#for the last week or so I've even been thinking like wow! I am handling stress almost concerningly well!

[tj-crochets]

Follow up question on this topic that is going to sound like a joke but it isn't: How do you tell when you are stressed enough that you need to stop what you are doing and go do something to de-stress if you don't have "oncoming allergy migraine symptoms" to warn you? Like, the silver lining of all my health issues is that they give very unignorable signs when I need something (I can't always interpret them correctly, but that's a different problem). My "uh oh better go take a five minute break and calm down" sign was high blood pressure, low (for me) heart rate, shakiness, and a feeling like I was about to burst into tears despite not feeling sad Yesterday, I got very, very stressed at work. I accidentally pushed right past the threshold that normally would have been my stop point, because I did not have the physical symptoms, until I realized I was so overstimulated I couldn't listen to music (a thing that has literally never happened to me before) So I have to re-learn how to tell when I am stressed. It's not the first time I've had to relearn a basic life skill when I got a health issue more under control, but I admit I'm kinda stumped on how to figure this one out

So on the plus side I apparently unexpectedly reached some threshold of stabilizing my mast cells and have had a few reactions with no migraine or nausea! I'm experiencing acute stress without having bad tachycardia or shaking or having a little bit of that whole "impending sense of doom!" On the minus side I seem to have gone back to hives????? I used to get hives from like 2015ish to like 2019ish, when I finally mostly got my allergies under control*, and then I mostly just stopped having hives. Like. At all. I might have contact dermatitis on like hands knees or elbows if I happened to touch pollen from the Mystery Plant I am allergic to** but I did not get the spontaneous hives on my joints all the time, and now I had one on my hip and I feel like my hand is trying to get one and maybe my knee????? This is definitely a huge step down in terms of severity, significantly less likely to have side effects that land me in the hospital, but I am so confused. Happy about it! Hope it lasts! But so confused. Also (and I do remember this from the few times I got hives once I started antihistamines), feeling a hive try to form while on high doses of antihistamines is so weird. I feel like if I get into too much detail it might squick y'all out but trust me it's a weird feeling. Each individual hive since I've been on daily antihistamines, with one notable exception, lasts less than an hour instead of 24+ hours. *read: four times the daily recommended dose of 24 hour antihistamines, as my allergist told me to do **was not able to narrow down what, exactly, it is, but it was seasonally limited and limited to a certain geographic area so like I think it was a plant? Forgot to mention: I had very little overlap between the "all hives all the time" era of my allergies and the "severe migraines leading to severe dehydration" era of my allergies. Like, very occasionally my hives reaction would get bad enough I'd get the migraine and nausea as well, but very, very rarely. They aren't mutually exclusive they just seem to be for me?

[rekino2114]

Yello! This is a revamped version of the students meeting male reader stronger than Fem Gojo.

It's the goodwill event arc and the teachers are all bickering (it started from Fem Gojo teasing utahime). Then a voice interrupts them all.

"Can you all act more professional.... You're embarrassing yourselves in front of the kids...."

The teachers immediately shut up, recognising the voice and look towards the source of it. The students did the same as their teachers.

They all saw a man who looks sleep deprived with messy shoulder length hair and wearing an oversized black tracksuit, hiding his muscular physique.

You walked over to them with a slight hunch on your back.

"a-ah... Y/N... I didn't expect to see you...." Utahime says nervously.

Now the students are wondering, why is that man able to set all the teachers on edge.

"My love! You actually came!" Fem Gojo latches onto male reader, peppering his face with kisses.

"WHATTT! THATS YOU'RE BOYFRIEND!!!" Fem gojo's students shout.

(you could write about the students reaction or what not :) )

Fem. Gojo introducing you to her students

(Fem gojo x male reader stronger than her part 2)

A/n: Thanks for the request. tbh i had a lot of fun writing this. This might be one of my favorite AUs to write for. Also I don't know if I mentioned this before but for all of the fem. Gojo posts I'll do, his name will be changed to satori gojo

Part 1 is here

"Geez utahime you can't even handle a bit of teasing, it's not my fault you're so weak"

"You call this straight-up bullying teasing?"

"What about it? Are you crying?"

"...Not again"

"How long has this been going on for?"

"I dunno an hour I think?"

The students continued to whisper to each other as gojo threw insults at the Kyoto school teacher, as much as they hated this no one disrupted the situation in hope of not becoming the next target of gojo's teasing.

"Can you all act more professional, you're embarrassing yourself in front of the kids"

Everyone turned towards the tired sounding voice and saw a man with bags under his eyes and messy hair. At his sight the adults in the room stayed silent in respect and a bit of fear until utahime broke the silence

"I-i didn't expect to see you here y/n"

"Who is this guy? he must be important"

"No idea, he looks like he hasn't slept in weeks"

"Can you two shut up"

The first years hushed convention was interrupted by their teacher running up to you and wrapping her arms around you

"My love, you actually came!"

"I was taking a nap downstairs. You woke me up"

"Oh I'm so sorry darling, you know how utahime gets"

"Wait a minute did gojo-sensei just call him.."

"My love? Does that mean...."

"THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?!!!"

"Oh, that's right, you haven't met him yet. I introduce to you all: the strongest sorcerer of this era a.k.a. my super-awesome boyfriend:y/n l/n"

".......hi...."

"This guy is the strongest?"

"Of course, didn't I tell you? The only person who could be stronger than me is my boyfriend"

"No offense but....you look like dirt, when's the last time you slept?"

"Don't listen to her babe, she's just jealous I got a boyfriend before her, you're as handsome as always"

"I'M NOT JEALOUS"

"it's nice to meet you, l/n-sensei. I'm yuji itadori"

"Itadori? Oh, you're sukuna's vessel, aren't you? Satori told me about you"

"Yep, are you really stronger than gojo? I've seen what she can do and it seems hard that someone could top that"

"Yeah, I am. Don't get me wrong, satori is extremely powerful. Her infinity and six eyes are nothing to take lightly...... but I'm stronger"

"Really?"

"I can confirm everything my love says, you know that weed I hollow purple'd yesterday?"

"The one me and todo fought?"

"Yep, well if y/n was there.....that curse would be history by now"

"Wow....he must be really strong"

"A curse you fought survived a hollow purple? That's not something you hear every day"

"It wasn't really a fight, plus the only reason it survived is because it barely dodged the hit. Don't worry if I see it again it won't end well for that asparagus"

"I hope to see it then, you know how much I love seeing you fight"

"Awww, the same goes for me, baby. I love seeing you absolutely destroy those curses"

You and the blindfolded woman kissed each other passionately as everyone else in the room slightly cringed at how lovey-dovey you were being

"Can you two get a room?"

You turned towards the voice just to see a familiar black haired boy that stayed mostly silent this whole time

"Oh. Hi megumi"

"Wait a minute, megumi, you know him?

"Yeah, him and gojo kinda raised me since I was little"

"......WHAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"Megumi's right, he's like our own son"

"Don't push it"

"YOU WERE RAISED BY THE 2 STRONGEST SORCERERS AND YOU NEVER TOLD US?"

"YEAH, YOU'RE WAY TOO SECRETIVE FUSHIGURO, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU HIDING?"

You looked at the first years arguing and smiled slightly, remembering the days when you and satori were students too, but you got pulled out of your thoughts by your girlfriend wrapping an arm around your shoulder

"Sooooo I was thinking we should do a baseball match for this year's exchange event"

"Don't we usually do individual fights?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to change it up. Would you be so kind as to vote with me?"

"Yeah, sure, baseball sounds fun"

"Thank you handsome~. How about we go for dessert as thanks? There's this new bakery that opened up. Their cheesecake is to die for"

"That sounds amazing satori, I love you"

"Love you too so so much"

You two kissed again, after which the infinity user held your hand and started to walk away

"Wait, gojo, we need to discuss more things before you-

"Whaaaaaaaaaat? I can't hear you yaga,me and y/n are going out. Text me later if it's super important k?"

As you two walked out of the building, the others in the room sighed heavily

"How does he put up with her?"

"No idea"

[artsymeeshee]

It isn't much of an ask, as more of a thank you.

Your heavier toned sea grunk comic with Stan discussing his thoughts of suicide has always held a place in my heart.

I started into the fandom around January 2022, and was pretty introverted getting into it. At that time, I was around 13 years into my undiagnosed depression, and failed one attempt to end it in that span. My introverted nature and being so warped kept me from wanting to engage with others from the fandom. I figured I was an outsider with more issues than what could be handled, and no one would be there for me(and I wouldn't blame them).

I didn't think that around July 2022, people would begin reaching out to me, understanding me, and accepting me. I found kindred spirits and my family. And in September, my best friend found me. She is the Ford to my Stan. She has stuck by me and loved me when I have been unlovable and it wasn't required. And we bonded over our favorite guys of course. She got me into Tumblr, and this was one of the first comics that I saw, and it made me bawl. It felt like talking to my best friend face to face, even 500 miles apart.

Then, shifting into December 17, 2023, I tried again to go, standing in the freezing night on the edge of the local bridge, seeing the dark, and waiting to embrace it. And everything that I loved flooded me in that darkness: My best friend, all my friends I had made, my family, and this comic. Stan felt that way, but he held on, because he got Ford back. It was part of why I stepped down, and just sat for awhile, and took the time to finally get help. Those feelings are now distant and rare when I reached out for proper help.

Even now, I'm struggling, but not wanting to be in that place again. Just feeling like I'm inadequate as a spouse, but we are both working through it. It has been difficult the last few weeks, and this comic emerges again today, and flooded me all over again with the reminder that Stan chose to live, even if it was hell for a long time, and I can do it too.

So, if you haven't fallen asleep on me yet, I just wanted to thank you for making this comic. And for all of them. It resonates with me deeply, and frequently more than you'll ever know, and at points, has kept me here.

Thank you 👉👈

🥺🥺 Oh wow. I don't know what to really say but thank you for opening up and telling your story. I know it can be really hard to open up like that. It makes me happy to hear that things have gotten a lot better, even if it's not 100%.

That comic was a spur of the moment kind of thing because I was originally going to make just a vent post of myself but then something about wanting to get out particular thoughts I've had through Stan seemed like a better approach. Perhaps this could come as a bit of surprise to some but as much art of Ford I've done, Stan is actually the favorite of the two.

I kind of thought that comic was going to be my last at the time. My mind spiraled pretty bad during that time last year and figured that it wasn't worth trying to say how I've been and just leave because I genuinely believed I was better off no longer being part of the Fandom. I still think I do on some days but seeing messages like these or even small encouraging ones is enough to think I am still worthy enough to stay.

❤️

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Perfect 10 Liners time! Ok, Yotha, you got some crow to eat, be good to our boy.

Oh, Yotha's meter is full on broken.

Which does fit with how he is with Gun, he feels a pull, but doesn't know how to really handle it. And his kisses up to this point have felt very "do behavior A to get response B" rather than any actual desire.

Obligatory beach splashing time! Pretty sure it's law by now.

Ha, of course Fai has been leaving the door unlocked on purpose. That's a good man, because if I had people snuggling in the bed next to me every night, I would be hella annoyed.

I love that we are getting to see more Fai and Wine interactions ahead of their romance!

