#for years and years they gave us nothing to do and treated us like dirt and now theyre sad were all gone? lmao

[silverislander]

if my old church does not leave me alone :))))))) i've gotten like 3 emails abt events in the past week, one of which was a "come home for christmas" invitation addressed to me by name that i did Not like the subtext of. i haven't gone to a service for over a year and never do the events anymore, Take The Hint

[first-edition]

Bent Over

Summary- You may be Bucky’s assistant but your still is pretty wife. When the other board members take a liking to you bucky puts them in their place by showing them exactly who you belong two.

Cw- literally just smut basically, P-in-V, Unprotected, doggystyle, hair pulling, choking kink, Sargent! Authority kink, reader has long hair and wears heels, Afab reader, brief mention of drool, dirt talk, public sex, exhibitionistm kink, dom/sub, Dom!bucky, CEO!bucky, assistant reader, spanking, pet names, brief clit play, bucky fucking you raw over the meeting table with others watch. SLIGHTLY PROOF READ.

A/N this is by far the most….UNHOLY thing I’ve ever written in my 11 years of writing fanfiction and smut so i encourage you to read the content warning above and MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

ENJOY

You've worked for Bucky for hydra company since you were born. You previously worked for your father Alexander Pierce when you turned 14. But when his assistant double crossed him and killed him, that same assistant, James Buchanan Barnes took over the company at 18. At first you hated him having nothing left, not like your father was good. Of course the company should've gone to you..and well it did but at 14 years old it wasn't yours to run. 

You two would bicker and often hand in hand fight regardless of being his assistant. Many year later and many fail assanation attempts on him you married him. You've been James's assistant for 11 years, and you've been married to him for 3. Your bickering had ended in a lust induced fight that led to feeling being expressed at gunpoint then a rough night that left you partially, and deliciously crippled the next morning, which prompted Bucky to make you breakfast in bed and draw you a bath. 

Your work relationship is far different from home. At home he never lets you only want you whether that's wrapping his arms around you for a cuddle or being balls deep in your cunt. 

At work however he's the right amount of distance and so are you. It's become a mutual thing to not let anyone know in the tower that you and the big boss are married. 

You walk into the building holding a tray of coffees and an arm full of files. Your hair up in a ponytail, you wear a black knee high pencil skirt with a fairly loose but classy dark blue blouse, your black stockings paired with the jet black louis vuittons red bottoms bucky bought you last week. 

“I made the coffee run.” you say setting the tray down in the office room. 

Everyone who orders comes scrambling to their order without a thank you as usual. 

“You do a lot around her, don't you miss pierce.” you hear an older man's voice speak and you turn to see one of the board members and the other men on his team behind him. 

“Welcome Mr Cain you are early..i'll have to let mr barnes know.” you say pursing your lips in slight annoyance. 

“Yes well i'm not going to miss a chance at this pretty face now am I?” he says lifting your chin you pull away from him. 

“Excuse Me.” you say before turning back and walking down the hall area. They of course unauthorizedly follow close behind you. You stop at bucky's office doors as the desk girl presses the button allowing the doors to open you step in seeing bucky standing over to the window watching the morning view of the city as he shines up his metal hand, which your father gave him after a coup was sent on him he used bucky as a human shield. 

“Mr barnes. It appears Mr Cain has arrived early.” you says 

“Love the way you say my name sweetheart.” Cain speaks slapping your ass making you jump and wanting you punch the ever living outta him. 

“Hmm.” Bucky hums as he turns to see Mr cain. 

“Are the others here?” he asks you. 

“No sir…they will be arriving at 8. Like you asked.” you say knowing bucky will be pissed off at cain with being early and treating you as such. A small smile forming on your face. 

“You're 15 minutes early Cain. Were you offered coffee or bourbon? " Bucky says. 

“No james-” Cain begins. 

“Good.” Bucky cuts him off. He looks to you and holds out his hands for the files. You walk over to him handing them to your beloved husband. He takes a moment to look through the pages.

“Early Mr Cain but lacking in so many areas, your files aren't in the stock.” he says. 

“I had it transferred digitally.” Cain speaks proudly. Bucky tilts his head to the side slightly and nods a bit before handing the files back to you. You walk to the cabinet and bend down to sort them into the right orders. You hear a crash and a grunt knowing Cain is face down on the table and Bucky is holding him there. 

“Im old school Cain i like the files printed, i also like to be on time, not early, not late…on. Fucking. Time.” bucky huffs cain struggles against the cold black marble desk. 

“Understood?” Bucky asks. 

“Y-yes..sir..” Cain gurgles out. Bucky lets him go and stands up fixing his suit. 

“Good. I'll see you in um….10 minutes. Office room 8. y/n.” bucky says looking at you as you close the files cabinet. 

“Yes sir?” you ask completely unfazed but the situation as Cain picks himself up. 

“Send the maid in to clean up the mess and get room 8 ready for the meeting… also escort Mr Cain out and show twords the room.” he says you nod your heels clicking against the tiled floor as you walk out cain following you. 

—-------

You stand on the side of the door way welcoming the men of the board into the meeting room one by one they all join in and in some way in their own eye fuck you, or get a touch of you in some way. 

They all take their seats and bucky walks in after them. You're about to close the door when he stops you. 

“I'll need you for this one doll.” He says he never calls you his personal nickname at work. 

“S-sir?” you ask 

“Come on love.” he says, taking your hand leading you into the room. He takes a seat at the head of the table as usual and you stand beside him. 

“So I realize that we are gathered here for the section rating. How our router facilities are going and what we are going to do about the one that got taken down. Simply kill the one in charge, the router taken down, and forty the rest." Bucky begins. 

“In the budget.” someone begins. Bucky holds his hand up. 

“The budget is not the problem. The problem is that we have to much money and aren't using it to put more into the structure..but that's not the problem i want to address today no…the harassment and sexualization of my wife is getting out of hand.'' Bucky speaks and stands up pushing his chair back. 

“J-james.” you speak quietly. 

“I don't know what you men think but i think that the only one here who gets to touch her is me…don't you?” bucky speaks undoing his belt, your knees feel of jello and a shiver goes up your spine. 

Bucky pulls you to him and presses his lips to yours deeply he grips a handful of your ass before pushing you back against the table, your back laying against it he pushing up your skirt and rips open the front of your shirt. 

“I think you all need a fuckign lesson about who my assistant is and your gonna sit their like good students and fucking watch.” bucky grunts out as your laced bra is exposed he grips your neck pulling you up to him and gently takes out your ponytail letting your hair fall. 

“What do you think of these dirty old men touching you honey?” he asks you. You bite your lip making a bucky smile knowing what that does to him. 

“Your hands trails down his front to his crotch feeling the bulge already full in his pants straining against the fabric. You pull down the zipper causing him to slip out, you take him in your hand giving his length a few good strokes before he pushes back against the table he moves your panties to the side briefly only to rip them off throwing them in the room. With out warning or prep he enters you roughly you mouth falls open and a moan escapes as he begins to fuck up into you. 

“n-ngh..James.” you gasp out in pleasure. 

“Come on princess, don't hide those pretty sounds from us.” he says a violent blush fills your face but the arousal going on between your legs blurs out any embarrassment. Your husband is fucking you out silly, on the table of the meeting room infront of the entire board and you are loving every second of it. 

“Come on doll you gotta l–let em know who you belong to. You the fuck put tha pretty ring on your finger?” bucky huffs. 

“Y-you did ahh. Fu-fuck.. You did.” you maon out in fragments as he pulls you bra down exposing your tits gripping one and continuing to fuck you his thumb brushing over your hardend bud and the stimulation in you cunt is enough for you cum once. 

“F-fuck james..ah” you grip his hand as your cunt squeezes around his cock. 

“Come on love you cant keep this a secrect you fucking cumming?” he asks, already knowing the answer. 

“Y-y-yes ah..m-more please.” you ask breathlessly. He pulls out of you for a quick moment before turning you on your stomach and taking you from behind. Your nails claw at the table as he pounds into you. 

“Come on honey gotta show em your gorgeous face dont yah.” he pulls you up you back against him his left hand around your neck making your eyes roll back in pleasure and happiness on the dominance he has over you. While his other hand reaches down to your clit rubbing and playing perfectly. 

“Ah! AH” you moan out a broken gasp as your knees merge in over stimulation. 

“Come on… take it like a good girl.” Bucky groans into your ear knowing that the other men can absolutely hear him. 

Your arms reach about your head holding onto bucky as best as you can, your tits bouncing freely, men both looking away and can't take their eyes off the display right in front of them. 

“Come one baby you gonna fucking cum for me again huh?” bucky grunts. 

“Y-yes ah fuck yes.. Please i- i want it so b-bad. Please im your..ah please sargent” you beg. Bucky knowing full well he has you in the palm of his hand now with how cock drunk he's easily gotten you. 

His hold around your neck loosens and he lets you back onto the table pressing his hand onto the small of your back feeling the arch making him groan. 

“Such a good fucking girl for me huh? For everyone here being so fucking obedient.” bucky barks out sending a harsh slap on your ass for you only making  you clench around his cock. Surging pleasure though him. Skin slapping against skin as he fucks you out.

“Fuck.” he huffs. He grips your hair pulling your head back, your drunken expression facing all the men drool dripping as your tongue hangs out. The pleasurable tears stinging the sides of your eyes blurring your vision. 

“I- im gonna c-cum ah- fuck.. Please please ah..” you messily beg. 

“Come on doll cum.” he demands out from you a few more thrusts later he has you cumming for the second time. His thrusts become weaker and sloppy as he curses with a rough few thrusts in you emptying his load into your pussy filling you up. He pushes his hair back as he pulls out of you. Bucky gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before lifting you up against him your fucked you dazed happy expression is glowing for the others in the room. 

“obedience..is taught gentleman respect is earned. Any of you flaccid fucking shit faces touch her again or dare to question my authority with USLESS BOARD MEETINGS… Ill send someone to each and everyone of you and put a bullet or two right between your fucking eyes. Is that Understood?” Bucky speaks. 

“Yes sir.” they all say in broken unison. 

“Get the fuck out.” Bucky says they scramble out gathering their things and falling out the door before it's just the two of you left. You giggle out a tired giggle. 

Bucky tucks himself back into his pants, setting you down gently and brings his chair over. 

“Come here doll. You alright?” he asks you nod looking at him with lust filled eyes. 

A smile fills his face as his thumb brushes against your cheek. He sits you down in his chair. 

He takes off his jacket, placing it around you. “Come on honey imma take you home i don't think you can work today or tomorrow.” he smiles before kissing your lips. 

“W-we should do this again then yeah?” you ask as he picks you up bridal style. 

“Id be happy to fuck you infront of the presedent next week.” he chuckles. Making you laugh.

—-my requests are open—-

[warnersister]

How the Peaky boys react when you tell them you don’t want children (and they do) -> headcannon📽️🎞️

Massive TW tried to make it time accurate, ie. man gets his way girl is silenced

Tommy🪖

🪖He almost thought he hadn’t heard you. He was driving you both back from a family event in which his nieces and nephews had attended, momentarily leaving you throughout the evening to bond with the young children and get you accustomed to the toddler-side of motherhood, subconsciously assuming that you winked be pregnant with your first by the beginning of autumn this year.

🪖“So, did you enjoy spending time with the children this evening?” He asked, flicking the dead bluntness of his cigarette out of the window, satisfied with the nicotine intake he had received. “Yes they’re lovely, parents must have their hands full.” You say, agreeing with his comments on their admirability.

🪖He put his hand quite far up your thigh and smirked, taking his eyes away from the dirt road momentarily. “When would y’ like to start trying for one of us own?” He asked, expecting excitable gasps but all he could hear was a deafeningly tense silence as you almost wordlessly rejected his question.

🪖“Well?” He creased his brows. You looked away and out of the passenger reader “I hadn’t put much thought into it.” You speak small and quiet, presumably nervous to hear his response. “Well we can start trying as soon as we get home, how’s that sound?” He suggested, lightly tapping your thigh to which you squirmed in the leather seat uncomfortably. “Tommy I don’t think I want children.” The car was suddenly lurched sideways and you were grateful the road was private so your husband was unable to cause a crash. “You what?” He asked, car now stationary and his body turned towards you; understandably dominating the situation.

🪖“I don’t want to be a mother.” You say again, voice a bit more quiet this time but still trying to maintain your confidence in your decision. Tommy examined your face to try find some humour, that you were joking with him. “What do you mean you don’t want to be a mother?” “Well Ada gave me her child and I just didn’t want to hold it” “her” he corrects. “Her. I don’t have any maternal instincts I felt nothing, no admiration, no desire, no want. All I wanted was for Ada to take her baby away.” You tell him, spinning the wedding ring on your finger and biting your lips nervously. “No one knows what to do, no one knows how to handle children” he says, assuming you’re just scared “it’s normal to be scared or apprehensive. Heard that’s just a part of parenthood” he restarted the engine.

🪖“Thomas-” “we’re trying for our child when we get home and that’s final.”

Alfie🧸

🧸You owned a bakery; where you and Alfie had met - he’d walked in off the street one day and surprisingly, you must’ve been the only person in Camden not to recognise him. You’d simply greeted him with a large grin, excited to get a customer while he chatted with you and admired the adrenaline fuelled step as you dashed around your little shop - enjoying the appearance of your youth, definitely him being notable few years your senior. He’d ordered some treats, you even had some treats to offer Cyril who you’d asked wait outside for hygiene reasons. “This, yeah, this thing love, it’s bloody lovely it is… hands of an angel you have” he’d charmed, praising your baking abilities as he enjoyed your bakes. Admiring the blush on your cheeks as he serenaded you with words.

🧸He’d left that day leaving you with a sum heftier than the goods had actually been valued at and promised to return. And return he did, every day without fail at 10 in the morning to treat himself and his pup, offering reiteratively to teach you to make some Jewish deserts as the religious population in London was growing. Until the day you’d agreed, both in the back while you were simultaneously running out to greet customers and back to Alfie. You were kneading dough when you heard the bell chime “you’ve really gotta get your fingers in love, yeah, I’ll show you yeah” and he’d towered over you from behind you guide your hands through the mixture. Then a baby’s cry. “I’ll be back.” You say, hurrying out to greet your guest.

🧸A woman stood with a newborn in pram, looking over your selection. The baby wailed. “Can I help you lovely?” You asked with a gentle smile, not noticing Alfie leant against the doorway behind you, sleeves rolled up and caked in flour as he watched you engage with the customer. “Yes, I’d like-” the baby cried louder “erm” she was evidently frantic, opting to pick the baby up and try to sooth him.

🧸“Oh im sorry i cant think straight.” She apologised, cringing at the noise from the baby. You inhaled, not believing what you were about to do. “How about you pick something, and eat it in and I’ll hold him for you to give you a rest.” You suggested and he nodded almost too quickly. Choosing a dessert and you swapped the sweet treat for money and the babe.

🧸You bounced the young child on your hip as he cooed, enamoured by the new face and was now too distracted to cry. The mother relaxed into a chair in front of the counter and savoured the moment of peace, eventually taking the sleeping boy back and leaving incredibly grateful, Alfie almost unable to contain his love protruding from his chest as you turned back around to continue baking. “Back to work” you joked, walking past him to continue on the dough.

🧸“You’d be a great mummy, y’know sweetness?” He muttered, suggestively. You huffed slightly. “Perhaps” your lips pursed and he stopped you kneading. “What’s ’perhaps’ mean, poppet?” He asked you. “Well I just don’t think I want to be a mum.” The man laughed, assuming you were joking. “What do you mean you don’t want to be a mum? I’m getting old now treacle, I’ve not much time left to have little ones and I’d want them to be yours.” He said, holding your hands in his as you refuse to meet his pleading eyes. “Maybe. Not yet.” You mumble, trying to return to work.

Arthur🍺

🍺Arthur had Finn on his shoulders, drunk off his head as he happily paraded his young brother around the Garrison as the party of success roared, Arthur having one too many to drink and now easily excitable.

🍺Finn was happily playing along, bouncing on his brother’s shoulders and clapping to the music drowning out in the background, enjoying the attention he was receiving from the majority of the pub’s inhabitants. Arthur saw you watching the ordeal, bounding over to you to plant a smiley kiss on your lips and you reach up to ruffle Finn’s hair, hidden under your husband’s cap.

🍺“Could have one just like this, what d’ya say love?” He asks, grinning ear to ear but expression faltering when he saw the distaste written all over your own face. He gently took Finn off his shoulders who ran over to John, who processed to spin the body around - scolded by his own wife for nearly pulling the undeveloped youth’s arms off his body.

🍺“Our own little one?” Arthur suggests. You shake your head, small smile. “Not when you keep coming home in a state like this.” You say and his face drops entirely now, sobering up enough to understand the ultimatum you were offering him.

🍺“I will not have children when you come home every day too drunk to think. I will not let our child see his mother carry his father up the stairs because he forgot how to use his own two legs.” You say, pecking your husband’s cheek and offering a disappointed smile before you wondered off to find Polly.

🍺Arthur pondered your words for a moment, before pulling you and grabbing you back towards him, falling to his knees as he promised for stay sober, to get off the drink, he just wanted you to bear him a child.

John🥃

🥃You and John had just gotten married, a marriage you were both unaware of until you were knelt at the alter but still - the two of you had just gotten married and the wedding bells were playing. Neither of you could say you were annoyed with the outcome of this arrangement, neither finding the other unattractive and prepared to attempt to progress in this diversion of your lives.

🥃The reception was a grand festivity, dancing, drinking, celebrating and toasting to the pact and ceasefire between two rivalling families with conflicts decades old. You and John had your dance, him whispering sweet nothings into your ears as if he’d known you all him life and you’d just giggled and blushed and required his advanced with a giddy look upon your faces - like two teenagers in love.

