#forest dumbassery

[saiyuri-dahlia]

I used to wander the edge of the forest around my house when I was a child, and there were towers of kudzu, pink flowering trees in the spring, and this wall of black and red berries I was told not to eat but I used to smash in between my fingers. It was honestly pretty magical to me as a kid, and I was devastated when my father cleared out that area when I was 10ish.

In retrospect, it was kind of a good thing my dad cleared out that area bc kudzu is highly invasive and chokes out native plants--even if the towers look pretty magical. And those berries I used to smash? Pokeweed, a poisonous plant with poisonous berries. Thank goodness I was an obedient kid and never ate the berries bc I definitely wanted to.

Oh, and the native pink flowering trees are just called redbud trees, and as far as I know there's nothing scary about them. Now that I know what they are, I want to seed propagate them and plant as many as possible to replace all the ones my father cut down.

Since we don't even use that part of our lawn near the forest I'd love to plant native wildflowers, but I know the deer would come by and eat everything. Honestly, the deer are the reason we don't have a larger flower garden, or even tried to plant vegetables.

And our deer are persistent enough to ignore the usual tricks and hop/break fencing, so they're always going to be a problem for my future planting plans. You try to help out the bees, butterflies, and birds, and dang deer have to come along and munch every little green sprig coming out of the ground.

[bloopitynoot]

What I Read This Week: 04/27/2025

I am a librarian, and unrelated to stereotypes about my profession, I do read a metric shit-ton in a week. Most of it is fanfiction but hey, I thought maybe it's time I share my reads?

This is what I read this week:

1  Sit With Your Soul by Tossawary (61, 443)

Summary: The original Shen Qingqiu suffers a severe deviation that unsettles his daemon, transforming them into a childish and inconstant creature, too curious and without any memories of the life that has made him so bitter. His soul is now unrecognizable to him and everyone can see his humiliation.

Shen Yuan isn't exactly happy to have transmigrated into Proud Immortal Demon Way at all, much less as this doomed scum villain's daemon.

A His Dark Materials Fusion AU. Knowledge of HDM not required.

I honestly should have known it was going to be a banger of a fic when I saw who the author was! Stunning author- stunning fic!

I cried so many times reading this; the emotional growth for the characters is really what makes it

Precious bean Shen Yuan!!!! 10/10 fic.

2 Peak Dumbassery by misto713 (4, 514)

Summary: "Two bros~, flying on qi swords~, saving each other’s lives ‘cause they're not gay~."

A minor mission goes wrong, but also oh so right. Cang Qiong Sect leadership honestly has so many questions.

Shen Qingqiu’s thin face shall never recover from this.

Absolutely wonderful cumplane buffoonery. These two pals are a nuisance and a problem LOL

I love two idiots fixing things in creative and horrific ways

RIP to the peak lords and what they witnessed

3 Am I Really a Damsel if I’m Letting Myself Get Kidnapped? by Ray__7 (9, 654)

Summary: The Masked Sun Serpent.

A snake the size of a train, whose entire body was transparent. It was the real reason why no one who entered the forest ever returned. Unlike most monsters in PIDW, The Masked Sun Serpent fashioned itself more a god than a monster, trapping people under its thrall to serve it until they were inevitably devoured. Luo Binghe had come to the Glass Forest in order to save wife #229, who had fallen under the snakes spell.

Shen Qingqiu had made his way all the way out here to do the same thing as wife #229: Get himself kidnapped.

——————-

Or: Shen Qingqiu engages in the age old practice of snagging a man by acting pathetic.

omg I loved this piece of absolute ridiculousness.

Shen Yuan is a genius and an idiot

It wasn't what he was going for, but you know what, it did work LOL

4 Love Thy Self by iguana8llama (121, 484)

Summary: “Bro, you sound so strange. You can drop character all the way dude. Going back and forth like that is messing with me.”

“I cannot drop character.” Shen Qingqiu mocked him and did some hella sassy air quotations. “This Master has two souls dwelling inside him. This one is Shen Jiu of this world, and this one is Shen Yuan of a different world.”

The voice was the same. Aside from the obvious choice of words, there was a subtle tilt in the tone, a barely there change in the accent. Standing before him was a transmigrator and a self aware story character.

“Oh bro that is so fucked.”

This fic is phenomenal!!!! Shen yuan and Shen Jiu are two souls in one body

Absolutely stunning part one- it is a very angsty cliff hanger ending but I am hopeful (running to part 2)

The polycule is messy not going to lie LOL but I hope they can all figure their shit out

5 The Pain of Loving Others by iguana8llama (62, 791)

Summary: “Not like I want to be stuck with a parasite that’s slowly killing me.” It wasn’t often that one of them would speak out loud but sometimes their mental space felt too cramped and the words just had to come out.

“Oh yeah?” Shen Yuan kicked their feet up into the air, swishing them back and forth childishly. “If I’m a parasite, you’re a meaner version of Jiu, Jiu-ge. I know Shen Jiu. I’ve lived his life, I’ve shared his life. I’ve seen yours. My only comment: you’re hella lonely.”

Jiu-ge put their feet down and rolled over onto their back. Staring at the gray ceiling of their prison. “Bullshit. I’m not lonely enough. You’re still here.”

Part two of the series in fic #4

Ngl this one was BLEAK. But things are moving in the right direction I think.

Stellar writing and storytelling!

Hopefully the third and final part brings joy??

6 Better Together by iguana8llama (131, 046)

Summary: If Shen Shen had taken this baby’s mama as a pet all those years ago this little one wouldn’t have been born. He sat up straighter, the fine hair at the base of his neck standing on end. It was as though that thought had sent lightning through him. Struck by an epiphany.

He didn’t know which path awaits him, but he also didn’t know what good surprises would come either. This cub was an unexpected gift and for the first time in a long time Shen jiu found himself hoping for the best. Shen Shen lived life doing things that made him happy. Shen Jiu wants that too, he wants to live life and do things that will make him happy.

*Meanwhile* *in another Dimension*

So far the stupid actions Shen Yuan has taken led to Jiu-ge living a life reminiscent to that fantasy dream were everything was nice and happy and just out of reach for scum like him.... Fuck it, if they’re gonna die might as well live a little.

Part three to the series mentioned in #4 and #5 (final part!)

We do get a good happy ending with some loose ends still to be completed- but very positive ending

I adored this series <3 The polycule is complicated but loving

7 PRÆY FOR A GOD by Siren_Cat (73, 207)

Summary: Shen Yuan opened his eyes abruptly, head shooting up and towards the voice, a little ahead of him stood an imponent and tall silhouette, an otherworldly aura surrounded its figure and gray eyes met his green ones as the War God looked at him.

This was such a good in between emotionally charged fics type of fic

very goofy in a light way, and super fluffy. Good feelings all around!

The setting gives a little wink and nod to tgcf which I adore too

8 Brilliant Mistake by brooklinegirl (53, 702)

Summary: "Fine," Wen Qing says, turning back to Wei Ying. "You're pregnant."

Lan Zhan feels his mouth drop open and has to work to shut it.

Wei Ying reacts not at all. He's swinging his feet where he's sitting on the table, a bored expression on his face.

Wen Qing just looks at him. "I am not joking about that."

Wei Ying stops swinging his feet. He blinks several times in a row. "Wait," he says.

Or:

I woke up at 3AM and sent myself an email that just said:

Modern cultivation friends curse sexy pollen hook up desperate WWX gets pregnant

I adore mpreg fics, especially wangxian mpreg because they are adorable

This fic was so soft :'3 my heart!

Are they idiots- yes, do they figure it out, super late yes, LOL but they do figure it out!

two parter but the second is more like an epilogue (and SUPER sweet :'3 10/10 recommend the read)

9 the art of courtship by antimonia (10, 264)

Summary: Shen Qingqiu accepts his courtship, and Liu Qingge feels like the world is his. His breath catches in his throat, and he wonders what he's done to deserve this miracle.

Liu Qingge will do right by Shen Qingqiu. There is no gift he cannot bring, no beast he cannot hunt for Shen Qingqiu. He will prove to everyone that Shen Qingqiu has chosen a partner that he can proudly stand by.

