#forcing myself to stop now lol I’ll probably finish tomorrow

[crow-of-paradise]

TWOK Chapter 69 spoilers!

I’m still absolutely reeling from the battle of the tower and the immediate aftermath. Like HOLY SHIT.

Amaram giving up the lives of Kaladin’s men for his Shards, and Dalinar giving up his Shardblade for the lives of Kaladin and his men. I GOT CHILLS ALL OVER!!! 😭😭😭

“I call that a bargain.” And Kaladin’s utter shock and disbelief. I love him. I love these two so much I’m gonna throw up!!!

[adoringhaikyuu]

they reject you and regret it afterwards

CHARACTERS: kuroo + iwaizumi + osamu + (gn!reader)

REQUEST: pspspsps i hope its okay if i drop my request here since i saw that yours are open :D can you maybe do how kuroo, iwaizumi and osamu rejects reader confession ( they are best friend ) because they have feelings for another person but later they regret it when they moved on? i love it when the boys realize it later how much the reader means to them but y/n took the chance to move on and have a sexy glow up ✋😩 yessss i wanna see them suffer at the end >:) • by anonymous

WARNINGS: dumb boys hurting your feelings and you hurting them right back :/

NOTES: i feel like i’m not too good at writing angst lol but i made these blurbs instead of hcs! 

kuroo let you down easy, not wanting to hurt your feelings––to be honest he did feel something for you, but he wasn’t sure if it was what you wanted it to be. he felt more certain of the feelings he had for someone else. someone you slowly watched him admire from afar until he worked up the courage to start joking with them, then offering to buy them lunch and so on. 

you still remember the awkward smile he gave you when you confessed to him, the smile that absolutely broke you because it showed you how much he didn’t want you the way you wanted him. not enough to give up his efforts with someone else. “i’m flattered y/n, but i’m sorry i just––you know i have a date this week...” 

you’d looked down immediately, unable to look him in the eyes longer and swallowed back the lump in your throat that was aching to come up in a sob. “yeah yeah, i’m sorry i just––let’s forget this ever happened, yeah?”

you gave him your most convincing smile and he agreed, wanting everything to be normal between the two of you.

but it wasn’t until he’d gone on a few dates with them to realize that it didn’t feel right. it didn’t feel familiar, the way he thought it would. it wasn’t the same comfort he felt in your presence. when they texted him, he didn’t feel the same burst of happiness he felt when you messaged him. he tried to wait it out, to see if things would change, but they didn’t. they just weren’t you.

it’d been a few weeks since you’d confessed and gotten rejected, but you decided to move on instead of dwelling on his unrequited feelings––it wouldn’t do you any good to wallow and weep over your best friend. you wanted him to be happy, and you deserved to be too. so you knocked yourself out of that sad headspace and changed yourself up a bit. you started to value yourself better than you did before, you dressed the way you wanted to but were always afraid of doing and everything about you just brightened up. and other people noticed as well. 

kuroo had kind of been too preoccupied to notice, if he was being honest. he didn’t realize what he had in front of him until he practically sprinted over to your place to surprise you and be honest about his feelings. you opened the door, already dressed up and kuroo took a step back, eyes widening as they took you in. did you always look this breathtaking?

“wow...”

you smiled gratefully, straightening out your clothes. “thanks, that’s what i was going for.” you walked back into your apartment to get your shoes, “not that i mind but what are you doing here?” 

he blinked out of his trance and stepped in, closing the door behind him. “oh i just––i brought us some food.” he raised the bag he was holding even though you weren’t facing him. “i was kinda hoping we could spend some time together...” he scratched the back of his head, “maybe talk about a few things...” he trailed off when something clicked in his head as he watched you slip your shoes on. “wait why are you all dressed up?” 

you turned and looked at him apologetically, “oh...i’m sorry kuroo,” you paused, “i actually have somewhere to be. can i take a raincheck?”

he opened his mouth for a few seconds as he watched you, but no sound came out. “oh um...well could i just––wait here? until you get back?” 

you looked to the side awkwardly bringing one hand up to hold your other arm. “it’s just that...i might not be alone when i come back.”

as soon as you uttered those words, he could feel his heartbeat falter in his chest, a faint ringing noise in his ears. 

“...a date?” 

you nodded with a smile and though it’s selfish, he felt a part of him dim on the inside when he noticed how excited you were. he didn’t really have a right to stop you now did he, not when you chose his happiness over your own what felt like way long ago. so he wouldn’t.

he nodded as well, “oh” he forced a smile onto his face and stepped back towards the door, “that’s exciting. i’m happy for you, really.” he turned the door knob, “i’ll catch up with you some other time then, yeah? you’ll tell me how it went.” he looked at you one last time, his gaze wavering under the undeterred happiness radiating from you.

when he finally stepped out and closed your door, all the emotions hit him at once. he didn’t know what hurt the most, the fact that he was too late, or the fact that you didn’t stop him, didn’t notice the pleading look in his eyes as he silently begged you to stay with him. 

iwaizumi froze when you told him how you felt. it was the smallest reaction you’d ever seen from him before, the calmest––yet it did anything but soothe you. you could see the hesitation in his eyes, the uncertainty of what to say next in the way his mouth opened but produced no sound. you already knew what he was going to say.

he will admit, seeing the tears in your eyes that you barely managed to blink back when he rejected you did strike a blow to his heart. but he just couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear, he wouldn’t lie to you. “i––i’m sorry y/n i just...don’t feel the same.” 

his eyes were apologetic, almost pitiful as he watched you take a step back, “right, right. that’s––that’s okay.” you tried to smile but it felt more like a grimace. “i just didn’t want to keep it to myself, that’s all. i’m sure i’ll get over it soon.” he nodded but wasn’t sure what else to say. so he didn’t say anything. 

things were a little awkward for a couple weeks between the two of you, but you didn’t want to lose your friendship, so you eventually moved on. 

it wasn’t until one day you were at the café you always went to together that you noticed him taking longer than usual to bring back your drinks. you looked over to see him chatting with the barista, both of them with nervous smiles on their faces. he came back a few minutes later with a note in his pocket that you assumed was the barista’s number and a blush on his cheeks. he placed your drink in front of you, eyes looking down, and didn’t mention anything, probably since he didn’t want to rub it in, so you didn’t bring it up either. 

but you did wonder if they were the reason he didn’t feel the same for you––you wondered if they weren’t in the picture, if he would have fallen for you instead. 

he didn’t want to hide anything from you, so he told you when he had a date coming up. you wished him luck and told him you hoped he’d have a good time and that was that. 

they ended up dating but you didn’t mind. he seemed happy and you truly did want the best for him. you started focusing on yourself and eventually found a boyfriend, one who appreciated you and loved you and you couldn’t ask for more. 

iwaizumi was happy for you as well, but he couldn’t ignore this piercing feeling he felt when he first heard the news, then when he would see you two together, on your double dates, at parties, anywhere, really. something just ticked him off. he knew he didn’t have a right to feel this way, but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t make sense of it. he couldn’t even figure out what it meant. 

only once he realized the ache he felt in his chest when you smiled at your boyfriend the way you used to smile at him, the pull at his heart when you kissed his cheek, completely enamored. only then did he realize that he was jealous, that he’d made a mistake, that he’d lost the one chance he had of being with his soulmate. 

osamu had just gotten his new restaurant, he was achieving his goals, living his life without fear, and you took inspiration from that. you decided to be upfront about your brewing feelings and ask him out just as he put the finishing touches in the establishment.

he was wiping down the counter as you sat at the bar, swallowing your nerves as you watched him. “hey samu?”

he hummed and glanced up at you for a second before looking back to what he was doing. 

you took a deep breath, “would you maybe...want to go out to eat tomorrow?” 

he didn’t look up, but his brows furrowed, “yeah? why are you even asking?” 

you paused, of course he wouldn’t realize what you meant, you guys ate together all the time. you blinked a few times before clearing your throat, “um i just––i meant as a...date?” 

this time, he paused, well more like froze. he kept his eyes on the counter, his face blank, but you could tell he was internally processing everything. did he hear you right? “what?” 

you considered taking it back, but you had a feeling he did hear you, he just wasn’t sure how to respond. “um...i asked if you wanna go on a date? with me...”

he nodded and straightened up, “right.” he brought a hand up to scratch the back of his head, finally looking at you and the look in his eyes was enough to make your wavering confidence crumble. “i sort of have my eye on someone else right now...” you nodded, trying not to let the tears form in your eyes. he went on, “my new neighbor needed to borrow something and we got to talking...was thinking of asking them out, actually.” that was the final twist of the knife. 

“oh...” your voice was small ”thats––that’s great!” you smiled but kept your eyes cast down, “forget what i asked i just...wanted to see what you’d say haha,” you tried to play it off as a joke, “i got you!” 

he stared at you silently for a few seconds, clearly contemplating whether or not he believed you, but in the end, he let it go. 

you never brought up that night ever again, but you thought about it constantly. it haunted you, in a way. of course the one time you’re finally able to speak up about your feelings, it backfired. 

you were in a very upsetting and self deprecating headspace for a while, wondering if this was your sign to never make the first move, if you were the problem. it took you a little while to snap out of it, but once you did, you realized your worth and stopped looking at the world through a grey lens––you felt like you’d bloomed as a person. 

things didn’t go very far with osamu and his neighbor, but you didn’t take that as an opportunity to try again with him, you didn’t want to wait around for him, even though you thought about it for a second at first––you learned to respect yourself more. 

meanwhile, your best friend was beside himself, going through the process of reflection and realization. it’s not that he was desperate after a failed relationship, it’s more so that he suddenly realized he had someone perfect right by him all these years––it only made sense. but he was too stupid to realize that, to realize that he cared about you as more than a friend. he had foolishly mistaken his feelings for you as caring for a friend––you two had been inseparable since you were kids, he couldn’t even notice when his feelings shifted from caring for a friend to loving his best friend. 

he decided to talk to you about it, it’d only been a few months since you’d joked? about going on a date with him, but part of him felt confident that you might have meant it for real. he was sure you’d be open to it still. he called you during his break at work and found himself smiling as soon as he heard your voice. 

“hey samu what’s up?” 

he started to answer, but he trailed off when he heard you laughing at an unfamiliar voice in the background. “hey...just wanted to talk. what are you uh up to?” 

he heard you shush whoever was with you. “nothing much.” he heard you sit down.” i can’t stay for long but what did you want to talk about? i’m all ears.”

he was going to brush it off, maybe it was just a friend, but when he heard a faint ‘babe’ and what sounded like a small kiss on the other end, that was all he needed to confirm his suspicions. “yeah i just...i’ll actually call you back later, okay?”

you paused on the other end, most likely confused, but you let him go nonetheless. 

osamu sat there in his office at the back of his restaurant, surrounded by silence, complete disbelief and an indescribable ache running through his body. was he really too late? 

[finalskies]

Heir’s favorite posts of 2022

It’s that time of year again: the end. So I get to talk about my favorite things I posted. It’s funny, I feel like I really didn’t draw that much more than last year, and I certainly didn’t get any better. If anything, I’ve probably regressed. But even then, in these past few months I’ve probably felt more joy about drawing than I have in a long time. In a way, it feels like I’ve removed all my expectations for myself and I just... I just get to draw whatever I want, and it doesn’t matter if it looks sucky to me. “Face didn’t come out right? That’s fine, it still looks cute. It doesn’t look as good as it used to? No worries, you’ve done it before and you’ll do it once more. And even if you don’t, you can still have fun with it and make people happy.”

Maybe I’m just finally done with being mean to myself about my drawings. Maybe I just wanna draw cute/silly stuff for my friends. Because, as I’ve said before, you don’t have to be great and powerful to make something that makes a great and powerful difference in someone’s day. Anyway...

Ol’ Reliable Applejack. This is one of the first drawings I made with my new tablet, and the first one that made me think “Okay... I can still do this.” Even before my bestest most favorite tablet broke, I hadn’t been feeling the whole “drawing” thing in awhile. As simple as this looks, it felt like a real turning point.

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Internet Fuzz Queens. As a very young child, I had this idea in my head that all my favorite cartoon characters lived in a community together and they would hang out and stuff. This is was an extremely self-indulgent comic that required specific knowledge of four different fandoms, and I want to do more like it. I love my blorbos and I want to see them hang out together.

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Angel Byrd. My OC turned space kangaroo in my Scum and Villainy campaign. I’m glad I got to give her a little more pizzazz. I forgot to mention it in the original post, but the reason her dress has a tummy window is because she’s planning on smuggling museum artifacts in her pouch lol. We’re actually doing the second part of the heist tomorrow, wish us luck!

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Kaysee Cadet! A character I made for a dnd Humblewood campaign. I really love how this came out. Ultimately I did settle on the orange fur, but maybe I’ll do something with that black fur design at some point. Gawd I’ve grown really attached to this character. They’re autistic, and they’re not native to the setting of the campaign, so “common” isn’t their first language. It’s been really difficult for them to navigate the world, and some people have been quite cruel to her, including her own family. All she wants is love, and they try SO HARD to help people despite everything, and we’re getting to the part in the campaign where the party transitions from “ragtag group of weirdos forced together” to “found family.” But tragedy struck in the last session of the year, and now it’s more of a “darkest hour” moment. And I’m just... I love my blorbos, especially the ones I made up ;_;

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Give Trans Girls Swords. Winter is this lovely artist’s sheep fursona. I’d been wanting to draw them for awhile, she has such an appealing design. This was so fun to draw, I love making things for friends and also giving trans girls swords.

I really want to make my own fursona one of these days...

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 Miss Pie’s Monsters. It was... so nice to see the monster gang again. MPM is absolutely one of those projects that I never stopped thinking about, never lost hope that I could finish it one day, even those it’s been years since its last real update. I’m happy with myself for sticking to the update schedule I promised, even if I was calling it close sometimes lol. I hope people liked seeing them again. And to the people that I know liked seeing them again: first, I love u, I hope I can continue to update it in the coming year. I can’t wait to reveal who the Captain of the guard really is.

Stay fantastic, I hope we all have a better 2023. Or at the very least, make it through it together. <3

[ray-ray-writings]

Seeing Red-Technoblade

This is a Techno x gn!reader in the dreamsmp! I hope you enjoy!

Check out my masterlist here!

This is extremely different from what happens in cannon lol. 

TW: Fighting and descriptions of blood and gore. Techno literally slices up four people. There is nothing too NSFW but Techno and Y/N do take a shower together, but nothing really sexual happens, it’s just a shower shared by two peeps that love each other. 

When Y/N gets kidnapped by the Butcher Army to lure their boyfriend to L’Manberg, Technoblade sees red and is willing to do anything to get them back… Anything.

Techno’s POV

It was quiet around the house… Too quiet. Normally, I would always be able to hear Y/N moving around or singing randomly, but there was nothing. “Y/N?” I called out, hoping to get some form of response from them. Silence. “Love?” I tried once more, moving around hoping to find them. Nothing. 

A pounding on my front door startled me out of my focus. Maybe that was them! Why would they be knocking though, they live here… I swung the door open and was greeted with the sight of my father, who seemed to be out of breath, on my front step. “Dadza?” I questioned in confusion, “What are you doing here?” “They have them,” He breathed. I felt my blood run cold and my heart stop at his words. “What?” “They have them… The Butcher Army has Y/N,” He rushed out, taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “They gave me this note to give to you.” I snatched the piece of paper from my fathers hands and quickly scanned the words scrawled on the parchment. 

“Technoblade, something of yours seems to have fallen into our possession. If you want them back safely, we suggest you come to L’Manberg and turn yourself into us. If you follow our orders, no harm will come to Y/N. But if you refuse, there will be hell to pay and your partner will take the full front of it. Signed, The Butcher Army.” 

I felt my blood boil at the words written on the piece of paper. How dare they? How dare they threaten my Y/N? Coming after me is one thing. But going for my innocent partner, that’s crossing a line. “Stay here,” I barked at my father before storming out of the house. Luckily, I had all of my OP armor and weapons on me considering I was in the nether doing… things… Doesn’t matter. Point is, I quickly saddled up my trusty horse Carl and immediately began galloping off to L’Manberg. 

Carl seemed to sense my urgancing because the trip took half the amount of time that it normally does. Once I was in the vicinity, I hopped off of Carl and tied him up just far enough away so that no one would be able to see him. I rushed up the Prime Path to the center of L’Manberg and was sick to my stomach at what I found. Y/N, my Y/N was trapped in a small cage with a tall tower built next to it, an anvil looming over the cage. Rage filled every inch of my body as their bloodshot eyes met mine. 

“Techno!” I heard them whisper in relief. “Technoblade!” I heard another voice call. I turned slowly and found Tubbo, Ranboo, Fundy, and Quackity standing in the ‘area’ as well dressed in bloody aprons, sick smiles on their faces. “I knew you would make the right choice” Tubbo claimed, everyone taking a few steps forward. “I’m here. Let Y/N go.” I hissed, my teeth clenched tightly. “Oh we will. But only after you comply, get in the cage.” Quackity demanded, motioning to the second cage next to Y/N. “That wasn’t the deal. That wasn’t what was in your note.” “Well we’ve changed our minds.” 

All of the rage that had built up in my body finally overpowered me. I quickly reeled my fist back and punched the nearest person near me, which just so happened to be Fundy. He reeled back due to the force of the punch. For a moment, the other three froze but then immediately snapped into action. I pulled out my shield and my axe as they charged forward at me. I easily blocked their attacks while dealing out my own damage. I moved with ease, taking very little damage as my axe and sword seemed to slice through the four boys with ease, their dark red blood coating my weapons. 

One by one they all fell at my hand, each of the death notifications popped up on my right arm. I stood there, taking deep breaths as I calmed myself down from what had just happened. “Techno!” my partner’s voice called out from behind me. My head snapped over to the cage and I sprinted over to it. Taking one swing with my pickaxe, the iron bars broke and Y/N was released from their prison. I hesitated before hugging them, not sure if they were willing to hug me while I was covered in blood. Y/N had no hesitations, immediately after the bars broke their arms were wrapped around me and they were crying in my chest. My arms wrapped around them, hugging them tightly to my chest and pressing a kiss to the top of their head. 

“Let’s go home,” I murmured into their hair. I felt them nod under my head. I pulled away from them and grabbed their hand and led them to where I left Carl. I helped them get on the horse before I hopped on behind them. I wrapped my arms around them and grabbed the reins. Y/N leaned back into my chest and I moved so that my head rested on their shoulder. I gave Carl a soft kick before he began to trot back towards our home. 

Carl knew where to go once our house came into view. Once in the stable, I pulled myself from Y/N to get off my beloved horse before helping Y/N off as well. I quickly desaddled Carl before giving him a few pats and a golden carrot. I grabbed Y/N’s hand and led them into the house. 

“Oh god! I’m so glad you’re alright! What happened to you guys?” My father questioned as soon as we walked in the house. I let out a small growl in frustration. I love my father but right now I just wanted to spend time with my partner. “I’ll explain later Dadza. Can you just leave us alone right now?” I tried to ask politely, but it probably came out a little more rude than I meant it to. Phil seemed to understand though because he only gave me a soft smile before nodding. He quickly made his way to our front door, “I’ll be over tomorrow then?” He questioned. “Sounds good dad. I’ll see you then.” I responded shortly. “Bye Philza” Y/N murmured with a small wave. Philza gave them another soft smile, waving back, “Bye Y/N. I’ll see you two tomorrow.” And he was gone. 

“Let’s go get cleaned up, yeah?” I offered to Y/N softly. They simply nodded with a small smile. I led them to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I helped them undress before unrobing myself as well. Together, the two of us got in the warm water. The deep crimson began running off of our bodies and down the drain. I helped Y/N wash their hair and in return they helped me wash mine. We helped each other wash our bodies as well, making sure to get all of the dried blood off of our red stained skin. As I washed, I wrapped my arms around their middle and just held them tightly to my chest. Their arms snaked up and wrapped around my neck, one of their hands resting gently in my pink hair and they began to play with it softly. 

We stood there together for quite a while, just enjoying the warm water as it washed over our bodies. As the dirt and grime fell from our bodies, the rage and the tension fell from my body inside. Y/N seemed to always have this effect on me. Whenever I could feel myself growing angry and the voices in my head scream for blood, Y/N simply has to look at me and the voices fall silent. They’re my eye of the hurricane. 

A chill ran up my back as I noticed the water had finally gone cold. Pulling away from Y/N, I quickly turned off the water and got out of the shower, offering my hand to my partner and helping them out as well. I pulled a couple towels out of our cabinet before slowly and gently dragging the towel over Y/N’s body, drying them off. I finished drying their body and quickly dried mine as well. 

We moved to our bedroom to get clothes. Y/N moved to go to their dresser, but my hand found their wrist causing them to stop. “No. Here.” I uttered walking to my own dresser and pulling out some of my more comfortable clothes. Y/N had no objections. They took the clothes and quickly dressed. After getting dressed myself, I turned and was awestruck at the sight. Obviously I’m bigger than Y/N and so my clothes are a lot bigger as well. The sight of my partner draped in my clothes caused my heart to hammer in my chest. 

“You are the most beautiful sight anyone could ever lay their eyes upon,” I murmured, staring deeply at Y/N. They turned and met my eyes, their cheeks blushed a bright red at my compliments. “You’re too sweet,” they squeaked, trying to turn away and hide their face. I took a few steps forward before reaching forward and cupping their cheek, turning their head to face me. “No need to hide from me darling. I know you better than anyone has known you. I love you so much,” I hummed, staring in their eyes. Their cheeks seemed to burn brighter but they nuzzled their cheek into my palm, “I love you too… Can we go to sleep now?” I let out a small chuckle, “Of course we can love.” 

Together we crawled into bed. I opened my arms and Y/N immediately crawled into my arms, snuggling their face into my chest. I pulled them as close to my body as I could. I heard Y/N let out a content sigh as we laid there. “I’m so sorry that happened today, love.” I spoke, breaking the silence. I felt their shoulders rise and fall as they shrugged, “It happens. I wasn’t too worried. I know you’ll always be there to save me.” Y/N mumbled sleepily in my chest. I tilted my head down and pressed a sweet kiss to the top of their head. “That I will, love. That I will.” 

I never know how to end things lol. I hope you enjoyed! If you did please be sure to leave a like!

[thestarrynightslover]

It’s Hard Sometimes

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word count: 2,975

Warnings: Yelling, arguing (gets a little physical, really just a little bit!), high risk-pregnancy, slight mentions of fertility issues, mentions of anxiety and overthinking, and a lot of angst.

Summary: Jay and the reader are married, but start having a hard time after they found out that (y/n) is pregnant. 

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way or know anyone involved with it.

A/N: I made this piece of almost pure angst mostly because I feel like Jay is such a well-built character, who gives us a lot of space to talk about mental health and anxiety (even though I don’t think I developed it very well, lol), so I wanted to use this space to try and add to the conversation with him. Anyways, I hope it doesn’t suck too bad and, please, feel free to give me feedback, cause I’m also here to learn!!

(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)

| masterlist |

Your Saturday morning just couldn’t get any worse. 

Or, at least, that’s what you thought after having been mugged at the subway and then asked to go pick up your stuff at the 21st District, where your husband works. You had to go in because they had apprehended your bag as stolen property. But you were hoping that,  maybe, you’d be able to sort it all out without Jay seeing you. 

“(y/n), hi! Here to see Chuckles? Cause they’re all out working on a case now.” Trudy said with a small smile on her lips, while you just prayed she wouldn’t notice how relieved you were to hear that.

“No, uh, I’m actually here because there was an incident at the subway and the responding officers told me I had to come in to get my bag back. Also, sign something, I think…” You answered shrugging your shoulders to make it seem like nothing. But, of course, Trudy knew better, she always does.

“Oh my God! I heard about that, just didn’t know you were one of the victims! Are you okay? García, go get (y/n) a glass of water!!!” She quickly shouted at the young officer, not waiting long to turn back to face you with a concerned glare: “Can I get you anything else?”

“Oh, no, Trudy! You don’t need to worry about me! It wasn’t a big deal!” You said, also noticing that she was already going through some evidence bags, looking for the one that contained your things. “But there is one thing that I’d appreciate from you…” Hearing that, she didn’t even let you finish:

“Yes, of course! Anything, just name it!” At that, you shot her your brightest smile. Maybe Jay was right and the tough Sergeant Trudy Platt did have a soft spot for you. 

“Well, it’s just that… You know how Jay can get, so maybe you could not mention any of this to him? I just don’t want him worrying, the way I know he will, over something like this…” You would’ve continued but Trudy had the weirdest look on her face and, then, you got it. “He’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” She didn’t bother to answer as your husband turned you to face him and the other members of the Intelligence Unit.

“So, what is it you don’t want me to worry about, huh?” He had a playful smirk on his lips, but his eyes showed you he was already worried. And now you had no other option but to tell him what happened.

“Well, um, there was a little confusion at the subway today and the officers said I had to come in…” You would gladly stop at that, but you knew that Jay wasn’t gonna let it go until you told him everything, so you just went on: “To retrieve what I, um, lost.” God, you couldn’t even look in his eyes right now. 

“What you lost? What kind of confusion are you talking about exactly, babe?” In spite of the pet name, his voice was already showing off a bit of irritation.

“It was a, um, robbery,” at that his eyes almost jumped out of their orbits, so you quickly added, “but it wasn’t a big deal! Nobody got hurt! The officers tackled the guy pretty fast, as soon as he stepped out on the station! And everything is here,” you said raising the bag  Trudy handed you a few minutes earlier, “so, really, there’s nothing to worry about!” You told him, not being able to conceal the exasperation in your voice.

“Nothing to worry about? You just got mugged, (y/n)! We heard a call about that over the radio, it was an armed robbery! Or did you happen to miss the gun on your face when he was getting your bag, huh?” He asked and, even though you knew that the only reason why he was lashing out like that was the concern, the way he said what he said made you feel really small and brought tears to your eyes. “Actually, what I’d like to know, to begin with, is why were you even riding the subway alone, after our talk from the other day, huh?” You could feel the eyes from every person in that District on you and, as much as you knew where Jay was coming from, it was starting to really bother you.

“I was just going to the library. Sorry I didn’t think I needed an escort to do that!” You wish you wouldn’t have said it with those exact words, but you were reaching your limit.

“But we talked about it!” He snapped and you jumped back a little. Then he added, more calmly: “You should have called me.” He was pinching the bridge of his nose, like he always did when he was disappointed and upset about something, and you just felt yourself getting smaller and smaller, as the tears started falling. As if all of it hadn’t been enough, he asked: “Are you okay, though? Because, you know, given our circumstances, you’re to avoid going out on your own to prevent this kinda stress from hitting you, babe.” He explained that to you like he was talking to a child. Like he was the only one who heard what the doctor said. And that was it for you. As much as you loved the man, you just didn't have infinite patience towards his overprotective dad-to-be mode. 

