#Tw ignoring feelings

[mouseshift]

[fuchsiasea]

i'm experiencing so many emotions. i'm still in shock, i'm still waiting for someone to come out and say it's all a lie. i also feel bad, and i feel guilty because i lost hope in liam a while ago, i discussed his behavior with my friends and i pitied him... i never wrote anything online bc even for the worst people, i will never write a tweet wishing for them to kill themselves. but i still feel guilty bc i doubted he could get better.

then i think about 1d and how much they mean to me, how big of an impact they had in my life... they saved me. then i think about how all of liam's addictions and mental problems started while in the band. then i feel even more guilty.

i said to a friend "i don't know how the boys survived 1d", and now that statement is not true anymore. i wish he could have gotten better and dealt with all the damage he did to others.

i feel angry too... bc people will reduce everything to "he was good" or "he was bad", but it's way more complex than that. i once said people didn't want him to get better, it was way more entertaining for the outsiders to see him fall and break.

amidst all these mixed emotions is despair, i doubt people will learn from this, i know the press will have a feast, i know people will reduce liam to his death and his wrongdoings.

i know that a lot of people won't understand how we feel, they will even call us names for hurting at the news... but i know there are some of us who just get it, because we feel it.

[egretful]

pushing up daisies

[valentinejaes]

BIBI — 【Lowlife Princess: Noir】 ↳ for @jwooyoung ♡

[shepscapades]

me seeing xisuma scared and going um! think I just discovered something new about myself uh oh

SFBJSFGBKSFGBLADGHDFGN OKAY IDK WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME I had to. I had to. Just. Look away

Edit: here’s the post this ask is referencing DGBJDFGNK

[the-bi-space-ace]

Okay I’m going to talk about cutting off Crosshair’s hand because while I know plenty of people see a lot of symbolism in it and think it was a good decision I have things to say about it.

I have CPTSD which has a lot of different symptoms. One of them is trembling or shaking. There’s a lot of complexities tied up in it but I’m not going to go into more detail because it’s not a fun thing to talk about.

What I liked about Crosshair’s trauma was that it impacted him not only mentally and emotionally but also physically. It’s very representative of what it’s actually like dealing with symptoms from something like PTSD and CPTSD (there are differences between these two that I won’t go into rn). I loved that we got to see a physical symptom of something psychological. It’s so rare that it’s handled well. Because yeah meditation and safety will help, certainly, but oftentimes it’s not the end all be all. I’m safe. I’m protected. I take care of my mental well being. But I still have symptoms that say the opposite. Because it’s not as simple as ‘no longer in the bad situation therefore the symptoms will stop’. I’ve made my peace that it’s lifelong and, honestly, Crosshair’s symptoms would be lifelong as well.

Cutting off his hand…

Here’s the thing.

The show really makes it seem like cutting off his hand is something he needed to move forward. He needed to be rid of the symptom because it was a physical reminder and it was holding him back from moving on. Cutting off the hand means no more shaking which means he’s healed. No more shaking hand=no more trauma. He can finally move on with his life.

And to that I say ouch.

There’s been plenty of times my symptoms are inconvenient to myself or others. Times when I wish I could just make it stop. Times when I’m terrified that it’s holding me back and I’m screwed up and that’s all I’ll ever be: broken. There are plenty of times I know people wish i could just knock it off and get over it and cut it out but that’s not how it works. Like I said. I’ve made peace with this thing that’ll be with me forever.

It was refreshing to see him try to adapt to dealing with it instead of ignoring it or trying to get rid of the part of him that was hurting. I loved that. It was such a freeing thing to see. Someone who will live with the hurt and the symptoms and it doesn’t make him any less. It just makes him have to do life a little different.

I hate that they cut off his hand. I hate that it wasn’t handled with any sort of nuance or delicacy. And I hate that this thing that made me so proud of him, so proud to share something with him, just got cut off for… what? Shock? To ‘fix’ him?

