#ch: Carlie

[hannahssimblr]

“Evan, can I sit?”

He glances up at me and shrugs, patting the ground next to him so I slump down heavily on it and take a healthy gulp from my bottle. 

“You good, man?”

“Yeah, amazing.”

“I, uh, I see you were chatting to Leah, there? You know each other?”

“Nah.”

“Really? Well... she’s a weirdo anyway, you’re better off getting away from her, like, I just sell her weed and stuff, I don’t really like when she hangs around too long.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” 

“Was she being weird with you?” 

“Nope.” 

We’re silent as we watch the flames. I begin to wonder what time it is, and whether I've stayed long enough now for it to be acceptable to go home. As I watch all of the other friends around the fire have fun together I’m struck by how much of an outsider I really am. Sure, Rob and Katie are nice, but will any of that niceness extend into normal life with the eyes of everyone else at school upon us? Surely they will go back to the steps at the back of the school while I go back to the rugby changing rooms, or the library, as it may be and things will resume as they are, as they've always been and always will be. Realistically, would they ever be seen with me? Would I ever be seen with them? There's this weird, empty feeling in me, a feeling that just compounds day after day, month after month, year after year, and it's like I don’t belong anywhere or to anyone. I'm just floating in the in-between, and who even am I? What does it mean to even-

“Hey,” Evan interrupts my spiralling inner dialogue, “I meant to say to you that it’s cool that you came along, you know, even when Jen and Michelle didn’t.”

This takes me by surprise, “You think?”

“Yeah, I mean, I suppose I kind of thought you were just hanging out with us sometimes because of them, and that you didn’t really want to be there, but,” a shrug, “I suppose that isn’t true.”

“No, I like hanging out with you.”

“And it’s not just because you’ve been ostracised by your other friends?”

I hesitate for a beat, “No.”

Evan laughs, “Wow, I’m so convinced!”

“No, come on,” I rock to the side and nudge his shoulder with mine, “Like, yeah, sometimes it’s nice to have Jen here, but I’m fine, I can handle myself around the emos… and as for Michelle, well, she hates me, so it’s actually kinda comfier when she’s not here, and- oh,” I realise immediately what I’ve said, “um, well I don’t really mean that, it-”

“No, it’s okay,” Evan says, “I know that you two aren’t exactly best friends or anything.”

“Ah, so she’s talked to you about me.” 

“Nah, you’ve honestly never come up in conversation.”

“Somehow that’s worse.”

He snickers. 

“How are, um,” I pick at the beer label with my thumb, “How are things going with you guys? Like, the last time we talked you were feeling kinda…”

A sigh, “Oh, yeah, it’s the same. Like, she’s so nice but sometimes I don’t feel like I get enough from her.”

“Uh huh.”

“I kind of get a bit annoyed about it sometimes, like, how are we supposed to be together properly if I hardly see her? Like, man, she’s allowed to come to my house like, once a week. In the afternoon. And that’s the only time we can… uh, hook up or whatever. It’s so annoying.”

“Just from an outsider's perspective, you know, you seem pretty happy.”

“Yeah. She’s definitely into me,” He musses up and fixes his fringe, “I dunno. It’s fine, just sometimes I wonder about shit. You know what I mean, right?”

“I’m probably not the best person to ask, seeing none of my relationships have worked out so far, and I’m also fairly drunk, so…”

“But you know what it’s like to be with someone who wouldn’t give you the things you needed, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“So you do get it.”

“Mm, I suppose,” as our conversation tapers off I let my mind drift into thoughts about love and loneliness and the hollow disappointment of all of my relationships. These are bitter, useless, self destructive thoughts as usual, made even worse by the fact that I’m not exactly capable of rational thought while inebriated. Is drinking bad for me? Am I a miserable drunk? I have to physically shake myself out of my own head before I start talking myself into a hole again.

I turn to Evan to start saying something else about, I don’t know, whether he’s ever tried pranking someone by turning their school bag inside out and putting the books back into it or something stupid like that, but I see he’s distracted by something else across the bonfire. 

It’s that girl with the pink hair. She’s leaning over a bag to rummage for more beer, and her short skirt rides up when she’s bent over like that so that her underwear is visible through the sheer material of her tights. I frown at the dirty little smirk on his face, the way hungry eyes follow her movements, and the look between them as she glances over her shoulder and sees him watching her. I nudge my knee against his to interrupt whatever is going on.

“Wow, nice legs, huh?” 

He looks at me, surprised, but lets out a rough laugh, “Yeah, for sure.”

“Is she into you or am I just seeing things?”

“Nah, I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, c’mon, no, I’m just messing with you, she just looked like… I dunno.”

“Like what?”

I shift awkwardly, “You know what, don’t mind me, I’ve had too much to drink, I thought I detected flirting, or whatever, I guess I was wrong.”

The girl kneels onto the ground and starts asking around for the bottle opener, and Evan doesn’t take his eyes away from her. “She’s pretty though, isn’t she?”

“Hm?”

“Carlie. That’s her name. She’s pretty, do you think?”

“She’s single?”

“Yep.”

“So are you trying to set me up with her or are you just pointing that out?”

“I’m not trying to set you up.” Evan seems agitated by this idea that I might try to date pretty Carlie, who, by the way, treats me like I am contagious. As though it’s any of his business what she does, as if he should even care. Something sour settles in my gut, but I can’t tell whether it’s that I'm weirded out by this conversation or if the alcohol is nauseating me. 

“Right, well, she’s not my type,” I watch his face carefully, “Is she yours?”

“She’s pretty hot.”

Maybe he's looking for my approval or my agreement, which I don’t give him on purpose. To see where it leads me I respond with a benign, “Oh, you think?”

“Uh huh,” They catch eyes again and she smiles coyly and quickly looks away to resume her conversation. That’s flirtation. She’s flirting with him, and him back, right in front of my face. 

“You know, a lot of people would consider your girlfriend to be pretty hot too.” It’s true, I’ve heard those rugby boys saying it before, the only time they ever had anything remotely complimentary to say about any of the emos was to point out the things they fancied about Michelle and what they might like to do to her if she A. wasn’t emo, or B. nobody knew, so that they wouldn’t have to suffer the social consequences. I feel disgusted again at this memory. I know where I was, sitting on the bench lacing up my boots and saying nothing while they spoke casual filth about a girl I know. 

It’s a similar feeling to the one I have now at this bonfire with Evan, and maybe this is how he is when he’s drunk, maybe he just gets a bit… leery, but when he stares across the fire at someone who isn’t his girlfriend I swear I am looking at Willy FitzHerbert. 

He waves my comment away, “Yeah but at least Carlie is interested in sex.”

“How do you know that?”

He leans closer, “Obviously because I’ve done it with her.”

“Yeah?” I say, “When?”

He smirks and says nothing.

I push him again. “A few years ago?”

He lowers his voice and looks at me with eyes that glitter with salacious excitement. I don’t think I’ve ever once seen another boy look so pleased with himself as he says: “Try a month ago.”

It takes all my self control not to react. I just pause for a second as a shock of revulsion rips through my body, I feel it from my feet to the top of my head, and then, when I decide to speak, my voice is strange to my own ears, “While you were with Michelle.”

A shrug, “It just happened on a night out when she wasn’t there. I dunno.”

“She doesn’t know?”

“Course not. She’d break up with me.”

“And... you don’t want that.”

“No, because we’re in love. This stuff with Carlie, it was just… you get what I mean. It’s not like that with her.”

I sigh, “Uh, yep.”

So it appears it is the same for Evan as it is for all the others. Michelle is the virgin, Carlie is the slut and he wants it all at the same time. A girl worthy of love, and a girl interested in sex, two things that cannot converge. There is no girl that can be both.

“It felt good to let loose with someone who knew what they were doing, and like, not have to think so hard about making the other person all safe and comfortable and, blah,” he rolls his eyes, “Carlie is cool.”

“Right, yeah, she seems it.”

“You get me, right? Guys like us, you know, we need to be able to just relax sometimes, not think so hard…”

“Yeah, for sure… Guys like us, huh?”

“Hell yeah!” He clinks his beer bottle against mine, “I knew you’d get it, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should say something but I feel good now that you understand what I meant.”

I try to laugh but it sounds weird and strangled, so I bring the bottle to my lips in the hope that drinking will disguise my discomfort, or at the very least numb it a bit. I finish the last two thirds of it and toss it somewhere amongst the miscellaneous rubbish, remnants of a hundred other miserable bonfire nights on Dollymount strand.  

Then, after a minute or two Evan nudges me again. It’s hard to look at him but I force myself to because it is what I would do if this situation was normal, “You’re not going to say anything, right? Like, to Michelle or Jen? Like I know you probably won’t...” A laugh as he adjusts his fringe, “That'd be insane, I know, but I wanted to make sure.”

“Me? Nah,” I say, “Why would you even have to ask? Don’t worry about it,” I scratch the back of my head, “your, uh, your secret is safe with me.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[toxiccaves]

Sworgrader Ch 2 is out, and it looks like these will be free.

He has a handsome expression, but so far thats all i can really be optimistic about

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 2

Future Emily Prentiss x reader Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, sexual situations alluded to. Okay y'all were super interactive on the first chapter so I figured I'd give you an early chapter as a treat. Lol.

A full week had passed, another one full of overbearing work, handling the slight squabbling from the team while also dealing with constant badgering from the higher ups and Emily was over it. She scooped the final bite of linguine out of the pan, chewing it down while she moved the dish into the dishwasher thankful at least that she didn’t have to hand wash things tonight. It had been an annoying week and the bottle of wine on the counter had been calling her name since about two in the afternoon, the thought of an orgasm to relieve some stress on her mind from the moment she got home. However it wasn’t close enough to shower or bed time yet so the wine would have to do for now.

Emily refilled her glass, picked up her phone and opened the door to the patio, figuring at the very least she could enjoy the warm evening and actually get some fresh air after being cooped up in the office all week. Settling into one of the chairs she swiped open her phone and immediately had to resist the temptation to check her email, reminding herself she wouldn’t be so frustrated if she left work at work unless it was completely urgent. So she scrolled through a couple of social media apps, wasting time looking at pictures posted by friends, which in turn made her feel even more like she was missing out on something. She closed Instagram and her thumb hovered over the screen while she tried to figure out what to doom-scroll on next, finding herself staring at the little red apps Heather had installed. She took a breath, a large sip of wine and bit the bullet, opening the first one and she was pleasantly surprised she could scroll through a handful of profiles without setting one up for herself first.

‘Caitlin. 21.’

“Okay well you’re barely legal.” Emily muttered to herself, scrolling down further.

‘Steven. 32.’

A better age, but still a step in the wrong direction.

‘Kyla. 38.’

Better. But she could only see the main picture, age and location. Pulling her lip into her mouth she flicked around through a couple of pages until she found the how to tips and realized she would have to make a profile after all, even if it was just to see more information. She let out a huff, closing the app, hesitating only a minute before she opened up her text conversation with Heather.

‘Are you SURE this is a good idea?’

Her phone buzzed only a few seconds later.

‘The apps are fine. I’m assuming you haven’t even made a profile yet and it’s just pushing out what it thinks people want to see. You can curate your own experience once you put in your preferences.’

‘And if it still sucks?’

‘Oh come on, what’s the harm in one date? At the very least it’ll keep you entertained.’

‘Who said I’m not entertained?’

‘It’s Friday night and you’re texting me instead of being out somewhere.’

‘And you’re answering.’

‘I’m waiting for Rob to pull the car around; you just caught me at a convenient time.’  ‘Make a profile. There’s no harm in seeing what’s out there. You can blame me if it’s terrible.’

‘Add on a free lunch.’

‘Tell you what, this doesn’t work, I’ll bump it up to dinner and show you a couple of the discreet clubs around the city.’

‘Mark me down as intrigued. Deal.’

Emily let out a huff, swigging back a mouthful of wine before finally reopening the first app to start to put together her own profile. Maybe there really was a chance that this could work out.

*

Carly. 35.

Emily was almost late, one work call turning into another, turning into getting put on hold meant she didn’t have time to go change after work, arriving at Smoke and Mirrors still in her business casual. She was just in the nick of time and instantly found her date nestled into a cozy table on the patio overlooking the river, martini already in front of her.

It wasn’t necessarily that she slipped back into work mode, but her job did help her meet and interact with new people on a regular basis fairly easily. A warm smile and greeting, unsure how awkward something like a handshake would be considering the situation. A few rounds of drinks, a couple of split appetizers, and a decent enough time. While Carly could hold a perfectly good conversation and Emily could see them perhaps being friendly in the future, it wasn’t the right vibe. It certainly wasn’t helping that Emily could practically feel every set of eyes in the lounge on them throughout the night and that you didn’t have to be a profiler to put it together what kind of a situation was going on. It made Emily uncomfortable, like everyone was judging them, more specifically, her. If the two of them had been more friendly to each other right off the bat you might have been able to tell that it wasn’t a date, that they were colleagues or friends but that simply wasn’t the case. Her mind wandered to the thought that there was someone in the room that likely just assumed they were mother, daughter and that made her skin absolutely crawl and instantly ask if they could get the check. She at least felt a little bit better when Carly offered to split it, offering her a small smile that meant she was about on the same page.  

*

Alice. 36.

This time Emily gave herself more than enough time to get home, have a glass of wine to help her relax and change into something more date appropriate. Alice had recommended Fiola and Emily had simply gone along with it, not realizing just how high end it actually was, her eyes widening at the fact that a single cocktail could set you back twenty-five to almost thirty dollars much less the food menu. At the very least, it seemed like the restaurant’s lounge was the place to be for date night on a Thursday, couples scattered throughout the place in various levels of dress. She noticed something on the menu advertising it being the place to be prior to theatre events and their server asked if they were attending a show tonight.

Emily had a little bit more faith in this one, feeling more comfortable considering the setting, actually relaxing as she laughed over her very expensive drink. It didn’t take long for the conversation to roll around to what one did when not out on the town and she let it slip that she worked for the government, a few more carefully worded questions and Alice had enough to figure out she was a fed, excusing herself to use the bathroom. When the room started to clear and Emily realized the other woman’s purse was gone from the back of her chair she let out a soft groan, realizing she was definitely stuck with the pricey cheque.

*

Lily 31.

Emily knew going in this one could be risky based off age alone. Lily’s profile seemed like she did this full time and she already wasn’t sure about things by the time she set foot into 1798. Her suspicions were confirmed when her phone went off with an urgent call she had to take, letting out a sigh as she returned to the table explaining that she had to leave for work and likely wouldn’t be back for a few days at least. In return Lily let out a huff and a whine like she was a toddler, crossing her arms over her chest and demanded that Emily pay for a three course dinner and send her roses each day she was going to be gone since she had wasted her time. Emily outwardly laughed, saying drinks were the only thing she’d even agreed to have, much less pay for and left as fast as she came in.

*

Kimberly. 39.

This one got postponed immediately as a case kept them out of town longer than anticipated. They were still only chatting back and fourth on the app and Emily was venting about being the one in charge and how her team were agents and you’d think they could handle certain things themselves but apparently not. She woke up the next morning to find a couple of messages that insinuated Kimberly might have been doing other things for money that weren’t exactly legal and thought it wasn’t a good idea to get involved with a cop. After Emily sent a reply agreeing, the match disappeared.

*

Emma. 34.

This one started off slow, a match, Emily shot off a message and waited a while to hear back. She was pleasantly surprised when her phone pinged with the reply she’d been hoping to get for a few days. They got along wonderfully, everything seemed to be falling right into place, their opinions, expectations, they shared a handful of the same favourite movies, foods, for once it seemed like things would be perfect. Emily opened the app when she got home from work that night to ask her out for drinks that weekend to find that she’d been completely ghosted, unmatched and no way to find Emma again.

*

Kori. 40.

The second match that had gone off without a hitch and a plan to meet at Blue Duck Tavern that coming Thursday night. Emily arrived a little bit early thanks to a complete lack of traffic and figured she would just grab a drink at the bar while waiting. You could only imagine her confusion when she was tapped on the shoulder and turned around to see an older than middle aged man with a timid smile introducing himself, apologizing that he didn’t look like his pictures.

That one earned an eye roll and a ‘yeah, right’ before Emily was heading for the door.

*

The week had finally come to a close and Emily had dismissed the BAU shortly after lunch, telling the team to get out of there while they still had the chance and everyone was quick to leave the building, herself included. Construction rerouted her normal commute home and when she ended up in the same neighbourhood as Heather’s office her mind wandered back to how unsuccessful her past two weeks had been and before she even really realized it, she was pulling into the parking lot.

“I’m being serious Heather, it’s fucking terrible.” She groaned, dropping down into a chair across from the other woman’s desk. “This is almost as bad as dating men was.”

“From what I heard some of them are men.” Heather replied with a tease and Emily shot her a glare.

“I just thought this would be easier.”

“Finding the right fit is the hard part, it’ll smooth over once you do.” Heather flipped the book in front of her closed, standing from her chair and crossing over to the liquor cart, filling up two glasses of scotch.

“I didn’t want to deal with the hard part though.” Emily continued to mope, thanking her for the glass.

“Drink. You’re too pent up.” She settled back at her desk, “you really do need to get laid.”

“Don’t you think I’m trying!?” She sucked back a mouthful of the liquor, stewing in her thoughts for a moment. “Please tell me you’re having more success in this than I am, how’s your bartender doing?”

“Are you kidding?” Heather laughed, “you saw her. She’s practically pathetic. She was pretty enough, but my god the level of insecurity? The constant whining and worrying? Don’t get me wrong, I love a good brat but there was no way she wouldn’t have been crying on my doorstep begging me to leave my husband in a week’s time.”

“Have you had that happen before?” Her eyes widened at the sheer thought of it as Heather nodded.

“Best piece of advice I can give you, don’t let them know where you live. Stick to hotels.”

“Noted.”

“What are you having the biggest trouble with? Maybe I can help.”

Emily sighed softly, swirling her cup as she stared into it, sorting through the string of failed dates, “honestly I don’t even know. Maybe I just need to play around with the age range…. Would probably help to bump it up a little it.”

“Anything under thirty-five does usually end up getting messy.”

“I want someone who has their life a little bit more put together; you know?”

“Mmhmm.” Heather replied over the rim of her drink, “you need to make sure that this isn’t their only source of income, that they have something else going on to fill their time and bank account up. Maybe someone who has an actual partner.”

“I don’t know about that.” Her nose crinkled, “would feel wrong. But someone who has a full time job and wouldn’t be completely dependant on me certainly would be nice. I don’t have the time or energy for that.”

“You need a gorgeous, ambitious girl who knows how to be discreet in public and likes get her brains fucked out in private.”

“Exactly.” She laughed, taking another sip of her drink as Heather tilted her phone screen towards her, hitting a couple of buttons before returning her attention to the other woman, “you know, if you ever think of changing career paths…”

“Become a matchmaker for sugar babies?” She chuckled, “there would likely be a market for that, maybe after retirement.”

Emily laughed, shaking her head as she watched the wheels start turning in the other woman’s head. She heard a brief knock on the door behind her before it swung open,

“I didn’t realize you needed this by the end of the day, sorry.” You swung through the office, coming to perch on the side of Heather’s desk as you handed her the file.

“It’s alright, it slipped my mind too.” Heather replied as she opened the file, skimming through it.

Her eyes flicked over to Emily briefly, watching the way her gaze drifted from the designer heels on your feet all the way to the necklace laying against your collarbone. You were dressed professionally yet incredibly stylish, dark pencil skirt, a peach sleeveless blouse tucked into it, blazer no doubt laying over the back of your desk chair. A delicate silver watch around one wrist, perfectly manicured nails and eyes that were suddenly set on her.

“Hi, sorry to interrupt. You’re FBI, right? Prentiss?” Your words jolted her out of her trance and she caught herself scrambling over the fact that you knew her name, wondering if she’d left her ID badge on after work.

“Well now I feel bad.” She laughed.

“Don’t.” Heather cut in, her eyes back on the file, “she just does checks on anyone that comes in here.”