🥃As the evening died down and you’d been escorted to your shared accommodation to last you the night, you finally had a moment of peace and clarity to be able to come to terms with the events of the day, after all, a mere 24 hours ago you were a single maiden merely dreaming of your eventual wedding to a man you’d become enamoured with someday, not a gangster peace pact, but there you stood; having assistance unzipping your dress from your husband John Shelby.

🥃He kissed along your shoulders, to your neck, spinning you around to eventually kiss your lips and continue to consummate your marriage. “How many kids you thinkin’ the ? Five? Ten?” He asked as you lay naked in his arms, a hand drawing gentle cyphers into your skin. “None.” You whisper and his drawings halt and he pulls away from you slightly to be able to look right at you. “That’s not gonna work w’me love. Wanna be dad.” He said, studying the expression on your face. “It’s not that I don’t want to be a mum,” you say - averting his gaze but he caught your chin and drew you back to be unable to look anywhere but him. “But,” he encouraged you to continue. “But my grandmother died in childbirth, as did my own mother. And my sister is coming to the end of her pregnancy and it isn’t looking positive for her either. I don’t want to leave my children without their mummy and my husband without a wife.” You almost whisper, voice cracking as tears gathered in your eyes. John drew you in to offer you a tight and reassuring embrace. “Is it hereditary?” He asked after a while and felt your head shake against his bare torso. “I don’t know. Either genetic or just bad treatment.” You stay in silence for a moment.

🥃“But I’d be willing to try if being a dad means that much to you.” You say, peering up to your new husband whose eyes soften at the admittance. “Well I’ll tell you what, if it was bad treatment no woman of mine would lift a finger while pregnant. You’d stay in bed and I’d cater to your every need, carry you to wherever you need to go. Pay for the best doctor and the best hospital to make sure my woman and my child both leave the hospital alive and well.” He leant his forehead against yours. “I’ll take good care of you if you let me.”

Bonnie🥊

🥊Bonnie always wanted to be a father. Be a dad. Raise his children the true gypsy way with his wife by his side - let them in the audience when they’re old enough to appreciate his fights, falsely tussle with them and let them win as he begged them for mercy and heard their victorious giggled. Oh he couldn’t wait for the day you’d bear his umpteenth child. That day couldn’t come soon enough.

🥊And when he joined the Blinders, he’d fallen head over heels for the young florist who worked tirelessly across the road from the Garrison, carrying Arthur home as Harry locked up shop and he’d still see you working on a bouquet you’d needed for a client the following day. He admired your work ethic and the old fashioned part of him couldn’t help but imagine you working as furiously in a kitchen while you tickled your children for interrupting your cleaning. You’d make a fine wife in his eyes.

🥊And against no wish of his own, one day Isaiah had forced the young lad into the shop with a laugh and you’d peered up at him form over the counted, cutting the final stem off of the roses you were working on before asking how you could be of assistance and you’d be lying if your breath hadn’t caught in your own throat, also - seeing him to-ing and fro-ing from the Garrison with the rest of those Blinder lads and finding his look rather endearing.

🥊“How can I help you?” You asked with a stressed but gentle expression on your face. “How much do you make an hour?” He asked. “I beg your pardon?” You retort, eyebrows creasing at the nerve of the man and you began to question whether your initial judgement was correct.

🥊“Sorry, no, I meant how much would it cost me to steal you for a few hours for a date without you loosing profit?”

🥊And the rest was history.

🥊He’d taken you to his fights, to restaurants, to his home with the travellers, even to a couple of family meetings as you’d already been acquainted with the Shelby men buying apology flowers for their spouses for coming home battered and bruised with no contact for a few days.

🥊It was a Tuesday, business was slow but you still had a few orders to finish and being not-bust himself, Bonnie was there to offer a helping hand to his lady. The door chimed but you couldn’t see anyone, confused; you leant over the counter to see a young boy, no older than seven stood there. “Please may I have a flower for my mummy? She’s very sad.” The boy pouted. You hummed. “What flower would you like to give your mummy?” The boy reached into his pocket and pulled out two coins, a button and some lint “whatever flower this may get me, if you please miss.” You nod and hand the boy a small bouquet of daisies with a bow to hold them together. The lad grinned and thanked you, offering you his pocket change and you shook your head. “All you owe me is your mummy a smile.” You say and he promises, running back out of the shop.

🥊Bonnie came up and hugged you from behind, leaving a long kiss on your cheek. “You’re awfully good with children, darling girl” he compliments and you scoff. “Yeah sure.” You roll your eyes and go back to your previous activity. And Bonnie’s dream world came crashing down around him as he realised your intentions.

🥊“What? Don’t want little ones?” He asked, keying as to why you’d be unable to offer him an heir. “No because I can’t deal with sick, I can’t deal with whining, I can’t deal with crying and I can’t even take care of myself for crying out pigs. How do I take care of a child?” You shake you head, as if the man was daft.

🥊“But with our child, it would be different.” He says and you look up at him noting the sincerity and desperation in his look. “Maybe when we’re married or something.” You disregard. He shakes his head. “Why not now?” “I have a flourishing business and I’m not just leaving it all to be a wife and mother and traveller.” You say, inhaling sharply and he frowns. You will come around eventually. He bargains with himself mentally.

Isaiah♟️

♟️You and Isaiah were upstairs in the Shelby household, getting a few moments of blissfulness together before the rest of your family returned. Especially your twin Finn, who was still unknowing about the blossoming relationship between you and Isaiah.

♟️Isaiah was kissing all up your body, a starved man delving hungrily at his first meal in weeks, leaving piercing bite-sized bruises in places for his eyes only. Places he’d see when he’d draw you a bath after you’d finished doing the Devil’s bidding in your frequenting sinful tango.

♟️The boy thrust into you at a desperate pace, eager to fuck you out in a matter of minutes and prove just how desperate you could be for him, just how quickly he could make you cum under the pressure from his cock and his thumb rubbing quick circles around your clit, mouth silenced by his own as he kissed you passionately.

♟️He pulled back, clawing his fingers into your hips as though you were trying to get away from him - but if anything you were trying to get closer, go reach that release you so desperately craved. “Going to fuck my baby into you. Fill you full with my child.” He promised, thrusting deep and skilfully. You shook your head. “No Isaiah.” His pace didn’t falter but he looked up at you, grabbing your jaw and squeezing your cheeks as if fucking you dumb. “No?” “No.” You say between smushed cheeks. “Don’t want no kids.”he chuckled. “Too late.” And he continued working on his promise, and you were too high on pleasure to argue any further but when he came inside you it seemed all to real, his hand over your mouth to stifle your cries as you came all over him and him inside you.

♟️“Isaiah I don’t want children.” You say in tears, trying to catch your breath but his weight on top of you was too much and he was still buried too deep, desperate not to waste a drop.

♟️“You’ll bare my children whether you like it or not, doll.” He says, stroking your cheek. “Then they’ll have to let me marry you, won’t they?”

Michael🎱

🎱Michael loved parading his fiancée. He’d proposed in a place so public, so romantic, so endearing… how could you ever say no to your charming Michael?” The rock on your finger was substantial despite the promise you’d made him make to not waste his money on some piece of jewellery, but he’d argued that piece of jewellery showed what was his so he’d have to make his as obvious as possible.

🎱And one afternoon he’d found himself free from any Blinder work, able to take you out and dined you at the finest afternoon tea he could find, drinking as his hand lay comfortably on your thighs as you engaged in wholesome chatter about your future together. Discussing a home in the country, him leaving the family business or at least doing the work needed to be done in the green hills of the Peak District.

🎱“-and you’ll make a lovely mother-” he continued but you stopped him “wait, mother?” You cut him off and he nods, nearly confused. “Well yes. Once we get married you’ll leave your job and I’ll lay for that pretty little house you want and you’ll cook and clean and you’ll bare my children.” He instructed, as if reeling off some old fashioned fairytale his adoptive mother had told him of as a child.

🎱“Michael I don’t want to be a mother.” You say, nearly afraid of him. “Well we can start small. Have one and then we can decide how many more we want from there.” “And if I don’t want more” “then we’ll settle with a son. Raise him.” “And what if it’s a daughter?” You ask. “See.” He grits his teeth. “Already thinkjng about gender. You obviously care. You’re just scared.” “Michael-” “you are my woman. You will bare my children and do your duty as a lady. End of discussion.”

Finn🎞️

🎞️Finn was head over heels in love with you since you’d started working at the Garrison that one evening in late June. Harry had hired you after you’d lied about your age, and at this point you’d guessed he’d figured it out by now: he was a smart man, but you’d ran away from home and this job was the only form of income or stability you had supporting you and this crumbing life you were trying to withhold. Well, that and Finn’s arm constantly around your waist - ignoring your numerous rejections until eventually managing a date with you.

🎞️The young Shelby smirked at you from across the room, enjoying the sight of you limping around the bar - sore from last night antics. You were staying with the Shelby family, in Finn’s room, where he was determined to take your virginity and bed you in some dark, twisted fantasy. Pump you with his heir so you couldn’t deny him once more, plus the thought of you plump with a child was mouthwatering and he couldn’t wait to see it.

🎞️You’d started the evening quickly, desperate to rip each other’s garments of and clothes pray after you’d sinned to the devil, advocating for his anti-christian tango as Finn fucked you fast into the sheets. You’d done it iteratively, falling asleep only to be woken up by the boy kissing down your back only to lazily thrust into you again with tired eyes. He’d done it three or four times, until the morning when you’d woken up, his cock still buried deep in your velvety walls, a mixture of both of yours productions pooling onto his bed as he tried to act as a cork to not waste a drop of his productivities.

🎞️So he thoroughly enjoyed the sight, and the falsely-annoyed side glances you’d shoot his way when you were presented with the opportunity.

🎞️It wasn’t out of the ordinary to see new faces in the garrison, well they came every day; whether they be travellers passing through Birmingham or illegal businessmen there to drink and tussle before being thrown out. It was a nightly occurrence. And you expected nothing less this evening.

🎞️It was eight o’clock in the evening on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffling in other than the Shelby family who had already been seated an hour prior. “What’re you drinking?” An unidentifiable voice asked and you spun go see a man you didn’t recognise, age substantially your senior as he grinned rotted teeth at you.

🎞️“I’m not drinking. I’m serving, however may I offer you Shelby Gin?” You offer, trying to be polite. “I’ll take whatever you’d recommend. I’ll have you if you’re on the menu.” You grimace and poor him a glass, attempting to move on with your shift, unbeknownst to your dance partner seething with rage at the conversation and seeing red fury at a man trying to converse with a Shelby reserved girl.

🎞️He’d asked for a refill, and when you were topping up his drink, he’d reached across the bar to grab your bosom. And before you’d managed to fathom the situation, Finn had lurched across the room and tackled the man, who was laying on the floor clutching his bloodied, broken nose adjacent to Finn who’s knuckles were bruised and dirtied. “How dare you fucking touch her? Touch my pregnant missus? I’ll fuckin’ kill you, y’piece of shit.” And after a few more rough punches and kicks the man was kicked out into the blistering cold of a harsh Birmingham winter, Finn rounding the bar to hug you and calm down slightly.

🎞️Soon everyone was congratulating your pregnancy and asking when the wedding was and after a while you’d managed to pull Finn to the side and question these praises “why did you say I was pregnant? I’m not. And even if I was you know my views, I’m not keeping it.” “I had Polly read your leaves when you had tea this morning. Fucked ya again and again to make sure of it. You ain’t leaving me when you’re pregnant and you certainly ain’t killing my child.” He said, kneeling to kiss your stomach with an evil glint in his eye.

[puff0o0]

tw; basic cod blood, loss of mother (ghost's mom) (dw he gets comfort)

The lieutenant was not used to being treated with nothing but tender care and love.

His days were filled with war and nothing but blood and murder of his fellow soldiers, soldiers who he had considered brothers and sisters and gave everything to in order to keep them safe.

He watched a lot of them go down, only to be replaced by a new recruit with only the honorable memories left to commemorate them in the afterlife. He didn't cry nor did he dare ahow a frown at their funerals, wanting nothing more than to celebrate their lives.

The act of honor and bravery they showed on the battlefield in their day to day life was what he wanted to keep in his mind

And yet this only taught him to stay away when it came to getting too close.

Keep a comfortable distance at hands length

Let them get close enough to think they know you but not close enough to see the real you

But you took his hand and kissed it, holding it tightly and allowing your warmth to implant itself into his cold, scarred hands and go through his body, weaving itself into his heart.

It burned away all the dirt and grime that mad raise soul unsightly

Your hands then moved to his cheeks, holding them so gently as if he was a bottle that was about to break if you held him wrong for even a second.

His eyes in pain as he looked at your beautiful and beaming face, your smile being one that could be compared to the beauty of the ocean.

A deep and beautiful look on the outside with horrors and fantasy hidden beneath it

Yet despite your own problems you looked out for him, you showed him he could be vulnerable around you.

You let him vent and rant when he was able to gain the confidence to let you into the mountains that he put in between everyone else

You let him be distant when it were those bad days where he couldn't be around anyone in fear of snapping at them or taking things the wrong way

You let him be him.

You never tried to fix him or change him for the 'better'

You reminded him that he was loved, that he was cared for, that he was seen.

Your eyes were like his mother's

Caring, gentle, soft.

The only part of his childhood that was worth living through again, a part that he wished he could see one last time before his mother had left and disappeared. He missed her more than anything and you knew it.

Thats why you stayed next to him while he talked to her on her grave, saying happy birthday to her as if she was there physically and thanking her for creating Simon. Squeezing his hand as he talked to her for emotional support, knowing that it only got harder for him as the years went on.

Even though it was a somber moment, you somehow made it manageable.

Your comforting smile, tender touch, loving eyes

Simon couldn't help but fall deeper in love as he watched you talk to her, doing it to make him happy and feel better. It warmed his soul more than anything to be by you on her birthday.

You were an angel, his angel.

[sidthedollface2]

A Crown fit for a God (Part 4)

Part 3

Pairing: Azriel x Fem Reader

Ch Summary: A glimpse into how you stumbled upon The Autumn Court, your relationship with Eris and how you fell into Luciens bed.

And/or

Azriel’s jealousy might destroy any chances he has in getting close to you.

word count: 7.4k

Series warnings: 18+ MDNI, SMUT, angst, hurt/comfort, war, including injuries, fighting, no use of y/n, nicknames, magic, greek mythology, pining, jealousy, soft Az with a little temper, azriel with other women (sorry), reader with another man (get it friend ; )

A/n: this ch is heavy on the Vanssera brothers but Az does help you towards the end. I'm a daydreamer not a writer so if you see any mistakes that's how I dreamt it. Lol

It was dark when you arrived in the Autumn Court, a blazing phoenix from the sky. Your limbs felt foreign, heavy and unstable like a newborn fawn. Rustling of leaves echoed in your new ears, startling you briefly. Your skin felt unbelievably warm despite the wind chapping your flushed cheeks. This new place had a smell of sulfur and wood. Burning wood. No. Burning flesh. A cough erupted from you as you risked breathing in the air. Your lungs expand with every inhale, followed by another violent cough.

A feminine voice called out to you ‘child open your eyes.’ The darkness soon vanished as shades of orange and amber filled your vision. You sat in the middle of scorched grounds, a ring of fire surrounding you with flames too high to jump over. Your arms and legs blackened from ash and dirt. The ends of your hair burned from the impact along with the threads covering your small frame. A lovely woman stood on the other side of the ring of fire. Panic and wonder in her green eyes, you assume directed at you. She's speaking to you in a language you recognise, but unable to voice your response.

With a wave of her hand she motions you to follow her. Standing on wobbly legs, weak and malnourished from your journey, you stumble towards her. Through the high flame you emerge, unburnt and to her surprise uninjured. “Come inside child. Let's get you bathed and safe,” she insists, wrapping you in her warm words and caring eyes. She introduces herself as Marrian, The Lady of Autumn, wife to Lord Beron of the Autumn Court. You told her your name as well but she quickly decided to keep your true identity a secret and gave you an alias instead. She explains that this cabin is a refuge for her and her eldest son Eris, though his visits have become scarce. After you've bathed and your body temperature has returned to normal, neither hot nor cold, she offers you a warm meal and insists you stay the night.

Throughout the years living in the small cabin became your home. Lady Autumn treated you like the daughter she never had. She taught you how to wield your fire magic and it was through that training that you both discovered you possessed more than just fire. You were omnipotent. Unlimited power surged through your veins just as it had before you fell into these lands. She had warned you, begged you to never show your true powers.

Males of this world were ruthless, lords and kings would take and take till you were nothing but ash beneath their boots. You found out how evil lords could be when Lady Autumn returned to the cabin. Her pale skin littered with purple and blue bruises. Dried blood caked her knees and elbows. Her oldest son Eris carried her to bed, teary eyed and blood stained as well. “I promise I'll kill them all.” Eris' voice cracked as he said those words, his mothers broken body haunting him, leaving a bitter taste of his family in his mouth. He’d do anything for her, even killing his own father for her safety. It wouldn’t be easy killing his father or his brothers. The high lord had an army at his disposal and if any of his brothers suspected Eris was the reason for their fathers untimely death, he’d be killed. And by default his mother as well. “I promise I’ll help you,” you added with fire in your eyes and revenge in your blood. “ A bargain then,” he confirmed. Death was coming for them. Death was here.

Many moons ago

You had met all of Lady Autumn's sons but only one really stood out to you. At least only one you wanted to know on a deeper level. Lucien. He had a way with words that was kind yet sarcastic and witty. His humor being the reason your cheeks always tinted the deepest red. He was incredibly handsome, tall and lean and to your surprise so much warmer than the other brothers. It was warm out when Mirrian requested for her carriage to be well equipped for her outing to the farmlands, where she’d try her way to ease the stressed farmers. This brought you to the outer stables, where the horses were being prepped for their journey. Immediately you took sight of Lucien, a worried look on his brow as he paced back and forth, biting his lips raw. “Lucien? Is everything alright?” you questioned, concern in your tone as you approached him.