“Oh, really? Why don’t you just go ahead and say ‘I told you so’, huh? Because I can tell you’re dying to do it!” God damn those pregnancy hormones because you were fuming with anger and the tears just kept going down at full force.

“Babe, that’s not what I-”

“The hell it isn’t!” Part of you really wanted to let it all out. All the hurtful words that were just waiting for a go-ahead at the tip of your tongue. But the other part of you, the rational one, knew that wasn’t gonna do any good for you or Jay. Or your baby. So you decided you’d leave instead. “You know what? It’s probably best if I go home now!”

“Okay, then, I’ll drive you.” You heard Jay saying, with a deep sigh, but you couldn’t even begin to think about an entire drive home with him at that moment.

“No way! I can do that by myself! And don’t worry I’ll get a cab this time!” As you headed towards the exit, you felt a strong grip on your wrist. You turned around and it was Jay. He’d never done that before. “Jay, you’re hurting me!” You breathed out, trying not to be too nervous. When your eyes met his, he let your arm go quickly, looking absolutely stunned by his own behavior. 

You knew that the healthiest thing to do right then would be to try and talk to him about it, but you couldn’t. At that point you needed the space more than ever, so you took the opportunity to just leave the District and go home.

After you stormed out crying, every cop in that building laid their eyes on Jay. To say they were completely shocked by the previous scene was an understatement. Almost everyone there knew you and Jay and how you two were great together. But, more importantly, they knew Jay Halstead wasn’t that kinda guy ⎯ or at least they thought so ⎯ and now they were all wondering.

Still, Trudy Platt, who wasn’t about to have any more of that drama at her District, ordered loudly for everyone to get back to their tasks, while shooting Jay a worried look, because, as much as she knew for a fact that he wasn’t that kinda guy, she cared a lot about you and had, obviously, witnessed the whole thing. 

After the little gathering of cops had been dissolved, it was Voight’s turn to speak up: “Alright, Intelligence, let’s get back upstairs, we still have a lot of work to do on this case. And, Jay, you should go home now.” He said with a stern look, despite his concern for the detective.

“But, sarge, I-” Jay started to protest, like Hank knew he would.

“I don’t wanna hear it, Halstead. I know your head is not gonna be on the case until you fix whatever that was, so, now, the best thing you can do is just calm down and go home.” This time Jay knew there was no point in arguing, so he accepted the defeat and went upstairs to get changed in the locker room before leaving. 

As he got there, he saw his reflection in the mirror and that was when it hit him. All of it. From your incident to your tears, to his aggressiveness. He really messed up. He let his fears get the best of him and he hurt you, he made you cry, fear him, even. So he started crying himself, like a little child whose favorite toy had just broken, like there was no tomorrow. By the time Voight went there to check up on Jay, maybe give him some advice, that’s what he saw: a grown man sitting on the floor crying his eyes out. So he did the one thing he could think about doing, to try and make that man he considered like a son feel better: he sat there by Jay’s side and put a hand over the detective’s shoulder until the crying sufficed. 

“So, you and (y/n) been on the odds lately?” Hank asked after a while.

“No, uh, not really.” Jay started whilst sniffling. “It’s just that this week we got some news that messed with our emotions a little, but, Hank, I swear I have no idea why I did that! I would never do anything to hurt her, you gotta believe me! Please?” He pleaded, in desperation, for someone who knew it, who knew him.

“Jay, Jay!” By then the sergeant had to shout to get the frantic young man’s attention back. “Jay, I know you wouldn’t hurt her, you hear me? I know. I know you love her more than you love yourself, hell, everyone here knows it! They were just… A little surprised to see you two arguing, that’s all.” Hank tried to make it sound a lot less bad than it actually was, and Jay appreciated that. “Now, why don’t you tell me what’s really going on between you and (y/n), huh? Maybe I can help you somehow… Or maybe you just need to vent.” Hearing that, Jay decided that he should take Voight’s suggestion and just talk about it already.

“Well, here’s the thing, sarge, (y/n/n) and I, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while now. And, um, we were having a bit of a hard time with it. But then last weekend we found out that it worked, she got pregnant, and we were so happy about it!” He almost smiled at the memory. “But then we went to the doctor to check it and all that, and found out that it’s a high-risk pregnancy, meaning she’s gotta take it real easy from now on, otherwise the baby’s life and her own would be in danger! And I’m terrified ever since we left that hospital! Because the simplest thing could take her away from me! My everything, sarge, she is my entire world and I can’t live without her.” He said shaking his head in a way that made even Hank Voight feel a bit of sadness. “So when she said she’d been robbed at gunpoint… I just lost it, you know? What if I’d lost them?”

“Ah, Jay…” Hank knew exactly what the detective was scared of, after all, he had already lost a wife and a son. “Look, I know this can be hard, trust me. Camille and I had our issues before Justin came, as well… But you said it yourself, you’re both happy, aren’t you?” Jay didn’t even need to think before answering that question.

“Yes, of course, sarge! But-”

“No buts! Look, Jay, I know what a big heart you have and I know how much you care, how- how intensely you care, I know, okay? But sometimes, with things like this, you just gotta keep going and hope- just hope that everything is gonna work out. So here’s what you’re gonna do: go home, make up with your wife and start planning a nursery, or whatever else you, parents-to-be, have on your to-do lists these days.” At that, Jay chuckled a little, feeling grateful to have this second father to set him on straight.

“I know you’re right, and I really appreciate you saying this to me… I’m pretty sure that (y/n/n) said something among those lines after we got back from the doctor’s appointment too. The problem is that sometimes it seems like I can’t control my own thoughts. Then, next thing I know, I’m freaking out…” Hank thought that he sounded so frustrated saying that… He really felt for the kid.

“Listen, Jay, you- you just try, okay? You just try your best. And talk to (y/n/n) about it, just let her know what’s going on in there.” He pointed to Jay’s head, as they had already stood up.

“Alright, I will try. Thank you, sarge. Thank you so much, I really needed this.” They half-hugged and the detective went home to you.

The thing he wasn’t prepared for, at all, was finding you: the woman he loved more than anything and anyone in the entire world, sitting on the floor, leaning your back against the bed in the bedroom you two shared, crying and shaking. You were scared of him. That broke him in a way he never thought possible. He wanted to hurt himself, as punishment for hurting you, but he knew it wouldn’t be fair to you. So he gathered some courage to speak through his shame instead. “B- babe?”

You shivered, but you didn’t wanna be afraid of him. That was Jay. Your Jay. The man you loved. The man who loved you. You knew he would never hurt you or your baby. But your body didn’t seem to be listening to your brain. Still, you wanted to say something. But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t know what to say, so you just stayed silent, trying to stop the sobs. He decided to make a move: He sat down on the floor like you, but still giving you some space. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, almost whispering, “I’m so, so, so sorry. You don’t need to say anything, or to forgive me, or do anything, really. I came here willing to talk to you. To do anything to get you back. But now I see just how much I hurt you, so I’ll give you all the space and time you want.” You still couldn’t seem to find your words. It was that same man, you knew it. Why couldn’t you just tell him that? “I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom, or even go to Will’s if it makes you more comfortable?” Just by the sound of his voice, you could tell he meant it. And that was your Jay.

“No,” you spoke so lowly, that you weren’t even sure he’d heard it, “I want you to stay.” And you really did. But you needed to understand, in order to be able to forgive him. “Just- just tell me what happened there? Why?” You tried, a little louder this time.

“Long story short? I was scared to death.” He said with a long and heavy sigh, looking so much older than he’d ever done before; at the same time, you could see the bags under his eyes, from all those sleepless nights he’d been having lately.

“Scared? Because of the robbery? Baby, you’re a cop! You’ve heard of that kind of thing a million times before, and you know it’s not that big of a deal!" You tried to reason with him, even though you were afraid too, at the time.

“I know!” He said, in a tone that made you flinch a little and, then, more calmly: “Look, I know. And I know that you’ve been through tougher stuff. And that you can handle yourself. But that whole thing could’ve gone badly for you, for the baby, for us, in a thousand different ways. Besides, it’s not just that. Ever since we left that exam room, on Monday, I’ve been scared, worried. Because, according to the doctor, the tiniest problem could get you on edge. Because of the tiniest problem, I could lose you. I could lose everything, babe!” You could only stare at him in shock, after hearing that. Of course, you understood his concerns, but you had been so absorbed in your own fears, that you never thought about how much the whole situation was affecting him. Your formerly brave soldier, now tough detective, was also a very anxious man ⎯ who always overthought every single detail of everything when it came to you ⎯ and was, now, crying his eyes out, sobbing like a little kid by your side. So you did the one thing you thought could make him feel better: you pulled him closer to you, letting him break, into your chest, as he listened to your soothing heartbeat.

“It’s alright, my love, it’s alright. Shhh, I’m right here and I’m safe. We both are. You don’t need to be afraid, because we’re not going anywhere, baby.” You promised him with tears already pricking through your eyes, as well. 

And, like that, you two stayed, crying in each other’s arms, just holding each other. With a renewed hope that everything was gonna be okay.

[shreddedparchment]

A Wife for Thor Pt.07

11/03/2020

Waiting to Exhale

Pairing: King!Thor x Reader          Word Count: 5, 871

Warnings: smut!, SO MUCH FLUFF, smidge of angst, language, talk of pregnancy for the purpose of an heir to the throne

A/N: Y’all, I really tried to move away from the smut this chapter but THOR MAKES ME DO IT! FUCK! I want him so much. Reader is literally me. lol Anywho, I wrote the end of this chapter like half asleep, just now. And I’m too tired to even worry about going back to proof it and I wanted to share it with y’all now instead of making you wait until tomorrow so, here it is. If you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

Please DO NOT REPOST my stories on any other sites or blogs.

REBLOGS are always welcome!

Kissing Thor is noisy. Mainly because he likes to really kiss you. His lips smoosh against your own until he’s delving into your mouth with his tongue. You’re so eager to reciprocate the affection that you greet him willingly. Your own tongue swirling around his own.

You’re hit with the salty tang of the olives from his sandwich, a spicy bite to the flavor from the jalapeños.

He kisses you slow, making it last minutes. He makes you dizzy and your heart seems to be perpetually pounding since last night.

The water sloshes around both your bodies as he reaches down to wrap his arm around your waist and pull you right up against him, breasts squished against his massive pecs.

He holds the side of your head, fingers strong and possessive as he tilts your head to explore you better.

When your breath is nothing but gasping, he pulls back with an audible smack. He leans in to kiss you twice more. Two quick pecks before he twists to his right and reaches for the large glass of wine he’d poured you.

Handing it to you, he fixes your hair before reaching to his left for a sandwich triangle. Roast and chicken, cheese, tomatoes, and mustard. You’re not even sure you like this food but when Thor holds the tip of the sandwich up to your lips you open up and take a bite.

Your mind is too preoccupied with the naked God before you to worry about the flavors in your mouth anymore. If it doesn’t immediately pertain to Thor, then you don’t have a mind for it right now.

He follows your bite with his own and replaces the sandwich on the tray still half full along with a bowl of olives and another of cheese cubes.

You lick your lips as you chew, watching his face for any shift that might hint at a change of mood.

Thor however hasn’t changed since this morning when you gave yourself to him completely. And he gave himself to you too.

Maybe it’s silly to think that way, that what happened between the two of you was anything more than sex, but it felt like it. Especially that first time.

He’d been so…there had been something about the look in his eyes, the way he touched you. So sweet and gentle. So loving.

Even now, his free hand finds the soft skin of your side and while you flinch at first, he knows to keep his hand there and after a moment you settle and are still again.

“Why do you pull away?” Thor had asked in the morning after that first time when he’d been laying with you, talking as his hand sought a spot on your side.

“I’m not pulling away.” You’d argued. “I’ve just never been touched there before by anyone but myself. It feels weird. Not exactly a tickling but close to it.”

Now he lets the surprise pass and caresses the spot once your body has moved on from the shock.

“You keep searching for something. What is it, cherub?” He reaches over to give your cheek a little pinch then throws his hand over the edge of the large bath you’d seen when you’d stolen a peek at his bathroom.

The water is steaming hot, such a comfort to your surprisingly sore body. You hadn’t realized how much your morning activities would stress it. What a work out!

Thor’s already frowned at the bruises he can see he’s left on you. You shut that down quickly. You liked the sex. You’re not about to give it up because he’s a little too strong.

Smart? Probably not. But you’re discovering a whole new side to yourself that you hadn’t known you could be. And the bruises are only on your hips, some on your ass.

You didn’t know that you could be desirable and seductive. Irresistible? Definitely not! But from the way Thor’s hands keep loving on your curves, you must at least be so to him, right? Even if it’s only in a physical, sexual way. It’s more than you ever thought you’d have.

“Nothing.” You swallow your food, tipping your glass against your lips to wash it down with a mouthful of wine.

Before you can say anything else, Thor mashes his lips to yours. His tongue takes a quick dip into your mouth before finishing his kiss with another peck.

“Mmm.” He hums, and you can’t help but laugh.

“What was that for?”

“You taste like raspberries.” He informs you, swiping his thumb across your lips.

“It’s the wine.”

Thor purses his lips, giving you a skeptical look as if you’re lying.

“Mmmmm, you sure?” He smiles, a big goofy grin you hadn’t seen yet.

The expression gives you such joy that you laugh, leaning against his chest as your body shakes with it.

Thor’s eyes are bright, happy, and he gladly dips his head down to kiss your lips as you pucker your lips up at him.

“Can this be real?” You wonder, staring up into his pretty face.

“Why do you think it isn’t? Shall I pinch you?” His hand tickles your side, grabbing gently.

You squirm and laugh, quickly grabbing his hand to stop his pinching.

“No!” You shake with your chuckling. “Stop.”

“I will if you tell me why you can’t believe this is reality.”

“I don’t know? Because it all feels too good to be true?” You turn around slowly, nestling into his lap, his arms wrapping themselves around you instantly as you lean back against him, resting your head against his shoulder.

He kisses your cheek, then rests his own scratchy bearded cheek against your head.

“I mean, it was three days ago that I was sitting in my house, completely alone and would have probably stayed that way until I died. I’ve never felt any kind of interest for anyone before.”

“I’m sure someone would have come along and fallen in love with you. You’re very lovable, cherub. Otherwise, how could you feel so good where I have you?”

Your cheeks are burning hot. If someone held a wick to it, it would light and burn.

You laugh nervously, not believing a single word.

“It’s true.” Thor insists, squeezing you against his body. “If I’m completely honest, no one has ever felt this good before.”

“You just need the affection.” You scoff.

“No.” Thor refuses your thinking. “I like you.”

He drops his voice to a deep whisper. As he says those three words, it becomes thick and heavy. It means a lot. To you. To him. This is a significant moment, and he makes sure to steal your breath with his massive body curling around you from behind and that deep voice that likes to nestle in between your ribs and make it hot there.

“We’ve only just started,” he observes. “Imagine how I’ll feel in a month.”

He’s absolutely wicked with his charm, and you know you’re a lost cause to it. There’s no going back from this now.

“And I did like you, too. Even when I first came to see you. I can’t deny that. I think it’s pretty clear by now, how I feel. But I had no idea that it was to this extent. I didn’t know that I’d go from virgin to what happened today in the blink of an eye.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Thor asks, no fear in his voice but you can feel a tension in his arms.

“Nope. It isn’t.” You shake your head, turning to look at him but he’s so close.

His cheeks are a flushed pink bronze. You realize he’s blushing at your confession much like his made you all flustered too. He’s hot for sure, downright breathtaking, but you had no idea he could be this adorable too. Cute? He’s almost like a puppy in this moment. Sweet and lovable.

You can’t help yourself, so you just kiss his bearded chin, and he quickly turns to meet your lips with his own.

He relaxes, the affection calming him? You’re not sure. But that’s what it feels like and it plays into your theory that he’s been needing the physical reassurance.

You reach up behind his head, fingers delving into the short and wet strands of his hair as he reaches over and forces your head to turn more so that he can kiss you with passion again.

You whimper, his touch intoxicating.

In response to your own sounds of enjoyment, Thor utters a small groan. Slowly he pushes you up, rises, and spins with you until your back is to the edge of the bathing pool. He turns you around, then with kisses to the center of your back to nudge you forward, he guides you into bending over with your chest pressed against the warm edge of the bath. He bends over you completely and pulls you into another passionate kiss, holding your face towards his by grabbing your chin.

Gently he nudges your legs open with his knee and before you can prepare yourself fully, he’s inside you, curling his hips around your bum as he plunges himself deeper.

