan by just insulting her if he can't punish the person he's jealous of (he never punishes Ruka).

But his way of hurting Mikan is really specific after this: he generally tells her Ruka is too good for her, or he calls her names. It's not about how Natsume thinks he deserves better than her. At no point in the manga does he hint to Mikan that he's interested in any girl other than her (he dances with one girl that we see in Chapter 26, but since she's supposedly one of many, that means she's not special, AND Luna in the Sports Fest, against his will, so not done to make Mikan jealous).

This is actually why I don't care much for playboy! Natsume in fics; emotions or not, he's just flat out uninterested in them. He's so laser-focused on Mikan that he gives up really easily. He doesn't think making Mikan jealous is possible, also, so he doesn't try. He has a really low self esteem and that's part of the reason it takes so long for them to actually communicate their feelings.

That's the reason Natsume tells her to tell him she loves him with her own voice in the Rapunzel Arc: he's still not sure of it. He continuously doubts Mikan's feelings and considers his stronger than hers, which leads ultimately to his death. His whole arc is about sacrifice, and a big part of that is feeling that his role in people's life is protecting them, rather than any innate value he has for them.

It's also the reason why people use Luna to make Mikan jealous in fics!

I know this might bother people, but Luna is often used in fics, typically AUs, to make Mikan jealous. As we know, Luna is actually significantly older than the kids and is not at all interested in Natsume because she 1. treats him like shit and 2. is actually in love with the ESP. However, jealousy is such a huge part of most fics, and considering that jealousy of Luna is what made Mikan realize her feelings for Natsume, it feels like an important facet to the NM relationship, even in an AU.

I agree with this! I have even written a lil post about how hard it is to do a jealous!Mikan arc for a fic without using Luna. So, actually, despite it technically being OOC for Luna to be genuinely interested in Natsume, I don't care. I think Luna can and should be used in whichever way people want, since her role in canon cannot be easily transferred to an AU where Gulliver candy doesn't exist. (I do it too. Luna's is too flexible a role in the manga to not be toyed with in fics... be mad if you want but that's your problem.)

(To elaborate, Luna's role in the manga is to irritate Mikan but specifically by making her jealous and endangering Mikan's relationship with Natsume. Because of Luna, Mikan has to face the fact that at first she dislikes a girl just because it seems Natsume "likes" her, and then further, to assess why she's jealous when Luna reveals herself more. If one were to stick with Luna being the same age as Yuka in AUs, that's fine, but considering that Luna does play a vital role in making Mikan jealous in the manga, I don't think it's that weird to run with that in AUs. Hope that makes sense.)

Someone in the replies to the above mentioned post references using misunderstandings, and yes that's possible, but it would be momentary, like it is in the manga. Misunderstandings are difficult to stretch out or make enjoyable in fics. In fact, Mikan's misunderstanding that Natsume has kissed other girls in Chapter 50 is actually cleared up by Natsume himself right after he kisses her!

To sum it up, Natsume's clearly not all that interested in making Mikan jealous for a prolonged period of time anyway. He clears up misunderstandings quick and his one spite-motivated jealousy tactic is not all that romantic considering how much they dance with other people. I also don't think Natsume would want to have kissed someone other than Mikan, tbh. He gets bored of dancing with other girls in Chapter 26 so going out of his way to kiss another girl? That's just not interesting to him and would be punishing himself more than her.

I don't know if I communicated all my points in the best way, but long story short: no, I don't think he'd kiss another girl to spite Mikan or make her jealous.

[queenofbaws]

i’m not usually a thanksgiving person for a whole host of reasons, but this year’s got me feeling a certain kind of way, so if i haven’t said it recently, i’m so, so thankful for all you out there - my buddies who live in the computer. even when i’m feeling down and out, all y’all out there in internetland always find a way to make me smile. idk what life would be like without you guys, and i don’t want to find out! <3

if you celebrate, i hope you had a good one, and if you don’t, i hope you had a good one too <333 gobble gobble or whatever ;P

[todayisafridaynight]

One thing about Yokoyama and Jo is that Yokoyama advocates using a rocket launcher against him

AND HE'S RIGHT

[tvrningout-a]

you ever find a song that you can so perfectly imagine your character's happy ending to??? bc i found kaiya's and i'm not okaY

[arolesbianism]

Oh baby I am getting way to ambitious with my current oni run for someone who's laptop starts screaming anytime it opens steam

[pellucid-constellations]

I'd Answer

You've been gone. Azriel's been broken. Something has to change, and Azriel would do anything.

