#for starters what the fuck was season 2

[crowsandmurder]

Clay Morrow Tags and Verses

Clay  ✖ (Aesthetics)

Clay  ✖ (Thoughts)

Clay ✖ (Character Development)

Clay  ✖ (Crack)

Clay ✖ (Headcanons)

Clay  ✖ (Photos)

Clay  ✖ (Starter Call)

BIOGRAPHY

Clay Morrow was born in Sacramento in 1949 to Clarence and Kathleen Morrow. His parents had not been expecting to have a child, but his mother had been thrilled. She tried to provide him with a loving home, whereas his father was a World War II vet, who tried to teach him that he needed to be hard, responsible and needed to love his country. Clay wasn’t sure about serving in the military at first. He often found himself wandering around the streets of Sacramento, in his teenage years. It was then, that he developed his love for bikes, specifically Harleys.

His father made sure that he signed up for the draft, but Clay was happy to not be sent to Vietnam, right away. He’d just bought himself a Harley and he wanted to be out on the road. After his mother died of Pneumonia right before he turned 18, his father turned to the bottle, repeatedly telling him that he’d never amount to nothing, spending all his time on his Harley. Not longafter that, he packed up his belongings and with just 100 bucks in his pocket, he headed out on the road. It was then that, he learned how to do odd jobs, settling for a bit in Lodi, where he worked part-time in a mechanic shop, cleaning up. The owner took him under his wing and taught him everything he needed to know about fixing cars and his bike.

He was settled there for quite some time, before he went back out on the road. He felt most at home, not settling anywhere. Out on the road, he met up with John Teller, and he wound up riding with him and Piney Winston, along with six others. It wasn’t long before they started calling themselves the First 9, as the Sons of Anarchy were created by John Teller and Piney Winston. Clay was one of only three people who had not served time in the military, and some of the older guys, who did their time, made fun of him about it.

In 1969, Clay was sent to Vietnam and became part of the Army Airborne, serving time until 1972. Upon his return, he reconnected with the Sons of Anarchy and continued to ride with them, a little harder, after his time in Vietnam. In 1977, it all changed. While the guys all had women they hooked up with, JT had found himself a young one. She looked barely legal to him, but she was hot. He had definitely looked, but he knew that she had her eyes on JT. After she got pregnant, they all settled in Charming, California.

Clay was not that impressed with Charming, of all places. It just lacked anything, really, in his opinion. It was small and nothing interesting seemed to happen there. But, they had acquired a good amount of land, and that was when he and JT decided to open the Teller-Morrow Shop. They were both good at auto repair, and as time went by, Clay knew it would make a good front. Once the business got going and the clubhouse was up to his standards, Clay decided that Charming might not be so bad, after all.

Over the years, things began to become less about brotherhood and more about what they had gotten into. In the late 80s, Clay and JT went with fellow member, Keith McGee, to help with trouble that had arisen in Keith’s hometown, a suburb of Belfast. They had gotten into trouble with the IRA, and that was when Clay saw opportunity. He started pushing for the gun business back home, and he knew that JT was hesitant, but Clay was not going to give in. Once they got back, he’d managed to convince most of the guys. This could bring in the money. Clay took advantage of the fact that JT seemed to be not as focused, and he used it to his advantage.

As time went on, Clay noticed that JT seemed less focused on Gemma, even when their youngest son died. He could see that they were both broken over it, but to him, JT had become weak and unfocused in Clay’s eyes, and he had no problem anymore, in flirting and eventually starting an affair with his wife. He knew that John was not stupid and knew that he was sleeping with his wife, but he flat out didn’t care. After JT was killed in a motorcycle accident, Clay took the gavel, arguing that Piney was too old, to do so.

He went to prison a few times, usually for gun running charges, but it didn’t take him long to marry Gemma after JT’s death. While JT had tried to handle things more diplomatic, Clay had no problem spilling blood, if it suited him, which happened more than once, during the war against the Mayans.

Clay was always someone who did whatever it took, to get what he wanted.

VERSES:

v: fuck the system | FIRST NINE

Time Period:  1968 - 1993 Clay is asked to join the Sons of  Anarchy, goes to Vietnam, Is patched in upon his return and is committed to the club in a variety of ways, one of which being pushing for the gun business.  He’s also responsible for a lot of the murders during the Mayan War.  As John Teller started to lose faith in what they were doing, Clay started taking advantage in many ways, which included bedding his wife and likely sabotaging his bike, to kill him.  Faceclaim:  Cam Gigandet for the 60’s - 80’s, then Ron Perlman

v: sitting on top of the world | PRESIDENT YEARS (Pre-Show)

Time Period: 1993 - 2008 After the death of John Teller, Clay became President of the Sons of Anarchy. He continued to get them deeper in guns, resulting in a number of fatalities, and all sorts of problems.

v: it ain’t easy being king | SEASON ONE

Clay tries to run the club the best he can, with the ATF breathing down his neck, the whole time. 

v: nobody threatens SAMCRO | SEASON TWO

Clay faces new challenges, as Jax starts to challenge everything he does, due to him knowing how Donna Winston died.  That’s not all though, as he finds out later that his wife has been gang raped to send a message to him. 

v: you do what you have to do | SEASON THREE

After the Irish take Abel, Clay helps Jax do whatever he can, to get his son back. This includes traveling to Ireland, where Clay has to kill Keith McGee, another First Nine member after he betrays SAMCRO. 

v: paranoia strikes deep | SEASON FOUR

After Gemma tells Clay that Tara and Piney have the letters that could implicate him in John Teller’s murder, Clay does whatever he can, to keep the truth from coming out.  This also includes the downfall of he and Gemma’s relationship, and him losing the gavel. 

v: the whistler | SEASON 5

After Jax lets Clay live, he’s allowed to sit at the table.  He does his own scheming with the NOMADS.  Eventually, he loses his patch and is sent to jail for a murder he didn’t commit.

v: sympathy for the devil | SEASON 6

Clay spends his time in jail, before he is broken out and killed by Jax. 

v: fortunate son | AU

Anything that is AU falls under this verse

[iraprince]

That chart of your GW2 ocs has compelled me so much. what is gw2. how do you make gay plants in it

guild wars 2 is my favorite mmo of all time! it's free to play, tho if u ever do end up paying for the expacs/living world seasons and stuff they all have flat costs, no monthly subscription ever. (this is what i really like about it, bc games w subs stress me out... if something has a sub and i don't play every day i feel like i'm wasting money or something lol vs gw i can fall off the wagon for weeks/months and no harm done)

ANYWAY our gay plants are one of the playable races -- they're kind of gw2's version of elves, loosely, but they're called sylvari and imo they're much cooler. rather than being "born" they just Wake Up as fully formed adults from the pods of a magical tree and gain mmmmost (but not all) of their consciousness/general understanding of the world from a shared dream that contains the memories and life experience of the sylvari who have come before them, and at the beginning of the plot sylvari as a people have only existed for like. ~20 years, which i think is a really, really compelling hook. also i'm being serious and textual abt the gay thing, arguably the most central sylvari npc is a lesbian and her relationship w her ex is plot important, one of the starter missions u can choose as a sylvari centers around helping a gay couple and the dialogue is Really Insistent abt not letting it be interpreted as "wow they're good friends!!" etc etc

there's also an Evil Faction of sylvari called the nightmare court who feel the dream is overly controlling/sanitized and want to "liberate" sylvari by balancing out the experiences contained in the dream w more negative and painful ones instead -- in-game more often than not they're written pretty flatly as cackling puppy-kicking supervillains but i think they're really interesting lol, a huge chunk of my + marina's ocs are either current or ex nightmare courtiers (including merrit and glyndwr!)

okay wait wait wait im getting distracted and infodumping u can learn all this stuff yourself by getting into the game. gotta rein it in. uhhh let me leave u w screencaps of a bunch of our ocs so u can see some character creation options bc they're so cool

also hey furries: fuicking excellent beast race with close to no sexual dimorphism.

(the one on the left in this pic is an m model and on the right is the f model. the main difference between charr gender models, literally, is how fluffy their tails are. charr fucking rule)

[marionthegeek]

Stede is in the Gravy Basket, Izzy is Alive

The season 2 finale of Our Flag Means Death is odd.  It hits weird. I think I know why. And this is going to sound bananas, but give me a chance to explain.  Maybe you’ll agree.

It has a huge tonal shift. It seems to speedrun Stede and Ed’s romance. It feels like we’ve missed out on something from the end of episode 7.  The fight scenes and pirate plans are nonsensical, even for OFMD. And most egregiously, a prominent character is killed off in a way that feels disingenuous to his story arc, just for starters.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.  We need to go back to the beginning of season 2.  The season opens with Stede looking more piratey than ever. Beard, sash, earring… oh he’s his own fantasy of a real proper pirate.  He’s clashing swords with Izzy Hands and demanding to know where Ed is. He’s dreaming. In the dream he kills Izzy. He and Ed run into each other’s arms while screaming each other’s names. They crash into the surf. Ed says “I knew you’d find me, Babe.  I knew you’d find me, Love.” Stede keeps asking if they’re good. Ed dodges the question. Then Ed asked about the smell. Stede wakes up in a crowded room with farting and shushing roommates.

At first I thought the finale was supposed to be just a “satisfying” mirror to Stede’s dream. Stede and Ed call each other’s names and run into each other’s arms in a display that resembles a more grown up version of Stede’s dream fantasy. There’s some wild sword fighting not unlike Stede’s dream duel with Izzy. And Izzy dies.

It does mirror, but I didn’t find it satisfying. All of the characters except Stede feel flattened. Stede gets to make the heroic plan (that we never even hear) while there’s at least five pirates with better skill sets for it in the room. Ed, as Blackbeard, was described last season as “History’s greatest tactician”; Zheng Yi Sao conquered China; Jackie just took out a room full of British soldiers. Izzy and Auntie are right there. You could make arguments that Jim or Frenchie, or pretty much anyone could make a better plan. Then Stede says “It’s only suicide if we die,” which is horrible considering the plan gets Izzy killed.

Stede’s really the only person in that room who thinks Stede should be making the plans.  So I got to thinking, what if it's not just mirroring the dream? What if it is a dream? Last shot of episode 7 is an incoming cannonball. Maybe he’s unconscious.

Huge shout out to @Arty_Sunflowers on twitter (I’m not calling it X, fuck Musk) for pointing out that that isn’t the only episode that ends with a cannonball. Episode 2 ends with Jim swinging a cannonball down at Ed’s head.  Stede’s not just dreaming, he’s in the Gravy Basket!!!! (Stede even screams “Oh my God!” at the end of episode 7 in the same tone he screams “Oh my God, I don’t want to die.” in s1e9.

Stede’s hopes, dreams, and insecurities shape everything in the finale. And it helps explain the absurdities in the episode when you remember that Stede is living out pulp adventure and romance novels in his head. (He even looks like someone on the cover of one in his episode 1 dream.) But Stede can’t be dead, you say. He’s literally the main character. Well, Ed was dead for a whole episode. Let’s take a closer look.

I could and probably will do another essay on Lucius as a POV character and Ed’s mental health and how the threads they seemed to have dropped aren’t as dropped as they appear. But all of that hinges on me proving the Stede is in the Gravy Basket theory. So for this essay I’m focusing on that.

So for starters we’ve got the cannonball scenes. They’re eerily similar even if the method of cannonball propulsion is different. We don’t know Ed is dead and in the Gravy Basket for about half of episode 3. Neither does he. It makes logical sense you can be there without realizing it for a while. Buttons even said Ed didn’t know whether he was in the Gravy Basket or not in episode 4. It definitely messes with your reality.