You break the kiss to gasp with pleasure, the sensation growing on you more and more. As he cups your breasts, you lay your head down and reaching back to hook your hand around his bottom, pulling him towards you when he thrusts making him groan with excitement as he picks up the pace.

~~~~~~~~~~

He’s moaning underneath you. A dramatic, overexaggerated, completely ridiculous display meant only for you as you card your hands through his drying hair. He has his head in your lap, shirtless form with only a baggy pair of black sweats keeping his manly bits private. For you, his face is upside down. But that doesn’t make him any less handsome.

You’re sitting with your back against the headrest, chuckling at the look on his face and the stupid sounds he’s making for your benefit.

“Stop making those noises!” You laugh, “It doesn’t sound right.”

“Or does it sound just right?”

You chuckle continuously, scratching his scalp lightly and his mouth genuinely falls open.

“Oh, that feels so good.”

Silly man.

“Are we going to spend the rest of the day in bed?” You wonder, not minding the idea one bit.

He mumbles something indistinct. Maybe nonsense? You’re not sure. But you laugh again.

“What?”

“Please, don’t stop.” He begs.

You lapse into silence, letting this blissful moment stretch on until your mind starts to wander.

You’ve realized that the affection he’s after isn’t just that, but he’s also touch starved.

You are too, but that makes sense. You’ve been single your whole life.

It’s weird for him. He’s been with Jane for a while. Why does it feel like these displays of affection from you are something he’s been yearning for? Maybe not from you specifically, but the touch is welcomed. Eagerly.

“Can I ask you something?” You keep stroking his hair, nails lightly grazing his scalp in small circles.

“Mmmmmmm…” He looks like he might fall asleep, his one blue eye shut.

“I know you said that you picked me because of what I told you my ideal marriage was like. Is this part of a marriage important for you? Physical affection? Is that what you liked about the description I gave you?” You reach down to stroke his cheek, loving the feel of his beard against your skin.

Thor opens his eye, staring up at you with a torn expression. What does it mean?

“I liked the image you painted of us.” He reaches up, caressing the back of your neck. “I should be more honest with you.”

Fuck. Is it bad news?

“Truth is, Jane and I haven’t really been together for about half a year. We hadn’t broken up officially or anything. And it isn’t so much that we haven’t seen each other just because we’re busy but we haven’t tried to see each other.

“If we had tried a little harder, I think we could have still kept things going for a bit longer, but…” He doesn’t finish his thought and instead leaves you to wonder if maybe Jane didn’t want to try? Or maybe he didn’t want to? Which is silly because he’s been holding out for her.

It’s what almost ruined your opinion of him.

“But you still love each other?” You’re confused, his love for her is so obvious.

“Many people who love each other drift apart. If both parties are not willing to keep the relationship going, even the strongest love can be inconsequential.”

His eye is trained on the ceiling above, a beautiful ornate wooden design carved by Asgardian artisans. He’s lost in thoughts. Depressing ones it looks like.

You don’t like the idea of him being unhappy. It stings a little on a personal level too to know that it’s because of his pining for an ex-love.

But you want him to know that you’ve heard him. You understand his feelings as best as you can.

“I’m sorry she doesn’t know what she’s losing.” You mean it too.

Jane is losing out on such a beautiful soul. Alien or not, Thor is entrancing.

You can’t picture your life without Thor now. Even if your feelings are still growing and nowhere near where his and Jane’s are for each other, the idea of never feeling his kiss again, his weight on you? It’s unbearable to think about.

He told you he likes you! That means something, right?

He’s also so sweet and funny. He really is a dream. If he hadn’t propositioned you during that first meeting of feigning your marriage, he’d be perfect. But no one can be perfect and you’re pretty sure he must have been desperate as hell at the time.

“But maybe I should write her a thank you note?” You place your hands on both sides of his face, thumbs stroking his cheekbones. “If she had agreed to marry you, I wouldn’t be here. And I’m so…so lucky to be here, Thor.”

You sigh heavily, having been thinking about this since your bath at noon.

“I thought I was going to be married to someone who wouldn’t care about me.” You confess. “I thought I was doomed to living a life without real feeling. But what we have…it isn’t normal, right? This kind of connection isn’t common?”

You could be wrong. This isn’t something you’re knowledgeable about. Not even a little bit.

“No. It’s not.” Thor agrees, reaching up to hook his hand around the back of your neck, a gentle squeeze to emphasize his words.

“We’re lucky, Thor.” You nod, smiling hopefully because for the first time since all of this craziness began, you can see the life you’d imagined for your ideal marriage as a true possibility.

There might be more to it. It’s not just a marriage, but a duty. You’ll be Queen and Thor is already King. There’s going to be more than days like this with him. There’ll be obligations and maybe even things that you won’t want to do.

Days like this will make it worth it.

Thor smiles at you, his body relaxed again after getting things off his chest.

“We’re lucky.” He agrees and pulls you down until he can kiss you.

Upside down, the kiss is a little strange. You huff a laugh against his lips until he reaches up to take hold of your head and tilt it to the side so that he can silence you with a deeper kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright, I’m here.” Thor announces, strutting into his war room on the second floor.

It’s a simple room, large as it is. Round like his bedroom, with no windows. There’s a doorway to the right on the far end that leads to a small tower hidden among the various roofs of the palace. That’s his strategic viewpoint. That’s where he can see invaders if invaders are stupid enough to try and come here.

“You’re late.” Loki says, off-hand, not paying attention. He's focused on what’s before him. Busy.

There’s no urgency in his voice so Thor stops just inside the door, hands finding his hips as he stands there staring at his brother.

The silence is almost endless until Loki looks up and does a double take at the sight of Thor standing there wearing a pair of baggy black sweats and a ratty old gray shirt. It’s clean. Just full of frays and tears.

“I see we’ve completely given up.” Loki observes. “One day with your fiancé and you think you can relax and walk around looking like an Earth frat boy?”

“How do you know what a frat boy is?”

“I’ve been on Earth longer than you have I think.” Loki scoffs. “I had to scope out the planet before I tried to take it over, remember?”

“That’s not something I would go around bragging about, brother. The people of Earth might not realize you’ve changed.” Thor finally moves in further, sitting himself down on the large throne-like seat at the head of a very large round table that doubles as a battle map.

This is what Loki had been focused on.

As he sits back, relaxing in his comfy chair, he sighs heavily. Happily. Hands resting on his stomach as he stares at the table, zoning out with thoughts of the copious amount of times he’d made love to you today.

Loki’s continued silence begins to draw his attention and he turns to look at him only to find him with narrowed and suspicious eyes.

“What did you do?” Loki demands, “Why do you look so pleased with yourself?”

“Hm? Nothing. I did nothing.” Thor assures him, sitting up a little straighter and clearing his throat.

Loki knows him too well. The way Thor spreads his legs, wide apart as he claims the room as his own with his mere presence. There are only two reasons his brother takes that posture.

“I know you, Thor. You’ve either defeated an enemy in battle within the last few hours of the day—which is clearly impossible since you’ve been holed up in your bedroom this entire time. Or you’ve gone and bedded some woman until you’re entirely spent.”

Thor clears his throat, avoiding his brother’s eyes.

“Thor,” He already sounds upset. “I thought you were going to wait until you were married to her?”

His demanding tone, the upset brings a sense of slight shame to Thor’s beautiful memories of the day.

Quickly he wipes that away. It was a day well spent, growing closer to you and forming a bond that will help you both in your marriage.

“We were supposed to!” Thor argues.

“How could you bed her two days before the wedding?”

“She asked me to!” Thor counters, getting to his feet as he gestures towards the door with both hands flat, palms up.

“As if I’d believe that.” Loki frowns.

“She did! I swear to you, I tried to refuse her.”

“Not very hard, I imagine.” Loki scoffs.

“Loki, the last thing that I want to do is take advantage of Y/N. She’s honest and true. She doesn’t play games and she’s up front about what she wants. She told me that she wanted to be with me because she felt it was right, not because she was required to in order to consummate our marriage.

“And honestly, I’m glad that we did it. Not only do I know now that she and I are compatible in that way, but it meant more for her to do so willingly. I wasn’t exactly eager to bed her knowing that she was only doing it because it was something she was obligated to do either. We were both of one mind on that front.”

Loki’s eyes are sharp, trained on Thor as he explains himself and crosses the room to a small table against the right curved wall to pour himself a glass of ale. He’s able to see that Thor is not lying. Everything he just said is the truth. And while he worries about you and Thor too, he can see that this is probably for the best.

He thinks about it as Thor drinks, then accepts this new phase of your courtship.

“Well, I suppose it’s never too early to start working for that heir.”

Thor sputters on his drink, coughing and gasping.

He thumps his chest, turning to Loki as he zones out again with thoughts of the copious amount of times he’d made love to you today, and each and every time he released within you.

True, you and he would have had to start on an heir quickly. It’s what the people want, as well as the Ambassadors for Earth. They want tangible ties to the human race.

Still, Thor’s heart begins to pound at the idea of your belly swelling with his babe.

It’s not an unpleasant thought. In fact, the more he pictures it, the more he likes it.

Because he’s an idiot, he tries to picture Jane like that too.

They’d never even discussed children.

Jane had been focused on her work and Thor had been too happy to step aside and wait for her to be ready.

He finds he can’t picture Jane the way he can picture you, sweet smile caressing your belly as you look up to meet his eye. Smile widening before you reach out towards him, “Come feel, he’s kicking.”

His imagination is surprisingly vivid and his heart swells.

“A head start on siring an heir isn’t a bad idea. You should spend tomorrow doing the same.” Loki suggests.

Thor reaches up to rub along his chest, right over his heart as that feeling of fullness keeps growing.

“Aye,” Thor agrees, but his words are a whisper to himself. “I think I just might.”

“What?” Loki asks, Thor too quiet for him to hear.

“Nothing. What was the threat you wanted to speak of?” Thor moves back to his seat, but rather than take it, he stands, staring at the simple map of Earth.

Loki isn’t looking at the map, however. He’s got what looks like a silver bowl on top of it, a glistening silver liquid within.

“A window.” Thor realizes.

“Just a small one.” Loki nods, staring intently at the serene liquid.

“What do you see?”

Thor only sees the silver liquid.

“Stirrings. They’re quiet, and only shadows for the time being. I sense Jotunheim.” Loki murmurs darkly.

“Laufey?” The worry is heavy on his mind now, nothing but this threat matters to Thor. In this moment, he’s got one thing on his mind.

“Perhaps.” Loki nods.

“But you killed him. Didn’t you? You saved father and mother. Another trick, brother?” Thor spits, almost angry. Mostly just suspicious.

“No.” Loki insists, giving his brother a frown. “Not on my side. I thought he was dead. I’m not sure if it’s him but it feels like Laufey.”

“What does this mean?”

“I’m not sure yet, Thor. As I said, it’s only a stirring. I’ll have to keep watch.”

“Have you shared this with the guard? Brunnhilde? Sif?” Thor asks.

“Yes.” Loki nods, waving his hand over the silver. “Sif has gone to hurry the Warrior’s Three back in case something should come before the wedding. Don’t worry, brother. As soon as I have more information, I will come to you.”

With a heavy sigh, Thor crosses his bulging arms over his hardened chest. Now his mind is preoccupied. Worries begin to grow. The safety of his people first and foremost.

They don’t have the armor or weapons to defend the city much less the surrounding human cities in the area. If the Jotunn should rise again, their wrath would not stop with New Asgard.

“Thor?”

“Hm?” He’s still mostly distracted, out of it as his mind races to plan ahead for all contingencies.

“Don’t you have a pretty future Queen of Asgard waiting in your bedroom? Did you not have something to do?”

Thor’s gaze eventually wanders over to Loki. He understands he should say something, so he nods. “Right, of course. Right. Keep me posted.”

He walks around him, through the door and back up to his floor. At the end of the hall he sees the light seeping through the bottom of the door. The warm glow of the lit fire.

Moving towards it, he doesn’t see it or the comforts it promises. He can only see the thousands of faces of his people, looking to him for guidance and reassurance. Their safety is in his hands. He can fight for days, weeks without stopping if he has to in order to protect those under his care, but he’s one man. How will he protect them all?

He can’t be there to block every blow.

The weight of his crown is heavy, feet falling heavy against the wooden floor.

A fear begins to bubble up in his chest, shifting and squirming, making him feel sick to his stomach. His hand shakes as he reaches out to take hold of the handle to his door. As he takes it, he squeezes harder than he means to and the metal groans beneath his grip.

When he pushes the door open, a wave of warmth washes over him, pulling him out of the grip of the cool hallway air.

He hears a groan from his desk chair.

Searching for it, he spots you sitting with your back twisted as you hold to the arm, turning to face him.

It’s the sight of you that clears his head and steadies his heart.

Sitting there with in his pink sweater again, this time a pair of thick wool socks on your feet. One is scrunched around your ankles, the other holding firm to your lovely, well explored calf.

You take his breath away as you smile at him, your eyes searching his face. Your pretty smile falters, a scrunch between your eyes as notice his distress.

“Is everything okay?” You ask him, the laptop behind you abandoned mid-sentence on whatever work you’re writing.

He stops by the door. It shuts behind him. You stand up and Thor’s mind is bathed with the delicious image of you again, belly swollen with his child.

This time you’re not smiling and beckoning him for a feel of a kick. Instead, you’re standing before him, your hands resting against that belly, your face twisted in honest concern.

This time he doesn’t have to imagine what you would say because you open your mouth now and say, “C-Can I help? Thor? What can I do?”

Nothing.

You can do absolutely nothing if a Jotunn army comes to freeze the Earth over. Their cradle is gone but their power comes from magic. Magic in their blood. And they’re strong enough to do damage without the cradle.

So, even though you ask, and he knows that the answer is nothing, just the fact that you ask. That adorable little crinkle between your eyes.

His mind returns and in three long strides he’s got you up in his arms. He kisses you hard, overcome with gratitude and that image in his head of you pregnant both smiling and worried. It’s too much for him and how can he show you how much your offer means to him?

How can he show you that your own strife over his feelings for Jane is unnecessary?

The only way he can think of in this moment is without words. With his hands and his lips and his body.

“Mm.” You mumble, resisting. You push yourself back a bit and Thor lets you get away but keeps you held against his body; your legs wrapped around his waist. “Thor, what’s wrong?”

Your hands are so gentle against his cheeks, caressing his beard, stroking it as if the feel of it brings you pleasure.

He pushes forward, past your little grip and buries his face against the side of your neck.

You smell like rosewater. And something else. Something just you. You’ve taken another bath in his absence. He can’t blame you after all of the loving he’s given you today.

Without another query you wrap your arms around his shoulders, one hand making soothing circles between his shoulder blades, the other on the back of his head in a supportive caress.

Thor is absolutely melting from all this affection you’re giving him.

How had he survived without it?

How had he gone so hard for so long and only now realized that he’d been waiting to exhale.

Here in your arms, he can breathe finally. Even though the weight of Asgard is on his shoulders, and the weight of the Earth and the nine realms too, with you here holding him up he can take solace for a bit.

He carries you back to the bed, sits on the edge, and you readjust your legs so that you can keep them on either side of him but hold yourself up a bit more steadily. Thor loves the way you seem to flow with his movements. You respond and he adjusts for you too.

After what feels like an hour, he pulls back to look up at your beautiful face.

“Where have you been all of my life?” He whispers, voice choked from the breath he’d finally breathed.

“I’m here now.” You nod, “And I won’t go anywhere unless you want me to.”

Thor scoffs at the idea, such a completely stupid and ridiculous thought for you to have because he cannot possibly exist without you in his life now.

He realizes it now more than before. The sex had been fantastic. Much needed. The intimacy welcomed and yearned for, though not exactly from you until you gave it and he realized that it was exactly your type of intimacy he’d been looking for.

There’s something more to what you can give him. More to what you’re already providing him with.

To his great pleasure, and he hopes to yours too, there’s one more thing he needs from you. Something that he hopes you’re willing to give.

“Let’s make a babe.” He says, and he can see your breath hitch.

The way he can see your mind go blank and fuzzy and then try to process what he’s just said is endearing. You’re always so shocked by his displays of attachment.

He can’t exactly blame you. It’s only been three days. Still, he’s felt more in these three days than he has over years with anyone else.

This feels so close to love, he’s almost certain that for him it already is. But he’ll hold off telling you until he’s completely sure. He meant what he told Hilde and Loki. He doesn’t want to hurt you.

Not ever.

“Wh-what?” You finally stutter, your lips shaking as you speak.

He smiles, reaches up to trace your bottom one with his thumb and they part for him, a response no doubt curated by the many situations he’s placed you in today. Every touch had been a request to come closer and every time you’d opened up for him.

“We’ll have to have one eventually. Soon, too. The Ambassadors will want a human Asgardian heir as soon as possible to make sure that I’ll have a reason to protect the human species as much as my own.

“But mostly I really just want to see you heavy with my child, cherub. We’ll make many little angels together. Sooner, rather than later.” Thor hooks his hand behind your neck, giving it a squeeze as he pulls you towards his lips.

You pucker up instantly the closer you get, your eyes peeled however, trained on his own electric blue as if you’re waiting for him to say it’s a joke.

He gives you a peck, just reassurance for you.

“You do?” You breathe, airy and short.

“I do. Let me make you a true mother of Asgard.” He whispers, and he can see your skin pimple. He reaches down to run his hand up along your arm, only making the goosebumps more pronounced as he tries to soothe them.

Thor can see you struggling to find the words. It doesn’t look like a negative thing.

He brings his hands down to our thighs, running them up to push the sweater you’re wearing up a bit until his fingers find the crease of your bent legs just below your hips. He tickles you there and you squirm, accidentally rubbing up against him just right.

“Let me fill you up, my sweet, sweet cherub.” He gushes, hoping it’s not coercion he’s inflicting and hopefully just reassurance. “I want you to the be the mother of my children. Only you.”

And then you pounce.

Thor is taken aback by the weight you throw on him, the flurry to get his pants down and his shirt yanked up over his head. He traces your sides, fingers dragging across your skin slowly which only seems to drive you crazier.

You kiss him hard at first, then after a minute, it softens.

You pull back to look down at him and Thor tries to read that look in your eyes. He tries to understand the resolve there, the grit he can see.

Then you’re kissing him again, these electric fire kisses that seem to make the world around him blur until all he can see, feel, hear, or care about is you and your body and pulling those little chuckles from you in the middle of your romp because the way your voice suddenly shifts into a moan from the happy sound drives him wild and all he wants to do is make you call his name.

What is this intoxication he has with you? That apple taste of you, so much like ale, draws him in and there’s no escaping you now. You’re his, and he can see in your eyes that he is truly yours.

Willingly he gives himself up to you. All thoughts of Jane driven from his mind because how can anyone compare to this draw of you? This perfection?

“Oh, Thor…” You whimper, his hands pulling you slowly against his hips as he pushes himself up with his other arm.

He hits you deep, stretching you wide as he stuffs you with his cock. Your hand is tight around his shoulder, nails digging hard as you bite your lip and muffle your moan.

“No…” He pulls you to him, sitting up then standing up and taking you with him. He turns around then with you falls to the bed. “…no. Let me hear you. I wanna hear you.”

He thrusts in deeper and you cry out loud, legs wrapping around his waist to yank him closer.

“Like that.” Thor whispers, approving of the sound you just made.

He thrusts again and it’s breathier, but still a cry and anyone in the palace will know that he’s made you his, body and soon soul too.

Will he ever tire of your body? Will he ever tire of these sighs and moans?

He doesn’t even need to ask because he knows.

Never.

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Part 17

Steven Hyde x Reader

Happy Friday guys! I can’t believe this story has been going on this long lol I didn’t think it would get this far. But here we are! Let me know what you think and if you’d like to be added to the tagslist, please let me know and I’d be more than happy to add you :) I’m not too sure how much longer this is going go tbh. I don’t want it go on for too long but I also have quite a bit to still put in, so it might just be be longer chapters. Who knows. Let me know what you think in the comments! Plus, I love hearing from you all. Enjoy the chapter!

“So, have you heard from Hyde?” Donna asked y/n over the phone.           

 “No,” she replied glumly. “It’s been three days. He hasn’t come home and I’ve had to tell my parents that he took a few days to go be with his dad in Milwaukee.”            

“What about Eric?”            

“He’s still acting weird,” Y/n answered, sighing into the phone. “He barley looks at me and doesn’t even talk to me. And if he does, it’s short and kind of awkward. He can’t even make eye contact with me.”           

 “Yeah,” Donna said absentmindedly. “He isn’t even talking to me. And I’m his girlfriend!”            

“Well, to be fair, you are in California visiting your mom.”            

“There’s still the phone!”            

“Fair point,” Y/n said and turned onto her back as she laid on her bed. “I still haven’t told my parents. I’m so scared.”           

 “Hyde is too.”           

 “Clearly or else he’d be here.” Y/n sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. She hadn’t gotten enough sleep these last few days, tossing and turning all night.            

“Are you okay though?” Donna asked, concern laced in her voice.           

 “Honestly? No. But I don’t have a choice but to be. I’m going to have a baby and I have to be strong for it. No matter how hard it may be.”            

 “You are so strong,” Donna said and wished she could y/n a hug. “You’re going to make it through this. This won’t last forever.”          

  “God, I hope so.”           

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. If you ever need a place to stay, you can stay over at my place.”            

“Thank you, Donna. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”           

 “Yeah, I know,” Donna joked making y/n laugh. “You’re my best friend. That’s what they do.”           

 “When do you get back?”           

 “Tomorrow. You want to come and get me from the airport?”           

 “I’d love that,” Y/n answered. “We can go grab some food while we’re at it. I’ve been throwing up so much that I feel like I can eat a whole restaurant.”            

Donna chuckled. “Pregnancy will do that to you.”            

Y/n smiled. “You have no idea.”            

“Alright, well, I’m going to go. My mom wants to take me to the beach and out to eat before I leave.”            

“Okay, well you have fun.”            

“I will. I’ll see you tomorrow.”           

 “See you tomorrow.”            

Y/n  hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling for a while. Tears threatened to spill down the side of her face, but she forced them down. Hyde was coming back, she knew him. She knew his heart. He wouldn’t abandon them like the man he thought was his father did. He loved her. Right?           

 “ Y/n, honey?” Kitty called from down the hall, snapping Y/n out of her thoughts. “ Y/n, dinner is ready!”           

 “Ok, I’ll be down in a minute, Mom,” she replied and sat up from her bed. She took a quick glance in the mirror, checking out her baby bump. She sighed in relief when she saw she wasn’t showing yet. “Soon, though,” she whispered to herself as she walked out her room.           

She walked in the kitchen to be greeted by everyone, except for Steven.            

“So, have either of you heard from Steven?” Kitty asked the twins as she set down the chicken.            

“Who cares? He’s out of the house,” Laurie commented.            

“Laurie, hush,” Kitty said sternly.            

 “No, I have not heard from him,” Y/n said sourly. “What about you Eric?”            

“Yeah, he called,” Eric said, not looking up from his plate. “He said he’ll be back tomorrow night.”             

“Oh, good!” Kitty smiled and sat down with her family.           

 “Yeah, great,” Laurie deadpanned, earning an elbow to the ribs from Y/n.             

“Why don’t you like him?” she asked.            

“Because he mooches off of mom and daddy,” she replied.            

“Wh—” Y/n started, confused. “So do you!”           

 “No, I don’t,” she argued. “All I’m saying is that Mom and Dad work really hard around here and nothing here is cheap.”            

“Except you,” Eric quipped, earning a laugh from his twin.           

 Laurie rolled her eyes, feeling agitated. “Believe me, I’m not cheap.”            

“Fine, free. Whatever,” the twins said together and then looked at each other before laughing. If Y/n were being honest, she was happy that they were laughing together at something. Even though that something was their older sister. Even if Y/n wasn’t pregnant she still gets a kick out of it.           

 “Okay, that’s enough you three,” Red said, unamused.            

Y/n and Eric were still giggling as they turned back to their plates. As Y/n looked down at the plate in front of her, chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and rolls, she couldn’t help but scrunch up her nose. Her heightened senses made everything smell so gross now and it was driving her crazy.           

 “What’s the matter?” Kitty asked, noticing her daughter’s distain towards the food. “Is something wrong with my chicken?”            

Y/n’s eyes snapped up to meet her mother’s. “No, no! Not at all, just…uh…not sure if I’m feeling chicken tonight.”           

 “But you love chicken,” Kitty said, almost sad.            

Y/n saw her mom’s sad eyes and panicked. “No, no it’s good! See.” She shoved a leg into her mouth and felt the juices drip down her chin

 She wanted to gag, but forced herself not to. Not now, kid.            

Y/n hummed in satisfaction as she swallowed the chicken, earning a smile from her mother. “So good.”            

“Huh,” Laurie said, pouting in thought. “Why does that look and sound familiar?” 

“Maybe because it’s usually you—” Eric started before Kitty cut him off, screaming.           

 “Eric, if you want to live to see your grand-children, you better not finish that sentence,” she warned. Eric looked over to Red who was giving him a hard stare.           

 Eric quickly looked down at his plate and was quiet for the rest of the evening.                                                                 

                                                  --Time Skip—           

Y/n found her head in the toilet that night, emptying the contents of her stomach of the evening’s meal into the toilet. She was trying hard to be discreet, but that showed to be a failure when Eric knocked on the door.            

“ Y/n? Are you okay?”           

 “What do you want—” Her head immediately went back into the toilet.            

Eric let himself in and saw his sister in her weakened and vulnerable state. He gathered her hair in his hands and rubbed her back. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”           

 “Mom’s chicken didn’t agree with me,” she whined, wiping the drool from her mouth with a piece of toilet paper. “Or the baby didn’t agree with the chicken.”          

  “God, I’m sorry,” Eric sympathized. “Look, we need to talk, but first, maybe you should brush your teeth.”           

 “I feel like we’ve been having a lot of talks lately,” Y/n tried to joke, but only came off as a whimper and she could feel her stomach churning again. She turned her face into the toilet once again and let out a long, painful, retched noise. “This kid is going to kill me,” she groaned.            

Eric waited until Y/n was finished vomiting before helping her up and taking her to her room. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”            

“Well to stop vomiting would be nice, but what I really need is to know where Hyde is,” she said, staring at her brother. “When were you going to tell me that he called? Why didn’t he want to talk to me?”            

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” he said and sat at her desk chair. “This isn’t easy for any of us, you know this.”            

“Oh, I’m so sorry that you have to carry the burden of mine and Hyde’s baby,” Y/n said, rolling his eyes.             

Eric sighed frustratingly. “ Y/n, focus will you?”            

She shut her mouth and looked at Eric nervously.             

“He’s coming back,” he started. “He just needed a few days to think. He even got a hold of his dad in Milwaukee and spoke to him, but he’s not sure how he’s supposed to handle this. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you would be upset. He wanted to talk to you, but he said he needs to talk to you face to face.”            

Tears started to burn her eyes. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Eric,” she croaked. “I’ve been alone in this since he left. The only person who was there for me was Donna and Jackie. And Donna has been gone in California for a few days while Jackie has been…well, being Jackie. The father of my child disappeared and my own brother wouldn’t even speak to me. Do you have any idea how crushing it is to be alone in this?”            

“See, that’s the thing, you’re not alone!” Eric said. “Regardless of how I or Mom and Dad feel, you’re still going to have help raising this baby. Whether I like it or not, I’m going to be the uncle to my best friend’s and twin sister’s baby. Trust me, this isn’t what I thought would happen at all, but it did. And I came to realize that there is no point in being mad at you when it’s already done. I want to be here for you and Hyde. This is going to be my niece or nephew and…I don’t know, it’s kind of growing on me.”            

Tears continued to flow down Y/n’s face. “Thank you, Eric. That means so much.”            

Confused, Eric reached out to her and pulled her in. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”            

“No,” she sniffed and hiccupped. “Just pregnancy hormones.”            

“And we’re all going to have to deal with this for eight more months. Yayyy,” Eric mused.            

Y/n laughed and sat up. She stared down at her lap for a minute while Eric studied her. Something was on her mind and he knew it. “Talk to me.”            

She looked back up and wiped at her eyes. “Is Hyde going to leave me to raise this baby by myself?”            

“What? No, of course not,” Eric said gently. “Look, he loves you. He’s told me so. I don’t see him leaving. He knows if he does anymore screw ups, I’m going to kick his ass.”            

“Your leg would break midair before it could,” Y/n joked earning a laugh from Eric.            

“Yeah, probably,” he joked.            

“I feel like I’ve asked this more than I should, but…are we good?”            