Part of why I didn't immediately warm to Faifa was the intensity of how he came after Wine, but now I want to go back and rewatch with the recontextualization of the new scenes. It's getting sweeter by the second.

Lol, I would so be Wine here, just like "aaaah, cute older guy is talking to me, brain no longer functioning".

Oh, they are sparking so beautifully!

I love that we get Tay just randomly popping in on occasion to be the wise sage of the group.

I'm assuming his move to Nan is going to be relevant to the FaiWine story. New location for frolics?

My theory about Arm getting drunk in every episode for the entertainment of the writers is holding up.

Oh, that is so pretty.

Now I want to be at the beach.

Oh good, we're talking about the kiss.

All that and Yotha still didn't say, "I kissed him to confirm I don't feel anything anymore"? Dude, that's the most essential piece.

Hmm, this doesn't feel super romantic to me? Maybe because I've seen what waiting around for someone can be like in real life, and most of the time it sucks.

Like I get that Gun is a very sweet, loving, kind man, but I need him to be more selfish.

Yes, perfect!

Hold those boundaries baby. He doesn't get everything when he wants you to wait.

Hmm, also with the bracelet - it just feels like Yotha wants them to be boyfriends without calling it boyfriends.

Again, not mad about any of this stuff, it all fits their characters, but it just doesn't feel romantic to me.

Ha, love the friend interactions, as always.

Wow, Yotha really be walking through the halls in those pajamas, that is an impressive level of dedication.

Gah, I just - of course Gun would be sad! I feel like there's still a lack of real honest communication here.

Fai is a whole mood, I am 100% on your side bro.

Aww, Fai getting all the birthday love is cute. And deserved!

Oh for crying out loud, Yotha, you are so in love!

Seriously, all the brothers need some therapy. Please, someone just mention the word.

Lol, Gun is not fooling his mother in the least.

Yotha doesn't want to do what Wa did, but he's still setting Gun up for hurt all the same. Not being willing to call him your boyfriend or call it love doesn't change the reality, and it would hurt just as much for things to end.

Goddamit Yotha! I was giving you grace last week, but you are straight up ticking me off now.

I know we just did this plotline with ArcArm, but I need some hottie to come flirt with Gun. Boy needs to feel desired.

This is such a sweet friend group.

I love when we get to see men taking care of one another.

Oh Fai. Always sacrificing himself.

Gun deserves so much better than this.

I mean, yes, Yotha is not wrong to say he needs time, but the hot and cold is what's super hurtful. One minute he's playing boyfriends, then he can't even smile at Gun. He's so hung up on some projection of what love is supposed to be, rather than paying attention to all the ways he genuinely does love Gun.

Yotha, you are making me want this to happen for Gun.

It's not that I don't feel for Yotha, or his struggles. I think I've just seen too many real life friends being hurt by a partner who knows they have issues, but refuses to get help or work through them in order to stop causing their partner pain. And it's really shitty.

Yes, Gun! He can take his time, but you also get to set boundaries.

Waaah, stop making my AouBoom smokers.

God I love my boys.

They are very clearly "we may be side characters in this show, but we're still gonna prove why we're the number one in physical intimacy at GMMTV".

Goddamn, Aou, how much have you been working out?!

Lifting someone your own size is freaking hard!

Ok, can our BL boys just stop ever crossing the street?

They are a very pretty couple.

Hmm, this was an interesting one. I think Yotha is just bumping up against reality a little too much for me here, which is not the fault of the show.

But at least it looks like next week Yotha may finally get his shit together!

[bengiyo]

The Trainee Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Ryan applied to be an intern at a production company near his house to complete his work requirements for his degree. Ryan is a bit lost and unmotivated at this time, and so didn't even know what a production company does, or that he was interviewing to be an assistant director. He was assigned to Jane, who is clearly doing a huge amount of work at this company with no time to train interns, and had a pretty terrible first day when he messed up giving the other interns the full brief and they were late to deliver their work. He's considering quitting and going back to his family's print shop.

Ryan may feel useless, but he's tracking details in the family business.

EP 2: Important Role

Damn, I wanted Pie to give Ryan the crash course he needed.

Interesting that Jane seems to be the shot caller on organizing the production's time. They seem pretty screwed by this change order. Blaming Jane won't change the issues caused by the client.

Hey, a printing job. Ryan can do that.

Damn, Pie threw Ryan under the bus. He was already trying to solve the printer problem.

Jane was harsh, but I get being frustrated at having another problem dumped on him when they're trying to solve a major crunch.

Oh ho. A mention of the censorship board.

Damn, I feel for Jane. I get calls like this all the time for stuff that others could solve.

Why is Ryan using voices to relay info? Lol

I like Ryan volunteering to help by thinking about the uncle, but I'm terrified about how he'll screw this up somehow. He's not assertive enough yet to handle any kind of negotiation.

Aw, the motorcycle uncle would have probably been a decent dude to work with.

Oh no.....Ryan is getting scammed...

This is so frustrating because the guy passed.

Why is Pie bickering with this man when he's clearly handling his job.

Well well well. Jane doesn't steal credit.

HP jump scare.

Ryan is killing me with the voices, but I am enjoying this role for Sea.

Look at Ryan recognizing that Jane isn't a control freak perfectionist.

The scammer blocked Ryan. Welp.

Okay. I like Ryan going to the casting team first to check if there was a backup.

Damn, I like Jane a lot. He was so quick to correct Ryan about treating getting scammed as a major fuck up on his part, and made it clear Ryan should speak up when he needs guidance and clear instructions about never making payment decisions on his own.

Would you look at that. The technician Ryan called was able to be an extra.

Jane gave pretty solid praise here. Ryan didn't solve huge problems on his own, but he did help. That's often enough.

Wow, a present for me: Gun's midriff.

Looking forward to the mentor-mentee era.

Man, this show is good. I really like the characters. Everyone makes sense for where they are, and there's a lot of room for growth here. I've been in high stress work environments like this, so I feel for Jane. Now that he knows where Ryan is, we have a good starting line for them.

[hannahssimblr]

“Evan, can I sit?”

He glances up at me and shrugs, patting the ground next to him so I slump down heavily on it and take a healthy gulp from my bottle. 

“You good, man?”

“Yeah, amazing.”

“I, uh, I see you were chatting to Leah, there? You know each other?”

“Nah.”

“Really? Well... she’s a weirdo anyway, you’re better off getting away from her, like, I just sell her weed and stuff, I don’t really like when she hangs around too long.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” 

“Was she being weird with you?” 

“Nope.” 

We’re silent as we watch the flames. I begin to wonder what time it is, and whether I've stayed long enough now for it to be acceptable to go home. As I watch all of the other friends around the fire have fun together I’m struck by how much of an outsider I really am. Sure, Rob and Katie are nice, but will any of that niceness extend into normal life with the eyes of everyone else at school upon us? Surely they will go back to the steps at the back of the school while I go back to the rugby changing rooms, or the library, as it may be and things will resume as they are, as they've always been and always will be. Realistically, would they ever be seen with me? Would I ever be seen with them? There's this weird, empty feeling in me, a feeling that just compounds day after day, month after month, year after year, and it's like I don’t belong anywhere or to anyone. I'm just floating in the in-between, and who even am I? What does it mean to even-

“Hey,” Evan interrupts my spiralling inner dialogue, “I meant to say to you that it’s cool that you came along, you know, even when Jen and Michelle didn’t.”

This takes me by surprise, “You think?”

“Yeah, I mean, I suppose I kind of thought you were just hanging out with us sometimes because of them, and that you didn’t really want to be there, but,” a shrug, “I suppose that isn’t true.”

“No, I like hanging out with you.”

“And it’s not just because you’ve been ostracised by your other friends?”

I hesitate for a beat, “No.”

Evan laughs, “Wow, I’m so convinced!”

“No, come on,” I rock to the side and nudge his shoulder with mine, “Like, yeah, sometimes it’s nice to have Jen here, but I’m fine, I can handle myself around the emos… and as for Michelle, well, she hates me, so it’s actually kinda comfier when she’s not here, and- oh,” I realise immediately what I’ve said, “um, well I don’t really mean that, it-”

“No, it’s okay,” Evan says, “I know that you two aren’t exactly best friends or anything.”

“Ah, so she’s talked to you about me.” 

“Nah, you’ve honestly never come up in conversation.”

“Somehow that’s worse.”

He snickers. 

“How are, um,” I pick at the beer label with my thumb, “How are things going with you guys? Like, the last time we talked you were feeling kinda…”

A sigh, “Oh, yeah, it’s the same. Like, she’s so nice but sometimes I don’t feel like I get enough from her.”

“Uh huh.”

“I kind of get a bit annoyed about it sometimes, like, how are we supposed to be together properly if I hardly see her? Like, man, she’s allowed to come to my house like, once a week. In the afternoon. And that’s the only time we can… uh, hook up or whatever. It’s so annoying.”

“Just from an outsider's perspective, you know, you seem pretty happy.”

“Yeah. She’s definitely into me,” He musses up and fixes his fringe, “I dunno. It’s fine, just sometimes I wonder about shit. You know what I mean, right?”

“I’m probably not the best person to ask, seeing none of my relationships have worked out so far, and I’m also fairly drunk, so…”

“But you know what it’s like to be with someone who wouldn’t give you the things you needed, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“So you do get it.”

“Mm, I suppose,” as our conversation tapers off I let my mind drift into thoughts about love and loneliness and the hollow disappointment of all of my relationships. These are bitter, useless, self destructive thoughts as usual, made even worse by the fact that I’m not exactly capable of rational thought while inebriated. Is drinking bad for me? Am I a miserable drunk? I have to physically shake myself out of my own head before I start talking myself into a hole again.

I turn to Evan to start saying something else about, I don’t know, whether he’s ever tried pranking someone by turning their school bag inside out and putting the books back into it or something stupid like that, but I see he’s distracted by something else across the bonfire. 

It’s that girl with the pink hair. She’s leaning over a bag to rummage for more beer, and her short skirt rides up when she’s bent over like that so that her underwear is visible through the sheer material of her tights. I frown at the dirty little smirk on his face, the way hungry eyes follow her movements, and the look between them as she glances over her shoulder and sees him watching her. I nudge my knee against his to interrupt whatever is going on.

“Wow, nice legs, huh?” 

He looks at me, surprised, but lets out a rough laugh, “Yeah, for sure.”

“Is she into you or am I just seeing things?”

“Nah, I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, c’mon, no, I’m just messing with you, she just looked like… I dunno.”

“Like what?”

I shift awkwardly, “You know what, don’t mind me, I’ve had too much to drink, I thought I detected flirting, or whatever, I guess I was wrong.”

The girl kneels onto the ground and starts asking around for the bottle opener, and Evan doesn’t take his eyes away from her. “She’s pretty though, isn’t she?”

“Hm?”

“Carlie. That’s her name. She’s pretty, do you think?”

“She’s single?”

“Yep.”

“So are you trying to set me up with her or are you just pointing that out?”

“I’m not trying to set you up.” Evan seems agitated by this idea that I might try to date pretty Carlie, who, by the way, treats me like I am contagious. As though it’s any of his business what she does, as if he should even care. Something sour settles in my gut, but I can’t tell whether it’s that I'm weirded out by this conversation or if the alcohol is nauseating me. 

