#for why Virgil and Janus can't stand each other

[miguel-manbemel]

There's one thought that came to me today about Sanders Sides, and specifically the nature of the Sides. So many people have missed one important, crucial point about the Sides. They're not human, and I don't mean that they can shapeshift, appear and disappear and all that stuff. I mean that each of the Sides represents just one limited zone of c!Thomas' psyche, and therefore they're only confined to that zone of Thomas.

What does it mean to judge them as humans? It means many people demand of them the complexity of action humans have, the same capacity to grow and evolve as if they were a fully fledged human, and that, my friends, just cannot happen, because it's not in their nature. I'll try to explain my point. We've seen the Sides learn and grow from different situations they went through in the past, and I say "have we?"

Don't mean they didn't go through the situations, I mean, did they really get a long term growth? In some cases they did, in others, the growth was incomplete or null, because the Sides are only able to grow in their own area of action in Thomas' psyche, and will remain, not oblivious, but, like that student that simply doesn't get how to solve a problem at school, and tries and tries to solve it right, but it just doesn't stick in their head. They will only learn the part of the solution in their area of expertise, and the rest will simply not stick at all.

For instance, Virgil knows if he causes a panic attack, Thomas will suffer and that will help no one, but he just can't help it, it's in his nature to cause panic attacks if the conditions are met. Other example, Roman knows that too much fantasy can be harmful, it can disconnect you from reality and that can break Thomas' heart. He knows, he's been told, but he can't help it. He's literally Thomas' dreams. Same way, Patton cannot escape the morality he was created with during Thomas' growth, Janus can't help making Thomas deceitful, Remus will show his creative thoughts at all cost no matter how it makes Thomas suffer, and Logan will always have problems to put feelings in the equation when trying to find solutions to an issue.

Does that mean that the whole show is a lie and the Sides are hopeless beings that can't learn from their mistakes? Not entirely, because when they face issues, they all face them together as a team, they go through them together and find a global solution that can help Thomas grow.

Then why do they revert back after learning so much about Thomas in the past? As I said, any item the Sides are not capable to learn according to their nature will not fully stick and they'll be prone to repeat problematic attitudes, even if they try not to.

What can be done then? The solution comes from Thomas. The Sides are Thomas and Thomas is all of them, and most important, he knows, or is learning, how to combine the different aspects of himself. In another analogy, the Sides and Thomas are like an orchestra and the orchestra conductor. Each instrument has only access to their partiture and can only play their own sound, even if they know how they're all supposed to sound together, only Thomas has the full information of the song, and only he can tell any of the Sides when to play and when to stand back.

To be fair, Thomas still doesn't have the full partiture ready, he's still writing on the fly, that's why the song is incomplete and both the Sides and Thomas are still struggling, but as the series goes on, the song keeps writing itself, slowly but surely and when it's complete, Thomas will have the full song and will learn how to make their Sides sound perfect in harmony...

Well, most probably, the song will never be fully complete or perfect, but eventually it will reach a grade of completion enough to make Thomas and his Side harmonious enough to make good, melodious songs. That is, eventually, Thomas will know how to be the best of a person he can be, because no one is perfect, but he will learn how to feel good enough, and how to be happy with himself and get as best as he can be.

That means the Sides will learn how each can help the other Sides in the areas they lack expertise so they don't repeat the same mistakes from the past. But they must learn to work together to reach that goal, they can't do it each on their own. When they learn this ultimate lesson, everything will get better for Thomas and the Sides.

[lily-janus]

The Art Of Letting Go

my first order for The Sleepy Bean Fanfic Cafe' on @tsspromptmonth this is for @edupunkn00b who wanted, a time travel AU with only one bed, time loops and any characters as long as we've got Logan in there. Hope you like it!

summary: Janus struggles with letting go of his husband Characters: Logan, Janus, a little bit of Virgil Relationships: romantic Loceit Word count: 1,506 Trigger warnings: car crash/car accident, death, grief, lots of angst, let me know if I missed anything.

Janus opened his eyes slowly, blinking as he got used to the light streaming from the window. Yesterday’s events returned to his mind slowly…

There was a car accident and... Logan is dead… his husband  is dead…

That can't be true… it couldn’t be true.

There was a knock on the door and Janus called the person in as he grappled with the reality of things. Logan was- standing in front of him?

Janus stared at the person standing next to the foot of his bed, Logan… and did he look younger?

Logan let out a sigh, “I know I'm the last person you want to see right now… but you haven't been to school for three days now, I had to check on you”

Three days? School? This felt familiar, a memory? A dream?

“I'm sorry about what I said, I know we always fight but I shouldn't have gone as far as I did” Logan stood there awkwardly, waiting for Janus to respond.

Janus then remembered this, during high school, Logan and him always fought, always trying to best one another... one fight went different though, Logan seemed more on edge and snapped at Janus harshly.

Rather conveniently, Janus got sick right after and didn't show up to school the next day, Logan felt guilty and came to Janus' house to apologize... that was the first time they really talked with each other.

The first step on the road that will eventually lead to them falling in love and getting married.

How is he back here? Was he dreaming? He pinched himself as hard as he could... and nothing happened. Odd.

"Janus?" Logan's voice snapped him back to the present... well the past that's apparently his present again?

Janus smiled, young Logan looked so cute and adoringly awkward, surely it couldn't hurt to stay here a while before trying to figure out what's happening, right?

Logan blushed, "what? You only smile at me when you're laughing at me, I don't think I did anything that can be mocked-"

"You actually think I didn't come to school for 3 days, because of our little fight? Oh honey, give me some credit, I know I can be petty but even I have a limit." He smirked.

Logan looked confused, adorable, "why else would you-"

"I'm sick, Pointdexter, as shocking as it may seem, not everything is about you." Janus teased, knowing full well how selfless Logan tends to be.

He cleared his throat, embarrassed, "ah... I see, I shall leave you to recover then." He went to leave and Janus hesitated for a second.

"...I could use company though." 

Logan stopped and turned around, frowning, "my company? You really are sick."

Janus chuckled, "indeed I am, I might not make it, would you deny a dying man's wish?"

Logan rolled his eyes, "you're not dying, Janus, but if you truly want me here... I guess I don't mind."

They spent the rest of the day together, talking, drinking tea, reading next to each other.

This was perfect, Janus almost never wanted it to end as he went back to sleep.

He woke up the next day, blinking against the light and hearing a soft knock on his door.

Logan walked in, why was he still so awkward? They spent all of yesterday together...

Logan let out a sigh, “I know I'm the last person you want to see right now… but you haven't been to school for three days now, I had to check on you”

What? That was exactly what he said yesterday...

"Logan? We already talked about this-"

"I know I said some awful things... I crossed the line, I didn't mean to go so far." Logan continued, as if he didn't hear Janus.

"Logan? I'm sick, remember? We spent all of yestarday together?"

"Ah... I see, I shall leave you to recover then." He said, as if only hearing the first part.

Something was wrong here wasn't it? They just had this exact conversation... or did they? Logan doesn't seem to remember and his memory is flawless...

Janus shrugged off the weird feeling, asking Logan to stay again, and they spent another perfect day together.

Except... the same thing happened the next day, and the day after that... what was happening?

"Logan, what's happening?" Janus tried to ask when the day started the same for the 6th time.

"Oh dear, are you sick? Is that why you didn't come to school? ...well that's embarrassing... guess I should leave then..."

Janus was starting to freak out now, "I'll come with you!" He jumped out of bed, grabbing Logan's hand and dragging him outside. 

The moment he opened the front door, however, he woke up in his bed again, Logan knocking softly on the door to his room.

This can't be happening... was he trapped? For how long?

...does it matter?

Logan is right here... why would he want out? What does life have to offer him without-

He shoved the thought away, knowing it'll lead to pain. No, even if he was trapped, he didn't want to leave... he's not ready to let him go... he just can't...

"Come in" he called his future husband in, he can stay here forever...

-------------------------------------------------

Logan felt... stuck, and he couldn't place why. He just came to Janus' house to apologize, they may not like each other but he never meant to hurt him.

But... didn't he do that already? He looked at the date, no he definitely wasn't here yesterday, he was sure of it.

The strange Deja-vu feeling persisted, however, despite all the facts pointing at it being the first time he came here.

He was walking to Janus' house to apologize, he never meant to hurt him despite their differences. But he couldn't shake off the feeling of something being extremely wrong. 

All the facts checked out, however, so he couldn't fathom what could be wrong...

He was walking to Janus' house to... to apologize...

Why could he hear a car crash?

...he never liked Janus much but he never intended to hurt him...

Distant ambulance sirens

...he- he needs to apologize to set things right...

Pain... he could feel pain everywhere...

"Come in!" Janus called from inside and Logan walked in. He looked at Janus and began apologizing.

Janus' face, struck with grief and shock...

...he's... he's not supposed to be here, does he?

"Janus? ...where are we?"

Janus froze, turning slowly to look at Logan, "...at my house of course, you came to check on me and-"

"Janus." He cut him off firmly but gently, "you know that's not what I meant... I'm... I'm gone, aren't I? in the process at least."

"You don't have to be...! You... WE could stay here... for... for as long as we want!" Janus grabbed his hands firmly, as if fearing he'll slip away.

Logan smiled softly as his husband, shaking his head, "you know this is wrong, Jan... you have to let me go."

Janus shook his head frantically, "no... no, no, no! I can't... I'm not strong enough... please I..  let's just stay... please!" He buried his face in Logan's chest, clinging to him desperately.

Logan brushed his hand over his husband's hair gently, "have I ever told you when was the first time I realized my feelings for you?"

Janus shook his head without looking up, crying, his tears staining Logan's shirt.

"We were on our way to meet our friends for a vacation, there was a storm and my car broke down, we had to walk in the rain for the nearest motel and, of course, the only room available there had only one bed. I would have offered to sleep on the floor but it was cold so we had to sleep together to keep each other from freezing."

"I remember that, the next morning I told you"

"Don't get used to it" they said in unison, then chuckled, Janus finally looking up to meet his eyes.

"That morning I realized... I liked waking up next to you." Logan said, "you'll always have these memories, Jan, and our friends will help you. You'll get through this, I know you will. I love you."

"I love you too... so much... I don't know what I'll do without you.." Janus said.

Logan felt himself slipping away and smiled, "you'll figure it out, you were always the smartest of us two." And with that, he disappeared forever, his consciousness finally letting go.

---------------------------------------------

Janus watched his husband disappear, and his surroundings soon after.

Next thing he knew, he was in his room... their room, blinking away tears. A knock came from his door and a tiny part of him still hoped it was Logan.

But, of course if wasn't, Virgil walked in instead.

"Hey... you've been hold up in your room since the funeral... how you holding up?"

Janus broke down, tears streaming down his face as Virgil went to hug him tight, "I've been better..."

But he'll get through it... he has to, he promised Logan.

[typically-untypical]

Super Secret Crushes

AU: Superheros

CW: None that I can think of

WC: 1,217

Date: 12/5/2023 (or at least it was supposed to be 🤣)

"Fuck, Remus, stop shoving," Virgil muttered as he stepped out of the way of his teammate, best friend, and boyfriend. There were three of them in the group; Janus who had a manipulative power that allowed him to gather intel and information; Remus who had a shadow power that was rather creepy when he let loose; and Virgil whose super power was anxiety, not literally, but he was up most nights working on tech that would help him out in any of the thousands of situations that might happen when his two boy friends were reckless idiots who liked to fight injustice, not crime, but injustice. Virgil also suspected he had healing powers, though he couldn't prove it. It wasn't anything miraculous like people being instantly healed but Janus and Remus both seemed to heal faster when he was around. Virgil wrote it off for the first few years, but he was beginning to get suspicious. 

They had gotten together in college, high on booze and emotions as they all realized they had a bone to pick with the way their society was set up. They had formed a team and the three of them tried to fix what they believed was wrong in the world. Though, Virgil was mostly just trying to keep them all together. It had been amazing thus far, terrifying but amazing. When Janus got caught in a building on fire, that's when Virgil started to believe he had healing powers. Janus shouldn't have healed as quickly as he did, but somehow, he had made it through all right. 

Maybe that was Virgil's excuse for trying to stick close to the super-ordinary Patton. The soft little baker was a shining light in the world of shadows they had chosen. Virgil, Janus, and Remus couldn't call a lot of attention to themselves, which meant few friends in their non-costumed lives. Patton, however, wasn't a friend. He was a business owner that the three of them just so happened to get close to.

"He's just so fucking cute, I can't help but look at him!"

"Shhut up," Janus hissed as he strolled through the hallway, grabbing both of them by the ear and pulling them away. "Look, he knows us as the three idiots who go on dates at his bakery. He doesn't know who we really are and he doesn't need to, understood?"

Virgil and Remus looked at each other before rolling their eyes.

"Of course not," Virgil muttered. "We just never see him out of the bakery. Both of us are just trying to get a good look." It wasn't just that, they all knew it wasn't just that. Patton had been working his charm on all three of them, with his cinnamon sweet smile and his chocolate eyes, Patton was the definition of adorable.