Lucien immediately straightened, “Oh it’s nothing to worry yourself over, just…..I promised a friend one of Mist’s foals and it seems neither will make it.” Mist was the mare to Eris' Stallion, Blue. They had bred them as both were of a champion line, hoping to strengthen the lineage. Just as you were going to reply a young stable boy rushed towards Lucien, breathless with how quick he was running, “She’s passed Lord, the foal too I’m afraid.” Lucien sighed as he looked to the ground, a look of sadness on his face. “Perhaps I could help?” Both Lucien and the young boy looked at you with bewilderment. “Don’t be silly, the boys are more than strong enough to dig-”

“I don’t mean to bury them, Lucien.” You looked to the boy then, “take me to them please.” The young boy looked to Lucien for approval and with a nod you both followed. Lucien trailed behind you, letting his eyes admire you without your knowledge. At one point his step fell in sync with yours. His arms swung with each step, often grazing his hand with yours. Each touch earns a flush to your cheeks paired with a shy smile. Lucien takes notice and in an act of courage takes your small hand within his, lacing your fingers together.

The stable is set up in rows, where each stall is supplied with straw bedding for comfort, fresh clean water and auto feeders. Lucien placed his hand at the small of your back, gently guiding you to Mists’ stall. Her and the foal were laying still among the straw bedding, their eyes closed like if they were just sleeping. Kneeling beside Mist, you began to pet her silky golden mane.

Since arriving in Autumn you hadn’t used this particular power, its presence slowly dissipating. You often wondered if you still had it. You gave her a gentle kiss along her muzzle, the first step to bringing her back. Lucien and the boy stared in awe, not quite sure what to make of your actions. You then brought your hands to cup over your nose and mouth, breathing into them the air from your lungs. The same air that you hope would work its way into Mist. With your breath trapped between your palms you began pumping your palms together like the thump thump of a beating heart. For each 3 pumps you’d rub your hands together, creating a spark of blue dazzling light.

Lucien gasped as he witnessed the light orb grow bigger and bigger until it was the size of Mists heart. He wondered what words you spoke into the orb as it grew and grew, he’d have many questions for you after this. Questions he’s not sure he was ready to hear. Once the ancient words were spoken into the orb you held it gently in your hands, its glow reflecting off your galaxy eye.

Lucien took notice that throughout this whole experience both your eyes had changed to the colors of the night sky, shades of blue and violet mixed with sparkling starlight. Perhaps your pale eye had other uses as well. With one hand you carried the orb towards Mists’ chest, right where her heart lay still. And the other hovering over her head. You looked to Lucien and the young boy, “no sudden movements, and please cover your ears.”

Lucien's brows furrowed in question, but he did as you requested. So did the boy.

Once you saw that their ears were covered you spoke the following words and hoped that your primordial power was still alive.

“I am Khaos, creator of the abyss and all that the sun touches. Death has taken your hand but I hold onto the other, for your journey has not ended. Hold onto me like the night holds the moon, and I’ll light your way.”

The orb held in your hand suddenly let out a flash of light so bright it could illuminate up the night sky. The light flickered after that intune to the rhythm of a beating heart. Lucien's eyes almost fell from their sockets as he saw what looked like electrical current coming from your fingertips, sending a signal to Mists head, to her brain. Lucien hesitantly looked away from your magical hands and his gaze landed on your beautiful face. Your brows were furrowed in deep concentration, sweat began to trail along your hairline. Your eyes remained open, the galaxy within them orbiting like the earth revolves around the sun. He could tell something was amiss because your jaw was clenched tight and the force you were using to push the light inside her heart was visible in the tremble of your arms.

Dark heavy clouds had covered the blue sky, bringing a violent wind to blow across the Court. Its roar slammed into the high trees and rattled everything in its wake. You had tried with all your might to push the light orb into the horse's chest to revive her heart, but Death was fighting back. You were fighting back. A battle between life and death when you possessed the power of both. Your Life power was taking the backseat as Death became the forefront. Suppress. You needed to suppress that deathly power. A deafening clap of thunder boomed through the stable; blanketing your scream that ripped from your throat as you forcefully shoved the glowing ball of light into Mists’ chest.

Lucien cradled your weak body as you collapsed from the energy you had expelled. “Mother above!” the boy gasped, “she did it Lord. Her chest rises.” Lucien stared at Mist’s chest as she inhaled and exhaled. “Listen to me boy,” Lucien spoke sternly, “you will not speak of what you saw here or I’ll turn you to ash. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I understand. Not a word.”

“I’ll reward you for your silence, now go.” Lucien tilted his head towards the wide doors, signaling for the boy to leave.

His gaze traveled back to you, pulling your body closer as if you’d suddenly disappear. He studied the features of your beautiful face in awe. With a feather light touch he traced over your eyebrow, down the apple of your soft cheek, and over the cute slope of your nose. His thumb gently pulled at your bottom lip, and he wondered how soft your lips would feel against his. It had been easy to fall for you, your heart too pure and kind. Tending to his mothers wounds and encouraging Eris to be better. A better male compared to Beron and his cruel brothers.

Lucien leaned in, his breath fanning over your lips, inching closer. The tickle of his breathing caressed your eyes open, taking in the handsome man holding you, his warm hand cradling the side of your face. “You're incredible,” he whispered, nothing but wonder in the way he was looking at you. Your lips parted in a wide smile as you bathed in his praise. He was the most beautiful male in all of Autumn, and you wanted him, needed him in ways that made you blush. Lucien noted your longing and decided now more than ever that he wanted you too. Without another thought he crashed his lips to yours, groaning into your mouth as you swiped your tongue along his bottom lip. He kissed with the hunger of a thousand wolves, nipping and grabbing at exposed flesh. He wouldn't have you in the stable, where anyone could watch. “I need you now sweetheart,” he growled, as he lifted your body in his arms, whisking you away to his bed chambers in a smoke cloud of orange and gold. It was true what you had heard.

The males of Autumn did have fire in their blood, at least Lucien did. When you told him you had never laid in another males bed before, he slowed down his hunger to devour you. He took things slow at first, stretching you open with his fingers as he peppered kisses and lapped at your clit till you were a withering mess beneath him. When he finally sheathed himself inside you, his length stretching you deliciously- Lucien knew this wouldn't be a one time thing, couldn't be.