One of Ed’s issues is self hate. He manifests Hornigold as his companion. Stede is desperate to be a good pirate and have people be proud of him. And he lives in his fantasies a lot.  So his dream shapes his experience. There’s a whole bit about Zheng needing “soft” and Auntie saying she’s proud of her. That isn’t their issue. It’s discordant with the show previously. But it is Stede’s issue. He’s manifesting.

When we first see Stede and Zheng in episode 8, they’re in a familiar spot for Stede, the bridge from episode 1. But why are they alone? When we last see Stede and Zheng in episode 7, several characters are within 5 to 10 feet of them. Did none of them decide to escape with Stede? Izzy, Lucius,  and Jim are closest. But we know Pete was there begging Stede to stay down during his fight with Zheng. Archie was definitely in the bar. That's why Jim entered the fight. So why is it only Stede and Zheng at the bridge? Because, going back to rescue others fits into Stede's hero fantasies. 

Zheng and Stede also argue about who pulled who to safety and how they got there. Stede waxes poetic about being a failure his whole life, but things always seem to work out for him. He’s such a main character mediocre white guy in this scene. He saves Zheng from two random soldiers, then she has to save him from them. Then they fight a bunch more soldiers on the beach until Blackbeard manifests in full leather from the ocean.  It looks cool. But it's absurd, even for OFMD.

Speaking of Ed, he begins the episode waxing poetic about nature and calling fishermen simple.  Those things are more Stede than Ed. Pop pop tells Ed, “You have no skills” which is something Izzy said to Stede in episode 5.  He also tells Ed, “If you were ever good at something, go do that, you bum.” If Stede’s insecurities could be distilled into one sentence, it would probably be that. (He also talks about being like a wave. I’m not 100% sure it's a The Good Place joke, but it would be thematically appropriate.)

Pop pop also tells Ed he “ruined dinner.”  Back in season 1, in Stede’s flashbacks to life with Mary and the kids, Stede thinks he’s ruined dinner. But remember, we also see another version of the scene where Stede is laughing with Mary and the kids.  Stede isn’t exactly a reliable narrator. Even in his own head.

Despite it being beyond unlikely, Ed finds soldiers reading one of Stede’s letters. I know physics in this show is sketchy, but this seems like a good time to point out no one found the red silk. Stede wants Ed to read a letter and for it to fix everything between them. The letter, plus Stede being in danger, make Ed swim out, find his leathers, and emerge from the sea with them on, while the music is the Swede’s solo from Stede’s fuckery in s1e6. Stede wants to be rescued by his handsome pirate in leather, again, just like a pulp adventure romance novel. Little chance of Ed swimming out and finding his kit.  Even less of him getting leather pants on under the water.

Back to the beach… for some reason two squads of soldiers are wandering around out on an empty beach. A visually incredible fight scene occurs. It honestly reminds me of Pete’s story in s1e2, including flips. Ed and Stede yell each other’s names exactly as in the dream. Like I’m pretty sure they used the same audio track. The same song (I Love My Baby, Nina Simone) starts playing. Ed says “I love you.” Stede says “I know.” (We’ll come back to the Han Solo joke in a minute.) They have a bit more absurd fighting then Ed, Stede, and Zheng sit on the beach complimenting each other. And Ed calls Stede “babe”.  He’s never done that outside of Stede’s dream and this moment. He’s called him mate a couple of times.  Babe is exclusively in Stede’s head.

Back in the Republic of Pirates, the crew are locked in a cell that is actually the “vista suite” at Spanish Jackie’s.  Izzy gets a heroic entrance. It’s as cool as Stede thinks Izzy is. And he gives a speech that sounds like what he probably told Stede to get him to relinquish the suit in episode 5. Piracy is about belonging to something. You can’t ignore the wishes of the crew.  Izzy also knows details about Captain Kidd and Pinocchio. Not impossible, but not exactly Izzy’s wheelhouse. It is Stede’s though. He’s obsessed with pirate tales and he read Pinocchio to the crew.

Stede, Ed, and Zheng show up just as Jackie has poisoned a bunch of soldiers. Stede makes a plan, despite everyone else being more qualified. Everyone disguises themselves as soldiers. Now we’ve seen the crew of the Revenge wear disguises. They never do the weird free styling they do here. Only Stede actually looks like a British officer. Zheng at least wears the disguise properly. Suddenly Ed has a multi gun bandolier like Blackbeard in the books. Pete ripped the arms off. Izzy is still wearing his vest. Doesn’t make sense if we’re going for stealth. Neither does not checking hostage Ricky for weapons or putting Izzy and his wooden leg at the front of the group.

If I'm right, Stede wouldn't know Ricky was behind the explosions. However,  Ricky is basically evil Stede. He's Stede's perfect foil. All of this is reflecting Stede's psyche. So, of course, it's Ricky.

Izzy gets shot and says quite a lot of nonsense in his death scene. “They love you, Ed.” Um, 3 of them were going to leave like five minutes ago. Ed has made some progress with the crew, but we’re not at “they love you Ed”.  The only person who thinks the crew loves Ed is Stede. Stede who weeps for Izzy while most of the crew aren’t showing much emotion. Stede can barely deal with his own big feelings. His fantasy doesn’t give the crew room to have them. Also, given the rest of the season, having Jim just let Ed be the person cradling Izzy doesn’t fit. The crew is also pretty stony at Izzy’s funeral.

I feel like it should be noted the last shot of Izzy in episode 7, he’s got one are around Jim and a hand on Lucius’s shoulder. He sat in Wee John’s lap in episode 6. Reactions to his death don’t make sense.

Also, Izzy’s terrible grave marker is very … Stede. He’d think it was a brilliant idea.

I didn't understand at first why Izzy had to die, even in Stede's dream world. Stede clearly likes him a lot better now. Why kill him? Well, it's because we're supposed to think Buttons is there to go to the Gravy Basket for Izzy. When actually he's already arrived in the Gravy Basket and he's there for Stede. Also, mentors die in pulp adventure novels. Stede sees Izzy as a mentor.

They go aboard the Revenge for Lucius and Pete’s wedding. It’s cute that the crew performs the ceremony, but I’d venture a guess that’s because Stede doesn’t know a captain should do it if it's legally binding. Stede does love the romance of it all.  The sudden uptick in monogamy is also very Stede. He barely understands monogamous relationships. Polyamory is beyond him.

Then Stede and Ed, who earlier told Zheng they’d help hunt Ricky, go back to the island where Izzy is buried to start an inn in a run down shack.  Stede knows Ed wants to do this because Ed told the (Taika’s) kids that they ran an inn.  We hear Ed ask “Jesus, what is that smell?” Now, at first, I thought Izzy, because Ed “knows the smell of my rotting first mate”. But what was the last thing to happen in Stede’s dream? A fart joke.

Last scene is Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave. To retrieve Izzy from the Gravy Basket? No, Izzy’s not dead. He’s with Jim and Lucius, probably watching over Stede’s corpse. Buttons is there to retrieve Stede.

This theory fixes the plot holes and dropped threads problem. We’re coming back to them next season. Ed's amends making should be far from over. And we see several moments during the season where he acknowledged that. And yet here on the island they've set up a horror movie and called it a happy ending.  Well, Stede is the type of boss who thinks things are fixed with a pizza (Calypso) party. In Stede's mind, this is a happy ending.  But really Ed is still off finding himself,  Stede is (temporarily) dead, and Izzy (who is not dead!) is probably guarding Stede's corpse.

They haven't resolved the domestic violence thread, but they haven't dropped it, either. Izzy is alive. Stede and Ed aren't together (yet). There's still time.

This also explains some of the freewheeling nonsense David Jenkins has been spouting in articles. Ed doesn’t see Izzy as a father figure and mentor, Stede does.  Stede almost turned to mush when Izzy approved of him. And David is writing a three volume adventure novel. Han Solo (Stede) is in carbonate (the Gravy Basket). The perfect end to the second act. See, I told you we’d get back to the Han Solo joke.

I still have problems with the season.  I really think they need a sensitivity reader. Even just implying a newly disabled character was fridged is certainly a choice. Especially given the amount of time devoted to how the character handled the disability. The DV scenes were brutal, as well as the suicide attempt, and the Human Puppet joke. I think they need someone trauma informed and disabled in the writer's room. (David Jenkins hit me up!)

Overall, I liked season 2. Especially once I realized Izzy wasn't dead. I'm looking forward to season 3, the conclusion of the Gentle Beard arc, and hopefully 6 seasons and a movie of Izzy (to be clear, he's not captain) and the kids sailing up and down the coast being gay and doing crimes, occasionally checking in with Stede and Ed.

Seriously, David, call me.

Historical Note: IRL Blackbeard died on November 22, 1718, killed in a naval battle off Ocracoke Island in North Carolina. IRL Stede Bonnet died December 10, 1718, hanged in Charles Town, South Carolina for piracy.  IRL Israel “Izzy” Hands survives piracy, death date unknown. I know this show doesn’t actually care about historical accuracy, but this lends a little support for my Ed died, then Stede died, and Izzy isn’t dead theory.

[spider-stark]

notes regarding the blackwood x bracken bullshit below - definite spoilers for season 2 episode 3 below the cut, as well as screenshots from the episode

for starters - what the fuck

okay, now that we have that out of the way: I don't care if his Davos, Benjicot, or Blackwood #3 -- it needs to be discussed how terrified that Bracken boy looked to even be in his presence. from the jump, he looks noticeably off-put and by the time he draws his sword, he looks like he's shaking in his goddamn boots, ok?

additionally, you cannot tell me it's not Bloody Ben behavior for this Blackwood to quite literally decide AGAINST drawing his own weapon before approaching this boy with a GRIN ON HIS MOTHER-FUCKING FACE only for it to then cut scene and we see the Bracken laying dead on the ground with his own sword jutting out of his throat.

I mean, they made a point of showing the pommel of the Bracken's sword prior to this scene. they wanted it to be clear he was slain with his own weapon, which - as I just said - would be such textbook BLOODY FUCKING BEN BEHAVIOR.

but, then, I propose this:

I think there is a good 99.9% chance that this is our boy. I would love to say I'm banking on the 00.1% that it's not, but I'll be honest guys - I'm not hopeful in the slightest. every aspect of the outfit that can be seen is practically identical to what the Blackwood (Benji/Davos/Whatever) was wearing previously.

with that being said, I feel like this scene was poorly executed if that's the case, considering we then go to the scene of Aegon's council so soon after and make it a point to say Samwell Blackwood was slain in battle -- that would have been more impactful to me if we had just seen the aftermath of Bloody Ben and, essentially, been formally introduced to the new Lord of Raventree Hall and Head of House Blackwood.

any and all opinions/comments/theories welcome because I am dying to discuss. additionally --- what the actual fuck do we do about the fan fiction

[szasfuckingwife]

SHAWTY FUCK WIT’ ME CUZ SHE KNOW I’M POPULAR

RICHBOY!EREN YEAGER X RICHGIRL!READER

WARNINGS: Smut, car sex, Jean tryna sabotage eren and y/n, swearing, weed, jealous sex, Jealous eren

SYNOPSIS: You and Eren have started your relationship and have become exclusive, but when Jean finds out, he decides that he wants you for himself..

A/N: I wanted to release this on the day i hit 1k but it’s cool💀 I made two drafts for pt 2, this and one and another one where eren invited Y/n over for dinner at his parents and she meets zeke. I dunno if i like this draft as much but I decided to release it cuz car sex wit eren???

This is pt2 of Soundgasm

It’s been months, and in those months , you’ve spent them with Eren. Yes, it was semi fucking, semi talking but it was with Eren nonetheless. Of course, you didn’t want to make it obvious to your parents that you were seeing someone- if you can even call it that. But, if you had the choice, you’d chill with Eren everyday.

