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[kaymanzz]

Stella : Hello Flora !

[millerskitty]

Running If You Call My Name

❥ dbf!joel / f!reader x joel miller

❥ (18+) nsfw

❥ reader insert

❥ medium burn, no outbreak au. some timelines are changed to fit the story.

dividers by @/saradika !

click here for chapter 1

click here for chapter 2

click here for chapter 3

warnings: angst, lots of angst, angry joel, mentions of infidelity

Chapter 4

The call came in the middle of the night. Sarah had texted you “SOS” and “You up?” half a dozen times and you’d only woken up when she’d finally called you.

“Hello? What’s wrong, Sarah?” You asked groggily.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” She sniffled, “I need you to come over tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“Please. It's not a medical emergency, it’s for emotional support.” She sounded desperate.

“Fine, meet me on your lawn in five minutes.” You hung up and threw your feet over the edge of the bed. You realized it was two in the morning. You grabbed a toothbrush and a blanket and walked over in your little shorts, tank top and bunny slippers.

“I’m so sorry to wake you. I swear I wouldn’t if it wasn’t a crisis.” Sarah whined.

“Shh, s’okay, I’m here, love,” you said, wrapping your arm around her and heading into the Miller home.

You hadn’t even registered that you’d practically snuck into Joel’s house until you were sat in Sarah’s room on her twin bed. She turned on the Christmas lights that decorated her bedroom walls so you could properly see.

“So what’s going on?” You asked, rubbing your eyes.

“My girlfriend…” She looked down at her feet. “She cheated on me tonight.”

Your jaw dropped for many reasons, but firstly because you didn’t know that Sarah was dating anyone. “Girlfriend?” You exclaimed.

“Shhh!” She said, nodding her head towards Joel’s bedroom. “Don’t want them to hear us.”

“You mean Joel?” You asked. Them? As in plural?

“Yeah and his, whatever she is.” Sarah said, shrugging.

You didn’t have time to ask, you fought to stay on topic and settled for getting details later despite the pit that formed in your stomach.

“You have a girlfriend and she cheated on you?” you whispered.

“Yes, and she doesn’t know that I know yet.”

“Well how are you sure?”

“Someone showed me proof. She’s spending the night at a guy’s house.” Sarah’s eyes welled up with tears and you grabbed ahold of her hand, caressing it with your thumb.

“Who could possibly know that-”

“The guy’s brother is one of my closest friends and Avery doesn’t know that.” Sarah whispered, her voice cracking, “He sent me a lot of pictures of them cuddling in their living room and then one of them heading to the guy’s bedroom.”

“Oh, honey…” Your own eyes welled up with tears. “She’s fucking horrible for this.”

Sarah’s lip quivered. “Why do I still love her?” She broke into a muffled sob, clinging to your arm.

It was a loaded question. You wondered how it was possible to love someone who’d hurt you so badly. You thought of Joel and his rejection, how he’d made you feel like you weren’t worth the risk despite sharing feelings for each other. You knew that this didn’t quite compare to full on infidelity, but it was all you had.

“Because you have a forgiving nature and a generous heart.” You said, rubbing her back.

“She was my best friend, I don’t know how she could possibly forget about me.”

“Sometimes people do fucked up things,” You pulled her down to be your little spoon.

“It feels like Hell. I don’t know what to do with all this pain.”

“Feel it, think about what you’re going to say to her. See if she confesses, and then make a decision.”

“What would you do?” She sniffed.

“I’m not so merciful. I would humiliate him and then cut him out of my life completely.”

“How?”

“I’d show his mom the proof and show her the son she’d raised was nothing more than a tool.”

Sarah giggled at the idea of showing Avery’s mom what kind of child she’d been raising.

You spent hours talking about the situation until you fell asleep.

~

You woke to the sound of Sarah whispering your name and shaking you. Light flooded the room from the large window and you remembered the night before. You panicked, sitting up in her small bed and checking the time on your phone. It was eight a.m. Pop was at church. You were in Joel Miller’s home. You were starting to devise a plan to escape unseen when Sarah interrupted your thought process.

“Hello? I said she confessed.” Sarah waved a hand in front of your face.

“Oh. Wow. Good morning, did you even sleep?”

“Some, but you stole the blanket so I was cold and I woke up to see a super long message from Avery. She confessed to the whole thing. But my friend said it was because she’d figured out that I was close with him. I guess she’d seen my pictures on their fridge at some point and realized.” Sarah said.

“Fuck. So you think she’s trying to save face? Did she-Did they?”

Sarah’s eyes welled up with tears again, “Yeah.”

“Baby girl, I am so sorry…” You pulled her into your arms and let her cry for a few minutes.

“I’m going to do it.”

“Do what?” You asked, pulling her back to look in her eyes.

“I’m gonna show her mom what kind of girl she raised.” She said, her lip quivering.

“Oh, you don’t have to. I don’t want to be a bad influence.”

“It's going to make me feel better. And then I’ll cut her out of my life.” Sarah wiped her face with a long sleeve.

“I stand by you no matter what, kiddo.” You said, standing up and stretching. “Mind if I use the bathroom?”

“Girl, please. Take your ass to the bathroom.” She half smiled, plopping down onto her back and getting straight to texting up a storm.

You poked your head out of the room, toothbrush in hand and then made your way quietly down the hall and reached for the doorknob to the bathroom before it was yanked out of your reach.

A young redheaded woman stood there in a t-shirt. One of Joel’s t-shirts.

“Who are you?” She asked, her brow raised.

“That’s my daughter,” Joel said, coming around the corner. He stopped cold in his tracks to see you face to face with his “whatever she was".

“I’m actually not, I’m his neighbor. I’m here with his daughter. But I was just leaving.” You said after a very awkward moment of silence.

Your body was on fire with embarrassment, you had no time to register the shock of seeing Joel shirtless, freshly fucked by the woman you’d just met.

You popped your head into Sarah’s bedroom. “Hey, something came up. Gotta go, but text me all the details.”

“Okay, thank you for being here for me!” She called as you ducked out and headed for the front door. You heard the sound of footsteps padding on the wooden floor behind you, sending a chill down your spine as you made it to the door and practically leapt out of it.

He called your name. Once, twice, then on the third time you swung around, anger had finally registered. “What the fuck do you want?” You spat.

“What’re you doing here, let’s start with that?” Joel hissed.

“I was here to emotionally support your kid through something she obviously couldn’t bring to her preoccupied father.” You knew you had no right, but the venom spewed from your mouth anyways. You regretted it immediately.

“What?” Joel shook his head in disbelief. “When did you get here?”

“In the middle of the night, she called me crying. Girl problems. It's fine though, it’s handled.”

“Look, I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Joel said, stepping closer to you.

“I don’t care, Joel. I have no right to feel any type of way about who you put your dick in.” Your voice was getting louder and you knew you should have stopped, but it felt too good to say how you felt to the man in front of you.

“But you do. You do care, don’t you?” Joel asked, towering over you, just a foot of space between you.

“No, I don’t.” Liar.

“Hmm. Funny, I’ve never seen you this upset in all the time I’ve known you. So I call bullshit.”

“I’m not in the mood for your mind games, Joel.” You said, starting to turn away when his hand wrapped around your wrist and he pulled you to face him.

“I’m not the one playing games. Does Chad know you give such a huge fuck about your old man of a neighbor?” He had the nerve to crack a smile.

“Caleb? No. Why would I tell him about the biggest mistake of my life?” You said, instantly regretting it. Joel’s face fell and a little piece of your soul descended to Hell.

“Mistake, huh?”

“Well, what else would you call it? You made a fucking fool of me.” Joel’s hand was still holding onto your wrist when the front door swung open and Sarah came jogging out with your blanket and phone in hand.

“Hey, you forgot your-” She stopped when she saw her father’s hand on you. “You guys okay?”

Joel dropped his hand. “Course, baby, just tell me next time you bring a guest over, will you?”

“Dad, it’s just” She said your name and Joel’s eyes flashed over to yours guiltily.

She looked between you and then decided to remain neutral, handing you your things and slowly retreating back into the house.

“I’m sorry,” Joel said, rubbing the bridge of his hooked nose.

“Don’t even mention it. We can pretend like it never happened, right?” Your words aimed to kill, but they killed a part of you too.

[numberonetacostan]

TACO'S (POTENTIAL) FRIENDSHIPS TIERLIST

Explanations for my placements! Placements in each row are in no particular order.

Disclaimer: I am a media enjoyer, not a media analyzer. These are just my thoughts, so nothing is objectively wrong, but if one of my takes is OOC or you disagree I’d be happy to hear why as long as you’re nice about it :). 

Tier 1: Tacomic!!! <3

Mic: YURI YURI YURI YURI!!!! Their yuri can be un-toxic’d now and that makes me very happy :). Don’t get me wrong, I love toxic yuri, but I’m really glad to see them work things out!!! Mic can be more assertive, and Taco is trying to be better!! Anyways, I do think that they will start out as just friends as they rebuild their relationship and learn how to interact with each other in a healthier way without the competition in the way, and there will certainly be bumps in the road, but after some time I truly believe that we will have yuri. Taco is going to try calming down on the objectively bad stuff she does and work on apologizing when she does mess up!! And Mic can hold her more accountable while also being someone Taco can rely on to stay by her side. Especially with Soap helping out, making sure Taco apologizes rather than avoiding the issue and/or doubling down, and making sure Mic keeps up her established boundaries in terms of not immediately letting Taco off the hook, as she has a bad habit of doing. I love tacomic so so much, and I am 100000% sure that they can work towards and create a healthy and happy relationship that makes them both better people. If you don’t feel like yuri-ing today, you can see them as besties too, but regardless Mic takes the top spot!!!

Tier 2: Friendship is inevitable

Soap: As mentioned above, I think having Soap around will be really helpful for Taco! Someone who doesn’t hold ill-will towards her but is very willing to hold her accountable! A good balance. We saw Soap throwing away her cleaning supplies and telling Mic to listen to her heart, so she’s clearly got some good thoughts on self-improvement! Also Mic has clearly told her about all the non-competition related stuff that she and Taco did, lesbianing around and such, she’s got a pretty clear idea of who Taco is beyond the competition, which can’t be said for most of the cast. And since Taco will definitely be sticking by Mic’s side for the foreseeable future, she’ll get to know Soap pretty well too!! They can do karaoke together!!! Hooray!!!! :D.

Balloon: This one’s pretty obvious, eh? He had his whole redemption arc from when he was a jerk in season 1, and now he sees someone else who wants to start on that journey? He has the chance to help someone in the way Suitcase helped him? FUCK yeah they’re gonna be friends. He even struggled with giving a proper apology as seen in episode 9!! Just like Taco did!! (I love her, but that was the worst apology I’ve ever heard actually). He’s also quite the sensitive guy, which I think could pair well with Taco and her inability to emotion. [Maybe I should make that long post on why I think Taco is autistic. TLDR we have the same kind of autism.] But anyways! I think he could really help her with breaking out of those negative behavioral patterns and turning yourself around! The advice that OJ gave to him would probably work ever better for Taco. A new chance to meet new people who she didn’t do anything bad to! She hasn’t met most of the s2 or any of the s3 joiners, so she has a pretty clean slate with them, even if they’d heard of her misdeeds. I think she would initially think his poetry was stupid, and then find it really relatable and emotional, and then keep pretending she finds it stupid when anyone she isn’t very close to is around. They can talk about the crushing feeling of guilt, regret, and your sins!! They’ve both fucked up and found out, and now Taco is getting on the path to fixing it that Balloon took. Forgiving yourself is an important step to moving past your mistakes, and he could help her with that. Also, despite s3 going with a final 3 rather than a final 2, he did place second vote-wise, so he and Taco can be in the runner-up club together!!! They both enjoy classical music too, as a fun little bit, so they could parallel play (the best way to spend time with someone) together while listening to it!! 

Suitcase: Our s2 winner!! And never giving up on anyone QUEEN. Can you tell I love Suitcase yet? Beyond Truth or Flare, they haven’t interacted much, but given the fact that Taco broke in front of her, her kindness, and the fact that she NEVER GIVES UP ON ANYONE (Can you tell I love Suitcase yet?) I think she and Taco could become friends! Girlies who can put things in their heads <3 <3. With Suitcase having become more assertive, in a similar vein to Mic there isn’t a risk for Taco to, for a lack of a better term, steamroll over her. And of course Taco is working to be better, so she would be trying to not to do that anyways! Suitcase is also so sweet and empathetic towards others, I think Taco could benefit from that example! Empathy doesn’t seem to come very naturally to Taco (see that one autistic taco post that I really need to make), but Suitcase could be a great person to learn from, in Mepad’s absence! (Rest in Peace King I Love You). And Suitcase could also work in a similar vein to Balloon and Mepad with getting Taco to be kind to herself. She has a lot of self-loathing after everything, and hasn’t experienced a lot of kindness from others having been alone in the woods for years. Suitcase’s resilience in staying kind despite other’s actions (but standing up for herself when necessary, of course), could be really good for Taco, in the evitable moment that she lashes out. Recovery and self-betterment isn’t linear, you know? And someone like Suitcase who can go to her in these moments still offering kindness, acceptance, and help is vital.

Baseball: The fumbler himself!! He would take Lightbulb’s advice about making sure he’s looking to heart!! And she told him where to look!! At Taco, who is drowning!! He was the lowest-ranked in season 1, so aside from three episodes and the Stupid Trailer, he wasn’t really around for her whole s1 act. He can get to know her as herself, which isn’t something that can be said for most of the other season 1 contestants. I’d also wager he feels partially responsible for her and Mic’s little alliance too, Mic’s own feelings of worthlessness and how he had constantly put her down being the core reasons why Taco chose her and was able to convince her to work together. He’d want to try and fix things with Mic too, and since Tacomic, he’d end up hanging out with Taco too. Besides, he already has a best friend who’s a short lil gremlin, he could definitely get along with Taco. And speaking of Baseball’s short lil gremlin…

Nickel: Hoo boy, I have plenty to say about a Taco and Nickel friendship!! Nickel fucked up his relationships with Suitcase and Balloon big time over not trusting that Balloon actually wanted to be better, and assuming that he couldn’t change. But he has learned his lesson!! Not only has he seen and acknowledged that Balloon changed, apologized to and befriended him, but Nickel changed too!! Hooray!! His ass would not want to make that mistake again. As well, we’ve heard from Brian recently that Nickel low-key admires what Taco pulled off in season 1. Not as much so after his character development, but still, he feels more positively about her true personality than her fake one!! That is not the general sentiment among the s1 cast!! They’re standing next to each other during the concert at the end of the finale, and he even sings backup for her during the reprise of “She Forgot”!. They have clearly already become friends, I’m not taking criticism on this one actually. They’re both sarcastic little shits trying to be better people! Nickel could empathize with the automatic-response-being-something-mean thing!! Also, since Suitcase does not want to see him (valid) he and Baseball should probably make some new friends anyways! Might as well chat with another mostly-alone object, yeah? Sigh. Two mean shorties against the world. On their own there might be a risk of them making each other worse but I think the people around them could keep that from happening. I really love Nico(?) friendship. 

Marshmallow: Mepad mourning. They were both the players helped the most by Mepad, they’re mourning his loss the most (other than Toilet, more on him next ;)) and I think they could connect over that, especially with Taco trying to be more open and honest emotionally, just like Mepad was helping her to be, yeah? Her grief over Mepad is a good place to start. They were also some of the first two contestants to realize how bad the game was for those involved and their relationships. Even if it took Taco longer to get there, they end up sharing the same negative view towards the game before the others do! This was even mentioned in the pre-episode 17 stream!! They also both have a complicated relationship with Knife! We don’t get to see too much of how Marsh feels towards Knife after the whole heroic-sacrifice, but I don’t see her immediately being all buddy-buddy with him. And Taco, who is confirmed to care about his well-being don’t argue with me on this one, has the whole thing with him and Mic going, and he might even be more watchful of her as she and Mic continue to patch things up and work towards healthy yuri. Going back to Marsh not totally forgiving Knife, this could help Taco with better understanding how Pickle feels about her. Knife wronged Marsh pretty hard in the past, and even if he’s sorry and has changed, she can still feel hurt and not want to forgive him. And she could vent these feelings to Taco when they’re talking about Knife!! And this is so so similar to how Taco greatly wronged Pickle in the past, and even if she’s sorry and wants to change, he can still feel hurt and not want to forgive her. With lower empathy, it can be really helpful for someone to explain how they feel about something and why, so I think someone more willing to explain a similar situation to her (since Pickle will not be sitting down with her and explaining how he feels) could really help her out in learning to back off and let Pickle live his life even if that life doesn’t include her. Mepad is incredibly proud of both of them frfr Mepad said so in a cameo. 

Toilet: Before I start this one I’d like to clarify I will also not be taking criticism here Toico friendship is so very inevitable you don’t even know. I got a cameo from @justin-chapmanswers right after the finale because I was so very sad about Mepad and they confirmed to me that Toilet and Taco could and would bond over missing Mepad. Toico friendship is “so incredibly important” AND I COULD NOT AGREE MORE. He was the only person that they had to care for them and that believed in them for a period of time each and now, even if Taco has Mic back, they’re both missing that bond they had with him because he’s dead (I am so MeSad). Toilet’s persistence with people would also be really important to their connection! Despite how Mephone constantly yelled at and belittled him, Toilet kept going and stayed kind and dutiful to him! And while that did make their relationship unhealthy, I think it could be beneficial to Toico friendship! Taco is trying to change and do better, but as I believe I said previously that’s not linear. She is going to lash out or fall back on old habits at some point, what matters is that she apologizes and keeps trying to be better. She’s not going to apologize to Toilet after years of this treatment like Mephone did, she will, in her process of growth, apologize to him when she knows she’s hurt him, and she will make sure to treat him better. And her doing this consistently when she messes up is key!!! Because Toilet is Toilet, we love Toilet in this house, and he’ll forgive her. And they will talk about how important Mepad was to them, and it will be healing and beautiful. Again I will be taking 0 criticism on this Toico friendship is everything to me actually. She can sit on his head like where he carried the spaghetti in episode 1. Oh no I’m listening to the cameo again and now I am crying /vpos. 

Pepper: Yeah i ship tacopep too what are you gonna do about it i want taco to be loved. But more seriously, I think these two could make a really solid connection. Pepper is another one of the season 1 contestants that didn’t interact too much with the fake-Taco that competed in season 1, so there wasn’t much of a connection there to be spoiled. She probably jumped on the hate-train thanks to Salt, but maybe she should spend a bit less time with Salt anyways, yeah? Branch out some more. Which she could do with Taco! Take one look at Taco and tell me she doesn’t love to gossip. Taco and Pepper could probably gossip for hours, I mean, Taco has surely missed a lot of gossip having been outside of the hotel for so long. And Pepper gets to lead the conversation and talk!! Taco does try to take control of situations automatically, but hey, she’s trying to change for the better, and maybe not try to scheme and mastermind quite as much, yeah? And Pepper could do well being more assertive having been made to follow whatever Salt is doing. I think this friendship would need to pick up a bit later down the line for Taco to be in a place where she isn’t trying to take over so often and Pepper to be in a place where she’s not keeping herself attached to Salt, but I do think it could be a sweet and healthy friendship! Also I tend to think of them both as lesbians and sometimes you need a lesbian best friend to discuss Women with.

Candle: Would immediately be able to tell that Taco needs some serious therapy/help. And Candle loves to be needed for therapy/help! Perfect match! But really, Candle managed to tame both Yin-Yang and Silver over the course of a season, she could definitely help Taco out!! And it would be pretty difficult for Taco to keep her true feelings hidden from someone who can tell what’s happening just by looking at her! She would hate that at first but it would be helpful for her. I do think she would dislike Candle’s salt rock thingy though, it would probably just rile her up more. BUT really I think Candle could be a good help to Taco as she recovers. Candle will help everyone after all the stuff from the finale I think, which would not at all be a way to cope with everything. Keeping herself busy. Being needed in the way she was made to need. This isn’t a Candle analysis aaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Goo: My #1 and #3 must be friends, it’s mandatory (my #2 is Mepad, of course). Taco’s miserable and messy self could absolutely use a visit from the cheer factory, and I think she’d get one! I think Goo would be able to take the news of being created by Mephone better than you’d think, honestly. His best friend was created by Fan and Test Tube, so what if they’re created by Mephone, y’know? That just makes them more like his best buddy Bot!! Not being able to be recovered might make him anxious, but that’s just an unfortunate truth that they’re all going to need to get used to. (Unless whatever the Shimmers are giving them is a recovery device. Brian said it’s up to interpretation but i do not want to interpret i want answers!!). Okay, back to Gooco friendship. He’s such a positive, genuine, and sweet little fella it’s pretty hard for anyone not to like him, and that includes Taco!! Someone she not only doesn’t have baggage with, but she has never even met coming to cheer her up? She has had very few positive interactions with others over the years, this is meaningful to her!!! Being around a positive little thinker like Goo could be good for her, AND they are at perfect hugging height for one another. I don’t see Taco giving out too much physical affection but I can very much see her enjoying it even if she won’t admit it. AND AND having lived in the woods for so long, Taco would know the best place to find his beloved pinecones.

Tea Kettle: She already has one little gremlin child in Nickel, what’s another one? Seriously!! I’m not sure if it would exactly be a friendship, probably the more motherly dynamic she has with Nickel, Balloon, and quite a few other characters, but new mom acquired is not a category so she goes here. Taco, who has been living in the woods for years needing to scavenge and steal for food, would enjoy some hors d'oeuvres!! And this would immediately endear her to Tea Kettle, since she loves it so much when people eat her food (adorable). She, like Candle, and probably everyone else at this point, would pretty easily be able to tell that Taco needs some extra TLC, and like the other s3 joiners, doesn’t have anything personal against Taco. Her motherly instincts would immediately kick in, and again such casual kindness and affection for Taco after all this time? Everything. Key to Taco’s recovery and self-betterment. Also, Taco loves tea!!! TK would refill her cup without even being asked <3. 

Tier 3: Pleasant Acquaintances 

Lightbulb: OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW. Lightbulb would be sweet and friendly and silly and herself and would absolutely 1000% consider herself friends with Taco! Them only being acquaintances is fully on Taco. It’s not because she has a personal problem with Lightbulb though! We have heard from the crew (questionnaire after one of the finale screenings, I believe) that Lightbulb reminds Taco a lot of how she used to act in season 1. The earlier she is in her recovery, the harder that would be for her, yeah? There’s also the fact that Lightbulb would have been her choice to partner up with had Mic been eliminated earlier. I like to interpret this as canon, not just on a meta level, that Taco actually had Lightbulb picked as her second choice. With Taco trying to be better, she’d probably feel guilty about that when interacting with Lightbulb,  and especially seeing how close she is with her allies friends. They might be able to be actual friends in the future, but in general Lightbulb might be a bit much for Taco. Though I’ll reiterate that Lightbulb would consider her a friend!! And include her in activities and be kind to her!! Because Lightbulb is sweet and lovely like that, the silliest goose of them all <3.

Apple: They’d probably interact a bit because of Taco’s friendship with Marsh, but Apple isn’t someone I’d see her seeking out for companionship, due to her being a little dumb <3. It’s okay we still love her, but Taco might not. She would be nice to Apple, because if Apple is upset then Marsh is upset at whatever caused it, yeah? And because it’s the right thing to do and all, but this latter reason might take a bit longer to kick in as Taco changes for the better.^^ Also, whether or not Apple knows that Taco was acting and isn’t just an entirely different person is still a bit muddled, so that would be a bit weird, yeah?