“Ignore her.” You replied with a grin, sticking out your hand to introduce yourself, “y/n Walton.”

“And you’re what? Secret security?” Emily asked with a tease and you laughed as Heather tucked the file away into her desk.

“She’s the head of my PR team, does incredible work.”

“I should hope so, you practically groomed me into the assistant you needed.”

“I did not—” Heather scoffed, “you’re a horrible tease.”

“I do my job and then some, and I do it phenomenally.” You showboated for a second, grinning over at Emily before looking up at your boss, “which is why I’m double checking it’s still okay to duck out early tonight?”

“Why?” The other woman asked with a smirk, “you have a hot date or something?”

“Heather, please.” You barked out a laugh, “you’re a slave driver! You know I don’t have time to properly date with my schedule.”

“So why the need to play hooky?”

“A new Netflix special drops at six and I have a frozen pizza, a pint of ice cream and that bottle of Bordeaux screaming my name.” You slipped off the side of her desk, “besides, you still owe me the OT for putting together the gift baskets and flower arrangements for Senator Reeves. You do remember you have an assistant for that kind of shit, right?”

“Oh but sweetheart you’re so much better than them.”

“I know.” You grinned at her, “which is why I’m leaving early.”

She laughed, shaking her head, “keep your phone on.”

“Of course.” You turned, smiling across at Emily, “nice to meet you Agent Prentiss.”

Emily couldn’t help the way her eyes followed you out of the room before she finally turned back to Heather who was grinning like the cheshire cat over the rim of her drink.

“What?” She asked, feigning confusion and Heather chuckled.

“You liked what you saw.”

“Hard not to.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drool like that over someone before.”

“I—I was not drooling!”

“Maybe not from your mouth.”

“Heather!” Emily felt her cheeks begin to burn, attempting to hide behind her glass as the brunette let out a dark laugh.

“Here, at least take her phone number.” Picking up a pen she scrawled the digits out onto a post it note, handing it to Emily.

“I don’t have time to date, you know this.”

“And you heard her.” She gestured toward the door, “she doesn’t either. You wanted someone with their head on straight who is comfortable occupying themselves when you’re working. I make her schedule; I guarantee she works as many hours as you do. Besides… she’s done this a couple of times before.”

That caught Emily’s attention, looking up from the yellow paper in her hand with her brow furrowed, “really?”

“Yes.”

“With women?”

“She needed some help through college, I was bored.” Heather shrugged, “worked out for both of us and now she’s on my actual payroll.”

“She’s been working for you that long?”

“Mmhm.” Heather nodded.

“So you really did groom her?” Emily teased and it was Heather’s turn to scoff, rolling her eyes.

“Just call her.” She half glared, “god knows she could use a night out, and one where she doesn’t have to rub elbows with politicians the entire time. She deserves a break and likely needs a good fuck, both of which I’m sure you can give to her.”

“We really don’t need to have that conversation.” She laughed, tucking the post it into her pocket, “but thank you. I will think about it.”

“Don’t think too long.” Heather smiled as Emily got up from her chair, scooping up her jacket from the back of it. “If you come back here in two weeks complaining about the shitty apps and you haven’t called her yet I’ll start feeding her lies about how much you suck.”

“Okay, okay.” She laughed, “I’ll call. And I’ll see you later.”

_________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @five-bi-five-mind @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @hotchs-bitch @ollysmulti @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovak @soverign @v3nusxsky @blackbird-brewster @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @supercorpstan97 @asolitaryrose3 @honeyycatt @trauma-factory @lisqueen

[crazydestinymilkshake]

Caitlin Clark x Kate Martin Ch 4

Disclaimer: This is my first time writing a fic! Any feedback is welcome. Don't know exactly where I'm going with this but friends -> lovers, Caitlin's gay-awakening. I obviously don't own any of the rights to these characters etc. Inspired by the Caitlin x Kate music fics.

Song: Too Much - Carly Rae Jepsen

Caitlin

On the court, she was electric.

She hadn’t felt like herself all summer — not really. Not with the walls closing in back home, not with the chaos of switching commitments, not with the social distancing. But now? Under the fluorescent lights of Carver, ball in her hands, defenders closing fast — she felt it again.

Like the game belonged to her. Like her body had finally caught up with her heart.

Bluder watched a scrimmage unfold and didn’t even bother to hide her grin. “Clark to Martin. Martin to Clark. Magic.” 

They were. Even Caitlin knew it. She and Kate were everywhere. In sync. In step. Like someone had drawn a straight line between them and neither could veer from it.

Every no-look pass found Kate. Every outlet led to Caitlin. Their timing was freakishly perfect. The rest of the team had started joking about it — calling them twin telepathy. But no one said it out loud, what it actually felt like.

Gravity.

Off the court, the rhythm didn’t stop — it just got louder. They stretched side by side, elbows brushing. Shared AirPods on the team bus. Passed notes during film sessions. No one said anything. But everyone noticed.

Except them. Or maybe especially them.

It was getting harder for Caitlin to look away.

Am I bad for you? 'Cause I live for the fire, and the rain, and the drama, too, boy

The worst was after practice — when sweat still clung to their skin, Kate's compression shirt drenched. Caitlin would try and peel her eyes away from Kate when she changed out of her jersey. She looked godly, blonde mane, wiping the sweat off her neck with a towel, laughing with someone across the room. Caitlin would catch herself staring — for too long, with too much heat under her skin. Her throat would go dry, and she’d duck her head into her locker, cheeks burning, trying to turn the image off before she went to bed at night.

And it feels like you never say what you want. And it feels like I can't get through, babe

She hadn’t told anyone she liked girls. Not out loud. Not even in her own head, really. The thought lived in the periphery — foggy, unspoken, tucked behind excuses. She didn’t have time for distractions. She was focused on basketball. That’s what she told herself. That’s what she told everyone who asked about her dating life.

When I'm thinking, then I'm thinking too much. 

But the truth? It started all those months ago in Kate’s dorm. In the late-night voice notes that made her laugh too loud. In the way her chest tightened when she saw Kate’s name on her screen. She hadn’t called it what it was, because naming it meant letting it be real. And real meant terrifying.

Because what if it wasn’t just a friend crush? What if it wasn’t just admiration? What if the way her stomach flipped every time Kate leaned in meant something more? She hadn’t told anyone just how badly she wanted her.

Is this too, is this too much?

But the wanting, the yearning, the fire in her belly was there — quiet, growing, dangerous. And the way Kate smiled at her like she already knew? 

Is this too much?

That didn’t help. Not even a little.

Is this too, is this too, Is this too much?

That night after practice, Caitlin was the last one in the locker room. She sat on the bench, still half-laced in her sneakers, when Kate walked in to grab her sweatshirt.

Kate leaned against the doorway. “You okay?”

Caitlin didn’t look up right away. “Do you ever feel like the only time you’re breathing right is when you’re here?”

Kate didn’t hesitate. “Every single day.”

Caitlin smiled without showing her teeth. “Good. Thought I was losing it.”

Later that night, Kate knocked on Caitlin’s dorm door. She had a paper bag with a warm sandwich and a protein bar inside.

“You didn’t eat today,” Kate said.

Caitlin blinked, caught off guard. “I’m fine.”

Kate shrugged. “You didn’t eat.”

There wasn’t a fight. Caitlin took the bag and ate in silence while Kate sat on her desk chair, spinning slowly side to side.

When she finished, Caitlin mumbled, “Thanks.”

Kate just nodded. “Always.”

They didn’t talk about how often it happened after that. How sometimes Kate brought snacks. How Caitlin always finished them.

But Caitlin started to feel tethered. And terrified that someone was truly seeing her.

Am I too close?

—--------

Kate

The captaincy hit different.

She wanted it — badly. But now that it was hers, she couldn’t stop questioning what it meant. Why her. If she was ready.

The announcement came from Bluder in the middle of a quiet team meeting, a little nod and a soft clap. Monika pulled her aside after lifts. 

“You’re captain now,” she said, grinning. “That means fewer flings, more film.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “You sound like Coach.”

Monika didn’t budge. “I mean it. This team looks at you. You set the tone. Are you okay with that?”

Kate wanted to say yes. She did. But something in her stomach flipped. “I’m not gonna mess it up,” she said.

“I know,” Monika said. “But you’ve gotta live like that.”

That night, Kate stared at Amanda’s name in her phone. And deleted it. 

Not because she had to. But because it didn’t fit anymore. None of that did.

Because Caitlin was there. Every day. Every minute. And Kate didn’t know what it was, not yet — but she knew it mattered.

'Cause you fold into me like a heart with a beat

She was scared of what that meant. Of what people would say. Of what she might become if she let herself want too much.

But every time she caught Caitlin looking at her — at practice, at dinner, when she was tying her shoes — she felt it.

The gravity.

— 

Caitlin

She hadn’t wanted to go to the party. She said so twice, pacing in Kate’s room, arms crossed tight over her chest. “I’m not in the mood,” she muttered, avoiding Kate’s eyes. “It’s gonna be loud. Dumb. A bunch of sweaty guys screaming at a TV.”

She’d said it again while lying on Kate’s floor, head resting on a pile of laundry, scrolling aimlessly through her phone. “I don’t feel like it,” she muttered. “It’s just another football house.”

Kate tossed her one of her gray crewnecks and grinned. “So? We’ll leave early.” Caitlin sighed. But she tugged the sweatshirt on anyway. It smelled like Kate’s cologne and that settled her chest. 

That was the thing about Kate — she didn’t ask for much. But when she did, Caitlin never knew how to say no.

They walked in together, shoulder to shoulder. The place was packed. Half the football team crowded the kitchen. Music thudded through the floorboards. People laughed too loudly, drank too quickly, danced like they were trying to forget something. The house pulsed. Someone had dragged a speaker into the living room, and the floorboards thudded with every beat. Caitlin could feel the bass in her ribs.

'Cause I live for the fire, and the rain, and the drama, too,

Caitlin hated this. She hated parties. She hated the smoke, the heat, the shallow smiles. She hated how cramped the air felt. How some guy in a jersey looked her up and down before she’d even made it to the drinks table. She hated how badly her skin burned with the urge to be somewhere else — anywhere else — until Kate leaned in and muttered, “The music absolutely sucks,” and she laughed, really laughed, for the first time all night.

With Kate beside her, shoulder brushing hers every time she laughed — it didn’t feel quite so bad.

When I feel it, then I feel it too much

They drank. Slowly. Enough to feel warm. Enough for the edges to blur. Somewhere behind them, someone shouted about starting a game of Kings.

“I hate this game,” Caitlin said.

She tried to fade into the background, half-heartedly sipping whatever someone handed her in a Solo cup, but the circle found her. She sat down. So did Kate, right next to her, knees knocking together.

It was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

The laughter was too loud. A guy from the swim team — slick hair, cocky grin, obvious hands — sat on her other side. He kept leaning in too close. Asking her name like he didn’t already know it. Brushed her knee like it was casual. Kate saw it. Caitlin could feel the tension radiating off her.

And Caitlin felt it too. Not the guy. Not really. But the way Kate was watching her. The heat in her cheeks.

When I feel it, then I feel it too much...

Then came the dare.

“Caitlin,” one of the girls slurred, “kiss the person to your left.”

Swim guy grinned. “That’s me, right?”

Caitlin didn’t move. Didn’t speak. She didn’t even know his name: Nate, or Neil, or something. To her left was nothing but a smug smile, lifted eyebrows, and the whole group egging her on.

Caitlin didn’t move.

The guy leaned in. “C’mon, it’s just a game.”

That’s when Kate stood up. Fast. Controlled. Voice sharp but steady.

“She doesn’t want to.”

The room went quiet for a beat too long.

Swim guy blinked. “Relax, it’s—”

“She doesn’t want to,” Kate repeated, stepping between them. Her voice wasn’t loud. It didn’t have to be. The room quieted — not completely, but enough.

Swim guy held up his hands like he was the victim. “Jesus. Didn’t know she had a girlfriend.”

And Caitlin’s heart thrashed in her chest. She didn’t look at Kate. Just stared at her drink and thought, “Do I?”

When I'm drinking, then I'm drinking too much

Kate corrected him, sharp and clean: “You mean, Captain.” And the whole room sort of laughed and sort of didn’t.

The moment passed, it was someone else's turn. But not for Caitlin. For her, everything in the room disappeared. No music. No people. Just that question looping in her skull. “Do I?”

When I'm thinking, then I'm thinking too much

Kate walked toward the porch. Caitlin hesitated, then followed.The air outside was colder than she expected. Caitlin didn’t speak. Her heart still thundered.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she muttered.

Kate slowed beside her. “I didn’t like the way he was touching you.”

“I could’ve handled it.”

“I know.”

Caitlin crossed her arms. “Then why did you jump in like that?”

Kate paced. Hands shoved into her jacket. “Because he wasn’t listening.”

“You didn’t have to blow it up.”

“I wasn’t going to let him touch you.”

And Caitlin hated that it made her feel something. She hated how much she needed to hear it.

Kate stared at the ground. Then up. Her voice cracked. “Do you know what it does to me when I see that?”

And it feels like you never say what you want

Caitlin blinked. “What?”

“Him. Looking at you like you’re just… a thing. Like he has a right to you.”

And it feels like I can't get through, babe

Caitlin didn’t know what to say. She opened her mouth. Closed it. “That whole thing. You—stepping in. Acting like—”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m yours.” The collar of Kate’s sweatshirt felt too tight. Too warm. Like she was wearing a secret in public.

Kate’s voice didn’t falter. “Are you?”

Is this too much?

Caitlin’s breath caught. She didn’t know. Or maybe she did. But if she said it, it would be real. So she said something awful. Something safe. “I didn’t mind him.” And that was the moment she regretted as soon as the words left her mouth. Because Kate flinched. Visibly. What was going through her head?

Caitlin didn’t want to hurt her. She just didn’t want to be the one who wanted more. Not first. Not out loud. She was terrified that if she let herself want, really want, she’d ruin everything. And if Kate didn’t feel the same — if this was all in her head — then she’d lose the only person who’d ever made her feel seen.

Kate’s eyes narrowed. “Bullshit.” Caitlin’s eyes went soft. Kate knew her too well.

Caitlin looked away. “Okay, maybe I did... Mind it”

Kate stepped closer. Not touching. Just closer.

“I…” Caitlin stared at the ground. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Yeah,” Kate said. “Well, welcome to the club.”

Caitlin exhaled sharply. Her hands trembled. “I’m scared.”

Is this too much?

“Of what?”

“This is all fucked,” Caitlin muttered. “We don’t talk about it. We don’t say anything. But then you get angry if I breathe near someone else.”

Am I too close? 'Cause you fold into me like a heart with a beat

The silence stretched between them — until Kate stepped closer. Slowly. Like she didn’t want to spook her. Kate exhaled hard. “You want me to say it?”

“I don’t know,” Caitlin whispered.

“Because I will.”

And did you know that I'm wild for your skin

“Then say it.”

And the dance that we're in?

A beat.

Kate shook her head. “This is already something,” she said. “You pretending it’s not doesn’t make it go away.”

So close now, so close now

Caitlin leaned back against the railing. Cold in Kate’s sweatshirt. Cold everywhere else. “It could ruin everything, Kate.”

Kate stepped in. So close now Caitlin could feel her breath. “It already has.”

Is this too, is this too, Is this too much?

Caitlin opened her mouth — to deflect, to backpedal, to say something awful and protective — but nothing came. Just Kate, too close, too calm. If she didn’t move now, she’d lose her. So she did. And then—

Too much... too much... too much

It happened.

Caitlin kissed her. 

If this is love, I might be too much...

Not out of impulse. Not out of fear. But because it had been building — in locker rooms and sideline glances and unsent texts — and because she couldn’t not kiss Kate Martin anymore.

It wasn’t soft. Not at first. It was desperate. Like something snapped. Her hands were in Kate’s hair. She flicked her tongue across Kate’s lips, they instantly parted like they’d been waiting for this moment since the second they met.

Kate kissed her back. Fiercely. Fully. Letting her tongue explore Caitlin’s mouth, feeling the heat between them. Feeling what it was like to breathe Caitlin’s air.  And then—slower. Gentler. A thumb brushing her cheek. A nose bumping hers. Caitlin pulled back just enough to breathe.

When they pulled back, Caitlin rested her forehead against Kate’s. “This doesn’t feel like nothing.”

Kate didn’t hesitate. “It’s not.”

Caitlin’s voice wavered. “So what do we do?”

Kate’s answer was barely audible as she twirled her fingers through Caitlin’s straightened hair. “Try not to fall in love too fast.”

'Cause if I love you, then I love you too much

And Caitlin almost whispered, “Too late.” But the words stayed in her mouth, safe for now.

They didn’t say another word the rest of the walk home.

But their pinkies brushed.

And when they reached Kate’s building, Caitlin hesitated.

“Should I stay?”

Kate didn’t answer.

She just opened the door.

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 36

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 18 minutes

Chapter warnings: smut, female masturbation, protected sex, dirty talk

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Jungkook sat across from Carly, the tension between them palpable. He was surprised she allowed him to step inside her apartment again after how things ended the last time. He was convinced he wouldn't need to be there, because Y/n didn't believe in it, and something deep inside him didn't want to believe it was actually working -after he naively ate it up for years.

—Carly, I need your help.

—Is this about the curse? —she eyed him up over her cup, barely dedicating an attentive glance at him.

—Please —Jungkook leaned forward, his voice low but urgent—. You have to undo this. It'll ruin everything.

She left her cup back on the coffee table, crossing one leg over the other while she kept her serious look.

—I told you when we parted ways, I told you the other day, and I'll say it again: Jungkook, you brought this on yourself. Either way, you seemed quite happy when I first told you. You even thanked me.

He clenched his jaw, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

—Fuck, Carly —he sighed—. I know what I did back then, I know what I said, and I'd punch myself in the face if I had me in front right now. That doesn't mean I don't think differently.

Carly's expression softened slightly, though she tried to hide it. Her tongue moved through her lips, making them shiny down the golden light of the lamp over their heads and her eyes narrowed.

—Will you be willing to do anything to take it back?

—Yes, anything.

—Then get naked on my bed and make me have a good time —she looked carelessly while saying those words—. A throwback.

His face twisted in disgust almost at the same time that idea left her lips. Four months back, he probably would've dragged Carly to her bed mid-sentence. Actually, four months back he wouldn't have been there begging her to take back the curse.

—What crack are you on? No.

—Why not? Y/n wouldn't know. I for sure wouldn't tell her.

—I don't care. I'd know.

Her eyes opened slightly, going back to their natural shape, as she was lightened with the key words to get her to believe him.

—Look, you're beautiful —the last thing Jungkook needed was her to feel offended by his rejection—, but Y/n is more beautiful. And before you curse me again —he warned her, when she was about to speak—, what I mean is that she's the only one in my eyes. I can't even think of being with someone else, short-term, long-term, I don't care. I want her to be the only one in my life, and I want her to stay in my life —he specified—. Shit, I think I love her.

—You think so? —her hands dropped to her lap— That "think" doesn't go in that sentence, you love her —she clarified—. And calm down, big boy, I don't want anything to do with you, it was a test.

Jungkook was hopeful when her eyes looked at him with a kindness he recognized from the days they saw each other, but the sigh that came out right after gave him the worst of the feelings.

—I'd love to help you, seriously. But I can't.

—What do you mean you can't? Fix it —Jungkook insisted, desperation creeping into his tone—. I'm begging you. I need this to be done before things go bad. I can't lose her because of this.

Carly blinked, the walls she'd built around her emotions cracking just a little.

—There's more to it, right?

There was, but she didn't need to know. And he wasn't sure saying out loud what he was hiding was going to make things better.

—Jungkook, I'm sorry. I was hurt when I did it. I wanted you to feel what I felt.

Jungkook exhaled, running a hand through his hair, hiding half of his face behind his tattooed hand before looking at her again.

—You know, I've had this curse present in my life since we parted ways. I was so happy about it, the only thing that scared me was it disappearing —he admitted, with a bitter smile—. And now I'm so fucking terrified of not getting rid of it.

