#for the sake of my personal health yknow

[sphacterialboi]

I ask this with all the sincerity and urgency of a national security breach, noahfinnce debut album growing up on the internet uk tour dates WHENNN????????

[maxlarens]

Childhood friends to lovers Max???? you always being there for all his accomplishments so when you can't because you've got your own thing he's a little lost??? max always being judgmental about the guys you try to date?? the whole entire grid down to mechanics on other teams all seeing that he's utterly in love with you while he's just 😐 "yes this is my friend"???

But also love the depth of it like OOOOO you'd hate J*s with a burning passion for how he treated the love of your life your bestie however your love and respect for Max has you helping him set boundaries so his father doesn't continue ruining his life?? And J*s would have sneered at his son having a "girl friend" (I always go off reader being fem my apologies for assuming) and probably definitely at least hinted at treating you the same way if you were with max at a racing weekend (the gas station story?? ugh) BUT I see that being the only time Max stands up to him when he's a kid/teen because fine yeah treat me however you want but I'll fight to the death if you hurt her

lemme stop before I write a whole novel in your inbox 😭😭😭

viv!!!! omg going to address this in several sections:

yeah just utterly lost when you’ve got your first important work thing/etc that you cant take time off for. is like how am i supposed to celebrate without her? is totally off during interviews and a bit muted during celebrations. because he’s just a teenager celebrating something without his best friend in the entire world yknow🥺

literally everyone can tell they’re attached at the hip!!!!!! pls and he’s always saying well i don’t think they’re good enough for you about her bfs/dates. even complains about it to people. as teenagers do when they have a crush. and if anyone tries to subtly point it out yeah he just goes um? we’re friends?😐

and hating j*s!!! so real!!! just quietly seething and unable to do anything other than be so angry and gently tell max he deserves better. like she tries to encourage his relationship with his mum and sister more. tries to offer other points of view when j*s gets in his head. tries to comfort him even when it’s hard even when max doesn’t make it easy. because she knows there’s a way through it.

and of course j*s hates her. 1) she’s a distraction from karting. from spending all day and everyday on track. 2) shes a girl! a gender that j*s clearly has no respect for! only puts up with her for the sake of an easy relationship with his colleague. 3) she’s clearly pushing max to set boundaries with him. and stand up for himself😐

his open disdain of her probably reaches it’s highest point in max’s first few seasons in my opinion. when j*s’s grip on max is slipping. when he’s starting to listen to her more about boundaries and taking care of himself/his mental health. when he’s independent and starts to gravitate to her more and more. and he absolutely says something vile to her. and max absolutely stands up for her. is not going to let his dad treat the one person who supports him no matter what like that.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being harsh to one of my group mates?

(📳🎓)

For context, this is in uni, and most of us are between 18 to 20 years old. We've been assigned a group project we need to do basically, and while there were originally 8 of us, for the longest time there were only 5 of us. The other 3 were unavailable for a variety of reasons - until within the past two or so weeks, one of them (I'll call A) started showing up to some lectures. Not all of them mind you, but a couple of them.

Initially I was a bit 'ehhh' on A, simply because he hasn't shown up until now. However the rest of the group wanted to give him a chance, and for the sake of fairness we did. And for the most part, imo, he's been unreliable. He showed up recently to one of our more important sessions (the session essentially being producing a bulk of the work we'd need to do) and was genuinely helpful, but for me the pressing issues I have with him are that

1. He's inconsistent. He only got to that session because we prodded him about it on WhatsApp, and I'm sure that if we didn't he wouldn't have turned up at all

2. He rarely if at all communicates with us. He responded to one person (who I'll call D) twice and another person once. While in person he's a lot better, getting in touch with him otherwise is essentially impossible.

The kicker recently is that in person, we agreed to have a one on one meeting where we'd talk about what we've done so far and what he'll be able to help out with in the future. I arrived to the location, and waited... He never showed up. I texted him multiple times to let him know that if he's late he needs to tell me, and as I'm writing this he still hasn't even bothered to read the messages at all. I let D, who's our group leader, know and they believe he shouldnt share our grade. I agree.

However, the reason why I feel I'm the AH is because he says he's been having some mental health issues. He didn't specify what, just that it's 'been hard getting out of bed' and the like. He may have mentioned depression, but I also can't 100% confirm it. The rest of the group believe we should give him another chance, saying that depression is hard and that we can't expect him to be fine 100% now, and they've even said that D themself is inconsistent when it comes to showing up to meetings, which is true. They say that they themselves have had similar struggles in the past and they sympathise.

While that's fair, I'm also of the opinion that well... He hasn't even done a lot of work. Like at all. He helped during that session but has otherwise done fuck all. From a practical standpoint he doesn't deserve a grade simply because he's done essentially nothing since we started, even if it is because he's been having a bad time. However, he also hasn't had much time to prove himself that he is capable of helping, so it could be that I'm just pre-judging him out of cynicism.

It might also not help that I'm a very practical person when it comes to mental health - I deal with my own shit, tend not to burden anyone with my issues if I can, and just get on with things. My anxieties were rough before uni, and while it's gotten better in some areas it's gotten worse in others. Yknow, stuff like money, if I'm even eating properly, general life, personal circumstances, all that shit. However it might be that A is the type to get buried in his feelings, and my more practical viewpoint is me being way too harsh on someone who is struggling.

While I understand where my group is coming from, I still don't think A should share our grade. Imo he hasnt shown much initiative if at all for the group, and even if he was struggling the fact that he just generally hasn't done anything means I don't think he should share our grade. AITA?

TLDR: Guy in a group has done not much in terms of participating in our group project, because he's been struggling mentally up until now. Group is mostly sympathetic and wants to give him another chance, while I think otherwise, believing he's had enough chances already.

What are these acronyms?

[slexenskee]

Would quirks like Stain's work on Satoru? The thought just popped into my head and it won't leave. Like how does it even work yknow?? Is there a range, is there a limit on how old the blood can be or can stain just. eat a blood clot and it would still paralyze the target? Sorry I got a bit off topic but like quirks. How.

