#for tgcf probably pei ming

[fortune-maiden]

ooo for the fic title ask game. "And Then There Were None" :D

Thank you! :D

I'm so tempted to go for the Agatha Christie AU and stick blorbos on an island to be picked off one by one

but let's make things sad instead :D

the fic I would write with this title would be a character study about loss and deteriorating relations. They start off with a great support network! They have family and friends! But time passes. Things change. Family becomes harder to relate to. Siblings have their own lives. Friends grow apart. People fight. People die. You've made mistakes. Some can't be fixed. Some you're afraid to. You've changed. Or maybe you're the only one who hasn't.

Once there were many.

And then there were none.

[muzsmocsing]

It's insane how Pei Ming slutted his way through life and slutted it up even more once ascended, banging mortal, god, ghost, and demon alike yet he managed to be known as The God of Love. People wish STDs upon his hoe ass and STILL pray to him for luck with romance. Meanwhile one unfortunate government mandated typo and poor Feng Xin is forever known as Thick Dick Daddy 27. Like how is that fair.

[arohuacheng]

imagining the story from pei ming's perspective is rlly funny i think. this god from all that time ago ascends again (you were there for the first two times) and immediately waltzes into a situation that fucks something up for your descendant (putting both of your reputations on the line, messing up how hard your descendant worked to become a god and how hard you worked to ensure that he would have that chance) and then refuses to let you smooth the situation out and on TOP of that your friend's little sister (who hates you and who you are trying to look out for by request of your friend) is on your case about it too. so you've gotta work all that out and then like. you chill for a little bit (still kind of upset about your descendant) until your friend undergoes a heavenly calamity. and then in the space of like A Day the god from earlier shows up again with a fucking ghost king, your friend dies, the little sister you're supposed to be looking out for disappears, and everything just kinda goes to shit. so you're like. grieving. trying to process everything. until your OTHER close friend goes off the fucking rails with the spirit of that guy she murdered, and then you get called out to the spooky ghost mountain where you're confronted with the girl whose death YOU were essentially responsible for and have never really come to terms with, and then like. you just kind of hang out with these gay people until everything resolves itself. fight some ghosts. fight the heavenly emperor. get your friend to stop being evil for a little while so she can fix the filing systems. and then you just have to keep being the god of love i guess

[fairsweetlonging]

modern groupchat AU of the heavenly officials; RE: the 33 gods scandal

jun wu: 33 heavenly officials died 💀

pei ming: with all due respect, that is NOT how you use that emoji

shi wudu: rip 💀🪦

pei ming: stop

[ghostkingsupreme]

Of course Pei Ming had to be a banana 🍌

Xie Lian & Hua Cheng | Feng Xin & Mu Qing | Shi Qingxuan & Ming Yi

[sugar-bi-scuit]

Pei Ming: Wow, Mu Qing, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Mu Qing: We literally slept together yesterday?🤨

Pei Ming: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Bitches be like omg pei ming is such a whore

As if they wouldnt let him hit if they got the chance

Its me im bitches

[the-slow-unravel-of-stars]

Pei Ming: Want me to distract the others?

Xie Lian: What? Why?

Pei Ming: Give you and your ghost king some *alone time*?

Xie Lian, blushing: What?? I don’t know what you mean.

Pei Ming: Just wink when you need me.

…Later…

Xie Lian, winking rapidly at Pei Ming: *Ahem*

Hua Cheng, upset: Why are you winking at him?

[epherema]

The fact that pei ming stole some femur and was like this MUST belong to a delicate maiden and started using it as a fucking weapon as if using some woman's femur is gonna protect him like a vodoo charm (like i imagine him legit using it like a boomerang) is crazy and the fact that it was a man's femur

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

i had the dumbest fucking dream yesterday where pei ming and feng xin were sharing a flat that looked like a penthouse off the sims 3 late night and they wanted to keep other ppl from moving into the building so they kept having obnoxious parties but then feng xin started dating mu qing, who was playing the role of Responsible Girlfriend like in a shite comedy film to feng xin's Average Guy main character and pei ming's Slutty Party Friend so there was drama and bickering and such and it finally culminated in feng xin asleep on a chaise longue and pei ming trying to wake him up to open the gate and mu qing got so sick of it that he jUMPED INTO THE SWIMMING POOL FULLY DRESSED WITH SHOES ON climbed out the other side and picked up the still sleeping feng xin to carry him away

what the fuck is wrong with me u lot

edit: ok i caved and fixed the hinge thing BUT I WON'T FIX ANYTHING ELSE >:V we all have to accept my mistakes and SUFFER TOGETHER 😤

edit the second: OK NOW IT IS FIXED FOR REALLY REALS. I DEFINITELY WILL NOT BE FIXING IT AGAIN. WE LIVE WITH OUR MISTAKES NOW. THAT'S IT. that's it

[sinn-bee]

The Rain Master Yushi Huang and the Goddess of Harvest Demeter from Hades game 🌾🌧️

Can you tell that I’m enjoying this little au yet??

[fortune-maiden]

I'm curious :D

would also love to hear people's thoughts in the tags :D

[muzsmocsing]

Underrated book 5 moments

🦋 Hua Cheng being salty about Qi Rong copying his blood rain aesthetic with the gaudy hanging corpse foolishness.

🦋 Xie Lian fully shoving a butchers knife in Qi Rong's mouth for endangering his San Lang.