Eric nodded, giving her a half smile. “Yeah, we’re good.”            

Y/n smiled at her twin. “So, uh, how do you think Dad is going to take it?”            

“Well,” he said, thinking. “I’ve come to two possibilities. One, he kills you and Hyde. Or two, he’ll get so mad, his head will explode.”            

Y/n laughed once again, the weight on her shoulders lifting a little.                                                

                                                  --Time Skip—            

The next night, Y/n and the gang sat in the basement with Hyde still missing. 

After Y/n had picked up Donna, they had picked up burgers for everyone.           

 “Thanks for dinner, Y/n,” Kelso said.             

“No problem,” she answered with a mouthful of fries. “I’ve been craving burgers and thought I could get everyone some, so you all don’t feel left out.”           

“Well, you should get pregnant more often,” Kelso laughed into his burger.            

Y/n gave him a ‘are you dumb’ look. “I think I’m going to pass on that.”            

“So, Eric,” Kelso continued, licking his fingers. “Now that we’re past the awkward stage about Y/n’s pregnancy, all I gotta say is BURN!”            

The group laughed, but Eric’s face remained stoic. “Hilarious.”           

 “C’mon, Eric, you’re going to be an uncle,” Jackie chimed in. “Aren’t you excited?”            

“Well, kind of actually,” he answered honestly.            

“Wait, really?” Y/n asked in surprised, mouth full of food.            

“Yeah, but I’m not excited what’s going to happen when Dad finds out.”            

“Yeah, we’re going to hear on the news that the Forman’s house blew up,” Fez joked.            

“Make sure we’re all in our basements, duck and cover,” Donna said, laughing with the group.            

“You guys are hilarious,” Y/n deadpanned and took a sip of her milkshake.            

“I’d like to think we are,” Fez said.            

Y/n chuckled as she took a bite of her burger. “It’s all fun and games until a father with anger issues explodes.”            

“I’m going to have to disappear for a few days, or weeks…or years,” Eric said, staring in the distance. “You know what, I’ll just start packing for Mexico now.”            

“Shut up, Eric. Dad’s not going to blame you.”           

 “Oh really?” Eric asked, setting aside his finished food. “When you failed your geometry test sophomore year, he asked me why I didn’t help you study. When I told I didn’t pass the test either, he asked why I didn’t help you cheat.” He shook his head.            

“Well, I don’t think a geometry test is equivalent to a baby,” Y/n responded. “And besides, I don’t think you wanted to be there to stop me from getting pregnant.”            

“Yeah, thanks for that.” Eric scrunched his face in disgust while everyone agreed how gross and creepy that would be.            

“Anyway,” Donna said, clearing her throat. “Have you thought about what you want to have?”            

“Not really,” Y/n replied and finished off her burger. “I’ll love them whether they’re a boy or a girl.”            

“Do you think you’ll have twins since you’re one?” Jackie asked.            

“Nah,” she replied. “It’s like, less than one percent chance of having twins. I highly doubt it.”             

“Well, if you have a girl, you should name her Jackie,” Jackie said. “If it’s a boy, Jack.”            

“You hate it when I call you Jack,” Y/n pointed out.            

“Yeah, but if it’s a baby named after me, I can deal with it,” she said and flipped her hair.            

Y/n rolled her eyes. “I’m not naming my baby after you.”            

“Why not?!”            

“Because I don’t need that hanging over my head!” Y/n responded and took the last bite of her burger. “We’re going to name the baby something completely different.”            

“Like what?” Fez asked.            

“I don’t know,” Y/n shrugged. “I’m only four weeks.”            

“When’s your doctor’s appointment?” Eric asked.            

“In two weeks,” Y/n answered. “They’re going to see if they can detect a heartbeat.”            

“Yeah, they have this really cool machine now where they can use the ultrasound to see and hear the baby’s heartbeat. It’s pretty cool,” Donna said. “Kelso, did they use that with Brooke’s pregnancy?”            

“Yeah, it was really cool,” Kelso responded and threw away his trash. “It’s really beautiful to see your baby like that.”           

 “Didn’t they give you a picture?” Y/n asked.            

“Yes. Brooke still has it on her fridge.”            

“How exciting!” Jackie said.             

“Yeah,” Y/n trailed off.            

“What?” Fez asked.            

“Well, seeing my baby, it’s going to make it real,” she whispered.            

“Well, it already is,” Donna said. “But it’s going to be okay.”            

She was rubbing a comforting hand on Y/n’s shoulder when the door swung open. Y/n turned to see Hyde standing there with the same clothes he wore three days prior. She wanted to run into his arms and kiss him, but she also wanted to punch him in the face.            

“Hey,” he greeted her, rather awkwardly.             

“Hey,” she replied gravely.            

“Where the hell have you been?” Donna asked him.            

“I was just driving around. Went up to Milwaukee to see my dad.”            

“Where did you sleep?” Fez asked.            

“Either in my car or a motel.”            

Y/n nodded and looked down at her hands. Her stomach knotting up and tears burning the back of her eyes.            

“Look, Y/n, we need to talk—”            

“You left me,” she snapped. “You promised you wouldn’t, but you did.”            

“I didn’t leave you,” he argued. “I just needed some time to think.”            

Y/n stood to face him. “You were gone for three days! You didn’t even call to speak to me. You spoke to Eric instead!”            

“I know, but please listen to me—can you hang on a second?” He turned his attention to the group. “Would you guys get out of here?”            

The group turned and walked away, but only a few feet and huddled in the corner by the stairs so they could listen. Y/n rolled her eyes and turned back to Steven.            

“ Y/n, please believe me when I say I really wanted to talk to you, but I needed to see you first.”            

“Okay,” she said and crossed her arms. “Go ahead. Talk.”            

Hyde exhaled and scratched the back of his head. “I…I panicked, okay? This was the last thing I was expecting.”            

“And I was?!” Y/n asked, voice rising. “See, here’s the difference between you and me: if I ran like you did, I wouldn’t be able to run away from my problems. Because wherever I go, it goes. I can’t outrun this problem, Steven. Even if I wanted to. But you did and when I needed you the most, you weren’t here!”            

“I know. I know I messed up, but that’s why I’m here. I l—” he looked at the group who awkwardly (and not subtly) looked away in other directions, making it look like they weren’t listening. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? It’s a lot to take in. We’re barley out of high school and I get hit with, ‘You’re going to be a father.’ God, I can’t believe this is happening. How is this happening?” He turned away from her, hands rubbing his eyes.            

“Well, it is,” Y/n said. “I’m just as scared as you, but I didn’t run away.”            

“I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to be gone as long as I was. I just needed to think of what I was going to do. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” he said. “I didn’t have a dad growing up. The only one I knew was Bud and he ran out on me. I’m not sure I even know how to be one. What if I end up being just like him? I can’t do that to you.”            

“Okay, guys, I think we should go,” Donna whispered once she realized where this conversation was heading. “We’ll talk to them later.”           

 “But I wanna listen,” Kelso whined, but hissed when Jackie pinched his nipple. “Damn, Jackie!”            

“Let’s go, Michael,” she said sternly.             

The group retreated upstairs, leaving Y/n and Hyde alone in the basement. Hyde sunk down onto the coffee table and put his head in his hands. Y/n sat down next him and rubbed a comforting hand on his back.            

“Well, you’re not going to be like Bud.”            

“How do you know that?”            

“Because you left out someone who did become a father to you: Red. He stuck around and continued to help you even when you pissed him off. He’ll never say it, but he loves you. And if anything, you’ll be like him.”            

“He’s not going to when he finds out what I did to you.”            

Y/n made a face at him. “You knocked me up, you didn’t kill me.”            

“What are we going to do?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she responded. “I don’t know about you, but I’m terrified.”

“You have no idea. My job doesn’t pay me enough to support you and a kid. I don’t even think I get benefits. Aw, crap…should we just get married?”            

Y/n made a face at him. “’Aw, crap. Should we just get married?’ Is that how you fix things?”            

“How else do you suggest we fix this?” he asked.            

“Well, by not getting engaged!” Y/n pointed out and stood up. “You really think us getting married because we’re having a baby is the right answer?”            

“Well, what do you suggest?”           

 “I don’t know, Steven, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me.”     

Y/n started pacing the floor while Hyde stared at the wall, desperate to find an answer.            

“By the way, I didn’t kiss her,” he piped up after a moment of silence. “She kissed me.”            

“I know,” Y/n stopped pacing. “Everyone told me.”            

“Good,” he said and sighed. “I was afraid you would think I’d do that to you.”            

“You’re a lot of things, Steven, but a cheater isn’t one of them.”            

“I hope those are good things,” he chuckled halfheartedly, trying to lighten the mood.            

She smiled gently at him. “Most of them are. You’re still a huge pain in the ass though.”            

Hyde lifted the corner of his mouth in amusement. “Maybe, I can get a job with W.B.,” he suggested. “He might’ve…already offered me a job.”            

“Hey, that’s great!” Y/n said excitedly and sat down next to him.            

“I think I might take it.”            

“You should,” she encouraged him. “I applied to the state college here, but I think I’m going to apply to the community college and get a part time job.”            

“No, let me worry about the bills,” he said. “I’m the man, that’s what I’m supposed to do.”            

She squinted at him. “This isn’t twenty years ago. I can work and help with the bills.”            

“It’s okay, really.” He turned and grabbed her hands. “Let me work and take care of the bills while you go to school.”            

“Okay, well, we’re going to have to figure out where to live. I’m pretty sure my parents don’t want a baby living in the house.”            

“Yeah, we’ll start apartment hunting,” he grunted and stood up.             

Y/n watched him pace back and forth; he sighed and rubbed his face. He stopped pacing and looked lost in thought. “Maybe it is with you,” he said suddenly and gently.            

“What?”            

“Just now when you asked if us getting married was the right answer because we’re having a baby, I’m saying maybe it is. I mean,” he continued. “This is not exactly ideal, but we did talk about settling down before. Maybe, you know, this time is…now?”           

Y/n blinked. “Are you…actually asking me to marry you right now?”            

“Well…” he drew out, suddenly acting shy. “I guess I am.” He scratched his head.             

She shook her head. “Steven, I told you I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me.”            

“See, that’s the thing I don’t,” he answered quickly. “I actually want to.”            

She raised her eyebrows. “You do?”            

“Yes. I know how I used to feel about marriage, but that was when I thought all women were the same or…like my mom.” Y/n chuckled lightly along with Hyde and he continued. “But, you’ve changed all that. You forced me to see a different picture painted in a whole new light and honestly…it’s refreshing.”            

“I feel the same way,” she said, giving him a shy smile.            

“I just, uh…I wanted to do this right. You know?”            

“Well,” she said quietly, her heart thumping wildly. “You still can.”            

“I don’t even have a ring. Not yet at least.”            

“It’s okay,” Y/n whispered.             

Hyde smiled so sweetly at her before nervously grabbing her hand and getting down on one knee. “I know that nothing about our situation has been easy. We’ve only been together for a short while, but I’ve known you my whole life. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and for the first time I actually mean it when I say I love a girl and not just saying it to sleep with her.”             

Y/n squeezed his hand a little tighter as he continued. “And as much as I used to hate commitment then, you’ve changed me. You make me a better man. If you’ll have me, I promise to stay and do my best to make you happy because you make me happiest that I have ever been.”            

Tears pricked the corner of Y/n’s eyes as she smiled widely. She couldn’t believe this was happening because she never thought it would. She remembers when he used to be so against marriage, but here he was voluntarily on one knee, asking her to marry him.            

“So, Y/f/n y/m/n Forman, will you marry me?”            

Y/n nodded while tears started to run down her face. “Yes,” she whispered.            

Hyde smiled brightly at her as she stood up and swiftly brought her face to his. He held onto her tight as he kissed her hard. They relished the feeling of each other’s lips and the emotion they both felt. Hyde found himself surprised that he wasn’t freaking out and Y/n found herself excited.             

Their kiss was broken short though as the group came crashing down the stairs.           

 “ENGAGED?!” They all shouted.             

“Were you guys listening this whole time?!” Hyde asked them.            

“Duh,” Jackie responded which earned her an elbow to the ribs from Donna. “Ow, Donna! What the hell was that for?”            

“Are you guys serious?” Eric asked, ignoring the girls and walked down towards the couple. “Are you really engaged?”            

“Are you mad?” Y/n asked.             

Eric shook his head. “No, I’m done being mad. I’ve been doing that a lot lately,” he said and chuckled. “If anything I’m just…shocked. Especially with how fast all this has been moving. I never thought in a million years this would happen.” He rubbed his lips with his fingertips, as if lost in thought and sighed. “But, uh, congratulations, guys.”            

He brought Hyde in for a hug, patting his back and then brought Y/n in for a tight hug. If anything he was feeling conflicted. Was he mad at them? No, not at all. Was he happy? Yes, of course. But, what he was feeling most of all was…sadness?            

Maybe because the group was changing drastically now. Kelso was becoming a police officer and just became a father himself, Donna was working at the radio station and setting goals for herself with feminism, Fez had a steady job working at the DMV, Jackie was…well, he didn’t know what the hell Jackie was doing, and now Hyde and Y/n were not only having a baby, but they were now getting married and he was now going to be working with W.B at an awesome record company. And what was Eric doing? Besides lazing around the house doing absolutely nothing while watching his friends and sister were working to do something amazing with their lives. His year of not doing anything was almost up and while he enjoyed sleeping in and doing nothing all day long, he was starting to see the down side of it all. And it was hitting him hard.             

“Are you okay?” Y/n asked him, seeing his face change.            

“Yeah,” he lied and plastered on a fake smile. “I’m just thinking of what you’re going to say to Mom and Dad.”             

“Yeah, don’t remind me.”            

“Oh, Y/n this is so exciting!” Jackie squealed coming down the stairs and interrupting their conversation. Everyone in the group trailed behind her. “I can’t wait to start wedding planning! But first, we need to get you a ring!” She gasped dramatically. “Oh my God, who’s going to be your maid of honor? If it’s not me I’m going to scream.”            

Y/n laughed and placed her hands on Jackie’s arms. “Hey, calm down, Jack. It’s not happening yet. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”            

“Well, you better tell them soon because it’s going to get harder to hide a baby bump,” Eric said.            

“I know. I was actually thinking of telling them tonight,” she said which caused the group to go silent. “What?”            

“Should we start planning your funeral now or?” Donna joked.             

“Funny,” she deadpanned. “No, I think it will be fine now that Steven and I have a plan.”            

Eric nodded and pressed his lips into a thin line. “It was nice knowing you. Both of you.” He gave her a hug which Y/n shrugged off.             

“Alright that’s enough,” she said and stepped back. “They can’t be too mad…can they?”            

Again, the group went silent, looking at each other; Trying to decide who is the better liar. But no lie could be good enough to determine what was about to happen with Red and Kitty.            

Fez stepped forward wearing the most serious expression Y/n has ever seen. “Before you do, I just wanted to say how much I love you guys and how much I’m going to miss you.” He dramatically wrapped his arms around Hyde and start faux sobbing. The group laughed at Fez as Hyde shoved him off.                                                           

                                                    --Time Skip—            

Y/n waited in the basement for another couple hours, working the nerve to go up there and tell her parents. The gang had decided to stay and come up with a plan, but nothing seemed good enough to prepare them for the upcoming explosion known as Red.             

“Okay, so here’s the plan,” Y/n said, exhausted. “I tell them, Steven you have the El Camino ready when things go south, Eric have the Vista Cruiser ready in case Dad tries to kill you, and everybody, whatever you do: act dumb. You didn’t know I was pregnant and just run like hell.”            

Everybody nodded in compliance as Y/n laid back against the couch. “I should probably go up there now,” she said, her stomach twisting into knots, her head swimming.            

“Do you need me to go with you?” Hyde offered.            

“No, no, you stay here. If I don’t make it back in,” she responded dramatically. “Please, move on without me. I love you.”            

Hyde grabbed her hand. “Hey, don’t talk like that. We will get out of this alive.”            

Y/n gave him a single nod. “Okay, here I go.”            

“Wait, Y/n,” Kelso said, abruptly stand up and gave her a hug. “Goodbye.”            

Y/n gave a theatrical sniff as if she was crying. “Goodbye, Kelso. I’ll miss you the most.”            

“Really?” he asked brightly and turned to Hyde as if to say I knew it.            

“No,” she deadpanned and pushed him away from her before walking up the stairs, hearing the chuckles fade away as she entered the kitchen.            

She saw Kitty sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over scribbling something on a piece of paper.            

“Hey mom,” Y/n’s voice wavered, her knees starting to wobble, but she played it off as if nothing was wrong. To hide her nervousness, she opened the fridge and grabbed a soda can. “What cha doin’?”            

“Oh, I’m just going over your medical bill,” Kitty replied and Y/n felt her heart drop to her feet. “I see that they ran some extra tests which explains why we have to pay a bit more. Plus, the ambulance ride didn’t help any.”            

“Oh, okay. I’ll help pay that back,” she replied and looked around. “So, uh, where’s Dad?”            

“Oh, he’s out getting dinner.”            

“Oh, okay,” she replied and opened her water, taking a hefty sip. Kitty looked up from the paper and noticed Y/n acting different. In fact, Y/n’s eyes were glossy and she looked like she was about to vomit again at any second.            

“ Y/n, honey? What’s wrong?” Kitty asked, concerned.             

Y/n’s chin wobbled as she gripped the can tighter. Do it. Do it now! She stared at her mother who had completely abandoned her task and now was staring at her daughter.             

Y/n couldn’t find the words. She stood there, like an idiot, or as her father would say, like a dopehead. Her eyes were wide and she could feel cold perspiration beginning to cover her palms.             

It’s now or never.            

“Mommy,” she said in a small voice. “I need to tell you something.”

Taglist: @jeeperky​ @05-feet-off-the-table-06​ @cooloclown​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @taysirene​

[an-absolute-travesty]

Secret Santa fic!

Heya @all-eternity it was me all along! I hope you enjoy this :) very much looking foward to actually being able to follow you after this without looking sketchy lmao

Also shoutout to my lovely beta reader @keepersandqueens as if I don’t talk about Salas enough here lol

Warnings: underage drinking, drinking in general, hangover, drugs/medication mention (not abused, basic over the counter stuff dw), mentions of vomit (not described)

Pairings: Kam, background marelinh, ex titz

About: Kam coffee shop college au 

Word count: 5,205

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @cadence-talle @ruewen-and-rising @lemontarto @a-lonely-tatertot @clearlyvacksen @percabetn @sewersewersewercouch @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @enbies-and-felonies @blxckh0les42​ @rainbowtay-11 @callas-starkflower-stew @impostertamsong @appalyneinstitute1 @stars-and-splendor @anna-without-an-e @mistythegenderqueermess @we-have-no-bananas-today @we-wont-dissapear @jadenightthewriter

Tam stumbled into his first 8 am class, anxiety making his heart feel like it was pounding out of his chest and stomach doing backflips.

If he could survive bouncing between foster homes, a short stint at juvie, and worst of all high school, he could survive college.

Well he thought he could until he saw a familiar person right next to the only available chair in the room.

God fucking damn it.

"Hey Bangs Boy!" Keefe waved him down, causing a scene. Tam had no option but to sit beside him, both because of the lack of chairs and the fact that everyone was now staring at him.

Not a great start.

"What a coincidence! I notice you still haven't taken my suggestions on your hair, I'm telling ya' you'd get all the girls and or guys and nonbinary pals with a man bun." Keefe looked smug at the fact he'd be able to taunt Tam for another semester, minimum. Tam was already making a mental note to check when he could swap out of classes.

"Keefe, if I knew you were going here I would've just gotten myself back in jail, oh wait, you were the one who got me in there in the first place." Tam shot him a look, praying that he'd suddenly develop superpowers and shoot lasers from his eyes.

"Hey, just because I came up with the idea...and helped with some of the execution, doesn't mean I'm responsible for you trashing your parents house. Besides, you were only in there for like 3 days max before you got out," Keefe said, shrugging as if 3 days in jail was no biggie.

"Most peaceful 3 days of my life," Tam sneered, turning back to the front of the room as the professor walked in.

"Good morning class!" the prof turned to the white board, writing his name. "I am Dr. Harding," he tapped it for emphasis.

The class was silent.

"And you say good mor..."

"Good morning Dr. Harding," The class said in unison, they all sounded tired and bored.

This wasn't going to be fun.

~*~

"Grande ice vanilla latte for...Hen-are-y?"

The man shot Keefe a look as he grabbed his coffee.

"Henry." He dropped a tip in the jar, fifty cents. How generous.

He had come in before, and never left good tips. Keefe made it a game to pronounce the names of anyone who wasn't a college student and left bad tips wrong, no matter how much they came in. It was a wonder he hadn't been fired yet.

As he turned preparing another drink, the bell at the top of the door rang. He ignored it at first until he heard a quiet, "Fuck," come from behind.

"Bangs boy!"

"Why are you here?"

"I work here obviously," Keefe walked up to the counter. "Now, what'll it be?"

Tam sighed. "Iced caramel macchiato with two extra shots of espresso."

"Size?"

"Venti."

Keefe whistled thinking about how much caffeine that was as he wrote down "Bangs Boy" on the cup.

"Alright, that'll be 5.75, may I ask why the insane amount of coffee? I believe I remember you saying caffeine makes you anxious in high school."

"Yes, but it also helps me focus, and I have a quiz tomorrow I haven't studied for."

"Fair enough," Keefe said, going to prepare the drink. "It'll be ready in five."

Tam nodded, walking off to the side and scrolling on his phone. Keefe made the drink, occasionally sneaking looks over at Tam. He didn't seem to notice, thank God.

Soon after, they finished the transaction.

"See you at class," Keefe said, he was trying to be genuine, but it came across more taunting.

Tam grimaced, muttered "Thanks for the coffee," and walked out the door.

~*~

The class fell silent as a disheveled Dr. Harding walked in, a pack of gatorade in one hand and bottle of tylenol in the other. He popped one as he sat down.

"Hello class it seems today I have the worst headache imaginable, just give me about 5 minutes of silence and we will go over your assignments."

Keefe leaned over to Tam's desk.

"Well, we know what he got into last night," he whispered. "Heard the bar on the corner of 5th was giving out two for ones for professors."

"Isn't that place run by the alumni?"

"Exactly. Gotta thank Alvar tomorrow, Fitz said it was his idea."

"Wait Fitz goes here too? Why did I not-"

"Boys!" Dr. Harding practically yelled. "I am tired of the racket." He put his face in his hands where his elbows rested on the desk, bald spot showing to the world.

"We were whispering!" Keefe made a 'what the hell' sort of gesture. Tam glared at him, hoping he could communicate 'I will kill you myself if you say another word' with just his eyes.

"Sencen, do I look like I care?"

Keefe winced a bit at the use of his last name. That was something Tam could understand.

"Look, boys," Dr. Harding stood up and turned to the chalkboard, writing something down. "If you all like talking so much, you'll love this next project."

He walked to the side, revealing the board, that read '10 page essay, due the 25th'

"With the person next to you, you'll be writing a 10 page essay on um...the importance of keeping your oil changed in your car. You'll then present it to the class. It's worth 25 points."

A student raised their hand.

"Luka?"

"Sir, I thought this was a psychology course?"

"It is. You are all excused."

With that, he left the room with his tylenol and gatorade in his arms. The students glared at Keefe and Tam as they all got up, muttering amongst themselves about the pure bullshittery of it all.

"So..." Keefe said, slowly standing. "Does the library tomorrow at 3 work? I have work until then, so it can't be any earlier."

"Yeah, sure." Tam promptly walked out of the classroom as fast as possible, he didn't know why but his anxiety was spiking. He tried to tell himself it was just because he was a useless gay that didn't know jackshit about cars, yeah, surely that was it.

Just a useless gay.

~*~

Tam waited at a table in the library, it was 3:05, Keefe was late.

He didn't know what else he expected from him, he always seemed to do stuff like this. At the same time, Tam didn't have the energy to be particularly mad at him. This was going to be the stupidest essay ever written in the history of man, might as well put it off.

The library door slammed open, and in came Keefe. He balanced a large stack of papers and books along with four drinks. He stumbled over to Tam and practically threw them down on the table.

"Sorry I'm late, I thought it would be nice to, like, get you a coffee, but I didn't know how much caffeine you wanted, so I got one decaf caramel macchiato, one normal, and one with an extra shot, and also hot chocolate for me."

He sat down in the chair by Tam, as if getting three different coffees for someone you were forced to do a project with was totally normal.

"Um...thanks, I-I can pay you back-"

"Don't worry about it." Keefe turned to him and smiled, bright and friendly. Tam was frozen. "Okay, now it's car time." Keefe turned back to the desk.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a while as they researched, Keefe going through his piles of papers and books and Tam on his laptop like any sane person would.

Tam finally worked up the nerve to talk.

"So um...this is out of nowhere, but I think you mentioned Fitz went here?"

"Oh, yeah." Keefe put down the absurdly large textbook that was set up in front of him. "He's my roommate, he uh thought it would be best not to tell you after everything, I guess."

"That's fine," Tam shrugged like he didn't care. "I'm over it."

He was, really. They only dated like 2 weeks, sure it ended with a...pretty big fight after Fitz claimed he wouldn't be able to date someone who had gone to jail and Tam reminded him it was his best friend that got him in there in the first place, but he was still over it. There was still something bothering him, nothing to do with Fitz himself but...something. He just couldn't put his finger on what.

"Alright, I'll take your word." Keefe shrugged, setting his giant book back up in front of him.

Tam felt the need to start talking again, but didn't. They were mostly silent for the next 40 minutes or so, just researching and the occasional word exchanged between them.

Keefe checked his phone.

"Shit," He got up. "Work emergency, I gotta go. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yeah that works."

"Chill, see ya' later."

"Bye."

Keefe waved (with a wide grin Tam would've called idiotic in high school) as he went out the door.

Tam found himself with a smile on his own face, he quickly stopped, hoping no one saw.

~*~

Keefe hurried into work, pulling his apron on as he saw the absurdly long line and a panicked Marella frantically making coffees behind the counter. She sighed with relief when she saw him.

"Thank God," She said as he stepped behind the counter with her. "There was a scheduling error, Forkle's useless at that stuff."

Mr. Forkle, their well-meaning but often mistaken manager, was out of town at the moment. The fate of the Starbucks rested on two college kids, what could go wrong.

And so they went, Keefe taking orders and Marella fulfilling them until there were no more to serve.

Marella, quite literally, threw in a towel she had wiped her face with. Promptly going to the back, presumably for her break. Keefe followed her.

"Alright, I think you can probably go back to whatever you were doing before this now if you'd like," said Marella, inspecting the small braids in her hair in the nearest shiny surface.

"Nah I was just doing a project with Tam for Harding's stupid class, he's probably left by now, I might as well rack up some overtime."

Marella turned back at him, clearly caught off guard at the name.

"Tam? As in my-girlfriend's-brother Tam? As in you-had-a-massive-crush-on-in-highschool Tam? As in dated-Fitz Tam? As in you-got-him-in-jail-"

"Yes! Yes! Why does everyone remind me of that, it was one time."

"When you get someone in jail, people tend to remember," Marella went silent for a second, thinking, before looking Keefe in the eye. "Wow, that must be awkward as hell, I mean seriously, if I were you I'd straight up file a restraining order just to avoid him. Maybe move to another country. I hear Estonia is lovely this time of year."

"Eh, it's not as bad as it seems. I mean it was awful at first, mostly because I tried to resume right where we left it on the taunting front, but I think it's ok now."

"Hm. Well good luck with that," Marella turned back to go to the front, but Keefe grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Uh, actually I need your advice on something. It has to do with Tam."

"Shoot."

"Well I was thinking of maybe, I don't know, asking him out or something? Look, yeah, it's an awful idea but is it 'he never wants to talk to me again' awful or 'he attempts to strangle me' awful?"

Marella looked him up and down, eyes uncomfortably cold, as usual.

"I mean, no hetero, but despite your annoying qualities you're a decent looking guy. Plus Tam's, like, super anxious according to Linh, so maybe he'll be too awkward to say no. You can probably squeeze at least one date in there."

"Wow, thanks Mare," Keefe mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I try. Also don't call me Mare."

"Alright Ella!" Keefe called as the front door's bell rang, signalling a new customer. Marella went off to take care of it, unable to respond she growled back at him.

~*~

Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tam glared from across the table.

Tap tap tap tap tap tap.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Keefe looked up, muttered a simple "Fidgety" and went right back to it, tapping his pen against the table. Tam said nothing more.

Keefe had been quiet for this entire meeting, something highly unusual for him.

"Ok, seriously dude, what's up? I haven't seen you this quiet literally ever."

He only seemed to get more fidgety at this question, his bouncing leg shaking the library table.

"I...um..." he looked down, running a hand through his hair "I have a test I need to cram for and no one to study with and keep me accountable. Y'know, ADHD issues."

Tam didn't overthink for once in his life but the moment the sentence was out of his mouth he regretted it.

"I have a test too, maybe we could study together?"

Keefe smiled his annoyingly charming smile.

"Sounds good."

"Good."

Tam quickly looked back down at his computer, trying to look like he was still doing car research when in actuality he was processing he just actively offered to spend more time with Keefe Sencen.