Yet again, you were at the country club. Except this time, you were more than happy. Mainly due to Eren being behind you, holding your hands as you held the club. You swore that Eren couldn’t distract you when you were golfing and he put you to the test.

You couldn’t stop giggling as he kissed your neck and rested his chin on your shoulder, “Eren, you’re gonna make me miss it.”

“I thought you were the best golfer here?”, he put his cap on your head. His head was definitely bigger than yours. Despite that, he found it cute how it looked on you.

However, inside the country club building, a tall brunette stared at the touchy scene in front of him. It was his friend - or more frenemie - kissing on some girl. He’s seen you before from time to time. Jealousy didn’t show on his face but he was definitely feeling it inside.

“Jean, bro…is that Eren?” Connie, another teenager asked Jean. You’ve met Connie before, he’s a little to weird for you and quite literally the definition of ‘spoiled brat’. Splashing his parents cash as if it was spare change.

Jean nodded, “Who’s the girl?”

“That’s Y/N. I didn’t know they were close like that.” Connie raised a brow, scratching his bald head.

“I didn’t know that there was a ‘they’ anyway…” Jean muttered, pulling down his Cartier aviators.

You see, Jean didn’t love Eren. Yeah, that was his friend from middle school. And yes, they’d had a happy friendship until they grew into teenagers. Jean thought Eren would stay on the hockey team, like he promised. And when Eren turned around and joined the basketball team, getting all these offers angered Jean.

Not enough for Jean to be praying on Erens downfall, but enough for Jean to think that maybe, just maybe, you’d be happier with him.

When you guys finished golfing, Eren took you over to the bar, paying for both of your drinks. “You gonna come to my game this Saturday?”

“I haven’t missed one this season..” You smiled at him, causing butterflies to float in his stomach. “I don’t see why I’d miss this one.”

Eren loved when you came to his games. You were his motivation. Yeah, because he didn’t want to lose and embarrass himself in front of the girl he was so close calling his girlfriend. But, seeing your smile after scoring was enough for him.

“I’ll see if coach can get you better seats this time. What did your parents think of the last game-” “Eren!”

When you looked behind him, you saw three people walk up to you. Constance, who you’ve met, was smiling, dressed in a large, navy blue varsity jacket with a white hoodie underneath and the same coloured cargoes.

There was a brown haired girl, who you haven’t met. She wore a casual lilac summer dress with her hair up in a ponytail. Her eyes were huge, in a cute way. She smiled at you, her cheeks rosy and round.

The guy in the middle of them was the tallest out of the three of them, he may be taller than Eren. There were striking similarities between the two however. For starters, they were both tall, brunettes, pretty eyes. He wore a tight long sleeved white top and some joggers. There was no doubt about it, he was definitely intimidating but weirdly, he wore a smile on his face.

“You didn’t tell me you’ve got a girl..” The taller boy wrapped his arm around Erens neck. You saw him put a little bit of pressure as Eren began chuckling. “All grown up now, huh?”

“Shut up, Jean..” Eren responded, smiling after seeing his best friend. “Y/N, this is Jean, Sasha and Connie.”

They all smiled at you and you gave one back. “Connie? Is that a nickname?” You asked.

“Don’t tell me he gave you that bullshit about his name being Constance.” Jean cackled, his friend’s cheek going red with embarrassment. “It’s a name his grandma gave him and she’s the only reason why he can call himself a quarter Dominican.”

Connie barked out insults at Jean earning a few heads to turn towards your group at the bar. You all continued to laugh. Jean especially payed close attention to your smile and how pretty it looked.

After you all had your drinks, you all chose to chill outside, soaking up in the sun. A conversation had already begun but, it was mainly Jean giving Eren shit.

“I told you if you stayed doing hockey, we would’ve made it big.” Jean sighed as Eren rolled his eyes for the nth time.

“You do hockey?” You ask.

He smiles at your curiosity, “Yeah, I do. Our team are on our third championship and hopefully, getting our fourth by next Friday.”

Eren watches as Jean continues to babble about hockey. He sees the face he makes. That one face where he seems unbothered but Jean’s really trying to impress you.

“I see you do golf. Well, we all did this morning.” As Jean spoke, Connie held back laughter, disguising it with a cough. Sasha seemed to be confused to and nudged Connie, hoping he’d tell her.

It took a few minutes before you realised they probably saw you and Eren playing together. A shy laugh leaves your mouth, “It was just practice. Eren’s a little rusty…”

“Oh, he’s rusty in golf too? He was rusty in the court too is what I’m hearing.” The table falls into silence after Jeans dig at Eren. You fear Eren will retaliate, cause a scene. But all Eren does is chuckle as he eats the last of his sorbet.

“Who you hearin that from?” Eren asked.

“People in your team, Yeager.” Jean smirks.

The tension that was now at your table couldn’t even be cut with a knife, it’d need something much greater. You can barely hear anyone breathe let alone talk.

You look at Eren, attempting to get him to look at you back but, he doesn’t

However, Connie clears his throat after a few seconds of silence, “Well, Eren I know you have a game on Saturday which is why I’m being so generous and throwing a party on Sunday. And of course, Y/n and yourself are invited.”

It took a lot of convincing from you in order for Eren to say yes to going to Connie’s party. He was filled with excuses, ‘i’ll be too tired from the game’ and ‘Connies parties are too much’. But once he heard you say you wanted to go so you can meet his friends, he knew it was just out of the kindness of your heart.

So, on Sunday, Eren picks you up in his Mercedes - what he didn’t mention was that he begged his father to give him the car so he could impress you.

It did kinda hurt when you didn’t gawk at his car but he didn’t mind it. Maybe you just weren’t impressed by material items.

When he pulled up to Connies house, you were both immediately met with a loud bass that shook the whole neighbourhood. Eren sighed before walking into the house, he wasn’t a frequent party guy but he enjoyed them.

As soon as you walked in, the smell of weed and alcohol met your nostrils. Random people were all over each other, kissing, grinding or shotgunning. Eren made sure your hand was in his at all times, he didn’t want one of these weirdos talking to you.

“I-Is that Eren Yeager?!” Connie walked up to the two of you with open arms. It took you by surprise how he hugged the both of you. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“I didn’t want to.” Eren muttered.

“Your house is beautiful, Connie. Why would your parents let you do this?” You chuckled.

You saw Connie’s eyes shift left and right before he shrugged. “They don’t know.” He saw your mouth open as you were about to say something. “And they don’t need to know.”

You sighed before Connie asked if you guys wanted any drinks and went to go get you something. Eren said something but due to the very loud music drowning him out, you replied with a “What?!”.

“Come dance!” He said. “Need to let everyone know you’re mine..”

A smirk grew on your face as you realised what this all was about. “Is Eren Yeager jealous?”

Eren quickly looked away. He doesn’t get jealous, mainly because he’s used to getting what he wants when he wants. And God help whoever tries to take that away from him.

After Connie came back with drinks, you let loose. The alcohol made you less reserved, causing you to start new conversations with randoms around the house.

Eren doesn’t usually dance but when he felt you grind against his crotch, Eren suddenly felt some rhythm in his legs. It was almost like you were right back on the field having him help you practice with golf.

This scene was a little more intimate and a little more risqué. His hot breath hit your neck before he kissed it. You felt his strong hands grip on your hips subtly moving your hips to where he wanted them.

It was getting way too hot. You turned around and looked at him in the eye. His pretty eyes were lidded as he looked down at you. The corner of his lips were curled up into a grin, he wanted to kiss you so bad.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” You whisper into his ear. “Afterwards, I want you to take me somewhere - anywhere - and fuck me…”

Eren watched as you walked away so innocently. Sweetly asking Connie where’s the bathroom and politely asking people to excuse you.

He’d fulfil your wish.

Unexpectedly, you were met with a long queue to Connies bathroom. You weren’t even sure if some of the people in the line were even there to go to the bathroom but rather for a quickie.

“I know he doesn’t know you that well but Connie really made you use this bathroom…?” A low voice spoke behind you. When you turned around, Jean stood with a grin plastered on his face.

You chuckle, “There’s another bathroom?”

Jean puts his index finger by his lips, “Don’t tell everyone.” He whispers causing you to giggle. “It’s his parent’s on suite. Come, I’ll take you.”

Nothing was stopping you from following him. You were desperate for the toilet and the quicker you can do your business, the quicker you can get back to Eren.

Jean opens the door, holding it open for you to pass.

“That one…” He points at the door and you thank him before running to the bathroom. You finish your business and look in the mirror to take a good look at your appearance.

All that dancing had done something to your make up. You chuckle as you notice how your eye bags seemed slightly darker from your mascara and how your lip gloss was slightly smudged.

Once you leave the bathroom, you were met with Jean sitting on Connie’s parent bed, lighting a blunt. His eyes were on you as he placed it in between his lips.

“You’re gonna get Connie in trouble when his parents come home and their bed smells like weed..” You chuckle, finding a place on the bed to sit.

He shrugs, “The windows are up. Besides, they love me. I’m like the golden child in their eyes.”

You chuckle. The atmosphere was strange. Jean seemed like a chill guy but he was definitely arrogant in some way. All thoughts left your mind, however, when Jean took the blunt out of his lips and passed it to you.

“Nah, I don’t..smoke..” You smiled. “You shouldn’t either, Mr championship hockey player. It’s bad for your lungs and shit.”

He shakes his head grinning. “I don’t do it often. It’s just tonight, I wanna relax.”

“You better not do it often. When you make it big, it might be detrimental.” You mutter. Jean sees the way you play with your fingers and he can’t tell if you’re nervous or if that’s a habit.

Whatever it is, it’s cute.

“When I make it big, huh? What makes you think I’ll make it big?” He asks, he moves himself slightly closer to you but not too close where you’re uncomfortable.

You look at him. “You have an athlete persona. And, the way you were making it sound in the country club, you were destined for greatness.”

Jean shrugs, as if he doesn’t care. But he’s smiling in his head because he knows he’ll make it big. All the offers and scholarships piled at his front door aren’t just imaginary.

“Nah..” Jean chuckles. “I been playin since I could walk it feels like. My mom…she wasn’t filthy rich when I was born so it was hard to get me lessons. But when she slowly became richer, I’ve been at the top of my game. I owe it all to her, really.”

A smile adorns your face as you hear him talk about his mother. “How about you? I hear you do…golf?”

You then go on to ramble how you’ve been playing golf for a little over ten years now and how everyone thinks it’s boring, but it’s fun for you.

“And, you teaching Eren how to golf now?” He looks at you smugly. Something was telling you that Eren would be brought up. “He never seemed that interested before he met you I assume.”

You shrug, “He’s…good. But yeah, basketball is his thing. Golf is definitely mine.” You chuckle but Jean doesn’t. He just grins, and looks away.

The room falls silent as Jean continues to smoke, “You like him?”

The question almost catches you off guard, was it not clear in the country club?, “Yeah…I really do. He’s been great.”

Your answer leaves Jean a little more jealous than he should be. However, he does nothing but chuckle. “I’ve seen this happen so many times, y’know?”

“Seen what happen?”

He looks at you, blankly, “Eren gets a girl to fall in love with him and in the end, he leaves them for dust. It’s happened to that girl, Historia? Don’t know if you know her?”

Jean knew that what he was saying was a lie. Well, it was a half lie. Eren and Historia briefly dated and it was a very nasty break up. It was filled with toxicity from both parties and the relationship would’ve rot had it continued. But that was Eren’s first toxic relationship.

Ask any of his previous girlfriends, apart from Historia, they’d tell you that he was the one that got away.

“No..No, I don’t.” You answer. Was everything Eren told you a lie? Like how he’s never felt like this about anyone? Was it all just bullshit?