“Right, well, she’s not my type,” I watch his face carefully, “Is she yours?”

“She’s pretty hot.”

Maybe he's looking for my approval or my agreement, which I don’t give him on purpose. To see where it leads me I respond with a benign, “Oh, you think?”

“Uh huh,” They catch eyes again and she smiles coyly and quickly looks away to resume her conversation. That’s flirtation. She’s flirting with him, and him back, right in front of my face. 

“You know, a lot of people would consider your girlfriend to be pretty hot too.” It’s true, I’ve heard those rugby boys saying it before, the only time they ever had anything remotely complimentary to say about any of the emos was to point out the things they fancied about Michelle and what they might like to do to her if she A. wasn’t emo, or B. nobody knew, so that they wouldn’t have to suffer the social consequences. I feel disgusted again at this memory. I know where I was, sitting on the bench lacing up my boots and saying nothing while they spoke casual filth about a girl I know. 

It’s a similar feeling to the one I have now at this bonfire with Evan, and maybe this is how he is when he’s drunk, maybe he just gets a bit… leery, but when he stares across the fire at someone who isn’t his girlfriend I swear I am looking at Willy FitzHerbert. 

He waves my comment away, “Yeah but at least Carlie is interested in sex.”

“How do you know that?”

He leans closer, “Obviously because I’ve done it with her.”

“Yeah?” I say, “When?”

He smirks and says nothing.

I push him again. “A few years ago?”

He lowers his voice and looks at me with eyes that glitter with salacious excitement. I don’t think I’ve ever once seen another boy look so pleased with himself as he says: “Try a month ago.”

It takes all my self control not to react. I just pause for a second as a shock of revulsion rips through my body, I feel it from my feet to the top of my head, and then, when I decide to speak, my voice is strange to my own ears, “While you were with Michelle.”

A shrug, “It just happened on a night out when she wasn’t there. I dunno.”

“She doesn’t know?”

“Course not. She’d break up with me.”

“And... you don’t want that.”

“No, because we’re in love. This stuff with Carlie, it was just… you get what I mean. It’s not like that with her.”

I sigh, “Uh, yep.”

So it appears it is the same for Evan as it is for all the others. Michelle is the virgin, Carlie is the slut and he wants it all at the same time. A girl worthy of love, and a girl interested in sex, two things that cannot converge. There is no girl that can be both.

“It felt good to let loose with someone who knew what they were doing, and like, not have to think so hard about making the other person all safe and comfortable and, blah,” he rolls his eyes, “Carlie is cool.”

“Right, yeah, she seems it.”

“You get me, right? Guys like us, you know, we need to be able to just relax sometimes, not think so hard…”

“Yeah, for sure… Guys like us, huh?”

“Hell yeah!” He clinks his beer bottle against mine, “I knew you’d get it, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should say something but I feel good now that you understand what I meant.”

I try to laugh but it sounds weird and strangled, so I bring the bottle to my lips in the hope that drinking will disguise my discomfort, or at the very least numb it a bit. I finish the last two thirds of it and toss it somewhere amongst the miscellaneous rubbish, remnants of a hundred other miserable bonfire nights on Dollymount strand.  

Then, after a minute or two Evan nudges me again. It’s hard to look at him but I force myself to because it is what I would do if this situation was normal, “You’re not going to say anything, right? Like, to Michelle or Jen? Like I know you probably won’t...” A laugh as he adjusts his fringe, “That'd be insane, I know, but I wanted to make sure.”

“Me? Nah,” I say, “Why would you even have to ask? Don’t worry about it,” I scratch the back of my head, “your, uh, your secret is safe with me.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[tloujm]

Part XXXIX: A Requiem or a Waking Dream

Author's Notes: Hello again, sorry for the long wait. My birthday was last week and I went on a trip to Ireland for it. Lovely place and lovely time of year to go. If I was a better person, I would have made the time to edit this so it come be posted before I left and you guys still reading this could've had something at the beginning of the month. Alas, please accept my apologies and Have a very Happy Thanksgiving! I am very thankful for you all who read anything I've put out there whether your just a lurker or you've liked, reblogged, commented, or sent me asks!

Summary: You and Joel have a talk about parenthood. Your and Theresa's friendship take a turn as you learn some new things about her.

Genre: Angsty

Ship: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Only a moment after walking into the house, Joel caught your attention. Silently, he waved you into the kitchen. You instinctively looked around, trying to find a reason for the odd look on his face. Your eyes landing on Ellie drawing on the living room floor was your only inkling as to why Joel wanted a secret meeting.

Joel beckoned you further into the kitchen, standing near the fridge. “You know she snuck out last night?” Your brows furrowed. “What? How do you know? Why would she do that? Where did she even go?” “I don’t know where she went. I was this close to following her, but I didn’t want to…” He trailed off, looking for the right words. “You didn’t want to be overbearing.” He glared at you. He didn’t like being called that, but knew you were right. “I know I’ve been protective of Sarah and you. But the difference between you two is that she was a kid and kids need guidance. I’m not gonna apologize about that.” He shook his head, looking in her direction.  “I’m not asking you to. But how do you know for sure that she did? She left a note?” He turned back to you. “No. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I was up when I heard some noises coming from the backyard. I was about to go ‘round back to look around, make sure Ellie was alright, when I heard another person’s voice coming from her room. I stayed by the back door, peekin’ out the window, for a bit since it didn’t sound like she was in danger. I caught her and another girl leaving not too long after.”  “What was that about?” “I don’t know.” He scratched his beard. “I stayed up and kept an eye on the garage to make sure she got home alright. If she hadn’t come back by the time the sun started to peak, I woulda went out to go find her.” He paused to hear your response but you were still thinking. “I’d call waiting that long an act of restraint.” His eyes locked onto you until you returned the gaze. “She doesn’t know that I know. I wanted to tell you first.” “Wow, I never thought I’d have to deal with teen antics so soon; She’s just a preteen. I’ve barely experienced motherhood in general.” Your hand passed over your belly. “You began experiencing it as soon as she showed up at our gates.” He said softly. “How do you think we should handle this?” 

Joel already knew how he would have handled it if he was taking care of Ellie alone; if it was Sarah before the outbreak. Sarah knew better than to try that with him, though he feared that she still would one day try because of how absent his demanding job made him as a single parent. Despite parenthood being new to you altogether, Joel realized that it was a new experience for him as well in a sense. Even though Sarah was only slightly older than Ellie is now, the experience of raising a teen was stolen from him. Also, he’d never really co-parented before. Sarah’s mom became uninvolved so quickly that it had almost always been him making the final decisions surrounding every part of his daughter’s life. Even with the help of his family, he had no choice but to let full parent mode become second nature and he mentally prepared for that to last the rest of his life. 

It felt weird watching Ellie leave the house in the middle of the night with a stranger and not immediately do anything about it. Instead of reacting automatically, he reminded himself that, for the first time in his life, parenthood was a responsibility that he now shared equally with someone else. He couldn’t bring himself to wake you in the moment since he knew you often tossed and turned, struggling to find a good position to sleep with your belly. He also knew you’d get upset with him if he acted rashly. Joel just settled on keeping watch like he was up in the gate tower until there was a good time to talk to you. 

Your mind raced with scenarios, looking for the best way ahead. You were embarrassed at how long you took, standing there silently in front of a seasoned parent. “Baby, you look tired. Why don’t we leave it until tomorrow? She’s safe at home now. That’s what matters. We technically haven’t set ground rules for her here, so I don’t think it’d be fair to punish her. Just a firm warning with clear communication on our expectations. If she has concerns about living here with us, I want her to feel comfortable enough to tell us, so she wouldn’t feel the need to sneak out again. What do you think?” Your doe eyes looked up at Joel. Your genuine effort and sweet voice made him melt, but before he could answer, you kept going. “Maybe we’ll talk to her during dinner? I’ll tell Theresa that I need to be back earlier. You know what? I don’t know if I like that. I don’t want her to start thinking that family dinners have negative connotations if we only get together for one when she’s in trouble. Maybe we can talk to her right before dinner and then all can be resolved by the time the food is ready and we can all have a nice meal with a nice dessert. Maybe.” You rambled.  He leaned down to kiss your forehead. “Tomorrow sounds like a good plan.” You felt him breathe out a sigh on your skin.  “What were you doing up anyway?” “I told you, I couldn’t sleep.” “Yeah, but why?” Joel shrugged while rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know...the house could get broken into, the settlement can get attacked, you can go into labor at any moment…But it was a good thing I was up anyway.” “Aww, your daddy senses were tingling.” You said jokingly. “Excuse me, Darlin’, my what?” His eyebrows shot up. You could’ve sworn you even saw a little blush.  “Like how Spiderman has his Spidey senses that alerts him to danger.” Joel Always-horny-for-you Miller took it as a sign to flirt. “How about you meet me upstairs and…” He leaned forward and cocked a brow. “I can show you how much you make my daddy senses tingle.” “Eww.” The two of you turned to see Ellie at the kitchen opening. “All I wanted was a snack, not the intro to a poorly scripted porno.” She mumbled clearly under her breath. Either Joel didn’t hear or was too mortified to respond. You, however, had to laugh a bit. The two stood frozen in place and watched as she moved around the kitchen for a snack. It wasn’t until she went back into the living room did you pull Joel down to reach his ear. “I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t think—.” “I agree, not my best work.” He whispered back.  “But I still picked up what you were putting down.” You wiggled your eyebrows in a comically romantic way. “So you still wanna…” His eyes darted between you and the stairs. “If you promise to rub my back first.” “I’ll get the tallow butter.” He began to jog out the kitchen when he turned back and said in a low tone. “But how does she know about porn, (Y/N)? Ellie,” He turned to the kid kicking her feet as she ate. “What do you know ‘bout—” “Don’t worry about it.” You rushed over to shut him up. He turned back to look at you as if he hadn’t only known her for a fraction of her life, looking like he failed at shielding her youth from corruption. “Huh?” She spoke up. “It’s ok, Ellie, go back and draw. It’s not important.” You succeeded in not laughing but still couldn’t hide the smile on your face. “We’ll be upstairs if you need us.” “Do I need to wear my headphones?” Ellie piped up with a mischievous smile. 

*********************

“Have a seat.” Theresa said as they entered her home. 

Earlier the next day, she met you at your house and the two of you set off on another one of your walks. She pushed the stroller all the way into Saoirse’s room. You mentally noted how the baby slept through the entire walk and seriously began to consider talking to Joel about the Swedish nap thing. 

“It’s so cold isn’t it? I’ll put the kettle on for some tea then maybe start a little fire. How does that sound?” She pushed the stroller all the way into the nursery before coming right back out. “Let me help you.” You began to hoist yourself up. “I can get the tea while you get her.”  “No, no. You’ve had enough physical activity so far. I know walking helps induce labor but I remember what it was like being that far along, feeling like a grapefruit was just always wedged between my hips.” She dipped into the kitchen, but continued to talk at a decent volume. “This will only take a moment and besides, as a mother, you come to really appreciate when your baby finally falls asleep. Sometimes I don’t even risk waking her up and just let her sleep in the stroller.”  “That makes sense.”  Theresa came back in with a plate of crackers and an open tin of sardines. “I know this doesn’t hold a flame to the dinner you cooked, but I figured if you were peckish and wanted a snack…” “I appreciate it.” You never shied away from seafood but certain fish you absolutely didn’t like. Before you were pregnant, sardines were one of them, but now, it is one of your cravings. A low whistling traveled from the kitchen. “Oh! Let me go shut that thing off before it wakes her.”