If Linh found out about this he'd never live it down.

He didn't think he cared.

~*~

Dr. Harding walked through the classroom door, clearly much less hungover than his last appearance.

The students waited, would they get an apology? Any sort of remorse?

"Alright, who wants to read first?"

Apparently not.

Keefe raised his hand with too much confidence for what their essay looked like. Tam gave him a confused look. He had his scheming face on, never good.

"Mr. Sencen!" Keefe winced at the use of his last name by the doctor. "What an amazing start, it's only appropriate. One of you boys come up and present."

Tam gave Keefe a look of 'do you want me to do it?' Keefe just smiled and got up from his chair. This would either be really good or really, really bad. Tam was all too familiar with the scheme face.

"Doc, I did depart from the source material a bit here, hope you don't mind. And I use 'I' because Tam had no involvement in this, he deserves full points for his essay."

Keefe cleared his throat, the room was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

"Doctor Harding deserves to get fired: an essay. (And it's only been a week!) Paragraph one, his drinking problem-"

"Sencen! Back to your seat now. I will see you after class, or I will not see you in my next class, understand?"

Keefe gave a thumbs up as he sat back on his chair with a thud.

A few minutes later, in the middle of another student's essay, he passed Tam a note with his loopy handwriting.

"The amount of comebacks I had for 'see me after class' is absurd but if I get kicked out there's no way Elwin is helping me pay tuition a second time."

Tam tried not to smile, certainly failing, as he wrote his response.

"Yeah I think the time you talked back to Miss Cadence she wanted to expel you. Lucky Principal Alina had a thing for pseudo-dad Alden."

"Oh God I haven't talked to him in a whiiiiiile."

"?"

"You haven't heard? Yeah, he sorta found out like ALL his kids were ell gee bee tees and freaked out. Della found herself a new gf though!"

"Sounds like a lovely extra punch in the gut for a queerphobe."

"Yep. Honestly I recommend looking through his Facebook sometime. Just a million rants about how the gays destroy everything, great entertainment."

"Duly noted."

At that point it seemed like the doctor started to take notice of their note passing, and they stopped quickly. Tam wouldn't be surprised if he did the whole high school read in front of the class thing with the way he had been acting so far.

Tam was 100% sure tenure was the only thing keeping this guy's job intact. Apparently being a drunk asshole wasn't near enough to get a person out of their position. He tried to ignore the professor's annoyingly smug face for the rest of the class.

~*~

Keefe sat in his usual spot at the library, Tam sitting across from him, his brown eyes dancing across the textbook page and lips mumbling along the words. He didn't have much to do, often finding himself just staring at Tam, quickly looking away if he seemed to notice.

Eventually he sighed, sitting back.

"Ugh, this test is in a week and I have so much other crap to do, I'll never get this all memorized by Friday."

Keefe silently thanked his brain for managing to get around the having to study thing. Yay, photographic memory!

"Oh, uh, well I'm free to study more tomorrow if that would help? We could do, like, flashcards or something."

Tam seemed to repress a smile. He did that a lot. Keefe always noticed.

"That's okay, I'm sure you have better things to do. The Starbucks is always pretty packed."

"Eh, sometimes you have to get away from Marella. She's mean to me."

"Not just you, once she told me if I ever made fun of Linh's cat's name again she'd make me cut off my own bangs."

Keefe nodded sagely. "The shorter you are the closer to hell. That's why you're worse than her."

"Hey!"

Tam flicked a stray rubber band at Keefe.

"I'm at least 2 inches taller than Marella...we measured."

Keefe thought up about 12 inappropriate jokes he couldn't make before flicking the rubber band back.

"Two inches only counts in roller coasters, none of which you can ride."

Tam stuck his tongue out before returning to his studies. Unlike Tam, Keefe didn't hide his smile.

~*~

Tam strolled into the Starbucks that Friday morning, no longer surprised to see Keefe working the counter. He could barely hold still in line as he thought about the amount of cramming he'd have to do in the next few hours.

When he reached the counter, Keefe said nothing, just busily worked making a drink.

He stuck it right out at Tam.

"One venti iced caramel macchiato with 2 extra shots of espresso because you have a test today in political science and still haven't studied everything and also a muffin because you probably haven't eaten today. On the house. Good luck with the studying."

Tam froze.

"I- um- th-thaks. Y-you too...sport."

Oh, you fucking idiot.

He quickly scurried out of the Starbucks with drink and muffin in hand. Wow, he had screwed that up.

But...

Keefe...

He...

He remembered his order and that he had a test and that he forgot to eat when he was stressed holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

Okay, deep breaths Tam, you got this. You can totally handle a frustratingly cute guy showing care for you this is fine...

Not fine, not fine, gotta tell Linh.

He called Linh with no forewarning. Despite the fact that she was currently across the country at a different university, and it was about 3 am for her, she picked up. He barely let her get out a groggy "Hello?" before explaining everything. She only seemed to think a moment before responding.

"Hm. Well it's good to know that college is going good for you. Do you need advice or comfort?"

"Yes."

"Well, first of all, everything's gonna be okay. And I know that doesn't help much but just try to remember we're eighteen, and it's not the end of the world. Second of all, try to ask him out or something. It doesn't have to be framed as a date, like Marella and I got together on a walk in the park, seriously it can be anything."

"Thanks Linh."

"No problem, also can you hug Marella for me?"

"If she doesn't try to kill me first, yes."

"Nice. Okay go do what you gotta do, also don't wake me up at 3 am again or else I'll sic Purryfins on you, I had just gone to bed."

With that she hung up and Tam continued on his way, still trying to not completely freak out.

~*~

Keefe stared blankly as Tam walked right out of the door. Marella appeared by his arm.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Well, he called me 'sport'."

Marella inhaled through her teeth.

"Yikes. Comfort, advice, or distraction?"

"Distraction, please." Keefe replied, absent-mindedly preparing a cup for the next customer.

"Uh, well I meant to ask you what ended up happening with that ass of a teacher, but I got a bit distracted at your attempt to woo Tam-"

"Hey I said distraction not reminder. But basically I just got a slap on the wrist because, and I quote, 'Your father is Cassius Sencen! He wrote half the books we use in this class, I'm sure he can straighten you out!'"

"There's absolutely nothing papa Sencen could do to make you straight, I'm pretty sure he tried that, and it obviously didn't work."

"He actually tried a few times and it most definitely did not. Lucky he doesn't have my number anymore or else I assure you he'd keep trying."

Marella laughed.

"Well, moving on from grade A assholes, I'm supposed to tell you there's a party tonight. I'll have to send you the address later, I have it on my phone though, I am told there's gonna be booze, so I'm going."

"Eh, I'll probably go. Just to get my mind off everything."

"Thata boy." She lifted her phone. "And my shifts over in three, two, one, and I am out of here! See ya' tonight Hunkyhair."

"That's Lord Hunkyhair to you."

She just rolled her eyes and clocked out, leaving Keefe to deal with both the customers and his own thoughts.

~*~

Tam sat in his dorm room alone, constantly refreshing his grades for the possibility that his 70-year-old professor would post the test results at 1:30 am.

His roommate was gone for the weekend, actually he was gone most of the time. Tam didn't think they'd even had a full conversation before.

He jumped as his phone began to ring, a call from Keefe of all people. He hesitantly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Tam! Tam Tam Tam Tam Tam" Keefe's slurred speech was too loud for a phone call, Tam held his phone a bit away from his ear. "...fuck wait why did I call you..."

There was a long pause, neither said anything.

"Oh yeah! I needed to tell you something...but uh I uhm I forgot what it was."

"Keefe, where are you?"

"At a paaaaaarty, well, actually just outside a party because it was hot in there, but now it's cold out here so uh yeah."

Tam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, send me the address, I'm coming to pick you up. Wait right there and don't move."

"Okie dokie."

Tam heard a thud sort of sound and the rustling of grass from the other line before Keefe hung up and soon after got a message of his location.

After 20 minutes of walking in the cold, Tam came up to what seemed to be a frat house with Keefe sitting on the lawn in criss-cross, patiently waiting in short sleeves and basketball shorts, way too little clothing for the weather. His ruddy face smiled as he saw Tam approach.

"Tam! I remembered what I was going to tell you." He stood up, face falling right after. "Oh no wait I forgot again. Ooh! You need a drink."

Keefe grabbed Tam's hand, pulling him towards the house. Tam stayed in place.

"Hey, let's get you home dude."

Keefe pouted.

"I don't wannaaaa."

He slouched down, pulling on Tam's arm like a child having a tantrum.

Tam pulled him back up to his feet.

"C'mon, if you go to your dorm without fuss I'll buy you ice cream tomorrow."

Keefe seemed much more ok with going along with Tam with the ice cream deal. He pulled off his own coat and placed it around the very drunk boy, he didn't complain.

Keefe began humming some annoying song from the early 2000s that was playing from the house earlier as they walked back in the direction of the dorms.

Suddenly, Tam remembered something.

Fitz was Keefe's roommate.

Shit.

"Hey uh do you think Fitz is at your dorm?"

Keefe nodded confidently.

"Yep! Said he was gon' study. Wouldn't come to the party because of his 'reputation' or whatever."

Around reputation he did exaggerated finger quotes, nearly knocking Tam's jacket off his shoulders.

"Hm...in that case let's go to my dorm, ok?"

Keefe shrugged, apparently willing to go along with most things in his current state. Thank goodness Linh had made Tam bring extra pillows and blankets to college, he could sleep on the floor and just hope Keefe didn't get sick on him in the night.

It was ridiculously hard to lead Keefe back to his dorm. He tried to pull down his pants halfway there and Tam almost had to carry him up the stairs but soon enough they got there. He sighed with relief as he led his inebriated friend into the room.

"Okay, you can stay here for the night. I'll sleep on the floor."

Keefe plopped himself down on Tam's bed laying flat for only a moment before sitting up with a snap and a look of realization in his eyes.

"OOH! I remember what I was gonna tell you again!"

"Oh?" Tam said playing along, expecting him to forget again.

He patted the spot next to him on the bed, Tam continued to play along, sitting next to him.

"So Marella said that I should just tell you this, and it worked for her, so I'm gonna. And uh and you have to promise to listen 'cause I'm not sayin' it again."

At this point Keefe grabbed his face with both hands, staring right in Tam's eyes and squishing his cheeks.

"You're listening right?"

Tam nodded, mostly to shake Keefe's hands off his face.

"Okay."

Keefe took in an over dramatic breath as if he was preparing to preform in the Olympics before getting another grin on his face.

"I really like you."

"You really like me?"

He nodded mumbling "mhm".

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I like you. Like, like like you."

"Like...as a friend?"

"I said I wasn't gonna repeat myself. As a booooyfriend." At this point Keefe fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Tam's cheeks were burning.

"How long have you liked me like that?"

"Mmmm..." Keefe seemed to ponder for a moment, "Prolly high school."

"Oh um...good to know. You should get some rest. I'll be down here if you need me."

"Alrighty."

Tam shut off the lights and Keefe started snoring quick. Tam could only stare up in the darkness, unable to sleep.

~*~

Keefe woke up that morning in a room he didn't recognize to a killer headache and dead phone.

He turned to the side, seeing a pile of blankets and pillows with a large gatorade, bottle of tylenol, and a note next to it. Suddenly last nights memories came flooding back.

Oh, shit.

He scrambled out of bed, headache and nausea hitting him harder as he stood up.

Despite the fact his head was spinning, he picked up the note from the ground and read it.

Hey, meet me at the reservoir around 6, we need to talk -Tam

F. U. C. K.

Had he really said all that stuff last night? Surely it was a dream, right?

Oh God.

He gathered his few belongings, plus the things to help the hangover, and left the dorms as fast as possible. Only having to stop once along the way to throw up in one of the campus trash cans, hopefully no one would notice.

Keefe didn't have anything to do and he really didn't want to face Fitz so he went about his day in last nights clothing. Then again, it was a college campus. Someone walking around with rumpled clothes carrying a gatorade probably wasn't that big of a deal for most people. By 5:30 he sat impatiently in the empty park where the reservoir was located, it was colder closer to the water.

Just as promised, at 6 o'clock he saw Tam approaching on the horizon.

~*~

Tam was damn near a panic attack as he walked around the park attempting to find Keefe. Eventually he found him, sitting on a bench still in his clothes from last night, face once again ruddy from the cold. He sat next to him wordlessly.

"So," Keefe started.

"So," Tam replied, looking down at his lap.

"Tam I-" Keefe turned to face him. "I'm sorry about everything last night, I probably just made everything super awkward. Not to mention it's a giant violation of the friend code to even have a crush on your best friend's ex-"

"Yeah, about that."

"What?"

"You're gonna maybe kill me for this but uh," Tam pulled on his bangs. "I sorta talked to Fitz about it, I figured you wouldn't and apparently I was right. He said he was okay with it as long as we were ok with it."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Tam sighed, "Perhaps."

Keefe once again wore that shit-eating grin of his.

"Can I hear you say it?"

"Why don't you have to say it?"

"Already said it last night! Your turn now. Why did you take care of me while I was drunk?"

Keefe stared at Tam excitedly waiting for the answer. Tam sighed.

"Because I love you, little shit."

"Ooh you said it-"

Tam smashed his lips against Keefe's, both quickly melting into it. After only a moment they pulled away.

"Agh, you taste like gatorade and vomit."

"Well you taste like salt so really what's worse."

"Definitely the vomit."

Despite this, Tam leaned back in. This kiss was a moment longer than the last, and when Tam pulled away Keefe chased it.

"Ok, look I'm sorry but you look like shit Keefe you have to go change." Tam removed his jacket, throwing it around Keefe once again and helping him up from the bench. Keefe laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. Ooh now that we're a thing you need a new nickname!"

"I do?"

"You do, how about 'Bangs Boyf' ooh or maybe you can be my 'provoked partner' or my 'snappy spouse' my 'agitated accomplice' perhaps."

"Do you just have these ready and prepared for any situation?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

"You aren't Houdini, you're an 18-year-old boy that currently reeks of frat party."

"Eh that's basically the same thing. I've seen some 18-year-olds at frat parties preform tricks Houdini could never dream of."

Tam sighed dramatically. "It's a good thing you're pretty, you know."

"Hey!" Keefe jokingly shoved him.

For the first time Tam's smile wasn't repressed.

[thatoneitaliangirl]

Obey Me! Soulmate AU Lucifer 2

Sorry, I kind of dropped off the face of the earth for a hot minute there. I’m just going through some stuff, don’t mind me!~ I really hope you like this. I was planning on making it longer, but I felt like I left it off at a good place. I think I may finish off each story one by one, since I’m on a roll with Lucifer’s story, but it depends on my mood. I may start on Mammon’s part 2 soon, so you never know! Next part is either Lucifer part 3 or Mammon part 2 lol. I really hope you like it!!! 

________________________________________

When I was a little girl, scary movies always excited me. I would get on my hands and knees to beg my mother to let me watch them, even if I knew I'd have nightmares. There was just something about being scared but not being in danger that really made me happy. As I got older, it became an obsession. Horror movie posters littered my walls, and all other kinds of merchandise, some even rare items, surrounded me in my day to day life. But what always made my day was ghost stories. Some classic bumps in the night, others intense cases of demonic possession. Eventually, movies weren't enough of a thrill. I needed the real thing.

 _______________________________________________________

 "Are you sure about this, _____? I mean, I know you're into that freaky shit, but this is getting a little too real for me." _____'s best friend Monica says, holding herself in her arms.

"Oh please, Monny! It's just a little ghost hunt. Nothing to be worried about!" Her golden eyes widen as she gawks at her friend.

"Nothing to worry about? Girly, you know damn well I don't do ghost shit. That's all you, my friend, and honestly, I don't feel like dying before graduating high school!" _____ rolls her eyes, but this doesn't stop her friend's ramblings.

"You're following the information given to you by some rando on the internet you only met last week- he's probably leading you into a trap! This is one of those cases you see on HLN where the young, unexpecting girls get taken to be sex trafficked."

"We're not gonna die. And it's not even confirmed that there are ghosts here," _____ lifts up the broken chain-link fence and motions for her friend to enter.

"Wait, we're going through all this trouble and you’re not even sure if it's actually haunted?! Are you kidding me?"

"Look, if you're that much of a scaredy-cat, you can wait outside. I just want to snap a few pictures to post on my blog." Biting her lip and shifting from side to side, Monica weighs her options.

"Okay, fine. Just don't take forever. My mom wants us back before dark," Monica says, pouting.

"And don't call me a scaredy-cat!"  _____ smirks.

"Okay, okay . . . Scaredy-cat!" She laughs, lightly jogging away from her friend and towards the abandoned building. With her flashlight in hand, _____ sneaks around the back under some fallen tree-limbs and clicks her tongue.

"If I remember right, the guy said it would be about . . . Here!" Finding the boarded window she was looking for, _____ slides the board up and enters the hole. She drops down into a dark room, the only light seeping in through the cracks in the worn wood covering the window. Quickly turning on her flashlight, the young girl takes a look around what appears to be the basement of the run-down house.

"He seemed to have left out the fact that my little 'tour' would start in the basement, but I can work with this." _____ takes a deep breath and scans the area. Besides some creepy old toys, nothing really interests her here.

So, she finds the door leading upstairs and slowly makes her way up the creaking wood. The leaky pipes and several rainstorms since the abandonment of the house have not been kind to the drywall and wood structuring. Reaching the top, _____ shines her flashlight around, taking in the once white walls of the family room, now covered in mold.

"A little Damp-rid would do this house some wonders, I'm sure." Her camera flashes as she takes her first shot, making sure to get in the ripped couch and fallen portraits. Had vandals and old age not did their thing, this house would have been in perfect condition.

"The people living here just up and abandoned it with no warning. Seems . . . Suss if you ask me.” She scrunches her face and shrugs.

"Alright, let's do some exploring." Shaking off her shakes of anticipation, _____ ascends the stairs leading to the second floor with caution. Despite her lack of fear for the paranormal, she still fears falling through the dampened wood flooring and having to explain to her mother why she's in the hospital getting tested for tetanus. A sudden sound above her makes her stop for a moment, halting the loud creaking of the stairs.

"What the Hell . . . ?" What sounds like a light tapping across the floor above slowly moves forward toward the stairs and ending at the door at the end of the hall. She shines her flashlight there, but it begins to flicker and dim.

"Shit! I just changed these batteries!" She bats it with her palm, but it does nothing as it fades away. The hinges of the door screech as it slowly begins to open, so slow that it's barely visible. What little light is streaming through the cracks of the boarded windows seems to almost be absorbed by the darkness inside the bedroom. _____ gets closer to the door, feeling an immense pull to open it and go inside. Her goal of capturing pictures long gone from her mind as she reaches out and touches the handle.

"_____! Are you done yet?!" Her friend yelling to her from outside startles her and she removes her hand. She releases a breath she didn't know she was holding and tilts her head to yell back.

"Uh, Yeah, almost! Be right out!" Her feet tap against the wood flooring as she descends the stairs, but pauses and takes a look back at the door all the way at the end of the hall.

"It'll only take a second . . . " She says to herself, never removing her eyes from the darkness within.

"Come on, _____! We're losing daylight!" Biting her lip, she lifts her camera and snaps a few photos before running back to the basement and out of the small window. Just as her friend said, the sun is almost below the horizon.

"Oh shit."

"Oh, shit is right! Let's get out of here!"

 ________________________________________________________

 Growing up the way I did, I never really thought too much about what that day meant. Though every once in a while, I find myself thinking about that house. Monica and I left that town not long after we graduated, but the longing I have to go back has nothing to do with homesickness.

"Hey, look! I never thought I'd be seeing these pictures again!" Monica laughs, holding up the small box filled with photos from _____'s old camera.

"Is that prom?" She asks, making her way over to Monica with curiosity.

"I think so," She holds up more photos of the two girls in dresses holding hands with a boy and another girl.

"It has to be. Look, there's Jonah!" _____ rolls her eyes and groans.

"God, I hoped I would never have to see his face again. Burn the pictures!"

"No!" Monica holds the photos to her chest protectively.

"Just because you hated your date, doesn't mean I hated mine!" _____ laughs.

"True. Okay, you can keep 'em! I have all these on a hard drive somewhere, so I'll have plenty of memories!" The smile on Monica's face slowly begins to fall at _____'s words.

"Do you really have to go? I know I've said this like a thousand times, but how do you know you can trust this man?" It's understandable that Monica is concerned. I mean, most people would be if their best friend meets a guy and less than a month later moves out with them.

"I'll be fine. I promise. And I'll write all the time!" Monica groans.

"Exactly, you'll write! I mean, where even is this place that you're going, huh? No cell service, no internet? It's like this guy is taking you completely off the grid, and that's what worries me. He's not forcing you to do this, is he? Cause if he is-!" _____ grabs Monica's shoulders and looks her in the eye.

"Nobody's forcing me to do anything! I love him . . . Perhaps it's a little fast for most people, but I know for a fact that we're meant to be together. Please, trust me on this." The brunette's shoulders sink as if finally accepting _____'s answer.

"Fine. But just know that I don't like him!" A smile makes its way onto _____'s face and pulls her hands back.

"I guess if you don't like him then you won't want to be here tomorrow." Her head snaps up making her brown curls bounce around her head.

"Why?" The ghost hunter smirks and checks her nails.

"Well, my boyfriend and a few of his brothers are coming over to take most of the boxes. I wouldn't want you to be upset, so it's probably best if you stay away."

"Are you kidding me?! Of course, I'm gonna be there! I'm gonna give this bastard a piece of my mind! First, he takes my best friend away, and then he thinks he can just walk up in here and not even ask for your hand in dating from the one person that counts?! Oh, I'll show him! And his brothers too!" Fuming, Monica starts to pace, her arms flailing animatedly.

"Are you gonna give them all a stern talking to, mother dearest?" She stops in her rambling to glare at _____.

"Keep giving me backtalk, and I might just give you a stern talking to. With my fist!" _____ retaliates by throwing a couch pillow.

"Oh, it's on, girly!"

 ______________________________________________________

 "_____, are you awake?" The young woman shifts in her sleep, stretching before opening her eyes.

"I am now. When did you get here?" Lucifer smiles, moving some hair from _____'s face.

"Only a moment ago. I didn't mean to wake you, I had just thought you'd be up." _____ takes a look at the clock on her nightstand, her eyes widening.

"Holy shit! It's almost two?" The tender moment is lost as she jumps out of her bed and runs to her adjoined bathroom. A smirk makes its way onto the demon's face, watching her frantically trying to brush her teeth and hair at the same time.

"There's no need to rush, my love. Although the sight before me is breathtaking, I'll go keep my brothers' busy loading boxes into the portal. Wouldn't want them stumbling in here and seeing something only I should see." The cheeky bastard leaves the room, and _____ looks down at her bedtime apparel consisting of panties and a large shirt.

"Well, that's not embarrassing or anything."

She quickly finishes getting ready and heads down the stairs to an argument.

"It's your fault!" Levi yells, gesturing to a box at his feet.

"Me?! What did I do?!" Mammon yells back, defensive.

"You made me drop it with your stupidity! If you hadn't been acting like a big baby, we would have most of this done by now!" The box in question happens to be the small box filled with photographs.

"Hey guys, don't worry about it! It's just some pictures. I'll clean it up, no biggie!" The two demons blush and look away, a bit ashamed to be yelling in front of the girl.

"Sorry, _____. If Mammon actually did his job, we'd be out of here by now."

"I'm helping!" Levi rolls his eyes.

"If by helping you mean complaining, then yeah, you've been a big help!" Mammon crosses his arms and glares.

"Oh, like you're any better? Just two minutes ago you were complaining about how you're arms hurt! These boxes should weigh nothing to you!" As the fight continues, Lucifer comes up next to her and sighs. I'm sorry about my brothers, _____. Would you believe me if I told you they actually volunteered to help?" _____ laughs.

Over the course of knowing Lucifer, the young woman has grown close to his brother's as well, mainly the two standing in front of her. Mammon likes her ghost adventure stories, and Levi just likes the fact _____ is willing to listen to his rants. Even Satan has enjoyed a few human books recommended to him by the lovable ghost hunter, and they often discuss murder mysteries together over text. It's no surprise to Lucifer that his soulmate gets along so well with his brothers. He cares dearly for his younger siblings, and _____ provides the care his pride prevents him from showing.

"I believe it. But, you know, brothers will be brothers," She smiles up at him, unknowingly making his heartbeat just a bit faster. Her eyes widen a bit and a small gasp leaves her lips as she takes another look at the clock.

"I forgot to tell you, but Monica is-"

"Where is he?!" The front door slams open, halting the never-ending argument and making _____ pout.

"Monica, any damage left gets taken out of my deposit. Could you be a bit more careful?" The brunette crosses her arms and scans the room, reading all three men, and assessing the situation. Her eyes narrow at Levi, making him whimper slightly and shrink under her gaze. Next, Mammon, who just crosses his arms back and raises a brow under his sunglasses. Her eyes land on Lucifer and her glare turns to a scowl. Target acquired. She dramatically raises her hand and points at the demon.

"You." Confused, he points to himself.

"Me . . . ?"

"You're the one that's stealing my sister from me!" _____ sighs and puts her head in her hand.

"Here we go." Monica walks over, practically chest to chest with Lucifer, though there's a notable height difference. Lucifer coughs awkwardly, looking down at the female.

"Is there a problem?"

"I don't know, is there?" _____ sighs again.

"Monica-"

"Don't 'Monica' me! I don't care how big and muscular he appears to be, he better square up, cause he's not taking you without a fight, sis!"

"This is ridiculous, Monica. You can't fight him." Her glare deepens, never breaking eye contact with Lucifer.

"Watch me." She raises her fist.

"I don't think you want to do that," Lucifer speaks up, temporarily halting her actions.

"There's nothing you can say to me that'll- Put me down!" Lucifer picks up Monica by her shoulders and gently holds the kicking and screaming girl until she gives up trying to escape.

"Are you done?" Huffing and puffing, she nods and he places her back on her feet.

"You are a truly worthy opponent. I'll be more prepared next time. Until then, you have earned my blessing. For now!" _____ rolls her eyes, and Lucifer smiles at her.

"Thank you. I apologize for not meeting you sooner. My work prevents me from leaving, and what little free time I have I use to talk to _____. It was wrong of me to not speak with you before arranging this." Monica looks at Lucifer, still skeptical.

"Hm, wise words and a wise decision, trying to butter me up. But I won't give up that easily!"

"Is she always like this?" Mammon asks, leaning up against the wall.

"Always like what? Amazing, beautiful, cautious, careful, caring, concerned??"

"Woah, slow down 'C for Catastrophe', I think you just come off as a little strong sometimes, Monny. Maybe tone it down for the newcomers, alright?" Pouting, Monica agrees.

"Okay, maybe I can be a bit overbearing." _____ raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything.

"That's an understatement," Leviathan says under his breath earning a death glare from the brunette.

"I hate to cut this short, but we should really be going." _____'s head snaps up to look at Lucifer.

"What? Why? You just got here?" His face saddens as he looks down at her, holding her hand in his.

"I know, but I need to head back. Certain duties require my attention," He pulls _____ close in a hug and puts his lips to her ear.

"And Lord Diavolo was only able to keep the portal open for a certain amount of time." His warm breath on her neck sends a shiver down her spine and a blush to her cheeks. She hugs him closer and nods before letting go.

"Alright, I hope you guys have a safe journey back!" She waves to them, Lucifer giving her a quick peck on the cheek, not really one for PDA, and they head out of sight through the front door. Monica clears her throat and looks down at the ground.

"Sorry." Genuinely surprised, _____ turns to her friend.

"For what? You were just being a good friend!"

"Not that," She sighs, and wrings her hands together.

"I didn't know his time here was limited. I didn't mean to keep you from him." _____ smiles and pats her friend on the head, which earns her an annoyed scowl.

"It's okay, Monny, don't worry about it! How about we make some tea and chill for a bit? I still have some packing to do before next week." The shorter female smiles and nods.

"Definitely! I'll start the water!" She rushes off to the kitchen, leaving _____ in the living room. It's true that she's upset she didn't get to be with Lucifer for very long, but she doesn't blame her friend. Magic is something she still doesn't understand but knows there are certain limitations. 

Maybe if she had gotten up earlier, she could have talked with her soulmate a bit more, but she was just so tired. Her dreams kept her up tossing and turning most of the night, much to her displeasure. She doesn't remember exactly what they were about, but they weren't pleasant, and she's not sure if she actually wants to remember them. 

Monica working to heat up the water, _____ decides to clean up the scattered pictures from the fallen box. There's no particular order they should go in since they were pretty much haphazardly thrown in there to begin with, but she tries to start from the bottom, attempting to keep some sort of linear timeframe of when she put the pictures in there.

"Eventually I gotta go through these and get rid of the junk. I don't think I want Lucifer seeing me at fourteen with braces, pigtails, and eyeliner up to my temples." She gently shuffles through the pictures, tossing them in as she goes, until she reaches the last group. 

Undoubtedly the darkest of them, they immediately stand out from the family beach days and the cringe selfies. _____ picks them up, and examines them. The first few are of crumbling walls and boarded up windows, no doubt an abandoned house she's been to, but that's not what strikes her as odd. She never kept her hunting photos with her normal ones, especially back then. 