What was once friendly chatter and shy glances quickly turned into a romantic whirlwind of horse rides and stolen kisses. Giggles under his sheets as he blew raspberries on your soft stomach. ‘I love you’ whispered in heavy breaths every time he felt you flutter around his cock. Lucien was adamant in keeping the relationship a secret, afraid of what his brothers or Beron would subject you to if they knew. It didn't matter in the long run, all it took was one dinner for the fairytale to come crumbling down.

~~~~~~~

You were allowed in the forest house as Lady Autumn’s ‘Lady in waiting.’ your role was to accompany her wherever she went, and assist her in daily activities. She had introduced you as “Khaos” which quickly turned to “Aos” over time. An orphan to a High Lord from across the continent she claimed. It was all lies.

This role gave you the chance to map out all entries and exits of the forest house, familiarize yourself with all the guards and what times their rotation were to occur and even where Lord Berons bed chambers were. You noted his schedule from early morning till late evenings. Eyes aware of his house guests and sometimes the topic of conversations. No other guest shocked you as much as when the entire Autumn line found themselves seated next to the King of Hybern. You sat between Eris and Lady Autumn, a rare occurrence to be invited to sit with the family. Lucien decided to sit across from you, to not strain his neck while he admired your beauty in comfort, his other brothers followed suit. At the head of the table, Lord Beron and the King of Hybern sat at opposite ends, showcasing their importance and power even at dinner.

Beef ragout and cheese souffle were passed around in the finest flatware. The flame from the candlesticks placed in the center of the table gave off a warm light, casting Lucien in a God-like glow. For a moment you imagined it was just the two of you, enjoying a night out for the world to see. “Try the grey stuff” Eris spoke from your left, spooning into the pudding like substance. Surely he wouldn't attempt to feed…

Lucien's eyes widened slightly as Eris brought the spoon to your lips. There were too many eyes for him or you to make a scene, so instead he looked away as you parted your lips for the delicious treat. It was an honest mistake humming around the spoon as the flavor melted in your mouth, a sweet sound noticed by Eris as he gently thumbed at the corner of your mouth. Wiping away the frosting that was never there to begin with. Lucien had been looking down and didn’t notice the intent behind the action but apparently Lord Beron did.

“Seems like you’ve caught my son's eye, little one. I wouldn't object to a courtship.” Your gaze quickly went to Lucien, had they known of your relationship? Was that why you were invited to dinner, to finally let the secret be known? You were about to respond when Beron addressed his son, “Eris do you find this female attractive enough to bed?”

“Father!” It was Lucien who interrupted, “surely this conversation isn't appropriate for the dinner table?” Lucien attempted to steer away from the current conversation, anger slowly bubbling to the surface. You remained planted in your seat as everything unfolded before you. Being a female in Autumn where even if you voiced your choice in Lucien, you had no right to even speak on the matter. The females were to marry, obey their male partner and breed an army of children if her husband wished. Since the High Lord mentioned it, then his word was law. You’d be tortured if you went against his wishes, Lucien would be beaten for even suggesting the lack of appropriateness of the conversation. Your gaze landed on Lady Autumn, a silent plea for help in your eyes. She merely smiled, squeezing your hand in comfort. You realize there was nothing she could do, as her makeup barely covered a fading bruise beneath her eye. It wasn’t that Eris had been terrible to you, quite the opposite. He just wasn’t the male you had fallen in love with.

“I do find her desirable, and I would be honored to court her.” Eris’s amber eyes met yours, a look that meant he was sorry for the circumstance the both of you were in. “A toast then,” the King of Hybern stood, “ to the happy couple.” He cheered, raising his glass in the air before he threw his head back, downing the flute of wine.

The High Lord followed as well as Eris and his brothers, leaving you, Lady Autumn and Lucien to stare at each other in trepidation. Lucien was going to be sick, his skin had paled at the thought of you producing an heir for his brother. Eris hands all over your soft skin, how dare he desire what belonged to him. Lucien's jaw was clenched so tight he was going to crack a molar. Unable to voice his anger or pull you away to keep you safe, he stood, shooting daggers dipped in faebane at everyone but you. You stared at your lover as he drank from the flute in one fluid motion.

Blinking back the tears as he threw his head back. His eyes met yours once again, red rimmed pools of honey ready to overflow from heartbreak. You were unable to mask the pain you were in as easily as Lucien. It occurred to you that perhaps he meant more to you than you did to him. With a heavy heart you brought your flute up to your lips, and a lonely tear tracked down your cheek. You didn’t want this life. You didn’t want to be a Death God. You didn’t want to marry Eris. You didn’t want other people making decisions for you. You didn’t want to be forced. Yet you agreed, there was no other way.

“Tears of happiness no doubt,” Eris cooed, gently wiping at the tears that followed after the first. Lucien had never looked at his brother with such raging hatred as he did now. Eris wrapped his arm around your waist, settling his hand on your hip as he tugged you close enough to kiss your temple. His gaze trained on Lucien for a hint of a reaction. Lucien swore he saw Eris smirk.

You didn’t stay long enough for dessert, opting to be alone with your thoughts. Walking aimlessly through the halls of the forest house, you didn't attempt to wipe your tears. There was no point in hiding how hurt you were, no reason to put on a brave face. You passed through a stone archway that led to a balcony, overlooking the canopy of trees that fill the forest floor. Autumn was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the stars that littered the night sky. The stars didn’t shine as bright in Autumn, they looked dull and sparse. Not at all what they looked like from home. You missed home, the space beyond the stars.

Hushed whispers floated to your ears and you quickly hid behind the stone railing that curved the space of the balcony. “- we were able to modify vegetables and fruit with faebane. The results were successful in potency and effectiveness. We can use these samples in farmlands for mass production, and give high doses of faebane through modes of consumption without the individual's knowledge.” You could recognize Lord Berons voice even though he whispered. “Once we remove the Night Court's High Lord the rest will fall.”

You attempted to peek over the railing, needing to know who he was speaking to, who else you needed to kill. “You’ll become High King of Prythian and keep your title as King of Hybern.” It couldn't be, you felt panic rising up your throat. The King of Hybern and Lord Beron in an alliance? You needed to tell Eris. Your bargain to assist Eris in killing Autumn's High Lord just became more difficult.

Quickly trekking back through the halls you found yourself in front of Eris bed chambers. You knocked softly at his door, hoping he’d still be awake at this time of night. Shuffling on the other side. you heard him near. Opening the door with a soft click, “what do I owe the pleasure?” he purred as he stared down at you. His chest was completely exposed, toned with a light dusting of freckles, similar to Lucien. Your eyes traced down his carved abs, noticing his narrow hips and how dangerously low his night pants hung. You averted your eyes, focusing on the slight curve of his mouth instead. “I have something to tell you..In private, please.” You don’t know why you were suddenly nervous in front of the princeling. “Is everything alright?” he asked with softness in his tone as his back pressed against the door frame, leaving just enough space for you to squeeze by. Still facing the future Heir you walked over the threshold, your chest grazing his warm body as you slid into his room. Eris' head thumped against the frame, ‘control yourself’ he thought, as the brush of your breasts along his chest had left him breathless.

Explaining in full detail what you heard between The King and Lord Beron took longer than anticipated. Eris took every bit of information and wrote down possible outcomes and strategies to counter the mass production of faebane. On top of killing his father another player had entered the game and now Eris' work to bring down his father had doubled to now needing to bring The King of Hybern down as well.

Eris didn’t know how long he stayed hovered over his desk, but when he finally turned towards his bed and noticed your sleeping form, dawn was fast approaching. He didn’t have the heart to wake you, opting to cover your body with his warm sheets. He had no problem sleeping on the couch, respecting you enough to not join you in bed. He’d fallen asleep at the sound of your soft breathing, the sweetest lullaby to grace his ears.

It had been mid day when you both greeted the high sun, bashful in the position you were in. You apologized profusely for falling asleep in the Heirs bed. But he simply waved you off, “nonsense Fawn, what kind of male would I be to rush you off in the middle of the night?” Your cheeks flushed at the pet name as Eris opened the door to his bedroom, letting you pass by easily. You turned to thank him, missing the male that stepped back into the corner of the hall, hiding himself from view. But it was Eris who spoke first, “thank You, for last night. I’d like to see you again.. soon. to talk about,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m really sorry about all this,” he gestured at the air around him. “It's not your fault. We’ll figure it out,” you said through a sigh.

Eris wondered if you would ever forgive him for the way things were turning out, he didn’t want to force your hand. Hadn’t even thought about it, but as he pulled you in and wrapped his arms around you in a warm embrace, and inhaling the scent of your hair he was right where he wanted to be. Even though nothing intimate transpired that night, Lucien's imagination planted a rotten seed as he witnessed you leaving Eris bedroom. Eris' hold on you lasted too long to be a friendly hug and the flush on his brother's bare chest told a different story. Lucien decided then that he no longer wanted to be in Autumn, he’d branch out to other courts, and take you with him. But first he needed to speak with Eris.

Present

The rays of the morning sun cracked through the window, and once again you found your side of the bed empty. Loneliness has been a better lover to you than the future Heir. Before you had left to seek out the other Dead Gods; Eris only visited the cottage to see his mother and make love to you.

You hoped things would be different once you returned, but he hardly stayed the night and he was usually gone by morning. You’d never admit his absence made you feel used, causing more pain than you wanted.

After Lucien you vowed to never care for another male again. Never give your heart out willingly. From your experience everything they touched seemed to break, crumble, and wither. They hurt the women they claimed to love and protect, only for them to be beaten and assaulted. Traded to the Highest Lord in exchange for an alliance or merely because the female had the hips and cunt to breed powerful heirs, and that wouldn't happen to you. You wouldn't be touched with careless hands when you so beautifully crafted the very soil they walked on and the fresh air they breathed.

After your morning shower you find yourself searching the cupboards for your contraceptive tea. Placed high above the eyeline, away from Eris and Marrian. You had taken the tea without Eris’ knowledge. He wanted you to carry his child; it would be under your terms and only when you wanted. The decision to bear children would be out of love and with someone whom you formed a relationship organically, not like it had been with Eris.

You found no tea in the cottage. Not even healing salves for your wounded wing from your attack days ago, another injury unnoticed by Eris. You didn’t have the necessary ingredients for either so you traveled through the forest searching for the particular herbs. You could have gone to a healer for your wounds but not for the tea. Loyal to the court, merchants would talk and the last thing you needed was Lord Beron finding out and throwing you in a cell for insubordination. Contraception was hard to come by in Autumn, another rule placed by controlling males.

You were in deep concentration, biting at your fingernails trying to think of the last ingredient for the tea. When a sneaky shadow wrapped itself around your waist, squeezing you tightly just as one would for a hug. You stumbled back at the force in which the shadow had rushed to you. But you were met with a hard muscular surface and gentle hands that held onto your hips for stability. You then felt the cool caress of Azriel's breath across your neck, “You haven't healed your wing yet, any reason why?” He asked. Still in his hold, you quickly turned to face him, a little shocked to see him still in The Autumn Court so close to your cottage. “What are you doing here? How did you find me? Oh my Gods you're going to get killed.” You fire off question after question, glancing behind him and all around in a frenzy of panic and caution. Azriel follows your hurried gaze from left to right, amused in your nervousness.

“Answer my question first and I'll answer yours, deal?” Azriel suggests with a smirk.

“Ughh, fine. Not here though, come on.”

Azriel stifles a laugh as you pull him by the hand, a large overgrown bat following a pretty girl like a lost puppy. You lead him to a giant hollowed out tree trunk, the inside large enough for you both to sit without being seen. Azriel sits on a thick twisted root that's sprouted from the ground, his knees touching yours as you sit opposite of him.

“So what are you doing here?” You begin.

Azriel chuckles, “nope, you answer me first.”

You sigh and roll your eyes, “I’ve forgotten how to heal,” you mumble softly. Azriel scratches at his temple, brows furrowed in clear confusion, “I'm sorry, did you say you've forgotten how to heal?”

“Yes, I have forgotten how to heal, now answer my questions.” you crossed your arms over your chest, adamant in knowing what the hell Azriel was doing in your neck of the woods.

“But how did you forget? People forget names and faces, not how to use their power, “ he prods, striking an exposed nerve that puts you on edge.

“ You know what, forget it. I’m in a hurry, I don't have time to play games with you. I already told-”

“Alight, alright. I’m sorry. Will you at least let me help you?”

You narrow your eyes at him, suspicious of his intentions. “Why?”

This was going to be harder than Azriel thought, “I just….I’d like to repay the favor to someone who did a good thing.”

You scoff with a shake of your head. He was unbelievable, but you allowed him to help. It would be a stretch to reach your wing let alone change the bandage. You handed Azriel your satchel with all the supplies you had gathered. He took each item out and laid them out, recognizing each leaf and its purpose.

Azriel immediately notices the list of ingredients scribbled on a note paper in your bag. At the top of the list are the three herbs needed for the contraceptive tea. His eyes widen as they shoot to your pretty face and down to your womb. Nightshade, only found in The Night Court was missing from your bag. One of the many herbs imported to the other courts for distribution. You wouldn't find it in Autumn’s forest.

His jealousy flared slightly as he couldn't imagine another male touching you, seeing your naked figure bare for someone else. He shouldn't be jealous, you don't belong to him, but every ounce of his body is screaming for your attention. Any ounce of affection you're willing to give, Azriel would gladly accept.

Azriel doesn't notice when you remove your top. Keeping your breasts covered with your arms wrapped around your chest, you nestle between his spread legs, wings displayed beautifully like angels from the heavens. His breath hitches as your backside grazes against his crotch, the close proximity doing nothing to settle his nerves. Your skin looks soft and delicate, he almost doesn't want to taint you with his scarred hands.

But the urge to touch you overpowers his negative thoughts and he takes the first steps in removing your bandage. He’s about to caress your wing when he suddenly remembers the sensitivity of his own, “Illyrian wings are very sensitive in this area, I’m about to remove the bandage, I just want to make sure you're comfortable.” You peek over your shoulder giving him a shy smile at his thoughtfulness, “they’re sensitive too, based on the type of touch and pressure. But it’s the only way.” He nods in understanding, and the first glide of his fingers against your skin startles you. “Sorry,” he winces, quickly removing his hands. “It’s Ok, I just wasn't expecting..” You weren't expecting his tortured hands to carry such a tender touch. You couldn’t tell him that, not sure what he would think, “you can continue, please.”

Azriel resumes his attempt at removing the bandage, gently pulling back the adhesive holding against your skin. It was a sick kind of torture having this handsome male care for you in a way that no one ever has, his careful touch is delicate and soft despite his rough exterior. Each brush against your skin felt like a sweet kiss between lovers, healing not only your skin but the broken pieces of your soul. You let yourself relax under his touch, memorize the feel of careful hands nurturing you. Making you whole not only physically but mentally. In your blissful state a soft moan slips past your lips when his fingers glide over the space between your wings. Azriel smiles at the sound, wishing to be the reason for every sinful noise out of your mouth.

Azriel fills the silence in hopes to hush any more sweet sounds that may arouse him.“To answer your question, my shadows seem to be very fond of you. And they’ve been able to track you easily. I’m not really sure why or how but they pick up on your scent, and I just… from the last time we…” Azriels cheeks flush as he remembers your last encounter, “Why aren't you happy?” He’d thought about your previous conversation and how you mentioned you weren’t happy. The admission plagued his mind, wondering what weighed so heavy on your heart that happiness was no longer on the table. And the way you said it so casually made it seem you haven't been happy for a long long time.

You’re about to dismiss his question, your life is none of his business but something in the way he's touching you allows you to be vulnerable.

“I’m unhappy because I’ve lost my way home. Each time I die and resurrect, I come back forgetting a piece of myself, powers I once had are temporarily gone, or I don’t recognize the people around me. I’m just trying to find my way back, but I can’t seem to remember. Nothing is keeping me here but my mission to bring Death to this realm, and the many bargains Ive made in search of home. I have no family to keep me here. No worthy lovers. I feel stuck in a place that only sees me as a tool for their personal gain, And I’m tired of the confinement.”

Your voice wobbles, as you explain the depth of your pain. He knows too well the feeling of not belonging, the loneliness weighing heavy on one's shoulders. Your memory loss after each death explains his earlier question; the reason you don’t remember him and the reason you couldn't heal yourself.

He can’t see your face, but he notices your hand coming up to wipe away your fallen tears. Selfishly he doesn't want you to part from his world. His feelings for you are already so strong, he couldn't bear a life knowing you weren't in it. The Mother was cruel in her ways, he had just found you after 500 yrs only to reach you on your way out. But he’d choose your happiness over his every time.

He listens intently as you reminisce about your home. How large the moon looks from your humble throne, its proximity so close you can fly to its surface. The brilliant stars that shine brighter year after year, their vibrancy thawing the coldest of hearts. Sapphire and violet swirls of the milky way, a visual so stunning it leaves you breathless. A longing sigh passes between your lips, shoulders deflate slightly. “I’m sorry for unloading all that on you,” you shake your head, info dumping was never your intention. “Can you tell me what your home is like? I really liked the stars in The Night Court. It’s one of the reasons I stayed longer than I should have.”

“You don’t ever have to apologize for how you feel,” he says, as he continues to apply the healing salve, its cooling properties taming the angry laceration. “The Night Court is very similar to how you describe your home.” A slight blush travels up his neck, “I’d like to show you where I live, See how you like it there. I think you’d find it more home like than any other Court,” Azriel flusters as he mumbles the words out.

“I’m not sure how that would work out. I seem to have angered your High Lord.” You lift a shoulder in a shrug, “but thank you for the offer.” Azriel hadn’t thought how Rhys would behave if he knew you were a guest in the very city you threatened. How the Inner Circle would perceive you. What kind of High Lord would that make him if he did allow you to visit Velaris. Rhys head wasn’t shoved that far up his ass, was it?

“Will you allow me to help you find happiness then?”

His question has you shocked. He feels it in the way your wings have straightened and slightly flared. No one has bothered to ask if you were happy, let alone help you seek said happiness, certainly not someone you barely knew. Something about this male was different. Special, even. In a world where death and violence was in every court, usually brought on by males. This one had a thoughtful heart. Where men took from you, Azriel had given. He’d offered his services to kill for you. Offer his body to worship you. He offered his scarred masculine hands and willed them to be delicate and soft if only to heal the damaged pieces of a goddess. And now he knocked at the gates of your guarded heart willing to weather the storm in pursuit of your happiness for nothing in return. Those wrought iron gates flashed gold with every rap, Its faint pulse crashes against your heart like a violent wave, pummeling jagged rocks along the coast.

Azriel was everything you had ever wanted in a male and it scared you more than anything.

Then you remembered the words spoken by The Suriel, ‘An invisible thread that weaves and winds, binding hearts two of a kind.’

No. You wouldn’t allow your emotions to get the best of you, so you shut them down.

Azriel stilled. His deep heavy breathing suddenly the only sound that could be heard. His hands trembled in his lap. He felt it, the golden pull towards you. It was as if he was watching himself from above, gripping those iron bars so tightly his knuckles turned white, gold spreading beneath his palms coating the iron, bar by bar. But then you pushed. And he watched as your heart frosted over in stone and cold Ice, protecting itself from breaking. The iron gates doubled down, forging a firewall of blue and orange flame. He would need to jump through fire and ice to even get to you.

“There's a book, well two books I’ve been looking for. They contain the spell I need to remember my past and to go home. Book of The Minds Eye and The Book of Breathings.” It was dangerous telling Azriel, but you had exhausted every option. Bryaxis would look In Velaris Library for The Minds Eye, and if he found it he’d give it to you when you both met in the coming war and his bargain would be done. But the book of breathings was impossible to find. If he knew where to look, then it was worth telling him.

Azriel blinked back to reality confused. Did you not feel the undeniable pull? or maybe you did but you closed off, blocked it. Wait. Was that…Azriel slammed his eyes shut, willing to go back to that place, wherever it was, drag his body across glass and gravel, he didn't care. Hell he’d jump through hoops of fire if it meant you got to be his. All he saw was vast emptiness.

“Did you feel that tug?” Azriel longed for that connection, and had been looking for it his entire life. At one point he felt unworthy of such deep love. Jealousy gripped him so hard he began to resent his brothers for finding their mate. But as he saw how happy and whole they were, their joy had bounced off and with time he welcomed their delight. The Mother it seems skipped him or she didn’t deem him worthy. Perhaps it was the manner of work he was in, who would love such a soul who tortured people. Would his chosen one stomach his work and still desire to be in his presence? He had a feeling you were his chosen one, you had to be with how much he thought of you. Even after all these years searching it had to mean something in the end right? There had to be a reason he couldn't get you out of his head.

“I didn’t feel anything at all. I can tell you’ve tended to many injuries, your hands are very gentle.”

“Oh,” Azriel glanced at your fresh bandage, “your wound. Right. It's cleaned and I applied the salve and new bandage.” he couldn't help the sadness in his tone. He was wrong. Of course he was wrong, you were a Death God and what would a God want with him? You kindly asked him to turn around so you could pull your top back on, “good as new I’d say.” You shot him with a wide smile, flexing your wings, showcasing their movement despite the taut feeling of the bandage.

He nodded in agreement, “you were saying something about a book?”

Azriel caught some of the information as you retold what you were looking for, his mind weaving in and out. Thoughts between this book you were in search of and that lingering feeling deep within his chest. He was startled to hear Rhys' voice in his mind suddenly, ‘We’ve been invited to the Day Court In celebration of Helion’s Birthing Day. Wrap up your findings and report at once. With or without the girl, Mor’s returned with her findings.’

Azriel followed you out of the hollowed tree, pacing back and forth anxiously, “There's this celebration in another court. I was hoping you’d attend. With.. with me? They have multiple libraries and Helion he’s a spell cleaver, I’m sure he’d allow you to visit the-”

You cut off his rambling, a clear attempt at convincing you to the Day Court. “Are you asking me on a date shadowsinger?”

The flush across his cheeks was adorable for an illyrian his size, “ Yes!” he confirmed, “I’d be honored to have you on my arm.”

Gods you wanted to accept and forget about your duties even for a night. You’d be working for Lady Autumn, ensuring her safety in secret as well as attending to her needs. “I’ll be in attendance. But I'm afraid I’ll be on someone else’s arm.”

“Someone else? Who?” He asked, trying to calm his racing heart from its imminent break.

“Eris Vanserra.”

He should have stopped and stayed silent as his eyes darted to your bag. But his thoughts came spewing out of his mouth in anger, and once again he’d let his jealousy take over. “You’re fucking him! That's why you’re looking for contraceptive tea, I saw it in your bag.” Not a question but a statement.

“Who I fuck is none of your business!” You spat with equal rage, power surging through your veins clouding the once bright sky in gloom.

Azriel scoffs, and with a nasty bitter tone he landed a blow so low even his shadows recoiled, “how could you say you loved lucien and then fuck his brother? No wonder he left you!”

Immediate.

Regret.

Your face crumbles in pain as his words form a dagger and slice at your beating heart. As if sensing your sorrow, a roar of thunder echoed nearby, threatening to unleash its ferocity.

“Shit! I’m sorry. Please… I didn’t” Azriel inches forward. You step back, eyeing him slowly from head to toe and back up again, nothing but loathing and hurt in your cold stare. You remained silent but all Azriel heard through the agony in your beautiful face was ‘you aren't worth my time.’

“I don't expect you to understand the sacrifices one has to make when you're in love, when no one has ever loved you! And the next time you decide to disrespect me, I'll be sure to remind you how vile a Death God can be.”

You didn’t bother to look back at him as you walked away.

Part 5

A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read, I really appreciate it. :)

taglist: @blackgirlmagicforever @going-through-shit @dr4g0ngirl @mybestfriendmademe @isa1b2h3 @julesofvolterra @scooobies @thisblogisaboutabook @lilah-asteria

[ticklystuff]

Energy to Burn

a/n: inspired by gaming's teapot dialogue (pls ignore thoma standing there menacingly i was too lazy to remove him for the pic..)

for some context, a lot of ppl that celebrate lunar new year will clean their homes prior to the new year! but ya i was supposed to upload this before lantern rite and that did not happen so just pretend i did

wc: ~1.8k

summary: aether has the very relatable problem of someone else doing his chores, oh the horror

---

Hallway clean.

Counters sheen.

Kitchen kempt.

House pristine.

Aether's eyes scanned over the entirety of his living space, taking in the now well-organized room. Sloppy would be misleading in terms of how to describe himself and Aether did enjoy cleaning on the occasion, yet a certain floating companion could easily offset his progress. Compound that with constant settled dust and dirt while being away and keeping the teapot spotless becomes a massive ordeal. He did his best, he really did, but things were never exactly how Aether liked them.

Yet as much as his own reflection in the countertops was pleasing to the eye, Aether couldn't help but release a lowly sigh, recalling a conversation from the day prior. 

"Now, I know you won't let me pay any rent while I'm here, 'cause we're friends and all, but I will at least insist on making myself useful. So, if you catch me cleaning or gardening at any point — don't try and stop me."

It didn't take a genius to deduce the "culprit" behind the state of the teapot and Aether soon found himself running through the hallways of the house, crying out to his guest, always taking a second to marvel at the cleanliness of each room, before bolting to a different area of the building.

"Gaming! Gaming!!"

A brief run-through of the kitchen area rewarded Aether with a clue for his efforts: a propped open backdoor to the garden area. Lo and behold, there Gaming was, kneeling down to feed the numerous cats Aether liked to bring home to the teapot, seemingly oblivious to the blond's nearby presence. The dancer's current attire heavily clashed with the colorful flora he stood amongst, adorning a simple grey t-shirt that gave a slight peek of his midriff, baggy shorts that fell past his knees, and his usual shoes improperly slipped on. As Aether approached the other, he couldn't help but notice the little tune Gaming hummed, bobbing his head along. Lacking the usual accessories, Gaming's disheveled hair flew about in the breeze without a care.

"Gaming?" Aether slowly approached the other, prompting him to practically jump in response.

"Oh- woah! Morning, boss!" Gaming giggled, catching himself in the moment. "Look at these little guys! They love the treats I brought them! Oh, and speaking of which, did you see the breakfast I made? It's nothing special, but I prepared some congee for you. I also found some pumpkins laying around and cut them up, if you'd like to add them to your dish!"

"Ah, I haven't eaten yet," Aether nodded, watching the cats devour their food, "but I just wanted to thank you for cleaning up the house."

"Oh, it's no problem-"

"But also, you really don't need to go through all this effort," Aether quickly interjected. "You're a guest here and you should really be enjoying your time, not doing my chores."

"Uh-uh, no can do, boss!" Gaming gave another grin, not a beat missed in his reply. "I've already told you that's not how it's going to fly. Plus, who says I'm not having a good time doing your chores?"

"Gaming.."

"Heh, don't sweat it," he tilted his head, before huffing in reassurance. "My po po always taught me that I should always show gratitude to my host for having me as a guest. Besides, it's almost Lantern Rite and it's customary to clean your home before then. I know this isn't my own place, but it's where I'm staying for now, so might as well!"

"Well, not to this extent." He couldn't help but sigh, feeling conflicted, yet at the same time, Gaming didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

"Don't worry about it," Gaming clicked amusedly with his tongue. "Just think of it as a productive way for me to burn all my energy for the day!"

"I suppose." Didn't really help him feel less bad about the whole thing, though.

"Alrighty then!" Gaming placed his hands on his hips in thought. "What's next on the agenda- Ah! H-Hehehey!" The sudden outburst took Aether by surprise, taking a moment to realize why. Now out of food, the cats Gaming had been generously feeding were brushing along the bare lower parts of his legs, some even pawing at his shins, meowing as if crying out for more food.

"N-No, get awahahay!" the brunet continued to giggle, hopping between each leg to avoid the encircling horde of kittens clamoring for their next snack. "H-Here!" Gaming quickly reached into his pocket, throwing out a surplus of treats that was enough to divert the attention of his new following.

And the whole time, Aether had been observing.. watching.. stewing the little idea that the teapot cats have so graciously handed to his brain on a silver platter. If Gaming had extra energy burn, he could certainly help with that.

"Whew," Gaming sighed in relief once the cats had dispersed. "Do you not feed them here? Why are they so hun- WahH! Hey! Boss, w-what're you-?! N-Nohoho! Nahahat you too!"

In his distracted state, it wasn't particularly difficult for Aether to bowl the other over, easily pinning Gaming to the grassy garden of the teapot. Once ready, Aether set his plan into motion, digging into the sides that were oh-so conveniently exposed thanks to Gaming's choice of current attire.

"You mentioned having a little extra energy to spare," Aether teased, pinching at the exposed sides in succession to create an erratic giggly response. "Thought that maybe I could help with that."

"Nahahat like thihihis!" Gaming shook his head with a smile, showing off the widest dimples adorning his cheeks. "I-I wahahas juhuhust trying to heheEHEHELP!"

Aether couldn't help but grin along, having just hit a particularly good spot that elicited the cutest squeals. He continued to make use of the newfound discovery, circling the area around Gaming's navel with the tips of his finger nails in repeated motions to draw out the contagious laughter. "Y'know this is your fault, right? If you hadn't started feeding the cats, I would have never found out you're so ticklish."

"Th-That dohohohesn't mahahake any sehehense!" Gaming kicked his legs and patted away at the hands that lightly clawed all over his midsection, but it was for naught, as Aether had no intent on stopping any time soon. "Ehehehehahaha! StahahAHAhahap!"

"I could," Aether drew out with his tongue, making sure to really dig into the vulnerable waist with incessant pokes, feeling Gaming's body lurch and his legs kick to escape the way Aether effectively straddled him, "if you promise to relax during the rest of your stay."

"NEHEHEVEHEHER!"

Aether shrugged his shoulders, perfectly fine with Gaming's stubbornness, if that's what suited him. His laughter was the best part, Aether soon realized; there was something softly warm to it, akin to nibbling into a slice of freshly baked bread. No matter the flavor of laughter, whether it be the sharp yelps from squeezing his thighs to the squeals Gaming would make whenever his navel was targeted, or maybe the bouncy giggles from tasing his sides, the lush vibrant undertones were never absent, satiating Aether's ears in the most fulfilling way possible. He was so content with the current situation that the reason the two were there nearly slipped his mind, until the sight of Gaming's tomato cheeks caught Aether by surprise.

"Hehe, oops," Aether giggled, giving his hands and Gaming a pause. "Well, have we burned enough energy for today?"

"Nuh-uh," Gaming finally shook his head. Breathless as he may be, there was still the faintest glimmer of vigor behind his smile. "I can do this all day."

"Hmph, me too." His hands poised once again, prompting Gaming's limbs to tense in response, yet Aether found himself stopping midair. If Gaming didn't break from everything tried so far, then it would only make sense to switch up his target, but where to? So far, nothing had worked, the boy seemingly a boundless well of laughter and energy, but surely there'd be something..

"What's wrong?" Gaming spoke up, his voice not having fully recovered yet. "Given up yet?"

"Heh, no," Aether lightly tweaked his hips, causing his arms to flail, before his arms landed uselessly on the grass next to.. a discarded shoe?? The blond blinked twice, taking a moment to piece together that one of Gaming's slippers must've flung off during all the kicking he was doing, which meant..

Aether quickly slid downwards, ensnaring the bare foot in an armlock before Gaming could make a move, creating what seemed to be panicked shaking from behind. "H-Hey, wait a minute," Gaming's voice could be heard running a mile a minute, as his free leg pressed against the grass in a last attempt to escape. "Okay, okay this is mean! No, no, no, you don't have to- NohohOHOHO! W-WahahahAIT!"

The effect was almost instant, as Aether scribbled up and down the sensitive sole, eliciting crackled laughter from its owner. He took a second to take a peek behind him, giggling at the scene of Gaming uselessly covering his face with his hands as muffled helpless laughter poured through. There was the occasional kick to his backside from the other spasming leg, but Aether made sure to reward those with a few rougher scrapes to his foot. "Surrender yet?"

"WahAHAHAHA!"

"I didn't hear a yes," Aether snickered, drowned out by Gaming's wailing, feeling the trapped leg buck in his grasp. His fingers ran up the length of the sole, earning himself squeal whenever he reached the base of Gaming's toes, before sliding back down to his heel.

"Okay! Okahahahay! Stahahap! I gihiHIHIVE!"

Just for good measure, Aether delivered a few more pressurized pokes to the middle of his foot, listening as Gaming slapped his hands on the grass in defeat amongst the pleading. When he eventually released his leg, Aether was surprised to see the limb fall limp instead of being pulled back to safety, though he supposed this was a good sign that Gaming's energy was finally spent.

"Urgh, why," the brunet groaned, exhausted without a doubt. "This is what I get for being a good person."

"No, it's what you get for being stubborn," Aether chided with a shake of his head, before offering his hand to help the other on his legs. Once Gaming stood up, Aether couldn't help but ruffle the disheveled mess of brown hair in an attempt at brushing away the pieces of grass caught in the strands.

"Mmm," Gaming shook his head, before running his fingers through his hair a couple of times. "Maybe you won today, but there's always tomorrow's chores. You can't totally stop me."

Aether rolled his eyes in response. "Is that so?" he said, fingers wiggling towards Gaming's sides.

"Okay, okay!" Gaming already began giggling again, jumping back to safety. "I'll learn to chill."

"Promise?"

Gaming sighed, almost as if he had something else to say, only to shake his head. "Fine, promise."

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Double trouble

Word count: 1900+

Warnings: brawling doggos → mentions of blood and wounds

For @erisweekofficial, Day 4: Tradition/Hounds

Dividers by @tsunami-of-tears

It was quite warm autumn day and Eris headed to the secret pathway that led from garden straight to a long forgotten ruins of temple hidden among the trees on the hill behind the Forest House. He loved that place ever since he found it as a child and he often played between the half collapsed walls. Under the ruins dwelled source of ancient powerful magic that pulsed through the ground and called to him, filling his veins with fire, connecting him with essence of Autumn on a primal level. It didn't give him a real power though, only recharged him and his tired soul, but the experience was so magnificent that his body asked for it every now and then.

Eris was in a good mood, his steps light. His amber eyes shone happily as he imagined all the things he could do today. With Beron on a business trip and all paperwork done, he had an entire day to do whatever he wanted. Of course he was going to spend it with his hounds. There was nothing that could bring him more joy than the twelve four legged furry creatures.

He used to keep them in a stable, but ever since he took them to the ruins, they didn't want to return back to the estate. Maybe they also felt the power breathing under their paws or they just liked that place; he didn't know. It was the first and only time the whole pack disobeyed him. Thus he warded the ruins to keep them safe and turned it into their home.

When autumn heir was sure that nobody would hear him, he started to whistle melody that nonstop played in his head for weeks now. As he got closer to the ruins, the quiet forest filled with a sound of barking that was quickly getting closer. His smokehounds heard him coming and decided to go to welcome their master.

The first hound that reached him, was naturally Lightening, the fastest of them. He came running in a full speed and without slowing down jumped at Eris. Even though he expected it, the impact threw him off his legs and he landed on his back sprawled on the soft forest ground. In a blink of eye, he was surrounded by the whole pack.

The hounds barked happily, wagging their tails, jumping around him and on him. Most of them was just trying to lick his face affectionately, some wanted to be scratched between ears or have their bellies rubbed.

Eris laughed from the bottom of his heart. "Enough. I love you too, guys. It tickles." But they ignored his attempts to at least sit up and merrily continued in the game. It was rare to get their master's face within the reach.

However, two of them, namely Badger and Scotches, didn't seem to be interested in their master. They sniffed all his pockets, trying to get their snouts in. No matter how much they tried, they couldn't get inside, so they tried to tear the fabric with teeth and paws. Eris pushed them away, but they returned aiming to get some treats.

As much as Eris loved to snuggle and play with his loves, he couldn't tolerate such behaviour. He whistled shortly and hounds immediately lined up, waiting patiently.

Eris stood up, brushing the leaves and dirt from his clothes while eyeing the two miscreants. They both hung their head guilty, avoiding his eyes.

"You have to deserve them," he raised a brow at them and the rest of pack gave them judging looks, grumbling. If it wasn't for these two, they could still play with master.

Eris whistled again and hounds straightened up, their attention trained on him. As usual, Eris went through the simple commands, closely watching whether all hounds accomplished them properly. After completing command every hound was rewarded with Eris's special dog crackers that he prepared himself according to his personal secret recipe. It took him years to find the perfect balance of nutrients and good taste.

Ten hounds performed perfectly, only Badger and Scotches were sluggish and apparently didn't want to cooperate. Eris narrowed eyes at them. They ignored him though. In result, they didn't get crackers, not even once. They watched enviously as everyone around them crunched the treat between teeth, happily wagging the tails. By the time the training was over, they were frowning at Eris and angrily growling at their comrades.

Eris decided to treat his hounds with one extra portion of crackers and that was when those two snapped. Eris was giving cracker to the hound standing between them, when they launched at it almost biting into Eris's fingers in the process. He managed to yank his hand back in time before the sharp canines snapped together. Greystone that stood between them, closing eyes jerked his head back to avoid the collision.

Scotches, a bit faster one, almost got the cracker, but Badger slammed into him from the side. The treat fell to the ground and the two started to fight over it. The rest of the hounds backed up from them creating a circle around. Two brawlers growled at each other, trying to kill the opponent.

Eris took out a silver whistle that he used only rarely as Scotches was the one who usually stopped every fight between hounds. It didn't work. Completely ignoring every command, they fought rolling on the ground. When the first few drops of blood sprinkled the grass, Kama, the softest and kindest of them all, launched forward. She fearlessly jumped between them, snapping her canines at the one and then the other, but engrossed in the fight they ignored her until Kama cried out in pain. Everything including Eris's heart froze in that moment.

Badger's teeth were closed around Kama's paw, blood dripping from his muzzle. Scotches whined and backed up with ears down, cringing. Badger slowly let go of the paw and cringing and whining started to lick the injury he caused.

Eris was in a blink of eye on his knees in front of Kama, gently holding her paw to examine it. The wound was quite deep, but fortunately nothing seemed to be broken. However, it needed stitches. Immediately.

Eris quickly sent the rest of hounds back to the ruins while ordering the two culprits to sit where they were until he returned. They were injured too, but thankfully it wasn't anything serious and all wounds would heal within an hour or so on its own. On purpose, he left the cracker as it was, on the ground in front of them, so the punishment was even more severe.

He scooped Kama into his arms and winnowed with her to the closest veterinarian who usually checked the hounds and knew them well. In the end, Kama ended up needing ten stitches. The veterinarian assured him that she should be fine and heal until the next day, but Eris was worried anyway.

Despite having big plans for his day off and especially looking forward the hunt, Eris couldn't stand the idea of letting Kama alone somewhere. Instead of returning back to ruins, he headed to the Forest House. Beron was very clear when he banned bringing hounds into rooms and specifically bedrooms, so Eris had to sneak through the hallways, looking around every corner to make sure that nobody was there. His father had spies everywhere and nothing could make them happier than to report on young heir and his breaking of rules.

"Good girl," he whispered to Kama who licked his face with gratitude. "Just stay silent, okay? If they catch us we will be in a huge trouble."

When they reached his chambers' door he waved his hand to undo the ward and quickly slipped in, immediately closing the door behind. Wards fell on its place and Eris breathed out in relief. It was hard to believe they managed to get in without being caught. Real miracle.

Eris looked around, hesitating where to put his wounded hound down. She deserved the best for her bravery. He was deciding between armchair and sofa, both soft and very comfortable, when his eyes landed on a big pillow. It was decided. He tossed it on the ground in front of hearth and gently placed Kama down on it. Flicking his wrist he lit up the fire. He reached into the pocket between the worlds, taking out two bowls. He set the bowls with water and food within Kama's reach and sat down on the floor beside her, gently scratching her between ears.

"I'm so sorry for what has happened to you," he sighed and hound looked up at him as if telling him to not worry about that. She rolled on her back, letting him rub her belly. She grunted contentedly.

"I wonder why those two vagabonds were so off today. Especially Scotches. He usually doesn't fight with others like that. Did you have some misunderstandings? Hm? Would you tell me?" He leaned down, nuzzling to her soft fur. Kama just snorted like a tired mother whose children were always in some kind of trouble.

"You need a bath, do you know it?" he teased her grinning and she gave him angry look. "I think that as soon as you get well, I'll take all of you to the river and we will have a wash day. What do you think?"

Kama whined and dramatically plopped her head down on the pillow, pouting.

"Oh, c'mon. It won't be so bad. We'll have a lot of fun." She rolled her eyes, sighing through snout deeply as if saying that he would be the only one to enjoy it.

Eris spent the rest of the day taking care of his small patient. He didn't want to leave her side even for a moment and ended up sleeping on the floor with her. Thankfully, smokehounds were magical creatures and could heal pretty fast just like Fae. Next morning Kama was healthy and again stood on all four paws. At sunrise she jumped at him, licking his face until he reluctantly opened one amber eye.

"Is this repay for the bath you'll get today?" he grunted, but he was happy that she was already healed. After eating breakfast together, he successfully sneaked her out.

They walked through the forest side by side, enjoying the early morning's cool air and bird's chirping, but before they got to the ruins, they were greeted by two hounds soundly sleeping in the grass. Badger and Scotches were exactly where Eris had left them, they didn't dare to move a single inch. Even the cracker was on the same place, now half soaked with morning drew. Eris stopped, folding hands on his chest and nodded at Kama. It was her turn to get angry with them. She nodded back and quietly stalked to the sleeping brawlers. She sat down in front of them and barked.

They both jolted, immediately sitting up with ears down. They didn't dare to look at their master nor Kama, heads hanging down. Kama narrowed her eyes at them, growling lowly and gave them a proper scold. When she was done with them, she simple walked with her nose high to the ruins where the rest of hounds was waiting, watching them curiously. The rest of comrades warmly welcomed her, nuzzling to her sides and sniffing around now healed paw.

Eris stepped to the two and crouched down. "Was it necessary?" he eyed them strictly while they uncomfortably shifted from one paw to other, still too ashamed to meet his eyes.

"Today is the wash day," he announced aloud so all hounds heard him. "You two will be sitting in the water until others get washed. All the time. No exceptions. And you, Badger, will be the last to get washed. Now come. It's time for breakfast."

Both hounds stood up and followed after Eris with tails between legs, as tame as sheep.

[ghost-1-y]

trust me - sanemi shinazugawa

Pairing: sanemi x afab!tsuguko!reader

!!PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE CONTINUING!!

TW: major character death (reader), no happy ending (hurt/no comfort), mentions & descriptions of gore & injury, brief thoughts of self-harm (Sanemi - briefly mentioned, doesn’t actually happen), consensual sex (Sanemi and reader are 18+), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, handjob, oral (m! and f! receiving), creampie, Sanemi is pussy drunk in this lmao; spanking (happens once), slight manhandling, praise kink, spitting kink(?) (Sanemi spits in readers mouth), (very) slight olfactophilia, brief mention of vomit (again, doesn’t actually happen), mention of scars (Sanemi and reader) MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI - I WILL BLOCK YOU

CW: fluff; general angst; arguments between Sanemi and reader; Sanemi is a bit of a meanie at times :/ (aka Sanemi being Sanemi); mentions of food/eating; descriptions of wound care; love confessions; Sanemi uses the following pet names for reader: “baby”, “pretty”, “beautiful”, and “sweetheart”

Word Count: ~6.2k

A/N: this is my first fic, so I hope that y’all enjoy it! I’m not gonna lie I was superrr nervous to post this lol so please be nice🥲🥲 I’ll probably do a fluffy comfort fic for Sanemi after this to make up for the pain lol; also wanted to let y’all know that this was half-inspired by the song “Fragile” by Laufey, so go give that a listen if you’d like!

Quiet. 

As the dewy drops of the morning mist came into contact with his bare hands, Sanemi noted the silence of the sunrise – one would believe that its light denoted respite, a time of peace – something beautiful to behold as its rays began to gently sweep across the grassy field. He could not yet hear the calls of the mourning dove, for it was too early for the birds to grace anyone’s ears with their softening sounds.

However, as Sanemi continued his way through the tall blades, his hands wet with the remnants of night, respite gave way to apprehension, and the misty air was filled with a sense of malaise.

For the mist that lowly hovered above the grass was red.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

One year ago.

“You can’t expect me to treat you differently from them.” Sanemi pointed his blade to the lower-ranked slayers on the sidelines of the training grounds, those who hadn’t passed out yet being completely keeled over or having nearly drowned themselves in water to stave off the summer heat. “If you want to handle stronger opponents, I need to ensure that you are trained well enough to do so.”

Having been at the point of near-exhaustion herself, Y/N could barely muster a reply. “I know, Shinazugawa-san,” she panted while looking up at him from her not-so-flattering position on the ground. “Why else do you think I’m here? ‘s not like I enjoy being trained half-to-death,” she replied sarcastically.

Sanemi’s glare met her. “You should consider yourself lucky that I was gracious enough to let you train under me. At the rate you’re going, I’d half expect you to move down a rank, rather than up one.” He walked towards her and, despite his cold nature, offered Y/N his scarred hand. “Get up. I’m not lettin’ you go until you can knock me down to my knees.”

A challenge she knew to be nearly impossible with the skill level she was currently at, Y/N wondered if her rank of Hinoto meant anything against the Wind Pillar himself. She took his roughened hand in hers and stood up, and, after a poor attempt at dusting the dirt off of her uniform, steeled herself once more for the upcoming attack from the man glaring across from her. 

Sanemi tightened his grip on the hilt of his sword and started lunging toward her.

–––––

Y/N continued to train under Sanemi’s watch, each day somehow more grueling than the last. She woke up at the god-awful hours of the morning and trained until midnight. This repeated day in and day out for weeks, with seemingly nothing to show for it except a bunch of creative insults that she’d managed to add to her arsenal after receiving them from Sanemi himself.

“You’re not using your sword correctly,” he pointed out. It was always something, she thought – her stance was wrong, her breathing wasn’t efficient enough, and now she apparently couldn’t even hold her sword correctly.

By the time she looked up at Sanemi, frustrated with her apparent inadequacies, he was no longer in front of her, having walked around so that her back faced him. He placed his hand on her forearm, “just– move your arms here…good, and your hands should be like this–” he spoke softly into her ear as he adjusted her grip to what he deemed satisfactory. Y/N was thankful that Sanemi stood behind her as she felt an intense warmth flood across her cheeks. By the time he was finished, Y/N noted the lightest blush on the tips of his ears as he returned to his original spot and took his own offensive stance, clearly not intending nor wanting to address the familiarity of his previous actions. 

“Now you don’t have any excuses to have such a shitty attack pattern,” he quipped, before engaging her in battle once more.

As months passed, the Wind Pillar slowly transitioned from insults to providing Y/N with actual guidance, and she was slowly reminded of why exactly she requested to become his Tsuguko in the first place. One day, while she was taking her thirty-minute lunch break at the wooden chabudai inside of the Wind Pillar’s estate, Sanemi sat next to her and started to eat his own meal. He refused to look at her, but the words he uttered from his mouth sent relief through her veins.

“You’ve gotten stronger.”

Unsure of how to respond, as compliments were rare coming from the usually rather hostile Pillar, Y/N simply nodded and whispered a “thank you,” continuing to pick at her food. Eventually, she looked over at him and noticed that he was frowning at the wooden chabudai before him, an internal conflict seemingly battling out in his mind.

“I have a mission I’ve been assigned to, I’d like you to come with me.”

His words were quiet, almost hesitant.

“You want me to assist you?” she asked, mainly because she didn’t believe Sanemi had trusted her enough to bring her on a mission assigned to a Hashira, much less himself.

Sanemi nodded in response. “Lower-ranked slayers have been going missing in one of the nearby mountains,” he sighed. “If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have named them slayers in the first place if they’re stupid enough to get caught by some demon.” He paused, and then finally looked at her. “I think that you’re capable enough to help me should things get out of hand,” he added quietly.

A sense of warmth flooded through her, and she smiled at him, grateful that he had finally acknowledged the hard work she’d put into all of her training. “Thank you, Shinazugawa-san. I promise that I will do my best.”

Sanemi thought to himself that he would like to see more of that smile.

“Don’t think that just ‘cause I’ve seen you improve that it means I’m gonna let you take it easy from here on out,” he said as he stood up. “Also, if you get into trouble on this mission, I want you to call for me immediately. Don’t get yourself into some shit you can’t handle,” he added, and his gaze upon her suddenly hardened as the words left his mouth. “Let me deal with it if things get too difficult.”

With that, he left to head back towards the training grounds.

–––––

That night, Y/N followed closely behind as Sanemi hiked up the mountain, with the bitter cold becoming more apparent as patches of snow were slowly augmented by the tiny flakes falling around them. Every once in a while, they’d find some blood splatter or human entrails, with such carnage becoming more frequent as they continued their trek. 

Eventually, Sanemi stopped – Y/N had learned to trust his instinct when he sensed that something was off. Sanemi brushed his hand over the hilt of his sword and gripped it tightly, his muscles tensing with anticipation, which caused Y/N to echo his actions and grab her own sword, holding it so that she was prepared for any possible enemy attack.

Or so she thought.

A blast of icy wind came from her right, forcing Y/N to close her eyes lest her corneas were to freeze from the frigid temperature. Sanemi, however, immediately chased after the source – his speed something frightening to behold. After a futile attempt to follow him, Y/N found herself swarmed by fifteen demons, all of whom were nearly identical to each other, as they all possessed the same pale blue skin and white hair. After a few attacks, Y/N also noted that their blood demon art was the same: one that would allow them to manipulate freezing winds and ice however they pleased.

Y/N was able to hear Sanemi in the distance, easily decapitating what seemed to be a larger swarm than what she was presently dealing with. Just how many of them are there? Y/N thought as she made her way through twelve of the demons, decapitating each one until an attack managed to hit her mid-air – causing a sharp ice fragment to deeply slice open her upper thigh. Gritting through the pain, she finished off the final three demons that she’d been fighting before slowly limping toward a nearby tree to assess the damage of her wound. It seemed as though Sanemi’s battle was also over, as Y/N could hear nothing but the howling of the mountainous winds as he walked back over to where they both had split up.

Once Sanemi caught sight of her, his shoulders seemed to relax. However, such relief was temporary once he eyed her bleeding thigh, and immediately began rushing over to her, pulling out some spare gauze that he had stored on his person and a wave of anger that she couldn’t describe filling the violet hues of his eyes.

“What did I fuckin’ tell you? To stay back and let me handle it, yet you’re so stupid that you can’t even obey direct orders,” Sanemi spat at her as he started bandaging the deep laceration on her thigh, taking careful consideration of the pressure and tightness of the gauze wrap he was using. Each time she winced, he would look up from her injury, and his violet eyes would meet hers. However, there was no malice of the words he spewed at her within his expanded pupils.

Y/N sharply inhaled before responding. “I’m sorry! But you’re the one who went on ahead and left me with them! I had to–”

“No. You didn’t have to, you fuckin’ dumbass. That’s where you’re wrong – you didn’t have to put yourself in danger just because I was off dealing with something else. Fuckin’ think next time and maybe I wouldn’t have to be cleaning you up like this,” he lightly choked on the last few words, yet continued wrapping up her wound, hands gentle and considerate of her pain. Y/N huffed at his impossible reasoning and looked down at him with a hardened stare.

He looked into her eyes once more, his grip on her uninjured leg tightening. “I don’t- I can’t fuckin’ lose someone else,” he stated, a rare glimpse of vulnerability from inside his tortured heart. At that, Y/N dropped her stare and hesitantly placed her hand upon his tensed one.

“I’m sorry, Shinazugawa-san, I promise that next time will be different. I’ll get stronger, so you won’t have to go to such lengths for me.” She gave him a reassuring smile, and his hand relaxed as he continued his work on her wounded leg. With the sun still rising over the horizon, she couldn’t make out the brimming of tears on his waterline before he blinked them away.

It was a side of Sanemi that Y/N hadn’t seen before – but before she could indulge herself to begin examining every crevice of emotion that the Wind Pillar had put on display for her, his attitude changed once again to one of apparent indifference.

“Don’t apologize – just listen to me next time,” he stated as he finished wrapping up her leg. Once a couple of hours passed and the Kakushi had arrived to clean up the aftermath, he stood up and grabbed Y/N’s arm to pull her up from her sitting position. Sanemi then took the same arm and put it around his shoulder, allowing her to use him as a crutch as they both walked to the wagon brought by one of the Kakushi in the aftermath of the battle.

The ride to the Butterfly Mansion was mostly quiet. Sanemi, despite not being injured himself, decided to stay with Y/N as she slept on the floor of the wagon. The cold of the early morning seemed to be permeating Y/N’s skin as she shivered in her sleep. Always aware of his surroundings, Sanemi looked at her with concern and took off his haori, feeling slightly flushed as he placed it on top of her as a makeshift blanket, blaming the warmth of his cheeks on the cold morning air. He sat down next to her, crossing his arms and closing his eyes to alleviate some of his own fatigue.

It didn’t help that in his dreams, his body was keeping her warm instead.

–––––

Once Y/N had woken up, she first noted the sanitary scent of the patient room assigned to her. Having awoken from the gentle knock on the door, she looked to see Aoi entering with some gauze and antibiotics.

Sanemi was nowhere in sight.

“I’m glad you’re awake. I’m here to perform some general wound care for you. I’ll be changing your dressings, alright?” Aoi looked at her, and once she received a nod from Y/N, she proceeded to unwrap the layers of gauze and started to inspect the wound.

“There is some slight inflammation,” she observed as she lightly pressed against the sides of the laceration with her gloved hands, which exhibited some redness and swelling. “I’m going to be prescribing you some antibiotics in order to prevent any potential infections.” She started applying some antibiotic ointment directly to the wound, and Y/N winced at the stinging pain that it caused. Once satisfied, Aoi carefully rewrapped the wound with a new set of gauze. “Your antibiotics will need to be taken orally with food and water once a day. Make sure you complete the entire course that I prescribe so that you don’t face any further complications down the line.” 

All Y/N could do was nod silently, and once Aoi determined that she would follow directions, she left the room.

–––––

Despite wanting to thank him for helping her in the aftermath of the battle, Y/N had not seen Sanemi even once during her recovery process. She wondered if he had gone back to his estate, but it still struck her as odd that he didn’t at least come by to berate her for the lack of judgment she possessed in the midst of the fight.

Maybe he got it all out of his system when he was wrapping up my wound, she thought to herself.

During her stay as a patient, Aoi mentioned to Y/N that due to the cut slicing through the muscle of her leg, it could take weeks or even months to recover. Since Y/N had not yet mastered Total Concentration Breathing: Constant, Aoi explained that it may take longer to heal compared to if a Hashira had such an injury.

Y/N wondered if Sanemi no longer trusted her skills as a slayer.

She wondered if Sanemi ever had any trust in her at all. 

The very thought caused bile to rise in her throat. She wanted him to be proud of her, to trust her – just as she did with him.

Y/N slowly got up from her bed and walked outside to sit on the engawa of the Butterfly Mansion. The moon’s rise was slow, and the soft chirp of crickets could be heard from the nearby trees. Once sat, she admired the garden owned by the Insect Pillar herself – with beautiful azaleas and hydrangea plants shaping pathways throughout the grounds. Y/N closed her eyes and basked in the moonlight rays that shone upon the estate – that is, until her ears heard the softest creak of wood coming from behind her.

“Shinazugawa-san?” She softly whispered once she turned to see who it was, as though the peace of the night would be disturbed should she speak any louder.

Sanemi said nothing, but then moved quietly to sit down next to her – if Y/N hadn’t known any better, she would’ve believed that he was solely there just to admire the moonlit garden as well. His eyes appeared a soft, yet dark hue of indigo in the cool moonlight – they bore none of the usual aggression that they carried when around others.

“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” Y/N asked him quietly, gaze fixed upon him, and he nodded. 

“Would be prettier if it didn’t cause so much needless death.”

She couldn’t argue at all. He was right – and would be until demons had been eradicated off the face of the earth, but that didn’t stop her from wishing that things were different.

Sanemi sighed and finally looked at her, and his eyes screamed ‘loss’. 

He was fragile. He wasn’t the roughened-up, aggressive, insolent slayer that others saw him as. Rather, it was his scars that held him together by threads, and it was his heart that silently called out to her – to “hold me, please.”

And so she did.

Y/N slowly slid her arms around him and had them reach up towards his nape. The sigh he emitted came from his chest, and Sanemi’s grip tightened around her as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. His eyes closed and brows furrowed, focused on nothing but the gentle touch of her skin against his. His mouth was slightly parted, lips pressed softly near her collarbone as he breathed against her.

His touch was warm.

She wished to feel more of it, to let it utterly consume her until all that she could feel was him. 

Once he parted from her, Y/N looked into his eyes and felt the need to speak. “I- uh, I wanted to thank you for helping me with my wound after the battle,” she admitted softly. In response, his eyes hardened again and looked down at her bandaged leg.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied shortly before getting up. Soon after, Y/N found herself alone on the engawa once again, although the peaceful silence of the night had been replaced with a feeling of despondency that she couldn’t quite place.

–––––

By the time she recovered from her injury, it seemed as though Sanemi had done the impossible by making Y/N’s training even more difficult. Not a day went by when she wasn’t completely collapsed on the ground by sunset. It only took a few days before dark shadows under her eyes became visible, and her muscles ached.

Gone too was Sanemi’s softer side. Instead, it seemed as though their relationship was right back where it started, sans the fact that he seemed to slightly tense every single time he caught a glimpse of her scarred leg.

The sun had set, and Sanemi was yelling at Y/N to complete one more series of reps before retiring for the night. The problem, however, was that Y/N’s legs had become gelatinous and were shaking beyond her control, and despite all the willpower that she had sustained within her, it wasn’t enough to pick herself up off the ground.

“Are you really that fuckin’ weak that you can’t even stand up by yourself?” he spat. “You should’ve never become a slayer – this shit is too dangerous for people like you. All you will ever be is demon fodder. Fuckin’ give up and leave the corps if that’s how you’re going to treat the training I give you.” His insults were never-ending, and given how exhausted she was, it took everything within her to not cry at his words.

“I’m fucking trying, Shinazugawa-san!” she choked out. “What the hell did I do for you to treat me this way? Have I not done enough already?” With tears brimming in her eyes, she musters up the courage to ask the question she’s been wondering since that night on the battlefield.

“Do you not have any trust in me at all?” she cried.

Sanemi scoffed and glared at her. “You need to earn my trust, and until you’re able to complete the training I give you without collapsing to the ground like some low-ranked slayer, then you won’t have it.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped and she ignored the tightening sensation in her throat as she resolved to bite back at the cruel man before her.

“Bullshit,” she spat. “You thought I was capable enough to assist you on the last mission. Don’t lie by saying I’ve never earned your trust before.”

Sanemi rolled his eyes. “So what? Maybe I did trust you – before the mission. But you fucking broke it by getting hurt!” he seethed, eyes wide as he looked down at her. 

“Maybe if you were capable enough to not get yourself wounded during the fight, then I might’ve still had some trust in you,” he admitted. “You think that I’m just gonna trust someone who gets their leg nearly sliced off to be able to handle themselves?”

“Is that what this is all about? ‘Cause I got some stupid cut on my leg? You can’t be serious–”

“Shut the fuck up. You know damn well it wasn’t just a cut. What if you had gotten slashed somewhere else? What if it had been more severe? What if you–” he didn’t wish to complete that sentence, lest he spoke the thought into existence.

It was the first time she’d seen Sanemi with tears in his eyes.

“It would’ve been my fault, Y/N! My fucking fault if something happened to you! I already told you, I can’t fucking lose someone else. I’ve already lost so many people, and I–” he watched as Y/N stood up, despite the obvious exhaustion in her legs, and walked towards him. “I can’t lose you, too,” he confessed, his voice softer than the wind that gently breezed through her hair. A tear had found its way down his cheek – just over the scar that was bestowed upon him by his own mother. As if by instinct, Y/N wiped it away with the pad of her thumb, but she did not part from his face. Instead, she proceeded to trace her thumb over the jagged scar, and he surprisingly leaned into the touch of her palm against his cheek, his eyes frantically searching her own. She smiled at him, and his breath caught in his throat.

“You have me, Sanemi.”

The groan that he voiced was soft, yet guttural – as though it came from deep within his chest, and he placed his hands on either side of her face, his eyes looking at her with utmost adoration and care, and his lips brushed softly against hers, and Y/N’s eyes were nearly sent reeling back before he closed the gap.

The pleasurable gasp that she emitted caused him to smile into the kiss, his lips slightly chapped, but gentle and loving with how they caressed hers, as though she would shatter under the slightest touch, or that she was a goddess and he a sinner seeking repentance by worshiping her.

“Fuck…wanted to do this for so long,” he breathed against her and his kisses became more needy – something fully welcomed by Y/N as she wrapped her arms around him and her fingers found purchase in his unruly hair. When he parted from her lips, a string of saliva connected his mouth to hers, which only broke as he went back to kiss her with his then swollen lips. He groaned once more before picking her up and carrying her over his shoulder, causing Y/N to yelp in surprise.

“Not letting you go anywhere, baby,” Sanemi grinned and smacked Y/N’s ass as he took her to his estate’s bedroom, which prompted her to roll her eyes at his antics. Yet, she couldn’t help but smile as he gently placed her on his futon and kissed her once more. “Can’t fuckin’ get enough of you, pretty,” he stated before moving down to her neck, where he licked and sucked until he found her pulse point, at which point Y/N moaned softly. “That’s right…feels good, doesn’t it?” he asked, knowing full well what her answer was even before she tried to nod her head.

“Sa- Sanemi…” she gasped, her hand cradling the back of his head as he left messy kisses up and down her neck.

“Sound so fuckin’ beautiful, keep saying my name like that, hm?” As he continued kissing her, his hands rose towards the top button of her uniform, a question of “Can I?” to which Y/N nodded. He unbuttoned her top, kissing down her chest and stomach until the clothing was fully removed. In return, Y/N helped remove the bindings that covered her breasts, letting them spill out in full view of Sanemi’s greedy irises. Sanemi wasted no time in latching his mouth to one of her tits, where he lavished her with his tongue whilst massaging and kneading the other with his roughened hand, rolling her nipple in between his fingers and playfully biting down on her breasts every so often solely to hear her whine.

“‘Nemi…need…need more please,” Y/N moaned and he chuckled. “Hm? What do you need, pretty?” Y/N only whined in response and he bit her breast again, causing her to jolt. “Need you to tell me what you want, beautiful,” he continued.

“Need your mouth…” she admitted, slightly embarrassed.

“Oh? Where do you need it?” he asked her before sucking her tit once more.

“Nngh… my– my pussy,” Y/N whined pathetically, to which Sanemi released his mouth from her breast with a lewd pop.

“Good girl,” he praised and started working towards her needy cunt, licking down her torso and leaving kisses and bites on her inner thighs. He took his time working towards her wet heat and ghosted his mouth over her panties, his hot breath permeating the cloth as she impatiently writhed underneath him. He selfishly inhaled her scent before pulling the garment to the side, and leaving a soft kiss against her core, leaving her to whimper when he pulled away to remove her panties, only for him to then lick a fat stripe up her slit. Sanemi moaned deeply and proceeded to pull Y/N towards him by her hips, ensuring that her sweetness was as close as possible to his greedy tongue.

“You taste so fucking good,” he groaned before proceeding to stuff his face full of her pussy once more. The tip of his nose nudged her swollen clit as he gathered her wetness into his mouth by licking into her tight hole and fucking her with his tongue, moaning against her pussy in the process. Y/N began bucking her hips in response, only for him to pin them down with one arm as he used his other hand to start fingering her after moving his mouth to suck on her clit. She moaned with abandon as he began curling his fingers inside of her heat, sucking voraciously on her swollen nub.

“F-Fuck, ‘Nemi! I- I’m gonna cum!” Y/N attempted to writhe underneath him, despite being held back by Sanemi’s arm pinning her down. Her admission only turned Sanemi more eager, causing him to rut against the mattress as he began quickening his fingers inside her and sucking harder on her clit. Y/N’s eyes rolled back and her mouth went agape, screaming and shaking uncontrollably as she came into his awaiting mouth. He licked up every drop that she gave him, using his fingers to coax more of her release onto his tongue, not wanting to waste any of her precious gift.

Y/N sat up and clambered onto him as soon as she came down from her orgasm, and kissed him deeply, tasting herself on his lips and tongue. “Wanna return the favor, ‘Nemi,” she whispered and he flushed red at the thought. “Yeah? Show me, pretty.” Standing up, he tilted her chin with one hand so that she was forced to look up at him from her knees. Using his other hand, he unbuckled his belt and removed it along with his hakama. His cock was thick, with pretty veins traveling all across it, making her nearly drool at the sight. Y/N brought one hand up and collected the precum from the tip of his cock with her thumb, before licking it off. Sanemi groaned, encouraging her to begin stroking his fat dick despite her hand being unable to fully reach around it. She took a curious first lick at his pretty, bulbous head, causing him to shudder, before wrapping her lips around it and sucking as she moved her hand along his thick length.

“Fuck, baby,” Sanemi groaned. Y/N moved her hand to fondle his balls and began taking on more of his length into her mouth, bobbing her head back and forth, a combination of saliva and precum coating his dick. “S-shit– you’re so good at that… fuck,” he groaned.

It took everything within Sanemi to not start fucking her throat at that moment – not wanting to hurt her as she pleasured him. He compromised by grabbing her hair and gently guiding her mouth along his cock, so that he could have some semblance of control over her movements and hence, his orgasm. Before he could cum, he removed her from his length and put his hand underneath her chin, tilting her head up towards his face – a wave of arousal shooting straight through his dick as he saw her swollen, spit-covered lips. “Open,” he commanded, and proceeded to spit into Y/N’s mouth before seeking her lips on his, demanding that she swallow. “Such a good girl for me, I’m gonna fill you up and make you feel perfect, baby,” he promised. 

Sanemi pushed her down onto the bed, spreading her legs apart with his. He stroked his cock a few times before lining it up with Y/N’s sopping pussy, selfishly rubbing it up and down her slick folds a few times. He looked into her eyes, seeing her smiling up at him before leaning down and giving a soft kiss to her lips. Y/N moaned softly — unable to wait any longer as she gently wrapped her fingers around his cock, pushing the tip into her tight cunt.

He slowly entered her heat, his shaft stretching open her spongy walls, and he let out a low moan. He lowered himself so that his chest was pressed up against her and his head was in the crook of her neck, and he took Y/N’s hands in his as he started to fuck slowly into her.

“Shit, you’re so perfect for me. You feel so good, baby,” Sanemi moaned and kissed her neck sweetly. Y/N whined as he slowly pulled out just to push his cock back in again – hitting the area that made her see stars. He chuckled, “your pussy just keeps sucking me back in, sweetheart – it’s like she doesn’t want me to leave.” Y/N responded by babbling incoherently, and he looked up at her only to see tears brimming her eyes from the pure pleasure he so graciously gave, and instinctively kissed them away. “Taking my cock so well, such a good girl,” he said before his mouth reached hers, tongue darting between her parted lips before caressing her tongue with his.

His thrusts started to become more desperate, nearly grinding into her – incidentally rubbing against her clit in the process. She moaned against his mouth, her kisses sloppy against his swollen lips. “So good, ‘Nemi…” she whimpered, allowing herself to get lost in the pleasure and heat that he was providing her. He choked on a moan as he continued to rut into her, the squelching sounds of her pussy driving him nearly insane, “gonna cum, pretty. Where– where do you want it?” he asked, surprised he even had the coherency to form words as his mind was half gone from pleasure.

“Inside,” she whined, and his eyes widened, the building tension in his gut rising. “Are you sure?” he asked, and she nodded, writhing underneath him. 

“Need it inside…please,” she begged him, and who was he to deny her? His thrusts became sloppier, and he let go of one of her hands to reach down and rub her clit. The pleasure was immense, and Y/N couldn’t think about anything but him as she clenched around his cock as her orgasm flooded through her body – which consequently brought Sanemi over the edge as well, as he all but exploded inside of her hot cunt, groaning deeply as his cum flooded into her womb in thick ropes – causing her to moan and babble incoherently. “Fuck! Fuck– Y/N, I fucking love you,” he confessed in his state of euphoria, and Y/N only fully grasped what he said once he had collapsed on top of her – having just enough energy to pull him up towards her lips to kiss him once more – his lips hot and wet and swollen as they pressed against hers. “I love you too, ‘Nemi. So much,” she confessed, and he looked at her, slightly embarrassed by his own impromptu confession, but beyond elated that she felt the same way. 

He slid off of her, his softening cock slipping out of her pussy and he reached his arms around her – wanting nothing more than to hold her close to him as they both lay there on his futon. She smiled lazily in his arms and he kissed her cheek softly. “Not gonna let you go, baby, I swear. I won’t let anything bad happen to you – not anymore,” he said as he gently brushed his rough fingers against her newly formed scar. 

“I know, ‘Nemi. I promise I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered softly, and he smiled, thinking that he’d finally found someone to share himself with – someone whom he could shatter into should he feel like breaking, someone who could piece him back together so he could remain strong for the sake of others.

“I know, I trust you.”

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Oh, how wrong he was.

He swore to himself that he was only parted from her for a second as his pace and heart quickened – traversing through the blood-slicked greenery. Sanemi was plagued by loss – his siblings, his mother, his first love – but the feeling that it would happen yet again never lessened the blow nor the curdling acidity that coursed through his gut. 

He frantically searched each corpse along the battlefield, hoping, praying, that he wouldn’t find her among them. Sanemi never considered himself religious – he would rather not believe in any god than believe that an almighty being could allow such devastation to course through his life – through others' lives. However, while mustering the waning strength of his muscles to keep him from collapsing, he called out to the universe – selfishly pleading with it to allow him to keep even a single shred of happiness within his life, swearing that he would give anything to ensure her safety, to secure her life as part of his own.

But the universe turned its back on him once again, as he saw a glimpse of her hair – but it wasn’t her hair. No, Sanemi knew that her hair shined in the morning sunlight, it was beautiful and soft as he would feel it between his fingers – it was never bloodied like it was now. 

As he rushed over to Y/N, he nearly puked upon setting his eyes on her. There was a deep gash that cut through her torso – one that couldn’t have been caused by anything but the claws of a demon. He could see her entrails spewing out of it, and as his eyes traveled up towards her face, it was obvious that he was far too late. Her eyes – the ones he loved to get lost in, were lifeless; her lips – the ones that were so soft and loving when he kissed her, were parted in what seemed to be remnants of fear from the last moments of her life.

Sanemi couldn’t take it – and, as though pushed by an invisible force, he was knocked down to his knees.

A wretched sob escaped him as he reached towards her, uncaring of the blood and gore that stained his clothing, and he held her close to him. He sobbed out her name, wishing this was some horrible trick – some fucked up nightmare that he was subjected to, but the longer Sanemi held Y/N in his arms, the more he realized that this was real and that he had broken his promise once again – the promise to protect those close to him.

He picked her up and carried her to a clearing away from the battlefield – where a sole willow tree stood, and resolved to bury her there. As he placed Y/N into the ground, Sanemi wished to carve her name amongst the many scars on his body, so that maybe the blood spilled in her honor would somehow tether his soul to hers, so that he may permanently have her in a way that life itself could not provide.

Hours passed, and he finally managed to stand up once more, his heart hardened once again, and it took everything within him to not look back as he walked away from her gravesite. And, despite not wishing to look upon her grave again, Sanemi committed himself to continue living and fighting in her memory as Y/N slowly returned to dust underneath the lone willow.

And so he did — until his very last breath.

[percygranate]

Hey, so I usually don't ever ask people for money, but I am kind of at the end of my abilities and cried too much today to care about it anymore:

My dog, who I rescued in Croatia in 2017 after he was found eating dirt in the forrest, Lu, is turning 8 years old next mont. He is the sweetest and softest fur baby, and look like an ice bear. He never ever has been in a fight with another animal and thinks everyone, no matter the species, is his best friend.

He is also my best friend, and I initially adopted him after starting therapy after moving out of home for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia, and C-PTSD, which had me not leave the house for years. He is my best friend in fur and helped me to get back out into the world again after it had been nothing but awful to me.

I fixed myself, fixing Lu, when nobody wanted him and nobody wanted me.

For two months now he has been dealing with severe hip and back issues. It started abruptly, with him no longer wanting to play and be on long walk, suddenly struggling to get up, and as something our vet called “just a little muscle inflammation” and a one-week medication treatment that cost us 150€.

Lu felt better for 1 1/2 weeks and even started playing a little again before the pain came back. This time, we paid 100€ for a milder medication as the vet did wanna put him again on those string monster pills he was on before as it would’ve damaged his system. I gave him those pills every day (he, by now, is such good boy at taking them) and he did again better for a 1/2 week without daily medication.

Again, he couldn't get up, started crying at night, is no longer is able to sleep in my bed, no longer lay on his back, and he only lays on the floor, trying not to get up and walk around as he is in pain, he no longer plays… So we went to the vet again.

This time, we paid 80€ for a few of the strong medications he got in the first place. Diagnosis: “Old boy. Arthritis. Inflamed hip.” We were meant to give him two of those pills on days he is struggling more than the by now basic.

Two days ago, I was on a walk with Lu, just leaving my apartment complex, when he collapsed for the first time and fell down in the middle of a crosswalk. There was no chance of him getting up. Car drivers hated us, and I bagged for minutes that he would try getting up.

After I nearly started crying, he finally forced himself up, walked a few meters, and fell again. It was like his hips just couldn't carry him anymore. Watching him to try forcing himself up but struggling so badly is something that kills me every time I see it, but I am used to it by now, sadly.

He finally got up after 30 minutes and we walked home. I gave him his pills and after a nap we ran around pretty well, even the next day he was doing so much better. I should've not thought this was over.

Today my boyfriend took him on a walk. The same thing happened, but this time Lu screamed out in pain first. This time there was no getting up. Even after my boyfriend called me and I ran over in my pajamas as Lu is known to be a mama’s boy.

We called our vet, who told us we needed to go to the animal hospital. The animal hospital told us they would charge us roughly 2500€ for an X-ray and have Lu there overnight and treated.

The secretary from the animal hospital told us we were not allowed to pay it back at monthly rates when we asked.

We asked why it was so expensive; she replied, “We are the only ones doing this in the city, so we can choose our prices as we see fit.”

We asked how other people could afford that, crying in the middle of the street as our dog still lay there, unable to walk or even get up, and she told us, “Everyone can afford that.”

When my boyfriend told her he needed to talk to me about it, she replied, “Yeah, sure. Just call us if you actually need and want our help.”

I am disabled, suffering from Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Sympton, am in the middle of getting a POTS diagnosis, and have Autism and ADHD. I am physically due to the chronic pain not able to work. I don't have that kind of money to just whip out like it is nothing.

For my boyfriend, this kind of money is more than his monthly loan.

There is no worse feeling than when your pet is in pain and needs to be medically treated, but you can't get them the help they need because YOU do not earn enough.

We cried and tried to get up Lu for an hour before calling my mother, who I am low contact with as she emotionally abused my for decates and is part of the reason I have C-PTSD. She drove us the a Animal Hospital outside the city, as they were the last suggestion our vet could give us and the told us they would charge less for the same kind of help and work.

There, we were prepared to pay the 300€ to have Lu no matter how, even if we needed to/manage to have my mother borrow it to us.

The vet was amazing, seeing the problem the moment Lu finally stood up and walked for the first time.

His hips are fucked, probably the back too, and he has Arthritis. But right now, they can't do any of the X-rays because first his fever and inflammation need to go down.

Today we paid 100€, Lu got a big shot, and for the first big pain and fever, starting tomorrow, he will regularly take two of those initially given strong pills once a day so he hopefully can have the x-rays next week.

My dog was mentally a puppy jumping around like a little deer until this started. He always wanted to play, always ran around and did something. This took all the joy in life for him.

I’m asking for help to pay for the X-ray and whatever treatment will follow for Lu after.

https://www.paypal.me/percygranate

UPDATE:

Today we had the X-Ray appointment and paid 352€

Hips and back are okay.

BOTH OF LU’S KNEES ARE FUCKED.

Cruciate Ligament Rupture & the knee joints are fucked.

The operation will be a two timer and cost us 4000€

I am currently not able to tell you how I am going to pay this. I barely managed to pay the X-rays today.

I amcurrently not even in possession of a life insurance that could help my dog if I kick it. /ifywim

Again:

I am BEGGING, if you have even a euro or dollar or whatever to spare, please help me.

https://www.paypal.me/percygranate

(paypal also uses my deadname, so please ignore that)

[starslyt]

Valentine’s day — T. Fushiguro

Tw: cheap!Toji, use of N word, literally nothing. if anything this issue the cleanest thing i’ve written there’s NO smut

Wc: 719

Tags: @cafekitsune (mwah)

Note: i know valentines day GONE but i literally JUST wrote this on the fly after listening to valentine’s day by se’kret so.. ignore this bull shit

Toji was cheap as fuck. it wasn’t even that he couldn’t afford it, it was that he wouldn’t spend it

if wasn’t like he needed to take care of his kid because someone else was taking care of son, so it wasn’t that either

it was valentine’s day, so you thought that maybe he would’ve spent just a little bit more on you but you knew deep down he wouldn’t

your faith was restored when he told you that he was cooking dinner for you and treating you with some flowers

you were so excited the entire day. you couldn’t wait to have dinner with your boyfriend

he told you he was making steak and getting you a bouquet of flowers and bags of goodies and dessert. telling you that you deserved it for being such a good girlfriend to him

when you got home, you seen candles and rose petals all over the floor getting you all excited but what through you off was the Easter basket in the door with a bottle of water in it with some fake ice cubes

“why the fuck i got a Easter basket?” you asked confused out loud to yourself, the confusion and shock was written all over your face

Toji came around the corner with a bouquet of dandelion’s in his hand, not even tailored, they still had the roots and dirt on it.. they looked like they were pulled straight out the ground

“make a wish..” he said as you stared at him in disbelief but you made a wish anyways because you thought it was a cute gesture for you

you didn’t even make a wish, you just blew it because at this point, you were just confused

“i ran out of roses.. cus i used them for the floor..” Toji said with a little laugh, you did too because at least he put in some effort

after the bouquet he gave you a card.. a macaroni hand print with valentine’s day spelled wrong .. the same card from last year. you were speechless

he lead you to the kitchen, he say you down and gave you a plate with some food on it. your smile dropped instantly. too quickly

“you said you made steak, nigga this is Banquet salisbury steak!” you spoke looking up at him rubbing your forehead

“c’mon baby just taste it.” Toji pleased as he looked at you with a little smile. you couldn’t help but sigh as you grabbed the fork and went straight to the mash potatoes

the moment the fork touched your tongue the mashed potatoes were cold in the middle

“you fed done me a tv dinner… mashed potatoes cold as fuck in the middle” you spoke with a heavy sigh loosing your patience with how little he tried to make this valentine’s day special for you

“you know what, i’m not hungry. what’s for dessert?” you spoke hesitantly pushing the plate away in shock, you starved yourself all day.. for that?

did he even care? like did he even TRY to please you?

“alright.” Toji spoke as he walked away and went away for a little bit

Toji came around the corner with two oreos in his hand. your jaw dropped at the sight

“oh hell nah, that’s it. where the cameras at? pranks over. where my shit at?” you spoke looking at him as Toji was the one looking confused now

“girl the fuck you talking about? ain’t no cameras in here.” Toji spoke

you were just so in disbelief you sat down and just ate the cold food he served you. the both of you sat and talked

once it was over and he cracked open the bottle of water pouring it into a red solo cup with one ice cube of ice you just had to sip it

no, the water wasn’t strong enough. you needed a casamigo and a cigarette… maybe a perc

your head was hurting at this point as you nursed that solo cup to the very end

“did you enjoy it? did i do good?” Toji had the nerve to ask. you couldn’t help but laugh

“no but you did a good job at really fucking up my day.” you spoke getting up from the table “what the fuck..” you mumbled from afar

©️ Starslyt 2024 🤣

[bestworstcase]

Anon who asked abt your thoughts on what would happen to Oz if he was dunked in Grimm goop here- what do you think Oz's reaction would be to even being part Grimm (like, if a limb was grafted onto him, anywhere between that to full Grimm)?? I think he'd freak tf out (who wouldn't, even if you know the truth of the Grimm)

Sorry for bugging you lol I'm just fascinated by your thought process

i think it depends a lot on the circumstances of how he ends up that way—big difference between on purpose jumping into a grimm pool and ending up with grimm parts in the course of exploding the divine curse vs falling in at a point in time where the host is still alive and endangered if not outright killed by this, for example. and on whether it hurts.