"And what happens when he sneaks up on either of you?" Janus hissed before feeling a warm hand on his shoulder.

"Um... Janus? Not that I'm not happy to see you all, but why am I here?" Patton's sweet voice made all of them jump a bit, thankfully none of Remus' shadows came out and they were all able to stand there floundering for words rather than floundering to control their powers. Remus and Virgil looked to Janus. He was the one who took charge normally and they were looking for him to take charge now.

"Apologies, Patton, you were caught in a villain fight," He caught his wind, sliding into the smoothness of his usual routine. Only Virgil and Remus noticed the shake of his hands. "Do you remember the event? I believe the three of us panicked and took you here to make sure you were okay. A hospital probably would have been a better route but sometimes in the moment these two can be frantic." Certainly not him. Virgil rolled his eyes.

"I..." Patton paused, putting a hand to his head. "I think I remember. It was at the bakery, right?" He asked and the three nodded in unison. "And Virgil threw himself over me."

Virgil blushed at that. He had created a short term force field. It was enough to keep either of them from being crushed too quickly, and he might have jumped into danger to protect Patton. So what, it wasn't like he was a hero. Patton was just really good looking. Janus and Remus were eyeing him suggestively and hiding slightly behind Janus so Patton wouldn't see, Virgil flipped Remus off. He then proceeded to grab his hood and pull it over his head.

"I just didn't want you to get hurt P, you make such good snacks."

"Oh, kiddo." Patton smiled, maneuvering around Janus to give Virgil a small kiss on the cheek. Virgil's entire face went red and Remus began laughing maniacally. "Don't think you're getting out of affection," Patton smiled up at Remus. "You were the one who called for help, right? I'm not sure how you maneuvered through the rubble but I'm sure we wouldn't have gotten help nearly as quickly without you!" Patton leaned over and gave Remus a kiss on the cheek as well. However, this time he wasn't able to pull away fully as Remus grabbed his hands, eyes sparkling.

"Stay with us!" He said, the excitement showing in every part of his body.

"I think that is a very bad idea," Janus hissed. "Patton already has a home that he needs to return to, and he has his bakery." At that Janus turned to him, "Though we are happy to help clean up the bakery. A lot of heroes’ associations don't stick around for after the destruction, and if your bakery is in need of any repair we'd love to help."

"Are you just upset because you didn't get a cheek kiss Mister?" Patton asked Janus but his smile was faltering a bit. Janus could tell this whole thing had been a bit too much for the other man. He slowly reached out, pulling Patton into a gentle hug.

"Yes, that's exactly what's wrong, and not at all that I don't want these two to overwhelm you." Patton clung tighter to Janus than he had been expecting, but he continued just to hold the other man closely without saying a word. Virgil and Remus at least knew when to back off, so they quietly slipped away, already knowing they had a mission to help get Patton's bakery back up and running.

 "Would y'all go back with me? Make sure it's structurally sound, and if not maybe I could stay with you for a few days? I don't want to be an inconvenience but I would love the help."

"I'm sure the two of them wouldn't mind in the slightest. However, it seems they've both run off. Why don't you help me make dinner? I'm sure those two will be back before we're done, then we can all check on your place together." 

Patton nodded. "Thanks!"

Janus wasn't sure how he was going to keep their identities a secret, especially when Remus was the antonym for stealth. Still, he already knew there was no turning back. The other two were smitten, and though he might lie to others, Janus rarely lied to himself.

He might be a little taken with the baker as well.

Tag List: @simplestoryteller @fantasticfangirl21 @joylessnightsky @glacierruler @tsspromptmonth

[anxiouslyfred]

Be Prepared

For @dukexietyweek prompt Pranks

Summary:

Warnings: bondage mention, spanking mention

/\/\

There was a scourge of pranks happening in Thomas's mind. Soft balls balanced over doors, toilets covered in cling-film and lids closed, doors getting locked while someone's inside the room and marbles appearing on the floor in front of beds and sofa: all manner of pranks were happening and making most of the sides double check where they're stepping, looking around the area more carefully than they ever usually would.

Virgil always did this so nobody questioned whether he was being impacted by the pranks at all.

Then there was Remus. Remus who everyone knew was getting pranked like them because of his delighted laughter each time he was gotten.

Remus who had to be the culprit.

"ENOUGH! REMUS SANDERS GET YOUR BUTT HERE!" Janus's scream had everyone going to him, Remus already holding out a paddle and trying to walk backwards so he could be spanked immediately.

"Yes punish me double D. What've I done?" He crooned, wiggling his bum again.

Janus gave him a flat glare. “Given the chaos we've had in the last week, perhaps the more appropriate question should be what haven't you done?”

“The pranks weren't me? Why would I do things that sneakily and not admit to it so I can laugh at everyone?” Remus protested, not even attempting to pretend he wasn't aware of what the conversation about. “But spank me anyway, punish me for the culprits since. Make me loud enough he can hear what I'll do for him.”

The paddle vanished from his hand when he tried pushing it towards Janus again. “One more prank, one more at all, and I will personally work with Roman to destroy every creature, monstrosity, and whore-house within the imagination. Everything you've created there will be gone, if just one more prank occurs.” He stated, cold and resolute. “Admit to your pranks and apologise to us all.”

Roman stepped back, as if to leave the room. “No. We're both Creativity and I'm not helping in utter destruction of creations and ideas that develop my stories most of the time. Find some other punishment.”

“You got everyone here!” Remus cheered, as if Roman's words had made him notice the rest of them. “How about I tell you all what I'd do for or let the prankster do to me until you agree that that can't be me?”

*

The list of offers Remus was making to whomever was doing pranks did nothing to convince most of the sides of his innocence. Logan dubiously thought this was a planned reaction to avoid actual punishment when confronted over everything.

It was still carrying on when all the sides other than Logan had grown bored and decided to do something to help Thomas or relax for a while. He was trying to wait it out in order to learn just what needed resolving to calm Remus down again.

He was fairly sure he'd be successful until Remus was summoned elsewhere in the mind space quite forcibly so given the startled expression Logan only caught a glimpse of.

*

"They actually believe I was the one doing all of this as if their caution in case of pranks hasn't made your job worlds easier." Remus began cackling as soon as he recognised Virgil.

“Yet you aren't surprised that it's me?” He countered, leaning against his door.

Remus grinned, making no move to stand from where the summoning had dropped him. “Made your job easier, didn't it? Without anyone being scared of you or yelling about exaggeratedly negative reactions. Course it was going to be you.”

Virgil smirked, eyes dragging over him. “And all those offers? Intended for anyone in the space you dared try to claim themselves the prankster, or specifically for me?”

“Can you see anyone else enjoying both bondage and making out in confined spaces?” Remus countered.

“Could've had different ones aimed at different people. Logan likes challenging logistics and we both know Janus will tie people up physically just as soon as verbally.” He shrugged, “But I do like knowing all of those things are options. I bet you have so many more than that though.”

Remus's grin turned shark like. “Take up my offers and find out.”

[luckylazylurker]

Who wants to hear my Sanders Sides (set in Steven Universe) AU~

I can't say who Steven is because it's a Surprise, but you as the reader have about as much knowledge as Steven does going into it. I'll be using "you" as a stand-in for these posts.

So it starts with Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl - with Emile Picani (listen, he's the Perfect headcanon fusion of Patton and Logan, okay?), Roman, and, strangely enough, Janus taking each respective spot.

As for Thomas, Virgil, and Remus, they take the place of Rose Quartz, Peridot, and Jasper. For fun, I might throw in Orange Side as White Diamond, but you won't really hear anything about Orange here, since we don't *know* anything yet.

On the surface those positions could potentially not make sense, so I'll dig into it with separate posts so each one doesn't get too long - they'll be under the tag TS/SU AU with the name of whoever's being talked about also in tags for clarity.

So let's start with Emile Picani (Garnet)

Emile Picani is simultaneously very forthcoming...but also pretty tight lipped. Other than that he likes cartoons and helping people, how much do we actually know about him?

He sees things we don't see (in ourselves, but hey, we can pretend that's a kind of future vision!) and takes a leadership/mediation role when interacting with others - they can talk and feel and do, but when it comes down to it, if Picani has something to say, you listen.

(I also really like the idea of giving him some depth through Garnet's Future Vision episode - imagine Picani knows something, and you pester and pester him for an answer, so he finally tells you. You thought you could handle it, and he knew you couldn't, but he wanted you to make your own choices and learn when seeking "truth" isn't as good for you as you think it is.

And so at the end of the day, when you're crying and scared and asking him *why he told you if he knew it would end up this way?* he just says "I just wanted to give you the chance to choose for yourself. I'm so sorry I ended up hurting you - I never wanted to be one of the people who hurt you."

Ugh, just 🥺)

And for awhile, that's all you know about him.

...Until you meet Logan and Patton, and then more and more things start to happen.

He argues with Janus about trust and breaking boundaries, he admits to you how inadequate and unprepared of a leader he feels like he is compared to Thomas, he breaks down into pieces and puts himself back together again multiple times.

He learns about and expresses love more often, settles into a role of supporting and mentoring you - so much like he did for Thomas, but different, better, healthier, happier - becomes more open, and learns how to get support from others instead of just remaining the rock they lean on.

And it's amazing.

(Next up - Logan and Patton! You already know they're Ruby and Sapphire...but do you know which is which? 😉)

(...no seriously, tell me which you think is which, because I'd love to hear your thoughts on it - Logan and Patton were simultaneously the easiest and hardest to place in this AU)

[greenninjagal-blog]

Fool Me Thrice

Hey guys! My three day spoiler free band is up so now you guys get to see what I did immediately after that new video (FwSA) came out! 

Summary: The aftermath of FwSA but Virgil was actually Janus in disguise the whole time. (featuring: Janus breaking down to tears and Roman being really confused.)

Word Count: 4734

Quick Taglist:@alias290 @chelsvans @coyboi300 @dwbh888 @glitchybina @faithfulcat111 @felicianoromano @harrypotternerdprincess @holliberries @jemthebookworm @killerfangirl3 @mrbubbajones  @musical-nerd18 @nonasficcollection @stricken-with-clairvoyancy @the-sunshine-dims @themagicheartmailman @thenaiads @treasureofpriam @vianadraws @welovelogansanders  

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist

“DON’T TELL ME TO RELAX!” Janus yells, but the incessant bubbling in his stomach causes the edges of his lips to quirk up anyway. It’s a ridiculous, intoxicating feeling, and it’s curling around his insides like a snake coiling around its prey. He wants to smile. He wants to jump. He wants to sing.

But Virgil doesn’t do any of those things unless under threat and pressure and Janus has to keep-- he’s still pretending-- Janus is impersonating Virgil.

He’s not doing a very good job of it, and he knows. Ever since that stranger at the food court, that stranger who might be gay, that stranger whose name is Nico Flores and happens to write songs-- Ever since Nico uttered those silly, little words, and Thomas’s Heart and Creativity had swamped the controls, the more….intellectual sides were finding it hard to….think.

Everything’s fuzzy and blurry and Janus keeps trying to hit back that buzzing between his ears that comes every time that Roman and Patton team up and get lost in their contagious excitement. Virgil, certainly, is probably docile by now, flooded with the warm feelings that make it hard to panic over anything for at least another hour because he’s too busy riding that high of the “honeymoon” phase of dating-- before he remembers that it's possible that Nico might be a Serial Killer who lures his victims into relationships before slicing their throats and hiding their bodies in the woods.

He doubts that Logan’s having fun either: he hadn’t even bothered to show up when they had first spotted Nico across the cafeteria, not even to throw out that suggestion of saying “I see from your stickers we have similar interests. Let us discuss the possibility of future copulation now.” Which, of course, spells all sorts of troubles that Janus is going to have to fix later.

Later which seems to be now, because Thomas is jittery from the excitement flowing off of Roman and Patton and he is going to text Joan all about it which requires none of Janus-Virgil’s help.

It’s a flawless escape. Janus smiles inwardly, at the gooey feeling of pride in his stomach. He did it! One whole video, completely undercover! 

It figures that Virgil would be the key. 

Of all of them...well, Janus has always known Virgil the best. Anxiety and Self Preservation have gone hand in hand since Thomas was in diapers still. Janus grew up watching the curve of Virgil’s tense shoulders, watching the flickering of his eyes watching the entry points of the room, watching Virgil’s smirk curl and his eyeshadow bloom and--

And Janus knows Virgil hates him right now, even underneath the gooey layer of good feelings Patton is pumping through all of the Thomasphere. Janus even thinks that if he pops in to check on the little ball of nerves, Virgil will come back to his senses and start a murderous rampage on his way to stop Janus from ever impersonating any of them ever again. Which is definitely what Thomas needs right now. 

Whatever. He can celebrate his victory privately.