Basically, are there any quirks that can get past his Infinity? And how do quirks work in this verse?

Short answer: yes it would work in theory but in practice probably not. And no, there are no quirks that can get past Infinity. At least not in a conventional way.

Ok I'm not a huge MHA expert but my understanding of quirks is that they're powered by "Plus Alpha Energy", which is basically an amalgamation of physical and genetic traits that make up a person's quirk. I treat it identical to Chakra in Naruto, or Cursed Energy in Jujutsu Kaisen - meaning its like a secondary energy source separate from their physical energy. Kind of like how in video games you have your HP bar but you also usually have a secondary MP bar for spellcasting, and you can run out of Magic even though you still have full Health. But more like the above examples, because I believe in MHA its possible to die /severely injure yourself if you overuse your quirk, so they're not entirely exclusive systems.

According to the wiki there are 3 main types of quirks: transformation types, emitter types, and heteromorphic types. I don't believe they're mutually exclusive, bc someone like Hawks is sort of heteromorphic + emitter (since his feathers are telekinetic). But they all require the use of Plus Alpha Energy. Even for emitter types / telekinetic types, they're using Plus Alpha Energy to control those powers.

For the sake of my sanity, I am treating PAE (I'm going to start shortening it I'm sorry it's annoying to type) like any other energy wave - soundwaves, microwaves, visual light, radiowaves, etc., in that it still needs to move through physical space to get to its target, even if you can't see it. So just like any other energy wave, it can be blocked. I have to imagine this is canon, since quirk-blocking handcuffs exist. (?) Or maybe that's fanon idk. They exist in my story lol.

For the most part, PAE is really only used to interact with the world in a certain way. Examples:

Shouto's emitter PAE creates fire/ice across his skin, and he can push it out in various ways and create ice walls/fire blasts etc but they all have to start at his skin, which is why he can't just point at a building and light it on fire. Katsuki's Explosion is similar.

Eraserheads emitter PAE is in his eyeballs but reacts telekinetically, because he doesn't need to touch people to negate their quirk, just look at them. But PAE is still energy, even though his quirk is activated telekinetically it still needs to travel through reality

Blocking PAE, with handcuffs or Tartarus cells or other quirks like Erasure, stops the PAE from working and therefore stops the quirk. So even 'instantaneous', ranged telekinetic quirks like Erasure, or I imagine any amalgamation of mind control quirks, could theoreteically be stopped by anything that can block PAE. Because PAE is an energy wave, it's possibly for Infinity to block it.

In canon JJK we already see that Gojo can block soundwaves if/when he wants (fight scene with Jogo) - it's not unrealistic to assume he can block all various types of energy waves, radio, ultrasound, etc.

TL;DR: No Quirk can get past Infinity, because it's an energy wave and Infinity can block those.

However!

Infinity is not infallible, because Gojo is not a robot (or actually a god) and has human limitations. He almost always has it up in some capacity (as its canon that he can pick and choose what filters through, i.e., soundwaves and the visible light spectrum etc, can normally pass through) but he does pull the 'physical' barrier down for a lot of reasons.

I also headcanon that he's not as religious about keeping it up at all times as he was in JJK.

So for random examples:

Stain: Let's say he somehow acquires and ingests Gojo's blood. His PAE would then kick in and he would try to telekinetically stop Gojo's body. That PAE still has to travel through space to get to Gojo, and Gojo's Infinity expands the space between himself and the universe endlessly, so it would get stuck forever trying to make contact with Gojo and can never do it. So nope it wouldn't work. ❌

Toga: Again, through a very improbable but not impossible series of events she somehow gets Gojo's blood. Steals it from his regular doctor or something, whatever. She ingests it, and can turn into him/has access to his quirk. Idk if she'd have access to his Cursed Energy, because it's still unclear how much of Cursed Energy is Body vs. Soul. Technically, her quirk does work because it doesn't need to cross Infinity ✅

Naomasa/Makoto: This one was a tough one, definitely had to puzzle it out! I believe their quirks work on the response of the person, not by forcing their quirk onto others. So, Naomasa asks a question. This is just a normal soundwave, interacts like any other human voice. But then Gojo responds. It's his response that Naomasa's PAE interacts with, and since that response already traveled out of his Infinity barrier, Infinity is useless to stop a quirk like this. ✅

Ragdoll: Another one I had to ponder. This would depend on how Ragdoll's quirk works, which we don't know. In my story, I've decided it works by ingesting the PAE of the world around her, analyzing it, and putting that on a mental map. Because her PAE works by absorbing/reading the PAE of others, she's not pushing it out into the world around her in any way. It's Gojo who's pushing out his PAE, because Infinity is a one-way barrier (Gojo's cursed techniques/energy, his voice/soundwaves, and his kinetic/physical force all can pass the barrier). So Ragdoll's quirk would work on Gojo, because it doesn't need to try to pass his Infinity barrier. Gojo's PAE naturally leaves his barrier on its own. ✅

Eri: Her Rewind canonically doesn't need physical touch, if I'm not mistaken? I feel like i saw a panel somewhere where it's going haywire and affects everyone in her vicinity. Either way it's irrelevant, it still doesn't work on Infinity. It emits from her horn and is pushed out into the world around her either, by touch or possibly telekinetically, which means Infinity will stop the PAE before it reaches Gojo. And she wouldn't accidentally hurt Gojo either, even if he had Infinity down already because he's carrying her or whatever, because his Six Eyes would be able to see the surge of PAE in her horn before it manifests and react accordingly by pulling Infinity up. ❌

Shinsou: His quirk is basically him lacing his voice with PAE. Because its traveling through the air as both an energy wave and a sound wave, it gets stopped by Infinity. ❌

Basically, the rule of thumb for whether Gojo would be affected by someone's quirk is how their PAE interacts with the world. Any quirk that a user internalizes/doesn't push out of themselves will work on him, while anything that tries to force its way through his barrier will not.