The conversation that was ahead didn’t appeal to you, so you stood from the bed. “Thanks for the conversation, Jean. It was nice getting to know you.”

He stands too, “It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have said all that about Eren. It’s none of my business…It’s the weed talkin..”

“No, you might’ve just opened my eyes a little.” You sigh, walking to leave the bedroom.

When you open the door, you were met with those same pretty eyes you’d been looking at for months. He looks at you, then behind you to see Jean. You can see him mentally try to connect the dots, but it’s too late. It didn’t help that your lip gloss was smudged.

“Eren..” You say, before he storms away.

You follow Eren outside as he marches back to his car. Obviously, from his perspective, he’s seen the girl he likes and his friend in a room that smells of weed. And, your lip gloss smudged.

But you have questions of your own. “Eren, stop..”

“Just get in the car, I’ll drop you home.” He sighs as he opens his side of the car. Normally, he’d walk over and open your door first. But he’s mad, furious.

The car ride starts off silent. Well, for the most part. The roading chants from Connie’s house echo throughout the driveway.

“Did you make out with him? Or fuck him?” He asks, like it’s an ordinary question.

You look at him in disbelief, “You’re not serious..”

“What? I’m seeing my girl and my friend in a room, what am I supposed to think?” He scoffs.

In any other situation, the way Eren called you ‘my girl’ would make your cheeks grow warm. But now is not the time, “I can’t speak to one of your friends?”

“Was that you were doing?” Eren asks sarcastically.

“Yeah, it was. And the things he told me about you surprised me the most.” You scoff back at him before crossing your arms and staring out the window.

Eren stays silent for a second, “What’d he say?”

“We talked about Historia. And how that and every other relationship you’ve had was toxic as hell.”

If Eren wasn’t driving, he’d snap his head to look at you in total disbelief. What Eren were you guys talking about? Because it surely isn’t Eren Yeager.

The same Eren Yeager who picked flowers from his mothers flowerbed to give to his first girlfriend before she cheated on him? Or the same Eren Yeager who was left soaked after giving girlfriend no.2 his jacket when it was raining like crazy?

“Y/N, I know you’re smart, c’mon..” He sighs. “He’s only saying that so you look at me differently.”

“And why would he-” “Because he’s attracted to you, Y/N!” He says, at this point he’s beyond annoyed. Finding out Jean was trying to jeopardise his new relationship was enough, but finding out you believed him?! Icing on the cake.

Once Eren says those words, it’s like everything clicked for you. That’s why he threw shade at eren at the country club.

“Ask any ex of mine, I was nothing but good to them..” Eren sighs. “Historia…Historia was the only toxic one. She cheated first, then I cheated. And yeah, I regret it. But…I was hurt.”

You look at him, full of regret. “I’m…I’m sorry, for not believing you..”

He shakes his head. “It’s whatever.”

The rest of the car ride is silent before Eren stops at a red light. You can tell this whole situation has pissed him off. But, there’s nothing you can do to regain his trust.

“One question, though..” Eren muttered. You turned to look at him straight away.

“You didn’t fuck him?”

You sighed, smiling slightly. “No, Eren. I barely even looked at him.”

“Good.” He turned into a car park and parked there. “Come ride me..”

The casualness in which he said that surprised you. But, it was the least you could do. Awkwardly, you made your way to sit on his lap.

Eren grabbed the back of your neck and pushed your face towards his, inviting you into a lengthy and sloppy kiss. His anger was radiating from the kiss alone as his other hand began to grab your ass from behind.

You felt his pull your skirt up slightly so he could grab your panties. That’s when you heard a loud rip. You immediately felt the absence of your panties but you didn’t care. For now, all that mattered was making him feel good.

“Eren..I want you..” Eren smiled into the kiss after hearing your words. His hands went down to his joggers, pulling them down so his dick sprung out.

It was hard and throbbing against you. “Maybe we should argue more often.” He smiled at you, before kissing you again.

The feeling if Eren’s cock sliding in between your folds made you crazy. You wanted nothing but for him to thrust inside you, but you knew that you couldn’t be too impatient.

“This is what you wanted, hm? Talking to my friends, tryna get me jealous so I could fuck you like a whore, huh?” He whispered in your ear. You didn’t answer, the feeling of Eren against you making you unable to form words. “Answer me, Y/N.”

You nod, biting your lip. Suddenly, you feel a sharp slap on your bare ass. “Y/N, you’ve been pissing me off all night, use your words.”

“Yes!” You whimper. “I just wanted you to fuck me..”

Eren knows that was the case all along. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have grind on him like no one was watching.

Finally, Eren pushes his cock inside you. You gasp at the feeling, gripping onto his shoulders tightly. Eren smirks as your hips begin to rock, slowly but it feels amazing.

A string of moans leave your plump lips. Eren groans at the way your pussy tightens around him ever so slightly. “You’re fucking mine, okay?”

You nod again, forgetting how Eren wants you to speak. He thrusts up into you roughly, earning a loud moan from you. His strokes are quick and satisfying. You feel like you’re gonna cum before he abruptly stops.

“Ren..” You whine.

“You want me to fuck you like that? Then, fucking speak when I’m talking to you.” His voice is low as he tells you what he wants.

You begin to bounce on his cock. Obviously, it’s quite cramped because cars aren’t made for sex. But you make it work. Eren’s hands grip tightly on your hips as you speed up.

And Eren so badly wants to rip your shirt to see your beautiful boobs. But he knows hes dropping you back to your parents.

So, he settles for pulling up your top, exposing your tits. He greedily sucks and kisses all over them. If your mind wasn’t already scrambled by his dick, this would send you.

“Eren, fuck..feels too good..” You whimper.

He notices you slowing down and slaps your ass again, “Don’t slow down. You were talking all that shit earlier, like you know shit..”

A whine leaves your mouth again as you try to bounce on his cock as feverishly as you did before. But you just don’t have that much energy.

“You need some help, huh?” He asks and you mewl out a small, ‘please’.

Immediately, you feel Eren snap his hips up into you, fucking you hard and deep. You lose your breath for a second before gnashing your teeth down on your lip, attempting to muffle your moans.

His lips are back on your tits and then they travel up to your neck, hard enough to leave marks. You try to stop him, realising that if your parents see a hickey, they’d be angry as hell. But, all efforts are futile.

“You gonna speak to Jean again?” He says, breathlessly.

“N-No!”

His hands slap your ass a few more times, “I know, baby. Because you’re mine, hm? These tits are mine, this pussy is mine, yeah?”

You nod, this time Eren doesn’t care because he so close to cumming. “You’re about to make me come, baby. I can feel you’re close.”

“I’m so fucking close, Ren..” You hug him as he fucks you even more faster than he did before. Eren groans out a ‘Fuck!’ before you cum all over him, causing him to cum too.

The car smells like pure sex as you and Eren try to regain your breath. He looks up at you and kisses you. It’s a softer kiss but it still sends butterflies to your stomach.

“Be my girlfriend.” He mutters in between kisses.

You look at him and smile. “I’d be honoured..”

[madridfangirl]

Star Crossed Lovers - Blurb from Ch 9

(Full Ch coming soon - pls bear with me)

Series Link

.................................................................

The first time Jude discussed his relationship at home, it didn’t go down too well.

He told Jobe in a long call one night.

‘I knew it.’

‘No, you guessed it.’

‘Well, I guessed right. You are too easy to read.’

‘Shut up. M not.’

‘Whatever. Does Mum know?’

‘No. Unless she’s guessed it too. She said something to you?’

‘No. How come I knew sitting here & she doesn’t have any wind of it?’

‘Coz you’re nosy.’

‘You mean smart. M smart.’

‘No, I mean nosy.’

‘Bro, you sure you’re ready for this?’

His voice suddenly turned serious. Big brotherly. He was doing that more & more lately. Those who called Jude mature for his age didn’t know what Jobe could be like at times.

‘I want this.’

‘Those are two different things.’

‘I’ll make it happen if I want it. You know that.’

‘If you say so.’

Jude didn’t like the skepticism in his brother’s voice. There was nothing he couldn’t achieve once he set his mind to it. No one thought he’ll have the record setting season with Birmingham at 16. Or the record breaking move to Dortmund at 17. Or the galactico signing to Madrid at 20. Or being a starter in the national team as quickly as he did. Proving people wrong was not new for him, he liked the challenge. Even if the person knew him as well as Jobe did. 

Sure he’ll have to give up aspects of his lifestyle. The thrill of being with new women, the rush of making them fall for him, the adrenaline of being their first choice, the excitement of first times, the satisfaction of the impact he had on them, leaving them coming back for more, never having enough of him, the ease of no ties / commitments. It all worked for him at this stage of his life. 

But something had consistently drawn him towards this girl from the moment they first met. She was a lot more than someone he just wanted in his bed (he wanted that too, desperately). She was a friend, a confidante, an advisor. Someone he sought after anything good or anything bad. She was comfort. She was warmth. She was peace. She was fun. She was his girlfriend.

His girlfriend.

Why hadn’t they said that to each other yet? It had to be rectified immediately.

Jude called her right away. She woke up with a jump.

‘What happened? All ok?’

‘Just wanted to hear my girlfriend’s voice.’

She missed the context in her grogginess.

‘It’s 2 am. I have to get up at 7 am. Are you fucking nuts?’

‘Is my girlfriend mad at me?’

‘YES. Your girlfriend is LIVID….’

She paused. He waited for it to dawn on her, what was just said.

‘Don’t leave your boyfriend hanging, dove.’

He heard the little gasp she let out at the other end.

‘M coming over. Wanna hear these noises in person.’

‘Ok.’

Next morning, as she got ready for work, she had to apply a ton of makeup to cover the marks on her neck and shoulders. While he remained sprawled on the bed, enjoying the scene, commenting when she missed a spot, ignoring the daggers she was throwing at him as she was getting late.

........................................................

(Series Link)

Hope you like where this is going, this chapter will be a roller coaster!

Thank you for all the DMs guys. I am back to writing these two and the next few chapters should come soon :)

[hotties4eva]

the fall of the mountain [a.thompson x reader]

prompt: the pressure of being a pro gets to alyssa and her way of expressing that comes out more aggressive than it should. good thing you are here for her.

author notes: had to write something for my #2 wifey in the uswnt, so thank you to the person who asked for alyssa angst+comfort and fuck you to tumblr for making me delete that ask. hope y'all enjoy this!

alyssa's hands are clenching tightly on the steering wheel as she drives. you can see her poking her tongue though her cheek which is one of her many habits when she is stressed. you two just came from an angel city game with alyssa obviously being a starter for the game and you being there to help a seasoned journalist to cover the game. it was apart of your internship to help out and edit sports pieces.

the game didn't go the way angel city wanted with the portland thorns beating them six to four. you can just see the wheels spinning in alyssa's head about what she could have done to prevent the win; why she couldn't find another opportunity to secure a goal.

"we can stop and get takeout if you want? my treat," you say quietly. testing the waters to see how badly your girlfriend was feeling. she is silent for a moment until y'all reach a red light, looking over at you. "i don't really care so.." she shrugs before going back to focusing on the road. her words are so nonchalant and cold. they make you frown, but you hold out on asking her about her feelings for when you two reach her apartment.

the interaction settling in your mind as you press the chinese food place number and hold up the phone to your ear.

after getting the food, arriving at alyssa's place, and eating the food, your girlfriend still hasn't said more than two words to you. thank you is the only thing she said once you paid and got the food earlier.

the silence from her is starting to get concerning, so you decide it's time for you to get a peek into her mind.