If we had gotten more time with the loss of his hand maybe I’d feel differently. Hell, I’d love to see how Crosshair adapts to losing his hand, see how he learns to accommodate. It would give him and Echo something to bond over and talk about, finding healing with each other. I think this could’ve been done well. I’d still be on the fence about it but I would’ve held my breath and saw how it played out.

I fully expect people to roll their eyes at me here. I expect that people will say that I just don’t get it or that this isn’t what they intended. I’m sure this isn’t what they intended. At least I hope it isn’t. But what they intended doesn’t change how insensitively this was handled after a whole season of him unpacking his hurt and trying to learn to adapt to it. No one reacted to it, not even Crosshair, and we got no unpacking of what happened. I’m not happy with this but it is what it is I guess.

[thinkingabout-girls]

children fighting! i can sell this!

[mssallsunday]

mouthwashing features a mc who rapes and impregnates a woman and then crashes a spaceship full of innocent people to cover that fact up when the news gets out to the ppl she confides in and the captain tells her her assaulter wouldn't do that because he "knows him" and the mc pretends like it never happened as he is haunted by the images of his lies and deceit and cowardice and the image of his unborn child and the sound of a child's cries and the captain who failed to act cannot move himself or feed himself or speak for himself or defend himself when the mc attacks him and berates him and blames him for every lie he's ever told as the captain loses every scrap of autonomy he has left. but yeah it's about fucking. capitalism and yaoi. whatever i guess

[honeydewtual]

ICE NINE KILLS X TERRIFIER 3 - A WORK OF ART

[borderlinereminders]

Can you share what your qualifications are for helping people? I’d love to support your blog but I’m curious what degrees you have or where you may be published in a peer review journal!

If you don’t want to support my blog or follow me, then don’t. It doesn’t affect me one way or the other.

I’ve never claimed to be a professional or offer professional help. In fact, I’ve always said that you should do your own research. My blog is meant to offer peer support or a starting point for someone because it’s overwhelming when you’re trying to figure all this out.

Professional help was not available to me so I self-taught myself all my coping and DBT skills. Every single one of them. I taught myself how to navigate healthy relationships and change my behaviours. I taught myself how to handle my urges and emotional crisis. When teaching myself, I found a lot of the information online was inaccessible due to fees or the language used. A lot of the “peer reviewed” stuff you speak of isn’t written for people with the disorder. It’s written for other people in their field.

Also, did you know that a lot of therapists or other professionals will refuse to see clients with certain disorders? My point is that the information was not easily available to me and I had to teach myself or not learn how to recover. It was a nightmare for me to navigate through so I try and offer explanations and advice that I would have found helpful in hopes others find it helpful.

I can also use my lived experience to empathize with people struggling with the behaviours I talk about which allows me to explain them more gently. And I think that’s important. Harsh and accusatory language is more likely to lead to someone digging in and getting defensive rather than examining their behaviour and working on it.

I also want to say that something being peer-reviewed doesn’t mean it’s good. It just means more people with similar views agree with them. A lot of research makes really shitty and harmful assumptions about the people with the mental illnesses they talk about.

[etherealspacejelly]

i wish i had a friend like me. maybe that sounds stupid and selfish and egotistical but. idk. im very good at comforting people and helping people with stuff. and i wish i had someone like that.

im good at comforting myself too but sometimes i wish it was someone else doing it for me

i wish i was brave enough to ask

[infizero-draws]

your wish is my command

[cherrirui-official]

I need you guys to understand me when I say that this is literally just Friday Night Funkin'

[zorosdimples]

i don’t fantasize about having kids in my self ships or in my writing. it’s not that i hate kids or anything like that; i simply don’t want children of my own in any universe—i never have and i never will.

[smilesrobotlover]

Whumptober day 6- Not realizing they’re injured

Day 6 gang. Warnings for blood and an injury.

~~~~~

Leon stared for a long moment as Kass flew away, almost as if looking away would cause catastrophe. He was still frazzled over what happened, his heart beating harshly against his chest and adrenaline making him agitated and antsty. The sky was a dark blue, not dark enough for the stars to appear, but dark enough that it was freezing. He shuddered, hugging himself as he began to shiver, and Linebeck’s hand rested on his shoulder.

“We need to get someplace warm,” he said, shivering as well, but Leon shook his head.

“We need to get down the mountain to meet up with the others.”

“Oh yeah, that’s a great idea! Walk down the freezing mountain. At night. With no coat on. Are you stupid or something?” Linebeck crossed his arms and gave Leon a dirty look. Leon rolled his eyes, not wanting to admit that Linebeck was right. Walking when it was cold and when it was night was suicide, but he didn’t want to be separated from his friends for too long. Linebeck groaned and began to drag him back up the cliffside, finding a trail for them to use. Normally Leon would fight back against this, but he was shivering pretty bad and he felt weak from the fight. Thankfully, when they reached the top, the two found an entrance to the old ruins, with it leading to a living room area with a fireplace. The back was still open to the elements, which made it feel more like a cave, but at least their heads would be covered. Linebeck let out a sigh and walked up to it, checking the area before turning back to him.

“At least there’s a fireplace. And a couch.”

Leon only grunted in response, feeling strangely lightheaded. Linebeck huffed and scratched his head, looking around the room.

“Think there’s wood or something?”

Leon glanced over at a corner with a door. Surprisingly, it opened when he tried, and inside were piles of firewood. Leon grabbed a few, flinching as a sharp pain went through his side.

“Thank the ocean king, it’s freaking cold,” Linebeck said when he saw the wood. Leon nodded at him and gestured to the rest of the room.

“Is there any kindling?”

Linebeck stared blankly. “Kindling?”

“Yes, kindling. To help the wood catch fire.” It remained silent as Linebeck clearly tried to come up with something slick to say. Leon rolled his eyes. “You don’t know how to build a fire, do you?”

“It’s not like I can build one on my ship!” Linebeck defended, his face turning red.

“Oh whatever, I’ll build it. Collect any dry twigs and paper, I’m gonna see if I can build this.”

“Yes sir,” Linebeck muttered and walked off. Meanwhile, Leon set up the wood so it would burn right, and he grabbed flint and a dagger from his pack, hoping he could create sparks despite the snowy area. Linebeck returned with books and pillows, which Leon felt hesitant about.

“Books?”

“You said paper.”

“Yes but… there could be interesting stuff in there,” Leon stood up and took one of the books, looking it over. It was in a language he didn’t understand though, but he still would’ve liked to know what was inside. Perhaps it could give him insight on what the ruins were. Linebeck snatched the book back with a scoff.

“You know what else is interesting? Not freezing to death!”

Leon rolled his eyes and sighed, figuring it was better than nothing. But he took the pillows first, hoping that he wouldn’t have to burn the books. He built the fire with ease, the pillows catching the sparks that came from the flint, and soon, the small area was nice and warm. Leon leaned back on his knees, feeling lightheaded once again. The gloves on his hands were taken off to keep the cold fabric off his already numb hands, and he pressed his hand up against his left side, which was still stinging. Linebeck gave him a weird look and glanced down at his side.

“You ok?”

“Yeah, I think I’m just cramping bad,” he muttered, though massaging the area made the pain worse.

“Ok, lemme see. I can give great massages,” Linebeck said, lifting up Leon’s hands. His tan skin went pale and he stood up, rushing to the outdoors in a second, leaving Leon confused.

“What is it—“ Leon started, but Linebeck vomiting interrupted him, and he glanced down at his own side. His pale shirt was stained red, with it ripped from where a blade pierced. It wasn't a deep cut thankfully, but it was no wonder why Leon felt so dizzy. How did he not notice this?

Linebeck returned, his hand covering his mouth as he avoided looking at the bloody area. He swallowed and gave Leon a nod, gesturing to his side.

“You’re bleeding,” he commented.

“I noticed.”

“Oh? Did you now?” Linebeck said, in an almost mocking tone. “How do you not notice that you’re bleeding?”

Leon glared at Linebeck, standing up while clutching his side.

“I must’ve been distracted with Rusl and everything that I didn’t notice before.”

“How do you not notice getting stabbed?”

“I wasn’t stabbed, you idiot!” Leon snapped, his patience growing thinner than before. He really wasn’t badly injured; it was just a small cut which wasn’t bleeding. Much. Though, it didn’t explain why he was so dizzy and weak. He sat on the couch, pulling out bandages with shaky hands and attempting to remove his shirt. Linebeck only stared, keeping his distance as Leon flinched and shook, finally getting his shirt off.

“A little help would be nice,” he commented, getting the bandages ready.

“No thanks, unless you want me to throw up on you.”

Leon glared at him for a good minute before wrapping the bandages around himself. He fumbled a bit, and eventually Linebeck helped him tie the end and put his shirt back on. Leon let out a huff as he laid back, suddenly feeling exhausted over what happened that day. It was quiet for a long moment, the two watching as the firewood split and sparked from the heat.

“You think Rusl’ll be ok?” Linebeck spoke up, staring hard at the fire. Leon frowned, worry returning to him as he thought about his friend. Watching him fall over the cliffside, seeing him sprawled out on the ground, rushing to his side with fear of finding him dead, it was terrifying. It almost reminded him of the day when the shadows attacked, making him believe his son was killed…

He sent a quick prayer to the goddesses, begging them that Rusl would be ok. Though he miraculously survived the fall, would he survive the flight down the mountain? Would he survive the cold? And worse yet, would he survive Lonni and Agus’s prejudices? He wished so desperately that he was there with him, to make sure that he would have a place to stay where he could recover. But he knew that they were in no state to be down there.

So all he could do was to pray and hope that he would recover, that he would be taken care of, and that his friends would be fine on their own.

He could only hope.

[pixelatedtaken]

StaticMoth Abuse

Featuring mentions of Angel Dust's relationship with Val

TW: ABUSE, SA

SPOILERS AHEAD ↓

Here's a fact. Vox is not being abused by Valentino.

This fandom is so deep in fanon content that it heavily intertwines with canon. But let's try to understand where Val abusing Vox came from, why it's not true and how it correlates to Angel Dust's relationship with Val.

Let's begin:

In the, now archived, posts on Instagram (or voxtagram), it was revealed that Vox and Val were in a situation-ship, and canon officially confirmed it.

Now, Val as a character is heavily hated and for good reasons while Vox is not. Many people adore Vox and for that, his relationship with Val can be conflicting, adding a bit of difficulty in justifying their like for him.

Here's where Valentino's relationship with Angel Dust comes in.

Val has been shown to be abusive and to SA Angel Dust. First example of that being the Addict music video.

This has created the need for people to give a reason behind Vox's relationship with Val and make excuses for him so they can validate their favoritism.

"Val is so awful! He must be abusing Vox! Breaking his screen and whatnot!"

What people don't take into consideration is the difference in their power imbalance or lack thereof.

One of the core factors in Angel Dust's relationship with Val is the power difference between them.

Val is an overlord while Angel is a sinner.

A sinner that signed a contract with Val and gave his soul. That alone makes their dynamic vastly different. Val feels it's within his right to abuse Angel, to test his limits until he breaks. And up until episode 4, Angel believed he deserved it because whatever Val did to have him sign the contract must have been his fault. Although that's not true, Angel felt so. Heck, he wanted to break himself so that Val would let him go.

Vox and Val, on the other hand, don't have that. Both of them are overlords.

They are on equal footing. There is no power imbalance. In fact, the Vees could have not existed and both Vox and Val, including Velvette, would be completely fine without each other and continue to have their respective overlord status.

The reason it exists is exploitation.

All three can and do use each other so they can have a more powerful front. A mutual alliance of exploitation. Within this, they have created their own fucked up bond. As a result of that, Val and Vox have an on-again, off-again relationship. It's far from healthy, but it's not an abusive one.

Vox knows of Valentino's behavior but as long as it's not effecting their shared partnership, he will not interfere nor will he care about it.

Or maybe the next seasons will give me the middle finger and I'm completely wrong. Who knows? I just read a fic and saw posts about Vox being abused by Val and wanted to give my two cents on the topic.