Thomas is happy. That’s all that matters right now. The rest can wait until the good emotions in Thomas calm down and Janus can think clearly again: he’ll get out his fermented grape juice and pour it in a glass so he can feel fancy and then he’ll figure out how to deal with Logan, listen to Patton’s emotional-gushing-that-ends-in-overwhelmed-tears, entertain the Duke’s R rated fantasies with a polite smile, congratulate the Prince for his victory, and then after all that he’ll send Virgil a card via messenger dove to thank him for his...bravery.

And then he’ll go to sleep for two hours, and hopefully when he wakes back up Thomas will not be on fire.

That’s… that’s a reasonable hope, right? He’s not asking too much of the other idiot sides, right?

The buzz between his eyes sharpens for a second, as Thomas shakes his hands some more, with a grin that Janus would absolutely die for. It's almost regrettable because if anyone took a moment to look at him, to look at the way he looks at Thomas, they would see immediately what his weakness is: Janus is Self Preservation, Self Importance, Self, self, self. 

He’s weak for Thomas’s smile. The gut force that drives Virgil to do things is protection, so he tries to make Thomas recognize everything as a threat; for Roman its creation, so he tries to push Thomas to achieve all of his dreams. For Janus it's Thomas’s id wants, so he does whatever it takes to keep him happy.

A smile on Thomas’s face means that Janus is doing good, that he’s doing right by Thomas. Who cares if in the end he’s the villain of the story? Who cares about him when there’s Thomas?

Thomas thanks him again-- actually he thanks Virgil, but Janus' face flushes anyway. The feeling in his stomach washes over him, leaving his knees weak and his lips smiling. Is this what being giddy is? He suddenly understands, suddenly, why Patton subscribes to that whole “Thomas is morally and objectively the best” philosophy; It’s a nice feeling, even if it makes it hard for Janus to concentrate on keeping Virgil’s eyeshadow the right color.

Thomas rushes by him-- almost close enough to touch again and wow Janus’ hands were still tingling from that; He forgot that Virgil was always able to touch their host-- and runs up the stairs to go scream in a pillow and text Joan the brilliant news and Janus takes that as his cue.

Time to wrap it up and go. (to sleep. Oh god, he can hear his bed calling for him already.) 

But when he turns back to the last side in the room, Roman is pressing his knuckles to his lips and staring at the blinds in Thomas’s living room like he can set them on fire with his mind.

“Princey?” Janus asks, his own smile slipping. “What’s up?”

Roman snaps over to look at him-- to look at Virgil, whom he trusts and likes and appreciates and who is definitely not Janus at all. Despite that, the way that Roman is looking at him with furrowed eyebrows that would sing of a scowl if Patton had been doing his job just slightly not as well as he is currently, forces Janus to check to make sure he’s still wearing Virgil’s appearance.

“I can’t figure it out,” Roman says, looking like he just caught his best friends in the middle of decorating for his surprise birthday party. “Why?”

Janus squeezes his eyes closed trying to focus on what Roman was talking about. He knows that he missed at least one thing that was said in the hullabaloo all day, but he didn’t think it was something that Roman of all sides would be upset about. Why, what? Roman got the guy. What was so complicated about that?

Actually asking why is more on brand for Virgil.

For a ridiculous second Janus wonders if that was Virgil wearing Roman’s outfit and pretending to be him the way that Janus was pretending to be Virgil. But Janus is decently sure that Virgil can’t resist insulting Janus for more than five seconds at a time, and they’ve been side by side for hours now.

(And hadn’t that been nice? If Janus had just closed his eyes, he could have imagined the grateful smile Roman had given Virgil had been meant for him.) 

“I don’t know what you’re on about, Ro,” Janus shrugs. “But I’m gonna go. All these good emotions are like...disgusting.” He sticks out his tongue that way that he’s seen Virgil do every time that Thomas has to eat the carrots his mom put on his plate just to sell the act, but Roman’s jaw sets.

“Why did you do that?” Roman bursts out before Janus can get all the way out, “Why? Janus!”

Janus should have run then, should have pretended that Virgil hadn’t heard him at all and let the other sides argue with each other, but his name is so new and shiny and no one ever uses it. The words vibrate through the air like needles and the next thing he knows is that he’s pinned in place, frozen, and Roman is looking very not-happy anymore.

Ha, so he knew. Looks like Janus can’t get through a video without being outed.

“I know it's you, you slimy snake,” Roman says. “Will you stop wearing Virgil’s face already! I want an answer!”

Janus’s tongue flicks in his mouth, rolling over the back of his teeth as he tries to think of the best way to handle this when all of his thoughts have to process through the molasses that is the gooey happiness Thomas is feeling and his own exhaustion.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Janus says, as blase as he can make it.

Which is….maybe not his best idea. The buzzing in his head makes the rest of the room go blurry for a second, in and out of focus and it’s so very helpful. 

Roman’s face goes red, stuck somewhere between being angry and being insulted. He reaches out and Janus’ legs do that thing where they don’t work so when he throws his weight back, away, out of reach, his body goes plummeting to the foot of the stairs as well.

Roman yelps, leaning forward for a moment maybe with the intent to help him back up but Janus throws up a hand to stop him before he knows for sure. His eyelids are heavy, he realizes, and he’s tired and he really doesn’t want to have a fight with Roman right now.

“I had fun, Roman. Thank you for the... entertainment this evening.” He says, dropping the last of his stellar Virgil impression. He wonders how long he had Roman fooled, if he had him fooled at all for any point. Does he dare wonder how many of those smiles were given knowing that it was Deceit in disguise?

(He doesn’t and he resents the implication that he cares what the others think of him.)

“Congrats on wooing the boy or whatever.” Janus climbs back up to his feet and brushes imaginary dust off his tunic. Or it could be real. He’s not sure considering that he’s so tired he can’t see anything in front of him.

“You fiend!” Roman snarls, “What did you do to our Stormcloud?”

“Why don’t you go find out?”Janus suggests, with a half-assed flourish, even by his own standards, “Or better yet, don’t. In the meantime, I’ll be in my room.”

But Roman snags his arm and holds him up and Janus is acutely aware that sinking out with another side is troublesome and takes so, so much focus and energy. (And Romans touch is scalding. It’s burning. It’s white hot and Janus wasn’t aware he had been freezing before.)

“I’m tired of this game, Snakes and Ladders!” Roman says. “Tired of not knowing what you’re up to! Tired of not knowing what Thomas wants! Tired of getting backseat to self care and morality and-- and I’m Tired, Janus! Why do you keep doing this to me?!”

And hooooooo, does that strike something in Janus! The soft feelings in his chest burn right up in an anger he hadn’t even known he had been feeling. But it must have been there for a while because it boils right through him, leaving his chest smoldering and his mouth tasting like ashes.

“You think you’re tired?” He snaps, burns, blazes. There’s something in this throat, and it makes every word catch fire when it comes out of his mouth. And even Roman has enough sense to know that fire is dangerous and that he’s going to be cremated if he doesn’t step back.

“You think you’re tired,” Janus repeats, taking a step forward so that they’re nearly toe-to-toe and he can see the way that Roman’s Adam's apple bobs. “What about me, Roman? Don’t you think I’m tired? That I’m exhausted? That I know I’m going to have to sink back down and figure out what is wrong with Logan and listen to Patton and keep Remus busy and make sure that none of you morons overpower the others and drive Thomas directly into the ground? That I haven’t slept a full night since the whole start of these videos and moral dilemmas and whatever else? Every time I turn around Thomas is making another lie: to his friends, to his family, to himself! Don’t you think that I… that I…”

Roman is staring at him.

Janus’s head pounds. The room around him sways and he thinks that maybe...maybe the reason he can’t think straight right now doesn’t actually have anything to do with Patton’s elation keeping Thomas busy.

“Oh,” Janus says because he blinked and now he’s on the floor. 

He blinks again and Roman is right next to him, looking concerned-- how ridiculous. Roman being concerned for him. Ha.

“Janus…” Roman’s voice is low, which makes Janus aware suddenly that everything else had been so loud all this time. He grits his teeth when Roman waves a hand and magics up… what are those, tissues? Why would he--

Oh.

Janus is crying. He reaches a hand up tentatively rubbing away the tears, and has to swallow a laugh. Oh, he's crying. When was the last time he cried? When was the last time he cried in front of someone else? 

He's so, so tired. And that's the reason-- the only reason, mind you-- that when Roman scooches closer, a centimeter, an inch, a foot, and then rests his hand on Janus' shoulder, Janus doesn't push him off and immediately sink out to his room. It takes too much energy to lock a room, even his, from the others and Roman would surely follow after him and demand answers.

Roman’s touch is a shaky, changing warmth. Janus noticed it earlier when Roman had said the word “Bravery” and Janus hadn’t been able to form an actual response because he was so busy wondering if this was how all touch was supposed to feel. But now he thinks he can count every single atom that is touching him and the awareness hums in his veins in a way that shouldn’t be possible.

He sucks in an equally shaky breath and tries not to look like he’s leaning into the feeling. His stomach rolls around, twisting and churning to the point where it hurts. He might be able to blame this on a stomach bug. The other sides probably wouldn’t look farther than that. They don’t like him enough to look farther than that.

“Janus,” Roman says again, calling him by name and Janus wants to tell him to stop. He sounds like he cares and Janus knows it’s a lie. He thinks it’s a lie. He’s pretty sure it’s a lie.

It’s hard to tell right now, especially when his own inner desire is yearning for it not to be. He can’t trust himself when he’s like this. He always ends up doing something stupid.

Like sitting at the foot of Thomas’s stairs crying in front of Roman.

“Fuck,” Janus says, and laughs, like this was part of his grand master plan that definitely exists. He ignores the tissues Roman places at their knees and uses the back of his palms to get rid of those pesky, unprofessional tears. “My most humble apologies, my dear prince. Too much fun today I suppose--”

“Janus,” Roman cuts him off, and Janus wishes his sharp inhale was a little less noticeable. “Are you… Did….”

Janus can feel how Roman’s thumb is rubbing his shoulder, slow circles like a loading screen while he tries to weave together a sentence that makes coherent sense.

“Why?” Roman decides. “Why are you...why did you help Thomas meet Nico? Why did you force him to do it naturally without any lies? I thought you liked when Thomas tells lies!”

Janus snorts, which is a bad decision because his nose is runny and, god, now there’s snot all over his face, which just makes the lump in the back of his throat grow larger. He snatches up the stupid tissues and tears open the pack.

“I don’t--” Janus wipes away the snot, and tosses the tissue into oblivion. “I don’t want Thomas to lie all the time. Do you think I’m crazy, Roman? I have to manage every lie Thomas tells himself! It’s… It’s… imagine if you had to make a new video script every single day.”

Janus can see Roman’s confused look. It's adorable really, like a puppy that just got told to “Stay.” He recognizes that Janus is saying something, that Janus is talking to him, but the full meaning of the words is lost on him.

“If it's so taxing, why do you do it, then?” He asks, like it's some sort of choice and not his job.

“Why do you make video scripts? Why do you help Thomas practice his lines? Why do you take him on daydreams when he’s bored?” 

“Because he asks me to,” Roman answers without a single hesitation. “Wait….”

Janus leans forward pressing his chin to his knees. His eyes close for a moment, two, three while Roman struggles to understand what Janus isn’t blatantly saying.

“Imagine if Thomas asked you to make a new video script every single day. Do you think you could say no to that?”

Roman makes a wounded noise from deep in the bottom of his soul. It resonates in the air between them, like an elephant neither of them wants to admit is there. Janus breathes in deeply, and wards off the fresh round of lovely wonderful tears that come from his lovely wonderful headache.

“I’m sorry about the court case, Roman,” Janus says. The words feel dangerous, like throwing knives and Roman flinches back, leaving the spot on Janus’s shoulder painfully freezing. “I wanted-- I wanted Thomas to do what he loved. I wanted him to stop lying about wanting to go to the callback and I thought that if I just made it so that only you could make the decision it would be easier! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Janus breathes in, but somehow it seems that all the oxygen in the room had dissipated without their knowledge. He gasps a few times, trying to get a steady rhythm back but the white noise in his head and the itch behind his eyes keep throwing him off. 

There’s laughter-- it takes him a moment to realize it's his own. Which is just great, just fantastic, just what he needed. He finally got the sordid apology out and now he’s laughing. 

But Roman is looking at him not with a scowl, but with some other emotion Janus can’t quite name through his blurry vision. For a second he thinks it might be fear-- which is even more funny than the idea that Virgil had been pretending to be Roman this whole time. In the safety of Thomas’s apartment, when Thomas had just gotten the boy of his dreams, when Janus was on the ground out of secret agendas to hide, what is there for Roman to fear?

“I just--” Janus gasps one more time, ignoring the sharp pain in his chest. “Thomas deserves a win. You deserve a win. That's why I wanted to help with Nico.” He feels like his head is going to pop right off. Maybe if he asks nicely Roman will get out his sword and do it free of charge and relatively painlessly.

“So I...ha, so I spent all day playing dress up,” Janus hates the wobble in his voice. “And now I’m a day behind on managing all my work and now Patton’s going to want to talk about what happened today, and someone needs to listen to Remus and Logan is obviously not doing too well so I have to check on him-- and Virgil too even though Virgil will probably throw something at me but I have to….And then Thomas is going to need me and I have…. I have to…”

“You really… you really do all that?” Roman says in a small voice that doesn���t suit him at all. “All by yourself?”

“Well, it’s not like there’s anyone else to help, Roman.” Janus says before he can stop himself.

“I’ll help you!”

Janus freezes. Because, well.

He’s heard those words before, hasn’t he? Not all that too long ago. When the divide between dark and light was more defined and Thomas hadn’t started posting videos with them in it and Janus wasn’t afraid of the purple door in the middle of the hall.

He knows how this conversation goes all too well.

But Janus apparently can’t learn any new tricks because he still says, “No, I can do this myself.”

(“You’ll kill yourself from stress, Jan!” Virgil had yelled. “Then where will we be?”

“I have everything under control, Virgil! I don’t need any help! Just drop it, okay?”

“Thomas and the Light sides are running you ragged and you want me to pretend like it isn’t hurting you? Are you crazy? They need to stop lying so much!” 

“No! I can handle this!”

“Janus!”

“Virgil!”

“I can’t let you keep doing this,” Virgil had said, “If you won’t do something I will.”

“Don’t you dare!”

But he had. And now he was a light side, an accepted side, everyone’s favorite side. And he was slowly convincing Thomas to stop lying by turning Janus into something to be feared and avoided. How quaint. How trademark.)

Roman is staring at him. Janus can feel the weight of his eyes on him, and somehow that's worse than his hand on Janus’ shoulder. It’s heavier. It’s harder to just shrug off. It means something more.

Because Roman isn’t talking. And Janus isn’t hiding.

And if the words weren’t so hard to say, he thinks that maybe Virgil was right, and he should apologize.

“Huh,” Roman says after the silence threatens to swallow them both. He clears his throat and mercifully looks away, staring at that painting over Thomas’s couch. “I didn’t think you were stupid.”

Janus hisses at him, at the idea of him. But Roman flicks his fingers.

“Oh come on, Ouroboros,” Roman says. “You handle all of Thomas’s lies, and then you’re out there looking after each of us sides as well? I think after 31 videos we can all agree that one side being entire in control of Thomas is a bad thing! So why are you still trying to do everything?”

Janus has a very good answer. The best answer. 

But Roman’s elbow reaches out and nudges him and all his thoughts scatter into the air. Maybe that was intentional, but Janus can’t find the energy in himself to really be angry about it. 

“I…” Janus says, “I just want Thomas to be happy.”

“So do the rest of us too, Snakecrates!-- Get it? Like Socrates?-- Not gonna lie, your way to make him happy is truly… the foulest of methods, but at the end of the day we’re all a part of him.” Roman says. “Maybe instead of trying to puppet master this you could...try working with us? Like showing up as yourself instead of using Virgil’s or Logan’s face again?”

Janus snorts again. The backs of his eyelids shoot bright red stars across his vision. “As if. None of you would listen if I did things that way.”

Roman nudges him again. “It's just a suggestion, Slitherous Snape.”

“How many of those do you have?”

“Nicknames?” Roman pauses, and Janus guesses that he’s counting on his hand. “Dunno. A lot. I never get to use them because you show up in someone else’s clothes and I don’t realize it’s you. All the more reason you should listen to me and just show up as your usual self!”

Janus must have made a noise, but his brain is too preoccupied with the fact that the carpet in Thomas’s apartment is actually really comfy and if he buries his head in his knees the room is actually dark. His headache is a dull repetitive thob, like a drum beat that if he doesn’t focus too much on becomes a noise he can fall asleep to.

“I thought you hated me.” He admits, in a quiet tone and only partially hopes that it was too low for Roman to hear.

“Fool me once,” Roman says in a soft tone, humming like it's a melody. “Shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice…”

He sighs deeply.

“And I think that means we need to actually think about talking out things like adults.” Roman nudges him again, and then places his arm around Janus’s shoulders. “But not right now, when you’re half dead from exhaustion. Let’s get you to your room, Jan.”

There’s a cold feeling around both of them, washing over Janus’s muscles like a flood, as they sink down. His eyes open briefly just in time to make out his own room surroundings before Roman drops him on his bed.

Oh, it’s really comfortable. Has his body always sunk into his mattress like this?

“Get some sleep, Deceit,” Roman says.

“Wait... Logan…” Janus definitely does not whine.

“I’ll handle the nerd.” 

There are so many reasons why that’s a bad idea-- Janus knows there are a bunch of reasons because he wrote them down on flashcards to study in between grieving Virgil leaving the dark sides and managing the lies Thomas tells day to day and the ones he had going on forever and the ones that sides told each other and--.

But before he can say any of that, Roman sifts a gentle hand through his hair and Janus loses the ability to think again.

(Janus really doesn’t remember when Roman gained that power.)

He curls up almost unintentionally on his bed, and Roman makes a noise that could have been a laugh, if Janus cared enough to check.

“Sweet dreams,” Roman says softly.

“W…wait!” Janus gathers the last bit of his energy, the residue from the gooey feelings Thomas was harboring, and surges after Roman before he can leave all the way. “How did you... know it was me? And not…”

“Virgil?” Roman offered. “You kept messing with the eyeshadow, Janus. He has that angsty charcoal color on twenty-four-seven. You kept changing it to purple. I mean I liked it, but that’s not his style.”

Janus frowns. “No….he has the purple when he’s happy. I know he has the purple… He only started wearing the black...when he was trying to freak out Thomas.” He sighs and settles back into his pillow. “It glows...when he’s happy…”

Janus has plenty of memories about that, too. They were some of his favorites: Virgil on Christmas morning when the prospect of presents was more scary than the idea of all Thomas’s relatives coming over, Virgil on late nights watching cryptid history shows with Remus and talking about marrying Mothman when Thomas got older, Virgil right after he first appeared to Thomas, glowing in all senses of the word because their host knew who he was. 

Janus remembers being a little upset when Virgil covered it up, because it was another lie then: Virgil was hiding part of who he was and the three of them had always agreed on no lies between them. 

Besides Virgil had always looked younger with the purple, looked more happy, looked more approachable. He looked like he was excited to see Janus and not like he would rip out his throat if they ended up in a room alone together. 

Virgil was purple long before he had been black, and Janus thinks he might have been in love with him even before that too.

Who had he been talking to, again?

Janus gets the distinct feeling something is wrong, but his pillows are comfy, and his mattress is soft and he’s been running on fumes for far too long. He’s fast asleep before he realizes that Roman is still in his room, frowning, and wondering if that meant Virgil had never actually been happy around the Light Sides at all. 

[hyperfixated-homo]

🌻

right now im having thoughts about how people dont mess with the mechanics of the mindscape enough. i mentioned this partially when i posted about how people don't utilize the sides rooms enough (and i stand by that, there is so much missed potential there) but i'm also talking about some of the functions of each side kinda?

like, one specific example, ive seen a couple fics where logan is in charge of this library that contains all of thomas' memories, and thats cool and all but i think all of them kinda gloss over the fact that cannonically, patton is in charge of memory keeping. like, he is the nostalgia parent side. why do we assign that role to logan so often? (maybe not that often, but often enough that i think about it at least)

the main exception i think is janus, who's job is literally to hide things from thomas, and the fandom has portrayed doing that in every way ever.

but since im here, im just gonna list some of my favourite ideas for other functions/mindscape fuckery people could use (basically, headcannon dumping)

Logan being in charge of Thomas' base functions. He is the brain, so I think a lot more of his time would be spent making sure his brain is sending the right signals to all the parts of Thomas' body, instead of just working on memories and planning. This means we can still keep our workaholic Logan agenda too :)

The subconscious is where everyone's rooms are, not just the dark sides. When a side is not actively being used, they go back to the subconscious, because they are always in the back of Thomas' mind. The "mind palace" is the only place they can all meet without being affected by the room they are in

Adding on to my previous point, in the past the dark sides would only be able to talk to each other if they went to each others rooms, since more often than not the light sides are occupying the mind palace. I like to believe they've all kinda got an immunity to each other's rooms now, from how often they accidentally slept over

The imagination isn't really a thing, it's just Roman and Remus creating new rooms and areas already connected to the core mind palace (which roman technically created as well?)

Remus lives in the walls. This isn't a joke. He would.

Oh also, I've seen stories where Remus is the only side who can break into any room in the mindscape, and I support it wholeheartedly. He's the most intrusive mf ever and he's so proud of it

I mentioned before that Patton would be in charge of memories, but I don't really think that's true. I think they all control memory management to some extent. Patton is in charge of nostalgic childhood memories, Roman is in charge of Thomas' knowledge of music and theater, Logan is in charge of education, Virgil is in charge of everyday memories (remember when Logan threw a laptop at Thomas' in AA to prove that point?) as well as a couple embarrassing ones from the past, Janus is in charge of forgotten/unneeded memories and Remus is in charge of all the stuff Thomas probably doesn't want to remember but will anyways because life sucks. Yeah I don't really know which ones go best for Janus and Remus but I think it would be something like that?

I like to think that Janus doesn't actually have scales. Think about how fucking funny it would be if at some point we learn that no, it's literally just makeup. He started doing it for fun but now it's become a staple of his character. He's basically cosplaying himself. (this is a joke hc, Janus with scales gave me some of my favourite angst fics to date)

I think it would be funny if Logan had a train of thought going through his room at all times. I doubt he would get the joke

Going back to my previous post, I'm still thinking about how the world might fuzz or disappear around the edges when it's too far away from Thomas. Like, think Coraline in the other dimension. The sides can go on walks but they always end up back in the same place

there are probably other thoughts i've had that I can't think of right now, but these are a couple fun ones

[beauty-and-passion]

So, how do you think Orange will interact with everyone, going off what we've seen so far?

Oooh, that's interesting! Well, this is all speculative and it will mostly depend on how Orange's character will be, but let's try it anyway!

----

PATTON: considering that Orange should be his brother, things would be very interesting. He could be a nice, affectionate (even if hotheaded) brother, who wants Patton to grow a spine and impose himself. Or he could have a lot of resentment towards him, because Patton's moral imposed Thomas to be good at all costs and the consequence was shunning Orange away.

Both ideas would be very interesting, but I'm very weak for the second one because angst is never enough.

----

ROMAN: Roman doesn't like the dark sides, so why would he have a nice relationship with Orange? It's very possible he can't stand this guy, just like he couldn't stand Virgil and he still can't stand Janus and Remus.

Orange... it depends. He might be sarcastic like Janus, insult Roman or lash out against him. There are a lot of possibilities.

----

LOGAN: that's currently the most interesting relationship we all want to see, because there's a huge chance Logan would be afraid of Orange. It's 90% confirmed that Orange will be the embodiment of Wrath and wrath defines logic. So if we have Logan scared of him, that would be veeery interesting to see.

But Orange’s actions towards Logan would be even more interesting. He could be a scary Side who looms over Logan, follows him in his every step and lurks in the dark, waiting for his chance to take control.

Or - and I really like this possibility - he might present himself as an ally and offer his services to Logan. On a superficial level, it would look like he does it just to reach Thomas, because he’s a Dark Boy TM. But on a deeper level, it would be a great way to show how useful he can be - and this alliance would give a great push to Logan's character arc, so I’m all for it.

----

VIRGIL: I’m sure Virgil and Orange are definitely very familiar with each other, because they’re both dark side. And, just like it was for the previous two dark sides, Virgil will definitely not like Orange. Maybe because he will be a violent Side (or appear as such?), maybe for other reasons. But we can be 200% sure that Virgil will not like him.

While Orange... who knows. Maybe he will ignore Virgil or like him. But I would adore if he’s resentful. I would love if he’s the only Side who will face Virgil and tell him he’s an hypocrite and a traitor, because he left his family to go to the Core Sides. I want Orange to hate Virgil for this and be very, VERY bitter.

----

REMUS: Orange’s nature makes him a good fuel for any kind of action - creative ones included. So they could be a great duo, with Orange being the fire from which Remus gets all the energy he needs for his creative ideas. And they could enjoy the dark, violent turns of them.

I just want them to be chaotic friends, is it too much to ask? ;P

----

JANUS: again, it depends. We know Janus is the Side who hides him, just like he hides Remus. And we know Janus and Remus have a friendly relationships. so he could have a friendly relationship with Orange as well.

And here we have two big possibilities:

A) Orange might appear as nice and friendly but secretly hate Janus because of his confinment. He might pretend to be nice, while all he wants is to kill the other Side.

B) Orange adores Janus. He’s his biggest fan and does everything he says, because he trusts him with his life. And he could do it, because Janus gave him a new home, when Patton sent him away from the first one he had. Janus accepted him for who he is, while his own brother did not.

That could connect beautifully with a potential resentment towards Patton and explain his hate for Virgil: how dare Virgil left for the brother who never liked him? It’s very easy to see Virgil is a traitor.

Also (and I know it’s a small thing, but it works), chromatically speaking, yellow and orange have very, VERY similar tones and that could explain a potentially close relationship between these two.