"lyss, can you just talk to me?" you say as you place a hand on her leg. she's sitting beside you on the couch and all her attention is focused on whatever netflix show is playing on the tv. the american player moves away from your touch, giving you a quick glance. "talk to you about what?" alyssa murmurs.

"you know what. the game, how you're feeling, why you're being so cold to me..." you try to scoot closer to her, but once again she moves away. that annoys you so much that you sigh heavily.

"there is nothing to talk about," alyssa replies. the lack of expression sitting on her face doesn't her eyes. you can see the regret and sadness swirling around in her eyes. seeing her so closed off makes you feel so frustrated. not with her, but more with the unknown reason she is feeling that way that she isn't telling you. "obviously it is if you are acting like this" you snap at her. the words come out before you could even think.

alyssa stands before glaring at you, "acting like what? you're mad at me because i won't talk to you about the game? this isn't some press conference, so honestly i don't have to tell you shit!"

you are taken back by her words, standing up to meet her face to face. "i'm not asking from a reporter standpoint. i'm asking as your girlfriend cause you know partners tell each other things instead of acting all moody like a toddler!" you shout back at her. half of the words you say you don't even mean but being treated like you basically don't exist since the game isn't helping you act rational.

alyssa and you go back & forth for several more minutes. each sentence said being a shot at the other. the loss of the game is weighing down on alyssa's mind as she voices out all her anger at you and you aren't being much better. giving back your girlfriend just as much aggression.

"you wouldn't understand anything about what i have to go through. you're just some college student right now and i'm out here playing infront of thousands of people, it's not the same!" she says before finally storming out of the living room and down the hall to her bedroom. you still stand in the living room not even sure of what to do. the heat of the moment cools down and finally you realize how shitty what just happened was. you and alyssa just had a bad argument right after a game loss that you knew alyssa was feeling bad about it.

you walk around the couch to go to the counter, grabbing the keys to alyssa's car and leaving out of the door. on your way to buy a few things to make up for the argument. hopefully alyssa is ready to apologize too when you come back

when you come back to the apartment it's around ten. a small bouquet of flowers along with alyssa's favorite candy are in your hands as you walk inside and close the door shut with your body. you slip your shoes off before walking to alyssa's bedroom. the only sound in the apartment being the tv that was left on from earlier and your footsteps.

the door to the bedroom is slightly left open so it's easy for you to just walk in. frowning once you see alyssa laying under her blankets, a vanilla scented candle burning on her desk. that's the only light in the room as you walk inside. sitting down beside her.

"lyss?" you say softly as you look at her. she is still not facing you, but you can tell she is awake.

"hm?" she mumbles.

"can you face me, baby?"

the american player turns over, letting out a small smile as she spots the goodies in your hands. you sit down the candy on the bed before giving her the bouquet of tulips. "thank you..." alyssa says softly as she accepts the flowers. turning back around to set them aside on the nightstand before coming back to face you. instead of laying down, she sits up so you two are actually at the same face level.

you decide to apologize first, "i'm sorry for snapping at you and all the things i said while we were arguing. i didn't mean any of it, i was just so frustrated you were closing yourself off to me."

alyssa sighs heavily before speaking, "no, i'm the one who should be sorry. you were right when you said we are supposed to tell each other our problems. i didn't mean not one thing i said, you aren't just some college student. you're going places, y/n.." she looks at you to see how you are reacting before continuing, "it's just.. i feel like i don't deserve any of this. i couldn't even help get another goal in the net."

hearing the loathing in alyssa's tone makes you pull her close. all the feelings that have been building up in alyssa's chest since the end of the match spill out as she lets the tears that have been waiting in her eyes out. you rub gentle circles on her back as she cries into your shoulder.

"i was the number one pick from the draft, but it doesn't feel like it. sometimes i feel like i don't play like it. than it's not just games, but we have press conferences after and i have to sit in a chair with a bunch of reporters asking questions that i feel too tired to even answer. it's just all too much," she says into your shoulder. you stay silent, just letting her get everything out. in that moment you realize just how different the amount of pressure is on you compared to alyssa. when she fails, there are hundreds of eyes that follow. when you fail, it's your own personal hurdle.

you two just enjoy the embrace of one another for a few more moments with alyssa still sniffling a bit. once you hear her go silent, you pull back just enough to look at her. the american player just tries to lean back onto you, but you keep her away.

you hold her face in your hands, looking at the tear stains on that gorgeous face of hers. "you know you're a great player, baby. everyone else can see it too, that's why you were the number one pick right out of highschool and that's why you were called up for the national team. that's why people expect so much from you," you chuckle as alyssa starts to let out a shy smile. "however that doesn't mean you have to hold all this weight on your shoulders. i'm here for you, your teammates are here for you, and your family is too. everything is a team effort, lyss, so don't ever blame just yourself" you let go of her face before pulling her back into your arms.

she laughs into your shoulder as she holds onto you. "now i feel like that argument was so stupid," alyssa says.

"i mean duh but something good came out of it so it's whatever" you say back. alyssa pulls you down onto the pillows and you happily let her. smiling as she nuzzles up to your neck. "yeah.. well, that was too much crying for one day. i'm sleepy.." she mumbles, seemly already half asleep. you don't realize how exhausted you are until alyssa mentions her own sleepiness, so you just fall silent and let yourself drift off to sleep too.

[lunalikestowriteanddraw]

Can I just take a moment to praise OUAW (and the LOA cast as a whole), and their subtle yet VERY effective method of storytelling?

(Spoilers for OUAW below the cut)

For starters; the mix of comedy and gut-punch, and how they usually lure the audience into a false sense of security using humor, before hitting them with a really dark and angsty moment/episode, and then jumping right back into comedy to cut the tension.

Don’t believe me? Fuck, listen to episode fucking ONE, which inadvertently introduces this whole method that the continue to do for the rest of the campaign (and maybe others, im not entirely sure, but I’ve noticed this same method for Icebound, but almost in the reverse). The whole episode is full of jokes and antics, before hitting us with the (really depressing) death of a fairy at the end of the episode, immediately turning the mood around. And then the following 15 EPISODES were just a whole lot of fun and chaos.

Jokes and antics > depressing moment > more jokes and antics

Or how about episodes 41 and 42? They were joking around and doing their usual antics, before tensions rose with the death of Twig and everything afterwards, and then in episode 43 they spent the first hour as dancing singing mushrooms

Humor > angst > humor

Or episode 46? The first two thirds of the episode, the party were turned into toys and it was just…absolute chaos. Before they all got killed by the Jabberwock

However, I also noticed that episode 47 onward, this changed. Dont get me wrong, they still joke around and do their usual antics, but it seemed like it stopped being as a way to try and shrug off what just happened. Though, I guess this could partially be because of the circumstances, all things considered. Though I’m interested to see where season 2 takes us with this.

Also; character arcs. Or perhaps the lack thereof? I’m honestly not sure, to be honest.

There has been a change in these characters throughout the campaign thus far, don’t get me wrong. But these changes have been so incredibly subtle that you won’t even notice that they are going through a character arc unless you’re specifically looking for it.

Like how Torbek has been growing more confident—both in general and in his abilities; or how Gricko has been slowly shedding his “comic relief” exterior to show just WHY he’s a valued member of the party (other than his ability to heal); and fuck, I’ve even noticed a bit of a change in Kremy and Gideon (tho I can’t quite place what that character arc is, or when it started, but there IS a character arc happening here)

And like, I’m generally pretty good at picking up subtleties like this from media (in fact, most of my fics and character studies/analysis require this), but somehow OUAW managed to make their character arcs so subtle that I completely missed that there even WAS a character arc even happening until it suddenly reared its head (again, like with Torbek and Gricko)

It’s so subtle yet so effective and I just…agh! I can’t wholly verbally express how much I love the storytelling and character development in OUAW, it’s so good

[akascow]

the more posts i see about tua4 the more im convinced none of the writers went back and watched the previous seasons because literally so much is wrong dude HAHA

annoying words under the break and spoilers !!

for starters since when has allison ever helped klaus in the previous seasons🧍🏻‍♀️ it was always diego man. im glad he got to be the fun but very cautious uncle for claire but allison rarely helped klaus with anything except in s2 where they just got drunk together on the kitchen floor HAHA

also lila 'i dont like bracelets' pitts who was already shown making bracelets in 2 (with diego), losing her bracelet at the end of 2, then diego giving it back to her in 3 (and she wore that shit !!) all for it to be thrown away for whatever the fuck happened in the strawberry timeline lol

this ones a throwaway rant but 1) why did none of the fives in that diner experience paradox psychosis and 2) whyd they all look the same lol u cant tell me every five chose to wear the same exact suit with the same haircut (and the same age appearance wise!!)

someone already said this one so dont credit me but five wouldve 1000000% recognized his apocalypse that second he stepped outta that train (by the smell) and would not need to look around for 10 seconds at the debris he spent like 40 years in to clock it as ".....i know this place,, its my apocalypse" lmfao yeah man

not gonna get into this one but raymond "id rather spend a day with you than a year without you" chestnut would never fuckin walk out on allison and claire lol WHAT

anotha one that ppl have already mentioned but ben wouldve told klaus what happened to him when he died right? like he stuck around for 15 years because he wasnt ready to leave his siblings he for sure woulda mentioned it at some point right 🧍🏻‍♀️

and biggest of all (for me bc its been bugging me) but if lila had to be there in the end "otherwise itd just reset again" then why the hell didnt the other oct 1st people need to be there too are we just supposed to forget about them (RAHHH) if the reasoning is that they shouldve never existed (awful reasoning btw) then why do the others get a free pass HUH?? unless theyre like "well the cleanse took over the entire world so they got slorped up too" or "the others died a while ago these 8 are the last marigold kids" which is a stupid cop out and i will not accept it lmao.

also they never went anywhere with reggies alien self HAHA not a problem w me bc i do not care about him at all but like,, why was he an alien (i cant remember if they explained it in the comics but) HAHA whatever man