Her mother would have killed her if she found out, so she would always develop them and put them in a lockbox under her bed. The last few photos in the bunch show a dark hall, and it's as if all the heat rushes from her body. A cold chill replaces any warmth she may have had as she looks from one picture to the other, the hallway becoming darker and darker before it goes completely black, the door at the end the only thing visible. 

While she remembers taking the pictures, she doesn't remember ever actually developing them. It was her first abandoned house- thinking back it would have been weird for her not to take a look at them. But the more she tries to remember, the more she can't. It's as if she's blocked it out somehow.

"You okay, girly?" Monica places her hand on _____'s shoulder, breaking her from her thoughts.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Got a little distracted is all," She places the pictures at the top of the box, closes it, and puts it to the side.

"Now, how about tea?"

The two girls spend the rest of the night packing and chatting, almost making _____ forget about the pictures. Almost. It isn’t long after Monica leaves that _____ finds herself drawn to the small box, knowing that the pictures are just a few feet away. A ringing from her pocket startles her, and she pulls out her DDD. The caller ID says Lucifer, and she smiles knowing how late it is. This is most likely his first break since he got back.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her smile drops a bit at the urgency in his voice.

"Yes, why? Is everything alright?" He sighs on the other end of the phone sounding relieved.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I felt that you were in danger, and the pact was calling to me." Sure enough, the pact mark on her arm is glowing a beautiful blue, bright enough to shine through her shirt sleeve. She lightly rubs it, willing it to stop, and the glow slowly fades.

"Sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing it. It's just . . . " _____ bites her lip, looking over at the box.

"_____, what's wrong? Are you in danger?"

"No," Sighing, _____ turns away from the box and heads to her bedroom, attempting to put it out of her mind.

"I was just anxious . . . I miss you." He chuckles a little, making her heart race.

"I miss you too. I'm sorry I had to cut our afternoon short, but Lord Diavolo needed me. The higher demons are still . . . Skeptical about our father's decision. They've become nervous, and there have been talks of a coup."

"Oh, wow," She never really thought about it, but it makes sense why people would be skeptical especially demons. To them, it may seem like some plot to take over the Devildom.

"How's Lord Diavolo handling this news?" She's spoken to Lord Diavolo a few times, and he's always seemed like such a nice and positive guy that really cares about his kingdom and its citizens.

"He's upset, but not surprised. But he knows my brothers and I are on his side, so if a coup were to take place, they wouldn't get very far."

"I'm glad. How are you handling this? Want to talk about it?" She's concerned for him, despite knowing how powerful he is. His workload before was intense, but now she's sure it's even worse. He barely gets to sleep, and she can hear it sometimes when he's on the phone with her. He's even fallen asleep on the phone, much to her disappointment. She feels guilty every time that happens, because he's clearly tired but still staying up late to talk to her.

"I would love to, but unfortunately, there's not much I can say . . . "

"You never know who's listening, right?" He laughs.

"Yes, I'm sorry. But I can tell you that all of this will be sorted before next week. I'll make sure of it." The determination in his voice was enough to know he was telling the truth. Once Lucifer makes his mind up about something, it gets done.

"I believe you! But even so, I'm sure my presence might stir up the higher demons. Maybe it's best if I and the other girls stay here until the Devildom calms down." She's heard of his brother's soulmates before, though she's never actually talked to them. But it's not hard to assume that they are going through the same things she is, feeling the same things, and wondering how their lives are going to change.

"At the moment, any plans for you or the others to come here are still on track. But, I'm afraid you may have a point . . . "

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I know no matter what you decide, it'll be the right choice. I have the utmost confidence in you, hun." Lucifer clears his throat, flustered.

"I'm glad you do. Your safety is my top priority. One of them."

"I can only imagine the work you have right now. I'll let you go." _____ glances at the time. It's pretty late for her, and the time difference isn't too far off from her own.

"I'll call you tomorrow as soon as I can. Sleep well, my love." For him not to protest hanging up the phone, he must really be swamped with work.

"Sleep well." Laying down, _____ can feel her eyelids falling heavy and pulls the covers over her shoulders. Despite her pleasant thoughts of her love, her dreams are anything but.

To be continued ------

[idontmeantosoundrudebut]

This is Home (stupid Eretlout oneshot)

Oh hello it is currently 4 am and I've just finished this impulse one-shot about Modern Eretlout haha lol bruh! It's set in Britain by the way, because I'm British and I love my British culture lol! This hasn't been edited by the way so... yeah, it's really bad in my opinion but I need to post some writing because yeah! I'm actually currently working on a long Eretlout fic but I have no idea when/if it'll be finished so haha lol bruh awkward! Oh yeah, warning of abuse and past child abuse and only slightly steamy content, really its just making out and all that!!! haha lol bruh enjoy

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Blood fills his mouth. It drips from his chin, pours from his head, spills from his nostrils.

He opens his red-speckled fist and a tooth lies in the scarlet pool gathered in his palm, it almost looks like gold beneath the glow of the streetlamp that slants into his car. His upper jaw throbs from where he'd yanked out the already loose tooth and he can make out the rivulets of gum-flesh still clinging onto the roots. He stares at it with an unbothered and tired expression.

"Couldn't even punch my tooth outright," He mumbles to himself, opening the glove box and chucking the tooth inside, "Had to yank it out myself,"

It makes a high-pitched clanging sound as it bounces off a half-finished bottle of Captain Morgan and then, silently, it disappears behind the several cigarette cartons that lay piled unceremoniously within (Marlboro Reds, Marlboro Golds, Caramel Blues, Regal Kingsizes, even the odd Mayfair for when he gets desperately low). He reaches a hand inside and rummages through the collection, most of them are empty at this point, he needs to restock and clean out his car, it's been a solid few months since he did that. He shakes a Caramel carton, empty. Another Caramel? Empty. Marlboro Red? Empty. Regal? Ah, lucky day, only half-empty.

A great sigh forces its way through his clogged nostrils and, with the abruptness of a cut artery, blood spatters all over his shirt and along his forearms. His hand freezes mid-air, fingers tight around the bending carton as he blinks slowly, anger simmering beneath his skin because really? Really?! He looks down at his shirt, it was ruined anyway. He'll never get the red out that white, looks like someone's just slit his throat from all the blood that's been pouring down his neck. That table-corner got him good in the head and cut a deep gash just above his eyebrow, the entire right side of his face is crimson with blood and it shimmers in the flickering lamplight.

He bites into the end of the cigarette and lights it with a silver zippo, the flame casting writhing shadows across his blood-spattered hand. The first drag is the best, the first hit to the back of his throat, the first exhale of smoke. Each heartbeat hurts a little less with a little more smoke, a little more tar, a little more death in his lungs.

Snotlout starts the car and drives away. He watches his childhood home disappear around the corner and it feels like goodbye. He can't kind it in himself to be sad about it.

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He parks outside of Eret's house on the edge of the path, walking up to the red door with a tidy black seven nailed on it.

"Oh Snotlout, love, you alright?" Comes a familiar voice and he looks over to see Chantel from next door, wrapped in her dressing gown with a black bin bag clutched in her hands.

Eret's house is tucked in the centre of a row of brick houses, it's the kind of street where everyone knows everyone and everyone knows everything, whether you like it or not. In the last year, Snotlout has gotten to know a lot of people (and a lot of rumours) who live along this here street.

"I'm alright, Chan," He says honestly (because he is alright, it's just a bit of blood and few bruises) and stamps the butt-end of his fifth cigarette in thirty minutes into the cracked path.

"You 'aven't been fighten' again, 'ave you? With those Trapper boys?" Chantel asks severely, a mother of four, she's very intuned to her maternal instincts and even the slightest sign of distress has them flaring up, "It better not be with those Grimborn brothers! I'm telllen' you Snotlout, those two are shady bastards and its best to stay clear of 'em-"

Snotlout lights another smoke, this one from a full carton of Marlboro Red, and spits blood and phlegm onto the grass, tongue prodding the empty socket in his jaw.

"I haven't been fighting, Chan, promise," He reassures her, and that's also true because he didn't fight back at all, it was more of a beat down, "Just a disagreement with my old man, you know how it is,"

Chantel's back straightens like she's been in the army her whole life and she crosses her arms over her chest, red hair wet and shining like blood in the moonlight. Only four of the streetlamps work and they're further down the road, so the road and paths are alight only from the horseshoe moon that hovers amongst the star-filled sky, the black-asphalt gleaming silver. They've been complaints to the council to get them all fixed, but they won't do anything, they never do, they just leave the poor to rot.

She looks like she's about to say something about it, but he shakes his head at her. Instead of telling him to call the police, she says;

"You're bleedin' like a stuck pig all over the place, Lout, people'll gonna be thinkin' that Jack the Ripper is back from the fuckin' dead," He laughs at that and he offers a straight to her, as a thanks for not making a big fuss over finding him bloodied like a murdered boy in the middle of the night, but she shakes her head.

"You're grand, love, I got a pouch this mornin', save 'em for desperate times," Chantel looks him up and down, black eyes near white in the moonlight, "You look like you're in one now,"

Snotlout agrees with her. He waves a hand to bid her goodnight and goes inside. He closes and he turns on the hallway light. The marrow-deep tension in his bones slips away, causing a breath that comes from the very bottom of his tar-clogged lungs to fall from his lips, and his hurting heart finally stops beating against his ribs like a jackhammer as he leans against the front door.

He's safe, he's home. Because this small, shoddy house with its water-stained ceilings and peeling wallpaper and creaking floorboards is home. It's simple and a little broken, but it's home.

"Snotlout?" Eret calls from upstairs, he can see the bedroom light glow up the hallway at the top of the stairs, "That you?"

"Yeah," He takes a generous drag, then exhales slowly, "It's me, sorry I'm late... Went to see my dad, after work,"

Footsteps ring across the house and Eret appears at the top of the stairs, dressed in nothing but a ratty pair of grey jogging bottoms, his terribly handsome torso bare for Snotlout and Snotlout alone to see. He grins proudly around his cigarette at the sight of those hard abbs, those firm pecs, those faint scars, those old gang tattoos. Oh, what a handsome devil he is and Snotlout caught him all on his own.

"Fuckin' Hell, Snotlout!" Eret comes charging down the stairs like a mad horse and Snotlout barely blinks when he comes over to him, large hands gracing over his oozing temple and along his bruising jaw. The touch is very much welcomed.

"What happened? Were you jumped?"

"No, I wasn't fucking jumped-"

"You've lost a tooth!"

"It's in the car, in the glove box, I'll get Gobber to stick it back on,"

"I don't think that's how it works, darlin',"

Eret drags him into the living and posts him on the black vinyl couch. Hookfang, his German Shepherd, immediately bounds over to him and rests his snout on top of Snotlout's knees, wet nose twitching and throat moving with unfurling whines and whimpers. He pets him affectionally between his ears, humming lowly to Hookfang to help ease the old war-vet. Eret goes to snatch the half-smoked cigarette from his fingers, but Snotlout's reflexes are too fast.

"Hey! I'm not done, asshole,"

"Not smokin' in the house is your rule, not mine, I'm just helpin' you out,"

"Fuck that rule, just for tonight, fuck it,"

With a rich laugh, Eret saunters into the kitchen to get the med-kit. But Snotlout saw the concern and anxiety in those dark, earthy eyes and he heard it too in that laugh, it was a little shaky at the end. Hookfang barks at him.

"Easy Hookfang, I'm okay," He barks again, louder, black eyes glistening with fear, "I know pal, there's a lot of blood, but it's okay, I'm okay, soldier," He ruffles the War-dog's neck lovingly, trying to ease Hookfang's unnerved mood and distract him from the blood. It probably brings back bad memories for him.

Eret comes back with the med-kit tucked beneath his armpit and a large bowl of water cradled in his hands. He set it on the coffee table and politely nudges Hookfang out of the way, the Shepherd in turn leaps onto the couch and curls dutifully at Snotlout's side. Such a loyal friend, Snotlout doesn't deserve something as honourable as Hookfang's fidelity.

"Look like a stuck pig," Eret whisper, running a wet dishtowel along the drying river of blood that pours down his face and throat.

"Ha, Chantel said the exact same thing," He chuckles lowly, watching rivulets of watery blood travel down Eret's powerful forearms as he sponges at the blood along his cheek.

"Chantel?" He queries, eyes briefly flickering to meet his.

"Yeah, caught outside just as I was coming in," Snotlout closes his eyes as he lifts his chin so Eret can easily swipe the already stained towel down his throat. It leaves a funny tightness in his gut and a nice shiver ghosts up his spine at the vulnerable display.

"Well, expect the whole street to know by lunchtime tomorrow," Eret replies, then adds, "I mean, I love Chantel to pieces, but by God, she gossips like there is no tomorrow,"

Snotlout nods in agreement, smoking his cigarette and tapping the ash into an ashtray that's always kept on the coffee table, despite his own rule of no smoking in the house. But he's never been good at keeping to the rules, even his own ones. Eret wipes away the twin-tracks of maroon streaking from his nose and begins to wrap the gash above his eyebrow up.

"We'll go to the doctor tomorrow mornin', yeah? Think you might need stitches,"

"Cool," Is his reply, tired and uninterested.

All the blood is finally cleared from his skin. The towel is scarlet. The bowl on the table is no longer a bowl of water, but a bowl of blood. A swathe of bandages is wrapped around his head like a bandana, but there hasn't been any bleed through for a few minutes so Eret looks satisfied (and rather proud) at his nursing work.

After a moment, Snotlout flicks his finished fag into the ashtray and stares into Eret's dark eyes; he's very tired.

"Thanks for patching me up, babe," Snotlout says quietly, not because he doesn't mean it but because he is full of such a sudden exhaustion that it feels well overdue. His head, his brain, needs a good rest or else he's going to start screaming.

"No problem," Eret soothes his large hands up and down Snotlout's thighs, "Now, are you going to tell me what happened?"

Snotlout sighs, big and heavy, hand settling on the nape of Hookfang's neck and running through the dense fur. His heart shudders, his lung quiver, his blood boils, his body doesn't like any of this. Just get it over with, as he did with his dad.

"I told my dad about us. About me... you know, liking guys and all-"

"And he did this to you?" Eret's voice goes low, like a growl of an animal with its teeth bared. Snotlout would be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a bit. Thick fingers curl protectively around his thighs.

"Eret, don't get yourself all riled up about it, okay? It's done. I knew he'd react like this, it's not the first time he's punched me around and called me a faggot, just this time, he actually had a reason to call me one,"

"Yeah, well, it may not have been his first time but it sure as fuck is his last, do you understand?" Eret snarls vehemently, hands moving from his thighs to his hips and sides, Snotlout doesn't even flinch when he accidentally brushes against a forming bruise, "You are never going near him again, Lout, I won't let you be hurt by scum like that,"

Eret's eyes burn. Dark soil and spitting embers in furrowed sockets. The firm frown on his face and the clenching muscles in his jaw, grinding teeth that thirst for a hating man's blood. It's making Snotlout's throat go dry.

"You're hot when you're angry, have I told you that before?" He says lowly and Eret looks at him, vengefulness fading as he takes note of the wanton look in those pale eyes.

"You may have mentioned it once or twice,"

They breathe on each other's lips, tempting, waiting for the first one to move. Hookfang books it upstairs, sensing the heady change in the air.

Eret pushes Snotlout back onto the couch and crawls carefully over him, their lips immediately locking in a wet and obscene kiss that stretches on and on forever. Snotlout moans as Eret forces his tongue down his throat, golden hands skimming beneath his shirt and touching the tender flesh beneath in a skilled and teasing way that drives him mad. They make out for a while, dominating each other's mouths with vigour and gusto till their breathless and sweating.

The bloodied shirt is pulled over his head and Eret stills above him when he sees the black and blue bruises that bloom along his ribs and chest and stomach, even Snotlout gazes at them with morbid curiously. Fuck, his dad got him more than he realised. Not that it matters.

"I'll kill him, Snotlout, I'll kill him," Eret promises in a snarling growl and Snotlout wraps his arms around his shoulders, drawing him down so he can mumble against his lips;

"I know, but fuck me first,"

Of course, Eret complies.

Later, tangled in a mass of sweaty limbs and exhausted desires, Snotlout knows that he'll be okay. With his head on Eret's chest, he closes his eyes and sleeps because he's home, home has always been in those dark eyes, in those large hands, in those warm arms. Home has always been here.

Eret, a wanderer for most of his life, a lost man at sea who was bound for dirty work, has finally found a place to set loose his anchor. Snotlout is home, is the harbour he'll always be homebound to. He'll protect his Snotlout because who is he but a wanderer without his home.

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: Our lovers spend one last night together and the next morning have a serious discussion about their future after more new information comes to light about Sy’s upcoming training. Can the new relationship sustain the stress? Are Shane’s feelings justified, or can they overcome what lies before them?

Spoilers suck! Start from the top or wherever you left off HERE!

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, smut, angst…well, near angst. As angsty as I get.

Author’s Note: Sorry this has taken so long, my darling dears! I’m currently on vacation and although I was hoping to be inspired by new surroundings, it’s given me WICKED writer’s block! I have a pretty solid plan for more chapters, though, so, buckle up!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

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@misslaland (apparently deactivated, idk what’s up with that)

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

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Sy's last two PT appointments could not have gone better. On paper, anyway. He was at full strength in his injured knee, his range of motion was better than it was in the so-called good knee, and he hadn't complained of pain above a 2/10 in the last five sessions. He'd even been using the treadmill properly the last two weeks, working up to his own goal of running again. Her goals for him were met…they could have probably stopped a session short, but she'd wanted to give him a few more handouts to finalize his HEP…and well, she'd be in major trouble for saying so, but…she couldn't stand the thought of cancelling that last visit. It felt like quitting, even though it would have been justified.

In practice, however, there was a tension between them that had never existed before. Something creating awkward energy that they couldn't seem to shake. They hadn't seen each other much outside of therapy this week, either. Not since the night of their argument. Sy had to do a lot of prep for his trip to Virginia, and Shane's caseload this week had been ridiculous. Dozens of evaluations and updates and calls to various companies on different kinds of splints and orthotics she was hoping to get for a few of her patients. A lot of time spent on the phone meant a lot of after-hours documentation. She needed a break. Even if it meant she'd have to do some work over the weekend. Sy was leaving tomorrow to get settled in Charlottesville before the big training course began. She didn't want them to be apart on his last night home for a month.

"Hey, as a celebration of your discharge from PT and your new career trajectory, how about dinner on me tonight?"

"But…you don't really want me to leave town…or to be done with therapy. Not that I, myself, won't miss you feeling me up in public." he smirked as she took his last set of range of motion measurements, her hands gently holding one arm of her goniometer to the side of his thigh…suddenly too aware of him.

"Not entirely true. I'm glad you're better, I'll just miss seeing you through the day. It breaks up the…" she sighed "the monotony of my daily life. Also, why would I want you to leave town? What would that say about me as your girlfriend?" she explained.

"S'pose you're right."

"In this case, yes. Yes I am." She winked at him.

They finished up and she gave him a few more exercises to keep in his arsenal to maintain strength and range in both knees.

"Okay, now, I won't be around to harass you about these, but keep doing them regularly, and just modify them as I've notated if they get too easy. Try to just do more reps, though. I wouldn't try to bulk it up just yet, and that's what you'll do with more weight added."

"Yes, ma'am." he said for old time's sake. She shook her head and smirked.

"And listen, please. This is your physical therapist talking right now. Be careful and mindful during … your cross country training." she wanted to call it "Survivor-Virginia," but refrained. She knew it would get his hackles up. And she was taking enough of a chance insisting that he be careful. "Nature has perils for the perfectly fit. The already injured are at a disadvantage from the gate. Mind your footing. And try not to run unless you have to. Uneven surfaces are not your friend just yet. You still need to work up to that. If you want, I'll help you with it when you get back. Just…don't undo all this work we've done together."

He seemed to see his woman peeking out from behind the mask of his therapist. Concern coloring the neutral and clinical advice she was giving him.

"I'll do my best, sunshine." he held her by the arms and kissed her forehead. It felt too intimate for the setting, but they had done worse. "I'll see ya tonight then?"

"Yeah, I'll bring some food by your place after work. What do you want?"

"Hmmm…I'll let you know." he kissed her cheek and left.

The next hour was her lunch, so she had time to contemplate what seeing him walk out for the last time had made her feel. She sighed, and started to well up, getting out her lunch bag to begin eating and documenting when a knock came at the door frame.

It was Sy, looking forlorn and manic and altogether a mess. Very unlike himself.

"I got out to the truck and something just felt wrong about the way I left today. As if it was any other day. Not our last session. You were trying to get that to land…I'm a little slow. But I finally got it." he walked to her, grabbing her up from her chair in a hug that mended all of the broken parts of her. Squeezed her back together when she'd been damn near falling apart. "Shane, you…you did more than just make me better. You've…made me better. Happier. Whole. I'll never be able to thank you properly for all of this, but…I intend to try for as long as you'll let me."

He held her while her tears fell softly onto his Def Leppard shirt. This was what she needed. For him to simply hold her, complete her, love her.

"Also, I think I'd like Chinese food tonight." she laughed into his neck.

"You idiot."

"You still like me."

"I do. And you don't need to worry about thanking me, Sy. You return the favor daily by just…being you…and being mine." She pulled him in to a ferociously sexy kiss, her hands in his hair, still too short for her liking, but getting there.

He broke away, neither wanting it to end, but both knowing it must, all the same.

"I thought we couldn't do this at your work?" he inquired, slightly out of breath.

"We couldn't do this while you were a patient. You're officially discharged. Last appointment over. All I have to do is sign your note and it's a done deal. But now…if you wanted to drop by for lunch sometime when you get back from training for your fancy job…we could…make it a regular occurrence." she smiled up into his entrancing blue eyes, sparkling with promise.

"I like the sound of that, sunshine." he gave her one more chaste kiss before his official goodbye. "See ya tonight."

As she watched him leave, she remembered thinking to herself one day how he probably used to take very confident strides…that hardly did his walk justice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She ordered their favorites, four entrees total, so they had options, crab rangoon, egg rolls, dumplings, the works. She would be happy to eat off the leftovers all weekend. She wasn't fussy. She loved leftover Chinese takeout.

He met her at the door, having advance warning of her arrival from the canine burglar alarm, Aika.

"You got her. Good girl." he said sweetly thanking the pup for sounding off the Twilight Bark throughout the neighborhood.

"Hello!" She handed off the food to Sy and scratched at the German Shepherd's ears the way she liked, her tail wagging with joyous speed.  

"I thought we could set up a buffet on the coffee table downstairs while we watch TV?"

"Sounds great!" She said, with an enthusiasm that sounded almost forced. She wasn't able to fully shake this foreboding she felt saying goodbye to him, no matter how long they'd be apart.

Sy grabbed plates and silverware while Shane got them some beverages, and they headed downstairs, Aika knowing her boundaries did not extend to the basement except by invitation, whined at their descent. Sy wasn't having it.

"Oh, don't give us that sob story, ya brat." he rolled his eyes at Shane.

"Aww, can't she come down with us?"

"No way. I want you all to myself." a devilish smirk twitched up the corners of his mouth making him even more handsome.

"Aika has nothin' on you. You're the real dog." she teased.

"I make no excuses or arguments. I'm gonna be selfish with you tonight." they put the food and supplies on the coffee table and he caught her up into his arms. He seemed to want to inhale her into his lungs.

"Mmmm, as endearing as I've always found generosity, I really like the sound of that." She let out a huff of amusement.

They spent an uncharacteristically short amount of time choosing something to watch. They'd already started a miniseries together, and they wanted to finish it before Sy left. It was a British political thriller with a lot of intrigue and quite a bit of sex. They only had two hours left, so they finished it quickly as they ate.

They decided to put on something familiar afterward. Die Hard. Which they both quoted with ridiculous precision. They were cuddled into each other on the big sectional, lulled into comfort by the familiar security of the dialogue and the warmth of the other.

Soon, Sy's hand found its way to Shane's thigh. It inched its way inside and up. She felt like he could hear her heart rate quicken, just as she knew he could hear her breaths come with more effort due to his touch.

She looked at him, and despite her apprehension about his decision to leave her so early in their relationship, she wanted him. She'd known for so long now. It felt like forever, for longer than they'd even known one another. A ridiculous notion. But with that same gaze, she begged him to continue. The signal was not lost on the captain. His mouth punished hers in a kiss so deliciously violent and needy she thought there was no way he couldn't feel the same for her. She pushed to the back of her busy mind all of the negative emotions the kiss brought up, the confusion as to how and why he was going to leave her when he clearly needed her just as badly as she needed him, and just let this beautiful moment become what it would.

As hard as that was to do.

The way he touched her was a pretty effective distraction. One hand held her firmly against his mouth by the nape while the other built friction in her over her jeans. She felt her body's primal responses of the building pressure and her hands gripping at his shirt. His guttural moan at her answering touch only fueled the inferno in her. She needed more of him. She thrust up into his hand wantonly. He took himself away from her, cruelly, but to be so very kind, she would soon see. He undid her jeans and tugged them down, along with her panties. In the process, he repositioned her conveniently at the edge of the sofa. He scooted the coffee table out of the way enough to kneel before her. He tortured her with kisses from her knee up her inner thigh on both sides before continuing those kisses where she really needed them.

His warm breath hit her first and she arched, aching in anticipation for the corporeal. He looked up at her with his dervish's grin, seeing the desire on her face and feeling it course through her body, and although he was a better man than her previous lovers, and a better man than most, no man was so good that making his woman feel like this didn't make him feel like a god.

"Darlin', you're so gorgeous like this." he said as he teased her with his mouth. Her words failed. She had only unintelligible syllables for him. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed thoroughly amused by her speechlessness. Amused and encouraged. She'd never felt like this before. His lips and tongue worked over her trembling flesh, both as familiar paths and brand new territory. Discovering the new and remembering the familiar, all at once.

"Sy." she whispered, so close to her peak, and needing him to continue, but unable to do more than moan his name.

"I know, sugar. I know it won't be long. Whenever you're ready, sweetheart."

And she fell apart under his expert touch. He soothed her body down from the climax and asked her if she was ready for bed.

"I think not!" she replied. "The movie isn't over." and she pulled him up to her by the cheeks into another crushing kiss and guided him to the couch. She kicked her bottoms off her ankles to avoid tripping and repositioned herself between his legs as he'd done with her.

"You don't have to, sunshine." he caressed her jaw.

"I know, babe. I want to. Let me do this for you." He was always eager to taste her but she'd yet to return the favor at his own request. She was done letting him decline. She didn't want him leaving without giving him this small parting gift.

It wasn't as if she was unfamiliar with how big he was. She'd touched him, and had him inside her…but seeing him this close was different. She fully appreciated what a feat it was to take him.

She started in with her own tricks, which made him moan, just as planned. His hands laced gently and lovingly in her hair as she worked her mouth and hands over him. She looked up at him after a few moments to gauge his reaction and couldn't have been more pleased. His expression was one of pure, tortured bliss. She felt so powerful.

"Angel, I'm not gonna last much longer." she took that as her cue to get on top of him.

She joined their bodies with a groan of ecstasy that he echoed. She gripped his shoulders as she moved against him, slow and measured at first, but becoming more frantic and erratic as she chased her climax. One hand remaining on her hip, the other came to her chin and directed her gaze to him. Her eyes, blazing with desire, met his, full of tears. She fell against his lips, as she climbed higher, needing that final push to send her over. Which it did, tumbling into that familiar bliss, that she'd have to savor for…well, too long. She didn't want to think too hard about that. This would be their last night together for several weeks. And she wanted to make the most of it. She looked at him, nodded, and after a few more thrusts, he came to his own pinnacle with a shudder beneath her, clutching at her back, resting his head on her sternum. She held him there, and took a few cleansing breaths with her own cheek pressed against his lengthening hair. She stroked the ones at the back of his neck for a moment as they came down from their impossible high.

"Shall we continue this upstairs?" she asked as the cheery, festive, and entirely out-of-season notes of "Let It Snow" played on the TV with the rolling credits of Die Hard. He grinned.