In no time, Theresa came back in with two hot cups of tea. She reminded you of your quintessential 1950s housewife, juggling a baby while accommodating guests all by herself. She seemed to do it all with such ease, an ease you aspired to get the hang of soon now that you have a growing family of your own. As you looked at her, you figured all she needed was a red lip, pumps and an A-line dress and then she’d fit perfectly into one of those technicolor sitcoms. 

Just like a perfect housewife, she flitted away to attend to her daughter next. And just like a greedy house guest, you dug into the food and drink, not even waiting for your host to come back. You nursed the tea until it was cool enough to down. Your cup was almost empty by the time you began to wonder what was keeping her. It couldn’t have been Saoirse, you thought, as you didn’t hear any cries telling you that she was now awake. Instead, the house was completely silent. It almost felt like you entered the Twilight Zone as the air felt so still. You stopped just shy of calling out for Theresa and instead opted to meet her in the nursery to see if she needed help with anything. 

Embarrassingly, it took you quite a few tries to hoist yourself off the couch. You hadn’t realized it until you began to move, but the couch felt extra deep than before. It was as if gravity was your worst enemy at that moment. When you finally made it onto your feet, a wave of dizziness washed over you. It almost knocked you back down onto the couch, but you were determined to not struggle and focused on grounding yourself for another couple moments. It'd been about ten minutes since Theresa left you alone. You not only needed to see if she was ok, but now you debated asking her to go to the stable and call the infirmary for Dr. Carson. After a few steps, the dizziness began to settle so you chalked it up to overexerting yourself on the couch. 

Theresa was silently standing in front of a dresser with a series of vials splayed across the top. From where you stood at the doorway, she seemed to be in a trance. She hadn’t moved an inch, none-the-less blink. Your eyes wandered and took in the rest of your surroundings. It didn’t seem like a nursery, but a regular room with a pristinely made bed. Not being able to even see the stroller, you pushed the door all the way open to get a better view. The hinges creaked and like a magician snapping their fingers, the sound cut through the silence and ripped Theresa away from her deep thoughts and back into the room. Her head whipped in your direction.

“Oh, I thought this was Saoirse’s room.” Your voice came out calm but your head was racked with questions. Your brain was starting to get so fuzzy that you couldn’t make sense of what you were seeing. “Oh, (Y/N).” Theresa blankly stared at you. “Oh no…(Y/N).  Your eyes ripped away from the rope and bucket of cleaning supplies on the floor to meet your friend’s. “I came to check if you were ok. What’s wrong?” “You were meant to wait for me. I told you to have a seat. I told you that I didn’t need help.” Theresa tried to say with a smile on her face but the words came through gritted teeth.   “I know, you told me to rest but—” You began. “You weren’t meant to come in here.” She cut you off. You didn’t know how to respond, you were so confused. You just stood there watching her watch you. Her head tilted as she studied your eyes. You hadn’t even realized they were drooping until her gaze made you self conscious. “You know what Gavin used to say to me? ‘How do you always stay so cool, calm and collected?’. Gavin is the leader of my old settlement. What a compliment that was from someone like him. That was when I respected him. That was before…well that part is beside the point. The point now is that things are not yet ruined. I mean I don’t enjoy being thrown off my path, but it's ok. We’re ok, (y/n).  Here,” She walked closer to you. “Why don’t you have a seat with me?”  “Why am I…” You shook your head with furrowed brows, suddenly becoming conscious of how your legs felt like jelly instead of flesh and bone. “That’s ok. You won’t feel any worse than this.” “Did…did you drug me?” “I helped you. You were tired of being pregnant right? I’m ready for the baby to come, aren’t you?”

Your mind was racing a mile a minute, so much so that you didn’t know what to say next. You didn’t protest as Theresa guided you to sit on the edge of the bed. You were afraid of falling forward and landing on your belly but you were also now afraid of her.

*******************

You were jolted awake by a powerful cramp. A long groan escaped your lips. Your eyelids were so heavy that you hadn’t noticed Theresa hovering over you at the side of the bed. You hadn’t noticed that she was wearing an apron and gloves. Hadn’t noticed how your arms and legs were tied to the bed posts. Nothing came clear at first. Just the intense contractions of your uterus. 

Even when you felt two fingers jam their way inside you aggressively searching for God knows what, you assumed that you were in the middle of a fever dream. You finally found the strength to tilt your head down and found Theresa sitting by the foot of the bed. She smiled up at you as she noticed you become a bit more lucid. 

“Welcome back.” Just as swiftly as she entered her fingers, she removed them. “You’re almost ready. Don’t worry, I’ll be here the whole time. I have every intention of catching the baby though this isn’t the route I wanted to go. Cutting you open would have been quicker as time is of the essence here,” She began, talking more to herself than to you. “But, frankly, I don’t trust myself. In hindsight, I would have focused a little bit less on acquiring drugs and a little more on honing my surgical skills.” She shook her head while moving some things around. “I’ve witnessed the horrible but ultimately life saving effects of a C-section. If done improperly, the baby could be left with scars or worse and I could never risk my baby like that. A mother should know her own limitations or else she can not properly care for the child. No, no. Don’t do that. Stay awake for me, (y/n).” Theresa took off the gloves and moved to the dresser with vials and syringes. “Yeah…I gave you the right dose.” She whispered to herself before turning to you. “Your body will push without you but it will be exponentially more slow and therefore that much more painful for the both of us, so I need you to stay awake now ok?”

Theresa moved to the head of the bed to sit you up and add pillows behind your back. Further, she untied the ropes by your ankles and like a doll moved your legs around as you could barely feel them. 

You were surprised as to how quickly the baby was coming. As painful as it was, you didn’t want the woman you thought as your best friend to handle your baby. It was even more painful to fight the contractions but still you tried, holding out hope that someone would miraculously barge into the room and save you.  

With dread, you had to give in to your body; it was a fight you couldn’t win. It felt like death was lingering over you as you continued to try and hold the crowning baby in. You were determined to not let it take either one of you. If it weren’t for the ring of fire, you were convinced the cocktail of drugs would have made you pass out for good. 

You couldn’t help but hold your breath with every push. Your heart pounded loud and erratic. Just when it felt like your chest was about to explode, you felt a great sense of relief. For a moment, you thought that pop was in fact your heart and that you’d died but enough pain continued in the background to remind you that you were still there in Theresa’s house. From what little words you could hear over your thumping heart, she announced the head was out. Encouragingly, she said that the delivery was almost over. 

In your dazed state, you were unable to keep track of time and had no idea how much longer it took to birth the rest of your child but knew it was over when you felt an even greater sense of relief. The feeling was so intense and, because of the drugs, absolutely euphoric. It felt like a blanket was covering your entire body in warmth and darkness. It was like being held tightly, tucked under the breast of your own mother after having a good cry. How could you not welcome such an embrace? It was hard to leave even if you wanted to.

[faterpresources]

Sᴘɪᴅᴇʀ-Mᴀɴ : Aᴄʀᴏss ᴛʜᴇ Sᴘɪᴅᴇʀ-Vᴇʀsᴇ (2023) - Pᴀʀᴛ 1

A collection of random lines compiled from the Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) Feel free to change the pronouns in order to better suit the parts involved.

