#forgive me if she may not sound as child-like as she should xD

[starsmusedeposit]

[[Starter for @merveiilles (Aqualad)!]]

“But I wanna come with you!” “Mar’i, please, we have already talked about this!” Mar’i pouted. Yes of course they had talked about it, and Starfire was very insisting on it being the best for her to be somewhere else while the Titans head to that big mission - but a big mission also meant a big risk, and, and, and -- “I don’t wanna lose you again!”

Before Starfire could start an answer on that, the door of the Titans East Tower opened, and Starfire switched her focus to smile (and faintly blush) at Aqualad. “I thank you again that you agreed to taking Mar’i in while we are gone.” ‘You’ meaning the whole team of Titans East of course, since they had explained it (at least the rough details about Mar’i) to them as a whole. “Mar’i, this is-” “Aqualad! I know! I’m Mar’i, or Nightstar, and I’m the daughter of Starfire and Robin!” Which, of course, Mar’i felt the need to immediately add since she did notice the signs of the connection between Aqualad and Starfire. In the earlier talkings, and right now too. Unsure of what to say to that - the earlier explanation likely did enough and she didn’t need to add that Mar’i indeed was that, but from some form of future and perhaps another universe or timeline altogether - Starfire simply gently nudged Mar’i to go over, who was still clinging to Starfire’s leg. “I promise you that we will return safely, Mar’i. Please, do as we have agreed.” “But next time I’ll come with you!” To Starfire nodding, Mar’i moved over, and waved her mother from another timeline goodbye as she returned back to the T-Ship, and the team took off. “I totally could have joined them!” She now said towards Aqualad, feeling the need to make clear who she was - or rather, what she wasn’t. “Mommy and Daddy taught me a lot about fighting! I don’t need a babysitter!” But that’s exactly what was happening here, and then by someone who Starfire had these apparent feelings for, and, it was all just frustrating.

[yanderecandystore]

Happy holidays! how about a hot chocolate competition among the yandere ocs and the best one gets a special cabin date with darling?

Hello @teachillvibes, I'm so glad to see you again- Your requests are always so wonderful boo, thanks for requesting me this one!

Happy holidays everyone!! 🎄

TW/Tags: Sweet times cause I sure love them- // kinda like a city festival going on lol // I took your concept and change it a bit I'm sorry boo ;-; // it took me so freaking looooooooong to do it XD I'm sorry- I was kinda hoping that this could be my Christmas gift to y'all ;-;

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Hot Chocolate Competition [Yandere!OCS x Reader - Headcanon]:

🍒Bullies🍭

→Alexandra Coldwell:

If I'm being honest, she probably would have reconsidered sharing the prize with her brother before she can consider going out with you instead. Alexandra entered the competition solely because she thought it would be fun, after all she isn't really the type to get herself dirty if it isn't for fun.

She wanted to win of course, but surprisingly she did have a lot of fun learning how to make hot chocolate, especially with her brother's help. Alexandra thought it would only make sense to take her brother as her company into this free wintery vacation, yet for some reason he didn't accept her offer.

Adrien felt satisfied with helping his sister as normally his cooking skills are generally unappreciated or ignored, although he appreciated how his sister wanted to pay back for his help, he was already happy with just being the one that got to teach her something new, since it's normally the other way around.

And besides- Free vacation packages are always so lackluster to him, if it isn't a five star service then why even bother? He could literally pay for better treatment than what the prize guarantees anyway.

Still, she wouldn't have accepted it if she didn't have someone in mind already. Yeah, yeah, she knows you probably won't like the idea of spending time with her, especially all alone in the cold.

But- Hey, I think you should give her a chance, after all, isn't this the time to forgive and forget? Maybe not completely forget, but I'm sure she'll do her best to make this the best trip for you, ever!

→Adrien Coldwell:

Adrien is known as the lazy one of the twins, the antisocial, the "mean one" (let's be honest, they're both evil but in different ways-), yet people tend to not give him enough credit for his accomplishments.

Him coming out as the winner of the competition may seem shocking to many but let us all remember that this isn't just his random luck, Adrien really did work his best to win and since he is already interested in making sweet treats for himself you can only imagine how hard he wanted to be recognized at least once.

The prize that he won was a vacation to a winter resort of some kind for two people, meaning him and anyone he would like to bring. Adrien considered bringing his sister, since he felt like it would be better for her to spend Christmas in a cabin with him than at home with... both of their parents and, may he dare say, ridiculous Christmas songs. Those damn, Christmas songs.

But Alexandra made sure to refuse his offer each time he tried to bring up, saying that the place was probably runned down and filthy and that she would never step inside a place like that- Alexandra also said that it wouldn't be fair to go with him since she didn't help him, and that this was something he won on his on, he deserves to enjoy it fully.

But what a dilemma, who would have the privilege of accompanying him to such a "special event"?

You, of course. Even if he knows you would rather be far away from him and get some rest from his constant torment, it's not like he would leave you alone at all lol-

Hey give him a break, will you? I'm sure you'll have a great time with him, he promises he won't do anything stupid while you two are there.

Just let him repay you for an entire year of entertainment, dearest.

🍎Teachers🥧

→Madeline Allen:

Madeline is normally very uninterested in competing with anyone, even if the prize sounds amazing. What made her stay and see more of the event was when she noticed you in the crowd, maybe you were with your friends, although she didn't really see anyone she recognizes as your friends there-

What made her participate and do her very best to win? It was when she noticed how most of the contestants seemed to have a suspicious interest in you, something felt weird in those stares they were giving you. She is a little suspicious about the intentions behind those stares, yet she has to recognize that whenever there is a shiny diamond radiating light, it's hard to not notice. It's obvious that they recognize how shiny you are, love.

It doesn't really excuse their clingy behavior towards you, but sure, she gets why they're doing this, or why they would enter this competition in the first place. All to get your attention apparently.

Honestly, she wasn't planning on entering this competition at all, but… Hmmn, how can she say this nicely- She doesn't like these people trying so hard to get your attention, specially with the prize being something that would give any of them the privilege of having you all by themselves, no dearest, she can't let them have you like that-

Besides! Wouldn't you prefer being with nsomeone that is actually looking forward to making you happy, instead of being stuck with brats, with troublemakers and… uhn- A cosplayer…?

Anyway, all of them are pretty eccentric with their own weird little charm, she is sure they'll be fine, especially far away from you- Believe me, she is so excited about this vacation! Forget about these guys, think about all of the things you two can do!

She is already thinking about what she'll bring with her, some cozy warm clothes, maybe her favorite fuzzy blanket, maybe some of her favorite movies, some rope, an tranquilizer-

Well, who cares about the details anyway?? She is just so excited, she can't wait to give you the best of her cookies!!

→Matthew Robinson:

Matthew is a really reserved individual. Being part of big events is simply not his thing, but it was because of you and that sweet smile of yours that brought him to this place. And well…. The smile stuck in the other contestant's faces… Not that they were even half as charming as yours, on the contrary, they seemed oddly sinister.

Mischievous by their very nature, all of these people seem to be somewhat interested in you, breathing in your presence like you're oxygen itself. Disgusting. For the first time in his life he feels pissed off enough to say he wants to see them drop dead- Not that he'll actually do anything, he is nothing like that.

All of these people seemed really interested in winning that prize and hopefully taking you with them, which of course he couldn't allow it, as your only protection from these fiends.

When he won, he was too dumbfounded to even notice the hatred looks that the other competitors were giving him. He really did win, didn't he? He couldn't believe he won!

For the first time in his life he didn't feel satisfaction that came from the competition itself being great, no, true satisfaction came when you accepted to go with him! That's the golden prize he never thought he deserved, yet feels so rewarding.

Don't worry dearest, he'll take care of everything that you need while you two are there, you'll be treated like the perfect little princess/prince you are, like the perfect doll.

Now he just needs to be sure on what to bring, this is probably the most excited he has been since he was a child!

🍋Delinquents🐍

→Janette Sartorius:

Janette isn't one for entering in these competitions just because, there needs to be a good reason for it, like helping them raise a good funding for some sort of charity, or ya know, impressing that one really cute person in your class. Yeah, really important-

Look, she has a lot of clown energy, she knows it, but being publicly humiliated is absolutely not her thing! And that means being either the loser or the winner, she doesn't know exactly what to say when she is put into such position-

Still, if it means giving you something nice, then sure! She'll take whatever she can, although she was focusing on gaining something like second/third place so she can get something small like a plushie or a basket of chocolate, anything that would be small yet really charming- Just like you!

When the judges announced her as the winner in first place, she couldn't believe it! No- Seriously, she couldn't believe it!! She tried to make sure her presentation would be nice but mild enough to not be considered a winner!! What the hell???

Even if the universe seemed to have betrayed her by making her be the one in front of so many people as she claimed her prize, she was once again blessed with luck, as her prize was something truly worth looking like a fool in front of so many strangers-

Of course she'll take you first! Why not?? It's not that weird, it's just pals being pals and inviting each other to cool trips, ya know?? Surely she isn't screaming inside at how cliche this all seems.

Look at her, NOT thinking about the huge amount of fanfiction she had ever read where there was only one bed! NOT her reconsidering not going because she can't handle the thought of there only one bed. She is totally fine, ya know? NOT thinking you'll hate her when you learn how much of a weeb she is-

She'll make sure that you have fun with her, but you'll probably catch her trying way too hard to impress you very soon- Please, talk with babe- In her brain there is only one neuron, and it's constantly banging its head in the walls of her brain screaming your name.

→Jackson Macnee:

Jack isn't really interested in these competitions, it isn't his thing, he wouldn't waste time on it unless there was something really, really important at hand.

And it seemed like today was the day to do anything that he could to not only enter such stupid competition, but to win it at all costs. It was when he recognized those familiar faces next to yours that he decided to enter it, but it was when he noticed all of the contestants, who were presumably strangers to one another, get somewhat riddled up about your presence.

Yeah sure, you're cute, you're pretty and yes you're perfect, but seeing half of the contestants being so… Clingy over you it's absolutely ridiculous-

What? You know all of them?? Or are you going to tell him that some of these imbeciles got this lovestruck immediately just by taking one glimpse at you? You would sound absolutely insane to him if you have chosen to tell him none of them, absolutely none of them are interested in you in any way- Especially those dumbass bourgeois blondies.

Jesus fuck, what type of luck is that? Having all these morons be so interested in impressing you by winning a prize for you? Sounds dumb to him, but still, if winning it's what takes to make these fools stop daydreaming about you then so be it. It's not that he really wants to impress you by giving the prize he won, he just wants to see the twins cry after noticing the cruel reality that they don't have you- Or that they can't get everything that they want, that could work too-

Jack is sure to seem calm and unbothered throughout the entire event, trying to sound happy that he won, and trying even harder to not make the laugh in the face of the rest of the competitors. But honestly, he wasn't expecting the prize to be so…. convenient? Really? A place where he can take you to be all alone with him while enjoying such a joyful season?? Yes, he'll gladly take it and make sure to shove in everyone's faces, not literally, but clear enough for everyone to get the message.

Although he is happy for his win, he doesn't really know what to do from there- The fact was starting to settle in when he rethought over and over again about the trip. Somewhere all alone with you, sounds really, well, like a dream, like a fantasy, unrealistic.

Jack will do what he does best, fake that he is calm while hiding the fact he is panicking at the thought of being this close to you. Again, he doesn't want you to know how much he wished for this. Whenever he acts like he doesn't care at all, he at least hopes you know you do mean a lot to him.

🍈A.I (non-binary/gender neutral)👾

→Yuma Soma:

Yuma was focused on winning the moment they entered the competition, however they didn't know what the prize would be until they actually won it. They were more interested in the competition aspect of this event than what they would gain with it, yet when hearing what the prize would be they were, well, confused-

What is so special about this whole "free vacation"? A cabin in the middle of the woods with nothing but snow? Pff- As if snow is even that cool for them to want to see it! Yeah, they know what snow is….. 100%...... yeaaaaaah.

Okay fine, they don't really know what it is. I mean- Sure they know the definition of it, and they have seen a bit of it in their game, although they bet that what they have seen isn't half like the real deal.

It may seem silly, but maybe this trip could be a great opportunity for them to be able to see it and feel it for the first time with you by their side. With you trapped inside the game or not.

Don't be so mean boo, they promise they'll behave this time! The biggest gift you can give them it's the wonderful time you two will share, then again, it's not like you can really do anything against it, right?

🍬Kitsune🦊

→Tatsumi:

To be honest, Tatsumi isn't one for entering these types of competitions unless the price is truly worth it. Money would be the first thing in his list of priorities, yet the idea of going into vacation on the holidays doesn't sound half as bad, ya know?

While walking around the city plaza with you, you two noticed the event happening and decided to take a look.

He wanted to try it out because it sounded fun, yet to actually win?? This feels amazing yet somewhat inappropriate to him, he didn't really consider the possibility of winning, that it almost feels like he would be taking something that he doesn't deserve.

And as he struggles to come out with any excuse as to why he can't take the prize, even though he could take it and give it to any of his friends, you decided to intervene and take the prize for him.

You already knew how Tatsumi felt about himself, you didn't know exactly what led to it but you did know about his constant breakdowns whenever he thought no one was looking. He did tell you about some of his issues but whenever he could he would fake it as being something dumb that you shouldn't worry about, but come on- You already know that is bullshit.

Tatsumi would feel better knowing you're coming with him, but he would still feel awkward knowing it's just the two of you, and it's not like he won't receive thousands of messages from all of his friends calling him out for not inviting any of them. It's not like they had anything against you, they just really liked messing with him over his massive crush over a you-

He may be a little sneaky perv bastard, but come on now- You know he will treat you right while you two are there, honestly he just wants to enjoy some change of scenery with his favorite person.

🍰CEO📏

���Ingrid Bright:

First things first, Ingrid is a serious woman owner of the biggest business empire in the country- Do you really think she has time for things like that? Cause either way, even if she lost, she could have- Built a winter resort just for herself if she wanted to go there so badly.

But who knows, maybe she found something charming about winning the competition and sharing the prize with you, it's… A bit more charming than her just bringing you to a place she paid for. Something about the novelty of winning something for you sounds really appealing, maybe even worth the trial and error, and again she doesn't really need it, so there isn't any harm in trying.

Although let's be honest, there is a slight possibility that the game was rigged to her favour considering her own status against the various competitors. What? It's not like she is aware of it, if anything she is just as clueless as every other person competing.

She probably does need some rest from the same boring office that she has to work in everyday, and bringing you with her may be the best part of it all! What do you say? Want to get some rest far away from the company?

Well, maybe not completely far away, considering she is your boss… But, maybe if Ms. Bright gets to relax for a while, she'll eventually soften up. You won't be in an awkward trip with your boss anymore, you'll be on a surprisingly nice vacation with a person you knew for a while but only got to truly know recently. She really hopes you don't see her as just your boss...

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[panharmonium]

@dreamersscape​ please forgive me for tagging you in a post to respond to your comments; tumblr’s reply feature is hard to have an extended/coherent conversation on, and I’m so excited to talk to a kindred Naruto spirit that I knew I was gonna write too much for it all to fit in that space XD

re: hinata - Oh my gosh, YES, my sister and I were so frustrated by how they just completely never addressed that moment again.  I wasn't surprised, because it's been clear from the beginning that this show doesn't really care much about women, so the female characters' storylines getting dropped or never explored in the first place is pretty much what I've always expected, but it's still infuriating.  

Honestly, the only good thing about this show's general disinterest in women is that it means that I don't place any blame on in-story Naruto for never addressing what Hinata did for him, because I know the fact that we don't see him dealing with her confession isn't actually intended to communicate anything about his reaction/non-reaction/level of investment; it's literally just a function of the fact that the writer doesn't care about her story.  It's the same way I feel about how we see so much less one-on-one time between Kakashi and Sakura - her lack of screentime with him isn't something about which a person can credibly argue "Oh, this means Kakashi doesn't care about her enough and he's a bad teacher etc etc," because the imbalance isn’t a deliberate writing decision we're supposed to analyze for characterization.  It's a reflection of the fact that the entire show is super sexist. XD

re: danzo: It’s one thing to have your villain believe himself to the hero of his own story, and like, another to have Danzo basically tout having darkness in your heart being a great thing and encouraging it’s presence/cultivating it - lmao YES!  And honestly, this is why I actually find Danzo LESS infuriating than the Third Hokage.  Like, Danzo is Super Evil and every time he exploits another child I want to watch him die all over again, but at least he like....owns his horribleness?  Whereas Hiruzen is the biggest hypocrite on the planet - when I rewatched the Shonen Jump stuff a while back (my sister and I took a little break prior to Season 11 and rewatched some old stuff), I couldn't stand listening to Hiruzen go on and on about how the entire Leaf Village is his family and it's his role to protect all of them etc etc, because like - he literally covered up the genocide of Sasuke's entire family and let the perpetrator remain in power (and that was before I even knew about all these other crimes he allowed to go unpunished!!!)  Danzo may be the Worst, but at least he's not pretending to be anything other than what he is.  Hiruzen is still acting like he's everybody's sweet old grandpa, and that makes me even more angry than Danzo's straight-up horribleness.  (And I do agree with you, they definitely lean harder into the "Lord Third is amazing" stuff pre-Shippuden, I just still feel confused about what the show is ultimately trying to say about him because we haven't gotten an explicit enough condemnation of his choices yet, and I feel like it's way overdue XD )

re: minato - Hard agree that Minato is an enigma.  I don't feel like I fully understand him either - and not in a bad way, just in the sense that he's hard to read.  The toughest thing for me to parse was always how distant he seemed with his students, which was surprising to me at first, because he'd been built up as sort of this "ideal shinobi" figure for such a long time, but to me, an ideal shinobi teacher looks more like...well, Kakashi, to be honest.  And it took a while for me to reconcile with the fact that Minato and Kakashi really do just relate to their students very differently.  I think Minato has always been a soldier, and I think he sees children as soldiers, too - not in an evil way at all, just in the sense that this is how the shinobi world works, and how it has always worked.  It's not a "wrong" way to perceive shinobi kids, in the context of the story's universe.  And so when things happen to those kids, he absolutely cares, but it's also sort of just a grim fact of life for him.  It's like when Kushina tells him she doesn't want to make Naruto a jinchuriki, and she asks 'why do we have to do that to him, why does he have to suffer that way for the sake of the balance of power between nations,' and Minato's response is “Because our family is Shinobi.”  That was a really telling moment for me in terms of how he sees the world.  It's not something I'm interested in condemning him for, like you said; I don't think the story is ever asking us to do that, it’s just a philosophy that's very different from how Kakashi sees things and what he thinks children's experiences should be like.  

I guess what I ultimately think (from the material we’ve seen so far, at least) is that Minato seems to perceive the loss of his students as something that Kakashi is struggling with, not something he himself is agonizing over.  It’s a very sad thing that happened, of course, but it’s just part of the way their world works/a function of the times they live in.  It's not something Minato is tormenting himself about.  Whereas I think that if Kakashi ever lost a kid, it would have killed him.  And I don't think this fact is in any way supposed to paint Minato as a bad person.  He's not!  All it means is that there is a generational difference between the world Kakashi and Co. are trying to create and the world Minato always knew, and people like Minato are doing the best they can with the framework they have.  

I do like the guy a lot - and I wonder what he might have been like if he had lived to see a permanent peace established.

re: little Yamato - oh boy, those episodes nearly ended me.  I am already very, very, VERY weak for Kakashi and Yamato’s friendship, and seeing Kakashi rescue Yamato from that horrible place (literally and metaphorically) was too much for me to handle.  Kakashi’s silhouette replacing Danzo in Yamato’s memories of being rescued from Orochimaru’s lab - that slew me.  And the way Danzo tells Yamato “you have no past, no future, no name” juxtaposed with Kakashi introducing Yamato as Tenzo because he remembers from three years ago how Yamato once rebelled at being called Kinoe and yelled “MY NAME IS TENZO” - Kakashi just using that chosen name without hesitation, without question, without needing to be told...it all ties back into the recent thematic throughline the show is working with about Identity - the importance of the Tailed Beasts having names, Kabuto’s desperate and misguided search for “who and what he is,” Itachi reclaiming his true self by undoing the reanimation justu and declaring “I am Itachi Uchiha of the Leaf Village,” Obito claiming that his real name doesn’t matter anymore, that he’s Nobody...it’s fantastic how they’re pulling all this together.

re: Kakashi and little Naruto - oh man, the feelings.  I agree with you that Kakashi was in no place to be dealing with this, but certainly under different circumstances I think he would have loved to be a part of baby Naruto’s life.  I actually think the reasoning behind “let’s put Kakashi in a situation where he’s in close contact with someone bringing new life into the world” is sound - I think that would be a really good thing for him!  Just not in the sense of “you’re Kushina’s personal bodyguard, so if anything happens to her and the baby you can blame yourself for it.” XD  Like...Minato could have invited Kakashi in for dinner sometimes, instead of having him constantly stand guard under their window???  If it had been more “we care about you and we want you to be a part of our family”....ugh, that would have been amazing.  Kakashi is already SO good with Naruto (who is NOT by any means an easy kid to manage) - he just has such good instincts about how to talk to that kid and teach him in ways that work WITH Naruto’s particular brand of high motivation/low frustration tolerance, ping-pong emotional extremes, explosive energy levels, zero impulse control, and an inability to process more than one thing at a time.  Handling Naruto effectively would be a challenging project for any teacher, never mind taking care of Naruto and two other kids, but Kakashi is a natural at it.  It would have been awesome to see what Kakashi was like with Naruto when they were even younger...though the Feels might knocked me out.

[also, you mentioned Naruto and Obito - I cannot even tell you the Extremest Agonies I was in when the big reveal happened and I had to hear Naruto blankly go “who is he” - utterly clueless, without the faintest idea that he’s looking at the person who shaped his entire moral philosophy.  The amount of things that these kids don’t know...that fact that Naruto has been quoting this very person all his life and making all his major life decisions based on the lesson Kakashi relayed to them on Day One - Obito’s words - oh boy oh boy I was not capable of handling that even the littlest bit.]

[ryttu3k]

Hello naughty children it's Gehenna time.

...which means I'm going to read the book properly this time and write notes on each scenario, partially for my own reference, partially in answer to an ask from @rayshell22livejournalcom​ from about a zillion years ago. Sorry about that!

Mood soundtrack: Godspeed You! Black Emperor - F# A# ∞; Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven; Yanqui U.X.O.

Prelude: Netchurch is an interesting character. Very skeptical, despite, well, the entire setting, although that's definitely, uh, broken by the end. Feel very sad for Afifa, who was a pawn in all this. Creepy babies galore!

Introduction: "While Vampire favors that futile, tragic, and - we'll say it - angst-heavy conclusion" - lmao you don't say. Although I do like how they have the consistent golden rule that if you don't like it, just ditch it! (Of course, the Gehenna scenarios as a whole have been completely retconned anyway by v20 and v5, so this entire book is a good example of taking what you want from it and ignoring the rest.)

"Some people are on opposite sides of this thing. They're elders who don't want to knuckle under to the Antediluvians (most elders will accept their proper place in the heirarchy again with the rising of their progenitors) and poor, misled souls who bought into the lie and are pissed about it (paging Mr. Pieterzoon). Bottom line: the Camarilla collapses like Enron/WorldCom as the worthlessness of its foundation becomes public knowledge. Chaos ensues among the vampire community, princes find themselves besieged by their own locals, and it's all a big clusterfuck."

Have I ever mentioned I love how VtM phrases stuff? Also F to Jan.

I like how they have a masterlist of what's actually going on with the Antediluvians. Spoilers ;D "For example, note that [Tzimisce] is simply referred to as [Tzimisce]. Even here at the game studio, our limited mortal minds weren't able to comphrenend the creature's real name." Lovecraft only WISHES he had eldritch abominations this spooky! Ennoia is 'Active and scary' and apparently spooks the devs just thinking about it. Makes sense. "Giovanni (Augustus Giovanni): Augustus is a pig, and he should probably die as one of the early events of Gehenna. He's the youngest of the Antediluvians and probably possessed the greatest ego (in mortal terms), so it'll be cosmic justice when he eats it." I love how no one likes Giovanni, even his creators. Malkav may or may not BE the Madness Network, in which case they cease to be an Antediluvian and just become... a part of the Malkavians, I guess? Absimiliard may or may not be chilling at the bottom of the ocean, because mood. Tremere / Saulot is definitely a fun one to play with, yeah. Although, oof, if Saulot ever gets control of their shared body, he's going to be fucked up if [Tzimisce] activates, so. Probably better to create a nice fresh body, like what BJD suggests with the child Saulot.

Chapter 1 - the lead-up: Basically a rundown of the signs and how they're interpreted. "An angel dies: How does an angel die? Who has the gall to rise up and slay one of God's firstborn? Or perhaps this is another metaphor. An angel could be a pure and gentle creature, or then again, it need not be one of God's angels (not that God's angels are necessarily pure and gentle). A feared and particularly vicious Necronomist Tzimisce, Sascha Vykos is sometimes referred to as the Angel of Caine. Many would rejoice the night that Vykos died." Hey rude :( I vote they kill Michael instead. He wants to be an Archangel? Fine, he can fulfill a prophesy XD

Honestly I really do dig that Ennoia Earthmelded with the entire planet. You can go so many directions with that, good or bad! Ennoia as The Beast Below, or Ennoia as Gaia? (Wow, that'd really fuck with the Garou XD) I love how the general consensus on Haqim is like, no one knows if he exists or not but lbr Ur-Shulgi is bad enough. Kinda dig the idea of the Toreador ante, Ishtar/Arikel, being genderfluid? I mean yeah essentially demigods have no need for gender anyway, but the constant debates over whether the Toreador ante is the female Ishtar or the male Arikel (or, uh, was it vice versa?) does lead to some interesting concepts. Ooh, similar to [Tzimisce] being linked to its entire clan (and the Tremere, anyone who's ever taken part in the Vaulderie, and anyone who knows Vicissitude), [Lasombra] may be connected to anyone who knows Obtenebration? [Ravnos]... yeah, probably dead. F to the clan. And yeah I think [Tzimisce] is flat-out the scariest one of all, and probably the one most likely to actually start the apocalypse, lbr.

Ugh this is one of the books that calls Sascha 'it' :-\ Do not like. ...Also do not like the suggestion that they're an unknowing agent of the Eldest, given, uh, the last chapter of the DA Tzimisce novel. Shoo! Shoo! You've ruined their unlife enough as it is!

Epistolary material! I do dig those. Most interesting: a letter to Sascha mentioning apocalyptic visions of New York but with the Carpathians in the background, and an anonymous letter to Hardestadt warning him of one of his line tearing down a castle that the writer feels believes the Camarilla. GO JAN FUCK IT UP.

And on to the scenarios themselves!

Chapter 2 - Wormwood: This is an interesting one. Literally a Biblical vengeance - God takes a good look at the Children of Caine and goes, "Well, this is fucked up", acknowledges that Caine never really sought true forgiveness and repentance, and sets forth Wormwood, the Red Star. The truly repentant are saved, the rest just. Die.

Herald here is a dhampir girl named Alia - thinblood father, human mother. When she's twelve, she becomes God's chosen, basically. Traveling with three thinblood guardians, one night, she's approached a Gargoyle named Ferox with True Faith, who sees himself as a fallen angel. And Alia offers him a way of redemption - find the chosen true believers, wait out Wormwood, receive judgement. Anyone can seek sanctuary, only the true believers and the ones genuinely willing to repent will survive the judgement itself. Alia and Ferox set out to find the other chosen ones.

Whew. Very full-on - the players remain in one place with a whole bunch of other vampires for forty nights. I mean, that's a test in and of itself XD All welcome! (Except infernalists and the antediluvians and Caine himself. They're fucked no matter what.)

Like. All welcome XD "Some Storytellers might feel that this character roundup could get too silly, suddenly having all these celebrity Kindred get together for a big slumber party, and they would be correct." Fuck that give me a slumber party AU XD

Am very glad about the note that the vampires inside only lose one blood point per 10 days, rather than every day. Otherwise, uh, it'd get gory.

Yeah, this is a really interesting scenario. Very character-focused, very introspective. All about the characters trying to work out what it means to be good people - not the strongest vampires, not the most powerful, but good people. Are they worthy of salvation? That's the crux of the story. Of course, it's very, uh, Biblical, heh, but it's first and foremost about morality and redemption. I dig it.

Also, giant vampire slumber party.

Chapter 3 - Fair is Foul: Ooh, this is a Lilith vs Caine scenario.

This one has the Withering hit in weird ways, including clan-specific ones - like the Banu Haqim only able to feed on vitae, then only able to gain sustenance from diablerie. Gangrel turn even more animalistic. Lasombra take to the seas, Obtenebration ripping holes straight to the Abyss. Malks, uh, leak madness. Nosferatu get even uglier, Toreador devolve into debauchery. Tremere develop third eyes, and yes, I did laugh out loud when I read that. Tzimisce... hmm... get a bit, uh, uncontrolled. And Ventrue find they can now only feed on... other Ventrue. Fun times!

"At your discretion, Lilith might be particularly vulnerable to Jewish True Faith, as the Jewish tales about her are the source of nearly every negative sentiment ever directed against her in writing. As a result, most orthodox Jews bear Lilith great contempt for defying her husband and her God." Yeah ngl I think she's pretty dang cool and I can just see, like, most of my ancestors facepalming at the idea XD;; Fuck obediance you do your own thing.

"Trying to work out traits for Lilith, Lucifer, Caine, or any of the Antediluvians would just be a waste of our word count and your time." I like the time they published a guide for fighting Caine. It was two words. "You lose."

Ah. Okay, Saulot in Tremere's body being taken over by the Eldest = scary, because have you ever been attacked by an Antediluvian wielding Thaumaturgy, Valeran, and Vicissitude at the SAME :) TIME? :) Yeah :)

Really dig the idea of Abel showing up as the first Wraith. The forgiveness element.

Overall, this isn't my favourite scenario, I think? It feels very chaotic, and while it's probably the most traditional to play, I'm not sure how much it literally challenges the characters, unlike the sheer soul-searching...ness of Wormwood?

Chapter 4 - Nightshade: Chapter starts with, "We all wear masks" and my first thought was "boy you have no idea" XD

Awww yes this is the masquerade break scenario! See here for my thoughts on that and how the Nephtali could be adapted to v5, heh.

Yeah okay earthquakes, volcanoes, and riots are normal enough. A horrible blood virus where it appears some flesh-like thing is living in people's veins and feeding off their blood sounds like something that starts with T and rhymes with Shzimitze. ...Probably. No one knows how the fuck it's pronounced anyway. Oops, those riots are apparently over the existence of vampires. Yeah that'd be... unfortunate. And more earthquakes, this time due to Kupala vs the Eldest. Whew. Red star, yep, standard. MORE earthquakes, this time due to the Second City rising. Sounds legit. Bad times all around!

The details on breaking the Masquerade are interesting. Basic emotions: denial, rationalisation, fear, anger, acceptance. The acceptance one is interesting, because I can definitely see some jumping to it straight away.

So, on to the scenario itself! Jan recruits the players to fight the... uh, mass under NYC. This is the corpse of the Eldest, which is more or less a giant fungal infection held together with Vicissitude, which frankly is just icky. This actually is  canon-compliant with BJD, since it apparently has only just... dissipated? or whatever there, or if it still remains, it's no longer conscious. In this one, its soul flicks back to Tremere's/Saulot's body and wakes up, and basically every Tzimisce, Tremere, and anyone who has ever drank Tzimisce blood (which would be the entire Sabbat via Vaulderie) spontaneously frenzies. Godspeed. Cyscek, a Tzimisce methuselah, helps defeat the, uh, blob at the expense of his life, and warns with his last words, "The Dragon rises. You must stop it. Find Vykos. [They] know." (Okay yeah the text says 'it knows' but also fuck that.) Ooh, plot point!

Aaaand then they retreat from the battle, exhausted, only to find the whole damn thing broadcast on every TV screen, vampiric Disciplines and Cyscek dusting and all. W h o o p s.

Lots and lots of details of a major masquerade breach here. Hardestadt shows up and tells Jan he's proooobably gonna get Final Death for, you know, trying to save the world. Gonna share this bit because it's Very Satisfying.

Please refer to my tag #hardestadt has no rights ;D

Anyway! The characters now recruited, Jan leads them back to London for the Convention of Fire. He's working with Calebros and... like a bunch of others, probably anyone can end up here, so long as they want to actually help and not just fall apart like the remnants of the Camarilla (trying to diablerise their way into keeping power) and the Sabbat (...ditto tbh). Those definitely in attendance are Ambrogino Giovanni, Hesha Ruhadze, and Fatima! And lbr the Nod Squad are probably there too. As if Beckett would pass up the chance to NOT witness what's happening with Gehenna. And Anatole is literally a prophet of Gehenna! They found the Nephtali, led by a council of twelve, with Jan at the head. Name means 'the highest point' or 'no further' - as in, Gehenna goes no further than this.

Oh lmao here we go, the scene I mentioned earlier - Jan vs talk shows.

F to Jan.

Tremere's body (inhabited by Saulot) disappears from beneath the Vienna chantry. Tremere's body, with [Tzimisce] now well in control (having overtaken Saulot; Tremere, meanwhile, has taken over Goratrix's body, with Goratrix's mind stuck in a mirror... it's complicated), wipes out the Vienna chantry. RIP to the Vienna chantry, which doesn't survive in either timeline tbh. Hey, I wonder if that means that Saulot (in Tremere's body) is dead in v5? Etrius manages to escape and reports that the Eldest is now on the way to Ceoris, where it'll call all the remaining Tzimisce to it to become, uh, a part. Pleasant.

Everything between Krakow and Bucharest is straight fukk’d. Ceoris is the centre of all this - IIRC it's somewhere in the southern Carpathians, nearish Brasov. Either way, hell of a fight results with what can only be described as an eldritch abomination, finally both managing to destroy Kupala (the Eldest's goal) and reducing The Thing down to a human-looking body. This bit is interesting! Tremere (in Goratrix' body) and Etrius take one look at each other. "Master..." "I... I know. But where the hell is Saulot?!" Good question, because he sure ain't in Tremere's, uh, former body any more, which was in fact what was fighting them the whole time. Either way, Tremere-in-Goratrix'-body leaps at [Tzimisce]-in-Tremere's-body and diablerises his, um, former body, which must be weird as hell, then tries to turn on the characters and his powers fuckiNG FAIL. EAT SHIT TREMERE. And then the players kill him too and realise that over the course of one night they've destroyed the demon Kupala and two Antediluvians, Tremere and the Eldest. Not bad. This is the battle that causes that second lot of earthquakes I mentioned earlier.

Back to London! They find the mirror containing Goratrix amongst Tremere's belongings. Poor fucker sorry not sorry.

And now the players receive a summons to escort someone from Montreal to the Nephtali headquarters in London! Namely, a Tzimisce named Myca Vykos~ They've recently defected from the Sabbat and want to help take the Antediluvians tf down. (Note: the book here has reverted to using he/him pronouns since they're back in their original form, I'm going to keep using they/them because biological sex does not determine gender identity or pronouns goddammit. ...Anyway. I AM going to use the name Myca since that's the name they're using themself, mostly because, uh, 'Myca' is a bit less noticeable than 'Sascha Vykos', haha.)

So Gehenna has started. Myca's woken up in their original form and being like, "Hey you know what I am preTTY SURE I don't want to serve the Eldest" and promptly joins the Nephtali.

From New York to London to Romania to London to Montreal to London (...London is a hub world apparently), now off to Turkey, to Kaymakli! Which is actually a real place, my brother's been on a tour there. Anyway, this is the part of Kaymakli that they don't show the tourist and that's been sealed shut with lots of angry Cappadocians instead, so that was fun. Presumably Kapaneus hasn't been chilling out there in this one.

Also Colombia has completely been overtaken by the Sabbat so that sucks.

Into Kaymakli! Which usually doesn't let Cainites back out so it may be one-way. Don't worry, there's a ritual for that. At the bottom, they find Augustus Giovanni! Who is pissed off he never actually got to eat Cappadocius' soul and so wants to eat God instead.

As you do.

The book very strongly encourages the players to kill him. Just 'cause. Which is a mood, tbh. Killing him also reveals a beaten, bound Nosferatu, having been Giovanni's most recent food source. An F for Okulos. He's been there for four years, having managed to get a lost fragment of the Book of Nod for Beckett, who promised to come back for him and. Didn't. Which is just rude tbh and I can kind of understand why Okulos ends up betraying Beckett in the Gehenna novel but anyway. (Not canon as of v20, he's perfectly present and chill in BJD.)

End results - the fragment that Okulos went to retrieve shows how to restore the Second City, which holds a complete Book of Nod and may hold the key to stopping Gehenna. It's in Enochian so your player characters probably won't be able to read it (book suggests asking Sascha or Ambrogino). Next stop, Egypt, and a meeting with Hesha Ruhadze! Man this scenario has a lot of signature characters. It also suggests getting third parties in here too, so Beckett would actually be a really good choice. Either way, they find the probable site, and suddenly, a Second City.

Archeologists make grabby hands. Beckett, somewhere, is probably crying in joy. They find a vial with some very old blood in it that they definitely shouldn't drink because otherwise they'll explode (the book uses Sascha as the example here XD;; ). Along with some mystical enscriptions, they return to London and get to work on the prophecy - namely, it suggests that 'the gentle one' (likely Saulot) will die at the hands of another, but arise in a new form, and will stop Gehenna that way. Etrius, one of the only Tremere left and having joined the Nephtali, goes 'fuck it what do I have to lose?' and goes to find whatever new form Saulot is in (potentially can also involve Goratrix here).

Hm. Well. Saulot is apparently in a research centre outside Sydney. Apparently we're mostly chill with vampires, aside from Christians XD Go figure!

Apparently it's a cloning facility. One of the rooms had, past tense, a child, successfully cloned six-year-old, who was in perfect physical form but vegetative from birth. Religious characters will pick up that it's because the kid's body didn't have a soul. Now, it does - Saulot's. Having been thrown out of Tremere's body when the Eldest took over, his soul fled until it could find the most suitable vessel - a soulless cloned body. No actual soul to have to subdue. Saulot ends up reborn, albeit in the form of a six-year-old and without any memories. Turns out, the child was taken by a cult of Thinbloods, believing him to be the messiah.

Sydney's messy situation gets described here! Short version, Sydney's Prince is/was Sarrasine, who was a Toreador. Except he wasn't a Toreador, it was a fairly open secret he was only POSING as a Toreador - he was actually a Caitiff. (Except he's not actually a Caitiff. He's a sixth-gen Setite. Sydney is Like That, yes.) Given Sydney's independence from the sects and its apparent Caitiff Prince, it's become a major site of Caitiff and Thinbloods, which Sarrasine is just thrilled about but can't do anything about because he doesn't want to actually go 'lol I'm a Setite'. Anyway, either way, everyone is unaware of Saulot's return, so the players seek out the little boy, who's pretty spooked and confused. Asks the characters, "Who are you? What is this place? What do all these people want?" and his third eye opens. Tada! Salubri Antediluvian, and like the prophecy mentioned, he's 'unholy' and 'a mockery in the face of God' - a clone.

Back to London with kid!Saulot. The Nephtali have been trying to work out what tf is going on. A researcher tried drinking from the vial. It was messy. The characters might get some downtime. Sarrasine's followers may attack to try and get the kiddo back. Either way, everyone goes to bed, and wakes up to find a Darkness having overtaken the sun, which is generally not good for anyone, and Lasombra characters are just, feels bad man. The Veil of Darkness means vampires can be up 24/7, along with other things that don't like sunlight, and I imagine things like... plants not being thrilled. Also probably very confused animals. I'm not sure if it's like a dark atmosphere, or a physical body between the sun and Earth that just eclipses it whatever vantage point you look from, or what? Disciplines like Auspex, Obfuscate, and Obtenebration go a bit fucky. Then, a few days later, everyone feels a... Summons. For low-generation vampires with still-living Antediluvians, it's strongest. Higher gens with destroyed Antes, not so bad. So I'm sure you can guess what's summoning them.

Yep. Antediluvians. Banu Haqim are getting summoned to Alamut instead so Ur-Shulgi can turn them into an army against the Antediluvians, so godspeed resisting that, Elijah.

Off to the city of Gehenna (it's nearish Jerusalem). Elders of all stripes have been heading there to kill their childer in hope of being rewarded by their Antediluvians to get their powers restored, which is terribly rude. Indeed, the Antediluvians basically go, hey, can you not, and also can you start Embracing more childer for our armies, because they're not very nice either. Pretty much all the characters have been summoned for their crimes against the Antediluvians, and now they're gathered before them - Set, [Lasombra], Ennoia, Absimiliard, Malkav (as like... a cluster of identical little girls with glowing eyes because of course Malkav would use the Creepy Child trope), and [Toreador], who's so beautiful no one can tell if they're male or female. When the players and child!Saulot get there, they question him, but he's literally a six-year-old boy and is spooked. He also has the vial, somehow. Set takes it, and Kiddo says, "Don't drink it. You'll burn up." So Set makes Kiddo drink it instead, because he's a nice guy like that.

Kiddo's third eye opens. A giant black throne appears. The dozen small girls that are Malkav say, "Father's home." Kiddo!Saulot says, "No, Father's dead." Girls start screaming so loud people start bleeding thick black blood from their ears and doesn't stop until Set kills all twelve. A random stranger, now with their glowing eyes, steps forward and basically goes 'wow rude'.

Powerful beam of light appears. The Antes (aside from Kiddo!Saulot) writhe in pain. Angel appears, asks Saulot if he's willing to atone for all vampires. He agrees. Throne explodes, Antes fuckin' die, and everyone promptly frenzies and tries to eat each other, because vampires. In the aftermath of that, vampirism basically... ends. The player characters may be rewarded by becoming human again, as do a lot of Thinbloods, but most everyone older just, uh, dies. Vampirism ends, but the Earth has been saved.

That is... hmm, bittersweet, I think. It's a pretty compelling chronicle, very dramatic, but it's much less character-based and is more, 'the characters get dragged along to Do Shit'. I kind of like the idea of it being a story involving the characters we know, but for original characters, I think Wormwood is a much more compelling scenario so far.

Chapter 5 - The Crucible of God: Okay I'm tired now and this is the 'rocks fall everyone dies' scenario so gonna skim-read this one.

This is the chapter that introduces the level 10 power for all disciplines - Plot Device. The Antediluvians can do shit because they feel like it. Whew. Also, if an Ante spots anyone of their blood line, they can just make them... explode and their blood gushes into their mouth. Monch monch. Spot another clan mate? Roll to avoid frenzy. Just woke up? Roll to avoid frenzy. Good times!

And then the Tzimisce Antediluvian awoke as a mass of Vicissitude flesh fungal infestation with tentacles and lampray mouths and stuff and ate anything in reach until it ate, uh, every living thing in Manhattan. In one night. Bad day tbh. Eventually it burns when the sun rises, but what's left underground is still there and shit's still messed up. Like picking a leaf off a dandelion and it starts bleeding. Trees with faces, swarms of insects forming into eyes and watching. Nice and creepy. In the aftermath, it's basically infecting every life form on Earth with Vicissitude, which is distinctly uncool.

Absimliard has an animal army and currently looks like a giant humanoid jellyfish.

Oh boy here's the Banu Haqim part XD;; Interestingly, it's a lot better for them! Haqim doesn't eat his childer, they feel themselves strongly bonded to him but still maintain their own minds and wills. Downside, anyone who doesn't follow Haqim alone gets hunted down so he can eat them, so Ur-Shulgi's probably having a field day at being vindicated and poor Pyre/Elijah is hiding tf under the bed. Plus side, it only lasts a few months before something kills Haqim, so hey! And there's genuinely a way to become human again, especially for high-humanity, high-gen vampires, so that actually would be a genuinely good outcome for Pyre/Elijah.

Malkavians end up as a giant hive mind. Like, more than usual. [Lasombra] covers the world in darkness, then it stops. Ennoia merges with the entire planet and starts eating people. And vampires. And Methuselah. And other Antediluvians. She's kinda hangry at this point.

Tremere attempts to rule the entire world using the Human Genome Project as the true name of the entirety of humanity. It lasts about two minutes before [Tzimisce] turns him into a meat crime, along with, uh, the entire rest of the world, aside from the players, who were part of Tremere's ritual and thus immune from it.

Also Saulot, who they just met in the form of a little old man.

Turns out, he planned it all along. Lured Tremere to him, knowing that his body was tainted by using Tzimisce blood to become a vampire. Knew that when the Eldest returned, he'd be succeptable, and Saulot would be able to bounce out when the Eldest took over. Now, he can lead the characters in the only way to stop Planet Tzimisce, which is, uh, prayer and letting themselves get eaten. Could actually work! And you end up human again in the bargain!

End result - all vampires gone. Some of the more human ones do end up human again. Either way, world's still fucked. Open Antediluvian rule for several months has destroyed most of humanity. There are still remnants - former Malkavians who are still a bit weird, former Tzimisce who are a bit... Vicissitudey. Ennoia's still around! She's mostly chill except when she occasionally feels like rearranging landscapes. Otherwise, it's time to recover.

Alternate endings - that last one wasn't depressing enough, so here's a scenario where All Is Tzimisce, here's one where there's global extinction of literally everything except the player characters who gradually drop into torpor and never recover (or just flat out burn if they're outside), or there's one where the players are the only vampires left and start a new cycle with them as the new Antediluvians or something, oh and Caine's still kicking and is Very Displeased that God won't let him die already. Gooood times!

Rest is how to basically play it, and character sheets. Which go back to calling Sascha ‘it’ again *sigh* (And using the whole alien look despite explicitly mentioning that they look human again. Of course.)

So, final thoughts! Gehenna is... an interesting scenario. Lots of possibility for introspection. It’s very... apocalyptic, and that may bother a lot of people, since, well, for the most part, it’s going to be the end of playing your character as a vampire. Which I figure most people are playing Vampire the Masquerade for. So it’s basically either a hell of a finale, or you just don’t make use of it.

Favourite scenario did end up being Wormwood. I just really like the introspection and opportunity for hope. Did also enjoy Nightshade, but in a different way, I think? Like for Nightshade, I’d rather read it as existing characters working together, maybe as a novel, whereas for Wormwood I’d want to play it since it’s such an intensely personal kind of thing.

(I also still want a slumber party AU ngl.)

[antihero-writings]

The Boy with the Unspeakable Name (Ch9)

Fandom: Harry Potter (and the Chamber or Secrets)

Fic Summary: Tom Riddle may have won his battle with Harry in the Chamber of Secrets, but there were a few unforeseen consequences; loss of Tom’s memory being the most obnoxious of them. Is it possible to stop Tom’s past from becoming his future? Or is the young Tom Riddle doomed to repeat his mistakes?

Notes: Hey! So sorry for the delay, once again!! 

I've learned I really can't make any promises based on how fast I'll get these out XD But I have actually already started on the next chapter--in fact it's one I've been excited about for a long time, so I started on it a while ago--so that's a good sign at least, haha.

I'm very VERY excited to share this one with you!! I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do!! 

I hope you guys like it!! As always, it's your comments, and interest, that keep me writing!! <3

@toms-wife Okay if I tag you??

If anyone else wants to be tagged on future chapters don’t hesitate to let me know!!

Chapter 9: On the Topic of Souls, and Other Such Oddities 

Snape marched towards the Headmaster’s office, his cloak swishing about his heels. It was the next morning after everything had happed, and he couldn’t say the little sleep he got left him feeling refreshed. Numerous meetings, and even more numerous questions have a way of making one altogether restless.

And, in the end…an innocent girl was dead. It isn’t easy to sleep after such news, even barring the politics of it all.

When he entered he got the feeling that Dumbledore had just been speaking with the portraits, as words trailed off, and Dumbledore, standing in the middle of the room, turned to him like he had been about to make a very good point. The portraits too looked down at him in—if he wasn’t mistaken—an annoyed way.

“Ah, Severus. Welcome. We were merely discussing if lemon drops or chocolate frogs are better. Theodore moved that chocolate frogs are more pleasingly sweet, but I think the best sweets have a bit of tang to them. Would you like to weigh in?”

Snape raised an eyebrow. The glare the portrait gave showed there was more than a small chance the matter they were discussing was something weightier than that.

When Snape didn’t comment, Dumbledore moved on;

“Please, take a seat.” He gestured to the chair in front of the desk. Snape reluctantly swept around and sat in it.

Dumbledore walked over to a side table with a strange contraption on it, which quickly revealed itself to be a sort of odd teapot, as he proceeded to pour the steaming liquid within it into a teacup. He retained his calm, pleasant demeanor, but Snape could tell the previous day weighed on him too: there was a slight shake to his motions, and his eyes held a heaviness that his smile couldn’t mask.

“Sir…would it not be better to do this another time?”

Dumbledore gave a knowing smile. “You’re not suggesting that I am getting old, are you?”

“No, merely that such news takes a toll on all of us.”

“Many things take a toll, Severus.” He gestured to the tea to ask if he wanted a cup, Snape gave a small nod. “It is if we decide to let that toll keep us from crossing the bridge that matters.”

The headmaster brought the two cups over and he took his place on the opposite side of the desk.

Snape paused before speaking. “I assume you have brought me here to discuss the sentence of the boy with the unspeakable name.” He took a sip of tea.

“You know what they say about assuming, Severus.” He lowered his glasses. “But in this case you are correct. And it’s not so unspeakable, in fact, I encourage you to call him by it.”

Snape resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Before I endeavor to divulge my carefully-laid plans,” Dumbledore spoke, putting a handful of sugar into his tea. “I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter: what do you think we ought to do with the young Tom Riddle?”

“Permission to speak freely, sir?”

“It’s the only kind of speaking I endorse.”

“I think we should dispose of him as soon as possible. He’s too dangerous, too clever. It’s inevitable that he’ll get his memory back even if we attempt to do everything in our power to shield him from it—perhaps before we so much as try.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” One of the portraits burst out and a few others nodded in agreement.

“Keeping him alive is like keeping a ticking time bomb as a pet,” Snape continued, “thinking a little love is enough to keep it from exploding. He’s nothing more than a liability.”

Snape’s dark eyes flicked to Dumbledore, who had been listening pleasantly, with his hands folded on the desk.

“But…”—Snape drew the kind of long breath one takes when they know they’ve lost the fight before it starts, and exhaled—“something tells me you disagree.”

Dumbledore smiled. “It seems you know me too well.”

“Sir…need I remind you of your meeting with him as a child? You once told me you wished you’d been more careful, more cautious, more discerning when dealing with him in the past.”

“Thank you, but my memory has not proven faulty just yet.”

“If that’s true then I also don’t need to remind you of the things I’ve seen him do first hand. Actions that do not make me partial to the idea of keeping him alive.”

“Quite the contrary, it is for that exact reason that I am trusting with this situation.” He paused, looking at him over his half moon spectacles and saying meaningfully. “You and no one else.”

“‘Trusting me with this situation’?” He drummed his fingers on the armrest.

“Is that not what you would call telling you all this?”

Snape said nothing, taking another sip of tea. That was true too, he was sure, though this was one of those moments in which he could tell Dumbledore meant something more than just that.

Dumbledore stood, walking over to the window as if he had all the time in the world, and he wanted to enjoy some sunlight.

“That boy is not Voldemort,” he murmured, taking a sip of tea.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “Respectfully, Sir, I beg to disagree.”

“That boy is merely a young Tom Riddle: a teenager who looks like who Voldemort once was when he was young, and who has some of the personality of Tom riddle, and who, if given the right parameters, could become Voldemort. But he is not Voldemort now.”

“All he needs to become the Dark Lord again is to get his memory back, something which I do not think will prove altogether difficult.”

“Perhaps. But there is something else. After giving it careful consideration I find that my theory is sound.”

“What theory would this be?”

He paused, gathering his words. “It is my understanding that a door, once opened, can be walked through in either direction.”

Snape remained silent, waiting for him to tie the statement to their situation.

“What if I told you that our dear Ginny Weasley may not be dead?”

“I would say that is something we’d all like to hear, but that it would be wiser not to put your faith into fairy tales.”

“As I expected.” He turned, smiling. “However,” he began taking careful steps towards Snape, looking at his feet, “it is my personal inclination that the method by which he returned to the land of the living had a fatal flaw.”

“Which is?”

He looked up at him and stopped, saying meaningfully, “It required a young girl’s life.

“You see,” Dumbledore continued, “he will have assumed, of course, that her soul was destroyed in the process of bringing him back to life—her life merely energy to use up. But what if, as it were, he assumed wrongly? In my experience, human souls are far more resilient than that. What if, much like she poured herself into the diary, her soul was simply”—He took an extra teacup off the table—“poured into a new vessel:”—he poured the tea from his cup into the empty one—“The form of Tom Riddle himself.”

Pondering this for a moment, Snape looked away. As he did, Dumbledore returned to his seat once more.

Snape wanted to dismiss the theory right away, and intended to. However, the more Dumbledore explained it, and the more he thought about it…it wasn’t baseless. However—

“You are assuming a rather large amount with little to go on. We can’t base our decisions on a theory, especially one so far-fetched as the idea that the simple method of revival was enough for the soul of a young girl to persist.”

Far-fetched, perhaps…but then he thought of what he saw when he read the boy’s mind yesterday. The wall in his head. How there seemed to be something trapped behind it. Something alive.

“No, but we can let theories inform our decisions. If there is that chance, do you not think it worth exploring?”

“Are you proposing we let the young Dark Lord live on the very small chance we can salvage her soul from the brink? Or else that her presence within his soul will cause him to …what? Grow a heart? Forgive me but that sounds like a hopeless endeavor. Lamentable as the situation may be, we can’t sacrifice all of wizardkind for the soul of one little girl.”

Dumbledore sighed, and there was a heaviness to it. “No. I am afraid that it is unlikely the poor Ginny would be able to return to her original state. I am unsure if her soul is even fully intact. Or, further still, she may not be entirely aware of her current predicament herself either. When speaking of souls, it’s difficult to discern where consciousness resides. It would be unwise, however, to dismiss any of these options entirely either. Rather I am proposing that the presence of her soul is a variable with unprecedented possible outcomes.”

“This is the Dark Lord we’re talking about. I don’t think one little girl’s presence—be it within his soul itself—is going to make much difference.”

Dumbledore smiled. “You of all people should know it is unwise underestimate the influence of one little girl.”

Snape’s eyes widened, unable to keep himself from reacting to that. He turned his head away.

“The Dark Lord is incapable of love, of human emotion,” Snape muttered softly.

“Perhaps. However, personally I like to refrain from making such bold statements about even the cruelest of men. But, even so, it is for precise reasons such as those why I believe the simple presence of someone who is capable of love, of human emotion, within his soul, could make all the difference. As long as there is more holy water than plain, the whole vat becomes holy.”

Snape sighed, looking away. “It is a gargantuan risk for something that is nothing more than an educated hypothesis. What if you’re wrong?”

“Then I will face the consequences.”

“Then we all will face the consequences. Those consequences could easily be the destruction of all of either wizard or muggle-kind—or both. What would you do then?”

Dumbledore sighed. “You seem to be rather caught up in that.”

“I’m more surprised to find that you’re not. Unless there is some way to guarantee he won’t repeat his past sins, then I cannot entertain the thought of keeping him alive.”

“I think we may be able to work something out.”

Snape’s eyes narrowed. “This isn’t some misguided journey to erase your past sins, is it?”

“No.” Dumbledore smiled pleasantly. “It’s a misguided journey to try to erase his.”

“Think for a moment! If you are wrong, is there any reason you have to keep the Dark Lord alive, if not for the thought that perhaps Ginny Weasley yet lives within his soul? Any at all?”

“Oh yes, several in fact.”

Another eyebrow raise.

Dumbledore leaned forward on his desk. “I think you are underestimating the gravity of the opportunity we have been given. An opportunity which I do not believe will present itself again. We have been handed a young Tom Riddle—without memory, no less. Tom Riddle, who has yet to commit the crimes of his previous self.”

“Tom Riddle, who already exhibited little to no regard for others’ well-being! He felt no compassion upon seeing a corpse!” Anger reached his voice, he was very close to slamming his fist on the table.

“Yet he has hurt no one.”

“He’s only been around for a day.”

“A day which Voldemort could have easily spent hurting and killing as many people as he wished.”

Snape looked away. “One amnesic day does not determine the capacity of a life.”

“No, you are correct about that. But…try to imagine for a moment. Do you understand what kind of asset it would be if we were able to get a young Tom Riddle to come over to our side? If we could save him from becoming who he once was…it could save us all.”

“You’ve made this mistake before.”

“I’ve made this decision before. My mistake was in the fact that I did not realize just how much evil such a young boy was capable of. I know now what that boy could become—and already has once—and that it will take much more than a watchful eye to save him from the darkness lurking in his own heart.”

“Do you realize just how easy it would be for him to fall back into that darkness?”

“Which is why I want to keep him alive. To try to prevent him from making the mistakes of his past self. The key difference here, is that there is a chance he has light in him now, in the form of Ginny. If that’s true, we need only water that seed.”

“You don’t know that there’s light in him!” Snape stood abruptly sweeping around resting his hands the back of his chair.” At best that’s an informed hunch! Are you really willing to base such an important decision on that?! The only way to guarantee he won’t make the mistakes of his past self is to prevent him from making any decisions at all!

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Snape blinked. “Is that all this is to you? A bit of fun?” He spat.

“Of course not.” His smile dropped at last, along with his eyes to the desk. “A young girl’s life has been lost. I’d prefer not to lose another.”

“Even if that other life is the life of the Dark Lord?”

“It is not the life of the Dark Lord.” He traced his finger along the rim of his teacup. “It is the life of the young Tom Riddle, who is entirely unaware of the crimes of his previous self—or anything much at all. He has shown no immediate inclinations to harm others, even if he is a bit insensitive. Forgive me, but I do not think it right to simply dispose of him.

“There is another thought that gives me unease as well.” Dumbledore seemed unsure he wanted to say it aloud. He folded his hands and looked at down. “If it turns out that my theory is correct, and Ginny isn’t dead after all…if we decide to dispose of him now, we, and not he, will be the ones who killed her.” The words were altogether too soft.

Snape ran his hand through his hair. “So what do you propose we do with him? Keeping the young Dark Lord alive, and a secret, will be much more difficult than simply killing him.”

“Oh I’m not denying that. If all goes according to plan, there are a number of portraits and other such lingering spirits we will have to inform of the situation.” He eyed the portraits, which folded their arms, harrumphed and looked away.

“And you’re actually proposing that we teach him magic? To the point where, when he does remember who he is, he’ll have the means at his disposal to destroy us all?”

“If we don’t teach him magic, if and when he regains his memory, do you not think he would seek out those means on his own anyways? At least this way we’re teaching him in a controlled environment, where we know where he is, and how much he knows at any given time—not to mention we can decide how much caution to exercise in the smaller details of the situation.”

“Even so…we can’t place a sixteen-year old who knows nothing of magic in first year classes.”

“Nor am I proposing that we do so. I intend to have someone teach—or remind, rather; I think he will be quick to pick it back up—of the basics over the summer. It may not be an easy task to get permission from the ministry to allow a boy under seventeen to do magic over the summer, but I think I may be able to come up with something. Either that, or we may be able to hope they assume the one doing the magic is the wizard who already lives in the house.”

“You’ve told me he has a penchant for flattery that caused many teachers to let their guard down around him. I don’t think I have to tell you why I don’t think it wise to have just any wizard teach the young Dark Lord.”

“I fear you underestimate me, Severus. You really think I would choose just any wizard teach to him? In fact—if you’ll permit my saying—he’ll have a teacher who is rather stern, and won’t find himself so easily swayed by flattery.”

“And who is the lucky contestant?”

Dumbledore gave him a look strangely similar to the smirk of a mischievous schoolboy, running his fingers along his wand.

“I did tell you I was trusting you with the situation, did I not?”

Snape’s eyes widened. He took a step back as if he’d been physically hit.

“No.”

“You asked me if I was proposing that we teach him magic,” Dumbledore elaborated, “and, for the summer at least…Actually I’m proposing that you teach him magic.”

Snape rarely found himself struck dumb but in that moment he was at a loss for both words and actions. For a moment he wasn’t entirely convinced he hadn’t been placed under a powerful confundus charm.

“During the school year, of course, he’ll learn here.” Dumbledore continued. “That is, if aforementioned summer goes smoothly.”

Snape blinked, shook his head, as if trying to remove a wrackspurt. The only thing he could ask was:

“Why me?”

Dumbledore frowned. “I thought I’d made that rather obvious. Because—as you so well proved over the past few moments—no matter how kind, how flattering, how clever, he appears, you will always keep in mind who and what he is. And, if he shows any signs of becoming his past self—or future self, as it were—you will not hesitate to do what is necessary.”

“Is there a reason you can’t do this, Sir?”

“Oh, I’m an old sap, Severus. For all we know I might grow attached to the boy.”

“And you want me to…what?” He spat. “Invite him cordially to stay in my home,” He held out a hand and bowed, “feed him, coddle him, tell him what a good little boy he is,”—he clapped his hands—“all the while teaching him all sorts of dangerous spells?!”

“No. I will inform him of the situation. Then after that I am suggesting you take him to your house—you don’t have to be too terribly cheerful about it, merely as amicable as you are able—feed him, provide him a place to stay over the summer. I’m not suggesting you coddle him—though kindness is a virtue—rather give him both praise and criticism, and each in moderation. That you teach him the basics of magic, and the spells you think would be useful, but not terribly dangerous. I trust your judgment there wholeheartedly.”

Snape stared at a speck of dirt on the ground as if that could tether him to this moment, breath weighing heavy on his chest, his mind splintering into fractals of thoughts. How could Dumbledore possibly expect this of him?

“I feel like I’m forgetting something…” Dumbledore stroked his beard in thought. “Oh!” He held up a finger. “Yes. Harry will be staying with you as well.”

Snape jerked his head to look at him, and this time couldn’t hold back:

“WHAT?!”

“I’ll admit, it’s a bit—the poor boy has been through a lot, he won’t be fond of the idea—but I think it’s important that he and the young Tom Riddle become…Well let’s put it this way, I don’t think Harry giving him hateful glares in the hallways at school will help the situation. Currently both he and you seem to have more than enough of those to spare.”

“Oh yes, and forcing us all to live together will certainly solve that problem!”

“While it’s true that living with someone can indeed increase one’s distaste…I do find that living with someone forces you to build a bond of some sort with them, and sympathize with them, in ways you would never have otherwise.”

“You’re asking the three people in this school who have the greatest distaste for each other to spend three months in a confined space!” He spat. “Not only do I think the boy would likely kill one of us before the summer is over, I’d be surprised if we don’t all end up killing each other halfway through June!”

“Or…perhaps the three of you will come to a new understanding about each other.” Dumbledore was as calm as ever. Snape wanted to wipe that smug look of his face.

“I don’t see than happening any time soon.”

“You might be surprised.”

Snape leaned against a pillar, running his hand over his face. He knew from the beginning that he wasn’t going to win this argument, but this was more than a loss, it felt like a slap in the face.

“Don’t you understand?” Dumbledore resumed his previous argument. “Tom Riddle never had a single friend—even at this age his ‘friends’ were all merely supporters and worshippers. If he and the boy destined to destroy him—who will most certainly neither blindly worship nor support him—were to become something even remotely close to friends it could make all the difference. And I think Harry is the only one who can truly change him.”

“The Dark Lord doesn’t make friends. Even without memory I don’t believe he’ll have any inclinations to form attachments—especially not to someone like Potter. He himself said he feels hatred at the sound of Potter’s name.”

“Need I remind you once more this is not the Dark Lord we’re speaking of? Memoryless, and with the presence of Ginny inside him—who already has an affinity for Harry—I think there is at least some chance his opinions on Harry, as well as concepts such as friendship itself may change. He did mention that he hates the sound of Harry’s name, as well as mine, yes. However, when I asked him if it made him sad that he had no friends, for a brief second he said yes.”

“He corrected himself immediately afterwards.”

“In all my years teaching the boy, I never saw a single moment’s hesitation, especially on a question like that.”

Snape let out a breath.

“Doesn’t Potter need to stay with his aunt and uncle?” Snape rubbed his temple, feeling defeated, voice breathy, “His mother’s protection—”

“Oh he will stay with his aunt and uncle at first, still. However, I was discussing it with the portraits, and considering the strange situation, I find the rules may be a little different, don’t you?”

“Oh yes, have him live with the Dark Lord! That will keep him very safe!” Snape sighed, slumping in his chair once again, holding his head in his hand.

“It is not one of my safest ideas, I’ll admit. But you’ll be there, of course. And you haven’t given me reason to doubt that you’re up to the task of protecting him, should the need arise.”

“You expect too much of me. There is only so much I can do.”

“It is true you can only be so many places at once. But if I did not think you were capable of accomplishing such a task, I would not ask in the first place.”

“This is lunacy,” he breathed into his hand.

“I hope I haven’t fallen prey to madness just yet. But I will not rule out the possibility.”

Dumbledore paused, standing back up and walking around the desk. “I understand if you need more time to mull it over. I often find after jarring news a walk and a good bottle of mead do wonders.”

“I only have one guest room, Sir,” Snape muttered.

“Harry can sleep on the couch.” Dumbledore said pleasantly. “He’s very small, I’m sure you’ll barely notice him.”

Snape glared at him through his fingers. “…I think I’ll notice him.”

“You haven’t answered my most pressing concern. What’s to say the boy won’t get up and kill us both in our sleep?”

“…That doesn’t sound much like Harry at all.”

“The other one.”

“We will need to discuss what protections we should put in place, certainly. But you and I are both very smart, very skilled wizards. It would be disappointing if, putting our heads together, we are unable to come up with something.”

There was a long moment of silence. Snape put his hand in his hair, thinking of all the things that could go wrong, and had gone wrong before…or at least just how much annoyance such a living situation would provide, even if there was no real danger. No matter how much chaos may occur over the school years, his summers at least had always been quiet.

His next words were soft, but thick with emotion. “I don’t think it wise for him to live with me, Sir. I don’t think I could ever feel any kindness towards the man who killed her.”

“But,” Dumbledore’s voice was as gentle as a moth’s wing beat, no annoyance or exasperation in his tone at the fact that he had to keep repeating himself, “he is not the man that killed her. Not yet. And you have the unique chance of saving him from becoming that man.”

“Not a chance that could save her.”

“No, you’re right, that chance has long since passed. But you can save hundreds of other men and women just as kind as her.”

“No one is as kind as her.”

Dumbledore knelt down beside him, putting his hand on his arm, a certain twinkle in his eyes. “If you give it a chance…I think you may just find that Harry is.”

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 11: Behind the scenes (Part 4)

Warnings: mentions of trauma, underage drinking, mind manipulation, mentions of suicide

Author notes: there was some delay with that part because... That writer completely forgot to schedule for today... Do blame me XD Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Kunikida grumbled a lot when we had to return to Kabukichō, for I had promised that he would not need to go back again. I had not predicted that our investigation would take longer than expected. Even so, we had no choice but to wait for the illusionist at the bar, as the woman had told us. Supposedly, his show would end at eleven; we would get to meet him very soon.

"My favourite bar!" A man suddenly exclaimed as the door opened.

He confidently stepped toward a stool, next to us, and the bartender simply started preparing what I guessed was his usual order. He seemed in his fifties, his hair was greyish, and looked tall. His eyes were very blue and very clear, too. I barely glanced at him, not wanting to appear suspicious.

"You have clients, tonight." He noted "That's rare."

"Well, they came for you, after all." She sighed, putting a cocktail in front of him "Your favourite, gin tonic."

"They came for me? Are you supporters?" He chuckled.

"So you are Nazo-san." I stated, simply taking a sip of my whisky "We aren't supporters, we're investigators. We're here to interrogate you."

"What crime did I commit?" He hummed.

"None for now. We'd only like to hear about your connection to Taikin-san."

He froze and, slowly, put his drink down. His joyful face darkened and he looked at me seriously.

"Let's talk about that in another place."

The bartender brought us in the back of the bar, where no one could hear us. She closed the door behind her as she left us alone to discuss. Kunikida pulled out his notebook, ready to write down the confessions of the mentalist.

"So, you have something to do with Sakunosuke's kidnapping?" He asked.

"The boy was taken…?" He sounded surprised "By who…?"

"We don't know yet. However, we need to understand everything that's going on in that family to eventually find a lead." I said.

"I see… Well, I'll tell you everything I know about them."

Nazo Eita cleared his throat before starting his explanations.

"It was… Years ago…" He remembered "Taikin-san had found a woman. She had lost her arms and they had been replaced by prosthetics. She was traumatised, her body disgusted her… The only way for her to keep living was making her believe that it had been entirely replaced, thus why I put her under hypnosis and told her that she had been turned into a robot…"

"She had been sold and raped numerous times, am I right…?" I frowned, crossing my arms "It's horrible… How did you manage, for the kids?"

"I used hypnosis again. Obviously, the kids are hers, but… She really suffered to carry them. I erased that experience too, as well as the second child. She… She hated twins. She thought they meant bad luck. Taikin-san paid me and I… Just did my job…" He sighed "Believe me, I know it's unethical, and I hated having to do it."

"Raise the hypnosis." I demanded "It's a whole bunch of nonsense, Yumiko-san should see a therapist."

"And suffer from PTSD…?! I can't do that! Or have Taikin-san pay me and ask me himself…!" He protested "Anyway, I don't know why the young Sakunosuke-kun was taken away, I just hope you'll find him."

"We'll talk about that again." I shrugged "Thanks for your time. It was quite useful."

"Glad I could help." Nazo-san mumbled before leaving.

Kunikida closed his notebook and shoved it in his inner pocket, upset.

"How was that even useful…?!" He groaned "We've already deduced all of that…!"

"Indeed, but we now know who did that to Yumiko-san and why. I believe it wasn't to manipulate his wife, Taikin-san truly cares about her, but that doesn't quite explain why he wouldn't take care of his second son…" I muttered, thinking.

"I'm not sure it's important… Right now, we have to find Sakunosuke-kun."

"You're right." I agreed.

Suddenly, the phone rang. My coworker picked it up.

"What is it, Dazai? … Wait what? … You didn't follow her? … Why? … In the bathroom?! Dazai, you —"

Kunikida angrily put his phone back in his pocket before turning toward me.

"Yumiko-san escaped! She went out of the mansion and that useless bandage wasting device was too occupied in the bathroom to see it…!" He told me, unable to calm down.

"Bandage wasting device…? Wow, even Chūya didn't have as much imagination for his nicknames…" I mumbled.

"What did you say...?"

"Nothing at all." I looked at him "It's alright. Dazai has human needs too, he couldn't predict that woman would go out by herself while he would be occupied."

He could not predict. Even I did not believe what I had said. There was no way this person had not purposely left her without surveillance, but that meant he was suspicious of her. By letting her go, he had uncovered an important lead that we had to follow.

"Did we put a tracking device in her phone?"

"I don't know, I wasn't on the case at the beginning…!"

"It was Yosano-sensei who talked to her…" I sighed "I know what to do. Let's go back to the mansion not to let Kitaro-kun alone. Meanwhile, I'd like you to request access to the cameras of Yokohama. We'll try retracing her route with that."

"I'm on it… Even so, we're damned if she took a car…"

"We'll have to manage, somehow… That is too strange, we never even suspected her…"

"Do you think it could have been done without her consent? Because of mentalism, for example?"

I thought about the video I had taken of Kunikida, the other day.

"You might be right… But since we were with Nazo-san just a moment ago, it cannot be him… I'd rather think about an assistant or a student of some kind… Can I have Dazai's number, please? I'll talk to him about it while you discuss with the police." I requested.

"Sure. But I thought you had it?"

"He changed his number and, ever since, I haven't had an opportunity to save his new one. Thanks."

We walked to the train that would take us back to the Taikin mansion in Yokohama. Things were getting out of hand and we still did not know why the businessman would trust us with his family. I dialed my friend's number.

"Dazai, it's Ogawa. Yes, Kunikida gave it to me… Mmh… I'd like you to start interrogating the servants. We deduced perhaps one of them was able to use mentalism too and triggered Yumiko-san to leave the mansion. Can you keep an eye on Kitaro-kun, too? Thanks…"

At the same moment, an announcement was made in the train station.

"Dear customers. Due to an unexpected accident, the trains are suspended for the moment. May you forgive us for the inconvenience —"

"What's going on…?" Kuninida mumbled.

We asked an employee for information and learnt that someone had committed suicide by throwing himself in front of a train. It was not too odd, but we requested to see the victim anyway. We were led to the scene, and our eyes widened.

The man who had committed suicide was Nazo Eita-san.

[kosmosian-quills]

Long Live the Queen

I was inspired by the @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt “Childs Play”. I know I’m probably too late to enter this one but it’s where the inspiration comes from XD

I’ve got @cirianne to thank for her advice on this scene. Honestly starting this scene was the worst but ilysm for your patience and feedback <3

“Princess.”

The stern voice brings my focus back to them, and my immediate task of pulling faces at my little sister is interrupted by our very unamused professor, his gaze irritated and intimidating.

“As entertaining as it may be to ignore my lecture, I do not appreciate you acting like children and insulting my intelligence by distracting your sister and yourself with juvenile tendencies.” He says, leaning over me with his arms folded, book still in one hand, and his cane in the other. “Even if you are not the heiress to the throne, you should at least be able to make conversations about the other nobilities in Europe.”

“But it’s all about old, dead people. Why do grown-ups want to talk about all these dead people anyway? They can’t come back to life and do anything now.”

“Knowing these things prevents you from embarrassing not just yourself, but your father. How do you think it looks if his daughters cannot talk about these things? You can’t expect any guests we have to educate you on things you should already know, Princess.”

I look down at the book in front of me, the same one he was reading out of and expecting us to follow along with. I nod at the professor, my cheeks burning red.

“Sorry, professor,” I reply, managing to snag a glance at Maria, and she looked as embarrassed as I did.

He unfolded his arms, and continued to read from the book in that same, boring, monotonous tone as before. It’s no wonder I started messing around with my sister earlier, because it’s all just so dull. Maria’s almost reckless attempts at entertaining us both are what gets us through these lectures.

He didn’t seem to notice how Maria was back to drawing little circles on her parchment in front of her, and that she was not paying any attention to him because of it. No doubt if the old man would look up and see what she was doing, this *insolence* would be reported to our father – his Majesty the King – in absolutely no time at all.

Well, as soon as father returns from his trip that is.

I make eye contact with Maria and she looks up at me, clearly not caring about learning today. I don’t want her to get in trouble, so I nod in the direction of the professor, silently imploring her to at least stop wasting parchment. Even if he didn’t realise she was not listening, having evidence of her distraction is just more grounds for getting her in more trouble later.

She does stop, though, and sits up in her creaky wooden seat.

It’s enough, she knows I don’t want her in trouble, but she knows she isn’t helping herself here.

Looking back at my book, reading the words on the old paper, I’m suddenly reminded of the monotony of these lectures. I can’t wait until we’re done here, so that me and Maria can go and play around in the rock pools at the edge of the castle. The hot summer makes it nice to play in. It’s not like we’ll be alone, there are plenty of guards around and of course our mistress comes too, if only to keep Maria from causing too much mischief. It’s a nice way to pass the time until father and Elżbieta return to join us for dinner.

But that daydream was shattered by the sounds of frantic footsteps outside, followed by sharp knocks on the heavy wooden door.

The door opened, and in stepped Sir Dusza, head of the Royal Guard himself, followed by a small group of his men, fully suited and not at all what we were expecting. Even Maria stopped fiddling around and sat up straight.

He didn’t look happy. He didn’t look at all pleased.

But then again, what was he doing? Why was he here? I don’t know of any event that requires him to escort us anywhere. Besides, I thought he was supposed to be with my father today, escorting him north…

“What is the meaning of this?” the professor asks, looking at the knights as they file in.

“Your highness,” he addresses me, bowing his head slightly, and instantly I know that something is wrong. He turns to the professor, briefly. “Forgive the intrusion, professor, but I have some news I need to impart upon the Princesses.”

I manage to catch a glimpse of the look on his face before the professor excuses himself from the room. Devoid of colour, pursed lips, and wide eyes.

“Sir, what is…?” I start to rise from my seat, and those words are all I can manage as I see the painful look in his eyes. He knows something’s not right, he knows that I know that much.

He clears his throat, kneels down to our level, and begins to speak.

“As you are aware, his Majesty the King - your father - and your sister were on their way north to meet with the lords there,” he speaks slowly, not actually making eye contact with me. Maria is still seated next to me, turned completely around, and he keeps looking at her too. “I am so very sorry, your highnesses, but the carriage was run off the road when the horses got scared...”

I don’t quite hear what he says after that, because all I can hear now is a dull ringing and my head feels so dizzy. The room around me feels like it’s spinning out of control, but Sir Dusza is still knelt before me, his head hung low, still speaking to us, but I’m not quite… not quite sure what he’s saying.

“No, no!” Maria is the only thing I can hear next. “Elka, no, no!”

It feels… it doesn’t feel real. It feels like he’s lying, like he’s joking. There’s no way this is true. Father – he isn’t, he can’t be –

“My sincerest condolences, your majesty.”

Those words, that little thing he ended on is what snaps me back to reality.

Your majesty.

It doesn’t feel real at all, it feels like a lie. It feels undeserved on all accounts. I was never meant to be addressed this way. It was always supposed to be Elżbieta, of the three of us. I’ve known my entire life that I would be your highness.

But this, it feels like I’ve stolen something precious from someone I love. It feels like I’ve taken something that never was mine, and never was *meant* to be mine.

Elżbieta – the one who spent those countless hours with father, learning his craft and doing everything to make her road to regency much smoother – is gone forever.

Leaving me to pick up the reigns from several miles behind her.

“There is much for you to do now, your majesty, to take the crown. I need you to come with me.”

I nod once, blinking and barely aware of the tears that streamed down my face. The knight before me stands tall, and stands aside, letting me make my way to the door of the classroom. I reach to my left and take a hold of Maria's hand, snivelling and crying the way she is.

I'm all she has left now, as she is all I have.

“Long live Queen Katarzyna.”

This statement from the head of the Royal Guard is immediately followed by all the guards echoing his words in unison.

Long live Queen Katarzyna!

A statement that, even now, still feels foreign and undeserved. For the longest time, it should have been Queen Elżbieta.

But that’s not what’s happening here, now.

Instead, my father’s country is in my hands. The hands that would have been playing childish games with my sister if I hadn’t heard this news.

Long live the Queen indeed. I’ll need all the time I can get, if only so I don’t bring my country to its knees whilst still in its infancy.

More than one Princess died today with the King, because now, only one remains beside its new Queen.

[butididnottried]

The Firebending Masters

I just couldn't bring myself to start watching this episode. Before i was like "yesss, bring me all the awkwardness" but then i was like "oh fuck oh shit no i'm a dumb dumbass that can't handle awkwardness and embarrassment well". Luckily Zuko trying to interacting with the rest wasn't that bad. But, he really don't know how to interact, huh? Zuko, baby, just... chill a little. Ya know, work on your upbeat attitude. xD

Let's be honest, those eastern dragons look just weird with wings. How their long bodies even keep up? Ok, i guess that since only sky bisons are the only animal airbenders the dragons can't also fly just like that because of reasons. But still.

So, they looked a bit on a pretty, rainbow fire and we're like "ah yes we understand". Good for you boys. I do not get it at all. How do people uderstand things just by looking at them?

They have a one big fire that's burning for thousands of years. So, even at the beginning firebenders we're extra.

I didn't metion it earlier but why badger moles are so frikin big? Moles are really tiny, seriously, they're tinier that you would expect. And badgers are... average, i guess? There's nothing about these animnals that says "put togehter = elephant size".

Zuko is there for a day and a half, trying no more to murder everyone, and Sokka is immediately ready to mess up with him. Bless this boy.

The Boiling Rock, Part 1

Ok, honestly, Boiling Rock is kind of a stupid name. But now i learned that it's a literal boiling rock. A big rock in the middle of a boiling lake. In a volcano of course, because that's just how the fire nation is rolling. That's just funny.

They stole a whole fridge for people and no one noticed. Yeah, let's say it, these guard are not, hmmm... to not to be too rude... not very good at their job.  But i also don't get how this whole chunk of a metal don't get incredibly hot in this lake. Did i miss something? ??? And later no one was able to tell that this very suspiciously behaving teenager that just showed up a few days ago is a mole. Maybe that's just how fire guards works? With tennage interns, or something. Because why not. Or maybe Sokka is just that genius master of disguise.

They separated Hakoda and Bato. ):

I don't know why but Mais uncle design is... Idk what it is, but there's something about him that dosen't seem right. I look at him and... I Just Don't Know. Something Wrong. So... meaty?

Sokka is fully aware that even when he is planning everything out, the results are not necessarily good. Zuko at leat accepted that he's a dumbass that is doing things without thinking, but it looks like he's still not aware that everything end for him more or less good. And they're such dumb champs together. Amazing.

Appa is such a baby they need to throw food into his mouth. Aaaaw.

Hotsquats. HOTSQUATS.

The Boiling Rock, Part 2

AzUla iS PeOplE PerSon And she just shoot up herself like a rocket. Dynamite gal.

Meat of friendship and fatherhood. Yeak, ok, sounds about right. In order to be a dilf you need to be also beefy. I guess.

Maybe show me this heart to be broken and love stronger than fear before you try to made me care about it? Because cuddly teenagers are not particularly emotional and moving. No? Oh, ok. I read analysis about power dynamics between Mai, Ty Lee and Azula, how their friendship works and how it not works, but this betrayal still looks much like it get out of nowhere.

Riot. RIOT. RiOT riOt RioT rioT rrriooot rRriOoOt riooot rIOt lol

Damn, Suki know how to get shit done. And i love how is she an equal match to Ty Lee, so far the most dangerous  hand to hand fighter.

They stole a whole Big Adult War Baloon and just like that they flew back to the temple, huh.

The Southern Raiders

OOOoooh! So, yeah, Aang, if violence is never the answer what you're going to do when you finally meet firelord Ozai, eh? Ok, i know what's he gonna do, but it's weird that untill now he didn't thought about it at all. I guess that before the sun eclipse he didn't worried about how to defeat Ozai because he was supposed to be powerless, but now? Yeah Aang, yeah, whatcha gonna do when you come for him?

Why Sokka and Suki are so secretive about their relationship? Like, probably everyone knows about them. I bet it was Sokka idea and Suki just rolled with it just to humour him. And because it's cute and funny.

So Appa is so traumatized by tunnels that he would faced an air ships shooting bombs and fire at him in such intensity it looks like they shoot lasers.

Ok, Katara putting together her anger at Zuko and hatred towards all fire nation because of her mother being murdered makes sense. She was suppressing all her negative emotions for so long, no wonder that she even burst out at Sokka like that. As awful as it was, it’s understandable. Althought it would be nice to see her apologizing to him instead of talking with Aang about how she still do not forgave that man for what he done. I guess that people are having issues with Katara being angry at Zuko and overall angry is because we do not saw too much interactions between them. He just joins in, goes on two adventures and boom, i want my mother back! Not enough episodes with Zuko just dickin around with gaang and having bigger and lesser arguments.

But i also like how they showed that despite being full of hatred and anger Katara still wasn't able to kill. To commit murder herself. It's not that easy to kill someone, just like forgiveness is not easy. You can’t just say that you forgive or try to convince yourself into feeling like that. But you can somehow start to move on without it. But tbh Katara all this time was thinking about this man as a monster and that what she was exptecting to meet. And she found... well, we all know how he turned out to be. How do you gonna kill someone so pathetic?

I took your mothers life so you can take my mother, that's the only fair way, and i'm just like lololol xD

So, Sokka want to borrow Momo for a few days, who know for what, he most obviously do not. He just plans to get Momo and then maybe some adventure finds them on it's own.

Sooo, they we're just sleeping there like nothing happened and apparently we're surprised when attack happened. lmao seriously? No one got even half of a thaught that this big ass ship was followed? Hm it would be nice if someone else heard Azula celebrating becoming the only child. Sokka would made a good joke about how fucked up of a siblings they are.

The Ember Island Players

Actress playing Aang was so adorable and cute and precious.

Toph get a big, muscle guy that is defeating 10 people at once while making sarcastic ripostes. That's accurate in, like, 99,9%.

Sokka, a fan of comedy, was so happy and proud when actor playing him used Sokkas jokes and audience loved it. I think that our boy can start writing plays. He could be this world Shakespeare with his sense of humor.

Yes, Jet just died and they couldn't care less. Also he got a flower instead of that wheat. Nice.

Using ribbons to show firebending is a pretty good idea.

The fire nation is not immune to fire nation propaganda plays.

But how they find out about all these events? Like, what happened under Ba Sing Se in crystal caves? Who was their informant? ...Azula herself?

What's going on about Katara and having hope?

The cringe, oh the cringe that gaang was experiencing, it's just beautiful. xD

But seriously, how long is that play?

They should turn it into musical lol.

Aang, you're just 12. Stop thinking about being romantically with someone. Seriously. And do not kiss anyone on a lips without consent. Boy, you need a proper education about boundaries. And take example from Katara - it's a war, there's no time for things like that. Tbh i have nothing against kataang, but it's not handled very well through whole show. There was more scenes with some romantic tension that we're amiss than good. :/

Also, it feels like there's at least one episode missing when at the beginning they're suddenly in Zukos family old house on the ember island. I do noy necessarily need to see every step of their journey, like talking about where to go, and then to go there and getting cozy and all that. But the difference between ending of previosu episode and beginning of this is kind of too much. Especially when it ended on such strong emotional moment for Aang.

[jess-the-vampire]

What are your thoughts about tom and Star episode?

I kinda feel like the fandom is overreacting to this episode, cause honestly, i really actually enjoyed it.

As someone who doesn’t hide the fact i’m not a fan of the love plot and was going to be watching how they handled this arc VERY closely, i actually don’t mind how this episode brought up complaints I had about star’s relationship with tom to further work on.

And yes, i consider this episode the start of a star arc, i don’t believe it was meant to resolve anything, i believe it exists to bring star’s attention to how she’s been treating tom for years.

Because i’ve seen the fandom complain “They didn’t talk about it at all or resolve it!”, but i think that’s the point. I feel like the episode was meant to bring star’s behavior to her attention, and the season going forward we’ll see how she reacts to learning about how she’s been treating tom.

The episode does not just simply revolve around the kiss, it brings up the matter of star constantly putting marco over tom, and acknowledges that she doesn’t notice all the hard work tom has put into his relationship with her for years, which were things I certainly noticed and pointed out in s3. So i’m glad the crew also noticed it and brought it up here.

This episode, was here to show Star how she’s been treating him, and i’m honestly happy the show gave us an episode where star’s being called out for her actions….and it’s actually not nearly as malicious as i think some were expecting.

I think what matters going forward, is how star and her relationship with tom changes, whether star chooses to spend more time with tom (Which is how the episode ends), acknowledge his efforts, and stop keeping things from him. 

For once, instead of Marco and Star changing Tom for the better, it’s the other way around. Star perhaps fixing the mistakes she made for Tom would be Tom helping HER change for the better.

And i like that tbh, it’s kinda impressive that Tom has arguably become the most mature out of these three lately.

And i think based on what we are told in this episode, i don’t mind how Tom handles it. Why? Because apparently Marco told Tom all the details of what exactly happened at some point. So according to Tom, he was told the whole thing was sorta a misunderstanding and a mistake, marco didn’t leave him wondering if star had kissed marco under different circumstances.

And Tom, out of ANYBODY in this show, should be the guy to understand when mistakes happen and forgive them. So since he believes it to have been an accident and a mistake, it makes sense why Star NOT telling him bothers him way more then the kiss, because regardless of it being a mistake, Star should’ve told him that this happened, not marco.

(it’s also good the show allows Tom to be hurt and knows Star is the one in the wrong here, that Tom should be understandably mad about this. So thanks for that show).

I was under the impression marco would not tell him all this, and i think under those circumstances, tom should be more visibly upset because he may feel like he had been betrayed. But the fact he knows the full situation they were under makes me alright with his actions in the episode.

Also i think it’s weird the fandom keeps saying star needs to accept she likes marco, as though we didn’t already have episodes around that. I think she’s fully aware she likes marco, i just think she also likes being with tom just fine. 

Knowing she likes marco ≠ immediately dumping Tom.

I had a feeling they weren’t gonna break up in this episode, and i’m happy i was proven right because i wasn’t entirely sure. But i had a feeling the show wanted to do more with their relationship and well, tbh it was way too predictable for them to pull another jarco.

So i like them choosing to go another direction, while being aware of the issues star presented in their relationship.

People might be mad the show is keeping up the love plot, but honestly i really didn’t think the show would drop it so soon. Though i am glad it’s not the MAIN focus so far in the season, i think this is really the only episode that actually involves it at all. So it’s already an improvement over s3.

When i heard this was tom’s family lake house, i was really hoping his family would be in the episode with him, because his parents got an introduction and make me VERY curious, and i felt like they should come back in future episodes…even if it’s not very often.

So i was happy when the episode started and there was a giant demon queen in full view.

What i didn’t expect though, was that Tom’s parents were important to the episode’s PLOT. I kinda expected them to be side characters, but the plot of the episode is kicked off by, and revolves around, Tom’s mother, so i’m rather happy these characters got to be a bit explored here.

His parents are also really adorable and fun to watch.

I mean, it’s already hilariously bizarre enough these two are married, but i got a lot more humor and personality out of them in this episode. 

Dave’s so unfazed by his demon lifestyle and family, and i kinda enjoy how normal this is to him. I guess when you live in the underworld this long your relatives coming out of walls and your son blowing up tables just get to be normal to you.

And Tom’s mom, the one who gets more attention between the two, is portrayed as a REALLY protective mom who really loves and adores her child. And it’s actually really cute.

Since tom’s family was originally going to be abusive it’s kinda delightful how much his reworked parents and family love and adore him. Even if that raises some questions about tom’s behavior in earlier episodes that had alluded to him being under abusive parents.

This episode also confirms some things about them:

Dave and Wrath both seem to share some anger issues, Wrath seems to be WAY more silent about her anger then her husband though, who really didn’t hide his anger in Club Snubbed. So whatever issues tom has, seems to come from both of them, not one or the other.

Wrath does speak only in demon, cause it was hard to tell if she was speaking in english and her voice made it sound weird or demon back in Club snubbed. Her sister knows English though and wrath understands English so i dunno if she just chooses to speak in demon tongue or can’t really speak it herself (Which might be the answer). I do think it’s cute her husband and son translate for her though. 

Wrath was not the first in line for the throne, she was the little sister (Lol). The episode doesn’t make it clear why she overpassed her sister, but it seems maybe her older sister wasn’t nearly as into it XD

Also what the heck do tom’s demon grandparents look like if THESE are their daughters?

It doesn’t fully answer if Dave and Wrath being together is a problem to the underworld, though then again Tom’s great grandfather was seemingly screeching at Dave at one point so i dunno if that was meant to represent he doesn’t like him or tom’s great-grandpa just likes to yell at everyone. (Also i can’t believe he lives in the wall of this lake house and they all just LET him XD).

Also i know people are gonna blame tom for talking to his mother about the situation, but considering the only friends tom seems to have are MARCO and STAR. Tom’s a little limited if he wants to talk to anyone about how he feels on something like this.

So i don’t see there being an issue with him needing to talk to his mother about how he’s feeling, he probably just didn’t think his mom would take it to such an extreme (Although granted, i think her worrying star is going to hurt her son AGAIN after knowing about the kiss, is understandable given how much she cares about him).

And the fandom’s saying this is all a guilt trip and though i can see where it’s coming from. I also think it’s kinda important to show star how much she’s hurt tom and have her work on fixing it. 

It wouldn’t exactly be a better option for star to be aware of how she’s hurt tom, and then continue to do the exact things she had been doing to hurt tom by the end of the episode, cause then it just makes it look like she doesn’t care or try to change from that.

And at least the event she had been leaving for was…making dinner, so it’s not something super important she would’ve missed out on.

I also like that this episode seems to confirm Star does genuinely like Tom, she’s not using him.

As far as nitpicks?

Well as much as i love seeing baby tom, his tail is not red and his eye markings are in his baby pics which now brings the whole “Are they makeup or not” argument back up. Unless tom’s tail changed colors as he got older or his makeup isn’t to do with his markings i’m a little confused there.

I do think wrath forgives star maybe a bit quickly despite how understandably upset with her she was. But then again star did save tom’s life and she was probably more upset that HER OWN anger put her son in danger to be mad at her.

Dave also doesn’t react to tom being in danger, which i get why because Wrath is the parent that’s focused on, i just think it’s weird he wasn’t given any reaction to his son being in danger.

I really wish star apologized to tom for this whole thing, or even marco for that matter. But we’ll see what happens later on.

Is star ever going to learn to stop running away from her issues? Because the fandom has tried to say over and over again she’s learned but it seems the show says no because she keeps on doing it.

Small touches i liked?

Tom mentioned the hypothetical scenario that he had kissed marco, and he’s entirely serious about it, it’s not played off as a joke.

Dave being animated to comfort wrath when she’s visibly upset.

The carriage being something Tom made by hand, i think that adds a little more to his actions in BMB knowing how much effort he went through to impress star and how sadly it didn’t go right.

The show remembered tom’s weird tattoo.

I think it’s weird how normal the tom-star-marco dynamic is in Swim Suit, but it does seem in this episode Tom had been waiting for star to speak up on the matter, and only spoke up now because he accepted she was still not going to say anything to him and probably wouldn’t have. So i can understand why tom’s so normal beforehand, he had most likely wanted to treat everything as normal, hoping star would talk to him about this, and it’s kinda sad she never did.

All in all, i honestly had fun.

I can understand the frustration with an episode like Booth Buddies because of what it did and that based on the rest of the season it really worried people about where it might go.

But this episode reassured me and i’m really interested in where the rest of the season goes tbh. I like that it subverted the expectations of the fans and i enjoy how it did, and i think this episode opens up the door for further growth for star, and her relationship with both tom and marco and i want to see that.

I had a good time, and even though it’s not flawless i think how good it is depends on what star does after it and being aware of her flaws from now on.

Really nice episode, i’m excited to see the episodes that will soon follow it.

[lokikingofasgardslover713]

Ch2: Wishful Thinking

Masterlist

The Auction House Masterlist

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson X OFC

Warnings: Angst, blood

Summary: Loki gets more than he bargained for while we learn why she refuses to remember the god as her soulmate. it begins to get noticed there is something between Loki and the newest acquired soldier that Loki is working hard to hide and one team member puts it all together in a matter of minutes. Will this be used against the dark god?

A/N: Sorry for the slow update, October wiped me out! XD

Words: +4,900

_______

This was playing out the same as the dream from earlier that morning. Loki knew this would happen, he seen it, it was real, all he had to do was simply take the shard of glass she held out to him. Treasure, would yield to him and this entire ordeal would be over, granting the two of them the rest of the evening to become acquainted.

Reaching out to wrap lithe fingers around the shard of glass, Loki noted the same innocence from the vision he had earlier. It appeared this was not the way she wanted him to see her. Finally Treasure met his gaze, a sparkle in violet eyes told Loki this wasn’t the soulmate from his dream, this was a creature desperate to escape and he had made a mistake.

Surprised by the woman's sudden emotional shift, the thick framed soldier was on the god in no time, slamming Loki to his back into a pile of medical instruments gouging his spine. Letting out a pained grunt, in irritation the god glared up at Treasure.

This wasn’t the plan, the shuffle outside of the room told Loki, this wild-eyed creature needed to be subdued before the others reached them, regardless if he was trying to keep up the appearance he cared little for her. Loki wasn’t concerned with himself being hurt, far from it as the shard of glass pressed to his throat, nicking the flesh as the rush of the door gliding open reached their ears.

Violet orbs flared wide; Treasure didn’t dare look away from the man under her as two others rushed in. “Forgive me, Treasure,” the man she pinned whispered.

Forgive him? For what? He was the one pinned. The others hurried closer as Treasure flicked her wrist to slice across the man’s throat, but a hard thrust to her chest took all breath, sending a shock through her system and hurling her backwards.

Scrambling to bare feet, the woman hadn’t counted on the other being this strong. The shard of glass gone, a sting left in its wake as it had been plucked effortlessly from her hand and clattered somewhere across the room. Glaring down the men as they inched close, the dark haired one closer than the two blondes.  

A familiar tickle at the back of her mind made Treasure falter as Loki made the first move. Turning her head at the flare of pain but managed to focus back on the dark god. There was no way she was going without a fight. Moving quick to take out the one in green and black leathers, brain beginning to throb worse as it tried to recall a memory suppressed.

Gently Loki overpowered Treasure, his soulmate, wrapping strong arms around thick form, pulling shivering back flush to his chest, pinning wildly flailing arms at her side. Violently she thrashed in his hold, and still she had yet to speak a word.

How could she not know who he was? She had to have dreamed of him, knew what they meant to one another. This had to be tearing her apart as well. The fight making Loki’s chest ache with the realization this wasn’t the meeting hoped for between the two of them.

If Treasure was like the others from the auction, that meant she had no memories, no clue to who she was let alone who Loki was. Or that was until they began to work with her to regain memories, if she wanted it.   

Going limp in the dark headed man’s hold, she had tried, but he was entirely too strong. “As trifling as these do-gooders are, they mean well,” the man’s gritty voice echoed in her ear as he began to direct her back to the chair, thick frame tensing at the sight of it.  

Unexpectedly the dark god wrapped one arm tighter around her torso to free the other. The feel of lithe fingers lacing into tangled hair was comforting. Instinctively eyes fluttered closed, body going limp as if it trusted the man. A slight buzz filled her ears, vibrated through exhausted mind until lithe fingers retreated, and violet orbs fluttered open, body stiffening once more. 

“What’s wrong,” Steve spoke, stepping closer along with Thor. The blond soldier could tell something was off, but wasn’t sure what it was, just that this wasn’t the Loki he had been dealing with over the past months.  

“Might I suggest you consider another way,” Loki spoke, hinting to the chair, the woman glaring at the raven-haired god over her shoulder. Damn, if looks could kill Loki swore he would have died on the spot, studying her tired features over, noting a flash of pain in her eyes before she looked away. 

“Yeah,” Steve huffed, watching Loki turn, the woman cradled intimately close. What the hell was with Loki today?

“F.R.I.D.A.Y,” Steve began, speaking to the room, Treasure eyeing the three close.

Who the hell was he talking to? The other two men in the room didn’t move a muscle but looked as if they expected someone to answer. It was just them in the room, wasn’t it? Tugging to test the grip of the dark-haired man only for his free arm to effortlessly snake around her once more. Appeared she was a mild inconvenience.

“Yes Captain Rogers,” the room itself lilted in a feminine voice, Treasure furrowing brows while carefully shifting in the others hold.

This one had an iron grip, a delicate shift had bare toes off the floor. Muscles twitched in efforts of inconveniencing the man holding her only for him to act as though she hadn’t moved. A warm huff of air across her ear was the only sign this was bothering him.  

“Have Shuri send in one of the beds,” the captain spoke up, watching the woman struggle with Loki who appeared to have Treasure under control. Steve seen the fight in her eyes, the desire to get free and the mistrust of them all. The Captain even caught the forlorn look in green orbs for a split second, making the blond soldier realize this ran deeper than a show of power for Loki.

One more violent jerk had Loki letting out a low huff, Thor watched the two of them battling over an unseen bet. There was something to this, stepping up to the woman the golden god easily deflected the bare foot she kicked out to keep him from getting too close, ignoring the glaring look she shot him.

“Easy, none of us want to hurt you,” Thor spoke up, noting Loki held the woman in a position that prevented Treasure from being hurt by her own or the younger gods hand. Dare the older think Loki was being gentle with the mortal?

Treasure wanted to spit, to curse at them, but programming forbid it. Unsaid words made tired jaw clamp shut painfully hard; teeth gritting as they studied her close. The sound of the door opening made them look towards the entrance to note Shuri stepping in with a table hovering off the floor.

Once it was stopped in a fairly clean space of floor, Loki hauled Treasure to it without being told. The god felt her tense but still allowed him to sit her on the soft surface. Hesitantly Loki released his grip, taking slow steps back while violet orbs glared daggers. It made Loki’s heart ache worsen, the fact his very own soulmate, the one he had waited the better part of a thousand years for did not recognize him, having not a clue what they were meant to be.

In moments the techs came back to right the room, Loki taking a step to the far wall next to the door to watch over them. Placing hands behind his back, the dark god focused on what the teen was explaining about the neuro leads. Loki studied how his soulmate placed steady hands in her lap, looking them over as it appeared she tuned out, but knew she heard every word.

The glint of polished, yet worn leather caught the god’s eye as a tech passed. “May I see that,” Loki began, making the tech stop, hinting to the book.

“Yeah, just don’t read it out loud,” they stated, handing it over as Loki noted Steve step next to Shuri.

Flipping open the book, Loki looked over the worn pages, committing it to memory but pausing a few pages in on a diagram that appeared to be some type of control. Going over the illustration depicting in detail the use and location of the device, Loki noted it was anchored along the base of Treasure’s skull. Looking away from the book to the violet eyed woman the moment realization dawned on Loki what exactly the thing done.   

Taking a step next to Shuri with Thor close, Loki noted the child like innocence his mate watched the young woman with. It appeared the gentle nature of the Wakandan was lost on Treasure, watching muscles visibly tense in preparation for pain. Studying his mate close, Loki never realized he had drawn Thor’s attention.

“I believe you should see this,” came the dark gods irritated voice, making Shuri pause at the suddenness of it.

The young woman appeared to take the gods attitude in stride as techs carefully placed neuro leads back into the others bleached hair. Taking the book, they seen Treasure shift uncomfortably, violet eyes nervously scanning the diagram.

Knowing the device all too well, it was a major breakthrough, one stopping all dreaming and memories from resurfacing.

Shuri studied it quickly before handing it back, stepping around the gurney to stand behind the other, barking an order in Xhosa to the techs. A hologram popped up in the young woman’s hand mirroring the gadget in the journal perfectly, but it showed it as it sat against the base of the woman's skull, tendrils leading from it and through all 6 lobes.  

“They didn’t want you dreaming or remembering did they,” the teen asked, tracing the leads with her eyes. Slowly the hologram filled out with bright colors that sparked and moved, it was the current read out from the leads the techs had placed.

Fidgeting with her fingers, the woman looked hatefully over her shoulder at the hologram. It was still not an order, so she took to staring off in the midground once more.

Shuri let out a huff, knowing what Treasure needed to hear before answering. “They wanted you to forget, to stop dreaming, didn’t they? Answer me, that is an order,” the teen commanded, watching the woman's gaze focus on her as if she had slapped the other, the diagram of Treasure’s brain flared to life.

“What do you think you are doing,” Loki bit out harshly catching them all off guard, they had no right to order his soulmate like a dog. Though, the moment he snipped at the teen Loki realized his mistake, and glad they ignored him for once.

“Yes,” Treasure spoke up, breaking the tension with an oddly clear tone. Violet gaze flickered over Loki, a flare to the frontal lobe on the hologram made tired eyes squint before taking to staring off midground once more. She could sense them watching her and the readout, no doubt curious to the flares of activity.

“It appears a memory is trying to surface every time she looks at us. I have seen the exact same with Bucky except he was able to remember,” Shuri spoke up, free hand reaching up to turn the hologram hovering in her hand.

No, it's me, Loki thought, making a small movement, his boot crunching on shattered vials. Once more the frontal lobe flared, when Treasure’s gaze flicked to his boots which appeared to create another flare. That confirmed it, whether she knew or not the rest of her did, it was relief but heartache all the same, a thing Loki was all too familiar with.

Thor watched his brother close, every move the dark god made had the read-out flaring to life. Not betraying his discovery, the older god studied Treasure, he was no stranger to the look his brother sat the woman with. There was only one other deserving of that look and she was Loki’s late wife Sigyn.

Now Thor knew why Loki had been sleeping. There was no doubt the younger god had been dreaming of the woman sitting lifeless on the gurney. All, -meaning mortals, Aesir, frost giants-, had dreams, visions of their soulmates and Thor knew Sigyn hadn't been Loki’s. Though the dark god had loved the fateful Aesir until her dying breath, the older god knew the younger dreamed of another.

Their mother always told them it was because Treasure hadn’t been born then, most gods, never found their soulmate until they were a thousand years old. Knowing Loki didn’t want attention drawn to the fact he watched over the woman protectively, Thor thought it best they leave.

“Brother,” Thor spoke getting Loki’s attention, the younger god turning from Treasure to look at him as if deep in thought. “How about we go get something to eat?”

“Go on,” Loki hinted to the door before turning back to watch the others closely.   

As Thor hesitated, Loki eyed Shuri close as she began to gently move the disheveled mess of bleached hair to press nimble fingers along Treasure’s hairline. Noting the diagram change to show Shuri’s fingers pressing into the base of her skull. It caused no flares unlike when the woman looked at Loki, the young woman speaking in Xhosa but the two gods, along with Treasure understood.

“You understand me don’t you,” Shuri hummed, pressing along the device before taking a step back, Treasure nodding she did understand, making the teen smirk.

“I believe I have all I need at the moment,” Shuri began as she stepped around the gurney, eyeing Loki who made an odd move but appeared to stop himself.

Damn. He needed to watch how he moved around the others, having almost reached out to help Treasure from the gurney. If they knew, they would exploit their weaknesses, especially when they removed the device. It should be straight forward honestly, with Asgardian technology that was.

Shuri’s people were advanced but still lacked sophistication in several methods of healing. Maybe he could think of a way to take his mate to New Asgard. They had a soul forge, even after the destruction they were able to build another.

“Why don’t you take her to her room,” Shuri spoke up, eyeing Loki as Thor and Steve done the same. They noted the god appeared deep in thought, hands placed behind his back once more.

“Loki,” Thor spoke up, breaking the dark gods gaze on Treasure.

“What,” Loki, snapped looking more than irate with the golden god as he turned to him.

“Why don’t we accompany Steve to her room, in case he needs help,” Thor began, noting the shift in Loki, knowing the younger god wouldn’t want them to see her as a weakness to exploit.

“You go on. I'm going to take my last meal in peace,” Loki snipped, a swoosh of leather announcing his leave, and leaving his soulmate looking after him as doors slid shut.

Having directed her into a small room, Treasure was surprised it was an authentic room and not a cell. Looking around the sparse area, that consisted of a bed, bathroom with a shower and toilet to note there wasn’t much to use in the way of weaponry and found her sitting on the corner of the small bed.

Sitting in silence was a relief compared to having to wait in a lab with constant banter and prodding of scientist. Staring out the window, it was a pity her mind couldn’t drift back to another time, the past was the moment she came too on the jet and brought here.

Here. They told her this was New York and called this place the Avengers compound.

Great. Another compound to sit around and await in.

But who was the man who overpowered her in the med bay?

The blond one, -Thor, not Steve-, told her it was his brother Loki. Funny, they didn’t look like brothers. Nothing about the two gods matched. Having been trained to note the smallest similarities between others, it was all too obvious the two were from completely different families.

Loki had stared at her the entire time as if hoping for something. Truthfully she was too because every time she looked to the dark god a memory tried to surface only for the device to flare and set her entire skull on fire. The young woman, -Shuri-, had spoken in Xhosa about removing it, soon.

Soon could mean mere seconds to years. The turning of the doorknob had Treasure wondering if now was the soon Shuri spoke of. Staying seated, it was best to not rush into a fight, especially with literal gods around. Steve had made sure to inform her of Thor and Loki’s, stature.

The shuffling of a canvas bag had her full attention as did the red head who entered and shut the door behind her. The widow gave a smile when she met the others gaze, this wasn’t the assassin Treasure was allowed to remember. This Widow, -Natasha-, had a lighter step than the one she remembered.

Studying the widow as she came closer, Treasure hoped Natasha could explain more of HYDRA’s downfall. There were vague memories of her last time out, the ordeal soaked in blood and things she thankfully couldn’t remember; yet.

“How about we do something about your hair,” the widow began, stepping to edge of the bed to sit the bag next to her. Natasha noted the look of puzzlement, the soldier debating if she should speak.

“You're allowed to speak freely, ask what you like. That’s an order,” the widow smiled, moving so the other could look into the bag as she pulled the contents out to place on the bed.

There were several boxes of hair dye, toiletries, a brush, and tablet Natasha was sure to place in the other’s lap. “This will help you get up to speed on what has transpired since you have been in deep freeze.”

The red head took a seat close to Treasure while tapping the screen of the tablet. Gently Natasha explained it was sat up to play videos and real-time broadcast.  

“Please,” the other finally murmured in answer to the question about her hair as Natasha pressed a finger to the screen to start the video that pulled up first. “I hate it.”

“I know you do,” Natasha sighed, reaching back to the tangled mess of hair, delicately tugging the matted braid free, careful of any and all knots.

Attentively, Treasure watched the video detailing the collapse of SHIELD and HYDRA’s hand in it.

“Shuri speak to you of the device,” Natasha spoke quietly, not wanting to bother Treasure’s concentration on the news footage flashing across the screen.

“I heard they want to remove it,” the other began, studying the tablet while secretly loving the gentle care of someone taking time to tend to her hair that had always been a second thought.

“They are speaking of putting you under,” the red head spoke up, visibly watching the other tense. “But, it was brought up you should be kept awake and Shuri agreed. “

“How soon,” Treasure asked, slowly relaxing as Natasha continued to gently remove the knots in the bleached strands.

“A day, give or take,” the red head admitted, carefully assuring all the tangles were out before getting to her feet to find a towel to place it around Treasure’s shoulders.

“Shuri is a very smart woman, so it may only take her a few hours. She’s trustworthy, she helped Bucky. They are working through the diagram to assure they neutralize all pain. It's a delicate procedure,” Natasha didn’t hesitate to inform as she opened a box of dye to begin getting it ready with materials left in the bag. Pulling on gloves, Natasha began to mix it in a bowl with a brush.

Giving a nod she understood, Treasure went back to watching the tablet while the red head continued to toy with the bleached mess. The soldier hated to admit this was very relaxing, even if she was watching the chaos of the last 9 or so years flash on the screen before her. 

A day later found Treasure laying on her stomach on an operating table, techs and Shuri moving around she and the hovering gurney readying for the procedure. Thankfully they had placed the tablet so she could watch it to pass the time, appearing the teen had found a way to keep her awake, and pain free.

That had her dressed in a thankfully comfortable gown, and the entire team had been more than accommodating when Treasure hesitated to settle onto the table face down. A few moments of coaxing found her lying down with the tablet placed on a chair to keep focus elsewhere.

Shivering as someone brushed the hair away from the back of her neck, making herself calm when a razor passed over the flesh, followed by a drape and quiet reassurance from Shuri. The pressure of a needle had violet eyes fluttering closed as the tablet began to play recent news. Treasure let the pain roll off her as numbing took over her neck, scalp and shoulders.

“Were going to start,” Shuri spoke up, making the woman note there was no feeling whatsoever when the teen asked if she felt the scalpel.

Giving a quiet no, Treasure returned focus to the tablet. The faster she settled and allowed them to work meant this was over quickly.

“What of this Loki,” the woman news reporter began, an image of the very god who had been all but glaring at her since she had come there flashed on screen.  

“He comes to earth in 2012, tries to enslave all of mankind and now has suddenly turned over a new leaf? I don’t trust him-,” the woman continued, a slight twinge at the base of her skull followed by an audible pop told her they had already cut her and popped the device loose from the base of her skull.

Damn, that was quick. The scent of hot copper hit keen senses, making Treasure crinkle her nose, God how she really hated the smell of her own blood. There was no way to explain it, she just hated it.

“We are going to start pulling the 6 leads, let me know if you experience any pain,” Shuri’s voice spoke over the reporter for the woman on the table to utter a quiet yes, followed by the ting of metal into a tray.

Turning attention back to the tablet, noting a male reporter was now on a split screen talking with the woman from earlier. “Well, it can be said,” the man began before the other half of the screen flashed to show scenes of the assault on New York as he continued. “If it wasn’t for Loki then we would have never had to deal with the mad titan Thanos. It was Loki who brought all of this down on us. The death toll-.”

The words the man spouted hatefully became drowned out by a ringing in her right ear, alerting her that something was off, distracting attention from the tablet. The scent of blood stronger and filling sensitive sinuses to make her stomach churn.  

“My nose is starting to bleed,” Treasure spoke loud enough for them to hear. A tech directly next to her stooped to hold thick gauze to her nose

Squinting violet eyes shut, they began to sting, more behind them then in them. This made it hard to stifle a cry that escaped around the gauze. Clenching restrained fist tightly, nails cut into the palms while she growled for them to stop. Never before had she cried out like this, but then again she was always asleep or so addled she didn’t know what was happening.

Gritting her teeth, she was still able to hear out of her left ear the chaos unfolding around her, everyone cursing in Xhosa for it all to end in silence within a few seconds. All pain abated, the room early quiet but for the shuffle of feet and hearing returned.

There was a steady pressure on the small of her back, the feel of cool steel pressed to bare flesh, feeling familiar in a way. Chocking it up to something the teen had developed, Treasure was relieved the nausea was easing along with the strong smell of blood, focusing back on the tablet when the tech was sure her nose was no longer bleeding.   

A quiet shift of boots had Shuri looking back to Loki who held his hand to the small of Treasure’s back. The god was preventing any pain, relieved he chose to stay close in case the extraction didn’t go as planned. He knew the young mortal was very smart, but had a feeling none of them, including himself, knew how this mechanism would react to being removed, there was nothing on removing it in the journal.

Noting the barbed tendril of the one the Wakandan had removed, it had to have been the cause of the pain. Thankfully it was the shortest one they begun with, that meant there shouldn’t be much damage that would heal itself in no time. Relishing in the feel of touching Treasures flesh, Loki nodded to Shuri to continue, glad he was able to hold the illusion his palm was flat instead of his thumb stroking over the soft skin soothingly.

The teen slowly moved back to the wound, discovering if she sent a small electrical charge through the lead being extracted, it kept the barbs closed and was a breeze to extract. Loki watched Shuri close, a tech moving as if to speak to Treasure, but the god shook his head, hinting they not tell her he was there.

Loki was sure Treasure was already having a hard time processing what was happening, and he feared more so as he heard his name being spoken over the tablet.

Norns! Why did they have to give his mate that forsaken piece of equipment? This was not the best way, if memories surfaced during all this, of him; -them-, then this would be pure Hel.

“The sheer death toll alone thanks to this, Loki, can never be forgiven. If I were the Avengers, I would assure he was locked up just like those so-called super soldiers they have been buying from HYDRA. Nothing good-,” the man snarled to another who was apparently trying to defend the teams right to help others.

“Well you're not! And as far as it is concerned, they have every right to help-,” a different woman snapped back before the man cut her off hatefully.

“They all need to be taken to a rock out in space and left there to freeze to death! What is preventing Loki, let alone the newest enhanced soldier they bought, at yet another HYDRA auction, from turning on us? From destroying us from the inside out and manipulating the Avengers?

This last enhanced, a woman, has the highest body count in HYDRA record. She is more a risk then Sgt. Barnes. From history released during the collapse of SHIELD, she is responsible for mass genocide in countless countries over the past several decades. This, Thorn as she is referred to by SHIELD, or Treasure as HYDRA referred to her, should be put on the Raft and left to rot!”

“She wasn’t in control, same as Sgt Barnes! Don’t you dare compare her to the rest of the scum HYDRA has sent out,” the woman bit back.

“Oh no, not this again,” the man snarled at the other reporter. Treasure felt her chest close up; she had no memory of the allegations. Was she that deadly? Was she Thorn or Treasure?

The flesh under Loki’s hand vibrated with anxiety, it wasn’t anything the others would note, but he did. Twisting his freehand at his side, the god caused the tablet to blank but power on to play soothing music accompanied by calming patterns swilling and moving across the screen. The god hoped it was enough to sooth the anxiety, having taken to watching Treasure and not Shuri.

The behavior of the tablet had her eyes narrowing and puzzling at the patterns moving across the screen along with the soothing rhythm of music. It was comforting as she watched the movement and tuned into the music instead of the talk around her. There was a gentle stroke of calloused flesh on the small of her back, as if it was being cherished.

There was a slight tingle at the back of her skull, and this time it wasn’t accompanied by sharp pain to force it away. Closing tired eyes, Treasure slowly lost herself to the tender show of affection from whom ever felt she needed it, and it was greatly appreciated. It was familiar, so familiar it made fist unclench, and body relax.

The god felt the calmness washing over Treasure do the same to himself. Loki knew she didn’t need to learn from an angered news reporter of their past and thinking he may pay the man a visit, soon.

Watching the last of the tendrils pulled free, Shuri began to stitch the wound closed. The moment Loki was no longer needed he would leave, but for now, Loki would relish in the feel of the soft flesh under calloused palm and calming nerves.

Tags: @marshyrebelcloud​ @cruel-kitten​  @moonfaery​ @dark-night-sky-99​ @gramaeryebard​  @katstablook​ @andiyholly​ @jovanna-shewolf​ @nickyl316h​ @aslandia726​ @furstinnajoelle​ @itsbqueenthings​ @collinsstanharbour​ @jazzieomega​ @moonlightprime​ @bambamwolf87​ @tomhardy41​ @get-loki​ @drakonwild​ @alexakeyloveloki​  @scorpionchild81​ @devilbat​ @cherrygeek86​ @jessiejunebug​ @jane-777​ @wegingerangelica​ @iamverity​

[intothespideyverses]

quick HSMTMTS ep. 2 thoughts before ep 3 comes out tomorrow!

NINI

-Nini clearly wants to be with Ricky and at this point she just needs to break off with EJ. She knows she still has feelings for that boy and is just prolonging the inevitable.

-I love the budding friendship between her and Ashlyn. Wondering is a SONG ok.

-I know the focus was on Ricky not being able to dance but Nini wasn’t exactly nailing those moves either 💀

-She’s such a theater kid I love it!

RICKY

-I still think what Ricky’s doing is trash I’m sorry. He’s taking on a role he doesn’t want solely to get Nini back and like she said he really should just let someone who wants it have it. Even practicing the dance was still just to prove a point to Nini.

-The cologne thing was such a teenage boy thing to do I love how realistic this show is

-When his parents eventually get this divorce…whew it’s gonna be messy

EJ

-I still find him the most entertaining ajsjjksjsjs he’s so STUPID

-That being said he’s definitely manipulative asf. And talking about “I need her, Nini makes me better!!!” girlie aren’t you trying to steal her property? Also y'all are in HIGH SCHOOL why are you expecting a 16 year old girl to “build you up”? Seek therapy.

-The mockumentary style is entirely justified if only for every time EJ makes that stupid face at the camera. Jim from the Office WHO??

-Sidenote he 100% has a tiktok

ASHLYN

-She spoke nothing but truths this episode! I thought she was gonna end up being EJ’s spineless lackey but she’s the only one on this show with real sense 😭

-Miss Ashlyn can SING! It might be too soon to say but she may actually have the best voice out of the whole cast

-I’m curious about the inspiration behind Wondering. She was singing like she FELT those lyrics so what’s the story there?

-I love how they gave her little quirks without making a big deal out of the fact that she’s qUIRkY xD.

-I’m sure she’s used to just being known as “EJ’s cousin” so I hope she’s able to make a name for herself outside of their familial relationship. That being said it’s cool how they have a good relationship and it’s not one of those things where he’s embarrased to be seen with her.

-I meant to say this in my first review but I love how there’s more than one plus size girl on the show!! We barely ever get ONE and when we do they’re a joke. To have two who may end up playing major roles in the show is everything 💕.

CARLOS

-I’m loving his and Miss Jen’s relationship lol. But does this boy go to class???

-I wonder if the show is going to go into him being bullied in the past? He clearly thought Ricky was going to beat him up and had a response ready for him.

-Okay the rule about rehearsing the hardest dance first is true but why did he make the hardest dance the CURTAIN CALL??? In what world…

-Also why are they going over the dances before they’ve even started the songs?

GINA

-I love her she’s so NOSEY. She really stays in everyone else’s business lmaooo

-I still want to know why she transferred

-I’m confused as to why she expected to get the lead role tho? Theater department politics are REAL. Leads go to juniors/seniors only unless the role calls for a younger kid. Even with more forgiving directors who will cast younger students in the leads it’s usually a student they’ve worked with before. Gina being a new student AND a sophomore? She never had a chance 🥴.

-I’m sorry but the way she was talking to ricky at the skate park sounded like she thought this was step up 2 back to the streets skjhsdkjhd “you gave us street cred, you made us real” it’s MUSICAL THEATER....

-I love all her dance outfits vote gina porter for east high best dressed!

BIG RED

-please give this child a real name

-I still feel meh about him but the cult line was funny

-he can’t read but that’s okay we still support you! that being said bring natalie back. much like with roles backstage theater politics are real too! stage manager would never go to some kid who’s never been in a show before. I know it’s just temporary but slkjslkdsjdslk

KOURTNEY

-didn’t do much this episode but it does look like they toned her down a bit so I’m pleased

-WHEN ARE THEY GONNA LET HER SING?? dara renee’s voice is too good for her to not be singing. and who does she play in hsm?? we didn’t see her audition and she wasn’t sitting in a desk at read-through so is she just in stage crew? 

anyway that’s it I did see the spoilers for next episode and baybee things are gonna get even messier...

[leatherlaceandblades]

First Meetings

( Taken from a transcript of an RP with @onidephor. Forgive me missing any of our writing booboos! XD )

The beginnings of the project were underway. The next round of conscripts had shuffled into their lines and eventually into their operating rooms. The Colossus project, only an infant idea, marched on. Overseen by the current Tribune, Lillium sas Sylvanius, she had separated out the children from the adults and lead them into other areas. Several had gone into the wings ahead of the current group from a previous raid. A ship from Gridania and other distant lands bore decent fruit. Beyond the Castrum‘ s operating wards rested the newest of the rebirths. These were all people who had freshly implanted augmentations red and raw, swollen in their skin where limb and flesh had been excised. They had no separation, and of the hundred or so, they crowded together in containment cells awaiting the next procedures. Along with the current crowd, a small Elezen youth no older than ten had tucked himself into a distant corner clutching the sore section of his face. Prongs and pliers had stretched and bruised the skin around his eye socket and left his eyelid swollen. When tears welled up naturally from the ache, they came free of the eye in a mix of yellow-red humours from the fresh wound within the socket. He had come here from Gridania. Born with only a single working eye, he had been selected to receive an eye augmentation. The tumor-ridden left eye no longer resided in his skull. The scientists cut it out and implanted the new device with the hope that in a few days the nerves might connect. For now, he was just as blind as he always was, and in far greater pain.

For Viina, it was like a blurring nightmare. One place to the next, not wanting to think ahead, but not wanting to dwell in the past either. Shuffling along always; do what you were told. Eat and sleep on schedule. She kept apart from the others, half by choice, half because she was the only one of her kind - so far at least. No part of her was selfless enough to be truly grateful of that fact; she was terrified and wanting a familiar face somewhere, any where, for some kind of comfort. Her body hurt beneath the thin clothing she had been given; pokes and prods and blood drawing leaving more than a few tender places that even the softest brush of the finest silk would've aggravated. A sniffle was snuffed through her nose, forcing back tears...barely twelve herself, she didn't know how to cope with it. Mutely desperate, she looked around again for something...anything...any-one-...that didn't look scary or beyond approach that would ignore her or shove her aside. That was when she saw him; apart from the others too, little hand cupped to his face and stretch of shadows obscuring most else. It was hard to tell his age, but he couldn't have been far off from her either. Hesitation wiggled in her gut like restless worms before she forced herself to turn and move that way, keeping clear to not run in to someone she aught not. Her shadow would be the first to reach him, for what that was worth. As far back in to his own darkness as he was, it probably did little to add to it. 

And what should she say? 

So she sat down next to him without invitation, bony legs that looked almost too long for her to draw up to her chest.

From the Elezen boy’s point of view, having legs coming and going, dragging by and sitting at random became quickly commonplace in the bunched up spaces they would be moved between. The static sound of constant moaning or crying among other children gave the air no silent moment. The youth had pulled into his own world, shocked, confused, wishing to just go home. Someone had promised him something better than the caves below the dirt, and before he could nod in agreement, his world was black and red. When he realized that the legs were not going to move away from him, he passed a glance, and instantly winced, because the muscles that now tied the device to his skull still had a white-hot ache to them. He tried to keep his eye forward as much as possible, which in itself, was torture.

Viina was passing quick glances at him - flitting little things that made her look incredible nervous and VERY obvious, even though her young child brain was telling her otherwise. At the tautness of his features pulling with the wince though, she felt a huge rush of guilt swell up from her middle, lodging uncomfortably in her chest. She rolled to her side, reaching out a hand with long, delicate fingers that didn’t quite reach him yet - it was just a silent plea for a chance. Her voice was hoarse...maybe from crying or making any a number of other sounds for so long. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Please don't go."

The young one couldn’t go and couldn’t stay. What was he going to do if he left? What was she going to do? He couldn’t even look back at her because his eye shocked him when he tried. With a cupped hand over his face he could only speak at her. “We can’t go. No one can go. I just wanted to help people. They told me that and then hurt my eye.”

The Viera girl exhaled. She had only meant she didn’t want him to move somewhere else; she hadn’t expected such a hopeless response. No...maybe part of her - a smarter part - had. But on the heels of that came the want to step up...finally speaking out loud to someone. To sound confident -for- them even if she didn’t know them. "Those people, huh." It wasn't a question; they all knew who did the hurting around there. Her hand slowly lowered to balance herself, scooting an ilm or two nearer his side. "What did they..." Trailing off, biting in to her bottom lip. Viina couldn’t be so bold as to ask him what they had done to him. Not when he was still in so much pain from it. "You wanted to help people?" Thinking it was safer. 

His face twisted for a moment when tears welled up again, and instantly burned his whole one side. He couldn't even argue that there was nothing wrong with that eye. "I do. They said I could help people if I went with them. Did they tell you the same thing?"

Brows constricted - another tug of guilt. It might have been so much a safe topic afterall if it only made him cry more. "N-no. It wasn't...like that. I sort of..." A breath in, a breath out. She was a warrior! Warriors could admit they were wrong! That was...that was the right way. So she lifted her chin held high and forced the stammer aside. "I went somewhere I wasn't supposed to. They found me there, but they didn’t ask me anything." Unpuffing herself, head tilting in and down so that she could try and peer at his. She didn't bother to hide this time - nor did she seem to hold on to that common sense that was telling her to mind her words and curiosities "Can I...May I see?"

In a show of trust in this unsure time, he lowered his hand and revealed his face, but his hands shook and he raise his gaze to meet her own. He was devoting all mental energy to not moving his eyes. An ashy complexion and the bruises made it seem like someone had blotted him with black ink here and there. Since the device that had been placed in his hollowed socked could not yet see in its fresh state, his eyelid remained open, yet swollen, around an orb of glassy black.

With her head down, there wasn’t much a need to demand that he look at her. Shock trickled down her spine like icy fingers, thinking at first ‘How cruel!’ before reminding herself of the other horrors they had done. To that, the feeling of wanting to protect surfaced a second time, letting her hold on to focusing on just this one boy rather than the masses; with that focus, she let herself study it...remember it...the dark on only slightly lighter skin tone, the way the skin rose up, angry and inflamed. She wasn't around boys much at all so far in her life. But right then, treating him any way differently than a sister of her own kind would have been wrong. A second time her hand came up setting down touched to the top of his head. "I'm sorry they lied to you." She couldn't say it didn't look bad - it did. She couldn't say it would get better - she didn't know. But she did offer him a tiny little smile. "But...maybe...", a shyness touching her face. "You can help me, if you still want to help somebody?"

When the hand set itself onto his crown, with hair grown long and haphazard, only tossed around more by recent events. Likely, in a few days, it would all be shaved off like the rest of the boys who had come in with longer styles. His hair was white, as all duskwights tended to be. It had an ivory cotton tone. “I-I want to help. What is wrong?”, he asked with a failed attempted to look at her thwarted immediately by a pinch in his skull. Peachy-hued tears welled up in that eye again.

"I'm just - " Viina realized she should have thought it out better, been ready with an answer. It had just popped in to her mind and sounded good at the time! But right then, hearing his voice sad but still willing, the knot got tighter - she couldn’t blunder here! Her smile stretched thin, until a trembling lip was bit between her teeth a second time; harder than the first, turning the skin white. No - she did have an answer afterall and the whole reason she had approached him in the first place. Eyes shut themselves as she did her best to wrestle the expression to look as happy as she could even though she was just a scared lost child too. "I don't know anyone here. Can we be friends?" It was something a naive baby would say...and she wasn’t a baby! But that's what she wanted, honestly. Just one face in the crowd.

A look of surprise wrote itself plainly on his face. He hadn’t seen that response coming - he also wasn’t going to question it. At his age, making friendships was easy and without the bias of adulthood. Without the bias that kept him underground instead of wandering the forest open of Gridania proper watching the healers perform their miraculous spells. “O-okay. Yeah. I don’t know anyone here either. So that’s okay, right?”

"R-right. Yeah, of course!" Her smile turned genuine again even as a prickling started in the corners of her eyes. Relief. That’s what it was...and everything that had before it now just made it almost exhausting. She took her hand from his head, moving it at a slant across her chest to fist at the opposite shoulder in a very sloppy soldier solute. "My name is Viina. Whats yours?"

Somehow, he found a way to make himself tuck in even more so on himself. He seemed hesitant but it would eventually come out. “C-... Clario. S-Sarmantoix. You don’t have to use the last name part. No one else in my family does.” Knobby knees came up to his chest, slender arms wrapping tight around them and hugging them firmly in to place.

"Clario Sar-man-t-..." She wasn’t sure her tongue could wrap around the surname...she had a few unusual ones, but his accent made it all the more a challenge. She wet her lips, a little flushed for the inability to get it out. "Sorry, I may have to skip it after all." In contrast to his drawing in, she opened up; physically and otherwise as words tumbled out. "You're an Elezen, aren’t you? I've seen some before at a distance...I mean, before here. There's quite a few here too. And Hyur and the Roe..Roga-people." Apparently that word was a challenge too. The next moment, she had scooted herself directly at his side, sharing that tiny tucked away place.

“Y-Yeah. We live under the ground, though. You have really long ears for a Miqo’te”, he commented having never known of a Viera in his life. He couldn’t think of any other race that could even come close to having anything similar to the long tuffed ears that poked out from her own mop of messy hair.

"Underground? Why? I bet it smells good - all earthy and fresh! - but so dark! I think the treetops are the best!" There was no missing the longing, if only fleeting as the memory. Looking back at him with twin brown eyes. "Miqo'te? The ones that look like wild cats and hunt too much food?" It came out with a snort. With a shaking of her head to deny his comment, she brushed her ears back as best she could. She’d always been a touch self-conscious about them; even amongst her own kind they were considered far larger than normal for her age, covered in thick dark fur that stuck out every which way as much as her hair did. "I'm a Viera, not a Miqo'te. We live away from your cities, but above ground, in the trees. Every thing we have is a part of them. And it’s a secret." Her eyes got bigger still, dropping her voice to an urgent whisper. "So you cant tell anybody, okay? That's a secret just for us."

Clario’s face scrunched slightly as he tried to take all of that in. “O-okay. I won’t tell anyone. I don’t want to mess anything up”, he said hurriedly not really expecting some demands of this friendship but he would accept anything at this point. He felt comfortable enough knowing he wasn’t alone in this room full of people right now. Talking was distracting him from the ache in his face. “I promise not to tell anyone.”

Her shoulders relaxed...but her ears drooped, this time of their own accord. Though he had readily given his word, he seemed a little confused by it, not to mention that they were -officially- friends now. "I'm sorry. We're not really supposed to talk about it. All the Elders say its really important, because that’s how we stay safe." Following right on that thought, her smile came back. "But I told you and you made it a promise, so I bet once we're out of here, I can take you there too."

Clario looked at her despite the pain it would cause. His young face, wide eye, only one with a gray hue and dark circle pupil stared at her. The glassy eye on the other side showed her reflection, but no life. “You... you think we are going to get out of here?”

Seeing the eye the first time was enough that, now, she didn’t feel so afraid of it. He certainly couldn’t help it, and really, it was almost just like a polished stone from the bottom of a pond. He was just Clario, and one oddity certainly wasn’t going to hurt them or her. Viina’s smile widened even as a hard glint came to her eye. "Of course. Help will come - we wont be abandoned. You can come with me, of you want to, until we can get you home too."

“I’m okay going with you”, he admitted. He curled up again and looked at the ground or any feet that happened to be passing by at the time. “Home is just dirt. And it really doesn’t smell all that great, like you think. I don’t really want to go back. That’s why I told the man that I would help him. It was better than sitting around and doing nothing.”

Ears lifted slightly - an odd half arch. "You mentioned that before...that Those People actually asked you - spoke to you. Wasn’t that scary?" Looking ahead - mostly just grown up legs in various repair of pant types milling around. "What about your dad?" Her own assumptions being that his people would be like her’s...The daughters with their mothers, sons with their fathers.

Clario’s answer came with barely any emotion at all. “I don’t have one” with a shrug of his shoulders. “A lot of us don’t. Or we don’t know who they are.”

"Oh." So very wrong. "What about your mom? Who took care of you?"

Her answer was a long stretch of silence. He only kept his gaze down and didn’t answer directly “She’s not dead”, he said instead.

That drew her attention back, eyebrows up and asking in that childlike blunt way: "What does that mean?"

The defensiveness was immediate when he shrugged again and said with a rushed tone, “I don’t know, okay?” He buried his head in his knees. “Mom said I was an accident and she didn’t want to be my mom. So, she lives near all of us but she doesn’t act like a mom.” He lifted his head up to wipe away a dribbling of tears from his good eye. “Sometimes, the matrons in the forest will give me a cookie if I find them and ask nicely. They are good moms.”

Viina opened her mouth, then closed it. She couldn't..imagine. There were children without parents...but never unwanted. Never treated like an outsider. She ilmed closer, then cautiously put her shoulder against his in a very faint bumping weight. "She missed out. It wasn’t much of an offer, but it was still there. Lots of older people made mistakes, but this one seemed to top them all.

“What do you know”, he muttered. His head dipped down into his knees again, a bony little chin wedged between the thin fabric covering them. “I can’t do anything cool or good. I can’t hunt, I can’t color, I can’t sing. I can’t do anything.”

She thought about it. "I can’t shoot a bow. I can’t run fast as my sisters cause I'm so short. I tried to weave a basket once and it was so bad that it broke as soon as they put an apple inside of it. Everybody laughed. But...I'm good at being me. And some time I'll find something else I'm good at. I bet we could find something you're good at too.", peeking at him from the corner of her eye. "You helped me, after all. I don't feel lonely any more now. That’s something.”

“At least I helped someone”, Clario said quietly. “I want to help more people. When the men said I could help, I said I wanted to help heal people. They said I could so... when I can heal lots of people, and you can shoot arrows and run fast, I can help you, too. Okay?”

Broke the grin, twisting at her middle to rest on her hip, facing torso towards him. "Deal." She held her arm up in front of her, bent at the elbow, hand opened as if waiting for him to clasp it. "We'll be the best team ever and then nobody can say we cant do anything again!"

He smiled for the first time. Small, but there. He reached out carefully to grip her hand in agreement. "D-deal”, he affirmed.

Nodded once, firmly, giving his hand a little squeeze before releasing it. "We'll just have to hang tough until they get us. Or maybe we can do one better...bust ourselves out! Maybe everyone and then we can all be free again to do what we want."

He smiled fully now. With a hardy nod, he agreed to this. “Okay, I promise I’ll help as much as I can.”

"I trust you." As much as any child could with a friend...which was pretty much immediate and heartfelt. She returned to her settled in place next to him, though he could note that her shoulder still remained touched to his. "How...how long ago did that man come see you?"

He shrugged quietly. Time became a blur in here where the sun never reached them. “I don’t know...”, he began to try to answer but an announcement rang overhead. A woman spoke, gruff and stern, “Attention. All are to report to the lower hall. You will be showered and cleaned up for mealtime. That is all.”

Looked up at the voice rang out...then promptly stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry. "Oh boy...stinky water and bleh food. I wonder where they get the meat in there cause it tastes days spoiled." Her hand appeared next to him again - she had gotten to her feet but remained slightly hunched to offer him assistance up too.

“It is weird that they eat bad meat here. I usually just pick around it if the big men aren’t watching”, he said while getting up and staggering a bit from being weak-kneed from sitting. They would have to go to the mess hall now, as the disembodied voice had announced, but at least they did so as new friends.

For the moment, their biggest fear was the mystery of whatever the meat on their plates would be and how empty their bellies would be for skipping it.

[livvywrites]

‘c’mere. shh, it’s okay.’ - lyr @ tali

Hi. this one hurt, thanks XD

but i had fun writing it ;)

modern au! bit angsty, bit fluffy. enjoy~ 

Talitha pulled the blankets over her head. Her face was wet, and sticky. Her vision was blurred. She fumbled for her phone. She sniffed, hard, and wiped at her eyes. Then she opened her messages.

lyr i need u 

Dots. Dots. Dots. Filling and emptying, their little animated jolts seeming to mock her as she watched.

on my way, tali j. need me to stop for anything?

She considered.

no. just get here fast. 

Then after a moment of consideration: 

but not so fast you get arrested, pls. 

Lyr sent her a thumbs up emoji. She locked her phone and shoved it under her pillow. Then, she buried her face in it, blankets still over her head. She was glad Lynette was over at a friends house tonight. She didn’t need to see this. How absolutely wrecked Talitha was. She hated feeling like this. She hated it so, so much. 

It seemed to take forever for Lyr to get there. But it also seemed to take no time at all. Her door creaked as it swung open, and clicked when it shut. She pulled the blankets off, letting them pool in her lap as she looked up.

Lyr made a soft noise when he saw her. He reached her bed, and opened his arms. “C’mere,” he said softly.

She threw her arms around him, buried her face in his stomach, and sobbed.

One hand rested on the back of her head. The other, between her shoulderblades, rubbing slow, soothing circles. “Shh. It’s okay,” he said. “It’s all going to be okay.”

Talitha cried. And cried. And cried.

Lyr moved to sitting on her bed, holding her that way instead. Rocking her slowly, back and forth. She felt like a child. But she also felt secure, and safe. When her cries had finally subsided, Lyr asked, still in that same low tone, “What happened, Tali?”

It wasn’t like her to just lose it like that. Both of them knew it. She was good at letting things slide off of her, like water on a duck. But sometimes things didn’t just slide off. Sometimes things hurt, hurt enough that she cried, that she needed someone to comfort her.

This was one of those times.

“My mom finally left my dad,” she said, her voice raspy. “Because she got pregnant again. By some other guy. And... I just... why didn’t she leave for us? Why didn’t she get us out of there? Why did I have to do it myself? Why did I have to scratch, and claw, and fight my way out of there, and fight to take Lynette with me, and still have to be bound to them?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

“Weren’t we good enough for her?” Talitha asked. “Weren’t we... worth that?”

Lyr tightened his grip around her. “Of course you were. Your mother was, is, a fool not to see that.”

She buried her face in his shoulder. “I don’t want to tell Lynette. I’m afraid of how she’ll take it.”

He stroked her hair. “Better she hears it from you then your mom,” he said. “Or your dad.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I know. I’ve narrowed her reaction down to two options. One, she takes it the same way I did. Which. Is going to break my heart, honestly. Two, she... puts that aside and is happy for mom. And excited about the baby. And... that one sounds better. But I think. I think it’s going to make me feel worse, honestly. Because how can she forgive that? And why... can’t I?”

Lyr rubbed her back. “She can forgive it because of you, Tali. You gave that to her. You made it so that she could forgive your mother, because you protected her from all of it. You provided for her. You made her feel safe, made her feel protected. You played mother and big sister. But you didn’t have someone to do that for you. Instead, you took on a burden--a burden you may have been happy to take. But that doesn’t change the fact that it was more than you should have ever had to deal with.”

Talitha shut her eyes. “It hurts.”

“I know. I know, Tali J.”

“Spend the night?”

“Duh.”

She smiled. “Thanks, Lyr.”

“No thanks needed.” He laid his head on hers. “I’ll always come when you call.”

“I know,” she said softly. “I know you will.” 

[turn-your-gaze-on-this-dumptruck]

His Past, His Present, His Future: Chapter 5 - Forgiveness

In which Germany has a talk with his brother, and he and Italy consider more forgotten memories.

Also, the last angsty chapter. From here on out, it’s fluff. XD

Ao3

Fanfiction.net

**************

Germany waited in the guest room in tense silence. His thoughts were moving far too quick for him to examine any of them as the phone rang once, twice, three times. Just as the fourth ring was about to finish, the phone was picked up.

“West! Tell me, why have you called your awesome brother?” Prusia greeted in German.

“When did you plan on telling me I was Holy Rome?” Germany was surprised by the steely sound of his own voice. The harshness.

There was a staticky silence.

“Who told you?” All senses of bravado were gone, replaced only with some emotion Germany was unable to place.

“Italy.”

“Of course he did. I thought I told him to keep it quiet.” Prussia spat.

“You what?” Germany’s voice was barely audible, dripping with malice. 

“Ludwig, you have understand. You were a child. How was I supposed to tell you then, huh? With all those wars going on… the last thing you needed was to hear that.”

“And now? Now that I’m all grown? When did you plan on telling me?”

“You’re only 148 years old, Ludwig, it’s a miracle you aren’t learning to walk right now.”

Germany splayed his hand on the surface of his bedside table. “I’m not a child!” He was surprised at his volume.

“Give me a break! It’s not like I’ve done this before!” Prussia said. “They don’t exactly make manuals for this kind of thing! What should I have done?!”

“You should have told me before I had to watch my best friend beat up France over my own death! My entire life changed in a span of a day! Do you even regret it?” Germany shouted.

“You think I don’t regret it now?!” Prussia bellowed.

Germany pulled the phone away from his ear.

“Not now that it’s my fault you’re so confused?” Prussia’s voice sounded unusually fragile. He sighed. “Ludwig, you are… the best thing that ever happened to me. At the time you came, I was alone, and… a little brother… you, my little brother. I had to raise you by myself. I’m the least qualified person to do that. But to see that you’ve grown up to be so good, so strong… better than me in every way not just as a country, but as a person? Ludwig, you are my greatest pride. I didn’t tell you because… I didn’t want you to lose that. Maybe once you had a stronger sense of self, maybe when you were stronger as a country. But I was scared. Totally un-awesome, huh?” Prussia declared in halfhearted humor.

  “Gilbert…” Germany sighed. He was taken aback by the surprising amount of honesty Gilbert was communicating. The two of them were never the kind of people who engaged in heart-to-heart conversations.  “God, I’m so tired. I’m just… confused. We can talk when I get back home.”

“Okay, West. I’ll be waiting. We’ll both clear our heads.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at home.”

“Bye. Oh, and West?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m proud of you. I don’t feel like I say that enough, but I am.”

A weak smile spread across Germany’s face. "That's unusually sappy."

Prussia gave a short chuckle. "Yeah, well I have to actually act like a big brother sometimes."

“I’m proud of you too, Gilbert.”

“Yeah, yeah. Take care of yourself, West.”

“See you at home, Gilbert.” He hung up the phone. He scrubbed a hand down his face. Touching as that moment was, he was still so confused. And outside the door of the guest room were all the answers he wanted. He paused for a moment before deciding that now was the time for comfy clothes. If there ever was time for them at… here he checked his watch… five p.m. in the evening, it was now. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the door open and he went into the hallway. Before he even entered the room, he heard Italy.

“How was it?”

“Why are you so nosy?” Germany asked, fully aware that he was attempting to deflect. He left the hall and got to the living room, rounding the couch and sitting down. Despite what he said, he freely gave an answer. “We’ll talk about it when I go home.”  

“Oh.” Italy nodded. “Will you be going home soon?”

Germany took a deep breath and sighed. “No. I’ll probably stay, if it’s okay with you. Home is the last place I want to be right now.”

Italy nodded again. There was a long pause in which both of their minds were reeling. “I know you probably have questions.” Italy finally admitted. “If you want, I can answer them the best that I can.”

“Okay.” There was another silence as Germany collected his thoughts. “Is this why you didn’t let me touch you yesterday? Because of what happened?”

“I… was conflicted.” Italy answered hesitantly. “On one hand I knew who you used to be. But you didn’t. For whatever reason, that scared me all over again. I usually don’t have a problem with that, of course, but figuring out that France did it… like I said, it opened an old wound for me and got those feelings back in my brain all over again.”

Germany nodded. “Does Japan know? About who I used to be?”

Italy shook his head. “I don’t think so. He was so far away from the action at the time… he was never really involved with the 30 years’ war anyhow. And he’s always been so closed off.”

Again, Germany nodded. Despite Italy’s assurances, Germany couldn’t help but remember Japan’s face when Germany had asked him about what had happened. His assurances that it wasn’t his place to tell him what happened.

“Are you going to tell him?” Italy asked.

Germany tapped his fingers on his knee. “Probably not. Maybe. I’m not sure. He wouldn’t know what to think. It may be best that I just keep it to myself.”

“You’re taking this remarkably calmly.” Italy said.

“Well I had a feeling I wasn’t like the other nations,” Germany said, leaning back in the couch. Though his exterior appeared unbothered, he was unsure. He was on uneven ground and it startled him to an alarming degree. “I was born in warfare and yet people looked at me in a certain way. Even when I was young. Like they expected something from me. I have seen the births of many countries, and none of the other nations have ever looked at them like that. I always felt like there was something they knew about me that I didn’t.”

Italy reached onto the coffee table, which Germany now noticed had two canvases. They were stacked so the images were facing each other, effectively blocking them from his view.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“Paintings from when I was little.” Italy answered, pulling them into his lap. He handled them with unusual gentleness.

Germany nodded. “You want me to see them?”

“If I were in your shoes,” Italy began, his eyes not leaving the canvas. “I would want to know everything. I would be scared, and confused… I don’t want you to feel like that. So I’m going to tell you everything and help you get your memories back.” Here he handed him the first canvas.

Germany took it, unsure of how to hold it. An irrational part of him was worried that he would ruin the paint, so he just held it by the wooden framework on the back. He looked down at the painting. On the canvas was the image of what looked like a little girl, maybe seven or eight, curled up on a chair with a velvet seat cushion and taking a nap. A little handkerchief was tied over her head, protecting her short auburn locks. She wore a dress with a matching apron. “This is you.” His heart swelled with affection as he looked at it. He briefly wondered if this feeling was from the present, or from some unremembered past.

Italy nodded. “I did it for him once during the Christmas holiday and I gave it to him. He said he would treasure it forever.”

Germany nodded, his eyes raking over the painting. He looked back up at Italy. He hadn’t appeared to have changed all that much. He had grown taller, of course, and he had some lean muscle from the workouts Germany forced him into. But age had chiseled his features, giving him cheekbones and a narrow but strong jaw. His hair still lay the same, with that silly curl that was poking out of the handkerchief standing at attention. Germany’s only wish was that he could see the eyes in this painting. So he could compare them. Part of him wondered what he would see.

“This doesn’t bring back any memories.” Germany admitted.

“I thought so.” And yet Italy looked disappointed. He outstretched his hand in a silent request for the painting, and he swapped it out for the other canvas. “This is Holy Rome.”

Germany looked at the painting. It was of a boy in a dark black cloak and a black hat, standing at attention like a soldier. It was an odd posture for a young child. His blue eyes seemed to piece Germany as he gazed through the paint and up at him. Germany was struck by just how similar the two looked. He recalled how he looked during childhood and saw that they could have been the exact same two people… but then again, he supposed they were. “This is him?”

“Yes.” Italy smiled slightly. “The day I painted that, I said I wanted to paint a soldier. A warrior. I knew he would like to hear that. Especially knowing that he would leave for the war soon… I asked him to smile for me to paint it, and he said, ‘A soldier doesn’t smile’. He wanted me to paint him like that. Standing at attention.”

Had Germany been paying attention, he would have seen Italy staring at him. He would have seen him consider the man in front of him with his hand leaning against the palm that was propped up on the back of the couch. He would have noticed the loving air that surrounded him as Italy mused that while there were many differences between the two, some core aspects remained the same.

But Germany was not paying attention. Because at that moment he felt an empty longing. An excitement as something at the base of his skull fought to be noticed. Fought to be remembered. He closed his eyes, furrowing his brow.

Long green grass rippled in the wind. It was cold for summer, but only cold enough for a thin coat. But there they were, him standing in the sunlight as he faced an easel.

“Smile, Holy Rome, I want you to see how you look when you smile!” The voice was squeaky. So much lighter than his own.

“A soldier doesn’t smile.” He answered. His voice even at his age was rather low. With a smooth timbre.  

A small face poked around the easel and grinned at him. “You’re not a soldier until you leave for the war!” Italy pointed out.

Holy Rome didn’t even have the heart to fight against the smile that rose from deep within him. He had heard about this from Ms. Hungary. An affection so deep for someone where you felt you would do anything for them. He knew it was love, but he had no idea how to communicate it. He had never been good with emotions.

“You should smile more, Holy Rome, you’re so much more handsome when you do!”

Holy Rome snapped out of it, his smile dropping. “Well you wanted to paint a soldier, so paint a soldier!” He snapped. Realizing what he said, he was disappointed in his temper yet again.

Italy giggled behind the easel, putting him at ease. A couple moments later and Italy poked her head back over. “You can come see if you want!”

Holy Rome rounded the easel. He caught sight of Italy with the paintbrush, stroking at the canvas. Before he could see the painting, the memory faded.

Germany opened his eyes to the painting again. The painting of Holy Rome. Of him.

“Germany?” Italy asked quietly.

Germany blinked, trying to make sense of what he just saw.

“Germany,” Italy tried again, laying a hand on his leg.

Germany’s gaze snapped to Italy. “I… remembered. When you made this painting.”

“You did?” Italy asked, sounding like he hardly dared to believe it.

Germany nodded.

“And?”

“It was warm. And windy. And you were wearing a dress.” And I wanted to be with you. Even back then. It was a loud thought that never escaped past his pursed hips.

Italy nodded reminiscently. “That sounds about right…”

Germany leaned forward, his forearms on his thighs, once again scrubbing his hands down his face. “This is so…”

“Complicated?” Italy supplied.

He nodded, staring ahead at the surface of the table. “You could say that.”

Germany continued his thousand-yard stare, his thoughts moving too fast for his brain. “This is just so much.” He put his forehead in his hands again. After a moment of tense silence, he heard Italy’s clothes rustling on his side of the couch. He felt a weight settle next to him on the couch and he felt a gentle, timid hand splay its fingers between his shoulder blades. For whatever reason, Germany ached for the touch. Even though their lives were both so entwined, it was like there was a chasm of unremembered history stretching out between them. Like there was a separation that couldn’t be fixed. The touch of Italy’s hand was like a reminder that he was still there. Despite what had transpired, Italy wasn’t going to leave him. Not yet.

Almost as if Italy had sensed the thought, Germany felt Italy’s arms wrap around his broad shoulders. He felt Italy burrow his face into his arm. For once, Germany didn’t feel taken aback or shy at this touch. It was like it filled a new void in his heart. The void where he thought he knew what everything was and what it meant.

“I know it is. I… I’m sorry, Germany.” Italy said, his voice muffled by the fabric of Germany’s black t-shirt.

Germany at last removed his hands from his face, letting them fall between his knees. “What for?” He asked, trying to distance himself from the situation as Italy withdrew his arms. He was never one to run away, but there was so much going on in his head. He needed to escape it somehow. Even if that meant distancing himself from the situation. “I know something new about myself. Things are starting to make sense. Why I kept you around after the first world war even when you annoyed the Scheiße out of me, why my brother treated me like I was about to break… he was worried I would remember. Maybe- maybe it was repressed memory that made me keep you around.” He was unaware of how hurtful these words were, just trying to sound like he didn’t care. Just trying to sound like he was looking at this logically.

Italy faced his lap, barely registering the hurtful words. “I’m sorry Holy Rome died. I’m sorry I kept this from you for so long. I thought it was fairer to you because… you’re not Holy Rome anymore. You’re Germany. It wouldn’t have been fair to tell you who you were once. What I… what Holy Rome and I felt for each other at the time. It’s not a fair expectation for anyone.” He finally looked up at Germany, his eyes swimming in tears. “I… I didn’t want you to- I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want you to feel pressured, or- or like you had to be someone who you’re not. Because you’re not Holy Rome. Not anymore. You’re Germany.”

Germany straightened his back, the two considering each other. Their faces were now maybe a foot apart. Germany noticed as a ray of sunlight filtered across Italy’s eyes that they were almost honey gold in the sun. Even through tears. Germany felt such a storm of emotion. A blend of anger. Sorrow. Relief. Maybe even a little bit of happiness. But more than anything, he felt too much. And to add to that? Here Italy was apologizing for trying to protect him. He had honored the promise he made Prussia until he felt that Germany was ready. He blinked and wondered what Italy was thinking. He wondered if Italy shared the strong urge he had to lean over and close the short distance between them.

Gott, what was he thinking? He turned away. “Wipe away the tears. It’s a waste of time. You did what you did because you thought it was right, but it’s time to move on.” He stood. “We should probably think about dinner.”

Italy stood, wiping his eyes with the hem of his untucked shirt. “Okay. Yeah, you’re right. What do you want?”

Germany looked back at his friend, watching him clean himself up. He watched as Italy repaired himself to help him. To heal Germany, completely and unselfishly. Gott, it was a miracle that he ran into this man. Thinking about this, Germany felt a small smile come through. “I’m thinking pasta.”

Italy gave a watery grin as he swiped away the last tear tracks.

[empresswrites]

Anonymous asked:

oh my god that last drabble!!😭🙏 I’m sad that Marco and Ace are over forever but also Marco deserves this. would you be willing to write a more confrontational addition to this scene, where Marco tries to reconnect but is refused, and Sabo’s involved? its cool if you’re too busy/focused on spideypool, though

Well, since I was still having feels over it too! Here it is and the last of it as this is to end it all. Yes, Marco deserved it for hurting Acey! Ace is now happy with Sabo, who making sure Ace does what he wants! :3 I did this as I haven’t delved into another fic yet, so luckily I was able to set my mind straight for it XD

Ace had been surprised that his time the past few days in Moby have been splendid, feeling as Sabo keeps him grounded while there. It was a little stressful on certain places, but experiencing them with Sabo had turned things to that of ‘we should come by again’ instead of when Ace avoided it all like the plague. It was being washed over gratefully and they took a bunch of pictures together with their phones. Posting to show their friends on social media, Koala happy to see them having a great time as she was housing sitting for them and sending frequent pictures of Kotatsu, for Ace mainly.

A soft giggle leaves Ace as he views over the three pictures sent to him by Koala on what his little baby feline was up to, the mischief he got into as he missed his daddies. sitting on the bench on the docks to overlook the large lake, he was waiting for Sabo to bring along a drink so they could make new memories for him before having some lunch. The water is beautiful as it always has been and he lounged in the bench with a hand adjusting his shorts, the weather feeling great to linger around. Everyone was at work or lunch at this hour, which is why they wanted to linger to get past the rush hour.

“Ace...?” The voice brings a pang into the mention male’s chest with a rolling in his stomach as he pulls eyes away from the picture of Kotatsu standing ignorant to the potted plant on the ground next to him. The smile on him falls into a frown promptly as not too far from where he sits is standing someone he left for good to get himself to stop from drowning in sorrows and anxiety.

Remembering on what Sabo said, Ace immediately turns his head away as even with the years going by it left a pain in him. At some point he had gave this man a piece of his heart and he took that and merely kept a tight clutch on it in the darkest depths out of his reach, like a siren dragging it to drown it. The only way to refill that empty space was when he was with Sabo. Quickly moving, he stands and shoves his phone away after locking the screen and goes to walk away.

“Come on, yoi. Just wait a minute and... and let me explain...” It’s almost a plea in the voice and brings a pull in Ace’s chest of gripping anxiety and light anger. Feet stop as he tries to control himself from trembling as he was weak still, not understanding on why and it was like the anchor was attached to him now, pulling him into the depths again.

“Explain? Explain what?” Ace tries out while turning to face those blue eyes with a scowl on his freckled face, trying to fight that the other looks guilty.

“Look, I was wrong, okay? I thought I was helping you see the reality of the world as most things require education.” Marco starts up with hands out, looking to be on his lunch break from his attire and it was any wonder how he found Ace here.

“It’s not that I am not smart, it’s just I like other aspects than those stupid STEM things that everyone seems to think are so important than the creative side of someone’s brain.” Ace snaps to defend himself, anything about education brought that out of him as Marco did that to him, always defensive on his intelligence as his brain functioned differently and it wasn’t like he couldn’t understand; Ace just didn’t like it.

“I never said you weren’t smart, I just said it was better to have that. Showing places that you are, yoi.” Marco persists with a small frown as if he was scolding a child and that tone, Ace hated it.

“Oh? Then what about all the magazines I help out? All I did was show my pictures and they didn’t care about the school part of things. I even write articles for them about what happens. I even do photos and drawings for books, I’ll have you know.” Arms crossed as he was sure to rub it all in on how much Marco held him back, no matter how much he felt the need to run.

“I know, I noticed your name on them. It took time to get there, which we could have done together and I may have been able to get you there quicker.” The words show how much Marco wanted to control the situation and it was bad for Ace as he was used to that with him specifically.

“I did this myself and the support from my friends and my boyfriend.” Ace grits out, wanting to clarify that he was with someone new and not leaving them no matter what.

“I always supported you, helped by giving you a place to live and not feeling like you were burdening someone else. I gave you love and affection that you wanted, plus made sure to keep you on track, what more was there for me to do? I gave my all and then you started to distance from me, yoi. My words never seemed to sink into you.” The way his tone turns to fully stern has Ace frustrated and arms tightening across his chest.

“They did sink into me like a fucking anchor and drowning me!” Ace snaps back as he holds his ground as much as he can and the other shifts lightly with a tilt of his head.

Oh no...

“Ace, I did everything because I love you. Trying to lead you down a path that would help you and give you a stable outcome. I told you that, every time I held you at night with a hand running along your side with reassurance.” Marco dips his tone softer in a coaxing that always drove Ace back into his arms and he felt his body tremble slightly in anxiety, not wanting to remember the good as there was a fine line when the lines blurred from what was controlling and what was affection. “You started to push me away, but I stayed strong next to you while you figured out everything. I knew it was something that you were feeling overwhelmed and I told you it was fine to come home once you settled down.”

“You said ‘once you are done being a brat then you can come home’.” The new voice has Ace shift and look to behind him, a relief bursts through him as something was sent out to help him stay afloat once again. “Not a very good way to try and get someone to forgive you, Mr. Fennec.” The sharp tone leaves Sabo as he comes up next to Ace with a reassuring smile and lightly rubs his hand to an arm. Those arms uncrossed to immediately have a hand in the other’s, feeling a thumb rub his in comfort.

“Well, when a tantrum is thrown you must be stern, yoi.” Marco remarks, looking displeased of someone joining the conversation.

“A tantrum? Ace was having an argument, unless that’s what you also see it at work? Is that what others at your workplace do? Throw a tantrum? Then I guess it was good my friend never went to work for your company.” Sabo uses his sharp tongue, being someone who went to college in mostly English classes to be a writer. He had been raised in a home where high grades were only acceptable and you had to go to college. The first two years of college had been picked by his parents until he left to pursue what he wanted, staying with Hack at the time.

“No, we have a calm debate to come to an agreement.”

“Oh, good, then this can easily be solved. Stay out of my boyfriend’s life, you have done enough damage to him. Plus, it was ten years ago, so I feel like you should have moved on as well, Mr. Fennec?” Avoiding the first name as he speaks stern with that of a business atmosphere brings comfort that Ace was being defended so firmly. He had been losing himself in anxiety, never turning back to Marco as he loved Sabo, but he felt himself drowning again from his thoughts from before. 

Marco seems to understand the little control of the situation he has no with a third party involved, jaw clenching as he looks to be observing the two of them. Ace is clutching to his boyfriend’s hand, wanting to be anywhere but here. It brings a spiral in him on how he had been having such a great time and it was ruined again from the same person who had done this to him in the first place.

“I think that’s all that needs to be said. Wanna go eat now, babe? We could go to that one you loved?” Sabo already starts distracting him, trying to pull his mind away from drowning too much into the depths and he smiles up.

“Yeah, I love their burgers and promise they have pasta you would love!” Ace almost chirps, feeling comfort as a hand slides along his hip to start directing him away.

“Sounds great, especially as the shack for drinks was busy... Maybe tomorrow have some of those drinks?” Sabo is sure to bring up the conversation while leading his lover on back to shore to be back into that embrace he has established with him. Ace leans into him more as he feels safe and finally complete, the clenching being pushed away by that soothing breeze.

He cuts that rope to separate himself from the anchor and hopes this is the last time he will ever talk with the man.

[deadlyswarm]

family is more than blood ch 6 ( thanks giving special that i forgot to put here XD)

Sans had a good quality talk with the parents, however only so much could be done. Some students still gave Frisk  mean looks. It didn’t help that some adults did the same,they just tried to hide it better.  At some point he needed to have a chat with Undyne about the possibility of her paying the school a visit. However his thoughts were interrupted by Alphys calling him.

“ ‘sup al, howsit goin?”

“H-Hi Sans, um...good, d-do you have a moment to swing by the lab, t-there's something kinda neat that i think you should hear about.” Sans agreed and popped over to the lab, where Alphys showed him a waterlogged magazine with something called ‘thanksgiving’ written on it. She had said that it had  peaked her curiosity and so she took it to the lab to restore what she could. From what she could gather, it was a holiday celebrated in the country that they were in, and it came from Frisk’s world. It was a holiday where families  gathered for large meals, and give thanks for what they have. There were several traditions listed, such as different kinds of food that was typically eaten, with the primary focus being turkey.

“A-And I think that w-we should give this holiday thing a try, that way if….when we get out of here Frisk won’t be as separated from the world she came from.” Sans smiled

“ that sounds like a great idea. So all of us, undyne, asgore, you, and paps and i, she’ll get a kick out of it.”

“O-Oh and you could get that lady you and Frisk visit to come too, and maybe introduce us t-to your new friend? U-Unless she really wants her privacy, I mean i know how that is….” Alphys started to sweat. However she noticed something else, as he started to speak, a few small flecks of blue appeared on his cheekbones…...no way.

“ well she does kinda prefer her privacy, but i can see if i can’t get her to swing by” Sans said with a wink.

Of course, it would take time and planning to get their schedules lined up right, but during this time, Sans made sure to speak with Toriel. He knew that she had no desire to speak to or even see Asgore, and yet Frisk would love having the both of them there. However , her business was very much her own. He decided just to bring it up gently, and if she ultimately said no, it would be the end of it. While Frisk was at school, Sans met with Toriel inside the Ruins.

Toriel beamed when Sans described their plan to re-create a holiday for Frisk.

“Oh my that is simply wonderful!” Sans shrugged.

“well, i mean, everyone’s gonna be there of course, undyne, alphys and uh….asgore. so i mean if you don't want to come i get it. we could either call you over when he heads out, or hang out here a little bit after the whole thing.”

Toriel thought on this. She had little desire to see Asgore. All her begging and pleading for him to see reason, only to see him and so many others turn to willingly harming children. This was the reason she stayed in the Ruins, for she could not bear to see what the people had become. However, this no longer seemed to be the case. This child was clearly loved by many people and deserved a time to be surrounded by all of them. All that sealing herself away had accomplished was to delay the inevitable, and let her own bitterness fester. How could she not, should she have instead watched as the man she married slowly faded away and become replaced with the very thing humans were afraid of?  But at the same time, how long has she been cooped up in the ruins, and what good has it done her? Seeing the child happy surrounded by people who love her…..that may be worth braving the world once more.

“I….I think I will. Though I would ask that you inform Asgore, as to avoid shock when I arrive.” Sans nodded and went to begin the prep, and boy was it a doozy.

When Toriel came to Sans’ home and he let her in, she saw Frisk being chased by Papyrus and Undyne, with the child giggling wildly. The trio stopped when they saw her, Undyne muttering

“No way….” under her breath.

“AH HELLO YOUR MAJESTY….WAIT DID YOU SHAVE?” Toriel laughed

“Oh no, I am-”

“Miss Tori! You’re here!” Frisk cried as she ran to give Toriel a hug.

“Ah greetings my child, it appears you are having quite the ball.” Frisk nodded and Toriel turned her attention back to Papyrus and Undyne.

“I am Toriel, and You must be Papyrus! Your brother has told me much about you!”

“OH REALLY? WELL THERE IS MUCH FOR HIM TO TELL! HE HAS ONLY TOLD ME YOU WERE A GOOD FRIEND WHO WANTED TO MAINTAIN SOME PRIVACY.”

“Yes, for a time that was true, but i hear we are doing something special and thought that I would like to help, if that is okay.”

“OF COURSE! THE MORE THE MERRIER! RIGHT UNDYNE?” Papyrus said, turning to her. Undyne looked at the former queen, rage beginning to bubble up. How dare she leave everyone when they were hurting the most? How dare she leave Asgore to pick up all the pieces…..and yet she looked at Frisk and that rage faded. She did not need to see her aunt tearing into someone she saw as a friend. That conversation will have to happen later. So instead she put on a smile

“Yeah! So can you cook?”

“Oh yes, but Sans told me you two are excellent chefs!” at this Frisk eyed Sans and had to stop herself from laughing. She knew that miss Tori was gonna come out of that kitchen covered in pasta sauce in a matter of minutes.

“Darn right we are!”

“NONE CAN MATCH THE CULINARY PROWESS OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

An hour later Toriel watched as somehow Papyrus and Undyne set a pot of water ablaze.

“Oh my…”

The group decided to wait a few days so they could get things together for the feast. During this time, Toriel was preparing in the Ruins when she heard a loud knock on the door. She went to open it to find Undyne on the other side.

“Ah hello Undyne, do come in.”

“Yeah….thanks.” Something seemed off about Undyne, but Toriel couldn't quite place what. The fish woman was shaking.

“Look, i came here because boy do I have words for you, but i didn’t need the punk to see that. You know Asgore told me a lot about you? He raised me for the most part, trained me, and I became head of the royal guard. In that time I learned a lot of things. So i have a few questions.” Anger filled her voice, and from what she had said, Toriel had a feeling what those questions would be.

“Why did you up and leave? You didn’t just move out on him, you VANISHED.  After…..all that happened he loses you too? And do you have any idea what that did to the moral of all the people you left behind?! Do you even care?” Toriel’s face went stern.

“I shall answer them with this. You know what happened to Asriel and Chara…..do you honestly think i wanted to see MORE dead children? All the begging and pleading I did with that man to stop and think because that isn’t what Asriel would have wanted him to become at all! Do you think i enjoyed seeing my once husband looming over the broken corpse of a CHILD?” Undyne winced.

“That may be a good reason, but that doesn't mean what you did didn’t have negative consequences. You didn’t have to seal yourself away. I won’t say you should have stayed because hell I can’t imagine what you two were going through, but….you didn’t have to outright abandon everyone. Did you know that once you left, more monsters started to fall down, even though we had a human soul?” Toriel looked shocked

“I’ll take that as a no. When that happened, Asgore was fully trapped in his choice. If he had quit when he wanted to,  he was afraid that would dash away what hopes the people had left. He hates himself for it, but he feels like he has no choice in the matter, and the last thing he needs is you dragging him in the dirt even more. If you decide to talk to him, you should know that like you, he’s been through hell.” Toriel took a moment to allow the words to sink in. Undyne did have a point, what she did was not the best way to handle things, and she stayed hidden out of repulsion for those who had looked up to her.

“You are correct. The way I handled things was not the best choice… it is clear that neither Asgore nor myself were capable of making a better one. However what is done, is done. Four of the children he killed were ones that I had cared for, ones that I sought to protect, only for them to leave and be taken from this world by the man I once thought would never be capable of such horrific acts. That….I do not think I can so easily forgive.” Undyne sighed

“Look, when you put it like that, I get it. If someone had tried to kill Frisk, I’d be furious. She ain’t even my kid and i’d protect her with my life, just as much as any  other monster down here. I won’t say you have to forgive him, because honestly no you don’t. He did something bad that hurt you and you left. That, I do actually understand.”  Toriel nodded

“Thank you, though I will take what you said to heart.” Undyne held out her hand for  a handshake and grinned. Toriel accepted and between them, an underlying respect for one another formed. Toriel may not have wanted to hear her own faults…..but she needed to. Sans, being as kind as he is, never would have pressed that far, nor would Asgore.

While Toriel dealt with Undyne, Sans made sure to forewarn Asgore that Toriel would in fact be coming. He seems happy, but in reality he knew full well that she would still be angry with him.

Thank god Toriel had agreed to help with the cooking. Undyne tried to make a turkey via deep fryer, burning down her house for the thousandth time. Aside from flames, the walls were also adorned with various sauces and splotches of flour. The skeleton brother’s only fared somewhat better, with Frisk and Papyrus cooking. As Frisk stirred things and mixed, she began humming bonetroussle which made Papyrus’ day.  A knock was heard at the door, and when Sans opened the door with his magic, Toriel stood there.

“Greetings Sans! Where are Frisk and Papyrus?” but just as she said it a huge CLANG rang in the kitchen. Toriel and sans looked and began to laugh. Frisk was covered in pasta noodles, flour, and sauce, giggling hysterically.

“Ngaaaaah!”

“FRISK THAT WAS A GOOD UNDYNE IMPRESSION! BUT WE SHOULD GET YOU CLEANED UP, OH HELLO  THERE!” Papyrus said as he noticed Toriel. Frisk hopped down from her stool and an up to her.

“Miss Tori! I'm getting to help Pappy cook!” Toriel smiled

“Well i can see that! Though it appears most of the meal is all over you!” Frisk laughed as Sans took the child up to get washed.

Eventually everyone gathered bringing various food items such as ramen, Spaghetti, Turkey made by Toriel, and several sides provided by Asgore. When Frisk was brought inside she gasped, seeing all of her friends and family in one spot. Papyrus however was noticing something else. Throughout the whole thing, Sans could hardly take his eyes off of Toriel. Their puns were insufferable, but…..Toriel was doing the exact same thing with Sans. it was strange, almost as if…..could his brother be falling in love?

“Wow so that's what all the cooking was for?  What’s going on?” Alphys walked over

“W-Well we learned about this thing that some humans too around t-this time of year. They like to gather with their family and friends for huge meals for some quality family time! We thought that we would t-try the holiday out.” Frisk was beaming

“Really? That's so cool!” Toriel came out of the kitchen, announcing that everything was set up. As they ate Undyne would talk about her day, Papyrus would talk of various puzzles he made and Sans cracked several puns.  Toriel found herself constantly laughing. Whether it was Sans’ puns, or Undyne and Papyrus’ antics, and especially if those antics involved them playing with Frisk. She watched as everyone began to become overtaken by a food coma. Undyne and Alphys fell asleep on the floor side by side, with the T.V still on. Asgore fell asleep in a rocking chair the brothers had gotten. The skeleton brothers happened to be passed out next to her on the couch. Frisk was propped up on Sans’ sternum, her head rising and falling with Sans’ breaths. She seemed to snuggle into the fluff of Sans jacket as the two slept. Sans of course, was propped up against a sleeping Papyrus. As Toriel looked around her she realized something.

She missed having moments like these. Back before everything went to hell in a handbasket. She, the children, and Asgore would do similar things often…..she never would have thought before now that she could ever feel that level of happiness and joy again. But looking around the room, after all she witnessed, Frisk was surrounded by everything a child needs to live a good life, and she was honored to be a part of that. As she pondered these feelings, She too began to nod off, leaving not a single soul awake in the house.