#for those wondering where ive been
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mutantninjamidlifecrisis · 1 year ago
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Art by mads @felsicveins
Hello, I'm back :) Hiatus is finally over, thanks for you patience.
This is the beginning of the final arc of this story. I now finally have a bit of time to work on this beast, and I'm very excited (and a little sad) to get to a definitive conclusion. Thank you to everyone who is still keeping up with the updates.
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puppyeared · 11 months ago
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is this your card? ♦️♣️♥️♠️ it isnt but you dont wanna hurt his feelings
#this was supposed to be a warmup but i got carried away.... i havent drawn in so long that its been hard to focus orz#im testing a new brush for fun. again.. i think i can use this for clean lineart..?? im surprised i went as long as i did with the#narinder brush honestly... but i wanna try something new so here we are again#if i could get my shit together id love to draw a model of his van because i have smth really cool in mind..i was looking at pictures#of old wooden caravans like the horse drawn ones and i wonder if i could combine that with the shape of an RV#i like the ones with a door at the rear bc it kinda lookslike a train caboose.. maybe he'd get someone to weld him a custom ride!!#idk how intricate and detailed i can design it without making it a pain in the ass to draw every time BUT i have a general idea#it would probably have a door on the side but idk if itd flip down to make a stage or upwards to make a roof?? and then theres a#curtain behind it where he would come out and do his show methinks.. ive been looking at pictures of camping vans on pinterest for ideas#i dont think he LIVES in the van since i mentioned his home is an old run down theatre when he isnt on the road. i wanna draw that too#but the RV should have enough for long travels like a bed and cabinets..? maybe a net hanging on the ceiling where all his props go#id like to think of ideas for a hometown.. toronto has a huge entertainment district so it would make sense for him to live there#although id also love to base parts of it from vancouver since id love to go back and visit </3#..would there be furth names for those places?? nyancouver... clawronto... whinnypeg (like a horse whinny)...#pawson creek.... purrlington... otterwa.. i love coming up with names lol#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sleight#laikas comet oc#fan character#fur#furry art
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runningfromevil-mp3 · 1 year ago
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Anyway, reminder to just consider thinking about aromantic people who enjoy things like kissing and hugging and so on. Just because its seen as romantic doesn't mean it is for everyone. Aromantic people can just. do that. The aromantic experience is so varied. This especially goes to alloaro people too because sometimes you feel left out or in the middle of those discussions when you do or enjoy those things.
There's an additional reblog to this post, consider checking it if you wish!
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constantvariations · 2 months ago
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I get why people say Wyll/Karlach is enemies-to-lovers but it's missing too many of its signatures for me to agree
By nature, E-t-L's are slow burn. A good chunk of the story waits for one party to discover they're on the wrong side/both parties to realize they have more in common with each other than their factions, then a whole other chunk is dedicated to them learning how to trust each other. The higher the stakes in the story, the slower the burn
Yet everything between Wyll and Karlach is revealed and resolved in a single conversation. There are no lasting consequences of that initial animosity. Both are too good to hold grudges and all the fault lies firmly in hands not their own. Karlach trusts Wyll instantly and he her. Their friendship is so immediate that it's easy to forget that we met Karlach with the intent to kill her
And then there's the source of their quarrel. Wyll was led to believe Karlach's a devil seeking destruction and Karlach was just trying to go home. The thing that sets them against each other isn't their own beliefs or loyalties or anything deep seated and personal, it's the chain of command, something they're both eager to be rid of by the time we meet them. While it gives them something in common, it leaves them with nothing to unpack or overcome together
Compare that to the king of E-t-L's, Zutara of Avatar the Last Airbender. Zuko spent most of the show's runtime trying to capture the Avatar to guarantee the Fire Nation's total conquest, something Katara wants to prevent at all costs. When the two are stuck together by happenstance, they lash out at each other only to bond over their lost mothers. Then Zuko betrays her, something Katara does not forget and does not forgive until he proves himself much, much later. Afterwards, they support each other, watch over the others together, and make a damn good team against Azula. Perfect, should have been canon, fuck Bryke
Honestly, I think Wyllach is just Faerûn's version of a meet-cute
#baldur's gate 3#yodeling into the void#karlach cliffgate#wyll ravengard#ive always found it difficult to justify killing karlach once you learn abt her backstory#outside of being an apathetic murderhobo what reason is there to kill someone trying to flee a war they never wanted to join?#i think some elements could have been salvaged if karlach had genuinely been a fiend#perhaps another cambion to contrast mizora and raphael#or maybe an alu-fiend for variety?#hells even a straight up succubus to really make the player wonder if she's going to be a threat if allowed to live#adds to the whole monsters in the making bit going on#her backstory and abilities would have to be altered but i dont think her personality would need to change at all#itd be neat to see a devil that isnt a business major#and i really like that one rewrite post where Wyll's relationship w Mizora is less antagonistic bc she's yknow.#actually being manipulative in her affection rather than whatever the fuck she's doing in canon#and the reason wyll is so susceptible to it is bc he believes so strongly in the good in everyone. even devils#and karlach being a devil whilst also a genuinely good person would open his eye to the fact that Mizora is Not Good#especially not good for him#i like wyllach but it doesn't intrigue me quite like wyllstarion or wyllzel#those two ships have that zing of 'by all accounts i should kill you for being a threat to innocents yet i cant help but fall for you'#fiend!karlach would fit right into that particular lovely niche#ngl the more i think abt it the more i want fiend!karlach#toss in werewolf!shadowheart and you'll have an entire party consisting of nightmare fuel and gale#make him be like sole human freddie in the eldritch scooby gang lmaoooo
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helpmyinterestsareverywhere · 4 months ago
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Whenever I pick up a Lloyd LEGO set and see a blue figure included I like to try and ignore it and play a game of "is it gonna be Jay or Nya?" and not find out until I get to build it
(It's a win-win situation everytime - i love them both <3)
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konjkitkatty · 5 months ago
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so god damn worth it.
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skunkes · 6 months ago
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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medi-bee · 2 years ago
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Fortune Amidst Misfortune. my stringbean. big into lizards, if you couldn’t tell. I gave him a major facelift when downpour came out, but ive had him for years lol
Fortune is a rude-ass introvert, and is totally engrossed in his genetic experiments. If asked, he’d tell you that he thinks the local wildlife are ugly beasts, but he’s secretly a huge softy for ‘em and everyone can tell. He would watch the lil babies grow up through the overseers and just be so proud.
Eventually just watching was no longer enough, so he gave his puppet a big revamp, as seen above. lizard-taur-terator? Except he only has minimal knowledge of robo-body building, so it kinda sucks. Lots of little errors that start adding up, which means lots of maintenance, so that big socket in the back is for plugging himself back in occasionally (and it also functions as a weak spot :) ). And he did have to make some concessions when deciding to separate himself from his umbilical. He doesn’t have access to his extremely competent problem solving processes or the entire history of the world, among other things? But he does bring along his lucky 8 neurons. that’s probably enough i guess? Surely nothing bad will happen.
But hey, at least he can pet the animals now! He once raised an entire pack of genetically modified yellow lizards (in the name of science). After they passed, he decided (foolishly) to hybridize lizard and slugcat (again, in the name of science). The little beast continues to haunt him to this day, eating his brain cells and chewing through his wires, refusing to be trained unless there’s a reward in it for her. He named her Nips at Neurons, after the first thing she did when she escaped for the first time. He adores her.
also his antenna do this
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screechingfromthevoid · 12 days ago
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I know I'm totes missing something about Vax and his whole deal (I haven't watched the original campaign & I'm like half way through LoVM)
But I thought the implication of Keyleth having a perch for the ravens was that those ravens ARE Vax? I have been thinking this entire time Keyleth hasn't gotten over Vax because he was actively visiting her. But the only way he could get away and see her is to be a raven.
Idk this shit sucks I hope this night lasts forever
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hybbat · 4 months ago
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I do think a good chunk of the 'cringey atheist' stereotype did come from the fact that, especially americans, regardless of their actual religious status are just casually christian and refer to things through a religious filter and that isn't seen for how overwhelming/obnoxious/frustrating it is. Its absense, such as when writing a story and things like "oh god" or other casual references are remove or replaced, is seen as notable the same way people find the cast being all women or queer being 'abnormal'.
And I think more people, especially here on tumblr, should take a moment from ragging on some kid being "cringey" saying god doesn't exist or making atheist jump around like dancing monkeys to establish they're one of the good respectful ones before they ever even begin to talk about their own thoughts, and examine why so much content just inserts god into a conversation that had nothing to do with religion like it's the expected norm, the same way they examine the invasiveness of casual heteronormativity.
#this is just cause an ex christian youtuber i otherwise like refers to any extreme emotional experience as a 'religious experience'#as if everyone can agree on it being so#and theres more than a few posts on here that make me wonder why#so many people are incapable of making something 'poetic' or 'great' without invoking religious imagery#even where it had no relevance#atheism#anyways#ive seen uncomfortably similar treatment that aces in particular have received for pointing out amatonormativity in a post#its rare these days though because atheists have long since been thuroughly shamed in american society as being edgy#which like wooow a christian nation that shames every other religion in some way found a way to shame nonreligious too? shocking#actually i get kinda annoyed when i think about it its one of those propaganda that people casually buy into#without examining it at all#youll see atheists acting like dancing monkeys trying to establish theyre not cringe guys its okay#just to talk about how they feel and think#i remember being a young adult and when someone started talking to me with the assumption of god being in the picture#and id get an eye roll like i was being childish not going along with it nevermind they inserted god into the convo in the first place#without question or comment#and i know it wasnt forceful the same way some ex religious folks can get a bit zealous the same way they were about religion#which theres something to eb said for that zealousness being acceptable when christian but not when atheist or another religion#but ive never gone through such a phase my family has been atheist for several generations now and we were taught to respect beliefs#anyways sorry idk why this is on my brain this afternoon i think i saw a post or smth and it reminded me of that youtuber
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carcarrot · 2 months ago
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LAURENCE HARVEY a.k.a. LARUSHKA MISCHA / ZVI MOSHEH SKIKNE (born october 1st, 1928 - died november 25th, 1973)
“I always believed in Laurence Harvey, even when nobody else did. Especially when nobody else did.”
“Most people imagined they knew and understood Larry with little trouble. That was a big mistake. They didn't know how deep and complex, how elusive, he remained behind his social mask.” - Paulene Stone, his wife
“I cannot yield to failure, it would make far too many people happy.”
#i care him (obscure actor nobody is talking about)#idk man i felt inspired to make this and ive been working on it for the past several hours at my job. i wish it was my job#so-called free thinkers when they remember a guy. anyway!#the first gif is from the wonderful world of the brothers grimm and we're lucky i was able to even get it bc its GONE from tubi 💔#fortunately i got it from some clip on youtube abt the restoration but i had to include something from that movie#with a vague theme in these gifs of lesser known. appearances. i guess#the second is from when a bunch of actors went to this birthday celebration for noel coward#the next is from password (his silly little mannerisms and the lady's eyebrow raise at the end is killing me)#and then celebrity bowling followed by columbo and then lastly welcome to arrow beach#for those of you if any that cared where these all came from#i just think he's neat (guy that i would like to make a documentary on)#and well he deserved a good gifset. maybe ill even make more . it could happen#you should all still watch the wonderful world of the brothers grimm. just maybe not some of his other movies ive suffered through#the columbo gif could look better but for some reason the gif maker made all the colors suck :( and thats the best it was gonna look#it was a battle against source quality and tumblrs gif size limit#i also considered making other gifs but you know what im happy w six (i don't have the patience to do more)#that post thats going around of like you have to follow people that are obsessed w old hollywood actors. im doing my part#youd love him. he was a bisexual sarcastic bitch . and i also think hes 😵‍💫 but that was probably obvious#laurence harvey#not bothering 2 tag the movies#happy larry day. which inspired all this
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crystalkitty1220 · 6 months ago
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
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#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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lilakennedy · 5 months ago
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The past month or so has been a HILARIOUS trainwreck - My new job essentially went bankrupt after my FIRST day, I accidentally grew Datura on my balcony, I have an elusive MRI appointment that keeps getting pushed around, tried to get the limited Hozier vinyl but they only got a payment method I don't have, my friend nearly got snuck up on by a TORNADO cause we were busy playing Fortnite, and I STILL need to fix some of my ReShade presets -
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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago
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...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
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orcelito · 1 month ago
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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freebooter4ever · 11 months ago
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proportions are all off, but bits and pieces are slowly starting to come together. this one has been so damn technical that whatever i do next is gonna have to be blobby and organic lol
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