Gojo >>> Quirk ✅

Gojo <<< Quirk ❌

[my-castles-crumbling]

hello cas

i dont remember if my ask was before or after you said about the hidden inbox thing so i figured i may as well resend and if youve already seen it and not got around to it yet, feel free to ignore this :)

im an active ao3 author and have a tumblr blog (obviously lol) that i use both to share stuff about the marauders and sort of like a weird lil place to just talk about stuff in my life (yknow like cooking accomplishments, i went ice skating recently and talked a bit about it, just random stuff) and although i do talk and write about a lot of my personal stuff too (i.e. projecting mental health stuff onto characters and posting mh resources and advice etc) theres one thing ive never talked about either on my blog or in my writing and i sort of feel like i should be?

im losing my vision and am expected to be blind completely within like, 20 years maybe? doctors have been unclear lol (im currently 20 y/o and am at about 70% vision) and ive honestly made peace with it so its not like im touchy about it or sensitive. its the hand ive been dealt, yknow? ive been learning braille and am almost at the point where i just need to get more comfortable and confident with it to get faster and stuff and im not the only one in my family to have this either

but i *never* talk about it online. i feel like i should be talking about it though, shouldnt i? i mean, i read people putting their disabilities onto characters all the time to create representation, but i rarely read about blind/vision impaired characters, so should i (as a visually impaired person) be creating that representation?

as i said it wouldnt be the first time ive projected, either for the sake of storytelling or to process stuff in my life, so i dont know why i havent done it before, i just havent. i think im maybe nervous that since ive spent so long *not* talking about, it might be weird to suddenly bring it up now? i dont know. it also kinda feels like if i talk about it then itll be like 'ugh, of course theres another thing wrong with you, just keep piling stuff on' and its like, would i even be believed? its the internet after all, and i know i dont need validation from strangers about something in my life but i dont want to be told im faking it by people who dont even know me, just because i already talk about issues in my life

but it just feels like something i should be talking about. i dont know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hi! Yes, I answered this one here!

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

Aww!!! I love your new Ayato story. To be honest, when I read the tags and the description, it was very hard for me to imagine a combination between Ayato and drugs, but I was very wrong, because now I started to get addicted to this story as well as Ayato. The idea feels so real and doable. I'm even now convinced that if Ayato was human in the canon universe, without those supernatural powers and vampiric sadism, he'd handle the situation in a similar way, since there's no way he'd be the asocial loser in class (-: However, his super beauty as a vampire doesn't work here, and it wouldn't be realistic just to exist to have friends :-*

hey anon! thank you so much! i'm excited to continue it, hoping i get another chapter in before christmas. here's the fic for anyone wondering, it's called the basketball diaries and i'll ramble a lil bit here, don't mind me.

putting it under a cut for discussions of drugs

so i've been writing drug addict fics for a real long time now and i generally consider myself able to make any character into an addict, primarily due to my wide scope of knowing and under the pretext of "it can happen to anyone", and in dialovers, i've now written shu, reiji, laito, subaru, ruki, kou, yuma and azusa. hence i moved to ayato.

ayato has gone up a lot in my heart since i first found dialovers in 2017 and especially since my re-obsession era in 2021. the more i read him, esp LE, the more i learn about his strengths and weaknesses. he's vulnerable, he's got academic trauma. he wants to do well, he does, but he's scared of trying because he doesn't want to make himself look stupid.

and contrary to the ayato can't read joke on my DL server, ayato can read and i think he's pretty smart if he really wants to do something. i.e. his MB after story he DOES get a degree but it's for yui's sake. he has to have a reason. and without said reason, he's void of motivation and frankly doesn't really know HOW to try.

you're right, ayato acts like a silly goofy big strong vampire because he's convincing himself he's The Shit. he bigs himself up as Yours Truly, pretends he's the best, because his entire self-worth growing up was based on the assumption he was going to be The Best. and if he's not The Best, then he's a failure.

when you combine that mindset with a situation where he obviously isn't going to be the best, you have a perfect recipe to write a drug fic i think.

he can't possibly be that guy with no friends, he wants to be liked and the best. but most importantly, he has a deep intrinsic desire to be the best academically too. but he never learnt to study, he has zero self-worth, and starting uni away from his closest brothers (laito n subaru in this case) in a difficult degree is challenging. couple this with the fact i gave him ADHD bc ADHD ayato has my heart, he's lost. and because being the best in his mind is more important than his own health and sense of self, he'd be willing to do anything to maintain that. and if he found a drug which does that for him, why wouldn't he use it, yknow?

i won't spoil too much about the fic there by mentioning yui's role in this (bc yui doesn't appear until ch11 unfortunately), but this is an overview of why i'm so excited to write an ayato addict fic finally.

on a similar note, next up Might be shin, actually. shin has potential, mostly from stuff in his LE. because of endzeit, shin very much has this mindset where he needs to prove he's sick in order to get validation. like he needs to be sick to prove something about himself. obviously if this weren't canon then endzeit can't be a thing, but i could talk for hours and hours and HOURS about the "needs to be ill to get validation of health" trauma (mainly due to personal experience) and it'd be really interesting to write in the context of drug addiction!

[thecoolerliauditore]

hater hour 👍

i feel like... maybe this is just me but ive been noticing this weird kind of disturbing trend of people being way overprotective of the CCs whilst increasingly aggressive towards their fellow fandom artists/writers.

We all love gem on here. i think it'd be preaching to the choir to say she didn't deserve the hate she got for. Existing in the series or whatever people were mad about. but more and more people seem to think that any negativity is Bad and Affects The CCs and when they list examples it's all like. idk. ppl not liking the SL mechanic or the watcher lore or certain gimmicks (zombie apocalypse comes to mind) etc etc

while we are not owed any level of quality for entertainment getting put out by mcyters For Free, this is still a series that means a lot to me and most of the fandom take it seriously. so it can be disappointing when it feels like decisions are made for the sake of rushing things or forcing something specific to happen. Limlife is my least favourite season by a pretty long margin because i think it was pretty apparent the cast were very burnt out during it and I would like for them to make the series at their own pace instead of doing that. I still loved limlife and think it's super funny i just think it was weighed down by a lot of things.

when secret life came to close i loved the ending but the fandom space. scared me a little and it still does kind of reek ngl. i saw blocks of text telling people to shut the fuck up about their favourite pairings or characters because How Dare they not appreciate every other person just as much Alot. and now im seeing people say we should "know our place" as fans and never voice our "entitled" discontent because the poor CCs are just doing this for fun. as someone who tries to dig deep on every individual character and relationship it just all felt a little bit. Violent.