Part 2 of If You Cared to Ask

“This is for you,” Mor huffed, plopping down a small bouquet of roses onto the growing garden that seemed to have sprouted on the table. “What is that, number twelve?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t count them,” you brushed off, your gaze falling on the gifts for a fleeting moment.

Mor hummed. “Are they doing anything for you?” 

“Not particularly.” 

Your friend shuffled into the small sitting room and gracefully landed in the chair beside yours, her eyes piercing a hole in the side of your head when you refused to look up. She sighed, and then sighed again, making a show of slotting her chin in her palm and looking forlorn. 

The third sigh was your breaking point. 

You placed your book on the table and turned to Mor with your brows raised. “Yes?” 

“Oh, nothing,” she airily replied. “I was just wondering when you were going to give this up. You don’t have to forgive the guy, but at least put me out of my misery and let me tell him where you’re staying. I’m basically a delivery service at this point. He says sorry again, by the way.” 

“Oh, well in that case—” 

“More than just sorry, but I can’t remember everything he said. It was all rambly and his face was all gaunt.” Mor pressed her fingers up to cover her eyes. “I’m not even sure if he’s eating. Rhys had to stop sending him out because he almost fell out of the sky.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel bad?”

You hoped your ruse was believable because hearing that Azriel was doing so poorly did make you feel bad. Your heart lept up to your throat at the prospect of your mate falling from the sky from exhaustion. But he had had so many opportunities to make this right and you weren’t about to give up your anger so easily. 

Mor offered a sad expression that looked authentic this time. “Y/n, he loves you. He’s an idiot and the whole lot of them are mindless fools, but Azriel has never loved anything the way he loves you.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you snorted. “And he shows that love by forgetting me and then arguing when I’m clearly upset over it?” 

“I know. He told me how much of an ass he’s been. But, I promise you, I’ve known Azriel for a long time. He was just—just handling everything with Rhys poorly. He felt so so guilty when Rhys got trapped. You know that.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek and avoided Mor’s gaze. “I know.” 

The lack of vitriol in your tone had Mor perking up. “And you remember how hard he tried to get him back—how broken he was when Rhys sent out his last message. Az feels responsible for everything when it comes to his family.”

You didn’t need the reminder. The tortured way he carried himself over the past 50 years was evidence enough of the truth behind Mor’s words. And you had been there to soothe that pain, to help run the court that Rhys left behind. 

When silence persisted, Mor craned her neck to catch your gaze. “I’m not saying what he did was right, but you know he’s been in overdrive since Rhys returned. He goes off on those missions when Rhys calls, but… y/n, he only leaves without notice when his informants…” 

Mor trailed off. 

Your gaze finally flickered up. “When?” 

Mor bit her lip and winced. “He told me not to tell you this part. He said he didn’t want you to think he was making excuses.” 

“Tell me anyways.” 

“Fine. But you can’t rat me out.” Mor sighed and leaned back in the chair, still facing you. “He does go on every mission Rhys proposes, and that’s… stupid, but he tells you about those ones, I think. When he just up and leaves, it’s because—y/n, it’s because they're about you. You know there’s a slew of people that want you dead for your involvement up in Illyria. He has a team of informants with the sole purpose of listening for you name.

“He goes on Rhys’s missions because he doesn’t want his family separated again, but sometimes, it’s because he just wants to protect his mate.” 

A stone dropped past your ribs and into your stomach. “But, he never told me—” 

“You know these overgrown bats think that suffering in silence is an honorable thing to do,” Mor rolled her eyes. “They overwork themselves fighting the good fight or whatever and seem to forget that the rest of the world is still out there, facing the consequences of their actions. And… I think he just wanted you to feel safe. I think he’s been scared.” 

Something sickly climbed its way up your consciousness. You looked down at your hands as they rested in your lap. 

You hadn’t seen Azriel in six days, and each day had more anger coursing through you, building up a wall that you thought impenetrable. Because you were so angry; Azriel had disappointed you time and time again, left you feeling abandoned and alone, and then he got defensive about it as if you were the one at fault. 