❝ Is the song over? ❞

❝ Will you adopt me? ❞

❝ I don't feel grown up. ❞

❝ God, I need a raise. ❞

❝ You hit me with a bagel! ❞

❝ I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food! ❞

❝ Do you speak Italian? ❞

❝ I am basically an adult! ❞

❝ You don't even have a driver's license! ❞

❝ We saved the multiverse! ❞

❝ I'm telling ya, I can feel it. ❞

❝ Okay. Knock yourself out. ❞

❝ I'm going to rob your face! ❞

❝ Just breathe. We got you. ❞

❝ Great. Is this your goose? ❞

❝ I don't know how to fix this. ❞

❝ I'm from another dimension. ❞

❝ Everything's gonna be okay. ❞

❝ You leave... everybody leaves. ❞

❝ I've leveled up my whole thing! ❞

❝ I can hear you being quiet, ___. ❞

❝ Oh, wow. Is this curry powder? ❞

❝ This should be simple enough. ❞

❝ I just saved a bunch of people! ❞

❝ For you, it's just a Tuesday night. ❞

❝ I'm not your guy/girl in the chair. ❞

❝ I think they look great, I dunno. ❞

❝ Sir, please! Just let me rob you! ❞

❝ This job is so dumb sometimes! ❞

❝ Okay, let's do this one last time. ❞

❝ Is this... that... dangerous mask? ❞

❝ Did you order the cake for tonight? ❞

❝ We're talking about it, aren't we? ❞

❝ He/She's really corny. But so hot! ❞

❝ Having a story at all seems gross. ❞

❝ He/She... kicked his/her own butt. ❞

❝ How's the manhunt for me going? ❞

❝ You don't look like a good guy/girl! ❞

❝ Branding was never my strong suit.❞

❝ Let's do things differently this time. ❞

❝ Hey, where'd the goose come from? ❞

❝ Maybe he/she didn't have a choice. ❞

❝ We'll say I'm a scientist. I was. I am! ❞

❝ I'm going to put my head in that hole. ❞

❝ Can't have your cake and eat it, too. ❞

❝ Unless you bake two cakes! ❞

❝ Uh... I don't wanna argue about this. ❞

❝ Alright, no politics at the dinner table. ❞

❝ I didn't wanna hurt him/her. But I did. ❞

❝ Well... why are you saying it like that? ❞

❝ I thought I knew the rest, but...I didn't. ❞

❝ How long have you been lying to me? ❞

❝ I really would've come to see you sooner. ❞

❝ Who laughs in the middle of a fight? ❞

❝ You think you know the rest. You don't. ❞

❝ What? How many of these did you take? ❞

❝ Hey, don't try to wow me with big words. ❞

❝ We're gonna need all the help we can get. ❞

❝ I'm just trying to lighten the mood, y'know...? ❞

❝ So, you want me to handle this one, or...? ❞

❝ I don't think I want this costume anymore. ❞

❝ Yeah, I don't know what any of that means. ❞

❝ Well, screaming their name usually works. ❞

❝ You're just gonna have to shut up and trust- ❞

❝ That's your story! Now, just stick to the script. ❞

❝ Ohh, I'll take the mic. No more mics for you. ❞

❝ Yeah, I'm smiling like it's a joke, but it's true. ❞

❝ What cursed world have you brought me to? ❞

❝ I never really made another friend, after that. ❞

❝ Who are you running around with, anyway? ❞

❝ What'd you call me? You realize I'm right here. ❞

❝ Ohh, this here is why nobody likes us, man. ❞

❝ Why would anyone be scared to talk to me?! ❞

❝ Hey, it's New York. Everyone's got their thing. ❞

❝ Never did come up with a cool name for that... ❞

❝ I joined it so I could hit my feelings with sticks! ❞

❝ I'm just... a really emotionally intelligent guy/girl. ❞

❝ Why wear a mask if you've got nothing to hide? ❞

❝ Nothing is more important than management. ❞

❝ I'm sorry, who exactly are you supposed to be? ❞

❝ Your costume's too tight in the back, by the way! ❞

❝ Oh, yeah. That sounds like a really good fake job. ❞

❝ You're in this to help people, right? Right? So am I! ❞

❝ Bad guy/girl? He/She's barely a villain of the week! ❞

❝ Sounds like he maybe shouldn't practice medicine. ❞

❝ You know, it really is always so great to talk to you. ❞

❝ I didn't join a band so I could talk about my feelings! ❞

❝ What do you mean I don't know that? I do know that. ❞

❝ Take a good look at my great fire from my backpack! ❞

❝ The power of the multiverse in the palm of my hand. ❞

❝ How much longer can I keep lying about who really I am? ❞

❝ Which is it? Hands in the air, or get down on the ground? ❞

❝ Dude/girl, you don't hang out, and you don't wanna talk... ❞

❝ It's really fun cleaning up your shocking mess, by the way. ❞

❝ I mean... how many people can you talk to about this stuff? ❞

❝ I was actually considered handsome, by scientist standards. ❞

❝ It was inconsiderate and super rude! ...And a little cocky... oof! ❞

❝ I wouldn't play with fire, dude/girl, you're kind of made of paper! ❞

❝ Can't you just act like a regular super villain so I can catch you? ❞

❝ Yo, if you don't tell someone what's going on you're gonna snap.  ❞

❝ He/She hasn't always had it easy. And he/she's not the only one. ❞

❝ You're acting like weird stuff like this happens to you all the time. ❞

❝ I lead an elite strike force dedicated to the security of the multiverse. ❞

❝ I always wanted to be in a band. Guess I just never found the right one. ❞

❝ Can we focus on the big fire-breathing threat to time and space, please?! ❞

❝ I've never robbed anybody in my life, please don't make this a bad experience for me! ❞

❝ Can you stop talking about your holes? You're making everyone uncomfortable over here. ❞

❝ I mean, it's more of a meta-commentary on what we call art, but it's... it...it's also...art? ❞

❝ Look, there is a big flying turkey from the renaissance I have to bring to justice, so if you don't mind. ❞

❝ Now I'm stuck putting everybody back where they belong before all of time and space collapses! ❞

❝ You left a hole wide enough for guys/girls like him/her to randomly get shot into the wrong dimension! ❞

[kraeki]

do you think szobo and curtis are good players? we love them as people and all but they get the most criticism online and i always see especially with curtis that he’s overrated. do you think it’s true, honestly?

Hi, sorry for the late answer, you sent this before the Bologna game before the Twitter hive collectively changed its mind about Dom, until the next game at least. But I'm glad I waited because what I was seeing on Twitter after that match helps me make my point in answering you. I ended up accidentally word vomiting though, so my answer is below the cut.

The short answer is that yes I think they are good players. Obviously I am not objective, especially not with Dom, but I would argue that their critics are not objective either.

The Twitter section of the LFC fandom has this weird thing where they can never be happy, they love moaning, sometimes I feel like certain people are almost gleeful after a loss because it gives them a chance to peddle their miserable agendas. But even in good spells they must always have a scapegoat to moan about. Before the season even started I felt like Andy had been picked as the chosen scapegoat by Twitter. Then he has been too good for them to be able to say anything (this will change the moment he has one bad game) so they had to find another scapegoat. Which was Dom until the Bologna game.

Why Dom? Because he was playing badly? No, I actually don't think he was playing badly. He had bad periods in games but others did as well. He just didn't have many wow moments and because he's Dominik Szoboszlai that wasn't good enough. He's putting in good shifts and an essential engine in the team machine but I think Dom is one of our more overly scrutinized and criticized players and I think the reasons for that are threefold: 1) For Hungary he's the star of the show, I don't usually watch their games but from what I've read he almost single handedly wins them some games. Liverpool fans can then be confused and bitter why he isn't doing the same for us, but he's playing a wildly different role in Liverpool, for both teams he's doing what's needed and it's not fair to compare it. 2) He had a crazy good start to his Liverpool career and is a victim of his own success because he set the bar so high that anything that came after that is a disappointment. 3) He's insanely good looking and people don't know how to handle it. It means he's overly talked about and an easy target for jokes and memes. idk if some of these dudes are just attracted to him and their panic about it manifests in hating on him or if they're just resentful of how perfect he is and have to find faults??

Whatever the reason is, it seems like there always has to be discourse about him. He's either the best midfielder in the world and Stevie G reborn or a terrible signing. He's never allowed to just exist and play football at a consistently high level. And it's such a bandwagon effect as well. After the Bologna game a few people started saying that it was unfair how much the fanbase criticized Dom because he hadn't actually done anything to deserve it, and within one hour it seemed like every other account on there was scrambling to put out their own tweet about how underrated his performances have been. The same accounts that were probably calling for him to be benched last week. It just shows how insufferably reactionary the online fanbase is and I'm sick of it. I try not to pay too much attention to player discourse these days because it lacks all nuance and critical thinking.

Now for Curtis, the same reactionary scapegoat principle applies. But I haven't actually seen much criticism about him lately so it's interesting that you have. I think he has a bit the same problem as Dom, that his role in the team is not flashy. He's also a Scouser and while that endears him to the local fans, people have been saying for a long time that the only reason he gets to be in the team is because he's a Scouser and not because of his talent. I feel like this has died a bit down as he's gotten older but maybe the underlying sentiment lingers.

I don't think he's one of our best players, but we have a team of world class players and to answer your question, yes I do think he is a good player and probably underrated. I remember during his best spell last season that you could actually see Liverpool's overall performance statistically increase when he was on the pitch. His big problem is injuries though. Because it seems like he's been in great form multiple times after he manages find his rhythm and consistently starts games and then he always gets injured at the height of hype around him. Like when he was supposed to be called up to the senior England squad last March after he'd been so good for us and then he got injured and lost his chance. Heartbreaking.

I really didn't mean to write so much but here we are. Once upon a time you had plenty of bad players in Liverpool but we are very privileged now because you don't get to become a Liverpool player now if you aren't actually at a top club level.

The bottom line is that online football discourse is toxic and idiotic as hell. I wish more people just supported our players. You can point out their mistakes and criticize them without going all out with "get out of my clerb" stuff. And actually I also think Liverpool fans don't need to point out every single mistake or bad game our players have. We have opp fans to do that. We don't hype up our players enough and that's why our world class players are consistently so disrespected in the media and in awards.

You're a hero if you read this far, but yeah I think they're good players and not overrated!

[goosegirl94]

Myslyvets Return to Nevermore

Chapter 1 A Fresh Start

Tap  tap  tap

The sound of rain drops hitting the tin roof was the kind of calming sound I needed today day. The day I received my letter from Nevermore Academy. Nevermore Academy, the school for outcasts, freaks and monsters. The large N embalmed on the front of the envelope gave me an unsettling feeling. Why? Why did it make me feel so anxious after so many years? And I haven’t even open it yet.

Dear Mrs. Myslyvets

We invite you back to Nevermore Academy for a chance for a career. We offer you a position as a teacher for Monster Biology as well as the head of security.   

We are sure that you have heard of the recent attack on our school and students. We want to make sure such an event never happens again.

We believe with your knowledge and skills you would be a perfect fit for Nevermore to teach and keep our school and it’s students safe.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Nevermore

Huh… well at least it was short and sweet. I wonder how Nevermore knew how to find me. Though I suppose a school like Nevermore keeps track on their students past and present. I wonder what mom and dad would think about this? It’s been years since I've had any contact with them. Is this even a good idea? I guess this would be a good way for me to move on and have something stable in my life?… maybe a few glasses of wine will help.

Two days later Ainslye had managed to find an old high school picture of her being held by another girl in their Nevermore uniforms. That was the day Ainsleys life really started. Maybe going back to Nevermore will start her life again?

“We are delighted that you have accepted our request and invitation Mrs. Myslyvets. Although you didn’t need to come all the way here to state your acceptance. Your families punctuality is as humbling as ever”.

“Thank you but I haven't spoken to my family in years now so...”

“A-ah I see well we thank you again. Our grounds keeper will show you to your room and classroom.”

“That’s ok I can find my way. Just give me the room numbers and I can go from there.”

“Very well then. The new semester will be starting in a week.”

“Thank you. And thank you for such an offer. I’m looking forward to a new start here at Nevermore.”

Stepping through the school brought back many memories. It took no time for the nostalgia to kick in. Walking past the quad, seeing the damage that hadn’t been tended to just yet, Nevermore always had this feeling like the school was indestructible.

“Mrs. Mysylvets! Mrs. Mysylvets! Here are all the students files. The ones with a tag are the ones that will be attending your classes for the semester. You should know, one of your students is an Addams. Wednesday Addams.”

Anisley gave a coy smile, “She gave this place a run for it’s money didn’t she? Even a school like this couldn’t handle her.”

It didn’t take long for Ainsley to find her room. She didn’t bother with settling in and went straight to reading the student files. Not like Ainsley had a lot to unpack. It had been easy living as a minimalist after moving from hotel to motel for job to job. Ainsley saved Wednesday's file for last. The students that were part of the Crackstone attack got a tag on them as well. It seemed that they were also all in her class.

It was clear that Wednesday had suffered the most from the attack. Hit in the head with a shovel, being handcuffed, a hand sliced open then burned, and stabbed?! All to bring back Crackstone to have him reek havoc to the students at Nevermore to later be attacked and almost killed by a Hyde, then saved by a cretin werewolf, Enid Senclair. I am not at all surprised that Wednesday got herself caught up in all of this but, I am surprised that someone liked Wednesday enough to save her life. It’s not like Wednesday has ever really put herself out there to make a friends.

Wow, I didn’t expect myself to miss that miserable kid so much. I’ll have to welcome her back to Nevermore! She’ll hate it… or love it? Either way it’ll be fun.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #215

Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop right now, but I want a desktop computer. As my anhedonia improves, I've been getting much more into gaming again but my laptop has zero space for games. I can only fit WoW on this laptop and that's literally it, even to update that I have to go through and clean things I don't even know if I should remove from my computer 'cuz there's just no space, and I don't even have much on this laptop.

Do you own any television series box sets? Yes, the first four seasons of Meerkat Manor. Idk if the 5th has a boxset.

When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? My boyfriend, before he went home the other day.

Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? Nope.

Have you ever spent the night in jail? Nah.

Do you have long hair or short hair? Short.

How much makeup do you wear on a daily basis? None.

Do you have weak upper body strength? YES

Do you think hugs are awkward? I mean, they CAN be, but I generally love hugs.

Do you think facial hair is gross? No? I mean, if you don't clean yourself then facial hair can certainly become gross, but as a rule, it's definitely not. I'm generally attracted to it.

Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? I've already done that and am literally dyeing it lilac this week.

What is your favorite band of all time? Ozzy Osbourne's solo career.

Are there any paintings on your wall? We moved into this house with a copy of some famous Monet painting above the fireplace. It's one with lily pads.

What do you think is the best smell in the world? Cinnamon rolls.

How old is your oldest sibling? She's like, 40? Somewhere around that?

Do you enjoy dancing? Not anymore. I like watching dancing.

Can you handle scary movies? Yeah, I like scary movies.

Would you date someone 5 years older than you? Yes.

Have you ever been to California? Did you like it? No.

Do you like deviled eggs? I've never tried them and I never will, I would almost be willing to stake my life on the fact I would hate them because of the yolk. They smell foul anyway.

What is your favorite horror movie? The Blair Witch Project.

Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes.

What foods can you absolutely not eat? Beans are one; I literally cannot get them down. There is honestly A LOT of food I can't eat, I'm absurdly picky, but in my defense autism plays a big part in this. My reactions to food I don't like aren't intentional, I will literally just shudder and gag.

Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot.

Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, I'm not interested.

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? Kathryn. I think she ~technically~ has a two-part first name and no middle name, but w/e. She doesn't go by her actual name though.

Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? Disney World, yes.

Have you ever been the victim of a crime? Yes. We had a basketball hoop stolen from our front yard, and our house was also egged one Halloween. We also had an attempted break-in by the Bloods gang. I grew up in a bad town, and to this day I don't understand why we were targeted for so much, we bothered absolutely nobody. My one and only assumption is because we were the first house on a street of the "better" houses; we didn't quite live in the hood or whatever, but the road adjacent to us had more cookie-cutter houses that I'm aware were cheaper and with less yard space than our road. I haven't an inkling of any other idea of what the issue might have been.

What colour are your brother’s eyes? Blue, if I remember correctly.

Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 112. I'm picky with who I add on there.

Do you regularly check anyone’s profile online? Nope.

Is there anything unusual about your house? No.

What is your favourite type of cookie? Just your basic bitch gooey chocolate chip.

Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? No, I'd have an anxiety attack.

Do you snore when you sleep? I do, and I'm very self-conscious of it. I never did when I was a healthy weight and I'm aware my sleep apnea is obesity-induced, so I'm hoping I won't forever.

Who do you (romantically) love? Girt.

Do you wish you could go back and change anything about your childhood? More than anything, I wish my dad was a better dad. I wish he was never an alcoholic. Even though I have very fond memories of playing outside and stuff, I do wish we'd lived in a better, safer town. I wish my parents were stricter about us doing chores.

What would your mom do if you told her you were pregnant? Panic, cry. She knows I'd need an abortion and I have no income so she'd probably assume she'd be paying for it, and even though she's pro-choice by her age (she wasn't always), paying for the extermination of her potential grandchild would basically be the same as tearing her limb from limb. For clarification though I wouldn't ask her to pay for such a thing, I'd be talking to Girt way before her. Hell, I'd ask my DAD before her, just because I know she'd probably rather die herself.

Do you think you have nice feet? No, they're extremely calloused from when I was a teenager and would walk for hours. They just never went away. I also have extremely small toes in a way I think is slightly disproportionate.

Where did you get your name? My mom just liked it. My middle name runs in my family.

What’s the most unique or exotic food you’ve tried? Idk, nothing very weird at all.

Who was your first online friend? A girl nicknamed Kat from the Meerkat Manor forums. Mazzy was extremely close behind or honestly about the same time, both were there when I joined the forums, I just remember I got closer to Kat first.

What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? Autism. I KNOW I'm a high-functioning, high-masking autistic. The revelation that I have it has changed my life and how I face certain issues I have. I've been professionally tested for it, and the results were "yeah, probably a high-functioning autistic, somewhere on the spectrum, we just need further observation for an actual diagnosis." So, the issue is, I don't know the next step to GET an actual diagnosis. Am I supposed to return to this specific location after some amount of time for another test or what? Who has the ACTUAL authority to say, in this moment, "yeah, you have it?"

Do people tell you you have cold hands? Yeah, actually.

When was the last time you held an umbrella? I have zero idea.

Do you feel that the shape of the pasta alters the taste? No.

In games, do you like to roleplay as good or bad? Well in actual writing RP, I tend to enjoy RPing baddies. I try to be a good person, so I think RPing characters that don't give a fuck is a fun experience lmao

Is there an instrument you don't like the sound of? I'm sure there's something, if I actually thought about it. Nothing I have a strong opinion about.

Would you rather be a kangaroo or a sea turtle? Kangaroo. I like social animals and I also don't want to live in fear of getting caught in plastic and shit lol

Do you like to get ready in the bathroom or the bedroom? Bedroom, usually.

What's your favourite Coldplay song? "Paradise"

Do you have a favourite insect? Butterflies and moths. I also love orchid mantises.

What colour is your ceiling? White. We have those godawful popcorn ceilings.

Do you own a scooter? No.

When did you last play a Mario game? Oh jeez, it had to be Mario Kart YEEEEAAAARS ago. I was never really into Mario games.

Are your bedroom curtains long or short? I don't have curtains, this house has shutters.

Have you ever attempted to sculpt something from ice? No.

Have you ever had to wear an oxygen mask? Yes, from an asthma attack as well as another ER visit from a severe asthma flare-up that bordered on an attack.

What’s your favorite thing you own that YOU made? Drawings.

[TW: EATING DISORDERS/SIMILAR] Have you ever starved yourself? I've tried to. I react to severe hunger pains badly though so I never lasted very long.

Has anyone ever had to physically restrain you from doing something? Attempting to kill myself, yes. This happened twice, first with Jason and then with Mom.

Do you like the pretzel M&Ms? I do! Man, that sounds good. The bit of salt adds so much.

Have you ever been accused of thinking you’re too good for something? No.

Have you ever stolen someone’s boyfriend? In technicality, I guess so. Joel broke up with Jenna because he wanted me instead, but thankfully I came to my goddamn senses and cut ties with him.

Do you have a locket? What’s the picture inside of it? No.

How do you react when you feel embarrassed about something? I react to embarrassment the worst out of any emotion. I get VERY short and defensive and want to flee the situation, and it's entirely probable I'll cry.

Have you ever tried to "fix" someone? Sure haven't, that ain't my job.

When’s the last time you were carried by someone? Hell if I know, I weigh almost 300 pounds and have been obese for many years, no one's carrying me lmfao

Are you in possession of any currency that isn’t used in your country? No.

Did anyone witness your last kiss? No, Mom wasn't in the room at the time.

Do you have any younger siblings? Yes, Nicole.

Are you cool with them, or do they annoy you to no end? I love and respect her immensely. It's hard to believe she's my "little" sister. Oftentimes I feel like she doesn't like me though, but both Mom and Ashley agree Nicole is very weird about showing affection or anything similar with anyone but like, kids.

Last person you flipped off? Probably Girt haha, but playfully of course.

Anyone who’s way over-protective of you? No.

Have you ever been to a rave? No, I feel like I'd hate it.

[pbandjesse]

I have come home and am in my own bed. It's nice to be here sbd not because I was in a ton of distress. I actually had a really good day.

I was worried though. Because I slept horribly last night. I was very on edge and tired but I couldn't get myself to a place where I could comfortably close my eyes. I ended up watching cow hoof ferrying and listening to video game things but I still didn't fall asleep until 2.

And then I was up at 4. And 7. And finally at 8. It was not a restful night. Which made it hard to get ready not even because I was tired but I felt all over the place. I was just struggling to complete my tasks and steps.

But I would and would feel good enough. I actually would get to a place where I felt good and that was nice after how much my stomach hurt yesterday.

I would go for a walk again. I ate some berries. I went to see the froggies and pet the goats. And headed back to arts and crafts. Where I sewed the hammock again and set up for the day.

Tati came and we made a half a plan for how to handle the camp accreditation people. And while I was a little nervous, mostly I was just looking forward to the day.

And it was a pretty good day. Our first group was top bar and they were a lot of fun. The issue is always once my last top bar is done. And boy week starts.

Boy week is tough. And while many of the boys are sweethearts, they are much quicker to give up and not do the work and just scribble and tell me they tried and don't want to do it anymore. Which I find ridiculously disrespectful. So when pioneers came and half of them just drew nonsense on their spoons and basically wasted the materials in 4 minutes and said they were done. Thankfully their councilor backed me up and we made them work for a while longer. And the half of the group that was trying made me feel a lot better.

And I had no tears at lunch when I just went right to the office and got my chipotle and ate on the porch and felt a lot better about everything. I also sent my grad school transcripts to Elizabeth so they could put that with my certs to be able to brag that I have my masters to the ACA people.

I thought I would take another walk but I got half way across the field and heard Alexi was walking the ACA people around near my building so I quickly walked up there to catch them. I didn't want them to come when I had a group so this was perfect.

I think they liked me. They complimented how organized the space was and I told them about my projects and systems. We discussed metal working and casting and how we did sewing machine work last week and they kept going

Wow. I've never met someone who does this. And it was really really cool. They barely asked me any questions because I was dazzling them. It was awesome. And I just heard that we did super well on everything. I hope we get to learn more details because I would love to know.

And after they left I spent some time hanging out in the hammock until my next group came. They came 20 minutes early. And I told them absolutely not go do something else and they were like okay cool we had not looked at the time. So I chilled in the hammock for a while and read my graphic novel. Which is fine I don't think it's my favorite but there are parts of it I like. It's written like an anthology so it's not so different stories. And some of the art is really good. I just wish the stories were like a little more flashed out They all feel like chapters in

larger stories.

When the group came back they did a really good job. They were little and I had sent Tatiana down to homestead to steal more yarn because we really did not have enough to do as much hair as she has been having. And she's doing a beautiful job putting the hair on but she's just using a lot of yarn because she doesn't want them to look bald. Which I get but also we don't have the much yard and we have two more days to get there. And it was fun and soon they were off and we had another little break.

I chilled in my hammock and watched a TikTok and ate a piece of chocolate and for once stockade was on time. They went out front and they wash their hands and a couple of them asked about casting and I said well let's sit and talk about it for a second so I had them all come in and I showed them casting and I showed them metal stamping and they were so excited. It was the most excited I'd seen the stockade boys to do anything it'll very long time. And half of them did the metal stamping and half of them did the casting some of them just made bracelets because they had done the casting last week and it just was so good. Everyone had so much fun and I was having a blast and they were so sweet. And they really just did a great job. They wanted to stay until the last possible second. But they did a great job cleaning up and I kicked him out once the day camps got there but they were so much fun. The only real problem we had was we only have one anvil for doing the metal stamping so if I do this again next year I will be asking for another anvil and some numbers and shapes probably. And then right towards the end when I did my last past someone did not wait for me to tell them it was okay to touch it and they grabbed it and thankfully it was solid at least but they still hurt themselves. Not terribly they didn't get a blister or anything but I think it startled all of us. I told him to go rinse his hand under cold water and he didn't even have a blister but it was a little scary for a moment there.

Our last day camp group was fine. There's a couple kids in that particular group that are a problem every week. And the counselors in that group were exceedingly unhelpful. Just completely checked out. And loud about how checked out they were and how much they didn't like the kids and that was pretty frustrating. But we made it through. And the one counselor complemented me on how patient I was and how he could tell that I had been a teacher and that made me feel really good. I really do have infinite patience for most children.