"Yeah, if I still have bones in my legs." he kissed her neck, just above the collar of her tee. "And I'll come down later and clear all this up. We'll just have to close the door so Aika doesn't come down and have herself a party. She's a good dog, but I'm not about to tempt her."

Shane carefully slid off of Sy's lap, attempting not to make too much of a mess, grabbed her panties and slipped them on for the walk to Sy's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The musical chiming of Sy's phone alarm came too damned early. They'd barely slept, not wanting to waste a moment together. When they finally nodded off after their last round of fervent love-making, they wrapped themselves around one another and were both out like lights in no time. Now he was untangling himself from her to turn the noise off and presumably begin the process of getting ready to leave for the airport. He only snoozed it, though, and pulled her more tightly against his bare, hairy chest.

"What time is it?" She asked, bleary from lack of sleep and extreme fatigue. Not that she was complaining.

"Seven. But my flight doesn't leave until 10, and it's just from the base. There's a flight leaving there for  Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport and I'm hitchin' a ride with them."

"Oh good. I had anticipated we'd have to drive to Springfield, or even St. Louis this morning." She would do it for Sy, of course, but she wasn't looking forward to a six hour minimum round trip, half of which she would have to make alone.

"Nah, and I'm hoping to work something out for the return trip, too, but I'll let you know about that, then. I've made those open ended, though, because I don't know about the return date."

"Sure. God, that's so…crazy. Not in a bad way, just, I can't imagine leaving home without a clear plan on when I'd be back. Of course, knowing it won't be more than a month helps, I guess."

"Yeah."

"And really, a part of me has dreamed of living a sort of nomadic existence since I was very young, so I definitely see the romance in it."

"Totally agree. Hey, I'm hungry. How about we get ready and I'll buy ya breakfast?" He seemed evasive, but she was hungry, too, so she let it go.

"Sounds great!"

They got up and showered together, keeping the sexy time to a minimum given the current time constraints they'd now placed upon themselves. If they didn't hurry, they'd never get out of Cracker Barrell in time to get him to the base.

He loaded his bag in her cargo space and they headed off to the restaurant, which was hopping with traffic on a Saturday morning, as was expected. But since there were only two of them, they got a table without waiting.

They ordered coffees, and Cokes, not super healthy, but hey, this wasn't a daily occurrence. It was a splurge.

Sy ordered some massive and meaty breakfast spread that sounded like a heart attack waiting to happen, while Shane kept it simple with biscuits and gravy and a side of fruit…also, she stole a strip of Sy's bacon. Again…she was a weak woman.

The conversation was light and friendly and lovey…until the time came to leave. Sy picked up the check and took it to the counter to pay and then led her out the double doors back to her vehicle.

"You'll be able to FaceTime me on evenings you haven't gone walkabout in the wilderness, right?"

"I'm not sure they call it that outside of Australia, or even the Crocodile Dundee movies, but yeah, we'll plan on that, for sure."

"Good. I'll miss you so much. But at least I have a pretty good idea of when you'll be back." she was spouting excitedly, but he was being rather cagey again. He piped up with three words that never start off a good sentence.

"Yeah, about that…" she looked at him as they closed the doors to her Explorer, waiting for him to continue…hoping for good news, but expecting bad.

"I got an email last night…late…that I…that the training…might take longer than they told me at first." he winced for the impact of her reception of the anticipated bad news.

"Longer…uh-huh. How much longer?" she asked, backing out of her parking space.

"Ya know if you back into these spaces you don't have to worry about--"

"Really? This is the moment you want to man-splain the concepts of parking to me, Sy? I'll save you the trouble. My dad couldn't get me to do it, and I don't see you having any success, either. Now, how much longer?"

"I don't…they didn't give a concrete--"

"Give me your best guess based on what you know. Give me a range. A ballpark, if you will."

"Uhh…two or three more…weeks…than planned." he winced as she drove toward Fort Leonard Wood Army Base from the peaceful breakfast joint. It was rather poetic, really, since the conversation had turned from relaxed to militant. And they were driving from civilian territory into a land of combatants. Not a war zone, but a zone of warriors, perhaps. And she was ready for battle, herself.

"Sy. That's more than six weeks."

"I know." he said, his eyes downcast in some combination of shame, fear, and sadness.

"And you're…fine with it?" she prodded, prompting him to consider her.

"Of course I don't like it. I'm gonna hate being away from my sunshine for even a week. But this is…it's about who I am. Who I'm meant to be from now on. I have to find my way from here, Shane."

"I guess my only question is…where do I fit into this…path. This life you're making for yourself? We're brand new. But we've worked really hard already to get where we are. And I've worked really hard to get to where I am, professionally. In my dream job. No, the circumstances aren't ideal, but the work makes me think, and gives me purpose. What am I suppose to do? Either I give that up, or I give up…the only man I've ever been with who's made me actually happy."

"I don't want that. I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to give anything up for me, darlin.' That'll just lead to you resentin' me down the road, and I don't want that, neither." He stopped a moment and just looked at her, face holding back frustrated and angry tears…but also very sad ones. "What about this? Let's just, talk about all this moving forward stuff when I'm back from training. At that point, I'll know more about what to expect about jobs and assignments. And…if it would make you feel more comfortable…we can call ourselves…unexclusive. That way, if you meet someone while I'm gone--"

"Have you lost your mind?" She interrupted his ridiculous attempt to be selfless. She was secure enough in his feelings for her that he wasn't making the suggestion for himself.

"I'm serious. If you meet someone, and he sweeps you off your feet, don't resist. I want you to be happy, Shane."

"Then come back and teach gym at the local high school. Better yet, don't go, at all."

"You remember all that stuff you said about having your dream job and a purpose?" Shane nodded. "You want me to find all that too, don'tcha?"

"No. I'm a selfish bitch who wants you here with me no matter the cost. And I don't care if you resent me in the long run. At least I'll have you." she laughed at her sarcasm and only slightly true self-deprecation.

"You'll be fine. You managed so far without me." he reminded her as she pulled up to the gate, guarded by about four men, who's rank she couldn't tell, but one of whom Sy called a sergeant.

"I'll get out here and they'll take me to the hangar in a cart. No civilian vehicles allowed today. Apparently they're doing maneuvers." he shrugged and got out to grab his bag.

"I put the rest of the takeout in here too. It's in one of my nice coolers on ice."

"Thanks." she told her shoes as they stood under the shade of her rear access hatch. She couldn't look at him right now. He made her, though.

"This ain't quite like the airport, but I still don't have a lot of time, sunshine." he kissed her hard, and it really felt like a goodbye, which almost hurt more than his leaving. Almost. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and she knew she'd feel that embrace all evening. She hoped it would last for weeks.

"I love you, Sy." she sobbed to him. Trying like hell to keep it together.

"I love you, darlin.' Now don't you forget that when some other handsome fella gives you the eye. Make sure he's worth it, if you're gonna write me a dear john letter." he winked at her. She laughed and nodded, but didn't feel it was that funny, and didn't intend to adhere to his parameters of their relationship. He ducked under the arm that was preventing her from driving through. Although, legs as long as his, he almost could have stepped over it. She watched him walk away for as long as she could before she was given the signal that she must leave and let other traffic through…although, she resented this. There were two lanes, after all. Couldn't these men see what a mess she was? She'd just had to say goodbye to the love of her life…and she didn't know when…or indeed, if…she'd see him again. She had hope…but that didn't stop her from crying all the way home and the rest of the afternoon as the ghost of Sy's parting hug faded from her skin.

Up Next: Chapter 13: SNAFU

[sometimes-i-write-4-you]

hi! :) could it get a stanley barber x reader with prompt 23 of the romantic prompts?

Hate (how) you (make me feel) - Stanley Barber x reader

a\n - this took so long lol, hope you like it. i feel like there were’nt that many scenes with him but that’s just how the idea rolled so i promise to post a second Stanley fic featuring more of him.

trigge warnings: angst, cursing

word count: 3243

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanley Barber was my best friend, and I'm saying “was” because he’s been ignoring me for about a week now. I don’t know what happened, but I guess he just got tired of me, which was not very typical for him - he’s the type of guy to stick with you through thick and thin, he’d walk through fire with you even if you started it. However, it was typical for people to get tired of me. It’s not the first time my friends walk away from me, and if I survived losing them, i’ll survive losing Stanley, but this is different. The thing is, he wasn’t just my best friend. I truly liked him. I mean, liked-liked, like, I love him. He doesn't know, obviously, I'd never risk our friendship. The last time we hung out i almost did it, kind of confessed. Maybe this is what scared him off?

I open my computer and search up “how to get over losing a friend?”

1.  Don't try to force closure.

A week ago, Stanley and I were still okay. I was planning to ask him to go to homecoming with me. As friends, of course, but i guess that’s out of the question now. My mind travels to the last time we hung out.

“(y\n)!” Stanley smiled at me from the porch. He ran toward me, even though he wasn't wearing shoes. He almost slipped over a random rock in the driveway, but it didn’t stop him from reaching out and pull me into a hug. His hugs were the best hugs ever, and nothing can convince me otherwise. “Hey stan '' I replied into his chest, since I didn't get the chance to stand on my toes and minimize the height difference, which kind of made the hug even better.  “Yo, i have to show you what i got! I searched for it for so long, and I finally got it!” he said, grabbing my hand and running into his house. “My dad is, uh, he’s away, which means that, uh, we can watch it right now!” he kept going as he dragged me to his room. His hand still held mine when we arrived, and I hoped he’d blame how red my cheeks got on the running. His other hand grabbed a VHS from his desk, “look!” he smiled, leaving my hand to hold the VHS right in my face. I took it from his hands. “It’s (your favorite 80’s movie)!” I smiled, looking down at the VHS. he took it back and ran upstairs, “come on!”. I followed him upstairs, and arrived just in time to catch him sliding on the floor rock-star style toward the VHS player. “There’s- uh, there’s popcorn bags in the cabinet next to the fridge” he called, and I walked past him toward the kitchen, ruffling his hair on my way to get the popcorn. He claimed to hate it, but it was funny how he’d get mad. “(y\n)! It took forever to- ``''get my hair to look this good, don’t ever touch it again because i know where you live!” I mimicked him. He always said this exact sentence, which followed a “and what would you do?” from me, and to that he had a different answer every time. “I’ll take away your popcorn privileges!” he threatened this time. “Whatever” I laugh.

By the end of the movie we were cuddled up, his hand on my shoulder and my legs over his lap. I leaned on him while trying to dig up some popcorn crumbs from the bag. He took the bag and poured the crumbs in his mouth. “Stan!” i said, punching his chest. He moved the bag and I suddenly noticed how close our faces were. His eyes looked right at me, and I felt my heart skip a beat. He stuck his tongue at me breaking the awkward stare.”i love you” i thought to myself. I didn’t even realise I said that out loud until Stan got up. “What? Wait? Are you serious?” he asked, and i was quick to deny the meaning behind it, thought it was not smooth. “Of course buddy, you’re my best friend, '' I said, getting up to pinch his shoulder. “Oh! oh, right, yeah, love you too, buddy” he smiled at me. “Well, i gotta go to.. Work” i made up, desperate to escape the scene. “Really? I didn’t see your name on the shift list-” Stan said, confused. I forgot we work at the same place. “Uh, yeah, Jason wanted me to replace him, he has a.. Huge test and he didn’t have the time to study” i lied. “O-” stan started, “kay”. I was already on the other side of the door though. 

I later on looked at the shift list, it was Jenna and Carla’s, so Stanly probably knows I lied. Maybe that’s that, so no need to talk to him about his sudden distance. 

2. Give yourself a lot to look forward to

What can I do to keep myself busy? Maybe I can take up a new hobby - guitar, painting, writing. I can talk to mrs. Miller to get more shifts a week? I’ll talk to her today. Wait, shit, today. I have a shift with Stanley. We rarely get to work together, since Mrs. Miller knows we tend to talk instead of working, it was like that ever since we met at my first shift.

“Stanley, I'd like you to meet (y\n), she’s going to replace me since I'm leaving for college tomorrow. I was supposed to teach her the job, but my mom stalled with choosing a replacement. I think she tried to get me to stay. You think you can show her around?” Frank said. Frank Miller. He’s dating my brother, so he hooked me up with this job since his mom is the owner. “Sure thing, Frankey” the curly-haired boy said, and Frank left us to be. On our way here he promised i would like the company, “you’d get along just fine, (nickname), Stanley, for example, is just as weird as you, if not more. He’s the only person to call me “frankey” other than my mom” were his exact words, and when Stanley noticed your bloodwitch shirt, it turned out that he was right. 

“First thing first, you gotta change, unfortunately we can’t wear awesome band shirts to work. I know. It’s stupid” he said, and took a pink polo shirt identical to his from under the table. “And what’s your favorite bloodwitch song?” he asked me, tossing the shirt at me. “Hard question” I replied, putting on the pink shirt and adjusting the tuck. “A gun to your head, what’s your answer?” he says. “Well, a gun to my head… (your fav)``I say, and he smiles. His smile is so pretty, and even though i barely know the guy, i know that i’d love to make him smile again.

I arrive at the bowling alley, step 3 repeating in my head.

3. Meet new people – but don't pressure yourself to find a new BFF ASAP.

“Hey” i smile at Mrs. Miller. Sure, she’s old, but i can befriend her, right? It counts. “Hey” She smiles back. “How’s Frank?” I ask her, and she asks about my brother after saying her son is doing great in college. “Well, he’s just fine” i reply, and with that Mrs. Miller is off to do whatever she needs to do to keep the place running. So maybe making her my friend is not a good idea. 

Stanly is already there, since his shift started earlier, and he was shining the shoes behind that same counter where we first met. The hours pass by, but no one my age is arriving, it’s either 12 year olds or 30 years old, and my hope to find a new friend is slowly fading. Maybe i should just work on my existing connections.

A short haired girl I recognised from school rushed in, and walked directly to Stanley, who went back to the shoes. As they talked, he glanced at me. I hurried and moved my eyes toward the couple who was about to ask me to get them fries. I never knew i needed to be a waiter if i work at a bowling alley, they don’t even tip me here. Maybe i should quit and get a different job where there is no Stanley Barber and his beautiful smile and stupid curls and charming personality. Somewhere where someone else is choosing the playlist and I'm forced to listen to Justin Biber. Maybe i’ll even start liking his music. Stanley and the girl leave.

An hour passed, and I understand he may never come back here to close, meaning I had to do it by myself for the first time. A couple walks in, and i recognise them from school, in fact, i even manage to remember their names. “Dina, Bradley, hey” I smile at them. The making-new -friends plan is back on track.

 4. Tailor your social media if needed.

I took a picture of the burger I ordered, posting it on my story. I tagged Dinna. My plan succeeded, as you see. Dinna is likeable, however Brad pissed me off. He was being a bit possessive and controlling, but Dinna was blind to it. “Oh, my friend Sydney would be joining us, I hope that’s okay, I just rarely get to hang out with her now that I have a boyfriend. She doesn't really like him, so having the both of ‘em around at the same time is not an option” Dinna says, and the bell rang, meaning someone walked in. The girl that Stanley took off with yesterday sat down across from her. “Sydney! Meet (y\n), i met her at the bowling alley yesterday” Dinna says. “Oh, hi” Sydney smiles, but her voice is a bit disappointed. “Well, i’ll be off soon, i’ll just finish my food” i said. “Oh, okay” Sydney starts, but Dinna’s “oh, no, why?” is clashing. I choose to answer Dinna. “Homework. I had to close the Bowling alley alone since Stan..ley ditched me” i said, deciding to use his name instead of the nickname i got used to. “I wonder why’s that” Dinna said, looking at Sydney. “I- i don’t know if i can share the news with her, no offence, but i don’t know you” Sydney said. “Oh, none taken” I say, But Dinna insists. “Come on, you can’t leave me hanging. You said you hung out with him on the phone, and that you’ll give me the details face to face! Come on, you can trust (y\n), she’s alright” Dinna said, and now I know for sure I don't want to hear Sydney’s news. “Well, we got high,” Sydney gave in. Stanley and I used to get high together. “And then we, uh, slept together,” Sydney says. “You know I'm actually gonna take that to go and leave now, lots of homework” I say, getting up. I paid on my way out, and started to walk home as tears formed in my eyes. I refuse to blink and let the warm, salty liquid run down my cheeks, but when I arrive home, my mascara is all smudged and  I'm shaking. I hurry into my room before my mom notices.

5. Have a game plan when dealing with mutual friends.

Step 5 made me laugh when I first saw it, but now that Dinna invited me to come along with her and Sydney to Ricky’s birthday party, I had to figure it out. I haven’t told Dinna the real reason i left, and when she called to ask about my homework progress my voice was still shaky from crying, and i was confused as to what homework is she talking about, cause i always finish these during school breaks, especially now that i don’t spend them with Stanley. We used to finish as much as we could together, but we’d lose focus and I ended up sitting at the park after school to finish what I had left.

I agreed, thinking it will take my mind off of Stanley, but I later found out he’s planning to be there. All I need to do is just.. Avoid him. I bet he’s gonna be late. He was always late to work, and to our hang outs over at my house or anywhere other than his house. He used to be late at school, but then he started picking me up and I told him to be there half an hour before the time I wanted him there, and he arrived right when I needed him. When he found out, he was so offended, so I reminded him of the first time he picked me up at school. The both of us had to write a two page long essay about arriving on time and the importance of being present at school, since we missed the entirety of the first period. Ever since then, he got to my house 15 minutes earlier than he used to, just to be safe. 

6. Try to learn something from it (if you can).

My friendship with Stanley was good to the both of us. We matured together, we learned new things together. We made each other better, and encouraged each other to be ourselves. Not that Stanley was shy, but he wasn't as shouty as he is nowdays. He wouldn't ask someone to homecoming, for example, but he did that at Rick’s party. Homecoming is tomorrow, and i’m going alone, which is kind of sad. I put on a nice enough dress (or jumpsuit, or suit, whatever floats your boat. I wore a jumpsuit to prom at my senior year). I did my makeup a bit more dramatic than usual. Dinna and Sydney promised me a dance from each. After hanging out with her a bit, I liked Syd. i couldn’t holf the fact she had sex with the guy i love against her, it’s not like she did it on purpose, she was high and as i learned when she confessed to me she has feelings for Donna, not interasted in ever doing that again. I was surprised she made me her secret buddy, but I guess it made sense - she couldn’t tell Dinna without risking their friendship, and the same goes for Stanley, who partially believed he had a chance with Syd.

“You look gorgeous!” Dinna smiled at me as she made her way toward me, hugging me. “You look.. Like a christmas tree, in the best way possible”  i compliment her. She laughs, “thanks”. She offers to go place our votes for prom king and queen, and just when we’re done, Sydis approaches us, dragging Stanley along with her. 

 “Stan” Dinna smiles at him. He was wearing his sky blue suit. When he got it i said it’s stupid, but now that i see him wearing it, it suited him. His fashion sense was kind of weird, but I liked it, it was very much… him. “Dina! You look like a Christmas tree” Stan said. “Thanks, man” Dinna said, “actually (y\n) said the same thing. You two work together, right?”. “Yeah, but we barely get any shifts together” I said. It wasn’t a lie. “Yeah” Stan agreed, looking anywhere but at me. “I’m gonna go get some punch” I said, and left.

7. Accept that you may never reconnect.

They kept talking for a bit, and I took a seat on the benches with my punch. It wasn’t that good, but i said i’m off to get one so i had to stick to the story. “Hey (y\n)” a familiar voice said as the sky-blue wearing guy sat down next to me. He didn’t sit too close, but I could still feel the warmth his body was radieting and smell all 3 colons he had on. “Hey, Stanley” I replied, keeping my eyes on the dance floor. “So you wanna dance?” he asked.  “No, not really” I said. It wasn’t exactly the truth. I wanted too, but i just felt like he’s asking out of pity, or cause Dinna and Syd forced him. You really expect me to believe he wanted anything to do with me after the way he’s been ignoring me for two whole weeks? “Yeah, I guess i get that. Look, I'm really sorry for ignoring you, i just-” Step 1 - don’t look for clouser my mind screamed at me. “You just hate me?” I ask, finally looking at him. “Not you, no, never” he says, turning his eyes to me. They looked just as sad as mine, he was… offended. “I don’t- how can you ever think that?” he said. “Are you really asking that?” I say, a sad laugh accompanies my words. “No, (y\n), i could never hate you, I just hate how you make me feel-” he says, and I look at him confused. “How’s that better?” I say, but he ignores me and continues to talk. “i hate how you make me feel so… not in control. When i’m around you, i get all stuttery, and i have this annoying feeling like- like there are butterflies in my stomach. Have you ever felt that? It’s terrible” he says, and then cuts eye contact. The dance floor seems very interesting to me now, too. “Look, two weeks ago, when you said you love me, I really wanted it to be true. I stayed away because I realized that you don’t feel the same and I have to accept that. But, (y\n), not having you in my life sucked, so I don't care if it’s just as friends, I want you to be a part of my life” he said, fidgeting with his fingers. “Stan..” I started, but I had no clue how to word what I wanted to say. I rested my hand on his shoulder. “Look, it’s cool if you don’t feel the same, but just, be my friend again, please?” he said, and as he finished the sentence he finally looked at me. I took the chance. Now or never. My lips met his. He was surprised for a second, but once he realized what was happening, his hands found my waist and he turned his body to me as we looked for a comfortable enough position. We finally break the kiss to breath, but none of us dares to open our eyes, just in case this is a dream and we’ll wake up if we open our eyes. I can feel his breath on my lips, and I want to pull him into another kiss, but first i have to say something.

“Stan, I won't be your friend,” I say, opening my eyes to look at him. He opened his eyes. “What?”. “However, i will be your girlfriend” the words slip out of my mouth, and the look in his eyes was so worth it. “(y\n), don’t ever scare me like that again” he says, and offers me his hand right as the music gets slower. “Now, may i have this dance, babe?” he asks. “Only if you never call me babe again” I say and take his hand. “That’s fair, yeah, it felt wrong” He Said as he spun me around on our way to the dance floor. Looks like i don’t need to worry about step 7 after all.

[ash-etherwood]

Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

- - - - -

FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 28

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k - 4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: filler chapter again sorry! but i tried to make it cute! i didnt plan a sex scene but its there sooo yea haha lol

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : 2 requests! i hope i wrote them right! love them btw! please keep sending them!!!

Chapter 28 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I thought we would have sex before we went to bed but I must have fallen asleep faster than I wanted to. Niall also probably undressed me because when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was wearing his shirt and nothing else. I smiled, keeping my eyes closed, and brought my shoulder closer to my nose. It smelled like him even if he probably didn't wear it for too long since he had a buttoned shirt at the wedding. I turned around in bed, trying to reach him with my arm but he wasn't there and I let out a short whimper before forcing myself to open my eyes.

The room was dark and quiet and it made a shiver run in my back. I got up and realized his shirt was a bit short. I searched through my stuff for a clean pair of panties and put it on before quietly getting out of the room. Everything was dark except for a very low and warm light in the living room. I walked slowly closer and leaned against the wall when I saw Niall sitting on the couch. He was writing very quickly in his notebook and he was so concentrated that he didn't even notice me. It was always special for me to see him when he seemed to be so deep in his thoughts that no one could get in his bubble. His hair was a mess and once in a while, he ran his hand in it, making the mess even worse. I stared at him for a while as he kept his focus on the paper, wearing only his boxers and making me realize he probably woke up in the middle of the night with an idea that he couldn't let go of. Something that he knew he wouldn’t remember in the morning but that he just had to write about.

I didn't know how long I stayed there but I didn't want to interrupt him or distract him. I just walked back to the room after a while and lied down in bed, looking at the ceiling. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened to me in the past few months and somehow, I felt like everything was going for the better. The more time passed, the more It seemed like I was discovering who I was and what I wanted.

It was so obvious that what I wanted was Niall but more than that, what I really wanted was a healthy relationship with Niall. I wanted us to be the kind of couple that would drip with sweetness but that also could spend time without each other without going crazy. I wanted him to be my best friend but not my only friend and I didn't want either of us to be afraid, insecure, jealous or unhappy. I knew I was asking a lot, and I knew not everything could be perfect all the time, but I knew Niall and I together could come very fucking close to perfection.

I tried to stay awake until he came back to sleep but once again, I probably had fallen asleep despite myself because when I woke up again, the sun was already up and I had a small headache. I groaned and this time, I knew he was still in bed. I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine and I turned in the sheets, wrapping my arm around his back. His cheek was flat against the mattress just like his chest and I watched him sleep, his lips parted and slightly twisted as he let out a low snore. Fuck, he was so hot and I just stared at him with my eyes half-open for a few minutes, or maybe 15? 20? Who knew?

When I realized how bad I needed to pee, I finally got up very slowly, making sure I wouldn't wake him up. He was always up before me but I knew he had been up a big part of the night to write something and I wanted him to get the rest he needed and clearly deserved.

I made coffee and stayed next to the coffee machine as I watched it fall down, yawning a few times before adding cream and sugar in my cup. I couldn't stop thinking about him going on tour and being separated from him for weeks and it made something twist in my chest. Of course, I didn't want to be the girl who would follow him everywhere. I was not that girl anymore. I was not dependent of the man I loved, and I had stuff to do and commitments, too. We were about to start filming the new season of my tv show and although I dreaded playing with Dylan I knew it was something we had to do. It would be awkward at first, for sure, but in the end, I knew he was professional and I promised myself I would be, too.

I finished my coffee but left the cup in the sink before walking to the living room. It was supposed to be a lazy day and I was surprised my head didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, or that I wasn't nauseous at all despite all the champagne I had drank the night before.

I sat on the couch and pushed the stuff on it to find the remote. It showed that I was spending time at Niall's : his place had never been so messy and I suddenly felt guilty. I finally found the remote but looked at it before sighing, putting it back on the coffee table as I took the decision to clean a bit while he was still asleep. Something caught my attention and even if I knew I shouldn't, I grabbed hos notebook to the page it was opened and started reading. Niall rarely shared his writing with random people until it was a final product and all the songs I had heard was because I had crept on him somehow. I was not proud of it but at the same time, he never really seemed angry about it. I remembered that time when we were all at his place and I had followed the sound of his guitar until I practically fell in the room like a loser as he was playing a song. At that time, I had thought it was about Heidi but now that I knew it was about me, I wished I could remember what the lyrics were. All I could remember was that I had deeply hoped that it was for me. That thought made something twist in my chest and I licked my lips before letting my eyes roam on the words I was probably not supposed to see.

"I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes"

A lot of words seemed to be scratched a few times and then I could read something that seemed like a chorus.

"Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See you standing in your dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"

I swallowed and ran my fingers on the ink, feeling the tiny rifts and bumps in the paper and feeling my heart beating so fast in my chest that I had a hard time to breathe.

"Now, we're sitting here in your living room Telling stories while we share a drink or two And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind We're 65 and you ask "When did I first know?" I always knew."

And just when I thought it was probably not about me, I saw a word that was also scratched at the end of the lyrics and I could swear it started with a capital O. I grabbed the notebook, moving it up and putting the simple sheet where the song was written in the light. It appeared clearly. My name at the bottom. I didn't know why it was crossed out and I was not sure I wanted to know. but as I re-read the lyrics for the tenth time, I couldn't lie to myself anymore. It was a wedding song.

After a few minutes, I finally started moving again. I cleaned the living room, washed the dishes, started laundry and even started cleaning the windows. All while thinking about the song, the lyrics hitting inside my brain and doing something incredible to my heart : something I hadn't felt ever before. I would never tell him but if Niall asked me to marry him at this exact moment, I would say yes. Was it because of the great time we had the night before? Or maybe because we were so happy together these days? I had no idea. But I knew I'd say yes in a heartbeat. Tomorrow, I couldn't tell you what my answer would be but today? It would be a million times yes.

I saw him walk behind me in the reflection of the now extra clean windows and my lips immediately curled. He placed himself behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder, and suddenly, I felt so much better than I did only a few minutes ago, even if I was still happy before.

"You should have waken me up." he whispered in my ear. "I would have helped you. Especially that you're cleaning wearing only a shirt and panties. I'd love to see you on all four as you clean the floor."

I laughed and raised my nose up as he kissed a spot near my ear. It was not only my love for him that made my heart jump when he was near, it was more than that. It was who he was, who I hoped he would always be.

"Tell me you'll always do that, that you'll always say things like that."

He pulled away slightly and turned his head more to look at me. I waited for his answer but he was waiting for me to look at him and I gave in, my eyes finally meeting his.

"Hold you? Kiss you? Tell you that I love and lust you?" he asked low, raising his eyebrows. I bit my bottom lip and nodded. "I promise. I swear. You have my words. And my heart. And my body, soul and mind."

My traits softened and I turned in his arms to face him, wrapping mine around his neck, moving my chin up to kiss him. He pushed me gently against the window as we kissed and I felt my butt press against it, making me chuckle.

"I'm gonna have to clean that window again." I let out with a smile as he chuckled against my lips.

"Or, you know, we can leave it like that." he proposed, shrugging a shoulder. "Your butt print seems like a nice decoration."

I'm the one who laughed this time. "You? Leaving a dirty window without touching it? Who are you trying to fool, Horan?"

"Don't call me that." he just said in a serious tone, raising his eyebrows.

"Or what?"I asked, teasing him with a sassy voice.

"Or I'm gonna tickle you." he pointed out, making my heart skip a beat. "I'm gonna tickle you until you beg me to stop."

"Sure, Horan." I tried to provoke him, putting emphasis on his last name.

He stared at me for a few seconds but suddenly and quickly, he picked me up and brought me to the couch. I was surprised that he could actually support my weight and he finally let me fall on the couch as I bounced on the cushions but he quickly straddled me, grabbing my wrists and pulling them over my head. When was the last time we played like that? It had been so long I couldn't remember.

"Apologize now." he ordered, looking down at me.

I could feel his grip tighten on my wrists and I licked my lips. "Never."

"Last chance." he let out, making me smirk.

"Bite me, Horan."

Quickly, he brought his free hand to my waist and started tickling me. Immediately, I started squirming, trying to get out of his grip as I let out a few high pitched yells. It made him laugh and it made me remember how much I hated to be tickled. After a while, he stopped and my lips parted as I started panting.

"You looking like that? God. Makes me want to tie you up and have my way with you."

I let out a short laughter and he started tickling me again until I started screaming his name.

"Niall! Niall stop! I c-can't!"

He did as I asked and smirked. "Beg me." he let out, shaking his eyebrows. "Apologize and beg me."

"Mm, I'm so sorry, Niall." I whispered with puppy eyes. "Please I'm begging you, stop tickling me?"

"Don't you fucking pout like that, it makes me want to fuck your mouth."

I laughed louder this time, tilting my head back slightly and closing my eyes as I felt his hand run up my breasts.

"And you say I'm the horny one!"

"Heyyy!" he argued with a frown. "I fingered you last night and I didn't cum at all, remember?"

My smirk disappeared and I just smiled at him. "You want to cum now?"

He groaned and raised his nose up. "I feel like all we do is fuck."

I shrugged and he finally let go of my wrists. I brought my hands to his pants and slid one in them, raising my eyebrows again but in surprise this time.

"You went commando?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he reached for my shirt and moved it up to expose my breasts as I took his cock out of his pants, stroking him slowly with both my hands. He breathed in and then out, letting out a very short whimper and one of his hands moved back to reach between my legs. He moved two of his fingertips on my panties, brushing against my clit and I pressed my lips together. I tried to focus on what my hands were doing and spit on his cock before running my fingers right under his tip. He groaned and brought his hand back to grab one of my breasts hard and I started stroking him harder.

"That feels so fucking good." he admitted, running his thumb on my nipple. "I tried doing that to myself and it just doesn't work. It has to be your hands."

I didn't tell him but it probably could have been anyone's hands except his and even if he probably knew it, I didn't want to point it out just in case. He took his cock in his hands, making me hold my breath and take my hands away and quickly, he tapped his cock on my tits before rubbing his tip on my nipples.

"Please, petal, push your tits together."

My heart jumped so high in my chest that I had to swallow it back.

"Niall, I don't think my boobs are big enough to-"

"Do it." he cut me.

I bit my bottom lip and did as he asked, just watching him spit in his hand and rub his cock again. My lips parted when he put his cock between my breasts and he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn't even look at me again. I could pretend otherwise but watching him using me to cum was actually exciting and when he groaned, I pressed my thighs together as I felt my pussy throb. I loved the feeling of his cock sliding quickly between my breasts and the thought in itself was driving me insane. After a while, he took his dick back in his hand and started jerking off harder until his lips parted.

"Jesus Christ." he whispered as I held my breath.

He shook slightly over me, moaning low as his cum spurted on my chest and breasts. I just remained motionless as he came down from his high, letting out a low 'fuck" and rubbing his tip on my nipples again, spreading his cum on me.

He sighed and sat on me, putting his cock back in his pants as I stared at him and he shook his head.

"I'm so.. so sorry. I was just so..."

"Horny? Yea I noticed." I chuckled, letting my lips curl as he finally looked back at me.

"I didn't really give you much attention, did I?" he asked, raising his nose up. I could read guilt on his face and my lips curled. "I'm sorry, pet."

"I'm just... I'm glad I made you cum. Didn't think that would be so exciting, but it was." I admitted, pulling my shirt back over my breasts as he laughed. "Also didn't think it was possible with my boobs."

"Your boobs are perfect." he pointed out before getting up and holding his hand out for me.

I put my hand in his and his fingers gripped mine as he helped me get up, letting his eyes roam on my face. He bent down to kiss me and I closed my eyes at the way it made my heart jump in my chest.

"Lazy day yea?" he proposed in a breath, his mouth still pressed against mine. "You go take a shower and I'll close all the curtains, find a good tv show to binge on netflix, and order something, chinese maybe?"

I nodded quickly and smiled. "That sounds perfect."

I took a quick shower and put on a pair of his sweatpants and one of his shirts and when I got back in the living room, he had brought pillows and blankets, a few beers and was waiting for me with the remote in hands. I stared at him for a while, just trying to live the moment and realize how lucky I was, before finally sitting next to him. He looked up at me with a smile and I pushed the pillows away to lean against his chest as his back was against the side of the couch. His legs were spread but they moved a bit close to both my sides, kind of to trap me close to him. He tried to put the blanket over us and I helped him before squirming slightly to be more comfortable.

"Hey, watch the goods, yea?"

I laughed but still took care of where I was moving and he wrapped one of his arms around me.

"Remember this spot because food will be there in half an hour and we're gonna have to do it all over again." he said, making me groan and making him laugh. "Seriously though, it feels good to have you here with me just to have a lazy day."

I felt my heart swell and smiled more, turning to kiss his jaw gently. He looked down and his lips met mine and he deepened the kiss just as the first episode of a series we both wanted to watch started.

"How will I be able to focus on anything but you today, mm?" I let out, half-joking.

He rolled his eyes with a low chuckle and we both focused on the tv for a while. I groaned when the doorbell rang and he laughed again. I sat up to let him get up and when he came back with the food, I realized how hungry I was. we ate again in silence but I couldn't stop glancing at him. There was something endearing in the way he used his chopsticks to push the noddles in his mouth and I only realized I was staring when he turned his gaze to me and chuckled. I blinked a few times and looked away as he swallowed his food.

"It's okay, you can stare. I stare at you too, you know. You just don't notice."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and put my food away.

"Just like I stared at you for about twenty minutes in the middle of the night." I confessed, making him frown. "You were sitting here, in only your boxers, and you were writing. You were so focused on what you were doing that you never noticed me."

I couldn't add that I had found him gorgeous with his messy hair and his tired eyes. I couldn't say that I had felt a wave of love so strong that I almost started crying. I couldn't tell him that because it still embarrassed me to be so in love with him. Not because I didn't want to be, but because I was scared I would end up losing him again.

His lips curled into a smile and he pushed the air out of his lungs. "I was writing a song. For you. About you."

My lips crashed against his and he replied to the kiss quickly, pushing his tongue deep in my mouth as I whimpered. He didn't know that I had read it and I suddenly felt guilty but he literally confirmed that his lyrics were about me and somehow, it made me ecstatic. So ecstatic that I surprised myself wishing he'd ask me to marry him as soon as our lips would part.

"I didn't know if I should tell you but, Olivia, I'm so happy we're both single right now. I know it's wrong to say that but fuck, I'm happy with you. Just you and I. No guilt, no stress, no question. You and me, living this moment."

I kissed him again, not knowing what to answer. I was happy too. I was happier than I had ever been, even before we broke up, and I didn't want anything to change. I didn't want to jinx this by claiming my happiness out loud. I didn't want to risk this happiness with an official relationship because last time didn't end well. It was ridiculous. All my fears made no sense, but it didn't make them vanish to know that.

"I love you, Niall." I whispered, leaving small kisses slowly on his mouth, jaw and cheeks. "I love you more than anything. No one is you."

He finally let go of his chopsticks to cup my face and he breathed in before his mouth found mine again.

"I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life." he murmured quickly before kissing me again.

My heart jumped when I recognized the lyrics and it made me wonder how often he talked to me with his own lyrics. I wanted to hear all of them. One time, twice, three times... a hundred fucking times. I wanted him to play me all the songs that were for me, to sing them, to whisper them, to yell them. I wanted him to make love to me while he'd do it, to hold my hand as we walked outside as he'd sing, to fucking marry me as he'd yell. I wanted him to claim his love for me until I'd be tired to hear it. And deep down, I knew I'd never be.

"I have a weekend left before I leave for tour." he just said sadly, breaking my heart. "I thought we could leave. Pack a bag, take the road, only you and me, for a few days."

My lips curled so much that my cheeks started hurting and I quickly nodded. I really wanted to spend quality time with him while it was still possible and I kissed his lips again.

"That's a yes?" he made sure as I nodded. "Okay then, we're leaving in 3 days. So cancel all the plans you had."

I laughed and licked my lips, licking his at the same time because of the proximity of our mouths.

"Niall? I'm sorry, I had planned to spend all my days with you but this super hot guy just asked me on a road trip so I'm gonna have to rain check."

He laughed and shook his head slightly. "Dork."

He pulled away slightly to stare at me as we completely forgot the show playing. I grabbed the remote and put it on pause before looking back at him and tilting my head. I needed him more than I ever needed him before and it was scaring me so bad I could feel my heart trying to escape my rib cage in intense thumps.

"Tell me you love me." I whispered as I bit my bottom lip nervously. "Please, Niall."

His face changed and he moved closer. I thought he'd kiss me again but instead, he got serious and I felt him grab my hands.

"I love you, Olivia. I'm in love with you. I never stopped, not one second. And I never will. Do you want me to repeat it every day? At which frequency? Every 6 hours? 4 hours? Two? I'll put a damn alarm on my phone to tell you in the middle of the night if I have to." he said in a soft tone. "I know it was different when we dated, but I will never let you believe that you are not perfect the way you are, that you are not everything I want and need, or that you are not loved. Never again. I swear, Olivia. I fucking love you."

[melody-fox]

for the ask 3 and 23

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

I have always loved detective stories, mysteries, crime and such, and growing up one of my favorite series to read was the Nancy Drew books. I devoured those things, I’d bring home like 6 from every library trip and would have them finished in 2 days. The library couldn’t keep up with my little addiction, so eventually I had to write my own. And I created what - now that I’m thinking about it - was very much a self-insert Mary Sue sort of character whose name was an anagram for Nancy Drew (have fun guessing that one). There wasn’t much of a plot, ever, just ideas of the mysteries she’d solve, the fun she would have and such. Lots of random action scenes in my head that were over choreographed and such.

That one has definitely been in there the longest I think. I think I was 12 or 13 years old.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Okay okay okay okay okay here we go. This ask is the reason it took me so long to post this lol.

If you’ve followed me for a minute, you’ve probably figured out I’m obsessed with a lot of things, but specifically Supergirl and Supercorp right now. And I have these characters, their arcs and potential just bouncing around in my head on a daily basis. So of course, when I watch a movie or a tv show and they happen to have a blonde and a brunette or heck, just a really interesting idea or concept, I’m going to project my current obsession onto it.

So, if you’ve seen Edge of Tomorrow: Live, Die, Repeat, this should make sense. If not, eh, you’ll still probably enjoy this.

below the cut

Lena’s lost count. It’s been too many times. Too many. And every time, every single time, they die. Every time.

They’ve made it to the farm again. She has to be careful, quiet; Lena knows too much about this area now. There is a mimic buried barely nine yards from the barn, at least ten more in the field, the helicopter is an explosion waiting to happen, and Kara is still bleeding out.

This is the safest they’ve been so far.

Lena stops the car next to the barn and hurries around to the passenger side to help Kara out, careful not to jostle her shoulder too much.

“I’m fine, it’s alright,” the blonde protests, shakily standing on her own. “Besides, we need to get to that helicopter and keep moving.” She takes a step and grimaces, Lena’s hands hovering just behind her.

“You need to rest a minute,” Lena argues, catching Kara as her ankle almost gives out on her. She slings her good arm across her shoulders, looking the soldier in the eye. “Kara, it’s okay to rest. We have some time. Let me patch you up, and then we’ll find the keys to the helicopter.”

The blonde looks ready to argue.

“Just for ten minutes?” Lena says quietly.

Kara sags and nods. Her injuries must be a bit worse than Lena had assumed, she normally fights her a bit more on this.

They go inside the rickety barn, and Lena gets her situated on the cleanest, most sturdy chair she can find. She tries to make a bit of a show ‘looking’ for the supplies she’s already memorized the location of around the barn, and gets to cleaning and dressing Kara’s wounds.

It’s silent at first, only the sounds of Kara’s slightly labored breathing (probably a couple broken ribs) and Lena’s anxious movement around the place.

Coffee over there, pot here, water bottles in the cupboard. Stove on, the heat source right next to where Kara is sitting, keeping her warm. Lena murmurs pieces of her plan to herself as she starts putting together a quick meal for the two of them.

“What are you going to do once all this is over?” Once the water is beginning to boil, Kara starts up a conversation. And this is probably the fourth time she’s asked this question. Lena still doesn’t have a very good response. It’s hard to think of the future when you keep reliving the same horrible day over and over again.

So she doesn’t immediately reply, pulling out a box of instant coffee and pouring some into the water she’s boiled. “I’m not sure.”

Kara purses her lips. “What did you do before this?”

Lena shrugs. She picks up a mug with dubious cleanliness and pours some of the coffee in for Kara. “Nothing really important. Engineering.” Kara raises her eyebrows, clearly wanting the story, so Lena continues. “I worked with my brother at Luthorcorp. With the war, Lex had the company switch to making weapons. We were good at it, but I think I’d like to get back to creating good things instead of destructive things.”

Lena hands the mug of coffee to Kara, the blonde laughing quietly in disbelief. “I can’t believe you found coffee out here.”

“Pretty amazing, right?” Lena grins at her.

Kara nods and is about to take a sip before Lena holds up a sugar packet. “Oh, thanks.” Lena smiles at her and pours the white granules into her coffee.

She’s about to take it back when Lena stops her. “Wait, wait, you like three.” Kara stiffens as Lena turns to grab a couple more packets, pouring them quickly into the mug, muttering, “it’s three packs, I remember.”

Kara doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, and Lena is forced to look up. The playfulness is gone, the gratitude. Kara’s brow has a crinkle, and her eyes devoid of the laughter they shared just moments ago.

Back up, quick, back up. Lena inhales sharply, and stands. “There’s- uh, I think I saw a shirt over there,” she mutters, gesturing to the corner of the barn. “Might be your size. Yours is a little worn-”

“How many times have we been here?”

Kara says it so quietly she almost misses it. It’s barely a whisper, and Lena halts, fingers twitching restlessly. They’re so used to fixing things, and this situation, this whole cursed situation has completely taken that ability away from them. Turning, she sees Kara struggling to stand, coffee abandoned on the floor.

“Lena, how many times?”

“Kara-”

“Where are the keys?” Her jaw is clenched and Lena doesn’t think she’s ever seen Kara this angry.

“K-”

“Where are the damn keys, Lena?”

Lena holds up her hands in a placating gesture before hesitantly handing over the keys from her pocket. Kara snatches them up quickly, shifting her weight to stay off her left ankle.

“You know how to fly it already, don’t you?”

“No- yes, well. I’m a Luthor, of course I can fly a helicopter, but Kara-”

“What are we still doing here?” she yells, grabbing her jacket from the chair and limping towards the door.

Lena swears. “Kara- Kara wait, please- Kara, if you start that engine you’ll die!”

Kara pauses with one arm in her jacket.

“This is as far as you ever go,” she whispers, her voice catching at the end.

For a moment, it looks as though she is about to argue, to talk, just maybe Kara will listen this time.

And then she’s off, out the door. Lena stumbles after her, the blonde surprisingly quick despite her sprained ankle.

“There’s a mimic just twenty feet that way, it’ll attack as soon as you start the engine. There’s half a dozen or more alphas in the east field, please just-” Kara doesn’t stop and Lena is begging, “Please, Kara, the only thing we haven’t tried yet is if you just walk away and let me go by myself.”

Kara pulls the coverings off the helicopter blades, tossing them haphazardly onto the ground. “Get in, Lena.”

“No, please just- go wait in the farm house, please, there’s food and clothes, let me go alone and I’ll be back soon-”

“We’re soldiers, Lena. I’m a soldier,” Kara argues, defiant. “I volunteered, this is my job. Soldiers die every day. What does it matter if I die?”

There’s a beat of silence as she’s given the chance to answer. She’s never made it this far in the conversation, usually one of them is dead by now.

What should she say?

What do you say to make someone listen when they are so determined to finish their suicide mission? How do you say I love you even though you barely know me? I know you almost as well as you know yourself. I have lived this day with you over and over again and please, just this once, prove me wrong and don’t be the selfless person I know you are. Put yourself first for once.

Just this once.

Kara’s still waiting for her to say something.

“I wish I didn’t know you,” she whispers. The crinkle deepens. “Kara, I- I wish I could go back and have never met you, never got to know you. But I do. I know you, and I know this day, and I can’t save you here. If you die here, and I go on and defeat the Omega…” she sighs, closing her eyes. “You’re dead. Forever. You’re gone forever, and I can’t live with that.”

“This is our mission, Lena,” Kara says. She gets into the pilot’s seat, and slams the keys in the ignition.

In the split second after the engine sputters to a start, the entire world around Lena explodes into a flurry of noise and chaos. A mimic bursts through the fence, firing a volley at the helicopter just as Kara gets it a few feet off the ground. The explosion throws Lena sprawling into the dirt. She scrambles for purchase on the ground to pull herself up.

There’s a gun in the barn, she has to get to the gun.

She can still save Kara.

The mimic is riding the helicopter like some sort of space cowboy from hell, and Kara is yelling, trying to maintain control of the vehicle. Lena barely makes it through the door of the barn before the blades come crashing through, taking the entire wall down as the helicopter and the mimic collide with the ground.

The gun is barely in her hands before she’s firing like mad at the mimic, the backfire shaking her entire body.

She sucks in a breath and screams “Kara!”

The helicopter explodes.

Her ears are ringing and she knows she’s been flung by the explosion again. She has to get to Kara, they don’t have much time. So she pushes through the pain, through the confusion and haze, and it’s almost like walking underwater but she gets up.

She disposes of what’s left of the mimic quickly, and finds Kara prostrate on the floor not a moment after.

She’s not getting back up.

Lena falls to her knees with a sob as she takes in the damage that’s been done to Kara.

They were so close.

“Lena…”

“Yes?” Bloody fingers knit themselves between her own, and the dulling blue eyes hold her gaze for the last time.

“M- my real name-” she pauses for a rasping breath, “is Kara Zor-El.”

“Wh-”

“F-find me s-sooner, -kay?”

Lena isn’t given a chance to answer. The light leaves Kara’s eyes, and Lena is left alone in the carnage.

The rest of the mimics crash through and take her in a moment, and she doesn’t even try to fight them.

Then once again, she’s waking up handcuffed at the base.

[one-leaf-grimoire]

I hEARD EXCERPTS FROM THE GREY DEER FIC HELLO HI

Okay I will show you the rough draft of the first chapter! I need to cut out some of the exposition but it should give you a good idea of the main character’s backstory and everything. Fun fact: I created this current Grey Deer squad from scratch so there ended up being 12-13 ready-made OCs for me lol.

Warning: alcohol use because I drank for the first time in weeks yesterday and was in that mood

The Clover Kingdom is known for its balmy summers, temperate falls, and forgiving winters. I just so happened to be born in the dead center of one of those winters, on the coldest, most unforgiving night of that year. It wasn't like that made a difference, though. My mother was warm and well-cared for within our large house, heated by mountains of blankets and a crackling fireplace. She was the daughter of a wealthy landlord, and my father was born into nobility. We had it about as good as it could get.

When I was five years old, my parents took me to visit the castle for the first time. I had no idea what was going on, but it was fun to dress up in a frilly dress and be doted on by servants. We met an important-looking man and his family, which included a boy maybe 4 or 5 years older than I am. He had dark hair slicked back into a little bun, and two cold grey eyes that I could never bring myself to look into very deeply.

"So, did you like Prince Lawrence?" my mother asked me on the way home, palpable excitement in her voice. I just nodded a little as I sucked on a lollipop my father gave me to keep me occupied. The truth was, I had said maybe 2 words to the boy before avoiding him the entire time. However, my mother was pleased. "Good! It's very important that the two of you get along."

I didn't know it at the time, but as far as nobles went, we were on thin ice. My mother's once-wealthy father went out of business shortly before his death, and my father's family told him he was a disgrace for marrying into an unstable financial situation. I don't blame them for choosing the one viable way out of their situation... even if that solution ended up being none other than little ol' me. 

What was the solution, you ask?

I was to marry into the Kira family.

Lawrence Kira was a distant cousin of the king, but he was close enough to royalty that it would have us set for life. Back then, I didn't really care. It was decided long before I started to care. I was supposed to marry him when I turned 18, but that plan was postponed when I let my friend Alice convince me to take the Magic Knights Exam. I didn't really know what to expect, but my magic is as potent as it gets, despite being a "cut-rate noble," as some people called us. Lucky for me, a few captains raised their hands, and I chose the one I knew was the best.

And so, seven years later, here I am, celebrating the coming of the new year with the Grey Deer.

"Hey, you, refill my mug, will'ya!?"

I quickly push away the empty mug that's shoved into my face. "Ah, no, I'm not your servant, Nigel," I tell the boy. "I'm older than you, anyway!"

Nigel sticks out his tongue but doesn't push the subject, mostly because he's barely conscious right now as it is. Everyone's been drinking all night, but Nigel obviously doesn't hold his beer so well.

"Aww, we got a little baby, don't we!" Two of the older knights, Margery and Wren, walk over to flank the boy, who looks between them a few times. "You're 20 aren't you? I could down 20 beers in a row when I was 16!" Margery cackles cruelly. She's a beautiful woman who's usually nicer than this, but tonight seems to be making her rowdy.

"Margery, be nice," I scold lightly, being careful not to sound impertinent. She's several ranks above me, after all. However, the liquid courage is going straight to my head. "Not everyone was an alcoholic at 16!"

Wren's bloodshot eyes widen while Margery's face contorts into an over-exaggerated expression of rage. "Are you trying to insult me?!" she screeches, grabbing the collar of my cloak. I know better than to resist as she pulls me so close that she practically spits on me. "Another word, and I'll shove a thousand pearls up your little-"

"Ooh, you're gonna fight?" a booming voice calls. We both look over to see none other than Captain Hervey himself addressing us from the head of the table, sipping wine from a goblet. He's a tall man with blonde hair that spirals up in three big spikes, and a goatee that he never stops toying with. He's got a rather boorish personality, and can be accidentally mean without realizing it. It's not his fault; he's just really good an unintentionally hurting people's feelings. "Everyone, the showdown is finally happening!"

A few people hoot and holler at the announcement. We're a squad of sixteen people, yet we make this room feel like it's thronged with a huge crowd. The Grey Deer are known for their efficiency and elegance in battle, but when we're drunk we resemble the Crimson Lion Kings very closely. Sixteen people, yet not everyone is here. My friend Alice is off on patrol by herself tonight and visiting her elderly mother, so she isn't here to join in with the festivities. So, we're fifteen members tonight...

Wait. There's only 14 people here. Who's missing, other than Alice?

"Are you even listening to me?!"

I'm shaken (literally) from my thoughts by Margery and snap back to attention. "I'm your senior, and I'll fight you right now to prove it!"

"Ah! Actually, I'd rather not!" I hold up my hands to plead with her. "I don't want to use my magic inside!"

Margery practically growls like a feral animal. "Then... let's go outside!"

"Are you crazy? It's snowing cats and dogs out there," Giles, a knight who's my age and joined at the same time as me, observes. Out of the trio of me, Alice, and Giles, he's usually the more logical one. "Just settle it some other time."

It's not worth pursuing any longer, so Margery finally lets me go. "You're on thin fucking ice-" she warns me before returning to her seat. I sigh and shake my head. She's not going to remember any of this tomorrow morning anyway.

Giles sighs and takes another bite of his food. There's more than usual tonight, since it's a rare holiday and all. "How much longer until midnight?"

"Another hour." Elia, my roommate, yawns a little, gazing over at me from across the table with tired eyes. "I don't think I'm going to last that long."

"You have to! It's New Years!" Nigel insists, giggling as if he just told us the funniest joke the world has ever heard (news flash: he has not done such a thing). "It's the only time of year we can slack off like this."

"Ooh, that reminds me..." I wince before looking back up at the head of the table. The seven senior knights and the captain reserve that section for themselves, then the intermediate knights like myself get the middle section. At the opposite end is the "kids area," for all the junior knights. We have four of them right now, two of them being brand new recruits. "Captain, do we have to work tomorrow?"

"Ah... I guess you have to." There's a loud groan from all parts of the table at this news, and Hervey slams his goblet on the table loudly. "BUT! You didn't let me finish!" he roars. "You don't have to get up until 10, how's that?!" He smirks to himself as we all agree, of course. 

"Hey... let's do a game..." Nigel slurs, resting his chin on his elbow. "I'm bored."

"Fine. What game?" Giles actually looks pretty excited for once, and catches the attention of me and Elia.

Nigel grins and straightens up, holding up his hand with all five fingers up. "Never have I ever... made eyes at Vice Captain Malota."

"Oh, ewww!" We look over to see Wren wrinkling his nose. "No offense, but she has a stick up her butt all the time." Malota is a little older, but she's still pretty, with long blonde hair and icy blue eyes. Her face is very angular like a vulture, but... a sexy vulture. But Wren is right; she's a very capable woman, but she has a weird personality.

"... you got me." Giles blushes behind his glasses and puts a finger down. Both Nigel and Wren giggle at him. "Stop it! I'm sure you're crushing on someone here!"

"Me? I would never stoop that low," Wren shoots back. "Okay, okay, I got one... never have I ever broken a bone!" 

Everyone whines at the question, because of course that's happened to everyone. Everyone but Wren, apparently. He gloats to himself as we're all forced to lower a finger. "Who's next?"

"I'll go!" Elia pipes up, which is a little surprising because she's never the one to put herself out there. "Never have I ever..." She grins evilly. "Had SEX."

"oh, EW!" All the boys chorus at once, going red in the face at the sheer audacity. It’s not a very fair question, since Elia is a proud virgin for some reason. "Of ALL the immature things you could have said!" Wren objects, but puts a finger down anyway (not gonna lie... I'm kind of surprised to hear that he isn't still a virgin at 25 years old). Elia just giggles and looks pointedly at the rest of us. Nigel shrugs and puts a finger down, Giles blushes and keeps his up, and I am forced to put one down, which throws Wren into outrage once again. "WHAT?! YOU? Y-You had, you did the-"

"Yes, obviously," I snap, wishing we could just get to the next question already. "What's the big deal?"

"Aren't you engaged?" Giles asks curiously.

"First of all, that's none of your business, second of all..." I cross my arms. "Yes, I'm engaged... who do you think I did it with, dummy?"

A collective "oh" moves through our group. "That makes sense, I guess..." Wren shakes his head and sticks his tongue out at me. "Whore!"

"Shut up."

"OI! I just realized something!" Our attentions are pulled back to the head of the table, where Hervey is scowling at the empty seat to his right. "Julius... he went out for air two hours ago and still hasn't come back!!"

"What, you think he died or something?" Wren asks, shaking his head. "He's probably just got tired of us."

"Unacceptable! It's almost midnight, and my new vice captain isn't even here!?" Hervey growls. "Someone go out and get him... YOU!" I jump with fear as he points a hairy finger right at me. "Go get him! Actually, lure him in with a warm drink! It can't be fun being out in the blizzard all alone!"

I want to ask why me, but when the captain tells you to do something, you do it.

ANd that’s all I have so far. If you have any thoughts please let me know. I know there’s a disturbing lack of Julius in this excerpt but he will appear in the full chapter once it’s finished :)