[djpurple3]

For your writing prompt request, maybe something casual like Creativitwins bonding? Maybe they made a ruckus and the others are a bit tired of it and the twins are making food together or something both to say sorry and also as bonding time? Hope it helps and don't forget to stay hydrated and be kind to yourself you amazing human being!

Thank you for the prompt! i think i bungled the tone a little, but it's creativitwins being There for each other and also doing some baking. If there are typos im sorry it's like 5am and i can't sleep so im writing instead.

full fic under the readmore

--- --- ---

Roman was in the kitchen, pointedly and carefully mixing the batter with very steady and repeated motions. He had elected to do it by hand, mostly because he didn’t know where the mixer-insert-things for the electric mixer were, but he had to admit, his hand was cramping a little.

But he’d rather focus on his cramping hand than the argument he had with Virgil. And Patton. And he knew it was bad because Logan didn’t even talk to him afterwards, and usually he’d get some sort of lecture.

He shook his head and made sure to scrape along the edge of the bowl, where some of the mix was still uncombined.

Footsteps dragged his attention away from the bowl, and he looked up to see his brother descending the stairs, looking… oddly upset. Remus didn’t usually get upset, as far as he knew, so this was already weird. And, well, what was pissing off one more person today?

“Why the long face?” he called, still mixing his batter even as he watched Remus’ face twist.

“Had an argument,” Remus replied, and he rubbed his arms before making a beeline to the kitchen too. “…Jan’s not very happy with me right now. And Logan was pretty pissed too.”

“That might have been my fault,” Roman sighed. “I… I fought with V and Pat today. Think I might have upset Logan too. So… sorry.”

“Whatever,” Remus huffed, and he sidled around the counter to stand beside his brother. “It’s… whatever. What are you making?”

“Muffins,” Roman said distractedly. “They’re supposed to be a peace offering.”

“…The only sort of offering they’re gonna be is a burnt offering to the gods,” Remus leant over and poked at the mixture. “Aren’t you not supposed to overbeat muffin batter?”

Roman froze, before looking down at the bowl for the first time in a good few minutes, and blinked so very slowly as he realised his brother was very right, and he’d thoroughly ruined this batch.

“Oh,” he said, and hated the fact that his voice was wobbling. “Oh, bother.”

“Sorry there, Poo-bear,” Remus took the bowl out of his hands. “But I mean, we could still make ‘em.”

“I couldn’t give them to Patton and Virgil, and Logan, if the texture’s awful.”

“I guess not.” Remus looked down at the bowl, shrugged, and set it aside. “But a peace offering is a good idea. Wanna divide and conquer? I’ll help you if we make enough to give to Janus as well.”

“Sure,” Roman said, and Remus gave him a hard look as Roman’s voice cracked, and he genuinely sounded very close to tears.

Roman turned away for a second, putting his back to his brother, but it was impossible to fully hide the gesture of wiping his face.

“I know,” Remus hummed, patting Roman’s shoulder. “It… it’s really been one of those days.”

Suddenly, Roman spun on his heel and launched himself at Remus, throwing his arms around him and pulling his brother into a tight hug. Remus reeled for a second, before his brain caught up with he situation, and he returned the favour.

“At least you don’t hate me,” he said, before he could think not to.

“You’re my brother,” Roman replied. “I don’t hate you. I also do, because you’re my brother, but I love you. Y’know?”

“I know,” Remus agreed with a laugh that was far wetter than he would have liked. “You got my back and I got yours.”

“Of course,” Roman agreed, and they separated to stand side by side in the kitchen.

There was a beat of silence, where all they did was take in the state of the room, before Remus turned to Roman.

“I’m not normally the one who says this,” he said, with a hint of a smile playing about his face. “But it’s a fucking mess in here.”

Roman laughed at that, but he was rubbing his neck awkwardly. “I was a little pre-occupied.”

And yes, there was stray ingredients and bowls and equipment and god knew what else strewn everywhere, and Remus shook his head and lifted his hands like an orchestra conductor, before gesturing broad and wide, and Roman watched the mess clean itself, including the failed muffin batter disappearing into thin air.

“Let’s start again,” Remus suggested. “And let’s not do muffins.”

“Fair enough,” Roman agreed. “I don’t even think Virgil likesmuffins.”

Patton came downstairs two hours later, drained after lengthy chats with Virgil and with Janus, to find both twins in the kitchen, laughing as they finished making something. He… he couldn’t see quite what, but Roman had a pitcher of chocolate ganache and Remus had a piping bag full of whipped cream, and they were too busy laughing at each other to notice Patton descending the stairs.

However, that changed when he hit a creaky floorboard, and the twin’s heads snapped up like children caught doing something they shouldn’t.

Roman did his best to smile, though it was very shaky.

“Hi, Patton,” he said, and it was thin and strained. “I… we’ll clean up, I promise.”

“Okay,” Patton said, clasping his hands in front of him. “…Whatchya making?”

“Eclairs,” Remus said, and the look he shot Patton was almost suspicious, like he didn’t trust he wasn’t going to breeze in and upset Roman again.

Neither of them missed how Patton perked up at that.

“Here,” Roman gestured his friend over, and Patton closed the distance to see a huge batch of iced and creamed eclairs sitting in rows on the bench. There was only a half-dozen unfinished, which they were quickly working on remedying. “Help yourself. As… as an apology.”

Patton smiled, this time a lot more genuinely. He knew the sort of work that went into a dessert like this, and he knew Roman wasn’t the best at verbal apologies.

“Thank you,” he said softly, trying to let his tone carry the extra meaning he intended. It worked, he thought, because Roman’s eyes flicked over to him from the éclair he was still icing, and he smiled a little back.

“Of course,” he said. “…Would you mind taking some to the others, too?”

“I don’t know if they’ll want to see us,” Remus agreed, finishing filling the last few eclairs with cream, not looking up at Patton.

“Of course,” Patton agreed. “Let me grab a plate, then.”

He left with a plate of eclairs to do the rounds with, leaving Remus and Roman to clean up.

“That went smoothly,” Remus noted as they magicked away their mess.

“I’m glad,” Roman sighed. “I hate it when this sort of thing happens. I mean, I bring it on myself, but I hate it.”

“Hey, it takes two to tango, alright? It’s not just your fault.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

Remus loaded up a plate with the pastries before stacking the rest away in containers in the fridge. He handed Roman a couple bottles of soft drink that he had to move out of the way to fit the treats in, and smirked at him.

“Let’s have a little party of our own, then, while they’re all moping.”

“So we can mope in our own time.”

“If that’s really how you want to spend our little party, then fine.”

Roman laughed at that, and grabbed some glasses as Remus closed the fridge and preceeded to carry the plate over to the couch.

Afternoon tea was the only really good and fun part of their day, that day, with the TV tuned to the dumbest game shows they could find, laughing at the stupid contestants and eating the best treats they’d made in a while until the day mellowed out.

[bruisedribs]

@anxiouslyfred so I wanted to clean up the au in a new post and also. involve androids. apparently.

mafia au - fake marriage dukeceit, real dukexiety and roceit, possibly rosleepceit?

setting: chicago because we needed a setting and it was the first american city i thought of (what do you mean i just want them to vandalize the bean statue)

The Chicago Mafia is involved with fun things such as drug cartels, weapon dealings, black-market auctions, money laundering, and prostitution. They have two ways to ensure absolute loyalty (and to avoid pesky matters such as people snitching or attempting to sue them) - firstly, to make sure all members of the mafia have legally binding ties to the family such as marriage, and secondly, to use androids for all the shit jobs (like manufacturing drugs, going into dangerous places, being prostitutes... bodyguards!)

Obviously, they don't want to advertise that androids exist. So androids are a very black-market thing. They look and act just like humans! But you can force them to obey! And hurt them however you want! Fun for the whole family.

Anyway, they don't use androids to actually deal the drugs, just to make them. Which means that maybe sometimes the drugs get into the wrong hands. Like, in the hands of Virgil's dealer. And maybe this gets Virgil into trouble and he has to work for a drug cartel for a while because his dealer sold him out to save their own skin. (It didn't work. Obviously. The dealer disappeared - unclear if it was the mafia or Janus.)

Virgil and Janus go way back. They're ride-or-die. They had shitty upbringings, found each other, and have stuck together since. Janus has lots of experience keeping them out of trouble.

Except then Virgil accidentally overhears something juicy. Maybe an android override code. Maybe something about how the hierarchy is falling apart. Whatever it is, it's big, and he could definitely lose his life if anyone found out that he knew.

So of course Virgil shares this extremely dangerous information with Janus during a panic attack. Janus immediately gets onto doing whatever they can to make sure the mafia leaves them alone.

One interesting way of making the mafia leave them alone in the long run? Marry someone in a high position. Which is exactly what Janus does.

Remus accidentally wandered into an important deal that took place over a game of poker. To be fair, the restaurant front would usually have been open at that time of night, and the back entrance was unlocked. Remus knows one of the non-mafia staff and has chilled in the kitchen with no problem multiple times in the past.

This time, however, Remus ends up not only participating in the poker game but also winning, and one of the two mafia branches immediately claims him. The one with a higher standing in the hierarchy, which would have more to lose if it was found out that Remus was a nobody.

So now Remus is apparently a part of the mafia. He knows enough that they can't tell for sure that he's a nobody or not, and it wouldn't be the first time that someone in a low position gets an extreme promotion. But Remus is enough of a question mark that they have to ensure his loyalty, and so Remus suddenly has a folder of potential spouses to look through.

Marrying someone in the mafia would mean having to stay in the mafia, so Remus decides that marrying a stranger is the best way to get out of this. Good for him then, that Janus says yes.

It's during their impromptu wedding that things start to fall apart. Remus had invited his twin Roman as his witness, and Roman falls immediately for Janus. Janus had invited Virgil to be their witness, and Virgil and Remus definitely click. It could all have easily been solved with some exchange of identities - Roman's idea - if not for the mafia connections that three of them have.

At first, Janus and Remus agree to keep Virgil and Roman in the dark, but Virgil also has to be under their protection. Roman ends up being excluded, and he has no idea why. Remus is his twin, and he thought he had something with Janus, and he was at least friendly with Virgil, so why was he suddenly the outsider?

Enter Remy. He's secured a good position in the mafia after spending years undercover; he knows who Remus is, and from there it's not hard to find the connection to Roman. So Remy offers Roman a deal - he'll give Roman information in exchange for coffee.

It's a suspiciously one-sided deal until Remy follows Roman to introduce himself to Remus, Janus, and Virgil.

Now Roman also has to be protected. Which means that Roman and Virgil end up spending a lot more time together. Usually, Roman would spend his time going to auditions, but it's too dangerous to go out alone and Virgil refuses to come with him. Roman's new creative outlet is to channel the whole situation into his writing. The problem is, for whatever plan Janus is putting together with Remus and Remy to work, there can't be manuscripts detailing everything. Virgil offers to edit Roman's writing with the intention of sabotaging it; it kind of works. Kind of.

While Roman and Virgil are... "bonding". Remy and Janus have started a game of seducing information out of each other. Making Roman even more confused about his relationship with Janus. And of course, Remy has been flirting with Roman too.

Besides that, Janus and Remy are working on an actual plan. They need to figure out who the head of the family is, and they can use Remus' position to start sabotaging. It would be too dangerous for Remy to get directly involved in sabotage.

Remus takes to playing up being a human disaster while continuing to do the work he's assigned. If the people around him start getting harmed... then wouldn't it be a good solution to exchange them for androids? Then Remus can do less direct damage.

But! Who said that androids can't gain sentience?

Now there are two ways to destroy the mafia from the inside out. Unravel the hierarchy to put Remus on top, or free the androids. Without them, the mafia suddenly has a lot less manpower they're willing to risk.

[spicycreativity]

Intertwined - Chapter 1

Rating: Teen

Content Warnings: It's a hanahaki fic, so. Mild body horror, blood, respiratory illness. (Starts at Ch 3 and gets worse from there).

Characters: All

Pairing: Moceit

Additional Notes: This one was supposed to be Darker and Longer, but turns out I'm not in the headspace to write angst atm, so it ends up moving p fast. Swaps between Janus and Patton's POVs. Post-PoF, light angst. Not whump. They both get hanahaki, but there is absolutely no version of Moceit in my mind where Janus isn't the one who falls first. My AO3 username is WizatdGlick.

Summary: The story of how Janus and Patton find each other at rock bottom and fall in love anyway.

A gentle knock on Janus' door drew him out of his thoughts. He donned a mask of triumph as he rose to open it, straightening his hat as he went. It couldn't be Remus; Remus never knocked so softly, which meant that Janus had to perform. He slid into the role with difficulty, struggling to find the edges of this gloating persona when all he felt was numb and tired and lost.

It was Patton at the door, and Janus felt everything slip, and Patton's eyes lit up with recognition, and all of Janus' resolve fell away in the face of that beseeching gaze.

"Come for another debate?" Janus asked in a low voice, making no effort to hide his ironical smile.