given how cinder reacts to her arm in v4 and early v5—& i do think she chose and wanted that arm, for reasons mainly coming down to the thematic role grimm play in her story—it seems like it’s both painful and difficult to learn or relearn how to use an arm that has been regrown grimm, and salem’s comments early in v4 suggest that any apprehension or resistance to connecting with the grimm makes that…worse.

so for ozma, who’s been clinging to this idea that grimm Corrupted salem for, yknow, thousands of years, i think it would be less freaking out (in the sense of like, a panic attack) and more like—i think he might see it as akin to his curse in a way? as something in his head that he doesn’t want but which he isn’t capable of resisting so he can at best prolong the inevitable. it might be eroding him in a different direction, it might be trying to eat him rather than forcing him to eat someone else’s soul, but i think his instinct would be to go: well i know how this goes. & then struggle against it the same way his hosts struggled against him.

which, again gestures at cinder, just inhibits the synthesis that would need to occur in order for a human-grimm body to be… functional at all and not in pain, so i imagine this would not go well for him in any sense.

obv there’s like. a physical limit to how much a person can Lie There fighting a mental battle against…part of themself so he would presumably run out of steam eventually and then, perhaps, if he gave up out of exhaustion and nothing bad immediately happened, other considerations like not wanting to lie in the dirt forever would start to surface. but initially i do think his reaction would be to treat it like essentially the dark equivalent of light’s curse.

and then if/when he clawed through that enough to be like… able to move that’s when i think the panic and self-hatred spirals would start to hit.

[queentheweeb]

Alpha Izuku Midoriya X Omega Eijiro Kirishima

Deku always had problems with Bakugo growing up, especially when he used to be quirkless. When he presented as an Alpha, Bakugo did his absolute best to make him feel less than dirt, an Alpha, and quirkless. He was useless. He didn't let it deter him from his dream of becoming a hero and when he got into U.A? Bakugo almost blew up Aldera. Too bad. Flash forward two months into the year and he and Bakugo were neck to neck with Shoto right behind him. Three Alphas fighting for the top spot in everything mostly because of Bakugo? Recipe for disaster. Now flash forward another two months and now Izuku and Bakugo were fighting for the attention of the class favorite and sweetest redhead. 

"I really don't want Kirishima to be with Bakugo," Izuku said nothing as he listened to Ochako and his other friends' banter about his conflicted feelings for the redhead. He really did like Kirishima a lot. He was kind, he was sweet, and he always had positivity to give out even if it can be seen as a little toxic to the wrong person. At first, Izuku thought it was impossible for someone to radiate the way he did but, he has been proven wrong before and this time is no different. 

"It is not up to us who Kirishima wants to be with!" Iida the always loud and smart one pointed it out. Deku would be the last person on Earth to force someone to do anything let alone be with him over someone else. If Kirishima wanted to be with Bakugo then so be it, even though he feels he can be so much better at caring for him than Bakugo ever will be. He knew Bakugo. He was a dick on a good day. 

"I think we are all aware of that Iida, especially Midoriya." Midoriya looked up in mild surprise at Shoto who was staring at him with his ever-present blank face. "It's the truth." He continued to eat his cold soba, satisfied with the silence that followed what he said. At least Iida wasn't chopping the air all robotically and being loud. 

"I agree with Ochako-Chan, I would love for Kirishima to choose you over Bakugo-kun. You would treat him better." Midoriya simply smirked at Tsu. He appreciated her honest bluntness and found it endearing how she would do anything to make Ochako happy and to get her approval. He really hopes the two of them get together soon or he would just stuff them in the closet. 

"You haven't said a word though Deku-kun." He shrugged his shoulders continuing to eat his helping of Katsudon. What was there to say that they already didn't know about him?

"I...would love to have him but...the way he hangs out with Bakugo? I'm not sure." To be honest he wouldn't put it past Bakugo that he noticed his advances and simply didn't want Izuku to be happy. He believes he doesn't even like the redhead. He just doesn't want him to be with Izuku. It was quiet before Iida, surprisingly, opened his mouth.

"I hate to be presumptuous...but, I think you have a better chance than Bakugo... Bakugo simply pretends to care whenever you have Kirishima's attention...other than that he acts like Kirishima doesn't exist." Iida was the last person he expected to be helpful.

"Thank you Iida-kun." No more was said as Midoriya's mind was on overdrive. He had plans to make.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Step 1 was to start training together. Kirishima was always with the Bakugo squad and he wanted to see if he can train with him one-on-one. He waited patiently until Kirishima had a minute to himself and that's when he made his move. 

"Mido-bro?" He smiled a bit at the nickname greeting Kirishima.

"Kiri-kun, do you want to train together?" He prayed he said yes. The redhead looked stunned before he gave him a 100-watt smile.

"I thought you'll never ask! Let's go." That went a lot smoother than he thought as the excitable Omega dragged him to somewhere with more space. He glanced behind him to see the other members of the Bakugo-squad staring at them. Perfect, the way Kiri was dragging him made it seem like it was his idea all along. Midoriya continued this strategy up until Kiri started asking him which was perfect. He really enjoyed training with him because in between each session they would talk about random things. To Midoriya's surprise one day Kirishima asked to sit with him during lunch. This started becoming a weekly routine that 1-2 times a week he would sit with him and they would just talk and bullshit. This was not part of his plan but, he would take any and all time he can have with Kirishima. 

"I'm glad to see you and Kiri getting along so well." He felt himself blush at the smirk that Ochako had on her face. He hid in his arms even though he was happy as hell. He was getting closer to Kirishima and Bakugo has been extra harsh with him to the point where his own friend group is telling him to relax without attacking him. He breaths wrong in class and he wants to blow him up 

"Bakugo, If you continue to act erratically, attacking Izuku for just breathing I will place you in Class 1-b and mandatory anger management. Do I make myself clear?" Aizawa was holding a growling Bakugo who was trying to attack Izuku for God knows what. Izuku knew. His friends knew. No one else didn't. 

 Izuku shook his head, it was a miracle that Bakugo wasn't attacking him now. He glanced up and over to see Bakugo glaring holes into him. He can see the prominent veins in his neck from here. Maybe he was thinking too soon, a little too hopeful. Katsuki's friends noticed how he was acting too

"Yo, Bakugo, what is your problem with Midoriya?" It was Sero while the rest of them were staring at him. 

"I hate him. He doesn't deserve peace." Kirishima was frowning at him. Ever since he confided in him that he liked Midoriya he started acting like this. Midoriya literally doesn't do anything wrong. 

"Why Bakugo? Why do you insist on making Midoriya's life hell? What did he do to you?" Kirishima was very upset and demanded answers 

"BECAUSE HE LIKES YOU AND YOU ARE TOO DENSE TO SEE IT." What. Kirishima short-circuited and the whole table went quiet. They all were staring at Bakugo waiting for him to explain himself. "I hate that he likes you. He doesn't deserve to be happy. I don't want him happy." Kiri was disgusted with his behavior. He abruptly stood up from his table and glared at Bakugo.

"I don't know nor do I care what your issue is but, I think you should take anger management and I hope Aizawa takes you out. I don't want to look at you." He left a very angry Bakugo behind and made his way to Izuku. They needed to talk. He went up to their table, waved, and grabbed Izuku's hand. "We need to talk" Izuku simply blinked as he guided him out of the cafeteria. They sat outside under a tree with Hounddog and Aizawa patrolling due to recent villain attacks on the school. 

"U-uh, what was it-" Kiri turned to him, hands on his hips trying to be brave even though he was freaking out inside. Midoriya liked him back?

"Is it true you have a crush on me?" Izuku froze, blabbering before abruptly stopping, dropping his eyes, and nodding his head. "For how long?" Midoriya had the courage to look up at him in the face.

"For a few months...I heard Kacchan yelling at you about me, um, I'm sorry he did that-" Kirishima stopped him with a hug. The boy's mumbling stopped as he froze in the embrace

"It's fine. You did nothing wrong. I don't know your guy's history that well, I know you guys were childhood friends" He felt Midoriya tense after he said "Or whatever you guys were, but, he has no right to treat you the way he does. You're so kind, perfect, and the best choice of Alpha. You know I actually told him I had a crush on you? I should have known something was wrong when he reacted violently but, he's Bakugo that's his reaction to everything. I was just happy that someone knew and I thought he would help but, he was just trying to do the opposite." Kirishima stopped his rambling when he felt arms snake around his waist in a firm hold. It was nice. Midoriya was nice. They stood like that for a couple of minutes.

"...Now that we both know how the other feels, um, would you like to date? I don't want to rush-" Midoriya's rambling was cut short when Kirishima brushed their noses together. 

"I would love to date you Midoriya. Anyone would be glad to call you theirs but, I'm just the lucky one." Midoriya's face was as red as Kirishima's but, it was fine. Everything was going to be fine. They will be fine.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you guys think about this one?

[heliotrope-journey]

An Artisan's Bestial Retribution

Good evening, vampire hunters.

Scroll past this post if spiders give you the creeps. Skinwalkers and rotting corpses laying in the dirt aren’t the only monstrosities that found a home in the Lachrymose Blood Forest. If you’re cautious enough to look up, you’ll find a colony of venomous spiders have woven a dwelling in the treetops and their queen is none other than the forsaken Arachne. Read on if you dare.

The punishment that Athena inflicted on this monstrous, humongous creature has done little to tame Arachne’s arrogance. She has spent a couple millennia plotting her revenge against the goddess she competed with. She treated her craft in textile as a representation of her individuality. In Lydian and Greek society where women are taught to be subservient to their husbands and fathers. To see value in the clothing and the tapestries they weave is considered to be a seed that could eventually blossom into independent thought. Arachne had no qualms to spending her days at home, but it angered her that her hand with the needle would be used only for her elders to profit off of. So she chose not to marry against her father’s wishes and sell her textile pieces herself. Her success as a business owner has allowed her to defy the status quo and the mark of the goddess of wisdom was her just reward for inspiring her customers to perceive sewing as more than a burden forced upon them. In her eyes, Arachne was undeserving of Athena’s wrath. She expected her of all deities to be understanding of her desire to revitalize the use of textiles, but her punishment has caused the spider to see her as another lackey to her promiscuous father. Years have passed and in the twentieth century, upon learning that Athena had begun to conceive demigods along with the other Olympians, Arachne vowed to get her revenge by hunting them like prey. Using the knowledge she recalled from her days as a famed weaver, she climbs on top of the trees and builds a nest to store her kidnapped victims for her dinner. Due to its close proximity to Mt. Greylock, she chose the Lachrymose Blood Forest to hide in. Photo by HAMZA-CHERIF Elias on Unsplash.

Michaela sees Arachne as nothing more than a monster that must be slain to protect the defenseless. It is because she does not recognize nor understand the misfortune she has suffered, but she knows no soul should answer to someone else’s misery. No matter who she is up against, her drive to do what she thinks is right always erodes the hopelessness of the conflict. Episode 3 of Son of a Hustler will have her and Einsam’s helplessly witness Arachne’s kidnap three schoolchildren, but the second time she encounters her in a future installment, she’ll be quick to put an end to the now-depraved spider’s plan for revenge.

Thanks for supporting the series as always and have a great week!

Sincerely,

WN

P.S.: I gave an old weapon I designed in 2014 an upgrade before it can be used by the students at Caspian Academy. In comparison to their peers at magic schools in the Conifers Kingdom, they were taught to fashion their own wands from the bones that litter the Lachrymose Blood Forest. Their spellcraft instructor believed that doing so would get them t.

[botan-kiri]

So there are 4~ gods, right? God of the sun, the forest, the earth and the sea. Nika is god of the sun, Sanso is god of the earth. Sanso came from a Greek name that means Justice, and I just learned it's also Japanese for oxygen but I don't wanna change it because I'm not good at coming up with names and I like Sanso >:(.

Anyway, since Sanso is god of the earth he was the one who made the first and the most immortals. Nika made the first being but the second he touched them they screamed in agony and died charred and bleeding not seconds after they were created. Nika was terrified of what he'd done and inspired the other gods to make beings that couldn't die. Nika didn't make any immortals for millions of years after that but that's a different story.

Sanso made the first immortals, he made them to do what he wanted and not question him, and only serve and entertain him. The other two also made immortals, but less of them and didn't treat them as badly as Sanso treated his. Sanso couldn't hurt gods, in fact Nika was the one to create hurt. The thing most entertaining to Sanso was hurting things, but all his immortals were far too loyal - they knew nothing else, they had no names, no pride, because Sanso didn't think to give them any. So, as an experiment, Sanso made an entirely new immortal.

Xebec, who had the will of a god but the power of a lowly immortal. While the others immortals' first questions were 'what is my purpose?' or 'are you my creator?', Xebec's first question was 'Where am I?', almost accusatory, looking around the moon he was made on instead of up at his god. Sanso loved it. He told Xebec it didn't matter where he was, that Xebec was his, before he even had a name, and his purpose was to serve his creator. Xebec's face scrunched, he finally looked straight at his god and asked 'Why?'. And Sanso simply said That was what he wanted, and Xebec had no power to deny him.

So Xebec served him, because there was no other option. Sanso loved the shame and anger and confusion Xebec always seemed to have, like he was trying to piece together why his god had made him as he was. He loved listening to Xebec try to speak to the other immortals when he thought Sanso couldn't hear, the way he would ask them if they ever wanted more and how every one of them would look at Xebec as if he were strange. Every toe stepped out of line had Xebec punished, even if Sanso changed where the lines were to suit him. Every day Xebec grew angrier, and angrier, sometimes challenging Sanso to fight, only for Sanso to throw him into the cosmos to freeze for a while.

Then Xebec got smart, and Sanso hated that. Xebec went to Nika, who was always far too kind to lesser beings since he started grieving the pile of char he still called his daughter. Xebec told Nika the immortals could be used for more, could use their small forms and infinite time to terraform worlds into paradises where all four gods could enjoy and explore. And Nika, soft and excitable, agreed. Nika summoned all the gods and presented Xebec in the palm of his hand as if he didn't belong to Sanso and no one else. Xebec spoke to the gods as if he were one of them, said that immortals could do so much more as a species. And to Sanso's displeasure, the other gods humored the speck of dirt that was Xebec.

Sanso provided a single, solitary planet for Xebec's little project. One close enough to a sun that the surface burned and far away that it would surely be both too hot and too cold to inhabit. Then Nika put a shield around the entire planet to keep it safe from the sun, and the sea god gave it so much water, and the forest god gave each immortal a plant to put on the surface of the planet, and when the immortals asked for more they simply gave more without question. The earth was a paradise, full of mortality and change. And Xebec started speaking more and more as if he were one of the gods - or worse, above them. Implying he knew more about the mortal culture and the ecosystems than Sanso.

But the planet was alive now, wasn't it? Full of life in every corner, and a life not able to be killed.

And Sanso assured immortals could kill other immortals when Sanso gave them the tools required, so what's a planet's difference from just another immortal? So he made the planet's lifeblood corrosive and painful, so any immortal who was drowned in it would die the same way the first lower being did.

But then, the war.

(I'm gonna stop this here for now >:3

)

AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS AND EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU PUT THE MESS OF MY HEAD INTO WORDS DUDE

I love it when we plan shit

[vanyaliful]

What happened with My Year of Rest and Relaxation that made you hate it?

This book gave me depression I'm not kidding everytime I would read it it would just send me in a funk... I hated reading that journey, I hated that the heroine's twisted way of "curing" herself from her trauma and depression just? kinda? worked? like in the end she just stops taking her meds and bam she tastes life again, she feels good, not caring what happened to Reva and the other people in the twin towers. ngl I thought 9/11 would actually give her a wake up call but she doesn't give a fuck, she just restarts her life like nothing happened "oh i can hear the birds now and i watch people falling from towers to remind me to jump into the unknown" bitch what

Maybe I missed the point of this book, and maybe it's just me but I hate uncaring protags, I hate the way she feels so superior to Reva when true, she is ridiculous and annoying and complicated at times but at least she tries to live and feel her emotions and connect to people around her. and like don't get me wrong the protag has the right to end their friendship if it doesn't suit her, but she's constantly judging her and feeling superior to her when like. she really isn't. a better human than Reva lmao

I also get this is a criticism of a certain class, I totally understand being fed up with like high-class New York/artsy/rich environment which seems unauthentic and exhausting af but like. It's not like she didn't have the means to get out of it. She's rich and white and pretty and educated and could just. Start actual therapy. Search the world for something better, something to connect with. I guess I'm just mad at people who chose to completely give up when they have the means to try and do better. maybe i'm too neurotypical for this lmao

In the end I think I really didn't like the protag, the way she treats everyone like dirt in her mind when she's down in the mud like the rest of us. And it's not really addressed? like i could get writing a protag that has a sense of superiority and feeling much better than everyone else at first but I don't feel like it's deconstructed by the end of the book

Anyway idk if it was clear, maybe I missed some stuff when reading or didn't analyze it properly but from the vibes alone it was distasteful to me ahah

[astramthetaprime]

How about a Switchback?

So yeah.

Mom's back at the nursing home.

Another round of Covid went through last weekend.

I went to see her on Sunday.

And so now we both have it.

It's been mostly just annoying to me, but I'm (relatively) healthy. I do worry about my mother as she's hanging on by a thread at the best of times these days, but I haven't gotten The Call again so I assume she's still on this side of the life line. Admittedly, my normal life consists of spending the vast majority of my week here at Casa Proton, I really only go out on the weekends to get groceries and to have my one meal out a week and to go see Mom. So none of that is happening this weekend but I'll be going to pick up my groceries at WallyWorld later today. The dog needs his food and treats even if I feel completely blah and have no motivation to figure out my menu for this week. So I went with the lowest hanging fruit and it's going to be hot dogs and pizza this week. It'll make a nice change from the hamburgers and pizza it's been the last few weeks.

Autism is all about the safe foods. Not the healthy foods. The safe foods.

Moving right along, y'know that job I trained for 5 weeks for? Yeah. We finished all that work. And now they have me doing something else for which I had half a day's training. Unexpectedly. Then two days later said "nope, need you to go back to the other" and it took me over an hour to remember how to do the original job. Bad with unexpected transitions doesn't even begin to cover it. But this is the real world, right? This is how things work in today's modern offices, it's pivot this and agile that and multitasking and moving onward and upward.

Is it too much to ask to work one job, continuously, for a few years? Like 13 years? Long enough that I can retire?

My mom did the same job for 34 years. I did the same jobs with the Postal Service for 14 and 10 years respectively, data entry and then clerk.

At least I'm working at home. I cannot tell you how beneficial that is from an autistic standpoint. The lack of stress from not driving downtown to work, the lack of danger to myself and my irreplaceable car, the time saved, I log off and in two minutes I'm out in my front yard throwing balls for my dog. I can listen to music or podcasts or audiobooks during work just as I used to do back in my early days at the PO and I'm so damned grateful for that. So grateful.

I know I just have to suck it up and deal -- I haven't said anything to my supervisors. What could I say that wouldn't make me sound like I was whining or demanding special treatment? This is business, this is how it works these days, you either deal or you fall off the wheel and end up homeless and starving on the street. I don't have the leeway to make choices yet. I may never have that luxury, I may inherit nothing from my mother after all is said and done. It's so damned ghoulish to think that way. Anticipating her death so I can benefit from it. We all like to think we're good and moral people but this socioeconomic paradigm makes people inherently greedy. What is "moral" when you can financially benefit from your parent's death?

When my Daddy died, I inherited $6,000. I bought my first real computer and modem. A 286 Bondwell B-310V laptop with a black and white screen and a 2400bpm external modem. This was pre-Internet. I was dating a hacker at the time and he gave me a copy of a dialing program called Telex that let me call up BBS systems. And a copy of WordPerfect. And I was off to the races.

So yeah, kids, I'm older than dirt. Modems used to make noises. Your brain started equating those noises to joyful experiences and fun and suddenly you get dopamine from hearing the most godawful grindy modem tones.

The crazy thing? I still do.

This is still the sound of joy.