Carly hesitated, guilt flashing in her eyes. She placed her cup down, folding her hands on the table.

—I don't think your spell is reversible.

Jungkook's heart dropped.

—What do you mean, you don't think?

—If you remember the words I used... —she trailed off, looking genuinely remorseful— I said you'd be repaid with everything you did to others. Jungkook, it wasn't a normal love curse. What I threw on you was a karma spell. I wanted to make sure you went through hell before being able to be loved back by someone.

Jungkook stared at her, his chest tightening.

—So I'm stuck with this forever?

—No —Carly shook her head—. The curse will go away when you confront all the karma you have pending. Only then, the curse will disappear.

He leaned back in his seat, defeated. For a moment, the weight of everything crashed down on him. He was sure karma was out to get him, but he wasn't sure the levels of the pain he'd have to go through to overcome it.

The rest of the day didn't go any better.

Jungkook stormed into his gym, thankful it remained closed for that day and Jimin wasn't there to ask him what was wrong, his footsteps heavy with frustration. He slammed the door to his office, breathing heavily, his hands shaking with pent-up rage.

Without thinking, he started kicking everything in his path -chairs, a stack of papers, even a punching bag that was hanging just a little too close to the edge of the room. His chest heaved as his anger spilled out in the most physical way he knew how. It wasn't enough, though. None of it was enough to shake the hopelessness.

Suddenly, one particularly hard kick sent a file cabinet wobbling, and an old, thick file tumbled to the ground, scattering its contents across the floor. Jungkook paused, staring at the mess. The file folder had the date "November 2021" written in bold, faded letters. Curiosity tugged at him, pushing aside his frustration for just a moment.

He knelt down, gathering the papers into a pile, when something caught his eye -a photograph. His brow furrowed as he pulled the picture out from the pages. The image showed a familiar face. A face he had seen before, but not here. His heart stopped for a beat, and he was sure the office started turning in circles around him.

It was Y/n's brother.

His breath hitched as his eyes scanned the attached form -an application for the gym, with dates, contact details, and fight records. There, written in black and white, was everything. Y/n's brother had been a member. He was a fighter in that very gym, although he didn't manage to see him.

Jungkook's hands began to tremble as he flipped through more pages, trying to piece together the puzzle that was unfolding in front of him. Then, it hit him like a punch to the gut. The date of Y/n's brother's last fight -his final fight- was there. The same night he had been killed.

November 2021... He remembered that month he had one bad injury that kept him away from the gym. He was barely around there, he didn't even train people because he had someone else do it for him that worked there before the gym turned to be his. The only times he went to the gym were because Elijah showed up, and he knew Jimin hated to be alone with him.

The line of the 21...

Mercy Stroke...

The day his last fight happened, he remembered he was so out of himself that he didn't even pay attention to who was competing. Elijah wanted him there, because he was a good fighter, and Jungkook barely looked into it before he told Jimin to let him know.

When he learned the news of his accident, he got so scared that he promised he wouldn't send any other fighter if he could avoid it. And he missed every update related to it because his family was too involved in the case. He was even hopeful he managed to survive, and he wasn't part of the cursed line of the 21. Yet he was wrong.

Now everything made sense for him.

His stomach churned with nausea as realization dawned on him. Jungkook had been the one who sent him to that fight.

—Shit... —he whispered, his voice hoarse as guilt washed over him in waves.

Jungkook's entire body felt heavy, as if the weight of this discovery might crush him. Y/n didn't know. She had no idea about his role in it. How could he tell her? After everything they'd been through, after she finally started to open up to him, how could he admit that he had unknowingly led her brother to his death?

He dropped the papers, running his hands through his hair in desperation. He couldn't tell her. Not now. Not after she'd confessed she liked him. Not after they had gotten this close. He couldn't destroy everything -couldn't be the one to break her heart again.

The familiar clatter of keyboards and phones buzzing filled the newsroom, but Y/n's focus was elsewhere.

She was smiling like a fool just thinking about the way Jungkook looked so peaceful in her bed, sleeping while she was getting ready for work. It was almost as if he hadn't pumped her into her so hard that she could feel and hear the way her guts were rearranging the night before. Although what had her kicking her feet under her desk and giggling was the way he showered her body with kisses, whispering into her ear sweet nothings until she fell asleep in his arms.

Who would've told her that man was good at annoying her, but even better at making her nervous with just a word.

She leaned over her desk, mindlessly scrolling through old case notes about the current article she was working on, trying to focus back on her work and kick Jungkook away even if it was for a minute.

Just as she was about to give up for the day, her phone buzzed with a new message. Her eyes flicked to the screen, and she saw the name that instantly caught her attention: Alan.

It had been long since she last heard of him. Actually, it had been long since she found a new hint to follow in the investigation. Not even Jungkook managed to find anything to hold onto, despite how hard he tried. It had stalled, and it felt like they were constantly running into dead ends.

"I have info. Prize: coffee and a donut"

Y/n wanted to be excited for that message, but the truth was that Alan took way too long to give her something to catch on. And last time he did, it wasn't something that actually worked for her.

Although she was planning on having breakfast with Jackie, she had to leave it for another day, as she hurriedly made her way to the door to get to the cafeteria where they always met whenever he had good information.

—Coffee first —Alan rushed her, when Y/n was about to speak before sitting in front of him.

Her eyes rolled at his petition, but she gave in. Her stomach closed just at the idea of getting back to a place that didn't have anything for her, so she just crossed her arms over her chest while she watched her source gulping down the milked coffee and giving huge bites to his donuts.

—Do you only eat when I pay for it or what? —she asked, eyebrows furrowing.

—Funny.

—I know —she ironically smiled—. Can you say what that text was about? I'm on my break, and as much as watching you eat is a show, I have to get back to work, and I'd like not to go back with the uncertainty.

—My source... —he swallowed after chewing only two times— they gave me a location that could have something.

—Last time you said the same, and I ended up in front of a Walmart.

—No —he moved his tongue over his teeth—. I made sure it was a real location. The owner is one big asshole, but they assured me he has high knowledge on what you need to know.

When Y/n looked down at the piece of paper he was handing her, she frowned at the familiarity of the place. She was sure she had seen that address somewhere.

Corner of 14th and Ashland, near the old warehouse district.

—Okay, so —she smiled at him, getting up from the table—. Thank you.

—Wait, where are you going? Aren't you paying for this?

But Y/n smirked to herself, not looking back as she made her way out of the cafeteria to go back to her office.

As she sat back at her desk, Y/n knew the next step was clear: she had to go to that gym. Whatever she uncovered there could finally give her the answers she'd been chasing for so long, and whoever that new person was, she was sure Jungkook would manage to get information out of him in case she wasn't able to.

Although she didn't expect to need Jungkook to get information out of himself.

As soon as she finished the shift, she made her way to that address, double checking the paper, the number and the place to confirm she was in the right place. Of course it was familiar, Alan already gave her that same address after she managed to attend the first boxing party.

Either Alan gave her the wrong location, or his source thought Jungkook would have new information since he's almost every weekend in those boxing parties.

The rhythmic thud of Jungkook's fists hitting the heavy bag echoed through the space, sharp and deliberate. Each punch landed with a deep, muffled whump, the sound of knuckles striking padded leather reverberating off the concrete walls. The chain above the bag rattled lightly with every impact, a metallic clink following each hit as the bag swung back and forth. Between the punches, there was only the soft squeak of his sneakers shifting on the floor, followed by the steady inhale and exhale of his breath, punctuating the otherwise quiet room. The silence seemed to amplify every movement, making each blow feel heavier, more powerful. And despite the silence of his gym, the noise in his head was so loud that he didn't hear Y/n coming in.

Despite knowing him for four months, and seeing him fight once, she had never seen him so focused, so careful on each hit he landed. He seemed like a whole different person.

—Wow, what has that bag done to you? —she interrupted him.

Hearing her voice was like a sudden light being shed among his darkness, dragging him back to reality.

—It has earned a few punches.

—Bad day?

—You have no idea.

Because if she had any idea, she probably would leave him and move out, as far as possible so he wouldn't find her ever again.

—Whose balls do I need to kick? —she walked towards him.

—If you're planning on doing something with someone's balls...

The sentence got stuck in his throat, with a bit of air, when Y/n laid a punch in his stomach, forcing him to bend over a little. He got up shortly after, although his eyes escaped hers as soon.

—Is this because of your mom? —she tried to know, his eyes flying fast on hers.

—Tss, she could only wish I gave a fuck about her. It's... —how was he going to be able to tell her the truth when she looked at him with stars in her eyes?— a fight was canceled last minute. That's it. What are you doing here?

—Oh, hmm —she lifted the piece of paper—. Alan called me this morning, telling me his source had a big fish with a huge mouth, and supposedly he had good information. So, unless it's Jimin, I think I'm back at square one.

—He sent you here?

—Hmm —she nodded, her hum sounding the most disappointed he had ever heard from her—. It's okay, though. I guess we aren't that far.

"We". Jungkook's guts squirmed inside of him when she referred to them as a team.

—So I'm a big fish with a huge mouth? —he asked, trying to distract himself from his own thoughts.

The louder his voice was, the more quiet his mind kept.

—I know you have something big, but that's all I can recall.

—So, am I big? —he walked towards her, unhooking the velcro around his right wrist with his teeth.

—Huge.

—Ouhh —he was satisfied with her answer, walking dangerously towards her.

—Your ego —she stopped him, before his hopes could get any higher.

—My ego, huh? —he threw away his boxing gloves.

—Yup.

—Let me show you how big my ego is, then.

A little scream and a giggle unconsciously left her lips when he first lifted her body, motioning her to wrap her legs around his hips. Her lips tasted bitter, probably because of the coffee she usually drank around that time -and which she probably got on her way to the gym-, yet she also tasted so sweet that the urge to have her installer in his system.

—Thank god you're wearing a dress —he groaned against her lips.

"Thank god" she seconded in her head.

The second kiss was adamant, hungry, both of them knowing exactly what they needed and how they needed it.

Jungkook walked blindly to the small ring that was at the end of the gym -and which was barely used-, to let her sit at the edge. Their hips were still at the same level, allowing them to rub their pelvis together, both of them levitating a bit by the feeling.

—Babe, you drive me so fucking insane.

—I can feel it —she mumbled against his neck.

Her lips moved lower on his jaw, trapping the soft skin in between her teeth to suck in tight, making Jungkook groan when she moved her tongue around the squeezed spot.

He used to hate those marks, he always avoided waking up with a hickey anywhere in his body, but with her he loved them. She could mark him however she wanted, he was going to show off the sign of where he belonged with pride.

She moved her tongue over the reddish spot, moving up to his earlobe to have him squirm and flinching his body.

—Didn't you learn your lesson last night? You don't know what you cause when you do that.

—Honey, I know —she purred against his piercings before finally facing him again—. And that's exactly why I'm doing it.

His tongue dived inside her mouth, just to meet up with hers. Her response was always so immediate, so quick, like she always waited for him, like she always wanted to complement the other half. And that alone made his knees feel like rubber.

—I'd love to sink my mouth in you and taste you, but fuck... Once I go down your pussy, I might need, at least, one hour to fully satisfy myself.

And Y/n knew he meant it. The other night was proof enough for her.

—I'd love to have your tongue on me —she whispered against his lips—, but we both know I need your cock more now.

—Let me get a condom.

Y/n giggled when she saw him run to his office, disappearing behind the door. Although the cuteness was soon replaced by the way her body was burning for Jungkook, her core throbbing just with the glimpses of what was going to happen between them.

It took her a quick movement and her panties were around her wrist, her fingers moved down to her clit before she could be aware of them, with her head falling back over the ropes on her back while her eyes closed.

And Jungkook almost fell to his knees when he came back with that vision. He was convinced Y/n wasn't real, she had to be a product of his imagination.

—Are you going to stare for too long? —she asked, slowly opening her eyes, without stopping his movements, to confirm she was indeed real— Just to change the speed.

—If you move those fingers again, I promise I'll tie you up tonight.

More than a threat, that sounded like the juiciest promise he could think of.

He walked towards her, at the same time he did the knot that kept his sweatpants from falling, before he was back in between her legs. Y/n moved her fingers away from her core, moving them up to Jungkook's lips, which he immediately opened to taste her in her digits. At first, his eyes remained closed, but when he moved up from the middle of her fingers to the tips, he locked eyes with her, at the same time he wrapped his length around the latex.

His tip slicked through her folds, helping him on his plan of teasing her as he tapped over her swollen clit, or just rubbed himself against it, earning more than one warning.

In a matter of minutes, her sweater was rolled up over her chest, just so Jungkook could suck on her nipples as he pounded into her against the ring.

The gasps from exhaustion from twenty minutes back were turned into pleasure ones every time he sank in her, the dry sound of punches turned into the humid sounds of their bodies colliding against one another with each thrust.

Jungkook thrust so hard at some point that she was convinced she was going to fly over the surface, although his digits dented on her flesh to make sure it didn't happen.

She wasn't going away from him, not even a millimeter.

Her moans were more constant, her fingers were holding onto his locks while digging in his scalp, her legs frantically swang with his powerful movements.

—Kook —she warned him, his name leaving as a moan landed directly in his ear as she had her cheek against his.

—I know —he kissed her chin—. I got you, babe.

Six thrusts more and she melted in his arms, with her whine echoing in the emptiness of those four walls, and Jungkook joining her with a smudged groan as he left an open-mouthed kiss on her shoulder.

—Y/n —he called her, gasping for air.

—I know —she nodded, eyes closed as she tried to get some air back.

—No, you don't —he warned her—. I doubt you know how fucking in love I am with you.

The air didn't go past her throat when he said those words. Out of all the things she expected Jungkook to say after having sex with her, a confession wasn't among them.

—W... What?

—You drive me crazy, and not because I'm balls deep in you. You drive me so crazy, really, and I hate it, but at the same time it feels so good —his forehead rested on hers, while his palm caressed her cheek—. You're like the one Wi-Fi connection that actually works in a coffee shop -unexpected, frustrating at times, but I'd totally lose my mind without you. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is... congrats, you've ruined me. And I'm okay with that. Actually, I don't want it to stop. I need it to keep growing until...

She interrupted him before he could go on with that vomit of words that only kept linking one sentence to another that had the same meaning. Y/n was sure that if she didn't stop it, he probably would go on that way for another ten minutes.

—Did you compare me with free wifi?

—You compared me with a discount the other day, so I guess we're set.

Her fingers nervously played with the hairs on his nape, wondering whether she should say what she felt. She liked Jungkook, she was awfully attracted to him, but she wasn't sure to call it love. And if it was love, she certainly wasn't ready to say those words out loud.

Jungkook saw through her hesitation, linking their lips together to ease her mind as she helped her hop down the ring.

—Let's go home —his lips were soft on her temple—. It's your turn to pay for the Chinese.

—Are you sure you don't want to go for a second round?

—Nice try —he pecked her lips—. Put your panties on, and let's go. 

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[tigirl-and-co]

Chapter two is ready! I don't like to start with introductions, since I've always found them to be a little boring, but more importantly I usually hate writing them. BUT I had a pretty clear vision this time around, so I went for it. Hope you guys enjoy it!

Chapter 1

When I Think About Rain

Ch 2. The Beginning

At this point, sneaking through the spacebridge may as well have been a beloved autobot-and-friends hobby instead of the harrowing stealth mission it was supposed to be.

Of course, sneaking through Shockwave's lab was still a frightening experience, especially for a human, but you had volunteered this time anyway. Sparkplug, Spike, Carly, and Chip were all more use helping the Autobots back at base, and you figured that since most of them had made the trip at least once, that it was your turn. You were sneaky. It would be fine.

Not as aware of your surroundings as you could be, though. As you were slowly picking your way to your destination, in awe of the endless mechanical city, you failed to notice the aerial pursuit. Which was on you, considering they were the most eye-catching shades of lime green, highlighter yellow, and play-dough blue you'd ever borne witness to.

As they landed with Cybertron-shaking thuds all around you, you stumbled and fell over. Like an idiot.

The blue one looked annoyed as the green one scooped you up faster than you could get away. Bluey huffed. "Really? This is what Shockwave wanted us to grab? Doesn't seem like a threat to me."

Frightened for your life, you weren't thinking clearly. Apparently, your adrenaline-soaked brain defaulted to 'snarking with the Autobots' mode to give itself more time to process the situation.

"Okay but it still took three of you to catch me, so maybe he just thinks you're incompetent."

Blue and Green looked gobsmacked. Like if a mouse had just told them where they could shove it. Yellow, however, chuckled. It was kind of a pleasant sound, and helped your brain get itself under control.

"Shockwave thinks everyone's incompetent."

If you could be funny enough for long enough, you might have a chance to escape.

Green looked away from you, still held in his palm, to chastise Yellow. "Nova, don't agree with the enemy!" he admonished, inadvertently giving away the name of Mr. Sunshine.

Blue was trying to get a good look at you, his expression still undecided as to whether he thought you were funny or annoying. Yellow- Nova, you knew his name now, was smiling pretty good-naturedly and trying to defend himself. Big Green just looked tired.

Looking between his two trine-mates, he sighed. "Let's just bring it back to Shockwave."

You only managed a little "Do you have to?" before Greenie transformed around you and sped away.

~~~

And that's how you ended up in a glorified birdcage. Apparently you were a valuable bargaining chip or something, which is why Shockwave didn't immediately squash you, dissect you, or use you for target practice.

And while Nova and the blue one seemed really interested in you, Green seemed... apathetic. Bored, almost. Watching him ennui around listlessly like an understimulated zoo animal in a cement box, you could almost feel bad for him.

Y'know. If it weren't for the kidnapping.

While Blue had been openly staring at you like a middle schooler seeing his friend's pet betta fish, Nova seemed more interested in you from a scientific perspective. And trying to seem genial, or at least polite, he finally introduced himself and the rest of his trine.

"I'm Nova Storm, and these are Ion Storm," he gestured to Bluey, "and Acid Storm!" and he glanced back at Big Green, who was lounging disinterestedly on what was probably the giant evil alien robot equivalent of a couch, considering it was in front of some sort of screen.

Acid Storm tilted his head back to look at you and the mechs. "You don't have to introduce us. It's probably not gonna live long enough to care."

You wrinkled your nose at that, and tried to keep anxiety from clawing at you. "Hey man, he's just being polite! Not that you'd know anything about that."

Ion Storm snorted at that and jeered at his trine-mate. "Yeah, Acid! What's the deal with kidnapping a poor, defenseless little organic like that? You didn't even ask it its name!" He leaned in close to your cage and whispered "Hey. What's your name?"

When you told him, he gave you kind of a side-eye and muttered something about organics under his breath.

While he kept riling up his unamused trine leader, Nova Storm took the opportunity to start asking you questions about your homeworld and your species. After all, who knew when he was gonna get another chance to ask a native?

"What's the atmosphere made of?" Mostly oxygen, with some CO2. "What do humans eat?" Mostly organic material. "So do you eat each other?" No, that's usually considered pretty horrific, with exceptions across cultures. "So humans aren't a monolithic culture?" Good God, no. We've had more wars than you about way smaller differences. "Why don't your wars last as long?" Dunno, guess because we don't live as long?

You didn't notice the other two moving closer.

"How long do humans live?" Nintey-ish years, I think. "How long is a year?" Twelve months. "And a month?" About thirty days, give or take. "...And a day?" Twenty-four hours, and since I know you're gonna ask, an hour is sixty minutes, and a minute is twenty astro-seconds, and that is the only Cybertronian measure of time I know. Otherwise I would have saved us a lot of time.

Nova looked... fraught. Almost upset.

"If my math is right... that's just barely over a vorn."

Acid had apparently decided this was more interesting than staring at a blank screen and getting mocked by Ion Storm.

He looked at you in quiet disbelief.

"That's kind of... sad. I'm sorry."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. He had kidnapped you, prevented you from saving your friends' lives, said out loud that you probably didn't have much longer to live, and now he had the gall to be sorry because biology said you had a finite lifespan?

"Motherfucker, if you were sorry, you'd let me out of this goddamn cage!"

Ah. You hadn't meant to be so aggressive. You let both fear and anger eat at you, and now you were probably going to die for it. Good job.

But when you took a chance and looked at him, he didn't seem angry. His face was furrowed, like he was thinking hard. Seeing Ion and Nova both staring at him with a small amount of concern, you added that together with his melancholic behaviour, and you sort of wondered when the last time he actually got to lead his trine was. Was it before the Cybertronians crashed on earth? More than four million years ago? You couldn't wrap your head around-

"Convince me."

You blinked up at Acid Storm. "Huh?"

Ion Storm leaned in and poked you, gently but still hard enough to push you back. "You heard him, fleshy." He grinned. "Impress Acid Storm and you go free."

It felt too good to be true, and it probably was. But you had to take the chance. "Okay first, you know my name, Ion. Second, the hell do you want me to do? I could, like, badly recite the plot of a movie or something, maybe tell you about what I've got waiting at home for me."

Nova looked a bit intrigued at that one, but Ion did not. "Boring, try again."

Okay. Great. Your life is on the line and you're too stupid to save it. "I, um-" Stifling under the gaze of three giant guys who were NOT concerned about your inevitable demise twenty minutes ago, you rummaged around in your pockets. You had a dollar bill and some loose change, and you pulled it out and showed it off.

"I have one dollar and thirty-nine cents. Final offer."

All three of them leaned in to see your strange, alien money.

Nova spoke up first. "Is that... a lot?"

You could've lied. You could've told them you were rich beyond measure.

"Oh, absolutely not. It's enough for like, one candy bar. One of the shitty ones."

But you didn't.

Ion storm chuckled a little bit, but before he could open his mouth to speak, Acid started howling with laughter, nearly doubling over. Pretty soon the other two joined in, and you yourself couldn't help the grin on your face.

Once he had himself under control, Acid unlocked the cage. "You've got a deal. Your life for the price of one shitty candy bar."

You went to set your money on the floor of the cage before you had a terrible idea. Just a real dogshit idea. Maybe even the worst idea you'd ever had. You pulled out a sharpie from a pocket and wrote your phone number down on the dollar.

You stepped onto Acid's outstretched hand and he lowered you to the floor. As you started booking it across the room, you turned and flashed the global signal for 'call me,' knowing they probably didn't know what it meant.

Once you were out of sight, hidden behind some random Cybertronian junk, you remembered a question you had wanted to ask back when Nova had first introduced everybody.

"Hey, are you guys theme-named coincidentally, or did you change your names when you joined up?"

You heard Acid Storm's quiet groan.

"Primusdammit, just go!"

[vensuciitrus]

Mouth washing friendship bracelets - all Characters available! Handmade and sold by me (Carlie’s inferno)

-

I couldn’t help but fall in love with the game, I’ll def be posting art on here of them 😼🫵🏼

[inkblackorchid]

WIP Snippet 5 (Ch. 3)

Pulling the door open, Aki stuck her head out, looking both ways in the relatively narrow alley outside. When her eyes surveyed what little she could see of the plaza from her position, it turned out the engine she heard was indeed a familiar one. Yet, nothing could have prepared her for a chance encounter with its rider today.

Almost in the same moment as Aki finally left the building to approach her own runner, the unexpected acquaintance seemed to spot her, immediately making a beeline in her direction.

A white riding suit, a knight-like helmet, and the distinct rumble of what Yusei had once called a bastardised French engine—seeing as it had apparently been repaired with parts from several different countries over time—announced the arrival of Sherry, who came to a halt barely a metre away from Aki's runner, immediately pulling off her helmet as she turned off her engine.

"Finally, I catch one of you again," Sherry began talking without fanfare, evidently not intending to bother with a greeting.

Debating whether she even had the energy to hold a conversation with the other right now, with how high-strung she already was, Aki spoke on a sigh, "Sherry. Fancy meeting you here."

"Uhhhh, hi there?" Carly, who had closed and locked the door behind herself in between, said to the blonde, waving innocently.

Ignoring her completely, Sherry asked Aki, "Are Yusei and your other friends inside?"

"No," Aki told her quickly, "We're the only ones here, and we're not staying. We need to get going again." Perhaps her tone was a little more brusque than intended, but if there was one thing she knew about Sherry, then that she liked clear answers, that she liked them fast, and that she could get irritating if she didn't get them fast enough.

As she placed her duel disk down on her runner again, she saw Sherry looking her up and down out of the corner of her eye. "When will any of you be back?"

"We don't know," Aki told her, hoping to end the conversation as quickly as possible—and preferably without sharing the exact details of everything that was going on right now.

"Quoi? What do you mean, 'you don't know'?" Sherry asked, with an urgency in her voice that told Aki she probably wanted something from their group.

It was Carly who answered, "Well ummm... We kind of have a situation going on right now. So the boys won't be home for a while. And neither will Aki."

Now seemingly choosing to take note of the other woman's presence, Sherry looked Carly over with critical eyes. "I've seen you around here before. Who are you?" With her tone as curt and business-like as always, Sherry's question sounded less like a polite enquiry and more like a demand at a cross-examination.

Carly blinked a few times, but rather than bristling immediately, she caught herself and even managed to inject some fake cheer into her voice as she said, "Carly Nagisa, reporter at the Red-Eyes duel magazine. Nice to meet you. Properly, I mean. Sherry Leblanc, right? We've technically met before, I'm here frequently. Which you... may not have noticed, I guess."

Sherry acknowledged the introduction with barely more than a hum. Before she could ask anything further, however, Aki turned to face her fully and took it upon herself to add, "Carly is our friend and Jack's girlfriend. And she knows basically all about Iliaster, since I'm guessing that's a concern for you."

Though Sherry's eyes briefly jumped to her, with a strange mix of sharpness and curiosity in them, they were quick to come to rest on Carly again as she asked, "Atlas has a girlfriend? Wonders never cease."

[bfiaflbox]

So this is how it starts - Chapter 1

Pairing: Matty x original female character Warnings: drinking, smoking, swearing; mentions of: misoginy, cancer (in the past), infertility Disclaimer: some of what the ofc is experiencing is rooted in my lived reality, however I lie for plot purposes a lot. I draw inspiration from things that I read somewhere or that actually happened to me or my friends. It's not proof read and English is my second language so there's either too many commas or not enough commas.

The line connects.

"Hey, are you still at the restaurant?"

"Yes, we just ordered. Is your date already over??" Carly is on the other line.

I let out a breath "yes..." I'm a tad annoyed.

"That bad?"

"Worse"

"Come over, I'll text you the address, then you can have a few drinks with me and the boys and tell the whole story"

"Fuck, are the boys there as well? I really don't want to ruin your guys' night with my moping"

"you're not allowed to mope, just recount the story of your horrible date in great detail, maybe someone will offer to break his legs or something and we'll all laugh about it. Ross' girl and Charlie are here as well. I'm sure nobody will mind, right?" Carly raises her voice a bit as to ask her company rather than me and adds "See, no objections."

We hang up, my phone chimes with the address of a restaurant in Soho and I'm on my way. Great, now I have time to overthink. Until a few minutes ago I was under the impression that Carly was offering me to crash the end of her date night with Adam. The thought of having to socialize with a whole group of people makes me slightly nervous.

When I arrive I spot the group at the back of the restaurant. The fact that there's an empty chair right next to Carly reserved for me doesn't go unnoticed and I make my way over there.

"Hi everybodyyyyyyy, I'm Hannah" I awkwardly greet the group. I don't know why I find it awkward. Sure, I'm friends with Carly (and Adam for that matter), I have met the rest of them at some point or another, and on the few occasions I met Adam's bandmates they've been nothing but nice and welcoming. I'm greeted with a round of smiley hello's, Carly is the only one who gets up to hug me and I'm grateful for that. I can really use the hug but I'm happy the rest stay seated and don't make a massive commotion. I plop down on the chair next to me and let out a breath. What a fucking nightmare of an evening.

It doesn't take long for a waitress to arrive. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Yes, I don't know..." I'm momentarily overwhelmed and kind of tired. I look around at what the others are having and just choose the first thing I see "I'll have a glass of wine just like that one, thanks". The waitress nods and leaves.

"Ah, the Malbec, good choice" the man I know to be Matty comments. I laugh and shrug. I have met him a few times, once at Carly and Adam's wedding, a few times when I was visiting baby Hann but I never really had a full conversation with him. I know he's fun, I know he's a bit weird in a good way, I know he's been to rehab and I know he travels a lot.

"I know shit all about wine so I hope you don't let me down!" I jokingly reply before Carly interrupts.

"So tell me everything. Why is this date over after just an hour?"

"Urghh I had to leave before the main course arrived because that guy was being outright rude and disrespectful. I'm never doing online dating ever again! He seemed so nice in his profile but the real him was a total let-down. I mean, at the beginning the conversation was okay-ish, first date-ish, smalltalk, you know? But then after we ordered our food he asked me: 'so how many kids do you want to have?'" I try to imitate a typical gym-bro while saying that "Like, not *if* I want to have children, no, he asks *how many* as if it's out of the question that I want to have kids. Well, I then told him that I can't have kids because of the whole cancer situation and do you know what he says???" anger is rising in my chest and I'm probably talking too loud but I don't care. "He just asks me 'Well then why are you dating men?' and I'm just sitting there like..." I'm temporarily out of words.

"Oh wow, are you serious? What an absolute asshole!" it's the reaction I expected from Carly but to my surprise it's Matty who chimes in.

"Right?!?" I reply.

"As if the only reason to seek human connection is to reproduce." he scoffs

"EXACTLY?! He then continued to tell me that he's a 'high value man' - whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean- and that he has to spread his DNA or some bullshit and that if I don't plan on having kids I shouldn't try to snatch a fertile man off the market or some shit. The whole experience was uncomfortable, misogynistic and probably homophobic"

"Fucking hell, I'm sorry you had to go through that" I just look at him and bam, I'm in love. Wait, no, I'm not in love with Matty, I'm just impressed by his emotional intelligence that I'm not used to in men. At least that's what I tell myself.

The waiter appears with my glass of red wine and I take a huge gulp. I don't really want to process what's happening right now.

"Yeah, dating in your 30ies isn't fun. I'm probably gonna die alone. And I'd actually hugely prefer dying alone to spending my time with an idiot like that." I continue. That earns me a light chuckle from Matty and a stern "you're not going to die alone! I won't let you!" from Carly.

The wine in combination with no dinner goes straight into my bloodstream and takes some of the anger and agitation away. I'm calming down and I find myself enjoying the company. The conversations flow easily.

"Right, smoke break. Anyone?" Matty asks the group around the table.

"I'm still good, mate, nobody can smoke as much as you" George laughs and nobody seems in the mood for a cigarette.

He gets up and I suddenly decide that I do indeed need a smoke break. Do I smoke? no. Do I want to stand in the slightly chilly evening air and watch a handsome stranger give himself lung cancer? absolutely yes.

"I'll join you!" I grab my coat and follow him out of the restaurant.

In front of the restaurant he fishes a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his coat pocket. He takes one out and goes on to offer me one. I wave my hand in decline and add "thanks, I don't actually smoke". He looks at me confused, almost offended and then just chuckles.

He lights the cigarette "why did you join me for a smoke if you don't actually smoke?"

"I just felt like I needed some fresh air"

"If you want some time alone with me, you could just ask me on a date, you know?"

"haha, very funny" I retort

"I think it's kind of cool that you came here, and that you're angry at that twat and not yourself"

"What d'you mean by that?" is what I say and internally I'm like what a weird fucking thing to say.

"I don't know how to explain that but often people go on a shitty date and afterwards think there's something wrong with *them* and not with the other person who was being a dick. It's kind of cool that you're kind of pissed at that asshole and not drowning in self pity"

"Rrrright. Thanks, I guess?" I laugh and he starts laughing as well.

"Sorry I sometimes have thoughts that make total sense in my head and when I try to say them out loud I sound like a total loser."

"Don't worry, I get it!"

We stand in silence for a few moments after that. I enjoy the fresh air which just emphasizes the buzz from the wine. I feel warm in my coat and relaxed.

"So what's the cancer situation?" he asks

"'xcuse me, the what?" I'm a bit confused

"You said earlier that you were unable to have kids because of 'the cancer situation'" he makes air quotes with the cigarette between his fingers and I can't help but find that really cool. "but I just realized it's not really any of my business, I'm just curious, you obviously don't have to tell me"

"Oh... Oh yeah, I had ovarian cancer when I was 14, they had to take everything out. Turns out that I have a gene mutation thing that had me at a very high risk of getting breast cancer, so I got a preventative boob job out of that as well"

He looks at me for a few seconds and then just drily says "Oh fuck!"

That's a new reaction, it's refreshing. Usually the reaction I get from people is pity, which I hate because I don't really mind my situation. I'm fine. I‘m healthy, I have a good job, great friends, fun hobbies and most importantly: I'm alive!

I'm a bit tipsy, my mood has significantly improved and so I add "I mean I'm happy the doctors were brave enough to do all that because as I learned today I have a lot less value as a woman if I can't produce babies" I roll my eyes and chuckle. He smiles but apparently doesn't find me particularly funny in this moment.

"I hope you don't really believe that"

"Of course I don't actually believe that. I was trying to make a joke. But I guess I don't have to tell you about jokes that don't land, Mr. Meta"

"Mr. Meta, oooooh I like that nickname, please never use it again" he laughes and infectious.

I love this. I find myself craving... him. I wonder how warm his hugs feel but before I can get lost in that train of thought he stubs out his cigarette and holds the door open for me.

The rest of the evening is spent getting to know everybody a bit better, getting even tipsier and hearing funny stories from the band's latest leg of the tour. After the bill is paid and everybody makes their way out of the restaurant the group gathers on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant to say their goodbyes. I hug Carly and Adam, enthusiastically wave to the rest. Before I have a chance to turn around and be on my marry way, Matty asks "Which way are you going?"

"Just down the street to the tube station"

"Mind if I walk with you? I'm headed roughly in the same direction"

He seems like a guy who has the funds to take a cab but I guess he's a grown man who can make his own decisions, so I just say "sure" and can't help but smile.

We say goodbye to the group and head towards the tube station.

Chapter 2

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Code Blue Ch. 36- Time in a Bottle

Summary: Josie gets new wheels and an unexpected visitor. Her stress catches up with her. Megan sets her off and blurts out something shocking. Lee and Jo go for a ride. The outing doesn't go as planned. Josie finds something heartfelt. Lee comes clean. So does Jo.

*Warnings* Language, angst, domestic dispute, anxiety attack, graphic depictions, drug mentions, roofie rape mentions

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Josie, Luke, Megan, Lee,

Salem, Massachusetts

March 8, 2023

You pulled around to the back of your mom's house where the old barn sized brick garage was that Jason used to run a small motorcycle repair shop out of years ago. It now only consisted of a small art studio you created for your hobby, the lawnmower and the storage of three bikes. One was Jason's Harley and two were yours, an actual bicycle that used to be your grandmother's and could definitely pass for Almira Gulch's bike in the Wizard of Oz, and the other was the bike Jason got you and taught you to ride, a much smaller 1978 Yamaha DT 125, and that would be your go to for awhile now while you stored your Monte Carlo in the garage, out of sight, hopefully out of mind from the bar thugs that Luke pissed off and would be looking for it. How were you going to explain this one to Lee when you show up at this place on a motorcycle that he didn't even knew you owned, let alone could ride?

You leaned on the Harley's seat for awhile, thinking of Jason and how you used to ride it with him. He never wore a helmet but always made you wear one. You loved the thrill of the ride, the speed, the freedom you felt with the wind blowing through your hair, so much so that you had begged Jason to teach you to ride, but of course not with his bike. You could barely hold the monstrous beast up, so that's when Jason purchased the smaller one for you. Little but fierce, the two wheeled dirt bike was, reaching a max speed of 70 mph...and your plan was to get Lee on it with you, for it was his turn to go to one of your safe haven's you had once told him about. It was there you also planned to get the truth out of him.

Your thoughts went back to Jason while you brought your bike out, wondering what he was doing right now as you locked the garage back up. The only way you could get ahold of him was through Craig, which you refused to do, or there was Sonny, where you knew Jason was hiding out, but if you were seen going there, it might raise some red flags, for it was no secret you didn't like the mob boss or his bitch of a wife, Carly, who happened to be Jason's bff just as Sonny was and both always seemed to come first in his life. The blonde entitled vixen was someone you and Britt both would rather not be around. It was too odd of a situation considering Jason used to screw her before she married Sonny.

You propped the bike on it's kickstand in front of the garage and went inside, practically being ran over by one of your mom's dogs.

"Damn it Tater!! Get back here!" you shouted to the stocky jailbreaking tan colored mixed breed of NO CLUE. He was your mom's dog and the other, Marmaduke, was your dad's Great Dane who was always lounging on the couch like he owned the place. The dwarf sized horse pretty much did.

"Mom?? You here?? Tater took off!" You hollered up the stairs and then went in the kitchen when she didn't answer. The damn smell of Megan's cigarette smoke freshly lingered through the house and you could see the film of it in the rays of sunlight shining in from the window, which you then opened and turned on the stove's exhaust fan. Ballsy bitch is all you could call her, knowing if you smelled it, your mom certainly would and so did the poor dogs. No wonder Tater was itching to be free, besides the fact he despised Megan.

The answering machine was beeping, so you played it as you made a mountainous ham sandwich with mayo, lettuce, onion. pickle and cheese.

Knowing your mom wasn't home due to looking out the window and not seeing her car in the driveway, you let out a shrill scream after hearing the realtor's message about the closing sale of the Haunted Star which is probably where she went.

You sat down at the table, aggressively cutting your manly sandwich in two and then....

"Fuck!" You snapped, slamming the knife down. The thought of Orlando's sleezeball father owning and running Jason's boat, probably with Ethan at his side, had you seeing red. And it never would have happened if Jason hadn't fake his death, or more so hadn't changed his will. Of course, if he hadn't put the boat in someone's name, it would have gotten tied up in the state. Another mess that wasn't needed. But your mom, she didn't have to sell it!

Fuming, you shoved the sandwich into your mouth, chewing through heavy breaths with your cheeks looking like a chipmunk stuffed with nuts until your phone beeped, then you heard a motorcycle in the driveway.

"I have your dog."

With your eyes wide, you quickly chewed your food until you could swallow it without choking to death and then ran to the back door to see Luke sitting on your bike with Tater proud and grinning at his feet.

"You....followed me??!!"

"Well, technically no. I'm out for the day to house and job hunt, but...I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and make sure you got to where you were going safe and sound."

"So technically, you did follow me."

"Look, I meant no harm. I'm not some stalker, just looking out for you is all AND I found your dog in the process. He was running in the street, trying to bite my tires."

"And just how did you know it's our dog?? He could live down the street."

"But he doesn't. Tag on the collar says so."

"Oh..." you quietly replied, feeling like a complete dumbass as he grinned at you. To deflect from your humiliation, you stepped around the corner to view his ride.

"So you ride huh? Nice bike. Triumph speed 400?"

Luke smiled pretty big. "Ahhh, you know your bikes. I like yours too. Yamaha DT 125." he said as he got up and stroked the handle bars, then smirked. "I like a woman that likes to ride. Wanna take mine for a a spin? Unless it's too big for you to handle?"

You offered a slight glare and shake of your head, hearing the double meaning in his tone.

"I'm quite happy with the one I have. It's the perfect size for me." you flatly retorted, hoping he would get your own double meaning of...you have a well equipped boyfriend.

He did, but didn't care. "Hmmm, to each their own. I do like the feel of driving a smaller one beneath me. Maybe I could drive yours someday. I'd sure like to."

"You're something else, you know that?" you said, rolling your eyes. "I really need to go now and so can you. Thanks for the looking out that I didn't ask for and don't need. Come on Tater."

You turned and let the dog in and then went to go in too until his words ceased your steps.

"I'm sorry...this isn't really me. I...I'm just so used to being a certain way with people. Not many friends, remember?"

"You mean you're used to being an egotistical arrogant asshole. I can see why you don't have many friends."

"Ouch. Guess I deserved that."

"Maybe. Look, I don't enjoy being mean to people...I'm just...guarded and I..I guess that's my way of protecting myself and I'm super good at reading people too. I can see this is your own defense mechanism, your way of showing people no one can touch you, keeping people at a safe distance with your humor...and that's exactly what you're getting from it. Distance. And I get why you're like this, I do. Landy is somewhat the same way, minus the sexual innuendos. But I trust him. He earned it. I really don't know how to trust you because the real you I have yet to see, and I...I thought that I had...but Landy says THIS is the real you...so you tell me Luke...which is it??? Because I am sick to death of being toyed with by everyone I thought I could trust!"

You could feel your chest tightening again, but something felt different this time and Luke's words began to fade as he went on.

"You say you get why I am like this...well it's not all because of my dad if that's what you're referring to. I've been fucked over too Josie, christ, who hasn't right? And.....Josie??"

The next thing you knew, Luke was carrying you into the kitchen and sitting you down, then he was ripping off paper towels from the holder.

"Here, hold still, put your head back."

"Wh..wha...why? What's..."

"You have a bloody nose and you almost collapsed. I think you're just overly stressed." he explained calmly as he held a wad of the paper towels under your nose and pinched the bridge with his fingers. "Has this ever happened before??"

"I...no...I mean well, yes, but it's been a long time...I..."

Now you were beginning to panic, clutching onto his coat with one hand and his wrist with the other as you gasped for breath through your mouth.

"Hey there, come on, look at me, you're ok, you're ok, it's just a little blood and it's stopping." Luke softly said with a cool composure and soothing tranquility, once again, knowing just what to do in an urgent situation.

You did as he said and looked into his hushing hazel green eyes as he demonstrated breathing in and out of his mouth in long relaxing breaths for you to follow.

"That's it. In and out, nice and slow."

"Really??"

His eyes grew wide as his breaths became still.

"Oh..NO no no..I swear I didn't mean..."

Your bellowing laughter halted his words, turning him a rose shade of red when he realized he had just been bamboozled.

"Good one Josephine."

Luke hopped up with a grin and moistened a clean wash cloth, then sat back down and began cleaning the blood off of you.

"Point made. If I want to be taken seriously and trusted, then I need to stop being fake. That's as real as I can be right now." he said in all seriousness as he dabbed tenderly at your skin.

It couldn't have been a worse time for your trolloping sister to come home, freezing in her tracks as she caught sight of Luke all hands on with you.

"Well well, who do we have here sister? Do tell cause he certainly don't look like Dr. Dreamy tending to your bodily fluids." she quipped as she took out cold pizza from the fridge, plopped down with her feet up on the table and began eating while basically undressing Luke with her eyes.

"Ughhh, go AWAY! I'm in no mood for you!" you snapped and knocked her feet off the table, in which she put right back up.

"I'm Megan, since my sister is so rude."

"I know who you are." Luke abruptly said inn a not so nice manner.

"Wowza, the rudeness is contagious today. And you are??"

"You know the guy you're fucking this month? I'm his brother...Luke."

Megan's brows instantly furrowed as she stopped chewing.

You smugly grinned at his immediate dislike of her and his snarky remark.

"I seee...well, you could always join us. I'm completely open to that." she retorted with a little smirk.

"Megan, you would be open to anything up to and including a horse's cock." you raved with great satisfaction.

She tossed her pizza in the box and sat forward with a taunting smile.

"I hear Lee likes cock too."

If blood could be heard boiling, it would be yours. All was silent as you reciprocated her glare and then, you flung your chair out behind you and lunged at her with a scream as Luke caught you in mid air, which sent Megan's chair flying backwards and her onto her ass in panic.

"Let me go Luke!!!" you shouted as you ferociously wriggled in his firm grip of locked arms around your waist.

"Sorry love, can't do that. She's not worth it."

"Oh YES SHE IS!!"

Megan stood up in a fury and shouted back something that completely floored you.

"Did you know your perfect ass boyfriend was in love with Ethan and they got married???!!! How's that for being open??!"

"Get out of here now!!" Luke barked, furiously pointing to the doorway while gripping you tightly with one arm. "Or I'll let her go!"

"With pleasure!"

Megan stormed up the stairs and slammed her door as you stood frozen and wide eyed with tears balancing on the rims of your lower lids. Luke cautiously released you and you went back to the table and slowly sat down in tremendous shock.

"Is...is it...true?" you asked Luke with a jittery voice while you peered up at him, tears now falling as you began to visibly tremble.

"Josie...I..."

"Did you know??!" you raged as you closed your eyes, gripping the seat of your chair with white knuckles.

"It's not my business."

You flung back up, mad as hell. "Bullshit!! You make everything your business. You know my entire life so don't fucking tell me your own brother and friend's life was unknown to you."

"Josie...did you seriously think I would just tell you that? It wasn't my place to tell first of all and..."

"And what?? You KNEW the trouble Lee and I were having over Ethan. You KNEW Luke, that I was begging him for answers that he was refusing to give me, that I DESERVED to know. I should have heard it from him and instead, I hear it from my cunt sister of all people...I...I...I seriously can't take anymore."

"Josie...your reaction right now is probably why Lee was afraid to tell you."

"Are you seriously defending him??? My reaction right now is because of how I found out. Lee had every fucking chance to tell me and if he would have, I...I would have understood, we could have worked through it...but the fact is....he didn't tell me. I get it, I get it that he was afraid, but I think it's a hell of a lot more than that and you know why?? because Megan just said it! He was in love with him! Is that a lie Luke???"

"Josie...I won't do this. You will have to ask him. I'm sorry."

"You know what? Just go."

"I don't think I should leave you like this and alone with Megan. I want to help you but I just can't.."

"GO LUKE!" you cried and whipped the door open.

He began to walk out and stopped as he reached you. His hand came softly to your cheek as he spoke sympathetically.

"I really am sorry. If you need me...I will be here. This...is the real me."

You whimpered as you stepped back from his touch without looking at him. Luke's eyes fell and he then slowly walked out.

Down the wall you slid, dropping to your butt and drawing your knees to your chest, then bawling into them.

After a good five minutes of hyperventilating, you found your phone and with hands shaking something awful, you texted Lee.

"I'm picking you up. Be outside your lake house at 3 and wear hiking attire. It's now or never Lee."

You needed to leave before your mom got back so she wouldn't see you this way and Lee's lake house was not far from your apartment. You sent her a text about your car being there, then you fired up your bike and took off to stop at your apartment for a long much needed hot shower since you had a few hours to spare.

You parked the bike at the curb, then literally hauled ass up the stairs and jogged down the hall to your apartment so you wouldn't run into Craig, for you knew you would just blow up at him if you did.

Now that you were alone with the steaming water pouring over your head, you couldn't help but to break down again, crying for the entire twenty minute shower.

It was the first shower you had taken at your new place, a shower that you and Lee planned to share together and you began to imagine him there with you but it kept turning into him with Ethan, telling him he loved him. It took everything in you not to just scream at the top of your lungs, but you didn't need Craig huffing and puffing and blowing your house down. Instead, you sucked all your anger down, then got out and dressed to ride, then saw his reply.

"Ok. I cannot wait to see you sweet girl."

Although you were running on fumes from lack of good quality sleep, you were completely wired as the cool pre-spring air, smelling of the nearby bay, powered over your face at 50 mph as you cruised through the twists and turns of the country-like, forest filled area. And soon, Lee would have the intoxicating experience as well, whether he liked it or not.

As you gracefully made the last curve before his lake house, you took in many deep breaths to try and relax the damn butterflies in your stomach that were both nervous and excited to see him, and the anger that resided in your soul.

There he was, as you pulled up, sitting on a stone bench by the side entrance at the top of his drop down driveway, looking lost in thought. Those thoughts were soon stolen by the shocking sight of you on a motorcycle as you climbed off and kicked the stand down with your biker style black boots. Needless to say, his face was priceless as his eyes studied you from head to toe.

"You...you ride??" Lee asked as he remained seated, looking your two wheeler over in astonishment. He really wanted to go and scoop you up into his arms because he had missed you immensely and also because you looked sexy as hell in your biker gear, but something about your demeanor and your text told him he had better keep his distance. He figured you were still angry about yesterday and the way he bailed after the heated kiss you initiated. Actually, he knew your anger would be more over the fact that he had indirectly and wrongfully accused you of messing around with your landlord, which he had instantly regretted after he left. If he only knew how wrong he was as to where your anger stemmed from....and he was about to very soon.

"It would appear so huh?"

Yep, your tone confirmed it. You were pissed.

"Yeah. I just never knew. You never told me."

"It seems there's a lot we don't know about each other."

His head lowered, eyes on his hands as as he fidgeted with his thumb.

"You're still angry with me."

"You ready?" you flatly asked, ignoring his statement.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there."

Your words were simple and brief, but made their point.

"Ok...I umm... I have something inside I'd like to give you. I was going to give it to you yesterday but..."

You cut him short as he stood up to catch the helmet you whizzed at him, in which he caught gracefully in one hand.

"The only thing I want from you is the truth. As I said, it's now or never."

Although Lee was now becoming frustrated, he was more so worried because this was it. Judgement day. He knew he had to come clean or lose you for good, which he knew he still could either way.

He put the helmet on and sat on the bike behind you, which he basically just walked right over the back end to do, being the beautiful giant he was.

"Can...can I put my arm...around you?"

"Suit yourself."

As you fired up the bike, he slid his right arm around your waist, making you both pause for a moment at the feel of each other's touch. For you, the butterflies invaded your chest and attacked your heart as one seemed to remain underneath his hand. For Lee, he almost cried.

You turned on your 80's walkman radio that you had hooked on your belt and rode off. Lee cringed at the song that came on. Another sign of what was to come is the way he now looked at things, all thanks to you. Judgement Day by Five Finger Death Punch. Aside from the ominous coincidence, the sound of the music was kick ass to ride to.

The speedy ride went on for about two miles, the wind blowing your jasmine scented hair into Lee's face as he closed his eyes and desperately inhaled you. He was quite impressed at how you handled the bike and the damp road. You were just as good at that as you were on the ice. Each curve you hugged forced Lee closer against you, driving the undeniable chemistry between you both to an all time high as he now had both of his hands clasped over your stomach, nice and snug. To you, you wondered if he was a bit afraid, having never ridden with you before or ever even rode a bike at all for all you knew, but you also figured that if he had any reservations about it, he wouldn't have hopped right on. To him, he gripped you so tightly for three reasons. To feel you and be close to you along with his instinct and desire to protect you. If for any reason the bike would go down, he would never let you go.

You veered off onto a secluded gravel drive that ran along an inlet of the bay and parked. Lee reluctantly let go of you and stood up, taking his helmet off as did you and then you walked off.

"This way."

Lee followed you through the multitude of trees down a narrow dirt path to where he stopped to view the lake that was visible in the nearby distance.

"I take it you know this place?" he asked as you stepped up onto a large rock and leaned against a tree.

"It's one of my safe havens I told you about, that I told you I would bring you to one day."

His head turned to you, his eyes filled with happiness that you trusted him enough to bring him to your special place.

"The one you and Jason came to?"

'Well, not this part. I found this area all on my own. The one I went to Jason with can be seen from the lookout deck just down the way. There's an old out of order train viaduct in the woods that runs over the river. I was always afraid to go up there because of the height. The drop is tremendous down to the rapid waters and I can't swim if you recall, but Jason always held on to me, assuring me the breath taking view would outweigh my fears and over time, he was right, I got used to it and now I can go by myself."

"I see." he smiled and then gazed at you. "Well, this place really beautiful and I am sure that one is too. I see what you mean. I told you someday if you let me, I will teach you to swim and over time, it will be like riding a bike..or ice skating. So uh, what's the story with the bike anyways? Where's your car?"

"At mom's, where the bike was stored. Jason got it for me. He taught me to ride and I...I haven't touched it since...he died."

Ugh, you wanted to tell him so bad that Jason was alive. Secrets were what got you both here in the first place. The past 24 hours held so many things Lee didn't know and you decided you better start somewhere before he found out another way just like you did about him and Ethan, so you kind of just blurted it out in a nutshell.

"I have to keep my car hidden from these bar thugs that are after Luke Jr. because he kicked their asses last night and then got in my car and they chased us."

"I'm sorry, what??"

"I...saw Orlando go into the pub and so I went in to see how he was doing since he has been sort of off the grid lately...and then he...saw his dad and took off after him. I followed him, because he had been drinking a lot and well, you know how he gets. It was a good thing that I did because he was carrying a hammer in his pocket and he confronted his dad. He was going to attack him, actually he tried to but I was able to confiscate the hammer and talk him down."

Lee stared at you for a moment, then he dropped them to the ground.

"Jesus." he whispered, lightly shaking his head.

"Is..is he alright? Are you alright?? What did his dad do?"

"He said some pretty awful things to Orlando and to me too and then he took off. Lee, my mom sold the Haunted Star...and Luke Sr. is the one who bought it. I found that out right after I saw you when I talked to my mom. He raved about it to my face, rubbing the salt in my wounds because he knew it was Jason's boat. He's going to ruin it, turn it back into a crime filled gambling ring, I just know it. And I'm sure Ethan will be right beside him."

"God, Jo, I'm so sorry. I know how much that boat meant to you with it belonging to your family....and I...so...how did Orlando's brother come into all of this?"

"Well, I went to take Orlando home and shortly after we got in my car, Luke came out of nowhere said we needed to go and insisted he drive and..."

"So you just let him drive your car that you let no one drive but you?"

"I let you drive it...and well, yeah, I had a few beers myself and honestly, it was for the best because apparently Luke had followed his dad to the bar to handle him after Landy's encounter with him and things turned ugly with these guys and then they came speeding after him which then turned into them chasing us until Luke was able to lose them. But now they know my car."

"My god Jo, you...you didn't think to call me?? I would have been right there. Orlando's my best friend and you're my....."

Lee paused and then walked off, making his way down to the inlet's lookout, a small wooden deck big enough for maybe three people, perched up on a sizeable rock embankment overlooking the water.

You sighed and then followed him, knowing you still had to tell him the about the aftermath at Orlando's place which made you feel nauseated. As he said, Orlando was his best friend so he deserved to know.

Lee briefly leaned on the metal railing and then turned to you when he heard you step up behind him.

"I'm sorry. It was late and raining and Luke was handling things just fine, well, for the time being anyways."

"What do you mean...anyways? Jo...what happened?"

"Honestly, I don't really know. I mean, we went back to Landy's and..."

"It's Landy now eh?"

"Lee, don't. Do you want to hear this or not?"

"K. Go ahead."

"Orlando..." you emphasized. "And I were in the kitchen talking. He was telling me some stuff about Luke and Luke heard some of it, which he didn't like and things got heated between them, like, Luke, he just snapped. They fought and then Luke put him in this choke hold and wouldn't let go. I ended up hitting him on the head something, which, he is fine by the way, but...I had to do it. But, even so, Orlando wasn't fine. He ended up collapsing and wasn't breathing and..."

"Jesus Christ! Is he alright????!"

"Yes, yes, Lee, he is ok now. Luke and I...we um...we performed CPR and had him breathing within roughly a minute...."

"You didn't think to call 911?? Fuck, what the fuck is wrong with Luke??"

"I was going to call but I couldn't find my phone and Luke said Landy would be dead before they got there, which he was right considering he wasn't breathing. He would have called if we couldn't get him back Lee."

"Wow, well Luke sure seems to know just what to do. An asshole and hero all in one night. I'm a doctor Jo, remember?? You still should have called them because they could have been on their way if you couldn't revive him, not to mention they could have shocked his heart. I could have tried to help as well. Do you think I would have cared what time it was or if it was raining Jo?? Seriously?" Lee reeled as he shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah I know Lee but I wasn't exactly thinking straight. I'm sorry. But at least Orlando is fine. I stayed the night to watch over him and Luke too. I hit him pretty hard, he was cut and bleeding and could have had a concus..."

"Well this just keeps getting better. Poor Luke. He tries to kill his brother and you were worried about HIM."

"Yeah Orlando said the same thing ok, but Luke feels terrible Lee and is going to do all he can to make it up to Landy. He's not Ethan."

"As he should feel terrible. How is he not like Ethan when he goes and does the same fucking thing and you...you defend him because he feels bad? If Ethan had shown remorse, would you have defended him too?? Tell me Jo... what started the fight?? What was it that Luke overheard? He don't just flip out like that for no reason."

"Of course I wouldn't have defended Ethan because it's fucking ETHAN! And as far as that fight, it's between Orlando and Luke so how about we get to the real reason we're here?"

"You're not telling me everything. I can feel it."

"Hello pot, meet kettle!! I have been upfront with you since day one about everything that affected us Lee, my deepest darkest secrets and even about things that didn't affect us and you can't even respect me enough to do the same."

"I respect you more than anyone in this world, more than anyone I have ever had respect for Jo. I love you, only you and you know I do. why can't the past be the in the past where it belongs??"

"Because it's not IN the past! It's right here, in our face because you won't admit what I already know. If none of it mattered, you would have told me the first night I met Ethan and then I wouldn't have felt like I do now, how YOU'VE made me feel! I will not be second, I will not share your heart."

"If you already KNOW, then why do I have to tell you??"

"Are you kidding me right now?? Because I want to hear you say it!! You promised you would tell me yesterday and you ran away with the lame excuse of accusing me of being unfaithful with my freaking landlord. I swear to god Lee, this is your last chance or I...am...gone and I will NOT come back. I know my worth thanks to bullshit like this and if I didn't love you so fucking much, I would have left a long time ago...but with that said, I am at the end of my rope, holding on by a mere thread, waiting, always waiting for you to catch me before I fall, and if you let me fall Lee....you will never be able to pull me back. I deserve to know the truth that you feel is so damn important to hide. I want to hear it from you and not my damn sister!!"

"Wait...whh..what??" he asked as his eyes were now beginning to glisten with tears. "What did she tell you?????"

"YOU tell me! You tell me now."

"Jo, baby I don't want to do it like this, please...please don't make me. I swear to god it doesn't matter, that's why I haven't told you. YOU are ALL that matters to me, YOU my Jo."

"Liar!" you cried and shoved him.

Lee froze, peering down at your telling eyes. You knew. He could see it. His hand rubbed over his mouth and then through his hair as he released a whimpering sigh through trembling lips.

"I....I'm not a liar...I'm...afraid."

"Afraid of losing me or...Ethan??? You can't have us both!"

Lee gently took your face in his hands, his tears now falling.

"I don't want him!!!! I want you baby, god I Love you Jo!! So fucking much I can't see straight. It's been 8 days without you and I feel like I'm losing my mind. Why...why can't you believe me?? You used to. I won't let you fall. I'm right here, I've got you. Please...stay with me."

"You really have to ask me why?? Because everything changed when Ethan came back. YOU changed. The secrets, the panic attacks, the fact that you wouldn't tell me the truth, the fact that you wouldn't make him go away!!! It's going to be longer than 8 days Lee...it will be FOREVER!" you cried and pushed his hands away. "You're the one who told me to breathe, and I did it. This, THIS is what I did it for?? Because now I can't breathe. I am torn between holding onto what you promised and accepting the reality of you not being able to deliver. I'm falling Lee."

His breathing began to race and became hard as he turned around, placing his hands on the railing and vigorously shaking it as he bellowed out a long garbled shout.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!! I...I ca...I can't...I...breathe....I..."

Lee began holding his chest again, just like he did that day at the lake house when he had a full blown panic attack. You grabbed onto him as his legs became unstable.

"Lee??? Oh god...ok, ok...it's alright. Look at me baby, I'm right here, I'm right here. Hold on to me."

"Please...pl...please...don't...don...don't let..me fall. I'll...I'll t...tell you...just...t..take me..home."

"Lee, I don't think I should ride with you like this, you could fall off..."

"Take me home Jo!!!!!" he shouted as he stared off in panic, almost as if he were blinded by the attack.

You put his arm over your shoulder, securing it by holding his hand, then placed your other arm firmly around his waist and began to walk him back to the bike.

"I want you to lay your head on my shoulder and lock your arms clean around my waist and don't move, do you hear me?"

"Mmm..hmm..y...yes."

He did as you asked and after you got going, you secured your left arm over his so you could steer with your right and use the accelerator. You released him long enough to brake as you pulled up to the lake house and as soon as you stopped, he sprung off the bike, still in a panic and quickly stumbled his way inside before you could even catch up to him.

"Lee! Slow down!"

You raced in behind Lee to find him at the kitchen sink with his head under a stream of cold water, spurting out hard gasping breaths as his shaking hands clutched the faucet. You struggled frantically to free yourself of your coat and then grabbed a towel out of the laundry room.

"Lee, I'm right here." you assured him as you stroked his ice cold saturated hair. "Come on, the water, Lee it's freezing. Let me dry you off."

He remained leaning over the sink, his eyes planted shut and his mouth gaping and dripping water as you turned it off.

"Baby, stand up."

He did, eyes slitted open as you placed the towel over his head and dried him.

"God, I am so sorry. This is all my fault, I was too pushy and aggressive and selfish, letting my own feelings consume me. I had no right to treat you that way. So much has happened in the past 24 hours and I let it get to me, things that had nothing to do with this and..."

Lee yanked the towel away. "No...you had every right!" he snapped as he fought to get his jacket off, still gasping and panting, almost to the point of hyperventilation.

"Let me help y..."

"I got it!!" he snapped once again, giving his caught and twisted sleeve a powerful tug and he then let the coat drop to the ground, becoming more distressed and anxious that he couldn't stand still. In his continuing panic, he turned and staggered to the stairs.

"Lee, where are you going?? Wait..."

"Let me go. Just leave me alone." he ordered, pulling his arm from your hold and tripping his way up the stairs.

Your hand came to cover your mouth as you stood frozen with gaping eyes, not knowing what to do because he wouldn't let you help him. What you were feeling was indescribable. You shouldn't have pushed him so hard, giving him an ultimatum like that but you honestly didn't know what to do anymore.

Doing what he did best, you found his whiskey and poured a shot, then downed it as you stood alone in silence, listening for him and staring at the stairs, then your eyes glided back to the kitchen where you caught sight of something on the table. An envelope with your name written in huge letters...JO.

You picked it up to find some crunched up paper wrapped in a bowtie made out of the same material. Was this what he wanted to give you? It had your name on it, so you opened it. Inside was a silver chain necklace with a seashell shaped glass piece attached...and inside appeared to be the tiniest of scrolls tied in a red string.

You then opened the envelope.

"Jo, inside is my love for you...forever. Time in a bottle."

And then under his own words, he wrote the lyrics to the song "Time in a Bottle"

"If I could save time in a bottle The first thing that I'd like to do Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever If words could make wishes come true I'd save every day like a treasure, and then Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time To do the things you want to do once you find them

I've looked around enough to know That you're the one I want to go through time with

If I had a box just for wishes And dreams that had never come true The box would be empty Except for the memory of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time To do the things you want to do once you find them

I've looked around enough to know That you're the one I want to go through time with."

You fell into the chair, once again covering your mouth, this time to silence your crying. After about fifteen minutes, you couldn't take it anymore and made your way up the stairs to check on him, only to find him sitting quietly and perfectly still in the hallway on the floor against the wall, knees bent up, elbows propped on them and his hands clasped together as he rested his mouth against them.

"You...ok?" you softly asked and then slowly approached him.

Lee was finally relaxed and didn't move or say a word until you were standing in front of him. He finally stood up and when he did begin to speak, you let him, with no interruptions.

"It all happened hundreds of years ago to me, but in reality, it was 4 years ago, shortly after Jacob died. Ethan came for the funeral. He stayed for quite awhile and we hung out a lot. He was different then, at least I thought he was a good person. I had no idea what he was involved in, I just needed a friend. A real friend. Sure, I had Orlando but as you know, a doctor's life doesn't have much time for friends...and he didn't want to spend time with Ethan, understandably as we now know."

"We went to a lot of parties during my leave from work. My brother's parties. Drug filled parties where Ethan and I...it was more than the one time Jo. It was many. He...he told me he loved me about a month later and during one of our drug induced nights....I told him I loved him too. I had no idea what I was doing. I was so lost and he was there. Giving me the love I was deprived of. Keeping me medicated to eventually get what he wanted, of course I didn't realize that then. Then one night, he...asked me to marry him and I stupidly accepted, although at the time, I thought it was what I wanted. We flew to Vegas, just me and him. My nerves were on overload. I...I didn't want to go through with it. It didn't feel right when I was sober. Nothing ever did."

"He coaxed me into getting high, which didn't take much to do because I was dope sick and then...there I was, higher than Mt. Everest, saying I do. We went out and partied more to celebrate, gambling our asses off. Later that night, I was coming down from my high and more clear headed. Realizing what I had done, I freaked out and wanted to leave. I told him we needed to get an annulment or however that works, because I wasn't in my right mind. I told him i didn't want to do this with him anymore. It was like I had some sort of epiphany. In my panic of packing my things, he made me a drink. A drink I had no idea was laced with, well...it was roofied. I figured it out later that it was his plan to consummate the marriage to make it more difficult to dissolve...He ummm...."

Lee became quiet and teary eyed as his head lowered, not wanting to look at you.

"Jesus...Lee...did he....force himself on you??"

His eyes slowly rolled up to yours as a tear fell.

"I couldn't prove anything, nor did I want to. I didn't want anyone to know about any of what we did. I told myself that Ethan too, was out of his mind on the drugs and didn't mean to do what he did and I just wanted to forget it all ever happened. We flew back the next day and never spoke of it. I then checked myself into rehab for 90 days without his knowledge and when he found out, I refused his visits and calls. After I got out, I filed for a simple annulment to erase it all, but it was not granted. In Massachusetts, you have to have solid clear proof of your claims and...I had none to show we were both incompetent due to impairment and even if I had proof of what he did to me, I sure as hell wasn't going to make that public and of course without proof, the marriage would have been considered consummated, so...I filed for divorce which I was able to do since I had lived here more than a year. I claimed irreconcilable differences just to be simple and after that, I didn't see him for another year. He had been back and forth between the U.K. and Boston and when I saw him again, I had then forgiven him by blaming it all on the drugs for his actions as well as my own and we remained good friends, still hanging out from time to time but that was all it was, I swear it Jo. I knew what I had felt for Ethan was never real and the moment I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt was when you came into my life and let me know what love really was, my lady strange. I never felt this way for him, or for anyone, ever. That's how I knew it was real this time. I never loved him Jo....I love you."

Lee's voice choked up when he said those last three words to you. His tear stained eyes never once blinked nor did they move and the way he gazed in your eyes as he said it, demolished your heart into a million pieces as if a wrecking ball had swung right in. You now felt like the biggest fool in the world for ever doubting his love for you, and the guilt, it was unbearable, for what you had believed about him couldn't have been further from the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God.

"I know that you do." you whispered with a whimper.

"I...my god Lee...what have I done? Can...you ever..forgive me? For ever doubting you. You told me over and over you felt nothing for him and I let all of my insecurities and everyone else make me doubt your love when I didn't even know the half of what really happened. And now...I...I forced you...I caused all of this...I hurt you so much just now. I..I feel like such fucking scum. I..I listened to my sister and Ethan and even Luke..."

"You didn't know because I kept it from you, that's not your fault. It's mine Jo. There's nothing to forgive sweet girl. God I should have told you so long ago and saved all of your justifiable doubts. Jo, if anyone is scum, it's Ethan. And I'm disgusted with myself for it taking this long for me to open my eyes. I now know he knew exactly what he was doing that night and that he's bat shit crazy on top of it."

"Lee...why. Why were you so afraid baby?? Why did you ever think I would leave you because of it?? You did nothing wrong. Even after everything, you told me the truth and...I'm still here Lee. I can't imagine a world without you."

"For that exact reason. I was afraid because I didn't think you would believe me and I thought I would lose you. And I thought that I had. This entire week, all I have thought about is the last time we made love and how you were just gone when I awoke. I can't even begin to describe to you what that did to me and then I see you a week later and you smelled like cologne. God, I am so sorry for overreacting."

"I know, I got your texts last night." you told him with a smile. "I need you to know, in case you're wondering about me staying at Orlando's too...it was merely to watch over him."

"Jo, I'm not mad about that. My god, you saved his life. If anything baby, I'm so grateful."

"But I...I have to tell you something because I won't keep things from you. I...I did sleep in his bed..BUT...that's all I did...sleep. WITH clothes on. Orlando had fallen asleep and when I came to check on him, I was so exhausted that I ended up falling asleep too. I was just afraid he was going to stop breathing again and..."

"Shhh. It's ok. I believe you and I understand. I am glad you were there for him. Luke, well...that's another story. He's a great friend but...let me just say...I don't trust him around you. I know his track record."

"Yeah umm, I kinda picked up on that and even Orlando told me some things. Lee...he came by my mom's today. I guess he followed me from Orlando's to make sure I got there ok since I was in my car. I...I just wanted you to know that."

"Yeah, I did catch that when you said you heard things from your sister...and...Luke? What the hell did they tell you Jo?"

"It was Megan really. Luke, it's what he didn't say actually. He wouldn't verify what she said, saying it wasn't his story to tell and I guess that only made my thoughts worse. She...she told me that you and Ethan had been in love and married and that was all she said. Obviously Ethan has told her about it. God, I never should have let her get to me like that! I mean, I was literally so stressed out today, I began to panic and got a bloody nose too, can you believe that? I guess I can at least give Luke credit for helping me with that because honestly, if he hadn't been there, I would have had an attack like you did AND I would have strangled Megan, which he stopped me from doing. Oh...and I formally met Tracy too. Boy isn't she just a peach?"

Lee's face cringed about Tracy. "Ohhh, yeah. I should have warned you about her. Tracy's just Tracy, not more I can say on that. After being married to Luke Sr, can't say I blame her too much but with that said, I'll never let her disrespect you. As much as I would rather it had been me to be there for you, I'm glad Luke helped you out, but just be careful. He's trouble as you can see. It follows him and now it follows you because of him and well... it seems like Megs has finally met her soulmate...and you know what Jo? I just don't give a fuck about the two of them anymore. Can we just try and move on together and just leave them in the dust where they belong? They can't touch us. No one can because we're still here through all of the bullshit. I know I didn't take more needed steps to rid of Ethan, but I will do it now. And whoever these bar creeps are, I'll protect you. That is...if you still want forever with me..and even if you don't, I will still do it. I can't say it enough. I love you so damn much Jo March."

You took his hands into yours. "You're all I want. Life just means nothing without you. I know you you love me and I love you. Nothing will ever change that. It's just that forever word....it scares me. Something always interferes every time we are happy and I've already had a glimpse of life without you. I don't want to feel that again."

Lee stroked the back of his fingers down your cheek, then took your hand and guided you to the small window seat in the hall.

Once you both sat down, he repeated the stroking gesture to your cheek with a soft smile.

"As you said, we're still here. We've made it through so much, we'll make it through anything else thrown at us. Everything is out in the open now. Ethan can't hurt us anymore. We won't let him or anyone else. Jo...I'm in this for the long haul. We can do this forever thing and be scared together. You're the one I want to go through time with. You're stuck with me babe."

His grin was so beautiful. He...was so beautiful.

"I...I found your gift. I hope it's ok that I opened it? It's so beautiful Lee and the most heartfelt gift I have ever been given."

"Of course it's ok, it's for you. The little scroll inside...it's the word forever...written by you that you left me last week. I had it reduced and then I put it all together."

"Wait...YOU made it?? Oh my god...I..I don't even know what to say."

"Don't say anything. For god's sake, just kiss me already."

You almost cried when your lips met his. "I've missed you so bad." you whispered in between kisses and then took his mouth again. How could he be so perfect, feel so perfect. You could kiss his supple lips....forever.

"What do you say we turn off the world and you stay with me tonight? I'll make you dinner and we can have some wine, dance even? I just want to show you in every possible way what you mean to me and I have so much to make up to you."

"Lee, if anyone has things to make up for, it's me. And...I need to start with something else you don't know."

You had made up your mind. You would not keep Jason's secret and you knew Lee would never betray your confidence. It was simple really. You loved your brother immensely...but you loved Lee more.

Lee tilted his head, his eyes sparkling, attentive and curious.

"Lee....Jason's alive."

@redeemer46

[delilahdoesthings]

TLPPSISU Ch 5: iHave a Baby

Read the full fic here

Carly never knew it was possible to be in love like this.

She held her newborn son close as she blinked the tears out of her eyes. He was so tiny and perfect. Carly couldn’t believe she had gotten this lucky. 

“He’s so beautiful.” She whispered. 

“He is.” Freddie squeezed Carly’s shoulder, never once taking his eyes off his son. “You were amazing, Carly.” 

“I hope so.” Carly blushed. “I’m never going through this ever again.” She gazed lovingly at the perfect little boy bundled up in her arms. “Are we all good on the name?”

“Yeah.” Freddie replied. “I think it suits him perfectly.” 

Carly sighed contentedly. She was exhausted and in copious amounts of pain. And yet, none of that mattered the second the doctors handed her that sweet little baby. 

“So, Carly.” Freddie began. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” 

“Okay.” Carly smiled. “Go ahead.”

“I love you, Carly.” Freddie’s voice shook. “I’ve loved you in some way, shape, or form since the day we met. You are my best friend, my soulmate, and now the mother of my child. I can’t imagine life without you and I don’t want to.” Freddie knelt down on the ground beside her bed. “Carly Shay, will you marry me?” 

“Yes.” Tears streamed down Carly’s cheeks. “Yes, of course, Freddie. Oh my god.” 

“I love you, Carly.” Freddie’s eyes filled with tears. 

“I love you, too.” Carly cradled the baby in one arm and wiped her tears with the other. “Is there a, um…” 

“I figured we could pick out the ring together.” Freddie promised. 

Two days later, they were gathered around Carly’s living room, the baby fast asleep in his father’s arms. 

“So Carly, are you ever gonna tell us the baby’s name?” Spencer asked. 

“Yeah, are you?” Millicent crossed her arms. 

“Well, since you insist.” Carly laughed, glancing over at Freddie. 

“Everyone.” Freddie began. “We’d like to formally introduce you to our son, Ian Spencer Benson.” 

Spencer’s jaw dropped. “Spencer?”

Carly stood and hugged her brother. “You’ve been such a big influence on both of our lives, it only felt right to include you in his name.” Spencer wrapped Carly in a big bear hug.

She smiled. There was nothing better than being surrounded by friends and family, all gathered around to celebrate the birth of her amazing son. Her pregnancy wasn’t always an easy journey. From unpleasant symptoms to late night anxiety, Carly had her moments where she doubted herself and her decision. But to be here, with Ian, Freddie, and the rest of their loved ones, it was worth every single second.

This was her happily ever after. 

[stepswowdsen]

【FGO】 Beautiful Carnivore, The All-Ridiculing 💚🐈‍⬛

And here's the other batch of colour tests I did

Ashiya Douman doodle 💚 🐈‍⬛

OG + playing around with gradient maps (18 total)

The 1st one is the OG!

I'm just testing rough colours for now so it's super messy and not refined yet

I already loved the colours of the OG that I chose but the other are so cool to see. The way low opacity gradient maps shift the colours in subtle ways WHOAA

If you're curious, check out the Ashiya Douman vs. Dioscuri anthology comic here! Popular FGO fan-artist and official artist AU (@delete_au) has such gorgeous art~

Rambles

I've been obsessed with Ashiya Douman, the evil clown cat since December 2020. Didn't even take me a week to be obsessed. It took 5 days. Sen's Limbo December Descent 🙌

LimGuda is my comfort HC NBLNB ship 💚🧡 They've been one of my top fave ships since December 2020. The spice of a gay evil clown demon who hates humanity, with a karmic relationship of love/hate with the human they're in love with, is unparalleled.

I can’t get over how much I adore Douman. They’re simply the best. This chaos clown is a forever fave of mine~ I love how in-depth and nuanced this hot evil jester onmyouji is. The emotional nuance and complexity of this chara…

“WANTS TO WATCH THEM FALL TO HELL BUT UNWITTINGLY FALLS IN LOVE WITH THEM.” I’M DEVASTATED ABOUT THEM

The amount of detail that went into Douman's character and design is insane to me… Hasendow AKA Showichi Furumi (Douman's character artist/illustrator) has such a huge brain 🤯

My LimGuda collection is my pride and joy 🤭 When Douman first released on FGO NA in November 2022, this was my Douman pentagram setup. Douman merch summoning circle catalyst! We did summon an evil demon into my Chaldea~ Welcome home! You are now reunited with your WIFE 🫶

The clean up's gonna be hell with how detailed Douman's design is, but I love working with their colours! I wanna draw LimGuda in matching green and red Áo tấc so bad!!! Matching couple clothes~ 💘💞

Douman loves them with curses… LIKE A CAT TIPPING OVER VASES CUZ THEY WANT TO BE PAID ATTENTION TO. The whole “Limbo gets defeated/is overwhelmed by the power of feelies and their S/O’s Candid Sincerity" trope I love to see in their ship works that I wanna draw eventually btw… I wanna draw them lots!!!

Cinna said “Douman just reminds me of that ‘cat reacts to separation anxiety by trying to maul their owner’ thing I saw one time” LMAO

Ashiya Douman vs. Dioscuri Anthology Comic by AU