[isawas-here]

~~~~~SUNKISSED PART 3~~~~~~

(grumpy x sunshine , age gap, oral/ SEXUAL THEMES!!!!)

I just wanted to say sorry guys that I haven’t been active in so long but oh my lordy lord rafe looks so good this season HEHEHE)

You guys pulled up to the sandy beaches, the grass blowing slowly in the wind. Rafe puts the truck in park and he gets out the door. You go to open it but he stops you. “I got it”. He opens his door and jogs around to your side. Your hair blocks the blush you had on your face. “Wow what a gentleman” you tease. He smirks at you. He opens the back door and pulls out a blanket and 2 beers. You watched him silently wondering how he had this set up. Maybe he was waiting on you this entire time. After all you guys did have tension every time you talked. He started walking down the sandy path towards the icy cold water. “You comin darlin?”. You stood there for a second quickly picking up you pace as you followed him. There was no one around, it seemed to fit knowing that it was late in the night. Rafe put down the blanket and sat down waiting for you. You quickly sat down next to him as he handed you a beer. You heard him take a deep sigh and begin to speak. “So what really are you Rivers?” you laughed in confusion. “What do you mean” you smiled at him and then taking a swig of the bitter darkish liquid. “Well for starters you aren’t a “Kook” and you’re not a “Pouge”. You eyed him as he looked out towards the water. “Why does it matter?” You responded. He then looked at you deep into your eyes before taking a sip of his beer. “Nothin, but you should be careful who you hang out with. Nobody is what they seem”. You felt a chill craw up your spine. You slightly shiver. “What are saying, should I trust you Mr. Cameron” you move your hair over your shoulder as smirk. “You know you aren’t as sweet as people think you are Rivers.” Your eyebrow is raised. You can feel it. You don’t,now if it’s the drinks you had before or there was something in the beer you just had but ;you knew what was going to happen next. “Oh yeah?” You look at Rafe’s lips and back to his eyes. You slightly lick your lips. You and Rafe are so close you swear you can hear his heart beating. The next thing you hear is Rafe breathy “yeah”. Crash. You are now on top of Rafe straddling him. You and him are making out but they get sloppier as he tries to tug of your shirt. Rafe keeps one arm aloud of you and the other going to your bra. He quickly undoes it and rips the bra off, his mouth going directly to your chest. He starts kissing down your neck to your breast. His tongue flicks your nipple and your back arches. You can feel Rafes smirk. Rafe continues your palms digging into Rafe’s shoulders. “fuckkkkk” you whine. You involuntary roll your hips on Rafe’s crotch making him groan in pleasure. Rafe tells you to get off and he unzips his pants shimming them off. You can see the boner in his pants as he lays on his back. You kiss his cock through his boxers and tease him a little. You pull them off as you start kissing him from his balls to tip. Rafe’s hips roll and you earn a whine from him. You kiss his tip and take him into your mouth, you suck his length. He starts thrusting himself into your mouth and you gag on his cock. Tears are on the brink of your eyes. You hear curses from him as he releases into your mouth. You get on your knees and open your mouth he looks at you. “Good girl”. You swallow and Rafe lays you on your back, kissing you from your stomach down your pussy. “Aw look at these!” You had forgotten you wore your white underwear with red maraschino cherries and a little bow at the top. Rafe kisses your clothed pussy. You’re already soaked him adding pressure was just it. You fist the blanket under you guys your back arching a bit. “Rafe please!” he asked no time taking off your panties and finding your entrance. He slips his middle finger into your pussy as he sucks your clit. “Fuck you don’t know how long I wanted to do this. To RUIN you”. Rafe mumbles as he soaked up all your juices. You’re so close and you close your thighs around his head, only to give him an advantage fining your g spot. Rafe’s movements get faster as he fingers your cunt. You unravel on him as your grind you pussy on him. “FUCKKK” you cry out.

[showtoonzfan]

HELLUVA BOSS: S2E4 REVIEW

Ganna be honest, this episode wasn’t AS bad as I thought it would be, like I’m lowkey shocked. It’s certainly not the worst out of what we’ve seen, and it didn’t piss be off to high heaven, especially since the runtime is short and Blitz and Stolas are away from one another here, but….it still wasn’t….good, so let’s get into it.

So everyone already knows this episode was….so fast paced. Andrealphus doesn’t even get a proper introduction, and like I said before, in the span of one fucking minute, we have Stolas and Stella petty banter, Andrealphus, and Striker coming back to kidnap him. For starters, Yayy….glad to see Stolas and Stella acting like petty middle schoolers towards eachother. I was right when I said that the writers can’t figure out what they want their dynamic to be. Like….this is supposed to be the same couple that’s in an abusive serious situation, and it kinda doesn’t make me take them seriously if they’re just swearing at each other and bickering Viv. Also, glad to know the writers are outright saying “cheating is okay”- simply because Stella never liked him, so again….way to take the flaws Stolas had in season 1 and completely erase them and excuse them, just because you want Stolas to be in the right. It’s so distracting how fucking retconned they are, they might as well just have said “Stolas did nothing wrong” in Loo Loo Land if these were the writer’s true colors all along, but since Viv wrote this episode, I’m not surprised.

They hyped Andrealphus up but he gets like….two scenes and doesn’t do much like…lmao. In The Circus, again…they try to make it clear that divorce in the Goetia family is uwu serious, and Stella mentions Andrealphus, implying that he would be upset, or is a threat. When we actually meet him tho, he isn’t even….upset about the divorce? Why did Stella mention him then? What was the point of foreshadowing him and having Stolas say he doesn’t care what he thinks if Andrealphus was just going to be all like “oh you’re getting divorced? Okay, give us money then”- like it’s so fucking underwhelming but we’ll get back to him and Stella later. Also we see that Stolas has a scheduled meeting with Ozzie, implying that he may be trying to get that crystal after all. But…can this show just fucking….stop teasing us with future shit and just do it already? I’m so tired of the show dangling plot threads to come later in our face but they either NEVER come or the execution is underwhelming.

Blitz continues to be the most annoying and unfunny character in the entire show. His jokes and dialogue are a fucking pain to sit through and the scene where he’s trying to announce his appointment and fights with the lady in the waiting room drags and is unneeded. In fact, this whole side plot was unneeded. Viv doesn’t know how to fucking balance this show, she wants episodes to be serious and story driven but have a slice of life filler side plot at the same time and guess what? It doesn’t work or blend well. The constant cut aways are distracting from the main plot and you could have used this premise for a different episode. Loona doesn’t even have any dialogue, you could have at least improved the relationship between her and Blitz or had a moment of her being thankful that he was here and comforting her, appreciating him more….ya know….character development……..something that would have made this side plot actually useful since this is supposed to be a fucking “character driven” show about the relationships between the characters, but no. This side plot existed to pat out the run time and give Blitz and Loona something to do so they’re not just sitting there. As usual Loona does nothing, is useless and only there for the furry porn. The shot of her butt with the needle was 100% on purpose, I can tell.

(Also we’re on season 2 and only now finally get to see an upfront interaction of Imps being treated as the lower class, but it doesn’t do anything. This show tells us instead of showing us, they constantly remind you that imps are at the bottom but Blitz still literally has a good job that pays well and aside from the wrath imps providing food too feed hell, there’s no exploration of how imps having it lower than any other demon species. If anything it seems like Imps and the rest of the Hellborn species are all on the same ranking because Viv can’t storytell.) Also what is with the bleeping? I really don’t get it, it’s not funny and it’s distracting, making scenes awkward.

Predicted it, but Moxxie and Millie were…unneeded in this episode and were only included to fight Striker. These two really are useless when they’re not the focus and you can tell Viv has no idea what to do with them when they’re not. Also…..Viv…..Viv……is Moxxie strong, or not? Make up your fucking mind. In this episode he’s able to get the upper hand against a bigger imp, make him bleed and tie him to the car without an issue, and yet he’s been characterized as weak and not the muscle of the group. Is he strong or not? YAYY MORE CHARACTER INCONSISTENCIES! And glad to know Millie did nothing….as usual. Besides fight.

So Stolas has officially become Angel Dust, and Moxxie is slowly turning into Blitz so that’s great. It’s amazing how there’s barley a difference between the Stolas and Angel tho, he’s just Angel Dust. And Chaz. And Blitz. And every other fucking gay male character Viv writes. The constant cursing, the quick sassy witty banter, the sex jokes of him being tied up, you can tell Viv wrote this with those “harder” jokes between Moxxie and Stolas like…wow, it’s amazing how her gay characters have recycled personalities, aka the Sassy gay twink. Anyway, to me, Stolas before was horny and rabid don’t get me wrong, but something about the way he is in this episode just irks me more. I get that he hates Stella and Striker, but now he just seems like a petty sassy royal bird who acts like a child 24/7…..and it’s unfunny…..and annoying. All these characters are written like fucking children I can’t.

Apparently Striker has a reputation, is wanted around Hell and is well known for being an assassin now??? I thought he was just some Imp who was hired to kill someone? Lmao yet another retcon because if this was the case before, you’d think IMP would have heard of him in Harvest Moon. What’s also retconned is Striker saying he was asked to give Stolas the “full royal treatment”, to torture him I guess but….no? He was hired to shoot Stolas with an angelic gun. Why didn’t he just fucking shoot him. Speaking of that, where is the fucking angelic gun? The IMP gang had it last, and now they don’t have it. Also I already pointed this out but…Stolas can’t recognize Striker despite meeting him in episode 5 upfront. Let’s actually talk about Striker tho. He wasn’t perfect but he certainly was the best part of the episode. I actually applaud Bosco for his voice acting, and the scene with him snapping at the band to leave him alone was the only joke that made me laugh. I didn’t care about Striker that much before but this episode honestly made me did now, ignoring the fact that he’s characterized as egotistical. Problem is tho, like the rest of the antagonists, Stikers kinda just a tool. So he….may or may not be dead, I legit have no idea. If he is dead however….boy oh boy, that would piss me off, because IF he IS dead……then way to go guys, you killed off the only interesting and cool character. 🫠

I expected it, but it’s amazing how everything beforehand regarding him was for nothing if he does turn out dead. The tension he had between him and Moxxie? Would be gone. The fact that he appeared in Blitz’s hallucination, being someone who was similar to Blitz but they used their skills differently yet were the same regarding being mistreated by the upper class? Would be gone. Striker wanting to rebel against the higher class? Gone. Blitz doesn’t even get to interact with him before he dies, for a character that clearly had an impact on him. I was going to applaud this episode for actually being consistent and keeping Striker the same person who despises the upper class for what they do to the lower class, they even imply that he had someone he cares about taken away, but it’s all fucking gone if they KILLED HIM OFF. It all would go nowhere in the end and it pisses me off now because you HAD an interesting character, a villain who contrasted the main character, who had a point and could be humanized, and who rightfully calls out Stolas and his people being the scum of the earth, and now he might be dead because once again, Vivzie is an impatient writer who pushes the story forward too fast before we can even get to know these important characters, and also doesn’t want Stolas to be in a position where he’s in the wrong. Bro was literally eating at a rich place where imps serve you, treats his butler like a stress toy, talks down to Blitz and other imps…he’s not innocent Viv.

(It’s also obvious but this episode suffers from pacing issues, the constant cut aways, and scenes moving by so fast we can’t digest any of it. The FIGHT scene tho? Good god that was a mess, it’s literally faster than Millie’s fight scene from last episode, and the annoying songs playing as we kept cutting to Blitz at the appointment REALLY doesn’t help. I really feel like this studio can’t handle fight scenes….at all, or knows how they work. The video literally gets fucking blurry at one point like what the FUCK LMAO…..either hire someone who knows how to animate action scenes or don’t do action scenes at all.)