Small fic (compared to my beast reading) three part series and SO good

Shen Qingqiu is an idiot LOOOL completely oblivious in everything romance LOL

He eventually gets it but when he does - absolute head desk

The crack and fluff I truly needed

10 i know you'll be waiting for me by AkikoFumi (14, 113)

Summary: When Shen Qingqiu wakes up, it's with a skull-splitting headache. He immediately and wholly regrets every single one of his life decisions that have led him to this point, but, whatever. He'll just have a quiet day in bed!

Shen Qingqiu heaves a sigh, rolls over - and promptly freezes. He's not alone in his bed. It bears repeating: he is not alone in his bed!!

[Shen Qingqiu gets wifeplotted into the future, where he and Liu Qingge are happily married!]

Okay this was absolutely adorable, but it also did hurt my heart little bit

Less a wife plot and more so a Shen Yuan gay panics (still phenomenal though)

Very cute fic!!!!

11 The Woes of Growing Pains by CheckersXIV (26, 495)

Summary: No one has ever had a successful time acclimating to transmigration.

At least, that's what Shen Yuan tells himself after he accidentally breaks The System. It doesn't help that he wakes up as a teenage disciple inside of the bane of his existence- Proud Immortal Demon Way. He's trying to take precautions to avoid all the death flags that this stupid villain's body of his is going to get him into, but some other disciple really seems to have it out for him...

Shen yuan transmigrates and 1. is too early 2. breaks the system. The result is an absolutely adorable feel good story

The liushen had my heart! These two embarrassed babies :'3

The peak lords becoming besties was also a solid highlight

12. Heaven Official's Blessing by MXTX Chapter 97-100

Summary: Born the crown prince of a prosperous kingdom, Xie Lian was renowned for his beauty, strength, and purity. His years of dedication and noble deeds allowed him to ascend to godhood. But those who rise, can also fall…and fall he does, cast from the Heavens again and again and banished to the mortal realm.

Eight hundred years after his mortal life, Xie Lian has ascended to godhood for the third time. Now only a lowly scrap collector, he is dispatched to wander the earthly realm to take on tasks appointed by the heavens to pay back debts and maintain his divinity. Aided by old friends and foes alike, and graced with the company of a mysterious young man with whom he feels an instant connection, Xie Lian must confront the horrors of his past in order to dispel the curse of his present.

I am rounding out the end of book 6; it is STILL ruining my life :((((

I'm reading about a chapter a day and live blogging the experience. you can follow along on the Bloopitynoot reads TGCF tag

NO SPOILERS PLS.

I am so soft for Hualian

That's what I read this week!

It was very liushen heavy and I am not upset about this at all. You can definitely tell that when I marked for later I was craving a specific vibe XD

I have lots of SVSSS fics to work through but my wangxian is lacking! If you have any fav wangxian fics, (I'll also take most MDZS tbh) I would gladly accept <3

If you want a personalized fic list I am offering lists for Wangxian (some other MDZS pairings) and bingqiu (and some other SVSSS pairings) -just send me a dm with your theme and criteria!

till next week!

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Woooo chapter 3 finally

Probably going to at least start the next chapter tonight because I’m so looking forward to writing Mihawk again. He is in this chapter as I promised, but...we do not wake him from his nap. We know better.

But Bogard and Garp have been so much fun honestly. Especially Garp giving Luffy vibes because the brainless dumbassery for sure runs in the family.

Not sure if that applies to Dragon but…look it’d be hilarious if it did—

Anyway, chapter threeeeeeeee

Flight Risk

Young!Mihawk x Marine!AFAB!Reader

Ch. 3 of like four or something maybe six at most idk, I have a clear ending in sight but I’m not sure how long it’ll take to get there

Brief summary of The Story So Far: So Garp, in his infinite wisdom, had this brilliant idea about how the Marines could use reader's devil fruit ability (zoan type, gray parrot) to spy on this particularly dangerous and elusive pirate up close, and now reader is stuck scoping out Kuraigana Island to see if there are any signs of him there. Bogard may have a coronary before this nonsense is said and done.

First Chapter link, Next Chapter link

SFW for now, but not in later chapters

Possible trigger warning for blood. Possible future trigger warnings for imprisonment, mild torture (definitely psychological, maybe physical)

Tags: Enemies to lovers, eventually NSFW, idk maybe more later

Word Count: 3,057

Haven't really proofread this much but I will in a minute I promise

No tag list yet, I do not expect one but if you're interested in seeing where this bullshit goes just lemme know

♫♬I’m Gonna Be Your Elvis — The Fratellis♬♫

I could not pretend that I was even half amused

When all they ever told me left me shaken and confused

It would have been a beautiful night for a flight, if not for the destination ahead of you.

Kuraigana Island loomed closer as your wings cut through the soft breeze in your transformed state, and catching the wind would ensure that you could simply glide most of the way there without expending too much energy. The chilly night air barely cut through your thick coat of gray feathers, and your dull coloration and the dim light of the crescent moon gave you some reassurance that you would be able to see any potential threat before it could notice you.

Something near the shore by the forest caught your eye, and you swooped in a bit closer to be positive of what you were looking at—and your stomach did a backflip as you confirmed it.

A small vessel was moored there, a boat in the shape of a coffin.

That was confirmation enough that he was here. Part of you considered circling back around the battleship cutting silently through the water a mile or so behind you and reporting this alone to Garp.

But…no. You had been told to fly over, to see what you could from a high enough elevation to avoid detection, and you intended to do just that. This was your first real chance to show your value as a Marine. You couldn’t blow it by turning tail and running the moment you felt the slightest pang of fear. Hardening your resolve, you regained your elevation with a few flaps of your wings, circling the island until you were at a height where you felt safe.

As safe as you could, at least.

The forest was quiet enough—there were no signs of the population of primates Garp had mentioned to you, perhaps all asleep for the evening. Save for the sound of nocturnal birds and insects cutting through the night air, nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the dense forest, or the narrow path that cut through it from the shore. You flew a bit lower, squinting down across the path.

His boat was there. You knew he had to be there somewhere. He never worked with anyone else, so chances were slim to none that he could possibly be anywhere else.

The clearing around the castle was half overgrown itself, littered with ruins and evidence of battles long since ended beneath a thin veil of fog, but the castle itself seemed mostly intact from your vantage point.

Intact, with a dim orange glow glimmering from one of the windows that made you briefly halt in midair, flapping your wings lightly to keep yourself aloft. Fire light. It had to be, there was no other explanation, perhaps the dim glow of a candle or a lantern. There was someone there, someone in a high room of the tower straight ahead of you. That would be enough for you to go back with, more than enough information to all but confirm the reports.

But…if you could get just a little closer, if you could confirm it with your own eyes…

This was a bad idea. It had to be a bad idea. Garp had told you to keep your distance, but you were already swooping down, stopping just beside the window and gripping your talons against the grooves between the stones that comprised the solid wall.

Folding your wings back behind you, slowly and quietly creeping closer to the window.

Closer, just a bit closer, craning your neck the slightest bit to the side to glimpse inside…

The light, as you had thought, came from an oil lantern situated on a small end table, illuminating what appeared to be a sizable den. Most of the visible surfaces in the room were covered with a fine coating of dust that glinted eerily in the flickering glow, from the bookshelves lining one wall to the adjacent hearth. It was quiet at the moment, still, but there was one sign of life that made your heart skip a beat and your breath catch.

Leaning alongside the hearth, unmarred by a single speck of dust, stood a massive sword with a jet-black blade and hilt in the shape of a cross, a glimmering blue gem set into the base of the hilt that seemed to glow in the firelight. Holding your breath as you stared at the weapon, unable to take your eyes off of it, you realized that the room wasn’t quite as silent as you had thought.

The faint whisper of slow, even breathing met your ears.

He was there. He was really there. You considered the likelihood that you were the first Marine to ever get this close without being killed within seconds, considered the idea of taking off back for your ship right that instant.

And then you slowly shifted a little closer to the window, looking around the edge of the windowsill to the other side of the room.

You barely stopped yourself from letting out a gasp.

Reclined back in an old armchair, a book open across his lap, his boots propped up on the table in front of him, arms crossed over his chest and head tilted down slightly—it was him. There was no question about it. Even with the small difference from his most recent bounty poster of the angular moustache and goatee, there was no question. You were barely ten feet away from the Marine Killer himself, Dracule Mihawk.

And he was fast asleep.

His chest rose and fell slowly with his deep, even breaths, his eyes closed. His plumed hat sat to the side on an end table, his signature trench coat draped across the back of his chair. You had done it—more than simply scouting for activity, more getting the lay of the land, you had found the man himself.

You jolted in alarm when he shifted in his sleep, quickly pulling your head out of the window, your heart racing.

That, you decided, was more than enough for you to report back. You shifted a careful distance across the wall of the tower, taking care to ensure that your talons didn’t so much as scratch against the stone surface, and took flight back toward the shore, toward the battleship barely visible against the dark water and midnight sky. Gliding just above the treetops, buzzing with adrenaline, you were already swelling with pride. You, a cadet that had spent weeks being taunted and treated like a joke, had managed to use the very ability that had made you a laughingstock to do what no other Marine had yet managed.

For the first time, you had more than just a glimmer of hope that this plan, however ridiculous it sounded on the surface, could actually work.

And then something whizzed past your left wing.

You faltered in your flight, looking around as you flapped your wings a few times to regain your equilibrium. Whatever it was had passed by so fast that you had registered no more than the whistle of wind around it. Maybe a smaller bird or a large bug—

And then it happened again.

And again.

And, as you realized that the objects were coming from below you and looked down, you let out an audible gasp that left you like a strangled squawk.

You were too close to the trees, you realized disjointedly, as you took in the sight of several enormous, ape-like creatures below you. You were also the only bird in the air, which you guessed had a great deal to with the fact that these particular apes were wearing what appeared to be some sort of armor and wielding very human weapons. Swords, spears, axes, and—to your stunned realization—bows.

Another arrow zipped past your right wing, close enough to brush across your feathers.

What the hell what the hell what the hell—

Soaring higher into the air did you little good. The beasts had already spotted you and were following your flight path with ease, still firing arrows, throwing spears (though these, thankfully, didn’t manage to come nearly high enough to pose any threat). You were more than halfway across the expanse of the forest, you could make it, you knew you could.

Nearly to the end of it, dipping higher and lower, zig-zagging through the air to throw off the aim of the strange primates.

Right there, right at the edge of the trees, when a searing pain tore through your right wing, causing you to screech out a swear, glancing down to watch the offending arrow fall and land on the shore below you.

You didn’t even dare glance toward your wing to see how bad the injury was. As long as you didn’t look, it might have only been a scratch. It might have just been a light graze. You tried to ignore how unsteady your flying was, to ignore the fact that you were slowly losing elevation and seemed unable to regain it, that you were swerving to the left no matter how hard you tried not to.

You did focus on the fact that if you fell now, you wouldn’t ever make it back. You’d fall into the nearly black waves below you and sink down into the ocean like a sack of stones, and that would be the end.

Your ship drew closer and closer, growing larger and larger in your line of sight, and you focused on that.

Until you were close enough to glide awkwardly onto the quarterdeck, where Garp and Bogard seemed to be arguing quietly in front of the doors of the Vice Admiral’s cabin, and skid past them across the floorboards, hitting the railing on the starboard side.

Whatever argument your superior officers had been engaged in ceased the moment you transformed, pulling yourself up to sit against the railing, already half-shouting at the older man, “You could have told me they knew how to use weapons!”

You didn’t like the way they stared at you for a long moment, both of their gazes flickering to your right arm, no more than you liked how limp the appendage felt at your side as you gripped at the railing with your left hand.

Garp mumbled something to Bogard, who gave a short nod before disappearing into the cabin.

Garp tilted his head the slightest bit to the side, lifting his eyebrows as he slowly approached you. “That—exactly who knows how to use weapons?” he asked slowly.

“The goddamned apes, that’s who,” you said through your teeth, briefly forgetting every ounce of formality that your time as a Marine had instilled in you. “They had swords! And bows! And armor and spears and—”

“The ap—never mind that for now,” he said slowly, holding up a hand. “You need to calm down, cadet. And we need to get you patched up.”

“Patched up—I could have been killed!”

You still hadn’t looked at your arm. The adrenaline still coursing through your veins made the sharp, throbbing pain seem like an afterthought, like a distant reality as you pulled yourself to your feet. “By a bunch of damned monkeys that evidently—”

“Enough.” You jumped at the harsh command, straightening yourself out completely and snapping to attention in an instant. Your eyes briefly darted to the cabin doors as Bogard emerged, unwinding a belt as he strode over quickly, tossing a quick glare at Garp before lifting your arm and wrapping it around a couple inches below your shoulder. “We can discuss it in a few minutes. We need to get you down to the sick bay first.”

You still didn’t look down, shaking your head at Garp as you stared at him in alarm.

“It was just a scratch, I’m fine—ow—” you added as Bogard abruptly tightened the belt around your arm, glancing over.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the large, deep gash extending nearly from your right elbow to your shoulder.

At the blood steadily spurting out from what was no doubt a pretty important vein or artery.

“O…oh,” was all you could force out, your eyes lowering to the puddle of blood at your feet, the adrenaline rush fading in nearly an instant, leaving you more than a little light-headed. “That’s…”

The makeshift tourniquet around your arm did gradually slow the bleeding by the time you sat down at the edge of one of the cots in the infirmary, but you were still woozy from the blood loss, still lightheaded from everything you had witnessed during your flyover of Kuraigana Island, only catching the vaguest gist of Garp and Bogard’s continued bickering.

“And you didn’t think to inform me of this hare-brained mission beforehand?” Bogard was saying, and while his face was shadowed by the brim of his hat you were sure his expression matched his sour tone.

“It was just recon,” said Garp, sitting at the edge of a cot a few feet away, striking a match and holding it to the end of a cigar clamped between his teeth. “In and out, ten minutes. Didn’t seem like a big deal.”

“And yet here we are,” he said through his teeth, not bothering to glance up at your flinching as he cleaned the gash with an alcohol drenched cloth.

“How the hell was I supposed to know a bunch of goddamned apes would know how to use weapons?” he said, slouching over against the wall. “Wonder if the psychopath trained them…”

“Seeing as we know next to nothing about him aside from the fact that he seems to derive joy from committing mass murder, I don’t suppose anyone knows,” said Bogard, tossing a sidelong glare at the vice admiral, who gave a noncommittal shrug. Bogard tossed the cloth aside with an irritated growl and shoved a clean one into your hands. “Put pressure on that.”

“Yessir,” you said automatically, wincing as you pushed the rag against the wound.

“With all due respect, Garp, this entire farce was your idea,” said Borgard, straightening out from where he had been kneeling next to your cot to cross the room and begin rifling through drawers and cabinets. “I’m sure you can imagine what we’d have to deal with were we to return to headquarters and have to inform Sengoku that our operative was killed en route by a bow-wielding monkey.”

“Eh…” Garp shrugged a shoulder, his own expression souring at the thought. “But hell, at least we know why no one’s made it out of the place now. So we did get some information.”

“And suppose the target had been there?”

“He was.”

Both men froze when you spoke up—Garp halfway through pulling his cigar from his mouth to flick the ashes from the end, Bogard with a drawer halfway shut, both of them slowly turning their heads to look toward you.

“You should probably tell someone at headquarters to update his bounty poster,” you added, tapping at your chin. “He, ah, has a goatee now.”

Both men continued to regard you in stunned silence for several long, tense seconds, glancing at each other as your words slowly sunk in.

Garp’s face split into a grin, and his hearty laughter a moment later completely drowned out his partner’s weary sigh. Bogard slowly closed the drawer, turning around to lean back against the counter behind him, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

“Were you not instructed to keep your distance?” he said loudly, glowering over at Garp as the older man threw his head back in laughter. You sat up a bit straighter when Bogard turned his glare on you, crossing his arms, frowning at you with the same measure of exasperation. “Had you been seen—”

“I was careful,” you said quickly. “I noticed a light in one of the castle windows. Most of the place is in ruins but the castle is still standing. I only peeked through the corner of the window, he was asleep.”

You decided as his frowned deepened that it was best not to mention how long you had lingered in the windowsill.

“Sounds to me like the kid passed her test with flying colors,” said Garp, still chuckling to himself. He gave you a nod of approval, pointing toward you with the smoldering end of his cigar. “Good work, cadet.”

“It sounds,” said Bogard, pulling the drawer next to him open sharply, “as if our cadet was taking wholly unnecessary risks for the sake of an unnecessarily dangerous and unauthorized ‘test’ of her abilities.” Garp rolled his eyes at the indirect scolding, leaning against the wall of the infirmary again. “Needless to say,” he went on, fishing through the drawer and retrieving a suture kit before shoving it closed, “the next time any of your commanding officers sees fit to pose you with such a mission again…”

He grabbed a clipboard off of the counter, flipped over an empty medical report to its blank side, and tossed it onto the cot next to Garp, before heading back over to sit at the cot across from yours. You watched as he retrieved a large, curved needle and set to threading it, tossing a sharp look at you.

“…you are both advised and encouraged to run it by me first. Understood?” You nodded quickly as he pulled the cloth out of your hands and away from the expansive gash across your arm. “Good. Then you’ll relay what you witnessed during your reconnaissance, and our esteemed vice admiral will take down the report—”

“Why the hell do I have to—”

“Because you’re terrible at applying stitches,” Bogard snapped before Garp could finish his protest. The older man rolled his eyes, snatching up the clipboard and digging a pen out of his pocket. Bogard leaned over with the threaded needle in his hand and added, “This is going to hurt.”

“Probably not much more than nearly having my wing shot off,” you reasoned.

Garp snorted.

Bogard sighed, muttering something under his breath about being surrounded by idiots, before grabbing your wrist and pulling your arm straight, not bothering to give you any warning before jabbing the needle through your skin.

“Just stay still,” he said over the sharp hiss of air your drew in through your teeth at the pain, “and relay your report, cadet."

Next chapter link again, for your convenience

First Chapter Link again, for your convenience

[colormints-art]

these two should really be used to his dumbassery by now 🤠😭

btw koya's dumbassery probably includes his bow and arrow, a stupid bet with kei's younger brother, nearly setting a shed (and the surrounding forest) on fire, and magically coming out unscathed with the village guards being none the wiser 😭🔥 but ayee i made this one exclusively to finally have a new header everywhere 🤙🏻

follow me on bsky @ colormints.bsky.social for more regular updates on my art, wips, oc ramblings and more ✨🫶🏻

[popleedelululand]

Pit Babe 2 episode 1 (re)watch/commentary part 1

I wasn't sure at first, but i finally decided to bring back my (way too long) commentary, like i did for season 1, where i focus on tiny and probably irrelevant details, make questionnable joke, ask to many question for a BL series and lovingly call out the characters on their dumbassery, with the added bonus of Ateez meme . Those post will get things added to them as the series progress = *edit : ......*

Do i love the song, hell yes - do i love it as the opening song, a little less

Hello dear parents

....nope, not getting there with Way

Of course you will

"Someone like me got nothing to fear" and this is how you attract the devil eyes....and this is also how you know Mama's going to have a lot to fear about

Don't sweep away Charlie's worries like that !

Call back n°1

You can say whatever you want, in this series the Papa/Mama thing while never get old nor be cringe

Now, i have multiple thing to say about this

Babe leg over Charlie's hips ? Charlie's hand on Babe's tight ? Hot Damn

How they switched side on the bed ? Charlie's glasses on one side and what i suppose is Babe's bottle of pills (Sleeping pills ? something else)

The Eiffel Tower Lamp....inch resting choice

Am i the only one who get a very boat or sea like feeling about the bedroom? The dark blue sheets, the dark wood ? And even the painting is vague enough that it can evoke either a town, a snow covered forest or a port (i while come back to the sea thing later)

The room give both an open yet cozy feelings

And the old video projector -> Do they use it ? Would it work ? i don't know but i put it in my "endearing thing in CharlieBabe home" list, next to the red typewriter

Pavel's expression during NC scene are still the best

This is almost worship

I already talked about this in my season 1 commentary, but the joy on Babe's face during intimate moment with Charlie still make me emotional

Adding the vinyl player to the list

Their respective picture on the desk...cute!

So, does Charlie has 2 desk or is this one Babe's ?

Same reaction

We are only five minutes in, what am i doing

The King and The Prince...royalty AU ? Anyone ?

The only real fan ? Excuse me sir but until i see you covered in Pit Babe merch, i will not let you claim that title XD

Hiiiiii Kim ! You're pretty

And thank you for pointing out the most obvious thing in the world

Can I say that the Red Racing suit suited him better in terms of color...

Healthy competition, love to see that

Do you think Kim and North ever got together for a drink after a long day of dealing with both couples, just for North to end up drunk and crying about Sonic while Kim awkwardly patted him on the shoulder ?

How did he not quit earlier ? Or thrown rotten tomatoes at their head ?(bc it's not like he could complain to HR)

And this is how you know those two are the only relevant teams

That’s one ominous way to introduce a new characters

I already mentioned this somewhere, but is the Tick Ka thing related to his power ? And if yes, is it the tick of a clock (time related ? why not, but time related powers are to be treated carefully). Someone sent an ask saying that maybe his power is related to his voice, and this would explain Charlie's reaction. Because (if the subtitles are right) he said that he heard a sound, not a voice....(or maybe i'm once again nitpicking about irrelevant things, but words have meaning and semantics are important). And the tick ka could also reference a pendulum (hypnosis)

Willy is such a little shit

North taunting the ETA crew XD

The way they filmed the race is much better that in S1

Maybe if Kim had overtaken Charlie.....

The first time in years ???? Didn't he lose to Kim in Ep 3 last season, like the year before ????? (more like half a year...but still)

You know that this single interaction started a whole war on social media (in world)....maybe even a #CancelPitBabe trended for a few hours....and then 20 edits on tiktok in less than a day...

Mais.....did he just try to grab Babe's arm ???

But we love a supportive team

Pooh acting in this scene ? perfect ! the fake pleasant expression turning colder, his intonation...

Did he just click is tongue at Charlie....what is it ? Ru Paul drag race ???

Babe loosing a race -> leaving Charlie in the dust .....i see a pattern here

Jeff being the optimistic one....he grew so much🥹

Glad we agree Uncle

Jeff initiating physical contact 🥹🥹🥹

Those sniff kisses may not be my favorite, but it's cute

...i think those men suffer from "ificommunicatewithmypartneriwilldie-ism". Sadly for us, no cure as been found yet

He's no just seeing the scene, he's walking through it - even if when it happens, he's not here....i already saw this somewhere...

How did.... yeah nah, suspension of belief

Pretty colored liquid !

Liu : As the only named woman in this show i want to thrust her, but the vibes are not vibing yet

Also the Change photo for the badge...perfect

And we got a date ! Maybe this time is will not have to loose half of my brain capacity to make a coherent timeline

108 !? for 116 version...

Hiiiii Aon !!!!!

Hiiii Mr Pete !!!!! i preferred your hairstyle in S1...still love your voice

Still thinking like a sponsor

Three possibilities : either Charlie is more than just a special Alpha, his power is far to potent for the current drug to work or dude fucked up his body with the serum in S1 (like in real life when your body get so accustomed to a drug/medicine that is just stop working on you)...Good work Charlie !

Do you think Pete also wants to get rid of his power ?

Now that power is SO COOL!!! And i guess this counts as a time related power ? Or is it more like a "life span" thing ?

Maybe make sure that poor man does die first ????

I forgot how small Aon is compared to most of the cast XD

Smart baby

What does he mean when he say abroad...is it just the US or all countries ?-> is it irrelevant to the story ? yes, do i want an answer ? also yes (worldbuilding)

I wonder what the cover story for the labs and those specific research

WHO IS THAT SOMEONE WHO RECOMMENDED CHRIS ????????

Depending on who recommended him.....Tony's mole is that you ?

"So the theory of Chris being Way is possible" Yes, but -> If Way and Chris are the same person, then the series better give us a very good explanation on how we get (in less than a year mind you) from Way - car racer to Chris - Alpha genetic expert, who is good enough in his field of research to have made his name known in the international scientific world.... I'm not saying that Way isn't' smart, but getting a PHD in less than a year ....nah...because sugarpie will have to put out some work if he wants to keep is cover (did i just copy/paste on of my post...yes)

Look, i have no problem with suspending belief when i watch/read something....temps que tu me prends pas pour un PIGEON!

"No matter the cost" how about your body, heart and sanity ?

Is Babe wearing a ring ?

At least this time it's not some poor lockers

This show is a masterpiece ! I can understand that some people doesn't like it or find it cringe but damn it's good

Also, new throwback. And if S1E1 Babe wasn't vibing with the whole master-servant thing, he sure did change his mind XD

I knew it, Charlie is a stationary girl. Also, will i have no problem with the car being inside the house....not fan of the location

Charlie is committing to the bit

TO SOFT !!!

Spiderman kiss !

Edit : this show is still a comedy

I know you want all of your boyfriend attention but maybe try to be a tiny bit more understanding....

Good thing i watch BOTH VERSION !!!!

More sea related thing !!!! And a new item in my "endearing things in CharlieBabe home" list, same for the figurine

Maybe they got a car kink

Jeff, why are you calling your brother at 23H09 (11PM) and i'm on Alan side on this one, why are you still working ?

Having your boyfriend kidnapped twice does that to you

Sailub hands on Pon waist ...that it

Alan keep being a green flag, yeah !

Sadly, Jeff as an episode of "ificommunicatewithmypartneriwilldie-ism"....what a terrible disease, claimed so many in the BL universe

He lied, like a liar

I know that none of these men are the most useful beaver at the dam but still...

The timeline is not timelining.....but suspension of belief 🙂‍↕️

That one hell of a power upgrade !

And done for the first half of episode one....

If you stayed till now, you deserve a smooch ! or cookies....or both !

[yoonyeon0]

another day, another general hcs 🥱

Hatsumi Sen General Hcs

let’s go!!

Hatsumi is another guy that can’t be bothered to make plans and if he does please feel honored! Your probably the only person he did this too 🤭

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi can’t stand bugs. He finds them so gross and even if he’s a man, he’ll definitely scream like a girl and make anyone around him kill it.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi likes beer. I don’t know if this was obvious but he definitely drinks himself drunk whenever he DOES go out.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi doesn’t do skincare but somehow has the best skin ever. I swear, this man can do anything and everything to make his skin irritated but it just never happens.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi likes cats. Huge cat person over here. If he could, he would just be a cat dad and live in the forest somewhere.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi can definitely and will definitely play the flute. It’s a skill he picked up randomly and he’s gotten terribly good at it. (I don’t know where this came from but it’s been bugging me since 😭)

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi can’t be faithful to anything; including women. If you give Hatsumi money and ask him to give it back, you’ll be waiting another 2 years just for 15 dollars.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi likes tattoos but is too much of a pussy to get one. If he wasn’t so much a pus pus, he’d probably get a four leafed clover. I don’t know why.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Hatsumi is one of those guys that you can’t read no matter how good your intuition is. He is just unreachable in terms of dumbassery.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Now, who would Sen listen to?

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

Probably Sza and/or Jhene Aiko. He likes the way their voices sound smooth and how they’re so minimalist. He wouldn’t go to concerts but he has her SOS/Sailing Souls album. He also has a record player so he repeats their songs on it.

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

That’s it!

i have a hate/love relationship with him.

𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙤𝙣! 𝘿𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙡, 𝙘𝙤𝙥𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠.

[cerealmonster15]

SILVER DND SESSION UPDATE!!!!!!!

Silver is back at it again fucking it up stupid style 🫡

Still in Lilia's beach house, when everyone goes to sleep after last session events, Silver uses his unique magic and randomly lands in MAEVE'S DREAM where she is dreaming suspicious foreshadowing stuff in the middle of a forest. She snaps out of the dream really quickly though like as soon as she sees Silver

Silver gets straight to business making up for restraining Maeve in the fight from before, apologizing for the whole thing and explaining himself a little. She's still pissed off about it but she accepts the apology lol

HOWEVER............. While Silver is explaining himself, he makes a little oopsie and mentions that he's been out of sorts because of both Laurel's mom And Also Adrian's Dad (he was the only one who saw that dream and at this point is the only one in the group who knows anything about Adrian's situation at all)

Maeve asks how Laurel's mom and Adrian's dad are at all similar since she just knows Laurel's mom was really bad. Silver makes Another Whoopsie Doopsie and tells her every single thing that happened in Adrian's dream and his mom committing suicide 😭😭😭

Maeve is now very torn because on the one hand she hates liars and appreciates honest people. But on the other hand. That was a lot of private information sprung on her that Adrian did not tell Silver he could tell her 😭 she points it out too that he probably should NOT have said all that and Silver starts having an oh shit moment. The oh shit moment is going to get a lot worse because Maeve CANNOT keep quiet about secrets for long before blowing them up

SO....... Maeve wakes up which causes Silver to also wake up. Maeve finds Laurel on the floor asleep in her room and has a scene dealing with that, meanwhile Silver is Doing His Best To Wake Up Adrian Before Maeve Storms The Room

He does wake up from Silver's shaking, but hates actually getting up in the morning, and succeeds his persuasion roll for Silver to let him keep cuddling him lol 😭

It is very cute and immediately ended when Silver tells him he should get up because He Fucked Up Bad And Maeve Knows Everything,,, Adrian gets up with the most dejected face, asks why, and facepalms with so much disappointment when Silver just says Maeve asked so he explained it all 😭

After Maeve finishes dealing with Laurel sleeping on the floor, she comes loudly aggressively knocking on the door

Adrian: Now Who Do You Think That Is 😒

Silver: Maeve 😔

Adrian: And Why Do You Think She Is Here 😒😒😒

Silver: Because I told her everything 😔😔😔

Adrian:

Maeve yells that if one of them does not open the door for her, she's coming in anyway. Adrian groans and mumbles that he doesn't want to deal with this right now, Silver repeats louder for Maeve to hear that Adrian doesn't want to deal with this right now (much to his exasperation lol 😭) and Maeve comes in anyway

Maeve repeats Everything that Silver said in the dream word for word (very unfortunate because Laurel followed her without her knowing and now ALSO knows everything that Adrian has been trying very hard to keep a secret 😭😭😭) and asks him if that's all true. He is deeply uncomfortable now For Some Reason and says it's true

Maeve gets mad at that lol and asks why he's never told anybody he's been living alone with this asshole. Adrian gets mad at that also and says he never wanted anyone to know anything about what happened. They go back and forth and somehow both manage to get jabs at Silver in for his dumbassery causing all this 😭

Adrian sees Laurel as she's decided to stop snooping on all that and Walk Away, gets very overwhelmed that yet another person knows all his secrets, and storms out of the beach house 😔

Maeve leaves to go talk to Laurel & after calming Laurel down from hearing all that, they both go wake up Lilia for breakfast (forgetting at first what his cooking abilities are like, immediately regretting it, and ignoring his attempts to make them food to get breakfast delivered instead LOL)

Other room of 3 starts waking up and goes down for breakfast too. Lilia realizes that sonboy is missing and asks if he and Adrian are still asleep, sees the panic from Maeve and Laurel and deduces that They Are Not Asleep, and goes up to find Silver in his timeout corner he made for himself 😭

Silver is stubborn about explaining what happened because he is very uncertain about what things he should and shouldn't say now, but Lilia does eventually get enough out to know that Silver has told somebody else all of Adrian's issues and scolds him for it 😔 he says he should talk to Adrian about it soon but give him some time to calm down (Silver panics trying to figure out how soon is too soon and how much time is too much time ;;)

Thankfully for Silver being very easily distracted, bat papa notices Silver's bat tattoo and he gets to fondly explain that he got it while thinking of his father :) Lilia is excited about it and teases him for it, Silver gets Lilia's phone number for future uses, AND ALSO his magic ring that will allow him to control which dream he goes to for this campaign, and they go back down to eat 😌

After everyone eats for a while, they realize that Adrian is gone out of the beach house, and Laurel decides to be the one to go after him AND THAT'S WHERE SESSION ENDS!!!!!!!!!

We were fully planning on getting out of Lilia's beach house very early on in this session before Silver randomly got dropped in Maeve's dream and had his little whoopsie doopsie 😭😭😭 hopefully we will be done with everything at Lilia's beach house by the end of next session at least LOL plus Silver and Adrian need to make up really badly because I will feel sad the longer this goes on ;;

yaaaaay we love a cringefail prince type boy situation!!

OH GOD HES HAVING A CRINGEFAIL SITUATION SILVER NOOOO oh wait what. was it a suicide... i thought the dad straight up killed her in the altercation 🧍

OH GOD OH FUCK OH SHIT SILVER MY BOY ,, hes just a little guy,,,, honest to a fault,,, hes a little puppy dont be mad at him [hits him with the babyfication beam sorry silver you are so 17 and baby to me JKFLSDJKFLSDF] hes in time out.... oughhh wahhhhh god i dont think id ever have it in me to be mad at silver [or kalim. LOL] like shore given the circumstances i get it but like. me when a character didnt mean it: oughh but he didnt mean it... whys everyone so mad 🥺 jklJKLSHFKDLSJKF

but omg waughhh teenager interpersonal drama: the movie.... adrian having the worst time ever dear god free my boy what da hell 😭😭😭 godspeed silver....

[sonderfairy]

Some of the many Cavetown songs I associate with tmp Yay

Devil Town- Live at Hoxton Hall is so fern alsjrhfhfhfhfth like the slight hauntedness like it’s giving alone mentally ill but like getting better but also worse uhhhh best way to disrobe it is watching a barn burn while in the back seat of a car when you were little, in the pitch darkness. That mentally ill feel. Also like all devil town versions are fern so uh yeah

Dirty Devil Town Fern has taste and this is just his mental state in the recent pages tbh

Alone -acoustic is as well like bro def convinced themself that they like being alone and the acoustic ver is just preference lmao

Let them know they’re on your mind I don’t need to explain this I mean like sweet silly gay what else is there to say

Nostalgia in my BedRoom like the chorus gives Arcade vibes idk why maybe just the dumbassery tbh but like very squishy coded chorus

Boys Will Be Bugs

I mean. I don’t need to explain even like the title says it

Psychometry he doesn’t like cars, and the general overthinkiness and confusion and not knowing the future, and that could apply to both current and freshly cursed fern

Sweet tooth this is one of my fav songs like it’s sweet silly goofy idk how to describe it hhhhh um they gay and yk stuff also the tone of the ending part just gives fercade

888 like ferns life was pretty boring before he found a friend (and something more later on wink wink I’m dying just kiss already please I know it’ll be ages ao3 please)

I Miss My Mum idk mom dead yeehaw

1994 he didn’t choose the curse or his mom dying or being exiled, decomposing in their room? Like being stuck in the cave and forest and eating mushrooms that decompose stuff?? Trying to love the person he was when he was born, well there’s the magipenea and bro feels bad about it, mum and dad in live like it’s 1994? Moms dead. Needs a friend and their mental health is shit (mood), waking up on the wrong side of town is like in the wrong body and universe (real), blamed a child in a Daisy crown? That’s fern when picking up the crown that caused it, even though he didn’t know what would happen

Gray space bro misses when life was easy

Juno this is just Sonya and Noxie ok it’s a song about a cat what can I say

Everything is temporary (sticks and stones) Uhhhhh it’s silly wacky sweet therefore fercade but especially Arcade

Wasabi they are dumb gays who miss each other constantly

if there are typos uhhh this is rly late for me I just had to do this

this isn’t even all of the songs help-

Woah, I love the thought behind all of these!!

I associate these songs especially with TMP and are some of my favorites:

⭐️ let them know they’re on your mind (both acoustic or normal versions, i love this song to death)

888 (love the soft part in the middle, I imagine them dancing in the forest together)

Devil Town (it’s on Fern’s playlist, it’s just very them idk)

⭐️ Things That Make It Warm (this is SO FERCADE oh my god

I’ll have to listen to some of the songs you listed cause I don’t know all of them

[naavispider]

hey! I've been following you for a while now and i just wanted to say that i absolutely love your writing and check your blog almost everyday 😔🙏🏻

anyways i was wondering if you'd write something fluffy where spider gets the hiccups while out in the forest with the recoms. He acts tough and tries to hide it, but the recoms take notice of course. They take turns suggesting increasingly ridiculous 'cures' (gulping down lots of water, holding your breath + spinning around etc) which don't work, to their amusement and spider's growing embarrassment, and Quaritch ends up having to step in as the Responsible Father before things get out of hand.

+10 for general recom dumbassery

+20 for a cute father-son moment between quaritch and spider

+30 if spider's hiccups actually go away! 🤭

-b

Hi b! Thanks for asking! Sorry it took me a while 💞

"Son of a-"

Spider's curse was drowned out by Wainfleet's booming laughter throughout the clearing.

"Something funny, Baldo?" Spider dared.

Wainfleet tried to dim his guffaws, but was only drawing more attention to himself from Zdog and Prager. "This kid, man!" Wainfleet chuckled, addressing the rest of the recom squad's curious and amused stares. "He's had the hiccups for the last twenty minutes and tried to hide it!"

Instantaneously, the watching recoms' faces burst into matching expressions of mirth.

"Aw, baby Spidey has the hiccups?" Zdog mocked.

Spider seethed. He had been trying to conceal them for this exact reason. He knew the squad would be jerks. He grit his teeth and turned around on the fallen tree trunk, facing out of the clearing and ignoring the squad.

"Hey, kid!" Lopez called. Spider didn't turn around. He knew he was being mocked. "I got a cure." Spider's ears perked up. He slowly twisted around to hear it.

"You gotta hold your breath," Lopez continued, walking over so he didn't have to shout, "and spin around ten times while looking at the sky."

"I'm not doing that, asshat!" Spider yelled. Did they think he was dumb?

Lopez looked offended. Fike stepped in. "It's true Spidey," he said. "Something about..." he looked at Ja, who was smirking from beside the fire. "Stretching your diaphragm! Right, Ja?"

Spider looked at the medic for his opinion. "That's correct," Ja admitted. "You do have to stretch your diaphragm..."

Lopez and Fike cheered, and Zdog had begun to laugh again. "Come on, Spider! Give it a go!"

Spider cussed them all in Na'vi, hating them for their stupid 'cures', but he really was feeling desperate. If he didn't embarrass himself by listening to their suggestions, the humiliation of them all listening to his hiccups would do the job anyway.

"Fine," he growled, getting up and taking a huge gulp of filtered air, throwing his head back to the sky and spinning. The recoms began to count him, and Spider knew they were doing so deliberately slowly.

"... seven, eight, nine, ten!" They cheered, and Spider stopped spinning, letting himself come to a wobbly standstill. The world spun in front of his eyes, and his legs suddenly felt like jelly. "Woah," he said, trying to find his balance as he stepped forwards.

The recoms roared with laughter as he faceplanted a mushroom.

"Shit," he cussed, struggling to get back to his feet and deciding to just sit down with his head between his knees. Only a few seconds later, the next hiccup came.

"You bastards!" he groaned, raising his head to glare at the squad, laughing like a pack of hyenas. Spider cast around, looking for Quaritch, but the Colonel must have been out looking for dinner or securing the perimeter.

"Alright, alright," Wainfleet snickered. "Have some of my water. Just take small gulps." He got up and passed the bottle to Spider, who took it after a second's hesitation.

"Wait, have you tried drinking upside down?" Zdog butted in.

"Upside down?" queried Ja, a skeptical look on his face.

Zdog's face was reminiscent and confident. "Oh yeah, my granny swore by it, bless her heart." Spider couldn't tell if she was being serious.

"Is that gonna-" another hiccup "-stretch my diaphragm, yeah?" Spider asked sarcastically, fed up of her already.

"It will!" she replied earnestly. "If you're constantly taking small gulps without pausing for air, it forces you to hold your breath and stretches your lungs out!

Spider hiccuped again, sealing the nail in his coffin. "How am I gonna drink upside down?" He asked. Seeing the glint in Zdog's eye, and the conspiratorial smirk between Lopez and Fike, he immediately sussed them out. "You are not holding me!"

"You're a right buzzkill, kid," Wainfleet murmured.

"I can do a handstand fine by myself," Spider ignored him. "But how am I gonna drink anything?"

Prager seemed to be two steps ahead of him, already pulling out a straw from one of the recom's gross nutrient shakes that came in cardboard cartons. "Voila."

"Jesus," Spider muttered, eyeing the straw and the devilish gleam in each recom's eye as they stared at him. "You know I'll have to take the mask off?" He hiccuped again, which only strengthened their resolve, making them even more insufferable.

Spider made up his mind. "If any of you dickwads touches me I swear to Eywa..." he warned them, approaching Prager and bringing the bottle with him. "I can only hold it for like, thirty seconds."

"I'm right here with the mask, whenever you give the word," Wainfleet assured him.

"Fuck. Am I really doing this?" Spider muttered to himself stupidly.

"Yeah, baby!" Cried Zdog, who had throughly enjoyed the whole saga, providing nothing but ill-timed sniggers throughout.

Spider got into position, ready to go into a handstand. He addressed Wainfleet. "Once I'm balanced, take the mask off." Hiccup. "When I say, put it back on and not a moment later, you got it? I don't fancy dying."

Prager spoke next. "And I'll hold the bottle up for you, so you don't need to use your hands."

Spider looked around at the group, who were clearly having the time of their lives over his suffering. "I hate every one of you," he muttered, before going down on his hands and pushing himself up into a handstand. He could hold one since he was five - it was just something he was good at. Funnily enough, no Na'vi he'd ever met was able to do it. He'd spent ages trying to teach Kiri and Lo'ak and even Tuk, but they just couldn't. It seemed his useless skill was finally coming in handy.

He waited for the next hiccup to pass, took a few deep breaths, then nodded at Wainfleet. "Okay, take the mask off."

Wainfleet did so, and Prager immediately moved the water within sipping distance of Spider's mouth. He began sipping small sips, without pausing for breath, just like Zdog had said, until-

"PUT YOUR MASK BACK ON!"

Spider immediately fell down from his handstand - somewhat gracefully - and took the mask back that Wainfleet was hurriedly handing out to him.

Quaritch was standing on the edge of the clearing, a yerik slung over his shoulders and staring at the group with murder in his eyes. He deposited the animal down by the fire and stormed across the grass. Spider pressed the seal on the exopack and cool air flowed back into his mask. He took a hesitant step back from the Colonel, the man's anger palpable.

"What do you think you're doing?!" He yelled, addressing the recoms, but mostly, Spider noticed, Wainfleet. Nobody answered. "Taking his mask off! ARE! YOU! INSANE!"

All noise had vanished from the clearing. Spider could have heard a pin drop. He didn't want to even shuffle his feet for fear of making too much noise. Quaritch's roars had rooted everybody in place in shock.

Quaritch looked directly at Spider. "Come here!" he demanded, and Spider hastily obeyed. "Sit down!" Quaritch barked, removing Spider from the line of bollocking. He continued to shout at the recom squad for what felt like half an hour, when in reality it couldn't have been any longer than a minute. He was so angry, even Spider knew better than to snigger at the looks of embarrassment on the recoms' faces. They looked like a line of children that had misbehaved at school.

When Quaritch had finished, he took a moment to catch his breath, then turned back to Spider. Spider automatically flinched away, but there was no need. The Colonel reached out a huge hand and placed it on Spider's shoulder. "You should know better, kid." His tone was feather light compared to the one he'd used on the squad. "What if you'd hiccuped without your mask on?"

Spider hadn't actually considered that. Until Quaritch had mentioned hiccuping, Spider had completely forgotten about it, and only now did he realise... it had worked.

"Sorry," Spider mumbled, only half sarcastically. He looked up and made eyes with Zdog over Quaritch's shoulder. Although the woman was thoroughly scolded, she still maintained that mischievous glint in her eye, and Spider knew in that moment that she was gloating.

She'd won.

Spider's hiccups had been cured.

[robotlesbianjavert]

with how afo constructed "shigaraki tomura" as a person. how much influence do you think afo had on the league meeting shigaraki? for years we've all been wondering how spinner was recruited with no experience. it's really suspicious with this last chapter......

(sorry if there's some obvious plot hole with this tidbit. I don't really read bnha anymore lol.)

my genuine headcanon that horikoshi can't take away from me ever is that spinner didn't join the league through giran like dabi and toga, and presumably the rest of the gang, did. he just knocked on every shady looking door in the area until he got the right place. and all for one cannot hope to touch upon that kind of reckless dumbassery.

but overall it's like. so obviously he would have been around for the conception of lov 1.0 (usj shenanigans) and lov 2.0 (the vanguard action squad at forest training) and kind of lov 2.1 (kamino era) and one can put forward the argument that afo had influence over like, who giran brought forth to shigaraki to consider for the gang, and who shigaraki ultimately picked. there's a basis there in the league origins, if he's going to be THAT much of a helicopter mom. he can also have influence over the league in that era post-plf raid and pre-current final battle. most obviously over spinner, but even if he didn't give dabi and toga quirks and directly manipulate their fidelity to shigaraki, he's still would have rallied them and most others up for that final battle.

but at the same time - afo could only have so much influence over why they chose to join the league, and chose to keep following shigaraki, why they want to strike back against a society that rejected them. the only person in the league he was directly historically involved with was dabi, who out of the league is probably the least close to shigaraki. during his prison era, afo couldn't influence how things shook out during the overhaul arc and how toga and twice became more loyal to each other and to shigaraki (hell even with the overhaul quirk reveal these leaks, and knowing that afo previously told shigaraki about overhaul the gangster, he had no say in shigaraki and overhaul actually meeting - that was twice). he had no say in the league's altercation with the mla, over spinner choosing to following shigaraki above all else, over redestro deciding to entrust the mla/plf to him. he didn't have anything to do with compress deciding to go assless in order to help shigaraki, spinner, and the rest escape the hero's clutches.

and like, even with all the claims he's making in these leaks, realistically all afo can do is set up scenarios. can he really actually control how tenko, or anyone else, reacts to those scenarious? sure apparently (UGH) he can have tomo-chan and mikkun set up to get hit by a truck so that tenko can save them and start getting dreamy ideas about heroism. but also tenko straight up could have just not saved them. he could have just been like wow that was a scary thing to witness. kids my age getting run over. that sucks so much. and then just go on with his life. tenko wanted to save those kids and then hang out with them! and he wants to be a hero to the league and other villains! if horikoshi wants to argue that this is all solely a result of afo's manipulations, then it's a really cruel form of character assassination.

but i am steadfast in that spinner was not a direct afo-approved league member. he just saw him and was like well, it can't hurt to let tomura have some vapid arm candy around. surely this won't result in anything.

[faeriecinna]

WIP Questionnaire (2.0)

I was tagged a second time by @finchwrites, so I'll do this for my second WIP too.

Project.Ink

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

As I mentioned in this post, as someone from an Irish family, I wanted to write a novel that paid homage to our folklore, so I decided to mess with the general concept of a 'changeling'. Rowan came to be when I tried to think up a character that was a faerie who, for some reason, believed they were a human - and the rest followed.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Not so much a theme song, but Rowan and Killeen's song is definitely Dying Star by Ashnikko and Ethel Cain. I'd probably have it playing in the background when Killeen realises who Rowan actually is to her.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

Rowan was the first character I created for this story so I do have a soft spot for her in my heart, but because I knew I wanted this to be a queer story, when I created Killeen I basically just turned my ideal woman into a lesbian fae warrior so??? of course I would die for her?? Plus being The Inquisitor for The Sidhe Court is kind of a slay, no?

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Never read it, but from what I've heard I can only assume ACOTAR peeps would be into it. If anyone has ever watched Zone Blanche/The Black Spot (spooky french supernatural murder drama), that is EXACTLY the vibe I'm going for - just Irish (and if you haven't watched it you should).

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

There are two parallel storylines in the story - Rowan's storyline when she is taken into the Fae realm, and the second storyline that follows the aftermath in her small town when her parents report her missing. I struggle a fair bit with actually writing the aforementioned second storyline because I get so caught up with all the lesbian dumbassery that I forget there is in fact a second layer to my plot.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Crows, ravens and other corvids are ALWAYS a motif in my stories. The Sidhe also have a strong supernatural connection to the flora and fauna so not only are there several different kinds of forest dwelling animals in the story, but most of the characters can communicate with them!

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Honestly for a fantasy book my setting/map is rather small so most of the travel is done by foot. I guess there'll probably be a few police cars involved and maybe some kind of sailboat at some point lmao

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

In the earlier stages of the first draft atm. I started this as a passion project only about 6 months ago even though I had the plot idea for a couple of years.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

Queer fae. Need I say more? Also I'm hoping the fact that there are a lot more spooky/horror elements to this story, as opposed to a lot of faerie narratives, will interest people. It's all going to be set in Ireland as well so that's another demographic that I hope will enjoy it!

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

It's a queer story where the characters are just... queer.... and in love... there's no homophobia, no "I'm gay and that's okay and normal!", no having to come out - it just is right from the get go, a gay story about gay girls being gay without that being the focal point of the narrative - so I hope that if it ever gets published, it'll be a book that queer people can go to when they need a spooky gay fantasy without any of the trauma and alienation that we feel as queer people irl. I hope people connect to the story and take some comfort in the darkness.

And I'm gonna tag @sleepywriter00 @akiwitch and @eccaiia

(blank under the cut)

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

[ratsoh-writes]

https://www.tumblr.com/ratsoh-writes/756940621045972992/i-remember-reading-this-ye-olden-story-and-the

One of the big points in the story is that the main character is unironically very dumb:

-They forget their own name once

-They accidentally sell their soul to a demon in a dream for a horse. A horse that turns out to suck and be murderous, so not even a worthwhile deal

-They were armor made of sticks of all things??? Like why sticks, that’s how you get splinters not to mention forest twigs will do little to protect against damage

-They stab a guy and doesn’t realize that stabbing people makes them die.

-They gain invincibility through a magic ring and don’t even realize that their suddenly not getting injured anymore

And much more dumbassery occurs throughout the story, to hilarious effect, though the story treats it seriously rather then as comedic

Oh gosh, if one punch man had an intelligence score of 3

[lanabenikosdoormat]

Lilac, steel and forest! 😊

CATOOOOOO this was out of pocket (thank you i appreciate it so much 🫶🏻) i hope my dumbassery and tomfoolery is most endearing to not just you, but everyone else!

super honored you you think my work is beautiful i will sob right NOW

[a-queer-query]

radioactive chemicals green, forest green and maroon for the ask game mutuals thing :D

Radioactive chemicals green: "hey homie dude bro bestie" + forest green: "if someone told me u were a cryptid I would be surprised but not like. That much" + maroon: "we are equally dumbasses and ily for that (among other things)

Sup!

Alas I have not yet achieved cryptid status, maybe one day. I'd accept that one as a compliment lol

And what's life without a bit of dumbassery?

<3333

[notmuchtoconceal]

- Yo Broey. Got a minute?

- Several. What's on your mind, Brother Jacek?

- Not much, tell you the truth, bro. It's more like … I can feel myself engaged in a process wherein I return, with sometimes subtle, yet sometimes extreme, variance to the same spot, with a repetition which would seem to be carving a shape into my mind, or like … mind being abstract, the neuronal circuitry from which my mind seems projected.

- You fear your ruminative thinking is trampling hiking paths through the bright and splendid open field of your mind, leaving spiderwebs as seen in aerial which not only jostle the natural beauty of your thought's own carriage and environs, but may tempt you, again and again, down roads which you are better sealing with fresh sod and seed, to create simply uniform splendor?

- Yeah, so. Not sure if if I'm more impressed with how well I seemed to articulate something which can't really be said to be real, as it occurs only in a lil TV window inside my skull nobody else can see into, or like… if it's that you were able to just run with that and carry the metaphor … the metaphor which I'm now realizing is simply the practical marriage of image to idea, and not like … I don't know. A way for people to trick you into thinking one thing is another thing. It's more like… a thing is already more than one thing and by constructing our language in certain ways, we can highlight rather than obscure what seem to be such true and beautiful terrors. 

- The true error of time is hardcoded into the nature of linear sequence. That one moment must be one moment, isolated from the whole, biases our readings of subject and event, for it forces us to extrapolate from an incomplete picture; the negative space of which we may fill only with our own projections. One may hold multiple ideas in their head at the same time, ponder disparate subjects near-simultaneously out of time, but one may only speak one thing at a time, feel one feeling with its completeness at a time. The intensity of a thing being complete within the moment, but that completeness being far from the completeness of the whole, induces such palpitating anxiety in some poor souls. It seems as though people change, rather than simply reveal. It makes one think all change is permanent, rather than simply one reaction to an action, waiting to be re-fulfilled by a corresponding and reciprocal reaction which is itself an action. 

- Sometimes it's like I feel real fuckin high when I talk to you, bro. Even though I know I'm sober. It's like I feel sober. But I'm also definitely fuckin high. There's a dizziness. There's shakes. The blood is rushing through my face and my teeth are orchestra pits waiting to line up and string. Yet also… I'm still totally clear-headed. My capacity to think is not at all diminished; in fact, it feels subtly to incomprehensibly vastly increased. Feels totally casual, though, like, yeah… Right now, I'm sorta leanin into how awestruck I am, but as I was sayin that shit, it's like … it felt totally normal, and I think there was only a second afterward where I was like … huh.

- Truthfully, Brother Jacek, you likewise induce a strange paradox in me wherein I feel more totally myself by absolutely diminishing myself. There are times where you are so fascinating to consider, I would simply like to give myself all time and be beguiled by your speech, for every word feels like the unsprawling of a sonic pattern which reveals the true boundless expanse of that open grassland that you are! To think, even now, I can hear the deep forest calling beyond!

- I'm the cultural inheritor to the proud Knights of Dumbassery, bro. Where I come from, people don't talk this way. I find it hard to believe people talk this way where you're from either.

- Where I come from, people only talk this way in books.

- Pretty as I picture.

- Where I am, I would prefer many more to talk this way on-platform. 

- Put your words in my mouth, bro.

- My foreign tongue tantalizing you, tip to tip, to tunnel into your darkest recesses.

- Turn all syntax into sodomy, gushing flourishes of grapevines and goat dick.

- An herbaceous cheese to warm our spread. The spelt sacrament of us, flavored by the purest and the blackest salts; volcanic springs in which we let seep our tea.

- Take me, bro. I'm a slack jawed mute fit only to drool and flex for you. 

- You're a majestic steed. You will take me far, riding you long into the night, til upon the cliff edge you rear up so safe and well-reigned in your bridle, together we meet the rising dawn.

- My king … mount me as a knight, depart me as a God. 

- To heaven you will come with me. I would not leave behind such a loyal friend.

- Bro.

- There.   

[bhawk-goose]

if I ever play dnd it'll prob be when I'm older cuz I don't have a friend group rn(I have friends, but most of my friends aren't friends with eachother) and I don't have the patience to read through the player's handbook and whatever other books are used for a campaign, so I prob wouldn't have the patience for combat either. And my sleep schedule is nonexistent so that'd also be an issue for scheduling meetups ahead of time.

Despite all of that I still like imagining what kind of character I'd play if none of that stuff was true and I kinda feel like sharing this particular one. It'd need either a pair of people or a really lenient DM cuz the character concept is a duo. One orc(or some other large and powerful race) barbarian(Fighter, monk, and paladin would probably also work, but I think Barbarian's unarmored defence works pretty well for this as long as the DM isn't too strict about what counts as armor) and a goblin(any small race works, I just like the mental image of a goblin and orc for this) bard(sorcerer and warlock could also work since they're both charisma casters, but bard is just what comes to mind for me when I think of a high charisma character). The orc would be the muscle, and have a baby carrier sort of thing for the goblin, who'd act as a representative for the duo. The bard could also have decent int and also act as the brains, but the idea would also work as just two dumbasses with different roles in their dumbassery, it just depends on the campaign. Either way it'd be kinda like the image below but a less extreme size difference.

For the backstory I was thinking my character(the orc) would've been abandonded as an infant and left in the woods, except instead of being raised be wolves like a normal forest baby, they were adopted and raised by a family of goblins, and the goblin bard is their brother.

Their old family also could've been killed, and now they and their brother are trying to find whoever was responsible, but if that's the case the reasoning wouldn't be "I have to get revenge on this guy who killed my family" since they don't have any memories of their genetic family and were perfectly happy with their goblin family, but the reasoning would be more seperated, like sure this guy didn't kill MY family, but they still killed a bunch of orcs.