The Ashiya Douman vs. Dioscuri anthology comic has such beautiful art by AU (@/delete_au). Douman invited Ritsuka to fall into hell with them & now they're the one inviting him. Douman tells them that the two of them are "bound by unbreakable/inseparable fate." JAW DROP??? THIS IS GAY AS HELL 🏳️‍🌈 LIMGUDA IS REAL!!! 💚🧡

AU (@/delete_au) is a popular Fate/Grand Order (FGO or Fate/GO) fan artist that's been commissioned to draw official works for Fate (including official merch)

TYSM to Carli (@/carlikun) for translating it... I got stuck on some parts reading the JP version cuz of Douman's difficult, esoteric and archaic vocabulary... I got to clear things up reading the VN fan-TL, and it was interesting to see how it was translated in Viet, but yeah the EN fan-TL cleared up so many things for me.

They drew the Ashiya Douman vs. Dioscuri chapter in one of the FGO anthologies. LIMGUDA ALSO INTERACT IN IT, AND THERE'S TONS OF LIMGUDA FOOD HEHEHEHE... Their art is so gorgeous. They're one of my favourite FGO artists, their works are stunning.

THE WHOLE THING IS SO DELICIOUS SO I'LL JUST SHOW A COUPLE PAGES FROM THE END, BUT OH MY GOD???

I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMM LOVE IS REALLLLLLL

Douman is gigantic. Ritsuka's 200 cm tall (~6"7) bf that loves them!!!

AU'S DOUMAN COMIC FROM THE FGO ANTHOLOGY COMIC WITH DOUMAN AND RITSUKA IS MAKING ME SCREAM WTF /pos /endearing

[real-time-twilight]

Breaking Dawn in Real Time

September 11th, 2006 (Monday)

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous 🌖

🌄 Sunrise: 6:45 AM

🌅 Sunset : 7:44 PM

Breaking Dawn, Pgs. 309-360

Ch. 16 ("Too-Much-Information Alert")

Ch. 17 ("What do I Look Like, the Wizard of Oz? You Need a Brain? You Need a Heart? Go Ahead. Take Mine. Take Everything I Have.")

Ch. 18 ("There Are No Words for This")

Note: Today's post contains blow by blow descriptions of a graphic birthing scene, which may be read under the cut.

4:00 AM (Approx.) - Jake leaves the Cullen house and returns to Seth and Leah to make a sweep of the area to ensure that it's clear for the Cullens planned hunting trip

5:00 AM (Approx.) - Leah comments that Jake has changed, Jacob notes that she has as well

5:15 AM (Approx.) - Leah thanks Jake for letting her join his pack and commends him on his leadership skills; Jake and Leah discuss the future, agreeing that Seth should go back to La Push as soon as the current situation passes, but Leah asks to stay connected with Jake's pack, planning on quitting as soon as possible and moving on with her life now that she's no longer connected to Sam--Jake asks for time to consider it

6:50 AM (Approx.) - Jake and Leah hunt; they eat in silence as Jacob thinks over Leah's request

7:00 AM (Approx.) - Seth turns in for the morning; Jake and Leah discuss the future more; Leah points out that she understands Jake's situation with Bella, as it is similar to her own with Sam; Leah says she understands Rosalie's perspective, as she believes her anomalous active wolf gene indicates that she is infertile; the conversation turns toward imprinting and Jacob becomes uncomfortable, phasing back to human form and returning to the house.

7:15 AM (Approx.) - Jake considers sleeping until he hears x-ray machinery operating inside the house and goes in to investigate; Alice meets him on the stairs and informs him that the fetus may have now cracked Bella's pelvis

7:16 AM (Approx.) - Bella is brought back downstairs; Jake tells Carlisle that the coast is clear to go hunting and gather supplies; everyone leaves but Edward and Rosalie

7:20 AM (Approx.) - Jake annoys Rosalie with blond jokes

7:25 AM (Approx.) - Edward hears the baby's thoughts and realizes that it is cognizant and that it likes hearing his and Bella's voices; Bella mentions her chosen baby names: Edward Jacob it's a boy, and Renesmee Carlie (portmanteaus of "Renee and Esme" and "Carlisle and Charlie") for a girl

7:26 AM (Approx.) - Edward says that the baby loves Bella and realizes that their doting has completely alienated Jacob; he gives Jake a set of keys and urges him to get away from the house to spare him further pain

7:27 AM (Approx.) - Jake runs to the garage to find that the keys are for Edward's silver Aston Martin Vanquish, which he drives to Tacoma

8:45 AM (Approx.) - Jake arrives in Tacoma and finds a park to wander around in, in the hopes of finding a girl to imprint on

3:00 PM (Approx.) - Unsuccessful, Jake returns to the Vanquish and dawdles

3:03 PM (Approx.) - Jake is approached by a girl named Lizzie; they talk about cars and lament the discontinuation of the Vanquish in favour of the new V8 Vantage; Jake lets the conversation peter out, saddened that a nice girl like Lizzie can't solve his problem and heads back to Forks in no hurry

6:00 PM (Approx.) - Jake finds Edward waiting for him in the garage; Edward asks Jake to get a handle on Leah, who thoroughly castigated Bella on Jacob's behalf; Edward also tells Jacob that the baby is extremely mentally developed, and given how physically developed it is as well, that it would likely be safest to remove the baby before Bella goes into labour--hopefully as soon as Carlisle returns--and asks Jacob, as the great-grandson of Ephraim Black-- for a dispensation re: the treaty so they can turn Bella when necessary without repercussions

6:03 PM (Approx.) - Jake and Edward meet Seth on the way back to the house, and Jake tells him to tell Leah to lay off; they return to the house to find Bella awake; Bella tries to apologize to Jacob, feeling guilty after being chewed out by Leah, but Jake tells her not to; Jake mentally agrees to the dispensation

6:04 PM (Approx.) - Edward and Rosalie help Bella stand so she can use the bathroom; Bella accidentally knocks over her cup and bends to pick it up; in the act of bending over, the placenta detaches, and Bella vomits copious amounts of blood before seizing

6:05 PM (Approx.) - Edward and Rosalie hurry an unconscious Bella upstairs; Bella regains consciousness, begging Edward to deliver the baby before v it suffocates; Edward protests, wanting to give the morphine time to take effect

6:06 PM (Approx.) - Rosalie insists there is no time, beginning to cut into Bella's stomach; Rosalie is over taken by a frenzy at exposure to Bella's fresh blood; Jacob tackles her and Alice wrestles her from the room

6:07 PM (Approx.) - Edward instructs Jacob to administer CPR on Bella, who has stopped breathing; Edward and Jacob hear a crack and realize that the struggling fetus has broken Bella's spine; Jacob begins CPR while Edward cuts into Bella and cuts through the vampire-hard amniotic sack with his teeth; Bella regains consciousness; Edward succesfullt removes the baby, which is a girl

6:08 PM (Approx.) - Bella, barely conscious asks to hold her; Edward places the baby close to Bella's chest; Renesmee bites Bella's left breast; Edward draws Renesmee away, admonishing her

6:09 PM (Approx.) - Bella's heart stops; Jacob immediately begins CPR again; Rosalie returns to the library and takes the baby so Edward can help Jacob; Edward Nikki Sixx-es a syringe full of his venom directly into Bella's heart and begins to bite all of Bella's main pulse points as Jacob continues to manually pump Bella's heart

6:10 PM (Approx.) - Jacob gives up hope of saving Bella; Edward, manic, tells him to go and assumes CPR duty

6:12 PM (Approx.) - Bella's vampire transformation begins.

6:11 PM (Approx.) - Jacob walks downstairs, pausing on the last step; he sees Rosalie bottle-feeding Renesmee blood; Jake plans to kill the child for killing Bella; Rosalie lifts Renesmee to her shoulder and Jake makes eye-contact with her, instantly feeling a profound sensation of purpose, as though his world revolves around Renesmee and realizes that he has imprinted on her.

[originalhybridloverfics-backup]

Ch 9 The Gift You Gave Me

For the next two weeks, Oliver, Felicity and John repaired the bunker and helped the city in its efforts to recover from the Undertaking.

Even now, first responders were still recovering bodies from the wreckage.

As the body count raised, the amount of anger, blame, and discontent rose in the city. The people started calling for Merlyn blood. They celebrated Tommy’s death. They wanted Moira Queen dead and there were even those few who wanted Oliver and Thea to pay for their parents’ crimes.

Oliver had a team of security on Thea when she wasn’t with Roy, much to her annoyance.

He worried for Felicity, but as long as the world didn’t know she was carrying Malcolm Merlyn’s grandchild, she was safe.

John was spending more time with Carly, and that often left just Oliver and Felicity to their own devices.

More often than not found Oliver on Felicity’s couch or in her kitchen, but always with her.

He learned she couldn’t cook to save her life and took it upon himself to make her breakfast and dinner. Often when she was at work, when he wasn’t working on the foundry or working out, he was researching recipes for pregnant women.

Felicity didn’t mind. Oliver’s cooking was a hundred times better than microwave food and it reminded her of Tommy in a good way, even if it made her heart ache just a bit more than it did before.

Before, Oliver was her teammate, her partner, but now he was becoming a very close friend. 

Someone she could talk to about almost anything. Her worry and fears. How much she missed Tommy. About her day.

Oliver had not only become her friend but her sounding board, her confidante. 

Her pillar of support.

Her anchor among tragedy and heartache. 

Her life had changed so much and in a world she was still adjusting to the changes.

Nothing about any of this was easy.

LINEBREAK

Oliver set a plate on the counter. Scramble, eggs, toast and grapes. A glass of orange juice is next to it.

Felicity’s bedroom door opened. Her hair was left down and more curly than he has ever seen it. She was pale this morning, making the circles beneath her eyes more evident. She wore a pair of black yoga pants and an oversized blue shirt he knew to be Tommy’s, dipping off one shoulder.

“Are you not going into work today?” Oliver wondered, knowing Felicity would have worn something else if that were the case, or maybe she was just running late.

His step faltered." Are You feeling okay?" 

“I have to go to the hospital.” Felicity said. 

Oliver’s heart leapt into his throat and he was rushing forward before she could take another step. “What’s wrong?” his arm wrapped around her waist, ready to whisk her away to the hospital as fast as possible.

“I’m fine.” Felicity patted his chest, seeing his worry. “I have a doctor’s appointment, so I took the day off.”

“Oh, is it for the baby?” he asked, helping her over to the counter.

“It is,” she answered, sipping at the glass of orange juice.

Oliver settled across from her. “Can I..:” he shook his head abruptly, falling silent. 

Felicity watched as he pushed his eggs around on his plate, that brooding frown in place that she was all too familiar with. “You want to be there?”

Oliver looked up at her hesitantly. “I don’t want to overstep.”

“You’re not.” Felicity assured him. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Yeah?” Oliver smiled lightly.

“Yeah,” said Felicity. “It will be nice to have a friend there.”

“When is the appointment?” Oliver looked at the clock.

“Not for another 2 hours.” Felicity answered, nibbling on her toast. “We got time.”

LINEBREAK

Oliver followed Felicity’s mini Cooper on his bike through the hospital’s underground parking garage.

It was convenient in keeping away from the hostile mobs out For Merlyn blood and from paparazzi and reporters.

Oliver followed closely behind Felicity as it seemed she knew exactly where she was going and he didn’t.

He stepped closer to her as a few others got into the elevator with them.

He was worried at first that someone might recognize him and his trip here will be on every television and paper in the city. But not a single person paid him any mind, some miracles he would gladly accept. He felt out-of-place walking into the women’s clinic. It only increased when he noticed it was a room full of pregnant women and he was only the third man there.

He stepped closer to Felicity to help with his unease. His hand migrated to her back. 

“Are you sure you want to be here?” Felicity asked quietly, leaning into him so he could hear her.

“Yes, just nervous.” Oliver admitted.

“So am I.” Felicity said, and Oliver moved his hand from her back to her hand, closing his around hers.

Felicity squeezed his hand and approached the receptionist's desk. “Felicity Smoak. I have an appointment at 11:15.”

“Fill this out and I will get you checked in.” The receptionist replied politely, holding out a clipboard with forms. “And I will need your ID and insurance card.”

Felicity dug through her purse until she found her wallet as Oliver took hold of the clipboard. Felicity handed over the cards.

She accepted the clipboard from Oliver and took one of the empty seats that was left. 

Oliver joined her, rubbing his fingers together in that way he did when he was feeling nervous or restless.

It didn’t take Felicity long, and she took them back up to the counter. 

10 minutes later, a nurse came and took her to one of the patient rooms, and she and Oliver were left waiting for the doctor. 

Felicity sat on the medical bed while Oliver paced, looking out the window and the skyline laid out before him.

“Does it usually take this long?” Oliver wondered.

“Patience is a virtue.” Felicity said, and despite himself, Oliver smiled.

“What do you want to do after this?” asked Oliver, hoping to distract himself.

“I don’t know.” Felicity answered honestly. “I guess it depends on how I feel after this.” 

The door to her room and an older brunette woman walked in dressed in a white coat. “Hi, Ms. Smoak. I’m Dr. Avery. How are you feeling?”

“Nauseous. Tired.” Felicity answered.  

“That’s perfectly normal.” Replied Dr. Avery, filling out a form. “Any cramping?”

“No.”

“Spotting?”

“No.”

“Very good.” she looked up from her chart, looking at Oliver with recognition. “And is this the father?”

“This is a very good friend of mine.” Felicity answered and Oliver came over and gently took her hand in his, his thumb brushing slowly back and forth across the back of her hand.

“Good. As first time mom’s and one as young as yourself, it’s important to have a support system.” Dr. Avery said.

“How do you know this is my first child?” asked Felicity. “Is it in my chart?”

“Yes.” Dr. Avery smiled. “Also, you’re wringing your hands. You’re nervous. Most first time mom’s are always nervous.”

“Does it ever go away?” Felicity wondered. 

“It vary’s with every patient. Everybody is different.” Dr. Avery answered. “Are you ready to see your baby today?”

“What? Really?” asked Felicity, as Oliver blew out a breath.

“Yes, really.” Dr. Avery smiled. “I’ll need you to lay back and raise your shirt for me to just beneath your breast.”

Felicity did as instructed as the Doctor wheeled over the ultrasound machine.

“I apologize in advance for the coldness.” Said Dr. Avery as she spread a gel over Felicity’s abdomen.

Felicity jerked at the coldness, and Oliver Instinctively took her hand.

Dr. Avery placed a doppler against her skin and slowly began moving it.

Felicity’s heart pounded against her ribs, and her breath caught in her throat. 

Oliver felt his body seize up, a ball of emotion lodging in his throat. He knew this moment was going to change everything, and it terrified him in a way that he wasn’t used to.

It was silent in the room, the only sound the breathing of the occupants in the room until it wasn’t.

A fast heartbeat filled the room. 

Felicity’s breath left her in a rush.

“Is that..?” Oliver was having trouble finding his voice. “The baby’s heartbeat?” 

Dr. Avery nodded. “Yes, it is.”

“It’s fast.” Felicity said and added quickly." Is that normal?"

“It is.” Dr. Avery confirmed, moving the doppler around a bit more. “There you are.”

Felicity’s hand flew to her chest after Dr. Avery turned the ultrasound monitor screen toward her, pointing out her baby in the grainy image.

“That there is your little one,” said Dr. Avery. “I would say you are almost 9 weeks along.” 

“And everything’s fine?” Felicity asked.

“Your baby is perfect.” Dr. Avery assured. “From the development and how far along you are, I approximate your due date in November.” 

“It’s common to have a miscarriage in the first trimester. Is that something I need to worry about?” Felicity asked.

“Everything I see tells me you have nothing to worry about.” Dr. Avery answered and went on to explain what she could expect for the next few weeks.

Felicity glanced over at Oliver and his eyes were glued to the ultrasound monitor. More specifically, the baby’s image on the screen. There were tears in his eyes and a soft smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

“Any questions?” Dr. Avery asked.

“Yes.” Felicity turned back to the Doctor squeezing Oliver’s hand. “I have morning sickness and it comes at all times of the day. Will that last during the entire pregnancy?”

“I want to say no, but there are some case’s that it does last the duration of the pregnancy. If you’re lucky, it will only last the first trimester. Things should go more smoothly once you reached your second.”

“Is there anything we can do to help ease the symptoms?” asked Oliver, forcing his eyes away from the image of Tommy and Felicity’s baby to Dr. Avery.

“I will prescribe some nausea medications and some pregnancy vitamins.” Dr. Avery answered and began using a paper towel to wipe away the gel off Felicity’s stomach. “I will print you off a couple of pictures of your baby’s ultrasound.” 

“Thank You.” Felicity said gratefully.

“Of course, I’ll be right back.” Dr. Avery smiled before leaving the room.

Felicity turned to Oliver when they were alone. “You ok?”

His eyes shined with unshed tears and it was a little disconcerting to see the man who was guarded more than the Pentagon, so vulnerable.

Oliver turned to her.

Tommy should be the one standing here, holding your hand. Not me.

The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t say them.

He didn’t want to cause her more pain. 

He swallowed visibly. “Yeah, it’s just.. surreal.” 

“I know.” Felicity squeezed his hand. “I’m scared.” 

Oliver smiled softly. “So am I and that’s ok. This is uncharted territory. It’s okay to be scared, but I don’t think you need to be. You are gonna be an amazing mother.”

Felicity hoped he was right.

A few minutes later, Dr. Avery returned with her printouts and prescriptions. They talked for a little longer before Felicity and Oliver were on their way.

“Are you hungry?” asked Oliver, glancing at her briefly before returning his eyes to the road.

 “Yes, I could use a big belly burger and some mint chip.” Felicity answered. “We could call John, see if he wants to meet us for lunch?” 

“You call John, I will get us to big belly burger.” Oliver said, turning on his turn signal as he came to a stop at a busy intersection.

John had easily agreed to meet them. It gave him an excuse to check on Carly without coming across as overbearing.

LINEBREAK

John met them just outside BBB’s parking lot. He smiled at Felicity and held the door open for her. “What have you two been up to today?”

Oliver looked at Felicity to answer John. He was taking his cues from her.

“I had a doctor’s appointment.” Felicity answered, grabbing their usual booth.

“Oh.” John took a seat across from her as Oliver slid into the booth next to her. “How did it go?”

“Good. We got to see the baby and hear the heartbeat.” Felicity answered, her lips pulling up into a genuine smile.

“We?” John looked over at Oliver.

Oliver nodded. “It was surreal.”

“Do you want to see my ultrasound pictures?” Felicity immediately began digging through her bag.

John leaned over the table expectantly. He hadn’t seen her smile since The Undertaking. 

Felicity pulled out the ultrasound pic and showed it to John, pointing out the baby. 

“Wow.” said John.

“I know,” said Oliver, his eyes lit with wonder. “It’s unbelievable.”

“It’s almost like he’s still here with me,” Felicity murmured, staring at the picture in awe.

Oliver and John both reached over and squeezed her hand in support.

“What can I...” Carly trailed off. “Is that an ultrasound picture?” She looked at Felicity. “You’re pregnant?”

“I am.” Felicity replied.

“Congratulations.” Carly smiled.

“Thank You.” Felicity slipped the pic back into her purse.

“If you ever need some advice or anything, you can call me,” said Carly.

Felicity appreciated the offer. “I will probably take you up on that.” 

“Please do.” She pulled out her notepad. “Now, what can I get you guys?”

“Cheeseburger, extra pickles, no mayo. Fries, extra crispy and mint chocolate chip ice cream.” Felicity listed off.

“Don’t have mint chocolate chip.” Carly answered, writing her order down." I can do chocolate." 

Oliver leaned into Felicity. “I’ll stop and get you mint chocolate chip when we leave here that way you can have some whenever you want. Plus, we need to stop and have your prescriptions filled.” 

Carly looked between Oliver and Felicity as they locked eyes.

“I’ll have my usual,” John interjected, bringing Carly’s attention back to him.

Carly smiled at him and reached out to rub his shoulder.

“And you Mr. Queen?” Carly asked Oliver, not needing to write down John’s order, already knowing it by heart.

“Oliver, please.” Oliver insisted. “Double cheeseburger, easy on the cheese, fries and a glass of water.”

Carly nodded, writing it down, and sent another smile at John before returning to the counter.

John quietly excused himself and followed Carly to the counter. His hand covered hers on the counter and she smiled up at him, stepping closer. John’s other hand came to rest on her waist and hers on his chest as they spoke in soft tones that neither Felicity nor Oliver could make out what was being said.

“Do you think they’ll last?” Felicity wondered curiously.

Oliver glanced at John and Carly briefly before returning his eyes back to her. “I don’t know. I hope so, but their relationship is a bit on the complicated side.”

“Most relationships are,” Felicity replied, a question of curiosity forming. “Speaking of complicated. What about you and Laurel? Think you’ll last this time around?”

Felicity assumed that Laurel wanted to be with Oliver and Oliver, who saw through Laurel tinted glasses would want the same. She didn’t think it would last, or that it was the right move for him, but it was Oliver’s life and his decision to make.

“Laurel and I are not back together.” Oliver’s brow furrowed. "Are people saying we’re back together?"

“No, I just assumed. You always drop everything for her and the way she acted at Tommy’s funeral.” Felicity smiled ruefully. “She was clearly staking her claim.”

“We slept together the night before The Undertaking.” Oliver admitted. “I thought it was what I wanted.”

“Didn’t live up to the expectation you built in your head when you were on the island?” asked Felicity. “Understandable. I mean, you built a lot of expectations out of some misplaced guilt. It’s not a strong foundation to start a relationship on.”

Oliver opened his mouth to respond, but John chose that moment to return. “Carly said our food will be ready in a moment.” 

“Good,” said Felicity, letting Oliver and her discussion fall away. “I’m starving.”

John grinned. “Well, you are feeding for two now.”

Felicity found herself smiling at the thought of her baby and her hand moved to rest over her relatively still, flat stomach.

Oliver watched the movement, and he had the intense urge to cover her hand with his own and was grateful for his own self control.

“So, things with you and Carly?” Felicity wondered, looking at John.

John glanced over as Carly started over to them with a full tray. “They’re going as well as can be.”

“Here are your orders.” Carly unloaded her tray. “If you need anything else, just send John to the counter.”

“We will.” Felicity promised, as John chuckled. 

The three friends kept their conversation light as they enjoyed their meal.

LINEBREAK

Oliver returned home later that day, intending to shower, grab some fresh clothes and an overnight bag.

It occurred to him that it was presumptions of him to pack an overnight bag for Felicity’s, but right now, he needed to be near Felicity.

He needed to watch over her, care for her. He needed to feel like he was honoring his promise to Tommy to look after her. However, it wasn’t just for Tommy. It was for himself too.

The closer he got to Felicity, the more drawn he was to her. His life had come down with the Glades and being around Felicity was the only thing that felt right to him.

“What’s the overnight bag for?”

Oliver glanced over to see Thea standing in the open doorway, dressed in her favorite pair of silk pajamas.

“I was going to spend the night at a friend’s.” Oliver answered.

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately since everything happened.’’ Thea commented. The look in her eyes reminded him of their mother’s when she was trying to get to the bottom of a problem.

“My friend lost someone really important. None of this has been easy. For them especially.” Oliver answered, thinking about how hard this has been on Felicity. 

“How is Laurel?” asked Thea, wrongly assuming that’s who Oliver had been spending all his time with.

“I’m not sure. We haven’t spoken in almost a week.” Oliver answered honestly.

“Wait, if not Laurel then,” she shook her head before her eyes lit up. “The blonde? I think her name was Felicity. Is that where you’ve been spending all your time?”

Oliver couldn’t bring himself to answer, but his silence spoke volumes.

“Who did she lose?” Thea wondered. “Was it someone close to her?”

“Closer than Laurel and I have ever been,” confessed Oliver. He didn’t think he ever loved someone the way Felicity had loved Tommy. “And she has no family here.” 

Thea nodded, feeling a wave of sympathy. It sucked losing someone close to you and being alone only made it worse. “You could always invite your girlfriend here.”

“It’s not like that. She’s not my girlfriend. We’re just friends.” Oliver protested, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder. “Are you going to be okay on your own tonight?”

“I won’t be on my own.” Thea said, a small smirk pulling at her lips. “Roy’s coming over.” 

Oliver’s face scrunched up.

“Don’t make that face. I’m not a little kid anymore.” Thea admonished. “I shouldn’t have to remind you of that.”

“I know.” Oliver sighed, still he didn’t like his sister with boys. He was a big brother. However, he knew Roy was a good kid. “As long as he makes you happy.”

“He does.” Thea said.

Oliver walked over to his sister, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he passed. “Good.”

“The offer still stands for your friend. She’s welcome here if you want her to be.” Thea’s tone made it clear she didn’t believe Felicity was just his friend.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Oliver called over his shoulder and left, pausing long enough beside her to press a departing kiss to her temple.

LINEBREAK

Felicity pulled her door open to find Oliver with a duffel bag over his shoulder and his arms full of grocery bags.

“I went shopping.” Oliver said in greeting.

“I can see that.” Felicity took two of the bags from him.

Oliver followed her inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

Felicity set the bags down on the kitchen counter. “What’s with the duffle bag?”

“I hope you don’t mind. It’s just in case I stay over.” Oliver set the remaining grocery bags on the counter. He let the duffle bag slip down his arm and drop at his feet. 

“I don’t mind.” Felicity said. “You’re welcome here anytime, as long as you’re comfortable on the couch.”

“I’ve slept in worse places.” Oliver replied, beginning to unload the grocery bags. 

Vegetables, fruits, a few packages of meats, yogurt, heart healthy cereal, eggs, pancakes.

 “I’m sure.” Felicity replied as Oliver pulled out the last item from the bag.

A carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. “As requested.” Oliver set the ice cream on the counter.

Felicity snatched the ice cream up. “You are a Godsend.”

Oliver couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that rose in his throat.

It was honest and real. Hearing it brought a soft smile to Felicity.

“I was under the impression pregnant women were harder to please.” Oliver commented, a light feeling in his chest from just being in Felicity’s presence.

“This one’s not.” Felicity opened the ice cream and retrieved a spoon.

“Speaking of,” he pulled out a small white paper bag from his jacket pocket. “I picked up your prescriptions.” he set the bag down on the counter.

“Thank you,” Felicity said around a spoon full of ice cream.

“Shouldn’t you wait until after dinner?” asked Oliver as she popped another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

“If you didn’t want me to eat the ice cream before dinner, you shouldn’t have bought it.” Felicity replied with a smile, swallowing another bite of ice cream. “And speaking of dinner, what are you making for us tonight?”

“Something healthy for you and little Smoak.” 

Felicity’s nose scrunched. “Little Smoak?” 

“Peanut?” Oliver offered.

Felicity shook her head.

“Cargo?” Oliver tried again.

“Pumpkin.” said Felicity.

“Pumpkin?” Oliver repeated, lips twitching. 

“It’s what my grandmother called me when I was little.” Felicity explained.

“What about your mom?” asked Oliver curiously. 

“Pistachio.” Felicity pressed her lips together. 

“What?”

“I didn’t open up easily.” Felicity explained. 

Oliver noted that he was slowly learning more about her." Pumpkin it is."

“Want some?” Felicity offered him a spoonful of her ice cream.

Oliver leaned over, taking a bite.

“Why don’t you eat the rest of your ice cream while I get dinner started?” Oliver suggested.

“Sounds like a plan.” Felicity sent him a smile and walked into the living room, settling on the couch as she got Netflix started.

Oliver joined her once he had dinner done and was giving it time to cool off. Felicity instinctively moved closer, and he lifted his arm, tucking her into his side.

He felt more at home next to her than he could ever remember feeling. It was a feeling he wanted to protect.

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 35

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 14 minutes

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Y/n and Jungkook sat cross-legged on the floor of her apartment, surrounded by a mess of old books, crystals, and candles. They'd been at it for hours, flipping through pages and trying out different spells from the damned book that got them in that trouble.

They first tried with the solution that was given in the page behind his spell, but he didn't feel anything, so they tried with the different solutions that kept coming up throughout the different spells for different things, even if they had nothing to do with what he wanted to erase.

—This one says you have to meditate under a full moon —Y/n read out loud, holding up a page with a dubious-looking diagram.

—Naked? —he arched his eyebrows with a malicious smile, earning an eye roll from her before dropping the book to her lap.

—Well, if you want to... It's up to you.

—Should we both do it together so it gets more power?

—You're making me regret helping you —she assured him, narrowing her eyes while dropping her head.

—I was just thinking of ways to make it work —he shrugged.

—You should eat a sprig of parsley while you do it —she commented, ignoring his approach.

Since he first stepped inside her place, it became impossible for her to concentrate on what they were there for. Jungkook always had a look, a smile, a comment... anything that completely diverted them from what they were doing. That was why they spent the entirety of her Saturday sitting on the floor, in front of a book and a bunch of snacks, with several sheets of paper displayed around them with weird sketches.

—I'd rather stay cursed than do that —he snorted, leaning back on his hands.

—That's how bad you want to date me, I see —the book made a dry sound that echoed in the room through the silence as she closed it.

—Wait, no, I'll do it —Jungkook smiled, trying to stop her from getting up—. I'll eat a whole tree if I have to.

—The sprig of parsley is enough —Y/n clicked her tongue, going back to her place while looking through the pages—. I still don't understand, what did you feel when you think the curse was thrown on you?

—I mean, it wasn't the moment Carly said those words, but later that night —he frowned—. It was like something was opening up my chest and taking my heart out.

His hand flew to his chest just by remembering the sensation, and how hopeless he felt. For a second, Jungkook felt like he was dying and there was no turning back. He even saw the way his life played through his eyes like a movie. It was so frustrating... and scary.

—You, so used to treating girls like objects, will be burdened by the pain of being treated the same way. Love will be an unknown word in your dictionary from now on so when you find The One, you will be repaid with everything you've been giving others —Y/n pursed her lips, repeating the same words that were said to him, for the seventh time that day—. You did hurt her enough for her to go these lengths. My ex is so lucky I don't believe in this.

—I wasn't even dating her. I can't imagine what she'd have done if we had dated —he scoffed.

Y/n looked over at him when he spoke, and something in her made her believe there was no point for Jungkook to just lie about that. He was so shameless, that he probably would've admitted his crime with grace and would've pretended to play it as if it weren't a big deal.

—You didn't once think of dating her? Or anyone? —she asked.

No.

That was the clearest answer he had in his mind.

Not the way he wanted to date Y/n and do all those silly things he had watched in movies.

He didn't know if it was indirectly related to the way he saw his parents' relationship end, or how scared he was of someone hurting him the way his mother hurted his father. It frightened him to see himself the same way he had always seen a person that seemed indestructible. He wasn't curious about love, because he was sure what it'd led to.

But Y/n slowly got in his life, so subtly and quietly that he didn't realize until it was too late. Every push and pull, every clap back, every witty answer led to a kiss, a hug, a smile that he kept looking forward to. And, for the first time in his life, he was curious about love, he was looking forward to sharing everything about him and receiving everything she wanted to share. Heartbreak didn't even have a place in his head when it came to her.

—I bet it makes you feel so proud to know you're the first —he teased her.

And last.

—Considering you barely have any firsts available, it feels more like one of those discounts with a countdown.

—That... I don't know what to think of that —his eyes moved to the table, losing his gaze there as he tried to look into her response—. Did you call me cheap?

—It sounds like it, but I promise it wasn't my intention —she giggled, moving her hands up while looking for peace—. You didn't answer my question.

—No, I didn't —he sighed—. I was in those flings, but at the same time I wasn't. I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't want to be with someone either —he puckered his lips—. All of them knew I didn't want anything serious, even Carly did. At least I made sure to make it clear when she asked after our third hook up.

With his perspective, Y/n thought that there was nothing wrong with what Jungkook was doing. He was honest with those girls. Morally and health-wise, she could doubt his choices, but, at the same time, he was honest with his feelings and intentions -which was more than what most of the men in her life had been.

—Maybe I should've stopped seeing her when she started getting too attached.

—Maybe —she smiled—. I think it's important that you're seeing it from the outside, and that you're finally able to sympathize with what those girls were feeling. It's one step forward, actually. And you're doing more than a lot of people are able to —she scoffed.

Admitting one's mistakes was always the biggest crash on someone's ego, yet Jungkook was admitting his in front of hers with no excuses, not a "but..." to back him up.

She blinked, getting herself out of her own thoughts before looking down, eyes on the book while pushing it over the table with a gentle movement.

—We've tried everything. This is hopeless.

He gave her a small, reassuring smile, reaching out to gently squeeze her hand.

—I appreciate you going all out for me, but maybe it's not something we can just... you know, undo like this.

—Honestly, while doing all of this I was thinking... You like me, I like you, I'm still here —Jungkook's eyes were attentive to her—. What if you aren't cursed and that thing on your chest was just a gas crying to get out?

Omitting her joke, Jungkook thought that maybe she was right. She didn't run away, she didn't leave, nothing got in between them ever since they met each other. Maybe all those girls left because they weren't meant to stay, and he just related them to the curse because it was an excuse that seemed logical while he escaped commitment.

—First of all, I don't fart.

Y/n had to hold back the laugh that was about to come out with that denial.

—I remember you there's a thick hole in our shared wall, bed to bed, and let me tell you those girls' moans weren't the only thing that made me lose sleep. I've heard you more than once.

—And you're still after me? See how this is love?

Y/n smirked, shaking her head with his comment.

—You might be right —he sighed—. Could be this gave me a better excuse to act the way I did. Probably, if the curse was real, you'd have moved out in a matter of days.

—Or I'd have died the day you tried to poison me —she calmly stated, collecting all of the sheets that were at her reach.

—For how long will you remind me? —he arched his pierced eyebrow.

—Oh, darling. You have a lot of dates ahead to make up to me —she squeezed his cheek.

—What about today?

—Today?

—You, me, a motorbike, some sandwiches...

—Only if I'm the one who drives —she conditioned.

—I can't promise I'll be able to keep my hands to myself.

—I didn't tell you to —she smiled at him, leaving the book back on the shelf.

The pan of guilt he felt, knowing there was so much more he wasn't telling her, slowly vanished when she looked back at him from the door frame to her room. He swallowed down the urge to spill everything right then, to be as honest as he had always tried to be with everyone, but he kept quiet.

Maybe Y/n didn't need to know about how brutal he was in some fights at the beginning, or how that got him in one more scare. Maybe Y/n didn't need to know about Mortal Blow or that side of him ever in her life.

Her back vibrated with her giggle when Jungkook snuggled to her like a schoolgirl, wrapping his arms around her body, palms on her belly -as if he hadn't had his hands holding her breasts just five minutes back-, with his helmet taking up most of her back.

It didn't surprise him how well she drove, and he wasn't sure he wanted to ask her how she learnt to drive -because he knew it was going to relate directly to the ex boyfriend she mentioned the other day-, and he didn't really want to deal with that thought when he was just getting to enjoy himself.

He came up with the idea of going on a picnic, he prepared their lunch, but Y/n was the one who thought of the place. She had a good idea up her sleeve, which led them to a small lake nearby.

The park was filled with groups of friends cackling, lying a few meters away from them; couples kissed and got touchy on the grass, while others drove the swan-shaped boats in the lake; families walking around, swinging their kid by their arms as if making them fly over the ground.

And suddenly, a thought got so deep in his head, being so realistic, that Jungkook lost touch with reality until Y/n called him out.

His doe eyes were already big enough, but they always got bigger when Jungkook got immersed in his own thoughts. And at that moment, he looked exactly like that, with a small smile curving up his face.

—Tell me you aren't imagining what those people would look like if they fell.

He blinked, finally looking at her to realize how serious his thoughts were when it came to her. He never thought of being in a serious relationship, and there he was: daydreaming of getting to have a family with her when they weren't even dating.

—Wouldn't it be funny? —he lied, backing himself up.

—Oh Jeon, I just hope I'm there the day karma bites your ass —she mumbled, taking a sip to her sprite.

—Tss, hope you know you'll be the one cheering me up when that happens —he replied back with a cheeky smile.

Jungkook bent slightly over her, a hand behind her back on the grass, while his lips approached her so dangerously she held her breath without noticing.

—Let's hop on one of those boats —she hurriedly suggested, getting up from the ground when their lips barely touched.

Jungkook was so devilishly attractive, that she wasn't sure she'd be able to contain herself once they started kissing. Even looking back to him, when he was still lying on the floor, playing with his lip ring as he smirked, was driving her close to insanity.

Even when he complained, causing his accent to become thicker, he made her knees go weak.

—Forty dollars for an hour —he clicked his tongue, saving his wallet back in his back pocket—. For that amount I can build the boat myself.

—The question is whether it'd float when you got to the middle of the lake —she chuckled, stepping on the boat first.

Jungkook eyed it suspiciously, stepping at the edge to check on it

—You seriously think this is safe?

Y/n laughed, feet already on the pedals.

—Come on, you can take down five guys in a ring, but you're worried about a swan boat?

He rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile as they began pedaling out onto the lake. It was a peaceful scene -the soft lapping of the water, the muffled sound from the people around them, and her skin shining so bright under the golden sun.

For a while, they floated in relative peace, until Y/n nudged Jungkook with her elbow.

—We made it to the middle, it does float, at least.

As if on cue, the boat wobbled slightly, when Jungkook's baggy jeans got stuck in one of the pedals, causing him to shift his weight -just a little too much.

—Wait, wait... —Y/n's warning came too late.

With a yelp, Jungkook lost his balance despite her trying to reach for his arm, tipping over the side of the boat and splashing into the water. For a second, there was nothing but stunned silence, and then Y/n burst out laughing.

Jungkook surfaced, drenched, with a look of pure disbelief.

—I fucking knew it.

—Are you okay? —Y/n called between giggles, leaning over the edge to offer him a hand.

He glared at her, though the corners of his mouth were twitching.

—I'm never trusting a swan boat again —he gasped—. Shit, I might get a stomach cramp now.

—Yeah, over a ham sandwich. You're okay, get back on the boat.

Y/n held tight on the boat, as Jungkook effortlessly pulled his body up the water to sit back in his place. He shook his head fast, trying to get rid of a lot of the wetness in his locks.

—I know I've called you a dog a few many times, but it wasn't for you to take it literally —she huffed, trying to cover up herself with her arm .

—Shit, my phone —he whined, taking the device out of his front pocket.

—And your wallet —she reminded him.

Jungkook, now soaked and glaring playfully at Y/n, shook his head with a grin.

—You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, but still get ready to deal with the consequences.

—Uhh, I'm so scared —she dared him, face getting closer to his—. Let's get back home, you'll need that hot shower.

He was surprised when instead of going back to sitting properly, she kissed him so naturally and sweetly that his heart skipped a hard and loud beat.

It was a quiet afternoon, the kind where time seemed to move slowly. Y/n had stepped out to get groceries, leaving Jungkook alone in her apartment while he took a shower and drained his clothes. He wandered aimlessly, his gaze drifting over her neatly organized bookshelves and the cozy decor.

Pictures of Mitchell and her mother, only her mother, Y/n with a group of friends... all of them were placed over one of the shelves. As he passed by one of the pictures she had with Jason, strange folding caught his eye. He leaned closer, picking it up. He wished he hadn't let curiosity get over him, so he'd have just seen her with Jason, laughing, arms around each other, looking carefree and happy. But just her and Jason.

As he unfolded the picture, his heart dropped to his feet and his breathing was cut in his throat.

He recognized the other man that was next to Y/n, and that she kept hidden behind the frame.

A memory flickered in his mind. He'd seen that face before. In a darker, more painful context. The underground gym, the rough-and-tumble fighters. The young man in the picture was the same one he'd seen at the club years ago, the same one he once beated, almost, to death, before he left that gym they shared.

Noah wasn't only a competitor, but also a trainee when the other gym went bankrupt.

His stomach twisted as the realization hit him like a punch to the gut. Y/n's brother hadn't just been some random fighter. He'd been someone Jungkook had trained with, someone he knew pretty well since he was the one who set some fights for him when he wasn't able to attend.

And, suddenly, the scariest thought flashed his mind. Was he the one who possibly sent him to his final fight?

The guilt washed over him in waves, threatening to drown him, as everything around him kept going in circles.

Jungkook sank down onto the couch, his hands trembling. All that time, he'd been searching for answers about the curse and helping Y/n with her investigation, not realizing he was a part of the very story she was unraveling. If she found out the truth... everything would change. Every step forward they had taken would disappear in front of him.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He had to keep it from her, at least for a while. He couldn't bear to lose her -not when things were finally going right between them. Not when she'd just started opening up, letting him in.

Y/n's cheerful humming drifted in from the hallway as she returned, and Jungkook hastily put the picture back, forcing a smile as she entered the room.

—Hey, you —she greeted, setting down a bag of groceries and grinning at him—. What did I tell you about sitting your wet ass on my couch?

—Right —Jungkook stood up, his heart still pounding, maybe even harder when seeing her.

He took the chance when Y/n went to the kitchen to leave the picture back to where it was, before she could even notice he had seen it.

—Where's your cocky answer? —she frowned— Fuck, are you sick?

Her concerned eyes moved over him, when her hand touched his face to check on his temperature.

—Yeah, I am sick of being away from you —he quickly answered.

He pulled her into a playful hug, burying his face in her hair as he tried to push away the turmoil in his mind. He'd figure it out somehow -how to tell her, how to make things right. But for now, he would just hold onto the moment, hoping he could keep their happiness intact a little while longer.

If Y/n ever managed to convince him about the curse not being real and not working out, that new discovery just proved to him he was indeed cursed. And he needed to work that thing out before telling her anything. 

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[styrofauxm]

okay I understand what everyone is getting at here, but that article is from 2009. I don't think it is applicable to the current conversation except for look at how it has evolved in the last 15 years (10 if you consider the date of OP sharing this).

Actually autistic ppl: pls refer to us as “autistic people”

NTs: people with autism

Autistic person: no

NTs: people suffering with the condition of autism

Autistic person: still no

NTs: