#ford having an axolotl is the best thing

[phoannix]

“CHONKY BOI”

so fucking real ford <33

[gay-dorito-dust]

hi!! could you maybe write for being the younger sibling of dipper and mabel? maybe the reader is like, 9/10 y.o i wonder what they're sibling relationships would be as well as they're relationship with stan and ford

They say a bond between twins is a bond unlike any other, but didn’t mean that dipper or Mabel cared about you any less then they did each other, you were their baby sibling and they were always going to have your back no matter what.

Dipper would be the protective older brother who’s sometimes come across as strict and would often forbid you from joining him and Mabel on monster hunts, stating that you were too young to be doing something as dangerous as hunting monsters.

You’d naturally respond with the fact that technically he and Mabel were also too young to be going head on into monster hunting too, so thereby making the statement redundant and him look like a hypocrite. To which Dipper would agree with you on but still would tell you it was too dangerous for you, he only wants to keep you safe but you had too much of a stubborn spirit to be easily swayed into staying put.

Mabel on the other hand was the chill sibling who’d let you join in the monster hunting any day because she didn’t want you feeling left out. After all it was kinda a family thing to hunt the unknown of gravity falls at this point, so she didn’t see why you shouldn’t come along with her and Dipper because as long as you had the journal with you, you were fine.

You tend to argue with dipper more than Mabel but that’s because dipper tended to take himself too seriously as your older brother while Mabel doesn’t take herself seriously enough. So whenever you and dipper did argue, Mabel tended to be the peace keeper between the two of you or use Waddles as a distraction from your arguing to come together.

Despite all this you, Dipper and Mabel were loyal and faithful to one another that there wasn’t anything any of you wouldn’t do for the other.

Dipper would give up everything to keep you and Mabel safe as he knew you and her would do the same and you did on multiple occasions, saving each other’s lives and so on. You all headed into the unknown together, never once thinking of leaving the other behind because if one of you were to go down, the other two would rush to your side and pick you back up.

You helped dipper decode stuff and listen to him drone on about Wendy from time to time while playing dungeons, dungeons and emore dungeons with him and Grunkle Ford.

You’d help Mabel bedazzle everything in sight and spend time with her, Candy and Grenda on the odd occasion of doing karaoke with her and grunkle Stan whenever the occasion calls for a bit of fun.

You were best friends with Dipper and Mabel as much as you were siblings and that was the best kind of relationship you had.

Also if Mabel had waddles then you have a pet raccoon or maybe an axolotl like Ford once did.

If dipper was similar to Ford

And if Mabel was similar to Stanley

Then you were the perfect balance of both of them. Stubborn and sometimes silly like Stan but curious and observant like Ford.

Stan and Ford could clearly see bits and pieces of themselves in you like they could with Dipper and Mabel, with the only difference being that you weren’t a twin nor had a twin but that didn’t stop either Grunkle from wanting to spend time with you.

They had to play rock, paper, scissors against one another to see who’d get to spend time with you first, only for Stan to come out the victor.

Stan would teach you how to box first and foremost so that if anyone tried anything with you, they’d get decked in the face from a vicious right hook. He just wants you to be able to protect yourself even if you were only 9/10 it didn’t make a difference to him really.

Teaches you on how to con people out of their money, lie effortlessly and make quick get aways or even how to get out of handcuffs without trying. Did he once give you a fishing hat with your name stitched on it for the soul purpose of taking you fishing with him when Dipper was with Ford and Mabel was with Candy and Grenda? Yes, he wanted something only you and him could do together that was just yours and his.

Cuz it was either that or commit arson and or property damage to other competitors.

Now with Ford he’ll probably have you be outside with him and documenting strange looking mushrooms and or flowers that you’d come across. It sounds boring but it’s quite fun if you came across fairies and the like, however the moment Ford sees that you were about to fall into a Fae trap, he’s picking you up and getting you as far away from it as he could.

Just like Stan, Ford wanted something that was just for you and him, sure he and Dipper go monster hunting, and he and Mabel dressed up as witches once, but he wanted something he could do with just you.

You’d bond over the fact that you both had/have a pet axolotl.

You and Ford probably took a break from your joint documenting to make flower crowns for one another while having a small picnic in the woods. It was peaceful and relaxing to you but Ford was keeping an eye out to make sure nothing would disturb your little picnic, while looking as menacingly as he could with a cute flower crown on his head.

If you both found a flower that was never seen before, you can bet your ass that Ford is naming it after you, no questions asked.

Stan and Ford are just as protective of you as they are the twins and they can and will step in between you and whoever is making you uncomfortable, all the while keeping you safely behind them as Stan whips out his brass knuckles and Ford shows off the gun on his hip in a silent threat.

Nobody messes with their family and they’ll make sure that message is loud and clear.

Bonus; Bill would probably try to manipulate you into thinking that neither dipper, Mabel, Stan or Ford cared about you cuz twins will look out for each other always but you were the spare sibling that gets forgotten, Insisting Stan and Ford’s brother as reason as to why but you knew your family better then a sentient one eyed triangle did and know that your family would always come through for you time and time again.

And they have and they always will no matter what.

[junibgoode]

hurt people hurt people: gravity falls

i haven't read the book of bill but pls stay with me here.

I've seen a lot of people discuss how fiddleford was very there for ford during the bill stuff. many people pointing out how bill and fords relationship is all written like an abusive one with the unreliable narrator of ford. and how fiddleford is his only solace in that. the person, real human person with his best interests in mind, who is there for him.

but i think we lack discussion in how fiddleford is also getting hurt in this case. like the axolotl thing. and every other instance where he tries to do something nice for ford, where hes there but ford is cold to him(as alex hirsh has mentioned him doing before). this is also something relating to the messed up relationship shown between bill and ford. its not uncommon for someone in an abusive relationship to start isolating the other relationships in their life.

and fiddleford keeps coming back. ford is the most important person in his life. and hes being hurt, not by manipulation and things said, but by being ignored. by trying to help his friend, only to still have to watch the virus of his mind(bill) be stronger.

i personally do think ford and fiddleford felt romantic things about each other. at least, i'd definitely say fiddleford didnt feel entirely platonic things about ford. and neither did bill. and i think fords feeling towards bill cant be cleanly called much of anything, only that he was fascinated and enraptured by bill. and that he often revered his perspective.

so ford cares for fiddleford a great deal. hes his only remaining human connection, and he does treasure what fiddleford does. but hes still cold to him. he still ignores fiddlefords warnings and concerns.

fiddleford is playing second fiddle. to fords endeavors and bill.

and because of his fixation on helping ford and exploring science with ford, hes abandoning his family. hes ignoring his wife, and presumably kids. hes neglecting his own self worth because clearly its somewhat connected to fords treatment of him and where he lies in the lab. and just like ford, hes neglecting and isolating the people in his life who actually care about him and have his best interests in mind.

bill is hurt. he hurts ford with his love for him. ford hurts fiddleford. fiddleford hurts his family.

hurt people hurt people, and i think alex hirsch is a genius and did a fantastic job of portraying just how toxic situations play out.

[ampblamp]

AU: Here's How Billford Can Still Win

(part 1: make that triangle miserable)

tl;dr: i want bill to have his ability to live in denial about what he did shattered by several important figures from his past BEFORE he can enact weirdmageddon. this way the yaoi can be messy and toxic (at first) but NOT doomed. it's self indulgent for sure but i'm doin my best to keep it IC as i can 🫡

this first post is just me figuring out how i think things would have to go down on bill's end for billford to have any chance of working out. take my hand. come away with me to my autism world

i'm still figuring out all the details of what would have to change to like. weaken bill's mental defenses enough because he HAS been able to shove his guilt down for so long. i do think everything with ford would be one of the key factors cause he had never connected so much with any of his prior human partners and obviously things souring fucked him up enough to have a turbo breakdown. (i know it's also because of the amount of times the plan has failed but i think he's also feeling rejected by so many humans not liking him lolll)

i think his breakdown after getting wasted at o'sadley's would happen like in canon, save for its repercussions. once bill starts thinking about his mom and everyone else from euclydia around when he's about to be arrested, maybe it would open the door for thoughts of them to keep slipping through his defenses. and suddenly thinking about weirdmageddon and hearing himself and other people talking about it could have a chance of triggering him.

i know personally that trauma can jump in and completely drag you back in time regardless of any logic, and i think him having that kind of episode sooner might be the key to getting him to face that he doesn't want to keep repeating what he did to euclydia because it's never going to be enough to convince the small, small voice in his head saying 'stop'.

because that's just the thing. bill has forced himself down a path of destruction to Prove to himself that its actually for the best to tear down "miserable reality" and replace it with his own vision. his drive and impatience to get weirdmageddon going is BECAUSE he wants to permanently cement that narrative in his mind with the ultimate "proof". because if the narrative fails, not only will he not be able to mentally cope (without help) he'll completely fail the henchmaniacs, who he promised a new home, and look vulnerable and weak, which he's TRAINED them to view as what should be destroyed.

i think the o'sadley breakdown and my proposed worsened repercussions of it would destabilize him, but it wouldn't be enough to stop him. what would push bill over the edge in this hypothetical would be several powerful entities from bill's past like the axolotl, the oracle, and time baby working together to somehow target his mental weak point. cause remember, time baby canonically KNOWS bill's weak point.

also like. To Me. the axolotl and the oracle are people bill was close to and has seen himself in at one point* but they matured and he didn't, and that's why he's SO hostile towards them.

*the oracle being an ex-henchmaniac is canon but i say this about the axolotl because of xolotl. look him up, it'll freak your bean.

alsooooo... ford not being as immature and vengeful as bill hoped he was is probably why bill broke down so hard - because it reminded him of the axolotl and the oracle. all the people who he actually connected with on a deeper level have left because of the same reason. but bill was always too terrified to confront everything he's done, which would be necessary to follow them.

so ends part 1... next, i think i'm gonna try to figure out how ford and bill would meet again (haha). ford is sucked into the portal right after (maybe even during?) the whole o'sadley's deal iirc sooo... fun point in the timeline to play with!

also hopin to draw stuff for this AU in the future :]c calling upon the power of my newly aquired ADHD meds lmao

[nuttersincorporated]

Gravity Falls fanfic I’m too lazy to write

Bill Cipher has been in the Theraprism a LONG time. It’s a good thing the Theraprism is in the neutral zone, outside of time because – if clocks worked there – he would have been there for 42 lifetimes of the universe.

It’s been slow work but Bill has made some progress. He’s at a point where he’s confronted the horrible things he’s done. He’s no longer living in denial and hiding behind a cheery façade. Unfortunately, he’s now deep in self-loathing and he’s been there for a long time, unable to move forward and grow.

Then the unthinkable happens. Something happens to the Theraprism and Bill takes his chance. He ends up back in our universe.

Half dead, glitchy and weak, Bill starts traveling backwards through his own timeline. Everywhere and when he finds himself, he desperately trying to change how things turned out and thwart his past self’s plans.

Bill arrives the day before ‘Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future’ and enters Mabel’s dream.

“Mable! Tomorrow you’re going to have a really bad day. I know you don’t want summer to end but when the Time Traveller turns up and offers you more time, don’t give him anything!

It’s a trap. I’ll be… he’ll be…

Look I’m from the future and past me possessed him. Just ask him to take off his goggles so you can see his eyes.”

He jumps further back. Dipper has been trying to guess the password to the laptop for two days and he’s getting nowhere. Bill’s past self is going offer to give Dipper a ‘clue’ in a few days time but current Bill gets there first.

“Dipper! Don’t scream! Everything’s fine! … or it will be. Just shut up and listen! This is important!

The password is ‘Stanford’ and the laptop was made by McGucket. The Journals were written by your Grunkle Ford. He fell through a portal 30 years ago and your Grunkle Stan’s been secretly trying trying to get him back ever since. He’s going to succeed.

Don’t ever make a deal with me. I can’t be trusted and the price is always too high.”

Bill jumps back again and again and again. The thing is, he’s been chased. Time Baby wants the Time Anomaly Removal Crew to catch him because his actions are causing new timelines to splinter off from what Time Baby sees as the ‘canon’ one. Bill’s old guards/therapists want to catch him and drag him back to the Theraprism for more treatment.

However, the worst danger Bill is in, is from his past self. He’s traveling back down his own timeline after all and his past self is always nearby.

Past Bill hates what he sees as a pathetic, broken version of himself. If he ever catches himself, first he’ll find out what happened to make a future version of himself turn out this way so he can avoid making the same mistakes. Then, he’ll kill this miserable excuse of a Bill Cipher. There’s only room for one of them and past Bill is going to make sure he comes out on top.

Current Bill never actually planned any of this out. He’s doing the best he can. If he has any sort of aim, it’s to make it back to before he killed his home universe. Hurt and weaken as he is, Bill still thinks if he makes it back that far, he can probably kill his younger self. Either way, he doesn’t plan to ask the Axolotl for another chance this time around.

[trangenderstan]

Okay but i adore the way the website continues Bill and Stan parallels but finally leads them out of conspiracy theory territory.

I love the fact that Bill got attached to Ford because Ford essentially represents all the best parts of himself. He's smart, self-sufficient. He's incredibly talented at so many things. And he's trusting, which made Bill feel a genuine connection

But then Stan is everything Bill hates about himself, everything he's trying to run from and hide behind his delusion of grandeur. The fact that Axolotl's poem can be so closely related to Stan is proof of it. But unlike Bill, Stan is a genuine , loving person. He finds a place in life not through spite or hatred, but through love of his family and it drives Bill mad.

I love the website so much.

!! I HAVE NOT YET READ BOOK OF BILL DON'T SPOIL ME PLEASE EVEN IF IM LIKE. DEATHLY WRONG !!

[clownstellation]

ALRIGHT!! Things i tried that had results under the cut!

Also, if you found one that isnt here, please tell me!!

AXOLOTL

Bill

DEATH

FORD

PACIFICA

TRIANGLE

WENDY

BLIND EYE

MABEL(the best One so far)

EUCLYDIA

PINES

ROBBIE

STANLEY

CIPHER/BILL CIPHER (these have the same result

TJ ECKLEBURG (again)

WADDLES

MASON

DIPPER

BOOK OF BILL

PINATA

DISCO GIRL

SOOS

MYSTERY SHACK

BLANCHIN

BABY

FIDDLEFORD/MCGUCKET

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

only other post for today

i keep thinking about ford that comes back through the portal wrong, but in the sense that he accidentally destroyed the axolotl and is now The Multiverse

he can completely wipe people out of existence if he wants (but he doesn't, cause. why would he. bill's already dead at this point, so he has no reason to ever go that far). this is a very big deal for him- what if he accidentally erases stan? or mabel or dipper? or fiddleford? or anyone really? he is not a fan of the idea of this happening, so he tries his best to focus on smaller changes to his environment

mabel says she wants yarn or a specific stuffed animal? bam, she's got it in her arms. dipper wants to chase after a highly dangerous anomaly? bam, every instance of that anomaly is completely docile towards him and, just in case, ford's gonna go with him so he can make sure no other anomalies ambush him while they're studying the now harmless creatures they set out to find

he also uses this to mess with stan (ford knows stan gets annoyed at worse and, thus, is safe to do this with. he made sure his brother was well aware of all that he could do beforehand)

for example, a situation where ford is explaining why different species have different blood colors and how that works etc. etc. and stan asks if clear blood is a thing. ford pauses before going 'now it is'. stan has no idea what he means until he accidentally nicks himself on a taxidermy project later that day and discovers that his blood is transparent. ford chuckles and turns it back (plus heals the wound cause hey that wasn't meant to be part of the joke so it doesn't get to stay), no harm done (except gaining stan's ire for the rest of the day)

when he asks stan to sail, stan asks him if he's going to conjure up a boat. ford says no, and that he's actually hoping to keep the reality warping to a minimum, since he wants the trip to be as authentic as possible. stan agrees to get their hands on a boat the normal way, and ford reserves the bending of space-time for serious wounds and illnesses

(stan asks him to help fix an issue with the stanleymobile once. ford tells him there's nothing he can do. stan argues back that 'you can wipe entire dimensions out of existence, but you can't fix a car?'. ford tells him he doesn't know anything about cars, so yeah. stan's completely right about that.)

that's all the thoughts i have on that for now (and for the entire rest of today and maybe tomorrow and maybe the day after tomorrow too. of course, i'll have to do the next round of the tourny pretty soon, but that shouldn't be an issue, i think. i can just post everything and then nope out as soon as i'm done)

[thelastspeecher]

Weird Little Critter - Chapter 2: Study

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 AO3

Here's the next chapter of the thing @elishevart and I have been working on together! Enjoy some quality axolotl Ford moments!

——————————————————————————————

              The sun had just begun to peek over the horizon when Angie sat bolt upright in bed, abruptly overcome by the events of the night before.  She threw her covers off and ran to the bathroom.  She had to reassure herself it hadn’t all just been a dream.

              The bathroom door still lying on the floor indicated that at least some of what she remembered was true.  Angie made a mental note to track down a toolbox from somewhere to fix it later.  She crept through the doorway as silently as she could, holding her breath as she approached the bathtub.  Her breath escaped in a soft gasp when she saw the mysterious creature still sleeping below the surface of the water.

              Getting a good look at Ford’s strange form in the light of the day, when she was fully lucid, made it possible for her to notice more subtle details.  His light pink skin along his back had stray tiger stripes of a barely lighter pink.  He had random spots of black and light green that looked more like freckles than the kind of coloration that helped with camouflage.  His caudal fin was a baby blue, as were his external gills and the tuft of material on top of his head in the same shape as his hair.  His external gills flicked slowly, matching the pace of his breathing.  Ford rolled over onto his back, exposing his solid white belly.  Angie barely held back a squeal at just how adorable the movement had been.  It reminded her of one of the many kittens the farm cats had back home.

              All right, best get out of this room ‘fore I get overwhelmed by the cuteness and wake ‘im up.  Angie glanced at the window above the tub.  The moon was still in the sky, but slowly drooping behind the tree line.  She had some time before Ford returned to normal.

              Angie hurried back to her room, grabbed her camera, and took a few photos of Ford.  Then, she went to get dressed and brushed her teeth in the kitchen sink.  She didn’t want to be in the bathroom, just in case her friend transformed back to a fully nude human while she was brushing her hair.  A faint blush spread across her cheeks at the thought.

              Once she was ready, Angie grabbed a pencil and new field notebook, then sat down at the kitchen table to jot down what she had observed thus far.

              His features are broadly similar to that of an axolotl, though that could be a false lead.  Angie tapped her pencil against the paper, thinking.  The traits that make him resemble an axolotl, namely the external gills and caudal fin, aren’t inherent to axolotls.  They’re just juvenile traits that have been retained to adulthood.  Presumably, any salamander that retained those traits would be axolotl-like in appearance.  Ford’s also far bigger than any axolotl I’ve ever heard of.  There are larger salamanders out there, but none of them have the coloration that Ford has.  Of course, the coloration he has doesn’t fit an axolotl well, either.  I don’t think even leucistic axolotls look like that…

              Angie had been chewing on her thoughts and idly writing them down when she heard noise coming from the second floor.  Water splashed, followed by a loud thud and soft grunt of discomfort.  She smiled.

              ‘Bout time he woke up.  Angie got up from the table and got started on breakfast.  By the time Stanford entered the kitchen, wearing clean clothes but his hair still damp, the small room had been filled with the smell of brewing coffee.  Ford made a beeline for the coffeemaker and poured himself a cup.  Only after he took his first sip did he notice Angie standing at the stove, watching him with amusement.

              “Oh!”  Ford startled slightly.  Angie chuckled.  “I, uh, I didn’t realize you were…”

              “It’s okay.  Ya needed yer coffee to fully wake up.  I get it.”  Angie shrugged.  “Rarely is there a day that I don’t take quite some time to shake off the sleep m’self.”

              “Are you making breakfast?” Ford asked.  Angie looked down at the skillet sizzling away in front of her.  She looked back at her friend.

              “I certainly hope so,” she drawled.  Ford turned pink.

              “You didn’t have to.”

              “Do we have to have this conversation every time I make food fer us?  I was raised right, Stanford.  Now, sit down.  The eggs ‘re almost done.”  Ford obeyed and went to the table.  He sat in the chair Angie had been occupying, raising an eyebrow at the open notebook with her observations.

              “You’ve gathered quite a few notes in a short amount of time,” he remarked, flipping through the pages.  Angie smiled.  She carefully slid an omelet onto a plate and placed it in front of Ford, then grabbed her own and sat across from him.

              “I’m a quick learner ‘n observer.  It’s what I was trained to do.  Ya don’t always get much time with critters, so you’ve got to be able to notice a lot ‘bout ‘em fast.  It helps that I had a bit of a head start with the rumors I heard.  But most of m’ notes are just speculation and comparison between critters I know ‘bout.”  Angie paused to eat a few forkfuls of her breakfast.  “I know I said you resemble an axolotl, but I ain’t quite sure anymore.”  Ford swallowed his mouthful of food before replying.

              “Because of my size?” he asked, sounding slightly sheepish.  Angie chuckled.

              “Yer definitely bigger ‘n any axolotl ever recorded, but there are some salamanders out in Asia what are even bigger ‘n you!”

              “Really?”

              “Oh, yes.  The zoo I used to work fer had one of ‘em Chinese giant salamanders.  That sucker was just ‘bout as big as me.”  Angie chewed her breakfast for a few moments.  “Yer features in that other form don’t resemble any single salamander I know of.  Could be a hybrid or maybe even a whole new species.  Frankly, given that yer some sort of were-critter, anything is possible!  Ain’t that excitin’?”  Ford was silent.  He poked his omelet halfheartedly.  “…Stanford?”

              “To be frank…”  He set down his fork with a loud sigh.  “This is exciting.  Or rather, it would be, were I not the subject.  This is all rather overwhelming.”

              “I understand.”

              “But even with being overwhelmed, I am still most excited to finally get some answers about what happened to me, what I’ve become.”  Ford offered a weak smile.  Angie returned the expression.  “I look forward to picking your brain further and discussing our own observations.”

              “Yessir,” she said with a nod.  “I reckon we can talk and plan after we go to the store.”

              “Pardon?” Ford asked.

              “Stanford, I told ya, yer current lifestyle ain’t beneficial fer whatever kind of creature ya are now.  After breakfast, we’re headin’ to the store to find some dif’rent body care items.”

              “But-”

              “I ain’t takin’ no fer an answer,” Angie said firmly.  She got up from the table and set her empty plate in the sink.  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve needed the restroom fer quite some time.”

-----

              “Can’t believe they didn’t have a single thing I was lookin’ fer,” Angie’s voice carried through the door of Ford’s bedroom.

              “Are you still thinking about that?” Ford asked as he removed his clothes.  He could feel a tingling sensation beginning to spread across his skin, as though he was getting goose bumps on his entire body.  The full moon was going to rise soon.  “This is a small town.  I have to order most of my more specialized equipment to be mailed in.”

              “I know,” Angie whined.  Despite a fervent and thorough search of the various shops in town earlier that day, they returned home empty-handed when Angie couldn’t find any of the items on her list.  “I got too used to livin’ in a big city where ya can find everything ya need without leavin’.”  She sighed.  “I guess we’ll just have to go to Eugene at some point.”

              “We don’t have to.  I’ve been fine thus far.”

              “That ‘fine’ is very debatable,” Angie said firmly.  “And think about it like a scientist, Stanford.  We’ll learn more ‘bout yer condition if we learn how to make ya operate on the same level ya were ‘fore it happened.”

              Dammit.  She has a point.

              “Yer not sulkin’, are ya?” Angie teased.  “Don’t worry, I ain’t always right.”  Ford chuckled despite himself.  Suddenly, the pricking sensation turned into needles.  He let out a gasp of pain.  Angie shifted outside the door.  “Stanford?”

              “Please…go downstairs,” Ford grunted.  Angie had managed to talk him into allowing her to listen to his transformation, but he knew she couldn’t stay.

              Like F, she has too kind of a heart.  It would pain her to hear what comes next.  To her credit, Angie didn’t try to argue.

              “Okay,” Angie said softly.  He heard her gently place her hand on the door.  “If ya can’t get out when yer done, smack yer tail on the floor three times ‘n I’ll let ya out.”

              “Under…stood,” Ford managed.  Pain flared through his flesh, seeping into his bones.  He wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.  Footsteps sounded as Angie walked away.  Once the footsteps faded, Ford dropped to all fours.  He screamed as his bones rearranged.  Six points around his head and neck itched, then burned when his gills erupted.  A similar sensation accompanied the growth of his tail.  The most painful part was over, but what remained was more uncomfortable.  Ford fell to his side, groaning.  He could feel his flesh rippling and shrinking, his skin changing.

              After what felt like hours, the lingering pain and discomfort finally faded.  Ford laid on the floor, panting.  He didn’t want to move.

              Angie’s waiting.  She’ll get worried if you don’t communicate with her in some way.  She might even take down another door.  Angie repaired the bathroom door after lunch, requiring only a bit of help, as she couldn’t reach the top hinge well.  Ford slowly, effortfully, got to his feet and traipsed over to the door.  He stood on his hind legs, using his tail to balance so that he could turn the doorknob.  To his relief, the door swung open with ease.

              “Stanford?” Angie called from downstairs.

              “I’m coming,” Ford squeaked.  His high-pitched voice was quieter than he expected.  He cleared his throat and tried again.  “I’m coming!”  Staying on his hind legs, Ford clumsily made his way to the stairs.  “Dammit.”  His vision, poor normally, was even worse in this form.  He reached out a paw to steady himself against the wall and, at an agonizingly slow pace, crept downstairs.  By the time he reached the first floor, Angie was already waiting.  “H-hello.”

              “Goodness, I just want to pick ya up and squeeze ya!” Angie burst out.  “Yer too cute, consarnit!”  Ford blushed.  “Okay, now I got that out of my system…”  She crouched down so that she was at his eye-height.  “Why did ya walk on yer hind legs?  Surely walkin’ on all fours would be easier ‘n more comfortable.”

              “I’m fine,” Ford said.  Angie pursed her lips.

              “If that’s what ya want to do, I can’t stop ya.  Now, come on over with me.  I’ve got all my equipment ready.”  Angie stood to her full height and walked into the living room.  Ford followed her, continuing to walk on two legs.  In the living room, Angie had placed a mat on the floor, which she directed Ford to stand on.  She sat cross-legged in front of him and began to take measurements.  When she measured the length of his external gills, her fingers brushed up against one.  The gill instinctively twitched.  Angie paused.

              “What?”

              “Did ya do that on purpose?”

              “No, it was a reflex.”

              “…Can ya do it on purpose?”

              “I don’t know.  I’ve never tried.”

              “Would ya mind tryin’ fer me?” Angie asked.

              “Um…”

              “Maybe next time,” Angie said, smoothly moving on.  Ford let out a small sigh of relief.  He wasn’t opposed to trying to move his gills on purpose, but he was feeling an extremely high level of anxiety.

              Even if I can move it, I doubt I could while being studied so intensely.  Angie continued to take her measurements, jotting each one down in her notebook.

              “There’s that done,” she said softly, setting the measuring tape aside.  She smiled at Ford.  “If you want, you can sit down.  I don’t need ya standin’ fer this next part.”  Ford gladly sat down, being careful to move his tail to the side so it wasn’t directly under him.

              “Now what?” he asked.

              “I’m just goin’ to make some qualitative notes on yer appearance,” Angie said.  She picked up Ford’s tail and gently ran her fingers along his fin.  “Texture, color, things of that nature.”

              “And then?”

              “Then I figured we could do some tests.  Walkin’, runnin’, checkin’ yer vision,” Angie rattled off.  She got up and walked around to look at Ford’s back.  He shivered as she traced her finger down his spine.  “I’m treatin’ this like the annual check-up ya get at the doctor’s.  It’ll give us a lot of data.”  Angie sighed heavily.  “I ain’t quite sure what to do with all the data, but that’s somethin’ we can discuss together.”  Ford nodded.  “After I’m done gettin’ measurements ‘n whatnot, I figure we’ll talk about yer experiences since becomin’ this critter.”

              “That sounds like a good idea,” Ford said.  He yawned widely.  He was still a bit tired from the previous night.

              “Oh!  Could ya open yer mouth again so’s I can look?” Angie asked eagerly.

              “Okay.”  Angie came around to Ford’s front again.  Ford opened his mouth.  Angie grabbed a small flashlight and shone it into his mouth, a look of concentration and curiosity on her face.  A look that Ford recognized as one he made on a regular basis.

              Is this how I act around the anomalies of Gravity Falls?  Angie muttered something under her breath and scribbled in her notebook.  Sweet Moses.

-----

              An alarm clock was going off somewhere.  Ford reluctantly opened his eyes, blinking away a crusty film that had formed while he slept.  Angie was slumped over, fast asleep, a few feet away, still in her now thoroughly wrinkled overalls and yellow T-shirt.  She even held a pencil limply in one hand.  Ford pushed himself up into a seated position.

              Shit.  We must have fallen asleep while discussing Angie’s observations.  He shivered.  Why am I so cold?  Angie grumbled something and sat up as well.  Their eyes met.  Angie’s gaze briefly dipped south before rocketing back up, her face beet red.  Ford suddenly realized why he was cold.  I am not wearing a single stitch of clothing.

              “I, um, I will go get dressed,” Ford stammered.  He stood up.  Angie’s face turned even redder.  She quickly looked away.  Ford turned around and bolted out of the living room.  As he dressed, he desperately tried to tamp down his embarrassment and humiliation at Angie seeing him completely nude.

              She was flustered by it as well.  Just like me, she’ll want to move on from it without any discussion.  Ford pulled on a turtleneck sweater, hoping it would stifle his shivers.  However, even fully clothed, he was still cold.  Ugh.  I hope I’m not getting sick.  He shrugged off the concern and returned downstairs.

              Angie was leaning against the wall, paging through her notebook, a thoughtful expression on her face.  Ford coughed quietly.  She looked up, smiled, and tucked her notebook under one arm.

              “I was just goin’ over some of my notes,” she chirped.  “I figure we can discuss ‘em durin’ breakfast?”  Ford nodded, relieved.

              As I hoped, Angie would like to avoid mentioning my nudity earlier as well.  He wiped his suddenly sweaty forehead.  Spots danced in front of his eyes.

              “So!” Angie said.  “What do ya want fer breakfast?”  Ford opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, his vision went completely black.

-----

              Ford awoke to the smell of something cooking in the kitchen.  He slowly pushed himself up into a seated position and took stock of where he was.  He was laying on the couch in the living room, a thick blanket gently laid on top of him.  There was a pillow where his head had just been resting.

              Angie must have moved me to the couch after I…wait, did I pass out?  But why?  Ford pressed a hand against his forehead, suddenly aware of a raging headache.  Why do I feel so horrible?

              “I left some water fer ya!” Angie called from the kitchen.  Ford looked over at the dinosaur skull he had repurposed as an end table.  Sure enough, a glass of water sat on it.  He picked up the glass, ignoring the dull, deep ache permeating through his entire body, and downed the entire drink.  “I would’ve liked a heads up that he’s so good at pushin’ himself to fallin’ down,” Angie continued.  Ford frowned, confused.  “Oh, hush.  I ain’t that bad.”  There was a pause.  “No, even ‘fore grad school I was better ‘n he is!”

              Oh.  She’s on the phone.  Presumably with F.  Ford leaned back and closed his eyes.  His head continued to throb painfully.  After a few minutes, he heard Angie hang up the phone and enter the living room.  He opened his eyes again.  She stood by the side of the couch, dressed in clean clothes and carrying a bowl in her hands.  Steam rose from it, along with a tantalizing smell.

              “I was awful shocked to see ya go down like that,” Angie remarked.  “Reminded me of the time a diabetic collapsed against me at the DMV.  But at least ya didn’t take me down with ya.”  She set the bowl down on the end table.  “I whipped up some vegetable soup.  Chicken is, in my opinion, more healin’, but we didn’t have any, and I didn’t want to leave ya alone to go shoppin’.”

              “Thank you,” Ford croaked.  He picked up the bowl and took a sip from it.  Like everything Angie made, it was delicious.  Angie frowned.

              “Ya sound awful!”

              “…Thanks.”

              “You know what I mean,” Angie scoffed.  “Sounds like ya were garglin’ with rocks.”

              “It feels like it, too.”

              “What happened?”

              “I’m not quite sure.”

              “I was just talkin’ to Fidds on the phone.  He told me ya have a tendency to push yourself too hard.  But it didn’t seem like ya pushed yourself too much recently.  Unless…”  Angie trailed off.  Ford looked at her curiously.

              “Unless what?” he asked.

              “Well…”  Angie sat at the end of the couch.  Ford made room for her.  “When we first woke up, I noticed somethin’ that ya tend to cover up with yer clothes.”  Ford felt his face promptly burn.  He quickly took another long drink of the soup to avoid eye contact with her.  Angie’s eyes widened.  “Not- not that!  No, I just- ya seem awfully scrawny to me.  Have ya been eatin’ right?”

              “I…”  Ford set the bowl in his lap and rubbed the back of his neck.  “I have lost some weight,” he confessed.  “Since I developed this…condition, my tastes seem to have changed.  Much of what I used to enjoy disgusts me, and what I can manage to choke down causes me to vomit roughly a third of the time.”

              “Hmm.”  Angie frowned at the floor.  “Could be that yer gastrointestinal system has been affected, same way yer skin has.  After all, salamanders don’t really eat what humans eat.”

              Great.  Yet another inconvenience with this condition.

              “I doubt that my struggles to find an appropriate diet were the cause of this particular loss of consciousness,” Ford said.  Angie looked at him.  “I’ve been dealing with it for quite some time.”

              “True,” Angie murmured.  She leaned over to rest the back of her hand against Ford’s forehead.  “Ya still feel a bit warm, but not as feverish as ya were when ya first passed out.  Maybe ya just caught a bug of some sort?”

              “Maybe.”

              That doesn’t feel like the right answer, but I don’t know what else it could be.

              “You should prob’ly spend the rest of the day on the couch.  Unless ya feel up fer makin’ yer way to yer proper bed?” Angie suggested.  Ford shook his head.  “Fair enough.”  She smiled sheepishly at him.  “Sorry I could only move ya to the couch.  I’m stronger ‘n I look, but no taller ‘n I seem.  The dif’rence in our heights kept me from takin’ ya to yer room more ‘n the dif’rence in our weights.”

              “It is quite all right.”

              “When ya transform tonight, you’ll be smaller, so’s I can take ya upstairs to the bathroom,” Angie continued.  She got up.  “But fer now, rest up.  I can stay in the livin’ room with ya if you’d like.  Or if ya don’t want anyone ‘round ‘cause ya don’t feel good, well, I can manage that, too.”  She looked at Ford for an answer.  When he didn’t respond, she prompted him.  “Stanford?”

              “I think I know why I became sick,” Ford said softly.  Angie cocked her head at him.

              “Oh?”

              “You mentioned bringing me to the bathtub tonight.”  Ford met Angie’s eyes.  “I spent the entirety of last night outside of the bathtub.”  Angie’s eyes widened.

              “Oh, shoot!”  She slapped her forehead.  “Ya done got dried out!”

              “It would appear so, yes,” Ford said softly.  Angie sighed.

              “Well, at least yer not sick with somethin’ contagious.”  She shook her head.  “Okay, we’ll have to make sure ya stay damp in the future, I guess.  At least while yer in yer amphibious form.”  Ford nodded.  “My question from ‘fore still stands.  Do ya want me to spend the day in the room with ya or go elsewhere?”

              “Um…”

              It’s been how long since I had company while I was sick?  Ford managed a small smile at Angie.

              “I may not be up for conversation, but merely having your presence in the same room would be quite nice,” he replied.  Angie beamed.

              “I’ve always been a proponent of the idea that ya get better faster when someone’s with ya,” she said cheerfully.  She picked up Ford’s empty glass of water.  “I’ll top this off ‘n come back to look over some of the stuff I wrote last night.  You rest up, okay?”

              “I shall do so gladly.”  Ford downed the rest of the soup and set the empty bowl on the end table.  He then spread out on the couch, laid back, and closed his eyes.  There was a soft breeze as Angie passed by him to set his filled glass of water down, then footsteps as she went to the table in the corner of the room.  He opened one eye.  “I heard some of your conversation with Fiddleford.”

              “Did ya?”

              “Yes.  Apparently, you are prone to pushing yourself when you should not?”

              “Not as much anymore.  Had to stop doin’ that in grad school or I would’ve had a heart attack my first year.”

              “Before then, you engaged in that behavior?”

              “Yes.”

              “Interesting,” Ford murmured.  Angie laughed softly.

              “Are ya tryin’ to make me come off as a hypocrite fer pointin’ out ya shouldn’t do it?”

              “No,” Ford lied.  Angie laughed again.

              “Like I said, I don’t do it no more.  But I’ve still got the stubbornness what drove me to push myself past my limits.  And I don’t got any qualms ‘bout usin’ that stubbornness to fight yours.  So close both yer eyes and take a nap, Stanford!”

              Ford chuckled.  He closed his other eye and rolled over so he was facing the back of the couch.  Sleep came quickly.

-----

              “All right, I’m done!” Angie’s voice said.  Ford looked up from the book on amphibians she had lent him.  They were in Eugene, due to her insistence on purchasing supplies that couldn’t be located in Gravity Falls.  Thankfully, Angie had offered that Ford sit outside while she shopped in the specialty soap store.  She held up the shopping bag.  “I got ya plenty of things.”

              “I really don’t need-” Ford started.

              “Just think of ‘em as an early Christmas gift,” Angie said smoothly.  Ford raised an eyebrow.

              “I’m Jewish.”  Angie winced.

              “Then think of it as an early, uh, an early, uh…”  Angie was fumbling for the right words, speechless in a way that Ford had yet to see her.  Recalling how oblivious Fiddleford had been about Judaism when they first met, Ford took pity on her.

              “Hanukkah, perhaps?” he suggested, closing the book on amphibians.  Angie sighed in relief.

              “Yes.  Think of it as an early Hanukkah gift, then.”  Angie rubbed the back of her neck.  “I’m awful sorry, Stanford.  Fidds must’ve mentioned to me you were Jewish, but I plum forgot!”

              “Whether Fiddleford told you or not, I won’t hold it against you,” Ford said.  He stood and handed Angie’s book back to her.  She slipped it into her large purse.

              “I’m glad to hear that.  I didn’t mean to offend-”

              “I’m not offended,” Ford interjected.  Much like her older brother, Angie was perpetually worried about upsetting or offending her friends.

              “I just-”

              “Please, Angie, no need to drag this out.  That wasn’t the first time someone has assumed I am Christian, and it won’t be the last,” Ford said firmly.  Angie nodded.

              “Well, I hope that ya remain unoffended after our next stop,” she said.  Dread began to build in Ford’s gut.

              “Where are we stopping next?” he asked.  Angie smiled nervously.  Instead of answering, she took a few steps forward and opened the door of the adjacent store.  “A pet store?”  Angie nodded and entered the store.  “Do you plan on purchasing a pet?” Ford asked, following her inside.

              I would have liked some warning, but I don’t see how that would offend me.  Angie led Ford to the back of the store.  They stood in a dimly lit corner, surrounded by occupied terrariums filled with moss and logs.  Perhaps she wants to purchase a snake and is worried how I might react?  Another possibility presented itself.  Ford winced.  Sweet Moses, please no.  Anything but that.

              “No, I ain’t purchasin’ any critters,” Angie said slowly.  “I’m purchasin’ stuff fer critters.  Well.  One critter in particular.”  Angie met Ford’s eyes.  “You.”  His stomach plummeted to his feet, his fear realized.

              “No,” he whispered.  Angie nodded.  “Angie, you can’t-”

              “Trust me,” Angie hissed.  “I know what I’m doin’.”

              “You can’t buy items for me here!”

              “I don’t really have any other choice.  They don’t sell mealworms at the grocery store.”

              “Meal-”  Ford cut himself off and shook his head.  Angie used the pause to continue her argument.

              “Like I said, I know what I’m doin’.  I’ve got a degree in this, Stanford!”  She straightened her back firmly, with a confidence that made her very short height seem taller.  “Entertain yourself while I pick ya up some things.”

              “Ugh.  Fine,” Ford muttered, crossing his arms.  Angie playfully punched his shoulder before walking away.

              I hate this.  I hate this!  But…she truly does know what she’s talking about.  The full moon ended a few days ago, and with Ford fully recovered from being “dried out”, he and Angie had gone over her meticulous notes.  There were many instances in which he’d needed her to explain what she had written.  Herpetology truly is not my area of expertise.  I need to defer to her in matters regarding my condition.  Regardless of my personal feelings about it.  Ford took a deep breath.  Seriously, though, is she really going to try to feed me mealworms?

              “Dislike stranger.”  Ford’s head whipped around.  He was alone.

              I could have sworn…

              “Want food.”  Ford quickly zeroed in on where the voice had come from: a tank containing a bullfrog.  He cautiously walked up to it and crouched down to look at the little inhabitant.  The bullfrog eyed him with disdain.  “Dislike stranger,” it croaked again.

              “You- you can talk?” Ford whispered.

              “Strangers bad.”

              “How did you-” Ford started.  The bullfrog turned away and crawled into the log inside its tank.  “No, come back!  Talk to me!”

              A talking bullfrog!  What a charmingly mundane anomaly.  And one Angie would love.  Perhaps we should return to Gravity Falls with a pet.

              “Don’t bother, brother,” another voice said.  This time, it came from a tank to the left of the bullfrog and a bit higher, roughly at Ford’s eye-height.  The inhabitant of the tank was a black axolotl, eyeing Ford with fascination.  “Our tongue is too different from theirs to allow for much intelligent conversation.  Only the basics.”

              “…Our tongue?” Ford whispered.  The axolotl seemed amused.

              “The Salamander Tongue.”  It swam closer to the glass and looked Ford up and down.  “I’ve never seen a salamander like you before.”

              “That’s because I’m- I’m not a salamander,” Ford said quietly.  The axolotl cocked its head in a gesture that, oddly, reminded Ford of Angie and Fiddleford.  “Or, at least, I’m not usually one.”

              “Hmm.  I thought there seemed something odder about you than your shape,” the axolotl remarked.

              “What do you mean?” Ford asked.  The axolotl shrugged.

              “It’s difficult to put to an actual word.  I just have this feeling that, even if you looked like me, you’d seem different.  You’re a strange one.  Aren’t you?”

              “Many people have described me in that way.”

              “It’s the best way to be,” the axolotl said cheerfully.  The genuine tone made Ford smile.

              “Do you- could you have any idea why I am the way I am?” Ford asked, unable to keep desperation from spilling into his voice.  “I wasn’t always like this.  And like I said, I don’t take a salamander’s form often.  Just a few times each month.”

              “I’m not well-versed on magic, though many of us axolotls are.”  The axolotl stood a bit prouder.  “Our species tends to have innate magical abilities.”

              “Fascinating.”

              “Yes.  But because I’m not particularly skilled at magic, I don’t have any answers for you, brother.”

              “Oh.  I see.”

              “I can tell you something, however,” the axolotl said.  Ford perked up.  “Whether you take the shape of one of us or one of them, you are always one of us.  I can sense it.  Your being is salamander.  Not human.”  Ice spread through Ford’s veins.

              “Mom, look, look!”  A child sprinted into the corner, his beleaguered mother behind him.  The child pressed his face against the glass of a tank containing a tarantula.  “I want it!”  While the weary woman explained to her son that she wouldn’t purchase the tarantula, Ford placed his hand against the glass of the axolotl’s tank.  The axolotl placed one of its own tiny hands on the glass as well.  He smiled weakly at the salamander.

              “Stanford?”  Ford looked over his shoulder.  Angie had returned, carrying bags covered in the store’s logo.  “I’m all done.  We can head home.”

              “Ah.  Yes.”  Ford followed Angie out of the store.  He put his hands in his pants pockets as they walked past the storefronts of the strip mall.  “What did you purchase?”

              “All sorts of goodies.  Mostly worms ‘n crickets.”

              “You do realize that, even in my other form, they will be so small that the entire supply would be one or two meals,” Ford said.

              “I’ve read through that Journal of yours,” Angie said.  She grinned crookedly.  “Those size-changin’ crystals will help the bugs last us a while.”

              “Oh.  That’s quite clever.”

              “Thank you!  I also got ya some supplements.”

              “Supplements?”

              “Some amphibians and reptiles need extra calcium or things like that ‘cause their diet don’t simulate what they’d have in nature well enough.  I think it’d be a good idea to do the same fer you.  Just to see if it helps ya feel better.  If not, we don’t need to keep doin’ it.”

              “That sounds reasonable,” Ford replied.  He frowned.  “How do they taste?”

              “…I have no idea.”

              “You’ve never asked a salamander about that?” he teased.  Angie laughed.

              “I have, but I ain’t ever gotten an answer.  After all, they can’t quite talk.”

              “Maybe you just can’t understand their language,” Ford said.

              “Oh, and you can?”

              “Well…”

              “No!” Angie gasped.  She grabbed his arm.  “Stanford, you can understand salamanders?!”

              “Not so loud,” Ford hissed.  He grinned.  “But, yes.  Though I didn’t discover until today.”  Angie let out a squeal of delight.

              “Tell.  Me.  Everything!”

              “Gladly.”

-----

              When the man and woman got into their car, Melvin quickly backtracked, retreating to the closest pay phone.  The man and woman had been quiet enough to keep most people from overhearing them.  But Melvin wasn’t most people.  When he heard the woman’s initial squeal, he paid attention to the rest of the hushed conversation, following close behind the entire time.

              He was rewarded for his thoroughness.  The man was apparently harboring a magical secret.  A secret that one of Melvin’s clients would be interested in.  Getting his hands on the man would be easy enough.  But he would need someone else to do the transportation.  Luckily, he knew just the money-desperate soul for the job.

              Melvin put coins into the payphone and dialed the number.  After a few rings, the person on the other end picked up.

“Stan Pines.”

[gfanlocalcryptid]

Oh My ♥︎ - BillFord

In which Bill describes what he physically loves of Ford and things happen. Rating: Teen and Up Audience Words: 470 (wahoo)

Bill hated his human body. He hated it sooo much. Or at least that’s what he said to the others.

Simply he wasn’t really used to it. When the Axolotl said “A different form, a different time” he thought that the big pink space lizard meant that he would have had, who knows, another arm? Three eyes? His bricks would have been red or blue? Not being forced into this flesh bag.

After all, the only appeal of a physical form was that he could torture his enemies and victims himself, rather than tormenting them with frightening nightmares or possessing a third party, which was often quite complicated.

But now, with only a spark of his ancient powers, and under the Pines’ family control, he couldn’t hurt anyone. Badly, anyway.

Therefore his physical form was useless. Or that’s what he thought.

Of course, old Fez couldn’t stand him. They tried to bound a little, but it wasn’t working.

Pine Tree still resented him for planning to jump from the Gravity Falls’ water tower in his body (and maybe he was right).

Shooting Star was his best friend so far but, you know, she’s an amazing concentrate of chaos and glitter, so Bill couldn’t spend more than one hour with her without feeling extremely tired.

The only one he could (and in fact did) spend entire days together was Sixer. They were still a little bitter, but good old Fordsy had forgive him. Probably.

What matters is that Bill loved Sixer’s body. He knew every part of it, every scar, tatto and curve. After all, once it was his. Now Ford didn't much like that term, but then, oh, Brainiac would have done everything for Bill. He loved his dear muse.

Maybe he still did.

Often, Stanford let Bill touch him. He let the demon stroke his fluffy grey hair, caress gently his muscles and all the marks he had on his body.

It started casually. Bill was talking about how he liked Ford’s hands. Obviously that insecure disaster didn’t believe him, so Bill said that it was true, and that he also liked the scientist’s strong arms.

Ford didn’t respond, so Bill continued, and said that Ford’s blue* eyes reminded him of the night sky, and that his hair looked like cotton clouds.

Ford’s face was blushing, and Bill realised that he was too. Where did he find the guts to say that…?

The demon was ready to apologise, when unexpectedly Ford said that Bill’s golden eye reminded him of his triangular form’s bricks.

One thing led the other, and they both found themselves nearly naked in Ford's bedroom. They didn’t have that kind of intimate intercourse, but it became a sort of routine.

And Bill thought-for a second, for the time of a breath- that maybe they were healing.

*I headcanon that Ford has blue eyes.

[jacky-rubou]

Will you tell us the secrets of what fanon you disagree with so much?? Regardless of your answer, i love your blog!! You got Good Content

*points at the fanon characterization of Ford as a whole with much distaste*

Fanon Ford is a selfish arrogant narcissist who manipulates Dipper to do what he wants because he idolizes him, while wholly neglecting or sometimes even outright hating Mabel for being like Stan, only cares if he gets the glory, personally kicked Stan out onto the streets and hates his guts, and is simultaneously a big dumb idiot who can't tell when someone is lying. This made up version of Ford the fans were too blind and stupid to see that they were creating can go die in a fire for all I care.

Canon Ford is none of that. He is an autistic coded and trauma riddled man that is trying his best to do the right thing. He is not manipulative, instead, he was manipulated himself. He cares about Mabel as much as he does Dipper, the only reason he doesn't interact with her as much is the fact that he struggles with socializing with people he can't already relate to. He knows what he's made of, being confident he can do something isn't arrogance. Being proud of his abilities isn't arrogance. Conversely, his self worth is through the friggin floor. He doesn't feel like he's worth it if he's not proving himself. He can't simply exist, he has to do big things or else he's nothing. Some arrogance that is. Ford does love Stan, he just isn't very happy with him. Like can he not be angry with his brother without being stomped in the ground for five seconds? It's as if someone has to be perfectly happy with their sibling all the time, even when they did things that DIRECTLY HURT THEM and did not even APOLOGIZE for it ONCE. (Sorry, hit a sore spot there, let's move on) Ford was manipulated and abused by Bill and calling him stupid for it is blatant victim blaming.

anyway, I could go on, but Fanon Ford is my enemy that I have sworn to fight against every day in this dang fandom. I have taken a break from actively fighting this characterization for my own mental health (because this fandom is illiterate and also cruel I swear to the Axolotl), but it is a fight I take in my own mind every time I see any "hot" take about Ford that is more likely an ice cold take than anything because of how friggin often those kinds of mischaracterizing things are said. Anyway, that has been my answer on 'fanon'. Thank you for the question and for the compliment.

[ikeep-forgetting-mypass]

(pictured a human bill sorry)

It was Bill, but... not. As if the demon had let himself go after his last appearance.

His hair was unbound, long enough to reach the white tiled flooring, more black than yellow. He was thinner, wearing an orange jumpsuit and missing his hat and tie.

A long, jagged scar stretched its way on his face, glitching silver and white like static and electricity.

The demon was calmly cutting pieces of paper into shapes with a pair of kids scissors, all sorts of colors.

Upon noticing their arrival, Bill calmly looks at them, says a quick hello, and goes back to his cutting.

Mabel and Dipper are confused, hesitantly asking where they were. Ford and Stan are looming behind them protectively.

Bill tells them that they're in the Theraprism; a land existing outside of space and time created by the immortal axolotl, where the multiverse's biggest villains are sent after death to get the therapy they needed in life: after which are then reincarnated into a timeline to make sure they never do their mistakes again, or by reincarnating into a lesser form like a small star or amphibian or plant life.

He advises them to try and talk to the frilly guy upstairs or to the warden to get out, since they definitely aren't supposed to be here.

The Pines are confused on why Bill isn't being, well, BILL, and the demon admits that after a long, long period of serious denial, he finally hit his breaking point and had an existential fueled meltdown where he finally realized that he never actually liked any aspect of his life save for some few joy spots, and was just doing every impulsive, awful thing to distract and ignore his actual feelings.

Bill says pretty firmly that he knows he is irredeemable like this, having come to realize that in his breakdown, and knows that he's harmed them all way too much for any apology to be worth anything (though he does give a genuine and sincere apology), and that he's mostly just trying to figure out how to exist now than to make any attempt at bothering them again.

Finally, he alerts the guards via his ankle monitor, and goes back to cutting, then gathering them all up and glueing them together to make a sort of strange quilt of shapes.

Before they're escorted to the Axolotl, Ford stops to have one last conversation with his former muse.

He questions why Bill only apologized to Mabel, Dipper and Stan. Bill says that both he and Ford know the reason: That no apology, no matter how genuine and sincere could ease the pain of what he made Ford endure.

Bill explains that while he is more than sorry for what he did, he also knows that Ford is happy, and has mostly moved on, and he's trying to do the same. He's still deeply in love with Ford, but has realized that he's only capable of showing that love in terrible, abusive ways.

He confesses that to ford, but says before he could respond that he knows it is one-sided now, and that he knows even after 100 years, Ford probably will never forgive him and he's accepted that.

He wishes Ford the best in life, advises him to live happily while he still has time and to forget about him entirely, and hopes by the time he reaches 92, any memory of Bill is drowned by the ones of his loved ones. He gives him one final kiss on the cheek and Ford is removed from his room.

(In this AU, Bill has finally been able to make some sort of peace within himself. He's still unstable, but has been making progress in therapy.

This all happened post Book of Bill (obviously), and has since been a few million years inside the Theraprism.

Bills making a quilt to memorialize Eucylida. It's a part of his therapy, where he gives his home, and his people, a grave after a trillion years.

This just came to mind randomly. Sorry this is worded/formated so weird lol. This is very OOC for Bill, but it's been over a million years and the breakdown was like. Really bad.

Maybe I'll make more of this? Not sure, but I wanted to explore Bill in therapy and him actually getting better, and isn't focused on the Pines. I love all the 'Bill is drop kicked to the Pines and has to confront emotions for the first time' so so much, but the idea of Bill in therapy is just so interesting ya know?

Maybe I'll explore how and if the Pines interact with this version of Bill. Maybe. I saw a post about how the Pines wouldn't care if Bill got better or worse and I had feelings about it and so came this thing lol.)

[themysteriousauthor18]

Darkness….

Then the sounds of...birds?

The world blurred as the light steadily poured in. The darkness fading away, the vision focused gradually. Coming to realize green and blue blurs were in fact the trees and sky. Ears ringing, that gently faded too as the sounds of nature took its place.

Sounds of the water in the distance, birds singing their songs. Even a few wild creature’s in the far distance.

But the more the mind settled back in, the more that pain became apparent.

His eyes grew wide as it finally settled back in. The searing burning pain coursing through his body. Emitting from his left arm.

He sat up with a heavy groan, bringing his arm up. He pushed up the sleeve of his blue hoodie, his eyes grew wider if possible.

Blue fires was engraving itself into his arm..it faded in seconds putting itself out. It didn’t catch his clothing on fire which was odd. Once the blue flames cleared it left behind markings on his arm.

“What…” He muttered, his fear and also fascination growing. He pushed the sleeve up further, it seemed the newly formed markings made its way up just below where his shoulder started. The markings, he knew them. Seen them before, in Ford's books. The insinma, the triangles. The seal….the large familiar triangle in the center.

Bill.

Why did he have it on his arm. Nothing about this could be good.

Bill….the statue-

His brown eyes looked to its location hastily. But his heart dropped, finding it was not there. Only the flattened patch of grass where it had been. But no statue.

He scrambled to his feet, nearly falling. His eyes searched the spot, hands moving across it. Where was it? Where had it gone!

“Crap..” He cursed. “I knew it was a bad idea. I should have listened to uncle Ford!”

I’ve noticed you’ve had a recent interest in Bill's statue. Just be careful, dipper...and whatever you do, don’t shake his hand. We don’t know what might happen since you are one of the things that could bring him down.

This is what he got for letting his curiosity get the best of him.

Dammit!

What was he going to tell his Uncle?

“Okay Dipper..calm down.” He told himself. “Relax. Uncle Ford and Stan aren’t going to be back from their fishing escapade for another week. I have time..I can fix this.” He went on talking to himself. A nervous habit he kept since he was a kid. “I-I just need to figure out where the statue went. What happened to it and..” He paused, looking at the tattoo on his arm. “ What this mean?”

He removed the blue cap on his head, carding his fingers through his hair.

“I see some things never change, pinetree.”

He whipped around at that voice.

His worst fears became reality as his eyes tried to process what he saw.

The dream demon himself, inhabiting what looked like a more human form floating there. Legs criss-crossed as he hovered in the air. And he was...nakaed. Why was he nakaed?

His lack of clothes was Dipper's last concern, as fear washed over his matured features. Flashes of memory crossed his mind. Facing Bill back then all those years as a child. Living through weird megadon and having the recurring nightmares from time to time. Fearing that Bill would return, that he would kill everyone he loved.

He stumbled back, gawking. All color leaving his face. “No..” He muttered. “No, no no no.” He shook his head wildly. “This can’t be happening…”

Bill simply rolled his eyes. “Oh come on pine tree, never seen a nakaed human body? What kind of life have you been living? A boring one apparently.”

Dipper wasn’t listening to those quips. His hand instivily grabbed the first thing he could touch. It was a rock, he threw it with great force at the dream demon. “Stay back!” The rock flew at him, hitting the dream demon's shoulder and plopping pathetically on the forest floor.

“Rude.” Bill tutted.

His legs gave out as he fell, still staring as a single dark eye watched him curiously. Under blonde bangs. “H-h-how are you here!” He really wished he had his notebook with him right now.. “How is this possible..”

“Dunno.”

“W-what?!”

“I said I don’t know pinetree. Geez, are you that old?” He unraveled his legs, his feet touching the forest floor. Disrupting the grass beneath his feet. “I just kinda..woke up. I dunno, everything was dark and now it’s not.” He paused, “then I saw my old puppet!”

“I am not your puppet!” Dipper growled.

“Sure kid.” He brushed himself off, “anyway as much as I like being all natural I don’t like that look so...” Bill snapped his fingers for some clothes.

But nothing seemed to happen.

Just an empty snap

Bill was just as confused as Dipper, as he snapped again..again..and again..Nothing. Not even a spark. “Well drat.” The dream demon cursed. “Damn that stupid Axolotl..” He muttered.

He’s powerless? Dipper realized. Then he remembered something, filed away in his mind. Something said to him among one of their last journeys before leaving that summer.

One way to absolve his crime.

“A different form..a different time..” Dipper’s gaze took in the dream times form, the pieces finally clicking together. A different form, a different time. A human form, six years.

“Dipper!” That familiar voice filled his ears. He quickly got to his feet as he saw the dream demons not human faces fill with interest.

“Oh shooting stars here too!”

“Mable don’t come near me!” Dipper shouted into the forest towards his twin.

As stubborn as she was, she naturally didn’t listen to his warning. An adult Mable emerged from the forest, hair braided back and sporting a wacky sweater. This one orange and with cats on it.

She looked at her disgruntled twin, traces of fear lacing his eyes. “What’s wrong bro bro?” Her voice was a little different not nearly as high as when she was a child.

“What’s wrong? You need to go now!” He warned.

Mable blinked, looking at her twin, then around. She just looked...confused. “Dipper, I don’t see anything? What’s wrong? Are you losing sleep again.” She asked, concerned.

“What?” He turned to look behind him, there stood Bill. He looked amused if anything. “You can’t see it?”

“See who?” Mable asked, looking directly behind him at where Bill stood.

“Well isn’t this an interesting turn of events!” Bill exclaimed loudly. No reaction from Mable.

Meanwhile Dipper’s gears shifted in his mind. “What..what’s going on.” He muttered to himself.

Mable walked closer to her twin. Placing her hands on his shoulders and looking up at him. “Dipper, I know you’ve been stressed lately. But these trips are meant to be relaxing, you gotta relax bro.”

As she lectured him he was hardly listening. Instead seeing Bill walk over standing beside them. He glared at him, trying his best no to react if only so his twin didn’t think he had gone completely crazy.

His eyes widened as Bill raised a hand to Mable’s head, Dipper opened his mouth but stopped when Bill just took a leaf from her hair, looking at it with interest.

“ -E should head back to the shack now, Soos is making dinner right now. And Melody we’ll never forgive you if you miss it.”

“But-”

“No butts!” She cut in, “now come on.” She grabbed his shoulder.

Dipper quickly lowered his sleeve, unsure how Mable hadn’t seen it. As he was dragged away by his twin he looked over his shoulder at the dream demon, who was still inspecting the leaf.

What was going on?

[astrered]

What Makes The Diffrence

Let's talk about Bill Cipher.

Let's talk about how he laughed at others' misery, played with feelings, tricked people to get what he wanted. Let's talk about Ford's nightmares and paranoia, or Dipper's fear of forks. Bill was a demon, a monster hidden behind a top-hat and a strange, dark humour. Bill loved to laugh, loved how it clashed with the screams of his victims, and his chuckles would haunt Gravity Falls for a long time.

Now let's talk about King.

King laughed at others' failures, proclaimed himself king of demons and watched kittens videos with Luz. He mocked Hooty and his horrifick voice and helped cleaning him, complaining all the way. Before sleeping, he always went and hugged Eda despite her disgust and slept next to Luz, his plush against him even when he claimed he didn't need it.

Let's talk about second chances.

* * *

Bill Cipher watches his dream and goal burn with rage in his dark and cold heart. He watches the human who tricked him turn towards him, his world burning around him, and feels afraid. The monster feels his powers fade away, feels everything he worked so hard to obtain disappear, and panics.

So he acts.

Stanley Pines punches the demon haunting his family into oblivion, and lets himself burn with him. The conman tricked the trickster, the human defeated the demon.

This is the end of Bill Cipher.

(This is a beginning, too.)

* * *

The being hears the demon calling his name, and answers. Bill was a monster before he was a demon, a psychopath who thrived on others' pain. Most would simply let him burn.

But Axolotl has never been like most.

* * *

At first he's alone. Everyone is alone at first, they just don't realize it. But King -because his name is King, don't you see?- feels loneliness crawling under his skin, itching and never going away. It almost feels like a curse, and on the Boiling Isles, he doesn't know anyone who can help. He doesn't remember anyone who can help.

(He never will.)

He wanders alone, having no home to go back to. He wonders what he did to become like this, but in the end he soon forgets about it. Or he tries to.

The little demon tumbles into the woods and finds a house and a strange lady. Maybe it's fate, maybe it's chance, but they still find each other. Another story begins while the last one is forgotten.

King is a powerless demon who makes friends with an outcast of a witch. Somehow, they make it work.

* * *

Powerful- Bill Cipher was old, and strong, but this power was useless in the physical world. He was stronger than anyone, but that didn't change anything. To touch, to hurt, this was what he wanted most of all, what seemed to be forever out of reach.

King can touch things. He is physical, he breathes and bleeds like any living being. But he isn't strong, not like Eda or even Hooty. King wants to be strong, to prove his strength, but he doesn't want to hurt people. He banters with Eda and Hooty and sleeps under the sun, and that's enough.

(What is strength against happiness?)

* * *

Evil- that's what Bill Cipher was called. And he was, him and his sharp words and lies. He was too cruel, above people, humans he considered below him. This was his downfall.

A human enters the Boiling Isles and invades King and Eda's life. She brings troubles, and changes, and it may be good or may be bad, but it's change, and that's important. Changing, growing, learning. It's necessary.

Maybe the teen reminds him of another human eager to learn about creatures who used to be out of reach. Maybe he looks at Luz's sparkling eyes and feels something familiar, like a dream fading away. Maybe he doesn't.

It doesn't really matter. This story isn't about them.

* * *

Let's talk about learning. Learning, growing- Life is made of mistakes. They help people to move forward.

King is a child at best and an annoyance at worst. He is a childish menace who drives others crazy. But this is what matters- he is a child. He grows and cries and yells and most of all- he learns. He looks at Eda's hidden kindness and Luz's determination and learns. He learns about Eda's curse, about not betraying people, about facing his fears. He watches, he acts, he learns. And he thinks.

His family is good, and so will be King.

(No one is born evil.)

* * *

So let's tell a story.

Let's tell a story about a demon. A demon, a monster, who tried -and often succeeded- to hurt people. He tried to enter a world that wasn't his, and hurt many people along the way. He was hated, rightfully so, for his doings. When he burned to ashes, leaving nothing behind but an empty shell, no one mourned. This demon was old, and he was evil. But here's the thing- no one is born evil.

So let's tell another story. This one isn't quite finished yet, but that's not what matters.

There's another demon, in another place, in another time. They're similar, these two. Their voices, their humour, even their thoughts sometimes. But some things change: the tiny demon loves, and that matters. He's little and so young, a child still growing and learning along his human friend. But of this, he is sure. He loves fiercely, and he'll do anything for the ones he calls family. So what if he's small and weak and childish? He's the King of Demons, he can do anything!

King isn't strong. He has to rely on others, has to learn to grow and accept things won't always go his way, and that's okay.

When Eda, his family, is taken away, he thinks about it, about his powerless limbs and useless knowledge, but he still goes because she's his family.

And that's what makes all the difference.

[jikanet-tanaka]

30, 25 (Another World, Another Time), 18, 4

For the behind the scenes ask!

30. Tell us an idea for a longfic you want to write in the future.

Weirdly enough, you were the one to give me this idea through a post of yours about a youkai-themed Gravity Falls AU!

The story would be that the twins (Maiko and Masaru) would come to live with their great-uncle “Ken’ichi” who’s running a shrine (…mostly to scam tourists, actually). While exploring the woods behind the shrine, Dipper/Masaru then finds a journal about local youkai, written some thirty years prior… along with the ghost of the guy who wrote the journal! The ghost in question doesn’t remember anything about his past, not even his name or appearance, but he does know he had six fingers on each hand when he was alive.

So Dipper and the ghost (nicknamed “Roppon” by Dipper) go adventurin’, trying to piece together Roppon’s missing memories by studying the creatures described in his journal. So each adventure would be centred on one youkai and one recovered memory in particular.

…my only problem is that I have no idea what Stan and Mabel could be doing at this time, let alone other characters like Soos (Kousuke, or Kou-san) or Wendy (Yuki).

25. Which idea came to you first in Another World, Another Time?

Hmm, the confrontation between Bill and Stan in Chapter 15, and Ford meeting the Axolotl in Chapter 17. The whole story was written so I could get to those scenes. It’s as dumb as that. In every longfic I write, there is at least one or two scenes like that, sort like a linchpin to the whole story.

 18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

The chapter where Ford is lost in time and sees parts of Stan’s life (Chapter 18). It came really late in the planning of the story (originally, the Axolotl was supposed to have visions of Dipper and Mabel talk Ford through his issues).

But I kinda thought, well, they always say you should show, not tell, right? So I rewrote the entire damn thing. Since the main theme of the story is that the core of your personhood rests on the actions you take, not what you were born as, it was important to have Ford confronted with the kind of person his brother had become… aka just an average guy doing his best, messing up at times, but still remaining devoted to his family (in a way that’s detrimental to his own mental health, even).

The part I had the most fun writing in this chapter was Ford seeing the day of his and Stan’s birth. It was also a way for me to show him getting closure about the other members of his family (his mom, Shermie, his dad).

 4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

…more or less?? I do have a general outline that I plan in my head (I never write it down for some reason), mostly so I know what clues I have to place early ‘n stuff. An outline is also a must if you want to attempt something approaching a character arc, I think.

That said, I tend to write my scenes out of order (I often start a story by writing the beginning and end, plus important parts in the middle). So to make that all fit together, my outline does have to be flexible. But, writing by the seat of one’s past is not an enjoyable experience, so I wouldn’t recommend it (pretty much the whole subplot of the gang that remained in Gravity Falls in AWAT was written that way and, oh my god, it shows, it shows so damn much).

I do have a fond memory of struggling to resolve a plot point in an earlier story I wrote, and just waking up with a grin one day thinking, ‘oH! I juST haVE to kILL THaT ONe charAcTEr, thAT’s iT’, and laughing madly in my bed.

[deity-of-calamity]

Random questions about your muse Copy and paste. Do not reblog.

Name: William (Bill) Cipher (putting that here based on his constellation)

1. Do they believe in true love?

“Not exactly. That’s fairy tail stuff.”

(the exception being one of his romance timelines. As he accepts it as real at that point)

2. Do they believe that their life has meaning?

“Yes and no.”

(Bill is a proud/narcissistic demon so at times he believes he is the most important creature around. Other times however his depression kicks in and he wants to die. Even though Bill knows it’s impossible as he is immortal. A tough lesson after what happened to his home.)

3. What first impression do they give when they first meet someone?

(Usually that he’s energetic/eccentric and can be loud. This tends to be annoying to people but others might find it endearing.)

4. Do they believe in heaven/hell?

“Only if Heaven is that space Axolotl keeps for human souls after death. And the Nightmare Realm, which I run, could be considered Hell.”

(He’s a demon lord/chaos deity. So I guess to some level, maybe)

5. Five things that irritate them?

“One: Heroes/Would be heroes. Annoying pests.”

“Two: Machines. Although I suppose there could be some exceptions.”

“Three: Tickles.”

“Four: Idiocy.”

(Five is hard to come up with... So just have these four.)

6. First kiss?

“Hard to say. I didn’t always have my own body and I’m not sure a possession counts.”

7. What do they find funny that others usually don’t?

“Torture, murder, manipulation, honestly I could go on for days.”

8. Biggest regret?

“I’m not some sentimental fool.”

(Destroying his home/killing any possible family he had. And hurting Ford Pines. Despite his denial of feelings, he did consider Ford a close friend.)

9. Three words that best describe them?

Intelligent, Selfish, Terrifying

10. Their most attractive feature?

(not sure how to answer this one...)

11. The feature that they find most attractive?

“I find my intellect to be one of my best features. But if you mean something more physical... I’d go with my eyes. Which are like liquid flames!”

12. Favorite song lyric?

“Tough choice. There’s quite a few.”

(I have several he’d like and it’s hard to pick..)

13. Best advice they’ve ever received?

“Probably something Axolotl said. Hard to pick just one thing when there’s many years to sift through.”

14. Worst advice they’ve ever received?

“Once again it’s hard to say. There’s just too much history. Curse of being immortal.”

15. What makes them cry?

“.... Next question.”

(Reminding him of what he���s lost. Either with his home or with Ford. He’ll deny caring and will most likely hide away somewhere. However Bill truly did care for Ford and that’s what hurts. Knowing he messed up beyond repair.)

16. Hardest decision they ever had to make?

“... Moving on.”

17. What makes them fond of someone?

“Personality. If they’re a nerd it’s a bonus. And a sense of humor is a must.”

18. Do they believe in forgiveness?

“Yes. Whether or not someone deserves it is another story.”

19. Biggest turn on?

“Intellectual stimulation is always good. But pain is also fun.”

(He’s pretty demi/asexual so this is about as far as it goes)

20. Biggest turn off?

(not sure how to answer this)

21. Any fetishes/kinks?

“That depends on what wrapping people in chains, torture and nightmares count as.”

(Again not quite sure what to say. He’s demisexual)

22. Do they have a perception of god?

“I actually talk with Axolotl so... Not sure that counts as a perception.”

23. A memory from their childhood that shaped them?

“I can’t remember that far back. Everything before the calamity is just... Fuzzy. But I will share this. Axolotl is the one who taught me how to create dreams.”

24. Birthday and zodiac sign?

“July 26 and Leo.”

(I picked that because of the gemstone and the Leo personality just works for him. Plus it’s a fire sign)

25. Do they agree with said zodiac sign?

(Yes)

26. What is one thing that they wish they could change about themselves?

“About the only thing I can think of is the ability to understand emotions better.”

27. A dream that they have never told anyone?

“Well... I didn’t always dream. So... Just give me the next question.”

28. Do they believe in fate?

“Yes. It has a rather annoying habit of popping up. Damn zodiac wheel...”

29. Favorite season?

“Autumn/Fall! It has pumpkin stuff and Halloween and so on!”

30. Five favorite singers/bands/performers?

“Linkin Park, Panic! At The Disco, Nightwish, Sonata Arctica, The Rasmus (I know it said 5 but I’m gonna add 5 more because they work too, Starset, Slipknot, Three Days Grace, Within Temptation, Skillet)

Tagged by: automaton-otto

Tagging: @crystallusxarmis @castelleve @your-pain-is-my-amusement (and anyone that wants to do this)