Once the kids are cleaned up and everything was put away I went down to the office to check in about a few things and I found out that the horse girls were spreading rumors that I was being more dramatic about me and Anna doing the same projects and was actually true. And I just reiterated that I just find it frustrating when I have been planning my projects since January that we are doing the same things and then the kids are coming to me and being like I already did them. And so I was a little frustrated and I sent CJ a very long message to tell her how frustrated I was but I'm pretty much over it now. I don't think it's going to happen for the rest of the summer and if it does I will be shocked because it wouldn't make any sense. At least the most of the stuff that the overlaps have been happening have made some amount of sense. Like it makes sense for early American crafts but still frustrated because it makes me sound like a villain and like I'm trying to be the main character when really I just want everyone's programs to be successful and us to be doing interesting and interactive things and doing the best job that we can and doing the same projects in two different program areas where they're not growing on each other is stupid.

I saw Tyler across the field and I waved and I told him I was going home. And then I got my car and I headed out.

I stopped at 7-Eleven and I got two pieces of pizza for dinner. It was $2.50 because there was a deal. And I also got a donut to have for breakfast tomorrow. And then I drove home. It was kind of a long drive because there was a bunch of traffic cuz people are stupid and don't know how to merge off of 83. But it wasn't about drive and I got back here before 5:30.

I found narcan outside on the sidewalk. Like a sealed container of it so I threw that in the back of the car. Don't know why the universe thought I needed that but I have that now. And then I came upstairs after talking to our neighbor for a few minutes. And it was just so nice to see James. They look so handsome. And sweetp seems so excited to see me too.

James was making pasta pasta and I sat in the kitchen with them and we talked and laughed and it was great. We both did our little intro bits that we do mine at camp and there's at the museum. Including all of our pauses for jokes and laughter. And then I opened some mail. My new sandals came. And four new dear America books that I'm very excited to read. And I put some stuff away and discussed with James what we're going to wear for Sam and Paul's engagement party this weekend. I requested that James send pictures to Paul of the two dresses I have is options because I'm not sure what summer attire means. And then I dropped a dress on the ground and I acted like it was the worst thing that ever happened and very dramatically fell into the bed. Where I remained for 15 minutes because it was nice in there.

James had a game to play online with their friends at 6:00 so I would take a very long bath around that time.

I shaved and washed my hair and scrubbed my face and it felt great. I was in there for a very long time. And when I got out I used all the nice lotions and put on a soft dress and laid in front of the air conditioner to dry my hair for a while. And then I started working on this post. I put some stuff away and I cut sweetp's toes. And now I'm getting a little sleepy. I thought maybe I would have a snack but I'm not actually hungry I'm just bored. I actually am probably just going to go drink some water because I did have water today but probably not enough. And hopefully I will sleep better tonight.

I think I'll stay at camp tomorrow. I hope tomorrow is a good day and fun and nice. And I hope I get to go swimming. And I hope coming home on Wednesday heals me. Because I'm going to bring lunch tomorrow again so I don't have to be stressed about it and when I have breakfast I'll have my donut. And I have two apples at camp that I can look forward to. So hopefully no stress. No food anxiety.

I hope you guys all have a great night. I hope you sleep well and you take care of yourselves. Tell the people around you that you love them. Good night everybody

[femmeleatherface]

Spooky Movie Marathon 2024: Week 5

Day 27: J'accuse ! (1919) - French version; unknown restoration info

Day 28: 13 Ghosts (1960) - 2D version :(

Day 29: Un monstre à Paris (2011) - English dub; loosely inspired by Le Fantôme de l'Opéra by Gaston Leroux

Day 30: The Werewolf (1956)

Day 31: The Tingler (1959)

BONUS! KIND OF! Day 32: Coraline (2009)

closing thoughts:

J'accuse ! (1919) - it is... so long... and because it's a silent epic i can't even work on something else while i watch because i need to pay attention to the intertitles so i know what the heck's happening. aghGHGh. but okay. it is an interesting film! there's early use of a moving camera, quick cuts, and montage editing, which is all really neat in a film history way. there was also a lot of location shooting, including in real ww1 battlefields and of the battle of saint-mihiel, which is both extremely impressive and extremely unsettling in a "how much of this is an unintentional snuff film" kind of way. and in terms of its unsettling aspect, it's far more of a romantic war drama than a horror film, but there's certainly horrific elements. i'd classify it in the vein of social horror akin to freaks (1932), where it's primarily a human interest social drama but when the characters are not permitted to pursue their own needs and desires due to larger societal issues, horror elements are drawn on toward the end to leave a final lasting terror in the audience for their own complicity in those issues. (let's call this "horrific social drama.") in freaks the larger issues are ableism and the eugenics movement, in j'accuse it's the devastating impact of ww1. this is scattered throughout in the film's hilarious repeated shot of the grim reaper and his dancing skeleton minions, then culminates in a proto-modern!zombie "return of the dead" sequence at the end. idk, i don't love it as entertainment since it's not really my thing, but it's interesting. also, random note, but i like how they handled françois's character... he was a scumbag abusive husband but got decent character development and felt like a fully-dimensional person. still a scumbag, but a well-realized one.

13 Ghosts (1960) - oh shit, new fave movie dropped. this movie is so fun!!!!! genuinely creepy but also with a goofy 3D gimmick that combined doesn't always work, but is presented with such classic william castle ballyhoo that i can't help but be charmed. i should be irked by the completely ridiculous ending where the (blissfully not annoying) kid watches a man who was about to kill him gets freaking MURDERED and is clearly traumatized by it and then the next day is just like "wow :) this house is great! i hope we never leave!!! :D," but i am too busy adding "watch this in the original illusion-o vision" to my cinematic bucket list.

Un monstre à Paris (2011) - felt kind of lousy and decided to go for something light. got exactly what i needed <3 this movie is really cute! the human characters are all either kind of boring or not very original, but francœur the monster has all of my heart, which combined is pretty standard for monster movies so i am okay with this. the music was also really good, and as poto-related media goes, i really love that the voice they picked for francœur is a very high, soft voice. not only does it make me feel great about MY voice, but if i remember the book correctly that's the voice erik has (or at least how i interpreted it) instead of the deeper "sexy" voice he tends to get given in adaptations. i've only ever seen/heard one erik with that kind of higher and gentler voice before, peter straker in the ken hill musical, so this was really exciting for me and i loved it a lot. that said, this movie SHOULD have been a 2D animated film oh my god. the concept art and storyboards they had in the end credits were SO gorgeous and i think would have really made the film pop much more than the pretty standard and unappealing 3D animation we got.

The Werewolf (1956): puts my grubby gay fingers all over the celluloid. this movie is a metaphor for being gay in the 1950s! you've got this average family man doomed by an encounter with two mad scientists who work and live together in a tooooootallllllyyyyy heterosexual way who then infect him with evil gay werewolf disease (that is related to nuclear stuff because it's the 50s and everything needs to be about nuclear stuff). he forgets his hetero identity and the wife and son he has waiting for him at home, promptly goes into a bar where a man asks him to buy him a drink and then attempts to rob him, leading to them lying on top of each other in an alley while a little old lady gawks and screams at the horrible sight of their entangled man legs. then mr. average family man kills the evil propositioning man and goes and kills more men, turning into an evil gay werewolf by his emotional reactions to them. he doesn't want his wife and son to see the monster he has become and avoids them, seeking solitude so he won't shame them and be tempted to murder by the sexy murderificness of men. and then of course in the end he dies by mob violence, forever doomed to never return to the non-lycanthropic heteronormative life he once knew. A+++++

The Tingler (1959) - my favorite vincent price and william castle movie ever... an underrated masterpiece of meta horror. i've seen this movie before, and ugh! everything about it is perfect to me. if ever anyone wants to understand me better they should watch this because it's got everything: vincent price, a goofy concept played completely straight, meta filmmaking, a really amazing partialized colorized sequence... this is a movie i need to see in a theater SO BAD, but only so long as the percepto gimmick is in place for peak experience.

Coraline (2009) - this was unplanned but we needed to endurance test a room over an extended period of time at work, and the best way to do that is by watching a movie, and this is what got picked! i had to step out to run and errand in the middle of it, so i didn't technically see all of it, but that's okay, i've seen it before. definitely need to see this one in theaters someday when i get the chance--just watching it on a large projector screen with all the lights off and blinds closed was great, the colors and stop motion really really really POP and are so gorgeous and UGH. i love it. this movie shows in theaters every year in the area where i live, but never at good times so i constantly miss it and then am all >:( because everyone i know keeps getting the chance to see it instead of me. someday, though! someday...

okay. phew. this was fun. i don't normally put this much thought and attention into all the things i watch, or watch movies back to back like this, and for good reason because it. is. exhausting. fun, but EXHAUSTING.

no more! i return now to my vegetative tv viewer state... at least until i do my pride movie marathon in june. but that's another story <3

concluding rankings, ratings, and lists (bonus extra sorting into needless categories for my personal amusement):

top tier masterpieces, faves or new faves

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) (duh)

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)

The Tingler (1959)

Planet Terror (2007) was good! will definitely watch again

The VelociPastor (2018)

The House on Haunted Hill (1959)

13 Ghosts (1960)

The House on Haunted Hill (1999)

Coraline (2009)

The Black Cat (1934)

The Skeleton Key (2005)

The Curse of King Tut's Tomb (1980)*

Son of Dracula (1943)* glad i saw it, might not watch it again (at least for a while)

Un monstre à Paris (2011)

Witchcraft (1964)

The Werewolf (1956)

Der Golem, wie er in die Welt kam (1920)

The Comedy of Terrors (1963)

Willy's Wonderland (2021)*

Lyle (2015)*

Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)*

J'accuse ! (1919)* could have been better except for one thing...

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

White Settlers (2014)

The Mummy (1959)

Bijo to Ekitai-ningen (1958)

Prometheus (2012) eugh

The Creature with the Atom Brain (1955)

XX (2017)

Mary Reilly (1996)

Death Proof (2007)

Encounter with the Unknown (1972)

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I hope you had a good week this week! How was your 4th of July? I hope it was good. I got to see a few fireworks from my window haha. Also yes it's been very hot here..ugh. I think I still prefer that over cold weather but it never gets really cold here either and I can't really handle the cold. I have to put fans on and drink cold drinks all the time now..but mostly it's fine haha. How has it been for you? I hope you're staying cool as well!

Haha wow..cuz Aaron is coming back? I totally thought of you when I found that out. But I guess how common is it for actors to come back to a show? He must love it a lot and his El Tango Roxanne is amazing! I know he won a Tony for it haha and I don't really remember people making a big deal like with Jonathan Groff. I did see it and enjoy it on tour but it would be fun to see him in the role! It's also just a fun show to see and I do love shows like that so I'm glad you enjoyed Pretty Woman as well. Wasn't the tour cast with Adam Pascal from Rent? I remember debating seeing it cuz of him lol. I do know what you mean..and I'm a little jealous you have some shows lined up. I'm not sure if I will see Wicked yet..but also Mrs Doubtfire is touring here with Rob McClure from the original role on Broadway and I guess I'm a fan of his but idk if I will see it but it would be cool to stage door. I did see a bootleg of the musical though which is fine and I do like some of the songs so idk yet but I liked him in Something Rotten. The only other upcoming one I would wanna watch is I think Hamilton and idk when that is maybe December and I apparently already missed Company lol.