Patton smiled too, though he dropped it a moment too soon. Janus got the distinct impression that Patton was also far too wrung-out to put on any kind of act tonight. "Just came to check on you."

It would be as natural as breathing for Janus to draw back, place his fingertips delicately to his chest, widen his eyes. ' Check on me?' he would say, all faux-innocence, ' Please, Patton, I'm not a child. I don't need your pity.'

But he didn't.

Here was Patton, reaching out, and hadn't that been what Janus had wanted all along? That tiny, fervent flame that he hadn't allowed himself to acknowledge, that smallest ember of hope that someone might just give him what he was convinced he had to take.

The seconds stretched out until the silence verged on awkward, and Janus' pride stood up to do what his cunning would not: "I'm fine." He was fine, strangely. Not happy, as he perhaps should have been, but nothing hurt.

Patton's brow furrowed. "Am I supposed to believe that?" he asked gently.

Something warm and soft and dangerous bloomed in Janus' chest at Patton's look of confusion. He had freckles on his nose, scattered like spilled cinnamon: a trait assigned by Thomas’ subconscious. "Patton," Janus said, flicking his gaze upwards to meet Patton's eyes. "Would you like to come in?"

"To your room ?" Patton asked, eyes widening. He looked past Janus' shoulder and Janus fought not to move and block Patton's gaze with his body. He had just invited Patton in; there was no point getting shy now. "Won't that, y'know, do something to me?"

"It's just a matter of self-control," Janus said, hoping to get a smile out of Patton.

Sure enough, Patton did smile. "What color is my shirt?"

Janus said, "True blue," and stepped backwards to let Patton in.

It was a risk to bring someone into his room like this, but he felt unusually clear-headed tonight, calm and strangely secure despite the fact he had just let a known enemy past his defenses, and despite the exhaustion that made every breath feel heavy.

"Warm in here," Patton remarked, looking around.

Janus motioned him over to a set of armchairs. To be seen was to be judged, and he wasn't sure what he would do if Patton found him lacking again . "I have a question for you, Patton."

In the low light, the tear tracks on Patton's cheeks glimmered when he tilted his head inquisitively. "You do?"

Janus nodded, slow and calculated. He was sure he already knew the answer to the question, and preemptive anger bubbled thick and hot in his veins. "Who," he said, unable to keep from glaring, "came to check on you?"

"Well," said Patton, "Ah… They don't-- Everyone's upset right now--"

"And you're not?" Janus demanded. "And don't you dare tell me that you're fine." His emotions were running too hot; he needed to check himself, but seeing Patton make excuses filled him with a passion he'd only ever felt on Thomas' behalf.

"I am--"

"Don't."

"But I have to be," Patton whispered. "I can't-- I know they told me… They said it was okay for me to be sad, but--"

"If you fall apart, there's no one there to pick up the pieces," Janus guessed. "Sure, you can be sad, as long as it doesn't interfere with your role."

"Don't be mad at them," Patton pleaded, and Janus realized with a jolt that he would get into no one's good graces by slinging around insults.

"It's just hard," Janus said plainly, only half-noticing the words coming out of his mouth. He had just become aware of a keen and sickening new desire, borne on the back of a newfound respect for Patton that he had even lasted this long without having some sort of spectacular breakdown. Janus' whole chest ached with it, that and the equally sickening knowledge that he had just become horrifically vulnerable, that he had fallen under a spell he could never hope to break.

He saw it in his mind's eye: he saw himself stand and lean over, take Patton's jaw in his hands, kiss him long and deep and slow. He saw himself lay his body and soul bare before Patton, getting on his knees to forgive Patton all his perceived flaws. He meant well, after all. He only ever meant well, and it wasn't really his fault that those good intentions were capable of morphing into a cruel and deadly weapon.

But he would plunge that weapon straight into Janus' heart before their lips could ever even meet. Janus could see it now, Patton pulling away in confusion and disgust. His tenuous patience would give out then and there, and Janus would have no hope of acceptance ever again. Same for Remus, probably. They would remain Dark Sides forever, damned to be eternal outcasts. All thanks to Janus' pathetic inability to control himself.

"Why do you care so much about…" Patton hesitated for a moment and gave a shallow sigh. "Well, about me?"

And now Janus found himself walking a chasm’s edge. His instinct was to lean hard into the opposite of the truth and insult Patton so deeply that he left and never came back. Eliminate the threat. But that wasn't an option now of all times. No, he had to maintain a friendship with Patton, somehow. He had to keep himself under control. How fun. "You're a part of Thomas," Janus said. He paused.

"So are the others."

"You've earned my respect."

"Oh," said Patton. "Wow, um. Gosh, that's…" His lower lip trembled. "I should go," he said in a broken voice.

Janus surveyed him in silent agony, teetering on the precipice of a lie. With a monumental effort, he pulled himself away from it and opened his arms. "Come here."

The floodgates opened. Patton fell into Janus' lap, already sobbing. Janus held him, all his muscles stiff and awkward. He was much smaller in the mindscape than he was in Thomas’ eyes and it was difficult to support Patton’s much larger frame. A sharp pain flared in Janus’ collarbone where Patton had buried his forehead and his tears were already starting to seep through Janus' clothes. He cringed at himself and the absurdity of the situation, wishing he had some way to make it better. He should have had words for this, all the right words to soothe away Patton's worries and set him right again. But he was so tired.

"I'm s-s-sorry," Patton said through shuddering sobs that dug his forehead harder into Janus' clavicle.

"It's okay," Janus said, concentrating hard on keeping the effects of his room at bay.

"Are you--" Patton sniffled " --sure you're okay?"

A rush of affection melted Janus' heart and he sighed and held Patton closer despite the shooting pain in his collarbone and the ache in his arms. Even in the midst of a post-breakdown breakdown, Patton was self-sacrificing (self- destructive) enough to check in on him. "You don't have a selfish bone in your body, do you?" Janus sighed, lamenting Patton’s bleeding heart. For some reason, this only made Patton cry harder. Janus cast his mind back to the last time Remus was this upset, found nothing, had to speculate. He and Remus and Virgil were self-sufficient, secretive. When it came to personal crises, they weathered them alone and bore the aftermath in stoicism. "Do you want me to play with your hair?"

"I don't know," Patton sobbed into Janus' chest.

Janus sighed and began to run his fingers through Patton's honey-colored hair, grateful that the thick material of his gloves kept their skin from touching. It was better this way, and a good reminder for Janus. He guarded his heart so closely for a reason.

 

Janus, despite the discomfort from the awkward weight distribution and the clammy feeling of cooled tears on his shirt, was half-asleep in the chair by the time Patton stopped crying.

"Sorry," Patton said, pulling away, and even with snot and tears all over his flushed cheeks, even with his eyes all red and puffy behind his fogged-up glasses and his hair standing up at strange diagonals from Janus' attempts at comfort, he was radiant.

"For having feelings?" Janus asked, gently imaging himself into a new, dry shirt.

"For making them your problem." Patton took his glasses off and began to polish them on the hem of his own shirt.

"Patton, I need you to know this." Janus waited until Patton looked at him before continuing, "I owe you nothing. If I had wanted you to leave, I would have asked you to leave and thought nothing of it."

Patton nodded and went back to polishing his glasses. They were silent for a long moment, during which Janus found himself unable to suppress a series of yawns. It must have been around 4:00 in the morning by this point. They had to have been the only ones awake.

"Hey, Janus," Patton said, finally putting his glasses back on. "You know The Breakfast Club?"

"Yes," Janus said distractedly, trying to figure out where Patton was going with this.

"This wasn't our version of that, was it?"

"What do you mean?"

"When tomorrow comes and we're back to, to some sort of normal… You'll still be my friend, right?"

Now here was a situation Janus had never once envisioned for himself. He had pictured winning over Roman, had pictured gaining Thomas' support. Never once had he expected real friendship with any of them, let alone Patton. "Yes," he said, feeling sick at the irony of it. He had been comfortable as Patton's enemy, was now yearning for his kiss… How could he be friends with Patton when he burned like this for Patton's wholehearted affection? Was he really just supposed to endure it?

Patton smiled, so sweet and earnest that Janus had to bite down on his tongue. "Good," he said. "Speaking of, do you wanna have breakfast with me?"

"Not right now, I hope," Janus teased.

"No, no, not right now." Patton muffled a yawn into his sleeve. "I guess I'd better go."

Janus nodded. "See you in the morning?"

"Um," said Patton, who didn't appear to have been listening. "Thank you, Janus. You didn't have to-- Well, thank you."

He sank out without another word.

Janus imagined himself into his pajamas, imagined the lights off and threw himself onto his bed. "Fuck."

 

--

 

Frigid air seeped from the hallway seeped under the crack where Janus' door stopped just short of the carpet. He didn't allow himself to notice, and continued to put his outfit on piece by agonizing piece. The cold air made his joints slow and achy, and he struggled to get the clasps done up. It was just as well that he hadn't put on his gloves yet. He had become quite adept at handling things while wearing them, but for this task, the bulky fabric would only get in the way. After all, just like his singular snake fang, his gloves were for aesthetics, not function.

Finally, he donned his hat and faced the door, forced to confront that fatal truth: He could never have what he wanted. The moment he had achieved his goal of Thomas’ acceptance, the triumph had slipped away in his hands to be replaced with a truly unattainable goal.

Memories from last night, the phantom sensation of Patton in his arms, teased him until he had to sneer at himself. Pathetic. He was acting pathetic. Falling for Patton was strategically inadvisable, even if he couldn’t help it, but actively pursuing him was out of the question. It was all-risk, no reward. Still, his treacherous heart fluttered, teasing him with the thought of Patton’s lips on his own, Patton’s hands on his body, sharing heat, deepening the kiss--

“All risk,” Janus said out loud to himself, “no reward.” A mantra to see him through. He opened his door, his gloved hand slipping a little on the polished brass of his doorknob, and nearly walked straight into Remus as he passed by with an armful of dismembered dolls.

“Well,” said Janus, tilting his head to better examine the pile of plastic limbs and bodies in Remus’ arms, “I won’t ask what you’re up to.” He stifled a yawn behind his hand, visualizing a piping hot cup of coffee. A shudder wrecked his concentration and he frowned. “Are you the reason it’s so cold in here?”

Remus ignored the question, his feverish eyes darting from Janus’ mouth to his hand to his face. “I knew you were up late last night. That’s why I came this way.” He gave a crooked but strangely boyish grin. “I wanted to know where you’d gotten off to. Or who you’d gotten off with. ”

Janus, to his horror, blushed. Fragmented images flashed through his head-- What if he had kissed Patton? And Patton had kissed back? Mask, mask, mask! “I was spreading the Gospel.”

“You were spreading something , though, weren’t you?” Remus shifted the dolls in his arms and held up a masculine torso. “I know I heard Big Daddy’s voice. Play a little game of Patton- Snake , did you?”

Janus swore he could hear porcelain cracking as his heart began to race. “In all seriousness, Remus, we did reach an agreement.”

“Sounds like you reached more than that.” Remus waggled his tongue.

God, he was relentless when he was on the scent of something. Janus hid his face behind his hands, realizing a moment too late that this display of shame would only add fuel to the fire. So he took the only option left and muttered, “Boundaries,” into his palms.

“Oh,” said Remus, leaning back on his heels. “ Oh. Janus, you didn’t .”

“Of course we didn't!” Janus hissed, dropping his hands.

"But you wanted to?"

“How much did you hear yesterday, anyway?”

“Oh, I heard the whole debacle, including that heartwarming little moment at the end,” Remus said, rocking forward onto his toes. “Thanks for putting in a good word for me, by the way.”

They fell into an awkward silence as Janus once again reached for words that simply weren’t there. “I didn’t mean it,” he said finally, cursing himself.

“No?” said Remus. “Not even a teeny tiny little bit?” He poked Janus in the chest with the plastic torso, still clenched in his left hand. “Right here?”

“You,” said Janus, “are just as evil as I am.”

Remus backed off with a grin, leaving Janus in doubt that he had ever even been angry in the first place. “So where are you off to now? Roman’s got this place awfully cold; gonna go warm Patton’s snake?”

“You already made a ‘Patton snake’ joke,” Janus said, slamming another mask onto his face to hide his blush. “But to answer your question, he asked me to join him for breakfast.”

“Aww.” Remus wiped fake tears from his cheeks. “You better not start spending too much time with him or I’m going to get jealous.”

[unsymp-sides-content]

Ok. This is probably gonna be a little long and I'm sorry for that-

So, Thomas decides that he's done with the sides hiding secrets from him and wants to learn about the other darks that Janus keeps hidden.

So he summons the main four and they all agree that they're tired of Janus keeping secrets from them and summon Janus.

Janus pops up, pretty confused, but before he can say anything, the others demand that he summons the hidden sides. Janus refuses. Saying that they're dangerous and that Thomas isn't ready to meet them.

But the main four keep demanding that Janus summons them. Spitting insults, slurs, and harmful words at Janus (who can taste lies. And he knows that they're telling the truth, at least what they believe to be the truth) when Janus keeps refusing.

It's mainly Virgil and Roman throwing the insults. Some really hurtful ones from Virgil, "I don't know why I ever trusted you. " "all you do is get in the way" "why did you think you were deserving of acceptance" etc etc

And from Roman, "All you do is lie" "do us a favour, and duck out" "you're trying to ruin Thomas's life" "stop keeping secrets from us before you make us stop you"

And Janus keeps shrinking in on himself with every insult. Barely holding back tears, until he goes to sink back down. Only to be summoned by Thomas (they can't ignore when Thomas summons them) again and again, just to be yelled at more

When Janus does eventually does start crying they make fun of that too, calling him weak and a crybaby. Janus slides down the wall, trying to cover his ears as the others join in on the insults.

Thomas only says one thing to Janus, "I hate you! You're the worst thing that has ever happened to me! If you ever cared about me you would tell me!"

As soon as Thomas says that, Janus sinks out, and they can't summon him again.

The main four are confused, but eventually a new side raises up, Wrath. And then another, Jealousy. And another, Ignorance. And another and another and another.

A total of 5 new sides are now standing in Thomas's living room, Wrath seems to be the leader of the group but refuses to answer any questions.

Virgil had never met these sides, Janus always kept them locked away in the subconscious, far away from them. So he's naturally really curious about them.

Ignorance is really chatty. Talking for long stretches of time and about strange topics. He distracts Thomas from the aches in his chest as he speaks.

As time goes on, Thomas feels less and less excited, tears start leaking down his face for a reason he can't pinpoint.

Meanwhile with Janus. He ducked out. And no one went after him. Janus is crying loudly, his body shaking. Even if he wanted to come back, he couldn't. The mindscape had deemed Janus unneeded after the hidden sides got revealed (and their center saying that they would rather him be dead doesn't help...). Janus is fading.

Its an hour later when Thomas breaks down. The other sides trying to comfort him but failing as their own minds start to spew their problems and fears out loud. Even the new sides, revealing their names too early, their plans, their past. Everything

It only takes five minuites for Remus to rise up. Tears staining his face as he throws a yellow snake patch on the ground. He locks eyes with Thomas "what did you do"

The others explain. The dark sides were getting angrier and angrier with every sentence.

Thomas asks where Janus is, Remus can't meet his eyes as he tells him that the yellow side is gone, faded, dead.

The sides don't know what to do anymore.

...

So... Yeah... Opinions? Critiques? Idk if I'm going to write this but it's been driving me crazy for days

Okay, I love this idea! If you end up writing it, please let me know. Overall, I don't really have much to add. You've done a good job laying out the plot in a lot of detail. My only suggestions are 1) maybe when the main four are yelling at Janus, you could also have Virgil use information from his past with Janus to try and further hurt him/turn the others against him and 2) maybe instead of having all of the other dark sides appear at once, you should spread out their introductions since that would be less overwhelming both for you and the reader. Maybe after Janus disappears, Remus shows up and yells at the others for what they did and warns them that they're in danger. And then the others appear slowly, one by one, over the next few days as they start to realize they aren't trapped anymore, with whichever one you consider the worst being the last to get there. That way, you can spend more time properly showing the effect each of them have and why they're dangerous and you can build up suspense as the sides appearing start to get more and more dangerous to Thomas. Aside from that, I think this is a really great idea and I'd love to know if you decide to expand on it.

[snek-snacc-ficc]

Want Sanders Sides requests? Take your pick: 1)Patton and Janus are "rivals." Whenever they meet, they coldly go "Deceit." "Morality." & then exchange a sassy remark & go on their way. Everyone thinks they hate each other. But really, they're bfs. 2)Sides can't die, but Roman doesn't know that. So when Virgil comes back after getting accidentally killed Roman thinks it's Deceit and rejects him. 3)Patton starts showing frog traits & freaks out thinking Thomas is rejecting him. Janus comforts him.

Me? Finally getting around to finishing fic requests? It's more likely than you think. In all seriousness thank you for the request, I’m sorry its taken so long to get to.

I had to go with prompt 3, I’m a sucker for froggy Patton.

Words: 1,090

All the lights in Patton’s room were turned off and the curtains pulled shut, leaving the room in complete darkness. It would have been silent as well, were it not for the sniffles coming from said side who was curled up underneath his covers, tears streaming down his cheeks despite how hard he had tried to blink them away. 

Patton had woken up that morning with a horrified gasp upon seeing his reflection in the mirror. Splotches of moist, slick green skin had started to pop up sporadically across his body, and his eyes had formed an orange tint with his pupils becoming subtly more dark and slanted. 

The sight made his stomach churn. Only the dark sides ever exhibited any animal traits, and while he and subsequently Thomas had started seeing them in a different light, the fact that he was now changing appearance couldn’t be good. Despite how hard he had been trying to loosen up a bit Thomas’ view of him was changing, and not for the better.

He sunk back into bed, not daring to think about facing the others in this state.

---

Since the last episode’s ordeal there was a noticeable tension in the mindscape. The sides would silently shuffle through the kitchen every now and then during the day. Roman and Virgil seemed to stay close, throwing dirty looks Janus’s way, and Logan drifted about his business expressionless, acting as if he didn’t even notice the others around him, before retreating back to his room for the rest of the day. With the strain between everyone it was easy for Patton’s absence and failed attempts to lighten the mood to go unnoticed. 

It wasn’t until afternoon that Janus realized he was missing when he came into the commons for their usual chat (a routine that they had fallen into in the weeks since the last video). It was then that he also registered he hadn’t seen Patton at all that day. He may not have been welcomed in the light side of the mindscape for very long, but that didn’t seem like normal Patton behavior. A spark of worry came over him and immediately he sunk out in search of the other.

His first instincts led him to the main hallway of the light side, where all the doors to their rooms were. He couldn’t help but notice his own door was currently residing there. In the past few weeks it had been constantly switching at random between here and its place in the dark sides half, as if the mindscape couldn’t quite decide where to put it. Next to it was the light blue door leading to Patton’s room, littered with brightly colored stickers of everything cheerful from hearts to smiling cookies on its exterior. He knocked on it gently. “Patton? Are you in there?”

He was met with the sound of shuffling from the other side and Patton spoke up, his voice carrying an obvious over-chipper tone that was only made more apparent by the way his voice cracked when he spoke. “Oh, Janus, yes, I’m just feeling a little sick though kiddo, I wouldn’t come in.”

The scent of lies lingering in the air became even more apparently overwhelming when Janus pushed open the door and stepped into the darkened room.

His gaze fell on the lump of sheets on the bed. A pathetic final attempt at a cough came out from them as Patton mumbled something about not wanting him to get sick before he threw the covers off the figure entirely. Unable to make out much more than Patton’s form he switched on the nightstand lamp and was greeted with the sight of the other’s current situation. 

Patton immediately looked away, eyes brimming with tears.

Janus was admittedly surprised at the sight. The incident with “Lilypadton” had already been an unexpected factor in the events after the wedding. Never did he think that it would carry into his appearance afterwards.

Before he had a chance to process words of comfort Patton cried out in a choked sob, “Why is this happening to me?” His voice sounded deeper than usual, his words carrying a slight reverberation to them. “I’ve tried so hard to loosen up but it doesn’t matter, I’m still hurting Thomas and now-” he stifled what sounded like a cross between a sob and a croak, “and now he doesn’t even like me.”

Janus reached out and gripped Patton’s hand. “And what makes you think that?”

“This!” he gestured across himself, “All of this. I wouldn’t look like this if he didn’t think I was bad.”

Janus couldn’t help but grimace at that. “Thank you Patton.”

“Wha- oh,” his eyes widened, suddenly remembering the scales decorating the other sides face, “I’m sorry, I didn’t, I mean you’re-”

Janus sighed. This was new for all of them, he couldn’t blame Patton for the way he was feeling right now. “I know,” he said, “It’s alright.” He pulled him into a hug, Patton leaning into his chest, appreciating the comforting embrace.

Janus held him silently a moment, choosing his next words carefully. 

“You know, snakes almost universally represent trickery. Deceitfulness. Goodness knows Thomas knows that, in part thanks to you.”

Patton hummed in acknowledgment.

“Well, frogs have been known to symbolize a rebirth of sorts, things changing. That’s not always a bad thing either. You even said something along those lines yourself if I recall.”

Patton nodded, his tears slowing their fall and beginning to dry.

“Thomas’ view of you, of all of us, has altered since he was younger, it’s probably even changed quite a bit from a month or a week ago. Your job as his morality can and should be something fluid, and he’s now starting to really understand that. Maybe that thought process is manifesting partially in your physical appearance, but that doesn’t lessen the importance of your role, and it certainly doesn’t mean Thomas no longer wants or needs you.”

Patton sat up a bit, wiping the remaining wetness from his face. 

“Thank you, Janus,” he said, given the other a gentle smile.

He gave him one last squeeze before breaking away and standing up. “Of course dear heart.”

He gave Patton an amused look, taking in his new appearance. “Just between you and I,” he said, “green totally isn’t your color. Just, don’t try to make a huge deal out of it. I think Remus has laid claim to it for his Disney villain aesthetic.”

Patton laughed as the two of them sunk out.

[feralraccoonman]

This is like...I still can't with the name. Like with Virgil's, and even REMUS'S name reveal, I EXPECTED it.

Like...I expected it from Remus, honestly. I'm like...yeahhhh he can't keep a secret, he clearly has a loud mouth, etc-

But. Like. HECCING JANUS. MY DUDES.

Idk, maybe I SHOULD have expected it, since we've kinda known him for so long, but I guess I just got so used to thinking of him as JUST deceit, that I kinda forgot he HAD an actual name-

It was...

I mean like.

I know I'm sounding biased because it's no secret that he's been my favorite character for EVER, but like.

But because of that factor added in with a few others...I truly believe that his name reveal was the most impactful out of all of them so far.

Let me explain:

For Logan, Patton, and Roman, it was almost flippant. Like...of course it was important, I remember when it happened and everyone was likely "oh wow, they have names", etc, ofc, but they weren't regarded as...sacred, almost, like they were with the other three so far.

First was Virgil. We all remember how big of a deal it was for him. He was TERRIFIED. He was so scared, he looked like he was going to cry almost. But there is also the fact that he'd already made the decision in his mind that he was doing this as a THANK YOU for caring about him, in a way. Like...this was him showing that HE trusted THEM. That mirrors Janus, in a way. I'll explain in a minute.

For now, we're taking the next step and moving on to Remus. First off, there was literally no dramatic buildup other than the "or, you COULD, just call me by my name...Remus." line. Even Thomas was put off by that, because I guess after Virgil ya really aren't expecting it to be that easy for them. But Remus is pretty much the personification of "no filter", so I guess it stands to reason that he doesn't censor anything about himself, in addition to the intrusive nature of his role. So, it stands to reason that out of the two so far, his name reveal is the lower ranking one.

Now, to Janus. His reveal, in my mind, was the most impactful because he chose to create a vulnerable situation for himself, such an out-of-character situation, JUST so he could prove his worth to Thomas and the others, to PROVE why he deserves to be trusted in this moment. He takes the chance, knowing that if this goes wrong, he doesn't get a re-do, and he chooses, ON HIS OWN, make himself the most vulnerable we've ever really seen a side. (I'm only talking about as far as names go right here. In general vulnerability, I'm gonna say that Virgil usually takes the lead with that, esp the end of DWIT)

But REGARDLESS of that, Janus chooses to willingly put himself in that very uncomfortable position, and if you look at his face...he's terrified.

Look at him, REALLY LOOK at him, and tell me that that isn't the face of someone who is about to absolutely shatter.

He mirrors Virgil in that way, they both seemed scared out of their minds when their name reveals happened. The difference in that is that Virgil offered up his as a leavening chip, almost. A way to show that he trusted the others AFTER they trusted him. But with Janus is was different. He went the opposite route. He showed he trusted the others SO THAT they would in turn, MAYBE, trust him back. THAT is where they mirror each other, AND where they deviate.

There is so much WEIGHT to that, it's like...it was uncalled for, unplanned, and THAT'S why it is so impactful.

Both of the others were somewhat called for, or brought up organically.

But this? With Janus? He made that call on his own. He was making the call of showing trust to receive it, and I think that's pretty amazing.

[mother-snake]

More letters? More letters.

I'm going to break a few hearts....

------------------

The pain of losing your child was an agonizing one. You could never stop thinking that you should have been in their stead, that you should have protected them, that you failed as a parent because..... Because your baby is dead and you couldn't stop it.

Virgil didn't know someone could get that pale. Or that they could have black vains. Or that they could cry black inky tears until their face was sticky and it was impossible to wash off.

It was a very sad day.

They just came home from a very sad event, that no one wanted to name because they couldn't accept that he was gone.

Virgil went to his room almost immediately after they got home.

Tears still streaming, he hadn't stopped crying since they found his baby

He walked over to his desk, where four letters sat. Each envelope was a different colour with a different wax seal to match it. He picked up the white envelope with a deep wine red seal, the only thing that was marking it as his was the dark purple ink used to mark his name and the #1

He tore it open carefully.

Hey Vee Anxiety

I guess if you have these letters I'm gone now. I also suppose that you know what happened to the dark side. If you don't, well its gone now. I'm sorry it had to be this way. But I had too.

You and Remus are the only sides with black hair now. How does that feel? I know your hair is dead straight, does it fall into your eyes? Do the others treat you differently because of your hair colour? Speaking of that.

I know I was a horrible child Anxiety, you loved me from the very moment you met me and all I did in favour was tell you I hate you. I don't hate you. I could never hate you.

I hope you gave me a nice send off. Was there daffodils? You know, daffodils were originally called Narcissus. They symbolize self love. I'm sure you know the myth, but it also ended rather tragically. I'm no expert but I think my life also counts as a tragedy. At least it feels like it.

It feels like no matter what I do, I get punished. Society says that you get punished for your wrong doings but what have I done wrong? I wish I had black hair like you. Things might have ended better.

I'm going to be writing a series of letters. Simply because I can't bear to say goodbye to all five of you at the same time. I'll write to you tomorrow Vee.

~Janus Sanders

The sobs only got deeper as Virgil read on. Memories rapidly repeating in his mind. Over and over. The sight of his child dead on the ground. Crumpled suit and knocked over goblet, his eyes were like glass and any pigment in his skin rotted away.

"DAD! Dad!!" the 17 year old looked down at the much younger side. Just passed 7. "Yes my little baby snake?" the child bounced up and down "I'm hungry!!" Virgil's smile creeped onto his face "Hi Hungry! I'm Dad!" the look on the seven year olds face was something he could never forget. Virgil let out a loud laugh, "Fine! Fine! Come on little snake, lets go get you some food" the child's face lit up. "STRAWBERRIES?!?" Virgil grabbed the childs hand. "We can have strawberries, little snake."

Virgil went downstairs and dug out the box of strawberries form the fridge. He ate the entire box.

The next day was just as horrible.

No one wanted to leave their rooms and deep sobs were coming from many doors.

Everywhere Virgil looked, he was reminded of his baby snake.

When he ran out of oxygen for the louder sobs, Virgil grabbed the second letter. A lilac purple envelope with a yellow seal.

Hey Vee,

The others are getting particularly violent recently. Often getting aggressive for no reason. Well unless you call me standing in my bedroom a reason. Well, reason or not. I have a new bruse or five.

How are the others holding up? I'm guessing not well. But maybe I'm just over estimating how much all of you care. After all. Why would anyone care for a side that has only made their lives harder? I personally don't see the logic in that.

But I don't know that much.

I'm going to be completely honest with you Vee. You are absolute shit at taking care of yourself when you are upset. Did you even eat dinner the night before? Wow. Look at me. I'm lecturing my father to take better care of himself while I'm dead.

I should get an award for biggest hypocrite. I haven't properly taken care of myself in years.

I'm serious about this though, don't isolate your self and spend time with the others. They'll be your biggest help in accepting..... In accepting that I'm not there anymore.

~Janus

Sucking in a shaky breath, Virgil stood and went to ask the others for their company. Because Janus was right, its easy to spiral by yourself. Then there was a knock on the door.

Logan wanted to watch some of Janus' favourite movies.

Virgil couldn't say no. Even if he wanted too.

~~~time skip~~~

Everyone was passed out except for him and Logan.

Logan had been very quiet lately, then again. He did barely leave his room for days

The end of Over the Garden Wall was playing. The characters were talking about something when Virgil spiralled back into the memories.

"DAD!" Virgil burst into the room, running to cradle his child in his arms, "Baby, what happend? Are you hurt?" small sniffles left the eight year olds lips "I dr- dreamt th-that you left m-me!" Virgil felt his heart clench. "I will never ever leave you, my little one" Crystal coated over the childs eyes, "Promise?" "I promise with all my heart"-

Virgil fell asleep with a heavy heart, knowing that he broke his promise to his baby.

The next morning was slightly better, not by much though. They ate breakfast together. Then, they returned to their rooms.

Virgil grabbed the third letter as soon as he walked into the room. The pale yellow cover wrinkling in his tight hold. He carefully broke the purple wax.

Hey Vee,

I'm scared. Wrath keeps banging on doors and I think I heard a window break. Apathy keeps trying to calm him down but it isn't working. Depression just left. I honestly don't know where he went.

This is why I need to get rid of the darks. I heard them talking about taking over the mind and I just can't let that happen Vee. What kind of self preservation would I be if I just let them destroy Thomas? A shitty one.

Thats why I made a poison. Its made from my own venom and it is lethal with less then a drop. I'm going to put the whole vial inside of the wine at the party in a few days. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I don't really plan what I write here. I kinda just write.

I really want a hug right now. I think I'll vist today or tomorrow. If I can get passed the others that is. If they find out where I'm going I might not get the chance to poison the wine.

~Jan

Virgil could tell that the writing was frantic. Some words slurrrd and squished together. Janus did come over to the mind that day.

A small hesitant knock hit Virgil's door. When he opened it, there standing was Janus, he looked up at him, "Can... can I have a hug Vee?" Virgil felt a small blossom of hope in his chest, "Of course, my little baby snake."

That blossom of hope died when he found his child's body. Cold and pale. He cried over the memory and over the letter.

The soft sound of jazz coming from Logan's room.

The next day, he grabbed the last letter. Hands shaking heavily, he broke the white seal holding the black envelope closed. When opened, a picture fell out.

Hi Dad,

I'm almost out of purple ink. Most of it got dried out after I forgot to out the cap back on. I'm sorry dad.

I'm sorry that I took your love for granted. I never accepted it as enough. Even when you did your damnedest to protect me and anyway you could. I used to be mad and upset and wanting to cry at every memory but now I wish I enjoyed those moments longer.

Thank you for indulging my strawberry habit. Thank you for holding me late at night. Thank you for introducing me to reading. Thank you for all the memories and hugs. Thank you for everything Dad.

None of this is your fault. You were the best father I could've asked for.

I love you

~Your Baby Snake

The picture was of him and Janus when the yellow side was nothing but a toddler. Bright golden ringlets sticking out in every direction. On the back was written

"To the best Father, Thank you"

Virgil's tears were interrupted by loud screams from Logans room.

They all bolted to comfort the blue side. Virgil's eyes drifted down to the his letter.

I love you

Virgil couldn't help the thought of his baby in a suit. Attempting to tame his blond curls while walking down the isle. His baby fell in love.

And he'll never get to experience the rest of it.

His tears only fell faster.

-------

Hahahaha

OW

i almost cried tears, i held them in barely. fam were in the room. how dare you stab my heart like this?? i am wounded. (tho seriously, this is absoulutely amazing and i friggin love it to bits!)

[tranquil-space-ninja]

The Gray (Sanders' Sides)

Six: Drift Away

Tw: breakdown, cursing

"No," Remus whispered. "No, no, not again."

"Remus?" Remus turned to see Orcus staring at him and the boxes. "Janus is gone, isn't he?" Remus shook his head quickly.

"N-no, he said he'd be back. He promised--" Orcus turned and left. "No," Remus screamed. "You promised you'd be back!" He took a few deep breaths to center himself, wiping away his tears. He summoned his phone and called Logan, hands shaking. As it rang and rang, Remus covered his mouth to keep himself from crying. Then--

"Hello. You have reached Logan Sanders. I am unable to answer your call at the moment, but leave a message and I will return it as soon as I'm able." Remus laughed humorlessly as the tone sounded.

"H-hey, Lo. Janus's room moved. You probably already knew that, but.... Orcus isn't taking it that well, and I'm worried he's going to duck out again. I just wanted to let you know in case you and Virgil.... Just in case. Call me when you get this, or if you need me, or.... Whenever, j-just call me, okay?" Remus hung up and hugged his knees to his chest, rocking himself back and forth. He closed his eyes and breathed, trying to hold himself together. After a bit, he fell asleep.

He woke up to someone shaking him gently. "..emus? Remus?" He opened his eyes to see Logan standing over him, worried. "I got your call. I'm sorry I didn't answer. Patton doesn't allow phones during meals."

"'Salright," Remus mumbled. Logan gently rested his hand on his back.

"Are you doing alright? You sounded quite distraught in your message. Do you--"

Remus burst into tears. "I can't do this anymore, Logan," he sobbed. "I can't keep losing people!" He began to tremble, his breath coming out in short gasps.

"Shh, Remus, breathe," Logan said. "I'm right here, love. I'm right here." His voice was soft and loving, the way Janus, Virgil, Roman, and even Patton, once-upon-a-time, had spoken to him. It only made Remus cry harder. He curled in on himself, resting his forehead in Logan's lap with his thighs under his chest. Logan began to rub circles on Remus' back, whispering soothing words to the vounerable side.

"Why does everyone keep leaving," Remus asked when his tears finally slowed down. "Why do you all hate me so much?"

"We don't hate you," Logan murmured.

"Really? Cause years of evidence say otherwise."

"What evidence do you have to support your claim, Remus?" Remus laughed and wiped away a couple stray tears.

"Where do I start? Roman.... Roman left first. He ran off to join you guys because he thought you'd hate him if he hung out with me. And that says he'd throw me away in a heartbeat if he had to choose again. He came back last time to comfort me, but Mr. Perfect Prince can't have anyone upset with him, can he? And then, Virgil. Do or die, my best friend, besides Janus, of course. Then you all accepted him, and he just up and left, without a warning or another word. And now that he's with you guys, I'm suddenly a common cold. It's like years of laughing and daring adventures in the imagination and bugging Janus just..... Don't exist anymore. Like he wishes he never met us. And now Janus is gone, too. I did everything he wanted for months after Virgil left. I was quiet and calm and I never said or did anything normal, or, at least normal for me. It took months of him promising not to leave, months of him letting me sleep in a sleeping bag in front of his door so he couldn't sneak out, months of walking through the imagination with me while he subtlely convinced me to create new monsters and fight old ones for me to be myself again. Even my debut episode took a bit of acting on my part. The entire time, I was scared Janus was going be disgusted with me and leave, even though he's the one who suggested I go and stir things up. And now, it looks like I was right to worry. I was so, fucking right.... Why the hell couldn't I be right about anything else? Patton was grossed out by me the moment I opened my mouth. Shit, even Orcus ducked out again." Remus rolled over so he could breathe, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Logan's face. He opened them out of shock when Logan's fingers relocated themselves to his hair. After a moment, he melted into the soft touch, one of the many things he missed about Janus's friendship.

"What about me," Logan asked. Soft worry, nervousness, and affection glimmered behind the cracks of his carefully neutral expression. "What makes you think I hate you?"

"A month ago, I'd say you told the others to ignore me so I'd go away. That you calmly treated me like an insignificant inconvinience to keep Thomas from taking me seriously." Guilt permeated the softness in Logan's expression, making Remus feel its itchy presence as well.

"Ah. I apologize, Remus. I was trying to do what was best for Thomas. I should have taken your feelings into consideration." Remus sighed.

"You didn't let me finish." Logan's hand left Remus's hair.

"Sorry...." Remus laced his fingers through Logan's.

"Ask me again," he whispered.

"Remus, what makes you think I hate you?" Remus smiled up at him, tears threatening to return.

"You're the only one who cares." Then Logan did something Remus never expected him to. He laughed, then began to cry and laugh at the same time. Remus sat up and tried to wipe Logan's tears away, crying again himself. Logan tried in vain to do the same for Remus and, after a couple of minutes, they stopped and just held each other tightly. They didn't move or speak until Logan's phone buzzed. He picked it up and checked it, keeping an arm around Remus.

"Patton's wondering where I am," he said.

"You should probably head back," Remus answered, leaning his face into the crook of Logan's neck. He didn't want him to leave, but he didn't want anyone to get upset with either of them.

"No," Logan said, thankfully. "They can wait. You need me more." He then silenced his phone and pushed it away from him, wrapping both arms around Remus. They stayed there for an undetermined amount of time before Remus's stomach growled. Logan frowned at him. "Haven't you eaten yet?" Remus shook his head, too tired for words. Logan stood up, still clutching Remus close to his chest. "Let's get you food, then." Logan carried Remus to the table in the kitchen and sat him down. He went through the cabinets and the fridge before grabbing a pan, some eggs and bacon, and a few slices of bread. He cooked everything methodically, like he was following a recipe in his head. Soon, Remus had a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon in front of him. And, because he was too tired for words, he pressed a light kiss to Logan's lips, a gentle, helpless thank you.

And Logan kissed back.

He smiled gently, one of the most beautiful things Remus had ever seen. "You should eat." Remus nodded and took a bite. He then inhaled the rest of the food. He felt better than he had in a long time.

"Thanks for everything, Lo." Logan caressed Remus's cheek.

"You matter, Remus." They leaned in at the same time and shared a sweet, short kiss, then another, and a third.

After that, they heard a smooth voice clear his throat behind them.

"I hope I 'am' interrupting something."

--------------------------------------------------

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