#forever going to be mad about the people who got all these for free bc of the lockout bug with pts

[daggerfall]

Not again...

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay no joke if I was Yves I’d be mad as hell too, like you chose this sloppy, forgetful man over HIM??? the same man that literally has your genetic sequence down to the allele by heart?? Knows all of your genetic information so well that it would put 23 and me to shame!! Not only that but like I think there was an ask about how an anon believes that Monty would’ve honestly attached himself to anyone who was just there at the right time meanwhile Yves’ love for his darling is entirely unique and under any circumstances he never feel this way for anyone else. Like UGH with Yves it’s literally all or nothing, if it’s no you, he doesn’t want it. But with Montgomery, if another person showed up he would’ve been acting the same with that person and not you!! Like his love isn’t “unique” I guess in a way.

Ooo I’d be so upset too. I wonder like has he ever at least THOUGHT about trying to do some technological fuckery to end the relationship between his darling and Montgomery? Like perhaps, doctor some text messages, do voice impersonations or create a voice impersonator so that he could make it seem like Monty was cheating on his darling, causing her to run into his arms. It would b EUREKA 💡 as f because he wouldn’t have to kill Monty bc he actually didn’t do it, and she’s no long with him. But RATS he probably wouldn’t want to bring that sort of pain onto his darling especially with the harsh feeling of betrayal, that can mentally scar someone for years, a feeling that Yves probably is quite familiar with :(.

Buttt at the same time we do have instances (such as if the reader was really old or suffering from terminal health issues) where he would lean more towards being selfish as long as you stay with him, so in certain circumstances he is selfish enough to let you go through pain as long as you’re with him. But dang now that I’m typing this, I’m like that’s probably not that good of a comparison, one’s a relationship and the other is your life.

Also he probably wouldn’t want to take away any of his darlings happiness either, but dang like what if it was something more subliminal maybe like you unconsciously hearing subliminal messages telling you to leave Monty and that all you need is Yves because he’s the only one that can make you truly happy Mann I don’t know 😔.

But at the same time I’m ngl!! I can kinda see why some of y’all like Monty. I think it was Chapter 39?? When he busted through the door of the house and essentially mollywhopped everyone. I was like wait,,, why is he kinda,,, I guess like some of the guilt of not being there for the reader coupled with what he heard was just enough to make him snap and go into a rage. And some people are probably more comfortable around someone who’s like Monty as compared to Yves.

But also like really quick! Does Monty have the same level of unconditional love as Yves? Like I think I remember reading somewhere that you could essentially try anything you want and Yves will NOT leave you, like he has permanently cemented himself to your side literally FOREVER like it’s almost cosmic in a way. I wonder if Monty has that same level of patience but in his own way.

Zhats enough of my unintelligible ramblings and questions, your last post really did it 4 me ooo I wanted to bite my phone!! Love your work!!!!!

the other ask in question

Holy fuckin shit anon thank u so much for ur thoughts i would love to hear moar feel free to ramble more in my asks!!1 these are the types of stuff that also keeps me going with my writing

also i got like newest installation where yves interacts with yan older bro

naw YVes wouldnt like paint monty as a cheater because the pain fuckin HURTS man, he would rather be cucked like indefinitely than let you go through the horrors of recovering from such betrayal, plus there is a chance that you get so hurt that you didn't want to be in a relationship anymore or even ASSOCIATED with men anymore, so Yves just shot himself in the foot

He's only selfish when it comes to keeping you with him, so too bad if you are facing horrors of the mind, you are getting revived

Yves is defnitely using the subliminal messages to his advantage. you would probably be all like "ewww" to Monty after the first few days, weeks if you're particularly into sad, dirty men. but true love can really work past that and there really isn't much he could do without devastating you

Oh yeah Monty's love is fr unconditional, if you are abusive to him, he will take it. Altho he would cry in secret, praying to god that you will one day change your ways and stop abusing him, he will never leave even if everyone around him tells him to. He would stay until he's dead or police actually caught you beating him into a pulp, but even then, he would say it was his fault for provoking you -- he would try everything in his power to get you out of trouble.

He isn't like YVes in a sense that he tries to change you, he will just beg pathetically and get fucked over and over without learning his lesson.

If you're dead, he's dead. Simple as. Nothing will get in the way of Monty's quest to be by your side as soon as possible.

thanx 4 reading my stuff anon ur analysis really made my day i love reading yalls thoughts

[priscilla9993]

Whumptober

Going off of @ouatprompts It's finally here and I'm excited, even if I can't do them all bc time ;-;

Day 1: Torture Tuesday - Caged

Freedom Within Reach AO3 Link

Summary: After Robin leaves her behind in the jail cell, Alice despairs a life spent caged, stuck in a rundown tavern's cave basement after a lifetime in a gilded tower. Luckily, she's got more than one hairpin and doesn't easily lose hope with a Troll to defend.

Four walls and no way out. Well, three jagged cave walls and rusty metal bars, but who was keeping track?

“Isn’t this just grand?!” Alice yelled, kicking a rock with all of her might across the sandy dirt floor and watching it bounce towards the darkness. 

Her eyes were puffy and sodden from crying her heart out, face slightly damp and dirty from wiping her tears with sandy and slightly wounded hands. Alice had tried everything. Banging the chains on the cave walls had only cut her hands and caused metallic sparks from her unsteady and desperate aim. Pulling and pushing at the bars, even tugging at the chains, hoping they were old and rotten enough to come apart, made her tired and out of breath. Using rocks to hammer away at anything seemed useless. 

Moving past the latrine bucket, she paced as far as the chains would let her before they became taunt, pulling her back towards the entrance and only exit out of the cell. She sighed.

“UGH! You would think a girl who knows your life story, of spending most of it locked up, would think twice about leaving you behind in a cell. Who does she honestly think she is, caging me twice in one day, leaving me for dead over some stupid legacy and honor?!” Alice frustratingly cried, her qualms echoing in the chamber. She exhaled. “I can’t believe I thought it’d be different this time,” she solemnly reflected, remembering the betrayal of letting her heart trust a pretty sorceress. 

Anyone would have steadily waited out their release, but to Alice, being trapped was a form of psychological torture. The door had swung close, not anymore locked than when the village mob leader had thrown them in due to Robin’s trusty rock hammering to the lock, but she was still bloody trapped. Grown up, free of the moss covered tower, but caged all the same in another place. Sure, the magical barrier that once encased her tower window no longer existed, but in her mind, it played out again. Freedom within reach, but unable to go free. Everyone always able to leave as they wished while she stayed stuck, numbering out her days with supposing.

When she was a kid, it was “Suppose Papa does find a solution to the tower’s magic, then what would I do first?” Alice planned her day out with activities, Killian trying his best to recreate the event inside the circular prison. After the witch’s arrival, it turned to supposing her papa would return or some miracle happening to free her. Recently, her quest had turned from supposing where the cure for the poisoned heart was to wondering if there was a world where people would understand, help the Troll be safe and calm. A twinge of bittersweet welled in her heart as Alice supposed a future with Robin, the first person after her papa to be enamored rather than upset at her peculiarity. However, none of that mattered if there was no future with Alice in it. It was as if fate had decided, she’d be the Girl in the Tower forever, the mad loony needing to be caged rather than a girl deserving of companionship and worldly exploration.   

Alice slumped on the ground, burying her face in her arms. The Troll, the last of her living friends, gentlest of giants, was going to be slain at the hands of the villagers or Robin’s ignorant arrow. And there was nothing she could do about it, caged in a prison again.

“There has to be a way out of here,” she murmured, barely clinging onto hope as she tried to convince herself with the spoken words. 

Alice ran a hand through her locks unconsciously as a self soothing gesture. What should have been an easy pass through her tresses got impeded by something small. “Oh!” She gasped as she pulled out the small obstacle with her fingers. In her hand laid the key to her escape, the same kind of hairpin Robin had grabbed from her earlier with a sleight of hand and unassuming flirting. 

“How could I have forgotten?” Alice asked, amazed, eyes widening as sparks of joy sent energy through her. 

The gears in her brain clicked into place. She jammed the hairpin in multiple ways, losing a few in her attempts, before finally hearing the sweet relief of the chains unlatching as they fell to the ground. Sweat drenched her forehead from the concentration. If anything, Robin made it look easy. Alice ran out of the jail cell basement without a second glance, not wanting to stay there for another second. Although the empty tavern and moonlit night sky indicated that hours had passed since the afternoon, Alice sped towards the forest, certain in her bones where the Troll would be. The mob might have had a head start on the hunt, but Alice wasn’t going to take any chances, not if she could do something to stop it. 

[madsmilfelsen]

hi mads hope you dont mind random advice anons

i think youve mentioned that you dont live where you grew up anymore maybe??

got any advice for making friends as an adult/homebody

from the type of person who could just read and craft alone forever but knows they probably shouldn't

First of all, I never mind and I like getting anons :)))) sorry I didn’t answer this yesterday but I’m gonna bum ya out lmao I moved 50 times before I turned 12 when my mama married a man in the navy and promptly sent us across the country, I’ve never lived where I grew up— always the new kid, I didn’t really socialize correctly to develop the skills to make friends so yeah okay let’s talk about now… ish— I moved to the upper Midwest 11 years ago next month with my husband who I met in Alaska, known stuff, we lived with his parents for a few years because we couldn’t afford to contract our house to built, my husband did it himself (directly behind my in laws, people are always like omg?? like no no no they are my parents they dote on me I love them kids can ride their bikes to grandmas it’s the perfect set up and maintains a thousand mile+ between me and my parents)

So my husband built me a house that I fucking HATE leaving, that I have not left for more than a few days at a time until we went back to Alaska this summer. I have an office with all of beading/writing/school stuff, my favorite snacks, my dogs, I don’t even want to leave my property most days— I get it! Unfortunately to make friends and connections, especially locally, you have to leave the house. I’m not much of a drinker so I don’t got to bars all that often but I did attend my lil community college forever (bc kids) so I mainly made friends with my instructors because I’m a teachers pet for life, but I also tutored and made a few friends to at least chat with in class— otherwise I try to go to our small local events, an open house in the native studies dept. at the university im attending now, women’s night out (first day of hunting seasons and the shops give crazy discounts when our husbands are gone, the only time misogyny ever got me 75% off candles tbh), I went to two beerfests recently (tbh I oozed thc day out of my pores those days or packed rum and cokes, im not vice free here), nature trails, coffee shops, history talks, ballet studio, writing workshops at the library, old movies playing at the historical theater— if there’s something out there that sounds interesting, do it because you’ll likely find someone to strike a conversation up with and that’s all you need— if you happen to have kids the best thing I’ve done is make friends with other moms, especially if our kids get along

When feasible the best alternative is to go and meet the cool friends you made online, those are some of my favorite trips, and ski jumps are coming up so it’s going to be time where I start trying lure people to my very rural neck of the woods to participate in some honest love for physics defying sports day drinking

That being said it took me like ten years to leave my house but I finally have friends with routines in place, I have a weekly breakfast date and monthly girls dinner etc, or a group we can have side by side rides with— but a lot of that goes back to some of these people knowing my husband their entire lives lmao

[torialefay]

First of all, wishing you all the best of luck on your assessment🍀🍀🍀🍀

Second, mad agree with you on the hair post like😊

Third, coming from a lower middle/middle class area, i have never met a single person who was financially "normal" to this area or on the poorer side who would dare throw their electronics like chan has before. Even if they got richer later, old habits die hard, and you learn the value of money. I mean, I've seen people toss or flip their phone softly when bored, but never that hard or with a laptop or something, holy shit. You can tell a lot about someone by their interactions with not only people, but everything. The amount of times i watched an idol and went "🫵rich kid attitude" is kinda funny. And i totally agree with all the asks that came in between you and your mutuals and some anons, skz are all mad hardworking, but i dont think you can or should ignore or cover up the fact that they had the financial help and the resources to learn more and give them an advantage above the rest both personally amx through jype. Its kinda like college acceptance imo. And YES creatively free with many many many restrictions. Not even talking about k-idols, normal musicians have talked about the restrictions and requirements they need to have for their appearcance and the songs they released, i can only imagine being an idol is just exponentially demanding and restrictive. Their real voice is there, but it's smaller than a lot of stay think. Hayley Kiyoko talked about her company (label?) Not wanting her to write anymore songs about girls and Colbie Caillet has a whole song about her frustration that her label wanted her to write more love songs.

*incoherent noises* i could go on forever, but my god, cortana, play "we dont believe whats on tv" by twenty one pilots

And oh my god, i wish fandoms lighten up some. Its okay to not like everything every artist or show or whatever you like comes out with. It may even be healthy to not. When you love someone, youre not gonna let them keep fucking up and then you go "youre doing amazing sweetie", no, you have to tell them that they fucked up so they are aware of their mistakes and get better. Im pretty sure i read somewhere that skz mentioned thats what they prefer anyways. Sure its gonna hurt, especially since so much heart and hope, and hardwork went into it, but if its not good, its okay to admit that and that goes for every relationship ever. And if they dont wanna listen, then, thats on them.

Im really loving all the reality checks on here recently and i havent even ranted on about "i like it" yet lmao

thank you baby!!!! and tbf, i think they could look good in absolutely any hair color or hair style. except i never want to see christopher in another fully-red moment again. his lil red highlights or whatever he had recebtly for the mv were cute, but i'm not here for the full red like leave that man alone 😭

i was talking to one of my moots about this a little bit, so i'm actually glad you brought it up... but idk it's kind of embarrassing(?) idk for me to talk about so please bear with me im queasy lol. i was never some like super spoiled-brat rich kid or anything, but growing up i would say my family was very well-off or privilged maybe? idk it's kind of awkward to talk about bc i don't want people to feel certain ways about me but yeah. i think when you are in that kind of position, it's so easy to not even realize how advantaged you are. like there's that mentality of "oh i'm such a hard worker and that's how i've gotten here" when really, as uncomfortable as it is to admit, you don't *actually* know how far you would've gotten if you'd done it ALL on your own. not relying on anyone else... and not knowing if "just you" is good enough is a veryyyy hard pill to swallow- aka why most people disregard their privilege even being brought into the equation. it's easier to just pretend it doesnt exist. hence, i guess, why we love to think of SKZ coming up from nothing... it's just so easy to fall into that trap. and i feel like even the skz members fall into that trap themselves

unfortunately, that is the biggest drawback of being a kpop idol. in a way, you can't even be your full self anymore. which is sad. like not only do you not have full control of your own music (which is supposed to be your livelihood), but you don't even have control over how you're perceived. i talk a lot ab how i wish i could hang out with the guys behind the scenes, just to see what they're REALLY like... and when you think about it, that's kind of sad. i consume so much SKZ content, but even with all of that, it's very apparent that we don't know how they are when the cameras cut off. everything we see of them is specifically controlled by their team... except for things like bubble ofc and we see what that has revealed to us about chris lol. it's just so sad, but then again, it's exactly what they signed up for. (bonus points to u for the twenty one pilots reference though my god how i love them)

it's definitely not healthy to tell someone that they're amazing and perfect in every way and agreebwith absolutely everything they say. that's not helping anything. there's obviously a lot of stays who felt uncomfortable with the song, but imagine if no one said anything??? like literally everyone was too scared to say it and everyone just went along with it. theyd have a whole new comeback w songs ab not fucking liking you and just wanting to fuck and shit 😭 which like, power to them, but stays would just be playing themselves at that point lol

haven't ranted on "i like it".... YET?!?! oh lord, i'm strapped in and ready 😭😭😭😂

[vacantgodling]

For the Pride asks:

5. & 9. for an OC of your choice

and 20. & 21. for in general <3

this took me forever to answer but we’re here now 👀 let’s do some… tcol generally

5. How did you figure out your oc's identity?

i’ll talk about clear for this but when tcol initially came into being clear and san were supposed to end up together — which in retrospect and hindsight literal just PFFFFF WHAT. terrible. but san’s character was kind of different back then and i hadn’t quite developed the skill of nuanced character personalities and backstory yet. but when i started to write the very old version of tcol (in notebooks) whenever i wrote clear and forte interacting there was just… something there, yknow? the first person that forte talked or laughed around was clear. they naturally hung out and stuck with one another and while i wasn’t quite sure what was going on with forte i felt like something was up with clear

(this isn’t necessarily unique to clear this whole… i notice you gravitating towards a dude because if i take ANY of my older ocs who are dudes: toph, clear and darren specifically, they all started in their initial concepts in relationships with femmes but then i realized that like… yeah no that’s not it).

when i started deciding to take tcol more seriously and started worldbuilding/fleshing shit out, i then realized why clear ran away from home and his sexuality was part of the reason why. there’s something to be said about why i do make this many of my characters struggle with sex and sexuality and it’s because of so. much. xtian upbringing repression. cough. but i ended up realizing that clear liked forte more than just a friend which was enlightening (wow, he’s gay!) but then also created the: oh. there’s kind of a love angle now.

but realistically me growing more comfortable in my own sexuality and attitude towards sex helped me peel back the layers of clear to discover that he’s a gay boy with mad repression and trauma lmao. basically.

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

gender and sexuality are pretty fluid in tcol; there are some bigots who exist or people with slightly idk regressive viewpoints however: two of their deities in tcol are genderqueer (YUTARA, deity of medicine is also androgynous/nb and goes by they/them. they’re also the god of gender expression & MARTH the god of blacksmithing and alchemy is a trans man. got a whole city named after his origin story of becoming a man -> marthveil). the war goddess YLENE and YUTARA have an ages long slow burn going on (YLENE literally has a seared into her skin kiss mark on her body because she wanted to immortalize the time that YUTARA gave her a kiss on the cheek. however they aren’t “together yet” in the traditional sense because YUTARA can’t help but tease YLENE). the second king of lathsbury anele of kairos is a he/she butch and was married in a literal war enemies to lovers rival dawn nightwillow… etc etc. there’s a lot of lore of queerness in tcol basically

20. Have your ocs helped you in self discovery? How?

my preference for writing male characters and finding it easier to relate to them and get into their heads was kind of a big giveaway for me growing up. making a lot of mlm ocs also helped me kinda discover that yeah mood me too. and vice versa; the more i discovered about myself the more i was able to imbue those discoveries into my ocs

21. Free ramble card wee

i haven’t talked much about anele of kairos and dawn nightwillow bc i adore the first age of tcol quite a bit and these two only come around during the end and into the second era but their love story is supremely funny to me. basically the only time terrae had a civil war happened while these two were leaders and in part of the peace treaty they married each other. the funniest parts of their eventual romance is (1) that there was a romance at all bc the two of them were so set on just tolerating each other (2) the god of love MIRANKA was literally born out of their union and if that doesn’t say something idk what will and (3) the reason MIRANKA was born, isn’t bc love didn’t exist in terrae before them it’s because he’s also the god of relationships in general and his oracles act as magic relationship counselors LMAO. so he really was born out of hmm. y’all need relationship therapy and it’s funny to me

real enemies to lovers vibes yknow

[nothanks98765]

I've been recently thinking about the last ask I sent about my upcoming year and it left me both perplexed and excited.

I'm not sure if you're open to a second tarot ask but I wanted to ask about my future career. I always bounce around different ideas in my head for what I want my occupation to be however I don't know where to start my journey and what it will entail. I feel at (the ripe old) age 20 that i'm being super stagnant but I also have the whole world ahead of me. Any advice?

I do have some questions to get to know the person behind the cards better too.

1. What is your dream occupation and why?

2. Which would you rather be a Fairy, mermaid, dragon, or a magical princess?

((don't feel obligated to answer this you can delete it if wanted))

Hello hello darling 💕

thank you for your follow up questions!!

I want to first apologize that this took so long. Thank you for patience 🩷 I love reading tarot and I want to make sure I give readings my full attention so if it takes me a while it’s just bc I am making sure i can be fully present 💫

I absolutely adore follow ups, please feel free to ask / dm questions whenever you like. I am so lucky to have mutuals who have trusted me with giving readings for them over time (for years even!!), i love hearing how situations work out, and i also love building a relationship and being able to go deeper in readings.

I’m going to answer the personal q’s about me first then jump into your reading 🫶 I’d love to share more about myself thank you for asking :)

The person behind the cards:

I absolutely adore tarot. I have a handful of experiences where I got messages from loved ones who have passed. It doesn’t happen often but i had experiences that were undeniable to me, and I pursued ways to better interpret messages from spirit. I’m a forever student at heart and tarot appealed to me based on the density of the theories behind it and the philosophy of the interpretation. I have an amazing mentor and have been doing tarot as a vocation for 5 years now. It makes me feel like I’m honoring the divine when I do tarot and for that reason I will never charge for tarot readings.

Thanks for listening to my little soap box moment 💃🏻💋

1.) My dream occupation: I actually am working my dream job 💫🫶 I am an environmental scientist. i specialize in water quality! I work in oil spill prevention and response. It’s such a great job. I get to do a bit of everything, field work, lab work, emergency response, policy, leadership. Its wonderful. My dream job was always going to be the intersection of environmental science snd public health. I feel so passionately about it. I have family members who grew sick because of pesticides. I grew up where over time a creek i lived by become to polluted to play in. What drew me to this field was everyone in my family knew why we were sick, knew when the kids couldnt play in the water anymore, or couldnt run through the fields. Everyone knew it was poison and pesticides got sprayed anyways. Hazardous waste got dumped into the creek anyways. I love that the work I do works to prevenr major pollution events.

2.) I literally love fantasy shit sm this has me TORN 😫😫😫

okay insane family lore- i’m american, but my family is from ireland. i was raised to believe fairies were real. (and NOT TO FUCK W THEM) the part of ireland my grandma was from had leprechauns and she spoke of them tricking people into curses that lasted generations. I dont remember everything she said, she passed when I was young, i wish i remember more and i wish i learned the irish she tried to teach me, but i do remember faeries scared me, they can’t go to heaven, live underground and have a lot of rules lmao so mad respect to them but i will not dabble in anything fairy related.

Being a mermaid seems sooo different. i’m a land creature. maybe a nympth of some sort i could do. A river nympth. Being underwater all the time sounds freaky so also no ❌

magical princess SEEMS cool but dont princesses have to marry or rule? nahhhhh. Like i WISH- but i dont believe in monarchy so I’d have to be the peoples princess and redistribute the crowns wealth and give the land back to the people and i fear i’d be assassinated by my late fathers most trusted advisor so i will also pass.

dragon is the way to go it seems. I love that I could fly. Hopefully maybe have a lil egg dragon baby. Maybe burn down a army. Sounds good to me.

Okay!!! So you’re reading:

I made a spread for you based on your questions and what you shared about your career. I will dm you a pic if you want to see the imagery of the cards. The placement is as follows: North: Represents you during this time in respect to your career. South: A field you would do well im. West: your talent East: A skill you need to keep developing. I also pulled a card for advice on your career path, but we will get to that in the end.

So- right away you have some heavy hitters coming up in this spread. In the north placement you have the high priestess reversed. You have good instincts, an aptitude for scholarship and research, editing and procedures. Upright there is lots of room for complex situations, balancing competing ideas. In reverse we see you haven’t mastered that balancing act ⚖️You may be wanting things to be more concrete than they are. Tap into your intuition, especially your faith in yourself and your ideas. make room for the complicated. 🕊️

your talent: ten of swords reversed. interesting because i looked back on your previous reading and this card exactly, even reversed, was your good news. we see it again for your talent. So interesting. For this to be your talent is incredible- it shows resiliency. if you get knocked down 9 times you’ll get up 10. you always have your eyes on the horizon, looking for whats next. Your ability to move on from mishaps and failure is going to be key to your success. It seems you wont even entertain the idea of not succeeding- you have the drive to find a way. The fact that this card showed up for you again tells me you are dealing with a situation that is apart of a pattern. use your talents. learn from it and keep going.

The skill you should develop more: 3 of cups.

Your work should be fun! aspire to be inspired. play with it. you are not locked in to any one thing. your goal should be about building that resume- write down everything you learned and make connections! for future references but also as a networking tool- maybe a old coworker can recommend you for your dream job.

The field you would do well in: The Lovers

VERY interesting. a couple things i like to clarify about the lovers: it so often gets reduced to romantic relationships or marriage. it is a blessed or “favorable union” Its ruled by mercury and correlates with gemini. it symbolizes balance between two dichotomies , represented by the feminine and masculine (this exists within ourselves and is not necessarily gender specific)

The field you would do well in involves unifying two parties for a common goal. Community organizing, politics. With mercury i see you doing well in a communication setting. Working with immigrants perhaps, based on the mercury element. The field has to include unifying something. bringing harmony and safety to a situation. It will inevitably have front facing duties and then things you have to do on the back end. balance will be key. but it you will thrive in impactful work.

Advice Card (for career reversed)

Temperance reversed

My question to you based on this card is this: What resources do you have that you aren’t using? Now is the time to take advantage of all advice offered to you, all opportunities. Literally say yes to everything (career specific). You are in a very prosperous spot and time but not utilizing it fully. This card can also show up when there is some extreme behavior throwing the balance off. Dont drink too much, sleep to much, or do too much of a vice, its distracting you from opportunities.

Overall, you sharing your age, you are in such s great spot purely based on your mindset. seriously!!!! work on trusting your gut- find a few likeminded friends so you can push each other. Most importantly- play around snd have fun. Fail, succeed, learn. meet a mentor, learn what you like what you don’t. your instincts are strong snd will guide you. don’t forget to use the tools you have.

Best of luck friend 🎉 You have a bright future 💛

[appl3l0v3r4lif3]

Tw vent

Am I really sick enough???? I think I am but idrk, I feel like absolute shit nearly all the time and I hate my parents but I love them and I feel so bad when I get mad at them because they haven't done a single thing to warrant my rage I just haven't got anywhere else to put it.

This also ties into my rage to my friends, I hate it, there's one girl I don't hate, but I think I just might be in love with her, I'm not sure, but I get angry at mt friends for them being happy and themselves,i don't let them know but I hate them, I hate them so much and I hope they leave me so I can be stress free

I also hate all my classes, and I'll give a list why

English: the topics are boring and I cannot understand how they'll benefit me

Maths: my teachers misogynistic and I can't wrap my head around my fucking times tables let along π or some shit

Music: the teachers annoying and I can't get the hang of any instrument no matter how hard I try

Tech: my teachers a pedophile (sent nudes to minors) and it's boring and reminds me of how shit I am at art

Art: I hate it because I used to love art,I was so happy and joyful and I wanted to be an artist but now I realised I'm horrible at it and quit so all it does is remind me how the only thing I even like I can't do

Spanish: I can't understand it and my teacher screams and screams and screams and is really scary

Pe: I hate the changing rooms because it's the reason I have to overheat twice a week so no one sees my sh scars and also I just hate sports and I'm pretty sure I annoy the few people that hang out with me

Computing: I'm surrounded by people who hate me while my teacher nags is about not copy and pasting information and i hate it

Science: the teacher is annoying and I can't understand it because it's math based

Re: I'm not religious and if anyone I'm not friends with in my school finds out I'll be more ostricised than I already am bc I go to a mainly Muslim catholic school plus it's boring and useless

Pshe: it's just uncomfortable because it's always either talking about our futures (my plan is to kms) our skills (I have none) or sex

Drama: it's just not fun to have to group up with random people and awkwardly perform Infront of your whole class

History: my teacher is so so annoying and I hate the amount of writing I have to do for this and it's just boring and I hate it and it makes me think about how fucked up society has been since the dawn of time and how it's destined to forever be hateful and disgusting because it's in our fucking nature as humans to be the worst most monstrous things possible it links into my hate for re because re also makes me think too hard and realise how we know pretty much nothing in relation to the universe, but what do I know, Im just a suicidal 13 year old girl

[jackienautism]

fire emblem update part three!! i played a BUNCH yesterday and am probably going to finish my first playthrough tonight!! update on character opinions - while my overall ranking of the eagles hasn't changed, i will say that both linhardt and ferdinand have gotten sooo much more special to me post timeskip. similar thing happened with hubert actually, where i like him even more but he's staying in the same spot on my rankings.

DOROTHEA IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL POSTSKIP like. ending the war For Her <333 she and bernie and caspar are still my besties in the whole world. this getting redundant but. i am LOVING bernie postskip. caspar too! i got all of his supports with petra since my last ask and im rotating them in my head they are so interesting to me. actually i had really not gotten too many supports between characters by my last ask and i've been trying to get the ones im most interested in currently and like. i am rotating these guys and their dynamics in my head they are sooo interesting to me. sooo mad bernie and petra don't have an a support </3 i want more of them.

im trying my best to avoid killing any of the former allies. so far i've avoided killing ignatz, let seteth and flayn run away, recruited lysithea, avoided killing hilda, and spared claude. had to kill leonie bc she would not stop killing caspar and bernie no matter what i did. and i killed alois.

little bit sad that i'm missing out on the potential angst this playthrough of having like... only one blue lion kill the rest but. there's always another playthrough! i'm def gonna play all the routes (although honestly i'm gonna have a tough time on the church path.... idk it's one thing to fight edie without being closer to her but it's gonna feel sooo bad to like. directly betray her) but i'm probably gonna replay CF being a little more careful with who i recruit from a story standpoint.

semi related but MAN im LOVING the edelgrid posting im thinking about them soooo hard rn. anyway. on to finish the playthrough! already plotting my next playthrough which is gonna be VW. sort of considering who i want to recruit for that one bc so many of my favorites are in the black eagles so for maximum angst potential i should recruit one or maybe two. but who to pick.... or maybe im lying bc maximum angst would just be killing them all. and then at the same time. what if i just decided to save as many people as possible. what then. minimum angst.

anyway! im going to be thinking about these characters forever now. this game is basically the perfect storm in terms of media that's gonna have me thinking about it for a while (big cast with interesting concepts that could definitely be dug into way deeper, and tons of possible dynamics to think about) so. thank you for your posting about it because i found myself suddenly with an abundance of unscheduled free time and i am. definitely enjoying it now! also side note but i lovee how so many of these characters come with adorable nicknames. i love calling them like. bernie and hubie and edie like yessss those are my besties <333333

YIOPPEEEEE OHHH GOOD FOR YOU GOOD FOR YOU... IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE CLOSE TO FINISHING YOUR FIRST FIRE EMBLEM PLAYTHROUGH EVER HEHE and maybe even by now you may have finished it? but regardless, super happy for you my friend<3 AND RIIIGHT,.. THEY JUST GROW ON YOU POST TIMESKIP... sooo glad the same happened w/ ferdie and hubie for you! next time you check in you def have to submit or create your Official black eagles ranking! id love to see!!!

DOROTHEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD AND FULLL OF ANGST POST TIMESKIP AAAGH YEAH. THATS WHY SHES SO SPECIAL 2 ME.... THE ARC W/ HER DEPRESSION IS JUST.... GOSH. so gladyou're ending the war for her aand only her<333 i support that sentiment 10000% i still have to go through the black eagles supports w/ each other (i enjoy getting them myself... hence why i dont just watch them on youtube or smth. plus i havent played through crimson flower in a looong while) but im SOOO happy youve been enjoying tjhe characters and the dynamics between each of them! fire emblem is especiallly good w/ writing stuff like that. and they def did not fall short in this ggame! so i unfortunately cant comment too much on individual stuff but im glad you like the supports<3 ALL OFD THE CHARACTERS DESERVE A SUPPORTS TBH!!!!!! luckily im pretty sure there are more supports in three hopes so if youre interested for more content you can always loook them up on youtube :o

understand why youd try your best to avoid killing former classmates,def makes it a bit more difficult but ): it's super fucked up, especially in the perspective of the characters. the angst potential is sooo good but sometimes i am Weak of Heart. so im glad to hear that you were able to spare / recruit most of them! rip to leonie and alois though. i defunderstand alois bc wasnt he abt to do some shit during the battle for the monastery? makes sense why youd need / want to get rid of him asap

FDJGDFBG GLAD THAT YOURE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE POTENTIAL ANGST????? did you only recruit sylvain and ingrid this route? or were you able to recruit felix as well? sorry i remember you saying you liked felix but i cant remember if you recruited him or not! but yeah im sure the crimson flower!blue lions is esp....... hard for them. considering that 3 of them were close friends w/ dimitri as children. but thats whats so GOOD about it..... there's so much angst in that alone. ouugh what are your plans for a future crimson flower route regarding the blue lions :o? BUT YEAH. SILVER SNOW (THE CHURCH ROUTE) IS GONNA BE ROUGH LMAO I DONT WANNA GO AGAINST / BETRAY EDIE LET ALONE THE REST OF THE BLACK EAGLES.... its gonna be tough but we'll make it through </3 that is why i am putting it off for as longas possible👍

HEHEH SO GLAD YOUVE ENJOYED ME GOING BATSHIT OVER EDELGARD / INGRID. SOMETHING SPOKE TO ME AND THEY JSUT..... GOD. YEAH. HAPPY YOU UNDERSTAND. fdjndfg i totally understand that want to like. get as painful as possible but for me personally. whille i HATE separating the black eagles from edie. i just cant be without them and kill them in battle i jusr CANT .... so props to you for wanting to do that! i will sauy though theres alreyad enough angst surrounding edie and hubie if you choose to save everyone else in the BE.... it just. it fucked me up, so have fun in VW<3 good luck w./ the rest of crimson flower if you stilll havent finished and verdant wind when you get to it :D!!!!

<3333 SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT MY SILLY POSTING AND MUSINGS GOT YOU TO PLAY AND THEREFORE ENJOY THE GAME!!!!!! MY WORK HERE IS CERTAINLY DONE... also happy that this new piece of media gave you more shit to think about<3 theres def a bunch to think about in terms of three houses man...... AND RIIIGHT THE NICKNAMES ARS SOC UTE..... ADN THEF ACT MOST OF THEM CAME FROM DOROTHEA ALONE MAKES ME SO ........ GOD . GIOD.

[th9ma]

GENSHIN BOYS AS YOUR EX THAT STILL HAS FEELINGS

feat. zhongli, kaeya, diluc, childe, albedo, xiao

contains: gender neutral, modern au, fluff, (mildly) suggestive, small possessiveness, mentions of violence once, these are not to be taken seriously thank you <3 (rbs are appreciated)

note: resposting this bc tumblr fucked up my shit (if u saw this 40 mins ago no u didnt)

childe: the ‘gimme one more chance’ ex that fucking ruins your life — dating life, to be exact. he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he wants you back, it’s just painfully obvious. it’s difficult trying to date after — mostly because people refer to you and know you as ‘childe’s s/o’ despite being broken up. but he loves to make it known that you two used to date, he’s so proud about it too come get this man. always one of the first people to comment when you post on instagram and swipes up on your stories to complement you. it’s a little embarrassing sometimes but you can’t stay mad at him, it’s his way of looking out for you — you just wish he’d do it in a more subtle fashion. when you start talking to him again as friends, you tell him about dates and people you’re going out with. and what a coincidence that he also happens to show up? not in a creepy way though, he comes to check up on you with some friends! if it seems to be going well, he’ll swallow his pride and get the hell out. but when you get stood up at this restaurant he’s already swooping in to save the day, swiftly pressing a soft kiss to your temple and muttering a quick apology before taking a seat. he swears he can die the happiest man alive seeing the smile on your face — mission accomplished!

diluc: the 'awkward/formal' ex — it's not that he has a grudge against you, he just doesn't know how to act! you're on pretty good terms, saying hellos to one another and asking about your day. your breakup is pretty painful — you're on the market and talking to other people and he can't help thinking 'that used to be me'. but even despite all of this, he keeps his distance because 'he's a gentleman, and you're no longer together'. truthfully, he uses that as an excuse to stop himself from knocking out the person asking if you're free for a date sometime soon. the temptation is there, but it's not like he would actually do it. you have your boundaries, and diluc respects them more than anyone! that being said, he's so used to your relationship that he feels a bit lost without you, so he subtly checks up on you whenever he can. of course, he's so awkward to do this, so instead he sends the next best thing — kaeya! kaeya's quick with cozying up to you, asking how you are and what you've been up to, who you're talking to and the main topic — about diluc. it definitely comes as a shock to him to hear kaeya say that you missed him. what did you mean by that? yes, diluc can be formal, but when he wants something? he goes full speed ahead. it's like he's a new person, meeting you and saying that he can take you out to the amusement park you told kaeya about before actually realizing his words — and when he does, he starts cutely stammering out apologies. but it must be his lucky day, because you're already wrapping yourself around his arm with a dopey smile, saying a quick "mkay!".

kaeya: the emotionally confusing ex. he’ll randomly come back into your life with a short and simple ‘i miss you’ text that has you overthinking for the rest of the day. sure, you’ve seen him around in public or through mutual friends like civil people, but it’s been forever since you’ve talked one on one. if you’re able to push aside the butterflies pooling in your stomach and reply, he’ll take that as his chance to slide back in. teases and flirts with you the same way he used to when you first got together but then completely acts as if nothing happened when you react; it’s so confusing! does he want you or not? you can barely function when he asks you to hook up with him one more time — and with the way that he’s been buttering you up and reminding you of your shared moments, how can you refuse? of course, one hook up turns into another, and another, until you’re full on fuck buddies/a little more than friends with benefits — thats when everyone knows that you’re off the dating market. accidentally lets an “i love you’ slip out mid hook up between the two of you. but leave it to kaeya to take your breath away by laughing right after, saying “wasn’t it obvious?”.

zhongli: the ex that you’re always running into. it’s not like he plans your ‘random’ meetups (although it would make sense if you thought so), he just doesn’t know what else to do. when you used to date, your days spent together were so predictable that they basically became a routine. and now, that routine is a habit! sometimes when you do muster up the courage to talk to him, he finds himself thinking about he shared memories you had at said locations. truth be told, it only makes him fall more in love. okay, at first, your run ins were purely coincidental. but after seeing your eyes light up after noticing a familiar face? his appearances are more frequent. he almost subconsciously finds himself wandering into your favourite hole in the wall bookshop — stopping at the aisle full of your favourite genre of books, skimming through spines to see which ones you’d like the most. and if you’re not a fan of bookstores? clothes, records & games are on the list too! he buys you all of it, because he thinks it’s what you’d like (it usually is). and when you storm into the local cafe for your favourite drink after having a shit day, there he is waiting with multiple bags in hand. you’re not sure if his broken sense of money management is a blessing or curse, because he’s brought you mountains of gifts, but the tab for the suggested date is for sure on you.

xiao: the ex that acts like you don’t exist. you see him in public and make eye contact? walks past you like nothing had ever happened. he’s so unbothered that it’s scary — even when you two broke up, he was up and out as if it wasn’t even his business. he doesn’t go out of his way to block you, so it’s natural to assume that he just doesn’t care; it’s not like you’re his concern anyway. always asks “who?” when your name is brought up, ouch! but little do you know that you’re literally running laps in his mind all day everyday; this is just his response because he’s never dealt with this. ever. to say the least, it’s a big shock when he pulls up to your door nearly drenched from the rain outside with one of your missing pieces of clothing in hand because he ‘randomly found it lying around his place’ — not true! he’s spent all this time debating what to do with it because he couldn’t bring himself to throw it away! he expects that you’d take it from his hands and leave him outside — silly xiao! you’re definitely not going to leave him to catch a horrid cold. instead you open the door further and invite him in, telling him to take a shower while you make some tofu for him. he definitely doesn’t miss how you ask if he still knows his way around — like he’d ever forget.

albedo: the half-ex. you see, you’re broken up — but his family adores you. especially little klee, she’s always looked up to you. and it came as a shock that she was more hurt about your breakup than albedo despite being told that you were still on civil/good terms. truthfully? he misses you; misses the smile on his face whenever you’d agree to be the subject for his paintings that now hung proudly in the halls that you once danced along — it was heaven. of course, he’d never admit this to you, but he would to his little sister. it’s not like she’d understand anyway. he falters when you show up at his doorstep wearing that sweet smile; too bad it’s for the little munchkin running past him and into your open arms. she asks you to play and hang out with her, but really she can’t stand seeing her brother in peril, so she takes it upon herself to fix it. albedo can’t take his eyes off you awhile you play dolls with klee. he swears she’s smarter than she seems when she takes her two dolls in wedding apparel and says it’s you and ‘bedo because “(name) and albedo should be married but they’re both acting like dummies!” and with that, she runs out of the room and leaves you two to talk. god bless klee.

[eloves-writes]

Don't know if this is a dumb idea, feel free to ignore it if this isn't the type of thing you write

The reader and Spencer are married and both work at the BAU and they have a 4 year old son. And unfortunately their sitter canceled so they had to bring him at the office, which was possible cause it was paper work day

a/n : not dumb at all! this is super cute, i’m personally not great with kids so this might not be my best writing ever but i really hope you still enjoy! i used the season 7 team bc they’re my personal faves but i’d imagine it as more season 14/15 spencer :)

baby genius at work

——————————

stupid job. stupid criminals committing crimes on a sunday evening. stupid police in tampa needing the bau’s help on said sunday evening when they definitely could solve it themselves. at least you didn’t have to go to florida, they just needed an over-the-phone consult but still- it was generally inconvenient to get called into work with no notice and a 4 year old at home. you could get some paperwork done before monday though, if that was a plus.

“spence?” you called from the kitchen, quickly trying to pack your son’s overnight bag. you hoped that a sitter would pull through and he could stay the night somewhere that wasn’t your office- a specialist unit for profiling serial killers, rapists, and pedophiles wasn’t an ideal babysitters club. “did the sitter call you back?”

your husband entered the room followed by your son, theo. they were both smiling mischievously like they’d been doing something you’d disapprove of in the next room. they probably were.

“yeah,” spencer said, running a hand through his overgrown, messy hair. “can’t make it, too late notice.”

theo ran around your feet with far too much energy for a small boy at 8pm, his hair just as messy and unkempt as his father’s. you sighed irritably, throwing the dinosaur backpack over your shoulder along with your own work bag.

“did you try jj? maybe will could watch theo, he’d love to see henry and micheal.” you ruffled the boy’s hair as he jumped up and down, trying to calm him.

“will’s on duty, they have a sitter.”

“crap. i mean, shoot. erm, we’ll just have to take him to work,” you sighed, searching the kitchen counter for your phone you’d somehow misplaced in the last 15 minutes.

“what?” spencer exclaimed nervously. “we can’t take our son to work, he’s four! what about all the files? what about-”

“i’m going to work with mommy and daddy!” theo shouted happily. you gave your husband an amused but sympathetic look. his eyes told you he’d given in.

“garcia can watch him. she never does any work anyway and he’ll fall asleep in an hour, it’s fine- we just need to get going or we’ll be even later than we already are.” before you could even comment on the still-missing phone, you saw theo was playing with it and took it back before loading him into the car with his overnight back and blanket; you had no idea if you’d be back home tonight.

soon enough you made it to quantico, and despite all hopes looking good that your son had fallen asleep, his sixth sense of impending excitement woke him up as you pulled in to the parking lot. spencer held his hand to walk him inside and you handled the bags. garcia was walking along the corridor as the elevator reached the bau floor and squealed at the sight of your son.

“oh my goodness! it’s the baby genius! to what do i owe this pleasure?” she smiled, theo running into her arms. you heard a faint “auntie penelope!”- garcia absolutely adored all the team’s children to the ends of the earth and back.

“can i babysit? can i watch him? please, because you're my favourite genius lovebirds in the whole world?” garcia asked excitedly, wrapping her arms around him. you laughed and nodded.

“he is all yours, pen. let me know if he starts getting tired,” you changed you focus to theo. “behave yourself for auntie penelope.”

she smiled happily, leading him towards the bat cave to let you and spencer focus on the case. theo liked the bat cave, all penelope’s little things on her desk and all the screens and things to play with. he was unlike his father in that way; spencer didn't like computers and avoided the sort of well-meaning chaos of garcia’s desk, but theo was like him in other ways- he adored reading, and had sounded like a walking thesaurus since the day he learned to speak. the funniness he obviously got from you, but the hair was unquestionably inherited from your husband too. spencer placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you into the bullpen to your desk where emily gave you a friendly smile and carried on with her paperwork; you could tell it was really not an exhilarating case because everyone looked tired. you suspected they’d cheer up if they knew theo was here, but you wanted to get some actual work done before they all wanted to be his favourite aunt or uncle.

you did all get a few reports finished and a short consult on the case before garcia came back into the bullpen with a sleepy theo about an hour later, the team all turning their heads and suddenly looking less tired and bored.

“you didn’t tell us baby genius was joining the team tonight!” jj said, getting up from her desk to hug him. she was closely followed by emily and morgan, the latter of which was convinced he was the superior god-parent to jj. garcia was still mad you didn’t choose her, but she definitely loved him just as much.

spencer stood beside you and placed his hand on your waist, the way he always liked to stand. “we weren’t planning on it,” you yawned. “sitter cancelled.”

“i’m wayyy more fun than a sitter,” garcia promised. you were quite sure she was.

the team all stood around fussing over theo, who was more than happy with the attention but looked like he’d fall asleep the moment it stopped. you took a second to appreciate the way the team loved your’s and spencer’s son; the job took absolutely everything out of them except their endless love for each other and their families. it showed you the ugliest people with the ugliest lives, but they still chose to prioritise the purity and innocence of a child. they had so, so much love to give and wisdom to share- when you and spencer decided to bring a baby into the world, you knew they would be raised by the best family that could be. every member of the team was part of that family, just the way you wanted it to be forever and ever.

[imasimpforshanks]

Heyyyyyy hiiiiii hope your having an awesome day drinking that water getting hydrated 😗. I was wondering if you could do a Law Angst alphabet please. But only if you feel up to it and have time. If you don’t feel free to ignore or do it later here now have a cookie 🍪 because your awesome 😊

Angst Alphabet - Trafalgar Law

a/n: HI HI!!! thank you for your kind words!! I hope you are looking after yourself <333 here is the law angst! Please enjoy 🥰

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

He would only blame himself if any of his actions led to the accident that caused your death (we’ve seen him blame himself for that very reason about Rosinantes death). If his actions weren’t directly correlated to your death in any way then he would not blame himself, though he would kick himself for not being able to help you in time. Other than that, Law is painfully aware of the harsh reality that is life.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

Law would break up with you in a seemingly emotionless way. He’d mask his true feelings, while telling you a whole bunch of excuses why the two of you could no longer be together. He doesn’t believe any of them, but he’s got to do what he’s got to do.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

I feel like I’ve used this one in a few other character alphabets but it really applies to Law too. He would cause you to stress and panic so much over his health and wellbeing. He’s a literal doctor. He should know to take better care of himself, but he just doesn’t seem to care about himself the same way you do. So it isn’t until you’re crying in front of him, spilling your heart out about how concerned you are for his safety that he realizes his health is important to more than just himself.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

My god, if Law was to lose another person that he loved, he literally would never want to let himself get close to anyone ever again. Your death would be it for Law. He’d basically be on the verge of giving up himself. What other reason does he have to go on.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

He tries to hide every emotion. Law doesn’t like to be too open, out of fear of people using it against him or it simply being too much of a sign of weakness. So, very rarely does he let his emotions show. He also tries to divert attention away from himself in hopes that people won’t focus on him or his emotions for too long.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

This was covered in his fluff alphabet! But here it is again:

Your fights tend to be pretty short lived resulting in forgiveness and apologies from both sides relatively quickly. He really doesn’t like to stay mad at you for too long – he’d much rather have you two on the same page.

Most fights are caused by stress and concerns of health and safety, so Law does a lot of eye rolling and using his title as a ‘doctor’ as justification that he knows what he’s doing so you just need to chill – but like I said these fights are very short lived.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

Law will never forgive himself for Rosinantes death. He will forever feel responsible for his death – it was all his fault. If only he hadn’t given that note to Vergo, then Rosinante would still be alive. He died because of Law’s incompetence (at least that’s what he tells himself).

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Law would act pretty normal. He wouldn’t behave any differently until he’s left alone. Only then would he let himself go and truly feel that heartbreak.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Thanks to the doctor in him, Law is able to remain calm. He can keep his composure until he administers whatever treatment necessary. That’s not to say he isn’t worried though. He’s just capable of focusing on the injury right in front of him.

Only once he is certain that you are stable does he (or potentially his crew) go and hunt down the cause of your beating.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When Law does get jealous (which is rarely), he gets quiet. His fists clench a little more, and his frown deepens. He also speaks less than usual (which is already pretty hard to beat). He only gives you short snippy replies until he eventually gets over it.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Law would kill for revenge, yes. He literally wanted to kill Doflamingo as revenge for Rosinante. However, it was in Law’s plan that Kaido would be the one to kill Doflamingo (after they fought) – so I believe that is how he’d kill for revenge as well. He would devise a fool proof plan (okay maybe not fool proof, bc if the straw hats are involved who knows what could go wrong).

In short, yes. Law would kill for revenge.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

This poor man has suffered so much loss in his life that it’s actually really difficult to choose which would be his greatest loss. He lost his entire family as a young boy while also having a shortened lifespan himself. Losing his family, and the realization that he only had a few more years to live, really made him lose his will to live a good remainder of his life. Young Law literally became a pirate.

However, he did meet Rosinante (Corazon) and he gave him another reason to live. Furthermore, Rosinante actively sought out a cure for Law so that he could continue to live a long life. Basically, Rosinante became a father figure/older brother to Law. So, losing him – another ¬person he loved so dearly – would have been beyond devastating.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

There was one day where he spent the entire day ignoring you. It was completely unintentional. His mind was swarming with plans and all this other information that has just come in. He got so immersed in it that he didn’t talk to you or tell you what was going on for a whole day.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

Nightmares are one of the many reasons Law hardly ever sleeps. He’s haunted by his family’s and Rosinantes deaths. His nightmares get particularly bad around the same time each year (that is, around the time of year that they died). He wakes up trembling and on the verge of tears (but he never lets them fall). Instead of even trying to go back to sleep, he’ll make himself a nice hot cup of coffee and immerse himself in a book or work of some kind – anything to avoid going back to sleep and risking a re-run of that horrible nightmare.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

Sometimes his exhaustion catches up to him and other times its all the stress building up that finally he snaps and all the emotions are too overwhelming that he just directs it to the nearest outlet, which just so happens to be you.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

You walked in on him absolutely breaking down over Rosinante. One evening Law retreated to his room while you and the rest of the crew were eating and drinking. He didn’t think you had noticed him leave, but soon you were following after him. You opened the door and found him breaking down in the middle of the room. You completely forgot that it was the anniversary of Rosinantes death. It was the first time you had seen him this distraught and it broke your heart.

It really cemented into your brain that no matter how tough he may look, he still suffers (probably more so than anyone). But, you were also grateful that you were able to see him like that, as it allowed him to start relying on you a little more.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His inability to openly express his emotions. Sure, now he will share with you how he is feeling, but that is with you and ONLY you. He still insists on keeping everything else bottle away from the rest of the world which is a really unhealthy way to deal with things. It’s not that you dislike being there for him, in fact, you appreciate how trusting he is with you. It’s just, what if there comes a time where you aren’t around and he’s in desperate need of someone to confide in?

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around)).

Law would wait until he was 100% certain you returned his feelings to confess to you. So, if you were to reject his confession he would be really confused for a while. He’d let it go because well, everyone has their own reasons – its not his place to tell you how you feel. All he can do is tell you how he feels and then the rest is up to you.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

He has no self-inflicted scars, and to my knowledge he has no battle scars either. But, his arm did get cut off and then reattached during the Dressrosa arc, so it actually is likely that there is a remaining scar from that (although I’m not certain).

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

Nope not at all. In fact, the only instance in which he would possibly break your trust, or lie to you, about is when he went to Punk Hazard and sent his crew to Zou. Some would assume that he wouldn’t tell you his plan out of fear of your safety, but that’s not true. He had to tell you. You taught him to be open and honest, and to trust. So that’s exactly what he did.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

Law has gotten so comfortable around you that whenever you aren’t there, he gets unbearably anxious. Your presence is soothing, even if he can’t see you, even if he can only hear your voice echoing throughout the Polar Tang, it’s enough to put his mind at ease. So, if you are separated for a while… oh boy does he want to see you badly.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

He tends to yell at you. He tells you to “piss off” and that “you’re only being a nuisance right now”, despite you only wanting to help him.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Not being able to control things makes Law feel really weak. Weak may not be the right word, but it definitely makes him feel unprepared. He doesn’t like when things are out of his control and he can’t account for things. Which is usually why he always does extensive research and preparation before constructing a well thought out plan.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

Well, I mean other than his obvious hatred of bread, Law also really hates when he works extremely hard on formulating a plan only for it to be completely thrown out of the window by a reckless straw hat wearing captain and his entire crew. (and somehow everything still ends up working out!!! That is the part that frustrates Law the most HAHAH).

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

One of the only things he’s ever really wanted was for Doflamingo to be taken down. He’s been partially successful in that sense, seeing as Doflamingo is in prison now. However, he wants more than that. He wants Doflamingo to suffer the same way he has.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

It may seem a little out of character but… I believe Law would be borderline desperate/inconsolable. There would be a lot of clinging on to you, begging you not to leave him like everyone else he’s ever loved. He can’t handle another person leaving him, it’s too much. It’s far too much.

He wouldn’t cry (just yet), but his voice would tremble, and his hands would be shaking. His mind would be racing with all sorts of theories and possible ways he could save you. How could he possibly prevent the inevitable?

[awindylife-writes]

Voyage of the Damned Part 3

Relationships: the Doctor x reader, Astrid x reader (platonic), Astrid x Doctor (platonic)

Summary: Voyage of the Damned rewrite. The Doctor and you find yourselves on the Titanic, space edition. You meet Astrid and get ready for a wonderful day, but then a meteor shower hits the ship and it starts falling towards Earth.

Author's notes: There was a number of things l didn't like about this Christmas special so again, l rewrote it.

Warnings: a ship crashes, multiple mentions of dearth bc a lot of people die, Astrid dies

"It's for the Doctor!" Astrid yelled at Midshipman Frame over the comms. She needed to teleport NOW. "Y/n and him are down on deck thirty-one, alone, against all the Host and Gods know what else and they're doing it for us!" Silence on the other end. "It's time we did something for them," she ended her speech with a finallity.

A moment passed and she feared she'd failed.

But then, "Giving you power," came through the comms.

~

"Only one person could have the power and the money to hide themselves on board like that. And l should know, 'cause..." the Doctor trailed off. You stared at the strange compartment you had found on deck thirty-one.

"My name is Max," a voice finished for him. A strange machine with a head in it came through the smoke.

"Who the hell are you?" it demaned.

"I'm y/n, and this is the Doctor," you pointed at your friend with false cheerfulness, "Hello!" you wiggled your fingers in greeting.

~

"You wreck the ship and the board find their shares halved in value." The Doctor was spelling out Capricorn's plan.

"But that's not enough," you interjected. From what you've learned about them, mad billionares who were losing all their money didn't do things half-way.

"Oh yes,"  the Doctor went on. "'Cause if a Max Capricorn ship hits the Earth, it destroys an entire planet. Outrage back home!" he growled. "Scandal! The buisness is wiped out!"

The billionare's head nodded. "And? The whole board is thrown in jail, for mass murder!" His eyes shone with revenge.

"While you sit here, safe in the- what's it called?" you turned to the Doctor.

"Impact camber," he filled in.

"I have men," Capricorn gloated now, "waiting to retreave me from the ruins. And enough off-world accounts to retire me to the beaches of Enhaxico Two where the ladies, so l'm told, are very fond of... metal."

You were going to puke.

"So that's the plan," the Doctor growled in rage. "A retirement plan. Two thousand people on this ship, six billion underneath us, all of them slaughtered and why? Because Max Capricorn is a loser."

"I never lose," the billionare's head scowled in threat and your voice immediately rang out, mocking, "You can't even sink the Titanic!"

"Oh but l can, pretty girl!" he laughed. "I can cancel the engines, from here!" Red lights and alarms were suddenly flaring everywhere before you could spit in his face.

The Doctor yelled behind you, "You can't do this!"

"Host, hold them!" Caprocorn ordered in turn and began the Gloat 2.0. "Not so clever now, are you? Shame we couldn't work together, you two are rather good. All that banter and yet not a word wasted." The head sighed. "Time for me to... retire."

Ugh, you thought as you furiously tried to get free. That pun alone would be enough to kill a buisness.

"The Titanic is falling, the sky will burn, let the Christmas inferno commence!" Capricorn yelled in victory and called his minions. "Kill them!"

The robots brought up their halos and went for the Doctor's neck.

"NO!" You fought with everything you had but you were late, you'd be too late!

"MISTER CAPRICORN!" a voice you knew cut through your fear.

And it ignited terror. It was Astrid, sitting in a forklift. "I resign," she told the head and drove forward, ful throttle.

"NO!" the Doctor and you screamed, "ASTRID STOP!" "ASTRID DON'T!"

She didn't listen and rammed into the life support system, but its engine was too strong. They were equal and couldn't move each other.

You bit, kicked and screamed, anything to get free.

But then she caught your eyes with hers and everything stopped. There was an eternity in her face. She looked at the Doctor too but you still stared at her.

Then she turned away and stepped on it. The life support lifted and she drove on.

There was no sound. The world was mute as you watched Astrid go over.

You were suddenly at the edge, looking at her disappear into the fire. Someone was screaming. Someone was screaming and you wanted to calm them, help them.

Then you realized it was your own voice.

The world came back into focus. The ship was falling apart and the Doctor was silent at your side. He was staring at the spot where Astrid had disappeared. His face was pale and his eyes blank. You laid your tears aside and took his hand.

"We need to go," you told him, your voice wet with tears. He didn't move.

"Doctor, we need to go,"  you told him again calmly. You thought that was why he looked at you suddenly, and then stood up.

He rewired a Host with lightning speed. It took you each under one arm and off you went.

When you broke through the ceiling of the bridge, you were still in one piece. Arms you had used to shield your head were a bit bloody and you were sure there were at least two splinters in them. You don't look the gift horse in the mouth, even though you would prefer a different Christmas miracle.

"What's your first name?" the Doctor asked the injured Midshipman Frame.

He answered in confusion, "Alonzo."

"You're kidding," the Doctor breathed as a shocked smile spread on his face. You didn't know. You just didn't know anymore. You were drowing in the emptiness inside you but his name was Alonzo.

"Allons-y, Alonzo!" the Doctor yelled and you held on tight. You didn't scream. You didn't even open your mouth. There was nothing anymore.

The Doctor whoohooed when he managed to right the course of the ship and you were just there. Were you there? Astrid wasn't. And that was what mattered in the end.

~

"TELEPORT!" the Doctor yelled and it didn't matter. "Y/N, SHE WAS WEARING A TELEPORT BRACELET!!!"

That woke you up. You ran faster than ever before, to the main deck where the teleport was.

"Brixton, sonic," the Doctor demanded from the billionare and caught it as it was thrown. "Mister Copper, the teleports, have they got an emergency setting??"

"I don't know, they should have?"

"She fell, Mister Copper, she fell!" the Doctor told him while pulling apart the machine like a madman. "What's the emergency code?"

The billionare interjected, "What the hell are you doing?"

"We can bring her back!" you yelled with everything in you.

The historian explained, "If a passenger has an accident on shore leave, their molecules are automatically suspended so they're in stasis, so if you just trigger the shift..."

"THERE!!!" the Doctor screamed and flicked the switch.

And there was your Astrid.

"Falling..." You could hear her voice!

"Only halfway there, come on!" The Doctor wasn't finished with the teleporter.

"I keep falling!" She was scared. Your friend was scared and you wanted nothing but to calm her. You carefully walked up to her and took hold of her hand. It felt like holding warm smoke.

There were tears on your cheeks already, again.

"If l can find the molecule grid, boost the restoration matrix and-" The computer snapped and threw sparks. "NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!!" the Doctor screamed in desparation, "need more phase containment-"

You sobbed, but you knew what was coming. You just looked at your Astrid Pith, into her crystal blue eyes and sushed her. "Hey, hey Astrid, it's alright. It's me, it's y/n, remember? You're alright. l've got you," you promised with a voice as soft as sunlight.

She didn't look as scared as before. Then, so slowly you thought you were imagining it, she looked at you.

"Let her go," you could hear the historian and you sobbed again.

But then Astrid's voice cut through. "Stop me falling?" she asked and you nodded. You found her gaze with yours and promised her, "Anything."

"She's just atoms," you heard Mister Copper from behind you. "An echo with a ghost of consciousness."

"She's stardust," you concluded as your voice broke. "You hear that Astrid?" you asked, still looking into her blue eyes."You're stardust."

She didn't seem to hear, so you did the only thing you could think of.

"There's an old tradition," you told her and softly kissed her cheek. Then you kissed the other, and then her forehead.

"You dreamt of traveling," the Doctor came to stand beside you. You were still sobbing when you pulled away from her and you didn't try to stop. There was no one there you needed to save face for.

"Now you can travel forever," you told her. You knew what the Doctor would do, and your eyes didn't leave hers for a moment.

You heard him soothe her, "You're not falling Astrid."

"You're flying," you both said in one voice.

You watched as she floated away, through the window into the universe.

Then you turned to the Doctor and buried your face in his chest as you both cried.

~

"I transferred all my shares to Max Capricorn's rivals. It's made me rich," the billionare Brixton admitted, disbelieving.

You were empty, and you were tired. That was the only reason why you didn't tear this man limb from limb. Astrid was dead.

"Mister Copper," the Doctor's voice woke you up. "I think, you deserve one of these."

You turned around and saw him holding a teleport bracelet out to the historian. Then, after the latter took it, he slipped one on your wrist. He took your hand and suddenly you were standing in the snow.

~

"But l can have a house, and a garden and-" You couldn't help but smile a little. At least Mister Copper would be alright.

The Doctor yelled after him, "Where are you going?"

"I have no idea!" the man replied in joy.

"Well, we don't either," your alien smiled gently at you and you tried to smile back, you really did. He looked at you, his brown eyes full of sorrow, and pulled you to him. You held onto him tightly as he hugged you.

"But! Y/N!" the historian yelled and you turned in his direction.

"I won't forget her," he promised you. You were tired, so so tired, so you just nodded. "Thank you," you told Mister Copper for her. "We won't either."

"We won't," the Doctor assured you softly, just to be sure.

Then he opened the TARDIS door and stepped into your home after you. You walked up the way and then stood in front of the controls, lost.

The Doctor walked up behind you and decided he would do anything, anything to keep away the blank look in your eyes. He turned to you and pulled you to him again. You let him, your movements sluggish and dazed.

"I've got you," he assured you. "I've got you, y/n. You aren't alone, and you aren't lost. You've got me." And that was enough. You sobbed into his chest, you didn't know for which time today.

But this was different. This was yours, and you clung to the Doctor as everything in you came to the surface.

His tears joined yours. He'd lost Astrid too, and he hated seeing you in pain. He slowly brought both of you down to kneel when you were too tired to stand.

And that was it. That was what you needed and that was what you had. You would be alright. In time, you would be alright.

[moonsdancer]

I'm completely baffled how a fandom always latches on the resident soft emo boy of a franchise/show. Like c'mon! Next to the mentioned emo boi you've got a beautiful, well-written woman and a himbo with a heart of gold and who does the fandom choose to pair up with each other and obsess over? It's all fine and good honestly and everyone can consume media however they want but in the case of Arcane, those tendencies do get rather transparent! I appreciate the hell out of you spreading MelJayce love on my dash and hope that season 2 will give us even more thirsty moments between those two! Mad respect for you doing the lord's work, king! Love hearing your thoughts and AU ideas :)

hey anon. don't be baffled, i think this show is full of very shippable characters, and we sort of know how fandom 'taste' tends to go with latching onto certain characters, so i wasn't really surprised or baffled to see how dominant vikjay is (i think they're cute, have a tangible dynamic, and they also had fans from the lore, so there's that). it is what it is.

and, like you, i genuinely think people should just love and ship whatever calls to them. like shipping is so irrational, embrace that irrationality and live your life. and do not try to justify your ship ~preference~ by framing it as a somehow ~morally superior~ or ~just~ choice bc the usurping evil woman in the equation is ... well... supposedly evil. or re-write actual textual canon to support your ship and then downplay if not erase another ship's textual canon when it's convenient, which i see a lot of in this fandom, etc. etc.

but i will remain forever bitter about the legit campaign that certain shippers / folks went on to not only absolutely shit on and minimize meljay but mel as well. from the jump. and that was really deliberate and we're still dealing with the messed up narratives, erasures and "head canons" that were set up in the early days of fandom, and i don't think we'll ever really be free of them... maybe if mel dies like a lot of folks want her to. (because then we'll be treated to the retroactive fandom collective amnesiac ~mourning bonanza~ where everyone who hated her and her association with jayce will pretend that they luvved her all along, and beat their chests at the show's writers for killing her off. i still rmr my blessedly brief time in the spn fandom, we know how this plays out, lmao).

anyway, thank you. mel and this pairing in particular have inspired me in ways that i haven't been for fandom in a long time. especially fanfic bc i went over a year really struggling to even write a sentence for anything fandom related. so i'm thankful for that, and hope that i can keep contributing with fan works where possible. also there's fun to be had with small / rarepair ships bc the community for them tends to be really safe, enjoyable and supportive, and that's a cool thing, too.

i've decided to serve some 'cup half full' realness this week, apparently. let's see how long it lasts.

[chokemeanakin]

Hi my name’s Maeve! 😇 I write for Anakin and a tiny bit of Obi. 

My inbox is closed! 

Feel free to send me any thoughts you have, but if you send a fic request I can’t promise that I’ll get to it anytime soon. I still love to see your ideas though! 

(ps check out my ongoing fic Give Me Love) 

First Kiss - Anakin treats reader to their first kiss

Drunk - Reader comes home from a party wasted, and Anakin is there to witness it… and maybe make out with…

Anakin Cuddling Hc’s - What it’s like to cuddle with the Best Boy

Anakin with giggly reader Hc’s and Anakin x Jealous/Insecure reader - first half is hc for a giggly reader and second half is a fic where reader gets jealous and insecure and Anakin comforts them

Anakin x Short/Shy/Insecure Reader Hc’s - Just some headcanons of a soft boy

Loving On You - Slight Anakin angst, basically you hold him after a crappy mission

Be My Forever - Anakin proposes with as little words as possible

Anakin Teaches You How To Drive Hc’s- nice car go zoom 🚗💨

Anakin With a Pregnant Reader Hc’s- use protection kids

Anakin x Touch Starved Reader Hc’s - definitely not self indulgent

Touch Starved Anakin x Reader Hc’s - this was actually rlly cute

Playing with his hair imagine - i know i write about this a lot but cmon

Anakin Comforting Reader Hc’s - cue the uwu’s

Distraction - Anakin distracts reader as they study

Walking with Anakin as he does General stuff- small blurb

Domestic Anakin Hc’s - random thoughts I had of him

Giving Anakin a massage - w a tiny hint of smut

Complimenting Anakin - is never talked about enough

Anakin x curvy Reader Hc’s

Anakin x skinny Reader Hc’s

Fluff blurbs! - one, two

Stargazing with Anakin

Wearing Anakin’s Jedi Robes Hc’s

Sleepy moments with Ani Hc’s

Jealous Anakin x Reader Hc’s - mentions of smut

Anakin x Jealous Reader Hc’s - mentions of smut

Patched Up - Reader comes back from a mission all cut up, Anakin helps patch her up

Sick People Should Stay Away from Balconies - Reader is sick and asking for trouble, Anakin deals with her shit

Jelly toast - a request for a reader coming back from a mission all bruised and cut up, Anakin takes care of her

Anakin x Asthmatic Reader Hc’s - how he would act to you having asthma

Bad Dream- Reader has a nightmare during a thunderstorm and goes to Anakin for help

He Kicks Your Ass And Then Lets You Braid His Hair - see title

A Helping Hand (part 1) - Reader hurts her arm during a mission, and Anakin comes to help her (in more ways than one). Whump is in part 1, smut is in part 2 listed under Smut.

Anakin x Reader on her Period heacanons - shark week oofs

Anakin x Sick reader headcanons

Don’t Forget About Me - Reader begs Anakin not to go break up the fight between Mace Windu and Palpatine

I Gave You All - Our war-torn baby just needs a hug

Anakin x Reader w/ Mommy Issues - bro i just 

Night Bus - The Council forces you to leave Anakin

A Reason to Stay - read this at your own risk, deals with severe mental health issues. basically Anakin helps reader through a dark time.

Misunderstandings - angst ending in fluff, Anakin and reader go on a bodyguard mission together and both get jealous.

Anakin crying blurb - give sad boy a hug damnit

Anakin and Reader Take a Shower -basically what the title says. The shower gets heated in more ways than one.

What That Mouth Do Though 👄💦- he eats you out like a champ 💪🏻

Needy Anakin - (you give him a blowie)

Say My Name- jealous Anakin, choking, fucking, you know 🤷🏼‍♀️

First time - Readers first time HAVING SEX with Anakin 🥰

His First Time - The first time Anakin HAS SEX, & it’s with you :)

Welcome Home - Anakin comes home from war and reader welcomes him back with open arms... and open legs 

Save a Spaceship, Ride a Starpilot- Anakin has reader sit on his face and then she fucks him slowly ;)

Giving him a lapdance short - just a lil imagine

Jealousy (part 1) - classic under-the-table action at a high end event

Jealousy (part 2) - he gets his revenge

Master Kink Hc’s - exactly what it sounds like

A Helping Hand (part 2) - Anakin helps Reader out bc she has a broken arm :) very sweet and soft and fluffy to mend y’alls broken hearts. (part 1 is under Whump)

This is what he sounds like when he cums - grab ur headphones

This is what he sounds like in bed - grab ur headphones again lol

Anakin Eating Pussy Hc’s (part 1) - from the top make it drop thats a wap

Anakin Eating Pussy Hc’s (part 2) -  wap wap wap

General Kink blurb - credit goes to @kenobikittens​

Cruel Intentions - holiday smut, this hurt ppl’s feelings for some reason woops. anakin is mad and he’s got a dirty mouth, and also it’s Life Day.

Anakin x fem reader Pregnancy Sex Hc’s - i hate kids but this was cute

NSFW blurbs! - one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty

Sub Anakin Hc’s - good boy ;)

Deepthroating Anakin Hc’s 

Dry Humping Hc’s

A Dream Come True - Anakin helps reader masturbate and cum for the first time

Anakin & size kink hc’s

Anakin is smart - just a post talking about how intelligent our favorite Jedi is

More proof that he’s smart

Anidala Fluff - A request where Anakin and Padme do it in the fields of Naboo for the first time (no smut it’s romantic get ur head out of the gutter John B)

Love at First Sight - Anakin falls in love with you as soon as he sees you

All These Little Things - Padme x Reader / Anakin x Reader Hc’s where reader is romantically interested in Padme until she notices all of Anakin’s little things

Anakin’s hands appreciation post

Anakin’s Cheekbones Appreciation Post - he’s just got em okay

Anakin’s arms appreciation post

Aggressive Negotiations (part one) - Anakin and Reader go to a ball and it doesn’t turn out the way they expect

Aggressive Negotiations (part two) - combines the ‘he sees her dressed up for the first time’, ‘handcuffed together’, and ‘stuck in a closet’ tropes all in one mission gone wrong ;)

When he does the hand-on-cheek thing - *cries*

For people who have freckles

For people who have freckles p2 - not my work but thanks to @haydens-moles​ you guys have to suffer through this post with me

Anakin can sing

Anakin + drinking - some musings about the jedi and booze

Anakin loves rain

Anakin’s Eyelashes Appreciation Post

Random facts about his childhood

Sad Anakin fact

Anakin Reaction Pics

Random Anakin Thoughts - im so disorganized my b

What does his dick look like?

Is he brunette or blonde discourse - spoil alert: it’s neither. see next link

What color is his hair really?

It’s you- Obi Wan x Reader fic where he comes back from a mission planning to break it off with you, but then realizes he can’t let you go

You Can Rest Now - Obiwan x Reader where you take care of him after a mission that’s left him tired and sick

Obi-Wan Hc’s - random thoughts I had about him being in a relationship

What I Imagine The Star Wars Boys Wear For Underwear

What I Imagine The Star War’s Boys Dicks Are Like

Rating the Star Wars Boys Cum Faces on a Scale from 1-10

Kinky R2

The fanart that ended thousands of careers

R2D2 x C3P0 Smut 

You get Acid in your Vagina Hc’s 

Carrot Fun w Anakin - two parter, includes videos

Yoda smut snippet

He gave you a specific order

If Anakin can pull off a butt chin then so can I

How many shots it would take for me to sleep with the stars wars men (part one) (part two)

Anakin w a weave

Which Star Wars Characters Have a Foot Fetish

[marcspectrr]

A word or two on Kiara's mental health...

Before I attempt to summarize the 39 page slideshow living rent free in my brain, a preface! This will include spoilers for s2, as well as a few mentions of suicidal thoughts! Also. I love Kiara Carrera with all of my heart so if you're not a fan of her, you might wanna keep scrolling. If you don't vibe with her that's perfectly fine, but this post is heavy with Kiara appreciation, be warned, my respect for her runs deep. The choice is yours, of course, just understand that I'm writing this bc @yellowlaboratory among others have encouraged me to get it out there because it's all I've been thinking about since I watched s2. This is not to start anything.

(This is also not me hating on Pope because I genuinely like his character, he's just made some very questionable choices throughout the show, some I can forgive and some that still don't sit right with me.)

Deep breath, here we go.

It's no secret Kiara has been poorly handled by the writers and therefore the characters at times. We got little development in s1 compared to other main male characters, leaving us to fill in the gaps as far as her ambitions, motivations, family, overall interest in the boys, etc. While I do keep this in mind, I could rant about it for days so for this I'm going off of what we have as well as what's been implied.

Kiara didn't have the same upbringing as the boys but it's clear the Carrera's had/have their struggles. She's got her foot in both worlds, not quite 'rich' but not entirely 'poor', inevitably giving her a fragile sense of belonging and identity. 16 is a hard age even without societal pressures and growing up in a classist environment, but here is where we're assuming the boys come in. They give her a place to feel comfortable in her own skin, with shared interests and accepting her for who she is, which we know the kooks don't provide. Just being around them helps ease those deep insecurities, helps her form meaningful bonds. We weren't given an explicit scene where this was shown but over the course of the two seasons it's clear how she feels about them and what they do for her mentally.

Her relationship with the pogues, however, puts a rift between her and her parents. Mike and Anna clearly want what's best for Kie but it's also obvious they've struggled with her even before the pogues. Anna wants Kiara to have the things she never got growing up, breeding a disconnect since Kiara doesn't share in her mother's interests. This leads into my biggest problem with Kiara's arc in s2, which was how Anna and Mike were written. 

Yes, Kiara didn't/doesn't treat them the best but it went both ways -- they all failed at communicating. Instead of finding a common ground and compensating for the things Kiara cares about, Anna shuts her down and ignores her, leaving her to feel like a problem rather than a person, further perpetuating even less healthy communication. Kiara even says in s2 that's why she doesn't like going home, because it always means walking into an argument and not feeling accepted.

I sorta expected a little more understanding from Anna considering her own background with pogues but instead it backfired. And Mike...he didn't contribute much at all. They could've all done better and need some work. Kiara could be more grateful and Anna and Mike are the parents, the adults, they need to make the space feel safe to talk. Kie didn't just wake up one day and decide to act out and keep her parents in the dark all the time, that stems from not feeling listened to when she does try and open up.

Expanding on this with...the whole Blue Ridge plot. Moment of silence for the show neglecting to acknowledge the academy,  even though it clearly had a big impact on Kiara's life. In s1 we got a brief look into how her 'kook year' affected her and it was not good. More isolation, blurred identity, insecurity and this time suicidal thoughts, with no one to turn to for support, assuming she was not on good terms with her parents then either. I'm assuming this because for them to send her to the academy, hoping to give her better opportunities only for it to end with her wanting to cut her wrists, to then thinking the best option is to send her away again? At this point I hope they didn’t know how badly the academy affected her because sending her away a second time with that knowledge is such a hurtful and oblivious move.

Kiara already thinks her parents see her as a burden, hurting her sense of worth as is. I really wanted to like the Carrera's and I still feel like they genuinely love and care for Kie, I just need to see more communication maybe. And if they choose to include the Blue Ridge plot, which I'm leaning towards yes on that one, I hope it's handled somewhat well, preferably not a tool to create drama even though I know a lot of people want to see it be used that way. I'm very particular, I'm sorry I'm this way.

Things I've seen her being criticized for in s2 is her behavior. The thing that people have to remember is that she's 16 and teenagers are just not the best with navigating their emotions. She made questionable choices (the 'murderer' thing and 'abusing' Pope) but these are both things that fit the plot and her character. She was by no means the only one grieving so I don't know why she's being targeted for it (although I'm not surprised, the fandom treats her horribly). Some of her core characteristics are her high moral integrity as well as her headstrong belief in people and causes. She's never been one to make herself palatable for people and s2 shows a lot of this (calling out the Cameron's, going off in front of the court, etc). Even if it caused them problems and even if they are flaws, that doesn't make her an inherently intolerable character, it makes her realistic. She was not in a good place emotionally and it would've been wrong to shy away from depicting it any other way, especially in a show where the teenage experience is decently represented.

Now with the Pope thing. I think it was handled as well as it could've been considering the circumstances. It really should've never happened but to justify it, emotions are messy, relationships even messier and they were both spiraling at the end of s1. I don't agree with the way it started (why give Kie the line of literally telling him she wanted something different only to show them together next episode, I'm forever confused) but I'm not mad about how it ended. They were both in the wrong at times so only bringing up Kie's faults is just unfair.

I believe they both tried their best and even wanted to feel the right things but learned quickly that's not exactly how it works, which was how it was supposed to be shown. Not as this romanticized, idealistic healthy relationship but as one that has its bumps and was bred out of all the wrong things. All of their body language pointed towards this. Pope didn't deserve to be hurt but Kie clearly didn't intend for things to turn out how they did. She wasn't mentally comfortable enough for a relationship and I can appreciate them showing this in the ways the writers framed it. Even the conversation with Kie describing their night on the beach, I think it was perfect. It was awkward but it was honest, which is so important.

Overall, I think Kiara's gone through a lot mentally that the show could be better at exploring. It doesn't have to be big, obvious lingering shots, they can be subtle and still mean so much to people who relate to her. Seeing someone on screen grapple with real life struggles (even if the show walks a painfully fine line as far as realism), it means a lot. Especially when mental health (more prominent than ever) is so rarely portrayed to translate in any significant way in media now. It's definitely something I would love to see get more time and effort so until then, just know I'll be manifesting the screen time Kiara Carrera deserves.