🦋 Banyue offering to put the small, sick Hua Cheng in a little pot because that made her feel better too.

🦋 Pei Ming and his "childhood friend" naming his sword after their ship name (no homo tho).

🦋 Ling Wen & Pei Ming being actual best buddies.

🦋 Everyone fighting for their lives in the stomach of a mountain spirit while Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are having quality cuddle time.

🦋 Qi Rong profiling Xie Lian as a bottom.

🦋 Xie Lian seeing Quan Yizhen's proper autistic hyperfixation on martial arts and going "same :D".

🦋 Pei Ming acting like the great⁶ uncle he is and telling his nephew to shut up and eat his dinner.

🦋 This illustration. Look at that scary little face. Look at Xie Lian having the time of his life. 10/10

(Book 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

[eastofakkala]

bursts onto your dash by throwing open the door PEI MING IS THE LAN XICHEN OF HEAVEN OFFICIAL’S BLESSING

Explanation under the cut. Features spoilers

So think of all the ways that Pei Ming is like Lan Xichen: 

Part of a trio with a bureaucrat and an older brother

Surprisingly forgiving of said bureaucrat’s bad actions

Known as a good fighter

Captain of the good ship SS Main Pairing

Survives

[whatwhywhowherewhen]

I enjoy the implication the other martial gods are probably pressuring Pei Ming into the leadership role because the other guy who could do it refuses to stop fucking his husband long enough to repurpose his inconceivable and insurmountable talent

Both potential most powerful martial gods just want to relax and be slutty but only one at the foresight to make doing so completely disqualify him from any intruding responsibilities

it's actually so important to me that in the memory loss extras xie lian finds out he doesn't have spiritual power anymore (because he's been having sex). it means

he feels comfortable relying on hua cheng

he's able to be 'selfish', and choose what he wants rather than what other people think is correct

he's free from the responsibility of being the most powerful martial god in heaven

he's getting thoroughly dicked down

[theballadofmars]

RANKING TGCF CHARACTERS BY HOW LONG I THINK THEY WOULD SURVIVE IN FNAF:

12. QI RONG: dies in night 1 at 12:30 A.M because doesn't listen to Phone Guy's instructions and wanders around the pizzeria. Probably kicked an animatronic because he's bored.

11. LANG QIANQIU: tried to be calm and serene about the situation, but gets anxious and angry and goes fight the animatronics. Leaves the security office and Foxy inmediatly kills him.

10. BEEFLEAF: if they're together they die in night 1 because sqx gets braver at hx's side and is curious, goes to explore and brings hx along. Obviously, they get killed.

9. HE XUAN: they go to the kitchen for a midnight snack at 5:00 A.M and finds Chica there. She kills them.

8. FENG XIN: survives night 1 (he didn't listen to the instructions so is a miracle), but runs out of patience in night 2 and fights the animatronics when they try to enter the office instead of closing the door. He loses.

7. SHI QINGXUAN: if they are alone, they will just panic. They talk to the animatronics and scream. Survives two nights (yeyy!!!), but the third night they're so afraid that they close the door and run out of power.

6. QUAN YIZHEN: doesn't listen to Phone Guy's instructions, falls asleep and somehow survives night 1 and 2 like that. Third night is when he can't sleep because of the noise, fights the animatronics to shut them up and ends up getting killed by the Cupcake.

5. PEI MING: so, this may seem a weird placement, but pm is actually pretty competent in his job. Plus, he makes Chica uncomfortable so he only has to fight three animatronics. But by night 4 he becomes too confident in his surviving skills and forgets to check Foxy as much as he should and dies.

4. FENGQING: they would go together, because is fengqing and they're a dynamic duo. They yell all the time, but also work great together. They die at night 4 because they're in the middle of an argument, forget about the animatronics (it's not the first time this happens) and Golden Freddy kills them because he can't deal with them yelling / making out anymore.

3. MU QING: almost survives 5 nights, but after 4 days of this he gets a bit cocky and he's killed at 5.00 A.M by Golden Freddy.

2. XIE LIAN: ok, listen. Xl is about to die every night, but somehow survives at the last minute. The animatronics are pretty confused about this. He ends the week without problem, but when he goes for his paycheck he is bitten by one of the animatronics and spends the rest of his life paying the hospital debt and dealing with ptsd, which you could argue that is worse than death.

1. LING WEN: she's lw. Job with terrible hours, with lots of multitasking where they don't pay you enough to deal with this shit? That's her territory. Survives 5 nights + the extra night + custom night 20/20 mode.

HONORABLE MENTIONS for characters that didn't make it to the ranking because they're just like that:

-HUA CHENG: he's not trapped with the animatronics, the animatronics are trapped with him. This bitch would survive the first night and come back the next day with a bat made of steel and break every animatronic. Then burns the place down. If this is after xl gets bitten, the animatronics don't survive even a day.

-HUALIAN: they fuck in the security office. The animatronics are uncomfortable and don't approach them.

-SHI WUDU: works one night, then sues the company. He's now the owner of Fazbear Enterteiment. And maybe William's next victim.

-YUSHI HUAN & PEI SU: spent one night there, don't come back because it's not worth it.

-YIN YU: is Phone Guy. He dies at night 4 but special mention anyway because Phone Guy.

-JUN WU: would be the fucking killer. Gets springlocked and makes it everyone's problem.

RANKING SVSSS

RANKING MDZS