Aww how sweet that he did that for your friend! Oh I've heard of Jasper in Dead land but didn't know too much about it. It always seemed like a cool show. The only story I have is that I went to one of Jeremy's concerts and me and my sister actually saw him walk out. It wasn't like a stagedoor so he wasn't meeting people but my sister shouted that he was so good or we love you or something like that and he looked back and said thanks I think. About 5 to 10 minutes later..people started chasing him since he was just walking on foot somewhere lol. But it was so crazy and it was like my peak Newsies and SMASH Jeremy obsession in like 2018. That's the only cool thing I have but I hope Aaron stagedoors for you!

I agree about the West End stuff..I think it's similar with Back to the Future? You'll have to let me know how it is when you see it on tour. But with Cabaret, one of the things is that Sally isn't supposed to or has to be a good singer so I'm not sure if that has to do with it. It could just be that people aren't that familiar with the show. Omg wow thanks for the video. I can't even guess how his voice would sound. I will definitely watch the video later and tell you what I think. Well they did it with that movie Boyhood by the same director so it could just be something the director does and things were fine in that movie but it also didn't really add to the movie..idk. like that's the only thing people remember about that movie now. I will send more in a part 2 cuz I worry about leaving it up and not sending or it accidentally getting deleted cuz it's getting long.

hi hi friend!! it was pretty hot last week but it has cooled down slightly here (thank goodness). i am also a summer person but am not the biggest fan of the heat — but gladly welcome summer (and the heat, and wildfire smoke and asthma, etc) over winters here.

haha aaron is part of why i'm going, but i also just really want to see stereophonic & the notebook and more importantly, some friends that i haven't seen in ages! three of my closest friends are on the east coast (one in new york, one in boston, and one in philly) so it'll be a little reunion. it's not super common but i also wouldn't say it's uncommon — thinking of drew gehling and his many, many returns to the brooks atkinson for waitress back in the day. since we last talked, i've solidified my plans a bit more — seeing moulin rouge on thursday, the notebook on friday, once upon a mattress for the saturday matinee, moulin rouge for the saturday evening show, and then on sunday i'll be seeing stereophonic for the matinee and hadestown for the evening. i must be a little crazy for doing a three hour play, then a quick dinner break, then another musical, but at least i roped one of my best friends into doing that whole sequence with me!

and yes! tour cast with adam pascal! you should definitely see wicked if you get the chance; it'll be fun — especially with the movie coming out soon! i'm seeing it in november with my mom, and am briefly entertaining the idea of doing an LA trip in january (might see it in LA then too — not the reason i'd be going down to LA, just is the only show that would be there the days i'm thinking of going to LA). i saw the pre-broadway tryout of mrs. doubtfire when it was here in seattle, and i didn't particularly love it, but i'm curious to see what your thoughts are if you decide to see it! i'm so bummed on your behalf that you missed company :( i hope you get to see something soon! do you see shows regionally too? have you ever seen a show at the sacramento music circus? if you're near there at all? i've heard they do really good productions!! one of my friends lives down there and just saw spongebob there! i really want to see something there someday (and my aunt doesn't live too far from SMC) but the idea of going to california in the summer is not the most appealing thought!

jasper is a fun show! not a good show! but i loved it dearly! — which is really how i would describe a lot of my favorite shows that never make it to broadway, or even the ones that did make it to broadway. and that's so cool that you saw jeremy! speaking of smash, did you see the peacock tweet about smash? i'm so intrigued what that's about. and sooooo excited (and anxious and nervous) about the musical. ahhhhh. i love smash. i always tell myself i should do a smash rewatch. and then i don't. i was talking to jamie last night about smash, actually, so maybe i will do a smash rewatch soon. i haven't really been reading this month; i've only read one book — and i haven't been listening to music or watching tv really (still haven't watched season 3 of the bear, although i did watch my lady jane) so i have no idea where my time has gone. i just feel like i have been very busy? oh well!

[w-wolfhard]

THE OTHER WOMAN by lana del rey.

pt 1 here.

pairing ; mike wheeler x f!reader

warning(s) ; strong language (?) , angst & fluff

wrds frm seb! ; no comment.

ever since that night, it clouded mike's mind. it was all he could think about.

he basically locked himself in his room, with a blank expression, hugging his pillow. he was either in that position, or he layed flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, replaying that night over and over, wondering why he didn't never told you his feelings towards you.

you wanted to ignore mike so badly but it was so hard, having to sit next to him in every class you had with him. mike couldn't take it either. he wanted to fix thing with you so badly.

—

2:41 AM.

you were tired but you could never fell asleep. what happened that night constantly replaying in your mind over and over. you just wanted to brainwash that moment from your mind.

as soon as you were about to drift to sleep, you heard constant tapping on your window. you ignored it for a minute, but soon got annoyed when it continued. you groaned as you dragged yourself out of bed, to go check what it was at your window.

you grabbed one of your blankets, draping it around your shoulders. you opened your curtains, revealing the wheeler boy nearly shivering outside your window. you quickly opened your window, letting mike inside your room.

"hey." mike stuttered, due to the coldness. you tossed him one of your other blankets on your bed. he wrapped himself around the blanket, sitting himself in the chair next to your desk. while you took a seat on the edge of your bed.

"mike, what are you doing here?" you raised your eyebrows at him.

"i'm here to fix things. i can't handle being apart from you." he frowned.

your heart fluttered at his words. he missed you? that touched you.

"fix what?" you acted as if you didn't know what he were talking about 'cause you didn't know to reply, other than say that.

"you know what i wanna fix. i don't wanna spend another moment in life without you, y/n." he sighed. "i had been in love with you ever since i knew what love even meant. i love you. i really do." he spoke all in one breath. your eyes widened in shock, as your mouth opened to say something, but he cut you off. "and one, no i didn't cheat on el. i would never. i broke up with her last week. two, she doesn't mind. she said she knew i loved you. she said she saw the way i looked at you. she also wasn't hurt by it because she has a crush on max. three, i'm so super fucking sorry for everything; for how i've been treating you ever since el. i've been treating you like shit, and i'm sincerely sorry." he finished.

you were in utter shock. you didn't know how to reply. your heart was indeed melted, and your face was indeed looking identical to a tomato. "wow, mike." was all you muttered out.

"i get it if you don't forgive me- i mean you don't have to, but–" you cut off his nonsense blabbering with a hug. a tight hug, full of affection.

"shut up, mike. i do forgive you. thank you." you shoved your face into the crook of his neck.

though you couldn't see, he had a silly stupid grin plastered across his face. he felt as if his legs were jelly, and he could just fall of the chair. he wrapped his arms around you, rubbing circles on your back. "no, thank you. i'd be a weaping idiot, if you didn't forgive me. i missed you, you know." he let out a chuckle.

"i missed you too, idiot." you giggled, releasing from the hug. "so what are we?"

"well, i'm all yours." he joked. "but, i wanna hear your feelings for me." mike teased. you rolled your eyes, and scoffed.

"really, michael? you wanna hear about how much i love you?" you softly smacked his shoulder.

"yes, y/n. i wanna hear all about it." he said, enthusiastically, waving his hands in the air.

"okay, well. i've had a crush on you since we were like 9, and you had no idea how much i fucking missed you. i missed you like a dog misses their owner. i love you beyond the words love." you told him.

he looked at you with a goofy smirk on his face. "i'm all yours."

"good."

tags; @cottoncandybabe @cola-bombs

dm me or comment if u wanna b added to the taglist 4 mike wheeler <33

[rainbowbarnacle]

Mmh, so, it's been a little while, I thought I'd do a little catchup post for the past couple years.

Good Things:

Still in a LDR with @mercurialmalcontent. Hi, darling, I love your whole face.

Bea is 10 as of this year and continues to be terrifying and adorable and terrifyingly adorable.

She did have some vet incidents this year--along with her check-up, she had to get her teeth cleaned. If you've never had a cat's teeth cleaned before, this means she had to get konked out, and oh boy she wasn't happy with me when she woke back up again, but all is well. It turns out she really likes the dental chicken treats!

Also at some point my poor baby got an ingrown toenail. It was easily fixable, at least, and they gave her a cute sheep bandage that matched her eyes:

But all that aside, my murderpuff has a clean bill of health, and thanks to some savings, it didn't entirely gouge my bank.

I have been gleefully absorbing myself in various shows here and there. The Owl House and Our Flag Means Death and What We Do in the Shadows are the most recent fandomy things. I had a lot of fun with The Witcher! (although I still need to catch up on season 2) Luka played Witcher 3 at some point and wow that game is amazing--the stories, the graphics, the music, the monsters, the voice acting, all of it A+++. Still glomming my eyeballs all over One Piece and Mob Psycho and Heaven's Design Team.

I've also been catching up on horror movies! These are often things I avoided like the plague because when I was little I used to think that if I watched things like The Exorcist or Scream or Hellraiser or Evil Dead, MY SENSITIVE SUGARSPUN SOUL WOULD BE TRAUMATIZED FOREVER, but I am continually surprised at how good these stories end up being. I even managed to get through Poltergeist, which I hadn't seen since my mother made me watch it when I was nine. Lots of women helping each other, and familial love, and all kinds of really interesting themes mixed in with it that I was too traumatized to really notice when I was a wee kidlet trying not to bodily expire at the sight of that FREAKIN CLOWN DOLL

As for videogames, I primarily live in FFXIV these days. (I still dip a toe in Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, The Secret World, and Minecraft sometimes though.) The Shadowbringer and Endwalker expansions absolutely blew me away, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

I have been devouring lots of comics. Current favorites include: Kill Six Billion Demons, Everything is Fine, Unsounded, The Sea in You, Sink Your Hookteeth, Castle Swimmer, Shot & Chaser, Path to Timbala, Solivaga, Mias and Elle, and Feral Gentry. Got any recommendations? GIMMIE. :D

Things are mostly uneventful on the writing front. Still writing, still editing people's projects, but mostly I'm just sort of over here in my little corner chipping away at a few original stories as well as a pile of fics for ao3. It's slow going, but it's going.

Crappy Things:

I got a type 2 diabetes diagnosis sometime in May of 2019. I've been handling it pretty okay--my a1c is down to 5.8 as of my last doctor appointment! It's also been a weirdly fun opportunity to learn some new recipes and figure out how low glycemic foods work, so there's that.

I'm still struggling with CFS. Bleeeeh. No huge changes there--big wonky weather changes still make me feel like god is personally wadding me up into a ball, post-exertional malaise continues to be pretty miserable. I do my best to move around when I can--I even got a tiny exercise bike for when it's too icy/humid/miserable for walking, and this also means that if I feel like I'm overdoing it I can just stop instead of having to stagger all the way back home.

Still estranged from 99% of my relatives. No big changes there--I talk to my grandma about once a week, but that's about it.

Still struggling with mental health stuff--deperession, anxiety, PTSD, bad dreams, all that stuff. The one good thing about crappy brainweather is that I can kind of wait it out and something will change, though, so I've just kind of been taking it a day at a time.

I've been pretty freakin' lucky with COVID-19. I've had all my shots, and I'm continuing to mask up and handwash and all that stuff.

Sooo, that's what I've been up to mostly! :D Is that everything? I think that's everything.

Oh, we've also been having some rad thunderstorms: