#forgive my shitty attempt at perspective

[shelbswastaken]

Me and someone in the demon haunt discord came up with an smt iv au where everything is the same but the world outside of japan is fine and Stephen managed to jerry-rig an internet network for tokyo/mikado so the main characters have social media accs and I decided to sketch a silly scenario

[beepsalotl]

crying ugh i love these characters so much and i hate the world so much except i dont and i just wish i could have what these characters had and be in a place that isnt like this one

im gonna cry ugh i dont know why i care so much, theyre not even real. but, like, in my head, they are, yknow? as in, they exist in the space i built for rhem as i read the series and learned about them and their world

fun fact, they were the first two characters whose books (each is the continuation of the story from a different third-person-limited perspective) had their names in the title. black hardcover w green embellishments for moonwatcher, a nightwing. white hardcover w blue for winter, an icewing. books six and seven, respectively. all the symbolism was there before you even open the goddamn books. yin and yang. AND YET.

and also they had two different histories and their tribes had a stale feud for thousands of years bc of some asshole jerkface. moon knew nothing about it bc she was raised in the rainforest practically by herself bc her mom had to sneak away from the shitty volcanic island the nightwings lived on to hide from the historic nightmare jerkface. winter knew all about it (or he THOUGHT he did bc he only knew the icewing side) bc he grew up surrounded by heirarchy and laws and rules and structure. moon didn’t grow up with the resentment at all, which allowed her a chance to see the truth.

she had to be self-sufficient. he had structure to lean on, even if it made him narrow-minded and nearly hard-hearted. he had to break through that, and she learned how to have patience. i feel like moon herself is sorely underdeveloped but i take the hints i can get and i feel that she learned how to forgive him by understanding who he was through his thoughts and, after skyfire, remembering that he was different inside than out and was still struggling.

when they were together, he was trying to be better and learn and he was kinder and softer even though he struggled to always be like that, and she was so patient with him.

heartbroken enraged screaming ensues, really.

like the rey and ben situation at the end of tros.

having him die in the end undermines everything the skywalker legacy stood for and all the development he had and it still breaks my heart bc he proved people can make bad, horrible choices and can survive abuse and break through it and change and be better and be loved. and then he DIED instead of getting his happy ending, which practically is what happened to winter bc the author basically said fuck you go live in the mountains doing work for peace and studying scavengers (which i know is his passion, but….) and your friends will hardly visit or write and they wont tell you the truth about how they defeated the bad guy WITHOUT ANY OF YOUR HELP EVEN THOUGH YOURE MORE THAN CAPABLE and they wont trust you and youll be alone forever.

my list of pairings and characters that i���m unreasonably heartbroken over:

ben and rey, winter and moon, catra and adora, draco and harry, zuko and katara.

catradora got together, ik, but their story still breaks my heart no matter how much hope it also gives me.

anyway, there’s no way for me to end this bc i dont even know what im feeling. it’s been years but winterwatcher’s fate still tears me up inside with the way it dashed my dreams of seeing a character like winter learn to let himself be loved.

i want to learn to let myself be loved, but i dont know how.

these characters are my attempts at finding myself out in the world and seeing if it’s possible. i dont attach my self-worth to them, but it hurts to see them fail to find romantic love where i saw it. idk

— a quick journal entry i wrote in my notes app years ago, as an emotional 16 year old with identity issues and way too much alone time on my hands

[thegeminisage]

it's TNG UPDATE TIME. last night* we watched "birthright" parts i & ii. just this once, i'm not combining them because i can distinctly differentiate between the episodes, they were actually (after all that angst) kind of unconnected, though i would have DIED to have left it on that cliffhanger

* time changed i'm scheduling this to go up when people are awake

birthright part i (tng):

DS9 CROSSOVER! i wish it could have been for both halves. also, i kind of wish odo could have been the one to talk to data even though he has no reason whatsoever to leave. it just would have been so much autism in one room

human brent spiner HORRIBLE to look at. the faces he makes as dr soong (which...why would dr soong be white...was that old man white idr...) remind me of lore's.

however: thrilled that data can dream now. i was so happy also that everyone treated him really niceys. except bashir who microaggressed him one time but i forgive him because it was funny

it was WWWWILD to see tng characters walkin around ds9. i hated tng in my ds9 but i loved ds9 in my tng. i wish they had a budget for a proper crossover. did sisko have to be in the same room as picard again? did o'brien go aboard and say hello? i miss him so bad.

minor deanna and worf moment in this ep when she comforts him over his dad potentially being alive. mwah. i feel like the tng side characters have been non-existent for awhile...first we stopped watching tng as much for ds9, then we got that deanna-only ep, then that picard-only ep, and now the ds9 crossover and the worf-only ep...can we PLEASE get the gang back together

final note i love that worf loves shitty replicator food and also riker's terrible cooking. king.

birthright part ii (tng):

i have complex feelings.

worf's dad plot as a means to get worf to be the pov character for the ethical dilemma of this episode kind of undermined the entire ethical dilemma

the ethical dilemma tng THOUGHT it was presenting was, "if klingons and romulans have escaped the war to live peacefully together, is it right to disrupt their way of life just because their children might choose differently?"

THE ACTUAL DILEMMA IT PRESENTED WAS. IF YOU HAVE SEVENTY-THREE KLINGON PRISONERS OF WAR. actually that's not even a question. they just have them. let's break this down

this romulan guy, unclear if he was the one actually in charge at the khitomer massacre or not (i thought he looked familiar, i looked it up and he previously played a totally different romulan on tng lol), but this guy is running this fucking prison with seventy-three klingons completely at his mercy. yes, they ""asked"" to stay, but they WANTED to die, they ATTEMPTED to die, and they would have CHOSEN to die had the option been given to them, but they're doing this instead in order to keep from bringing consequences down on their families heads. so he has total power over them and he... "marries" one???

i am going to start discussing conception via rape please consider this your warning.

this is of course coming after tasha yar had a FUCKING BABY VIA RAPE in a romulan prison and then got killed for trying to escape. he "married" a klingon woman. ALL RIGHT

even if she thought she loved him and consented to everything SHE IS A PRISONERRR. SHE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE. SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE.

like, when worf kissed that girl and realized she was half romulan his revulsion should not have been from the fantasy racism but from realizing she is a rape baby. like, this whole sitch is horrifying

and it really brings into perspective too how lucky worf must have been...he was so young when khitomer happened and yet he's very in touch with his heritage, but something as simple as old klingon stories are considered dangerous by the romulan warden

AND HE IS A WARDEN. again: nobody is allowed to leave where they are. this isn't a peaceful group of equals, conscientious objectors who chose a different way of life. THEY ARE PRISONERS. they're not allowed to look at or even touch any of their old things. they have to find fun and entertainment with old weapons. klingon tai chi classes are NOT allowed

in fact, the REAL ethical dilemma is, is it right to try and force this half-romulan half-klingon girl out of her "home" when it is clear she is happy in here and will be reviled out there? i argue yes because her home IS A PRISON CAMP like girl if spock did it u can too but what do i know

it makes no sense also that these people would be choosing to procreate. if this prison camp is only marginally better than death, or worse than death in some ways but a necessary evil, why bring kids into it??? unless the romulans are the ones making the babies

god this dude even sat at the head of the table and had everyone bring his food to him and then was ready to execute worf for bringing klingon culture into and i repeat the KLINGON PRISON CAMP

anyway, this episode did pop off at a few points. it was cool to see worf help them get back in touch with their own culture and doubly cool to see him get "even" with his like...sort of enemies. ALSO fun to watch that little bootlicking klingon who was sucking that romulan guy's dick finally come to his senses and stand w/ worf

i also loved the part where worf was perfectly happy to die as a klingon rather than live as someone with dishonor...it felt so different from the episode where he tried to kill himself because this time he WAS being honorable and not cowardly. he would have had nowhere to go had he run and he would have been leaving those other klingons behind

i am disappointed though that after all that. worf's dad really was dead. also, how did that guy know where the camp was and why did he tell. ALSO also, how are the klingons gonna get by when they can't tell anyone what bloodline they come from...that's like your picture ID in the klingon world

the point is, as usual, tng almost had something really cool but couldn't get out of its own way and as a result dropped the fucking ball.

NEXT TIME: ds9's "move along home" and "the nagus."

[the-owl-tree]

since We're talking Crowfeather(?) can I like. ask. Why does his Super Edition get hailed for being So good and Fixing/explaining his angst?? as a Kid I was a huge Defender of him because of Quiet rages videos about him.

I'm gonna be nicies for this first bit and say that for a lot of people, i can see how a book about a shitty father trying to reconcile with his family resonated with them. This book also came out before Squirrelflight's Hope, which then showed the authors' massive fucking double standard between Crowfeather and Leafpool. So from that time period and perspective, I can totally see why people liked it.

But I fucking haaaattteeeedd it. I don't think the hamfisted attempts to make Crowfeather sympathetic or the way they shaved off any of Nightcloud or Breezepelt's edge to make them deserving of his forgiveness was a "good redemption" or what the fuck ever. But seeing as how all he had to do was angst about his dead gf or what the fuck ever and get endless sympathy was enough, I'm not surprised that a book about hoooow poor Crow is soooo scared at getting close to someone else made people think that absolved him of everything. Fuck's sake, even his deputy arc is embarassing. "Even though I refuse to show anyone else respect and I also keep wishing my son was dead, why is no one showing me respect??? I hate my bitch ex-wife" <- DEPUTY MATERIAL APPARENTLY. No he does not "earn" the position just because he stops wishing his son was dead, all he's done is shown how incompetent and immature he is.

I think it's a bad book and a lot of the hype around it will depend how you view him.

i actually did a live read of it, if you want my live thoughts on ct then you can see them under the tag #deer reads crowfeather's trial

[tumbleweedtech]

Forgiveness

There's something that's been bothering me, for a long while. Well over a year. I'll put it under a cut because it's quite long.

It's in the way people apologize, and what they expect to come from it. If you harm someone, either deliberately or by accident, you owe them an apology. I'm aware that within courts of law this has consequences. I'm not talking about that level of harm or responsibility. The social contract is, when you harm someone you apologize, and attempt to right the wrong done. I was raised in a heavily catholic family, in a christian-centered community. I am not religious anymore, but I'm aware this informs my experiences, so please note I'm leaving the floor open to anyone else who has experienced a culture who treats apologies differently. In a very christian viewpoint - apologies aren't the important part. The forgiveness is. They insist it makes you christ-like, to forgive those who have harmed you. It's what Christ did on the cross, right? They know not what they do. Your god will forgive you if you apologize (confess) and attempt to right your wrongs (repent). This, I feel, has seriously tainted how people raised in a christian culture view apologizes to each other. I was abused as a child. I have been told, many, many times to forgive. Forgive my abuser. Because that forgiveness makes you christ-like, right? My forgiveness matters. Not that my abusers ever apologized or even recognized the wrongs they did. But that doesn't matter. They even try to twist it. "Doesn't living with that anger twist your heart? Forgiveness is freeing! You don't have to carry it around!" Actually, no. It protects me. I have not and will not forgive them, even if they were sorry. It reminds me that I must never, ever go back. That I must treat people better than I was treated. But where am I going with this? In a Christian-centric perspective, an apology is assumed an absolution. You have apologized, therefore the other person not only forgives you, but your faults, your sins, your crime? Are wiped clean. As if you confessed to your god, apologizing to your friend for hurting their feelings, the harm you have caused has been erased. Christ has risen again, your friendship has been repaired. In a christian perspective, there is no harm that is irreparable or irredeemable. Christians Parents have forgiven their children's murderers. This is a perspective entirely alien and unfathomable to me. But in the eyes of their god, in their religion, they have done what is right and holy. Their relationship with their god is safe

But relationships with other people does not work that way. Your relationships with other people are not your relationship with your god. When you harm someone, and you apologize, you do not automatically get forgiveness. It's not assumed. Especially if it's a shitty fucking apology. I've seen some incredibly shitty apologies. Refusal to take any sort of responsibility, blaming their mental health, their variety of diagnosis, even blaming the person they've harmed for reacting to shitty behaviour.

It's entirely possible to apologize for only your part in a situation in which you have both done wrong. "I'm sorry for accusing you of X. I should not have assumed Y of you, and when I said Z I was out of line." The other person may have responded with hurtful or harmful things. Hell, they may have even started it. But your feelings, your reactions, your words, are all your own responsibility. I have friends with plenty of diagnosis. Bipolar disorder. RSD. ADHD. Autism. Depression. Anxiety. None of this has stopped them from being kind, thoughtful, caring people. It hasn't stopped them from checking in, from apologizing when accidentally causing harm. I also know people who use their diagnosis as a weapon. They have X, Y, Z diagnosis, that's why they behave like an asshole. They make being a selfish, self serving, and thoughtless asshole a part of their personality and insist that because of that you should just understand and accept that. And if, in the rare instance that type of person attempts to apologize, it's never a good one. It's always "Well, you made me mad." or "You upset/triggered/annoyed me". Don't get me wrong - triggers are big and valid and a whole other discussion - but it's a word that's thrown around sometimes as a shield to explain why someone is not responsible for being nasty to someone. I'm off in the weeds. The point I'm coming around to is that these people surround themselves with reasons why you cannot criticize their behaviour (to a reasonable degree, ofc) and then they apologize.

Which in a christian-centric society, they not only feel like should solve any interpersonal issues that came of the disagreement/argument/harm, but should absolve them. I've said absolution quite a few times. But what does it mean? It means that they believe that it removes any consideration from this in the past, or in the future. As far as they're concerned, it no longer ever happened, because they have been forgiven and it will not be brought up again, nor will it impact the relationship they have with the person they are apologizing to. This is not how relationships with people work. If you harm them, an apology will be considered a step towards repair. Changing your behaviour to not harm again is a big step in repairing the relationship and trust. If the person forgives you, it does not mean your behaviour will be forgotten. It means you're being given a chance to prove that you will be better. It does not mean that your behaviour will be forgotten and everything will time jump back to before you made a bad choice. And it does not mean you get to harm them again. Because if you keep behaving that way? Keep harming people in the same way over and over again? You're not actually apologizing. And if you keep the same behaviour repeatedly, you do not deserve forgiveness (or absolution), because it's proven that you don't mean it. You will just keep on going, over and over. And when that's the case? Well. People need to stay angry at you, to remind themselves that you do not mean your apologies. You just want the chance to harm them again.

[sheepskinnedgoat]

I guess it's greatly possible that I have a very... I don't know, skewed perspective about stuff like abuse and harm as a mentally ill person. People say stuff so broadly and I can't begin to describe how much seeing that stuff at my lowest points harmed me and made me worse. People are very good at framing things in ways that made me feel like they don't actually believe in people healing and doing better after making really huge mistakes. Because I made BIG ones and I regret them so fucking deeply. I am fighting with the concept of self-forgiveness because I've been taught that there's no retribution for shitty and abusive behavior.

I don't want to be so bold as to lay out what happened, but I guess I might as well. My wife is encouraging me and I've been wanting to talk about it, anyway.

Trigger warning for discussion of abuse, mental health, and suicide under cut.

Last year, when my mom started dying, I started declining very rapidly and severely. I don't think I've ever outright said this because of how I've been treated in the past for being open, but I have Bipolar I Disorder. I've seen doctors and therapists on an off over the last decade+ since my diagnosis. My struggle is a common one. I'm very typical of someone with extreme mood swings and psychosis. I most frequently experience dysphoric mania, which is where my psychosis typically rears its ugly head.

In these moments until last year, all of my shitty behavior mostly involved me expressing anger and frustration with wall hitting, throwing my things to break them, hurting myself, and degrading my wife. It was not always this way, but moving away from home and having an unforgiving job lead to me falling back off my medication. Over the last 3-4 years, I have become very terrible in my health and how I act when my brain overreacts to situations and stresses around me.

Then Mom got cancer.

I began having even more cycling, lots and lots of depression, increasing suicidal thoughts, and episodes. Bad episodes. One of the holidays I was meant to go see my mom, I had a serious meltdown because I was tired of going to see how much closer she was. It was hard seeing her dying. She was worse every time I made it out, and something minor had triggered another episode. I then locked myself in the bathroom and tried to kill myself.

My wife tried stopping me. I became physically violent and started saying really horrible things. This episode came to an end, and it seemed despite everything I had done very little physical damage to her by her own account. I do not remember much about what I actually did or said. It's like a faded dream I had once and only the outlines are left.

I had another episode I do not remember, triggered by seemingly nothing. She informed me later on I had hit her, and asked me why. I was unable to explain, because I didn't even know what she was referring to. I do now, but the overall details are gone.

Later on, not terribly long before she passed away, I tried to end things again. I recklessly drove to a graveyard on the back roads and began attempting to hurt myself. I started getting calls, my phone blowing up. I have some vague memories, but I am not sure if all of them are real. I do know I ignored my mom out of shame, but eventually answered my aunt. I think at the beginning I answered my wife and berated her before hanging up, but I'm not positive. I wanted to die more than anything else in the world. I was so angry. I don't even know why. My wife remembers how it unfolded, but ultimately none of it makes sense.

That was also the day my neighbor decided to pick a fight with me about my animals, which then snowballed in her repeatedly calling animal control, lol. Did not work out the way she wanted. She kept lying to them to get them out to see them, but they could never find the starving, tortured animals. What a fucking nightmare that was on top of everything.

My mom died, and I don't really remember how I felt or reacted or what I did during that time. It's difficult, and I think it's because I have been blocking it out as much as possible. Losing my mom was something I knew would be hard, but I deeply underestimated it.

Later on in the year, I did try killing myself again. Once again she tried stopping me, and even kicked in the door. It got more physically violent than the last time and I was more vicious and cruel.

Overall, I'm stuck with guilt and shame and self-hatred. Beyond these incidents, I lapsed repeatedly into despicable actions and behavior. I frequently feel out of control, but not everything I say to her is done in these extreme episodes where I'm trying to hurt myself. Rage is unfortunately a really major symptom for me, and it's activated by some of the dumbest shit. I feel like some things have become bad habits, and I'm constantly having to talk out things with my spouse because I cannot even imagine what it must be like to be on the receiving end of needless cruelty and vitriol.

I know what I have done is largely abusive and wrong. Things have been bad enough that I kept having long periods of not wanting help. All I have wanted is death, to not exist, to end what I'm feeling. Being angry is not fun. Being in pain sucks. Being sick is terrible. I am devastated by what I have done, but somehow my wife is holding strong and pushing me forward. Because of her, I managed to drag myself into getting therapy. I got lucky that someone in my local community is a therapist with the same disorder as me, and when she advertised openings I jumped on it, even though I didn't want to help myself.

Which is something key, that people bring up a lot online. People who don't want help are the worst, right? Irredeemable, it seems. I didn't want help. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to die. I still want to die, but I've found a burst of driving force within myself and, as of today, I finally have an appointment with a psychiatrist to seek medication management. I cannot get any traction otherwise. Therapy has been helpful and my therapist is amazing, but there's no stability. I default to self-hate, guilt, and suicidality. I default to violence, though generally verbal excepting those instances of psychosis.

I can't grasp what I keep getting told by my wife and my therapist about being accountable but forgiving myself. It seems false. Impossible. It doesn't feel like I should, that doing that or pointing to my broken brain is appropriate. I'm always terrified what people will think of me if they know the truth of my struggles and how much I have hurt the person closest to me. My only support, because I keep distancing myself further and further from people.

In all of this, she gained friends that used me as a stop-gap for getting to know specifically her. It caused some rocky turmoil in our relationship. I blame myself for her mistakes there, because maybe if I hadn't been acting like a piece of shit, she wouldn't have felt so lonely. And they found out that things got bad, but not any of the details about it because they never asked or gave her a chance to explain when she wasn't distressed. I fear them and what they think of me. I fear them going out into shared queer spaces and telling all the queers I'm slowly trying to get to know that I'm a horrible abuser that beat my wife and controls her. Because they're not wrong. I don't feel like they're wrong, but they're also responsible parties in their own shitty behavior, but who would hear me after they find out I'm a terrible person?

It's... I suppose a bit self-centered, this paranoia. She tells me I don't deserve this, and that they don't matter. I'm trying to believe her, because if nothing else matters she does, and her opinions do. She has to live with me. She's married to me.

So I am untreated bipolar. It's a fucking nightmare. I fight with my abusive and toxic tendencies, that I fight to not participate in. But fighting back my unstable reactions to things is a chore and I become fatigued very often. I don't know why she endures for me, but she does. I love her, as much as I can. Sometimes I am numb, but she says she knows I love her and it makes me cry.

People are complicated. I have not always been very kind or empathetic. I only recently learned that having a hard time with empathy during mixed episodes is pretty normal for bipolar. It's not always. It's another thing that sees extreme differences depending on how I'm feeling, and I sure do feel too much too often.

I am healing myself as best as I can. I am working to do better and be better even while my brain persists on convincing me I don't want help; that I should just self-destruct. I am a human. I wish more people could see that part about me even when I'm not being a very good or nice person. I will be better someday, but it would be a lot easier if it ever felt like everyone else could give me the grace to fuck up while sick and still have room to take that accountability without feeling evil for my actions.

I have been a victim. I have been an abuser. Someday, I hope I can just be healed.

[the-next-miss-american-trash]

Encanto: Abuela

Okay let's preface this by saying I'm all for the Abuela hate; i think it's funny, i love seeing other people rag on her character, i too have acted out and against abusive behavior of my own house. But even so it does sadden me a little because i know a lot of people who are put in the scenarios of the movie, who are The Abuela, and the way people act about a fictional character makes it disheartening that there's not a lot of empathy for when a well meant action leads to shitty behavior and then attempts to turn it around. So here's some perspective of Abuela's character as i see it.

You're having a relatively normal life, young adulthood-ish, and have a romantic encounter with a nice young lad. You have fun. You're going to spend the rest of your life with him, start a family with him- triplets, you're going to make a home.

And then your neighborhood is attacked. Strange men are burning houses, slaughtering people. You have no time. You run with your family, your friends, your neighbors. They're advancing. They catch you, and your kids are dead. Your life will end here.

Your husband pauses. Everyone will die if they get across the river. He says his last goodbyes. And he sacrifices his life to try to reason with then- and they kill him. The love of your life, a piece of your future, a piece of your home dies.

Our realism breaks a little as suddenly, in your gut wrenching grief, a mother fucking miracle happens. The earth rises, protecting you from your pursuers, and a new house is given to you. Your candle blessed, your children blessed, your people saved. You have been chosen. You are young. You are alone. You lost your love, your home, your safety, your comfort, your envisioned future. But you live. Your children are safe now. Everyone is looking to you. If your husband had to sacrifice his life to save his family, to save all, then these gifts are a sign.

With no guidance, no help, you do your best to raise your kids to be upstanding, caring and giving people. These gifts cannot, should not be used selfishly, not after the selfless act their father did. You and your family help out your new community as best you can. Your family is revered.

You live everyday with the guilt and the doubt that you are doing enough, that you are doing things right, that you don't deserve the home, the blessings, the praise, but you have to stay strong.

Over time, that thought process hardens, but things have gone alright. Your kids bear your grandchildren. They are also blessed with gifts. This is the new normal. But then one child does not get a gift. Of course your thoughts go immediately into a panic. Has the magic run out? The very thing keeping up your house, keeping your family safe? The very magic and memory of your long lost loved one. Will you lose your house again? All that trauma resurfacing, and now it's attached to someone tangible without your awareness, without your intention to. And it's only secured when your child, who can see into the future, predicts that child alongside the destruction of your home. You are going to fight for your life to make sure that doesn't happen.

You can't lose everything again. Not again.

The events of the movie happen. You're pissed, you're scared, you're lost and confused as to how you'll save your home. You lose it anyways. You realize your mistakes. You realize the pain you put your family through, that you put your granddaughter through. All over a house. But you still have your family. Your family is your home. They are what matter above all, as was the same sentiment your husband had. So you apologize to your granddaughter with the story of what happened, and why you were scared. You apologize for the pain you caused, knowing you could never make up for it.

And she forgives you. She's so much brighter than you could ever have been. She's given you the greatest gift of all: hope. If she could do that, after all you've done, then perhaps you could do so much more as well. So after all that, your family gets to keep their gifts, and aren't "punished" for your mistreatment. Only now, they can use and live their lives how they so choose. And you have a new appreciation for your family.

[prince-tulip]

Im so terrified. I dont want to get hurt. Its not even been a month and i am so fucking obsessed and invested and i definitely want to be, i know what i feel and do want but its like damn I got hurt so fucking devastatingly bad this year that literally killed me, the levels of despair i cannot feel again, i am not strong enough for that, i barely have made it back to reality and its like as soon as i get the hang of things, things get crazy again and its like everything is exactly how ive always wanted them to be right now and i couldn't be more happy cause i truly know what i feel and when things are at its best, god its so fucking perfect but i feel im not able to talk to anyone yet or be more open about stuff cause i feel like a secret, like ill get casted out again..like i worry i am getting kept in the dark so i dont see or experience something bad, like for example they dont have me on their social media at all and i feel weird and scared about asking or getting on there and getting triggered by something and that maybe im just being used for validation and as a rebound because im so forgiving and easy to talk to or something.. in return its causing me to not know what's really happening, am i what they want? Are they talking to anyone else? Do they think so highly of me like i do them? Do they recognize the way we move together and talk to eachother? Is it as meaningful to them as it is me? Its like i know would lie about where they were or what they wang and their true intentions before, so why wouldn't they lie again? But at the same time thats not fair, cause its like i coukd very well be accused of being shitty too and still actually not be doing anything shitty and its like man..i feel like ive been living a honest and decent life, i maybe do keep to myself a bit much but i just enjoy my company and also not feeling like i have to explain myself caused ik people often times feel they have a say in things when they do not..i dont think bad things are happening behind my back the last two weeks or so and things have been magical and passionate and full of conversations, synchronized behavior, mutual understanding, growth, literally alway being able to meet in the middle on something, the dynamics i adore, we are so different but so much alike and I love it with all my being and im continuesly betting on the good things but that first week and a half idk..things seemed really off at certain moments that maybe hinted at things but again i can get very paranoid and of course cant control someone's actiona..I just dont want to throw awayy boundaries in attempts to please and i feel ive done that already in a lot of ways but by simultaneously finding such new perspectives and found love that was always there just stuck and idk i guess the feeling of trust has become so hard this year. Ever since January and in between i felt very used and thown away and lied to because i was to a degree i guess and even if ive done wrong in the past and yeah did i royally do some stupid fucking idiot type shit but ik it doesn't justify getting hurt back and i had to really come to terms with that. I had let go of that crazy person in me that would stay up two days straight crying and obsessing over what was and what is and whats happening without me, while drunk or high out of my mind constantly and go through the loneliness, the guilt, the shame, the loss all on my own in a small room with literally no one to talk to and forcing myself to come as close to dying as possible and finally move on from everything aweful in my life ever and do my best to block out every single god aweful image or notion in my head that i would get, causing insecurities and paranoia that i didn't know i was capable of...im really trying to make sense of everything cause everything is so fucking touchy right now but still having to push through and communicate and understand and love with all of my heart and vice versa I think wins every time and i feel life has been showing me that

[sharkface]

Huuuuge spoilers under the cut for the entire game. Also it’s really long sorry I’m normal.

I’m only saying Turo here because I played Violet but I’m assuming that the fundamental role of Sada is not any different thus I consider this applicable to them both. BUT.

 I think a lot of people look at this situation from a very one-dimensional lens and since Arven is their little friend they are only willing to sympathize from his side. I get that. I feel it, even. A lot of people really, really seem to dislike that AI Turo has that moment of saying he loves Arven and is proud of him and want to attribute that to the robot developing its own love (one that Turo never had) for Arven through separation. I do not agree with this interpretation and I think it exists because it makes it a lot easier to dislike Turo if you believe he did not ever care about Arven. Pokemon has had a lot of directly abusive parents in its runtime and most have not tried to portray as complex a narrative as Scarlet/Violet have.

But one of them has!

Lusamine is a very divisive character. I personally do not like her, but a significant portion of people really liked the idea of her having a redemption- but for me, it was not handled well enough for me to buy into it.

While it is realistic that victims of child abuse will forgive their abusive parents and this does not excuse their actions even if it gives room for improvement, I don’t feel significant care was put into the aftermath with her and I do generally resent the redemption of Lusamine. Trying to have a character’s portrayal go from starkly, straightforwardly evil to sympathetic without having them ever earn that sympathy from the player will make an attempt at redemption feel less like a nuanced portrayal of reparation between the abusive parent and abused child and more like an out-of-universe excusing of child abuse. It is one of the few things I despise terribly about gen 7.

In contrast to Lusamine, the problem with Turo, more than us not knowing him, is that Arven does not know him.

Arven has not spoken to his father in years because his father is dead. He cannot make his way to him in Area Zero, the the robot has no capability to get to him. This is why the robot asks for YOUR help: He likely KNOWS what happened to Arven and knows that there is absolutely no way Arven OR you can get to him on your own.

You might think this leads up to me saying “Actually Turo was good and the robot was bad” but this is not the case to me at all.

You can find diary entries from Turo expressing his desire not just to go to the future, but to take his FAMILY there. This is, in my eyes, the single most important piece of Turo’s characterization. This is the motivation, the goal, THE crux of his every action. This is why it’s the Paradise Protection Protocol.

I do believe Turo neglected Arven directly before his death. With his limited information, Arven could only have viewed everything that came after Turo’s death as continuity of that neglect. Recontextualizing events will not change the effect they had on a person. But the reason Turo is a better character than Lusamine and more worthy of an in-narrative redemption (as in being viewed more favorably by the PLAYER, not as in an in-universe redemption ARC) is because you CAN understand what happened as a tragedy of circumstance rather than one of direct action.

People in fandom have a problem with seeing abuse from any perspective other than dichotomy of “victim” and “actively, intentionally malicious perpetrator.” Probably because usually this is how abuse is written! Three cheers for cheap drama and shitty writing. I’m sure this won’t affect anyone’s view of real world situations haha!

Here’s the thing: Turo is mentally ill. I don’t mean that as in being mentally ill makes you do bad things or become abusive nor do I mean it as in wow the pokemon company was so fucked up for making their villain mentally ill I mean it as in I do not think think this is a hero’s journey with a villain in it. Structurally, there is not an antagonist in this game, this story isn’t about prevailing over an evil, it is a tragedy of circumstance.

I have my own thoughts on how exactly Turo was ill, but I think the only thing that is textually relevant is that he had a child, him and that child were abandoned by his mother, and he became increasingly obsessed and frantic over this idea of “starting anew” in a “paradise” and eventually ceased caring what effect attaining this goal without destroying himself, his relationship with his son, and the environment of Paldea would have, and he lost his life for that. You don’t play a game where a person aims to destroy your world’s peace, where you the hero must pull the linchpin to stop all evil, you play a game where you walk in the shadow of a dead man whose only remaining family hates him out of a justified misunderstanding of his actions and intentions, one where you and the people he left behind have to clean up the latent, inevitable fallout of his selfish actions. He isn’t there to taunt you. Even his successor understands these desires and their consequences and seeks you out for help.

You do not play this game from the perspective of a father’s desperation to create a paradise for his family. You play this game from the perspective of someone whose friend’s father hasn’t spoken to him since he was still a child. It’s easy, and right, to dislike that person. But this is also a video game. They aren’t real people and there is a reason they were written this way and a reason you were directly exposed to these motivational details over everyone else. The only Turo you ever know is the AI.

AI Turo has never met Arven, and expresses that motivational core of love for him anyway. Even in a copy whose only function is to carry on the legacy of a man crazed over an impossible goal in pursuit of an impossible life, who has feelings and desires of his own but can never pursue them, that love is inextricable from his being. The AI is as much a person as Turo was- Maybe even more of Turo than Turo could have been. AI Turo and Arven live in the same shadow and both suffer for it, but that shadow was cast in part by the vastness of a man’s love for his son. Why do you think he’d want that work to continue after his death if it was for himself and himself alone?

It was always for Arven. All of it.

I have some thoughts on Arven and his parents I fear I simply must express

[gayspock]

i didnt intend to make a post for every ep its just occurring right now

okay so i'll keep this in in one poost soim not spamming a lot but

OKAY. just started the way we werent and im excited about this one. aeryn and pilot is my favourite dynamic BY FAR!!! :D

not 2 mention.... i also do like theyre still bringing up aeryn's background. bc, you know, they did all kinda like... not forget... but they didnt rlly all go through the whole "forgiveness" process fully, either..

and heres the thing. HERES why i was always nervous about aeryn in the beginning, as a character. redemption arcs... god, especially from a current perspective, in particular with respect to modern "fandom culture" (ack!) its like... obviouslyyyy, that whole journey (and i say that so vaguely, i know) in of itself is tenuous- it takes the right balance, and it takes care to really perfect it BUT also its just exacerbated by the recent trends and behaviours... and it makes me itch. sigh.

and im GLAD here, you know, that theyre bringing this up. that chiana herself said- so what did you think she was doing? and im glad. i really am glad theyre bringing it up. bc... she was a soldier in a fascist regime... and she did horrible fucking things. we are now going to ADDRESS that. and i think the mistake - or at least, not the mistake, but the way people interpet - with other characters im thinking of is like... sometimes we never see, or have the shitty things theyve done said explicitly. and its just sort of left... vaguely open to interpetation.

and its like. im literally not trying to bring trek up all the time but sorryy it keeps happening. but again like with freaking- garak, yeah? i dont recall, or if its always left ambiguous, but we dont get a LOT of detail on his role in the occupation but ehrm. he was a fucking agent in the obsidian order - when cardassia occupied bajor. when they attempted genocide, enforced labor camps and slavery and all the repugnant things that occured tangential to that (the comfort women..god). and its like... yeah no... you cant sugarcoat it yeah?

but some ppl- are so WEIRD about it, like try to not address it and just skirt past it when its like... bewildering. because thats part of his fucking character. but they like- again its sugarcoatingggg man, and its so fucking ODD that you'd do that or try to deny it or like. take it out of his character. like between the ways they characterise others - like, ive seen people for REAL fanonise kira to be some weird, anti-cardie bigot who'd say slurs at the poor garak when ... YOU REALISE? SHE WAS IN A LABOR CAMP, YEAH? LIKE- SHE WAS LITERALLY ENSLAVED, and hes not some incidental cardassian but . LITERALLY. WAS A VERY POWERFUL PERSON, HIGH UP IN THE GOVERNMENT. and yeah thatsfine- whatever, you can think whatever of his character- but its so weird when people twist it so that like... they minimise the shit he did, or refuse to really contextualise it.

and again thats no fault of the shows- but its an example of what i mean by like. absolutely bewildering reactions and AGAIN. i think thats a wider conversation- but i mean thats like... part of an ongoing culture right now wrt everything as a whole, but haha.letsnot get into that i'll have a 3am meltdown.

BUT LIKE. what im trying to say here. IM GLAD, HERE, WE LIKE.. WE ARE NOW GETTING THE OPPORTUNITY TO SIT THERE AND ADDRESS THE SHIT AERYN DID.

because like i also said its like...literally its like the whole fucking premise of her character. like garak's was a fundamental part of him its like. YEAH MAN. WE BETTER FUCKING EXPLORE IT.

and also like- i dont know. conversations of redemption/forgiveness- theyre all so messy and im not fucking unspoooling them in a prelude to a farscape thoughts in a tumblr post. LOL. but like- first of all. we have to address them properly if we're going to unpack them. and REALLY address them...

and second of all, you know- not to dredge up other shit... but kinda like. yknow. more generally... THIS HAS JSUTBEEN ON MY MIND LATELY. SORRY THIS IS ALL IN A FUCKING FARAFP0SJ[SGD Titsfine . whos reading this. hi. hello. anyways i dont know- you know its just been irritating me, lately. when you bring something up, something from the past, and someone's like "by GOD why cant you just FORGIVE MOVE ON" and its like respectfully.... forgive but dont forget you know lik.e..

no matter what you do after the fact, when you've done something- especially something fucking. wrong - you've done it forever and its like. i dont know im just frustrated. i think its mostly with respect to fucking messy sloppy ass discourse everywhere but its like. yep. you can do better and be better and it wont define-define you. but like here in aeryns case..... a pilot still fucking died. and her actions have horrible fucking consequences. and it isnt insane to bring that back up, or for her to continuously face appropriate consequences bc of that....

& its always so unfair to like... just tell victims 2 forget sth you know. and to never ever bring it up. when its like respectfully it SHOULD be brought up.... and wrt to whoever "did something wrong" (i say sooo vaguely bc the multitude of crap, man...) i feel like. becoming a better person SHOULD be coping with who you are and what you did rather than freaking burying it. and like- hell, bringing something up... it is not even always a fucking Attack on you as a person, bc its not always about you, but again. with respect to situations wherein ppl are hurt, and there are victims they have every right to express that hurt ......

AND ITS LIKE YES. SOMETIMES it can create a cycle of pain- but to hurt others, and then demand them to be okaywiththat and not give them the fucking time .. .... but god thats getting so far away from everything now but its nott at allll

BC ITS REAAAL HERE LIKEEE . fuck yeah man. all of them were fucking tortured horrifically by peacekeepers. they have a RIGHT to be upset.... & to have the fucking blessings to not have to forgive aeryn and to STEAM instead ....!!! & YAH. forgiveness and allthat- but like godd, here, it would nottttt be their fault at ALLLLL if they did not let aeryn off the hook for some of this shit... i mean that ! [puts my FOOT down] and SOOOOO hsould everyone else in this hip be allowed to steam at fucking half the crap thats occurred...

EVEN WHEN! aeryn HERSELF is unpacking the fucking. horrifying trauma of her own with respect to being a peacekeeper-of what she was forced to do... BC LIKE FOR SURE . SITUATIONSARE SO fucking messy and unfair and complicated and its horrible she went through that but she DID still choose and DID still actively do . terrible fucking things and those two can bethe same and she has to learn to unwind them both herself... AND OMG.........

also this is going 2 be so

ok

i said all that

actual more direct htought about the ep now: i like flashback eps but execution like this can be so clunky lol SORRYY Omg. meaan cruel harsh booooo. SORRY its just the cutting between? ITS FINE! its functional and its worth it for flashback stuff. but ough. sorry its just soooo much better when flashbacks are more organically woven into the script rather than like... characters in the show quite literally calling one up. LOL.

and G-

CRAIS SORRY CRAIS JUST REAPPEARED AGAIN I DIDNT EVEN TOUCH ON HIM UP ABOVE. BUT YEAH. this is also why i fucking wanted him to be off with aeryn in this season because hes such a good fucking parallel

AND THIS IS ALL ASSUMPTION. SORRY IM GOING SOO OFF TOPIC FROM THE EPISODE. heaven knows maybe hes a right lad by the end of the show. but i think- like i said.. such a good parallel. bc he and aeryn could so, so, so brilliantly mirror each other in terms of "redemption" arc, wherein aeryn grows and chooses to be a better person and he moves away from the peacekeepers but still is so terribly self-concerned rather than self-reflective andyehaANYWAYS. SORRY. BACK

HAND ON

HEY TUMBLR. END IT.

BACK TO THE EP AMYBE I

this is such a fucking, SORRYYY TONAL SHIFT but ben browder has the shatner problem where hes like so generic in the face hes both one guy averaged out over so many guys but also all those other guys at once

also god. crichtons little smize at "lovers". COME ON MAN. but i also- thats an angle i didnt expect actually.... whichdoes. yeah shit . thats a whole other fucking angle on this i guess and fc-

OKAY. PILOT AND AERYN CONFRONTATION AND LIKE FOR REAL THAT WHOLE... "ITS HARD FOR BOTH OF US" "IT WASNT ME ON THAT RECORDING" <- so. TRUE is the thing

ALSO THE PILOT FUCKING PUPPET IS SO GOODS RORY I HAVENT SAID IT IN EPISODESSS AND EPISODESSSSSS but it for real is the fucking emotion they manage with it. i cant imagine mannnn

alsonow again ir epeat what i saidlike. i thinkits horrible and i know pilot will forgive her and thats also fine. like i of course wouldnt like. WANT him to rejectthat like- i presume, by the end, he chooses to accept her despite this but god fucking hell like... AGAIN serioussss .... complicit in a bodily violation like that and trauma and ongoing constant pain PILTO. MY FUCKING. BELOVDED

I LVEO PILOT And aeryn... i lvoe EVERYBADY

and as i said i actually i want to also say. im not always a fan of like.... random love interests introduce.d one GREAT example would be alex from that one episode- like she was... utterly pointless. i get they wanted to make her a lover, to parallel what zhaan did, but it just really. eh. it was so nothing

but here its like.. the way her relationship with this peaceekeeper is in of itself. a whole OTHER moral issue- concerning his own, how he is complicit in all of this and abiding, but also criitica and not saying anything AS WELL AS HOW. he's a mirror to crichton asking aeryn to choose differently and YEAH like its bare minimum shit but itslike i love that there is more intention behind that choice than just. random freaking affair

ALSO OKAY SORYR BUTHELP

SAME.PILOT I WILL KILLUS ALL TO. FINE. SURE.

PILTO

SEE FUCKINGCHRIST ALIVE ..........

aeryn and pilot ... best fucking dynamicin this hsow. i'll kill you. i i#

"we've come a long way since then pilot and we've got a long way to go; take the journey with me" SIGTP I TNEWOWW [SCREAMING AND SBBING[

NOBODY LOOK AT ME. I'LL KILL YOU ALL.

OKAYITS SOOO ALTE NOW BUT LIKE GOD. GOD FOR REAL man like- again eveyrhting i said at the beginning wrt aeryn. LITERALLY. ITS IMPORTANT THAT WE FUCKING DO THIS, SWEAR DOWN MAN, bc only rhen can we appreciate the growht and OMG.. GODDDD

shut up...

THE WAY I WAS SOLUKEWARM ON EPS 1,2 AND 3 OF S2 BUT4 AND 5 .... SLAAAYYY!!!!!

okay i catnt wrap this up proper im going to bed its fine . w

[yackers]

Why Jerome Cheating Wasn't Out of Character and How It Actually Developed Him Further as a Person: an unproofread rant/essay by a bitch with too much time on her hands

okay first I just wanna talk about the circumstances round him cheating. Like he definitely could’ve made better choices and in no way am I saying he’s not to blame but he and Mara were very much broken up when he first started dating willow. Jerome was being a dick in the business competition, but it wasn’t exactly a break up forever kinda mistake. He apologised multiple times in varying degrees of big gestures, to which mara did not respond to or make any move to forgive him. Sure, a lot of this was to do with the sisterhood but it’s not like he knew that.

I think he only went for willow because not only did she help him with his schemes without question, she was also willing to take the punishment all in good fun. In no way were they right for each other but she messed around with him in the costume closet and had fun with her the way he never did too often with mara without being interrupted by mick. Mara then, a while after ignoring his various attempts came up to him and told him she’d forgiven him and they were now back together. He definitely should’ve just told her there and then that he had kissed willow, but he was already starting to question their relationship and honestly I still think it would’ve crushed her.

I think that Jerome only ever wanted to be with mara because he put her on a pedestal as some perfect unattainable girl. He pined over her for years before she showed interest. She was sweet to him and treated him as a human with feelings when the others often wouldn’t but I don’t think they were ever right for each other. They were cute in season 2 but although she helped him with his dad she constantly overstepped with him and poppy and always held a sense of righteousness over him like on donkey day. I think especially once they were in a relationship she expected him to be a different person for her in ways that would change who he was. He looks visibly uncomfortable with the nicknames and is constantly shown to be at her beck and call in a way that is less playful in comparison to season 3 Alfie and amber.

The whole trying to then get away with having two girlfriends whilst he makes up his mind on who he wants to date therefore makes perfect sense for his character as in truth he doesn’t actually wanna date either of them. Willow is fun but not serious and mara is serious but not fun. willow and him was only really ever a fling, as shown by how quickly she moves on. And Jerome is literally an asshole it would be unrealistic at this point in his development for him to handle the situation maturely and lay his feeling out to them because he barely knew what he was feeling and he is self identified sneaky. Are we forgetting that he used to manipulate Alfie for money, literally broke up mick and mara and consistently just makes the worst choices readily available to him. Yes he did gaslight willow and lied to mara but it’s nothing he hasn’t done before and was presently above doing again.

Joy being the one to find out first and see the comparison table is important to her relationship because there is all the worst parts about his character laid out on a platter for her. I think often mara completely avoided seeing how cruel and insensitive he can be at times and thought the others exaggerated it which is why she took the cheating so hard because she didn’t see it coming. But joy knows he’s flawed right from the start of their relationship, including his taunting of her near the beginning of the season. They also have a lot more shared experiences as shown during the ceremony scenes at the gatehouse. They’re both actively mad at each other but yet still come together against Alfie and Patricia and then the teachers. Mara never knew about anything Jerome went through in the first two seasons but joy did.

A really key part of his character development is when mara makes the cruel comment about his dad. I think if anything it shows how wrong they were for each other. Joy’s speech about being the bigger person is a turning point for him. Like mara, she wants him to be better but she says it from the perspective of someone who acknowledges that they too have done shitty things in the past. I think the ‘if you can bare it’ is important too, because she’s acknowledging to him that being a good person isn’t easy especially for people with upbringings and pasts like theirs. I think for the first time he actually feels understood. The ‘my lady’ scene confirms this.

Joy never requires him to be too mushy and vulnerable to her publicly. She’s playful and jokes around and anything sweet he says to her he says because he means it, not because it’s something he thinks she wants to hear. Their letdown washing date it so key to his growth like he’s able to joke around with her in a space where he can also freely talk about his dad and his insecurities about being allowed to scheme and be himself without having to be cold hearted because of it. He tells her she’s a good listener because he’s being heard without anyone looking out for poppy or his dad or the greater good over his own feelings.

One of the biggest signs he’s changed is when he knows that the play is a plot to embarrass him and takes it on the chin, admits he made a mistake and just hopes that it helps mara move on. And he just seems so much more into joy than he ever was anyone else, he even says it!! Unlike mara he isnt following her around like a puppy and doing as he’s told he gets distracted by her as she walks in the room and calls her names and is just!! I think the show is so good at writing couples that don’t have to be mushy and all over each other to show they care and mara is right they are kinda perfect for each other. They both have made mistakes in the past but they’ve grown up and there isn’t an unequal balance of a bad guy and a better girl who wants to fix him. He’s respectful of mara and backs away from joy around her without taunting and fighting back like season 1 or 2 Jerome definitely would’ve. He changed for the better organically on screen and I think his arc was done really well. You can tell by the way he he cries when he overhears about the revenge plot how much he really cared and he broke up with her to protect his own feeling but as soon as he realises that her feelings were genuine he tries to get her back. Not in flashy empty feeling gestures like before but by expressing how he feels.

Im not saying he didn’t develop a lot over the course of season one and two and that mara didn’t play a big part in that development but I think to truly be better he had to take a step back from pretending to be perfect to get the girl of his dreams and actually take the time to work on himself.

And in terms of the cheating/revenge plot line itself it had to be something big and time consuming this season that took up all the characters not involved in the mystery’s time whilst also giving them their own arcs and stories within it. sibuna were literally soulless for a portion of the season which could only work if they were distanced from their close friends outside of it like Jerome and joy because they were far too wrapped up in their own shit to notice. And they’re teenagers! Of course trying to date two girls at once and orchestrating the plot of John tucker must die is a dumb bad idea!! But so is literally every other thing they do in the show because they’re naive and half of them were left there by their parents to rot and have been kidnapped in the past of course they’re not rational!! I actually found the whole sideplot an entertaining break from the darker themes of the third season and throughout the whole season you can feel the characters are 17/18 instead of 15/16 like in the first season, there’s gonna be more romantic motivation to their actions.

In conclusion/ TLDR: just because a character makes mistakes doesn’t mean they lost their development or they were out of character. Interesting characters aren’t good people all of the time and thats what makes it entertaining.

[teozenin]

VENT POST!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: su1c1d3 attempt mentions, sh sc4rs mention and overall just a bunch of self loathing

yesterday my parents saw my sh scars . idk what to say to my mom . i can hardly look her in the eyes without wanting to cry . the disappointment i saw in her eyes is just , i can't put into words how i am feeling . not disappointment in me , but in herself as a mother . i hate that I'm making her worry , i hate that i make her feel like dirt and self loathe even more . want her to be happy in a universe where i dont exist .

what hurt the most is that she just asked to see them and then ignored the situation and started cracking jokes and acting ' normal ' . i know she's doing this as a coping mechanism and to lighten the mood , but it's so weird honestly and idk scream at me , cry , yell how im a disgrace , literally just be angry and take everything out on me and dont beat yourself up . she's a great parent and i want to make her happy by any means . i would do anything for her

im sorry im not the perfect kid she deserves . im sorry i will never be good enough for her . im sorry i took her and my dad for granted . im sorry she missed most of my teenage life . im sorry for every time i made her cry and couldn't be there to comfort her best i could . im sorry for unintentionally snapping at her when she didn't do anything wrong . im sorry for crying in front of her . im sorry for making her take me to see a therapist when i clearly don't need one . im sorry for not being able to open up to her . im sorry she had to put up with so much shit and abuse for 20+ years from her in - laws . she said im the only happiness in her life and it hurts so much seeing her in pain because of me . i made her waste 18 years of her life .

her body should've terminated the pregnancy with me . you know what they say , 3rd one's the charm . i wish that my su1c1de attempts succeeded . i probably should've just cut deeper till i hit a vein or just sl1t my throat insted or OD -ed until my liver or anything else popped in me .

i despise myself so much for all the shit I've done to her. what hurts more is the she just accepts it and forgives me everytime. i don't deserve her at all, i don't deserve anything. sometimes i wish she would just take everything out on me, and beat me. that's what i deserve.

im a piece of garbage . i don't have anything going on , there's literally nothing out there for me . i barely passed this year , i suck ass at everything . im trying my best but it still isn't enough .

i absolutely hate my classmates so much. everyone in my class never heard of empathy and respect.they're 18 and still act like middle schoolers . those stuck up fuckers act look , smile and speak to me as if im the stupidest person to ever exist and that gives them the right to treat me like im a scum. if i could i would sew their mouths in the shit eating grin they give me so they could live with it forever . i hate them so much . i hope they only have part of the worst things in this world and see how i feel .

i didn't expect highschool to be this bad . i really didn't . maybe it doesn't seem that bad from an outside perspective , but for me it is . i think im breaking down and can't go on . no one here cares about me except for two people . their group of friends probably talk and are nice to me out of politeness .

i hate myself so much but sometimes i act like i am better than everyone. im such a pathetic loser , i don't have any friends.

im trying to please everyone , i let them step all over me and make shitty jokes about me . i tell such jokes just to seem like a lighthearted person in hope that they will accept me in their group. yes , it hurts a lot when i see it amuses them , but i just shut up and laugh with them to not start crying . i just want people to genuinely like and enjoy my company

i think people's lives would be so much better if they've never met me

[onlyplatonicirl]

This has been something that’s been on my mind for a while now, so I thought I would write it down and explain my thinking process.

This has nothing to do with the drama I’m in or anything, it’s about the internet as a whole.

The majority of the internet doesn’t understand the difference between these two terms, especially those who try and cancel others. Whether it’s a celebrity who had bad behavior exposed or someone in your friend group, it’s REALLY important to know the difference. So let’s talk about the difference between

EXPLANATIONS and EXCUSES

Let me give an example:

Let’s say you’ve been having an awful time lately. Everything’s been going wrong, and your nerves are completely shot. Your mental health has been declining, and you are starting to become isolated. Someone tries to confront you about it, and you start to scream at them. Maybe you’re even rude to them, or say something that hurts them.

Later on, you realize that you should probably talk to the person you hurt. You find them and sit down with them.

to say an EXCUSE would be to say: “My mental health has been bad lately, so you can’t really fault me for the way I was behaving.”

this is absolutely not ok. When someone tries to give an excuse, they are basically saying that they shouldn’t be held accountable, and that it is not their fault. They may feel sorry that they hurt you, but they will continue the narrative that whatever happened was in no way on them. This is a really shitty way to confront yourself when under fire or when wanting to say sorry, and it’s a big reason why a lot of YouTuber apologies fail. Even if they truly know what happened was wrong, they will deny that they had any fault.

to say an EXPLANATION would be to say: “I’m really sorry for the way I treated you, it wasn’t fair of me to do so. My mental health has been really bad lately, and you caught me at a breaking point, and I couldn’t control my emotions. I should have recognized where those emotions would lead, and I should have found a different way to channel my feelings instead of hurting you.”

Some of you might say “oh well this is still an excuse because so-and-so just brought up their mental health again”, and that’s where your wrong. In the context of this discussion, it is used as an explanation. The person is not blaming their behavior on their mental health, they are offering context to why they reacted the way they did, but are still putting the fault on themselves.

Why is this important?

Because we’re all humans. We all have moments that we are not proud of. We all have flaws and we all say things that we regret, things that keep us up at night and make our stomachs turn.

And what we need to recognize, is that EVERYONE is a human. You cannot write someone off as someone malicious for a flaw or something that was said in the moment that shows bad taste. This is how cancel culture operates, and I’d argue that with the extremely quick leap to conclusions that people take upon hearing something about someone’s poor behavior, they only make the situation worse. 

When we are put on the spot and need to explain ourselves, especially those who are in the public eye, it is very important to explain yourself. As a human, you have every right to defend yourself and offer insight as to what happened from your perspective.

Explanations can help you justify yourself and demonstrate that your actions were the kind of things that any other person would do. If someone’s confronted for getting physical, they have the right to say that the person was making them scared and invading their space past the point of comfort. It does NOT excuse the behavior, but it gives the listener a chance to understand that the person that is under fire didn’t just walk up to a random civilian and clock him in the nose. There is always context to these sort of issues.

I know I’ve been talking for a while now, and you probably understand my point by now. But there is one last thing I would like to address.

It is also your right as a human to not forgive. You should always do a careful assessment before you do this, but if don’t want to accept their apology you don’t have to. You have the right to cut the person who hurt you out of your life and never speak to them again, as long as you live (Although in many cases this would be a really dick move if you know they are struggling and truly sorry.) If a content creator on the internet apologies for certain shitty actions, and you don’t feel like accepting the apology, you don’t have to. You can like and dislike whoever you chose, it is your right.

BUT

This DOES NOT mean that you have a right to spam someone, to stalk/harass them, to doxx them, to constantly bring up past drama/mistakes that they are trying to move on from, to spread exaggerated falsehoods in an attempt to “cancel” them, to get back at them by smearing their name in the mud or exposing private messages all over the internet. This behavior is unacceptable. 

You make think you are being a hero and standing up to bad people, but you may only be making everything worse. (This obviously does not go for nazis, homophobes, and other ignorant hatred-based opinions. This goes for people who you can tell are not based in hate or mal-intent.)

Instead, just move on with your life, block them if you want. You are free to give your opinion on why you don’t agree with them, but it is beyond disrespectful to call people disgusting, awful, evil, or manipulative when they are not showing outright and blatant behaviors of this.

So in conclusion, or tl;dr:

Excuses are blaming your actions on something else. Explanations are owning up to your actions but providing context on what your mindset was and what made you to what you did. When someone is offering an explanation, you should always listen, but you are free to dislike them if you still wish. But this does not give a right to treat them badly.

Thanks for reading. I kinda popped off lol.

[whattheheehaw]

Hi! I’m sorry you’re getting shitty anons about this and you’re probably sick of it so I apologise for asking this but I’m genuinely curious what made you start actively disliking zutara? Like, considering how much excellent and insightful content/meta you yourself used to make/write? I get that interests change over time and you’re totally valid!! the anons sending you hate over it are really dumb, but if you’d be ok with sharing, I’d be really interested in hearing why you’ve done almost a complete 180 on the ship? Was is just burnout/end of a hyper-obsession? Or was it some of us in the rest of the fandom that turned you off? Or was it even something about the ship/characters themselves that you changed your mind about? xx

In short, it was a combination of burnout, dissatisfaction with fandom, and disappointment in myself that caused my disinterest for Zvtara.

I got asks similar to this one a couple of times before, but I never gave a comprehensive answer, mainly because I didn't know how to articulate my reasons why I don't like it anymore. But now that I've been out of ZK fandom for a month and have had some time to reflect, I think I can give a much more thorough response. Beware, this is long and I heavily critique the Zvtara fandom, so if you're a ZK shipper, keep reading at your own risk.

My first minor annoyance with Zvtara is that the fandom has a tendency to idolize certain fics and creators. And while there’s certainly nothing inherently wrong about that, I feel like the Zvtara fandom does it to such an extent that it influences the type of content that content creators make in order to get recognition. And to illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about one of the most famous Zvtara fics of all time: Once Around The Sun by eleventy7.

Don’t get me wrong, I love OATS. I think it’s a great fanfic and I think the author devoted a lot of time and effort to make it such an excellent fic. The plot, the development of the characters and their relationships to one other, and the messages about family and love were all brilliantly written. I mean, there is a reason why it’s regarded as the “Zvtara Bible”. This one fanfic had such a profound impact upon the ZK fandom, and I think the biggest impact that came from it is the dramatic influx of post-war Zvtara AU fanfiction. 

Because so many people kept reading OATS and recommending it to others, I think there was an overall interest in ZK fics that take place in a post-war setting. And I think that all of the high praise towards OATS made more fic writers start to write post-war fanfics because of this demand for post-war AU.* I normally wouldn't complain about it because more content is more content, but in my opinion, 99% of ZK post-war fics are the same fic but in different fonts.

Like, there's at least 3 of these elements in every ZK post-war fanfic:

Ambassador Katara

An assassination attempt (usually on Zuko's life)

A healing scene between Zuko and Katara (usually Katara heals Zuko)

Aang and/or Mai is pushed to the side or vilified to some extent in order to make ZK happen

A private journey between Zuko and Katara to facilitate #6

S L O W B U R N (that's not really slowburn and more like "I love you and I very much want to be vocal about my feelings but #7 is in this fic" but the love story takes up like 30 chapters so I guess it's a slowburn?)

Zuko's advisers don't want him to get married to Katara because ✨racism✨

Ursa is found

Azula is in the fic because a) she's going to get a healing arc ft. Zuko and Katara and thereby helps them get together or b) she's the villain and thereby helps them get together

ZK wedding happens in the FN

After reading multiple post-war fics back to back, I could tell that the format was pretty much the same across the board, which isn't very interesting for me to read. My only other fic options in the Zvtara tag on AO3 are canon divergence fics which almost always take place during The Crossroads of Destiny or after The Southern Raiders. And to some extent, those stories are pretty much the same too. There's nothing really new or creative going on in the ZK fandom fic-wise, and because of that, my interest in ZK fandom started to dwindle.

My second issue with Zvtara is that it's a very old ship from a very old show. Because there's been 10+ years since the end of A:TLA, every nuanced point about shipping and the show itself have been talked to death.** There's just nothing new to say. It's the same arguments being rehashed over and over again in the tag because there's no other interpretation one can come up with.

For example, there's so many people who talk about why Zvtara as depicted in The Southern Raiders is not toxic and that's great and all, but I (and most likely many others) have read those same points about five times already. And for some reason, each time this happens, people act like someone just discovered the lost city of Atlantis when they bring up their new-but-not-new argument in defense of Zvtara. Honestly, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not exempt from being part of the group of people that reiterate old arguments. I've done it with one of my posts about The Southern Raiders and I've done it again with my Zutara/Omashu parallels post.

There's no new content to really dissect and analyze (especially considering Zuko and Katara are rarely in the same panel in any of the post-war comics), and because of this, people are just restating points that someone else made several years ago.*** And even if someone did have a different interpretation of an episode, their ideas would most likely be shut down because for the past several years, the same interpretation has been recycled through the fandom repeatedly and people are resistant to new perspectives.

This brings me to the third thing that I dislike about Zvtara: the insistence that there can only be one way to interpret The Southern Raiders. For the longest time, I've read take after take that said if Katara decided to kill Yon Rha, it would be ok because that's her grief to deal with and if she thinks that's the best way to mete out justice, then good for her. And again, I'm ashamed to say that I perpetuated that idea in a few of my own posts. I have always thought that "Katara killing Yon Rha is ok" is just a bad take in general, but I didn't want to vocalize that opinion when so many people—so many of the nice mutuals that I made—all shared that same opinion. Taking down a popular opinion of your own ship is completely different from taking down a popular opinion of a ship that you dislike. The Zvtara fandom is the first fandom that I was actually active in and I wanted to fit in so badly with everyone else that I just parroted whatever other people said, even if I didn't agree with those sentiments.

This leads me to my final reason why I don't want to be a part of ZK fandom anymore. I think I established myself as a "meta" person pretty early on and because of that, I constantly felt pressured to come up with new takes on the ship. And when people started flooding my ask box with stuff like "Can you write a meta about your thoughts on the idea that 'Zuko only took Katara on that field trip in TSR because he wanted her to forgive him'?" and "What are your thoughts about antis saying Zuko and Katara are toxic because of TSR?", I realized that I don't need to come up with new takes. People just want me to paraphrase something that 10 other people said about the same exact topic, because if I said what I actually thought about the subject (i.e. there is some truth in what antis say about TSR and it's not as much of a "Zvtara episode" that most people make it out to be), I'd probably get ZK shippers in the replies telling me that I'm wrong because x, y, and z or "you shouldn't tag this as Zvtara".

And that was pretty much how my love for ZK turned into disinterest. I was and still am disappointed that I didn't stick to my personal opinions. For as much as I talk about herd mentality on Twitter, I certainly don't practice what I preach. In all honesty, the only reason why I held on so long to ZK fandom was because I had so many nice mutuals there and we all shared this collective distaste for antis. I think I started to become more anti-Zvkka and anti-Kataang than pro-Zvtara, which isn't what I wanted to do when I made this Tumblr blog.

The thing that made me joke about becoming anti-Zvtara was the fact that some ZK shippers just like to send shitty anons to people whom they've reblogged countless different metas from. Sending shitty anons to people in the first place is wrong, but sending them to people who tagged their posts correctly and did nothing wrong is just disgusting.

*I'm not a fic writer and can't speak for fic writers, but it definitely feels like a lot of ZK fic authors are pushing themselves to write the next OATS, and by doing so, they are proliferating the tag with post-war fics that have very similar aspects to OATS.

**I think that as more people point out the same nuanced points about Zvtara, it diminishes the actual significance of those points. Like, it's hard to explain but the more people talk about the subtleties of the ship, the more those parts become glaringly obvious and I become numb to their actual impact on the characters and the show.

***At this point, if someone wanted to make a new argument about Zvtara, I think they would have to look very closely at every little detail in every single one of their scenes together to find a crumb of new meta material. And speaking from experience, it's not very fun trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whenever I post a "meta" like that, I feel like I'm reaching to make a point that doesn't exist.

[papirlife]

Chipin’ In

Okay so I’ve had minimal exposure to this game from the start, and I only just finished the main quest line enough to get to Chipin In and I am SPEECHLESS. So please find my interpretation of chipin in from my V’s perspective. But feel free to comment because honestly I think it could really apply to any V’s out there and I like analyzing stuff. Fair warning this is LONG, you have been warned.

So in my canon game, by this point V and Johnny have worked together enough to build up a strong sense of camaraderie. While V never truly hated Johnny, even if they were wary of him at the start, what with their rough introduction, by this point, V’s started to tentatively trust him, and even rely on him in some situations. They’ve started to feel comfortable in his presence, and been more open with their thoughts, ideas, emotions because despite sharing a brain, they’ve still kept their guard up as best they can.

My V ( Vendetta) is a very distant person, they like keeping to themselves, they don’t like to drink because they hate being out of their senses, the only time they willingly touched alcohol was at Jackie’s funeral, as a way to honour him and pay their respects. Other than indulging in the occasional smoke, to settle their nerves and get Johnny to stop gripping so much they’re very reserved, solitary and not at all interested in such things.

So to have enough trust in Johnny after they realized he kept them safe when they blacked out and when he gave them his tags to allow him to take this step and settle his past once and for all, only for him to go and completely throw in their face sent them reeling.

They were scared outta their mind when they woke up in the motel room. V didn’t know where they were, the relic was acting up, they were half dressed, and their brain felt like it was gonna vibrate out of their skull. The only familiar thing they saw was Rogue, and that wasn’t really helpful because at this point they weren’t terribly fond of her. They respected her, and admired her skills but they ABSOLUTELY DID NOT wanna wake up in a shitty room with her looming over them.

When the pieces start falling together and the events of last night start coming back to them, V is just numb, and their not sure if it’s because of their emotions or if it’s because of the remains of whatever the hell Johnny swallowed the night prior. Either way when he makes an appearance V just wants him GONE, he’s the last person they wanna see. During their conversation in the motel, he’s shocked that they didn’t trust him still, and V is just...not having it because their trust in him before this wasn’t solid, giving him control had been as much of test for him as it was for them, and he blew it by violating their faith in him, lying to them not once but again and again and then violating their body despite knowing their reservations. And the fact, that he was being a prick when they woke, making it out to seem that THEY were the one’s overreacting, was just icing on the cake.

After the brief conversational the motel, V just gives him the silent treatment, they ignore him, they don’t acknowledge him, don’t turn in his direction if he shows up, they’re just on autopilot and the only thing they want is to go home.

V was FURIOUS; they were hurt, upset, frustrated, but they were also angry at themselves for trusting him. They get home, and just break down because they’re overwhelmed, the last few weeks have been rough and this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back and they feel like an idiot for it all. To top it off, they also have to acknowledge that they we’re starting to feel something FOR Johnny; not love, at least not yet, but that’s likely where it was headed and it just makes everything so much worse because V had tried to ignore those emotions up until now, and they had a suspicion that Johnny has as well but this episode brought everything to the surface and made them face it head on.

The best part is Johnny has a front row seat to all of this, and when V breaks, down he really starts to feel like shit too because it’s the first time in his life that he gets to the experience the emotion behind all the pain he caused not just to V but to everyone who dared to care about him, who tried to get through to him. And he hates it.

Eventually V, starts to become a little more clear headed, and then they start thinking and that’s when the doubts set in. They start doubting everything between them and Johnny, each interaction and conversation, every word he spoke to them at Pistis Sophia, the dog tags he gave them as a show his trust, his potential sacrifice, his regard for them and their safety, the friendship and sense of camaraderie they had built up together; all of it gets thrown out the window because now the the only thing V can think is “how much of it was a lie? How much has he manipulated me into helping him, liking him, agreeing with him? How much, if any of it was true?”

Because, in their mind, had he really cared about them, he would have been honest, upfront or he wouldn’t have done something like this in the first place regardless of wether it was intentional or not.

Meanwhile, Johnny’s freaking out, V’s not holding anything back, they’re letting him read their thoughts loud and clear because right now they could care less about anything he has to say to them and Johnny is freaking the fuck out because damn it, this isn’t what he wanted, this isn’t how it was supposed to go, that promise, the tags it was all true, and it’s all he can give them because he’s got nothing else to show them that he does care.

It’s when V gets up off the floor, and locks the tags away in a safe in their armory, that the panic sets in and Johnny is just going like fuckfuckfuckfuck.

When Rogue calls, after a whole day of not speaking to him or really anyone for that matter, Johnny fully expects V to call off the hunt on Smasher, and he knows that Rogue won’t go after him alone. But to his shock, V agrees and heads down to the Afterlife, to work out the details because they made him a promise and unlike him they inteended to keep it. And Johnny hopes to god that maybe yesterday was just a fluke, maybe they can just forget the whole thing, never talk about it again and just be normal.

But he knows in the back of his mind that that’s not gonna happen because while V is still keeping their end of the bargain, he can still feel how hurt they are because of him and this is just further confirmed because when Rogue’s presents them with the jacket, V thanks her, but asks if they can just leave it in the trunk for now. They continue to ignore him, and just try and get through the night as quickly as possible.

They’re trying to numb their emotions, numb the hurt. But it comes to a head during the confrontation with Grayson because V can’t ignore how they feel, they can’t pretend that they don’t care about Johnny, that they don’t care about his life, his mistakes, his past. That they don’t care and about what happened to him, or what will happen to him depending on how all this pans out. Which is why V gets defensive when Grayson starts talking crap, starts stalling or making a mockery of Johnny’s legacy.

And this is what kinda prompts Johnny to make an attempt to fix his mess, because up until now he fpthought that V likely hated him for what he’d done. But seeing them getting protective, defending him, gives him a little hope that maybe, just maybe he can salvage this.

When V gets into the Porsche and heads to the Oil Fields, when they hear the shear amount of pain and disappointment and remorse in Johnny’s, they mark his place in the field, and decide that while yes they’re hurt, they don’t hate him, they doubt they could ever hate him.

Some part of Johnny still hopes that he didn’t colossally fuck up, which is why he tentatively says that their friendship is the one thing he hasn’t managed to ruin but he knows he’s put a permanent dent in their relationship, which is why I think that if you choose not to confront him he thinks you’re being insincere, because throughout the whole quest, from every interaction they have together, you can tell that V is upset because of what happened, and he knows because they share an intimacy that could never hide this fact from him so if you suggest otherwise it feels like you’re just avoiding the elephant in the room.

But he recognizes his mistake after V points it out, he understands that he did them wrong, that he had no right to use them, use their body the way he did, and the dealbreaker here is that he recognizes it and he apologizes and asks them for a second chance. And V truly forgives him, because the apology in and of itself is a miracle, because the old Johnny would never even think to apologize, just let the wound sit and fester and ignore the emotional trauma that came with it. But this Johnny, the one here and now, has grown and he wants to set things right, with Rogue, with Kerry and especially with V. And V sees this, sees the remorse, hears his apology, and decides that yes, this Johnny deserves a second chance. And in my canon, this is a turning point in their relationship, and it’s where they start to develop something like love for each other, even if they don’t t realize it just yet.

[halfpint55]

A Defence of Kataang with regards to how they are portrayed in TLoK (it’s long but there’s headcanons at the end)

Note: This is not about shipping wars. This is a safe zone. This is not about Zutara vs Kataang. This is me defending Kataang and the characters themselves...from the writers. 

I initially wrote this as a response to a post that got me heated. My reblog just made it too long so here it is as its own post. 

Now this post ripped apart Kataang as a couple but more than that said some stuff about Aang himself that hurt my heart. I didn’t really want to pick on this post but its condemning of Kataang was based almost entirely in what we know of them as parents in TLoK and honestly it’s that lil nugget of canon that I take issue with. It has bothered me from the get go because it doesn’t make sense from a writing and story perspective, and it’s been pissing me off since I watched it.

TL;DR nice and early bc this post is gonna be a long one:

This particular condemnation of Kataang rests almost entirely on the SHITTY way they were portrayed as parents by the writers of LoK, and in all honesty, on this particular topic, canon should be ignored.

Overall Kataang parenting is of my biggest gripes with LoK because in terms of writing it’s totally incongruous - it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t align, and it makes zero sense for what we know of those characters, and I don’t know if I can ever forgive the showrunners for allowing it to be written it into canon.

I will also preface this by saying I like LoK - love it. I had a scroll through the comments and reblogs on this post, and a lot of the hate towards this portrayal of Kataang ended up being blamed on the “terrible writing of LoK” which is not where I stand at all. That being said I am so angry at the writers for this one.

The other portion of the concurring comments that were very hateful towards Kataang came from Zutara shippers and honestly for me, although I do ship Kataang, this not a just a Kataang issue. I’m of the belief that Zutara would’ve just as easily been written to have similar issues due to very similar dynamics - Zutara also would have been two powerful benders from very different cultures, and with Zuko/Aang (whoever you ship w her) having a massively important global leadership role that is embedded in who they are, and therefore impossible to ignore as a factor in their relationship.

Now let me be clear, my desire to reject canon on this front is by no means me wanting to believe the best of my faves, and not wanting to hear a word against Aang. It’s not even necessarily a defence of Kataang bc I ship it that hard (I mean I do but I can set that aside for the sake of argument if that’s what you need from me here). 

The first, and main issue people have with Aang/Kataang in Korra, is the first point of the original post:

So why in hell would [Katara] be okay with Aang ignoring TWO of their children’s complete existence once he found out they had an airbending son?

And I agree with the post on this front; Katara would not have allowed her children to each be treated differently by their father. I had the same initial thought when watching LoK, and it’s the reason I hate and want to ignore the canon of LoK so badly. 

As much as it hurts to think of, we have to accept that Aang wouldn’t have been able to stop his preferential treatment for Tenzin from bleeding through into his parenting just out of a desperate desire to save his culture (which is absolutely understandable - doesn’t make it okay, but it’s understandable; Aang suffered an incredible loss, a massive cultural trauma which he alone carries the burden of). So of course he wasn’t able to hide how excited he was, and forgot to be mindful of his attitude and behaviour towards Kya and Bumi. So this aspect of canon Kataang? Yeah, I’m with it. So far so good. EXCEPT the most unrealistic element of canon is now that Katara would let him. I simply do not believe for a second that Katara would’ve allowed Aang to be the kind of parent LoK painted him to be.

However, I do not think it would’ve been a point of contention between the two of them! Katara would pull him aside, Katara would gently (but firmly) point out what Aang mightn’t be able to see for himself - he’s focusing too hard on Tenzin.

And Aang would listen.

All throughout A;tLA the two of them often help the other sort through their stuff. Aang has a great track record of being receptive to Katara’s advice and help (calming him down when discovering Monk Gyatso’s body, The Desert when he Appa is stolen, Serpent’s Pass when he’s bottling his feelings about Appa being missing). He’s also just so receptive to others’ ideas - he just goes with it and trusts in his friends (think of his trust in Katara’s plan to rescue Haru, his trust in staying behind with Sokka in the library to get the eclipse info). Aang’s humility is one of the most incredible things about him and it’s at the core of who he is. He would absolutely be able to hear Katara telling him he’s focusing too hard on one child - he would be open, and he’d listen.

So to me now canon just does not make sense at all. it does not align with their established character traits. And yes, people change as they get older and grow into adulthood but honestly, the elements of their respective personalities that we’re talking about here are pretty core elements of who these two people are.

Katara has always been fiercely protective of those she loves, strongwilled, stubborn, and ready to (vocally or physically) fight for what she believes is right and that wouldn’t disappear as she gets older. She wouldn’t let Aang’s preferrential treatment slide.

Aang has always been, and chose to be despite his loss, an optimistic, kind, believe in the best of humanity kind of person. He’s open to all points of view, he’s a good listener, he always tries his absolute best to find solutions that are good for everyone. And again his humility, his willingness to love, is who he is.  He believes all humans (including fkn OZAI) and all life are sacred, he believes in the absolute right to life. The kid is a vegetarian for crying out loud.

Now the parts of the take in the post that hurt my heart to read about what OP thinks of Aang:

“Aang never made an attempt to establish anything resembling a real familial unit with Katara, basically just stayed around until she popped out an Airbender [...] she was treated like some trophy wife to give birth to airbenders and that’s it!”

I wasn’t going to address this in this post until I read the comments in the notes, because people seem to agree. They share the sentiment that Katara was reduced to “just a love interest” by the two ending up together.

However I do very much take issue w the notion that Aang “basically just stayed around until she popped out an Airbender” (and honestly that entire paragraph - we don’t actually know that Aang didn’t make an effort to establish a family unit). As much as the LoK writers fucked up in their portrayal of Kataang as parents, this is a much harsher judgement of Aang’s character as a husband and father than anything implied by Aang and Katara’s children. I just don’t buy that Aang would view Katara (or anyone he married, even if you don’t ship Kataang) as a trophy wife, whose only role is to have airbender children. He never has viewed her that way - he has always looked at her like she’s the sun, and the most important person to him after she pulled him out of the iceburg. He loves her the most of anyone on the planet. It does not align with his character, his values or beliefs that he’d think of her (or any partner) that way. He is so besotted with Katara for who she is it HURT me to read that part of your take. Aang simply would never. Look at how he looks at her! 

What’s more is the unwavering respect and deference he shows Katara as his waterbending master - he recognises and loves her as the whole, complete, three dimensional, TALENTED POWERFUL INCREDIBLE WOMAN that she is. She is NEVER “just” a love interest for Aang. (But ALSO, do we respect Suki any less for being Sokka’s obvious love interest??? No. suki is written to be so badass that Sokka is HER love interest and I think Katara has equally badass energy but I digress).

Moving on!

OP made an excellent point that there would’ve been culturally different values between the two but I don’t think it would’ve been family that was the clashing point. Yes the airbenders value spirituality and enlightenment. But they lived together in massive communities! They supported and raised one another. Their community and culture was strong, and they were bonded in their spirituality! They value love, as well as enlightenment, peace, and the lives of all.

Now, again the points they made about the cultural divides within the Kataang family unit are valid, but also again I dislike how they chose to portray this in LoK. It would definitely be a struggle they faced as a couple. However I think they really missed an opportunity here with where they took it. Because they do at one point in the comics have Katara bring up the fact that their family will be a blend of two cultures, and she brings it up because Aang is trying so hard to bring balance back to the world by means of seperation.

They’ve known from the get go of being a couple that they’re going to have to navigate being a culturally blended family unit.

So I find it so shitty that they wrote it so that Kya got to learn the waterbending culture, Tenzin got Air and bumi got…nothing? It’s dangerously close to the way Disney does the “the girls are carbon copies of mum, and the boys are carbon copies of dad” thing (think Lady and the Tramp). It’s lazy. Especially when we had that “separation is an illusion” episode, AND things like Zuko learning different nation’s styles and applying them to his firebending, and Sokka learning an element of strategy or fighting from every nation. 

So give us Kya using Airbending moves with her waterbending (maybe she invents the water scooter)! Give us Tenzin doing more grounded moves that Aunty Toph (or Lin, while they were together) taught him from earthbending.

There are much more creative ways to illustrate the bumps and troubles Kataang might have run into in trying to navigate incorporating equal parts of their cultures in their children and family unit. Even just smaller scale issues like food and meals - how do they figure out how to do mealstimes with Aang’s vegetarianism with Katara’s culturally significant Water Tribe meat dishes? And then even taking into account how picky little kids can be!

Give me a scene where they literally just ate moon pies for a week because toddler Kya would scream if you put anything else down in front of her.

Maybe Bumi demanded sea prunes over and over but Katara and Bumi are the only ones who like them, and Bumi bonds with his mother this way - they go on little one-on-one outings to water tribe restaurants in Republic City, searching for the most authentic sea prunes!

Kya maybe likes the water tribe fashions the most because it helps her connect with her namesake BUT Kya also has a playful sense of humour - not unlike Monk Gyatso - Aang sees how much she loved moon pies and teaches her to throw them with waterbending.

We know Tenzin was a calm, quiet, and possibly shy child. Maybe he loved to hole himself away learning crafts. Give me Tenzin learning to tattoo, Tenzin learning to carve (and carving his first glider - it crashes of course), but also Tenzin learning to carve water tribe adornments and necklaces. Katara tries at first but when she gets busy Sokka comes in and teaches Tenzin to break all the carving rules Katara has laid down (”it doesn’t need to be perfect my little pupil - let the creativity flow!”)

Tenzin may not be able to waterbend but that doesn’t mean he can’t learn other means of healing. As the littlest he spent a lot of time watching Katara work - she teaches him to tie splints, dress wounds, and yes deliver babies.

If you made it here I love you so much for reading. I love sharing my thoughts so HIGH FIVE YOU MADE IT, ur now my friend - the friendship is non-refundable sorry 😌😌