Part of you always knew it was a defense of some sort, but you had thought it a defense of something nefarious. You had tossed around the idea of infidelity a few times, and that rivaled the thought of him simply falling out of love with you. 

But it was this. 

It was him hiding how hard he’d been trying to protect you—however idiotic his tactics may have been. 

“You can tell him where I am,” you murmured clenching your fingers into your palm. “And leave the door unlocked, I guess.” 

Mor had left the small apartment on the outskirts of Velaris before you finished your sentence. 

It took approximately 7 minutes for a tentative knock to sound at your door. 

Mor had left it unlocked, but there was still a knock. 

You took a glance at the pile of flowers on the table before heading to the front door. The old floorboards creaked under your feet, a reminder of the rundown apartment you had sought out after you left. It was a frantic process, searching for a place to stay; you hadn’t cared much for luxury or comfort.  

Opening the door was jarring. Azriel’s wings were half-raised as if he’d just flown down and then forgot how to control them. His face was pallid with dark smudges beneath his eyes. His hair was windswept, expected from the flight, but it looked tugged at and disheveled beyond that. 

“Hi.” 

Maybe you’d been looking him over too long because Azriel’s voice cracked at the single word. He sounded unsure, verging on afraid, and all you had done was pass over his figure with your eyes. 

You tightened your grip on the door handle. “Um, hi.” Your tone was harsher than you meant it to be. 

Azriel flinched. “I’m sorry, Mor said…” 

“No, I—Come in.” 

You stepped back and pushed the door open to accommodate his hesitant steps into your rental. Azriel stood in the middle of the space and wrung his hands as you shuffled behind him, a slight tremor showing in his fingers. You leaned back against the door with your own hands pressed at the small of your back. You watched Azriel’s lingering gaze trail over the flowers in the corner of the room. 

“You didn’t like them?” he meekly asked. 

Something inside of you hurt. 

“They were okay,” you answered. “But I didn’t want flowers.” 

Azriel nodded and his lashes fluttered shut. His hands twitched. 

“I’m sorry—for the flowers, I mean. They were a pathetic reason to send Mor to you. You wanted to be left alone.” 

“I did not want to be left alone, Azriel.” You kicked away from the door, bringing your arms across your chest for some form of protection. “I wanted you. I wanted you to care about me.”

“I do,” Azriel stressed. He took a step forward and the wood beneath his boot creaked. “I do, y/n.  I care about you more than anything—I love you.” 

“Then why couldn’t you show me? Why did it take me leaving, me getting hurt, for you to finally listen to me and see how much I’ve needed you?” 

Your chest was heaving, each word from your lips a choked gasp. Azriel took all of it and absorbed your full meaning, seeming to wince at every insinuation that he didn’t love you. His jaw quivered and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. 

“Why did you stop talking to me?” you asked, a broken rendition of your anger. “Why—Mor told me… She told me things. Things that make sense. But why does it feel like I don’t matter to you?” 

“My love,” Azriel stressed. Yearned. He rushed forward, abandoning all reservations and gathering you into his arms as tears began making headway down your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I can’t—I’m so so sorry.” His words were almost lost against your temple as he held you, each apology a whisper of a kiss against your skin. 

“You weren’t there and Devlon—he—” 

“I know, angel, I know and I’m so sorry. Had I known… Had I listened.” He pulled you back from his chest, crouching down to meet your eye and wiping tears from your cheeks. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was keep you safe. I thought I was doing that. I don’t know what Mor told you—” 

“She told me everything. She told me you’ve been following leads about me and taking on too much. She told me you’re scared.” 

Azriel breathed and it sounded anguished. “I am terrified. We lost Rhysand and now you are in the throes of a society that almost killed me. I—I wake up every morning and everything is good and I am so afraid to lose that. I thought I was protecting you, protecting us. But I almost lost you and—” 

You let out a breathy cry. “You could never lose me, Azriel.” 

He pressed his forehead to yours, the wetness of his cheeks now apparent. Azriel’s hands were firm on either side of your head and his fingers laced up into your hair. 

Gods, you missed him. 

You missed him and everything hurt. 

“I’ll do better. I’ll be better. Just please—please, don’t leave again. Please come home. Let me fix this.”

The want was overwhelming. It would be so easy to say yes, but it would be just as easy for nothing to change. 

“You can’t do that again, Azriel,” you stressed, shaking your head and causing your mate to draw back. Only a breath was left between you. “You have to tell me what’s going on. You can’t—you can’t leave me in the dark. You can’t make me feel like that.”

Azriel’s head shook in desperation. “I won’t. I promise I won’t.” 

“I need to know I can rely on you—trust you.” 

“You can, angel.” 

“I need to know that you love me.” 

A pained sound escaped Azriel’s throat. He licked his lips and reaffirmed his hold on your face, locking his eyes with yours in a beseeching gaze. 

“I love you more than life itself, angel. I couldn’t breathe when you were gone. I can’t believe I made you think that I don’t. You are my life. Let me show you. Please, let me show you.”

You tracked your eyes between both of his. “Okay, Azriel.” 

“I’m going to keep you safe.”

“I am safe.” 

“I love you.” 

"I know you do, Az. I know."

[tojisun]

!! minors dni; simon x cam girl f!reader; kinda sexting; UNEDITED and RAMBLING // divider by @/plutism <3

yall know those ‘ask me’ thingies in instagram and how theyre not anonymous? mmmprmn thinkin about simon finally giving in and sends cam girl! reader replies (he’s not tech savvy, forgive him 😔)

the questions are always fashioned the same way, he’s noticed. you only ever post those, anyway, when you’re in the middle of editing a new video but it’s taking too long so to keep your loyal viewers interested, you entertain them with little questions.

“which toy next?” you posted, showcasing four different sex toys splayed on your bed—a purple sucking vibrator, that bullet vibrator you’ve made multiple videos on, a rainbow-coloured dildo, and another one that squirts which is simon’s favourite if he’s being honest.

you always did cum the hardest when you’re being pumped full. simon wonders how much more intense would it be if you were properly fucked and filled; stuffed continuously, repeatedly, until your pussy’s all wet and sensitive. until it takes—

overtaken by his desire, he gives in and he types out his answer, “a real prick would look better in you.”

he didn’t expect you to see it, let alone for you to reply, but you did and simon reads it with a huff.

> ok troll

i’d volunteer myself, really. <

> yeah right. like i can trust you

what? you want proof that i can make you feel good? <

your reply doesn’t come in and he knows that you must want the whole interaction to end there, but simon won’t let you—doll, he’s finally managed to talk to the girl he’s been fantasizing about, did you really think he’d let the opportunity pass? you don’t even know how many times he’s fucked his fist to the videos of you bullying a dildo in your sopping cunt or the ones of you squirting while you ride that saddled vibrator that punches out guttural moans from the base of your throat.

jesus, just thinking about you mewling and creaming, your skin shimmering with your sweat, has simon chubbing up in his sweats.

so he gets bolder, changing his accounts—both this and the one he’s used to subscribe to your site—so that you know it’s him. he uploads pictures, exposing enough of himself that it feels real and authentic, and begins to tack on messages to every tips he gives.

it takes about two months until you finally caved.

> so… youre not a troll :(

why the sad face? did you want me to be? <

> course not!

> hby? what do YOU want

simon licks at his chapped lips, his legs unconsciously spreading already.

how about pics? show you what i was volunteering? <

> uh

> you wanna send a dick pic?

yeah. evens out the relationship, don’t it? after all, i just about know how your pussy looks and how it squirts. <

> youre soooo weird LOL

> but sure yea why not ig

simon snorts because try as you may, you don’t sound unbothered at all. after all, he knows you’ve been looking back at him—you followed him back in his socials, you even respond to all his tips and messages, and one time you even moaned his alias out loud during your stream. really, you’re not subtle with your own interest at all.

he pulls his sweats down and takes a pic of his half-chub. it’s a little blurry, and the angle captures more of the tuft of hair than the way his cock’s all flushed and filling-out, but simon knows what a decent dick picture looks like—they’ve all received numerous from mactavish—and this one looks good enough so he sends it to you and watches as his message goes from delivered to seen.

you don’t reply right away, nor after three minutes—he knows because the commercials ended and his game’s back on—and simon wonders if you’re back to ignoring him when—

> oh

> thats a good dick

he laughs, booming.

oh so you want it now? <

a speech bubble appears, then it disappears, then it appears again. this happens for a while and it’s somewhat entertaining to simon, mirth filling him up. then, you finally send your reply and this time simon couldn’t stop the barked out laughter that rumbles from his throat because you sent him your address.

simon’s out the door in minutes, his bike keys clutched in his fist.

[screeching-bunny]

Yandere! Jock pt. 2

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

Pt.1

Yandere! Jock was in a really bad mood today. First off you didn’t answer his good morning text or show up to school. He’s been worried about you all day! He honestly can’t stand being away from you for this long. He just feels so lonely without your presence. The entire time he’s ignored and neglected his jock friends due to his thoughts of you. No amount of coaxing from his peers can get him out of the mini depression that he is currently in right now.

Right now, he’s in his last class staring at the clock and ready to storm out of the school doors. His foot tapped with the rhythm of the ticking clock. Honestly, where could you be and the audacity of you to just ignore his barging number texts! He looks so lost without you and has been moping around the entire day.

The moment he hears the final school bell ring he just books it. From a distance you can hear someone shout to him “Where are you going? We have practice today!” Yeah, he was definitely going to get an earful from his coach when he got back. He’s been ditching practice so much lately just to hang out with you. To the point that his teammates and his coach force you to watch him practice so that he could stay.

Moving back to Yandere! Jock, he was currently on his way to your house. If he knew that you were going to skip today he totally would have stayed at your house with you. Nothing compares to the pleasure of being near you 24/7. That’s basically the only reason why he goes to school everyday.

When he makes it to your house he takes out a spare key that you have given him. He’s been to your house so often that your parents no longer get surprised when he stays over for weeks on end. As he goes into your home he likes to fantasize that the two of you are a married couple and say dumb cheesy things like “Honey, I’m home” Hearing no response from you he quickly makes his way to your room and knocks on your door.

On the other side of the door he can hear the faint sound of you shuffling out of your bed and getting up. He almost starts to coo at the sight of you rubbing your eyes and the sight of your red little nose. Turns out that you were sick and sleeping for the entire day. His heart starts to melt due to the sound of your sneeze and small voice.

Soon it finally registers on his pea sized brain that you were sick. WAIT, YOU WERE SICK!!! Oh no, Yandere! Jock goes into complete panic mode and it’s literally code red for him. He’s treating your common cold as if it were a fatal disease. He is instantly ushering you back into your bed and scolding you for not texting him that you were sick. If he had known, he would have dropped everything just to take care of you for the entire day.

He immediately starts massaging your temples in hopes that it would decrease your headache and lord forgive that you tell him that you haven’t eaten lunch yet. He was honestly about to have a heart attack when you first said that. He’s already down back into the kitchen ready to make a 5 course meal just for you. In order for his darling to be healthy, they first need a balanced meal.

The minute he finishes cooking, he starts spoon feeding you, your meal. It doesn’t matter if you protest that, he is not letting you move a single limb. Besides, what if your muscles are too weak to properly hold a spoon and you hurt yourself? He is absolutely taking no risks no matter how dumb they may seem. Everything that you need will be taken care of by him. He’s even willing to carry you over to places in your house. Honestly, if anything that is just for the benefit and satisfaction of himself.

After lunch, Yandere! Jock lays in your bed and proceeds to watch a movie with you by his side. It just feels so in place to be snuggled up with you under the covers as he rambles on about his day. He feels so at peace and can’t stop looking at how adorable you are. Believes that he is the luckiest man alive to be blessed with your presence on a daily basis.

As the movie comes to its climax he can feel your body relax and snuggle deeper into him. The peaceful look on your face is so wholesome to him and makes him think that maybe you getting sick isn’t such a bad thing after all. I mean, if everyday is like this then he doesn’t mind if you get sick more often.

The minute that you recover from your illness he is getting sick the next day. You’ll have to take care of him or else he’ll whine the entire day about you needing to return the favor. It is honestly such a win for him. It feels as if he’s just died and gone to heaven. Would totally get sick on purpose next time so that he can get the same treatment again. Too bad he’s going to have a lot of homework to make up for.