This + ive been seeing a lot more people recently who are like. very very mad about the way people draw the CCs?? i know i do my fair share of hating on hybrid designs and being the fun police but like. people are genuinely out here accusing others of being Evil for not drawing specific body types to match characters to CCs while in the same breath saying that character/CC divide is obvious. +people being mad about like. arghh ear wings are dumb!! everyone who draws [specific headcanon] should be melted into wax!! so on and so forth

can we please stop assuming that tumblr user 69 saying lmao watcher lore dumb is going to give martyn inthelittlewood depression irl and start thinking about the mental health of more inexperienced artists who straight up Don't Know how to draw certain features yet that they're the scum of the earth for it in a space that's supposed to be fun.

if you're asking for people critiquing the series itself (one of the most popular mcyt series as a whole right now) to do it more gently and politely the least we can do is ask the same etiquette for talking about fanwork pls. that's also yknow. made for fun and shared for free 👍

[autisticjoshrusso]

What are your favorite Josh headcanons?

its the way that im so incapable of shutting the fuck up about this guy but the moment i get asked directly im like UHHHH IDK. so apologies if this is kind of a mess <3 also i rarely think about cute and fluffy things i am always digging deep into trauma and such so uh yeah these are going to be on the heavier side.

The biggest one is obviously that he's autistic, shocking I know. Who would've guessed this would be a dearly held headcanon of tumblr user autisticjoshrusso. It truly makes me so insane and I'm incapable of like... properly summarizing it in its entirety so I am actually working on going through ep by ep breaking down my thoughts about it. So far there's just this one post, but I am slowly but surely working through a series rewatch and doing this along the way. So. Stay tuned? JKDFHKJ

I think he was very obviously Gay even as a child and that it definitely affected his ability to socialize throughout his entire childhood and adolescence. Like he's very much giving "only had female friends who may or may not have treated him like an actual human person and not their accessory GBF". And he still leans into that "persona" sometimes as an adult because it's an easy way to be liked <3 again its the autism but yknow.....

Speaking of childhood, he's giving only child to me. And I think his relationship to his parents is just... non-existent. He didn't deliberately cut contact, it wasn't any sort of dramatic abuse situation, they just... aren't close? It's that thing where they knew he was gay from the start but also never really knew how to handle it, never being fully accepting but not outright hateful, just a very awkward medium that made it difficult to form a lasting bond into adulthood. They text once per holiday and are friends on Facebook.

This one doesn't really have much of a canon basis but rather builds on my other headcanons, and that's that growing up being a Known Gay led him to well... his own kind of Buck 1.0 era, so to speak. Basically being the favorite secret hookup for every deeply closeted sports bro, which was horrific for his mental health but was like... scraps of attention/intimacy that he wouldn't get otherwise, so why not keep doing it? I like this one because not only does it make the whole trying to avoid a meaningless hookup when he rejoined dating apps thing more meaningful and hurt even more than it already does, but also adds a new layer of substance to his beef with Eddie that I think is really interesting.

The timeline of this show is all sorts of fucked so I've just decided that like... he either just turned or will soon be turning 40, and definitely has some feelings about that because when he was younger he did NOT expect he'd live to be that old <3 Not necessarily in an active ideation way, but more of a passive disregard for his life and just general queer pessimism? I hold that Sue saved his life twice, first in the fire and then by giving him a job that gave him an actual sense of purpose and direction for probably the first time ever. Every time he thinks about the fact he might actually end up being a proper Queer Elder he just?? surprised pikachu meme.

I was going to just do five of these but for the sake of not having all of these be sad as fuck, one last bonus one for you is that I think his main special interest(s) is celebrities and films and pop culture and stuff like that <3 like he WILL infodump about the lead actress' entire filmography before you can actually watch the movie.

Thank you for asking I love talking about my favorite special guy <3 Minor characters are my absolute favorite and I love to come up with deeper backstories than what we're given based on over-analyzing all of their behaviors <3

[tauforged]

#1: I love finding someone with a unique/rare ship or headcannon.

#2: the interaction with Sigma and Sombra, where Sigma is saying Moira is going to run some tests on him, how do you think Ramattra would respond to hearing that?

#3 do they have any nick names for each other?

AW TEEHEE THANKYOU!!! its been a while since ive had the motivation to like, draw or write anything for em but rest assured im thinking about them so so so much... youve activated my autism trap card though i have an INSANE amount of convoluted opinions on the nature of character dynamics between sigma and sombra as well as sigma and moira and im taking this opportunity to babble about it. sorry in advance.

as for the interaction, personally im of the opinion that said 'tests' are literallly.... just tests. as in like, yknow, bloodwork, scans to make sure the implants and augments he has are actually working to redirect excess pressure and kinetic energy from his vital organs when using his abilities ... ive talked about how i think that sorta stuff works more in this post but tldr is that a lot of the tech and equipment hes using is of his own design and VERY experimental, hes pretty much flying blind here so he kind of has to make changes as he goes and so it's kinda important that his health and safety are taken into account. and he also has a bit of a uhhh. demonstrable history of disregarding his own safety for the sake of his research. it would kind of make sense that theyd be going out of their way to make sure someone stays on him about actually doing the damn tests and keeping track of the results. it just so happens that he's really averse to letting just anyone Examine (tm) him because of. yknow. the everything. and moira happens to fit the bill of being A. someone he feels he can trust to not take things too far (whether or not he's making a good choice here is up for debate, but i think he could do worse) and B. actually have a degree of knowing what she's doing. i definitely think that the only reason she's bothering at least initially is her own curiosity about everything he's got going on, but he also does just really feel like the type to jsut kind of naturally be very endearing . ive said before that a lot of their interactions read as playful to me, at least on his end - he DEFINITELY sounds like he's messing with her on purpose. i think he does genuinely regard her as a friend, and for the most part, he's probably right - even if she's a bit cranky about it. i have a LOT of thoughts about their relationship too honestly probably far too many to cram into this one post LMFAO i think about the dynamic a lot. im a moira apologist idc i think that she is capable of being nice sometimes. just because shes kind of a cunt sometimes doesnt mean shes needlessly cruel, like not only do i feel like messing with his head and experimenting on him given his history would be kinda kicking him while he's down. but ALSO, i feel like she's smart enough to know that making him an enemy would be a baaaad idea. he can literally explode people with his mind. she knows better than to give him any reason to be genuinely mad at her, and i do think he would absolutely NOT tolerate any kind of treatment like that ever again unless it was on his terms and he had the power to just leave if it got to be too much. even as it is, i think the entire process is a bit of a sore spot for him and not exactly something he's thrilled about, hence his hesitation in that interaction - not because it's happening against his will so much as he's regarding it the same way i think about having to go get blood drawn. it's not fun, but it's gotta happen somehow.

all that to say, i think upon overhearing discussion of said 'tests' without further context mattra would NOT be happy about it, likely getting defensive the same way sombra does. he'd probably be a lot harder to dissuade than she is tbh, i dont know if he'd really take moira's word for it that there's nothing underhanded going on here unless sig told him so himself, and even then it would still put his hackles up. he's probably very nosy about it for a very long time. just to be safe.

as far as nicknames/pet names go, in my mind theyre both very... awkward about these kinda things i guess if that makes sense? emotional vulnerability comes easily for NEITHER of them, between sig still recovering from decades of isolation and mattra just naturally being very guarded and bitter (for good reason!) and not used to outwardly expressing his care for others, especially not for some random human who seems to have decided that they're friends. to me, their dynamic is very much one of tentativeness and battling with distrust and insecurity. i think it would take a very, very long time to get there, and even longer to actually be able to casually say stuff like that without wanting to explode and die on the spot. i do think sig is a bit more outwardly affectionate than mattra, but even then, a lot of it is kinda tempered by the fact that he's just very forward with everyone about everything at this point - he's kind of desperate for positive connections with others that he can hold onto, so he's reached a point where it doesn't take much to get him to consider someone a friend and he's not exactly hiding it anymore. oh, i dropped something and you picked it up before i had a chance to? sick, we are now besties and i would kill for you.

i think that sort of attitude would catch ramattra off guard and he'd not really know how to react to any of it. sig could call him anything at this point, but if it's in an affectionate tone he WILL bluescreen about it. ramattra.exe has encountered an error and must restart

i do really like sig's valentines voiceline, so i might just roll with 'starlight' even if it's a bit cheesy... hell, now that i think about it, i think he'd do that specifically BECAUSE it's cheesy and will probably elicit an eye-roll or a 'stop that'. he seems to enjoy pushing people's buttons. maybe bothering his friends is his love language idk

[the-trans-dragon]

Vent

Content: covid, management trying to hide it, etc

Two coworkers came in late wearing masks, and the managers were instructed to not speak about it. The coworkers were happy to let us know that 3 family/housemates (two adults and a baby) just tested positive for covid.

They put both of them right next to a coworker who has cancer and is doing radiation, and next to me (immune system sillay disease) and another immunocompromised worker.

Enough people complained, and the two “not sick but family are sick” people were moved elsewhere. They didn’t care at all.

Meanwhile, the people who voiced complaints about being exposed to unnecessary risks—they both got scolded, called childish, and told “from now on, when people are sick, they need to keep it to themselves. That’s your own business. I mean we can’t make you, because that’s your information, but… Yeah.”

:|

Fun fact: transparency and communication would have prevented this issue. They could have been assigned other registers at the start.

Like damn. There wasn’t even an issue of “that’s personal information and we can’t share it.” They were happy to fill everyone in about the issue when they got to work. It was just management.

This is not the first time they’ve done the whole “ooh, someone is sick? Don’t tell the employees, they’ll freak out” thing. I wish my management wouldn’t risk the health of me and my loved ones for the sake of, yknow, a liquor store.

[axesilly]

i cant afford therapy so im going to talk about my troubles on here because i dont know what else to do 👍 i dont know if this will reach anyone but it might make me feel better. sorry if its a bit lengthy, ive had these feelings for a while

for the sake of anonymity and my own safety i will not be mentioning any names of people, towns, or schools :]

so im in college, im an art major. im from a small town with nothing to do except go to a mall the next town over and im going to college in another small town 5 hours away from home. this small town also has jack shit to do unless you drive 45 minute to an hour away. im currently in my spring semester of my freshman year and i have gotten so absolutely mentally and physically drained since i got a fast food job. i got a job making pizzas at yknow one of those big chain corporations pizza places, and the store i work at has only been open a few months. its absolutely chaotic and no one knows how to do anything except a few select people. my boss, the general manager, also doesnt know how to do anything because its his first time doing something like this. one of the other managers also only works there because hes friends with the general manager and he is not the greatest person, as he tends to sexually harrass the staff including a friend i made there. now ive already put in my two weeks last saturday, but that doesnt take away from how drained this job has made me.

Since the spring semester started ive been constantly piled with work (one week i was scheduled 6 days in a row when i had a big project to work on, i had a breakdown at work to my general manager), writing assignments, and project after project. (not even kidding my drawing professor gives us a new project the same day we turn one in) in my senior year of high school i loved fine arts and i believed that i wanted to follow in my art teachers footsteps and pursue my love of art and make art for my career. and while i do still love fine arts and making art, i just cannot do this constantly. since just before my spring break i started not going to my classes as consistently and i swore to myself i would start going again after the break. well that break just made it worse it seems because everything has just gone more and more downhill. i have still been missing classes because some days its difficult to get out of bed and i do not have the motivation to go to class just to sit there and not be able to pay attention for an hour/hour and a half. im behind on a project for one of my classes because i havent gone since ive been back from spring break (two weeks). i have an exam for one of my classes soon and im not even close to prepared. i had a 3 page essay due last night i started but havent finished (luckily i can turn it in a little late). it may sound lazy but these are my real struggles with my mental health. i feel trapped here. i do have a license and a car, i do have transportation so i can go places, but its such an old car it has so many problems (one which has arisen recently being if i stop somewhere and turn my car off, it wont crank back up immediately and i have to wait 10-15 minutes, and once it is on i have to revv it to make sure it stays on). so because of car problems and currently living in a small town im frustrated because it feels like i cant go anywhere to do anything fun. i feel trapped in my dorm and in my mind.

now comes the college problem. the college i go to currently is a nice school, i get 8 meals a week on my meal plan included in my tuition. theres several places to choose from the eat at, theres a gym, free health exams i think. but its driving me insane seeing the same old brick buildings every damn day. i currently dont have a roommate so im in a dorm by myself which probably contributes to this feeling of lonliness. i dont really have many friends, i had more last semester but they did not keep in touch. i do have one friend that i appreciate very much and she always worries and wants to help when she sees im upset. shes a real one. but seeing the same things, learning about the same repetitive lessons every single day, has driven me insane. my art history class has been the same topics since the start of the semester, its all been about works of art pertaining to jesus, and mary, and god and the angel telling mary shes pregnant and marys purity and this symbolizing that and i understand why its important to learn about these works of art and how they have shaped art today, but i cannot stand hearing the same things over and over. im not a christian, and i dont believe theres anything wrong with christianity as long as youre not hurting anyone with your beliefs, but these topics are so repetitive ever class i have. the semesters almost over and we havent even gotten to modern art yet, and in my opinion thats what truly matters to learn about because thats what we as artists would need to look at to have a reference for how we should make our art right? art is about expressing yourself and we need to see how others making art in the modern era are expressing themselves as well. and on the topic of expressing ourselves, my drawing class, every single project, my professor has us stick to such strict criteria. one of my projects my professor actually really liked, i liked, but she took points off because i had my girlfriends name written very small where you could barely even see, because we were not supposed to have any text. i feel like i cannot even be creative and truly express myself with these projects. i dont feel like i have any real freedom with them. i love fine arts and i love making art, but not when its like this. i want to be able to make my own art that actually expresses my feelings, not someone elses criteria. because of all of this my grades have been rapidly dropping.

now i have already made the decision weeks ago that i will not be returning to this school in the next fall semester. i discussed this with my mom already as she does the majority of my paperwork and things for this stuff. she wants me to transfer to a college closer to home so i can atleast get a general studies degree. but thats not what i want to do either. she told me not to flunk my classes this semester because that will make it difficult to transfer me to another school, but how do you expect me to get good grades when i constantly feel like im in hell in my mind. i mentioned wanting to maybe take a gap year, she doesnt want me to do that. school is horrible for my mental health like this, i dont understand why society thinks we should just have everything we want to do with the rest of our life figured out immediately out of high school. well i dont. and i dont want to stay in college immediately out of high school. i want to go live my life! me and my girlfriend are long distance (we have met in person several times and shes actually coming to visit me this month, but just seeing each other for a week at a time is not enough) and i really want to go live with her! i want to enjoy living and living with the person i love more than life itself! i currently dont feel like i can do that here or back home. i want to move somewhere else with my girlfriend so we can both be happy and love life. i want to move out of state to a slightly bigger city, nothing crazy like new york or atlanta, but just somewhere bigger than a small town with nothing to do whatsoever. i do have a place in mind but im not going to say where. and when i move, after a year i can qualify for in state tuition and pursue something that makes me happier. ive always loved animals and marine animals so i was thinking i could major in zoology and marine biology and work at an aquarium or something while im working on my degree. and i dont fully know how the paperwork and things work for transferring and such, especially after a break, so i could be in the wrong, but is it really wrong for wanting the best for myself?

and to be honest with myself i know exactly why im in college and its not to get a degree. i was raised constantly being compared to my siblings. my brother is trans (which my parents are very obviously not too fond of) dropped out of college and joined the military. my sister dropped out of college after a semester, got married to a horrible man who she just recently divorced after having two children with him. and being compared to them all my life, especially to my brother, made me want to be better than them. i wanted to be the one, as the youngest, to be the first one to get through college immediately, all four years, no problem. but its just too much for me. and dropping out, moving away, im terrified. im terrified that my parents will be disappointed in me. im terrified of that face my mother makes, that tone of voice, when shes disappointed in me for something. im terrified of getting lectured and told why everything i want is wrong. its irrational. and im terified if i move away i wont have her support anymore. i wont have her to lean on when i need help with something. i was never taught where to go or how to do stuff for applying to colleges and transferring. i barely know how to do my taxes.

now i really dont know what this article-like rant of a tumblr post is gonna do. i know i dont really have a following and i dont really post on here. but i just thought itd make me feel better to collect my thoughts and put them all together like this. so far the only people concerned about me have been my girlfriend and a couple of my friends ive told about these problems. not even my professors are concerned about me, i havent even gotten a single email or question about how im doing. they say theyre all for mental health but when a student stops coming to class as often suddenly and starts failing or not turning in assignments its none of their business and i must just be getting lazy and im a horrible student yknow? anyways i think thats about it for this. again i dont really know what this will do but i hope someone has advice or support or something. im going insane here.

love to anyone else suffering similar struggles <3

[solarpunkani]

"But Ani, why do you think solarpunks should make worm bins?"

A lot of reasons! If you're wanting to start a garden, or if you already have a garden, a worm bin can be a great addition to get you compost (albeit not as large an amount of compost as a traditional compost pile but I digress). They're somewhat small, so they can be tucked into a corner of the garden or even in your house under the sink or in the garage. (I keep my bin outside but I digress). Even if you personally don't garden, if you have a friend who gardens, you could possibly trade worm castings for something else? Bartering and all. Yknow.

They're pretty low maintenance, in my experience--though I'll make clear, this is coming from a person who lives in Florida and keeps their bin outside, so when it comes to my experience your mileage may vary. I keep my bin in the shade by a tree, started off with about a pound of worms. Making it wasn't super complicated--mine is a big storage bin with holes drilled into the bottom and lid, with a layer or two of weedblock on the bottom. Filled it with torn up paper and dirt, released the worms, tossed in some food, and we were off to the races. Asides from adding that weed block layer and stacking it on top of like. 2 bricks. I haven't had to do any maintenance at all.

"But Ani don't you need a lot of food scraps to feed the worms" well that depends on what you consider a lot. But I'll say this. My home currently consists of me, my mom, and my dad (and my dog but she's not contributing food scraps to the worm bin). When I made the bin in 2020, my parents didn't think we'd make enough scraps to feed the worms. Now, in 2023, my dad worries we are feeding the worms too much. I suggested making a second bin to him, and he said 'huh. Maybe.' Whereas convincing him to let me make the first bin took months. You would be surprised at what all can go in a worm bin--especially if you aren't super picky about weeds and plant cuttings going in. In my experience, the only thing my worms don't like are grass clippings. Almost anything that isn't meat or already cooked can be worm bin food. Cleaning the fridge and found a vegetable you forgot existed for 3 months? Worm bin. Your neighbors left their Jack-O-Lanterns on the side of the road on November 1st for the trash pickup? Worm bin. Family came over to cook for Thanksgiving and you've got corn husks, potato peels, cabbage scraps, egg shells, and all kind of stuff headed for the trash? Grab a ziploc bag and give it to the worms later. Like to snack on fruits? Rinds, cores, peels--worm bin time. Bread went bad? Worm bin time. Clearing up the garden to start a new season? Worm bin. If you really wanted, or had the dedication and size, you could even get a few neighbors contributing to the worm bin (note: I don't have any neighbors contributing to my worm bin, but the kids next door do like to come to the backyard and look inside).

I'm not gonna pretend to be the healthiest eater on the planet--I'm more than willing to admit that I'm picky as hell. Even so, lately I've been finding myself trying to eat more fruits and veggies for the sake of feeding the worms the scraps. Potential health benefits of worm bin.

"Ani you mentioned making a second worm bin?" Yup! And the process would be easy! Just make a second bin, take a scoopful or two of worms from the first bin and add them into the second. Give them some food, and bam! Worms multiply fairly quickly, and will continue to eagerly reproduce according to how much food they're getting--large, consistent feedings means more worms, but even a handful can munch through a nice amount!

Now, you gotta keep in mind that earthworms are invasive in some areas--I know some parts of the US don't have native earthworms, so the ones that are brought over can do serious damage to forests there. If you're in those areas, either be extremely cautious with your worm bin or don't keep one.

Buuut I would like to encourage the Solarpunks to at least consider a worm bin. Let the wriggly guys into your heart.

PS: you don't gotta touch the worms with your hands at any point in the process. At most, I've held them with gloved hands, but usually I'm using either a hand shovel or a big shovel to dig into the bin.

PPS: if you keep your bin outside sometimes things will get inside. I've gotten small frogs, baby lizards, and occasionally roaches (which was mostly when I was putting pizza boxes in the bin, when I stopped doing that I stopped getting any/as many roaches in the bin). IDK about indoors though that's not my ballpark.

Dear Solarpunks

Consider making a worm bin.

Strong message to follow.

[s4pphoiduser]

i love how soukoku has each other as dislikes in their wikis but in dead apple when they all thought dazai had sided with the enemy and died, chuuya just decides he'll kill himself saving the world. he really just: what's the point in living if dazai's not alive

[ask-another-clone]

So...

I’ve been back and forth on this for what seems like forever but for my own sake I need finally make a choice so I stop beating myself up over it.

When I first came back to the PokeAsk community with this blog, my goal was to get into that ever elusive “Finished Blog Club”. I was so determined! I finally had a story to tell about character I loved, and I still care about this blog very much so! But my brain has a nasty habit of hyping myself up for projects and then leaving them to gather dust. I hate it but if my mind isn’t in it, it becomes genuinely draining to continue on. Plus, as I have mentioned before, I’m getting married in June. With The Other Q finishing up his degree by the end of the year as well we’ve been making plans for where to go from there and what we want to do. Life forces you to move on even if you don’t want to, yknow? I enjoy fandom content but I’ve come to realize I’ve been using it as a safety net of sorts. It’s easier to create content when the background is already in place for you, and you can just explain almost anything away as a “headcanon”. I need to teach myself to branch out and flex my story telling glands on more original works. I need to not be scared of creating original content.

That, and...It seems like drama is really on and off these days. I really wanted to help be a beacon of positivity within the community but as time went on and it was one thing after another it became harder. I wanted to reach out and make friends but the more the environment was muddied with the drama the more I felt..Scared? Unsafe, I guess? Hard to say. I may sound selfish but I suppose I’m just trying to look out for my own mental health first so I apologize. 

Negative aspects aside, it’s been a wonderful number of years in this community. I’ve met so many wonderfully talented artists and cannot thank you all enough for the overwhelming amount of support and love I have received during my time here. 

I may lurk around and you may see me like a post or leave a comment every now and again, but as far as this blog’s story goes it’s on hiatus. I don’t know if this is a permanent goodbye as my mind still hasn’t fully settled into a decision, so for now we can call it a see you later.  I’ll be closing the askbox after today so if you have any comments or questions feel free to shoot me one for the time being.

Take care of yourselves, alright?    ~Mod Q

Twitter | Personal Tumblr 

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

i "love" how you completely ignored that i'm actively helping trans people get the care they need. yup, i "hate" trans people so much that i make sure they're navigating medical gatekeeping, which is direct violent transphobia. yes, this includes "real" and "fake" (according to you) trans people which must mean i "hate" trans people even more. i know trans people that have had to de-transition and go back into the closet. as i said, google that shit because you don't know what you're talking about. you've clearly never spoken to any trans people outside your little online group, and that's honestly really sad. and the only reason you won't say your race, which is directly tied to how people view gender, is because you're white - as i pointed out in the beginning: a white transmed. shocking. you don't want to acknowledge that you're a privileged, entitled transphobe that is harming other trans people. also, i "love" how you've been rewording everything to fit your ridiculous bigotry. to end this, i don't forgive you. because you're a transphobe. you don't deserve forgiveness.

Do you genuinely expect me to believe you're some warrior for trans medical rights when you're spending a truly bizarre amount of time anonymously harassing a trans person just because they disagree with you...? I don't believe everything I read on the internet lmao especially when it comes from people like you who enjoy sending anon transphobic rants.

And yeah, I do think you hate trans people AND detrans people given you believe you can choose to be trans and that every person who has ever detransitioned only did so because of societal transphobia.

As for 'I've never spoken to trans people outside of online' I don't really engage with anybody on social media about trans things, as I said, that includes private messages or whatever else. The trans people I talk to are the trans people who are my roommates lmao and live in the same house as me.

I have said before and I'll say it again: I am not going to share ANY personal information about myself beyond I am FtM, above the age of 18, and bisexual. Nobody, including you, is entitled to my personal information for the sake of a fucking tumblr argument lmao. Especially when you aren't even coming off anon? You want me to tell you what marginalised groups I am/am not a part of when you won't even share your trumblr url?

I am not rewording things, I am expressing my views and opinions. It's not my fault if you can't understand that. Also, your forgiveness does not matter, actually. I still don't believe you're a nondysphoric fully transitioned extreme social activist for trans rights whether you forgive me or not; and if you genuinely are helping nondysphroric people access trans health care, you are actively harming trans people. You are hurting dysphoric people, and you are actively contributing to trans suffering by preventing dysphoric people from getting ahold of, again, LIFE SAVING MEDICAL CARE. I know you don't care about that, I know. I know you don't give a single shit that HRT and surgeries genuinely save the lives of many, many dysphoric people. You've made that abundantly clear in all of your yknow, persistent transphobic harassment.

[k4txlulzz]

you see, i don't see saeyoung's behavior as hurtful enough to warrant her ignoring his genuinely alarming mental health state . she, quite literally, pushed him down and listened to him plead for help, talk about how the pain is too much to bear and proceeded to tell him to ignore it all for the sake of getting back the cheerful seven for, i assume, her personal entertainment . what he says in that scene is stuck in my head because of how genuinely heartbreaking it was that mc refused to acknowledge such extreme pain from someone who cares . i remembered all those times i myself was that emotional and felt like my feelings were not noticed, it really does sting and i care about seven as a character so i dunno . . it sucked seeing him like that too . at the end of the day, i believe by invalidating his struggle by ignoring it, she pushes an already suffering person to bottle up the negative emotions and, indirectly leads him to a practical suicide, at worst

i don't think she becomes the abuser, nor do i deny that she felt hurt by his behavior . but his behavior is just mean and cold at worst, a facade he very quickly drops at, for example, simply seeing mc being scared of a cockroach😭 his voice drips with desperation even at his meanest and to me is not convincing at all ; not enough for me to think that it was that difficult to deal with in the first place . speaking of which, this is where i get biased because the notion of being too complicated to be loved (what he himself believed and said) is triggering to me personally and i feel the need to defend saeyoung because i was not and never will be put off by his attitude in his route, nor do i like seeing it with other folks. i have had many moments as a kid where i loathed myself for being "too much" for other people, being "difficult" and therefore, undeserving of love .

moving on, i don't think mystic messenger is about doing emotional labor for people and putting up with their bs . all these characters are hurt and their respective traumas have affected the way they act and live; dealing with that and trying to be there for your beloved person through difficult times is what the story is about, in my opinion. because every human being is shaped by their life experience and sometimes those experiences create negative traits. i mention her general behavior as "bare minimum" because i truly do see her supporting him through horrific situations and comforting him when his life is, frankly, a nightmare, as bare minimum for someone that is supposed to be his lover (i was mainly thinking of secret ending episodes, as thats when they are officially a couple but i think this point still stands in the route itself, as they are still friends there at least)

i like mc ! i absolutely dont have anything against her and there is definitely something to be said about how women are expected to do emotional labour for men all the time. but i think there is a line between that and just supporting your partner/close one through tough times when they need it. the main "moral" is not gendered to me with mystic messenger, its about being able to comfort my favorite blorbo because all saeyoung has ever done is be a caring, warm and gentle person but has been broken down by life, yknow? a person like him, i think, deserves the kind of treatment hes getting from mc and even more !

by the way, im glad we agree on disliking V because i truly think he failed saeyoung as a parental figure, even if he truly cared

cheritz is so silly because they show you how seven is literally SUFFERING THROUGH HELL despite not deserving any of it and tell you "yeah worry about him ! hes so sad!" but then turn around and have the player get treated as some holy selfless angel for worrying about him a tiny bit like ???? BRO HES SUPPOSED TO BE MC'S PARTNER LIKE ???😭😭😭 it's basic human decency to care

"thank u sm mc !! ur so selfless mc !!" she's literally doing the bare minimum . what do you mean .

god i wish cheritz would let the player tell him how truly deserving he is of everything and more because. you don't get to return his devotion and it drives me up a wall . he always gives and gives and gives and you don't get to defend him or protect him . like he gets shot and they don't have the mc NEARLY as worried as she should be ? VANDERWOOD AND V EXPRESS MORE WORRY😭 (fuck v btw . he didnt even try to salvage his relationship with saeyoung when he absolutely could)

they don't even show his brother be nearly as protective of him as he himself is😭

saeyoung choi deserves so so so much better than he is given good LORD . this has me tweaking chat