I knew Stella was still going to be one note, so I wasn’t surprised, but honestly what did piss me off is how stupid they make her. She was inconsistent before but now she’s just an idiot, because apparently she needed to be TOLD that once Stolas dies, everything goes to Octavia. Like are you kidding me? She’s so dumb that she needed to be told that?? She doesn’t even respond when Andre mentions Via, lmao her whole character really is “me hate Stolas and me want him dead” and nothing else. I’ll give the episode this, even though we barley got to see Andre, he wasn’t insufferable like I thought he would be, in fact, he’s more tolerable than Stella and Stolas combined since he’s the one who’s annoyed at their bickering and calls Stella out for being dumb, but that’s not a writing flex. Andre clearly seems to be the smart mastermind leading Stella now, I have no idea wether if they’ll later make her sympathetic and paint Andre out to be the baddie leading her, or not, it would be bad writing either way tho. Speaking of that….the way Andre treats Stella is off, and I don’t mean in the way that he could be evil. Like other critic blogs have been saying, he calls her attractive, a minx, and a vixen, all words you….wouldn’t really call your sister. It’s really gross and I’m starting to think the information we’ve been given of these two secretly screwing might be true. Like…if we’re doing straight up incest, I’m ganna hurl.

Andre also is all like “if we keep him alive, we’ll have more opportunities, let’s wait till we can get the upper hand”- and I’m…..what? You HAD the upper hand, that’s number one, and number two, this dialogue is VERY vague and makes me feel like Viv had no idea what exactly Andre’s end goal is here, so she used this dialogue as an excuse to figure it out later since she doesn’t plan shit ahead. Because what is Andre’s end goal? It’s confusing. Stella wants him dead, but then they’re talking about money and possessions. Andre seems to want to help Stella have Stolas’s estate, but she just wanted him dead because she hates him. Now you’re telling me she wants his estate too? YAY MORE RETCONS AND CONFUSING PLOT HOLES. Guess we’ll have to wait for Viv to figure out their motivations later lol.

Yada yada another retcon, Blitz cares for Uwu Stolas and is a dumbass for acting like he never knew Stolas could get hurt despite having a fucking angelic weapon on him and learning royals could be in danger in the last season, moving on-

So we’re finally at the end, the most important scene, the text scene. For starters, just like the other critic blogs have been saying……Ozzie’s finally……FINALLY gets brought up again and acknowledged, and it’s over a fucking blink and you’ll miss it half- assed text message. Like….WOW Viv, way to scrape the bottom of the barrel and confront this in the most underwhelming way possible. Would have been actually impactful and better if we saw this go down on fucking screen and have Blitz and Stolas address this in person, but nah let’s just have it happen off screen because storytelling and Viv? They don’t know each other!

But putting that aside, I want to talk about two important problems I had with this scene, because nobody is talking about how these messages make no goddamn sense. So if you actually read the messages between Blitz and Stolas, I hate how Stolas is characterized here, and I don’t mean how he’s suddenly acting like he always cared about Blitz because that’s been a problem since Ozzie’s, I’m talking about how oblivious and emotionally clingy he is. Like…seriously these text messages are a fucking mess. He suddenly acts clueless to how Blitz feels, wondering if he was upset or not, as if Blitz didn’t fucking tell him exactly why afterwards. Fuck you mean by “you just took off?”- I’m sorry Viv, did you forget the scene where Blitz drove Stolas home that night and called him out on his bullshit, saying all he did was treat him like a plaything? Because yeah, Ozzie’s may have finally been fucking mentioned in this show, but now it’s retconned AGAIN because apparently Stolas is a dumbass and can’t remember why Blitz was mad at him in the first place when he had spelled it out loud and clear. Stolas’s text messages make it out to be like they left the restaurant after Ozzie’s taunting and the scene with them at Stolas’s house never happened. Then Stolas is saying shit like “okay well phew glad you’re not upset then Ozzie is a kidder lol I didn’t mind the jabs he makes at me”- I…..WHAT??? What the fuck is going on? Why is Stolas written differently here? Why is the events of Ozzie’s written differently now? Stolas was literally embarrassed by Ozzie calling him out and hid in his menu, much to Blitz’s dismay. They then leave, Stolas can obviously tell Blitz is upset, and when he tries to reach to him gently, Blitz shuts him out, causing Stolas to cry alone. This episode is apparently now acting like their quarrel never happened because the dialogue is written as if they’re referring to Ozzie’s torment, not Blitz calling him out. This legit pisses me off because the show is once again telling us what we saw didn’t happen and rewriting it to fool us. Making Stolas out to be some vulnerable softie who cares about Blitz’s well being too—

And finally, Viv does what she does best by wanting to make you ship Blitz and Stolas together SO badly, but accidentally contradict herself by showing even MORE proof on why these two aren’t good for each other. Putting all the retconning aside, in this case it’s that…surprise surprise, Blitz is constantly miserable and unhappy around Stolas, or whenever they interact. And it’s not even that Blitz can’t communicate, or sucks at emotions, he just doesn’t fucking LIKE Stolas, and I don’t understand how many times the show is going pin that nail on the head until something actually happens, because this scene would have been more impactful if we weren’t already HERE before. Remember The Circus Viv? Stolas going through his Instagram and noticing Blitz was miserable all the time, and reflecting on how their relationship was a figment of his imagination? This scene is the same, it’s just done through text messages now. Why are we doing this again. And I don’t get what Viv’s end goal is here. Is she trying to make Stolas realize that Blitz never gave a shit about him (because we’re on season two and this bird brain can’t take a hint) or is she trying to make Stolas go “I thought he didn’t care but omg he texted me “get well soon” he DOES love me!” Yeah…probably the last option. This ship sucks. If anything…..why can’t Blitz and Stolas just be fucking friends? You wanna say they care about each other? Fine. But romantically, it just doesn’t work. They aren’t good for each other, and function better as friends, but GOD forbid, we can’t have that because they do the dirty in bed SO IT CAN’T BE PLATONIC, it must be romantic! I was literally right, this ship gets worse and worse every passing episode and Viv wants you to ship it so hard despite the fact that she STILL hasn’t given me ONE good reason why they should be a couple. End of story.

So that pretty much it. This episode was nowhere near has bad as the previous three, it’s the most tolerable, but still heavily flawed in the writing department. The dialogue still lacks nuance and sounds like an edgy 12 year old wrote it, the world is still empty, pacing was off, the animation was off too at times, the constant sex jokes during serious scenes are distracting and take away from what’s going on, the side plot didn’t need to happen, there’s also SCENES that didn’t need to happen, there are multiple retcons and empty plot holes/threads, and Viv once again can’t write a complex serious gay couple. She just doesn’t have the writing chops for it, especially since she keeps rewriting aspects and flip flopping between who is the worse lover and who isn’t. I’ll talk more about this episode later, you know how I rant a lot lol. Tomorrow I’ll be finally answering inbox questions too! If you managed to read my endless rant essay, I thank you! See you soon!

[jinx66]

once upon a timeline

okay so i've been obsessed with ouat recently with my rewatch and i was looking into Henry's weird ass family tree and oh my god i need to put this out there because why.

for starters i've only included big plot points or villains and main characters etc so none of the side plots but also i've realised how weird some of the age gaps are.

oh yeah also ouat likes to fuck with their timelines and historical context so i have gone with the basic dates that make sense based on what the characters in the show actually say.

the dates are what they would be in the real world not in ouat logic.

pre-main timeline

Ancient Greece - zeus and hades happen (season 6)

ancient greece but later - orpheus and Euridice and pandora's box happen

between 400-500AD - the Holy Grail and Merlin and Nimue

1650's-1660's - Mother Gothel leaves the new land without magic

1770- Malcolm is Born

1804- Rumplestiltskin is born, Malcolm is 34

1808- Rumple is abandoned, Peter Pan becomes a fae trickster tumblr meme

1845- Baelfire is born, Rumple is 41

1859- Bae arrives in england, Rumple is 55

1947- Zelena is born and abandoned

1948- Cora and Rumple have their weird affair

1949- Regina is born

1955- Snow White is born

1973- Regina sends the huntsman after snow, Snow is 18, Regina is 24

23/3/1977 - Neal (Bae) chooses this as his fake birthday

22/10/1983 - Emma is born, the curse is cast

1991 - Neal escapes neverland and comes back to the land without magic

15/8/2001 - Henry is born, Emma is 18, Neal Cassidy is 24

22/10/2011 - Emma arrives in Storybrooke

13/5/2012 - The curse is broken.

so some of the dates are based on when episodes aired and things such as when the curse breaks and when emma arrives in storybrooke. other dates are based on easter eggs in the show like Neal's birthday. so i realised that Neal had to have landed back in the real world in 1991 because he was 14 when he got to neverland and obviously didn't age so working backwards those dates make sense.

however... emma was 17 when she got pregnant with henry and at best Neal is 24 but at worst he's 156 years old! i mean what the fuck. and he has to be that old because he tells Emma that technically "I should be a couple hundred by now" (2,15). so at the oldest he can be with Neal's Once upon a time maths education the earliest he can be born is 1845 because big ben isn't built until 1859 which is the absolute earliest that he can be in old england.

the rest of the dates i managed from working backwards from when the curse was broken and cast and from small things the characters say. In the first episode of season 2, Emma says that her and Mary Margaret were the same age which means that the 10 year war she has with regina that ended with the curse started when she was 18.

so what i've found from this is that Henry's family tree back to his paternal great grandad literally spans hundreds of years. the average life span for these fuckers is about 100. basically they're a family of elves and you can't convince me otherwise.

[chalterdh22]

Day 2: Tommy and Joel Miller in "Chase" for Tickletober2024

Summary:  I loved these brothers!  This takes place right after Season 1 when they return to Tommy’s.  They get some time to relax, play some board games, tell stories and just enjoy each other’s company.  While telling stories, Ellie wants to know more about her savior, Joel, and she finds out what he’s ��scared” of.

Warnings: This is a tickle fic, so if that’s not your thing, don’t read.  Some swearing.  All fluff.  Ler: M/F Lee: M

Ellie, Joel and Tommy were hanging out one evening, just telling old stories about life before the infected.  Ellie was eating all this up, because she was never a part of that world.  So, she just kept asking more and more questions.

“So, wait, are you telling me that people used to run for fun, like a lot?”  Ellie asked.

“Yeah, kid.  They ran marathons, which was ‘bout 26 miles I think.”  Joel answered, sipping on a beer, leaning back on the couch.

“Did you run that much?” she asked Joel.

“Hell no, he didn’t run that much.  He never ran at all come to think of it!”  Tommy answered for Joel, smiling, drinking his own beer.

“What, why?”

“Well, for starters, we didn’t have to run for our lives every other day.  Second, I just hated running, but did it if I had to.”  Joel explained.

Tommy looked over weirdly at Joel.  “When did you have to run?”  Joel shrugged and both took another sip.

It got quiet, as Ellie just stared at both of them.

Then Tommy chuckled to himself.

“What?”  Ellie asked, waiting for another great story.

“Nothing really.  I just remembered a time when my big bro ran is all.”

“When the hell was that?”  Joel asked, squinting his eyes, looking back at Tommy.

Tommy put down his beer on the table and leaned in for effect.  “Well, Ellie, what you didn’t know is that, ole Joel here was scared of a specific monster when he was about your age!”  Joel looked at him confused.

“What monster, like a wolf or something?”

“Nah, nothing like that.”  He paused, looked at Joel still with a smile on his face, while Joel stared confused and alert.  He knew something was up.  “Come here.”  Tommy order Ellie, who leaned in and whispered something in her ear.

“No, fuckin way!  A tickle monster???”  Ellie yelled and Joel spit out a little bit of beer as he coughed.

“Dammit Tommy, look what you made me do.”  He yelled back, looking down at his shirt at the mess he made.  “We were kids then, Ellie’s age or younger, ya idiot.”  Joel explained, wiping his shirt.

Tommy was laughing softly to himself.  Their uncles would always mess with them and chase them down and tickle them til they give up.  But in Miller boy fashion, it took some convincing.

“I didn’t know you were ticklish Joel!”  Ellie exclaimed.

“I’m not anymore, ya hear!  I grew out of that shit!”  Joel snapped back.

“Suuure you did.”  Ellie replied rolling her eyes.  It then got quiet again, but not in a good way.  Both Ellie and Tommy were staring straight at Joel, grinning ear to ear.  Joel was shifting in his seat, trying to play it cool, but it didn’t work.

“What’s wrong big brother?”  Joel didn’t answer, he just squinted back at Tommy.  Tommy started scooting on the couch towards Joel and Ellie did the same.

“Don’t….. you……….dare……” Joel breathed sternly.

“What?  I thought nothing ever bother ya!  Was that all talk?” Ellie asked sweetly, with a glimmer of mischief in her eyes.  Joel didn’t respond to her.  Instead, he stood up fast but Tommy was quicker, as he was younger and had more spring in his step. 

Tommy gave Joel a big bear hug from behind, scooped his arms with his and fell backward on the couch, taking Joel with him. 

“What the fuck ya doin, ya shit?  Let go!”  Joel was struggling, but he was in a weird position, his armed were fastened into Tommy’s and he was partially drunk.

“Well, well.  Look what we have here!”  Ellie said in a cowgirl like accent.  “Looks like we caught ourselves a thief stealing the cattle, old Tom.  What should we do about it?”  She now was sitting on Joel’s thighs with both her legs on each side of him.  Joel was sweating something fierce, but a smile crack of smile was starting to form.

“Well, punishment in the form of ticklin should do it!  Start with them hips!”  Tommy played back in his southern voice.

“Ellie, doooooooo’nt!”  Too late.  The girl dug her small hands into each hip and squeezed hard.  Joel’s body seem to go airborne and almost bucked her off, but she held tight.  “Naaaaaaaah, shiiiiiiiiittttt!”

“Damn, you weren’t lying Tommy!  Holy shit!”  she kept kneading her fingers, deep in his hip crevasses as he was trying to slide off the couch, holding in his laughter.

“Try his sides now!”  Tommy responded back, holding his arms tight.

“Yes sir” she said with an exaggerated salute.

“Nooooooowwwww iffffff youuuuuu doooonnnn’t sttttttoooppppp, IIIII’lllll kiiiillllll yaaaaaaaaaaa boooththhhhhhhh!!!!”  Joel gasped out as Ellie was poking every rib she could find under his thick flannel shirt.  She was rubbing each rib as it was being cleaned or something.  Everytime he’d yelp or jump, she rub that one a little longer.

“Shut up!”  Ellie yelled back, then she dove for the kill right up to his arm pits!

“Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!   Ssssssssssssssstttttttttooopppppppppppp, puuuuuuuuuuuulleeeeease!!!!  Naahhahahaa……Aghhhhhhh!”  Joel started gasping at this point, into a coughing fit.  The cough turned to wheezing and more gasping so Tommy released him.

Rolling off the couch onto the ground, Ellie pulled her hands back and stood over her strong defender, the one that did the impossible and more, all in a pile of a giggly mess.

“This is great!  You better laugh at my jokes from now on or I’ll sick the tickle monster on you!”  Ellie yelled down at Joel, wiggling her fingers. Joel was still laughing phantom laughs but was able to breathe again.  He had a red face and tears in his eyes.  His arm went up to cover his eyes and was shaking his head.

“So, big brother, what were you sayin earlier about not bein ticklish anymore?”  Tommy asked, crouched over Joel, smiling.

“You’re dead!”  Joel whispered.  At that moment, Ellie laughed, jumped up fast and ran out the door.  He wouldn’t chase her after all his energy was drained so she had a chance.

Tommy stood up and walked out into the kitchen. 

“You better not ever sleep again, baby brother!”  Joel threated to Tommy.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.  Just go get the kid.”

“Oh, I will later.”  Joel said sitting upright now.  “I need a drink first.”

The end.

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PRELIMINARY ROUND - BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER/ANGEL THE SERIES

PROPAGANDA

Fred Burkle

1.) She is chronically a damsel in distress in the canon even though she has demonstrated her intelligence and ability to use weapons. The canon consistently takes away her agency over her body and ability to make decisions just to further plot. Why does she die because she gets possessed by a god for no reason </3

2.) ok I promise I'll be more normal about the other ats female characters than about cordy. fred was introduced as a genius physicist who had spent five years stuck in a demon dimension where humans were persecuted, surviving on her own and trying to somehow find a way back home. after being rescued from the demon dimension by the show's main characters, she joins the main cast and starts trying to readjust to the normal world. the setup for her character is really interesting, with her having a lot of trauma from her time in the demon dimension, feeling helpless, and struggling to become comfortable living in the human world again. but I guess because she's a Woman the show instead reduces her to just being at the centre of a love triangle with two of the other main characters, which she has almost no agnecy in and gets stretched out over like two seasons. and then after she breaks up for good with one of the guys and it looks like MAYBE she'll at least be freed from love triangle hell, the show introduces a NEW love interest for her just to keep the love triangle drama going. she basically never gets any focus or to be an active player in the show's plot aside from in a couple of episodes, pretty much being reduced to just a damsel in distress. and as if all that wasn't bad enough, fred's story ends with her being killed by a demon that takes over her body and destroys her from the inside out in a way that isn't Technically a mystical pregnancy but is like. close enough to one and presented close enough to one for it to count. (if you read the cordelia submission and are perhaps thinking to yourself jesus christ did they actually fridge both their main female characters in exactly the same way? Yes. Yes they did.) the demon in fred's body then allegedly becomes a new member of the main cast but the show does pretty much nothing with this character and she doesn't play any important role so it really does just feel like fred died for no reason other than to make her boyfriend sad. This is because fred died for no reason other than to make her boyfriend sad. It fucking sucks but I guess it's not like she got any agency or development when she was alive either

3.) Poor Fred. Amy Acker is a fantastic actress and Fred had the potential to become a truly wonderful character - a brilliant scientist who goes through intense trauma and finds her purpose in helping other people. I have a lot of love for her. Unfortunately she was the victim of a lot of really misogynistic writing. For starters, a lot of her characterisation falls into the ‘quirky weird girl who’s hot but doesn’t realise’ camp which Joss Whedon is fond of. Like other examples of this, her trauma is turned into something quirky which fades away once they get bored of it. Also, she becomes completely sidelined and silenced in a love triangle where the feelings of the man pining over her are given all air time, and her own opinion is never mentioned. Additionally, she’s constantly sidelined in the final season after being made the token girl, and is finally killed off unceremoniously to generate drama and pain for the aforementioned man who was pining over her. And you know what the worst part is? She still gets off more lightly than Cordelia.

Cordelia Chase (CW: Pregnancy)

1.) (downs an entire bottle of vodka and slams it back on the table) SO. CORDY. Cordy started off as a supporting character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the start she was your typical high school mean girl character, but as the show went on we got to see more depth to her character: her insecurities, her courage, her capacity for incredible acts of kindness. Then after the third season she moved into the show's spin off, Angel, where from the beginning she was basically the show's secondary protagonist. Her and Angel were the two mainstays of the show's main cast, she gets the most episodes centered on her out of all the characters aside from Angel (and yes, I've checked), and we really got to see her grow from a very shallow and self-centered and kind of mean person to a true hero who was prepared to give up any chance at a normal life to fight the good fight while still never losing the basic core of her character. There were some… questionable moments like the episode where she gets mystically pregnant with demon babies and things got a bit iffy like halfway through season 3 where the writers seemed to run out of ideas for what to do with her outside of sticking her in this romance drama/love triangle situation with the main character but overall, pretty good stuff right? THEN SEASON 4 HAPPENED. In season 4 she gets stripped of literally all agency and spends pretty much the entire season possessed by an evil higher power, and while possessed she sleeps with Angel's teenage son (who BY THE WAY she had helped raise as a baby before he got speed-grown-up into a teenager it was a whole thing don't worry about it) and gets pregnant with like. the physical manifestation of the higher power that's possessing her. it's about as bad and stupid as it sounds and also is like the third time cordy's got mystically pregnant in this show and like the fourth mystical pregnancy storyline overall (you will be hearing more on that note in other submissions I'm so sorry). after giving birth she goes into a coma, in which she remains for the rest of season 4 and the first half of season 5. SPEAKING OF WHICH DON'T THINK SEASON 5 IS GETTING OFF SCOT FREE HERE. yeah so in season 5 the show just FULLY starts trying to erase cordy's existence. she gets mentioned ONCE in the first episode and then never again until halfway through the season where she wakes up, helps out Angel for a bit and encourages him in his fight against evil, and then goes quietly into that good night and dies so it can be all sad and tragic. I'd call it the worst fridging of all time but even THAT feels generous because the whole point of fridging is killing off a female character so a man can be sad, and after Cordy dies basically no one's even sad about it because the show immediately goes back to pretending she never existed. she is not mentioned ONCE in the two episodes after she dies. in the whole stretch of time between her death and the end of the season she gets mentioned exactly four times. again, I counted. anyway the fun twist to all of this is that all of this happened because the actress who played cordy got pregnant before season 4 and joss whedon was so pissed off about this affecting his plans for the show that he decided to completely fuck over her character and then fire her and write her out of the show. so cordy's a victim of both writing AND real life misogyny!! good times!!

2.) OH SO MANY THINGS they menaced by giving her terrible hair cuts, making her seem like she'd get together with the guy she loves (and who loves her back) but instead she was killed and when she was brought back, she got possessed by an evil entity who used her body to give birth to itself. afterwards she was in a long coma and died. her character was so throughoutly assassinated

3.) She got demonically pregnant TWICE - there was this real sense of a womb/ability to get pregnant as like, a place for evil to get in. She got positioned as femme fatale and evil mother. The actress basically got fired for being pregnant, and when she agreed to come back for a single final episode she specifically said they could do anything but kill off the character. Guess what happened

[lilac-roleplay-starters]

Smiling Friends (Season 1 & 2) sentence starters :    

"I would really not be screaming that at the top of your lungs."

"Oh wow what a great idea, NOT!"

"Okay, I'm not doing this right now. Bye."

"Dude, I warned you, I said I was gonna do that if you did it again!"

"I just wanted my cheese!!!"

"I hate milk."

"I think i’m about to puke."

"I’m gonna knock your block off you little freak!"

"Coming from someone with weird eyes, you should learn to love yourself."

"The world we live in stresses me out..."

"Oh my God, I paid $600 for that."

"It was all a ruse you pathetic little ant!"

"I guess our best years are just behind us."

"I have brought great dishonor to my ancestors!"

"…I don’t really want this."

"Uh, no dip!"

"And now you know my cool fucking backstory..."

"See that's exactly why I don't dress up for Halloween, right there. That's the reason."

"By the way, for the record, you should probably knock or make yourself known next time you enter someone's place."

"You pissed me the frick off, dude!"

"Dude what the fuck you’re so old, why are you even here?"

"This is the most obnoxious thing I’ve ever experienced in my life."

[mentalmeles]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog 24

Suicidal urges be damned, it's time for Season 1 Finale! (Hooray for Season 2 announcement~!)

FALIN! SIGHTINGGG!!! WITH HER VOICEEEEEEE!!!

Laios' idea to change Falin's lower half isn't too terrible of an idea, but it certainty wouldn't work in the long run.. She wouldn't be able to bathe for starters and I doubt people on the surface would welcome her, small sized dragon with her humanity restored or not. There has to be a way to restore her original body, right?

WUH OH! GARGOYLES!

LSDfjlkfj poor Marcille.. She just keeps getting knocked around like a ping pong ball LMAO

ELF SENSHI IS STILL SO CURSED WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE THAT EVEN WHEN HE'S GETTING INJURED LJKFLKF

Yes!! Way to go, Chilchuck and Marcille!!

TAKE TO THE SKY, MARCILLE!!!

gOD, I CAN'T WAIT TILL SENSHI IS BACK TO NORMAL... BRING US BACK OUR HOT ASS DWARF!!!

Yay!! They're back to normal!! :D

LAIOS AND FALIN BACKSTORYYYY!!

Aww.. Laios really just showed up out of the blue after who knows how long and Falin just...decided to go along with him, right then and there. There wasn't even any hesitation. She must have missed him so, so much. ...And she must have been very, very lonely, too.

BABY FALIN.... HER CHEEKS ARE SO CHUBBY... TTATT

Marcille... (IT'S TIME TO FUCKING C RY.....)

AGGHHH SO MUCH FALIN THIS EP I AM EATING WELL

They... They gotta eat Falin in order to save her. Why am I surprised??

....Wait. Another mid size group?? THE CANARIES......

!! FALIN IN REAL TIME!! Whoa, wait.. Is Thistle not letting her eat any of the monsters?? What is he feeding her, then?? Is he feeding her anything at all?? This is so FUCKED! LET HER GO, YOU BASTARD!!!

And just like that, Season 1 has come to a close... I really hope we don't have to wait too long for Season 2. I want to see Laios and the others rescue Falin so that they can all eat a nice, warm meal together again. And again, and again, and again...