The Floor: Honestly just a nice, chill guy, don’t think he’d have any issues with Taco. She would see his movement as reminiscent of Mepad’s teleporting, which would give her the blues, but that’s not really Floory’s fault. Another teleporting assistant… Ah, well, my conspiracy can wait for another day. I don’t have too much to say for this pair, to be honest. I think they’d get along okay and everything, I just don’t see them seeking each other out as much as they each would with some others. Oh, they would both like to go on picnics, so that’s definitely a setting in which they’d interact! I do think The Floor and Toilet could be good friends, so they might end up hanging out together if they’re both with Toilet.^^ Besides, I can’t imagine him staying on Inanimate Island instead of returning to Paradise, since it is his home, so he’d stay more connected with the other s3 players rather than the other casts. 

Cabby: Honestly Taco would probably be a little jealous that Cabby won. Definitely impressed by her skillful observations of others, though! Taco is observant too, so they could discuss that if they are together, but I don’t think they’d actively seek each other out, like Taco and The Floor. Cabby is also more likely to return to Paradise since that is where her library was, and Taco’s history might make Cabby wary, since she struggled with being seen that way in season 3. I don’t think she’d hold it against Taco in a personal way, but it might dissuade her from really forming a bond with Taco. Overall, I love them both, they could be perfectly friendly with each other, but I don’t really see them forming a strong connection. Earlier season 3 Cabby, though? They could be the power duo of all time. Even post-canon a team up between them would be incredibly skilled and efficient, I just don’t see it as too likely to happen. 

Silver Spoon: We already know what Silver thinks of Taco! He thinks she is a Queen and an Icon and he’s right! He would approach Taco the easiest out of the invitationals, and would very much want her approval. I do not think Taco would like him very much. She’d get annoyed by him pretty easily, I think. They’re both British, so that could be a point of interest for him to try and connect for her, but seeing as neither of them are actually from Britain and were just programmed to have a British accent (and like tea!) that might fizzle out. And again the fact that Taco would not be able to stand him. Silver would try to get on her good side by complimenting her act in season 1, which would Not Sit Well with her at all. She would storm away from him and he would be devastated. It might be easier for them to interact if Candle is around to mediate, but I don’t know if they’d get along too well, at least initially. He remains in pleasant acquaintances because he is very pleasant towards her in his own Silver Spoony way, and considers her a friend, but it is one-sided, he is lying to himself <3. 

Bot: A split between Goo really liking Taco and Fan and Test Tube not being sure about her. She did shoot and kill Test Tube. And electrocuted Fan. In front of their first child. So yeah not sure their second child would be super keen on being friends with Taco, but they would still be amiable. As a part of the Cheer Factory, they’d join Goo in his cheering up quest, and they could strike up a conversation if they happened to be alone together, but this is another relationship I can’t see either party really seeking out. Their VA is British though, so Bot could probably do a fair impression of Taco. Not that Taco would like that, but y’know, it’s neat, yeah?

Blueberry: He doesn’t make many friends in general, and neither does Taco for that matter. I think combined they could be an absolutely killer duo, could dominate a competition together, but outside of that? I’d say more of a mutual sense of respect for being powerful shorties, but not much of an actual bond. He might be a welcome presence if Taco needs to stew in her negative emotions for a while, as one does, but if she wants to feel better she’d need to go to someone else. Honestly, they might be kept apart on purpose, because those little schemers could probably take over the island together if they really wanted to. But, Taco is trying to change and Mic certainly wouldn’t approve, so she wouldn’t want to. Jury’s still out on Blueberry though. Also, he’s another one I’d see returning to Paradise, less people there, yeah? So their interactions would be limited either way. 

Lifering: Nice, friendly guy! He might interact with Taco through Tea Kettle, or through general check-ups. With his medical training, or rather the knowledge he was programmed with, he’d definitely interact with everyone on both islands at one point or another. I wouldn’t imagine Taco being a big fan of such medical check-ups though, with how private of a person she generally is, and that might play into how she views him. He’d definitely do his best not to frighten anyone including Taco, and she would appreciate his work, she just wouldn’t be able to shake the lingering unease surrounding him, and he’d be able to respect that and give her space as long as she needs it. If he found her crying, he’d give her a squeeze and then get someone better equipped to help her, that sort of thing. She might eventually get more comfortable with him, and maybe they could share a plate of hors d'oeuvres, even if I don’t see them forming a super deep connection :) I think they could get along after some time. 

Tissues: I think they could have a sort of understanding in Mephone making things difficult for them. He was made to always be sick (fucked up) and she was made to manipulate and hurt people (fucked up). She might get annoyed with him, definitely, but she’d try not to. With the infinite tea generation I headcanon her having, she could pull out a nice warm cup from her shell and give it to him to soothe his sinuses and sore throat, and I think he’d really appreciate that. There’s also an advantage to the fact that they’re only meeting after the big reveal of all the contestants being made by Mephone and running the red line game, Taco’s never been annoyed, hateful, or mocking towards him about his sickness. Tissues is owed a lot of apologies from quite a few cast members, and Taco is actually not one of them! They can also both pull things out of their heads, which I think is cute. That wouldn’t really contribute to a relationship. I just like little guys who can pull things out of their heads!!!^^

Clover: Like Lightbulb, I think Clover would consider Taco a friend! She’d consider pretty much everyone a friend, the sweetheart she is. As Brian once posted, she would find Taco very funny! Taco is trying to change though, so wouldn’t want to be seeing Clover as useful. She might be interested in the luck stuff, but the happy-go-lucky attitude might be a bit much for Taco. Trying to plan for Clover’s luck would be insanely frustrating, since schemes aren’t the only thing Taco could plan(!), and that might turn Taco away from Clover. She’s yet another one I see returning to Paradise, so they wouldn’t interact much, which is probably for the better on Taco’s end. Taco would probably like the butterflies though, because who doesn’t like butterflies, yeah?

Tier 4: Neutral

Bomb: Didn’t really interact with Taco in the first season, despite having been in an alliance with her for a short time, but he is clearly good friends with Pickle, so he wouldn’t be reaching out to her any time soon. Not that I think Pickle would be explicitly telling anyone or even hinting to them not to be friends with Taco even if he himself doesn’t want to, he’s not that kind of guy, but I think Bomb would stick close to Pickle, which means not interacting with Taco much. Yeah, he wasn’t personally hurt by her betrayal or anything, but he mostly knows her as the person who hurt his bestie Pickle, so not exactly keen on her either. Taco would be pretty neutral on him right back, but would be glad that Pickle has made new friends and is being well taken-care of despite everything that went down between them. 

Knife: Hoo boy, okay, he is in the neutral category, but feel free to read him as “it’s complicated.” He’s also close with Pickle, seeing firsthand and likely the most of how Taco’s betrayal impacted him, and he was watching over Mic during and after her alliance with Taco, so he isn’t exactly happy with her. But as was confirmed by Brian, so you can’t argue with me on this one, he does care for her well-being. He sees some of himself in Taco. As much as he accuses Taco of projecting onto him in Truth or Flare, they’re really both projecting onto each other. Taco also cares about his well-being!!! (this is also confirmed by brian) Whether or not it’s because he’s someone close to Pickle and Mic, she does care, even if she doesn’t show it. Knife is dead now, too. That might complicate things. Taco though she would be dead forever, and hell, she might have been if Knife hadn’t put pressure on Mephone with Mepad, while Knife spent most of his life thinking of death as meaningless and something that barely even applied to him. One of them survived, and one of them didn’t. They’re such an interesting duo, I really really want to know more of the plan for that body swap episode so so so bad!! Anyone wanna venmo me 30 bucks to get another cameo from Justin so I can fish for info? /j Anyways. Knife would be very wary of her reconciling with Mic and would be watchful to make sure she doesn’t bother Pickle, but he would be proud, in a sense, seeing how she improves. I can’t say he’d help much, as I’m not sure if his tough-love sort of help for people would be super beneficial for Taco, and they’re still not super friendly, but I think they could have a moment of getting along-ness every once in a while. Suitcase might rub off on Knife even more with her never-give-up-on-anyone philosophy, which would lead him to back off on keeping an eye on her a bit more. If anything were to happen to Mic, she would be well protected by these two. AAAAAAAA. Taco and Knife are such an interesting duo, I can’t emphasize this enough. Knife who has already changed, and Taco is who is starting to change. This one has gotten way too long, in short, it’s complicated but more positive than negative post-finale. 

Paintbrush: As long as Taco isn’t mean to Lightbulb, I don’t think Painty would feel too strongly either way. Probably unhappy when they find out that Taco shot two of their friends but. They seemed pretty okay with Taco’s presence in act II of the movie, and weren’t incredibly harsh on Taco during the pre-act II stream (if I recall correctly, this one is a bit more blurry tbh) even if they weren’t very pro-Taco either. Didn’t have an extreme reaction to Lightbulb mentioning Taco when they showed up during Truth or Flare either, so that’s another point towards Painty being neutral towards Taco. Might even empathize with how quick-to-anger Taco can be, she could get invited to a painting lesson or something. But really, as long as Taco is civil with Lightbulb (and Baxter), and doesn’t murder Fan or Test Tube again, I think they can coexist without any malice or issues. 

Yin-Yang: Yang would like Taco a lot! Yin would be kind of scared of her. Thus, neutral. Yang would admire her sabotage and trickery, which isn’t exactly what she wants to be liked for, but, well, it’s Yang so he’s gonna do what he wants. Yin would be pretty wary of her, and probably avoid her in fear of whatever mischief she and Yang could create with their powers combined. My partner once drew a cute illustration of Yin-Yang stealing and eating a topping out of her head, which I liked very much, and were that to happen I think Taco would dislike Yin-Yang. It would be very rude to eat one of her toppings, especially without asking first. My partner, who I regard as the resident Yin-Yang expert between us, also mentioned them both having a “that-could-have-been-me” sort of connection with OJ, in the sense of how Taco was so close to getting the win that OJ got, and Yin-Yang was so close to getting eliminated instead of OJ. Had it not been for the immunity votes, Yin-Yang would have been the first Thinker out. Had it not been for Bow and all the other chaos that was going down during season 1’s finale, Taco would have been the first winner of Inanimate Insanity. And we know that Yin-Yang and OJ clashed during their residence in the Hotel, and Taco just dislikes OJ after everything, so maybe they could have a little anti-OJ club to get their frustrations out, who knows. Suitcase is still a bit miffed about him eliminating her unfairly that one time, so maybe she could join a little complain-about-OJ session once in a while. 

Box: New to the group, so probably doesn’t even find out about Taco’s past for some time, but at the same time she isn’t the most social tool on the shed. And neither is Taco. So I can’t see either one reaching out to the other for a friendship. Box might like that Taco never pretended their corpse was alive, even if it was possibly because she never had the opportunity to interact with Box in general. I might see Taco taking more of the Trophy stance in that she doesn’t see Box’s corpse as alive, which, since it was a corpse, is objectively correct. Albeit with less violence than Trophy handled Box with. They might talk due to both of them being around Suitcase from time to time, but I’d more view them as two relatively introverted people who simply don’t seek a connection with each other. [Also, putting a Box conspiracy here, but does anyone else think her inclusion specifically is why season 2 had an uneven amount of contestants in-canon. Like, the season 2 cast would have been developed before the whole MeLife twist, but on a non-meta level, it was probably Box being included in the cast that made the numbers wonky. 19 contestants? A prime number? What? 18 would make sense, or 20, but 19? Because Box was added in with the actual living contestants, because Mephone couldn’t bring himself to exclude her, which brought the number of players up to 19. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.]

Cherries: Probably a bit childish for Taco’s taste in friends. And for Cherries, them always wanting a reaction… Well if Taco was pranked, she would not react well, and they might be hard pressed to get her to laugh especially if she already dislikes them due to being pranked. She is quite the actor, so even if she does find a joke or two funny, she’s not gonna break. And then Cherries would get bored of trying to make her laugh, and move on to someone they can get a better reaction from. Unless they try roping Taco into their little schemes before they prank her, then I can see a more positive relationship forming. Either way, I don’t see them as consistently seeking each other out for companionship. 

Fan: Taco electrocuted him that one time. So, not exactly a great start. Especially since it was while he was talking to the Shimmers. The Shimmers, one of which was his infant child… A really bad start, then. I don’t see Fan as a very hateful guy, honestly. Passionate, sure, but doesn’t strike me as the type to stay angry for very long. He wouldn’t be approaching Taco for friendship any time soon, and would probably tell Bot that they should be wary around her, but I also think he would respect Taco’s effort to change and let bygones be bygones in the end. Taco probably wouldn’t approach him either, other than apologizing for electrocuting him and shooting Test Tube (she should apologize for that, and Mic would make sure she does). Would probably want to know more about Taco’s strategy and experiences during the first season, but also has the self-restraint not to ask. 

Test Tube: Less forgiving than Fan, but would follow his lead in not holding a huge grudge towards her. She wouldn’t trust Taco at all, but she wouldn’t fall into malicious territory like what ended up happening with Cabby. Taco would be wary of Test Tube too, especially after the other apology she gives Test Tube, for breaking into her “secret” lab and stealing things. Testy might actually take that one worse than the apology for murdering her. Despite that, I do see Test Tube letting Taco keep the white invisibow that Mepad was wearing when he was killed. This would probably happen before Taco confesses to murder, assault, breaking and entering, and theft anyways, but I see Test Tube letting her keep it. Random act of kindness while Taco is mourning him, yeah? She is the one who gave him the bow after all. Testy wouldn’t love Taco, and would also warn Bot to be careful around her and come to her right away if she has any problems, but could coexist with Taco. 

Tier 5: No

Mephone: Yeah, this is an obvious one. Beyond the fact that he’s left to give the contestants space, at least for the time being, Taco would be pretty damn mad at him after everything. Whether he made them subconsciously or not, he made her to be manipulative and unpredictable and to betray the people she cares about. Thinking further on that, he also didn’t plan anything good for her, unlike other villainous characters. Balloon and Knife both got redemption arcs, Silver got a girlboss, but Taco? She got another “ally” to inevitably lose, years of homelessness and isolation, and not even a million squats. Not to mention his reaction to her during Truth or Flare. Sure, it is reasonable for him not to want to see her, especially with how she acts in the episode, but not wanting to recover her? That’s really fucked up. Seriously. Thank god for Mepad. I can and would very much argue that Taco is the most mistreated contestant by Mephone4. She would not want to see him ever again, and I think if she did see him and he tried to talk with her it would not go well. So, this one is a definite no. 

OJ: She and OJ did interact relatively frequently in season 1, and while I’m not sure exactly how betrayed he would have felt by her revealing her true nature, he would not like having been fooled and would very much have not liked her trying to steal his prize. I can’t see them ever really getting along again. Even if Taco does apologize to him (and out of everyone she probably should apologize to, she would hate this one the most), I don’t see that doing much. OJ is another person that saw how her betrayal affected Pickle pretty closely, and he’d still hold at least a little grudge over that. Although, if you take the “built to win” line seriously like I do, (and Brian said in the 700k stream that it was up to interpretation- hah! Vindication! Kind of! Enough for me!!!) their dynamic can be a lot more interesting. And even though I don’t see them ever being friends again, I do see them at some point having a moment in which they both say something like “these guys are all so weird” and then looking at each other awkwardly and proceeding to ignore each other entirely for the next week or so. They’re both drama queens, yeah, but in comparison to some of the other characters they can be a bit more… reasonable? Doesn’t seem like quite the right word. Grounded? Doesn’t seem right either. Hopefully this is still comprehensible, but regardless, these two would not be friends.

Paper: My guy screeched in terror when she was seen in the hotel. I don’t think it’s gonna happen, especially if OJ isn’t befriending her in any way. He wouldn’t be happy about her trying to steal his boyfriend’s prize and is another who got to see Pickle growing depressed after her betrayal, so he’d keep his negative view on her. I don’t think he’d be as scared of her post-canon, especially seeing her trying to avoid violence by Mic’s demand, so I suppose that’s something. I am so very sorry, menu squad fans, I love them too, but I think that ship has long since sailed. I honestly don’t have very much to say for Paper, I feel like he’s a pretty obvious one, though they don’t actually interact that much. He doesn’t like her, and has a boyfriend who really doesn’t like her, so they’re not going to be connecting any time soon. I do think he would feel more sympathetic to her plights than OJ, as the more emotionally intelligent one between them, but would leave helping her to people closer to her. 

Salt: Taco would find her annoying, mostly. Especially after she and Pepper become friends, and Pepper vents about some of her frustrations with Salt to Taco, Taco wouldn’t be a fan of hers. Salt wouldn’t like Taco because she tried to steal OJ’s prize, and Salt is all gross and very weird about OJ. There’s a reason why she got the least votes in the latest plushie poll. Even Taco, who doesn’t really like Paper or OJ, would want Salt to back off and tell her to do so even if she had to be a tad aggressive about it. It shouldn’t always have to fall on poor Pepper especially when she starts branching out towards new people and relationships. Taco wouldn't be payjay's biggest fan or anything, but she wouldn't be upset over them or anything. Taco herself is gay. WLW and MLM solidarity!!!!

Trophy: She would beat him in a bunch of stuff (some by cheating, some fairly) and he would hate her like the sore loser of all time he is. She would probably just find him annoying, like a less-tolerable version of Blueberry, maybe. I can see them both getting banned from game night, Trophy because he can’t take a loss and Taco for cheating, of course, and attempting to hang out together in protest. I suppose they could bond that way, but I’d lean more towards them either arguing or getting annoyed with each other and agreeing to never hang out again. Might casually flip each other off in the hallways, not from hatred but from mutual acknowledgment that the other is kind of an asshole sometimes. I think it’s beautiful <3. 

Dough: She’d only have to see him when she’s in the mansion, which is definitely for the best. They wouldn’t seek each other out, ever. Taco would find him very annoying, and would hate any and all of his Bow imitating or discussion. She never met him, she does not care about him, and he’d probably feel the same way about her. Not much to say about this one, but I. Well. It’s Dough. I’m so sorry Dough fans but I have never had much to say about him. 

Cheesy: Yeah Taco would find him annoying too. He and Mic are on better terms now, so they might sometimes find themselves in the same place, but Taco might soon have to leave that place because she is getting so annoyed with him. He probably wouldn’t dislike her or anything, but he wouldn’t really like her either, seeing as she wouldn’t be the best audience member for him. Poor guy is gonna have to find some new material again, seeing as none of them have mamas and bringing that up is definitely in poor taste at the moment. Yikers. But yeah, another one who will not be friends with Taco because they would be too much for her. 

Bow: Taco’s least favorite person! Bow is the reason that Taco lost season 1, and I don’t think Taco is ever going to get over that. (Especially if you interpret the “built to win” line literally like I do~~~). Taco would avoid her like the plague, and probably regard her as a plague on the world too. Would very much not enjoy having to live in the same building as Bow, for however long it takes until they have another building established, since Taco would probably move out the second she could as long as Mic was down to move with her. Anything to get away from Bow. I can not emphasize enough how much Taco hates Bow. Despises her. Would rather stick her arms into a pothole full of piranhas than be in Bow’s presence. That plastic pink headgear is the absolute worst object on the planet to her. Bow doesn’t really care either way. Unless Taco is openly aggressive to her, she’s neutral. But Taco would probably antagonize her at one point or another, so Bow would probably end up disliking her too, just not as passionately.

Tier 6: Pickle

Pickle: Sigh. My fellow Taco lovers. It’s not gonna happen, guys. Pickle and Taco friendship is not going to happen ever again. I KNOW. Taco wants it!! You want it!! I want it too!!! I have been a fan since season 1 was airing, I of all people would love to see them be friends again. But Pickle doesn’t want that, so I’m going to respect it. Taco would probably try apologizing to him once or twice more before backing off, probably being able to do so and really start to move on with the help of Mic, Nickel, and/or Marsh. She does shake her head and move past things during the red line game! It’s a good start! Even if I think she would give it another shot (because in apologizing more she comes to realize how bad her first apology was. Yeesh. Girl I’m your biggest supporter, I am a certified Taco apologist, but damn). But! Regardless of the fact that they’re not going to be friends again, it’s not as though they’re going to be enemies! Taco wants to be better, especially towards Pickle. And as for Pickle, he just isn’t that sort of guy, yeah? He doesn’t want to be friends with Taco or give her another chance, which is fully fair and valid, but it’s not as though he wants her to suffer either!! If she like, fell and broke her leg or smth, he would willingly carry her to get help, yeah? If they both happen to be in the kitchen and she’s struggling to reach something on the top shelf, he’d grab it for her. He’s chill and especially after a longer period of time when he’s been able to heal further and be okay with seeing her around, they could just be… okay. Not friends, but okay. He would show up to the Tacomic wedding. 

Tier 7: PLEASE COME BACK I MISS YOU SO MUCH

Mepad: PLEASE COME BACK KING I CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU SUPPORTIVE ICON. HE IS IN TIER 7 BECAUSE HE IS DEAD AND THAT MAKES ME SO VERY SAD. I MISS YOU SO MUCH MEPAD MY BELOVED MEPAD. I MISS THE OLD SEASON 2 UPLOAD SCHEDULE I CAN’T HANDLE TACOPAD GETTING GIVEN TO US AND TAKEN AWAY WITHIN LIKE 4 MONTHS. GIVE US 4 YEARS AS GOD INTENDED /J. ANYWAYS MEPAD WOULD BE ON THE TIPPY TOP TIER IF HE WAS STILL ALIVE MY WONDERFUL MEPAD YOU WILL BE FOREVER IN MY HEART. ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOUR PLUSHIE I WILL MAKE YOU AND MY TACO PLUSH HUG IT IS MANDATORY. 

Okay, 13 pages later and that’s everyone! If you’ve read every entry, wow!!! Thanks!!! That’s a lot of reading and a lot of rambles you saw!!! If you skipped to your favorites, that’s also fair!!! Thanks for reading either way!!!^^ I have so very many thoughts about Taco, so it’s nice to get some written out!! :3

[lemotmo]

Thoughts on 911 8x17...

Disclaimer: I am operating on 2 hours of sleep, because I watched 911 live and it airs at 2 am where I am. So please, do forgive any incoherency or inconsistency.

Okay, where to begin?

First things first: This truly felt like an episode of the 911 TV show I fell in love with all those years ago. It was THAT good. It NEEDED to be THAT good as well. The last two episodes were bad and we needed a winner. We got it. YAY!

There are so many things to talk about here.

One of the first things I noticed was that this episode was made up of family and found family.

We had 4 clear distinctive family groups:

1. Athena and the kids, with some Karen & Athena and Hen & Athena thrown into the mix.

2. Hen, Karen and the kids with (again) some Karen & Athena and Hen & Athena thrown into the mix.

3. Maddie, Chimney and the kids (no Jee, but their unborn child was there) with some Hen & Chimney thrown into the mix.

4. Buck, Eddie, Christopher and aunt Pepa with some Hen & Eddie and Karen & Eddie thrown into the mix.

(The rest of the post is under a cut, so I don't clog anyone's dash)

All of them were struggling with Bobby’s death in their own way. I’ll talk about all of them briefly, but I’ll dive deeper into the last one, since it’s about the Buckley-Diaz family and I love them:

1. Athena was trying to stay strong and she mostly succeeded, but she couldn’t hide her irrational anger at Chimney.

To be fair, I completely understand where she is coming from. It has to hurt to see Chimney running around, doing perfectly fine, when she lost her husband because he wanted to save his friend.

It isn’t fair to Chimney, but it’s understandable why she reacts that way.

I love how we saw her with Hen and Karen and how great their friendship is.

I love Athena when she has to respond to silly calls like the laundry call. Angela shines in scenes like that.

2. Hen is struggling with the whole captaincy thing. Part of her wants it, but another part doesn’t. I know she called the Chief that she doesn’t want the job, but I wonder if she won’t call him back to tell him she has changed her mind in 8x18?

Because if it isn’t Hen, then who?

Unless they find someone from outside of the 118 or Bobby comes back somehow? (Which I still believe is a big possibility.)

I don’t know…

I still think it might be Hen in the end. Even if Bobby does come back. He won’t want to be Captain anymore.

3. Poor Chimney. He didn’t ask Bobby to save him, but he feels guilty anyway. That has to hurt.

To be honest though, I think Bobby would have saved him even if he had been single with no kids. Bobby is just THAT kind of guy.

I love how we got to see Maddie supporting Chimney in this episode. This was something 8x16 lacked completely.

4. Ah. Wow. This episode really brought home once again just how magical and real the chemistry is between Buck and Eddie. Nothing feels forced which it did with other pairings this show has thrust upon us in the past.

Let’s break down the Buckley-Diaz family scenes chronologically:

A. The episode opening with Buck’s flashback. The way the lighting changed as soon as we flashed to the now. It went from warm and cozy to cold and sterile.

It’s interesting how this flashback was mainly focused on three people: Buck, Bobby and Eddie. Buck of course because he was the one daydreaming. Bobby for obvious reasons and Eddie because he hadn’t been in the fire station for a while, even when Bobby was still alive. They got most focus, which means that Buck isn’t just struggling with Bobby’s death, but also with Eddie’s imminent departure back to El Paso.

It also seems that a lot of the scenes in the fire station were cut. There was no talk with Gerrard… thank god. There was no grocery shopping and lots of take out in the fridge scene. It was definitely the right choice to cut those scenes.

B. Next up was the Hen, Karen and Eddie scene. This was very interesting. We opened on them talking about Buck. The way Eddie talks about Buck and how worried he is, has Karen asking the right questions here. He briefly touches on how he hadn’t spoken to Bobby in two weeks and there’s a bit of that Eddie guilt peeking through. It’ll explode in that later scene with Buck.

I also liked how Hen tried to reassure him that he was building a whole new life in El Paso and that was okay. It was obvious that Eddie didn’t want that at all. Being back in LA, being back ‘home’ as Karen repeated. (Which… I love Karen so much. She is soooo perceptive.)

LA is Eddie’s home, yes. But the way he talks about Buck all the time? This scene definitely implied that Eddie’s home isn’t just the city, the people and the 118. It’s specifically Buck.

C. The Buck confession scene was something all right. I was so surprised that it was Buck in that confessional though and not Eddie. But I guess it does make sense since Buck is trying to find Bobby in everything he does.

I love how he had his phone at the ready, because he had no idea what to say. Typically Buck! The way he felt so much like the Buck we know from previous seasons was so refreshing. He is struggling, but he is still very much the Buck we all fell in love with.

His ‘talk’ with Bobby was so beautiful. It felt so honest and raw. Oliver’s acting was on point here.

The way he is trying to honour Bobby’s last wish, trying to take care of everyone. And then Bobby’s sign! It’s such a Buck thing to believe that Bobby sent him the earthquake sign.

D. I love how Buck recognised the ‘dentist’ lady from that previous episode where she was blue. He has such a good memory.

E. Then we get to THAT Buddie scene. First of all, they are living the domestic dream together. Making arrangements on who is doing what, like going out for groceries. Love that!

The way Buck is obviously upset over Eddie going back to El Paso and the job offer. He is trying hard to be supportive, but by the tone of his voice we all know (Eddie included) that Buck isn’t all that happy about it.

The way they got into this argument, because Eddie didn’t tell Buck about the job offer and Buck found out through Ravi. It’s poetic. Eddie’s guilty little face and his ‘I was going to tell you.’ was sooooo husbands coded.

I love Eddie lashing out at Buck and using the same words from their previous fights: “You make it all about you.” It’s some kind of a defence mechanism, so he doesn’t have to deal with his own emotions. So he focuses on others and tries to hurt them, so he can forget about his own hurt for a while. It’s a classic avoidance technic. We’ve all been there.

It’s something that Eddie has done before with Buck, so no matter what happens on 911, we can always count on Buddie continuity.

Eddie knows that Buck has been spiralling, but he didn’t know how to break through. He’s upset, so he lashes out. It’s a human thing to do. So I better not see any people talking trash about Eddie and how he is evil and abusive for hurting Buck.

I already saw a few of those bad takes on Twitter. Mainly from the BT people though. Most of them want Eddie to stay as far away from Buck as possible, for obvious reasons. With Eddie there, T doesn’t stand a chance. So it’s mainly about that. But still… such a terrible take.

Have any of you ever been in a fight with someone you love before? This is the way it goes! You lash out to hurt the other person, because you are hurting as well. Eddie has no malicious intent here. He is just frustrated with himself. He doesn’t want to go back to El Paso, he wants to be in LA. He doesn’t really want the El Paso job either. He worries that Buck will spiral out of control when he’s gone. So what does he do? In true Eddie style, he lashes out.

What follows then is an absolute masterclass of acting by Ryan Guzman. Oh my fucking god! That man can ACT! He is so good! I’ve always known he was good, because we have seen flashes of brilliance like this before, but this one took the cake. He is waaaaay up there as one of the best actors on 911. Not even kidding about this. He is sooooo good. 😌😌😌

That hidden anger and guilt and the way he grabbed Buck, his face filled with despair and rage and… so many emotions all at the same time? The tears, the bending over the table, the hand gestures and him unable to look at Buck for too long… it was brilliant.

It was helped along with the wonderful writing, direction and cinematography of the scene. Oliver and Ryan both went with it and their natural chemistry shone. It was such a great parallel to the BT scene in 8x11, in the same kitchen. The way Tommy seems to avoid the confrontation by running away every single time things get real and how Eddie stands his ground, unwilling to leave and giving back to Buck as good as he can. It was poetic cinema. And in the same exact spot in the kitchen as well.

The flashback to Eddie getting that phone call broke me in a thousand tiny pieces. The way he broke down crying and how he explained the terror of having to tell your child another loved one died. Trust me… I’ve been there. Telling your kid that someone they loved died? It is even worse than having to deal with the grief yourself. You worry and fester on how you’ll tell them and how they’ll take the news. You just want to protect them from harm and you realise you can’t. It’s a terrible feeling. I felt for Eddie in that scene.

The way Ryan just broke down in tears and his ‘He saved my life’… man, so good.

And Buck just standing there, realising that Eddie was hurting as well, but he hadn’t shown it because that is what Eddie does. Oliver’s acting here was also on point. His facial expressions when Eddie broke down were so good.

And of course his ‘If I was there, could I have made a difference?’ triggered Buck’s guilt again.

Oh these beautiful idiots. They are made for each other.

But what a great scene. I understand why Kat (journalist) said that this was her all time favourite scene in the entire series of 911. It is mine now too. Ryan Guzman, the actor that you are…

F. The morning after, when Buck walked into the living room, only to find the room empty, blankets folded with a little note on top? That was so Eddie and Shannon coded. The difference is that Eddie came back. He had always intended to come back to Buck while Shannon didn’t come back to Eddie and Chris.

Buck’s ‘jerk’! EEEE! It was sooooo good! I love how they decided to add that scene. It was perfect! It fit so well in their narrative.

Side note: how did Eddie even fit on that couch to sleep on it? It looks so much smaller than the previous couch and he is a big guy.

G. The way Buck saved that woman from her bathroom? The way he seems most at ease and happy in those kinds of situations? This makes me feel pretty sure they won’t go for Captain Buck anytime soon. The man loves those dangerous calls waaaay too much. As a Captain he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore.

H. Buck arriving home and Eddie just standing there WAITING for him!!! AAAAH! That was such a great scene. A clear call back to the ‘detour on sunset’ scene.

Again… this scene is so husbands coded. The way Eddie clearly realised that he had been an asshole to Buck the day before and when he woke up that morning he knew he had to make it up to him. So what did he do? He made sure that Buck’s favourite kid ever came back to LA!

Once again the parallel to Tommy walking out and never coming back, while Eddie -even if he does walk out- always comes back to Buck. Just… perfection.

That Buck & Chris reunion made me cry so hard! And Eddie looking on so fondly! I mean… that is a man in love you guys. I think that, on some level, he already knows it. It’s all there on his face.

Chris and Buck man! Pfffff… they look so alike when they are next to each other. It’s uncanny! The show knows this and they are using this to show us just how much this family belongs together.

Aunt Pepa!!! Complimenting Buck for his cooking in THAT kitchen, heavily implying it’s still the DIAZ KITCHEN and Buck has a spot there! Evancito!!!! Carinõ!!!! WHAT IN THE FANFIC HELL IS GOING ON IN THAT SCENE???!!!!!

And Chris looking at Eddie in the end, him looking back with that smile? This just screams domesticity and love. Eddie and Chris love Buck so much.

The way we see Buck smiling and obviously feeling so much better. Eddie knows that Buck needed to get outside of his own headspace and gain some perspective, away from his Bobby spiralling. It worked so well.

Especially that aunt Pepa talk did wonders for him. The way Buck was staring at Eddie and Chris and Pepa automatically using ‘our Eddie’ in their conversation, including Buck into their family? Perfect!

Aunt Pepa talked to Buck the way his mom should have talked to him. Telling him he should face his grief head on and own it. They are a family your honour!

Some miscellaneous stuff:

I still don’t really like the way this show redeemed Gerrard, but I do like him in this episode. He has finally understood that it’s important to respect the firefighters under his command. Bobby’s influence in action, no doubt about it. His proud look when the 118 figured out a way to bring the water to that burning building was interesting.

Spiritually? Bobby was everywhere in this episode.

That last scene with the building exploding and that piece of rock falling onto Athena’s police cruiser. That was so well done!

In conclusion:

This was such a good episode that harkened back to the 911 we all fell in love with. Even the calls and emergencies just felt right. The dentist call, the laundry call from Athena? They were all so good and wholesome! Call backs to previous people they saved as well!

It was just a really good episode. And I know that IMDB ratings don’t really mean anything, but I still love how we went from the 3.2 for the last episode to the 8.9 for this episode. Good times!

As for that trailer for 8x18?

Chimney and Athena stuck together? That will be soooo interesting to watch unfold. Sparks will fly! They can’t avoid each other now. They’ll have to work together to get out of there.

As for Buck and Ravi stuck as well? With the bts of Eddie in his white henley? Yeah, Eddie will get that phone call, realise that he is not losing anymore family (especially not his partner) and he will walk right into the fire station, ready to assist.

I’m expecting something big Buddie-related. Maybe Eddie’s realisation that his home is LA and especially Buck. Or maybe Buck realising that Tommy was right about him being in love with Eddie.

Or hell, maybe both at the same time!? What do I know!?! 🤷‍♀️

And Hen will be there coordinating and finding a way to get them all out safely. I really think she might just realise that she’ll want the job of Captain anyway.

Who knows? All I know is that we’ll have lots to talk about during hiatus!

I’ll be sat though. I’m so excited!!!

[cakesunflower]

lovelorn (and nobody knows) [rafe cameron au fic] chapter 9

Summary: Isla Carrera had planned for the summer before college to be focused on three things: helping out at her family’s restaurant (the helpful daughter), preparing for college (the good student), and having fun with the Pogues (the loyal friend). But one fateful night, where her car breaks down and her rescuer is none other than Rafe Cameron, seems to send her summer down a path she didn’t see coming–one teeming with a secret, illicit romance with the last person she expected. And if her friends and sister found out, Isla isn’t sure they’ll be so understanding, no matter what her feelings are.

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1��| Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

A/N: Happy reading!!!!!

Isla touches up her lipstick under the bright lights of the bathroom, which smells like apples thanks to whatever air freshener is plugged in here. When she drops the lipstick in her purse, Isla sighs at her reflection, the frustration evident in her green eyes. She knows it’s only been a little over an hour since she and her family arrived at Midsummers, but it was an hour spent unable to get to Rafe, and the thought has her blowing a slow breath out of her nose.

Relax. You’re becoming desperate. When has she ever chased after a guy? It’s not in her nature, really, and she’s not sure why it’s becoming so prominent about Rafe Cameron, of all people. She tells herself that it’s guilt that’s driving her, feeling badly for assuming he was the one who had punched JJ because of how offended and hurt he had looked when it came up. Truthfully, Isla hadn’t expected Rafe to be hurt by it, not the way she had seen it reflected in his eyes, and she guesses maybe that’s why she’s so adamant on talking to him and properly apologizing to him.

And especially after that date. . . The way he set it up for them, cooking their meal—it was the sweetest thing any guy has ever done for her to show her their interest. Anyone she has been with before, whether it was a relationship or whatever, never put that kind of effort for her. And that. . . It meant a lot to her. Not to mention the fact that she really did have a good fucking time and, frankly, wished that he had kissed her. Or she should have kissed him.

They should have fucking kissed.

Isla blows out a breath, knowing she can’t change the past as she gives herself one last look over before walking to the door. She begins her walk down the hallway back to where the party is, hearing chatter and music in the distance, only to come to a sudden halt to avoid running into someone who turns the corner from a connecting hallway.

“Isla?” She freezes upon hearing her name from the familiar voice, taking in a deep, quiet breath when her gaze lifts and her eyes lock with her ex-boyfriend.

Of all the people to run into. . . 

She hadn’t once thought of running into Carlo at Midsummers, but that was also because she forgot that a few months ago, his mom got remarried and his step-dad is from the Kook side of Outer Banks, and while Carlo hadn’t changed schools and still went to the public school Isla and her friends go to instead of switching over to the Kook academy, it shouldn’t be a surprise that he and his family would come tonight. She had been lucky enough not to spot him—until now, as he stares at her in mild surprise, like he hadn’t expected to run into her, either.

“I was just heading back,” she says, moving to brush past him.

“Wait—” She is forced to stop when he suddenly appears in front of her. “We never got a chance to talk at Sarah’s party.”

Her patience is already wearing thin. “That’s because I made it clear I don’t want to talk to you,” she tells him, trying to keep her voice steady. Goddammit, why can’t he take the hint? What is there for him to say? To apologize for cheating on her? Beg for her forgiveness? She doesn’t care—not anymore, at least. Her annoyance builds, and Isla narrows her eyes and says, “Let’s get one thing clear, Carlo. I don’t owe you shit, alright? You fucked up. You threw our relationship out the window. So I’m well within my rights to tell you to go to hell and never have to speak to you again, because you don’t deserve it.”

Carlo’s jaw tightens, the vein in his temple beginning to protrude with every word Isla hits him with. But she simply keeps glaring at him, undeterred and sick of him trying to have a conversation with her that he thinks will change her opinion of him. “You never even gave me a chance to explain myself—”

“Explain yourself?” Isla repeats, eyebrows rising in disbelief at his audacity. “I’m sorry, I don’t need a step by step walk-through of how your dick ended up in some Jersey girl. It’s been a year since we broke up, Carlo. Move on. I sure as hell have.”

She sees the muscle in his jaw work, indignation firing up in his eyes. But right when Isla thinks he’s going to argue back, spew some bullshit, he surprises her by dipping his chin briefly in a nod. “Fine,” he says tightly. “You win. Won’t bother you again.”

Isla arches an eyebrow as she watches him turn and go, mildly surprised at how easily he gave in. But she doesn’t have a chance to dwell on it, because a new voice from behind her speaks up. “Are you always this brutal to guys who have a thing for you?”

Heart jumping, Isla spins around to see Rafe leaning against the wall on his side, watching her with an almost blank expression. Unable to help herself, Isla’s gaze dips, taking in the sight of him now that he’s this close after days of not seeing him, admiring the pristine press of his suit, his bangs framing his temples, and the family ring he wears on his pinky that gleams under the hallway lights.

When her gaze lifts to meet his, he arches an eyebrow, and instead of being embarrassed that he noticed her blatantly checking him out, she’s just relieved to see him—to have him talk to her. “Only the ones who deserve it,” she replies, her voice growing soft on its own. There’s about five feet of space between them, and she’s desperate to diminish it. “Rafe, I—can we talk?”

“About what?” he asks, but there’s a shift in his gaze that tells Isla he knows exactly what she wants to talk about.

She takes a couple of steps towards him, all too aware of the party going on behind her and that any one of her friends or her sister could walk by at any point and spot them. But she doesn’t want to add fuel to this already sensitive situation as she tells him, “I want to apologize—”

“Not here,” he cuts her off.

Isla blinks and before she knows it, his hand is holding hers and Isla’s gaze instantly drops down to the way his larger hand engulfs hers, his touch warm as their palms press together, and the air hitches in her throat as he tugs her forward. She has enough sense to use her free hand to lift the skirt of her dress so she doesn’t trip as Rafe pulls her around her corner, her heart thundering and too quickly for her to comprehend, they’re suddenly in a small, dark room.

Isla’s gaze darts, just barely making out the shelves next to her and along the wall opposite of the door as she turns around when the sound of the door clicking shut breaks the silence. She squints when a light is switched on, bathing her and Rafe in dim yellow lighting. Her throat tightens when she notices how small the room is—feeling smaller still with Rafe towering over her. Even in the shitty lighting of the supply closet, he’s unfairly gorgeous, the kind that makes her heart skip a beat in one second and pick up its pace in the next. And in the small space, the scent of his cologne is more prominent; fresh and woodsy and delicious.

When her gaze meets his, he arches an eyebrow and tells her, “Wouldn’t want your friends to spot us.”

He says it dryly, and it tightens something in her chest—even as she notes the way his gaze seems to trace the length of her, her skin prickling with awareness. His words have her blurting, “Rafe, I’m so—”

“I overreacted,” he cuts in, effectively surprising her as she gapes up at him. She most definitely hadn’t expected that. When he takes note of her surprised expression, one corner of his lips tilts up in a small, knowing smile. “I was thinking about it and I can’t exactly blame you for thinking I gave Maybank the black eye.”

“I was unfair,” she says with a frown, unsure how this conversation turned around. “I shouldn’t have just assumed that it was you.”

“I can’t exactly blame you for it,” he says, that half smile still visible as he rubs his bottom lip with a thumb. “Not with the history I have with your friends. I can’t expect you to forget all of that after just one date. It was unfair of me, too, to just shut you out these last couple of days.” His gaze meets hers and Isla’s throat locks at the genuine apology in his eyes, the kind that you can’t fake. “I’m sorry for not responding to your messages.”

Isla’s lips part, though no words come out as she stares at him in surprise. Part of her wonders if she’s imagining things, but she still can’t help the way her lips curve up into an incredulous, fond smile. Rafe’s gaze tracks the movement as he asks through a short chuckle, “What?”

She shakes her head, biting down on her smiling bottom lip. “I came here today fully intent on apologizing to you for not giving you the benefit of the doubt. And you just completely turn it around and apologize to me instead.”

His smile widens a bit, looking down at her with a lift of his chin. “Did I steal your thunder?”

Isla lets out a laugh. “A little bit,” she says with a nod. The air between them grows tense, in a way that makes her skin heat up as she realizes their proximity. But even so, her smile falters and she tells him, “I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Rafe’s smile fades a bit and for a second, Isla thinks he’s going to deny being hurt. But then again, Rafe is full of surprises, because he nods, gaze dropping to their feet as his lips twist to the side briefly. “I appreciate your apology.” His gaze lifts, blue eyes locking with her deep green, and the air seems to crackle. “You’re forgiven.”

Her shoulders sink in relief, not realizing how badly she wanted to hear those words until Rafe says them. The guy had given her one of the best dates she had ever been on, and she had turned around and insulted him, hurt his feelings, and Isla hated that she did that. If you asked her months ago if she would be up at night, tossing and turning over hurting Rafe Cameron’s feelings, she would have laughed in your face. But now, Isla feels an immense amount of relief knowing that he has forgiven her, and it’s a crazy development, but it’s not one she minds.

“Good,” she says quietly through a smile.

Her heart jumps when Rafe takes a step towards her, the already small space between them diminishing more as he does. “What about me?” he asks, voice low and enough to threaten goosebumps breaking across her skin. “Am I forgiven, too?”

She has to tilt her chin up to maintain eye contact as he gets closer, her pulse skittering in anticipation as the distance between them diminishes. The world beyond the door of the supply closet ceases to exist and all Isla can think of, can focus on, is the man before her, towering over her in his staggering height that she never before admired. She sees the way Rafe’s gaze dips from her eyes, lingering on her lips, and her stomach flips at the hungry look that darkens his eyes. She desperately wants him to act on that hunger.

“Yes,” she answers, her voice a whisper as if she’s divulging a secret only for him to know. Her own gaze flickers to his mouth, at lips that look so soft and make her wonder if they feel the same. Desire makes heat pool in her belly, her heart thudding faster and faster with every passing second. Through her dried throat, she speaks up, “If I tell you something, you promise not to hold it against me?”

Maybe he hears the vulnerability that slips into her tone, because Rafe’s gaze snaps up to meet her eyes once more. His chin dips into a single nod. “I promise.”

Her pulse quickens even more. For a split second, she hesitates in spilling her truth, knowing it’s going to leave her open and vulnerable in front of a person she never before wanted to be in such a state. But somewhere along the way, things changed so fast that Isla is left dizzy from it, but it’s a slow turning change she finds herself wanting to explore more of. It’s scary and new, but Isla wouldn’t be a Pogue if she shied away from trying scary and new things.

So conjuring up every ounce of her confidence, she looks him in the eye and confesses, “I missed you.”

Rafe’s eyes flare and she swears she hears him suck in a sharp breath, like her words were a punch in the gut. Her own cheeks warm as her statement hangs between them, feeling her heart pounding in her ears as she waits for him to say something. Anything. The tension in the small space is taut, ready to snap at any second, and she wonders if he can feel it so intently, too. Is she just imagining it? Can he, too, feel the sizzle of energy that exists between them?

“Isla.” His voice is rough, eyes darkening with a need that she feels deep in her bones. “Tell me I can kiss you.”

She nearly wants to cry in relief. “Please.”

It’s all the permission he needs, thankfully, and their collision is earth shattering.

Rafe’s arm winds around her waist and he tugs her close, erasing any remaining space between them as he leans down and captures her lips in a searing, breath-stealing kiss. Isla can’t stop the instant, gratifying moan that sounds from her throat at the first contact of his lips against hers, her hands coming up to grip the lapels of his suit jacket as she practically melts into him and the head spinning kiss.

Their fronts are pressed together and she swears she can feel every hard line of his torso against her as Rafe’s other hand grips her jaw, thumb on one side and his fingers on the other as he tilts her head just the way he likes it. Isla’s knees threaten to give out when his tongue teases her lips and she parts them for him immediately, wetness pooling in her underwear when he groans as his tongue languidly, teasingly slides along hers, tasting her as if he’s savoring every moment. Liquid heat pours through her blood as Rafe takes a few steps forward until Isla is being pressed against a shelf, the contents of it rattling yet neither of them paying any attention as he continues to rob her of her breath with his kiss.

One of her hands slides up to the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair, and the pace of the kiss doesn’t slow for a second as Rafe’s arm moves from around her waist—only for his hand to grip her thigh from the parting of the slit of her dress, his skin warm against her already heated one, and she gasps against him as he lifts her leg to hook it around his hip. It brings them even closer, if possible, and Isla whimpers when she feels his hardness press against her panty covered core, the fiery need for him intensifying even more.

Yes, yes, yes. This is better than she could have ever imagined, going beyond her wildest fantasies. Every movement of his lips against hers sparks electricity in her veins, bringing her closer and closer to the point of cataclysmic explosion. She has kissed plenty of people before but, God, never like this. This, she can feel deep in her soul, bringing every cell in her body to life. She thinks she can easily get addicted to this—to Rafe’s kisses. How can someone be so damn good at kissing?

Isla doesn’t want to stop, she never wants this to stop, but air becomes an annoying necessity. Their kiss slows down, but it seems that Rafe doesn’t want to end it, either, dragging it out as long as he can, tasting her lips with sweet, soft kisses that make her heart ache in the best way. They don’t pull apart, foreheads pressing together as they catch their breaths, the supply closet filled with the sounds of their labored breathing as they share the air between them.

Isla’s eyes slowly open, heavy with dizzying lust, eyelashes fluttering as she finally opens them—only to see that Rafe is already watching her with a hooded gaze of his own. Her heart leaps, noting his kiss swollen lips, which have pinkened also because of her lipstick. The sight of her lipstick smeared on his mouth intensifies the heat pooled low in her belly, watching him with a hunger no doubt he can see.

Fuck. He kissed her in a way that ruined anyone else for her. There’s no going back from this.

“That was. . .” She trails off, still trying to catch her breath, their noses brushing together.

His mouth curves up. “Better than I could’ve imagined,” he finishes, making her already flushed cheeks blush more as she lifts her gaze to meet his, a shy yet thrilled smile dancing on her own lips. Especially when she feels his fingers brushing along her thigh, her leg still wrapped around him, and the blush deepens as she slowly puts her foot back onto the ground.

A breathless laugh escapes her as says, “You’ve got lipstick on your face.”

Rafe grins. An honest, panty-dropping smile that makes her want to kiss him again. His hand on her jaw shifts and she feels his thumb swipe along her bottom lip. “So do you, baby.”

Oh, God. The term of endearment does more to her than she cares to admit, breath stilling in her lungs as her lips tingle not only from his kiss, but the gentle caress of his thumb. His voice is low, a dizzying rasp, and if he ever finds out the kind of effect he has on her, then Isla is in trouble.

Dropping her gaze, she opens her purse and pulls out a small tissue packet. When she takes out a tissue and holds it up to him, Rafe glances at it before meeting her gaze, smirking as he says, “Your mess. Only right for you to clean it up.”

She finds herself grinning at the teasing glint in his eyes, biting her bottom lip as she moves her hand further up and, gently, wipes at Rafe’s lips. His gaze is heavy on her as she does so, heart thudding wildly as she gets rid of her lipstick smeared on his smiling mouth. “Done,” she says once she’s finished, crushing the tissue in a ball in her hand.

“Thank you,” he hums before taking the tissue pack from her hand. “My turn.”

Her pulse stutters once more when he places a knuckle under chin to lift her face up, gazes locking as he, oh so gently, wipes at the skin right around her lips, as if he’s being careful not to displace the rest of her makeup. It’s the most tender anyone has ever been with her, even if it’s something as mundane as him fixing her smeared lipstick, and Isla is a hundred percent sure she falls for him a little bit more, right at this moment. Who knew Rafe Cameron could be so soft, so gentle? After kissing her senseless, nonetheless.

“What do you say to a second date?” he asks, head tilting slightly as he dabs at the corner of her mouth.

Isla finds herself smiling, stomach fluttering. “I’ll say yes if you promise to kiss me again.”

Rafe grins, lowering his hand. Her body craves to be wrapped up in him again as he lifts his chin and says, “That’s a promise I’ll always keep.”

He proves himself when he presses a slow kiss to her lips once more, and Isla melts into him once more, wishing that they could stay in here, just the two of them, instead of returning to the Midsummers party. Her heart flutters wildly, happily, as she returns the kiss before they break apart slowly. “Just let me know when,” she tells him.

“Hmm?” Rafe hums, his gaze on her lips, like he wants to kiss her again. She’d totally let him.

Isla laughs. “For the date.”

His eyes flicker up to meet hers. “Yes, ma’am.” He glances over his shoulder. “Let me make sure the coast is clear.”

“One sec,” she says, taking out her phone and lipstick. Using the camera, she checks her reflection for a moment and grins at Rafe. “Nice clean up job,” she says, making him chuckle as he watches her quickly reapply her lipstick. He really did wipe away any remnants from her skin, and with the lipstick newly applied, no one would ever know. “Okay, I’m ready.”

She watches as Rafe steps to the door, switching off the light and plunging them into darkness, only for some light to slip through the crack that appears when Rafe opens the door just an inch or so. He peeks out, his hand gesturing her forward, and she steps up. “Okay, you’re good to go.”

He opens the door wider and Isla’s heart thuds as she steps out into the empty, bright hallway. She can hear the music and the party continue on outside, glancing down at the last second to make sure her dress is straightened, which it is. Right when she’s about to make her way down the hallway, not wanting to linger in case someone comes by, Rafe’s voice stops her.

“Isla.” She glances at him where he remains inside, standing in the space between the door and the door frame. He grins that panty-dropping smile once more, his gaze dipping to take in the length of her and igniting a fire in her skin as it trails back up to meet her eyes. “You look beautiful.”

Her cheeks flush, glancing away momentarily to give herself a second to get her wits about her, before musing, “You’re only saying that ’cause you just made out with me.”

He chuckles. “Doesn’t make it any less true.” He winks and somehow makes even that seem hot, when Isla would otherwise find it cringey if it was anyone else. Rafe nods in the direction of the party. “Get back out there.”

Isla’s not quite ready to leave him, but she knows she has to because her friends and sister will start looking for her if she’s gone for too long. When she rejoins Kie and Sarah, her sister asks, “Where have you been?”

“Bathroom,” Isla answers. “Why, did I miss something?”

“No,” Sarah hums, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. 

“Other than watching people ask Mom and Dad about their anniversary party. I think Mom’s gonna break out in hives,” Kie adds in. Their parents’ twentieth wedding anniversary is coming up quick, and they’re planning a party which Kie and Isla will be helping out with, and while their mom loves to throw a good party, the whole planning part stresses her out. “But we saw Carlo and were worried if you ran into him.”

Isla scoffs, trying to ignore the way her lips are still tingling from Rafe’s kisses. “I did,” she says, making both of their gazes whip to her. Isla rolls her eyes. “It’s fine. I told him to fuck off, and that was the end of that.”

Sarah shakes her head, expression scrunching up in annoyance. “If men are gonna have one thing, it’s the fucking audacity.”

Kie nods as Isla chuckles. “Tell me about it,” she says, just as her skin prickles with awareness. Her gaze wanders until it lands on Rafe, back on the porch with his friends, and Isla bites the inside of her cheek as his gaze seems to find hers in that moment, too. They lock eyes on opposite sides of the party, and her belly flips as that dizzying kiss replays in her mind on a loop.

She has to look away before anyone notices, tuning back into the conversation with Kie and Sarah while trying not to think of Rafe. But it doesn’t help that he watches her from wherever he is throughout the party, a secret just between them in a crowd full of people, but theirs to keep. For now, at least.

[stylesloveclub]

sunshine (part 3)

In which y/n just wants to get this whole virginity thing out of the way, and Harry needs to grovel a bit before she forgives him.

warnings: nonconsensual advances/kissing when drunk!!!

˙· .° ｡  ˚ ｡  ° . · ˚ ˙ · . ° ｡ ˚ ｡  ° . · ˙ · .° ｡ ˚ ｡ °.  · ˙ ‧̍̊  

Y/n is drunk. 

She doesn’t know who’s apartment she’s in, or what the drink in her cup is. She also doesn’t know where Maddie is, or how she’s going to get home tonight. All she knows is that she’s sad and drunk, standing alone in some random kitchen while a party goes on on the other side of the door.

It had been Maddie’s idea to take y/n out partying tonight. She saw y/n’s tear stained cheeks as soon as she walked through the door, and had immediately coaxed her sad roommate into her arms. “What’s wrong?” she’d asked y/n, pulling back and staring into y/n’s teary eyes. “Why didn’t you call me to pick you up?”

Y/n didn’t want to talk about it. She was too embarrassed to admit what happened, cringing everytime she remembered the way her heart broke when Harry laughed at her. She just wanted to forget about it. 

Maddie’s solution was going out and drinking. Y/n hesitantly agreed, as her other option would have been to lay in bed and cry, and that just seemed really sad and pathetic.

Now that she’s here though, her bed sounds a lot better than this party.

She’d taken three shots with Maddie and had been feeling fine for the first 15 minutes she was there – but then Maddie had been whipped away by a group of her friends, and y/n was left alone. The shots started to get to her, making her wobbly on her feet, and her head started to hurt from the flashing lights and pounding music. 

This really wasn’t her scene, and it didn’t help that she was all alone. 

She stumbled over to the makeshift bar looking for a drink, preferably water. But apparently there was no water anywhere in this college apartment, so she’d been given some spiked lemonade instead by some shirtless frat guy who had appointed himself as this party’s bartender. 

This was a terrible idea.

She just needed somewhere quiet to be sad! She hates having to walk past all the groups of people crammed into this living room. It’s hot and stuffy here and she feels dizzy and her eyes are dry from how much she cried before she got here. Someone steps on her foot, which makes her stumble sideways, and then she bumps into some tall girl who glares at her meanly and it makes y/n feel horrible and miserable and stressed out. 

She spends 10 minutes looking for Maddie, and though she fails to find her roommate, she does find an empty, quiet kitchen. She huffs out a sigh of relief. 

Finally, some peace and quiet. 

With her watered down, kinda gross, alcoholic lemonade in hand, she hops onto the kitchen countertop and swings her legs sadly. As hard as she may try, she is not a party girl at heart. She always ends up wanting to leave, and she always ends up feeling kinda lonely. 

And (honestly) she does not enjoy being drunk that much. It makes her wobbly and extra emotional. And it also makes her tummy turn a little bit. And her head is starting to pound on top of the way it’s spinning. 

She closes her eyes and leans her head back against the cabinets. She would give anything to just be back in her room with her books.

Someone bursts into the kitchen, and it makes y/n open her eyes with a startled jump. She stares at the person awkwardly as they totally walk past her, completely unaware that y/n was even in the kitchen at all. 

The kitchen newcomer is someone that she vaguely recognizes as one of Maddie’s friends – Jared, maybe? – she briefly wonders if he might know where her roommate is. 

Jared walks to the pantry and rummages through, retrieving a bag of BBQ chips which he pops open and starts devouring. The way he crunches and munches on the chips makes y/n cringe, but she says nothing and just sips her drink quietly. She hopes she can just go unnoticed…

Jared opens the fridge and the refrigerator light fills the dark kitchen, illuminating y/n’s silhouette. Jared finally notices her. 

“Yo…” he says, eyeing her up and down. “Y/n, right?”

She nods awkwardly, sipping her drink again. She’s gonna drink herself to oblivion simply because of all these nervous sips. 

“What’s up!” he says enthusiastically, putting the bag of chips down and wiping his crumby hands on his pants. 

“Um, nothing much,” she squeaks out. “Do you– do you know where Maddie is?” 

“Oh yeah, I was just with her outside! We got the munchies so m’getting us some snacks.” Y/n nods. At least she knows where Maddie is now. “What’re you doing in here all alone?” Jared asks. 

“I’m— um. Just wanted some quiet time, I guess.” She chews on the inside of her mouth nervously. 

“I was surprised when Maddie said you were here today…” Jared takes a step forward, standing right in front of her knees, “we don’t get to see you enough. You’re always hiding when we come over.”

She chuckles nervously. Another sip from her drink, no matter how gross it tastes.

Jared reaches a hand out to rest on y/n’s thigh. Her eyes bulge out of her head, her drunk head a little too woozy to comprehend what’s going on. His hand feels sweaty and invasive, unlike Harry’s… who felt warm and soft. 

Ugh. Harry. Stupid Harry. She pushes him out of her mind.

“You should hang out with us more…” Jared continues, using his hand to spread her legs so that he can step between them. Y/n, loose limbed and sluggish from the drinks, just lets it happen. It’s weird and kind of uncomfortable… but she has yet to formulate a true reaction. “I think we’d vibe…”

I think we’d vibe? Is that boy code for something? She blinks at Jared with tired eyes. She really just wants to be in her bed right now. 

“Can I kiss you?” Jared asks. Huh??? The confusion on y/n’s face must be apparent, because he chuckles and bites his lip. He has this weird look in his eyes that y/n thinks is supposed to be sultry but just makes him look kind of dumb. “Come on… it’d be fun.”

“Umm…” y/n is so confused. She hadn’t realized that this is where her conversation with Jared had been going, but now she feels like it’s obvious. His hands on her legs and then I think we’d vibe. This was Jared… making a move?

Normally, y/n would be repulsed at the thought of it. This would be nothing more than a drunk hookup with someone she doesn’t know or trust. She’d never do that! She’d push him away, and walk straight out of the kitchen without a second thought, because Jared is gross and y/n has standards. 

But that was old, romantic y/n. Present y/n is different.

“Ok,” she says simply. How bad could it be? It’s not like she’s saving her first kiss for someone special anymore. And maybe this time, she won’t bring up the fact that she’s a virgin! She’ll just go all the way, get it over with, and then nobody will be able to laugh at her–

Jared’s hot, wet lips make contact with y/n’s mouth. He tastes like barbeque chips and beer. His tongue immediately forces its way past her lips, licking into her mouth, and his hands unceremoniously migrate from her legs to her ass. He’s not gentle as he starts groping her ass, and y/n’s eyebrows furrow together uncomfortably. 

She tries to reciprocate the kiss – it had been so easy when it was with Harry! – but Jared kisses like a fish, his mouth agape while he sucks on her lips uncomfortably. His lips feel hard and tense, unlike Harry’s gentle kiss and soft, pink, candy lips. He groans as if he’s turned on and grinds his dick against y/n’s center.

Y/n can’t take it anymore. She pulls her lips off of Jared, too grossed out to even pretend to be into this kiss. Her mouth feels like it was invaded, and she’s realizing that her drunk brain has made a terrible lapse in judgment.

There was no way she’d be able to hook up with this guy, let alone kiss him for any longer! She was insane for even considering losing her virginity to some random guy. That’s just not her. She’s not random or spontaneous… she’s nervous and insecure and needs to feel loved and cherished when her first time comes around. Not … used and gross, the way she’s feeling now. And definitely not when she’s too out of it to even walk straight. 

She massively is starting to regret kissing Jared, and uses her hands to push him off.

“Um… I don’t–” Jared starts kissing down her neck, and y/n shrugs away. His kisses feel like a slobbery pitbull drooling all over her throat. “Let’s stop,” she says.

Jared either doesn’t hear her or just ignores her, now dry humping y/n. It feels gross and prepubescent, little ruts of this guy's dick against her most intimate region. When Harry had done it, it had been welcome. It had been Harry! The cute guy who would come sit in her room when there’s a party going on and would help her with math! But this is so… gross. She barely even knows this guy, and he’s making her feel yucky and wrong and uncomfortable.

She hates this – all of it – and tries to close her legs, but Jared’s hips are still between her thighs so she can’t. Her stomach is rolling, the aftertaste of Jared’s barbeque flavored tongue sitting in her mouth, and she’s feeling overwhelmed. “Stop,” she mumbles again, her hands pushing harder on his shoulders. 

“Hm, why?” Jared whispers, coming back up to kiss the corner of her mouth. She can smell the alcohol on his gross, hot breath, and she turns her head to the side, dodging him. 

“I don’t– I’m not–” she stammers over her words. Her cheeks are turning hot and she’s squeezing her eyes shut to try and regain composure. Jared is licking her earlobe now, and it feels horrible. She pushes harder. 

Neither of them hear Harry entering the kitchen.

He’d been lingering around the apartment quietly, the way he usually does at parties. His friends had noticed that he’s in a particularly bad mood tonight for some reason – but Harry doesn’t say anything about it. He just sulked quietly among the groups of people. 

Maddie had stomped her way over to him at some point that night, and grilled him for why y/n had come over so upset that day. “Harry!” she huffed, “What’d you do? Did you make y/n cry?”

His frown deepened, “She was crying?” 

“Yes!” Maddie blows her hair out of her face. “She was all sad and mopey. I brought her here for a good time but she was still pouty after, like, three shots. I thought you were helping her with math, what happened?” 

“She’s here?” Harry turns alert. He sits up, his brows furrowed in his grumpy way, a hint of concern in his eyes. “Where?”

Maddie shrugs. “I dunno. I lost her like an hour ago.”

He was up and searching for her immediately. He checked the bathrooms and all the empty rooms, walked around the apartment with attentive eyes, checked within the huddles of people to see if y/n was hanging around them. 

His last hope was the kitchen – but even then, it didn’t seem like she was in there. Just a couple making out, something that he didn’t want to impose on. He was just about to leave, when he heard the smallest, familiar voice, squeaking out stop. He looks a little closer. 

His heart stops when he realizes it’s y/n. 

“What are you doing?” Harry quickly steps forward, tugging Jared off of y/n.

Y/n snaps her legs shut now that Jared has been removed from between her thighs, while Jared turns around to face Harry with his hands in the air. “What the fuck, man?” Jared spits out.

“She said stop,” Harry fumes, taking a protective step in front of y/n. 

“Bro, fuck off, it’s none of your business–” he tries to reach a hand towards y/n, but Harry blocks him. “Do you know this guy?” Jared asks y/n.

She gives a disgruntled nod. She’s half thankful to see him because he interrupted that awful kiss with Jared, but the other half is sad and embarrassed and filled with the insecurity she felt when she’d left Harry’s apartment. When he’d kissed her and then laughed at her. 

“Get out,” Harry grunts to Jared, nodding his head to the door. His eyes are dark and mean, and even in the low light of the kitchen, Jared can tell that Harry is not the guy to mess with. 

“Whatever,” Jared scoffs, leaving the kitchen.

Harry turns around. “Are you okay?” he asks softly.

Y/n ignores him, hopping off the kitchen counter. Her left foot, however, has fallen asleep and twists underneath her weight painfully when she lands on the ground. Harry reflexively wraps his hand around her waist so that she doesn’t fall, and pulls her into his chest. 

“Hey, hey–” she tries to regain her footing, but this time the drinks in her system make her wobble side to side. Harry’s grip on her tightens, “Stop.” 

“Let go,” she whines, wriggling in his hold, “I don’t want to talk to you.” 

He lets go when she asks, not wanting her to feel scared or uncomfortable since she looks so out of it, but stands in front of her firmly, eyebrows furrowed. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” she sniffles.

“Who’s taking you?” he asks again, taking a step to the side to block her when she tries to walk around him.

She’s silent for a second, trying to figure out her options. “I’ll walk,” she decides.

He lets out an exasperated breath. “Y’can’t walk home right now.” She’s way too out of it, and it’s probably over a 30 minute walk. “Let me drive you.” 

“No,” she pouts, trying to brush past him again. “I’m not talking to you.” 

“M’sorry,” he sighs, “M’sorry for making you upset, I-I didn’t mean to.” He’d been confused when she’d left him so abruptly (he’d still been catching his breath and calming his heart from that kiss when she ran off), and dismayed when he found out he’d made her cry. His eyes are earnest and pleading, “please let me drive you home.”

She wipes her eyes, a few sad tears hanging on her lashes that she refuses to let fall. “Fine.”

But only because it’s cold outside and her head hurts and she’s too scared to walk home at night.

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“Are you cold?”

Y/n ignores Harry, staring out of the passenger’s side window while they’re stopped at a red light. 

“Y/n?”

Still no response. He sighs frustratedly. She’s obviously cold, with goosebumps on her skin and shivering in her seat. He reaches to the back seat and grabs one of his sweaters that he’d worn to class earlier, throwing it in her lap. “You can’t just ignore me all night.”

Y/n swallows thickly, eyeing the sweater in her lap, but refuses to put it on no matter how cold she is. “I’m fine.”

Harry looks over to her. She’s clearly not fine. 

Her voice sounds strained and teary, and he can practically feel the lump in her throat. She’s on the verge of tears, sitting in his car with glossy eyes, chewing the inside of her lip, a habit he’s noticed she only does when she’s sad or anxious. 

“Tell me what I did wrong, please. Talk to me.”

The first tear falls from her lashes. She’d done so good, holding in her emotions all night, not crying even though she was drunk and miserable! 

But Harry sounds so earnest and desperate. She wants to trust him, wants to revel in the comfort she only feels in his presence. But she can’t stop replaying the way he laughed at her in her head. 

“Please,” he begs. 

Her resolved crumbles. “You– you laughed at me,” She takes a shuddery breath, trying not to start sobbing. “When I told you I was a virgin. You thought it was funny.” 

Realization dawns on him, “oh, sunshine…”

“But it’s not funny. It’s normal!,” she continues, “ Like, I-I just want it to mean a lot.. I need it to be with someone I like, someone I trust. I can’t do casual, I’m-I’m not like that.” She wipes her tears away furiously, “and you laughed at me when I told you that!” 

“I wasn’t laughing at you!” he says desperately, but she huffs and rolls her eyes. The tears are falling freely at this point and he’s dying to wipe them away. He’s annoyed that the light turns green, forcing himself to look at the road and keep his hands on the wheel when all he wants is to hold y/n’s hands. “I-I get it, I’m sorry, that was dickish of me to laugh, but I wasn’t laughing at you!”

“Yes you were,” she grumbles petulantly, “You literally laughed in my face.” 

“No,” They pull up to a stop sign and he glances over at her, “I was just… surprised! Cos you know… I just didn’t expect it. You’re cute and nice and I just… I was surprised. I thought you were just, like, playing a joke on me.” 

“Well, I wasn’t,” she huffs in her seat, crossing her arms angrily and staring out the window again.

“I-I’m sorry,” he says again. He looks over at her sadly, his heart aching. He wants it all to be right again, he can’t handle having her cry. “I get it… wanting to wait for someone special. I wouldn’t laugh at that– I think trust is the most important part.”

She sniffles, but stays quiet. 

It’s a few minutes later when she sadly squeaks out, “you were my first kiss, too.” 

Harry’s heart breaks in his chest. He doesn’t know how he’s gonna fix this.

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He parks in front of her apartment building when they get there, and rushes out of his seat to open y/n’s door for her. 

He tries to help her get out, offering his hand like a gentleman, but she refuses him and hops out of the car all by herself. She struggles to stay upright, though, desperately holding herself up with the car door as she stumbles, still pretty drunk and discombobulated. 

At some point during the car ride she decided to suck it up and put on Harry’s sweatshirt. Not because it was comforting and smelt like him. Just because it was cold outside. 

He follows behind her as she stomps up the stairs to her apartment door, and stands patiently for the next three minutes as she fumbles with her keys, trying to fit them in the lock. When she (as he expected) fails to open the door, she angrily shoves the keys into his hands and stands off to the side with crossed arms. 

He doesn’t find himself offended by her grumpy behavior. He deserves it, he supposes. Plus, it’s not that hard to deal with her angry huffs and little stomps and furrowed eyebrows. 

She’s a much cuter grump than he is, that’s for sure.

He unlocks the door for her and holds it open, and she beelines for her bathroom. She needs to brush her teeth immediately or else she might throw up from that horrible kiss. And her mascara is getting all clumpy and making her eyes sting. 

Harry goes to her kitchen, grabbing a pack of Advil that’s just sitting on the counter after filling up a glass of water for y/n from the Brita in the fridge. He hears a loud bang and a whiny owwwww from y/n’s bathroom, and chuckles to himself. She’s like a little clumsy baby deer. 

He remembers the last time, how many times she’d stumbled over herself, how many times she’d almost tripped and landed on her face. How he’d accidentally walked in on her changing last time. How sweet and soft she looked, tucked into her bed with her little stuffed bunny. 

He shakes his head to himself. He undoubtedly has a soft spot for her. She’s wriggled her way into his heart and melted him into a heart shaped puddle. He… he doesn’t ever want to see her cry again. He just wants to hold her, keep her safe, tuck her inside of his pocket and make sure she’s happy forever and ever. 

She’s sunshine. She doesn’t deserve to be sad.

This time, he knocks before he lets himself into her room, giving her ten seconds to compose herself before peeking his head in. His eyebrows crinkle when his eyes land on y/n.

“Why’re you on the floor?” he asks, quickly putting the water and tiny red painkiller on her bedside table.

“I dropped my earring,” she pouts, not looking up at him. She’s on her knees, patting around herself and desperately searching for the butterfly shaped studs she’d been wearing that night. She sounds like she’s about to burst into tears, “I-I can’t find it.” 

Harry sees it glimmering behind her. He kneels down next to her and picks it up, holding it in front of her face. “This?” Her wide eyes glimmer as she nods, taking it from him and walking on her knees all the way over to her desk to put it in her little heart shaped jewelry dish. 

She’s already nicely dressed in her pj’s (a fuzzy pair of pink pants paired with a tank top so that she wouldn’t overheat tonight) and she’s finished her drunk girl night routine (no skin care – just a makeup wipe and messily brushing her teeth), exhausted and ready for bed. 

Harry holds out a hand to help her up from the floor. This time, she doesn’t resist. She’s tuckered out, too sleepy to maintain this grudge. All she wants is her bed.

Harry’s hand feels warm as her smaller hand wraps around his palm, and she lets herself be pulled up by him and guided to her bed. He lifts up her blankets for her and uses a steady hand on her hip to ensure that she doesn’t fall sideways while she climbs into her bed. He tucks her in, pulling her duvet up to her chest, and without her having to ask, he picks up the little stuffed bunny who lays sadly at the foot of her bed. 

She watches him with round eyes as he kneels down next to her bed, tucking the little bunny in right next to her. Her skin looks soft and dewy, her hair framing her face in delicate wisps. She stares at Harry with wide, unwavering eyes, still glossy and red-rimmed from all the tears she shed today. 

He hates himself for being the cause of them. It takes everything in him not to lean forward, brush the hair out of her face, and kiss her sad, pouted lips. 

 “All good?” he asks instead.

Her fingers wrap around her stuffed animal gently, and she gives a shy nod. 

He smiles, “Okay.” His eyes are soft and caring, a wonderful contrast to the last time he tucked her into bed, when he’d been so gruff and stoic. Y/n has always found herself easily distracted by his pretty green eyes. They used to be so dark and mysterious, back before he’d started tutoring her. Before he’d kissed her. But now, there’s a glimmer in them that makes her feel warm. 

There’s just a certain softness to him tonight… one that she hasn’t ever witnessed. Her heart glows in her chest when his hand reaches out to rest on her arm gently. She loves the way his palm feels on her skin, loves looking into his eyes and seeing him stare right back at her. He gives her arm a soft, reassuring squeeze, and starts to stand up. 

Y/n takes a sudden breath. “Harry?” she quietly calls out his name. 

“Hm?” He pauses immediately. His name sounds wonderful falling from her lips. He wants to hear it over and over again. 

“Can… can you stay?” Her fingers twist around the bunny’s ears nervously. “Just for a little bit.”

He’s frozen for a second. She bites the inside of her lip nervously. She knows that he cares – she can feel it – but still, she braces herself for the sting of rejection. 

“Yeah.” He sits himself down on her bed, and finally lets himself brush her hair out of her face. “I can stay,” he murmurs. 

She exhales softly, a puff of relief floating in the air in front of her. Her eyelashes flutter shut as his fingers softly graze her forehead, then down to trace the apple of her cheek. He smiles as she nuzzles her face closer to his hand, silently asking for more affection. Like a little kitten, he thinks as he cups her cheek with his palm, petting her softly and smoothing her hair back. 

She smiles contentedly to herself. She can’t even remember why she’d been so insistent on refusing Harry’s help tonight, why she’d ignored him in the car and fought his offers to drive her home. 

This moment… it’s perfect. She could stay here with Harry forever. She snuggles into her duvet and pulls her bunny closer to her chest.

Harry stays there, petting her hair and staring at her sweetly, until her breathing evens out and the smile slowly fades from her face. 

That night, y/n dreams of curly brown hair and green eyes. Visions of warm hands and gentle touches cloud her mind, with flashes of sweet words and the name sunshine falling from rosy pink lips. 

She also dreams of a soft kiss being pressed to her cheek, and the feeling of chocolate curls brushing against her face while a deep voice murmurs goodnight against her skin. 

That part wasn’t 100% just a dream, though. 

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A vanilla iced latte with oat milk is gently placed in y/n’s line of vision, just a few inches away from where she’s tapping her apple pen against the library desk. She looks up, confused. 

The latte bringer is Harry, his pretty curls covered by a beanie. 

 “I saw you studying.” His green eyes glimmer as he swipes his finger across his nose. “Thought you might want a treat. To keep you motivated.” 

“Oh…” she puts down her pencil, and sits up a bit straighter. “Thanks,” she smiles nervously.

He nods. The air is tense. They haven’t seen each other in a few days, the last time being when he brought her home and stayed in her room until she fell asleep. She’d woken up alone, with only the remnants of his boyish scent lingering on her sheets… but her heart had felt full. 

She remembers him apologizing, and she remembers his earnest eyes and how he’d begged her to tell him what he did wrong so he could make it right. And she, of course, remembers how he’d tucked her into bed, and how his hand had cupped her cheek.

But, even despite his kind eyes and peace-treaty latte, she still feels nervous around him – especially now that she’s stone cold sober. Drunk y/n had been perfectly fine leaving everything in the past and snuggling into Harry’s touch, but sober y/n is obviously an overthinker. 

How was she supposed to act, when Harry had given her the best first kiss ever and also made her cry for hours straight right after? What was she supposed to say, when he’d rescued her from her failed attempt of a casual hook up and then driven her home and tucked her into bed with her stuffed bunny?

“Do you want to sit?” she asks. 

He nods, immediately taking a seat next to her. She takes a sip of her latte, and it’s perfect. It’s exactly what she would’ve ordered for herself. 

“Your midterm is tomorrow, isn’t it?” Harry fidgets in his seat, nervously using his thumb to pinch at the skin of his pointer finger.

She nods. “M’nervous.” The past five hours have been spent at the library, doing more practice problems. 

“You studied really hard. I think you’ll do well.” She must’ve finished all the problems in the textbook by now, Harry thinks. Y/n shrugs in her seat, looking down at her latte discouragedly. “I mean it,” Harry emphasizes, ducking his head down to catch her eye.

“I’m just worried I’ll make some stupid mistakes. Or that I’ll blank and forget the trig rules.”

“Don’t psych yourself out,” he says. His hand moves forward, as if he wants to reach for her hand, but he holds himself back and just rests it on the table. “You’ll overthink it and start freaking out. Just pretend like you’re doing more practice problems instead of a test. You were doing fine when we were studying together last week.” 

They both pause, remembering that study session. The one that ended in a kiss and tears. 

Harry clears his throat uncomfortably. Y/n takes a sip from her latte. 

Neither of them acknowledge the awkward incident. 

“Just imagine you’re in my room doing problems again. Don’t stress out too much. You’ve got this.”

She nods, sighing heavily. Harry watches her fingers as she fiddles with a ring that she’s wearing on her middle finger. 

“Thanks for driving me home, by the way,” she peeps. “The other night.” 

He nods, “of course.” She’s opened the floodgates, finally acknowledging the elephant in the room. The magnificent kiss, y/n running away, Harry finding her at the party, driving her home, then staying with her until she fell asleep. “Do you… do you remember anything that happened that night? After the party?” 

She doesn’t know if he’s referring to his apology in the car, or how he’d stayed in her bed and brushed his fingers through her hair as she fell asleep. Either way, she remembers. Her voice comes out barely over a whisper, “yeah.” 

He nods, eyes flickering down to his own hands. “I meant it,” he says, eyebrows furrowed. “Everything I said. I shouldn’t have laughed, I- I didn’t mean to…” He shakes his head to himself. “It was stupid, and m’sorry. I hate that I hurt you… that I like– ruined the moment–” 

“It’s fine–” she stammers, trying to brush it off. She doesn’t want it to be a big deal, she’s already embarrassed and bringing it up again just makes her want to… crawl in a hole. 

He sits up straighter, “it’s not fine. I was a dick.” He looks into her eyes, “I’m gonna make it up to you.”

She blinks at him.

“Please let me make it up to you.” His hand, resting on the table, inches closer to her. 

Harry cares… she can feel it. She can see it in his eyes, in his small mannerisms. She’s not making it up – it’s real. It feels warm and wonderful, like she’s a flower and sitting in the warm embrace of the sun.

Y/n can’t help but softly smile to herself. “Okay,” she whispers.

She slides her hands forward, and their fingers brush in the middle of the table. 

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part 3 hope u loved it :( epilogue is up on my patreon already, and will come to tumblr next saturday (aug 12) pleeeeaaaase lmk what u think and give her a rb and a comment i love u guys so so much!!!

sunshine (epilogue) - In which Harry's still grumpy, except for when he's with his sunshine girl.

sunshine masterlist

[yuikomorii]

Heyhey, may I know why you love Yui so much?

I hope this isn’t a weird question, it’s just that personally I don’t ever find the heroine to be an interesting character but I’m always ready to listen to other opinions :)

// To be honest… I don’t even know. (￣▽￣;)

As a heroine, I don’t believe Yui stands out as anything extraordinary. She isn’t particularly bad, just your average 2010s heroine, sharing many traits with others. I wouldn’t say she’s the kindest, prettiest, or mentally strongest MC out there, but despite that, I found myself growing more attached to her than to any other. There were moments when she annoyed me to the point where I had to stop the game, yet I couldn’t bring myself to dislike her. I find Yui and the other DL characters quite challenging to handle. Although Yui may appear nice and gentle, she got this amazing talent to get either herself or others in troubles, haha.

Still, maybe it’s her flaws that really drew me in. I’m not saying her behavior is always good, I can empathize with the Diaboys and understand why they lose patience with her sometimes. Yui can be selfish, pushy, foolish, shallow, and, depending on the route, quite possessive and obsessive. But that’s exactly what makes her entertaining to me. I wouldn’t have enjoyed DL if the heroine had been an innocent figure who always ended up getting the short end of the stick despite never doing anything wrong. It’s refreshing that the game shows her facing the consequences of her own actions, even going mad in some endings not due to abuse, but her own nature. It serves as a reminder that humans and vampires aren’t really that different, considering how anyone is prone to do bad things if triggered hard enough.

Additionally, I like that she’s sometimes very horny! It’s somehow relatable to see her admit that her initial attraction to Ayato was based on his looks and the pleasure he gave her. Many heroines are often surrounded by handsome men, yet it’s rare to see any act on that attraction as openly as Yui does.

I don’t mind that Yui isn’t particularly independent and seeks male validation. I don’t see anything inherently wrong with wanting attention and love from an attractive guy, as long as it doesn’t involve putting other girls down, which Yui never does. She may be stupid and have a low learning ability, but I find that both concerning and funny. DL would have been way more boring if she weren’t like that. In short, I like that she makes me laugh~.

Last but not least, she’s supportive, pure-hearted says/does the cringiest things ever and gets embarrassed, which I find absolutely cute. I love her energetic, clumsy, loud, cheerful, and talkative side so much! She’s one of those people who, no matter what they do, you end up forgiving them because they’re just so endearing!

In this house, we love GIRLFAILURES! >:3

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 10

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of alcohol and vomit & fluff and not edited!! word count: 2.6k

a/n: so obviously this is fiction and we don't actually know what Mat or Liana or his parents personalities are actually like but I took some liberty with Liana's personality. see end for more notes cause I don't want to spoil anything :) also sorry this is so late!! i went back to work and then had trouble with this chapter. i hope you all enjoy! likes, reblogs and comments feed my writing soul so let me know what you think <3

masterlist masterpost ask box

Liana texts you the day after your meet-up with Mat at the park, apologizing for getting angry with you and asking to go out for drinks. You don’t have it in you to still be upset with her for yelling at you because she was always the little sister you never had and just because you and Mat are having problems, doesn’t mean it should affect your relationship with her. Sometimes you wonder if you’re too quick to forgive and forget but you know that this is an exception. 

“It’s just weird, y’know?” Liana mutters, laying her head on the dirty bar table. She’s on her third drink and you’re close to cutting her off. “I’m going to be an aunt again, but I have this odd feeling about Calista. Like she’s not telling the entire truth.” 

You startle when she suddenly bolts upright and looks at you with wide eyes. 

“What if Mat’s not the father? That would make so much sense!” 

“How so?” you ask carefully. So far, you have successfully kept the fact that Calista is not pregnant a secret. It’s a secret you will have to take to your grave because you can’t let Marlee get in trouble when all she was doing was trying to help you. The truth might come out some day, but it’s something you will deal with then. 

“Mat is just being weird about the whole thing, like he’s hiding something,” she says. “Well, besides the fact that he hasn’t told mom or dad… but there’s something else.” She picks up her glass and drinks the last of her martini before signinally the bartender for a refill. 

“I think it’s time we switch you to Shirley Temples,” you say gently, asking the bartender for a couple glasses of water. 

She tries to wave you off when you push the water towards her but you give her the all too familiar look that you used to give her when you were both younger. 

“Fine, but if I’m getting cut off, so–” she stops talking abruptly, suddenly focused on something across the room. You turn and see a familiar face that makes your heart drop into your stomach because there’s no way she’s that stupid and you’re about to say something but Liana hops off her barstool and before you can stop her, she’s marching across the room to where Calista is sitting. She’s surrounded by a few other people, one of them being a guy you can’t quite place but definitely isn’t Mat, but the real kicker is the drink in her hand. 

You’re not in the business of accusing people but the way she’s laughing loudly and swaying a little in her seat makes you think that it’s not a non-alcoholic drink. You stare a little too long because when you snap out of your stupor, it’s to a loud shriek and shouting. Nearly tripping over your own feet, you rush over to find both Calista and Liana being held back by people and shouting at each other. You manage to drag Liana out of the hands of the person holding her back but you can’t help but stare at Calista in shock. You know she’s not pregnant but you didn’t think she was stupid enough to test her luck by getting drunk at a bar and possibly being seen by people who think she is.  

“I knew something was off about you,” Liana shouts at Calista who only now seems to realize that you are also in the room. Her face, which was red, pales considerably and her eyes widen when she looks at you.

“You are pregnant!” Liana shrieks and when you hear people gasping and the whispers start, you know you need to get Liana out of here now. 

With strength you didn’t realize you have, you drag her outside. She shakes you off as soon as you’re out the doors and promptly throws up all over your shoes. You don’t give yourself time to be grossed out, pulling your phone out of your pocket and calling the first person you think of.

“Hello?” Jax mumbles and you’re panicking enough that you can’t feel sorry that you woke him up. 

“I need you to pick us up,” you gasp and suddenly you’re sixteen again, calling him to pick you up from a party that you snuck out to. 

Jax doesn’t hesitate before agreeing and asking where you are. You rattle off the name of the bar and he says he’ll be there in ten minutes even though you know his apartment is at least twenty minutes away. You’ve never been so grateful to have him as a friend. 

“You didn’t call Mat, right?” Liana asks quietly and you look to see her sitting on the curb, looking absolutely miserable. Her eyes are filled with unspilled tears and you can only imagine what’s going on in her head. 

“No,” you tell her, sitting down next to her and wrapping an arm around her. “I called Jax.”

She nods and leans her head on your shoulder. You sit in silence for a few minutes before she speaks and her voice is quiet and shaky. 

“She was never pregnant, was she?”

Maybe it’s the natural motherly instinct in you, but you realize you can’t lie to her when she’s so upset.

“No,” you tell her and then she’s crying. You know that she’s drunk which makes her more emotionally vulnerable but you also know how sensitive she’s always been and it’s not a weakness. She wears her emotions on her sleeve and it’s only ever made her kinder and wiser than she should be for her age. 

“I’m sorry,” she sobs. “I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you when Mat told me but I was so confused and upset that he was keeping it from us.” 

Then she’s crying even harder. “Oh god, what are we going to tell Mat?”

Truthfully, in the chaos of all this, you haven’t had the chance to think about what you’ll do about Mat. You know Liana won’t keep the truth from him and even if she did, word travels fast and he would eventually find out. You’re not certain he can mentally handle this, not with everything that’s going on between the two of you and his fragile relationship with Nora. He was just getting used to the fact that he has a daughter when Calista dropped the baby bomb on him and now to find out that it’s been a lie? You’ve no idea what he will do. 

“I don’t know,” you tell her honestly and sigh in relief when you see Jax’s car come into view. You stand up, helping her back to her feet just as Jax parks and gets out to help you. 

He looks worried but doesn’t say anything about yours or Liana’s appearance. Once you’re both settled in his car, he tells you he’s going to bring you both to his apartment for the night, obviously not feeling comfortable dropping you home when you’re upset and intoxicated. You know he’s right but all you want to do is curl up in your own bed. 

“Alright,” you agree eventually and he nods, starting the drive back to his place. You must nod off because the next thing you know, Jax is gently shaking your arm, waking you up. 

“I can’t carry you both in,” he jokes and you look back to see Liana completely knocked out. She grumbles when you wake her but she’s coherent enough to walk.

Jax’s boyfriend, Eli, already has their guestroom set up so you get Liana in the bed and then situate yourself on the air mattress. Jax leaves with a promise to check on you both throughout the night and if you weren’t so worried about Liana, you would tell him not to worry but you’re not taking any chances with her.

You lay awake for a while, not able to get the image of Calista drunk and with another guy out of your head. You don’t know how to tell Mat about it and Liana probably won’t either but eventually you drift off to sleep.

. . .

The next morning, you wake before Liana. Jax came in and checked on you both a few times before deciding that it was okay to leave you so you’re surprised to find him awake when you make your way out to the kitchen. It’s just past 8 o’clock but he’s cooking breakfast, singing off tune to Taylor Swift.

“Hey,” you say softly, sitting at the breakfast bar. You know he’s going to want an explanation because even though he let you off the hook last night, he’s going to want to know why Liana was crying and you had vomit on your shoes when he picked you up. 

“Morning,” he replies, placing a coffee in front of you and a piece of plain toast. You can feel his eyes watching you eat and once you’re done, he looks at you expectantly. 

“We saw Calista at the bar last night,” you explain. “Drunk and with some random guy.”

“Huh,” he says, so you look at him. His face is neutral, not showing if he’s surprised. 

“What does huh mean?”

“I mean, you did say something was off about her.” 

That was putting it lightly because although you couldn’t tell him the full story in fear that Marlee would lose her job, you did express your concerns about her without telling him that you knew she wasn’t pregnant. 

“Yeah,” you sigh. 

You hear shuffling from the guest room and look to see Liana walking into the kitchen. She plops down next to you and groans.

“I’m never drinking again,” she says and you can’t help but chuckle despite the circumstances. 

“Said every hungover person ever,” you say and a small smile crosses her face before she frowns, clearly remembering last night's events.

“I have to tell Mat,” she says. “It’s not fair to him that she lied.”

You sigh but nod in agreement. 

“I have to pick Nora up from my moms,” you tell her. “Are you okay to tell him yourself?” 

You really don’t want to be there when Mat finds out, not when you’re dealing with your own feelings towards him. 

“Yeah,” she says, eating the toast Jax offers her. 

You both finish your coffee and then Jax drives you to your apartment and you drop Liana home before picking Nora up. 

She’s ecstatic to see you, telling you everything she did with grandma from the moment you dropped her off until now picking her up. 

“And then, Millie hissed at me but Gizmo barked and scared her away,” she takes a deep breath before continuing her ramblings. “Can we get a kitten?” 

“You’re allergic, remember?” You remind her, and then a thought pops into your mind. Where did she see your mother’s neighbor's cat? “Where did you see Millie?” 

“Mrs. Turner invited us over for tea,” she tells you and then offhandedly adds: “she asked about you and Mat.” 

This doesn’t surprise you because Mrs. Edna Turner is quite the gossiper. You have trust in your mother that she didn’t tell Edna anything private but you’re still curious what exactly they talked about and you know that your child can be sneaky when she wants to be. 

“What did Mrs.Turner ask?” you ask, rolling your eyes when she sighs dramatically and puts her tablet away. 

“Well, first she asked if Mat was really my daddy and when Grandma said yes, she said ‘that poor child’,” she says, face scrunching up in confusion. “What does that mean?”

You make a mental note to talk to your mom about bringing Nora to any future tea parties at Mrs. Turner’s. 

“Nothing,” you assure her. “What else did she say?”

“She told grandma that if she were you, she wouldn’t move me to New York.” Her eyes narrow and she frowns. “I thought you said we weren’t moving to New York.”

“We’re not.”

“Then how come Mrs.Turner said that?” she demands.

“‘Cause Mrs. Turner doesn’t know how to mind her own business,” you mumble and then sigh, looking at Nora so she’s listening. “We’re not moving to New York, okay?” 

She nods and then smiles. “Can we go get ice cream?” 

“Yeah, we can go get ice cream,” you tell her even though it’s nearly dinner. 

Every once in awhile, ice cream for dinner is in order.

. . .

It’s past midnight when there’s a quiet knock on your door, and the only reason you’re awake to hear it is because Liana let you know she told Mat the truth about Calista. She told you that he had left the house as soon as she told him that morning and hadn’t returned home all day. You were expecting a text from him but your phone was silent and that worried you even more.

So, when you open the door to find Mat standing in front of you, red rimmed eyes and looking about two seconds away from crying, you don’t hesitate to let him inside. He slips past you and toes his shoes off before going straight for the couch and sitting down on it. You hesitate, but eventually settle down next to him. 

He’s resting his elbows on his knees, hiding his face in his hands and it takes you a minute to realize he’s crying silently. 

“Mat…” 

“I just - fuck, I thought that this was my second chance, you know? It wasn’t ideal but I would get to do all the things I missed with Nora,” he says, scrubbing his hands over his face. “I was such an idiot.”

It’s not a dig towards you but you still can’t shake the guilt you always feel when he talks about everything he didn’t get to see. Her first steps, first words, first day of kindergarten. All the things you can never get back. 

“It’s not your fault,” you say gently. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I should’ve,” he mumbles and before you can say anything, you hear soft footsteps coming down the hallway. You look to see Nora, rubbing her eyes sleepily and frowning when she sees Mat. 

When he realizes she’s there, he wipes his eyes hastily but it’s not fast enough because Nora walks over to him and deepens her frown.

“Are you okay?” she asks quietly, reaching out and touching his cheek that’s still damp. 

Mat looks like he’s going to say that he’s fine but seems to change his mind last minute. He smiles sadly and shakes his head.

“Not really, peanut,” he tells her and the frown on her face deepens even more than you thought possible. 

“Mama says hugs make things better when you’re sad,” she says, sounding much wiser than a six-year-old should sound. Then, without asking, she climbs up onto his lap and wraps her tiny arms around his neck and hugs him. You can see the moment Mat breaks, hugging her back gently and it’s like all the tension drains from his body. 

You call it the “Nora Effect”, because her little hugs always seem to make you feel better.

“I’m so sorry, Nora,” you hear Mat whisper and you know he’s going to beat himself up over everything that’s happened with Calista - and Nora deserves his apologies, but your kid is one of a kind and you know that she will forgive him.

With time, if he proves himself, he’ll have a place in her life and you can’t wait to see what the future holds for them. 

authors notes: so calista is goneeeee FINALLY. she wasn't supposed to be here as long as she was but I got too carried away with that storyline and i'm glad it's over lol also, I had mixed thoughts about having mama be the one who told Mat that Calista was lying but I just couldn't get it right so I figured next best thing would be Liana! ps: millie is named after my own cat who i will put a pic of in the comments below

tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @lovinbarzal @whatthepuckisgoingon @teapartydreams @alilstressyandlotdepressy @keiva1000 @hischiershoe @bellstwd

@alwaysclassyeagle @brrbrina @nonsensical-nonsence @love-like-woaah @swift-sos @barzygirl13 @ilyrafe

if you want to be added or taken off the list, please let me know :)

[holylulusworld]

SHG for killers (3) - The second meeting

Summary: 6 men meet up to talk about their problems. They soon realize they need someone to help them solve their problems. This person is you. Whether you like it or not.

Pairing: Steve Kemp x fem!Reader, Lloyd Hansen x fem!Reader, Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x fem!Reader, Andy Barber x fem!Reader, God, the bounty hunter x fem!Reader, Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, hostage situation, language, kidnapping, plot twist

A/N: Please consider Steve Kemp is not a cannibal in my story. This is an AU. All men are serial killers, killers, or hitmen.

SHG for killers (2) – You (the reader)

Self-help group for killers masterlist

“What do you mean?” Lloyd is in Barber’s face. He growls profanities before pushing the lawyer out of his way. “That’s the woman on your phone. And I can tell, you have a fucking lot of pictures on your phone of her. Even some in her bathtub.”

“She’s not my therapist,” Andy argues while stepping toward you, sitting in the middle of their fucked-up self-help group.

You assisted your boss more than once with groups like these. Usually, they are middle-aged women or men who are unhappy with their mediocre lives.

They nag about their sex life, jobs, and even food only to feel better. Most of them never had real problems or even got close to having problems.

You on the other hand just got kidnapped by a group of crazy guys, and one creep. Andy Barber, a first class creep, second-class lawyer.

“F—er,” you growl behind the gag and glare at Andy. He got you into this shit show, so he can get you out of it. “L—go.”

“No letting go of you, Cupcake,” the guy with the mustache, Lloyd, says. His bruised balls don’t seem to stop him from getting cocky and being an asshole.

“She’s not his therapist, for fuck’s sake,” Robert steps in. “Do you want me to get rid of her? I can make you a good price.”

Whimpering, you try to scramble away from the scary-looking guy. He smirks while getting a gun out.

“What did we say about weapons at our meetings?” Ransom sighed deeply. “Last time, you almost stabbed God’s eye out, only because he wanted to eat the last donut.”

“It was a cronut, but this doesn’t matter now,” Robert brushes Ransom’s comment off. “She won’t be helpful so, we are going to get rid of her, one way or another.”

“Christ, we won’t kill her!” Andy barks now, making you flinch. “How could you kidnap her, Hansen? You see one picture of a woman and decide to go out there and kidnap her? You burned her place down too. Do you honestly believe there won’t be consequences?”

“He’s not wrong,” Kemp brings in. He watches you cower on the ground, feeling a little more excited. “The cops will ask questions. When and where did you take her? Did you check for cameras? What about her home? Did anyone see you?”

Lloyd turns toward the doctor like in slow motion. He growls his name before tackling him to the ground. You giggle when they start to wrestle because it seems tackling people to the ground is Lloyd’s thing.

“What’s so funny?” Ransom grunts. He sneaked closer to you to poke your arm. “They are going to kill you.” The bastard in a baby-blue sweater says. He looks familiar, but you can’t remember where you have seen his face before.

“Ransom, leave her alone,” Andy finally steps toward you. He grabs you by your waist to haul you up, making you groan. “Whatever happened here, is not my fault. I want you to know that.”

“Cr—p,” you grunt behind the gag. The men stop fighting as Andy helps you sit on one of the chairs.

“HANDS OF BARBER!” Lloyd is back on his feet to push Andy away from you. He removed the gag, hoping you’ll forgive him if he brings you somewhere safe.

“SHUT UP, HANSEN! Andy bites back. “You can’t even kidnap the right woman. No wonder you had to find a self-help group. You get nothing done on your own.”

“Oh yeah?” Lloyd cocks his head and flips Andy the bird. “Please enlighten me, Mr. Barber. How are you going to help me?”

“I will delete the footage,” Andy begins. “I bet you waited for her at the underground car park. Did you check on the cameras at her apartment complex or the one on the other side of the street?” He chortles when Lloyd blanches. “I guess not. Good thing the boring lawyer is here to take care of your ass, isn’t it.”

Andy pats Lloyd’s cheek, earning a growl from the man kidnapping you. “Get your fucking hands off me, Barber.”

“What are we going to do now?” God finally asks. He glances at you, humming as you size him up. “She’s pretty, and I like her hair. Can we keep her?”

“We are not going to keep her,” Pronge and Kemp grunt in unison.

“I wouldn’t mind eating a cookie of her coochie,” Ransom eyes you like his latest meal. “I bet she makes naughty noises when getting tongue fucked.”

“Fuck off, Drysdale,” Lloyd is in the arrogant-looking man’s face. He pushes him around, roughing him up a little until the man raises his hands in surrender. “That’s my Cupcake, and I’ll eat it.”

“No one will eat shit,” you finally found your voice. “You sick weirdos will bring me back home, or I’ll scream until your ears are bleeding. And believe me, I can get on your nerves so much that you will lose your mind.”

Andy grins. Your temper and cockiness were the reason he got obsessed with you. “Y/N, they are not as nice as I am. How about you do not threaten a room full of killers.”

“Losers,” you huff and glare at Andy. “You better not think I do not know about all of your little problems.” You drop your eyes to his crotch. “How long since you had an erection? Months, years?”

Ransom is having a blast watching you dismantle Andy. He’s munching cookies, chuckling now and then as you throw insults at the lawyer.

“I saw you snap pictures of me more than once, you fucking creep.” You curl your upper lip.

“I was bored and,” Andy sighs deeply. “It was wrong of me to take pictures of you, that’s true but…” He looks away and fakes a whimper. “You were the first woman I was interested in since my wife died.”

“Man, you are using your dead wife to get laid,” Kemp snorts. “That’s a new low, Barber, even for you.”

“Says the guy fucking his dead partner’s wife,” Andy snaps at Steve. “Who is a creep here? Don’t think we do not know it was you killing him.”

“Everyone knows you have a tiny wiener in your pants,” God throws in, not looking at one of the other men in the room.

“What?” They suddenly all say.

It’s seconds later that they all start to argue. Punches get thrown, and they start to scream at each other.

“Guys…” You roll your eyes as they won’t stop arguing. “GUYS!”

They stop fighting each other to look at you. You cock your head to look at Lloyd. “I’m not his therapist but I studied psychology. I just never graduated. I could try to help you with your…problems, though.”

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 10

Just a little metal band Steve while the poll for what do with boy w/a bat and werewolf Steve is ongoing. Here if you want to vote.

Corroded Coffin is almost done with their album when the shit hits the fan and Eddie soothes away some of Steve's insecurities (and accidentally creates one more.)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

****

Eddie was grateful that with the album ninety-eight percent done the label had released Jeff and him from their jail sentence so that they could go out and be people again. Brian had also been released for good behavior, but Dr. Owens suggested that Gareth stay away from the booze and parties for awhile, so Gareth had chosen to continue the exile willingly.

So to say he was excited to see Steve without all that shit hanging over his head. It was like a rare cool breeze against his skin on a hot summer’s day.

He got a table at the bar he told Steve to meet him at and ordered their drinks. He looked around the room as his knee began to bounce. He didn’t think Steve would stand him up. Steve wasn’t like that. But what if something happened? What the new studio they got was in New York or London or Chicago? How could he suggest that to Steve? He nee–

A warm hand touched his shoulder and all anxiety vanished as Steve murmured his hello.

Steve tapped the center of his forehead as he sat down. “What’s going on inside that head of yours? I can tell you’re spiraling, you’ve got this wide-eyed panicked look to you.”

Eddie rubbed his forehead and pouted. “Everything.”

Steve sighed and tenderly took his hand. He brought it up his lips and kissed each knuckle separately.

“The music business isn’t a forgiving industry at the best of times,” he murmured gently. “But it’s really rough on relationships. All kinds of relationships. Family, friends, lovers. But you’ve got me, okay?”

Eddie let out a low shuddering breath and then nodded.

“So tell me about your day,” he said with a slightly crooked smile. “You talk to Robin and your friends?”

Steve looked around the bar and nodded. “Robin says she’s working on the change of scenery, but she’s not sure how long it’s going to take. As for the other thing... we’re split down the middle. Me and Spence want June, while Simon and Shane want January.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side. “Why the split?”

“Spence and I have hope we can get the,” he lowered his voice, “album,” he raised his voice again, “done and want the time to finish it. While the other two are clawing at the walls, chomping at the bit, and just begging for a chance to travel again.”

Eddie sighed. “I’m sorry, Stevie. We’re pretty much into editing portion of the album and agreeing on the song order. But we can tour whenever. That’s the best part about being us. We can take six months to do five shows if we wanted to and our fans would eat it up. But if your guys want to wait until next summer, then we can do that. If your guys want to leave right after the New Year, fuck we can do that too.”

Steve sighed. “The record label is just pushing us to the limits and I think even Robin is beginning to crack. First there was the mix up with our contracts then this new thing, plus the touring and everything else. It’s a lot put on her and she’s starting to go mad.”

“They like to do that, unfortunately,” Eddie agreed. “I know Celeste is a good manager, but I think that The Fallen could use an actual agent, someone to take the load off of her back.”

Steve chewed his lip. “But won’t they have to be brought in on the secret if The Fallen were to get an agent?”

“Not if you don’t want them to,” Eddie said with a shrug. “A lot people use stage names they have to have contracts. So...” he waved his hand. “I’m assuming Celeste has control of all the fiddly business stuff for each member of the band?”

Steve shrugged. “Pretty much I guess.”

“They could work through Celeste if the band doesn’t want them to know,” Eddie said with another shrug. “But I recommend bringing them in. They can’t put out fires if they don’t know there’s more than just smoke.”

Steve rubbed his bottom lip. “Yeah...I don’t know. I’m not in the band so I couldn’t say for sure, I’m only a lowly peon.”

“Maybe, but they trust you,” Eddie scoffed. “Look I get that you don’t feel like you think the band can trust someone else with this, but agents are there to protect the band. They could lose all their business if they went around blabbing shit about their clients.”

“Maybe they should just get yours,” Steve joked. “Who is it?”

“Nancy Wheeler.”

The color drained from Steve’s face and he shook his head. “We’ll find someone else. I don’t–can’t trust her with a secret that big.”

Eddie tilted his head to side as he considered Steve’s odd reaction.

“Oh shit.”

Steve laughed weakly. “Yeah, oh shit.”

Nancy was another one of Hawkins High’s alums. Bright and powerful, smart and capable. Steve could see why Corroded Coffin had gone with her. Only he couldn’t trust her to hand him a knife, much less a secret as big as this one.

They had dated before she decided that he wasn’t ambitious enough for her and dumped him for Jonathan Byers. But not before cheating on him with the guy first.

Nancy had stabbed Steve in the back once, he had no desire to give her the ammunition to do it again.

Eddie paid for their drinks, and then took his hand to lead him outside. He pulled them into a small alleyway, barely big enough to fit them both, where they would have some privacy.

Eddie took Steve’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, letting their breaths mingle. Steve’s fast and panicked, Eddie’s slow and calm.

Eventually Steve’s breaths matched Eddie’s and Eddie sealed their lips together.

“You’re okay, baby,” he soothed. “I’ve got you. You’re safe in my hands. You know that right?”

Steve gasped, taking in air as if coming up from the bottom of a vast lake and break the water for the first time.

Eddie combed his fingers through Steve’s hair as the other man fought to get his emotions under control.

Steve let out one more shuddering breath and Eddie smiled. “There you are. I was getting worried for a moment there, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “Opening up our secret to other people is always terrifying, but Nancy? That’s monster level dread right there.”

Eddie continued to run his fingers through Steve’s hair. “I understand that, but do know what would happen if she did that? She wouldn’t just lose you as a client, she would lose her whole catalogue of clients. Corroded Coffin included. And not just because of who we are to each other. It would be such a serious breech of confidentiality that she would literally be scorch earth’ing her whole career.”

Steve let out a long breath. He knew that objectively. He knew that she also could just not take him as a client. Decide that The Fallen wasn’t worth the risk.

“What if we sent in Robin as Celeste Baptiste and see what she thinks?” Eddie suggested. “You know Robin’s instinct is killer. It’s why she’s such a good manager. Or even better, why doesn’t Robin meet with Chrissy and have Chrissy go over agents with her and see what Robin thinks? That okay?”

Steve smiled and brought their lips together. “You take such good care of me, Eds. I love you so much.”

“Back ‘atcha, pretty boy.”

Eddie’s phone rang and he picked it up.

“‘Ello?”

He pinched his nose and sighed. “Yeah. How long?”

There was brief pause as he listened to the other person on the line.

“I’ll check Mancharo’s and El Dios and you check out that strip of bars a few blocks south of the hotel.”

Again he listened, his brows furrowing deeper.

“Then I’ll just hit up El Dios and let you know if I find him,” Eddie muttered and then hung up.

“Fuck!”

Steve rubbed the wrinkles between Eddie’s nose until his pinched expression soften.

“That was Jeff,” Eddie murmured when he was calm enough. “Gareth stormed out of his therapy session today and hasn’t been seen since. They thought he was in his room, but when they checked, he was gone.”

Steve ran his hands up and down Eddie’s arms soothingly. “I’m sorry, Eds. Do you want me to go with you?”

Eddie wanted to answer yes, but if Gareth saw Steve he would absolutely pitch the biggest bitch fit outside of literal toddlers.

“Nah,” he murmured instead. “You’ve had a rough day. I’ll call you when I have news, okay?”

Steve nodded. “I love you, babe.”

“Back ‘atcha, darlin’.”

Steve sighed as he watched his boyfriend hail a cab.

He pulled out his phone and went right to Gareth’s Instagram. His location was off but Steve almost recognized the background.

He called Robin and sent her the picture. “We’ve been here before, right?”

“Uh...” she said. “Yeah! Dustin’s twenty-first! The Devil’s End!”

“If you weren’t a lesbian and I wasn’t dating Eddie I would kiss you on the mouth!”

“Eww...” she huffed. “You going to tell me what this is about?”

“Meet me at the apartment and I’ll fill you in.”

Then he sent off a brief text to Eddie.

-Try The Devil’s End. It’s where we had Dustin’s birthday bash.

The reply was almost immediate.

-God I love you.

-On it, babe.

Steve smiled to himself as he put his phone away. He couldn’t repay Eddie back for how kind he had been tonight, but at least he could help with this.

He just hoped Gareth was okay.

He knew that this business could and would chew up the best of people and spit them back out again without a single care.

Having a double life helped keep Steve and his friends humble. But he had no doubts in his mind that that could change at any moment.

Because if it wasn’t the business that would do the trick, it would be the isolation of not being able to tell anyone about what they really do for a living.

If he was being honest with himself, had it not been for Eddie figuring out who he was, Steve would have bet on himself being the first to fall to the Beast.

Both of his parents were raging alcoholics and he knew for awhile there when he was in middle school, his mom had gotten into some pretty heavy drugs.

It was why his high school days were so lonely. Because his dad was either hauling her off to rehab, or going on long trips where he would cheat on her and the cycle would begin again.

But now, with Eddie to keep him grounded?

His bet was on Simon. Hands down. The guy was very insecure outside of his alter ego Asmodeus.

If Steve only knew.

Trouble was brewing on the horizon, just not in the way Steve had thought it would go.

****

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie

@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach

@val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch

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@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian

@thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners

@thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade

@cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33

[admirationandromantics]

Guilt and Grudges, 1: Memento Mori

Okay, so this is the official first chapter. PS! If you're new, there is a prologue before this! Now we actually enter the game itself. Thank you to those who have seen the first part. I really hope you guys like this in the long run. I know it won't be as popular as the Josh one (let's face it, he's more popular), but I still hope my Chris gals are into this. Anyway, enjoy <3

After the incident, the friend group fell apart. Everyone was struck with grief, and the easiest way to cope was to do it alone, create some distance, ease the guilt. I can’t even imagine how Josh felt. Imagine falling asleep, not a worry in the world, and you’re shaken awake, hearing that your sisters are missing. The police were called when Chris and I arrived back at the lodge, and Sam still hadn’t gotten Josh to wake up at that point. The situation had gotten out of hand, and that’s when I was told what the prank was. Safe to say, it would be hard to forgive them for what happened. They were the reason for the death of two of my best friends. 

Because yeah, they were dead. Several months went, and they were never found. That means they’re dead, and we don’t even know where their bodies are. Matt and Ashley were struck the hardest, guilt overriding them. I may not forgive her yet, but that didn’t stop me from occasionally walking to her place, making sure that she ate and showered. I’d never seen her like that before, and she never stopped crying either. It was hard to stay strong for her. No surprise that when I got home, I fell apart. Head to my knees, crying myself to sleep each night. If we were like this, how bad must Josh have felt? 

I also stayed in contact with Sam, meeting up for study dates and making sure that we didn’t pause our lives. It was important to keep going, to not be stuck in time. We were each other's rocks. I may have had to take full care of Ashley, but Sam and I took care of each other. We talked, cried and moved on. Slowly but carefully, things got better. This also applied to Ashley. She had lost a lot of material in school, and getting back into it got her busy. I felt good to see her better. 

I wish I kept in contact with Chris, but during everything that happened, we both fell into silence again. I didn’t see him nor hear him. Sam told me that she knew he spent a lot of time with Josh, trying to lighten his mood and get him better. He’s such a kind soul, and I get why he didn’t contact me. We all had a lot on our plates, especially taking care of other people. 

Things were finally falling back into place when we got the video. A video from Josh. He looked better, and… excited. He wanted us to get up on the mountain again, party all night and have the time of our lives. Both Sam and I thought the idea was odd, but still decided to go. Maybe we would get some closure, and then we could go back entirely to normal. I dreaded seeing the others, but it was time to forgive. They never meant for them to get hurt, at least not in the way they did. Ashley also wanted to go, to finally apologize to Josh and get over things. 

***

The bus is smelly, a strong musk coming out of the heaters. But being on it for two hours, I’ve gotten used to it. Sam is sitting beside me, listening to the radio. Of course they’re talking about the twins. After all, it’s the yearly anniversary of their disappearance. I take one of her earplugs, putting it in my own ear to listen. She doesn’t mind. 

“listeners an update on Hannah and Beth Washington, the twins who are still missing…”

“One year ago tonight, the Washington girls left the safety of their parents’ lodge and headed out into a snow storm”

“Foul play?”

“Not officially no. There’s one individual who we’re considering a person of interest but his whereabouts are currently unknown. He has an interesting history with the Washington family… He had warned them against pursuing a construction project…”

I take the earbud out, handing it back to her. This is the shit they always say. They didn’t even do a thorough investigation. Good for nothing cops. I look out the window, taking in the landscape. Everything seems so empty and eerie. Of course I feel like that, people died here. I bet everyone is feeling some sort of heavy feelings related to these mountains. 

I take a peek on Sam’s phone again, and she’s looking at Josh’s video. He looks so glad, so happy. Maybe he was truly better, maybe this is what we all needed? He emphasizes how this is what the girls would’ve wanted, and I frown. Would they? After what happened last year? If nobody disappeared, would Hannah even keep hanging out with the group? 

The bus finally comes to a stop, both of us thanking the driver on our way out. The outside is cold and uninviting, and that eerie feeling doesn’t leave. Sam takes a deep breath before taking a step forward, walking through the Blackwood Pines-gate and sign. I follow her, deciding to get over myself. There’s nothing wrong here, everyone is safe, well… not everyone was last year. 

“You okay?” she asks, turning to me while still walking. “Yeah, just, different” 

“I know, I feel the same” 

I look around, the trees high and dark. The only light coming from the lanterns which shine bright on the white snow. 

“There’s something about the woods” 

“It creeps me out” 

We continue for a while in silence, both just processing the path. This wasn’t going to be easy for anyone. 

“Okay, we need to get it together” I state, taking a few larger steps so I walk beside her. 

“Yeah, for Josh, for everyone” 

“Good we agree” 

The air lifts a little as we continue talking about other things, completely ignoring the heavy burdens associated with the place. We talk about school, my last assignment, her climbing etc. 

Finally, we arrive at a large black gate. I try to move it, but it won’t open. Sam leans down beside me, picking up a piece of paper. 

“The gate’s busted, climb over!” She explains, and I move to the side, walking over to the stone fence. 

“Good that your boyfriend is looking out for us” 

I stop in my tracks, giving her a look. She puts her hands up, smiling and shaking her head while walking over. She knows that we haven’t talked. 

“Okay, okay, not your boyfriend” 

I’m satisfied with her conclusion, and I turn back to the wall. I grab a couple of stones hanging a bit out, and hoist myself up. “Yet…” she whispers under her breath, and I roll my eyes. A little climbing later, and I’m on top of the wall. 

“Need help?” I ask, looking down at her. 

“Me? The master climber?” 

“Student becomes the master scenario?” 

“Oh, that’ll never happen” 

I laugh at her, and she tries not to. If she misses a grip, she can fall. Not that it’ll have severe consequences though. The snow will give a soft landing. But it’s still cold, and I would prefer not to be outside longer than necessary. We both jump down on the other side, continuing up the path. A couple of stairs and street-lights help us find the way, finally coming to the parking lot. Two cars are parked, one green and one black. I walk past, not bothering to check them out. 

“Wow, Emily is getting it down tonight” Sam comments, stopping me. 

“What do you mean?”

“Come and see” 

“Sam, we shouldn’t be snooping” 

“Just see” she urges, waving her hand. I oblige, walking back and looking in the car window. Inside, on the passenger seat are several bags from a sex store. Lube and handcuffs are hanging out of them. 

“Didn’t Emily tell us that she didn’t want to have sex when she dated Mike?” I ask, a bit confused by the contents. We used to have light talks about it at the time, how she felt horrible and was scared that he’d leave her because of it. 

“And now she’s making sure that she doesn’t end up the same way with Matt” 

We give each other a sad look before turning away. This is none of our business anymore, we haven’t really talked for a year after all. We walk over to the cable car station, and a dark-coloured backpack is laid on the bench. 

“His backpack is here, but where is he?” she asks, looking around. 

“Your answer is as good as mine- ahhh!” 

A loud roar is heard before two strong arms grab my sides. I scream, and Sam laughs at my reaction. I turn around, met with a pair of glass-covered blue eyes and a teasing smile. His hands don't move, but he still lets them go a bit, not grabbing me too harshly anymore. I take a breath, trying to get my pulse down. 

“Good God I’m going to fucking kill you Chris” 

Both of them laugh in response, and he pulls me into a hug, easing my mind. I stand on my toes as I lay my head on his shoulder, breathing him in. He’s like a massive teddy bear, giving the best hugs. I never feel as safe as I do in his embrace. 

“Okay, okay, sorry. But you have to admit, I got you good” 

“No comment” 

We part, and both of us suddenly get aware that another person is here. Chris shifts his gaze, looking over at Sam. She’s smiling widely, lips pressed together as if to stop herself from saying something. 

“Don’t mind me, just have your moment” 

I roll my eyes, finally letting go of Chris. He shakes his head, mumbling something about us not having a moment and gives her a hug as well. He grabs his backpack while Sam starts asking questions. 

“So, how’ve you been?” 

He sighs, shrugging his shoulders. I feel the same. I mean, what are you supposed to say when you’ve barely talked for the last year? Everyone is hurting, but it’s not something we discuss anymore. 

“Well, I guess you can imagine” 

She doesn’t press further, but before the mood falls dark, Chris takes the mic. 

“Oh! So, I found something kinda amazing” 

“What?” 

“I’m not gonna tell you, you gotta see for yourself. Come on, it’s this way” his hand goes on my lower back, guiding me forward. The touch is quick and soft, and he removes his hand as if it never were there. 

“Where?” Sam asks. 

“Right around here. Gonna blow your mind!”

I give her a look, biting my lips to stop me from laughing at his theatrics. She knows what I’m thinking. Knows a little too well. The snow reaches half way up my knees, but luckily, Chris has beaten some of it down, making it easier to walk. We go around the station, being met with a clearing. Chris opens his arms and tilts when exclaiming “Ta-da!” 

“Pretty rad, right?” 

“A shooting range” I comment, not seeing the appeal. This was not what I had in mind. Sam doesn’t answer, just forces a tight smile. I know she hates these types of things. 

“Come on, look at these beauties” he comments, pointing to the targets. 

“Beauties is not the word that comes to mind, more like violence and death” 

I look over at her, and she has her hands around herself. I know she feels uncomfortable, and it just hits me again all the memories we have here. This is probably a bit too much. 

“I’m gonna go and wait for the cable-car, I’ll call for you when it arrives” she states, turning around, one waving hand in the air. I turn my attention back to Chris, who’s already picked up the gun. 

“Why is this here?”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, what is a shooting range doing at the base of a ski lodge?” 

“Have you ever met Josh’s dad?” 

“Um, no?” 

“Well, he thinks he’s like Grizzly Adams or something” 

“Huh” 

He points the gun forward, aiming before hitting a flask. He takes a breath, aiming again before shooting a hanging sack. He’s gorgeous, and it’s actually embarrassing how much he turns me on by doing this. It looks like he knows, to a certain extent, how to work that thing. 

“Wow, nice shooting” I coo, teasing him. The targets were not far away, even a child could hit them. 

“Alright, I’m bad” he jokes, dancing and moving the gun. “I’m a badass” 

“Okay, calm down Mr. I can shoot something that’s close to me”

He stops, looking me up and down and biting his lip. 

“What, do you think you can do better?” 

I smile tightly, no I actually can’t. This is the closest I’ve ever come to a gun before, and I’m not even holding it. It probably wouldn’t be too bad to try it, but I actually fear that I might hurt someone. 

“I’ve never used a gun before” 

He lets out a breath, a smile tugging on his lips. A hand makes it in the air, waving me over. I comply, walking towards him. 

“Okay, I’ll show you” 

He puts the weapon in my hands, pulling me so his front is against my back. If I weren’t wearing a jacket, I could probably feel his heartbeat right now. He takes hold of my arms, the left one for aiming and the right one to hold it up and support the thud that’ll come. Bicep around my chest as his body is pressed against me with every breath he takes. My finger finds the trigger, his naked hand moving on top of mine, skin against skin. Thumb caressing over my knuckles. His head leans down, whispering breath against my ear as he coaches me. 

“There, mhm. A little to the left, you’re doing so good…” 

My body doesn’t listen, and slowly, I start turning towards him. His head lowers to me, eyes meeting. He looks down and my lips, and I shift my gaze to his, faces closing in. I haven’t seen him since what happened. I haven’t felt him. His breath, his warmth, his embrace. I feel my body relax, letting go of the gun as he pushes me closer, hand going in my hair. I grab hold of his jacket, feeling the soft fur on the inside. The same jacket he had last year, the same glossy eyes, the same rosy cheeks, the same Chris. My Chris. Or noses brush against each other as we move closer. 

“Guys! The cable car is here- Woah!” 

We both jump away from each other, body hot and faces red. Why did I use so long, why didn’t I just kiss him?

“Didn’t mean to interrupt anything here, but we gotta go” 

“Um, yeah we’re coming!” Chris yells back, taking hold of the gun and placing it neatly by the range fence. He gives a small smile as he passes me, walking to the other side. My heart is still beating heavily, each thrust going up to my throat. Pulse is in the hundreds, and my body grows cold by his absence. Shit. 

I jog around, meeting them by the cable car. Sam has got her backpack beside her, leading to me having to take a seat beside Chris. I don’t hesitate, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still flustered about what happened. Or what didn’t happen. 

Chris starts talking again, this time about how Josh and he met. They became friends in third grade because of a total coincidence. He talks about the butterfly effect, but I completely zone out, mesmerized by the way his lips move and his eyes shine. I can’t take my eyes off him. Imagine how he would feel on top of me, under me, even just standing would be great. I want to feel his lips, his touch. 

“Earth comes crashing down, are you still with us?” 

I turn to Sam, her hand waving in front of my face. I take a peek to my right, seeing Chris smile weakly at me. 

“Um, yeah, what were we talking about?”

I try to be as quiet as possible, making sure to not get too busy looking at him or imagining things. Chris asks about Sam’s mother, wondering how she’s doing. 

“Yeah, she also asked if we were a thing. I think she’ll never let that thought go” 

“Not even after you marry Josh?” 

“Shut up, I could say the same thing to you” 

“When I marry Josh?” 

“You know what I mean” 

We finally reach the top, and Chris goes for the handle, trying to get it open. He fumbles, eventually using both hands to force it open. It still doesn’t work. 

“Chris, today please” Sam sighs, and he moves from the door. 

“Just try, be my guest” 

She looks smug, cracking her knuckles before trying to open it. She tries again, taking a deep breath before putting all her body weight on it. Shit, we’re stuck. 

“Okay okay, give me one second” she tries, but fails another time. 

“Saaaaam, we don’t have all day” Chris teases, getting back at her. 

“Oh shus” 

A rustling outside the cable car catches my attention, and I force the others to be quiet. Maybe someone’s here? Footsteps on wood makes both of the blondes start shouting for help. They both slam against the window panel. 

“What the hell?” 

“Jess! Hey!”

“Jessica, over here!” 

She walks in front of us, examining the vehicle. 

“Uh, are you guys having a really weird stroke or something?” 

I walk forward, explaining the situation. 

“Jess, we’re stuck, can you get us out?” 

“Pretty please” Sam pleads, hands reaching out in prayer. Jess obliges, clicking a button, making the door go up. Chris walks out first, followed by me, then Sam. 

“Oh my god. I thought we were goners, another ten minutes in there and I would have chewed off my own leg” Chris exclaims, hands waving around theatrically. I roll my eyes, and Sam tries to kill her laugh. 

“Aw, that’s sick Chris” 

He turns to us, showing off himself. 

“Look, I got a lot of meat on my bones. This is all muscle down here” 

I look down, imagining him without the pants. It might be true, the last time I saw him in shorts was the summer a year ago, when many of us went to the beach. His legs were quite nice. No wonder, I bet he benches like- Sam hits me, bringing me back again. Shit, I’m too obvious with my looks. 

“Yeah right” Sam says sarcastically. Shaking her head. He rolls his eyes, turning back to Jess. 

She’s holding a red envelope, a familiar name written on the top. Before I can comprehend it, Chris leans down, snatching the paper and reading it. 

“Hey!”

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” 

Jess rolls her eyes, hand going to her side and eyes angry. Gosh, I would not want to poke the monster. She tries to snatch it back, but Chris is quick, dodging her. 

“Chris!” 

“Come on Chris, give it back” I try, but he puts his finger up to silence us. 

“My goodness. Seems that someone has a little crush on our good friend and dear class president Michael Munroe. And… what kind of sizzling erotica might our Jessica be capable of imagining, I wonder.” 

I walk behind him, hand reaching for the paper and stealing it. 

“Hey!”

I hand it back to Jessica, who’s still looking at him with murder-eyes. 

“You still have some explaining to do” I urge, not wanting to press too hard. 

“Well” she starts, fiddling with the envelope. She seems… weird. “Mike and I are a thing now” 

“Damn, drama” 

“What about Emily?” Sam asks, a bit confused. 

“Pretty clear cut actually, Em’s out, I’m in. Easy as that” 

“If you say so” 

This was definitely going to be a long weekend. And considering the strong personalities to these two, there was going to be noise. Loads of it. 

“Alright, alright, let’s just get up to the lodge already. I’m getting tired of all this nature and junk” 

“It’s beautiful up here” I exclaim, looking at the view. The sunset shining yellow lights on the snow-filled treetops. The big surrounding mountains and skies. Sam puts a hand on me, also admiring it. 

“Sometimes I forget to just take it all in” 

“Yeah, the view is beautiful, let's go!” Chris interrupts, pulling us out of our moment. Jess doesn’t follow, and I turn around, giving her a questionable look. 

“You guys go ahead, I’m just going to wait here for a bit, you know, see who else is coming” 

“You mean Mike?”

“I mean… whoever” 

I turn back, waving my hand as I start walking. 

“Don’t freeze your toes off” 

“Not planning to!” 

The woods get denser as we move higher. Small sounds making me turn my head several times, expecting to come to meet with a wild animal. I flinch every time, and Sam does too. I know she gets the same eerie feelings as I do here. It’s no surprise, really. She lost her best friend in the world. I did too. She walks ahead, leaving me and Chris to struggle in the back. 

“Not in your best form, Chrissy?” 

He laughs, a dark one, lower octave which is probably a mix of tiredness and grunts. He gives me a weak look, eyes looking over me. I’m struggling as well, legs almost giving out. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s also a bit tired, I would’ve begged him to carry me. Wouldn’t be the first time. 

We try not to walk on the ice, grabbing the occasional railing to hold ourselves steady. I take a step uphill when I suddenly slip. Under the snow is a large patch of slippery ice. I yelp as I fall back, bracing myself for the impact. A hand grabs my forearm, holding tightly, too tight, almost bruising. I don’t fall, but open my eyes as I see Chris staring at me intently, hand holding me up and the other on the railing, keeping us both from falling. 

“Watch your step” 

“Thanks, I’m trying to” 

“Ice’s covered in snow, a bit difficult” 

“I pray to god that I’ll not slip and get a concussion” 

“Don’t worry, if it happens, I’ll get you down again”

I smile at the thought. Not of me being hurt, but being in his arms again, feeling his warmth. His hand leaves mine, making sure that I grab the railing firmly first. We continue our way up, the path getting easier as we pass the icy bits.

Taglist: @porcelainbluedove @b3rryb3t

[alexa-yukiyu]

Revenge and Teasings ( Asl x sister!reader)

A/N: Yall, I COOKED; we got some of that ASL action up in here 🫦. Will this make you guys forgive me for leaving you unfed for two days? We got those polled jobs; I think we all agreed on these guys’ jobs. I didn’t ask about Luffy cause he has a canonically modern au job given by Oda 👀 . Guys, I researched Law and firefighting for a few hours for this. Im a teacher, so thankfully, I didn't have to research that one. Also, beware, this does address abusive relationships, but dw, I also included a lot of wholesomeness at the end cause; hello?

Taglist at the bottom < 3

Dividers by @/saradika

The three Brothers find themselves in the living room, Ace and Luffy roughhousing while Sabo sighs, trying to separate them.

Their usual antics were halted as the door to the house slammed open and closed, their little sister standing at the door, tears going down her face.

“O-Oh hey, you guys are all here earlier!” She exclaims hastily, wiping her face

The fighting paused as all three paused and stared, Sabo nodding.

"Yeah… I only had a short meeting with a client today; Ace just had a PD day, and Luffy didn’t have a shift today… are you okay, Reader?”

He asked her, glancing at her; her eyes were puffed up, her hair was everywhere, and her clothes were covered with dirt

“Yeah! Yeah! Just had a little stumble outside; it was so embarrassing since everyone saw it and got overwhelmed,” she replies quickly, trying to fix the mess in her hair

The brothers all glanced at each other and then back to Reader, who clearly was lying.

Ace narrowed his eyes at her.

"You’re lying."

Luffy nodded also.

“Yeah, you’re really bad at lying when you’re upset. What’s wrong?”

“You caught me.”

She laughs

“The administration called me out today; one of my co-workers complained about how I ran the classroom; I was so upset I lost balance on my bike and fell,” she winced, rubbing her nose.

“To make matters worse, now I have a bunch of paperwork to do, thanks to her, so I have to get started on that,” she groans, walking up the stairs

“I’ll be downstairs for dinner!” she calls as she enters her room, closing the door behind her

“….”

“Since when does she call the other teachers ‘co-workers’? She always calls them by name when telling us about them, doesn’t she?” Sabo questions

“It’s absolute bullshit that anyone would complain about her classroom, I’ve seen her lesson plans, and they are one of a kind; there's no way anyone could complain about them,” Ace adds

“And why was she so worked up over paperwork…? She always loves doing it; she was one of those weirdos who loved having something to do…., especially for her kids.”

“She definitely lying again….” Sabo concludes, getting up.

“Let me talk to her!” Luffy exclaims, shooting up

“I think it’s best we all go together; if we go alone, she will easily be able to brush us off or lie again; it’s harder to do that with three people onto you.”

“Okay then, let’s go,” Ace said, getting up as well and climbing up the stairs

“Reader? Can you open up for a minute?”

“Y-Yeah! Just give me a minute!” She screamed, sounds of her scrambling being heard

“Hey, I thought I told you guys I had paperwork to do?” she nervously smiled as she opened the door

“ We know you are l-“ Luffy starts but is cut off as Ace quickly wraps his arms around him, covering his mouth

“We know you’re having a crappy day, but we thought that since we were all here, we would spend some time together,” Sabo cuts in with a gentle smile on his face

“O-oh, well…yeah, come in then!” She said, opening the door wider with a smile

After some whispering between Ace and Luffy, the brothers pile in; Ace sits in her desk chair while Luffy throws himself on her bed next to her, and Sabo takes a seat on the bed, glancing at her

"Hey, what’s this reader?” Luffy said, raising his sister’s sleeve to reveal a dark bruise on her wrist.

“Oh, that! Well, like I said, I had a pretty bad tumble on the bike.”

“You have another one forming on your face. Luffy points out.”

“Yeah… I must have been really unlucky; I fell on my face when I fell.”

Sabo narrowed his eyes at her; after so many cases and long days at the court, he had grown excellent at deciphering body language; it became second nature for him to spot mannerisms that hinted towards the person’s insincerity or anxiousness.

Mannerism, such as constantly shifting their eyes between different people in the room, the way they begin to scratch at their nose more often than usual, playing with their hair to try to ease the anxiety or the slight tilt they did towards the door, an escape route if they were discovered; all of these he could easily spot in his sister.

Luffy glanced at the bruises, experience of running in and out of burning buildings, and helping people in hazardous and unfortunate situations; he had seen all types of injuries and had become used to them, become used to identifying their origin

Scrapes and open skin from high-speed accidents, abrasions on the skin from hazardous materials being misused or leaked, and even bruises and injuries from civil unrest situations. He had enough experience to be able to tell injuries from a bike stumble to man-made injuries.

Ace glanced at her sister; because of his job, he was obligated to be certified in specific areas, mandatory reporting being one of them.

Because he spent all day with the children, he had to be able to spot any abusive indicators, inconsistencies in their stories, malnutrition, the children’s reaction to their parents, and weird marks on their bodies. Although he had been trained on how to apply this with his first-grade students, the same principle could be applied to any person of any age that presented these indicators, indicators that he could clear as day see on his sister

The brothers glance at each other, and ever the one to take the lead, Luffy is the first one to speak up

“Shishi, really? Do you need any help bandaging the scrapes?” he offers

“Scrapes? I don’t have any scrapes, Luffy”

“Hah? That’s weird; when people fall off their bikes they usually have lots of scapes; you don’t have any, just some pretty bad bruises,” he points out

“W-Well I-

“People who have been in biking accidents, or just falling in general, usually have lots of injuries in their hands, seeing as it is our instinct to protect our face and to slow our fall., you however, have none of those weird..” Continued Sabo

"W-Well, I have no self-preser-

“It’s weird despite having so much paperwork to do and being outed by one of your co-workers, these lesson plans are all completed, and there are footnotes all around from your co-workers seems they really liked your ideas and need you to help them implement them on their own classroom, wonder what kind of person would ask advice from someone they think is doing their job wrong” Ace comments picking up the various papers littered on her desk

“H-Hey don’t tou-

“You aren’t going to lie again, right?” Ace cuts in

“Because I mean, you really suck at it,” Luffy adds

“Do we wanna try another round of you telling a convincing story?” Ace adds, glancing at her

“I -I…” she tries to find the right words but hangs her head after failing to do so

“That’s unfair; you guys are teaming up and using your jobs against me.”

“It’s not fair? Not fair for who?” Sabo raises a brow.

“We are just calling you out on your bullshit, which is pretty nice of us,” Ace comments in a deadpan voice

“Usually, with everyone in the law, we would tear you to shreds until you said the truth. You should be thankful for being so lucky that we’re your brothers,” Sabo adds

“Can I do anything to make you guys drop this?”

“Nope,” Luffy said without hesitation

She groans, throwing herself in her pillow head-first

Ace sighed, joining his siblings on the bed and easily picking his sister up, sitting in her place, placing her on his lap, and hugging her

“Please let us help you; we promise we will deal with anything you may be going through.”

“Nothing wrong,” she says quietly

“N-nothing’s wrong,” she repeats, a slight crack in her voice as tears start pooling in her eyes

“Nothing…Nothing is wrong,” she says as she begins sobbing, gripping his brother's clothes tightly as she cried into him, the same way she did when they were children

The brothers all stayed still; Ace stroked her hair comfortingly and patted her back as she broke down in tears. Despite them all being grown up and having seen their share of violence and trauma, this still made the brothers' hearts bleed, seeing their youngest sibling hurt.

Luffy pulled her into a hug, his rubber arms embracing her tightly, letting her sob into his arms while Sabo patted her back in support.

"Hey now, it's okay; you can tell us the truth now; we aren't gonna be mad."

“I can’t; I can’t. “

"You can, we promise, we are all adults; we aren’t gonna lash out at you for telling us the truth," Sabo said firmly

"No matter what you say, or what has happened, we will always be here for you" Ace reassures her

“No, He said he would hurt you,” she cries

The brothers all freeze at her words; their smiles falter, and their faces all drop, their hearts all break.

Luffy pushes out slightly from their embrace, grabbing her hands and looking her in the eyes

“Reader. Tell us who did this, no matter who it is, we’ll kick his ass! We won’t be done in by some idiot; you’re always there for us, so let us carry your burden this time!” Luffy exclaims

“I don’t want you guys to get hurt; I couldn’t live with myself if my brothers got hurt because of me,”

“Don’t be an idiot!” luffy screams at her, shaking her, ignoring his brothers' protests

“We’re already hurt from seeing you get hurt and not being able to do anything! It hurts more seeing you get hurt!”

Her eyes widen at his words as her sobs become more frantic

Ace quickly pulls his little sister from Luffy before pulling her into a big bear hug and kissing her forehead affectionately

“We’ll be fine, just please tell us who it was; we promise we’ll handle this; as your big brothers, it’s our responsibility to protect you, and to do that, we have to know who did this to you,” his voice was tender and kind. All the fire that was in him earlier has dimmed and was taken over by nothing but brotherly concern.

“E-E-Enel,” she sobs out

Ace is the first to react, turning his sister toward him

“Enel? The asshole who kept harassing you back at the host club? I thought we left him behind when we left that job?”

“After we got our jobs in Newgate School, he managed to find my contact,” she cries

“He said if I stopped seeing him, he would go after you guys. He said he would destroy your careers and your lives, and then he would go after my kids.”

Ace sighs, flickering her forehead

“You’re an idiot.”

She squeaks, holding her forehead in pain

“W-What?”

Ace chuckles softly

“I’m calling you an idiot, did you forget? Sabo is the best attorney in GrandLine, Luffy is a firefighter with friends in all the offices, including the police, and you know our principal, Edward, is a family man, but he is powerful; he would not stand still if he heard this, especially not to one of his employees being under threat and definitely not when the kids are under threat.”

Luffy nods in agreement.

“We are pretty much the worst people a guy could try to mess with; you do realize that, right?”

“I know that, I know the chances were slim, but I wasn’t going to take any chances, not with you guys on the line.”

“So, instead, you decided to put yourself on the line?” Luffy asks

“Is your health not worth even a chance to protect us? Was that your reasoning sister? I thought you’d trust us more,” Ace adds

“You are aware of how idiotic that is, right?” Sabo chimes in

“We have dealt with worse; you weren’t just playing with our lives, but with your own as well; you really think letting some dickwad play you with would be better than taking a chance of us handling him??” The freckled man exclaims

“Also, did you think for a second we wouldn’t find out? And that we wouldn’t get worried?” Ace adds

“I was hoping I would be good at hiding it…

“You know damn well you have always been lousy at hiding stuff,” Sabo comments sharply, but then his tone softens a bit

“But you should have just told us the truth, no matter how dangerous you thought it would be.”

Luffy nods.

“You didn’t need to carry this burden alone; we could have helped you.”

“I’m sorry “

“Just don’t do it again, okay?” Sabo replies as he pulls her into a big hug; Ace and Luffy join him in the hug, the three brothers letting their sister hug them for long, not letting go of their sister, Ace kissing her forehead

“We’re just worried about you; we don’t care if it’s dangerous; we love you,” Ace reassures her

“Now let me see it,” he said, gesturing for her hand

She hesitates for a moment, not wanting to give her hand to Ace; she turns towards the other brothers with pleading eyes, but they all nod for her to show the bruise, so she finally does, holding her sleeve back, and puts her hand over Ace’s, the bruise covered a large part of her arm up to just below the elbow with some bruises and marks on various parts of her arm, some older, others fresh

Ace glances up

“Sabo, how good of an attorney are you?” he says, a dangerous undertone in his words

“Ace! You are not killing him!” Reader hisses

Ace doesn’t react to her words; instead he speaks calmly and cooly

“No one said anything about killing; I was thinking more of a severe beating” he chuckles before grinning wickedly

“Let’s kick his ass” agrees Luffy

“Sabo, you’re an attorney; please talk some sense into them before they get into trouble with the law.”

Sabo looks from his brothers to her; he doesn’t seem particularly against the idea of hurting Enel; in fact, his eyes are glinting with delight at the idea

“We’re not breaking any laws; after all, it was self-defense. We saw him attacking you, and we stepped in using reasonable force to protect you and ourselves.”

“Isn’t that right, guys? we only had to use force after he came at us.”

“Sabo! You are not lying in court!” She pleads

“Who said anything about lying? All three of us are witnesses; it’s not lying if it’s the truth!” Ace says not breaking eye contact with his sister

“It’s not lying; we all reported the same story and told nothing but the truth.” Sabo nods excitedly

“Yeah!!” Luffy agrees with a nod; they all seemed to be one and the same when it came to taking care of someone who hurts someone as important as their sister

“Guys, please, think about this,” she says, turning to look at all of them

“Sabo, come on, there’s no way a judge would buy three brothers having to all launch at a guy just for self-defense!”

“Oh, but there was even an officer at the scene who witnessed it; he had to help us get the guy off you; the guy was just ruthless; we had no option but to all step in,” Sabo exclaimed, continuing his made-up scenario

“Zoro would be more than happy to join if he hears what the guy did” Luffy grins

She sighs, looking at her brothers, tears welling in her eyes

“You guys are unbelievable,” a teary laugh leaving her

“No one is getting away with hurting our family; come here!” Ace says, grinning and pulling her in for a noogie, his smile widening at her small shriek,

“You ass! What happened to protecting your little sister? That hurts!”

"You use that language in your classroom?! It's just a noogie!" he said with a grin, glad that even for just a few minutes, she could just relax with them, forgetting about Enel and the damage he had caused.

"it does not hurt!"

"Besides, you deserved it for not being honest with us; you're not getting away with keeping things from us," Sabo laughs

“You treat your kids this way?!” She retaliates

“No, I treat my students with kindness and patience, but you’re my lil sis, so I have to mess with you a little,” he teases

“And you totally deserve what you’re getting.”

She scoffs

“Patience and kindness”

“You heard me, only kindness and patience, but you’re not a first grader like they are, so you get a little extra care since you’re older and know more than they do,” he said, his movement getting faster

“Not to mention, we can’t put little Tama in a headlock as a form of discipline,” he adds

“I’m telling Tama his beloved teacher will give her a noogie!

“You wouldn’t!” Ace laughs

“Tama would never believe it! She loves me!”

“Im also telling your squad you let innocent civilians be tormented, Luffy!” She said escaping from the headlock and running out of her room

“Oh, don’t even think about it, Shishishi!” Luffy grabs her hand, stopping her on her tracks

“You guys keep using your jobs against me! Unreasonable force, I say!”

Luffy simply laughs

“You should have joined me when I called you to train with my squad!”

“You wanna talk about unreasonable force? Well, you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, sis?” Ace replies, grabbing her as Luffy tosses her back in the bed and wraps her in another headlock

Sabo shrugs as he watches, not even going to attempt to break this particular situation up

“Not my fault! I need to use more force; otherwise, it won't get through your numbskulls!” She screams, laughing joyously, the pain and suffering from her situation forgotten momentarily

“And Sabo! How could you! A man on law watching these two brutes commit battery!”

“Hey, a little headlock is hardly anything; we’ve done far worse.” Sabo chuckles

“A man of the law would know all the technicalities of self-defense,” he points out,

“And you’d be surprised by how much I can witness without being called to court; a few weeks ago, I was watching a student in a bar brawl, and he didn’t even get arrested, just a fine, so don’t be too worried about me, I won’t tell.”

She gasps mockingly

Luffy and Ace both chuckle

“We should have expected you’d put up the least fight, Shishi” Luffy chuckles

“You’ve always been the least physical of the three; you are so easy to tease,” Ace adds

Sabo chuckles, though he didn’t join their ganging up on their little sister



After finally being free from their teasing, she smiled at them

“Thank you”

The brothers all smile back at her

Ace squeezes her hand

“We’re just relieved that you’ll let us help you now.”

Luffy nods

“Don’t worry, we will kick Enel’s ass!”

“You didn't think I would let it slide, did you, little sister? The way I see it is that Enel picked a fight with you, which in turn means he picked a fight with all of us; I won’t let someone threaten my family without paying the consequences.”

I was honestly worried that this would just keep a grim tone all throughout it, but I managed to clutch at the end because the brothers wouldn’t just let her sister stay upset before they dealt with this asshole, and honestly, neither would I. I really struggle with Luffy being OC here, but I look back at all his speeches and serious moments and I think this is pretty spot on, if anything mellowed out

Taglist:

@Imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

[d34dg1rl5]

Idk if you’re still taking requests, but if you are! Hear me out!

Danny Johnson x reader, but it’s sort of a Winter Soldier situation (this is a long one, forgive me 😭)

Like, maybe reader was raised in some sort of Red-Room-Black-Widow-Winter-Soldier-Program-thingy, becomes a lethal assassin, you know what I’m talking about

Reader gets a mission in Roseville to pick off some high rankning leaders, but nobody knows about their secret job. So everyone thinks Ghostface just picked off another poor victim. But when it happens more frequently, no pictures of Ghostface posing, the murder scene looking completely different from his own murders, etc. everyone starts realizing that it’s not actually Ghostface

People panic, this killer is even MORE efficient! Danny is confused, and a bit insulted. He picks a random girl to start stalking, the perfect model citizen, just moved in, the perfect target. He needs to pick up his game! So the stalking begins, nothing out of the ordinary, he learns her routines, her habits, she seems to be just a sweet girl, focusing on her studies

It’s when the final day comes, when he’s about to strike, that she breaks the routine. She goes out on a nightly walk in the town (very off-brand, very out of character), goes into an alleyway, comes out with a package, goes into some motel, comes out in full gear, decked out with weapons, goes to a hidden motorcycle and drives off to her target. He stalks her as she carries out her mission, watches as eliminates her own target, and goes back to normal the next day

How will he react? Will he try to start some game of “who can get the most kills���? How will he react when he finds out she’s just following orders? Will he try to approach her? (Risky move considering he’s just a guy with a knife, and she’s one of the most dangerous people on the planet) Will he get a crush on this pretty, dangerous, calculating, gorgeous fellow-killer? (New obsession unlocked) Will he be even angrier and try to pick her off? How will he reaaaaact???

(You can ignore this if you don’t feel like writing it, I just thought that you’re the most qualified author to turn to with this question)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK AND THE COMPLIMENT! FEEL HUGGED AND KISSED! <3

At first, Danny would probably feel… a little insulted. He’s Ghostface, the feared slasher of Roseville! So when he starts noticing more and more bodies, all killed in a way that feels different from his usual work—efficient, clean, and precise—he’d definitely feel his ego bruised. He’s used to striking fear into people’s hearts, but this new killer is doing it in a way that outshines him in terms of skill, leaving no trace, no boasting, no playful poses. It’s like someone is beating him at his own game, and that’s not something he’d take lightly.

His immediate thought would be to ramp up his own killing spree to try and reassert his dominance, but that doesn’t last long when he starts watching this perfect citizen in town—a sweet, studious girl who doesn’t seem to have a dark side at all. He watches her routines, completely believing she's an easy target. But as he tracks her, he notices things that just don’t add up. It’s like… one moment she’s a normal girl, the next she’s walking into an alleyway, disappearing for a while, and emerging like someone else entirely—full gear, armed to the teeth, ready for a mission. And that mission? A kill. She’s carrying out the very thing that Ghostface claims to be the master of.

His first instinct is to follow her, to learn what’s going on. Maybe even to try and compete with her, show that he’s the true predator. But as he watches her, he realizes she’s not just some amateur—she’s way beyond him in skill. She’s too professional, and unlike him, she doesn’t get off on theatrics. She just does the job. Efficiently. Quickly. Cleanly.

There’s this moment when Danny’s watching her do her thing—assassinating her target with cold, calculated precision—and he feels this strange mix of admiration, curiosity, and frustration. Part of him wants to approach her, maybe even offer to join forces, because holy shit, she’s impressive. But the other part of him is annoyed. This is his town. He’s the killer. He’s the one who should be feared.

At first, Danny might think about eliminating her. There’s this competitive edge to him that would make him want to outdo her, to take her out and prove that he’s the ultimate killer. But the more he watches her, the more he realizes just how dangerous she is. In some weird way, he becomes fascinated by her. She’s like a mirror to his own skills, but better, more refined. And that sort of obsession—while he doesn’t want to admit it—starts to grow. He’s always had a thing for powerful, dangerous women, and now, here she is, so lethal, so gorgeous, and so unreachable. Could he outdo her? Or could they join forces and see who can get the most kills?

As much as Danny might want to ignore it, there’s definitely something about her that stirs him. The cold, calm precision, the way she carries herself—there’s an allure to her danger. For the first time in a long time, Danny is enamored with someone. He wants to get close to her, maybe in the most twisted way possible. He’s no longer thinking about her as a rival; he’s thinking about her as someone who could be his equal—or better yet, someone who might actually be his match. There's a weird attraction there, this drive to get inside her head, understand her, and maybe even… team up?

If Danny does try to approach her, it’ll be risky. He knows she’s a pro, and one wrong move could mean his life. But Danny's a guy who thrives on danger, so he might try something bold—like following her mid-mission, watching her take out a target, and then confronting her after. He’d probably be cocky at first, trying to provoke her, maybe challenge her with a smirk or a taunt. “You’re good, but I’m better,” he might say.

But how will she react? Maybe she’d be cold, indifferent, sizing him up as nothing more than a nuisance, or maybe she’d be intrigued by this man who’s clearly trying to play in her league but isn’t quite in her ballpark. Maybe there’d be a standoff, a battle of wills, maybe a temporary truce as they size each other up. Who knows? The tension would be palpable.

Ultimately, if the reader has been trained in this program, they’re more than capable of handling any threats. But if Danny starts playing the long game and follows her more closely, he might start to realize that she’s not just another killer. She’s a puppet, too—following orders just like him. She doesn’t have control over her actions.

If Danny’s a smart guy, he’ll start questioning things—what is she really working for? Who’s pulling her strings? And does he really want to be part of this? But for now, it’s all about the thrill. And he wants her in his life… one way or another.

This whole dynamic could turn into a fascinating blend of twisted admiration and competition. They might end up in an ongoing cat-and-mouse game, where they try to outdo each other, and maybe, just maybe, there’s a spark of something more. If anything, Danny would definitely be obsessed with this mysterious killer, even if it means finding out that they’re both just puppets in someone else’s game.

[ruinofchimera]

It’s more convenient for me to analyze these arguments in depth in a separate post, so here we are. 1.

This is almost exactly what I’m suggesting, but you’ve managed to twist it. I wonder what exactly was so funny about Severus being attacked, humiliated, and threatened. In addition to this whole very “comical” situation, he was her friend. Let’s not forget this little detail. If this reaction seems absolutely reasonable to you, well, I wouldn’t envy your friends. I would never forgive such a reaction to my public humiliation, but maybe we have different standards for what should be called friendship.

In fact, she did join the mockery. Doesn't the use of a derogatory nickname, in addition to the mockery of his clothes, illustrate this enough? No, of course not, because she was just acting on emotion.

2.

Yes, I’m implying that Lily should have handled this situation with complete grace. Why shouldn’t she have, if she is the saintly and morally pure person you make her out to be? Why wouldn’t anyone expect her to be completely calm and polite in this situation? You expect exactly the same from a guy who was bullied and threatened in front of everyone. What are these double standards? Let’s make up our minds whether people still have the right to let loose emotions when they are being mentally destroyed, or whether there is no such right.

You state that Severus' words are not just a random insult, but a full attack on her identity and a bold sign that Severus associates himself with blood purists. You believe that this outburst of anger defines Severus. It doesn’t matter that he’s mentally broken at the moment. No. He had to behave with grace. He had to remain calm and polite. However, how he acted instead is seen as nothing more than malicious intent and a calculated situation (lmao, him being a mudblood too—and yes, anyone except pure-bloods is considered a mudblood by blood purists—definitely only confirms that his insult was well-considered and all). But does Lily play by some other rules? Doesn’t the same logic apply to her? Interesting. And I ask you to stop underestimating the power of bullying and abuse. That’s hardly on the same level, huh? If you're going to go into the emotional damage that Snape caused Lily with his insult, I can do the same. Severus’s mental state, already fragile from years of bullying and struggles with identity, was crushed even further by the realization that his only friend used the same cruel nickname his bullies had used to degrade him for years. Oh, and somehow she even managed to come up with a brand-new mockery to double the pile of bullying. She witnessed his public humiliation but joined the abusers at the first opportunity. And, of course, Severus’s trauma doesn’t mean anything. Only Lily’s trauma counts, given your constant highlighting of her hurt. 3.

No, that’s where you’re wrong. I don’t think she’s a hypocrite for rejecting Severus’s apology after everything. I implied that she was a hypocrite because she forgave James, who never even apologized for his behavior. And this whole idea that she started dating him only after he changed and became valiant is not supported by anything at all. Sirius and Remus pointed out that James continued his bullying—just not on dates with her, but behind her back. Anyway, I don't really care about Lily's love choices. She has the freedom to believe in James' redemption, just as she has the freedom to reject Severus' apology. And she was not obliged to stick around. I've written this I don't know how many times, and I have little faith that this will be the last time because you people are still ignoring it. I wasn’t talking about their reunion; I was talking about a sense of remorse. Whether Lily forgave Snape or not, he felt guilty about his behavior and apologized. Lily never did. She didn’t think she had done anything wrong, and this is a significant difference between them. They both followed their emotions and hurt each other, but only one of them repented. Such things, whether you like it or not, say a lot. 4.

I hate to judge something by how it’s talked about. Show, don't tell, you know? The characterization of anything will vary greatly depending on the narrator and their biases. We explore the story through Harry’s eyes and hear the perspective of his father’s friends. If we were to study the story through Draco’s eyes and hear his father’s perspective on the events, I’m sure many things wouldn’t match. And this is the natural state of affairs. So forgive me if I don’t remember a single scene where Lily behaved like a good friend, and therefore I’m skeptical when someone proclaims her to be one. The fact that she justified her friendship with Severus to others can have a very double meaning. The fact that she defended him is also very questionable if she did so in the manner shown in the only scene of her "heroism." For me, this is all unconvincing, especially when, in contrast, we have the precedent of Sirius and James' friendship, which in some ways mirrors the situation of Lily and Severus, except for the differences that actually define the concept of friendship. Both Sirius and Severus grew up in abusive families, both had dark tendencies that were just expressed in different ways. But Potter stayed loyal to Black after the Prank, even though James was forced to sort out the situation by himself. Apparently, for James, the bond with Sirius was more important than punishing him for his recklessness, and this bond wasn’t broken. When Sirius finally decided to run away from home, he ended up with the Potters because he knew that James was fully aware of his family’s atrocities and, more importantly, ready to shield him from it. I could go into this for a very long time, but my main point is that I have no doubt James was a good friend. And I don’t even need to hear Sirius praise him for this. Show, don’t tell—this is exactly the case. Everything that has been shown of Severus and Lily’s friendship seems disturbing, and not just because of Severus' actions. That was the point of my previous post. 5.

Well, I started my original post with the phrase, "If you want to talk about her toxic friendship with Snape, don’t try to erase her contribution to the equation." Toxic friendship (mind that I didn’t say that only Lily was a toxic friend) and contribution to the equation (not her fault for ruining their friendship) are the key words. Lily Evans was the focus of my thoughts, but not the scapegoat. Don’t confuse these things. I didn’t delve deeply into Severus' contribution (though I haven’t ignored it in my post) because I’m not new to the fandom. In the more than 12 years I’ve been here, I’m well aware that the incident with the slur has been covered as much as possible.

Moreover, it is actively used as a way to shut down any discussion about Snape, conveniently omitting that Lily was, in fact, an active participant in this unhealthy dynamic, not a victim. And yeah, she wasn’t a good friend.

Although it depends on everyone’s understanding of friendship, I admit that some may consider her approach to friendship to be worthy. But again, you need to make up your mind: if Lily has the right not to be held accountable for her emotional outburst, then Severus does too. If the circumstances don’t mitigate words spoken in a state of distress, then Lily is responsible for her sudden bullying. Otherwise, it’s hypocrisy. I’m not going to be convinced that Lily was a suffering friend, if only because I’m fortunate enough to know what real friendship and support look like. Their friendship was toxic, but not solely at Severus' hands. He misstepped, and so did she. He apologized, she did not. That’s pretty much the whole story.

[maxdibert]

i want to know what do you think about Remus since you already talk about James and Sirius i really need to know :3

When someone puts a big topic on the table, in Spain we say: sujétame la cerveza lol So yeah, Lupin is one of THAT topics. Here we go:

Look, I can deal with Remus Lupin having literally zero self-esteem and a massive inferiority complex, and for that reason using Sirius and James as his safety net at Hogwarts, not stopping them when they were complete jerks because he was afraid they'd reject him and he’d end up alone. I can deal with that, I can excuse being an accomplice to bullying just like I can excuse Severus for getting involved with the Death Eaters because he saw himself as vulnerable. I forgive him, seriously. I can even forgive him for being an absolutely irresponsible adult and not taking his potion—Merlin knows why. I can let that slide too. But there are two things I can’t let slide.

The first, and less important one, is that he justified James’ actions to Harry. I mean, it's the least important because I can understand not wanting to tarnish the kid’s image of his father, but when the same kid is telling you that his father and his friends (including you) were assholes, maybe you should admit that you were a total jerk. Or that at least your friends were, and you did nothing. I get why Sirius denied his guilt because, well, Sirius Black. Like, what are you going to expect from him? To him, there was nothing wrong with it. But Remus was aware that it was wrong, and as an adult, he can admit it. You don’t have to make up some story about Snape envying James over Quidditch (lolololol like Severus Snape would remotely care about that gym-bro crap). But anyway, I see this as almost the least serious thing.

What I will never, ever forgive him for in my entire fucking life is that at 36/37 years old, with gray hair already down there, HE WAS ALMOST FORTY YEARS OLD, PEOPLE, he got a woman in her twenties pregnant, had an existential crisis, and was considering leaving her WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD. WHAT IS HE DOING?? Like, I don’t even know how to express this in English because my language is Spanish, and I swear I have a ton of adjectives in that language to insult this man, but in English, it’s harder—but hello?? He was ALMOST FORTY YEARS OLD, HIS WIFE WAS TWENTY-FIVE, HE SLEPT WITH HER, GOT HER PREGNANT, AND LEFT??? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE, REMUS LUPIN?? WHAT’S IN YOUR HEAD?? Like, if he was so terrified of passing on lycanthropy to the child, why didn’t he use a condom?? Or, I don’t know, the magical equivalent—HAVE YOU HEARD OF A VASECTOMY?? And if he really, truly felt so bad about impregnating A WOMAN IN HER TWENTIES—LIKE SERIOUSLY, LET'S PUT THIS IN PERSPECTIVE: SOMEONE THIRTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIM. THIRTEEN. DAMN. YEARS. Why didn’t he just NOT DO IT? Like, as the adult in the relationship, he could’ve genuinely said no. No, this is unacceptable. No. No, sorry. So many years of gender studies and feminist readings for this. SCREW THE NICE GUYS. Like, his whole “woe is me, I’m poor, I’m old, I’m ugly, I’m dangerous” schtick? Well, you should have gone off to Timbuktu then, but don’t get her pregnant only to then abandon her. A TEENAGER HAD TO GO. A TEEN-AGER had to tell him he was being a piece of shit. This is why I say Rowling doesn’t respect her female characters because if she really did, she would have had Tonks dump him and raise the child on her own because, seriously, what was she thinking?

Just talking about this makes me genuinely angry. It's just that Lupin is THAT KIND OF GUY, you know? The one who acts all nice and soft and like he’s never broken a plate in his life, and he’s all poor me, and I’m super nice and super sweet, but then he turns out to be a huge jerk, like a giant piece of work. He’s the textbook nice guy, and one of the worst, the kind who goes after young women. Look, I’m just saying that if Harry Potter were written today and the topic of Lupin came up, and Rowling didn’t condemn him to the stake in her books, she would have been canceled a long time ago. Seriously. There’s no way that in today’s fiction a man nearly 40 years old gets a twenty-something pregnant and threatens to leave her, and that this guy is seen positively by the narrative. Simply no. Canceled. I’m canceling you, Remus Lupin, not for myself, but for feminism. Thanks.

[olympiansowl]

I’m gonna do a thread of why I think that Miriel will live. First, I’m not exactly a Tolkien expert, I still have to finish a lot of his books, but I’m gonna point out why I think killing her isn’t the best choice, not only from the “I love her and she’s my fav” line but from the “it doesn’t make sense to me as audience/reader" line. And, at the end, i will say why I think she will die. I am torn on this topic.

1 - The hints i talked about previously. Galadriel tells Miriel that she doesn't have to choose the path of fear and that she can choose the path of faith. We see that Miriel is really afraid of that faith because her father was forced out of his throne for it and, at the top, because she knows Numenor will be destroyed. She, eventually, makes a choice and we see that she has chosen faith. In the books, we know very little about her, but in the series we are actually seeing how much of an effort she’s making to follow the right path. Another hint, that might not be a hint, is the scene with that wood dolls (I don’t know the name in English, sorry) and Galadriel is saving Miriel from a dark place. Might hint that maybe something different will save Miriel in the end and it also might mean that she actually just accepted the Gods and made the right choice. Another one, that might be my favorite one: the DAMN EAGLES! Really, every single time we saw them in adaptation, it was to save someone. They saved Frodo, Sam, Gandalf, Thorin and his whole company…I know the eagle it’s sign on the scene, it shows that Miriel is the rightful Queen and in the books we see that they also disappear bc of her grandfather and bc of Pharazon, but they’re connected to the Gods, so I’m a little bit hopeful.

2 - THE GODS! Forgive me, guys, but Gods are supposed to be merciful, you know? Specially those Gods! Like, they know who tries and who doesn’t. They send giant birds to coronations and they also made clouds, like eagles but in clouds, appear on the sky to warn Numenor that they weren’t pleasing them. They see everything and not her efforts? Like bitch please there’s no way they don’t see that Miriel has been suffering like Jesus!

3 - Why her death doesn’t make sense to me in the books and why it won’t make sense if she dies like that in the series: she’s a good one. And the really, extremely good ones that I read about didn’t die. Not only that, but like I said, that woman is suffering too much to just die? When we watch a series that a woman suffers too much, she never dies. I can point a lot of female characters that suffered for at least three lives and are still out there surviving the most dangerous and traumatizing things. For me, it didn’t make sense for Tolkien to kill her just for the sake of narrative because her death doesn’t impact other arcs. Numenor was already destroyed, she was not a Queen anymore because she didn’t have a kingdom. I think he just killed her because he didn’t want to go too much into her, because it doesn’t make sense for a man that portrays faith in the way he does, to just kill of a character that has been faithful and tried to do the best for her people. In the series, she’s more explored and we actually see her efforts. She got blinded, usurped, might be forced to marry, will pass through a damn trial with a giant sea monster…all that, and all that fucking magic, and girl can’t be saved? Be fr. The actress said she had to get a license, so Miriel will probably be underwater for a time and I do believe Numenorians have some elvish blood on them, even if it’s little…she has to live.

4 - Now as a viewer. I heard, don’t know if it’s true, that they can change how a character will die, but not if that person will survive or not. Like Saruman. He dies in a different way, but still dies. So, to me, as a viewer and seeing how they’re writing female characters, it would make more sense for Miriel to die in battle. And on the last battle, alongside the others. Miriel seems to be more rational, so I have trouble thinking that she might just die while trying to make everything right. I am not the producers or the writers, so I don’t know how they would write the rest of her arc, but I could only hope to see her with Elendil, building a new kingdom. I also want to know the point of Earien. I love the actress and I know that the character is young but like…she helped usurp a Queen, using her faith against her…the same faith her father has 🤡 and she’s doing all that bc her brother decided to go to war. He could’ve stayed but he wanted to go. Why tf this girl is blaming Miriel?

5 - As a viewer again: yes, for her to die in Numenor and all might make sense bc she fought to save that damn city, but she’s also worried about its people. Like, all the faithful are supposed to leave the island and those are the ones that are faithful not only to the gods, but to her…why would she stay on that damn city? She knows how this story will end.

7 - Why I think she might die: her arc with Elendil. I love them so much it hurts, but I think they’re going to build the “she’s going to make something out of me” kinda o story line. He became her eyes and she will teach him what she knows about being a leader. Lloyd said something like that in an interview and I couldn’t agree more, because she will hear what he sees and he will hear her interpretations. The feelings they have for each other will affect their path and her death will be his ultimate push to be a leader and honor her memory. What I think to be incredibly sad is that she will drown, trying to save her city. And his late wife also drowned while trying to save their son. A parallel, a sad one.

8 - What I hope for: hope is the last one to go. I would like to see her being saved by the eagle and marrying Elendil, or at least building the city with him. It would be amazing.

9 - Make noise on social media if y’all want the magical eagle to save that woman.